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mcflymemes · 6 months

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AS SAID BY DORIAN PAVUS * assorted dialogue from dragon age inquisition, updated version

i don't care what they think about me. i care what they think about us.

i like you. more than i should. more than might be wise.

discretion isn't your thing, is it?

all this dancing, politics, and murder makes me a bit homesick.

i suppose it really depends. how bad do you want to be?

living a lie... it festers inside of you, like poison.

i'm a man of many talents. what can i say?

the moment i saw you, i thought "there's a man who knows quality."

if you don't come through this, i swear i'll kill you.

i'm curious where this goes, you and i. we've had fun. perfectly reasonable to leave it here.

here is my proposal: we dispense with the chitchat and move on to something more primal.

i tease you too much, i know.

i'll have to find something we can do that doesn't involve teasing.

time to drink myself into a stupor. it's been that sort of day.

i see you enjoy playing with fire.

i like playing hard to get.

i'm not suggesting we venture into mutual domesticity.

if it's a trap, we escape and kill everyone. you're good at that.

talk to me. let me hear how mystified you are by my anger.

oh, i'm not arguing. just pointing out the ridiculously obvious.

if you choose to leave your door unlocked like a savage, i may or may not come.

now... what was i talking about? ah, yes. me.

i am apparently an incredible ass at accepting gifts.

i prefer the company of men.

would you prefer me bound and leashed?

sometimes the ones you love are also the ones who disappoint you the most.

you are the man i love, [name]. nothing will truly keep us apart.

the things you ask are just... very personal.

sometimes... love isn't enough.

there will always be an "us." we'll just be... farther apart, for a time.

i had no idea something like you was possible.

i'm imagining what you would look like in a dress.

i've never seen you smile so much!

i have no idea what you're talking about.

you stand there, flexing your muscles, huffing like some beast of burden with no thought save conquest.

you're shaping the world for good or ill. how could i aspire to do any less?

my footsies are freezing, thank you.

don't you ever bathe?

you're not suggesting we're similar.

watch where you're pointing that thing!

i'm not wearing a skirt.

it's significantly more impressive than hitting them with a sharp piece of metal.

i only meant to say i'm very sorry for your loss.

we can continue this dance forever, if you wish.

i'm saying we should be careful what we assume when it comes to such matters.

demons don't appreciate a man with good hair.

what i wouldn't give for some proper wine.

your outfit's entertaining. i'll give you that.

he had to leave early on account of assassination.

it's nice to know you have friends.

i'm here to do what is right.

come on, just answer the question.

they were asking me about you. personal things.

you said we'd be ass-deep in trouble. this is more like knee-high.

so what's your estimation? think we can win?

you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks.

you startled me. you're always so... nondescript.

you're a special and unique snowflake. live the dream.

i wanted to see you make flowers bloom with your song. just once.

you've done a lot less dancing naked in the moonlight than expected.

i've never seen anyone in this part of the world do it.

i realize there's more to you than that.

have i offended you?

for hating the outdoors, you sure seem to like bad weather.

i can't figure you out, [name].

you don't play their stupid game, they send an assassin or three your way.

i can't believe you're scared of magic.

i'm going to take that as a compliment.

still don't like me, [name]? after all this time?

[name], i owe you an apology.

i suspect people will use any excuse to hate us.

why be ashamed? power should be respected, not swept under the carpet.

maybe you're not a complete moron.

i just need to know you're capable of higher thought. for my own comfort.

it would take work. and soap. lots and lots of soap.

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spikedsoul · 1 year

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Imagine the fanfic happening in the movie universe.

Honey is the maid (Human, maybe?) that takes care of Bowser, feeding him and listening to his new Peach songs. Until, one day, the songs aren't about Peach anymore.

Gently hold small husband with salad tongs-

CAN YOU IMAGINE also um I couldn't help myself. Did i get carried away? Yes! (Although I didn't include the last bit, sorry!) Hopefully I kept him in character from the movie lmao

You were used to hearing Bowser talk and sing about Peach as you made his food, did his laundry, cleaned his room like the giant manchild he was. The only time he acknowledged that you existed was when he needed to bend someone's ear about his plans (marrying Peach) and Kamek wasn't around... but you weren't complaining. It was steady work and steady pay, and you were taken care of well enough that for now, you could handle it. In fact the only regular direct interaction you had with him was bringing his food, and he usually just snatched it from you without a word.

You'd also been privy to some of his more tender moments, a mere anonymous shoulder to lament to. Over the years, you'd learned to see past the anger, past the obsession, to know he's got a heart buried deep inside that chest - if only someone could reach it. But you kept it all to yourself - he probably still didn't know your name.

And why should he? He was a king, and you were paid to be a maid, silent and invisible. And that was fine. Things didn't need to be complicated. It was a simple business transaction.

You slipped into his music room as you'd done so many times before, listening to him play as you quietly got to work tidying up around him.

Sometimes it felt like he didn't even know you were there - but that allowed you to sort of see under that spiked shell of his, so you really didn't mind. Although, he never stopped playing either way, so who knew?

"Tell me, sweetheart," you heard him rumble over the music, "what is it that keeps you here?"

You hadn't heard those lyrics before, but the spoken word style suited them.

He chuckled - well, cackled more like - as he continued playing. "So diligently taking care of my castle, and me, and never once caring to speak up. So content to stay hidden in the background. You've never recoiled from my touch or looked at me like the villain I am, nor have you let leak any of my.... hmm, less than proud moments. So tell me, my sweet little handmaiden, do you think you're invisible to me?"

You dropped your broom in shock and spun around to see him, but he wasn't anywhere in sight. The only sound that echoed through the chamber now was the clatter of the broom handle hitting the floor.

What the fuck just happened? Did you hallucinate all of that just now? Your wide eyes swept the room in front of you, your mouth hanging open; it's been a while since you'd been on a proper vacation, so maybe you had imagined it...

With a quiet sigh, you turned around to pick up your broom - only to be met with a massive, scaly paw wrapping gently around your throat, clawed thumb forcing your head back by your chin. Your face flushed brightly as you stared doe-eyed right into King Bowser's grinning face.

"L-Lord Bowser," you stammered, absolutely ashamed of how you felt about his warm hand encompassing your neck so easily. Through all your interactions, this was the first time you'd ever touched him, and you had to admit his scales were smoother than you'd expected.

His eyes narrowed as he watched you, his nostrils fluttering as he dragged you a little closer to him. That terrible, beautiful grin didn't leave him.

"My silent little human minion," he purred; his breath wafted over your face, the smell of woodsmoke heavy in your nose. "I've been thinking a lot lately, you know.... about you. About us. About what could be..."

"Wh-what can I do for you, sir?" Your voice quivered and you could feel your throat bob against his hand when you swallowed; his not so subtle implications were making you dizzy.

He hummed, bringing his free hand up to drag his claws through your locks. "I want you to tell me about me. I want to know what a mere human like you thinks of the great Lord Bowser - and I want your true feelings, got it?" he growled quietly. "You've seen more of me than even Kamek is privy to, and I demand to know why you stick around."

