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#icarus before flying into the sun (probably)

hyunsvngs · 9 months

Text

𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐩𝐥𝐮𝐦 - modern royalty au!lee felix x female reader

wc: 16.2k words (i’m sorry)

rating: 18+. MDNI

cw: felix and mc being dumbasses part 2, no use of y/n, again a vast use of sickeningly sweet petnames, MORE ANGST, MORE FLUFF, unrequited feelings (or is it), chan being a sweet but teasing older brother, feminist bang chan, smut warnings under the cut!

synopsis: it's getting close to your arranged marriage to your best friend, and you're getting more and more conscious of the guilt you feel that he doesn't know you love him. why can't you just be honest with him for once?

a/n: this is part 2 to my fic fairy flowers - thank you all for showing so much love :D I HOPE U LIKE THIS PART TOO

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

sw: making out, use of petnames in bed (again), oral (f&m receiving), fingering (f receiving), felix talking u through it, dirty talk (not too graphic i swear), handjobs, cum eating, loss of virginity (both), maybe a slight breeding kink or a major one idk, felix crying cos it feels too good

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You’d loved Lee Felix since the day you met him, and you were soon to be married to him.

It was something that you’d hoped would diminish with age, but the feelings only seemed to get stronger with every inch you grew in height. You dreamt of your sunshine the night after his brother - the Crown Prince - interrupted you two, the scent of baby’s breath filling your nostrils. It almost distracted you from the feeling of dainty fingertips traveling softly up your thigh to between your legs. It had, of course, been only a dream, much like any of your others about your best friend.

Other than your not-real sexual trysts, the pressure of becoming a Princess was heavily weighing down your mind. You wouldn’t be able to do all the things you used to do - gone would be lazing in the meadow on a Saturday, and you could probably forget about your book club altogether. You had little freedom beforehand given that Felix was a Prince, but that little freedom would be stripped away completely once you two were married. You’d be expected to appear by Felix’s side as an almost monarch, with a solemn but friendly expression on your face. You had to be careful, you had to be perfect.

Needless to say, you felt like a fucking fraud. There you were, completely and utterly in love with your best friend, and having to pretend that you were only pretending to be. You hoped this wasn’t obvious by your flustered facial expression while you sidled up close to Felix during your engagement party, dressed in all of your finery and feeling like a dickhead, to be honest. Felix had made sure that he had a tight yet comforting arm around your waist the whole time, a hand resting above your hip conservatively.

As if he hadn’t been making out with you a mere few hours before. That was something you hadn’t really addressed yet. It hadn’t been awkward, it had been far from it - you hoped that anything could make the atmosphere awkward between you and your prince - but you still felt guilty. You’d been going along with it, agreeing to it just being practicing. In reality, you felt like you were flying a bit too close to the sun, like that fucking Icarus guy in the Greek mythology tale Felix had forced you to read when you were still spotty teenagers.

“My lady?” You focused back on the man standing in front of you, Felix’s fingers digging into your side softly to bring you back into reality. He was some sort of noble, you weren’t sure of his name - he stood there with graying hair, a salt and pepper beard trimmed neatly and beady dark eyes staring at you. He didn’t even seem like a noble, really, more like a reporter designed purely to get information from both you and Felix.

“I’m sorry. What did you ask? I just got lost in my own thoughts. The excitement, y’know,” You mumbled in response, making Felix smile at the man in way of an apology. You tried not to play with the hem of your sleeves, another dress your mother had forced you in. You always thought you were of reasonable education, even having etiquette training, but you still felt out of place as the prince’s intended wife. The prince’s betrothed, even. You wished for a moment where you and Felix could be alone and more like yourselves again.

“That’s alright, my lady. I was asking about your love. I’m just curious, when was it that you realized you were in love with each other?” The man cocked his head to the side. You were flustered, leaning further into Felix’s side. He was beautiful tonight, he always was really - and he was ever so eager to save you when you were in an awkward position.

He did so at that moment. “I think we’ve always been in love. Just took a bit of thinking to notice it, right, sugarplum?” You blushed at the cringey nickname, elbowing Felix. The man chuckled at the display of banter and bid you both farewell, entering the crowd of bustling nobles. Felix’s statement weighed on your mind. You wished to believe that he meant it, that he loved you too.

You turned to Felix, humming as you placed your hands on his shoulders. His shoulders were broad now, unlike the way they had been when you were younger and he was smaller, narrower. You brushed off nonexistent dust on his dark navy suit jacket, playing with the soft blonde tendrils of hair at his nape. He’d been placed in sophisticated wear not dissimilar to yours, a dark velvet matching suit with a white shirt underneath. “Thanks for the help, Lix. I’m really nervous, to be honest.”

“You should always be honest with me,” Felix gave you a toothy smile, his eyes forming crescent moons. “You’re doing amazing, you know that? I know it’s awkward for you, so I had an idea. How’s about… do you want to sneak into my room tonight? I have to speak to Chan about some stuff once we’re done here, but I was thinking we could make a blanket fort and just talk. Just us, like old times?”

You smiled at the memory. You and Felix, prior to it being frowned upon to be in each other’s chambers, building blanket and pillow forts and reading books draped over one another. Your mothers would both smile upon finding you two drooling in the morning, books still open and more often than not fallen on your face and giving you a sore nose the next day. You were still as enchanted by him as you were years before, staring at the constellation of fawn freckles on his face.

“Of course, Lixie. I’ll be there.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You had a plan.

A plan to confess, actually. You’d never made such a brave decision in your life, not even those times you kissed Changbin when you were younger. You’d been studying, investigating, brainstorming - much like those detectives in the television shows Felix made you watch who stand with a board adorned with pictures and red string, going insane. You’d had an idea following the ending of the engagement party, and decided that you were going to recommend a book to Felix. It was an action that wasn’t out of the ordinary, and you had just the right idea. It would be a confession without being so explicit and embarrassing.

Following the party, you made quick work of your plan before your blanket fort date with Felix. Were you allowed to call it a date, now that you were going to be getting married? You decided you could. It was your turn to discuss a book for your book club, and you decided you were going to recommend Emma by Jane Austen. It was one you’d never discussed, and once you flicked through the few copies of the novel in the palace library, you were sure Felix hadn’t read it. His signature dog-earing of the old pages was nowhere to be seen in all of the pages you flicked through, so you tucked a random copy under your arm and returned to your room.

You hadn’t even read the book yourself, but you knew the gist from studying it briefly. It was a tale of multiple relationships between different characters, with a particular focus on a slow burn love that sprouts between protagonist Emma and her close friend Mr. Knightley. You hoped Felix would read between the lines and take notice of what you were trying to say when you handed him the book that night. You liked the concept of Mr. Knightley’s character - considerate, fond of Emma and had extremely high morality. He reminded you of Felix. Emma was nothing like you, however, apart from the fact that she made regular mistakes. That was exactly like you, you mused as you pulled your pajamas on to head to Felix’s chambers. This whole thing could be categorized as a mistake, but it was the boldest thing you’ve ever done and you knew Felix would be proud of you if he knew you were planning on doing it.

Or, he’d be absolutely scandalized. It was concerning him, after all.

You raised your hand up to knock on your Prince’s bedroom door, only to have the door swing open right in your face. The friendly, casual smile you’d plastered on dropped as soon as you laid eyes on him. He was dressed in a tight black tank top, joggers slung low on his hips and hair still slightly damp from a shower. You felt subordinate in a baggy hoodie - that actually previously belonged to Felix - and pajama shorts, a flimsy linen tote bag slung over your shoulder with a toothbrush and the copy of Emma laying inside. Your eyes were widened, staring at his almost bare shoulders, freckles littered all over the exposed skin. You hadn’t even put shoes on, for Christ’s sake, only a pair of fuzzy slippers with a baby chick on your feet.

“Hey, sugarplum,” Felix smiled brightly, before his dark eyes flicked to your tote bag. His smile fell, focusing on the rectangular shape concealed by the linen. “Please tell me that’s not a copy of Princess Diaries. I can’t do it again, I’m sorry.”

You scoffed, pushing past him and throwing your tote bag on the bed. “It’s a fucking book, Pixie. For our club, remember?”

Felix let out one of his award winning giggles, throwing himself down onto his plush bed. His room was obviously more lavish than yours, and you took a second to take it all in, given that it had been so long since you’d entered the room. The sheets were soft - the type of comfort that was obvious just from gazing at them, and the four poster bed was adorned with a sheer beige canopy that hung over the bed frame. You tried to avoid looking at Felix as you spun around and stared, taking in the moonlight flickering in through the curtains. The room was lit only by two bedside lamps, giving it a cozy ambience and making your Prince look even more ethereal - if that was possible. His hair fanned out around him as he waited in silence.

