#i've seen a lot of crap lately in my personal life

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

This is a little more personal here but “You can’t judge things by their worst qualities,” is actually something I’ve been saying to so many people for so long. And it actually means a lot to me to watch a character who I genuinely identify with, not in the way of situation but in the way of trying so hard to be kind and accepting even when people show me their worst qualities again and again means so much to me. It’s hard to be kind sometimes and it really does mean a lot to me to watch a show choose to have a character who is kind like that without like, putting up with the crap that comes with it. 

Mk goes through a lot, but through it all he still tells someone who has hurt him that they can be a hero, a warrior for something good despite all that. He still sits with someone who’s good intentions had ill effects and plays dumb to lighten the mood which ngl I do as well. He still opens a place for them with his friends and family and lets them come and go as they need. 

As much as I talk about the story aspects of Monkie Kid, it’s the messages that the story writes that keeps me with it and keeps me watching the show. It’s an incredible show in every aspect, in animation, storytelling, characterization and character development, but that one means the most to me. Life’s rough. Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes do horrible horrible things, but there is always the potential to be good, y’know? And it’s nice to see a character ready to accept people the moment they're ready to try, no matter how many times it takes. Even when they might not deserve it, even when it’s hard. Mk brings out the best in the people around him. And I want to be like that. 

Shoutout to Monkie Kid for giving morally dubious characters, kind characters, gruff characters, silly characters, complex characters and characters I wanna be like. I love this show a lot. 

#knox rambles #i've seen a lot of crap lately in my personal life #a lot of really horrible stuff done to me and other people #so i'm just #holding this show very gently right now #not saying i want Macaque to be around Mk much still he's still got a long way to go but #the fact Mk's willing to still be kind #to send him noodles #to tell him he can be more than what he is #kinda hit really close to home #along with the just him knowing Wukong's sorry and accepting it #there's a lot of bitterness around me sometimes #people want other people or characters to lash out and hurt the ones that hurt them but I just... i never want to do or see that #and I'm so grateful to Monkie kid for giving me Mk #yeah okay gonna go #see if Kai Sand's free yet now I promised him I'd vc bgsdfjkmowef #Monkie Kid #LEGO Monkie Kid season 3 special spoilers #Monkie Kid Season 3 special spoilers #monkie kid special spoilers #just feeling a lot i think #i'm tired but #you know what monkie kid is definitely a bright spot #and it means a lot to me #even if i'm taking a bit of a step back from the content making for my health bel;kdsfm;aone #okay yes that's all for now o7 #making sure this is all i'll post for now so i don't pull myself back into burnout bgfmkwe

[daddy-dins-girl]

Talk Me Down

A fic requested by @anotherpedrolover

I was gonna wait until Frankie Friday (tomorrow) to post this, but this sweet human being has already waited like 2 months for me to finish this, lol, so here you go! I was asked to write a fic about insecure!Frankie who has some self-esteem/body image issues but after being with Reader (who is very appreciative of his body) he gets into it and develops a bit of a praise kink for it but but he hits a rough patch and gets into a dark place, feeling very undeserving of the love and attention Reader gives him. The person who made the request asked me to focus on his feelings and emotions when he is feeling bad and insecure (and specifically asked for some tears to be shed, lol) so I did my best to beat the crap out of Frankie (emotionally).

I hope this is somewhat what they had in mind and that they like it :) I've never really written anything like this (PWP queen over here) so I hope I got it right and didn't make Frankie too OOC. Hope you all enjoy it!

Page dividers provided by the gracious and talented @saradika-graphics

Ao3 link

My Masterlist Word Count: 9.8k Fandom: Triple Frontier (Frankie Morales x f!Reader) Notes: Pre/No TF Mission. Fic title is from the song of the same name by Troye Sivan. Warnings: 🔞 18+MDNI. Angst. Drama. Body Insecurity/Self-esteem issues. Praise Kink. Smut (pretty tame and not a lot, considering its me lol, but its there). Sad!Frankie. Mid-Life-Crisis!Frankie. Emotional hurt/comfort. Eventual happy ending. Established Relationship. No use of y/n. No physical description of Reader.

“Babe, have you seen my -“ you cut yourself off mid sentence as you turn the corner and your eyes land on your boyfriend, leisurely sprawled on the couch with his legs up on the ottoman, ankles crossed over each other and television remote firmly in hand while a baseball game plays in the background.

“Are you serious?”

“What?” Frankie asks, incredulous.

“We have to be at Will and Benny’s in like…” you pause to look at your watch. “Fifteen minutes! And what is that… are you eating the potato salad I made?”

“Was I not supposed to?” Frankie responds, forkful halfway to his mouth again already.

“Oh my god” You shake your head. You literally can’t with him today. You made that for the barbecue pool party today and now it was nearly half gone.

“Nevermind, let’s just go” you huff. You’re not in a great mood and maybe you’re being a little bitchier than usual thanks to this god awful heatwave but Frankie wasn’t helping matters any.

“I’ll be in the car” you grumble towards his general direction as you head out the front door. At least there’s A/C in the Jeep.

Surprisingly he doesn’t keep you waiting long. He’s shoving his slides on his feet as he hops down the front steps only a minute or so later and then jumps into the driver’s seat next to you, buckling his seatbelt and the two of you head out of the driveway.

“See, plenty of time” He grins at you when you pull up to the outside of your friends house a short while later with actually a few minutes to spare before your requested arrival time. You had attempted to stay mad at him, neither of you speaking more than one or two words the entire drive but now with that stupidly adorable smirk on his face you have no choice but to want to kiss it off of him. Despite your best efforts, a smile tugs at the corners of your mouth.

“There it is” his grin widens as he brings a hand up to pinch at your cheek and you playfully swat him away, trying and failing to hold back a little laugh.

“Baby I don’t know what you think we’re gonna miss anyway. It’s my birthday party. They literally can’t start without me”

“Francisco Morales, you’re going to be late to your own funeral, you know that don’t you?” You shake your head at him but the smile hasn’t left your lips.

“Oh baby we’re gonna be real late if you keep that ‘Francisco’ talk up” he says, wiggling his eyebrows at you and reaching over the center console to grab a handful of your upper thigh. “Maybe we skip the party all together, you give me my birthday present early, hmm?”

“Get out of the car you perv!” You laugh, giving him a playful shove. “Are you sure you’re turning 40 and not 14?”

“All right, all right I’ll behave” He sighs, hands up in the air to signal his defeat.

You’re glad he seems like he’s in a better mood so far today. He’s been a little off the last couple of days and you can’t say why. You’ve asked a few times if something was bothering him but he kept shrugging you off, insisting everything was fine. You chalked it up to maybe just work stress and are hoping now that the weekend is here that he’ll be able to just relax and have a great time with his friends.

Despite you being early, the party is actually in full swing on your arrival. You and Frankie let yourselves in through the back gate where the backyard is filled with several of Frankie’s (and now yours, you supposed) friends milling about. The ones you recognize immediately are his old military unit; Santiago, Benny, Will and Tom, as well as Will’s girlfriend and Tom’s wife. There are a few other people around you’ve definitely met before but can’t place all of them. Either way, you’re glad to see so many people have shown up for Frankie on his big day.

The space is decorated too with balloons everywhere, a giant banner that reads “Happy Birthday Fish!” and a big poster board is taped up against the side of the house as soon as you walk in that has pictures of Frankie and his family and friends all over it with the title “40 Years In The Making” written at the top in huge block lettering. You and Frankie both take a moment to look over the board before anyone deeper inside the yard notices you yet. There are a bunch of photos from his younger military days and even a few from when he was just a boy that have you gushing over him, telling Frankie how adorable he was and pinching his cheek for good measure. You spot a couple of pictures of Frankie having fallen asleep at a party (something he’s been known to do) with his signature ball cap pulled down over his face and beer bottle loosely gripped in his hand and those give you both a good laugh. There’s two photos of you and him together, you notice, and your personal favourite picture of Frankie - him flying his helicopter wearing a pair of Aviators, looking so sexy it makes you melt each time you see it.

You safely assume the wife and girlfriends of Frankie’s closest pals were mostly to thank for the decorating. If it were up to the boys there would be a folded table in the middle of the backyard with a pack of cards and a cooler full of beer and that would be it.

“There he is!” Benny shouts across the yard the moment he spots you both just inside the gate. He dashes across the patio and throws his arms around Frankie, nearly knocking him over in the process before landing a few hard slaps to his back. “Happy birthday ya old fuck” he teases, grabbing on to Frankie’s shoulder and jostling him slightly.

“Yeah, yeah, it’ll be your turn soon enough” Frankie reminds him but Benny just shrugs.

“Always be younger than you though” he winks and that earns him a little shove from Frankie.

The rest of the greetings go more or less the same way, playful teasing or ribbing on Frankie for turning the big “4-0”. It gets old quickly but if it bothers Frankie he doesn’t let it show, just takes it in stride as he makes his way through the small crowd and says his hello’s.

By the time you get home much later that night you’re exhausted. It’s late and the day had been long (and hot in that blistering sun). Add to that you’re sober whereas everyone around you had been thoroughly wasted which made the night seem to drag on even longer. You wanted Frankie to have a great time, it was his birthday after all, so you offered to drive you both tonight and somehow that had turned into you offering to be an Uber driver for half the party so instead of it taking ten minutes to get home it had taken an hour.

“I’m beat” you announce through a long drawn out yawn, stretching tired limbs over your head. “You wanna come to bed with me, birthday boy?” You ask playfully, walking up to Frankie and looping your fingers through the belt loops of his tan cargo shorts to tug him a little closer, hoping he catches on that you’re not that tired.

“Think I’m gonna shower, I hate smelling like chlorine” he complains, gently taking your hands and removing them from his waist. “You go on, I won’t be long” he promises before leaning forward and planting a kiss to your forehead.

“Baby,” you whine, a masterful pout displayed on your lips. “C’mon upstairs with me, while it’s still your birthday” you try seductively, hand reaching out to brush over the outside of his pants at his crotch.

“I said I want to shower” Frankie replies back, a little too curtly for your liking and his tone leaving no room for argument as he pushes your hand away a second time. You frown and the huff of disappointment you breathe out doesn’t go unnoticed by your partner.

“Baby come on, I’m sorry. I just don’t wanna go to bed smelling like chemicals. Go on up to bed, I’ll be right behind you” he says with finality and gives your hand a little squeeze before dropping it and heading off to the bathroom.

You sigh but let him go. Truthfully you’d been trying to drag him out of the party for hours, desperate to get him alone and all to yourself. You don’t know what’s come over you today but you felt downright needy for him, your hormones just off the charts and now he’s making you wait even longer when all you want to do is rip his clothes off and show him exactly how glad you are that he was born forty years ago today and by some cosmic twist of fate found his way into your life.

Once in the bedroom and settled into bed you hear the spray of water come to life in the bathroom down the hall and your mind can’t help but drift and think about Frankie, naked and in the shower. How the water is cascading down his broad shoulders to his soft tummy and strong, thick legs and a heat floods your body, going straight to the lower part of your abdomen. You loved his body and you weren’t shy about telling him either. You remember back to when you’d first started dating, the early stages of your intimate relationship. He was so shy around you at first, always insisting the lights be off or even leaving his t-shirt on when you’d have sex. It was all a mystery to you, how someone as gorgeous as Frankie could have self-esteem issues but you loved to remind him how crazy he drove you and how perfect he was in your eyes.

At first he got so embarrassed at your borderline worship of his body, refused to even believe you in the beginning but he warmed up eventually to the point where he loved it. Craved it, even, your praise of him. Though he’d never admitted to it out loud and always remained a little bashful about it, you could tell. Frankie was already a very generous, selfless and enthusiastic lover, but when you really got vocal with him (or better yet let your tongue and hands do the talking) of how much you enjoyed every part of his physical anatomy, Frankie could get downright animalistic with you and it brought the already amazing sex to a whole new level for you both. You had definitely uncovered a little praise-kink in your boyfriend that you don’t think he even knew existed in himself and honestly no sexual relationship you’ve had in the past could ever hold a candle to the one you and Frankie have created together.

You plan on using every weapon in your arsenal on him tonight to truly wish him a happy birthday he won’t soon forget. You’ll caress, kiss and lick your way from his prominent neck vein, his broad chest with just the lightest smattering of golden brown hair, take more than enough time for your tongue to appreciate each of his small dusty pink nipples before you continue down his sternum to where he gets a little softer. You’ll playfully nip and suck at the small expanse of flesh at his belly that protrudes just barely over his waistline, making sure to let him know with words how gorgeous he is, how hot he makes you, how he’s all yours. You just hope you get to have your fill before he takes his own. It had taken you a while to get Frankie to allow you to appreciate him the way you wanted to. He was always insistent on your pleasure and he still is to this day, but you’ve managed to strike a fairly delicate balance now for the most part, though you’ll admit there are days where Frankie comes home and he just needs you. You’ve come to recognize it on him and you’re glad to give him the reins when that happens, knowing that he’ll allow you to do the same when you need it. When you said Frankie was a generous lover you weren’t exaggerating. That man would spend hours with his face buried between your legs if you’d let him, and sometimes you’d let him do just that. But tonight was for him and tonight you need him. Need to show him how in love with him you are in a way that words just can’t do.

You have to press your thighs together just at the thought of him in the shower now, hoping he won’t be long so you can hopefully pull him out of this weird mood he’d been in most of the day. It started not long after you got to Will and Benny’s. Just silly, little things that just seemed to set him off to the point where he’d either pick a fight with you (or whoever else he happened to be talking to) or just get overly quiet and wander off by himself. You think back trying to think what could’ve started it all. He’d gone into the party in a good enough mood but soon after he started acting weird. The two of you barely fought, like ever, and here you were today in front of all your friends getting into a yelling match with each other about goddamn sunscreen of all things. And it wasn’t just you, he seemed overly quiet today around everyone, even his best friends who were more like brothers to him than anything and none of it made sense to you, you just hope now that he was home maybe he’d get out of his funk.

Your mind doesn’t have any longer to dwell however because Frankie emerges from the bathroom and into the bedroom, already changed into a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Your tongue absent-mindedly peeks out to swipe across your bottom lip at the way the wet curls stick to his forehead or how tiny droplets of water soak through the thin cotton of his dark gray t-shirt because he didn’t quite dry himself all the way off before tugging it over his head.