You resisted the urge to let out a sigh; he was just fishing for compliments, thank God, despite his thinly veiled threat. If you actually told him the truth, you feared you'd end up dead. Not that you really had bad things to say! Bowser was just a little unpredictable sometimes.

You brought your hands up to lightly rest them over the one that held your throat, but you didn't try pulling away one way or another. That seemed to confuse Bowser, his head tilting to the side as his grin slowly faded.

"Well, sir," you murmured, slowly relaxing, "even though you desire to dominate other kingdoms and crush your enemies... you still seem like you would treat your allies well. I mean, look at me: I'm a lowly maid, but I get paid well and I feel relatively protected on the occasion things get a little... ah, rough. As fierce as you are... I don't feel like I need to fear you, exactly. Which is a good thing as your employee."

Bowser's pupils dilated slightly as he seemed to consider your words. You just hoped they were honeyed enough to appease him instead of set him off, but either way you'd find out in a few seconds.

"...That ain't all, is it?" he finally huffed. "I know you got more opinions on me than that political shit you just spouted, so tell me. Promise I won't get mad." And then he gave you the best puppy dog eyes you'd ever seen.

Oh, heavens help you. There was zero reason for this koopa to be so.... cute.

You took a deep breath, gathering your courage, and then practically blurted out one of your deepest feelings about him: "Sometimes you seem like you could use a real hug and a caring friend."

His jaw dropped as he stared at you in surprise. You stared right back at him, just as surprised that that's what came out.

The silence between the two of you stretched on until you couldn't bear it anymore and you finally turned around, chiming, "M-maybe I should get back to work-"

"Wait!" Before you could even blink, Bowser snatched you off your feet, holding you up in the air like he was afraid you'd try to run.

You blinked at him, a little surprised. "...Yessir?" you asked calmly despite the blush threatening to return. Momentarily, all he did was stare at you a little dumbly before recollecting himself a little.

"I-I, uh, just thought - I mean, if you wanted to give me a real hug, I'd - I'd allow that. And the... friend thing..."

Ah, you knew that code. He wanted a hug, but he didn't want to seem like he wanted it. Poor guy.

"...You know what, now that I think about it, I think a hug would be real nice. How about you let me know every time you're in the mood to allow me to hug you, huh?" you murmured. "And if you'd like me to-"

Bowser nodded, and without hesitation (or letting you finish) he held you to his wide chest, pressing your face right against it. Unfortunately your arms were pinned to your sides so you couldn't really hug back, but you could still feel some of the tension leak out of his body when he realized you weren't squirming or trying to get away.

"You know..." The vibration of his deep voice made your head buzz pleasantly, pressed against his chest as it was. "Between you and me, maybe Peach is just a siren trying to lure me into a false love, using her pretty face to keep me from seeing someone who'd really care about me..."

Since he couldn't see your face, you rolled your eyes. "Then does this mean you have your eyes suddenly set on someone else, sir?" you asked politely.

He set you back on your feet and crouched so that his face was level with yours, his large hands keeping a gentle hold of yours. "I don't know if "suddenly" is the right word... there's been a slow realization over a few years, but I suppose I'm finally ready to give up on Peach in favor of a more promising potential."

You smiled a little, daring to reach out; Bowser's eyes watched your hand as it fell gently on his nose. His pupils blew wide. Although you opened your mouth to say something, it was then that it dawned on you that Bowser wasn't actually crouching - he was kneeling.

"B-Bowser?" you breathed as, once again, your face grew hot with the intensity of your blush. But even as you stared at that adorably sweet face he was making, the sincerity and silent plea for some sort of consensual companionship was almost overwhelming.

"I'm gonna make you my bride one way or another... sweetheart."

#bowser #bowser x y/n #bowser x reader #super mario bros #ficlet #fanfiction #fanfic #I HOPE Y'ALL LIKED IT

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jewish-vents · 1 month

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(Post this anonymously, please!!)

I am an artist with an 8k+ follower blog which I have been active on for over 12 years. I've always felt safe here and have considered it my internet home. After October, watching the amount of people in my fandoms and artists who I had admired and found community with who immediately went full-in on a very black and white, aggressively conspiratorial and antisemitic brand of pro-Palestine activism, my idea of community here and my place in it was totally shaken. It was like I had put on a pair of glasses that allowed me to see the latent radicalization that had been going on around me, and the pervasive antisemitism that exists, unacknowledged, in nominally pro-social justice leftist spaces.

The loneliest part is that it feels like, with few exceptions, only other Jews can see it. Even the gentile friends who i love most and who would unquestionably stand up for me are just not attuned to the dogwhistles enough to see 95% of it. It's like living in a bubble reality, unable to take these glasses off, while everyone else goes on as if everything is the same.

Yesterday, I logged in, and saw image attached from a gentile artist i'd followed for months, who had never before given me a reason to feel unsafe. Their tags read "don't come in my inbox to debate this, i have no interest and will not change my mind." I wanted to cry from frustration- this person likely has no understanding of how revoltingly antisemitic this post was because they have no understanding of the complexity of what "zionism" actually means, and, as they've made clear, they have no interest in learning or being told they're mistaken. There are so few of us (Jews) here- how the hell are we ever supposed to combat this? The worst part was that it had 98 likes, and zero replies suggesting that any of them saw a problem with this or disagreed.

I myself never really understood zionism before this- I am ashamed to say that I took a lot of the twisted definitions held by gentiles in my progressive social media spaces without question, and thought that because I believed in Palestinian self-determination, I must be an anti-zionist by definition. It took the "glasses" coming on in the time since October for me to fully learn and to understand that while the nuances of the term go deep, to the majority of my people, basic "zionism" means belief in Jewish-self determination in Eretz Yisrael, and that when many gentiles say "Zionist," they just mean "bad Jew."

In all of this mess there's one thing i'm grateful for, and it's that, even as i've lost community in unfollowing/blocking previous mutuals and acquaintances who've shown their incuriosity and prejudice, this shakeup has driven me to find community with other Jews on this site and a greater curiosity about and sense of belonging in my culture in the real world. I can't be mad that my eyes are open, because i've only lost community that wouldn't accept me as I am, and am gaining community that does, that shares my struggles and that sees the world in ways compatible with my values. When I look at my activity tab and see notifications from my mutuals now, I feel safe knowing that I have been honest, shared the truth of me, and that they have chosen to stick around, whoever they are. I love you all.

#jewish vents #submission #antisemitism #antisemitism on tumblr #antizionism #october 7 #i/p

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for not watching my sick goddaughter and then not wanting to watch her sick brother

*fake names used obviously

Two days ago I got a message from my goddaughter's mom, Nancy, saying that my goddaughter, Natasha, had thrown up at school. The reason Nancy let me know was because her husband would be picking up Natasha's little brother, Dennis, who I watch from 7:30 AM to 3:30 PM most days.