When you finally looked at him again, the signature Felix smile was plastered on his face. Dumb Felix comment incoming, you registered. “I have two issues with this current situation, sugarplum.”

You groaned, throwing yourself onto the bed. You made quick work and shuffled your slippers off, letting them drop to the hardwood floor unceremoniously and hiding your face in the pillow. You let one eye poke over the pillowcase as you looked at him, speaking, “and what would that be, your majesty?”

Felix elbowed you playfully at the quip before rolling over onto his side, his light blonde fringe taking up a lot of the beautiful face that you wanted nothing more than to stare at. “Firstly, it’s not book club day, which means all talk of books is strictly prohibited and also frowned upon. It is the agreed upon rules.”

“By whom? Who agreed to that?” You were teasing him, grinning into the pillowcase.

“Me!” Felix yelled. “And you. You established the rule! Secondly, you should be staring at me, your smoking hot fiance, not the room! You’ll have plenty of time to lay in this bed when we’re married, plenty of time to stare at the walls while we-”

“F- Felix!” You screamed, trying to push him off the bed with your feet, using all your body weight. He simply smiled at you cockily, pushing your feet off of him and widening his eyes to taunt you. “I- Don’t talk about us doing that! It’s… uncouth.”

“Uncouth? Were you thinking of us having sex?! I was going to say watching films together, but seeing as you’re so focused on what almost happened earlier…” You were lost for words as Felix stared at you, raising an eyebrow. You tried to stutter out a few things before just giving up, groaning in response to Felix’s giggle at your struggle.

You jumped up from the bed, grabbing the pillow with one hand and hitting him with it. Felix squealed, kicking his legs out playfully. You avoided looking at the sliver of skin that was revealed through the action, courtesy of his loose-fitting joggers. You sighed. “Blanket fort, Pixie. It’s game time.”

After half an hour of you and Felix bickering over the construction of your blanket fort - he insisted on using the bed frame and the canopy to make it cozier, but you tried to explain you had nothing to use to attach his spare blankets to the frame. He quickly realized that you were, in fact, correct once the blankets fell off of the wooden posts and onto your head, blinding you with fluffy cotton - you were finally settled. You both laid wrapped up snug as bugs in the blankets, only your heads poking out as you stared at each other comfortably.

“Let’s sleep like this,” Felix chirped. “Burritos.”

You giggled, nuzzling further into the blanket wrapped around you. “We should’ve put a film on before we got all cozy like this.”

“No need, we can talk about the book you brought here. What is it you wanted me to read?”

You blanched, staring down at the blanket. Felix’s head barely poked out of the fabric. He gazed at you as you struggled to speak yet again. “It’s- no book club talk. It’s not book club day.”

Felix rolled over and hit you in his blanket burrito, headbutting your chest softly. Now that he’d rolled over on the mattress, he was closer to you, almost nose to nose. You bit your lip, not noticing his eyes flickering down to your bottom lip.

“It’s called Emma,” you began. “One of, um… Jane Austen’s books. It’s- It’s. It’s good. I just thought… you’d enjoy it, y’know? Then we can like, discuss theories, or something. Discuss the book. The characters. The plot. There’s, like- yeah.”

This had to go in the top three, if not the top of worst confessions ever. Felix was simply staring at you, nodding, letting you speak. He’d always been understanding. Okay, you thought. You can say it.

“There’s two characters that remind me of us. Emma, she’s um- the main one. She’s the main character, the protagonist, or whatever. Then there’s Mr. Knightley, he’s like… you. Like you. He reminds me of you, and then Emma would be me, and then-”

You were cut off with a chaste peck to your lips, your eyes remaining open and widening with shock. Felix pulled away with a smile. You didn’t even have enough time to process it before he was speaking again. He was acting like the kiss was normal.

“I’ll read it, sugarplum. Sounds really good! I mean, if that guy is like me, he must be really fucking hot, right?” He was smiling ear to ear, trying to encourage you by joking around. He must’ve noticed that you’d never been so shy to talk about a novel you’d found before. You were normally the one who spoke more between the two of you, gushing about all of the language analysis and plot devices you’d discovered. You even went so far to link it to historical context around the novel most of the time. This was different though, you’d used yours and his love language of books to confess and he’d have no clue until he actually read it.

You briefly registered that you’d maybe made a mistake by doing this. First of all, you knew this could ruin your friendship. That was something you had actually considered, and you’d still decided to do it, because you were impulsive and nervous. That was by the by. But, now that you’d decided to give him this book, it meant that you had to wait until he’d actually read it and realized what you were trying to say - if he even realized, actually. Princes live very busy lives. Perhaps he wouldn’t even read it until after your wedding, in which case it was just plain fucking awkward.

Wedding. It still hadn’t really sunk in for you yet, the fact that you would be a princess by marriage.

You shut your eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. “Anyway,” you trailed off, desperately wanting to change the subject. Felix hummed in response, going with the change of pace. “What did Chan- erm, Chris, want to talk to you about?”

It was Felix’s turn to get flustered, shifting awkwardly in his cocoon and repositioning so his head was on your chest, pushing you flat on your back. You pulled your arm out of your own blanket to rest on his head, stroking through the strands. “Okay, so you know my mother is abdicating before she gets too old?”

“Yeah, it’s just a matter of time, really. Palace gossip has been running wild since Chan got married.” You felt awkward addressing Chan by his Korean name - it always felt too personal, but Felix didn’t react, simply nodding against your chest.

“Well, the Queen isn’t the only one who’s abdicating,” Felix began. His head was still on your chest, as if he refused to look you in the eyes. Was he insinuating…? “Um, yeah. So, Chan is abdicating so that his wife can rule her own kingdom, something against two heirs being married and both being monarchs. That means that I’m gonna be the King, so then you’ll be the, um…. Queen Consort. I didn’t want to- well, no, I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you to be scared off.”

“I’m not scared.” You really fucking were.

“You should always be honest with me,” your Prince chirped again, a familiar phrase. He shifted onto his forearms, chest looming above yours and his face mere inches from your own. You stayed cocooned in your blanket, your one arm hanging out and still positioned uselessly on his head. “Are you scared, sugarplum? It’s a lot of power. I understand if you’re scared.”

You sighed. “I guess I am, maybe a little bit. But I’ll be okay with you by my side, Pixie. I suppose I’ll be fine being your Queen,” You tried to joke, grinning, but the look in Felix’s eyes was anything but amused. He stared at you with his facial expression showing nothing but timidness. Your smile fell and you blinked owlishly at him, jaw dropped. “I- Sorry, was that not funny?”

“That’s… shit, sugarplum, that got me fucking turned on?” Felix admitted, his eyes darting down to his crotch concealed by the joggers and the blanket. You gasped, your eyes following his own as if you’d be able to see his naked cock through the layers of clothes. “I think it was the Queen thing.”

“The Queen is your mother, Felix.”

“Don’t- Don’t ruin the mood,” Felix groaned, throwing himself down so he was lying on top of you, chest to chest. “I meant like, you being the Queen. ‘M gettin’ all hot because of that. Sorry, sugarplum.”

Oh. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Felix’s cheeks were blazing while he pushed the blanket down to his waist with his right hand, fanning himself with the left. “Just you like, I dunno - being mine? You being the Queen? Yeah. That does it for me. Shit, it’s so warm in here. Are you warm?” He was still wrestling with the blanket, starting to grab yours in frustration. Your sunshine Prince was looking shy, and he rarely got shy. He rambled when he was shy. You wanted to save him from his awkwardness.

“Um,” You stated, rather intelligently. Good start. “I guess. Yeah. I’m warm. Do you want to like, maybe… practice? The wedding is soon, Pixie.” It wasn’t for another few weeks, at least. They were bringing the marriage forward, previously for an unknown reason to you. You knew after Felix’s explanation that it was because the Queen was planning on giving up the throne to Chan, who would then abdicate, leaving Felix to be the heir. She clearly wanted you both to be married before Felix took the throne, and you assumed the whole situation would take a lot of paperwork and celebratory parties.

You quickly registered that you wouldn’t even be able to sneak off and get drunk with Changbin at the parties because you were now officially a public figure. Shame. It was probably the only thing that helped with your nerves.

Still, you were now feeling the tell-tale fluttering of butterflies in your stomach and a growing tingling sensation between your legs at the idea of your best friend being horny while in the same bed as you. While on top of you, actually. You wanted to punch yourself in the face.

Felix went still on your chest. “I mean, that is actually such a great idea. Maybe my stupid brother won’t walk in this time,” He didn’t even look at you. “Actually, we should probably stop talking about my family members right now.”