Not that it matters, you don’t plan on him wearing it long anyway.

“Finally” you smile at him from your spot on the bed and shuffle back slightly to pat down on the space next to you on the mattress. You pull back the bed covers to reveal that you’re wearing next to nothing, A black lacy bra and matching panties that really left nothing to the imagination. It was Frankie’s favourite on you.

“You didn’t have to wait up” Frankie says casually, looking down as he unfastens his watch from his wrist to toss it on the nightstand. If he notices your state of nearly undress during his brief glance in your direction he doesn’t say anything or even react. “Thought you were tired” he adds, feigning concern for your sleep habits.

“Read between the lines Morales, was just trying to get you into bed” you tease, sticking the tip of your tongue out at him playfully. He says nothing in response, just flips off the light and crawls in next to you but to your surprise just throws the comforter over you both and turns on his side and faces away from you as he scrunches up his pillow under his head until he’s comfortable and settles.

You frown, not that he can see you, but shuffle over to him anyway so you’re pressed up against his back and your arm slings around his waist. You stay still for a minute, waiting to see if he’ll take your less than subtle hint that you’re “not tired” but he just lays there, unmoving, and so you decide it’s time to take matters into your own hands. Literally.

Your hand slips under the hem of his shirt to rest on his soft belly and begins to gently explore. Fingertips dancing along the smooth skin and sparse little body hairs and moving over to his hip where you grab onto the small bit of extra skin there and massage his side but before you can go any further he’s grabbing your hand and pushing it out from under his shirt. He brings it to rest on top of his chest over the thin cotton of his t-shirt and just holds his hand over top of yours.

“Baby?” You breathe out into the blackness of the room, worry evident in your tone. Was he angry at you for something else now? You hadn’t even done anything for him to be mad at you about, you’ve been in bed the whole time.

“Sorry, I’m just tired” he mumbles into the pillow but you’re not buying it. Frankie was a bit of a night owl, not to mention it was a Saturday night, neither of you had work in the morning and the two of you always made sure to make the most of your weekend nights together when you could really take the time to make love the way you craved to all week.

“Hey,” you call out softly, grabbing for his shoulder and pulling it towards you so he’ll turn to face you. He lets you, turning halfway to you, onto his back and craning his neck to face you.

“Is everything okay? Are you mad at me or something?” You ask genuinely concerned. You try not to make it sound like you’re pouting because you’re not, you just need to know what’s going on with him. Maybe he’s upset about something, or maybe just a little too drunk to actively participate the way he thinks he should but you wouldn’t mind too much if he was, you certainly don’t mind taking care of him and you know he’ll more than make it up to you the next time.

He lets out a sigh and tiredly rubs at his eyes.

“Of course not. Come here, I’m sorry” he sighs once more and lifts his arm closest to you so you can snuggle into him, your head resting on his shoulder and your arm drapes across his middle again. He tilts his head down slightly to kiss the top of your hair but otherwise makes no moves to initiate anything further physically with you, just holds you tightly to his body.

“Are you really tired?” You ask quietly, turning your face slightly to nuzzle into his neck and plant little kisses there. You feel the little shudder that runs through his body and a smile pulls at your lips.

Maybe he wasn’t mad at you.

“I haven’t given you your present yet” you breathe into the warm flesh of his throat, tongue darting out to give a tentative little lick to the underside of his jaw and he rewards you with the slightest little moan, but it’s enough that you heard it and it encourages you to continue.

You begin to kiss and lick your way down the column of his throat while your hand leaves his chest to come down and gently palm him over his boxers and he instinctively thrusts his hips into your touch and you moan into his skin. You can feel him beginning to swell under your touch already.

“Mmm, can I take you out?” You murmur against his collarbone and he nods his head.

“Yeah,” he lets out in a breathy whisper and brings his own free hand down to help you shove his boxers down his thighs until he’s able to kick out of them.

Your hand wraps around his impressive length the moment he’s free from the confines of his underwear, slowly pumping him with practiced strokes and it’s not long until he’s fully hard in your hand and quietly grunting and groaning, your face buried in the juncture where his neck meets his shoulder. You hate that his shirt is still on, your mouth not able to reach all the places it desperately wants to.

Your hand leaves him for a moment as you push yourself up onto your knees and swing one leg over him so you're straddling his hips, your hands resting on his chest overtop of the soft worn cotton.

“You can be tired baby, let me all do the work” you coo, leaning down to place another kiss to his jaw as you slowly grind your pelvis into his. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was just too tired or drunk to have the full cognitive function he needed but that was fine by you, tonight was for him anyways.

“Shit,” he groans, hands sliding under the back of your panties to grope the globes of your ass in his two large hands and he presses you down even harder against his groin just as he thrusts his hips upwards, the delicious friction causing a moan to escape your lips.

“Mmm, you feel so good” you whimper against his heated flesh as you nuzzle the underside of his jaw and into his throat.

“Take these off” Frankie practically growls, impatiently shoving your underwear down and with his help you manage to wiggle free of them. You both moan in unison when your lower halves press together again, this time with no barriers between you as his throbbing member slides through your slick folds with every calculated thrust of your hips against him.

“Baby you make me so wet” you giggle, hands roaming his hard chest and broad shoulders. “God you’re so hot” you praise, mouth latching back onto his neck as you trail hot open-mouthed kisses down the column of his throat until you reach the collar of his t-shirt.

“Off” you gently demand, hands going to the bottom of his tee and beginning to push it upwards. You need to feel all of him, his warm skin on yours. Need to lick and kiss and touch every inch of him. “Let me touch you”

“Mnnmm mnmm” he shakes his head and without warning suddenly flips you both with practiced ease until you’re underneath him flat on your back and he’s on hands and knees looming over you. He grabs your wrists and hauls them up above your head, bringing them together so he’s able to hold them down with one hand against the top of the mattress so he can have one free and you giggle up at him.

“What’s gotten into you? You’re supposed to be tired, old man” you tease him but there’s no mirth in his eyes after he hears your words, no lingering smile on his lips. There’s desire, sure, but something else on his features. Subtle, whatever it is, but it’s there.

“Do you wanna fuck or not? Jesus,” he snaps. “I can’t do anything fucking right”

Oh, and there it is. It’s anger.

Your face scrunches up at his little outburst. That was not like Frankie at all. Not your sweet, loving, caring Frankie who adored you, this was someone else, someone you didn’t recognize.

“Get off me” you huff, easily wiggling your wrists free as he wasn’t holding too tightly and you bring your hands up to shove at his chest. His yelling at you instantly taking you out of the mood.

He does, immediately. He rolls off of you, grabs for his discarded boxers near the bottom of the bed and shoves them on. You do the same with your own underwear and also pull the sheet up to cover yourself, not wanting to feel any more vulnerable in front of him than you already do.

You have no idea what in the fuck that was all about, snapping at you like that when you thought everything was going rather well. He really was in a mood today apparently, and you didn’t care for it one bit. You’re already feeling overly emotional today, your period must be just around the corner or something.

The room falls silent. Frankie sits on the edge of the side of the bed, hands on his thighs and head hanging low while you lay back against the headboard, fingers twisting into the sheets, holding them around you like a shield. Tears well in your eyes, threatening to fall but you quickly blink them away before you bury your head in your knees.

“Do you want me to sleep downstairs?” He asks softly, the gruffness gone from his voice now. He sounds almost apologetic, though he’s still yet to apologize. He's not looking at you either, but your grateful for that at this moment.

You say nothing. Not trusting your voice just yet but the tiniest sniffle from your nose is near deafening in the stillness of the room. You quickly clear your throat in an attempt to cover the sound but it’s too late. Frankie’s head whips around back in your direction and he’s suddenly scrambling up the bed to wrap his arms around your lower back. Your legs lower instinctively to let him in and he lies over top of you with his head resting on your middle.

“Fuck, I’m sorry” he breathes out, voice muffled by the thin layer of the bed sheet as he buries his face into your stomach. “I’m an asshole”

“You’re not” you sigh. “Just - tell me what’s going on with you” you say calmly, hands now petting through his hair.

“Nothin’” he grumbles into your tummy.

“It’s not nothing, come on,” you try, a little softer this time. “You can tell me anything, you know I love you no matter what”

“Why?”

It's so quiet, so soft, mumbled against you that your ears almost didn’t even pick it up. Your heart breaks a little at the single uttered syllable.

“Hey,” you frown, grabbing both sides of his face in your hands and forcing him to look up at you. “Are you seriously asking why I love you? Where’s this coming from?” You ask, concerned. He’s been known to get down on himself from time to time but you’ve never seen him like this and it worries you.

He lets out a heavy sigh and rolls off of you, crawling up the bed to lay on his back next to you and rubs his hands over his face.

“Baby, talk to me” you press, turning to your side and curling up to his larger frame, hand stretching out to rest on his chest as your fingers play absently with the soft material of his t-shirt. “Did something happen?”

“Yeah, 40 happened” he groans, hand doing a sweeping motion down his body. “I mean, look at this” he shakes his head.

“Oh baby trust me, I look at this every day” you counter, an appreciative smile playing on your lips as your hand gently rubs into his chest.

“This perfect,” you pause to press a kiss into his cheek. “Sexy,” another kiss to his jaw. “Man of my dreams”

“Stop” he huffs, gently pushing you away. “Just don’t… say shit like that. It’s not true” he argues, flipping over onto his side to face away from you.

You know when to push him and when not to, and now is not one of those times. You’ll let him have his moment, knowing if you get too in his face about it he’s likely just going to shut down and you need him to be open with you if you’re going to get anywhere. So instead you just leave him be, but stay nestled into his side, your hand rubbing small circles into his back and shoulder blades, just a soft gesture to let him know you’re here and not going anywhere.

Long minutes pass and after a while you think maybe he’s fallen asleep, until you hear it. It’s barely audible, but it’s there. The tiniest whimper falls from his lips, followed by a quiet little sniffle before he buries his face into a pillow in an attempt to cover it up and your whole heart breaks in two.

“Frankie, baby” you soothe, pulling on his shoulder and forcing him to turn towards you. Surprisingly he doesn’t fight it, just lets you roll him over and he instantly buries his face in your neck once he’s facing you, unable to look you in the eyes. But you don’t need to see him, you can feel the hot tears on his cheeks as he presses into you and you wrap your arms around his shoulders a little tighter, one hand cradling the back of his head as he lets his emotions out.

“I love you, ok?” You whisper against his chocolate brown curls, your lips pressing a kiss to the side of his head. He says nothing, just nods his head against you that he knows you love him and he knows he’s being oversensitive but he just can’t help it.

“I wish you could see what I see” you murmur against him, still hugging him tightly to your body.

Franky gently pushes back from you slightly, quickly wiping at his eyes and collecting himself before his red-rimmed gaze settles on yours.

“I’m sorry I’m in a shit mood and taking it out on you, it’s not fair and you don’t deserve it” he apologizes, shaking his head slightly. “I’m just feeling down on myself I guess and I dragged you into it and I’m sorry”

“Is that what’s been going on all day?” You ask, genuinely curious. You’re starting to piece it together now, all the teasing he’s put up with all day, how he only seemed to be snapping at you when you complimented him or tried to take off his shirt tonight. Not to mention all his friends running around half naked in just their swim trunks all afternoon, most of whom kept themselves in very tip top shape. Maybe Frankie had grown a little softer since the two of you have been together but you loved it on him, his ‘dad bod’ physique. He has nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, as far as you’re concerned. But you suppose it’s hard not to feel self conscious when standing next to a shirtless Will, Benny or Santiago who all look like they could be models in some sort of hot firefighter calendar or something. None of them did anything for you though, Frankie would always hold your heart and your gaze, no matter who he was standing next to.

“I guess” Frankie sighs, fingers now picking at an imaginary thread on the blanket underneath you. “Sometimes I just wonder…” he trails off again and you frown.

“Wonder what?”

“Wonder what in the hell you’re doin’ with me” he sighs, throwing his hands up. “I’m a fuck-up. Forty years old and what have I accomplished in my life? I have a shit job, working for an asshole I can’t stand, flying tourists around and giving private lessons on the side to rich jerkoffs who don’t give a shit about learning anything about flying, just want a cool photo for their Instagram. Since I left the service I just feel like… Like I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing with my life anymore so I just haven’t done fucking anything. And you… god knows why you give me the time of day but you do and I just don’t ever feel like I’m enough. Least I could fucking do for you is go to the gym and take care of myself, god knows I need to eat healthier” He shakes his head and you’re unsure for a moment if he’s done beating himself up but before you even have a chance to articulate a response he starts up again.

“Like look at this!” He shouts suddenly, voice raised much higher than moments earlier as he rips his shirt off his head and sweeps his hand down his front. “How can you be in love with this, with someone who looks like this?! I… fuck’”

He doesn’t get any more words out, his hands flying to his face to hide his shame as he starts sobbing with how much hatred he apparently holds for himself and you can’t take it. You lurch forward, wrapping your arms around him and holding him as tightly to your body as possible. Thankfully he doesn’t push you away, just grabs onto you like you're his only lifeline, clinging to you with desperation.

“Frankie, my love, oh Frankie” you’re in tears now too, holding onto him for dear life so he can’t slip away from you. You won’t let him. Not this time.

You crawl into his lap, your legs wrapping around his waist and arms still around his neck like a needy spider monkey.

“I love you, so fucking much” you clarify, because you need him to hear you. “I’m sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable. I know I can get carried away sometimes but I guess I just thought you were okay with it, thought we were both into it. But I’ve never lied to you when I tell you how I feel about you or your body. Do you hear me, Francisco?” You ask and after a moment he nods his head just slightly, just once.

“I am crazy about you, whether you believe it or understand it. But if it makes you uncomfortable when I express my physical attraction to you the way that I do, then I'll stop. Or, you know, try to. Sometimes in the heat of the moment it might just come out but you can remind me and I swear I'll do my best. Just tell me what you need from me baby, whatever it is I’ll give it to you. I can’t lose you Frankie, I can’t!” Your tears flow even harder and Frankie’s grip around you tightens at your words.