Anyway, I have an extreme, irrational fear of throwing up. So after Nancy let me know Natasha was sick, I was afraid Nancy would then ask if Natasha could come over to my house the next day along with Dennis. Nancy works the night shift so she sleeps during the day and her husband works from 8 AM to 4 PM. I've watched both kids since they were infants. I love them as if they were my own, but when they're sick with a stomach bug, or just throwing up for whatever reason, I would prefer they stayed home away from me so that I can avoid getting what they have lol.

I've always felt bad about this, because they're little and I feel like at my grown age I should be okay with being around them if they've thrown up. Yet, I find myself internally freaking out about getting sick AND I get so paranoid I swear I make myself sick sometimes. Nancy knows this about me.

Sure enough, Nancy calls me and nonchalantly asks if Natasha can come over the next day with Dennis because the school told her Natasha couldn't return for 24 hours. Usually I would give in and say yes because I feel bad saying no, but recently my brother's have reminded me that Nancy only pays me 200 dollars every two weeks to watch Dennis four days a week, eight hours a day. Nancy has acknowledged that she'd have to pay way more at a daycare, so she appreciates what I, and my family do for them.

I love the kids, I really do, but despite having known their parents for so long it feels as though Nancy and her husband only really see me and my family as the help and almost expect us to always be available. Or maybe I'm just projecting my insecurities onto them about not feeling appreciated enough? Which I know is bad, but it's instances like this that have bothered me in the past. You wouldn't take the children to a daycare if they've thrown up right? Or if they're sick with something like covid (which they gave us like two years ago), or if they have a fever, but they've brought them over anyway. It feels mean, you know? Like I love the kids, but I don't want to get sick. Maybe I'm just a horrible, paranoid, awful person and I do think that sometimes. Ha ha, is this an instance in which it would be ok to set a boundary🤔😭

On top of that, I don't charge Nancy extra (nor does she offer to pay) when she asks me to watch the kids on the weekends for a few hours or when she's got time off of work and wants to bring them over. I know this is my fault, because I do not charge her, but again I feel bad asking for more money. My biggest fear for a long time was that she would stop bringing the kids over if I did ask for a little raise or asked her not to bring them over if they were sick, but was always reminded by my brothers that Nancy didn't want to pay for daycare. Still I felt too ashamed to ask for more babysitting money or for Nancy or her husband to keep the kids home sick, and again I feared she would find someone else to watch the children.

Anyway, I told Nancy no. I was very apologetic and reminded her that I get really paranoid when someone is sick throwing up. I told her I just didn't want to get sick because then I'd be out for one to two days. Which would mean I wouldn't be able to watch Dennis and she or her husband would have to miss out on a day of work. Nancy sounded let down, maybe annoyed? I'm not sure, I can't remember. I am kind of spiraling about it as I'm typing this out now. I feel really bad that I said no, especially because Nancy called me from her car so Natasha heard me say no. Luckily, Natasha was happy that she would get to go spend time with her mom at work. Nancy works in an office as the manager of a warehouse, so it's not like Natasha had to wait in some break room or alone somewhere.

Then tonight I get a message from Nancy saying Dennis threw up, and the panic set in all over again. I feel bad telling her to keep him, even though she eventually offered to keep him home after my many questions: what time did it happen; did he only puke once; does he have a fever; how is he feeling now? I'm sure she's annoyed that I might say "Yes, please keep him." Because that would mean she would either have to stay awake with him and not sleep before work tomorrow night, or that her husband would have to stay home. I think I'm going to tell her to keep him. I feel bad, but I guess not bad enough, huh? I'm trying to justify it to myself, I know, but that's why I'm here. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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octuscle · 8 months

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Full time barista here I’ve always been envious of the men on stage especially the heavy weights. Don’t want to over work the chronivac but help me become a muscle bull as big as jean pierre fux.

Mate, I understand you only too well…. There are few things hotter than the real heavy beefcakes. I've tried it long enough myself… But I didn't make it either. Jean Pierre is a pretty good role model… But I have an idea…

Friday morning. It's 06:00, you have to hurry, in one hour you have to prepare the first coffee. You don't have time for much more than a few situps and pushups. In the bathroom you have to hurry. You need longer and longer to conceal your receding hairline. You are now 40 years old, slowly you just notice that you are getting older. If you go out tonight to party, it will take you almost the whole Saturday to recover. The cosmetic industry has nothing effective to offer against the wrinkles in the corners of your eyes. And even if you don't need to be ashamed of your body: You won't gain much more muscle in your lifetime.

Shit, at 07:00 o'clock people are already queuing up. You hate it when you can't open the store in peace. But as it looks, it will be 10:00 o'clock, until you have the first moment of rest. In fact, it's even 10:30 when your colleague thinks you can take a break. If you need it, he adds with a wink. You look fantastic today! You take a mineral water and sit down in the warehouse. In fact, you feel pretty damn good right now. You drink the water in one go. You don't have much time for a break. And you have to piss again before the lunch business starts. Your lower jaw drops as you wash your hands. Fuck, what happened to you. There are no more receding hairlines or laugh lines. You look ten years younger than when you got up today. The only difference is that you look as if you'd spent the last ten years doing little else but lifting iron. Your T-shirt is almost blown up by your biceps and pecs. And your jeans look like they're painted on your monstrous legs. How could you not notice that? As you tie the apron back on your way back to the counter, you wonder why you were just amazed. Since your 20th birthday, you've spent every spare minute at the gym, investing every penny you earn in protein and supplements. Hell, if you didn't look the way you do, you would have wasted a hell of a lot of time and money.

The calm in your coffee bar begins to subside again. The lunch business is starting up. There's a beefcake in your line that makes you jealous. Yo, bro! he greets you. It's nice to see that there are real men working here, too. What you can recommend to him. You suggest the protein bomb. A scramble of 10 eggs with 400 grams of chicken breast. He grins and nods. And a liter of still mineral water. The bro shares your taste. While you type everything into the register, he asks you if you're all-natural. Of course you are. With the money for the meal, he slides you a card. In case you want to think about it.

It is 17:00 o'clock, when you tie off your apron. Fuck' according to your watch you have walked 12,000 steps today on the few square meters behind the counter. But it also looks like it's been a pretty good day so far. You're 20 now, and the idea of opening your own café with healthy and, above all, protein-rich food came to you when you were 16. That's when you started getting into high performance bodybuilding. And a place like this was missing at that time. And then you built this place with your mentor and trainer as a straw man. But you can't stand behind the counter for more than ten hours. Even if you are the best advertisement for your products, you have to work out at least four hours every day. Otherwise you don't stand a chance on the big stage.

You might not be one of the big ones yet… But you are on a really good way to get there. You met Jean Pierre Fux once at a fitness fair in Germany. A great role model for you. And he said that at your age he would have been a linnet compared to you. The prerequisites for a brilliant career are there. Enjoy it and make the best of it!

This and other hot pics @anton227ludwig

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #chronivac #male transformation #muscle transformation #tank top #inked man #age reduction

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arxxq · 1 year

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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷"Please don't starve yourself..."

