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omg-i-think-i-like-you · 1 year

Text

cw: physical injuries, blood, puking, talks of death, descriptions of open wounds, very fragile steve, very caring robin.

I love this one. reading it kinda makes me cry too, so sorry in advance <3

it's been a week. a week since they barely made it out alive, escaping the upside down. a week since some of them didn't. a week since max was dead for several minutes and then her heart started beating again. a week since hawkins got torn into quarters, unleashing hell upon earth, swallowing up entire lives.

it's been a week, and suddenly steve's injuries got really bad, really fast.

he woke up breathless and covered in sweat. he felt like someone was stabbing him with a flaming sword. it was his back and his neck and his stomach. his head was exploding and he started getting scared.

he succeeded getting out of bed, and then fell to the floor in agonizing pain. he was getting dizzy, and started throwing up uncontrollably, every movement just making everything worse. he felt a little better when he was done, but his entire body still felt like it was on fire.

he reached up for the phone and called the number he could dial with his eyes closed.

"yeah..?" a tired, raspy voice answered.

"rob..." he managed to say.

"steve?" she was awake now, her voice high with worry, "are you okay?"

holding the phone was becoming too much for him, "please come..." he said and his hand lost its power. he collapsed to the floor.

robin appeared in his bedroom after less than ten minutes, turned on the light and found him covered in puke and tears, laying on the floor like a puppet. the view was too familiar to her and she started panicking. they burned vecna only a week ago, he can't be back, right? not so fast...

she ran to him and turned him over, his limbs were all in their place and his warm hazel eyes were looking at her, broken, irises surrounded by thin red lines from too much vomiting.

she pulled him slowly up to her legs and his face twitched.

"what happened?" she asked quietly and he shook his head, and then pointed to his stomach. she slowly peeled his t-shirt off, it was stuck to his skin and he released quiet noises that broke robin's heart. she eventually succeeded revealing his bites from the bats, which were inflamed, red and hot. she hovered over them with her fingers and felt a wave of warmth. she then looked up at his throat and saw the same thing.

"shit, steve..." she whispered, trying to stay calm for him, "we have to take you to the hospital."

"no hospital." he said through clenched teeth, and tried to sit up, exposing his covered back. his t-shirt looked like part of his skin, covered in blood. his wounds were open underneath and robin was scared of what she might find if she pulled it up. she felt the hot waves of infection through the fabric and almost started to cry.

"steve, it's really bad," she insisted, "you need to see a doctor."

"no doctors," he could barely turn to look at her, "and no hospital. can't worry everyone."

robin knew this about him, of course. how he would never make anyone bother for him, how he would never let anyone know if he's hurt. she also knew that calling her and admitting he needs her was hard enough for him, so she took a deep breath and came closer to support his back, avoiding the painful parts.

"so at least let me clean those for you?" she asked softly and steve nodded.

she stood up and pulled him slowly with her, his legs could barely carry him and he leaned with his full weight onto her. she walked with him slowly to the bathroom down the hallway, kicked the door open and helped him sit in the bathtub.

she tried taking his shirt off, to assess the situation, see what she needs to gather in order to help him feel better, but it was no use. the shirt was glued to his back and steve almost cried by her fourth tug.

"steve, it won't come off," she said, trying to hide the stress in her voice. she promised him no doctors, but how can he help him like that?

"try wetting it..." he spat, grasping his own ankles and waiting for her to be done.

robin nodded and opened the water. she put her hand under the stream until it was lukewarm, and then pointed the showerhead to the top of steve's spine, letting the water run down his back. steve sighed.

"feels good?" she asked quietly, and steve nodded, "better, yeah."

she sighed back in relief, and kept washing his back slowly, while she tried peeling his shirt again. it was detaching from his skin and robin almost dropped the showerhead in surprise.

"it worked! steve, it worked," she almost hugged him, he smiled at her in pain.

"good, now take it off please..."

robin nodded and closed the water. she needed both of her hands to pull up the shirt, which was leaving steve's body with an uncomfortable noise. she threw it away after she carefully took it off steve's hands, which were up in the air, while he was barely breathing, and dropped them the second it was off.

the view under the shirt was unpleasant, to say the least. steve's back looked even worse than his bites. it looked like a whole layer of skin was peeled off, leaving his back a big open wound. it was bleeding, and pus was coming out of everything. robin looked at it, frightened, not even sure where to begin.

"you won't let me take you to the hospital, will you?" she made sure one more time, and steve shook his head with everything he had. she sighed and got up. "where do you keep the first aid stuff?"

steve gestured towards the small cabinet above the sink. robin opened it and pulled out pads, painkillers, and a disinfectant spray she found. it was expired, but only by a few months, and she preferred that over leaving steve the way he was.

she pulled a small chair and sat by the tub. she grabbed the softest soap she found in the room and put it next to her, and then opened the water again.

"tell me if it hurts too much, okay?" she said and steve nodded quickly. she started washing the wounds slowly, and kept making sure it's not too hot. when she finished washing away all she could get with just water, she put some soap on her hand and started rubbing steve's skin, barely touching him, scared to hurt him.

she did that for a while, slowly washing every wound. the back, the neck, the back of his arms. when she was about to move onto his stomach, steve folded and threw up all over his legs. he looked up at robin in misery, and tears started streaming down his cheeks, mixing with the blood and soap and vomit that were covering the bathtub. robin started crying too, and through the tears managed to help steve sit up, and started washing his stomach. she cried quietly into his wounds, praying she was blessed with magical tears like in the fairytales her mother used to read to her when she was little. magical tears that can heal any hurt. she cried and steve cried with her, their sobs blending with each other, echoing around the big bathroom.

robin was done washing steve's wounds after a few minutes. she sat up, wiped her tears, and washed all the soap with water. the wounds already looked better and steve looked at them, wiping his tears too.