“I know, I know” he murmurs softly. “Too fucking good for me” he reiterates quietly, but not in an argumentative way like he’d meant it earlier, more like he can’t believe you put up with his shit but he’s so glad that you do. You think maybe your words have sunk in because he's not arguing with you anymore, not berating himself, just absorbing everything. You decide to leave it be for now. You've said your peace, now you can only hope he'll believe your words and take everything you've said into consideration to fend off whatever demons are feasting inside of him. All you want is his happiness and you know that you can't be the one to solely give that to him, that he needs to find it within himself as well, but you're damn sure willing and hoping that he'll take the support you give him and that he'll let you be there at his side to continue to take on this journey of life together. If he wants to find a new job, or a new career even, you'd support him through that in every way you can. You'll do whatever is in your power to get him through this and you just hope now that he knows that.

You hold each other for several minutes, neither of you saying anything further, just taking whatever comfort you have left to offer one another. You don't push him for any more communication, assuming if he's not speaking it's because his thoughts are still a little all over the place and he still hasn't quite worked it all out for himself. He'll talk about it again when he's ready and whether that's tonight or tomorrow or next month, you'll wait for him. He's worth the wait, there's no doubt in your mind about that.

After a while Frankie shifts you both until he’s lied down on his back on the bed with you half draped over top of him and eventually sleep overcomes the tears and emotions and your breathing evens out as you both drift off within minutes of lying down, the full events of the day finally taking its toll on your weary bodies.

When you wake again the sun hasn’t quite risen to the sky but you know it’s only minutes away, not hours. You feel like you didn’t sleep at all. Your head is pounding like you’re the one who finished a gallon of tequila last night, not your boyfriend and his friends. Frankie is beside you, though you’ve more or less switched positions. You’re fully on your back with Frankie’s arm draped across your middle, his face buried into the juncture where your neck meets your shoulder and he snores softly. You’re glad he’s sleeping peacefully, god knows he needs it. You carefully extract yourself from him, needing to get up and use the bathroom, tossing on a pair of shorts and a tank top. As you pad across the plush carpeting and out to the hallway your mind spins a hundred different directions as you think about yesterday, about last night. You were both highly emotional but truth be told you’ve felt off for weeks. More tired. Bitchy. And you know you’ve been taking it out on Frankie even when he’s the last person that deserves it and who knows, maybe he thought you’ve been trying to push away from him and last night he just tried to do it himself before you got the chance to and he let his insecurities get the better of him. Of course that wasn’t your intention, you’ve never felt for anyone the way you feel about him and you meant every word last night when you told him you can’t lose him. You’ve just been a mess lately and you can’t really explain it other than you know it’s nothing to do with Frankie and certainly not his fault, he just takes the brunt of your ‘crazy’ because he’s the closest person to you. You don’t know what the fuck has been going on with you unless…

Shit.

You practically sprint the rest of the way to the bathroom down the hall, tossing open drawers and cupboards and medicine cabinets in a flurry as you look for that precious little white stick that might explain a whole hell of a lot that’s been going on with you.

“Hey” you softly call out from the doorway of the bedroom, leaning up against it with a large glass of water in hand. Frankie slowly stirs. He’s on his stomach now and raises his head to look at you through sleep-bleared eyes, wayward curls falling across his forehead.

“Hey” he rasps out, voice no doubt shot from all the talking and yelling and crying from last night.

This is what the water was for.

You cross the room and he immediately throws the blanket open, inviting you into his warm cocoon as he slightly sits up against the headboard. You hand him the water as you settle in next to his large warm frame and he chugs the entire glass in record time.

“Ah, thank you, I needed that” he says, clearing his throat and then reaching past you to place the glass on the nightstand before he wraps his arms around your shoulders and pulls you into his chest, his chin resting atop your head.

“How are you feeling?” You murmur into his chest, hand coming up to draw small shapes against his clavicle.

“Like a bit of a first class idiot, if I’m bein’ honest” he sighs and you squeeze your arms around him a little tighter.

“Don’t, babe” you tut, pressing a kiss to his chest. “You were feeling a lot yesterday and it obviously needed to come out. I’m glad it did. We need to be honest with each other, you know?” You tell him, tilting your head to look up at his face. He flashes the tiniest smile at you and leans down to press a kiss to the tip of your nose before you settle back against his chest.

“Some of the things I said last night though, I didn’t even mean. Not really…” he trails off, shaking his head like he’s trying to get his thoughts in order.

You push back from him slightly and up into a sitting position and turn to face him so the two of you can have a real conversation.

“Like what?”

He shrugs shyly and looks away, fingers fidgeting with the blanket around his waist. You hear a mumbled ‘dunno’ fall from his lips. You have a pretty good idea what he’s getting at but know that he’s too embarrassed to say it himself so you help him out, scooting a little closer and placing a hand on his naked chest before you let it slowly drift lower, fingertips dancing across his warm soft flesh and his eyes close and he lets out a content little sigh as he feels your hands on his body again.

“Last night I thought that maybe… I sometimes make you feel uncomfortable when we’re in bed with the attention I give and show you... Was that just insecure Frankie talking?” You ask softly. His eyes are still closed but he nods his head. Your hand rests on his stomach and you slide it upwards again and wrap it around his neck, your thumb brushing back and forth behind his ear.

“Sorry I basically called you a liar last night. That wasn’t fair of me” He tells you sincerely, finally opening his eyes to look back at yours. “I know you love me. All of me. God knows why, but you do” he finishes with a teasing smirk.

“I do love all of you. Every inch. And sometimes I just love showing you how much I do” you shrug.

“I know. And if I’m bein’ honest… I do… y’know, like it. I really like it. I just, yesterday, I don’t know what came over me. Just feeling sorry for myself I guess and wasn’t feeling… up to par, for you, and I guess I got a little too much in my own head. Shit I don’t know, guys teasing me all night, I probably had too much to drink and looking at those stupid pictures of me from when I was much younger and took better care of myself just had me feeling not very good about myself”

“Frankie, baby,” you begin, shifting your position so you can swing one knee over to the other side of his hips so you’re sitting on his lap on your knees facing him while he rests against the headboard. His hands immediately go to your hips and rest there, just holding you, while yours go to his shoulders.

“You never have to doubt for a moment how I feel about you. How I desire you. I need you to hear me on that” you tell him, staring into his eyes in hopes he doesn’t get too embarrassed and turn away from you again. To your delight, he doesn’t. He holds your gaze and his thumbs absently draw small circles on your hips. “I am in love with this Frankie, the one right in front of me. To me he’s sweet and perfect and yeah, he turns me on. Like, a fucking lot. So sorry, but you’re just gonna have to face facts, and thems the facts” you conclude teasingly and he lets out a little chuckle.

“Understood” he nods once before he pushes forward slightly and his mouth latches on to the side of your throat, gently kissing at your inviting flesh. Your head falls back and your hands travel up to hold the back of his head, fingers running through soft chestnut curls.

“There’s something else you said last night…” you begin, trailing off slightly as Frankie’s hot mouth on your skin attempts to distract you.

“Mmm?” He mumbles into your neck, not letting up from what he’s doing as he licks and nips and sucks at the supple flesh of your throat.

Despite wanting nothing more than for him to continue, your hands go to his chest and you gently push him back. He falls back against the headboard with a quiet thud and looks at you with a hint of confusion and worry in his gaze.

“You said you haven’t accomplished anything since leaving the military and well… I just wanted you to know that I am currently in possession of evidence that you have accomplished something very special. Might even be the most important thing you’ve done in your life” you shrug and he raises a curious eyebrow at you.

“Possess… what? What do you mean?”

Rather than spell it out for him, you take his large hand in two of yours and bring it to rest on your stomach, his palm flat across the span of your belly. It’s probably too early for a ‘bump’ just yet but you hold his hand there all the same and within seconds you watch as the realization dawns across his face. At first his brow furrows like he’s confused but then they perk up and his face splits into a giant grin that reaches his eyes and causes them to crinkle at the corners.

“Baby are you… are you serious?” He asks for confirmation and you simply nod your head.

“I mean, I think so. I’ve been feeling kinda off for a while and you my dear boyfriend were too sweet to call me out on any of my crazy shit” you add teasingly and huffs a little laugh but shakes his head. “Then it all kinda clicked into place when I woke up so I took a test this morning and it was positive” you shrug. “I’ll have to make a doctors appointment to be su-“

You don’t get the rest of the words out before Frankie is on you. He surges forward pressing his mouth to yours in a firm kiss before he moves to start peppering tiny little kisses all over your face and neck until you’re bubbling over with laughter as his facial scruff tickles your throat with his frantic movements.

“We’re having a baby?” He asks, eyes welled up with tears as he pushes back from you to stare into yours. He needs to hear you say it, make sure he’s not dreaming this moment. You had a close call together once before, hence the left over pregnancy tests in your bathroom cupboard but nothing came of it. Neither of you expressed disappointment or relief over the false alarm several months back, just kept on with your lives but now it felt different. At least for you. You felt… ready. Excited, even.

“We’re having a baby” you confirm, wide grin across your lips, ecstatic that Frankie is happy with this news.

“Oh my god” he breathes out, wrapping his arms around your back and pulling you tightly against his chest so he can bury his nose in your hair. “I'm gonna be a dad?”

“You’re gonna be a great dad” you clarify.

“Oh my god” he breathes out again, pulling you back tightly against him one last time.

“I’m so glad you’re happy about this” you blubber through a few tears, squeezing him back just as tightly. You really weren’t sure how this news would go over, especially given the events of last night and how Frankie currently felt about his position in life but you are incredibly relieved at how happy this news has made him. You weren’t planning this, like at all, but you suppose when you have as much sex as you and Frankie do, no matter how careful you are, it’s bound to happen.

“Of course I'm happy” Frankie murmurs into your shoulder. “I’m so fucking happy” you can feel a few stray tears fall against your skin and you smile, holding him impossibly tighter.

You stay there for several long moments, just letting everything sink in before Frankie speaks and breaks the silence. It’s quiet, muffled into the warmth of your skin as his face stays buried in your neck, but you hear it.

“Will you marry me?”

“What?” You breathe out in shock. You heard him, you know you heard exactly what he said, but… is this really happening?

“Will you-”

“I heard you” you quickly interrupt, gently pulling back from him enough so you can look at each other again. You put both hands on his face, searching for any traces of regret like maybe he just blurted that out because of the endorphins coursing through his body but he looks back at you only with pure love in those giant brown irises of his.

All the same, you need to be sure he’s absolutely sure and not just doing this because he thinks it’s ‘the right thing to do’. You want him to marry you because he wants to marry you, not because of any obligation he might feel. To be honest you’ve been waiting for a while for him to pop the question, you figured you’ve been together long enough, living together even for a while now but it hadn’t happened yet. You try not to feel too over excited that he’s asked you now, in case it’s for the wrong reasons, but you can’t help but feel how your heart practically soared the moment the words fell from his lips.

“And?...” Frankie asks hopefully and you realize it’s been several long seconds without you actually giving him an answer.

“Baby,” You sigh, your gaze glancing down for a moment and you feel his shoulders drop a little, like he’s already anticipating you saying no to him. “I would marry you in a damn heartbeat but… I just don’t want you to ask me now because you think you have to. This is a lot, I just don’t want to put any more pressure on you. I don’t expect you to suddenly feel ready to marry me because of this”

You try desperately to hold back the tears that threaten to fall. If he agrees with you and takes it back you won’t be mad with him but you know your heart will be just a little bit broken.

“Wait right here” he suddenly pipes up, taking your hands and pressing them into your lap before he extracts himself from the bed and runs over to the closet. You watch him closely, not exactly sure what he’s up to as he scavenges around at the top of the closet for a moment, rooting through a box you recognize that holds some of his military achievements that he said he didn’t want to hang up or have on display, a chapter of his life he had closed.

He seems to find what he’s been after and scurries back over to the bed, crawling across it on his knees until he’s back in front of you again and presses a small blue velvet box into your hands. You flip the lid open and a soft gasp leaves your lungs.

“This isn’t exactly how I wanted to do this” he shrugs. “I bought it weeks ago and I wanted to, you know, plan something big for you and then ask you but, I mean, what’s a bigger moment than this, right?”

Your eyes well up again (happy tears this time) as you stare down at the beautifully crafted diamond engagement ring that sparkles brightly despite the low lighting of your bedroom. The band is a beautiful rose gold, your favourite, and the cut of the diamond and style of the ring is one you’ve been dreaming about since you were a little girl. Clearly Frankie paid attention all those times you happened to pass by a jewelry store together.

“You’ve had this for weeks?” You ask through your tears, still not believing it, your dream actually coming true. Not only was Frankie asking you to marry him, but it was his idea and something he’d decided on long before he knew you were pregnant.

“Yeah I guess I’ll have to call off the marching band and the flash-mob dancers now though” he teases with a smirk. “Unless you want me to take it back and-” he goes to reach for the ring but you snatch the box out of reach, clutching it to your chest.

“Not on your life pal” you playfully threaten.

“Can I at least put it on you then?” he laughs. “That is, if you’re saying yes? Wait, let me…” he trails off and scoots off the bed again only to kneel down on one bent knee beside it. He reaches up and turns you so you’re facing him and a huge dopey smile spreads across your lips as you watch him want to do this at least somewhat properly. If anyone asks later you’ll leave out the part where he’s half naked when he popped the question.

“May I have that back, just for a second?” He asks and you oblige him, handing back the box.

He begins with saying your full name and your heart practically flutters in your chest as you take a deep breath, trying to keep your composure and get through this without being a weeping, blubbering mess.

“Would you make me the happiest man alive and be my wife?” he asks, slight tremble in his voice from his nerves and all you can do is give him a face splitting smile before you frantically nod your head and yank him up from the floor, crushing your mouth to his.

“Yes I’ll marry you Francisco Morales” you murmur against his lips between hungry kisses. “About damn time” you tease and he laughs at that as well. He knows he probably should have done this sooner but he’d been waiting to save up enough money to get you the perfect ring he knew you deserved.

Frankie regretfully pulls away from your mouth to carefully pull the ring from the box and place it on your finger before he holds both your hands in his and lets out a big sigh of relief.