“Yeah, you should shut up, Lix,” you chided him, trying to lighten the mood. You tried to seem false-intimidating, but you couldn’t even do the false part given that you were still half wrapped in a blanket. With a soft ‘hey!’ and a quick scolding tap to your ankle, Felix was shifting again, moving so he was looking directly at you. Your Prince, you thought, staring into his dark doe eyes and following the slope of his button nose down to his full lips.

You wondered if it was strange, what you two were doing. Chan hadn’t really acted like it was - he had teased you more than anything, but isn’t that what big brothers do? You wondered if anyone else had ever been in this situation, in love with their best friend and completely aware of the fact that they were taking advantage of the situation by being able to kiss said best friend.

You decided you didn’t care, especially when Felix was shooting forward to press those full lips against yours and immediately keening softly into the open mouthed kiss. This was something you knew how to do, considering you were making out earlier that same day. Was that weird? It had only been a few hours… Were you insatiable? Yeah, probably.

Felix did well to distract you from your racing thoughts, his dainty hands going up to your jaw and gripping softly. You always thought his hands were well matched for someone of his status - small and delicate, but when clad with rings they looked to be nothing but powerful. You let out a soft sigh when his tongue started to dance against yours, hands going up to rest on his shoulders. You loved the feeling of his lips against yours and decided you’d never get sick of it as you returned the kiss with just as much energy. You let your hands slide up to his hair, pulling softly at his mullet.

Felix liked that, apparently, since he groaned softly in his deep timbre into the kiss before pulling away. His chest was heaving and flushed crimson with a blush that showed over that fucking black tank top.

He looked shy again. “I want to touch you, like, in that way,” He blurted out, your eyes focused on the expanse of skin showing on his chest. You glanced up at him, seeing him biting his lip. “Is that strange? I mean, we’ll have to do it when we get married anyway, right?”

You nodded, shrugging your shoulders and trying to act nonchalant. “I guess we would’ve ended up doing it earlier anyway,” Felix smiled, more confident at your agreement. “I just don’t really know what I’m doing, Pixie.”

Felix cooed, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks and squishing them together. “That’s okay, sugarplum. Neither do I, to be honest, but I’ve been researching.” He hadn’t done anything like that either? Had he… he hadn’t waited for you, right?

You immediately wanted to change the subject, not wanting to be disappointed. “Researching?”

“I asked Chan,” Felix admitted, his cheeks pink with embarrassment. You scoffed, kicking his leg softly with your foot. “Hey! He ‘bones’ a lot, you said it yourself-“

“No talk about family members, remember?” You chided, smiling. You felt so relaxed with him - as you always had up until your recent love crisis - and you decided that if you were going to do anything sexual with anyone, it had to be Felix. Your Prince. You wriggled out of your blanket burrito, kicking your legs out triumphantly once you were free of your confines.

Felix did the same, pushing the rest of his blanket off and letting the fabric fall around his feet. He looked at you, smiling fondly and shifting so he was comfortably on top of you, your legs slung over his hips. He licked his lips. “Mm, come here.”

With a swift move forward, your Prince was kissing you again, this time with a renewed intensity. His lips were almost harsh against yours, but the fullness made up for his aggressive nature. His hands went up to your hips, pushing up the fabric of your shirt and his thumbs rubbing circles. Felix breathed heavily into the sloppy kiss you were sharing, and you shifted impatiently as you wished for more.

He was getting antsy too, something you noted when his mouth separated from yours and instantly pressed against your neck, licking and biting at the skin but making sure not to leave any marks. You couldn’t have people believing you’d had sex before marriage, of course, but you still whined the same as if he was giving you a million marks and claiming you as his. You thought about earlier, when you’d been caught by Chan. What would have happened if you kept going?

“We- Lix-” You were cut off with your own whine when Felix’s teeth nipped at a particularly sensitive spot on the crook of your neck. “We can’t have- Lix, fuck, listen to me! We can’t have sex.”

Felix’s head poked up at that, his eyebrows raised in shock and amusement. “We’re not going to have sex. Jesus, you just want to jump straight into it, don’t you-”

“No! I meant that we can’t have sex until the wedding. You seemed to be getting pretty excited, so I thought I’d just remind you,” you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest and trying to shift away from him. He didn’t permit this, his hands pulling you back to your old position by your hips. Your mind went blank at the show of dominance.

“We’re not going to have sex, duh. I want to touch you. I said that, didn’t I?” Felix was giggling again, flicking your forehead as a way of teasing. You frowned, and Felix immediately pulled his hands away from your hips, resting them in your hair instead. “Is that okay? Do you want me to touch you, sugarplum?”

He was asking for consent. You didn’t think Felix had ever asked you if it was okay if he did anything. Then again, this situation was different, and you smiled softly at the reassuring question. Of course you wanted him to touch you. You thought someone would have to be blind to not want Lee Felix to touch them. You personally wanted his hands touching intricately all over you at every second of every day. “I- Yeah. I want you to touch me.”

At your consent, Felix gave you a quick smooch to your nose and started to kiss down your body. He didn’t remove your shirt, only pushing it up at the hem so that it rested just underneath your tits. You’d foregone a bra for comfort, but you were quickly regretting it when you saw the hard peaks of your nipples poking through your shirt. This didn’t go unnoticed by Felix, and he grinned against your tummy when his eyes landed on your nipples, reaching up to brush his thumbs over the sensitive buds teasingly. You moaned softly in response, a high-pitched, embarrassing noise - but Felix seemed to like it, if the kick of his hips against the mattress was any indication.

“Never fucked anyone, you know that, sugarplum? Wanted it to be you,” he breathed out against your tummy, button nose nudging at the top of your underwear and bottoms. You squirmed, sighing out loud. “Wanted it to be you, always. But you’re so fucking…”

You almost forgot to reply when his teeth grazed against the fabric, heavy breathing now being spilled over your core. The sensation was hidden by the two layers of clothing, but it sent shockwaves up your spine just the same. He looked to be going insane, hair mussed with sweat and darkening the strands to a milky coffee shade while his eyes were blown wide with lust. His mouth was slightly open, exasperated, pouty rose lips permitting the erotic breaths of air to escape from his lungs. They rang off the walls like church bells, incredibly pleasant to your ears, juxtaposing the precariousness of your situation. “S-So what? Felix, just… please…”

“So fucking oblivious,” Felix whispered. His thumbs found themselves yanking both layers down at once to expose your dripping hole, clit swollen and throbbing, aching for the touch of your best friend. You felt yourself blush while he took you in, a deep groan rasping through the air at the sight of you wet and needy for him. Only for him, you thought, legs spreading wider to let him get a better look despite your embarrassment. He was looking at you in your entirety, eyes tracing a path over your labia and down to your twitching hole. He was murmuring incoherently, his jaw dropped in shock. “You’re so wet, sugarplum. Jesus, you’re so fucking wet, what the fuck?”

You groaned, throwing your arm over your face to hide. “Lix, shut up. It’s not like I can help it. You were kissing me, and- and stuff.”

“And you think your bestie is so totally hot, yeah, I get it,” You huffed again at the comment. He was getting closer now, breaths warming up the wet slick that had accumulated around your bottom set of lips. Your hands dropped to your sides, gripping the sheets awkwardly as if you didn’t know where exactly to place them. “I’m gonna taste you. That's okay, yeah?”

You nodded, shifting around impatiently once again. He let those small hands go up to hold your hips down, the show of power once again going straight to the pit of your tummy. The feeling was meant to be reserved just for your dreams, but here Felix was, reenacting everything that you’d tried to push to the back of your mind.

Just as you hit that realization, Felix was shooting forward once again, delivering a fat lick up the middle of your core. He groaned as he tasted you. His precision was anything but perfect, but he was eager, licking through your folds and cleaning you of all of the sweet dew that had accumulated there. He pressed a soft kiss to your clit, those plump lips wrapping around your button and giving it a quick suck before he pulled away.

Felix swiped his middle finger through your folds, groaning in that deep voice as you got wet despite him just cleaning you up with his tongue. “You taste so sweet, like fucking sugar. I knew there was a reason why I was calling you sugarplum.”

You whined when his finger breached your hole, immediately curving upwards to find that spongy spot inside of you. Chan had told him how to do some good things, you’d muse afterwards - but your brain was too fuzzy to think about anyone else when your best friend reattached his lips to your clit and sucked hard. You wondered if his finger would reach so deep inside of you, given his small hands, but he had clearly hit the exact right angle and pressed on it just as he sucked. Your hands went down to his hair gripping harshly. You didn’t realize just how hard you were yanking the strands. “Mm, fuck- more, more, please-“

Felix hummed in response, his tongue swirling around your clit while he continued to suck. You writhed and whimpered out loud, not caring of who heard you. That was something you’d also consider later, when your brain wasn’t so foggy with lust.

