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luveline · 2 years

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hihi ! i followed your account super recently which is such a shame, because your writing is literally like perfect perfect perfect ?!! also please write this only if you feel like you want to okay ? i know you're sick and i don't wanna pressurise you at all

okayyy so, how about reader and sirius being in a relationship and one day when she's telling him how she loves him, he starts to tell her how/why he adores her back and she gets uncomfortable/can't get herself to believe such nice things and he notices and you can take it from here because this is getting too self indulgent 💀

(i've used she/her pronouns while requesting but you can use any pronouns you feel comfortable writing for !)

hi thanks so much! i hope this is okie <3

Sirius’ lap is your favourite place on earth. You love how it feels to be held by him, so close and so kindly, his hand pressed into the bump of your tummy, fingers spread over your naval, the other usually on your face or near it.

It's ridiculous in its simplicity, how this one pleasure can be comforting beyond measure. He looks so handsome, his face completely relaxed. It's a privilege to see him like this.

"You're so handsome," you tell him, face shifting against his chest as you reach up to cradle his cheek.

He pulls his eyes from the TV to beam at you. "Oh yeah?"

"Mm. You have the loveliest nose ever." He shakes his head. "I'm serious!" You draw your finger over the bump in his nose, then to his lips, the cupids bow and the corners. "'Nd your lips, too."

You shift again and he helps you automatically, arm tight around your back. Closer now you can see your reflection in his eyes. "Pretty eyes," you drag your thumbnail under his lashes carefully, "really pretty."

Said eyes crease with fondness. "Not as pretty as yours, baby."

You frown and duck out of his eyeline to kiss his scratchy jawline. "I love your voice."

"Sweetheart," he says in warning. It furthers your point.

"'Specially when you're calling me names," you murmur. You press a half-open kiss to the soft spot under his ear.

"Convenient, 'cos I love calling you names, pretty thing."

"I love you," you tell him sincerely, arms wrapped around his back, hands behind his shoulder blades.

He drops a kiss into your hair. "As I love you. Your lovely face, your big huge heart. Your smile…"

His fingers push under your ear, pulling you up with both hands. He's smiling wide, eyes creased in bliss. You try to copy his expression but the compliments never fit right.

"You wanna give me one?" he asks.

You do your best. His frown is almost imperceptible.

"Hey, thanks, baby. You're beautiful," he says, dipping down to kiss you chastely. "So beautiful," another kiss, "inside," a third kiss, "and out," he says, smiling against your lips.

Your eyes scrunch closed. You push your nose into his cheek, squished up against him, hiding from his affections that you desperately want to believe, but just… can't.

"You don't think so?" he asks under his breath.

"We were talking about you," you try.

"You're everything to me, you know? Funny, smart," you snort, he scowls, he doubles down, "not just in words. You understand me better than anyone I've ever met, and you're more loving than a person should be."

"Siri," you whisper. "You don't have to."

"No, I do," he says, laughing in a way that tells you he doesn't find it so funny, "because I don't think you believe me."

You clutch him tightly. Hiding, always hiding.

He rubs the back of your head. "Are you listening to me?"

"Of course I am."

"Tell me something nice about yourself. Come on, just one thing."

You groan, and you don't want to be that type of pathetic, but sometimes saying nice things about yourself is hard. Like you're expecting someone to jump around the corner and say - that's not true. Like they're gonna have a list of all the things that prove it wrong.

"You're caring," Sirius says eventually, broaching your silence. "You're always trying to make me feel good. Tell me you're caring."

"I'm caring," you say, if only to keep him happy. To ease the frustration welling behind his patient tone.

"Yes, you are. What else?"

"Sirius-"

"Please."

Your hands bawl in his shirt. He smells of you, your sheets, your detergent. You can't remember when that happened.

"I love you," you say.

He laughs. "Alright, you got me. That's definitely one of your better qualities. Loving me is just synonyms for other things. Generosity, patience, loyalty. Bravery, vulnerability."

You pretend to throw up. He takes great offense to this and worms his fingers into your skin until you're laughing, tickled to the point of shrieking pleading.

"Be nice to my girl," he says, having pinned you down. You're panting, willing to do anything if it'll save you from a second punishment, so you nod. He nods back. "Good. Or I'll be nice for you. And we both know how nice I can be." You're pretty sure that's positive reinforcement.

#sirius x you #sirius orion black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius x reader fluff #sirius black imagine #marauders era #marauders #sirius black drabble

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moiravim · 6 months

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Roughen Up Part 3: Reunions

Roughen Up Masterlist

Sirius Black

I'm going to talk to my sister. I need to speak with her. Remus made me realize that. I wish everyone was a little more like Remus.

I jump out of bed, making both Remus and James look at me confused. I walk out before they can say anything. I don't want to make this a big deal.

My thought process backfires because James follows me out. "Sirius. Where are you going? What are you doing? You need to stop running off like this."

I don't want to answer him but I know I have to, or else he'll follow me all the way to the slytherin common room.

"I'm going to talk to my sister, James! Please, just... Leave me alone."

He looks at me with a guilty expression before nodding and walking out. I feel bad, but I have greater problems.

I walk through the halls, walking down to the slytherin common room. I can't get in because the password has changed recently, so I wait for a slytherin to open the door so I can sneak in.

A slytherin boy in the year ahead of me walks up and opens the door. He gives me a weird look, but I follow him into the common room.

The Slytherins in the room see visibily upset that I'm here, but I don't care. I look around for my sister, but I don't see her. Although, I do see her roommate.

"Hey! Dorcas, right? Where's my sister?", I asked. She looks at me with a confused expression before responding; "she's probably in the library. She's always in there. Why?".

I ignore her question, nodding before storming out of the common room. I'm starting to become anxious about talking to her and I wonder if I should go back to my common room. I don't.

I find myself opening the library door.

Regulus Black

I need to talk to someone about this, about me. That I want to be a boy. I can't tell Sirius, he won't support me. I wish Pandora had stayed a little longer. Maybe I would've told her. She seems very open minded, and if things go wrong it barely matters because I just met her.

I can't loose my brother. Or have I already lost him?

I get up and walk towards the bookshelf. I hate these books. I like reading Sirius' muggle books. He has a small collection of them, but from the ones I've read, they're better.

The door opens but I ignore it until I hear the words, "I need to speak to you".

It's my brother, I know it is. I turn around and look at him, confused.

"What do you need?", I respond with an annoyed tone. I don't want to talk to him. But maybe I could tell him how I feel. Would it be worth it?

I try to list the good and bad things that could happen. First the bad things; I'd say I could loose my brother, but he already hates me. I geuss he could out me too.

Now the good things; I could get support, help with transitioning, and possibly fix my relationship with him.

I make my decision, "Sorry. Your right. I need to talk to you, too". He looks at me like he wasn't expecting that.

"Okay... Um... Would you like to go somewhere more private?", he asks. I nod.

We go into one of the private study rooms in the library.

He sits in the chair in front of me and begins, "I don't want to loose you. Your my sister. I miss how things used to be". I cringe at the word "sister".

I think about what to say. Nothing comes out. "I don't understand why you are acting like this", he adds.

"I'm transgender. I want to be a boy. The fact that I'm a girl makes me want to kill myself". Silence.

Dorcas Meadows

The party's been fun so far. Other than a strange conversation I had with Sirius when the party was starting.

I haven't made any friends yet this year, but the atmosphere is nice. Everyone is having fun.

A girl has caught my attention. I think she may be a Gryffindor because she's with Lily Evans. She has blonde hair up to her shoulders, and a bright red dress that matches her lips.

I try to make my way closer to her. I pretend like I'm getting another drink and then I stand by where her and her friends stood.

The lighting was dim and the music was loud, making it impossible for me to talk to her. What's the worst that could happen if I just go up and dance with people I don't know?

I put my drink down on the windowsill and walk onto the dancefloor.

"Hey!", I try to yell over the loud music. This is completely out of character for me, but it just feels right. And I may be getting a little drunk.

"Hi!", she shouts back with a wide smile. Her friends leave, going to do their own thing, leaving her with me.

"What's your name?", I ask, my voice still raised. "Marlene! And you?"

"Dorcas."

We continue to dance. Eventually dancing turns into dancing together. I try to get as close to her as possible without making it too obvious.

I cannot keep my eyes off her lips. She's dancing and I'm dancing. I take a step closer to her and she smiles at me.

I put my hands on each side of her head, grasping her hair. I lean in to kiss her, but then I pause.

What am I doing? I don't even know if she's gay. To be quite honest, I don't even remember her name. Marlene, was it?

What if I'm not her type? Since one have I cared about these type of things. I should just kiss her-

My thoughts are interrupted by her pulling me in and kissing me. We're both smiling, and when we pull away, I laugh a sound of relief.

A/N: Three chapters in a week, this has to be a record for me haha. Hopefully you guys like how this story is going so far. :) <3 Also, sorry for the flashing on the gif. I know it's annoying, but it was just perfect for this chapter.

@jegulusposts @thestarslittleking @doingyourmom069

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saintsenara · 20 days

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Ok I’m curious on your take on Lupin ships now so: Lupin/Lily, Lupin/Molly, Lupin/Mcgonagall and Lupin/Dumbledore ??

thank you very much for the ask, anon! i know I'm often quite harsh to poor old remus as a potential romantic partner, but i actually quite back some of these...

lily evans/remus lupin

answered here - although this isn't one of the ones i back...

remus lupin/molly weasley

answered here - this very much is one i back.

remus lupin/minerva mcgonagall

however controversial a statement this may be, i am a really big fan of mcgonagall/marauders-era pairings. i've always backed her with snape, and i have recently decided to become invested in the concept of her with sirius.

and as i've said there, one of the things i find really interesting about writing mcgonagall is how easily she can be turned into someone who is cynical and jaded when it comes to love - which fits lupin, who believes the great romantic love of fairytales to be something the man he sees himself as has no hope of accessing, to a tee.

and i also like how much of mcgonagall's life is influenced by the twin forces of guilt and grief - and how this is also something lupin shares. i think something fascinating could be done with a story set during prisoner of azkaban which has both her and lupin wrestling with the guilt they feel for not realising that sirius had gone over to the death eaters and would betray james and the way that grief fights against their fond memories of him - and which then explored how their guilt would shift once sirius' innocence was revealed towards them feeling terrible about how they could ever have believed that he might have been a traitor.

i think this one's really got potential, lads. get writing.

albus dumbledore/remus lupin

yes, entirely because it would be so fucked-up.

i find lupin's canonical relationship with dumbledore incredibly interesting, particularly the ways his incredibly rigid loyalty to dumbledore, his placing of him on a pedestal, and his desperate desire for dumbledore's approval all stem from the fact that he is so beholden to dumbledore for the [modicum] of safety he enjoys in the world.

it's implied in the text that lupin is the only werewolf in the latter half of the twentieth century [and so, i think we can argue, the only werewolf in history] who is permitted to study at hogwarts - and, therefore, to receive access to an institution which is integral to maintaining the class system around which the wizarding world functions. as lupin tells us in half-blood prince, he's the only werewolf he knows who bears the "civilising" markers of having been allowed an elite wizarding education - and these give him a level of privilege over his peers even as he's discriminated against by the state.

and every single advantage he ever attains comes via dumbledore. the backstory for lupin on pottermore makes clear that dumbledore offered him the opportunity to study at hogwarts as a result of his personal beef with fenrir greyback [rather than a desire to improve access to education for werewolves more generally] and then protected him over the course of his schooldays. dumbledore is also the only reason he gets his job in prisoner of azkaban - and, with it, access to the lifesaving wolfsbane potion for the first time.

it's clear that lupin feels rightfully grateful to dumbledore for these opportunities, but it's also clear that his gratitude means he is unwilling to criticise, contradict, or disobey dumbledore directly.

which is, obviously, a recipe for disaster in the context of an intimate relationship...