“You make me so happy” he confesses, leaning down so his forehead rests against yours. “I’m sorry if I’ve ever given you any reason to doubt that, but you’re the best thing in my life. Best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making sure that you and this little one feel the same way about me”

“I will always feel the same way about you Frankie” you promise, eyes slipping shut as another tear escapes which Frankie gently brushes away with the pad of his thumb.

“You’re sure you’re still gonna love me when I’m even more of a pain in the ass in a few months than I am now?” You ask playfully and Frankie huffs a laugh but nods his head affirmatively.

“We’re locked in now baby” Frankie affirms, gently twisting the ring around your finger. “It’s you and me”

“Plus one” you add, looking down to your tummy and Frankie laughs.

“Plus one” he confirms. “And maybe down the line… more than one?” he asks playfully, moving a little closer and nuzzling into your throat before he begins to plant hot little open-mouthed kisses there. You laugh wholeheartedly, your head tossing backwards. Leave it to Frankie to learn five minutes ago that you’re barely pregnant and already asking you if you want another. You really did love him with all your heart and you don’t think you’ve ever been happier than in this moment.

And it turns out that was the truth, that was your happiest moment, until about seven months later a new one replaces it as you hold your beautiful daughter in your arms for the first time. Frankie is at your side with his forehead resting against yours as a tiny hand clutches around one of his large fingers, the one that happens to have a shiny gold band around it now, and tears flow freely down his cheeks. He’d barely gotten there in time for your unexpectedly two-week-early delivery, but he’d made it. Thankfully he was well enough known around the hospital by this point that they allowed him to land his bird on the helipad on the roof before he jumped out and let his co-pilot take over for him as he rushed inside to find you.

It turned out Frankie had found his calling not long after your little unexpected surprise all those months ago. His reflections on the direction his life was going, coupled with your exciting news of having an addition to your family, gave him the push he needed to have his career together in a way that was both rewarding and challenging to him and after a few months of long days and intense training he was accepted into the local Red Cross chapter’s Search and Rescue Program as a Lead Pilot. He loved his job again. He was proud of what he did and most importantly knew that his family could be proud of him too. It allowed him to give back and to serve his community and country the way he always felt he was meant for, except now he could do it and still be home in time for dinner most nights, not shipping out to god knows where for months at a time as he had done in the service.

“Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Morales” the doctor beamed at the two of you, though neither of you could take your gaze off the tiny bundle in your arms long enough to look back at her. Frankie mumbled a polite ‘thank you’ towards her before pressing a kiss into your temple.

“You did it baby” he murmurs against your skin and you can feel the smile spread across his lips.

“We did it baby” you correct him, turning your head just slightly to press a kiss to the underside of his chin. “We made this beautiful, perfect angel” you sigh, nuzzling back in towards your daughter, inhaling that euphoric ‘new baby smell’ you’d up until now only read about but now completely understood.

“My girls” Frankie sighs, heart swelling with content at how goddamn lucky he got in his life.

“Thank you for loving me” he confesses, lips pressed to your temple.

Taglist: @nerdieforpedro @suzdin @iamasaddie @boliv-jenta @chronically-ghosted @vabeachazn @anotherpedrolover @axshadows @pedroshotwifey @survivingandenduring @theywhowriteandknowthings

#frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales x reader #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #frankie morales #triple frontier #ppcu #ppcu fanfiction

[opinated-user]

big rant incoming, but i got pulled into this rabbit hole out of nowhere when youtube suddenly started recommending me videos about all the crap surrounding lily. i haven't followed her for a couple years now, but i did for quite a few at one point, and it's been... definitely a trip to see everything. a lot of processing happening, and i wanted to put my experience somewhere, in case anyone else can relate, and hopefully find comfort in solidarity.

i don't remember exactly when i found lily, but i was in my late teens-early 20s when i did. at the time i found her content, i was very freshly grappling with the realization that i'd been abused numerous times throughout my childhood by various people. and, as a result, i had a lot of anger, resentment, and other super complicated emotions and reactions to deal with.

at first, finding lily's content at that pivotal time, was really comforting and vindicating. because she was affirming all the negative stuff i was feeling was okay to feel... normal even. and feeling that way in response to abuse didn't make me a bad person. it just... made me a person who was reacting to abuse.

there were also a lot of opinions i agreed with her on. one of which being that the normalization of the q word, as a person who grew up in the southern us and has had it violently used against me numerous times, makes me super uncomfortable. so, her video about it was... again, validating. gratifying. vindicating. etc. (though i would like to clarify that i have zero issue with people who use it for themselves. they have every right to. i just can't handle having it used on me, directly or indirectly with group usage)

i commented on the video to express that. i don't even remember what i said exactly. i know i mentioned my identities within the lgbt community, and that her video made me feel valid for being so viscerally uncomfy with people calling me the q word, instead of the words i openly identity with. and she... deleted the comment. twice.

still no idea why to this day. as far as i remember, i completely agreed with her, and validated her points. but, still, twice. my comment got deleted. and i know it was deleted specifically because it was posted when i sent it, and then i went to check if she'd ever replied to it or seen it, and couldn't find it again.

it really fucking hurt, honestly. and, like i said, still to this day i can't think of even a convoluted reason why she'd delete my comment fully supporting her. i thought it was a mistake at first, but the second time it happened, it was clear she was deleting it herself. and, after that, i realized i felt the exact same invalidation and rejection i did from my abusers. i felt that exact same sinking "oh god, what did i do?!" panic i did from my abusers. i felt the exact same spiraling confusion because my logic brain knew i didn't actually do anything wrong at all. all of that shit.

and then, i realized that honestly, her content itself sorta made me feel that way, too. there were numerous times when i was still an avid watcher of her content that i had to stop watching because it started to get triggering. it made me feel like i was being yelled at. and it was especially triggering when that happened during a section i disagreed with. or when i felt like whatever she was talking about wasn't the huge deal she was making it out to be.

it's kinda wild i got put down this rabbit hole now, honestly. i've been dealing with people exactly fucking like her in my personal life all year. nasty, selfish cowards with superiority complexes the size of jupiter, and victim complexes the size of the whole damn universe.

something always felt off to me about somehow SO many people from her past had the same experiences with her that painted her in a negative light. and, her only response to it was twisting the narrative to be like 'no, actually, THEY suck'. and just refusing to ever take accountability for even something as minor as not crediting artists she steals from for images in her videos, up to full on abuse and grooming allegations. when i was too young to understand the red flags those were, i brushed it off. but, now, after dealing with so many people like her... i feel bad i ever believed that crap for a second.

she reminds me of the people i've dealt with recently, too. they all pulled that same shit on me. they beat me to a bloody pulp during the worst, darkest year of my life, and then had the gall to accuse me of being the one with a victim complex, who makes everything about me, and demands everyone grovel at my feet when all i ever expected from them was bare minimum decency and compassion during a very traumatizing, and dark time in my life.

it's truly sickening to see someone like that with such a significant audience. especially when she has done so many horrible, horrible things. and, has the gall to be someone with a victim complex that turns her audience on anyone who dares to call her out. even with evidence. she always has an excuse to dodge blame, but never any reason to take accountability.

i never actively engaged with her directly outside of that comment, so i obviously am not a direct victim of her, but even as a very surface level consumer of her content on youtube and on here, she definitely contributed to completely fucking with my head for a number of years.

i apologize to all of her victims for ever believing her crap at face value. and, i hope you are all doing well. those of you that run these blogs as well, please take good care of yourselves. i know firsthand how exhausting it is to have to be a log keeper for your abuser's misdeeds, but you are truly doing a huge service to people by making who she truly is known. you've helped make all this processing a lot easier for me, and i'm sure have prevented numerous others from becoming her victims, or being further victimized by her. thank you for that.

i wish i could say i hope she learns from her mistakes and gets a grip, but if my run-ins with people like her are any indication... even if she had the rudest awakening with every single ounce of karma she's stacked up for herself, if she hasn't learned by now... it's cause she's aware and doesn't care, or straight up is so far up her own ass she'll never see it.

i at least hope the rise of people critical of her on here and youtube helps the narrative shift. especially with the addition of courtney's testimonies against her. y'all deserve that narrative shifted peace of mind.

.

#lily orchard

[ibrithir-was-here]

I'm kinda feeling like crap lately too so might not be the best person to give advice but here goes:

Our modern western life is really not conducive to mental or emotional health (or really any kind of health for that matter) so the unfortunate effect is that what should be a 'normal' state really takes so much work to achieve.

Social media, news, click baits - we are constantly under attack by things that harm us mentally, whether it's chasing that dopamine or overwhelmed by what is going on in the world or just the constant negativity we're surrounded by.

And then there's just the inescapable realities - a loved one is sick or our relationships are going through a rough patch... and sometimes we just don't have the support around us to weather even the minor things.

So here is my (sus) advice on how to cope:

However hard it is, however vulnerable it makes you feel, find someone you can open up to. I know that feeling of "I have nobody" but sometimes it's because we're too afraid of being annoying or driving someone away to be willing to truly open up, but I think most people *are* willing to listen to their friends and we're just too worried to give them that benefit.

Get off the internet. I know this is *hard* because so often we're turning to the internet to cope or find connections or talk with friends, but time away *is* so so so important. Even going into autumn (in the north anyway) it's good to just go outside, breathe in fresh air, listen to birds, just do something that gives our emotions a chance to settle down again.

If outside is truly not an option, then a quiet place - maybe beside a window, maybe put on 'nature sounds' in the background - and try your hand at meditation. I hate how much this actually can help because it feels like it should be a scam but it really can help the brain recover from some of the barrage we're getting.

Walking or any kind of mild exercise, the body and brain are inexorably linked, and doing good things for the body can truly help. One trick I've employed with myself is "If I were my own pet how would I treat me?" and then do your absolute best to be the best "you" owner ever. That means going for walkies, drinking water, eating well, getting plenty of sleep and affection.

Journaling can help get the thoughts and feelings out of your head.

But I think the best thing I can offer is no matter what it is, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how bad you feel... it *does* get better. The pain will ease in time, the brain can be taught that it's not always red alert time, for all the horror in the world the march of time is still moving toward better.

I just want you to know that you are seen and you are worth the effort it takes. Your life and happiness are worth the effort and I know there are people out there who would love to put forth that effort if they are given the chance.

I hope good things for you

(you don't have to publish this if you don't want, it's alright.)

Thank you 🥲💛💛💛 I'm actually tearing up at work here. These are all really good points, and a lot of what others have said to, and I really should be better at remembering them 😅

I'm gonna read over this again once I'm off work tonight and yeah, start trying to be more intentional with my self care. Thank you again 💛

#to remember #mental health #self care #physical health

[natashas-girl]

If you’re happy part 4

A/n: I've been putting this off for so long. . .

Summary: yelena tells natasha that y/n is not ok

Tw: death

Natasha's POV:

Sometimes i still think about y/n. I know that it's silly. I don't. . . I'm not in love with her, but i still love her. Maria is the love of my life, of course. And I'm really glad that y/n gave us that push, because we were both too decent to admit our feelings to each other while i had a girlfriend. And now. . .

Now we were getting married. 

But i still care about her. 

I'm kind of worried, actually. 

"Natasha?" A voice asked. 

"Yelena? What are you doing here?" I spun around, wasn't yelena a wanted criminal or something?

"You need to talk to y/n before she does something stupid." 

"Wait a second. . . You know where y/n is?"

-time skip-

Y/n's POV:

Shit, why were you doing this. You couldn't run from natasha. And if she found you. . .

Well, that would be a shitty disaster. 

You reached a gas station. Hmm, this would have to do. After digging through the backseat, you came up with a piece of paper note and a pen. Score. 

You hastily scribbled on the note:

          Dear Natasha, 

Please, if your reading this, stop looking for me. Trust me, I'm not worth it. Please, just be happy. Live your life. Start a family with the woman you love. Maybe save the world if it needs it. 

All the best,

Y/n

You paused a second before adding on the back:

We both know that it's too late. 

You walked into the gas station and asked the guy at the counter to give it to the first person who asked about a y/n. Hopefully it would work, thats what happened in movies. 

Hopefully she wouldn't find you. 

Natasha POV:

Yelena told me where she was but she wouldn't go with me. She said that i needed to do this alone. I mean, she was right, but it would've been nice if she had done more than dump me at y/n's door. 

I silently walked in, because i didnt want to startle her and make her run away. But. . .

She wasn't there.

Shit.

I couldn't find her car, either. 

Y/n POV:

Oh, shit. Oh, shit shit shit.

There. Right there. There was a car. Where the fuck did that car come from? It was a completely empty road a minute ago. . . Wait- was there no one in that car? what the fuck-

You pressed the pedal as hard as you could, but it was no use, you were already flying toward the car. 

Natasha POV:

I found her note. Which, if anything, let me know that i was on the right track. I needed to find her before something happened. 

Y/n POV:

Your car was upside down. On the road with you in it. 

This is probably how a lot of people die, you thought. Because you were dying. And you knew that. You just had to stay alive until Natasha found you. . . 

Hurry up, hot assassin. 

Natasha POV:

Uh oh. That looked like her car. It was upside down, on the road. And. . . Yep, there she was. It was funny how i only realized now that i hadn't seen her since she dumped me. Well, not funny. Nothing was funny now. Because. . . Y/n was dying. 

This was all my fault. 

I should have checked up on her more. I shouldn't have let her leave. I should have refused to break up with her. I should have shown more affection towards her.

I shouldn't have introduced her to Maria. 

"Y/n. . ." I whispered. Her eyes popped open. 

"Natasha. . . You came back."

And then i watched as her eyes faded and her breaths slowly stopped. 

I had to hear it when she whispered a barely audible, "i love you." 

And i had to live with that. 

I didn’t read like half of what i wrote so please tell me if its weird

I wrote about y/n driving but i have never driven in my life. Because ✨public transportation✨

School has been beating the crap outta me and real classes haven't even started yet. 