Looking down at Felix between your legs, you wanted to paint that image onto your eyelids so that you saw it every time you blinked. His hips were still kicking up a fuss against the mattress, small, aborted thrusts as if he was a bit too embarrassed to do it fully. His hair was messy from you grabbing onto it, something that made you retract your hands immediately. His eyes were practically rolling back into his head as he tried to keep his eyes on you to see your reactions, and his free hand was still pinning your hips down to keep you from moving too sharply away from his ministrations. He looked beautiful, as he normally did, but even more so now - your Prince looked thoroughly debauched. You hadn’t even touched him. You couldn’t wait to touch him.

You quickly noticed that just the image of him was making you hurtle closer to the edge. You’d felt this before, of course, many times when you shoved your hand down your trousers in your way of settling down to go to sleep. This was stronger, though. Every cell in your body felt like it was igniting with white hot lust, your toes were curling as you tried not to squirm and your jaw was dropped, unabashed moans and whines tumbling out. Your hands subconsciously went up to your tits, yanking the hem of your comfy t-shirt up and pinching the buds of your nipples harshly.

“Lixie, please, just a bit more, I’ll-“

Felix let go of the button between your legs with a wet smack, keeping his finger moving rhythmically as he came to lie next to you. His free hand moved from your hip into your hair, pulling you to face him. His eyes looked to be trying to figure out where they wanted to look - darting around your pussy, your fingers tweaking your nipples or the euphoric expression on your face. “Can you cum just from my finger? I want to see you when you cum. I want to see you when it’s all me, just me doing this to you.”

You whined, nodding as your hips started to pick up, thrusting into the rhythm of his hand. You briefly thought of how embarrassing this was - cumming from just your friend’s finger inside of you, only one finger at that, but you decided that was just the effect Felix had on you. “Yeah- yeah, I can cum from this, fuck- aah! Lixie, Lixie, please!”

“What are you begging for, sugarplum? I’m here,” He kissed your face, peppering small pecks all around the expanse of your flushed skin. He had positioned his hand to grind his palm into your clit. “I’m here. I’m all… I’m all yours.”

He seemed hesitant to say that, but it worked its intended effect anyway. You gasped and hurtled into an almost silent orgasm, but as if expecting a loud, nosy climax, Felix’s lips instantly attached to yours. Your toes curled as the bubble finally popped, so to speak. An euphoric sensation took over your body, beginning from the pit of your stomach and feeling as though it traveled all the way to the tips of your hair. You whimpered softly into the kiss, your hands gripping onto Felix’s wrist as he steadily slowed down his pace.

Your chest heaved with exertion. You were acting as if it was you who had done all the work, cheeks flushed and legs feeling stiff. You groaned as you stretched, your arms above your head until you realized Felix was pointedly staring at your exposed tits. Your nipples were still hard, perking upwards and Felix was almost salivating. A quick look down at his crotch revealed he was still sporting an extremely rock solid erection that looked fit to burst out of its confines.

“Was it… good?” He was licking his lips while he asked you. He wasn’t even looking at you; still staring at your tits with hunger in his eyes. You blushed, nodding.

You motioned at his erection. “Do you want me to…?”

Felix blinked owlishly. He had that deer in the headlights facial expression again. “Yeah. I mean, if you want to? ‘M really fucking hard, sugarplum, and if I’m honest, my dick will hate me forever if I force it to enjoy my own hand again, y’know-“

You shut him up with a kiss, giggling into his lips. A darting of his tongue into your mouth made you taste yourself on his lips, and you moaned, sucking on his tongue filthily. You had a burst of confidence then, as if it had only just hit you what you were doing. Your hand went down to his length and gripped it firmly through his trousers.

“Jesus, you are hard,” you stated, shocked. Felix choked back an embarrassed giggle, simply blushing and nodding with the teasing of a smile on his lips. “I’ll… yeah. Can I take these off, Pixie?”

Felix nodded eagerly, making you smile fondly at him. Rather than allowing you to take them off yourself, his hands were pushing at his joggers and wrestling them off in one go with his boxers, quite like he’d done with your clothes. He flipped you both over, positioning so you were on top of him with him laying on his back. You tried not to notice how you still weren’t wearing anything on your bottom half and your t-shirt was barely covering your pussy.

You instead focused on the skin newly revealed to you. He’d shucked his tank top up so his abs were exposed to you - those fucking abs. You thought you’d get over seeing him shirtless once you weren’t sixteen and hormonal anymore, but the tell-tale clenching of your pussy when you looked at his body told you otherwise. Your eyes went down to his length, chestnut hair trimmed neatly above the shaft and his cock resting against his tummy, hard and leaking. You felt bad for what you’d put him through minutes before. No wonder he was grinding against the mattress.

Taking initiative, you wrapped your hand firmly around the base of his cock, pumping twice in quick succession.

“Fuck-“ Felix was whining immediately, hips canting off the bed. He yanked you down next to him by your free hand, your legs slung over his thighs and your head right next to his. He wasted no time, grabbing your head and bringing you in for another kiss.

You tried to focus on kissing your Prince back while you stroked his cock, but you knew you were kissing him very badly. He didn’t seem to mind, just breathing heavily and whining into your mouth. His voice had shifted several pitches higher. It was so fucking hot to you.

“Mm- sugarplum, tighter as you get to the tip- and- and… hnng.. use the, um, the precum to make it wet. ‘Kay?” You smiled, nodding at his instructions. You knew you weren’t brilliant at it, knew you hadn’t done research like he had, so you appreciated the tips he gave you. You swiped your thumb over the head of his cock, through the slit, and dragged the wetness down to his shaft. The pumping sounded wetter now, a slick noise that was simultaneously pleasing and distracting to your ears.

“God, can you spit on it? Sorry, sugarplum, just feels really good when it’s wet,” Felix whispered. He looked embarrassed and horny at the same time. It looked fucking amazing on him, you thought, as you spat in your hand and returned it to his length. He immediately shot his hips up, toes curling into the sheets and his jaw dropping. “Oh God, yeah. Like that, Jesus, you’re good at that.”

“I’ve had a good teacher,” You rested your head on his shoulder, staring down at your own hand pumping his length quickly. He was leaking precum steadily, adding to the mix of the already leaked substance and your spit on his cock. You wanted to taste it.

Before even processing what you were doing, you were shifting again, settling between his legs.

“What are you-“

You sucked the tip of his cock into your mouth. The precum tasted like nothing, really, but it had a slightly salty aftertaste that wasn’t unpleasant. Felix’s jaw dropped in a shocked moan, his hand going to your hair and pulling on the strands softly.

“Shit, I won’t last long,” he admitted. You simply hummed and sucked harder, bobbing your head on his tip. You could’ve sworn you were meant to use your hand too. You had seen porn, after all. You reached up, squeezing the rest of his shaft and pumping it along with your hand. “Sugarplum, oh-!”

Felix moaned and bucked his hips up, stammering and trying to stutter out sentences. You weren’t sure what he was trying to say, so you assumed it was blabbering in the throes of passion and continued.

His fingers linked into your hair then, pulling your head off of his shaft. You blinked at him, hand resting still on his cock.

“Sugarplum, I was going to cum in your mouth.”

You frowned. “That’s the point, and you say I’m the fucking dummy-“

Felix sat up, pushing you down into the mattress once more and sitting between your legs. You tried to ignore how his cock was so close to your pussy, rather unsuccessfully as your core gave a betraying clench and leaked another rivulet of wetness. “I want to- sugarplum, I want to cum somewhere but it’s literally so weird.”

You tilted your head to the side in confusion. You reached down and gave his cock another few pumps. “Tell me, Lixie.”

“God- I want to cum on your pussy. Is that weird?”

You pulled away and sucked your thumb into your mouth, cleaning it of the fresh precum. Felix groaned at the sight and started to pump his own cock, pushing your shirt up again to expose your tits. His eyes immediately settled on them as he waited for your response. You didn’t even need to consider it. “Do it. Nothing’s ever weird between us, right?”

Felix nodded quickly, moving closer to you and positioning his cockhead above your clit. It rubbed against your button teasingly, making you squirm and writhe underneath him.

“Shit, be careful, sugarplum. I could slip inside,” He leaned fully over you, kissing your neck. He was breathing heavily into your ear now, making you play with the swollen buds on your tits again. “Could… could slip inside, and fill you up, and-“

“Y-You could. Can. Please.” you whined, wiggling again.

“No, no, can’t. Fucking can’t, not yet. Fucking want to- fuck- fuck-! I’m g’na…” He was panting, barely able to get words out that weren’t littered with profanity. You shuddered.