#asks answered #asenora's opinions on ships #unhinged and deranged ships #remus lupin edition

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veryberryjelly · 9 months

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hello-first and foremost, congratulations on graduating :DD

secondly, i have never done these sort of things due to my shyness as well as english not being my mother tongue so apologies for my lack of understanding if i ever word something wrong.

i saw your cafe event and just decided out of the blue to give it a shot so, here we are-(apologies if i give too much info or too little-)

🥐

for fandom, preferably the marauders fandom if that's alright- i have recently been sucked into the marauders fandom due to a friend(i did not expect this much angst-), now onto some info about myself. i am an intp and a libra, currently taking psychology, who also does art from time to time- but for the most part i am a cosplayer. i read, occasionally, and it's always either a really dark novel or a light-hearted romance. my hogwarts house is slytherin, which people say are a half surprised and half expected, because i try not to get too confrontational but when i am- i get too brutally honest and make sure my opinion and thoughts are clear. i can also be a teeny bit petty at times, and i've been known to somehow always get what i want- i am a big big big hopeless romantic, and i pretty much spoil my friends by buying them flowers or writing letters to them almost everyday because that's my love language. when people first meet me, i am very cold and distant which intimidates most people but once i feel comfortable around someone i get pretty loud and clingy. my aesthetic, in the best words that i could put it in, is the grungy rockstar gf aesthetic.

i also do makeup on anyone, to the point that my classmates will ask me to randomly do their makeup during lunch break. i practically live in eyeliner and black coats. i am also polyamorous, asexual, omniromantic and identify as a demigirl(though i am starting to question my gender identity AGAIN). i spend most days at the library or just my room in general, but on the occasional days where i go out, i will normally go visit museums, go shopping, or stop by cafes(i love cafes alot). and i think that's everything? again, apologies if i did something wrong and congratulations again on finishing school :DD

𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

thank you so much for this ask 🖤

i ship you with...

poly!wolfstar !!!

okay, so, i was going back and forth between sirius and remus, but then i saw you're polyamorous so i thought it just more appropriate to give you both <3

you and remus are trading books every few days, recommending and giving eachother annotated books

i feel like sirius would be apprehensive about dating you because of your house and his whole family history with slytherins, but after he gets to know you he cannot get you out of his head

remus is 100% ready to jump in head first with you, but he did have a slight moment of hesitation a few weeks in when the full moon comes around.

if you write any love letters to sirius or remus they'll keep them in their bedside drawers and even ask lily how to press flowers so they can keep the ones you give them

every time you give them something they return the favour.

you give them flowers, you're getting a field of them in your dorm

sirius would 100% ask you to do his makeup for him, even if he's not going anywhere, but especially for parties.

he's laying on his bed with you on his lap applying eyeliner while laying his head in remus' lap so the three of you are involved.

they'll never let you feel left out for even a second.

#🥐 - jelly cafe event #·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 #sirius black #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin smut #remus lupin imagine #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black x reader #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar headcanon #poly!wolfstar x reader #poly!wolfstar #marauders era

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mxlfoydraco · 1 year

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Hi! So I'm so sorry I can't remember the name of the fic but it was a very recent wolfstar fic, bring black back, Sirius comes back after 2 years and Remus is already married with Tonks, Molly was being a b*tch most of the time. Anyways I'm telling you this cause I remember around when the fic came out you were talking about how in canon Molly was presuring Remus to be with Tonks and that she most likely wouldn't approve of wolfstar as well. The point of this whole ask is: what do you think, as closely to canon as possible, would be Molly's reaction to Drarry if they like get together after the war?? Ngl I've read my fair share of fics where the weasley's welcome Draco with open arms but I can also see the opposite happening, there was this one other fic (which I also can't remember the name sorry!) And Molly was always suspicious of Draco and treated him very passive agressive until Harry finally yelled at her to leave his husband alone and omg it was so satisfying lol 😅

Okay, first of all, the first fic is A Grave Mistake by @soloorganaas and I will sing its praises forever.

I don’t know which fic is the HD one because I’ve seen similar scenes in more than one. If you ask my opinion though, Molly would definitely be the hardest to conquer for Harry.

She genuinely loves Harry no different than her kids but… she’s also quite judgemental with them as well? Bill and Fleur are the prime example of this. She forcibly cut Charlie’s hair and criticized Bill’s style too. Not to forget her burning Fred and George’s order farms because she thought they should get ministry jobs. And the lovely slutshaming of fourteen year old Hermione. 😬

She has an idea about how things should be and reacts badly when her loved ones stray from that. Consider the fact that Ginny is her coveted daughter she had yearned for for years. Also, how badly she would want Harry to officially join the Weasley family. This is all before even touching on her feelings about the Malfoys too.

So, yeah, I do think that she would struggle with the idea of them together a lot. I don’t think she would ever cut Harry off though. She would indeed be quite passive aggressive and guilt trippy, and it’d be really hard for Harry. This is his first family, his inner neglected child would be terrified of losing them. I think it would probably end up in a big row with everyone crying.

(Close Behind by @oflights handled Molly’s reaction, ongoing attitude and how it could affect Harry super well imo).

I think she would come around at some point but that tension would always remain. That’s what Fleur experienced as well in my opinion. It’s probably nothing that can’t be managed in the end (hopefully).

#asks #drarry #hp meta #molly weasley

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elvendorx · 4 months

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omg can we hear more about your wips if youre comfortable sharing? i read your tags on your recent post and i nearly SCREAMED i really enjoy your writing!!!!

omg absolutely! thank you so much for this ask because the last few things i posted have been very rushed and for fests that i ran out of time on but still posted so i haven't been very confident in them. so i don't know which of mine you read but thank you it means a lot that you enjoyed <33

the next couple of things i will probably post are linked. last year i wanted to write a cosy sort-of found family on boxing day thing featuring james, sirius, lily, regulus & remus that was very slice of life with not much plot.

then i thought of a plot and changed it to a new year fic which is lily/regulus but also james/sirius where james & sirius have a new year party and sirius asks regulus to distract lily so that james can't make a move on her at midnight

but then i didn't finish it so i'm working on it again this year. then i read the boxing day thing again and i still liked it and they're quite different fics now so i'm hoping to post both

then i have (all romantic james/sirius lol):

house in the woods - this is one of the toxic jily fics! my mind has just been piling up with scenes the past couple of days and i can't keep up. but the premise is the potters in hiding in godric's hollow from lily's pov but her and james are growing apart, sirius is visiting a lot and lily's noticing how james is around sirius vs when it's just them. it makes lily think about friendship, marriage, people she's been close to (so snape) all while trying to spy on james and sirius and work out whether they're actually a thing or if they haven't worked it out yet. lots of sniping back and forth from james and lily, maybe tilting the canon perspective a bit. everyone's going to be an asshole in this <3

half a heart - this is basically james grieving his parents and sirius looking after him and james suddenly being aware of mortality and the people close to him and the fear of losing them. alternating pov, the only multi-chapter fic i have planned because it got too big

hogshead barman sirius fic - this is 21 year old james and 36 year old sirius. sirius runs the hogs head with regulus, has mentally retired, wants an easy life and can't catch a break from james who is embarrassingly flirty and uncool and sirius is like NO I'M OLD and james is like IDC YOU'RE HOT AND I LOVE YOU (after like the first time they meet). a very horny fic

messy jily break-up fic - i've had this plotted for like a year but i started writing it recently for rom com au for prongsfoot bingo. james and lily have a messy break-up, they weren't together THAT long but it was intense and they both try to "win" the break up and they go out of their way to have horrible arguments and sirius is just along for the ride

here comes the rain - remus and sirius in ootp having a drink for james on 27th march, talking about how much they love him. not sure if i want this to be canon compliant or sirius confirming to remus that him and james were a thing/he was in love with james

deep sea baby - mwpp holiday. literally came up with this while i was on holiday but james takes everyone on holiday to give them some big news (sirius knows) and they're all just like "just text it?" but james is extravagant. so he tells them that his dad is selling the company and they all have shares so it should be great news, big payout, but sirius is moody and then there are cute holiday moments and also tension. idk i love writing sirius who just cba with anyone but james makes him crack and i especially love sirius being rude to remus and remus having nothing to say back, sorry, i just do. i lied, this is also multichapter (like 4)

then i have some which i haven't worked on in ages but haven't completely shelved which are:

quidditch world cup 1978 - sirius tries to get james and regulus to go to the quidditch world cup, even though it's wartimes and even though james and regulus have never really gotten to know each other or wanted to. it's like a one last hurrah to youth before the war and going their separate ways and sirius making a connection and maybe trying to get through to regulus. might have to mess with the timeline with this, might just skim over it for james/sirius &regulus which is such a good dynamic

animagus fic - literally just the process of mwpp becoming animagi but with james/sirius in there, it's all about how it brings them closer together

prank fic - intended as like a follow up to the animagus thing, also with james/sirius, lots of tension with remus and james not being as angry with sirius as remus thinks he should be (or at all). need to reimagine parts of this because my perception of snape has evolved

coffee shop au - literally what it says on the tin. started in like 2016 because i was like WHY don't j/s fandom have a coffee shop au? lily works there, remus works there, sirius starts working there, it's called the jam pot, james' mom owns it, there's a little flat above it. one day i will finish this because it just needs sprucing really but the other fics excite me more atm

then i have like threeee other ideas that i haven't written anything, even a plan, for yet so i'll leave those as this is already long

please feel free to ask more about any of these and thank you again for reading my writing <33

#ask

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midnightstargazer · 1 year

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So, I've been posting on AO3 since December, but since this account is new, I figured I should probably post something with a bit more info about me. This will be mostly a fandom blog, so let's talk about that.

What am I a fan of?

A lot of things, but specifically, for purposes of this blog, Harry Potter. Especially all of the following:

Regulus, Andromeda, Sirius, and the Black family more generally

The Marauders' generation as a whole and stories centered around the first war against Voldemort

Slytherin and Ravenclaw

Morally gray characters and characters with complex motives

Obscure background characters we know almost nothing about

What about ships?