@justyourwritter69 @thatonebrazilian @alianovnasposts

#natasha romanoff #marvel #lgbtq #nat #natasha #black widow #marvel women #mommy natasha #natalia alianovna romanova #natasha x reader #natasha x you #yelena belova #blackhill #maria hill x natasha romanoff #maria x natasha #natasha x maria #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff x you #natasha and yelena #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #fanfiction #wattpad #maria hill #natalia romanova #natasha romonova #the snap #Angst #natasha angst #natasha romanoff x reader angst

[orange-ghost]

Long post? I've been thinking a lot about Sia's "Music" lately. No, I'm not trying to insult her. I'm talking about the film. Her diagnosis has been all over my timelines, and most people are condemning her for the film's content nonetheless.

I think all the other big Autism accounts have criticized her well enough that I don't need to add on. As they should. They've all said what I wanted to say & I personally won't be forgiving her so easily. But the "Music" fiasco... actually reminds me of how PAPERBOY (my webcomic) was born, in a way?

Matthew & his classmates have lived in my head since 2015. And I remember that when I started PB, I actually didn't know I was Autistic yet, either. At the time, all I knew was that I was a kid in Special Ed, that disability was an unspeakable topic, and that a lot of the people involved in it treated me badly.

Kids' brains are like sponges-- they soak up whatever's around them. And I was raised drowning inside of an awful program. One that didn't show nor teach us respect, acceptance, or anything like that.

I resented, looked down at "certain" kids with the more noticeable disabilities, for "making SPED kids look bad! You're the reason we ALL get seen as less than!" And the thought that I could ever really count as a disabled kid was my worst nightmare. Because in my head, being disabled would mean that all this abuse was justified. And that I was truly & utterly inferior.

And I'd wring out all that nasty thought-process water. It would spill onto the pages of notebooks that became PAPERBOY's first drafts. And oh, believe me, it stained.

But, unlike Sia, I was a kid then. She's grown. She also put that shitty story up for all to see, while mine was restricted to notebooks. And it was only a year or two after I learned about being diagnosed as a baby that the ND movement(s) started blowing up online. So I looked into it, and like... it opened my 14-year-old mind up a lot.

So you know what I started doing? CHANGING THE STORY. Writing a better one. One that was much less hateful. And I changed the core message from "fuck disability, and fuck Special Ed too!" to "being different is not something we should feel punished and pain for. We are a community. And we deserve better."

Autism is neutral & one if the most human things I can think of. It's not to be demonized or glorified. It's not a tragedy, and it's not always some amazing miracle, either. We are people, not props. We deserve to be spoken & storytold about realistically. And we should be embraced at the end of the day. You need to be willing to learn how to listen & respect life's Autistics as they are.

Sia can't undo the real life harm she & her ableism inflicted. I can't, either. But... she CAN choose to change, grow up & out of it, and maybe lead her audience with her. Hopefully, with her new diagnosis, all that time offline, and a crap ton of self-reflection, she can. I mean, I managed, and I'm nowhere near as life-experienced, smart, OR skilled as she is!

Truth be told, I kinda hope she makes another Autism movie? With a big writing team of experienced, Autistic storytellers who know what they're doing. Cast Autistic actors. And instead of writing about somebody that she clearly doesn't see as an equal, she can actually level with them & write them a better story, too. "Music" was dedicated to somebody, right? I think that Somebody deserved a story where they're not just seen, but they're heard. And spotlighted! (Music certainly wasn't.) So... why not try again?

Or hey, maybe not even that, maybe she can try writing from her own experiences as an Autistic woman this time. Growing up undiagnosed, what that was like for her, dealing with a taught self-hatred in a mask that seems to have controlled her life.

I don't know. I like to live my life focusing more on what we CAN do about something instead of doubling down or getting stuck on what we can't. And I think others should, too.

Doubt she's reading this, but like... you've gotta make this right, Sia. Do better. Figure something else out. That's all.

#sia #sia music #sia music film #autism #autistic #actually autistic #actually autism #thoughts #thought dump #Music movie #Music sia #autistic artist #being autistic #internalized ableism #ableism #ableist violence #ableist people #ableist language cw #special education #special ed #undiagnosed disability #disability #undiagnosed autism #undiagnosed autistic #disabled creator #disabled writer #self improvement

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

Shoe history: The personal side

I'm trying to break my posts into smaller, more digestible lumps of less than a thousand words each, so this one is boring technical stuff about my starting search parameters when looking for shoes to make and techniques to use. My chronic hyper-pronation and a significant leg length discrepancy (as well as some stuff about my ankle) are tough for me to accommodate.

I've got a lot of research to write up about shoes and their history that isn't really useful to me, except as examples of what won't work right now. Western fashion has been absolutely dominated by high heels since they burst onto the scene in the late 1500s, in a history that has both fascinated and surprised me. I'll write it up, but in conclusion, high heels are absolutely not for me.

Mooostly because I already have uhhh, a lot going on with my heels already.

The biggest thing I need to accommodate for in any pair of shoes is that one of my legs is two inches (5 cm) longer than the other. I turned down surgeries to prevent this when I was in elementary school, and damn I regret that now.

General reference points: Very few humans have perfectly identical leg lengths. According to research I've seen, leg length difference (LLD) of up to 3 cm is usually mild and only rarely requires treatment like corrective shoe inserts. LLDs greater than 6 cm are considered "severe" and corrective surgery is usually recommended.

I sit in the "moderate" LLD category of 3-6cm; doctors were concerned when I was five, thought I was fine when I was 8, but by the time I was 20, the strain on my knees and hips from walking unevenly was quite literally crippling. That's the era I walked with a cane, looked into wheelchairs, and took two years of wearing a 7/8" (2.2 cm) shoe lift before my pain abated enough in every joint but one to figure out that also, I'd been walking on a torn ligament in my knee for a couple years too.

(The day that I tore it, I was already in screaming amounts of pain from hip to toe, so I noticed it less than I might have. I honestly should have gone ahead and gotten a walker or wheelchair during that period, but my doctor then was very NO IF YOU GET A MOBILITY DEVICE ALL YOUR MUSCLES WILL ATROPHY AND THEN YOU'LL DIE. I should probably have a walker/wheelchair/scooter now, but I've so carefully excluded things that require lots of walking or standing out of my life that it never feels that pressing a need for my money. But I digress.)

For me, this means an orthopedic build-up:

(image source)

Usually, this means that I take my shoes to a nice person who carefully slices off the bottom of the sole on one of them, and then glues layers of foam to the bottom of the shoe. If the sole is thick enough that the bottom of the sole can be salvaged, he re-attaches it; if it isn't, he puts some other form of rubber soling on the bottom.

(Petty: This always makes me feel very selfconscious when walking in snow or mud. "Crap, I can't commit a crime here! I have mismatched shoes so Sherlock Holmes would catch me for sure.")

(Possibly more valid but also petty: The material used to create the lift is usually EVA foam, which comes in a limited range of solid colours. This makes matching build-up material to a shoe that's anything but white or black extremely difficult. Paint on the EVA tends to scuff off easily, and rubber paints that work on the rest of the sole go kinda weird on the EVA. EVA picks up paint and discolouring stains at a different rate than the soling around it, and responds differently to cleaning. This means that even when I find nice shoes that can be built up, the build-up feels glaringly obvious to me, so even if other people don't notice, it destroys a lot of my own pleasure in them.)

A shoe lift does increase my risk of stepping wrong and twisting my ankle, like with any platform shoe. This was especially true when I first started wearing one. It was safest for me to wear hi-tops or ankle boots that provided my ankle with a lot of stability from top to bottom, even though the ones I could afford (and that came small enough to fit me) were generally garish, juvenile, and absolutely not in any fashion I really wanted to wear. I hated shoes; shoes made me miserable. I tried not to think about them and whined when one pair fell apart and needed replacement. That was life.

And god, between the LLD, the bum knee, and the hyperpronation, it took me years and years before the ankle of my short leg could function normally. It was hypermobile in some directions, and hypomobile in others.

Basically: My muscles, tendons, and ligaments had all grown so used to the skewed way I walked and stood, that a lot of them were too short to comfortably reach the "ideal" standing position. It's easier to fix muscles that are too long, because building up muscles through exercise is basically asking them to contract and grow to get better at contracting. But while muscles will bitch when they're stretched but mostly get used to it, the entire point of tendons and ligaments is to not stretch. They're the body's great stabilizers. So the day my podiatrist got the x-ray back showing a 2" discrepancy in my foot, he said, "We're not going to put you on a 2" lift today. We're going to take at least five years to get you there."

(I'd like to take this moment to shout out my illiotibial band and extensor hallucis longus muscle, which were the real MVPs of a team that worked to make my life a living hell for those five straight years. I should have been in massage therapy every other week, but who can afford that, lol amirite? I started doing yoga, got massages as often as I could afford them, and made heat pads in my bed and a drinking glass, pitcher of water, and bottle of painkillers on my dresser a permanent part of my bedroom decor.)

I worry that people will take this blog as a how-to guide on how to make their own shoes for their own nonstandard feet. It is not. It is a guide to how to figure out how to make one's own shoes for one's own custom feet, so I absolutely need to explain just what that process has been thus far. It feels like my history is in itself a cautionary tale to be careful when tinkering with your own shoes. Even a small adjustment can affect a lot. If you're in pain, you need to know why before you can figure out how to make it better. I needed examinations by doctors both general and specialized, x-rays, MRIs, gait assessments, and functional assessments before we had any kind of grip on things, and it has taken shoe lifts, custom orthotics, ten pairs of shoes, dozens of hours of physiotherapy, hundreds of hours of massage, three exercise modalities, fifteen years, and half my liver to get to where I am, trying to make shoes that might fuck me up.

Please, for the love of GOD, do NOT use this blog's advice to make shoes for other people's nonstandard feet. I urge you to make use of every medical professional, medical resource, scientific study, and experienced shoemaker in existence before you rely on me. "Fuckups trained and competent medical professionals made when making shoes for me" could be an entirely separate post, so imagine how much worse things could be without all their training. Modern medicine has been essential to figuring out what the fuck is wrong with me, and figuring out which shoe modifications will help me and how they will work.

(And do not give me that "Well back in the OLD DAYS people didn't need--" crap. You know what happened to people like me back when we went barefoot or wore shoes made by the town cobbler? We were called cripples and we walked with sticks. If we needed to get someplace we couldn't walk to and were lucky, someone strong could carry us, or we could ride on an animal or in a vehicle. If we weren't lucky, we dragged ourselves around on the ground and didn't get very far.

I love the past, with its depth and richness. I love dressing up in its old clothes to feel what it felt like. I know that people with disabilities have always been loved and valuable members of human society. But it's precisely from knowing the history of disability that I can truly appreciate just how powerful and revolutionary modern medical science is. It's only by actually finding my spiritual forbears, people with disabilities like and unlike mine who lived centuries ago, that I can understand just how precious the unearned gift I have been given is, living in an era where scientific knowledge and medical treatment can benefit me.

#it's shoetime baby

[biaswreckingfics]

*135 Random Prompts*

Send me a prompt and a member of your choosing, and I'll write a short story/drabble with your pick. If you'd like to make it an AU, just tell me in the ask! Also, the asks get posted with the story, so please go on anon if you want to remain private ❤️

Groups available: EXO, ATEEZ, The Boyz, 2PM, Victon, and officially TXT.

Angst

(Where I do my best to make you cry)

1. This is real life! You don't get to restart things when you make a mistake!

2. I regret everything. All of it. You, me, what we did...

3. She was crying because of you!

4. I know for a fact that you're not "fine".

5. I want you to list every lie you ever told me. Then I'll forgive you.

6. I think we need to talk.

7. We can't be friends anymore... I will always see you as something else.

8. I don't like them. I like you.

9. We're not just friends and you fucking know it.

10. Walk out that door and we're through.

11. Well... yell, scream, say something. Anything.

12. I think you're just afraid to be happy.

13. Please, come home. I miss you.

14. I didn't come here to watch you flirt with other people.

15. So, I'm not allowed to be upset that he's hanging all over you?

15. Don't do this here. You're making a scene.

17. Do you not trust me?

18. Did it ever occur to you that you're hurting me too?

19. We should be friends instead.

20. They warned me about you. I should have listened.

21. You did a wonderful job convincing people that you love me. I almost fell for it.

22. I'm at the hospital.

23. You make me feel like I'm not good enough.

24. You walked away. Not me.

25. My mom asked about you again.

26. I just came to say goodbye.

28. Don't talk anymore.

28. When did you stop loving me?

29. When was the last time you said you loved me and meant it?

30. For what it's worth, I never gave up on you.

31. If you think I don't feel anything for you, then you're more stupid than I thought.

Fluff

(Where I attempt to make your heart swell)

32. I've been thinking about you a lot lately.

33. My family thinks we are dating.

34. Just please, be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.

35. I think I'm in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me.

36. You're blushing.

37. I hope you know by now how much you mean to me.

38. Yes, I have feelings for you. Moving on...

39. I like my shirt on you. It looks cute.

40. Will you just marry me already?

41. How long has it been since you slept?

42. You have the most amazing eyes.

43. Is that my shirt?

44. The closest thing to love at first sight I've ever experienced happened when I first laid eyes on you.

45. Did you tell the person I was gonna go out with that we're dating?

46. If I asked you to stay, would you?

47. Don't go on that date.

48. Of course, I noticed. I notice everything about you.

49. You're kind of cute, you know that?

50. Do you ever wonder if we've met in another lifetime?

51. Can you come with me? I don't want to go on my own.

52. You're cuteness is making everyone stare. Stop it.

53. You make me proud, you know that, right?

54. You've always been my favorite.

55. I like the way your hand fits in mine.

56. Wait, don't pull away. Not yet.

57. No, mom! Don't tell him/her I said that about him/her!

58. You're pretty.

59. I can't get you out of my head.

60. You know I'm always here for you, right?

Suggestive

(Where I leave you begging for more)

61. Come over here and make me.

62. Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?