“Cum, Lixie, c’mon. I’m yours, all yours.”

You hadn’t even noticed what you’d been babbling in response, but his body seized up and you felt hot stripes of white cum shoot from his cockhead onto your clit. He was loud through the orgasm, swearing and whining in a high pitched tone. You were making noise too, little noises as if you were shocked. The warmth of his cum on you was erotic, yet weirdly comforting. Strange. Maybe it’s because it was his, like he was marking you as his territory.

“Shit,” Felix panted, flopping down next to you with a loud sigh. “Shit.”

“Shit.” You agreed.

“That was fucking good though, right?” He turned to you. You looked at him and noticed he looked like he needed some validation, eyes soft and vulnerable.

“Um, duh. It was amazing, Lixie. Thank you,” You smiled. “We should get cleaned up now though.”

Felix nodded, as if realizing the urgency of the situation. He darted around the room, using a small face towel to quickly wipe his softening cock and then he threw it at you for you to wipe yourself. It landed on your head unceremoniously, blinding your vision as the blanket from the blanket fort had done. You groaned. Felix giggled. Of course he did.

“Um, your underwear is still… wet. I’ll grab you a pair of my boxers, okay, sugarplum?” You nodded, slightly embarrassed. You made quick work of wiggling the boxers he threw at you up your legs, yanking your t-shirt down to cover yourself. It didn’t bother you being so uncovered in front of him, just like it didn’t bother you wearing a pair of his boxers. You’d done all of this a million times before - just not after doing… what you just did. You couldn’t even fathom saying it, not even in your head.

Felix switched one of the bedside lamps off on his way back into bed, a hairband pushing his hair back and a fresh pair of underwear on. He wiggled underneath the quilt, putting himself back into a cute burrito and gazing at you expectantly. You sighed, kicking the hand towel onto the hardwood floor and wiggling into the blanket with him. It was like you could read each other's minds in situations like this.

“Yay, sleepover,” He chirped quite happily. You let out a small laugh. It didn’t feel awkward. The relative silence was comfortable. You couldn’t wait to marry him, your best friend, your Prince. “I guess Chan told me some good things then, huh?”

“Oh my God, shut up,” You giggled. You let your face fall, giving him a serious look. “It was alright, I suppose.”

Felix gasped theatrically. “Take that back! I’m a master at it already, I know it.”

“You’re not a master if you had to ask your fucking brother-“

You huffed as Felix wrestled you to the bed, pinning your arms down and tickling your skin. You squealed when he hit your sides, thrashing around and trying to kick him off of you.

You hoped that you were right, that it could never be awkward, not even after he read the book and knew you were madly in love with him.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You stood on the day of your wedding two weeks later wearing a dress that had been worn by the Queen to her own wedding, many years earlier. You were grateful that the Queen had trusted you with her own dress, showing how much she approved of you, you supposed. It had been altered by one of the palace tailors so that it wasn’t too old fashioned, but still, the feeling of the satin against your skin reminded you of the many memories the fabric held.

They’d fast tracked your wedding to your best friend and it was a lot sooner than you’d hoped. You hadn’t seen Felix in a full week, due to him being preoccupied with wedding plans himself, and the only hint you’d had that he’d still been thinking of you was the bouquet of baby’s breath flowers that were dropped off to your chambers earlier on that day. You’d decided that would be your wedding bouquet. You didn’t even know if he’d read the book you recommended, if he’d even realized what you were trying to say.

The anticipation was killing you. Your dress was an off-shoulder beauty, a tight form fitting design that clung to your figure and flared off into an a-line hemline. It was conservative nonetheless, a bright shade of ivory that was almost blinding along with your mother’s necklace that she’d insisted you wear. She was fussing with your hair while you stared into the mirror. You weren’t displeased at what you saw, but you still felt a bit fake, like you weren’t meant to be the one standing across from the nation’s favorite Prince in the next hour.

Your mother sighed in frustration at someone entering the room, because your head spun to face the intruder and forced her to promptly drop the ornate clasp she was holding. Chan stood there, holding a box of chocolates with a cheerful smile.

“I come with a gift for the bride,” He chirped, placing the box of chocolates on the small coffee table of your dressing room. It was a spare room in your designated section of the palace that had been repurposed just for the day. You wanted to slap Chan because he reminded you of Felix, and more importantly, the fact you hadn’t seen Felix. You shut your eyes and pursed your lips, reminding yourself that it really wasn’t Chan’s fault. When you opened your eyes, Chan was motioning to the bouquet of baby’s breath on the table. “You got Felix’s flowers then.”

“Yeah, and no sign of the actual Felix,” You sounded petty, and you knew it. Even your mother scoffed at your statement as she fled the room to do something else - probably flitting around in panic, trying to get the tablecloths at a perfect angle. Chan laughed at you nonetheless, sitting down on a chair and still grinning at you. You pulled the off-shoulder sleeve up self consciously. “Have you seen him much? Is he okay?”

“Eh, not really. When he’s not preparing for the wedding, he’s had his nose in that book you gave him.”

“Huh?!”

Chan’s smile dropped, looking at you with confusion. “Well, yeah. He always reads the books you gave him. Why’s that a shock?”

“B-Because… no. It’s not a shock, just- I don’t know.”

Chan hummed. “Today’s probably got your head feeling fuzzy, I don’t blame you for feeling weird.”

“Yeah.”

He came behind you and you stared at him in the mirror. He kept his distance, but was smiling at you cheekily. He shoved his hands in his pockets in a nonchalant manner. “I mean, I’d probably be nervous too if I was in an arranged marriage with my best friend. Especially if my best friend also didn’t know that I was madly in love with them.”

Your eyes widened. How did he…? Okay, no. It was probably super obvious to everyone apart from the actual love interest in your life, to be honest. Instead of berating him, you did actually stomp your feet in anger. “Okay, well. The book was sort of my way of confessing. There’s two characters who are friends that fall in love, and I told him they reminded him of us. It’s sappy, I know-”

“‘S not sappy at all,” Chan cut you off. “I think that’s really fucking sweet, to be honest. I’m not entirely sure he’ll understand what you’re trying to say, though. He’s oblivious like that.”

“And he said I was oblivious,” you muttered. Chan’s head tilted to the side, as if asking you to repeat yourself louder, but you simply shook your head. “I’m going through with it.”

“Well, yeah, I know you are? You’re standing there in a wedding dress?”

“It’s going to be awkward when he knows. I’m regretting everything.”

Chan shook his head. He stalked across the room, placing his hands on your shoulders comfortingly. “Nothing could ever be awkward between you two. Who knows? Maybe he even feels the same?”

You groaned in distress. “He doesn’t feel the same, Chan. Shut up.”

Chan shrugged. “I mean, how would I know, anyway?”

You blinked at yourself in the mirror as Chan left the room with no further comments. How would he know? Um, maybe because he’s his fucking brother?

Wait.

You sighed, ridding yourself of the thoughts in your head. You had to leave now, to walk down the aisle, given away by your mother rather than your father and given away to your best friend. You didn’t have time to consider what Chan was saying. He was being fucking cryptic and annoying.

It was all backwards. It shouldn’t have felt right, but it did, weirdly enough. You’d been freaking out about it all day. You had been told by your mother to wear heels with your dress, and although they were only simple white kitten heels, if anything, you still teetered precariously on them and had horrible thoughts about flying ass over tit on the aisle in front of everyone. Felix would laugh. Hell, Chan would probably cry laughing too, but you’d be actually crying of embarrassment.

Your mother returned shortly after Chan left, and she had clearly given up on your hair. It had decided today of all days to be classed as an unruly mane, and so she’d tried to clip it up with some clasps but your hair just hadn’t obeyed. She huffed, brushing through it and letting it hang limply over your shoulders. It was your wedding day and you felt like a pig with makeup on. You sighed, pulling the veil over your face while your mother linked arms with you.

You looked at you both in the mirror. Even with your face obscured by the sheer veil, you were both so similar. Similar in height, similar in stance.

“Are you ready, dear?”

You felt tears welling in your eyes. “No. I don’t think I am.”

Your mother sighed, her fingertips brushing down the hair that she could access. “I know. I promise you, dear, everything will be just fine. You and Felix will always be fine, no matter what.”

You knew she knew. You knew she was trying to comfort you, despite knowing. She’d always been like that. Even when you’d been getting up to no good with Felix and his friends as kids and you ended up crying and throwing a tantrum upon being caught - she still comforted you. She was your mother, your inspiration.

You nodded solemnly in response to her statement, and she smiled a comforting smile on her face that was so similar to yours, yet weathered and aged like the books you and Felix enjoyed flicking through. She must have so many secrets, she must have known and seen so many things - yet she was still by your side, because you’re her daughter. You were grateful she was ignoring her job duties to comfort you and make sure you were feeling decent enough for the wedding. It had always been the two of you, after all.

