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#i've run out of ways to be like 'ooo im sad
arcadequeerz · 3 years
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feeling a way but cannot word it hgsg its bad,
#||Dnt Reb/og plz||#self harm ment TW#Cade.vnt#i've run out of ways to be like 'ooo im sad#emotions r fucked up and mhfdmh#my dads in the hospital!! not in michigan. he's in texas cus he went in while on work#hes having trouble breathing. in heart failure n has pneumonia apparently.#n texas' hospitals r. over ran. n everything is a mss.#my entire family is freaking out n i dont know if we'll be going down to texas yet or not if he cant leave the hospital so#who knows maybe i'll be driving to texas  at some point.#I. dont know how to feel#Eveeryones freaking out and im sat here not crying. not freaking out.i feel detatched and numb like its not really Happening.#my mom got mad at me today for not calling him at all n talking to him.#'you may not like how he's treated you but at least he's taken care of you!!!!'#idk how to feel. theres a verty real possibility he Might Die in this hospital.#is it fucked yp to say n oone hand i'd be relieved if he did. that if he died i'd almost feell relieved??? i feel like its fucked up and#im a piece of shit because hes my dad. ad i should be Crying and Upset and Scared because he's in the hospital with all this shit#in the world happening and he could die- i fdeel like i owe it to him and yet im sitting here still not crying#still not freaking out like my family. just sat here in the dark feeling pracically nothing.#n god my family is so??suspicious of me- idk the word-for not being upset- feel like my moms mad at me.#everythings fucked up right now n i feel equally as fucked up.#its 4:16 am and here i am. im a piece of shit.#anyways i was suppsed to go to sleep but i've been awake thinking agout this and ripping my scalp apart with my nails.#i hae blood on my fingers. i hate myself.
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kuronanox · 4 years
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Best friend and Lover- Yami Sukehiro
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One word, CHAOS!
The whole place was mess with children like teens running around the room yelling at each other. (Your Name) softly laughs as Yami breaks the building because they wouldn't stop wrecking the fort.
An awkward sweat on her face as she grabs his muscular arm. "Jeez big dude no need to add with the damage. Save that energy for the bedroom."
He puffs out smoke in her face and ruffles her hair. "What's got you all cheeky today?"
She tilts her head and lightly grabs his muscle shirt making him lean close. "Who else?" A devilish smirk placed on her face.
"Woah woah we should at least keep it pg 13, THeRe aRe cHilDRen ArOUnD!" Yami jokes as Asta slightly blushes at the two of them obviously flirting with each other.
"GET A ROOM!" Magna shout obviously flushed as (Your Name) just laughs and crashes on the couch with Vanessa.
"Ooo only you can make the 'romantic' side of captain come out." She slurs before taking another sip of her red wine.
Looking around the room she doesn't spot Yami, he was probably taking a shit on the toilet. If anything that was his only turn off she had about Yami.
"Wait how did you even meet him?" Noelle ask curious about the relationship the two of them had. Noelle was probably curious because she was secretly in love with Asta but wouldn't admit it.
6 years ago
(Your Name) was facing the discrimination of being an immigrant in the clover kingdom. Moving away from her home country to escape  she ran away. With the very few money she had (Your Name) decided to join the magic knights.
It was even worse once she made it to the squad, her fighting technique was different and unique having only to use a sword no one really understood the fighting style.
(Your Name) was very lucky that day to be chosen by the Grey Deers, Julius was very welcoming and interested in her powers.
Adjusting to the life style and language was hard for her.
Many nights she wanted to cry and disappear. She didn't have a meaning in her life, she was living for what? She had no family, no friends. Julius was her friend but he was also busy as a captain, she wasn't his top priority.
Yami didn't come into the picture till a year later, he was also a foreigner facing discrimination found by Julius.
(Your Name) remembered that very day, she felt like a piece of home came towards her.
"(Your Name) I like you to meet Yami, he's the same as you! Look at his sword!" Julius cheers with sparkles in his eyes as Yami deadpans behind him.
"Osu, my name is Yami, nice to meet you." He flatly states with a cigarettes in his mouth.
The two of them became inseparable after that day, a reason also was because they understood each other. With language, culture, values and fighting styles the two were in sync as if they were partners for years.
"You use dark magic?" (Your Name) says one day as they trained together. "Pretty cool right? I think your's is unique too! Controlling the natural elements can become a advantage in battle."
A small blush forms on her face as she scoffs and punches his shoulder lightly.
"Whatever you say, I never felt special till Julius keep complimenting my magic to be honest."
Yami lays on the grass lighting a cigarette.
"I mean your not all that spec- OW!" He yells as she punches his stomach extra hard. "IM JOKING! I was about to say I didn't think you were all that special till I noticed how much in common we have.... jeez."
Pouting (Your Name) looks away with a blush.
"Whatever....jerk."
Yami laughs as they made their way back to the Grey Deers.
Now there was no secret that Charlotte was in love with Yami, often time (Your Name) would catch her slipping and staring at the muscular man.