Eh, I can take or leave them most of the time. Most of my writing is Gen, with romance only as an incidental part of the background. If I have a romantic OTP it's probably Tedromeda, but you'll see me post plenty of things that have nothing to do with them.

As far as my favorite relationship dynamic, of any kind? Definitely Sirius & Regulus. In a totally platonic brothers-turned-enemies-who-I-wish-had-reconciled sort of way.

Hogwarts House?

Ravenclaw. Or possibly Hufflepuff, but probably Ravenclaw. A lot of my favorite characters are Slytherins, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't last a day there.

Marauders Era only, or Harry Potter more broadly?

Overall, I find the obscure background characters more interesting to write about than the main protagonists. I like being able to come up with my own take on them and piece together an untold story. Right now, my interest is mainly in the Marauders Era characters and the first war, but it's quite possible - I'd even say probable - that I'll at some point decide to branch out into other time periods. Maybe I'll decide to look at the second war from the POV of someone in the Order or at the Ministry. Maybe I'll come up with a canon divergence idea and explore how it impacts the next generation. Who knows?

Unpopular opinions?

I imagine Regulus a lot darker than the current fanon interpretation. Subject to brainwashing and peer pressure, yes. Capable of courage and compassion, yes. Totally innocent victim, forced to join the Death Eaters, never held any bigoted views? No. He's probably my #1 favorite character, but I like him morally gray.

Harry Potter fandom? In 2023? Really?

Yes. While my relationship with Harry Potter has changed over the years and I'm more than willing to acknowledge that the author and some of the content is problematic, it was also a big part of my childhood. I've chosen not to spend money on it anymore or engage with new official content. However, after re-reading the books recently I've found myself with a lot of fanfic inspiration, and that's something I'm totally comfortable with doing since it's for the benefit of the fans rather than JKR.

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readyremus · 2 years

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If only you knew.

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

In between his 6th and 7th year at Hogwarts, Remus meets a muggle girl and the beginnings of a summer romance bloom. That is, until Sirius comes to possibly ruin his bliss.

-DISCLAIMER: I wrote this with absolutely no intention of ever showing it to anyone. It originally had an OC as the reader - an OC written ti be remarkably similar to myself(hence the specificity with the dog name and song choices). But the recent resurgence of my Remus obsession has led me to some very wonderful writers. And in my impatient but dedicated wait for them to upload new content, I've been inspired to post my own. So please. Read at your own risk.

P.S. this was written with multiple parts in mind, most of them unfinished. Whether I post those is up to you.

It’s not creepy, Remus tells himselfs as he peeks through the blinds of his window, hearing the jingle of dog tags approach closer and closer.

She was tangled in the little one’s leash as he ran around frantically, sniffing every damn bush he came across.

“So much energy and it’s only 6 in the morning.” He hears her huff, stumbling along behind the three dogs dragging her to the park.

Like clockwork, he thinks as he pulls on his trousers. She came out every morning around 6 o’clock to walk her dogs to the park, bundled up in a big sweater and those cherry red boots. He admired her consistency, never imagining he could get up that early each day to stroll in the morning chill.

Well, at least before he started doing it every morning himself.

It’s not like I’m stalking her, he assured himself over the cup of coffee he was brewing into a thermos. He added some cream and altogether too much sugar, screwed on the cap and made it quickly out the door with a paperback in his coat pocket. Maybe I’m just becoming a morning person.

The habit began when he couldn’t sleep one night after the full moon. It had been particularly rough - the first he’d gone through this summer without his friends. His mother did her best with his new injuries but the cuts were smarting against his back, sides, and front as he tossed around in bed, making sleep seem like a farther and farther away concept with every sting. He’d decided on a walk to help take his mind off things, and maybe ease the aches etched into his bones.

The walk did no such thing. The wind blasted through the cuts on his face and his joints clanked against the pavement with every step but, after a while, the cold started to make him feel pleasantly numb. He sat on a bench, facing the lake and closed his eyes, feeling the warmth creep onto his face as the sun rose over the mountains. He’d almost drifted off to sleep in the calm of the early morning until he’d heard someone singing down the trail.

She bumbled down the trail behind three dogs, headphones blasting with music so loud he could hear it from ten feet away. He doesn’t think she noticed him at all, striding past with her eyes closed as she sang the chorus.The cadence of the song had immediately imprinted itself into Remus’ mind. She quickly went over the next hill and disappeared, but Remus stayed until he couldn’t hear her lovely voice anymore.

He’d hummed it to himself nonstop for the next three days, driving himself insane trying to find the song before one morning, when he’d heard it through his window again.

It had been another sleepless night and he hadn’t even noticed the sky brightening outside as he lazily scrolled through his computer. But as he peered outside, there she was again. Her little head peeked over the collar of her jacket, hair messily blowing past her face. She had no headphones on this time, allowing the music to play from her phone in her pocket.

“You made me lose my self control...keep a place for me...I’ll sleep between y’all, it’s no thing,” he’d heard a male voice sing, and as soon as she rounded the corner out of his sight, he jumped back onto his laptop and looked up the song.

Self Control by Frank Ocean.

He’d never heard of him - as with most muggle artists. His mum had stuck to listening to old love songs from the 60’s, the latest of her music taste probably being the Beatles. He knew almost every Ricky Nelson song by heart but probably couldn’t tell you who Kanye West was if his life depended on it.

But he’d plugged in his headphones and fell in love. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever heard before - undeniably modern and charmingly offbeat but something about it felt timeless. Maybe it was the sadness in it, the acoustic guitar leading the track, the heartbroken crooning in the background. He’d played the entire album on repeat all day, slowly learning the lyrics to every track. But at the end of each song, he still found himself yearning to hear her voice.

And so he found himself here, bitterly sipping his coffee on the cold bench as he pretended to pay attention to his book.

I must be incredibly bored or totally out of my mind, Remus thought as the biting wind blew past his cheeks and ruffled the pages of his book.

Truly, Remus didn’t quite understand what had drawn him to her so. It was a small town and his home was more on the outskirts than most other houses so he barely got to see other people during the summers, much less pretty girls his age. But he’d never been one to be so obsessive with girls. Being friends with James and Sirius gave him proximity to many eligible and willing students at Hogwarts but he had never found any real interest in dating any of them.

But she strolls past him twice and he’s getting up at the ass crack of dawn just to occupy the same area as her. Godric, if the lads knew about this, I’d never hear the end of -

Just before he’d finished his thought, he saw a little white dog run up to him and hop onto his bench. He smiled before realizing it was THE little white dog, i.e. HER little white dog.

“Uzi!” He looked up, hearing her yell. She was approaching and Remus felt panic rise up his spine. He froze with his book in his hand as she ran up with the two other dogs on leash. The brown one ran up ahead of her and it’s leash went up from behind her legs and tangled, sending her crashing to the ground with a yelp.

“Oh god,” Remus exclaimed, springing into action. He dropped his book and coffee and went to help her. “Are you okay?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed over concerned eyes. He knelt down and put his hands on her shoulders. She was shaking slightly and he could hear her…

Laughing?

He relaxed as she lifted her head back and chuckled into her hand. Remus let himself smile as he pulled himself up, offering her a hand.

“Wow, that’s embarrassing.” She shook her head and pulled her hand from her face, looking up at Remus with her full smile. She took his hand, helping her up. They came face to face - well, perhaps face to chest. He noticed she was quite short. Her smile fell a bit and Remus blinked. He must have been staring.

“Are you okay?” she said through a playful smirk, lifting her hand up a bit. Remus looked down and noticed that his was still attached.

“Ha, yeah, sorry sorry. That was a fantastic stunt, by the way. Very impressive.” He joked, surprising himself at his banter. You laughed again and Remus felt a flutter in his chest.

“Oh, you liked that, did you? I practiced all week.” Remus chuckled with her before the smile suddenly fell off of her face as she looked behind him.

“Oh my god! My dog!” She ran past him, remembering what led her there. He followed behind, watching with amusement as she tried to pry his book from his teeth. “I am so so sorry, I think he’s possessed - hey wait! I love this book!” She looked at the cover lovingly, successfully winning the tug of war. “You like Terry Pratchet?”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “Er - yeah. Well, actually it’s my mum’s. I haven’t really begun reading it.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh fuck, its your mum’s? I - shit! My dog’s drooled all over it! I promise I’ll buy you a new one. Oh no” she fussed, trying to smooth over the cover. Remus smiled and stopped her hands.

“No, it’s fine. Really. It was falling apart anyway.”

“But-”

“Look, I promise she won’t notice.” She didn’t look convinced but she finally released the book and Remus looked at it briefly before putting it back in his coat pocket. I’ll actually have to read this Terry Pratchet person later, he made a mental note to himself.

She spoke again after a short beat of expectant silence. “Well, uh. Sorry again.” She smiled sheepishly and turned to leave before Remus called out to her.

“Wait!” She turned around and Remus scrambled to find something to say, surprising himself again with his boldness. “Uh, I could take one of your dogs.”She tilted her head in confusion. Remus closed his eyes in embarrassment. “I mean - I could help you walk them. If you’re having trouble. Not that you can’t handle your dogs. That’s not what I’m saying. Just - I’ve seen them dragging you around a bit and -”

“I’d love that. Thank you.” She interrupted, saving himself from further trouble with his sentences. She handed him the leash to the little white dog, her face struggling to hold in her amusement. “You can take Uzi.”

He took the leash, smiling down at the excited pup. “Uzi? Like the gun?”

She smiled, beginning to walk. “More like the rapper.” Remus nodded, pretending to understand. Another name to look up, he noted. His homework was piling up.

“Interesting name.” He giggled as the dog ran around his feet, tangling him up with the leash.

“And yours?” she asked, looking up at him.

Remus blushed against her gaze, feeling strangely hesitant to answer. “Remus.”

“Interesting name,” she repeated, smilingly. “I’m Y/N.” She held out her free hand and he shook it, relishing in its warmth.

“Y/N.” he repeated.

“Remus.” she mocked. Their hands lingered before she blushed and looked down, putting her hand back in her pocket. “So, you must be part wolf or something.”

Remus turned to her again in shock. “What?”

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, the corners of her mouth turning up. “You know, like in the Greek myth.”

Remus blinked before visibly relaxing. He chuckled somewhat nervously.

“If only you knew.”

The walk to her house was only occasionally awkward, Remus shocked at his own capacity to maintain conversation with her. She only lived about ten minutes away and despite being pleased at the proximity of their homes, he found himself wishing she had lived across town if it meant they could walk together longer. It had felt easy - something he was not accustomed to in conversations with strangers. Being friends with James and Sirius for nearly four years should’ve taught him something about being more extroverted but he’d struggled to get past small talk with most other people in his classes. Hell, even Peter seemed more personable than he was. But she was confident and funny, their senses of humor complimenting one anothers’ in such a natural way that could almost only be described as fateful. They’d arrived at her front gate, parting with hopes that they’d see each other around. Remus was pretty determined to make sure of it.