You were led out of the dressing room by your mother, her arm wrapped around yours and her dressed elegantly, similar to you. She looked better, more comfortable in her own skin and more important, demanding authority everywhere she walked. You hoped you’d become even a fraction of the woman she was one day.

She led you down to the hall where the Queen normally took court, repurposed for the reception. You assumed everything would be taking place there, but then she was leading you out to the palace gardens and you were astonished. It was like having your wedding in a forest, beautiful greenery everywhere and the sound of soft tinkling music coming from a piano. You were being taken down the aisle before you even registered what was happening.

The guests all stood up politely, turning to look at you. A few of them even looked in awe, and you really hoped there was a God who would prevent you from falling flat on your fucking face as you walked down. Your sweaty palms clenched onto the plastic paper of the baby’s breath bouquet, crinkling under your touch. You were just staring at the crowd, jaw dropped rather embarrassingly.

Your mother spoke to you in a hushed whisper. “Smile, dear.”

They can’t even see my fucking face through this veil, you thought, but you smiled dutifully anyway. You noticed people starting to murmur, and you could’ve sworn you heard that people were saying how elegant and regal you looked. You wanted to scoff. Fat chance. You still felt like a peasant being forced to marry a Prince in a medieval show, or something.

Your eyes finally landed on him. There he was, your Prince, standing at the end of the aisle underneath a wooden wedding arch covered in forest green vines and baby’s breath littered all over the structure. You almost forgot how to breathe, and almost did fall on your face. He looked amazing. Well, he always looked amazing, but even more so on that day. The greenery made him look like some form of faerie prince. They’d dressed him traditionally, a white shirt with frills on the sleeves being exposed just underneath a black suit jacket. The frills went all the way up to his neck, clasping tightly beneath a silver chain necklace. Most importantly, on top of perfectly tousled blonde waves, a crown full of ornate jewels sat. You really did forget how to breathe, then.

You smiled softly at Chan and Hyunjin, stood on Felix’s side as his best men. Hyunjin looked beautiful, as he always did, straight out of a magazine. He wasn’t a patch on your Prince, though. You chided yourself mentally for that. It’s not as if you’d kick Hyunjin out of bed, it’s just that you’d now had, erm… bedtime activities with Felix and knew that he was a sex-god. Sexprince. Whatever. On your side, where you were meant to arrive, Chan’s wife stood as your one and only bridesmaid. You didn’t have many real friends in the palace, only Felix really, and she’d been fucking ecstatic when you had asked her to be by your side at the wedding. She didn’t have many true friends either, it turned out.

Before you knew it, you were standing across from Felix, eyes gazing into eachothers.

He mouthed a sentence, a simple “you’re fucking beautiful”. You’d slap him later for swearing at your fucking wedding. Seriously, he needed to have some respect.

The wedding officiant - another random noble - began to talk at that moment, now that everyone had sat down and settled. Your mother was staring at you with a kind smile on your face. You avoided her eyes. She’d pissed you off, but you weren’t exactly sure what she’d done this time. Maybe it was her being so nice. Maybe it was because everyone kept mentioning the fact you’re in love with Felix. “Repeat after me, I, Lee Felix, take you…”

You honestly zoned out, staring at your Prince. He didn’t even seem to be listening either, but you’d gone over this part in the wedding rehearsal. You knew what you had to say to solidify the marriage, but in all honesty, your mind was on what you’d have to do afterwards to consummate the marriage. Having not seen him for a while, your hand had become acquainted with the inside of your knickers rather frequently, and you’d come apart way too many times to the thought of him to be considered normal. You wondered if he’d done it, too.

In your train of thoughts, you almost missed that it was your turn. “Ah, sorry,” you mumbled, making everyone in the audience chuckle. You even heard a faint ‘the Princess is cute’, making you feel flustered and want to throw your shoe at whoever said it. You got on with your speech. “... f-for richer, for poorer. Um. In sickness, and in health, to love and cherish always.” It felt like you’d been reading it off a script. In all honesty, you kind of had been - you’d been staring at the space behind Felix and squinting to remember what had been written on the piece of paper placed in front of you so many times.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Don’t use that fucking tongue, Lee Felix, there’s children present, you thought. He, as if reading your mind once again, leaned forward and pressed a chaste peck to your lips, lifting your veil before doing so. You smiled, satisfied, and he took your hand, leading you out of the ceremony. The reception would be straight after, a gathering of people of high status drinking expensive wine and doing that stupid fucking laugh they do. You couldn’t say much - you’d been educated and instructed to do the exact same.

Only one thing was on your mind though, amongst the cheers and applause of the public at their favorite Prince getting married. You couldn’t help thinking that this was the beginning of a union, so why did it feel so much like an ending?

Once everyone was seated, you sighed and began to pick at your food in front of you. It was some posh recipe made by the palace cooks - everyone sitting in the reception was eating the same thing, and seemed to be enjoying it a whole lot more than you were. The whole room was decorated similarly to outside, green vines and flowers hanging everywhere from potted plants. Felix sat next to you, thanking everyone who wished you both well.

“I want to apologize, sugarplum,” He began, eyes staring at the plate of food in front of him instead of you. “I haven’t had a chance to read the book you recommended. You know, with all the preparations and stuff.”

Wait. What? Someone’s fucking lying here. Was it Chan or Felix? To be fair, you hadn’t had much time to do anything else either. But Chan had told you that Felix had his nose in that book all the time, and Felix was intensely avoiding eye contact with you now. Unless…

Oh, fucking hell. He read the book, knew what you meant and is choosing to expertly say nothing about it - because he doesn’t feel the same. He wants to just act like nothing happened. You felt tears brimming in your eyes. It’s not that you didn’t expect this outcome, because perhaps a small part of you did, but it still fucking hurt your heart nonetheless. A large part of you had hoped for something cheesy, like a large declaration of love and you two running to each other in the meadow and maybe him spinning you around in his arms or something.

This was reality though, not one of your romance novels. You blinked to try and destroy the tears in your eyes, before giving him a smile. “That’s okay, Pixie. I’ve been busy too, I get it.”

Felix held your hand under the table, clenching it tightly. He was smiling ear to ear. “‘S fucking sick though, right? We’re married now.”

You tried to return his energy. He’d sounded absolutely gushing, full of happiness, practically over the moon. “Yeah. So fucking cool.” You sounded devastated.

Felix glanced at you quickly with concern, his eyebrows furrowed. Before he could manage to say anything, Chan and his wife were standing in front of the table, looming over you. It was intimidating. She looked beautiful, dressed in a tight floor length pastel blue dress. It matched Chan’s own blue suit, and pastel blue had been your intended color for your bridesmaids dresses, had you had more than one.

Chan clapped his hands together. “So, we are excited for tonight?!”

You blushed, turning to Felix. He looked just as shy as you for once. His eyes were widened and he was finding the white linen tablecloth very interesting all of a sudden. Chan’s wife slapped him on the arm, grumbling about having etiquette. “I’m so sorry about him.” You found it funny, their dynamics - you followed Felix around like a lost puppy, whereas Chan’s wife seemed to have him on a tight leash.

In reality, it was extremely fucking daunting. You found yourself still nervous, even when the festivities had ended and you were standing in your own chambers. It all felt too formal. You hoped that in another lifetime you and Felix would’ve been able to do this whole thing at a more casual pace. Maybe you even would’ve been able to lose your virginity to him before you got married.

You were greeted with a white slip of chemise laying on your bedsheets when you returned. You knew you’d be expected to wear something like that but it still shocked you, and you stared at it as if it was an illegal piece of evidence for a solid few minutes. It was delicate, the satin between your fingers, a perfect juxtaposition to what you’d be doing in less than an hour. You took your wedding dress off quickly, laying it out on the bed and putting it on the hanger. You wondered if your matching white lace underwear would be okay for Felix, before realizing that it was actually a miracle that it was even matching.

Once you’d slipped the chemise on, you stared at the mirror next to your armoire. You looked at yourself in surprise. It actually looked good, and you’d chosen to leave your bridal leg garters on. The dress met your legs mid-thigh, meaning the garter on your left leg was about one gust of wind away from being exposed. You thought you were meant to leave it on anyway, that you were meant to have your newlywed husband take it off for you in a sign of like, possession or something. The whole thing was so fucking medieval to you.

Slipping your coat over your shoulders, you decided to forego proper shoes and just slipped your white sandals on. Well, they were white, until you and Felix had commenced a full on wrestle in the meadow one day and now they were permanently stained beige from your efforts of planting your feet in the mud to punch him. Playfully, obviously. He still whined when you did it as if you’d battered him black and blue.