"thank you, robin," he managed to put a broken smile on his lips, "it feels better."

she nodded, "turn around, please."

he did, and she started spraying his back with the disinfectant spray, and then he screamed.

"robin! robin please stop!" he cried in horror, "please it hurts, stop!"

robin got scared and jumped back, tears filling her eyes again, "but I have to disinfect it, steve, I have to," she whispered in terror.

"I don't care, don't bring this near me again," his pupils were huge and he put his hand out, like trying to push robin away.

"okay!" she threw the spray on the floor and sat back next to him, "I'm sorry," she ran her fingers through his hair, that was wet from sweat and water, "I'm sorry."

steve sniffled. "no, don't." his voice broke, "don't."

he started crying again. his tears meeting the water at the bottom of the tub was the only sound that was heard around the room for a few minutes.

"it's my fault." he suddenly said, looking up at robin, who looked at him back, confused.

"what is?" she asked, softly wiping his tears.

"eddie's death." he said so quietly, even robin could barely hear him, but she did, and her heart dropped.

"no, steve. it is not." she said firmly, and she felt her chest tightening, hoping steve would agree with her and let her continue taking care of him.

"it is, rob. it really is," he said between sobs, "he shouldn't have been involved in this. I should've stopped him, I... I told him not to do anything dangerous..." he hiccuped, "he shouldn't have been there, in the upside down... he had no experience with those things..." he tried to breathe, unsuccessfully, "he didn't know what was coming but we did, robin, I did. I knew and I let him come with us anyway. I let him stay with dustin, rob. I should've stayed with dustin. we... we know how to keep each other safe." he whined, "it should've been me, robin. it should've been me..." he threw himself on her shoulder and cried and cried and cried, and robin just held him. slowly caressing his hair, and cried too.

she knew steve well. she remembered how he begged the russian guards to take him before her without a second thought. she knew the glint in his eyes before he jumps into danger, ready to sacrifice everything for his loved ones. she knew that if he was with eddie back there, eddie wouldn't die, but steve might have. somewhere in her heart she was happy he wasn't there. she was happy he was with her, even when they were so close to death, at least they were together. she was happy she still had her dingus, a broken one, but still hers. but she was also so so sad. and hopeless. she didn't know what to do so she just said,

"I love you."

steve looked up, his nose was red and his eyes were puffy, "what?"

"I love you, steve harrington, and I'm here with you. and I hate seeing you in so much pain so please, let me help you?"

steve nodded. robin got up and opened the small cabinet again, where she found antibiotic ointment. she grabbed a towel and started patting steve dry.

"I love you too, robbie. thank you." he said softly and she kissed him on the cheek, and then started rubbing the ointment into his wounds.

"it's not your fault eddie died, steve." she said carefully, "it's heartbreaking. eddie was a sweet guy. I've known him before everything, and he always struggled. he had his band and that dnd club, but he was an outcast," she sighed, "and no matter how much he tried, he couldn't find himself anywhere. he was a target, and he suffered a lot." steve looked at her, tears covering his cheeks again.

"how do you know? were you friends?" he asked.

"we knew each other, and had some mutual friends, but I watched him a lot. I think he was already in highschool when I started, and when I got to senior year he was still there, and he was interesting to me, so I watched. he was confusing, had this 'ooh, get away from me, I'm scary and mean and will steal your money' aura," she wiggled her fingers and giggled, "but I knew he was kind, and loved his uncle and his friends. he gave me rides many times before I met you. he used to throw my bike in the back of his van on rainy days, and drive all the way to my front door." she smiled with tears in her eyes, "what I'm saying, steve, is that he chose to do that. he chose to go into the upside down with us. he chose to fight. he chose to protect dustin from the bats. he had a choice, and he chose us." she released a small laugh, "kinda reminds me of you."

steve's eyes were filled with every emotion a human could feel. surprise, sadness, guilt, relief. he wiped his tears, "he wouldn't have let me die if I was there, would he?"

robin finished with the ointment and cleaned her fingers, and then started to carefully bandage steve's injuries with the pads. "I doubt he would. look, eddie... like I said, he had his struggles. I have a feeling that when they started hunting him down, he didn't really care anymore. he had nothing to go back to, and he had a chance to protect us. I wanna believe he loved us. I think it was out of love."

"I think I loved him too..." steve said quietly and robin smiled in understanding.

"I know."

she made sure all of his wounds and injuries are covered, and then helped him stand up, softly wiping him with a damp towel. she washed his face, and then took him back to his bedroom, put him in clean clothes and sat him on the bed.

"feeling better?" she sat next to him and gave him a painkiller, and tucked his hair behind his ear.

"I am, thank you." he nodded and leaned into her touch, craving the affection.

she helped him lay down, trying to find a position where he wasn't in pain. they tried many ways, and ended up where robin sat with her back to the bedframe, and steve leaned onto her, with a pillow between them. he was half sitting, and it took the pressure off his back. his head laid on robin's shoulder, and she mindlessly played with his hair. he was slowly dozing off.

"I'm sorry..." he said, half asleep.

"for what?" she looked down out him, kissing his temple.

"that you lost eddie. I didn't know you two were close. it must have been hard..."

she nodded against his head, "I has... it is. thank you."

he tucked his face into her neck, falling asleep between her arms. she held him there, thanking whoever she needed to thank that he was breathing, and cried quietly into his hair, not daring to close an eye.

she can't live without him.

#i... yeah #this comes from me too sometimes #i love them so much it hurt me to write this #stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley #stranger things #post s4 #angst #stobin angst #stobin fic #st fic #i wish they had a better life.

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