He walked into his front door, surprising his dad in the kitchen as he shrugged off his coat. “Gee, Rem. Where did you come from? I thought you were still in bed.”

“Oh, uh...morning walk,” he said, sitting down at the table and setting his book in front of him.

His father squinted at him. “A ‘morning walk’ eh? Did someone hold you at wandpoint?” he joked, chuckling over his cup of coffee.

Remus lightly blushed and rolled his eyes. Oh, it’s much worse, he embarrassingly thought. “Is it really so hard to believe?”

His father glanced down at the book on the table and reached across for it. “The Color of Magic? A fantasy novel, Rem?” His father gave him a curious look. “Very strange indeed.”

It was true. Remus read lots, muggle books included, but always found himself steering away from books about magic, finding it a bit strange written from a muggle’s perspective.

“Someone recommended it to me.”

His dad looked up from the cover, noticing the slight color on Remus’ cheeks. A knowing smirk grew on his face but he said nothing. He moved to get up, getting ready to leave for work before he remembered something.

“Oh, this came for you this morning.” He handed Remus a piece of folded parchment with his name scrawled on the front. Sirius’ handwriting, he thought. He scanned it quickly, mumbling it to himself.

“Oi, dad!” He yelled after his father, halfway out the door. “Sirius is asking if he could come stay here for summer.”

His father pondered it a bit. “All summer?” Remus shrugged in response. His father took a second to think. “Well…I suppose I don’t see why not. But ask your mother first.”

“Ask me what first?” Remus turned to the staircase as his mum descended, dressed for work and carrying her handbag. She kissed her husband goodbye and turned to Remus.

“Well, uh I just got a letter from Sirius,” he began slowly. He knew his mother would be harder to convince, expecting her to fuss about the state of their home or not having enough food. “He’s having some troubles at home and was asking if he could maybe spend the summer here?”

A crease had formed in his mother’s forehead but there was consideration in her eyes. She knew about the Black family and how they treated Sirius. “What about the Potters? Doesn’t he usually go there?”

“Yes but he said the Potters are on vacation so...he has nowhere to go.” he looked at her pleadingly.

His mother sighed before smiling tiredly. “I suppose that’d be alright. Can’t leave Sirius out on the poor street. He’d cause it too much trouble,” she joked. “But you’d better clean up, alright? And make sure he eats when he arrives. He’s starting to look as thin as you.”

Remus smiled sarcastically. “Thanks, mum.”

“Alright, I’m off to work. Bye, sweetie.” She kissed him on the cheek and was barely out the door when a deep voice spoke behind him.

“Well, now that that’s settled.”

Remus jumped and turned around, greeted by the towering figure of his best friend in the kitchen.

“Jesus Christ!” he said, holding his chest.

Sirius smiled, “Nope, just me, Moony. Now where can I put my stuff? I’m famished.”

81 notes · View notes

sorry-i-ship-drarry · 3 years

Text

31. Would you come back to me?

Prompt used- doing a pinky promise. This post have been inspired by one of @drarry-is-my-therapy recent reblog and one of @fqirycircle drawing, which is absolutely amazing. TW- ANGST | HURT/COMFORT | Harry's heart had always belonged to the boy by the lake.

" dad" Albus said as he watched his father cleaning off the used utensils

" yea " harry replied looking over his shoulder to his son sitting behind the kitchen table.

" I- I was talking with mom the other day and she told me something " Albus nervously said

" oh yeah, what'd she tell ?" Harry chuckled

" why you guy's really separated " Albus replied. Harry stopped dead for a moment looking blankly at the utensils until he resumed washing, not replying anything yet.

Once done, harry wiped off his hands over his apron, handing Albus the cold coffee he had just brewed, taking one for himself, he sat down in front of Albus with a curious smile.

" so what'd she tell you ?"

" well- she doesn't want me talking to you about these things but I- think I'm big enough to know these things now, don't you think ?" He nervously asked once again.

" well- albus I think you are " harry gave albus a friendly frown and with that Albus immediately loosened up, giving harry a genuine smile.

" so what did she tell you ?" He asked once again pointing Albus to drink his cold coffee.

" well- she told me- that you guys didn't love each other " Albus said

" I do love your mom Albus-"

" just not the same way, right ?" Albus asked. Biting the inside of his cheek harry deliberated whether he should actually let Albus know or not, until he did, knowing if he were where Albus was, he'd want to know too.

Harry nodded hesitantly.

" but you guys seemed to love each other so much? Like all the things you did, I mean i don't get it how could you just fall out of love you know ?" Albus asked a little irritated by the fact that his parents had actually fallen out of love. Harry is suddenly strongly reminded of a very Vivid situation, the situation he'd been so familiar with.

" Albus- I think what you're trying to say is that we Always cared for each other. We often confuse love with care. At much later part of our marriage, before separation we had almost forgotten what was it like to love each other and simply cared for one another" harry explained.

Albus clenched looking at his father, " so you're saying one day we eventually fall out of love ?"

" what- no- Albus, no that's not what happened- hell " harry immediately responded.

" then what happened ?" Albus aggressively asked

" it's- it's just more complicated than it seems Albus but I want you to know that love is real, alright. Just because your parents didn't work out doesn't mean love cannot exists, look at your uncle Ron and aunt Hermione, I've rarely ever seen love like that and hell I can't even tell you how much time they had spent crushing desperately over each other for years. We're sorry- really for setting such a bad example but we're not perfect, nobody is. It's simply is we couldn't make it work and we regret it " harry sighed pushing his hair back from falling over his face.

Albus shoulder slumped down a bits, staring at the water ring on his coaster absent mindedly.

" just say it albus. Don't keep it in " harry encouraged knowing his son was deliberating about saying something.

Albus looked up at harry strangely, a look he had never looked at him with ever before, " she said- that you- you've never truly loved her. She said even though you loved her but a part of your heart Always belonged to someone else "

And everything stopped. Harry's breath caught in his throat, his hand stilled in the air, even his hair on his forehead became still. He was shook Ginny had told him something like that. It wasn't as if harry wasn't ever prepared for such conversations but the way it had twisted into something, it was unpredictable and he found it hard to focus on one thing.

" is it true dad ? That you loved someone else too ?" Albus contemplated nervously.

Harry looked up at albus, not realising when had he ever leant down and cleared his throat to gain his voice back.

" I never cheated alb-"

" I know. She knows that but she says she knew that you Always have loved Someone else too " Albus bit his lip nervously hoping he hadn't offended harry by saying something so personal.

" i- I never thought she'd actually tell you this" harry eyes widened in surprise as he cleared his throat once again.

" w- I shouldn't have bought this up- this is just-"

" hey hey, it's fine- you said you're big enough to know these things now- well then " harry interjected nervously " she's right. I- my heart as she put it, one part of it has always belonged to someone else " harry sighed closing his eyes, glimpsing back in his memories of that one Particular person.

" oh- who ?" He asked curiously

Harry raised his eyebrows, chuckling nervously, not believing it even for a second that he is infact about have this conversation.

" someone" he finally replied.

And with that harry is brought back into his memories from years ago, that one person's laughter resonating in his head, that one smile which was only reserved for him, that voice which echoed in his head every night, as if it was calling harry to it but just as he reached the bottom, there would be another bottom and he would be stuck. Everyday. And as harry started to finally tell Albus about his first love, he flows into his memory of the last day of 5th year after harry had recently lost Sirius and was extremely vulnerable, around the black lake away from everyone, in just his own little bubble with him.

The lake reflected with the red and yellow light of the dropping sun from across the mountain and a faint breeze drying Harry's face covered with tears. He has someone's arms around his shoulder, cooing him, reminding him one day everything would finally be fine but he didn't had it in him to even understand what he was saying. He was crying, heavily breathing because of the heart clenching pain, the void in his heart which had finally filled had now grown bigger, how was anything ever supposed to be fine..

" we need to end this " harry abruptly said

" what ?" He asked confused by Harry's sudden outrage with something complete nuisance.

" we can't- I can't keep doing this " harry replied numbly

" wha- why not ?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows, feeling slightly hurt by such abysmal suggestion.

" don't you see, I lose everyone one day and I- I can't- I don't want to deliberately lose you " harry replied looking at him.

He frowned " you're not losing me harry-"

" then will I not ?" They had never talked about future, only because it remained so uncertain that they hated the idea of future

" no- you will not " he replied

" and you are absolutely 100 percent sure ? Isn't there a possibility someone would find out about us and it'll spread like a wildfire and everyone would desperately try to separate us !" Harry exclaimed

" okay harry- first calm down. Nobody have found out about us in the last one year, it seems highly unlikely someone would-"

" voldemort knows " and suddenly both of their breaths came to a halt. One word and everything they owned collapsed onto the ground as if it was the fragile chandelier hanging on the top of a broken roof.

" how-"

" he can see in my head. We can't keep doing this-"

" then we fight-"

" I'll fight- can you ?"

And there was silence. He wanted to respond that he would but he didn't trust the world, even if he trusted himself. He hated the world. He was weak, fragile and in a fight against the world, he knew he'd always lose, over and over.

" we are on opposite sides of war. Voldemort's came out. He'll be rebuilding his army. Everything is going to change. Even us" harry tried to explain without wanting to break down. This was the first time harry after sirius had sensibly talked but it was self preservation speaking for him, he couldn't afford to lose someone he really loves, once again. For once he wanted to protect his heart, he couldn't roll it over his sleeves when his sleeves were covered with thorns. It would be a death call and he couldn't give in, just yet.

" you and I- people like us don't belong together. The world will never understand us and this is the first fight we'd lose. I want this but it's going to be difficult. We can't be together as Long as we are on opposite sides-"

"Then I'll be on your side- "

" you are " harry responded giving a weak smile

" but I belong on the other side" he replied looking far ahead over the lake as if the realisation had finally dawned upon him. Something he had always known but had now slapped him right in the face.

"yes " harry replied looking at him, Saving in his memories the last time what he really looked like, his smile, his long lashes, his crooked nose, his pale skin, his tinted cheeks, his soft ears, his soft hair, his storm filled eyes, his pink plumped lips he had kissed so often. Saving it away for one day what it would look like in a pensieve.

" we knew what we were getting into but we took the risk nevertheless. It was a deranged path and we knew it from the beginning " harry softly said clutching other man's fingers with his own.

He didn't reply, he just longingly stared at the waters, as if he was remembering them not harry.

" so we give up ?" He finally asked turning to harry with unseen part of his face wet with tears. Harry reached forward wiping away his tear but they didn't stop, they only flooded more with Harry's touch.

" no, we- we promise to come back once again after all this is over" harry smiled softly.

" and you believe there will be coming back after all ? What if one of us- dies " he hesitated In fear of only imagining it.

Harry started at him knowing it was one of the possibilities but wasn't ready for such thing. It was a huge possibility that one day harry might lose " I have hope for us " harry suddenly spoke out loud. The thoughts In his mind had unknowningly reached his lips and there wasn't a going back from that.