Stalking over to your Prince’s chambers, you realized something. Soon, probably in the next few days, you’d have to move all of your things here and then you’d be living with Felix in the palace. It would be both of your chambers, not his. The thought made you feel giddy with excitement but it also made your head dizzy with confusion. You weren’t sure what you wanted anymore. You were in love with him, sure, obviously - but you didn’t know how long you could keep up the facade if he wasn’t about to address that fucking book you gave him in all of your bravery.

You stood there awkwardly. Were you meant to knock? Surely you were meant to knock. Or maybe you just open the door. You’d be moving in soon, anyway, so it would make sense if-

The door swung open in front of you. “Oh, hi! What a nice surprise. How long have you been-”

“Just got here, like, this second,” You grumbled, arms crossed across your chest. Felix laughed behind you as you pushed past him into the room, clearly knowing that you had been standing there for a solid minute just staring at his bedroom door. You turned around when Felix pushed the door shut. He was wearing just pajama shorts and a t-shirt. You wanted to scream. Maybe you weren’t even meant to wear the stupid fucking nightgown. He’d clearly dressed for comfort.

“Why are you wearing a coat? It’s summer.”

You blanched. You looked down at the coat. You’d have to take it off eventually. “Okay, don’t laugh.”

Felix nodded. He was already holding back a laugh, and you could tell by the stifled look on his face. “Not gonna laugh.”

“You so are,” you huffed, unzipping your coat and letting it fall to the floor. You scrunched your eyes shut tightly, waiting for the impending cackle to come from your best friend. You felt like an idiot. You’d walked in here, all dressed up to the nines like some fucking prize for him to unwrap, and you’d been met by him in his comfy pajamas. Not even the nice, princelike pajamas!

After a moment of silence, you opened your eyes. Felix was staring at you, jaw dropped and a visible tent in those stupid shorts. Any sign of a smile had disappeared from his face.

Your brain was working at 100mph, deciding to have a severe case of word vomit. “Okay. So, this was on my bed. I’m assuming Chan’s wife left it there or something. I don’t know. I didn’t… I wasn’t sure if I should wear it. I feel really stupid now, and you’re staring, Lix, so can you just say-”

You were cut off by his lips against yours. He was pushing you backwards onto his four poster bed with ease, moaning deeply into the kiss. You squealed with surprise, hands going up to his hair to try and keep yourself steady. Once he had you situated on the mattress, Felix was immediately in between your legs, bunching the fabric of your nightgown up in his fists and his tongue dancing around your mouth.

You hummed, spreading your legs wider to accommodate him. You found your lips sucking on his tongue in a filthy kiss, much like the one you’d done weeks prior before his head was between your legs. You desperately hoped he would do it again. His plump lips were harsh against yours, his hands traveling everywhere across your body as if he was trying to be able to draw your body by memory after this.

Felix pulled away, breathing heavily. It seemed he really enjoyed kissing, because after everytime you kissed he looked fucking debauched. His hair was scrunched up everywhere - courtesy of your hands - and his chest was heaving. “Trying to- fucking hell, sugarplum. Trying to fucking kill me, I swear,” You giggled. He liked it. He liked the dress. You felt like a thousand rocks had been lifted off of your back. Felix smiled back at you, letting out a small laugh and shutting his eyes as if he realized the severity of the situation. His eyes opened, looking down at you. They were a deep brown, blown wide with lust. “I- Jesus. Do you want me to fuck you? We don’t have to, y’know-”

You shifted, bringing him back down into another heated kiss with a hand on the back of his neck. He moaned, his hands going to grab your nightgown again. This time, his hands went further down, sliding up your thighs and then he positively keened into the kiss.

He pulled away again. “Tell me you’re fucking joking.”

“H-Huh? Joking about what?” You sat up on your forearms. Felix yanked you closer to the edge of the bed by your hips, moving backwards with you and landing on his knees. You squeaked in response. He was sitting on the floor, right in front of you as your legs hung over the edge of the bed. His hands went up to your nightgown, pushing it up, and you finally realized what he meant. The garter.

Felix groaned, loudly, so loud you were worried that everyone else would be sending noise complaints to… well, who? They’d probably just pass an angry note under the door in the morning if anything. His button nose went to your left thigh, nuzzling into the lace garter. He was breathing heavily, harsh puffs of air being spilled all over your skin and making you feel warm. You squirmed, feeling ticklish.

Felix looked insane. He looked like he’d thoroughly lost his mind, all over you arriving at his bedroom door in a satin nightgown and a bridal leg garter. He looked up at you, his eyes dark and vast, as if he was looking for approval, licking his lips. You didn’t know what he was looking for approval for, but you nodded anyway. His teeth immediately bit into your garter, catching the skin just a tad and making you whine. He dragged it all the way down your leg, spitting it out on the floor before his head was back between your legs, licking fast stripes over your clothed core. The dress obscured his head just a tad, making you feel like you were doing something you shouldn’t be.

“Lix-” You whined, spreading your legs wider. He moaned against the fabric, using his hands to push your legs up and against your chest, to where you dutifully held them up for him. You had no idea why he’d made you do that, but all of a sudden, your underwear was shifting to the side and his middle and ring finger were sliding into your wet hole. It was all so fucking fast, you couldn’t keep up - your brain felt ten steps behind. “Aah- hnng, fuck, Lixie, so quick, Jesus- a- ah-”

“I’m sorry. Need- need to make you cum, so then I can fuck you,” you nodded at his words, hips canting into his hand. Felix stood up, sliding back on the bed to loom over you as he finger fucked you. You’d never had two fingers inside before, but God the stretch felt amazing, and it had you wondering what it’d be like when he finally got his cock inside of you. “I’m sorry. Wanted- wanted to go slow, shit. You’re driving me fucking insane, sugarplum. We don’t have to- we don’t gotta-”

“I want to, God- I want you to fuck me so bad, Felix,” you moaned in a high pitched tone. You were almost embarrassed about the way your words came out, but Felix was smiling, curving his fingers to hit your g-spot.

“Yeah? Do you want it that bad, sugarplum? Thank God, because I can’t wait to make you mine.”

You nodded eagerly, trying to wiggle your hips to get some stimulation on your clit. Felix shifted then, his palm rubbing up against your clit like he had done before. “I’m- I’m already yours, Pixie.”

Felix groaned, a deep groan that came straight from his chest. His fingers went faster, his palm rubbing your clit sloppily and giving you barely any friction. It was enough though. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer. He’d started to actually suck marks into your neck, something you knew you’d have to cover afterwards but you didn’t care so long as he kept bringing you this insane pleasure.

When he shifted again, bringing his thumb up to rub your clit more precisely, you dropped your legs and whimpered. You couldn’t focus on anything, head dizzy at the biting pleasure that was mounting and mounting up and bringing you close to your climax. He was so good with his hands. You wanted to feel him finger fucking you everyday, and a sick part of you reminded you that you could now. You were his legally, married, you were his wife.

Felix let your legs drop and came up to nuzzle at your earlobe, biting it softly with pearly teeth. You were babbling again now, hips canting rhythmically to meet his thrusts. “You getting close, sugarplum? You get nice and squirmy when you’re close.”

“Y-Yeah, yeah, gonna- g’na, yeah, g’na cum-“ You managed to stutter out. Felix simply hummed, and kept his rhythm the same. His thumb continued to swipe precisely over your swollen bud. That combined with the dainty fingers inside of you made you whine, and you grabbed the back of Felix’s head to kiss him as you came.

You moaned into the kiss, him dominating your mouth while your eyebrows furrowed and you let go around his fingers. He moaned back, feeling the slick from your pussy coat his digits and making the thrusting in and out much more slippery.

“Got so wet just for me, sugarplum. Mm,” Felix slipped his fingers out. You almost short circuited and died when he sucked them into his mouth, letting out a puff of air through his nose while he licked them clean. He giggled at your facial expression. “‘S sweet, sorry. You still wanna… do more?”

Felix giggled again when you nodded eagerly, a sweet chime of happiness. You were happy to please him. You wanted to fuck him anyway, because you weren’t blind and could see how fucking hot the Prince was, just like the rest of the nation could.

Felix was laying by your side, nuzzling your cheek when you spoke. It was probably the most declarative, decisive thing you’d said in a while. “We need a condom.”

Felix’s head shot up. He was looking at you with a guilty expression. “Um… I don’t have any, you know, heirs and all that.”

You hummed, saying “that’s fine” just as he said “kidding, lol”. You wanted to berate him for saying the word ‘lol’ out loud, but you were more taken aback by the fact you were fine fucking your best friend raw and hadn’t even put a second thought into it.