63. Kiss me.

64. You're so fucking hot when you're mad.

65. I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice.

66. I'm yours, in every way you'll have me.

67. You wanted me to walk in on you.

68. You know you want it, sweetheart.

69. You're not as quiet as you think you are.

70. There are people in the other room.

71. You're so perfect, and I'm so fucking lucky.

72. I've been thinking about you all day.

73. I like it when you say my name like that.

74. Let me show you how much I missed you.

75. I think I've made my intentions clear.

76. Don't tempt me.

77. I know you think about me at night.

78. You have no idea how much I want you.

79. I'm really in the mood to tease you today.

80. I love being with you like this.

81. Damn, you're such a tease.

82. You better stop being so hot before I'm tempted to do things.

83. You won't believe how many naughty fantasies I've had about you.

84. This isn't what it looks like... unless you like it, in which case, it's exactly what it looks like.

85. Let me show you how much I want/love you.

86. If you want it so bad, you'll have to work for it.

87. I just want to make you feel good.

88. Let me show you why you should stay in bed.

89. Can you help me with this zipper?

90. If you want to keep sitting on my lap, you have to stop wiggling around like that.

Surprise/Misc.

(Where the good au prompts are hidden/where you give me free reign)

91. Have you lost your damn mind?!

92. I almost lost you.

93. This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you've ever had.

94. You need to wake up because I can't do this without you.

95. Please don't tell me you got arrested again.

96. Sometimes you need to make your sarcasm a little more clear.

97. I must've been an awful person in my past life.

98. Oh, God. That's your "I did something bad" face.

99. This. Never. Happened.

100. If we get caught, I'm blaming you.

101. Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now?

102. Can you please come get me?

103. Oh, God. You're bleeding.

104. I don't know where I am. Help me.

105. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn't have to go to such extremes.

106. Now that I've made it weird, I'm going to make my exit.

107. You're so cute when you're struggling.

108. You don't mean as much to me as you think you do.

109. There's only one bed.

110. There's so much blood.

111. If I die, I'm going to haunt you.

112. She's hiding behind the sofa.

113. Who gave you that black eye?

114. Did they hurt you?

115. You know when your phone buzzes, it means I'm trying to talk to you, right?

116. Why is there a pregnancy test in the trash?

117. ...or we could make out...

118. Just please open your eyes.

119. You almost died and you're making jokes?

120. Whatever you do, do not close your eyes.

121. I know you're tired, but you have to stay awake.

Spooky

(Where I give my ghouls that spooktober story they crave or you can check out my Thrills and Chills masterlist)

122. Whatever you do, do not turn around.

123. I know what you did.

124. When I let go, run for your life.

125. Don't open your eyes.

126. Go, and don't look back.

127. You know I'm not human, don't you?

128. You poisoned this, didn't you?

129. What did you do to me?

130. It's only a scratch...

131. Go ahead and pray. See what good it does.

132. He's... he's dead.

133. You can't kill him... His kind doesn't die.

134. Did you hear that?

135. You're not real... None of this is real.

#yes ive added txt to my writing list #prompt list #drabble game

[alexplayssimsnstuff]

Questions, thoughts on a lot of Sims' backstories or character traits in 4 being changed? Like Nina & Dina Caliente's personalities having been swapped? Or their new mom? Or the fact that none of the character's pre-set relationships match their household bios? And have you seen/thoughts on MatPat's recent (2 month old now) Bella theory?

All good questions, and you deserve a response.

I don't know who Katrina Caliente think she is but like--I have a headcanon that in that AU, she's like, Flamenco's second wife or something and not supposed to be Nighat Caliente. Fun fact, you can't name a sim Nighat and put it on the gallery. I understand the flag that may result from that name--but Nighat is A REAL NAME. I hate it. If I have a save file where I focus on the pre-mades, I delete her every time. If not, she usually marries Marcus Flex and that's that. As far as the relationships go--just plain laziness on the devs' ends. In 2, you could tell that people actually played around a little bit before they shipped the final product out and spent some time in game. In 4, they literally just built them, put them in houses, made up some crap, and shipped it out. Three's the same way, but at least it has a slightly played with feeling to it instead of dropping them flat on the lot and never playing with it. I think the Dina/Nina personality situation is equal parts lazy devs/difference of interpretation on who the characters are. I've been playing a lot of 2 lately, and Dina actually makes for a great mother and friend when she needs to, but she's still a heartless golddigging betty (I love that for her) and Nina has her mean streak, but has a heart of gold.

As far as MatPat goes--I've seen it. Boy, I've seen it. And I wanted to make a post about it, but honestly? I didn't because I was just more annoyed than anything and I didn't want to come off as--I guess off my rocker is the best phrase for it? I was really upset. Back in my late teens, I used to watch his minecraft theory videos almost religiously, and still use those theories in my gameplay today. But the fact that I spent a whole entire six months on something during a highly stressful, dangerous period of my life and then published it in a point in my life where I didn't know where tomorrow would take me so YEAH, it's gonna have issues, and then Mattyboy comes along two years later, shits on it, and then spits out some half-baked crap that you can tell, he has very little, if any experience with the Sims and absolutely no love for it? The Bella Goth thing was something I've been personally invested in since I was six years old and then he comes in and corporate memes on it in a rush job. It's frustrating to say the least, and uhhhh I hadn't watched his videos in a long time but I actually unsubscribed from him because of it lol.

That's okay, I'm actually trying to teach myself how to use Premiere Pro so I can take this all to Youtube and brush up on some things that need brushing up.

[pedanticat]

What’s your opinion on the whole Endeavor redemption arc I’m personally not fond of it since it’s disturbingly similar to how MLB treats Hawksmoth and Andre (maybe even worse in some cases) and I wanna hear your thoughts on the matter

Sorry for the late reply! This is a pretty big ask and I had to think about how to answer this question properly. Now much like Gabriel, Endeavor was a character whom I wanted to see get punched in the face but even more so since I was horrified by the hell and abuse he put Todoroki through. I desperately wanted to see this dude be disbarred from being a hero and face the consequences of his actions. And keep in mind, when all of this was revealed, it was during a time when Gabriel still had some redeeming qualities. So between the two, I liked Gabriel more.

But then Horikoshi did something unexpected with Endeavor. He set him on a path of redemption. Or at least that is what it seemed like at first before it became clear that it was more so a path of atonement. When he finally became the number #1 hero, it was only because All Might was forced to retire. So even though he had reached the goal he had always strived for, he couldn't even enjoy it since he didn't accomplish it on his own merits. And because it's such a hollow victory and how the general populace didn't accept him as the new number #1 hero, he was forced to face all the mistakes he's made in life. So because of this, he began to self-improve so that he can be the kind of hero that the citizens of Japan deserved and the kind of father he should have been to his children.

Now I'll admit, seeing all of this made me feel weird. I've seen my fair share of redemption arcs involving characters who have frankly done way worse things than Endeavour. Many of those characters were full-blown villains who had committed mass murder. Yet Endeavour was a new experience since I'd never seen the redemption of a character who was abusive which weirdly made me feel more uncomfortable than a character who commits mass murders. I think it all boils down to the fact that the things Endeavour did in the series feel more real and a lot more personal as opposed to seeing someone like Vegeta just blow up a building full of people with a ki blast. But then I thought thinking about how it would be hypocritical to believe that people can change but then exclude certain people because of their actions even if it's clear that they're 100% genuinely trying to change.

So with all of this in mind, I would say Endeavour is a way more layered and better-written character than Gabriel and Andre. Yes, when the series started, he was an abusive piece of crap just like them. But Endeavor at least came to a genuine realization of how awful he had become and has genuinely put in the effort to make up for the mistakes of his past. Yet at the same time, he'll accept if his family wants nothing to do with him at all because he recognizes that they have every right to feel the way they do and aren't entitled to forgive him.

I 100% understand if even with all of this in mind, people would hate Endeavor, and that is valid! But compare to Gabriel and Andre, at least Endeavor got proper layers to his character along with being written consistently.

#pc answers #my hero academia #enji todoroki #Endeavor #miraculous ladybug #gabriel agreste #andre bourgeois #MHA #ml gabriel agreste #ml andre

[desertedvault]

i'm doing a lot lately to try and mediate the toxic feelings of resentment, betrayal and paranoia in my life. i am upset at how I've been treated, fair enough, but I lose the moral high ground (truly, or in the eyes of others) by getting too obsessively angry about stuff. my long-suffering followers will all have seen me dump some bile on this blog.

anyway, temporarily quitting drinking, even though I don't regard myself as an alcoholic (although that depends on definition...), has really, really helped. alcohol really allows the mind to magnify annoyance and create toxic thinking patterns. i'd go out to the pub, talk about stuff to try and get it off my chest, become enraged, vindictive and self-pitying, then continue to think like that for weeks.

initially i quit alcohol specifically to avoid those nights where I'd be really tearing into someone who wasn't there, or collapsing in on myself. i felt an argument with a friend coming and didn't want it to happen drunk (I don't think it'll happen at this point). but i think not drinking is helping with my anger on a day to day basis as well.

i haven't drunk anything stronger than 0.5% (and those only rarely) for a month, and besides two days I did the same in January (the bottle of wine i bought tasting like expired Ribena helped me stay off it) before deciding to do so again after seeing what drinking was doing to me. I'm not concerned about the volume of alcohol I drink week on week - for me, personally, drinking has become bad where it previously wasn't necessarily, because of the way it makes me feel and act. there's been other phases of this earlier in my life. drinkig is not reliably fun or even okay when I have a lot of unresolved issues and immediate living-situation problems which are weighing heavily on my mind. atm, i'm more likely to get angry and/or depressed when drinking than I once was.

going out and socialising with my friends who always drink whenever they meet is now, arguably, easier, even though I don't do it as much. that's a lot to do with drama, and a boredom with pubs I felt long before i quit drinking.

i am neurodivergent and i frequently get overwhelmed by noise and crowds on nights out, and that probably happens more now that I'm "sober" (more on that later.). possibly. as i've written this i've realised it's more complicated. whatever way you slice it, overall, things are better.

now initially, i felt like I'd lost my main defence against being overwhelmed by quitting drinking, but now I'm not so sure. thinking back, I'd often have moments on nights where, because I couldn't for example hear anything anyone was saying, I'd lose my drunken energy and become anxious and depressed. that must, at times, have prefigured me being johnny buzzkill to everyone else. a few times it definitely made me go home early, and then miss out on fun, which I'd initially viewed as a drawback of not drinking. when not drinking, I do go home earlier as a rule (it's for reasons more complex than a lack of beer, and once again, more on that later) but I feel, so far, like the feeling of being overwhelmed, or of having embarrassed myself, is equally easy to overcome, likely easier.

without drinking it is easier for me to become overwhelmed by say, my friends having an overly animated conversation (three minutes of "YOU DO IT! I BOUGHT THE LAST THREE ROUNDS!" "YEAH ON MY CARD!" "FUCK YOU!" would have been funny to drunk me, but it was unnerving without alcohol), which sucks. but the feeling i get from that isn't as bad as the "urgh my life's a toilet sitting here saying the same crap while the world burns to death hey that's a punk band these guys aren't real punks listening to this indie poser shit but then i'm not a real punk either i suck" etc thinking that will occur when i'm drunk and overwhelmed by something different.

as implied, i am a reluctant stoner, which you'd think would make hanging out with drunk people easier, but I increasingly don't think it does; it's context-dependent at best. for you see, for me that shit is, at this point, like using a dodgy anti-depressant medication that you can get nicked for having, as opposed to it being something that makes me euphoric, which is what alcohol generally does when my mental health isn't terrible. attempting to get euphoria off le grenoise will generally result in my getting too stoned, which for me has most of the same pitfalls (differently expressed) as getting too drunk. that said, it would take a huge amount for me (personally; pissed-off cannabis users are indeed out there, and they're super-duper pissed) to fly into an angry rant while stoned. however, what I really want is to be able to manage these emotions well in a state of sobriety, not to be reliant on smoking weed for it (easier said than done when you're deep into it like me). that's the main reason I aim to go fully sober for at least a couple of months before resuming drinking (which I will be approaching very differently), so I remember how to do stuff without self-medication, and put some skills i've learned while self-medicating (from anger management resources and such) into practice.

the end of that last paragraph was arguably the most important part of this piece on some level. but also, to get back to the matter of the left-handed cigarettes, because you can't just spark up wherever you want, that creates a reason to leave certain events, having to walk somewhere secluded (which is actually kind of a nice mid-party cool-down ritual you could do without a drug problem) to smoke, or leave events entirely where it's not possible to carry pre-rolls around with you. I'm also showing up to stuff later because i get stoned to prep myself and then find i'm disorganised and losing track of time for some reason. having to rush home from work to smoke, and then rush back into town to go out, also fucking sucks. I don't view biffters as negatively as i view alcohol, in terms of how it effects me, or how it effects others. but unnecessary dependency on anything for any reason is dick, and relying on it as a medication which i'm not actually allowed to have is unworkable for me.

so in terms of where i'm at now, even though I am smoking weed, for me that's closer to sobriety, and on a lot of nights out I start a little red round the eyes but am sober by the end, and guess what, it's okay. i go home earlier, but again that's mostly to smoke a joff, which hopefully won't be an issue in a couple of months. and the fact I'm going to places, and staying there when i can't freely use substances for the duration of my visit, is impressive.

recently i went to a gig, where i had a constructive conversation with my housemate and former close friend who's been central to my MH decline and quitting drinking. i made nice with someone i'm unsure of, found someone i thought didn't like me does, enjoyed all three bands. i had an awkward interation with someone i am allowed to hate by my friends, but for complex reasons would rather get on with, but there was no spiralling after that. or after a stranger was randomly hostile to me in a crowd, I didn't get angry (although when her companion apologised, I gently but sarcastically said "have fun" after "it's alright", which was unnecessary). and it was all fine. i had to think heavy thoughts but they were easier to deal with. i drank two pints of pepsi and couldn't sleep, but fuck it it's a learning curve, now i know not to do that. it was a good night

#tw drug abuse alcoholism #had to edit this fucker twice #wanted to set a good example

[the-firebird69]

They have a situation here in punta Gorda there's too many assholes at him everyday following him with the vehicles it's ridiculous it's like a fishbowl and he is in trouble and has been telling us and it's not obvious why she's on locker and he's thinking with daft. He's one guy and they're like 400 of them in cars chasing him around doing insane what they want so it sounds like it looks like. So I got in there to see what it was like for real and it's like this the drive around and say they're ignoring you when they're not. So he's worried so keep telling him a whole bunch of them where he is and ways to leave and I mean and an assholes they're saying hateful things for quite a while okay we need to stop them once again and no doubt at all since you have a handle on it we haven't stopped one of them it's kind of store and it needs to be kicked out this causing all this trouble for our sons and just have a place here it's not even his apartment and he is sitting on it and forced the person to sign the agreement out and I don't want this individual out and have been screaming it just like him and people are ignoring me. I'm going to tell you one more time to get that person the hell out of there if you're not going to get them out I'm going to break him out myself it's so damned annoying having your orders ignored.