The other man stared at harry long enough, he too concealing this part of him for that one day they'd meet again.

" promise me then if we make it through, we'll come back to each other " he asked, his voice sounding not more than a quivering sound.

" I promise that If I make it through one day, we'll meet again and come back to each other" harry replied

" pinky promise ?" He smiled.

Harry chuckled, then nodded

" do you promise ?"

" I promise "

" what happened then ? How'd you wind up with mom ?" Albus asked curiously, a faint yellow light from the evening bouncing over his brunette head.

" did he- die ?" Albus asked almost heart broken

" what- no " harry chuckled

" then what happened ?" Albus asked again

" he- broke the promise. We belonged to someone else much before we could've even belonged to each other. When I met him after the war and his probation, he had changed completely " harry replied reminiscing about the specific day

" then didn't you ever ask him again ?" Albus asked almost jumping off his chair.

Harry gave a small smile " I couldn't "

" but why- what if he had still loved you ?" Albus asked

" as I said he was completely changed. He wasn't the man I fell in love with. He never asked either. It died out over time. Besides I'm pretty sure he had already forgotten about it. Also I think he was engaged by the time we met again, it didn't make sense" harry replied

" then didn't you ever like try to stop his wedding like In those romantic comedies mum watches ?" Albus asked excitedly

Harry laughed picking up their glasses and going over to the sink " she's always loved them. You've got to stop watching them if that's what you're cooking in your head Albus. Real love Is different than what they show, it's not just one fight and making it up. Its so much efforts, fights, pain, drama and so many other things"

" but If it's the right person, it'd never feel like that would it ? If you really love someone then those fights wouldn't be so bad or there wouldn't be pain or drama. It'd be a happy relationship, wouldn't it ?" And in that small sentence albus has unknowningly managed to define true love.

Harry looked at his now grown up son, crossing his arms smiling impressively. And nodded.

Albus sighed in relief, slumping down in his chair. Harry quizzically analysed Albus until his expressions changed to sometimes brief.

" who is it?" Harry asked knowingly

" what?" Albus blushed

" who's this person you're suddenly relating everything to ?" Harry teased poking Albus Playfully.

" there is no one dad" Albus blushed embarassed, jumping off the chair, taking a few steps back.

" come on- I told you my story. I atleast deserve to know who it is " harry smirked crossing his arms in front of him

Albus sighed rolling his eyes" he's from school"

" ooh, someone from school. Like father like son" harry teased

" dadd " Albus whined blushing

" okay- fine, fine. Who is it then ?" Harry asked giving up with the teasing.

" it doesn't matter, he doesn't like me " Albus sighed crossing his arms in front of him in disappointment.

Harry carefully analysed Albus's face again, remembering exactly the same way he felt "it's the Malfoy kid, isn't it ?"

Albus's eyes suddenly shot up in surprise.

" how did you-"

" you're my son. Of course I'd know" harry sighed uncrossing his arms and stepping forward and placing them in the kitchen table, leaning forward.

" don't make the same mistakes I did. Ask him out. Write to him maybe. I'm sure he'd agree " harry suggested.

" mistake ? What mistake did you make ?" Albus asked curiously.

Harry gave him a firm smile before he putting his hands away from the table to his sides " it's a story for some other day, your mom is gonna be here to pick you up in an hour. Do your stuff and we'll talk about it next week? What say ?"

Albus frowned before letting go and nodding.

" one last question dad "

" shoot" harry said as he started washing those used cups again

" did you ever love mom as much as you loved that someone ?"

Harry smiled this time not stopping " I- love like that happened only once. I loved your mom a different way. I loved him a different way "

" but who'd you love more then?"

Harry turned around to see Albus standing there leaning over the kitchen table curiously " I will not answer that. Now enough with my love life. Go do your homework " harry said a little sternly in his father like adamant voice.

Sighing Albus gave up.

" okay, just one question, I promise " Albus plead again. Harry sighed before nodding.

" if now he came back in your life and asks you for a second chance, would you go back to him ?"

Harry smiled Shaking his head" yes- yes I would "

The next week when Albus came back for the stay, he seemed far excited than anything else. As soon as Ginny had left, Albus squealed.

" whoa there squirrel, what's got your knickers in a twist ?" Harry chuckled

" I've got an invitation. Can we please go to scropius's place. He offered for a while. I'll promise we can come back and do homework, he really wants me to see his collections. Can we please dad, please ?" Albus gave harry his puppy eyes in desperation..

Harry sighed before nodding.

" for an hour.. "

And with that after an hour, they flooed to scropius's place. The Malfoy manor.

They were recieved with a rather very pleasant place. It was no longer a dark, submerged place, it had been refurbished with mostly white and brown. It seemed like an entirely new place. Not one part of Malfoy manor looked like what it did ages ago ,and yet harry liked it better. It was welcoming. And just then he walked in, with scropius.

" potter "

" Malfoy" harry sternly nodded at Draco, losing himself again in that brief reminiscents of the past. He hadn't changed even a little bit as he remembered him from the day by the lake, yet everything had changed. Everything.

" we're gonna go " Albus didn't even wait and ran off with scropius, leaving harry and draco alone, both staring at each other thinking how the other had forgotten of the promise..

( I've really been writing shit lately. Anyways hope you liked this one, I'd been very excited for this one but It haven't turned out as good as I wanted to, so .. )

Requests open

Part 2 & 3

Day 30- scared, potter | Day 32- reasons not to be in love with Draco malfoy by Harry

172 notes · View notes

fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

I've been having a lot of migraines recently, could you maybe write something (ideally coops,but I'll accept o'knutzy) about one of them having a migraine and needibg dark/quiet and pain meds?

I’m so sorry to hear about your migraines! While I have never experienced them, several of my friends have and it is such a difficult thing to deal with. Sending big love your way, and please take care of yourself <3 Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for migraine headaches, mild nausea, light/ sound/ touch sensitivity, and medication

“Baby?”

Sirius winced at the soft knock on the door and Remus’ whisper; even the smallest sounds made more throbbing pain spread toward the base of his neck. He shoved his face further into the pillow with a groan of acknowledgment.

“Oh, love,” Remus murmured. The side of the bed dipped as he sat down and Sirius scooted over to press against his thigh. The room was as dark as it could get, but the few bits of daylight that seeped through curtain cracks made his eyes speckle with spots if he looked up. A gentle hand settled on his lower back and moved in slow circles. “I brought up some water and Tylenol.”

“Tylenol?” He winced at the gravel tone of his own voice rumbling in his head. “Ow.”

Remus made a sympathetic noise. “Do you want to try eating something?”

The mere thought of food made Sirius’ stomach lurch and he tucked his arms under the pillow with a low sound of distress.

“What level are we at?” Remus kept his voice quiet and even; if he thought he would be able to do it without dissolving into a puddle of pain, Sirius would have kissed him for his efforts.

“Mmm. Seven.”

“Better than earlier?”

“Mhmm. Tylenol?” He rolled onto his side, grimacing at the pinpricks of light. A cool hand rested on his forehead and he flinched slightly.

“Sorry.” Remus’ palm disappeared and he pressed two small pills into Sirius’ hand. “No fever is a good sign. Water.”

“I can swallow it dry.”

“You need to hydrate.” He heard a sigh, but kept his eyes closed. “Come on, honey, don’t fight me on this one. You’ll feel better if you drink something.”

“Don’t want to.”

“Your risk of choking on those is higher when you’re sick.” The cold glass against his fingers was insistent, but still gentle enough that it didn’t trigger his sensitivity too much. “Water.”

Sirius propped himself up on one elbow with a scowl and finished the glass with a dozen small sips, then settled back onto his front. “Why are you smart?”

“Because I want you to feel better.”

The mattress shifted a bit as Remus laid down next to him, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. “I wish I could cuddle you,” Sirius said miserably, shuffling around until their elbows touched.

Remus laughed ruefully under his breath. “I wish you weren’t hurting. Soon, though.”

“It’s been three months since the last one,” Sirius grumbled. “I was doing so good.”

“You were, but you’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and our jobs kind of tick all the boxes for common causes.”

Sirius frowned and turned his head to face Remus, though he didn’t open his eyes. “Have you been doing research?”

“I have six bookmarks on my computer on migraines, yes.”

“For me?” His heart warmed at Remus’ huff of disbelief.

“I’m your fiancé!”

“Still. That’s cute.” There was a long pause as Sirius let the warmth spread to his fingers and toes; Remus’ hand moved steadily through out-of-place curls, giving contact without actually touching his skin. “You don’t have to stay, y’know.”

“I want to.”

“You’ve got better things to do than babysit me.”

“It’s not babysitting, it’s a sleepover. I get to lay here and braid your hair. Want to gossip a little?”

That startled a laugh out of Sirius, even if it made his head pound for a full three seconds. “Yes, I would love to gossip with you. Silently.”

“Works for me.” They settled into an easy quiet, breathing in tandem as Sirius let the waves roll over him. The Tylenol kicked in after a few more minutes—he audibly sighed when the pain dulled and felt about ten different muscles relax. In and out, he reminded himself. He was so unbelievably tired. In and out.

When he woke three hours later, Remus was fast asleep next to him. Their elbows still touched over the covers.

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krethes · 2 years

Text

Thanks, @theresthesnitch, I've actually been wanting to do this for a while but wasn't as brave as you to just DO it. :D

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have fewer than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some people to take part.

From most recent(ly updated) to oldest!