╰┈➤ ❝ [What would the blue lock boys do if they found out their s/o hasn't eaten?] ❞

Part 1?

Credits to my for you page for this idea

Fem reader? Characters might be ooc I'm sorry

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳Warnings: Mentioned of insecurities(mostly about your weight). Characters are aged up 18+ but no nsfw

Looking at the mirror you realized that maybe your friends were right. You looked at your reflection feeling ashamed with how much weight you have gained. So without further hesitation you decided to take in the advice of what your friends had told you to do which was to "eat less" or "don't eat" . You grabbed an oversized hoodie from your closet just to cover up your body so that maybe that'll make you feel better at least.

Seishiro Nagi your lazy but loving boyfriend notice something was not right with you. He didn't want to pry but it did concern him to why were you wearing an oversized sweater when the room was burning hot or why did you skip both breakfast and lunch today. He was starting to get worried. He asked Reo if he could tell him to why you're acting like this but Reo himself didn't know why. It was now 8.00pm and It was almost time for dinner and yet there was only one dish with food on the kitchen counter. He was planning to ask after eating dinner with you but it seems like he can't.

"Dove..are you okay?" He asked. You looked at him confused. "I'm fine sei, why are you asking?" That was an obvious lie but you were hoping he's buying it. He stared at you with worry all over his face. "You haven't eaten since this morning...can you please tell me why?" You frozed and that enough made Nagi worry even more.

"Of somethings wrong you know you can tell me right?" You sigh knowing you won't be able to hide about it from him anymore. "I-its just that...my friends lately told me I've gained so much weight so I thought that maybe if I just don't eat maybe I'll lose weight.." with your words, Nagi frowned.

"but dove... starving yourself isn't the solution to that," he stated. "I know but...I just didn't know what to do..I feel so ashamed looking at my reflection and I thought maybe not eating would've help"

Nagi took your both of your hands and interwined his fingers with yours to reasure you. "Well you shouldn't feel that way because to me, you're beautiful just the way you are both by size and heart. Now let's get you something to eat shall we?" You looked at him and smiled. "Sometimes I wonder how I managed to pull a loving boy like you,"

"Well I think I should've asked myself the same thing for you.."

"you should really try to look at yourself in the mirror"

"what did I tell you about overeating ?"

"maybe if you didn't eat at all you would've look like your sisters,"

Those were the words of your mother when you came to visit her the other day. You bit your lip thinking maybe she was right, you didn't want to think she was right but every single second, her words would always appear in your mind like a loop. Looking down at yourself..maybe your mother was right. Sighing you decided to take her advice.

A few days had past, your boyfriend Itoshi Rin saw the change in your behavior these couple of days. He was confused. He took note on how you have been skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner, how you have been wearing clothes that would cover up your entire body. What weirds him the most is that you have been refusing to eat whenever he buys food for you. He was worried but he didn't want to tell you that.

So one day when he came back from practice, he noticed that the house was a little quieter and darker than usual. Usually you would be out in the living room watching something while waiting for him to come home. He looked towards your shared bedroom. The door was opened but the lights were closed.

Rin entered the room and switch on the lights. When the lights were switch on, he could see the blanket was covering your entire body but what hurts him the most was that he heard sobs. He went towards the bed attempting to pull away the blanket covering your torso.

You flinched and turned around to be met by none other than Rin. Knowing Rin, he isn't really good with words so instead of asking what's bothering you, he decided to embrace you waiting for you to tell him what was wrong. "Care to explain what's wrong?" You looked at him and exhaled a breathe. "It's just that.. recently my mom told me I've been overeating and she told me I should just stop eating and that'll help..." Rin frowned. He knew you didn't have a great relationship with your mother.

Rin kissed your forehead and proceed to say, "whatever your mom told you..please don't listen to her. Don't let her words discourage you. Just know that she's wrong because to me your perfect just the way you are...so know let's get you something to eat, you shouldn't have starved yourself."

So for the entire night, Rin made a promise to himself to always remind you that you are perfect just the way you are...

I think I went a little overboard on Rin. I also didn't double check this cause I'm tired and it's literally 3am. I'm sleep deprived 😭

#itoshi rin x reader #blue lock x reader #itoshi rin #bllk x reader #nagi seishiro x reader #nagi seishiro #·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳aryssa;hasinah

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softcitrus2345 · 5 months

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Hello! This may sound a bit weird, but do you have any advice or recommendations on getting into this niche? I've kind of been watching from afar on several blogs, and I really want to try and test the waters! But I'm not really sure how to go about it, and I'm super scared that I'll end up just talking to a brick wall, having my mutuals find out, or have people ridicule me :')

Thank you for any and all help - I love your art!! Been hanging around for a while now and the progress you've made is so cool

- Clueless Anon

Oh I totally getcha! That's not a weird question at all! /gen /pos

Starting out with this kinda thing is really difficult, I know from experience. It took me months to hype myself up enough to even create this blog, let alone start posting on it, and I had (and still kinda do) those same fears you expressed, they're all very valid but hopefully what I share can help a bit with making your experience more manageable :3

The information I'll share here consists of opinions based on my personal experience posting on this blog, and getting into the belly kink community in general

I'll break it up into steps from what I sorta did when I started out so it makes a bit more sense.

STRUCTURE YOUR BLOG - Make an introduction post with general information about what to expect from your blog, and some other information about yourself if you want to. I like to include a few other things like some of my hard boundaries and leave it as a PINNED POST so that anyone who comes across your account will see this information

BLOCK YOUR MUTUALS - I have the same exact fear of being "found out" by people im close to or just know outside of this space, so once you set up the bare essentials on your blog, look for your mutuals accounts and block them. If you think a mutual of yours might have a blog but you're not sure, ask them! (Something I did was I asked my mutuals to send me their blogs so I could check them out when in reality it was so I could do this exact thing) Don't see blocking as something inherently malicious or bad, it's just a protective measure and a way to curate your experience on the internet in a way that is comfortable for you!

INTERACT WITH YOUR FELLOW ARTISTS! - I know it may not seem like something super important, but interacting with other artists is a very good way to establish yourself in the community, reblogging, tagging and replying to posts you like with nice comments have the potential for others to check out your blog or interact with you as well! I got lucky enough that I found similar communities outside of Tumblr beforehand, but it's still an effective way to get yourself out there and seen!

START POSTING! - Besides my intro post, my first post was something that I wanted to curate in a way that would encourage conversation. I shared several of my ocs that I planned on posting here and some basic information about them, and opened up asks! It's always gonna be a pretty slow start, but as long as you put the time into your work and are passionate about what you want to share, people will find your stuff! It's hard sometimes, especially when comparing yourself to others is such a common thing for people to deal with (including myself sometimes) but everyone's gotta start somewhere!