Thor Freya

We're actually trying to break him out and have been a solid year and a half and he keeps coming back and he's using power. And we are whittling away at him is using up his people they're all dying for him to stay there and they say they believe in the cause but they just don't know that he's a stupid person using them for no reason he explains it to him pretty good so that's the problem very hard try and that makes this situation worse because there's a bunch of dummies doing it and we found that out it's very angry for him the whole time and these would not let us tell him but now their population is small. And we're capable of telling him that yes it's these warlock doing this crap

We intend on taking them out no we're taking them out we're doing a lot of work and everybody's at it doing the work they have tons and tons of people who are doing it and we're applying himself. And some at maximum effort and we're putting the idiots out of their misery. Time and time again I saw my son had so many disappointments these people would just come along and kill him so flock I've never seen someone so resilient in my life. He's like a creature you just turns around and starts fighting again and sorry to say one day you can't do that to me you're too stupid you get a mess everything up it's been saying it lately these kids have been messed everything off they have to go then he heard last night some real candid stuff out of our son and thinks he can recover we might be able to if you gains a certain amount of control and we've heard this before because it is true and Tom Cruise was elated. And made a mental note that the ship can be turned around by an experience diligent team. And he took a moment had a wept about it cuz he has to fight on their side against Max who seem to have their s*** together and he noticed his son saying they're the only ones these guys look just like us and a lot of behavior on purpose and he started smiling again cuz I don't want to have you they do this thing too you know about just no way you cant. He said to Tom Cruise you said they do this thing to people it's like suicidal thoughts and stuff and he said yeah they hurt a lot of people with that and our son said back they recently killed themselves all of them and I don't know why. So biden went to work to try and figure out what the problem was and he figured out that this guy Trump was not telling you what to do no. And when you said was what he said was these people went a little insane during covid-19 they had a problem understanding reality and may have gotten the sickness and when nuts and left the building and have to go somewhere. And people are making people sick with things and I didn't know what to do and that's what happened. And now they're turning me sites back on Trump for covid-19 and trying to see why he did it. It's on right now people are going after these Trump people everywhere they have to know what the hell is up to all the time it's too much of a baby in the ass his friends with JC so they're exploring what he's doing and they can get down what he's up to now and it is as if it's an emergency they're getting walloped. And that's part of the job. He's falling down but boy what a pain, and the judge from his trial has made a decision and is going to announce it publicly shortly that he is remanded to a criminal court and he doesn't believe it has to go up there and sees it and jumps off the bridge. All the app then give me your harassing our son has distracted him from doing anything helpful his own life about pertinent issues. Now he's saying it's our son's fault our son says probably since I'm trying to nail you and my people are as with anyone under your duress trump. And will get you for what you're saying literally you're forcing us to do the job because your an inane a******. So he's going to go to prison and his career as president is over and he'll start lashing out and we're going to destroy the rest of his forces and that's one motive and motif because he attacks his own and his own kind not necessarily exact race sometimes he kills off his kids this is such a perfect little a******. Right now it's insulting to me so I'm going to send troops in and pull this out here and we really need to just wait too many of his idiots here and by the way it should get them is there an apartment it should take over their apartments by making disappear and houses and get that more aggressive here.

Nuada Arrianna

I'm going to turn it around on you Trump and we're going to crush you that's what we already aren't globally you're on your knees and your weapons don't compare and your armies are Teeny but we're going to make you suffer here. Will take everything from you I'm going to parade you around it's a poor boys that you are. I need this and I have to have it and I said and daughter need it for survival you need to go I'm going to make you go you're going to be dead soon fully

Thor Freya

We have a lot of things to say and nothing to say to you Trump just see you got our attention now you're getting dead

Nuada Arrianna

I can't stand this anymore we should have killed him a long time ago

No I should have killed you Trump you're a fool

Garth

Let him be no we need the money it took tons of money and it's been handling it it sometimes of my money and it's Robbing money out that's his and mine, is Coded I want it back I don't get it back you're all dead you hear the neighborhood

Mac daddy

We don't have time for this I'll tell you I want you to make the time. I'm tired of threatening me and he has no record at all it says I didn't get caught and shut your f****** mouth and kick your head off it's not like I haven't gotten into fights like that it's just you don't know about it cuz you're a s*** head. Well it says that impression believe him but it would care for he doesn't care if I care for it he says I blow up a building myself cuz you're a bunch of pussies get the f*** out of here you dumb a****** if you attack me you're going down and your whole f****** race and clan will be dead. Now I see it everyone hates us

Trump

Haha we would say it every day for years and screaming at you get the f*** out of here we hate you to death and you just get it Joel will tell you to leave cuz we're going to kill you if you don't

Mac

I guess he's Ricky Schroeder doesn't get it he has to be instructed on what to do

Zues Hera

I know something everyone's mad at me and these people are steaming at me getting rid of us and I haven't moved there's a really big reason for it. So what we use the house for okay I used it for housing it seems stupid it probably is it was a trinity test and I got radiated and it didn't help me. So I'm trying to use it against them and it didn't work give me a lot of devices and it's because of it and that's why I'm here

Trump

Nobody is asking you stupid

Zues Hera

Oh you just want me to leave I suppose I'm sheltering people from getting radiation sickness. I had to tell you something that might be stupid

Trump

Anything else you freaking blaring idiot I mean what the f***. What you doing stupid you and your own and you can't figure it out. What happened there so you heated up and do that and so he'd knock you out and it's worked and it's time for you to leave and you won't because you're stupid and very stupid now right now people are trying to large attack and I thought you'd be ready at 5:00 or 6:00 a.m. and that's why you're up cuz you're a gay boy and you're stupid you're not sitting there spewing like a little 2-year-old child because you have this going on he'll be over soon you'll lose you always do you bring the same you seems not to care we need to know why when he says is he's still cold absolutely stupid he does not have any AI he would justify him doing this or anything anything so fake it's a pile of faux stuff it's with the exception of terrorists which are being eliminated due to their actions and spying and so forth. And now my great nephew says that paragraph. Never observed this guy for quite a while and he's right he's an idiot I need to get rid of him he let him get away with all this stuff, he's used to it and it sucks at doing things look at my notes from a couple hundred years ago and I said I wouldn't have these babies put a light bulb in because they break it even if it was for their use exclusively it's proven to be true so want them out I want them out now

Mac

I'm coming in there and we're going to plow them out and pull them out by hand and that's what he's helping us to and they suck very bad these people are horrendous assholes and we need them out now

Nuada Ariana

I see the orders and they're coming across my desk and they are to fire these people immediately and we're sending the troops tons of them are coming in here it's because of their attack and they want to attack here and I want the kidnap our son and we have to stop them. I'm sending them to the populace as well as of right now

Thor Freya

This message is approved to be posted Olympus

I'm going to get them out of there right now I'm sending troops and I'm doubling up and tripling up

Hera

Run the move we've got to get in there and pull them out and they're too dangerous too had too many of them too right near him is too many

We're following orders and doing it

Abomination and She Abomination

[asexual-hugger]

*The night air feels cool on Allison’s skin, and after being inside the stuffy ballroom, it's a welcome relief. She paces back and forth outside the manor, holding up her dress so she can walk steadily in her white heels. At this point, she doesn't care if she stumbles and twists her ankle. Her father had humiliated her with his comments, and both her mother and her husband had been right there*

Allison: Ugh, what is WRONG with him? First he shows up outside my dressing room and embarrasses me in front of my girlfriends, and THEN he has to do it again when Adrian and Mom are there, and just...WHY??? Does he hate vampires for some reason? He didn't seem to happy to find out that I was a vampire, too! And he calls my brand a ‘tattoo.’ (She imitates her father’s voice) ‘Do you know how this must’ve looked at the ceremony?’ Like really? REALLY? Was anyone there saying ANYTHING about why I had a brand on my arm? No! Want to know why? Because everyone there except Mom and Dad was a vampire, and they know vampires get brands to belong to a Clan! I was going to tell him that I was a vampire; I was looking for the right way to say it. He wasn't supposed to find out like this!

*Her movements are forced from her pent-up frustration, and as she stomps again in the other direction, she crashes straight into a broad chest. Strong arms quickly steady her before wrapping tightly around her, pulling her close. Warmth radiates throughout. Gentleness. A steady, thumping heartbeat sounds in her ear. She glances up. A pair of green eyes meet hers, tenderness and love reflected in them. She knows this presence very well*

Allison: Adrian. Crap! How much of that did you hear?

Adrian Raines: Everything. But I'm not complaining. What are you doing out here?

Allison: I should be asking you that.

Adrian Raines: I came out here to check up on my wife and see if she was okay. I saw you leave and I followed you. You looked upset.

Allison: That's an understatement.

Adrian Raines: Let me guess. Your dad? (Allison rolls her eyes)

Allison: Who else? He humiliated me, you, Kamilah, Lily, Serafine and even Mom. I don't know what's gotten into him. He never behaves like this. He's normally really calm.

Adrian Raines: Maybe he was intimidated. A vampire wedding can get pretty dramatic for most humans. I am so sorry about what happened in there. I wish I could take your pain away.

Allison: YOU’RE sorry? Why are YOU sorry? You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one with the screwed-up family. You just stood there and took it like a champ. You didn't even argue with him and he was ripping into you.

Adrian Raines: I've spent over two centuries dealing with difficult people. Your dad wasn't anyone new to me. I've learned how to handle things like a professional. Being a CEO will do that to you after a while. (He wraps his arms around the back of her neck and gazes down at her) I hope you know that I really love you. I wasn't telling your dad that just to be that ‘protector’ person that wants to cover his butt. If I'm being honest, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me in over two hundred years. Your dad will eventually see that. He has to. He'll see how much you really mean to me.

Allison: How did I end up with you?

Adrian Raines: You said yes. Which was the greatest news of my life. (He pauses) Listen. You are not a screw-up. Your family is not a screw-up. You're dealing with a lot. I came out here so you could talk to me about your frustrations. I've been told I am an excellent listener.

Allison: You’ll be taking those words back if you heard all my frustrations right now. (She looks over at the manor doors) I'm needed in there, aren't I? First I show up late to the ceremony, and then I leave during the reception. I'm not being a very considerate bride tonight. It’s our big night and I'm acting like an entitled bitch.

Adrian Raines: Yes, you are needed in there, and no, you are not an entitled bitch. I've seen entitled bitches and you are not one. You're intelligent, you're gorgeous, and you're wearing a killer sexy wedding dress, and best of all? It's all mine. You are my wife and I will stay out here with you until you are ready to go back inside. The guests can wait a little longer. Nothing like making a big dramatic re-entry. We vampires are well known for it.

Allison: I should go back inside. Gaius promised the guests the bouquet toss. No way am I missing that. They need their bride to do the honors.

Adrian Raines: Then allow me to walk you back in. I'm waiting in anticipation for this party to be over so I can drive you home and have you all to myself.

*Allison adjusts her veil and puts on a straight face as she strolls back into the manor on Adrian’s arm. Cheers greet her the instant she steps into the ballroom, and Lily, Kamilah and Jax approach her quickly*

Lily Spencer: Girlfriend, where did you go? You've got a bouquet waiting to be thrown to the next available bachelorette. (She hands Allison her forgotten bouquet from her spot at the table) The food rocked, by the way, especially the cake. Everyone’s raving about it.

Kamilah Sayeed: Not to mention those children are on some kind of sugar high. (She nods to Lula and Kano) Where were you? We got worried.

Allison: Yeah, sorry. I went outside.

Jax Matsuo: The party getting too overstimulated already? I was tempted to go out myself, but then I saw Adrian rushing out in a hurry.

Allison: I had some anger to release. Don't ask.

Jax Matsuo: I know the feeling. I have that almost every day.

*Allison walks into the center of the room and picks up a microphone, diverting everyone’s attention to her*

Allison: Hey, everybody. Sorry for my odd disappearance earlier, but I was only...getting my bouquet! (She holds it up to more cheers) So before this party goes past midnight, would all the single ladies please come forward and gather up here in front of me? Yes, that means you, too, Lula! All ladies, women and girls alike, who are currently without a date, are welcome to participate!

*Immediately, all the single women and young girls move into the center, the children in front. Allison gets up on one of the tables for a view of everyone, her bouquet clasped in her hands*

Lula Jacobs: I wanna bouquet like Miss Allison’s when I get married!

Allison: Ready?

*She scans the crowd, looking for one face in particular, and then she throws her bouquet under-handed towards...Lula! The little girl barely has time to react before the flowers hit her shoulder, and on instinct, her hands shoot out and catch it before it hits the floor*

Lula Jacobs: I caught it!

Allison: (amid cheers) Great job, Lula!

Lula Jacobs: I'm getting married next! (Her eyes land on Kano, and he gives her a thumbs-up)

Allison: You can keep it as a souvenir to remember tonight. Put it in a fancy vase when you get back to the Shadow Den.

Lula Jacobs: I'm never gonna forget tonight. This was the best wedding EVER!

Lily Spencer: Okay, y’alls, who’s ready to DANCE? It'll be for real this time! This party’s officially on FIRE!

*She whips out her phone and selects her Wedding Playlist, and bright, lively pop tunes begin playing loudly. Everyone moves out to the floor and starts dancing wildly*

Allison: Yeah, Lil! Now THAT is what I like to see at my wedding! The perfect way to end the night with a bang!

Lily Spencer: Hey, I'm your girl for anything you need, bestie. You asked me to DJ for a reason, and that's what I'm doing. I was born for this! Now why are you hanging over here chitchatting with little ol’ me? Go get your mans and BRING IT DOWN! You're freaking MARRIED now...Mrs. Raines!

#choices stories you play #fanfiction scene #bloodbound #pixelberry

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Who in hypmic is okay at cooking and who shouldnt be allowed near a kitchen? Like which character would you not mind preparing food for you at your house and who would you ban from the kitchen?