1. Floozy: Freshers season! Going to check out the fresh meat! Who's with me?

from: Did You Miss Me? (Rated E) [textfic/narrative, wolfstar/jily/other, mixed POV]

2. Down, the softest feathers, plush under his head as he pants on the pillows.

from Evolve on a Word (Rated E) [smutty wolfstar drabbles]

3. He's fourteen when he realizes.

from The Valentine Moon (Rated T) [valentine's day full moon 4th year, remus POV]

4. For skin roughened by years of brutality, this spot is a hidden treasure.

from When the Tide is Sinking (Rated E) [smutty wolfstar drabbles]

5. Goosebumps shatter across his skin, like watching a storm come in over the lake, raising fine, golden-brown hairs.

from When the Mountain's Rising (Rated E) [sirius waits for remus, bound - sirius POV]

6. It's early, just past dawn and the camp wakes up in stages.

from Drover (Rated M) [wild west wolfstar, sirius POV]

7. Pale eyes like snowdrifts, glacial fractals pin me to my chair, unyielding.

from Toujours Pur - Poems (Rated T) [various poem about the Black daughters]

8. She is fire.

from Hell and High Water (Rated T) [wild west pansy x susan, alternating POV]

9. The Ballroom was not what it once was.

from Hubris (Rated T) [new year's resolutions at malfoy manor, lucius POV]

10. Moonrise is near.

from Thirteen Seasons (Rated M) [seasonal wolfstar-esque drabbles, mixed POV]

11. It's just an audition.

from Quintuple Meter (Rated E) [classical musicians au, sirius POV]

12. The medallion resting against his sternum vibrates, a silent, insistent push against the leather, and Remus opens his eyes.

from Silver for Monsters (Rated E) [wolfstar!witcherverse, remus POV]

13. He grew up surrounded by silver, green, and black.

from Aureate (Rated T) [alliteration about adoration, sirius POV]

14. It’s reckless.

from Moonfever (Rated E) [first war full moon smut, sirius POV]

15. It's funny, Sirius thinks, how familiar the mechanics of this feel.

from Dominus (Rated E) [Dom!remus/sub!sirius, sirius POV]

16. Sitting in a two-stall box with the door shut and lit only by candlelight, flickering and haunting, he waits.

from White Collar (Rated M) [priestkink!remus drabble, remus POV]

17. The days they spend together pass as tiny, beautiful miracles.

from The Violence (Rated M) [first war wolfstar angst/remus big mad POV]

18. Remus went to sleep with a pale arm slung over his stomach and a slender ankle hooked around the back of his knee, like always, but he wakes up alone and...hot.

from Heatwave (Rated E) [dilf!wolfstar pwp remus POV]

19. Dorcas can’t remember a time when she wasn’t in love with her.

from Shut Up and Dance With Me (Rated T) [dorlene feelings-admission, dorcas POV]

20. Remus had never wanted for anything before.

from Hunger (Rated T) [drabbles about Remus, remus POV]

Casually tagging @de-sire-blog, @sketchyblondes, @fvckyouimaprophet, @elder-millennial-trash, and @signifiquint. As always, no pressure. :D

#first line game #tag game #my fics #wolfstar #dorlene #pansy x susan #mlm #wlw #we love everyone #lucius malfoy #yes even him #narcissa malfoy #bellatrix black #the black sisters #all of them #andromeda black

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yeats-infection · 3 years

Note

whichever of your fics I've read last becomes my favourite, I'm a bit obsessed, but I've recently reread Abacomancy so the scene that comes to mind immediately is Remus ruminating on Sirius' soul - "How many times had he reached himself for a kiss in the darkness" !

Also the ending of Saint Rose and the Thorns with the concert hall and the subsequent hospital scene - the realisation of how dire things have got for Graeme. So much of that story is on a constant loop in my mind. I'm so looking forward to reading more about G&L someday!

as an addition to my previous message about Abacomancy/Saint Rose - Montclair biting Devon! "All the screaming basically precluding the need for any music ever to exist again." God.

thank you my friend! i actually just also reread abacomancy for the first time in forever and i do think it holds up, especially that section!

so the events of chapter 8 of sr&t were pretty much the first fully actualized ideas i had about the story. i started writing that chapter in may 2020 based on ideas that had started coming together in spring 2019... and then basically came back and finished the rest of the story around it in january-february 2021. the big trashing the hospital room scene is 100% inspired by the girl band song "prefab castle." i have no idea what dara is singing but it's a pretty visually evocative song regardless... and like a lot of girl band songs it kind of feels like going through these stages of psychic meltdown... there's that incredible manic section in the middle that just keeps building and then breaks into this arrhythmic section which is both bliss and terror... and then the outro is like a resignation, stumbling forward... the scene was like my imaginative visual interpretation of the song, sitting on the subway listening to it on repeat and SEEING graeme in his hospital gown freaking out... then i basically just had to write it down! which i did in a single day while i should have been working.

also i've said this before but i do feel that doom town is perhaps the technical best thing i've ever written and is definitely one of my favorites of my stories. it means a lot to me whenever i hear that parts of it have stuck with people because it has always stuck with me too :) thank you so much again!!

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wreckofawriter · 4 years

Text

~Part 1~ ~Part 2~

Parings: Sirius Black x Reader, Regulus Black x reader, Remus Lupin x Reader, James Potter x Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Mentions of blood, fist fight, crude language

Summary: Everyone is lost in the world as the man soon to be called the Dark Lord rises to power. Your parents are already ready to give their life along with your own for this man. You spend your seventh year in Hogwarts being pulled apart by the expectations for you and the hope placed in you by your childhood friend Sirius and his closest companions.

A/n: I'm not a huge fan of this chapter, but here goes anyway. Sorry for inactivity, I've been struggling to focus. I hope you guys enjoy!

~▪︎~▪︎~▪︎~▪︎~▪︎~▪︎~▪︎~▪︎~▪︎~▪︎

James Potter was simply exhausting. His voice rang in your ears unpleasantly and each time he threw his arm around your shoulder you had to resist punching him in the nose. Unfortunately, there was no escape. The moment he heard you had accepted Dumbledore's offer he had taken the liberty of being your personal owl. Every bit of information you were given about the Order was passed to you through him. His preppy attitude became tiresome quickly and it didn’t take long for you to picture yourself breaking his glasses with your knuckles every time he appeared in front of you.

You knew it was really jealousy eating you alive not anger but the hatred remained the same. You had never much liked the head boy. He was privileged in a way no other was. You had the money he had but you got the pain that came with it. His full childhood and easy life made your blood turn green with envy.

He didn’t seem to catch on.

“You should come to my quidditch game on Sunday.” James mused beside you his arm rested on your head.

The thin thread of your sanity had been torn apart by worries and anxieties. You couldn’t seem to think straight recently as strange dreams you couldn’t quite remember ravaged your mind. You felt like you were thrust into a poisonous haze.

“It would be really fun,” He continued not noticing your unstable state of mind, “You could see what a badass I am on the pitch.” The wink he threw at you made all that uncomfortable envy you had been holding spill out in front of you. How dare he flirt with you while you were thinking about your very plausible death?

You stepped away from him fast enough to make him stumble, your books drawn to your chest, “Do you have anything related to the Order to speak to me about?” You spat.

James suddenly noticed the anger you exhibited, his doe eyes blowing wide for a small moment. He reached for his glasses fidgeting with them for a moment, “Only one thing.”

“Then say it.” You muttered.

James didn’t argue, “Dumbldeore wants you at the meeting tonight. No else one but Remus, Peter, Sirius and I know.”

“What time?”

“Midnight. You know where.”

You nodded curtly turning to leave. You stopped in your tracks turning back towards the curly-haired boy, “Just because I’m friends with Sirius doesn’t mean I’m friends with you.”

James felt his face crumble, you didn’t speak another word to him disappearing from his view as you headed towards your class.

Remus watched as you chewed on your nails, their polish chipped and uneven, “Are you alright?” he whispered.

You froze for a moment, “Oh I'm fine, just a bit nervous.”

He nodded, taking you half-assed answer and going back to side-eyeing you skeptically. A few minutes passed and you only continued to look worse and worse, your face seeming to pale as seconds ticked by.

Remus sighed, “Look if you’re worried about the meeting tonight, you’ll be fine. You’ve got James, Sirius and I at your side. Not to mention Dumbledore.”

“It’s not that.” You mumbled, “Look I’m fine okay, just…” your sentence trailed into nothing and Remus didn’t want to pry. So instead he watched you suffer, not sure what had you biting your lip raw but wishing he could help you.

You knew he would be waiting for you. He always was on Fridays, then the two of you would walk back to the dungeons for your little gathering with psychopaths and killers.

Regulus had his back pressed against the wall next to your classroom, his hands were stuffed into his pockets, eyes on the ground.

“Hey, Reg.” You grinned watching as he looked up to find you.

His smile was soft as he approached you, not even asking as he swept the books from your hands.

“I can carry them myself.” you huffed.

“I know.” He shrugged, “Doesn’t mean you have to.”

You felt a smile twitch on your lips, “You’re such a gentleman Reg! How do you not have a girlfriend?”

His face erupted with color, “Anyway. The meeting is canceled today.”

The rush of relief that you felt kept you from picking up the intentional switch of conversation. You felt suddenly at peace, the world had stilled. You felt comforted and safe like you had been laid down onto clean bed sheets.

“Oh.” You tried to remain stoic.

Regulus nodded, his eyes flickering around you, almost as if he was scared. You frowned but spoke nothing of it. The air was suddenly tense, the strange electricity of it almost startling you.

Regulus cleared his throat before speaking, “Actually y/n, I was wondering if you wanted to go on a walk with me?”

You scrunched your brows, “A walk?”

“Y-yeah, I heard it was supposed to be super pretty out with all the snow and everything.” He explained, “If you don’t want to it’s fine.” he added quickly afterwards.

You shrugged, “Why not? Sounds fun. I haven’t been out in a while.”

You felt a swell of joy watching his face blossom into a wide smile, his face seemed rosy with happiness. You momentarily forgot that he was your enemy, that he was on your opposing side. At that moment he was just Regulus. Adorable, smiling, happy Regulus.

“Great.” He spoke but you hardly heard him over the sudden admiration which took root in your stomach.

You giggled feeling light on your feet, “You’re so cute Reggy.” you cooed before disappearing into your common room.

Regulus almost dropped your books, his cheeks gleaming red.

It was beautiful out. You had never been one for cold weather but the soft blanket of snow which coated the castle and its ground made you reconsider. The sun was casting small shadows around you, it’s gleam turning the snow into rainbow glitter. You marveled at your surroundings, feet shuffling through the fluffy snow as you walked beside Regulus.

“It’s gorgeous.” You mumbled eyes flirting around the vast desert of white.

Regulus hummed in agreement, his gaze dancing between you and his feet.

You set out towards the lake, a few third years attempting to skate atop it, “This was a really good idea Reg.” you said bumping his shoulder with your own.

“Thanks.” He responded sheepishly, “How are your classes going?”

“I’m so bad at Transfiguration it's a miracle I'm passing.” You groaned, “How about you?”

He shrugged, “FIne, a bit more work than last year but it's not too much.”

You sighed, “You are way too smart for your own good, I think you took all of your brother’s brain cells.”

Regulus laughed, breath coming out in puffs in the cool air.

“I swear he is an idiot. I mean he slept with Pearl and then I had to deal with it. Can you believe that? Pearl. The kindest person alive.” You complained, lips pulling into a pout.

“What is your relationship with Sirius anyway?” the dark-haired boy asked suddenly.

You tilted your head slightly, “What do you mean?”

He looked away from you, “After everything he did you’re still friends with him, I just don’t get it.”

You felt your lips twitch downwards, “I’ve known him forever. I can’t just throw him out.”

“I could. I was his brother and I could.” Regulus spoke bitterly.

You felt your chest clench, “Don’t say that. He’s still your brother.”

He sighed, “You need to look at the future. After school, Sirius isn’t going to be part of your life anymore. I think you need to accept that.”

You stopped. A cold wind blew your hair from your face, the atmosphere was stiff. “Don’t tell me who will and won’t be in my life.” You stated plainly, “I will decide that.”

Regulus had turned back to look at you, his larger form guarding you from the wind which had suddenly picked up. “You’re right.” He said, “But it's something you need to think about.”