Starting out anywhere is difficult in itself, but with things like this that are more sensitive subjects for people, I completely understand your uncertainty and nervousness about sharing this kind of content online. But as long as you're not hurting anyone or sharing harmful content, I don't see why people should be so stinky about others just trying to explore different parts of themselves and their interests.. Kinks shouldn't inherently be seen as something to be ashamed of just because someone doesn't understand it. I've been lucky enough to have close friends in this community who have helped me become more comfortable with myself and with sharing my chonky art, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

I'm flattered you came to me for advice, I hope some of that can help you on your journey, and thank you for sticking around for so long, it means a lot to have your support ;;w;; 💖

I hope things go well for you! I'm cheering you on anon!!

#softcitrus asks #clueless anon #niche blog #rambles

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oakshade · 10 months

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Spottedleaf Says!

If you click "Keep Reading", you are a proshipper.

hehe haha hehe haha silly moment This is a redraw of an older "comic", it was pretty much the same but with a different design for Spottedleaf? I hadn't known what I wanted her to look like yet, but my nostalgia won out and this is how I regularly draw her! I also drew this, which I think is funny.

The initial comic was inspired from one that was like, "Proshipping is not okay! If you're a proshipper, you're a worthless piece of shit!" And they used Spottedleaf as the speaking voice for it. And I saw that and went, "isn't she literally a groomer?" (the answer is yes. I checked the comments of that post and someone else had said the same thing!) So I made a little comic of my own, it was just the opposite message! "Proshipping" isn't even a thing really, but I'm quoting the very original comic! To be "proship" is just to be anti-harassment. That's what it has always been. It's in the name, Pro-Shipping. Pro-Ship(What-You-Want). I think it is so silly watching the definition get twisted around by people with ill intent, or by people who are just too misinformed to actually know what it means. Sometimes it's labeled incorrectly intentionally, to make it seem like a Big Bad. And sometimes the person just doesn't do any research into the topic and instead goes, "gasp! Proship.. P- Problematic Ships?? That's problematic!!" Funnily enough, there IS a label like that. And it isn't proship, it's comship. Com-Ship. Complicated Ship. Being FOR complicated ships. it is very silly to me! If I hope for anything, I hope that some anti reads this and gets so insecure about themselves that they just have to do more research so they can feel smart. And then they go, "Oh. Oh, I was wrong. It's.. very simple actually." But it's fine if they don't, pissing people off is kinda funny too? And I get really happy when I get asks like, "thank you for this! I was feeling really embarrassed or ashamed to be proship, but I like your posts!" That's good also! If you're one of those people, I hope that you like this too! And to any anti who opened the "keep reading" bar, I hope your time has been THOROUGHLY wasted. (and no, I will not be gravely offended if you comment "im not reading all of that". it isn't meant for you, you're just outing that you're A Proshipper now <3 I WILL be teasing you for it when I notice!)

I just wanted to type as much as possible to take up as much room as possible, I thought to myself, "maybe someone will read this to see if I've said something accidentally incriminating about myself or my morals!" hehe haha hehe haha anyway spottedleaf groomed firepaw, eat my ass antis

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beelsnack · 5 months

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Sweet Nothings - OM Beelzebub and a Diabetic MC

Listen this is one of the most self-indulgent pieces I've ever written and I'm not ashamed of it. There's no way I'm the only diabetic simp in this community lol

This was meant to be part of a bigger series but I got carried away and made it it's own piece. So, sneak peak for future works I guess.

For my non diabetics out there, the thing that the human has on their arm is a CGM - continuous glucose monitor. It's exactly what it sounds like, a little sensor you stick in your arm so you can keep a constant eye on your levels.

-----

“What’s that?”

The human glanced up at Beelzebub from across the table the two of them were sitting at. A new restaurant had just opened up in the heart of the Devildom, and the owner had invited Beel to come on the grand opening day as a PR move. Beel, in turn, had invited the human to come along with him as his date.

“What’s what?” they asked. Beel inclined his head towards where they were holding the back of their phone against their shoulder.

“The thing on your arm.”

“Oh,” the human pulled their phone away and glanced at it. “I’m just checking my blood sugar. This thing is so much better than having to prick my finger all the time.”

Beel looked even more confused. “I don’t understand. Humans have to check their blood?”

“Not all of us,” the human muttered, frowning at their phone. From the angle they had it, Beel couldn’t see exactly what it said, but the screen was a vibrant orange color. “I knew I felt gross. No dessert for me, I guess.”

“Why not?”

“Sugar’s high,” the human shrugged. Now that he thought about it, the human did look a little weak and pale. They reached into the little bag that they always carried with them and pulled out a pen. They uncapped it, spun the little dial on top, and Beel watched in shock as they lifted up their shirt and jabbed the needle into their abdomen.

“You have to give yourself a shot?”

“Five times a day,” they recapped the pen and slipped it back into their bag. “Kind of sucks, but it beats the alternative.”

“What’s the alternative?” Beel asked. He had completely given up on looking at the menu in favor of staring at the human in abject horror.

“Shakiness, going blind, organ failure,�� they shrugged again. “Honestly, I try not to think about it too much.”

Beel’s eyes were as wide as the plates that their appetizers had been served on. “So you can’t eat sweets?”

“I can, just not a lot, and I have to be careful,” they shrugged. “Not tonight, though.”

Right then, the waiter returned to take their order, looking anxious. Word had probably spread about Beel’s notorious appetite, but he was also known as a generous tipper, so likely the server didn’t quite know how to feel about this one. About half-way through Beel’s order, the human saw the poor demon roll their wrist to alleviate some pressure.

“...That should be enough, right?” Beel muttered to himself before turning to the human. “Sorry, I ordered without asking if you were ready.”

The color seemed to drain from the server’s face and they hurried flipped over to a new page. The human resisted the urge to laugh.

“I’ll have…” they trailed their finger down the menu and stopped about a third or the way down. “That one, please.”

The server looked relieved and scribbled down the order before dashing off, likely afraid that Beel would tack more on to the order if they stayed around for too long.

“So, wait,” Beel started, looking thoughtful. “Why can’t you have sugar? Are you allergic?”

“...Honestly, not a bad way to put it, but not technically.” the human replied. “So human’s need to eat food to get energy to do things, right?”

Beel nodded.

“So insulin is the hormone that lets the energy from the food get from the blood into the cells. I have a disease called diabetes, which means my body doesn’t make that hormone. They can make it artificially, which is that shot that you just saw me give myself.”

“Where do they get it?” Beel asked, eyeing the server as they walked past them carrying someone else’s order. “Do other humans donate it like blood?”

“Y’know, that is a great question for Google when we get home.”

The server appeared beside them. “Would you like some more water?”

“Oh, yes, thank you,” the human smiled, scooting out of the way so the server could refill their glass. When they turned around to leave, however, Beel called out.

“Excuse me, sir?”

The server flinched before turning around and acknowledging Beel with a very tight smile. “Yes?”

Beel reached over to where he had tucked the dessert menu. “We won’t need this, sorry.”

The human raised their eyebrows. “Beel, you can have dessert.”

Beel shook his head as the server dutifully tucked the menu under their arm and darted back into the kitchen. “It wouldn’t be fair for me to have dessert if you can’t. We’ll just go out for ice cream when you feel better.”