I think these are perhaps two separate questions. Since I've done a lot of long posts recently, I will try to be brief.

Ichirou: Canonically a good cook. Welcome to my kitchen. Please come cook curry for me.

Jirou: Can't recall if he can cook or not but would be surprised if he couldn't; all the BBs seem pretty self-sufficient. Likewise welcome to my kitchen. He's a growing boy that I would try to feed.

Saburou: Same as above.

Samatoki: Canonically a great cook. Welcome to my kitchen. Please make me fried rice.

Juuto: I haven't seen him cooking before, but he seems like he would enjoy good food and be capable of producing it. Unfortunately, no cops are allowed in my house, so he is not welcome to the kitchen.

Riou: Canonically a great cook if you trust Dice's judgment (and I do), but he is not welcome in my kitchen. He is welcome in my back yard. And my heart. Come cook for me, king; I'll eat your dubious food.

Ramuda: I think he bakes, and that's good enough for me. He is allowed in the kitchen, but I won't say he's necessarily welcome in the kitchen because my kitchen wouldn't be very welcoming to him. The house I rent was made for people a great deal taller than me; I have to climb on the counters to get shit off the shelves. Ramuda's would have a hell of a time with it too.

Gentarou: We see him eating out a lot, but I'm guessing that's more for a change of pace as a self-employed person, not that he can't cook. He can probably at least make simple things. I'm not sure I trust him not to poison me, though.

Dice: I think either Dice can't cook for shit or else he's the kind to throw a bunch of crap in a frying pan and not measure a damn thing and then add a ton of sauce, whereupon you get the best meal of your life. I'm willing to take that gamble and let him cook for me. Come here, Dice, you can eat the food in my fridge.

Jakurai: Canonically a great cook and can probably make better use of my stupidly tall kitchen than I can. Get in here.

Hifumi: Canonically an amazing cook. Get your ass in here.

Doppo: I don't think he cooks, but it's the thought that counts. I can teach him how to make burritos in a somewhat less manic fashion than in Wrap and Rap.

Sasara: He lives on his own, so he can probably cook at least decent things. I don't want to hear his food jokes, so he is not welcome to cook for me.

Roshou: Whenever there are illustrations of Roshou's house, there's never any actual meal drawn (just snacks and drinks and shit) so idk if he can cook. He can probably make some basic things. He's allowed in the kitchen, since he seems like a fun, chill person to hang out with.

Rei: I don't care how good of a cook he is, I am not letting him into my house.

Kuukou: I would be shocked if he could cook. He seems like he'd burn the house down. 10/10, would let him.

Juushi: His family probably does most of the cooking for him, although, since his parents work late hours, he might have picked up cooking after his grandma passed away. I'm willing to let him have a go at it anyway provided he understands it's okay to make a mess and fuck up along the way.

Hitoya: He appreciates the finer things in life so, like Juuto, I assume he knows how to cook at least decently. Sure, he's welcome to have a go at it.

#not a translation #asks #hypmic asks

[noodlepai]

(OKAY okay so I've come to provide more information on the AU, I'm still working on it a lot so things might change or be added but I got a basic idea of what things are like rn !!)

Info dump moment rn, also TW for slight trauma mentions/hints

• Sam had managed to save the Wii from melting itself all those years ago, and is a pretty big person on tech, so she likes to experiment and try new things, and actively tries to help Eteled out or transfer him through devices so he isn't just stuck in one place all the time, with lots of trial and tons of error, especially since she knows the Wii's getting old and that it can be unstable occasionally with glitches

• Kyle has also taken a liking to learning more about technology through Sam's influence so he sometimes comes over and they both will just study and brainstorm ideas

• Sam moved out of her home and now lives in her own apartment, is in college to pursue her dream of working around and creating technology, hasn't really considered making a job out of it since she mostly does it for fun and likes to achieve her dream goals, Nathan and Kyle also occasionally visit to just hang out and do whatever, usually resulting in the three staying up very late into a movie or game night, and Eteled having to talk Sam into getting sleep for the next morning

• Even though Sam is big on all tech, consoles and video games, she still has a soft spot for old generation consoles in particular

• Sam, Nathan and Kyle had all gotten pretty close growing up so they're like a dumbass trio /lh

• Will moved out of state or some shit

• Kyle wakes up from his villain arc and makes a truce with Eteled /J.. FR though Kyle softens up and becomes more understanding of Eteled's side after they start talking it out, while what happened did bother him at the time all those years ago, he just kinda grew up to the point where it didn't have such of an effect on him anymore, I mean all he saw was a Mii get slice and diced, no need to go beast mode over it, so they forgive each other of the past

• Kyle and Nathan are besties to homosexuals, homie love

• Sam made a Mii of herself from when she was younger to keep Eteled company when going out or having to attend school, Eteled appreciated it but wouldn't wanna admit how it wasn't the same and about how much he would miss Sam when she had to get off the Wii

• Gives Eteled abandonment issues because I love being evil

• He's actually clingy on the inside but would never admit it to anyone

• Also views Sam as a sort of daughter figure besides just a friend but is too nervous to mention it, he wants Sam to be safe, loves whenever she talks or rants to him about anything or shows him something she made or is proud of, or even just anything at all, father Eteled is proud of his child/bestie

• He like, genuinely feels loved around her and would definitely cry about it but would never show it, or at least try not to

• Eteled has the favorite Mii pants because Sam put them on him, with quote "I think it's about time my best friend gets to rock a new style", and yes it did make him almost cry on the spot

• Austin is like, mentally conflicted as hell

• Austin and Eteled both feel guilty for what they've done to each other over the years, aren't sure they can or are ready to forgive the other but they're very slowly learning to tolerate each other

• They're like enemies to kinda friends in a way

• They're traumatized mfs

• They still sometimes fight but it's usually just yelling or saying shit now, they don't do the chair, deletion or axe really anymore since they at least got to the point where they respect each other's boundaries and triggers, and there's no point to keep doing the same old for over 10+ years, for the most part, they still slip up sometimes

• They do fuck up though occasionally so that's why Eteled has scars and Austin is a bit more bashed up

• They still have a rooted dislike for each other they're trying to get over but they sometimes chill out or talk, usually when Sam is asleep or off the Wii for a while, the two just will maybe visit or sit around to at least try to understand the other better

• Sam knows Austin is still around, and it took a while but with time she grew to accept him when he didn't seem like a big threat anymore, and that he was just as important of a soul as Eteled was, she still didn't like the fights and didn't know the full story

• She'd probably section them away from the other with a child gate if she could

• Austin of course has an ego and would never tell another soul that he has many nightmares of the server room and about what happens if he gets caught off guard or is sleeping when Eteled decides to attack him again, Eteled wouldn't do that, and Austin knows it but it's just the deep rooted fear he can't get rid of, even though he's much taller and technically more powerful than the smaller Mii

• Eteled is just tired, usually just sleeps in the Mii channel, especially when under stress or tires himself out if he's going through a moment, like triggered memories or emotions

• From all the deleting and the chair, and more crap from his early life, Eteled is just terrified of it all so even the idea of them scares the fuck out of him, so as a natural response he just tries to defend himself with his axe even if he would be shaking like a chicken, he really tries not to pull it out but he can't always stop himself

• The axe itself would probably also bother Austin a bit, but he would still try to cautiously calm Eteled down since he knows he's just afraid, so afterwards they'd probably have to awkwardly apologize for what the fuck happened at that very moment

• Sam sometimes offers them both to play a game together with her, or plans on playing with Eteled and invites Austin along, as a way to make them bond, they do end up having some fun though

• Eteled has seen and/or been around or within newer Nintendo consoles, but personally prefers being in the Wii since he's used to it the most, and it's the most comfortable and homey to him

• Oh yeah, if Austin or Eteled is having an episode or is deeply upset then the other will try to help sometimes if it's really bad, Austin tries to hide it more but it doesn't always work, yeah they have reasonable reasons to not like the other, but they aren't complete assholes

• They both got trauma memories and aren't gonna just watch the other suffer through it

• Austin may or may not have taken in what Eteled had said all that time ago about "Learning to move past the past", even though that technically makes Eteled a hypocrite when he's constantly beating himself up about shit mentally, even after years, they are both doing it tbh

• Also Kyle doesn't know about Austin 100% but is curious to know his story and who he is and used to be, and how he got in the Wii, especially after the passing of his family member of the same name, little does he know..

• Sam also doesn't know about any of it, neither Sam or Kyle know of what happened or Austin's story, Austin being in a tight spot since he doesn't wanna reveal his identity yet, knowing the possible reaction, for Eteled's sake, Sam's and especially Kyle's, and Eteled being absolutely fucking terrified since the fear of losing someone like Sam could become real, and the small but growing friendship he was slowly making with Kyle could go right back to hatred and wanting the small Mii deleted, not including the fact that he still eats at himself for his past actions so it being brought back up again would be a ✨mess✨

• Austin doesn't know if he forgives Eteled or not, but wants to try to move past it and not be reminded in any way

• Nathan is still a little lowkey scared of Eteled ngl, doesn't wanna upset him or anything and Eteled can tell, he probably sighs to himself but he can't blame the guy

• Kyle has thought about making another Mii of himself on what is now long been Sam's Wii, now that he's older and him and Eteled are rather chill, but decided against it since he wasn't sure, not because he didn't trust Eteled, but because he figured it could potentially remind the Mii of the past, so whenever he plays on it he just uses Eteled

(That's all I can really recall on the top of my head for now, whenever I remember more or add on things I'll probably make a new post about it)

#eteled #henry #corrupted mii #austin #sam #kyle #nathan #will #wdy #wii deleted you #au #still not sure what i want to do with the considered bully characters #if i decide to add them #or what i would do with the parental figures #still a lot to think about and work on but yeah #i dont mind ideas or possible suggestions for some characters #im just vibing with my au and having fun #*does a little dance*

[outrunningthedark]

First off I’m sorry if this gets to long or muddled but I just wanted to say something from the prospective of a mother with children who have disabilities.

Ok so my issues with people saying Shannon deserved redemption; when my son was 4 we got his diagnosis and at the time life was hard I also had a baby and things were just super hard. One day my then partner just left he decided he couldn’t handle bringing up a child with special needs and that was nearly 3 years ago and we have not seen or heard from him since.

Something I get told a lot is ‘oh he might come back one day it must have been so hard for him’ um excuse me!?! I was the parent left behind to handle all the appointments and daily physical therapies and the emotional toll of a child who’s daddy just left one day and every day since I have lied to that child to make it so he has no idea the real reason his father left us.

To hear things like that when I have had to literally drag myself and my kids through some of the hardest times is a kick in the gut, he doesn’t deserve to come back one day as the hero who found things hard so had to take a break, that’s not how it goes, but if you arepeople like Shannon Diaz you should be forgiven right? because poor you right? WRONG!!!

Who was it who sat and held your child while you needed to breath? Who picked up the slack of handling everything? Who cried themselves to sleep at night because they felt they weren’t enough that they were failing their child because things were hard? Who took the emotional toll of lying to your child so they didn’t feel like they had any blame in you leaving (which they didn’t let’s face it, you were just being selfish, taking a break would have been telling your husband I’ll be back in a week and I’ll be stronger than ever) my second child got diagnosed with the same thing as my oldest when he was 2 life is ridiculously hard but I would not walk out on my babies and for people to try and excuse what Shannon did is offensive. I know people say Eddie checked out first but my god even five minutes after enlisting he could have regretted it but it was too late, we don’t know enough about that to really dig into it.

I’m sorry you have caught so much crap lately about Shannon and A*a (who I won’t mention cos I’ll probably get a ban), you don’t deserve it at all, people will never understand because they don’t want to they all have their own agendas as far as these characters are concerned and hating Shannon and Ana doesn’t fit in with their own rhetoric where Buddie shouldn’t happen etc. They just don’t realise the people they are insulting to do it.

Obviously I've always been aware of ableism, but being in this fandom, being exposed to people from outside my own little bubble, has made me realize how widespread it really is. And it's heartbreaking because now I'm forced to wonder what kind of excuses people come up with for how the disabled are treated in everyday life. (Are we even a consideration if they don't personally know someone who is part of the community?) You are a shining example of the mother fandom pretends Shannon was before she left and could have been *again* if given the chance. You are the type of mother disabled kids and young adults need to function in a world that was not (and is not) catered to us. We need mothers that will be our voice, that will see our potential, and that will fight for us. We need mothers that love us unconditionally. We need mothers that see US, not our disabilities. Most of all, we need mothers with no regrets. I don't have to tell you that we're not all so fortunate to have two parents who learn to accept our "limitations". Some of us don't even have one. (🙋‍♀️) It's the able-bodied people, as well as the disabled people who were raised in much more attentive homes, that need the reality check: If someone cannot handle the possibility of raising a disabled child because it's "overwhelming", they should NEVER have children. If they leave, that's gonna stay with their kid until the end of time. If they stay out of obligation, the resentment is going to be difficult to cover up for a minimum of eighteen years and THAT will cause serious self esteem issues going forward.

As for the other ableist: the support for A*a (at least when she returned in Jinx) was confusing for me, ngl. Did fandom contract selective amnesia? Were we choosing to ignore what had happened the season prior? Maybe viewers didn't even realize her comment was ableist? (Sadly true!) Maybe they felt it was "insensitive", but agreed with her overall opinion because CP + skateboards don't usually mix? (Sadly true x2!) When Eddie went with Buck’s suggestion over hers, was that not a clue she was in the wrong? When the show didn't address it the same way they had every single one of Eddie's missteps, was that not a clue that A*a wasn't meant to be sympathized with or necessarily liked? Now that season four is in the books, most of fandom agrees she was never supposed to be Eddie's long term love interest/endgame, but, man...that first week when she reappeared and people said "They're cute! You're all just haters!" sure was strange, huh? I guess pretty people acting ugly is so common that nobody bats an eye anymore...

#love-buddie #i appreciate this message SO MUCH i cannot even explain #you’re doing the best you can as a mother and that’s what matters 💖💖💖 #your children will always know their mother is the one who stayed #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #anti ana flores #anti shannon diaz