No matter how much you wished he was wrong, he knew he wasn’t. Your life was split in two, the straight path your parents had paved for you suddenly forked away. You were standing just before them, unsure which way you should walk. You needed to make a decision, you couldn’t linger too long and risk losing both options.

You straighten your shoulder, “I know.”

Regulus nodded and you both began to walk leaving the strange tension behind.

“Hows quidditch? You guys still practicing in the weather?” you spoke, the switch of conversation fast.

“We’re still practicing, I like it though.” He uttered, “It’s really fun.”

You hummed, “Well that’s good.”

Regulus paused for a moment, “I know you’re not big on quidditch but I was actually wondering if you would go to my match on Sunday.”

Your thoughts flashed to James that morning, “I don’t know, I mean-”

“You don’t have to.” He cut you off, “I just thought it would be nice to have you there.”

The gentle smile on his lips as he spoke of you broke the small walls you had built, “I’ll go.”

His grin widened, “Really?”

“From what I’ve heard you're pretty good,” You smirked, “You better win.” Just as you finished your sentence something cold and wet hit the back of your head, you shrieked as the snow melted down your back turning swiftly to see Sirius standing a few dozen meters away. It was clear he was cackling, his form doubled over in laughter.

“You bitch!” You hollered running towards him, hands scooping up some of the snow as you neared him. His laughter was cut off as you nailed him in the chin, snow spraying over his face. His eyes went wide and you giggled reaching for more snow. Before you could act he was lunging at you, body colliding with you as you hit the powder with a thump. Snow splayed around you, some landing on your face and beginning to melt. You attempted to move only to realize Sirius had pinned you to the ground.

“I win.” He grinned down at you, his hair speckled with white.

You frowned, “You cheated.”

“You’re just a sore loser,” he argued standing up and offering you a hand which you took.

You shook your head, “Shut up cheater.”

Your mind wandered back to the younger black brother quickly. You turned to find that he had disappeared, the only evidence of his presence the footprints he had left behind. For some reason the lonely prints made your heart squeeze uncomfortably in your chest.

Midnight came in minutes. It seemed like each time you blinked an hour had past and the sun had disappeared before you could even reminisce about its glow. The stars were hidden by deep grey clouds that night. Snow had begun to fall heavily as you made your way towards the room of requirement. The windows were iced delicately by jack frost as slopes of white hid in their sills. You held your robes close to your chest heart-thumping recklessly within. The empty corridors were cold as if you had walked through a ghost.

You climbed the stairs of the dungeon and beyond, the portraits murmuring and snoring around you. You felt yourself wishing for someone at your side. You missed Regulus’ comforting presence, his footprints still causing a small ache within you.

The seventh floor was just as dead as the rest of the castle, its silence deafening in your ears as snowflakes pelted the windows around you. You paced slowly, your heartbeat growing louder and louder with each echoing step. You continued to think of the secret meeting room, James’s advice ringing in your ears.

The stone began to move in an instant, a door appearing before you. It handle a rusted gold. You reached forward sucking in a breath and pushing the old oak open, its hinges creaked and you were bathed in a warm light. A dozen sets of eyes locked on you.

“Ah y/n, you’re here.”

You nodded stiffly, eyes flirting from your professor back to the faces of your peers. There was not a single green robe among them, red overpowering everything else. You gulped at the looks of disgust you received, lips turned into grimaces, and eyes narrowed or blown wide in surprise.

You searched desperately for Sirius, but his grey eyes were not among the crowd. Neither was the soft hazel of Remus. Even James’ deep brown was missing. You felt your hands begin to shake, stuffing them into your pocket before anyone could notice.

A blonde in red was the first to speak, standing from her chair she advanced towards you, fire in her gaze, “What the hell are you doing here you fucking death eater?”

You felt like you lost oxygen, you were there to help, didn’t she know that? Suddenly there was an arm around your shoulder.

You glanced up to see Sirius, his eyes narrowed at the girl in front of you. Remus fell to your other side, arms crossed lazily. James stood just behind you, a soft pat on your back telling you. Peter stood to Remus’ right.

“She’s here at great personal risk, not that it's any of your business Mckinnon,” Sirius spoke, his voice strong and unwavering as he stared down the glaring girl.

“She’s a purist.” The blonde hissed, “She’s a murder. She can’t be here.”

You stiffened, “I’m not a purist.” you spoke, relieved your voice wasn’t shaking, “And I sure as hell never killed anyone.”

Suddenly a Ravenclaw lept from her seat. She shouldered past Marleen and lunged at you, “Lair!” she shrieked.

You stumbled as she collided with you, hitting James and toppling over. The girl reached for your hair and tugged on it as her other hand scratched at your face. A nail digging into your skin as yells broke out around you. Sirius tackled the girl holding her to the ground as Dumbledore swiftly stepped between you.

“Your parents killed my brother you bitch! They are filthy murderers just like you!” her voice ringing loud in your ears you felt blood drip into your left eye, the world spinning in red as you tried to recall what had just happened.

“Murdering whore, fucking cunt!”

“Shut up!” Sirius hollard, his hand slamming roughly over her mouth and muffeling the cusses she threw at you.

You sat up attempting to wipe the blood from your face. You could see James beside you on the floor, his attempt to catch you only gaining him an awkward fall. Remus bent down to your level,

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice seemed far away like he was deep underwater.

Your hand went to cradle the back of your head and you winced, “My head hurts,” you mumbled.

Remus cringed, “You might have a minor concussion. You hit your head pretty hard.”

You could hear more yelling, you felt your senses slowly coming back to you like someone had wiped the fog from your vision.

“Y/n/n, can you follow my finger?” Remus asked and you nodded. His finger lined in front of your head, you followed it back and forth before the brunette was satisfied.

“I think I’ve got blood on my face.” You mumbled, each time you swiped your hand across your forehead it came back red.

“You definitely do, that girl scratched the hell out of you.” Remus leaned forward, his hand coming on contact with the fresh cut and you hissed.

You heard voices behind you

“We can’t trust her!”

“She’s giving up more than you could imagine to be here! To help us!”

“Except she’s not!”

“She’s lying! She is going to ruin us!”

Your head ached with each word the blood wasn't stopping, more and more dripping from the long cut in your forehead. You scrubbed at your eyes everything was going wrong. You were going to be thrown out, you were going to have your choice made for you. Again. The small amount of control you had gained in your life would be ripped from you. You pushed Remus away from you getting to your feet, stars blinking in your vision as the blood rushed to your head.

Suddenly you couldn’t breathe, the air stolen from your lungs, you gapped helplessly grasping at your stomach. You glanced up in time to see the boy who had punched you. His second stroke landed on your cheek before you could raise your hands and you hit the ground with a loud thud.

“That’s for my mother you bitch.” He spat.

Your body collided with the floor in slow motion and Sirius’s vision went red. The Yellow robed boy standing over you with a triumphant smile making his blood run cold. He was across the room in record time, his fist connecting with the side of the boy’s face with a yell. Teeth and blood sprayed from his mouth and he fell to the floor. Sirius was on top of him in an instant landing four more punches on the unconscious student.

James lept into action snatching the dark-haired boy by the waist and tackling him off the other boy. Sirius fought him yelling incoherent sentences as he tried to shove the quidditch star away from him.

“Pads! Calm down!”

“He fucking hit her! He hit her twice, get the fuck off me, I’m going to make him pay.” Just as he finished his sentence his eyes got droopy, his head falling limp as the struggle stopped.

Lily stood next to him, her wand pointed at the sleeping boy.

James looked around, the daze of what had happened settling in uncomfortably. Three bodies lay on the floor, each leaking blood onto the carpet of the large room. The students turned to Dumbledore whose eyes were uncharacteristically wide.

“I think it's time I explain some things.” He muttered.

You stood motionlessly in front of the painting. Its colors seemed dulled and greyed. Your father stood behind the chair where your mother was seated, both wearing blank stares. You sat beside your mother, face chubby with baby fat, hair cut at your shoulders. Your hands were bandaged in white. The living room reeked of something you couldn’t quite place. The smell making you gag on the air around you. You could feel yourself slipping into some strange obscurity of the world. The scent suddenly became clear. Copper invaded your nose as you choked on blood. Crimson bled from the painting dripping down the expensive wallpaper and pooling on the hardwood floor. You hoped it wouldn’t reach the rug as you rushed to clean the mess before your mother saw. The blood didn’t stop as you scrambled to soak it up with your clothes, the white gown you wore stained with the liquid. Suddenly your hands feel through nothing and you were plunged into a pool of warm red.

You woke suddenly. Eyes popping open to stare at the white ceiling above you. The room was dark, your eyes slowly adapting to the lack of lighting. You sat up slowly, an ache in your stomach making you hiss. You glanced around you, eyes landing on a mop of black of hair which rested on your bed. Sirius was seated in a chair beside your bed, his head resting on his arms which were folded in front of him. You felt a smile twitch on your lips as he snored softly.

Your cheek felt numb and puffed, you raised your hand to it and yelped as a sharp pain shot through you.

Sirius bolted upright, “Are you okay?” He asked his voice gravelly with sleep.

“I’m fine Siri.” You mumbled eyes landing on the white bandages which wrapped his knuckles. You sighed taking his hands into your own, thumb running over the stark white. “What did you do?”

Sirius wouldn’t meet your eyes, “He punched you. Twice.”

“How many times did you punch him?” you huffed.

The room stayed silent, you looked up at Sirius to see his eyes locked on your intertwined hands. He hesitated for a moment more.

“Five times. James pulled me off him.”

“I’ll thank him tomorrow.” You murmured, “I’m tired.”

“Me too.”

You began to move, Sirius watched as you pushed yourself to one side of the small hospital bed, “You’re not sleeping in that chair idiot. The last thing I need is you bitching about your back.”

Sirius smiled, slipping off his shoes and crawling next to you. He could feel your thigh brushing against his as you shifted to face him. His eyes widened when he saw the gloss of your eyes.

“Why couldn’t it just be easy?’ You whimpered, “I just wanted something to work out for once. I can’t even do the right thing without getting punched.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say, his words caught in his throat as you looked up at him, a tear melting down your cheek. Sirius let the words he wanted to speak die and instead wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

God how he wishes things were easy.

Taglist:

@accio-rogers @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @songforhema @wangmangagavroche @evyiione @atomicpunkrock @fairywriter-oracle @moon-zodiac @willowyreads @approved-by-dentists @itslilithsstuff @captainshazamerica @findzelda @oldspirit @smiithys @raised-by-fandoms @lotties-journey-abroad @teheharrypotter

Masterlist

166 notes · View notes

hiredhorse · 4 years

Note

Sirry prompt: Harry ressurects sirius with blood magic post ootp and they live together in peace. I've been listening to Hozier recently (specifically 'like real people do' and 'work song') and thats just big sirry energy to me :)

Holy four-letter-word, anon, I am deeply in love with you.

The soundtrack you gave me is fueling a huge project for which I have absolutely no time but, nonetheless, a sudden furious energy. In short I don’t know when there will ever be more, but because I feel like I can’t go another month without expressly responding to your ask, here’s the first chapter:

Now.