#this is very specific but it's my blog and I'll write what I want #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel

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certified-msher · 2 years

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Here are Michael and Gavin's responses to Kdin's post. Gavin's response is listed in black and Michael's in white. IDs under break.

For those of you who haven't seen it here's the link to the TwitLonger or you can find it on her tumblr:

ID for Gavin's response:

Today, Kdin continued an important conversation that I've referred to vaguely in the past and rather than tweet something vague or just attempt to push forward, today I want to stop and take full responsibility for my past behaviour at Rooster Teeth. Firstly, I don't want anything I say here to be construed as an excuse - there simply aren't any excuses for my past behaviour. In the past I certainly played a role in other people's unhappiness with my shit attempts at humor and I look back on these moments with disgust in myself. I'm absolutely shocked by what i used to think could pass as comedy or "just joking around". I used to think that I could say or do offensive things because those around me knew it was beyond absurd that I would actually speak that way - basically the intent was to shock and the content of my character would excuse it - I couldn't have been more wrong and I fully acknowledge how stupid and hurtful that way of think was. Before Kdin bravely came out and transitioned, I did use that horrifically offensive nickname - it didn't matter that I was under the impression that we were all in on a joke - it was hurtful and wrong. Full stop. I would never use that kind of language in any context today, but again, that doesn't excuse my behaviour and I completely acknowledge that. In the years since, I've tried my absolute best to grow as a human being and would never, ever behave in this manner now - again, I'm beyond ashamed when I think back and I am forever grateful to the amazing individuals like Kdin who have shown me more grace than I was ever deserving of as I've worked to put my hurtful behaviour behind me.

ID for Michael's response:

I'll keep this as short as possible. The simple answer is I grew up in a place and time when calling your friends explicit words or slurs was funny. It was just part of modern culture. Primetime tv shows and movies I watched did it and it was always used as comedy. It was a punchline in The Hangover movie and everyone loved it. The f* word was something I would say to anyone without blinking. It was "normal" and in fact there's just simply never a reason at all to say it. I've long since regretted knowing my words hurt Kdin in such an unintended way. I also need to point out that this was years before Kdin transitioned, not that it's any excuse of makes anything less hurtful but it was certainly not said in the context of any form of hate or violence. A few years ago I reached out to Kdin to tell her how sorry I was and how bad I felt and that I never intended it to inflict the harm that I clearly did. Kdin was kind enough to respond when they didn't have to and have a conversation with me. So that's my comment. I definitely used to have a lot of shittier habits and behaviors and I deeply regret that really hurt someone. It was only ever a place of edgelord comedy and pushing buttons but it's not an excuse. I am sorry. I did grow up. I was stupid and lacked empathy and it's something I try to improve on every day because I'm human.

#michael jones #gavin free #kdin jenzen #rooster teeth #achievement hunter #rtah #ah michael #ah gavin

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takeme-totheworld · 4 months

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Agency

(cw: religious indoctrination, conversion therapy)

I once told a new-ish friend, one who was vaguely aware of my religious background but didn't know any of the details, about my past in the ex-gay movement. How I sought out an ex-gay "ministry" (voluntarily) at age sixteen, and how I subsquently left the organization and the church altogether (also voluntarily) at age nineteen after a serious breakdown.

And he said something I've never forgotten, because it deeply confused me: "It's kind of incredible that you acted with so much agency at such a young age. Choosing to go down that path, and then choosing to leave a few years later when you realized it wasn't working for you."

Like...I just couldn't figure out how that was his main takeaway from my story, and it bothered me immensely for reasons I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Because when I remember that time in my life? It does not feel at all like I was acting with agency and choosing a path freely. Because of course it doesn't. When I committed myself to the ex-gay route, I was doing what I firmly believed God and my church expected me to do. There was no question of doing anything else. I was sixteen, living with my extremely religious mother, and the church had been my whole life since always.

And when I left the movement and the church—well, there's a period of about two years of my life surrounding that exodus that feels like a fever dream even now. I was nineteen, my mental health was in shreds and I was making impulsive decisions from a place of pure panic. That particular decision—run away—turned out to be the right one for me. But it was not, by any stretch of the imagination, a well-considered choice made by a person who was empowered enough to exercise agency over their own life. It was the terrified floundering of a broken child who was just lucky enough to have a place to land with their other parent.

But if you look at just the bare-bones facts of that story, it appears to just be: I made choices, some good and some bad. Because I didn't have a metaphorical gun to my head. So I must have chosen everything I did freely, right? I drank the kool-aid because I chose to, because I wanted to, and later I stopped drinking it and left the church because I wanted to do that. Obviously.

But that's not true at all, because when you've been mentally and emotionally manipulated your entire life, especially when don't even realize it's happening because you love and trust the people doing it to you—it affects everything you do. You can't choose freely from that headspace.

But for the longest time I would look at people who had actually been dragged kicking and screaming into conversion therapy by their families, or people who had been kicked out of their religious communities and shunned by everyone they loved, and I would think, "Wow, other people had all these horrible things done to them, but I did this to myself." And I would feel ashamed and foolish and would tell myself that I had no right to claim to be traumatized by something that was, after all, the result of my own choices.

That's the insidiousness of this kind of indoctrination. They get you to do what they want, not through direct coercion, but by manipulating you into believing it was all your own idea. And then people watching from the outside believe that, too.

#religious trauma #religious indoctrination #religious deconstruction #exvangelical #conversion therapy #ex gay #ex ex gay

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lpsotd · 5 months

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Another anon who read the tags on your last post here! I've felt the need to write something myself since your situation feels so similar to mine when I was younger and maybe my experiences will help you in some way. Feel free to not respond to this if it's uncomfortable, it's totally okay! :)

I also didn't have a supportive family when it came to my interests, still kind of don't. I'm 22 (soon to be 23) and my family members are still looking at me funny regarding my hobbies, just like they did when I was 14-15. It was weird for them to see a child… liking toys and shows made for kids I guess?? They've also said that I was mature for my age, but let me tell you this is INCREDIBLY coercive. ''Since we've called you mature, you wouldn't want to betray us and do something childish now, would you?'' - guys. Just because YOU'VE called me mature doesn't mean that it's true. Maybe I am mature but EMOTIONALLY or got good grades at school. But it doesn't necessarily mean that I will abandon anything that brings me comfort and joy for the sake of a byname that won't mean anything to me. Ever. I think that being mature also means accepting what is dear to you and not being ashamed of that. Being mature is being responsible for your own well being - which you do by enjoying your hobbies! By surrounding yourself with things that will make you get through life a bit easier. Throwing everything out, or denying ever liking said thing is the childish thing to me here.

It's good to read that you want to embrace who you are! After all - we only have one life to live. Why waste it on pleasing everyone around instead of ourselves? ESPECIALLY if it's a hobby that does NO HARM to anyone (well maybe except your wallet). Don't ever let go of what you love, unless YOU decide it's time to move on. I still keep my LPS collection after all those years, after being told countless of times to ''sell them, because you will save some good money'' or just to give them away. What if (stay with me here) I WILL decide what to do with MY property?