"I'm not pretty compared to her, she's so beautiful with blue eyes and blonde hair."
The right word to place in (Your Name) was jealousy, she could never be that beautiful.
It's not like Yami was neglecting her but she notice the pair got closer especially when they both became captains.
Often times (Your Name) would walk away because she knew the feelings that Charlotte had for Yami and she was no bitch to not let them have alone time.
"Why do you always leave me?" Yami asks (Your Name) one night as they moved into their new fort.
"Why are you so oblivious Yami?" She says unpacking her belongings and carrying it into her room.
"What'd ya mean?"
"Oh for crying out loud Yami never mind!"
The door slammed as he stood behind it. "Jeez woman, I'm just concerned."
(Your Name) sighs and lay in bed. She didn't know when the feelings develop for Yami but they did.
They spent less time together as he started to work a lot more since becoming captain and she started to take more missions alone.
"Another mission, I know you are strong but do you really wanna go alone?"
"Yeah I'll be fine, I'm always fine."
Yami didn't worry about her a lot but the mission was suppose to last a week he didn't hear from her.
3 weeks past by and Yami got a message stating that (Your Name) returned in an unconscious state.
"I know she's strong but damn I should have gone to her." Yami tells Julius as he sat next to her.
"We underestimated the mission but (Your Name) succeeded. I'm very proud of her." The wizard king says looking at his formal students.
"Yami, I didn't expect you to worry so much."
"What'd ya mean she's basically my Vice Captain?" He said obliviously with straight eyes.
Julius smiles he knew Yami was oblivious and short minded when it came to many things.
"Why don't you tell her your real feelings now. It's been several years now hasn't it."
"Huh? Stop talking nonsense." Yami laughs as Julius pats his back before walking out. "Right Yami?"
His laughter disappeared as Yami looked down to the girl in bed unconscious.
"Get up (Your Name) you know I can't lead a team without you."
In her unconscious state, it was pitch black, but she could hear voices. She could hear when people visited her and who the voices were. Most of the time it was Yami talking about nonsense to her.
"What a loser, talking to me like I'm awake."
"Oi I know you are enjoying being in bed but don't smile like that. I'm not going to go easy on you when you wake up."
"Typical Yami."
A month pasted by and (Your Name) awakened. It was dark outside but warm like summer. She was feeling better and energetic surprisingly, despite that her muscle were a bit sore from laying in bed for long.
Deciding to stay another night or go back to the fort she made the decision to go home.
The place was dark as she opened the door, no sign of Yami.
Walking into her room most of her belongings were already set in place. Her personal belongings were neatly placed in the closet safely.
Walking down the hall to Yami room it was quiet and she could hear him snoring. Opening his room door she walks towards his bed.
"Hey loser get up." She pokes him but Yami was still in a deep state of sleep. "Pssst get you."
"Shut up brat, sleep somewhere else." He talks in his sleep as she scoffs but smiles after.
Yami awoken the next morning with (Your Name) asleep on the chair next to his bed.
"(Your Name)!" He yells causing her to jump from the loud voice.
"HEY MAN NOT COOL!" She pouts annoyed at his way of waking her up.
"When did they discharge you?"
"They didn't I left?"
"Classic you, I missed that." He says wrapping an arm around her as they walked to the kitchen for breakfast. "I heard what happen on the mission... I'm proud of you." He then tells her with seriousness in his voice.
She sat across from him with a faint blush. "Thanks... Soooooo?" An awkward silence fell upon them as they looked at each other.
"Yami."
"(Your Name)."
They call out in unison. Clearing his throat he proceeded taking her silence as his permission to speak.
"Ima say this plain and simple, I'm in love with you."
(Your Name) had to process his confession which surprised her because Yami was stupid.
"Really?" She laughs a bit, happy that they shared the same feelings.
"Ya got a problem with that?"
"I don't, I've loved you for a long time. You are my best friend after all."
They shared a sweet embrace as she cuddled into his arms, it wasn't like this was the first time they had been contact with skin to skin.
This time it was official and no confusion to how they felt for each other.
"But you have to admit that you were jealous of Charlotte!" He jokes as (Your Name) punched him across the room.
"YA! I'm going to get sad, stop it!" She pouts as Yami just smiles and picks her up.
"I'm joking my best friend and lover, whatever you wanna call it." Yami says with a goofy grin on his face.
Present time
"Wow thanks for telling them our love story, sweet really." Yami says from behind Vanessa, (Your Name) and Noelle.
"Oo captain I didn't know you were a gentleman to the ladies." Vanessa teases him poking his stomach.
"I'm not, (Your Name) and I go way back! It was easy to talk about 'my feelings'..... yuck ima go now." Yami says a bit embarrassed the squad knew their love story.
"Wait for me I wanna cuddle! I promise to keep it pg 13 for the kids!" (Your Name) hollers running after him.
(Author note: bruh I feel like Yami was hella OC in this one shot lmfao. Also a update! sorry if there's a few grammar and punctuation error, none of my stories have been edited yet.)
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