Sirius was slumped over the table in the kitchen, the room where he’d more or less set up camp the past week. He barely left it for the other parts of the house except for when he felt desperate to look out a window. It was a little better than being penned in his room. He’d thought of getting out of Azkaban as coming back to life, and when they’d made him go to the house that time, his old room had seemed like the best option. It made him feel like a teenager. It reminded him of his friends. And though the deepest sorrow of his life was tangled up with James and Lily and Peter, all the joy he’d ever known was there, too, inseparable.

But now that he’d been truly resurrected, and somehow was trapped here again, the last thing he could stand was thinking of James. Not that it could be avoided, with his son —

The Floo chimed and Sirius stood up from the bench, his heart racing even though he’d been expecting Remus, stepping out onto the hearth then just looking at Remus. Harry came through behind him, stumbling up against Remus’ shoulder. Remus turned slightly toward him with a reflexive smile.

“Harry,” he said lowly, “like I said, I’d like to speak to Sirius alone.”

Sirius looked at Harry and then was torn between the urge to look anywhere else or to stare at him forever. Everything about Harry, now, was a wave of commingled delight and horror for Sirius. His shoulders, skinny but suddenly broad enough to stretch out the shoulders of Dudley’s old hand-me-down t-shirt, which was pulled loose around the collar, flashing a prominent clavicle. The belt bunching the waist of his too-large jeans tight around a narrow waist that Sirius wanted to pull loose for a dozen reasons, among them the desire to replace Harry’s every article of clothing with the sort of fine, tailored stuff his posh dad had liked and also to cinch Harry’s wrists together over his head and…

Sirius blinked. He looked at Remus. Remus was staring back with an expression of naked rage, like he’d read each and every one of Sirius’ thoughts. It startled Sirius. He’d never known Remus to get angry, truly, even when he should be.

“I’ll just be…” Harry gestured vaguely toward the door, sidling toward it as though he wasn’t willing to turn his back on them. “Will you two…?”

“We’re only going to talk,” Remus promised softly, but even though he was speaking to Harry, his voice had an undertone of danger that made Sirius want to flatten his ears and growl.

Harry was frozen with his hand on the door. Sirius looked at him and smiled. Reassuring. He didn’t have to look at Remus to know how this was fanning the flames; he half-expected his oldest living friend to combust in Fiend Fire. But he just looked at Harry, trying to radiate good feelings while fighting the urge to crawl out of his skin, to be a dog and cower or run or raise his hackles and fight.

Harry swallowed, throat bobbing, managed a shaky answering smile and slipped out the door.

“You piece of shite,” Remus said as soon as the door closed. He took a step toward Sirius, which brought him down off the hearth at last. His footstep seemed to echo in the room; Sirius winced at the sound. “You worthless, cowardly — “

Sirius cut him off, eyes narrowing, “It isn’t like I did the ritual, Moony!”

“Don’t call me that.”

They stared at each other. Remus took a step again, this time sideways, his head lowered. Then another. One at a time, slow and deliberate, like he was stalking something he wanted to kill on the first try. Unthinking, as Remus moved, Sirius did too, so the table stayed between them.

“I know how you are. You’ve already looked everything up, right? You know more about the spell than I ever will? Well, then you know I couldn’t hurt him. I couldn’t do anything he didn’t want…”

“It’s not right,” Remus bit out. “Don’t try to justify it. It’s sick and it’s unforgivable, and I should do him a favor and…” His shoulders went tight, and Sirius realized what was going to happen a moment before it did. Remus leapt onto the table and then back to the floor in two inhuman bounds, putting him face to face with Sirius, his wand suddenly in his hand.

Sirius didn’t draw in return. He did reach out on reflex and grasped Remus by the forearm. Remus’ pupils were huge, his breathing harsh. He looked so old, this close. It made Sirius wonder what James would have looked like, how he would have grown up. It should be him here, murdering Sirius for Harry’s honor. A part of him wanted to bare his neck to Remus, James’ proxy in this righteous execution, and welcome a final ending at last.

But. There had been so much cold darkness. Not just in death, but before. Wandering through the years in Azkaban, then Grimmauld Place, subhuman. A wraith. When Harry had pulled him from the veil it had felt like going into heat and light at last, painfully intense and pathetically welcome. Sirius wanted to live.

“What was I supposed to do?” he murmured, searching Remus’ face for some shred of understanding. “Was I supposed to just stay dead?”

Their faces were close, and he saw that it cost Remus nothing at all to hiss, “Yes!”

Sirius’ heart seized at that. He shoved Remus with unconscious strength—shoved him harder than should have been possible. His body was so much stronger than it had ever been. Even when he was a perfect, vital twenty-year-old still bright-eyed over a new war.

So strong that he knocked an angry werewolf all the way back against the far wall. There Remus stood, arms spread to either side as though plastered, eyes wide, so pale his scars stood out all over his face in dark red relief.

A little of the venom went out of Sirius. His hands were fisted, and he flexed them open. His palms were stinging where he’d accidentally cut himself with his fingernails, four bloody crescents on each palm.

“Well,” he said roughly. “If that’s how you feel, I guess you can fuck off.”

Remus shoved himself away from the wall and summoned his wand, which he’d dropped somewhere midway. He didn’t look at Sirius, only at the floor as he strode back to the Floo, grabbed the powder and muttered his destination tersely. Sirius stood transfixed, watching the flames shrink back when he was gone.

Harry came in. Of course he noticed Sirius’ hands immediately, and picked them up with a little cry, rubbing each cut with his thumb. Sirius tried not to wince. It wasn’t hard; though the touch stung, Remus’ words had left deeper wounds.

Or had they? Had he really been surprised?

“You have to be careful with this stuff,” Harry muttered, cleaning the blood with his sleeve. “I don’t want to have to give you any more,” he added, and Sirius was startled enough to look at his face.

Harry smiled wryly.

Sirius snorted. “You have a dark sense of humor,” he noted. “I say that as someone with Black humor, so I should know.”

Harry’s smile deepened. He was swiftly healing each spot on Sirius’ hands with his wand. His magic felt sinfully good on Sirius’ skin.

“The darkest form of humor is punning, of course,” Sirius said, only half-conscious of what was coming out of his mouth. He grimaced. “How much of that did you hear?” He couldn’t imagine that Harry hadn’t stayed near the door, and Remus had been in such a state it hadn’t occurred to him to cast any spells for privacy.

Harry nodded, finally looking up, though he still held Sirius’ left hand. He put his wand in his pocket. Sirius reached out, helpless against the urge to touch. He cupped his hand over Harry’s neck and rubbed back and forth the way Harry liked. Harry stepped nearer so they were fully in each other’s space and rested his forehead on Sirius’ shoulder.

“He didn’t mean it,” Harry said, sounding sure as anything. Both his hands, and one of Sirius’, were now trapped between their bodies. Harry stroked Sirius’ stomach with his knuckles.

Sirius grunted and didn’t reply. Of course Moony meant it. If their roles were reversed and it was Moony who’d let Harry fuck him back to life — repeatedly — then Sirius would have done more than wish him dead. He’d have killed him.

Here was his final proof, if he needed it: he was as bad as any of his ancestors. Worse, maybe, because there was nothing Sirius loathed more than a hypocrite.

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midnightstargazer · 2 months

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so, re: Regulus and Barty in the latest chapter of Reborn from the Ashes

so, I've mentioned this before, but Regulus can't save everyone. There were people on Voldemort's side who he genuinely cared about and considered friends, and betraying Voldemort means betraying them, too. It always did. The only way it wouldn't is if they were willing to betray Voldemort with him.

Sure, the Malfoys and a few others from his old social circle are perfectly happy to live in a Voldemort-free world. But Barty would never have done that. Not this specific version of him, the way that I've chosen to characterize him. Little eleven-year-old Barty was a sweetheart, and his father's awful, but he was very eager to join the Death Eaters and never regretted it for a moment.

Which is hard for Regulus, because I think out of his Death Eater friends and acquaintances, Barty is the one he was holding out the most hope for right up until the end of the war. He would've loved to find out that Barty also changed sides and welcomed him with open arms. Not only because they were friends at school, but also because Barty was brand new to the Death Eaters when Regulus left, so Regulus wasn't there to witness any of the stuff he did. Unlike, say, Evan Rosier, who he was friends with for even longer but then actually witnessed committing heinous crimes with zero remorse, who he actually tried to talk to about his own concerns only to have Evan dismiss them. Regulus was still upset to hear that Evan had died, but he had already written him off by that point.

On the other hand, there are several points throughout the series where Regulus looks at Barty differently and is still hoping he might come around. Particularly in this conversation with Pandora in Toujours Vivant chapter 9:

“He’s still in school, and his family doesn’t support the cause. The Dark Lord probably won’t ask him to do anything big until after graduation. It was different for Evan and me, of course; our parents were happy to let us go out on missions during school breaks.” "Does he believe it, though?" Regulus paused to consider. If Barty didn't believe the Death Eaters' rhetoric, he certainly wouldn't have shared his doubts with the man who recruited him. And yet ... “It’s not about blood purity for him, I don’t think," said Regulus thoughtfully. "He pays lip service to the idea, but I think he’s mostly just an angry kid trying to be the opposite of what his father wanted.”

And this conversation where Lily is asking him about Snape in Toujours Vivant chapter 24:

“He’s a Death Eater, though? You’re sure of it?” There was an easy answer, but Lily looked so thoroughly disappointed that it made him hesitate. No matter how badly their friendship had crashed and burned, she obviously still cared enough to wish the answer was “no” - so he told her what he told himself when his thoughts lingered on Barty for too long. “He was a Death Eater when I left, and once you’re in, it’s very difficult to change your mind. But like I said, it’s been a while. I really don’t know what he’s doing now.” He paused and then added, “I know this doesn’t make it any better, but I think he still cares for you.”

Even in this most recent chapter of Reborn from the Ashes, he says he might have tried to help Barty if not for what had happened to the Longbottoms. Realistically, there's not much he can do either way. He doesn't have the influence on his own to get anyone out of prison, and none of the people who are on board with trying to prove Sirius's innocence would be willing to help free a Death Eater who stayed a Death Eater until the end. But what Regulus really means there, I think, is that he would not personally see Barty as beyond hope of redemption if he hadn't helped torture the Longbottoms.

But he did torture the Longbottoms, and if he got out of Azkaban, he would absolutely start hurting more people and trying to bring back Voldemort. So Regulus can't allow himself to care too much about Barty, because it's not just that he can't help him, he wouldn't even if he could. He has to prioritize Sirius - who actually doesn't deserve to be in Azkaban - and making sure Voldemort can't come back. Except that of course, he does care, because Barty did used to be his friend.

there's not anything coming up soon in canon that could make the whole thing a million times more complicated, is there? Nah. Definitely not...

#because apparently I felt like writing meta about my own fic

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