And regarding those people who've belittled you for your interests - I am still recovering from the same thing that happened almost a decade ago at school. But I've learned that not everyone behaves like those mean bullies - maybe some people are genuinely interested in what I have to say? Maybe we can bond over this? Maybe I can get a new friend who will accept my ''weird'' hobbies? And thanks to that mindset I've tried opening to more and more people, only to find out that those bullies were the MINORITY and usually people are glad to hear they're not alone in their hobbies or pleasant memories. It made me feel so much less anxious about myself, I can't recommend trying to open up enough!! Sorry if this ask got long, I had plenty of thoughts in my brain it seems, haha. Anyway, OP you're not alone in your struggles and if you have any worries feel free to say so! Stay awesome <3

~lots of love from anon

i think it's kinda insane that adults expect children to immediately grow out of the things they like in favor of more "mature" interests and media. like, why can't that 13 year old watch my little pony? would you prefer it if they were watching that or something like euphoria? 😭 why is it so bad and weird when children are acting like children and want to engage with media that was literally created for them. that's something i don't think i'll ever understand

i'm happy to now be surrounded by people who care about me and indulge in my interests, and i hope you are able to have that too anon !!

#🍭.asks

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willowser · 2 years

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[ nsfw ] — edit to say: there is now a prequel piece to this 🤗

"yer a married woman."

kirishima murmurs it to your mare quietly, scrubbing a rough hand down the front of her muzzle as he frowns, as the words sit between you both like a life sentence. a royal order not even you can overturn.

"i am," you agree, and his eyes flick to yours over the saddle for just a moment before falling away, ashamed. for all that he lacks in wealth and class, he's more honorable than any knight you've ever known, more respect in his pouty lips than in all the kings of the north. if only you could be the same, then perhaps this hurt wouldn't wound you both so deeply. "are you married, ser eijirou?"

"no, 'm not," his frown deepens, even pulling a crease between his eyebrows as he stares at the ground, hard as iron. "'n i beg yer pardon, m'lady, but i'm no ser."

his tone doesn't lighten, not even when he peeks again to find you smiling coyly; instead he turns his back to fiddle with a rake, kicking straw into the corner of the stable to busy himself—from you. he's only trying to protect you both, but you expected more from him, after what's happened. you can't help but want for more.

worry twists in your stomach. "...do you think ill of me?"

"no, i—not at all, no. no." kirishima sighs and straightens his back, turning his eyes to the wood ceiling as he thinks. a small huff of laughter leaves him and, even if you cannot see his face, the knowledge of his smile puts butterflies in your belly. hope. "if i—i would have to speak ill of myself, if i did."

"and why's that?"

you want him to turn and look at you the way he always has: a step too far out of reach, eyes burning as warm as the blush on his neck, offering a crooked grin before nodding his respects. kirishima's always been so kind, gifting sunshine in return for only a small smile—which has never been an issue to relinquish. not to him.

in the amber light of candles, you think he glows, a gem still to be unearthed. if only you were selfless enough to do so; this is one jewel you'll not give so easily.

kirishima says, "'cause you bein' wed didn't stop me when it should've," and everything ceases. to beat, to pump, to expand in your chest, aching in stillness when he continues. "i should've never touched you."

you gasp. lightly, but with enough intake that he finally faces you, expression twisted with a regret you've never known on him. in all the nights you've shared, hidden away, your conversations have always been cheery and teasing, laced with something neither of you could speak to. you've never seen him so—guilty, almost embarrassed at the way he held you when you met last, when he touched you for the first time. humiliated, perhaps—

your stomach sinks, sours under the acidity of heartbreak, and you give him one, final nod before turning to leave.

"fuckin' hell, i—not that i didn't want to," kirishima rushes, both in word and movement as he stumbles around the mare to close in on you. his hands come up to hold your face gently, thumbs rubbing against your cheekbones until you look into his eyes and—there he is. soft and wanting, just as you. "i still do, but i've made things worse for m'self. because i—" you watch his throat as it works, the edge of his tongue as it dampens his lips. his pupils as they bloom, as he looses his breath. "now i know what you taste of, and 'm only goin' hungry."

you gasp again and all your nerves sing. what ache still resides spreads to the most dangerous parts of your body, throbbing, to where only eijirou can soothe. with him so close, you feel alight, and he doesn't fight when you lean up to press your mouth lovingly against his.

he doesn't carry your same passion, however. even still. he kisses you once, twice, deep and heavy before pulling away with that weight still between his brows.

you don't care, can't care, about what's right or honorable or fated; despite him, you press up again, curling your fingers into the hair that sits free from the low pony-tail at the base of his neck, tugging until he groans. "have me, then. please."

eijirou gasps and, though he tries to shake his head, his hands slip to fist into your skirts. "but yer my queen—"

"then do as i say."

finally, he smiles, all glow and gleam and shine, and he kisses his laugh into you, like he could pass it to you as his tongue brushes your lower lip. what hunger he speaks of—you can feel it too, growing ravenous underneath your skin as you move one of his hands from your hips to grope at your breasts. your boldness makes him shudder, but he kneads at you all the same, running a thumb over your nipple when it pebbles beneath the fabric.

eijirou groans again, playfulness leaving him as he takes a large step, guiding you backwards and into the bales of hay stacked along the wall. it's the move you've been waiting for, one you've been dreaming of since he did it the first time, and you hastily tug at the ties on the front of your dress when he kisses you so hard that you dip backwards.

the noisy rustle of straw has him stilling, trying to stop your hand as he says, "'m—i won't take you in a barn."

you frown up at him, like a child that's been denied, and make a fist against his hand when he doesn't let you go. "it didn't stop you before."

"and it should've." his lips begin to twist again, reminiscent of his doubt from before. when you lean back into the hay and tug him with you, he follows, but his grip on your wrist doesn't lessen. eijirou sighs and your gut lurches, as if he's going to reject you again. "'m ruinin' yer honor—"

"ruin it, i want you to." you breathe it and his eyes snap to yours, hold loosening enough that you can slip your hand between you to the ties on his trousers. "i want to be yours to ruin."

he doesn't fight it again.

kissing him is wet, heated like the skin over the hard plane of his stomach. it flexes when you run a hand over the thick trail of hair at the base of him and, with a low sound from his chest, he pulls back enough to yank your hand away so that he can untie himself. in his shorts, he's already thickening, and he hardly gives you time to touch him again before he's leaning further into you and hiking your skirts up to your waist.

you do your best to shimmy out of your own underclothes, but eijirou buries his face into what he can of your chest, biting softly, sweetly enough to leave no trace. you wish you could give him all of you, in a bed, in the candlelight as he grunts and groans into your skin, as he moans his love and spills inside of you.

when he licks a slow line up your throat, kissing your neck and jaw and cheeks and lips, you know he wishes for the same.

as soon as you get one leg free, he spreads you open, driving himself closer until you can feel the hard weight of him where you're most sensitive. it makes him curse, harsh and low as you whine his name quietly, and just when you think you can't take the wait any longer, he pulls his shorts down enough to slide his tip through your wetness before pushing himself inside you.

"fuckin'—hell—"

the stretch is bliss, just as it was days ago, when the tension between you snapped like thin ribbons of your dress. all that had been leading up to that moment—this one, too—all the careful, fleeting looks and secret smiles; the steady hand in your own as he helped you to mount your mare; the gentle laugh he shared with you, the funny stories he told to hear your own.

you want him, as badly as you've ever wanted anything, and that should stand for something with fate, shouldn't it?

you dig a hand back into his hair, pulling him closer so that you can return the same affections to the skin below his ear, allowing him and only him to hear the sounds he pulls from you with each slow thrust of his hips.

"sweet, you feel so—"

"eiji—"

and then there's a low thud outside, followed by a distant string of curse words, and you both freeze. hearts in your chest, breath in your lungs. it only takes another boot-step before you're scrambling away from each other.

eijirou tucks himself back into his trousers, lacing them up clumsily before helping you back into your underclothes. you busy yourself with your hair, trying to smooth it down, tucking it behind your ears and back into your ribbons as he adjusts your sleeves, hands shaking just as hard as the fright in your lungs.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—"

"oi, shitty—"

just as the barn door flings open, he jumps from you, turning to face a horse stall with the rake in his hands. his shoulders are shaking with every harsh pant of his breath and you have to tear your eyes from the muscles that tense underneath his linen shirt.

another man stands in the doorway, eyes cutting back and forth from you to eijirou before he bows his head slightly.

"your grace," he murmurs—bakugou, if you remember correctly. when you return his nod, he glares hard at kirishima, who finally turns, all curious with raised eyebrows. "y'got five more stables to do before y'can eat, so hurry up."

kirishima nods, eyes on the floor. "i'll be finished in a moment—"

"you'll be finished now."

he nods once more, fumbling with his tools before leaning them gently against the wall. from even across the stall, you can tell his hands are trembling, watching on as he makes them into tight fists before wiping them against his pants.

and then he passes you, eyes turned down as he whispers a quiet farewell. "m'lady."

when he's gone, bakugou says nothing, only looking at you for a silent, all-too-knowing moment before excusing himself to follow after.

you, yourself, wait, giving them the head-start they need as you will your heart back into its regular rhythm. in your slippers, your toes are still curled, every throb of your nerves still pulsing with remnants of pleasure that you should ignore.

but you won't, you can't, despite what's right or honorable or fated.

you pull the straw from your hair and you straighten your skirts and then you make your way out, up the cobblestone path to your castle tower.

#bark bARK BARK BARK #commoner kirishima PLEASE #he's so STRONG and HANDSOME and RELIABLE and RESPECTFUL #knows he shouldnt be looking at you like that but !!! he is !!!!#been thinkin about it too much !!!!#idk what happened here #i was possessed and had to write this idk idk #i had kirishima brain rot all day 🥺🍓#kirishima x reader #kirishima drabble #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: kirishima

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rotworld · 2 months

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Hi there,

I want to rant about fetishes. I know I'm into the more violent stuff, and I'm pretty sure I know why (lifetime of self-hatred and trauma to boot), but recently I've been dabbling in the guro side of things and I feel ... guilty? Ashamed? Also idk how to filter guro so I only see the things that work for *me* (drowning, bruises, beatings) and not the other stuff (dec*pitation, graphic torture). At the same time I cant help but feel like I'm what's wrong with the world. Do you have any advice for me?

pretty heavy talk ahead. i’ll start with the advice and end with a personal anecdote if that’s useful.

i want to start by saying you’re not “what’s with the world.” there are a lot of reasons people seek out gore and graphic content. for some, it’s morbid curiosity and for others there is a fetish component. if you’ve been through something traumatic, i think there’s a draw to view violence from a “safe” distance as a form of catharsis. none of that makes you a bad person. but i also think it can cross very easily into a form of self-harm and become dangerous.

i don’t know you well enough to make assumptions beyond what you mentioned here. if you’re experiencing a lot of distress or discomfort, or feeling more negative about yourself, then you should stop seeking it out completely. it might be something that you view to “punish” yourself, or use to distract from other upsetting thoughts or feelings, especially if it’s something you’re looking for compulsively or extremely frequently.

i also recommend cutting back on real gore, especially videos, if that’s what you’re looking at. those will desensitize you the more you watch them, and you shouldn’t be desensitized to real human suffering. those people in “infamous gore videos” don’t exist in a vacuum, they’re real people with childhoods and families who went through horrible things, and now it’s on the internet forever. if you’re worried that you’ve already hit that point of extreme numbness and don’t feel what you should or don’t feel anything, you’ll be okay if you stay away from gore for a while. those feelings you thought you lost will come back. when they do, i’d maintain that distance. stick to simulated gore in fictional horror media like movies or games instead.

in the past, when people have approached me about having guilt or shame about their interests, i generally told them not to worry. there’s nothing wrong with having noncon fantasies, or enjoying horror-themed erotica. as long as you’re able to distinguish fantasy from reality and don’t impose those fantasies on people who don’t consent to being involved in them, you’re fine. i stand by all of that. but this is about gore specifically which i feel is a little different. morbid curiosity or interest isn’t unusual but you have to keep it healthy and responsible. even if it’s purely fictional gore that’s giving you this reaction, you should still stop viewing it. it’s not “silly” or “weak” to acknowledge the emotional response you’re getting from something.

now the personal anecdote. i started writing explicit guro in 2016 (shades of it had been in my work before then). i had just graduated, i was feeling really lost, adrift and desperate for community, and i was extremely online. i followed a few people who reblogged real gore and went looking for it outside of tumblr a lot too. i was obsessed. i think i told myself it was “reference” for my work but it had the catharsis and fetish element for me too. these horrible things happened to other people instead of me, i could revel in it safely from a distance. but it wasn’t “safe,” it was harmful. it was so far beyond “curiosity,” it was a fixation and a crutch. i looked at it so much that it stopped feeling real and i forgot that the people in those videos were people at all. it was just a blur of gruesome, awful shit all the time.

there wasn’t any single thing that made me stop. i think eventually it just wore on me too much. i wasn’t doing any of this stuff in moderation, i was online constantly, i was posting constantly, i was writing intense guro constantly. and there’s nothing wrong with making a lot of dark art, but i wasn’t engaging with any of my other interests or living my life much outside of it. i have boundaries i stick to for myself now. medical resources, roadkill, pictures people share consensually of their own injuries, things i might come across over the course of my normal life are fine. i don’t go looking for anything more extreme than that anymore, and i don’t even go looking for “acceptable things” all that often anymore. that kneejerk “god that’s awful” response that i’d lost is back. some people have a higher tolerance for this stuff than others, but i’m not “some people.” i know myself and i know what kinds of things i can become unhealthily reliant on and why, so now i’m much more careful. you know yourself best and you have to decide that for yourself, too.

#rotpeach answers

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