“That’s fine?!” Felix shrieked. “I was kidding! I totally have condoms, I was just winding you up-“

You punted him in the shin, sitting up to wriggle your nightgown off. It successfully distracted him and he went quiet, staring at your tits confined in your bra. “Get a condom then, Pixie. There’s nothing stopping you.”

Felix gulped, audible in the room. He was still staring at your chest. “Well, now that you’ve said it, I’m kinda thinking about fucking you raw. It’s hot.”

“Fuck me raw then?” You shrugged. Felix looked like he was about to die. He immediately shot up, wriggling his pajamas off. His cock sprang out of its confines, even more hard than it had been two weeks ago - if that was even possible. It was leaking just like it was before though. Without another moment to think, he was back on the bed, hands tracing shapes on your thighs.

You managed to unclasp your bra and flick it off to the side, and he was on you instantly. His mouth was wrapped around the bud of your right tit, sucking and making you moan. You tried to shift out of your underwear while he was occupied and he conveniently shifted upwards to allow you to do so.

With red raw lips from the suckling, Felix pulled back. “I… Please? Can I?” You nodded, spreading your legs. He took in the sight of you again with your pussy on display and groaned, pumping his cock a few times before positioning it at your entrance.

Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt. You’d heard horror stories of women bleeding on their first time and even feeling like they were being torn open, but all you felt was a bit of an uncomfortable sensation when he pushed in. It was a stretch obviously, but you found yourself wanting more of the feeling as soon as you experienced it. You could feel the stretch it gave your walls, wet core stretching to accommodate his length. He gave you a second, giving you kisses around your face in anticipation as he bottomed out.

Felix wasn’t faring too well, by the looks of him. His cheeks were flushed red beneath the fawn freckles and his lips were wet, as if he’d almost been drooling. He hadn’t moved yet, only just buried to the hilt inside your sopping wet hole, but his eyes still brimmed with tears at the pleasure.

“That feels… sugarplum, oh, please.” He whined.

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pecked his lips fondly, before pecking both of his flushed cheeks. “C’mon. You can move, Pixie.”

Felix immediately started grinding his hips at a slow pace. It was inexperienced, but the speed worked to make you feel a little bit more open and pliant for his cock to bully inside of you. It hadn’t really hit you yet, that you were losing your virginity to your best friend who you’d also just married. That could be because of the immense pleasure you were feeling, or maybe because Felix looked so fucking beautiful whining on top of you. Fuck, if the feeling wasn't heaven, just because it was him - you were getting fucked by your best friend and you knew you'd able to come back for more.

You moaned as he jolted into an extremely sensitive spot inside of you, making you clench your walls around him. “Oh G-God, yeah, like that. So good.”

Felix nodded, chest heaving. He positioned his hips so that he was thrusting directly into that spot, still at a slow pace but just deep and hard enough to feel fucking amazing. “Good? There? Is it- am I… am I good for you?”

You blinked. You took just a second too long to respond as Felix’s newfound submissive nature registered in your brain, and you smiled, brushing your fingers through his hair. “Yeah, s-so- ah- such a good boy for me, Lixie. So good.”

Felix’s hips stuttered at that, him wanting to go faster but not knowing if you could take it. He was terrified, worried about hurting you since he knew of horror stories, too. He also knew that it felt so fucking good that he could cry. He was about to cry actually, you’d noticed, his eyes watering just a bit more with every thrust.

His abs rippled above you with exertion at every thrust, his legs pinning yours to rest either side of his. He leaned down, kissing up your neck as he started to pick up the pace just a tad. His hair fanned out around him as he breathed heavily, eyes scrunched shut. He looked ethereal. He was clearly trying not to make too much noise, but deep moans and whines were ringing out when it felt especially good. "God, not gonna last long, sugarplum, I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize, Pixie. F-feels really good for me too," You moaned out, stretching your legs out further. You just needed it a bit deeper, just rub your clit a bit and you were sure you wouldn’t need much else. He was staring down at your core, where his cock was entering and reentering you at a steady pace. "Mm, Lixie?"

"Y-yeah?" Felix responded instantly, head raising to look at you. He looked as if he wanted to stop to check you were okay, but his hips had a mind of their own, pushing back and forth into the wet hole you'd provided willingly for him. His eyes were nearly rolling back in his head.

“I need… can you rub my c-clit, please, need- need it, need it to cum around you,” Felix nodded eagerly, groaning. He used one hand to reach down and rub your clit. You thrashed your head around in response, letting out the most guttural moan you ever had. “Oh, oh yeah, so good for me- hnnf- I’m not gonna last long!” He kissed your nose in response, heavy breaths and moans panting right into your face and only doing more to turn you on. He was beautiful, perfect, and all for you. He was listening so well, caring the most about your pleasure and the way you wanted him to do it.

All of a sudden, his pace picked up, his hips moving in a frenzy. You whined when you felt it, hand going down to his abs in an effort to get him to slow down. It felt way too fucking good, his fingers still rubbing your clit. “G-Gonna cum with me, my Queen? God, please cum with me, need to feel it, I-" Felix was stuttering now, his head thrown back as he tried to keep a solid rhythm on your clit. You decided not to address the title he gave you. You also decided not to address how fucking wet it made you. “Sugarplum, my Queen, fuck, where do I- can I- inside?”

You moaned, feeling your orgasm building up. You pressed further into his hand and length using your hips, gripping onto the sheets behind you with your hands. His eyes were watering as he waited for your response, hands gripping your hips.

"Yeah, yeah, inside- in- inside, Lixie. Pixie, Pixie, oh God, you gonna cum in me? You gonna give me an heir?” Felix moaned loudly at your words, his hands clenching you tighter. You were babbling, going on and on about him letting go inside of you. He was loving it, hanging off of every word, tears now coming from his eyes at the pleasure.

“Yeah, ‘m gonna- Gonna fill you up, sugarplum, mine, mine, gonna- gonna- fuck, ‘m gonna give you an heir, gonna make you full of me-“

You whined out, clutching onto his arms and pushing back against his thrusts. “S-So good for me, Lix, gonna cum-'' You groaned, clenching down on his length one last time and positively exploding around him. You felt it all get wetter between your legs as his hips halted, pressed firmly against your asscheeks. His cock spurted ropes of white inside of you, making Felix let out a loud groan.

Felix collapsed on top of you, making you let out a “hmph” at the added weight. You let out a small laugh nonetheless when he started nuzzling into your neck like a cat, very nearly purring and smiling into your skin.

There were a few moments of silence before he decided to speak. “That was like, so fucking good. I’m g’na need that everyday, mmkay?”

You shook your head, grinning. “Should’ve never given it to you. Now you’re gonna want it all the time.”

“I just want you all the time,” he whispered. “Love spending time with you.”

“I…” You began, flustered. Felix was looking at you with pure admiration in his eyes, his now softening cock still inside of you. It was weirdly comforting. “I love spending time with you too, Lixie.”

“Mm, good. You’re stuck with me now, sugarplum.”

You fell asleep naked that night, cuddling your best friend after getting cleaned up and talking about the meaning of life. He hadn’t mentioned the book, and you weren’t sure if you were relieved or upset about it. It felt right, being in his arms. He was giggling, happy, poking fun at you when you said something stupid and kicking you playfully when you teased him. It felt domestic, like you were meant to be together in bed after sex for the rest of time.

You wished you could allow yourself to do it more often, but you just had no clue what he felt for you anymore.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You woke up next to your Prince, freshly married and freshly fucked. You let yourself laugh internally at your own joke before realizing the actual situation.

You’d fucked your best friend. More importantly, you and your best friend had just lost your virginities to each other and you’d loved every fucking second of it. What the fuck were you supposed to do now? You couldn’t even look him in the eyes during this, after moaning his name while he pummeled his cock inside-

Okay. You needed to wise the fuck up. You also needed to get out of Felix’s room, fast. You had to run. You’d never run from Felix before, but with the anxiety mounting in the pit of your stomach and your head feeling like you’d been dangled upside down for hours… yeah, no. You needed to go.

You shot out of bed, looking at your Prince still tucked up in bed. He was letting out deep breaths, not quite snoring but obvious he was still deep in his slumber. You felt guilty for leaving him, but you were due a long advice session with your mother. You hadn’t heard from her or seen her, apart from the note she left you on your bed with the chemise dress.

The same chemise dress that you’d now have to wear back to your mother’s room. You sighed, pulling the material over your head and slipping your shoes on. You’d worn basic white sandals over, and had thankfully worn that oversized coat, so it should hide you from judging eyes.

You looked at Felix again. You felt so fucking guilty. He looked so beautiful in bed, quilt pushed down to his hips now and showing off his body. The sunlight was blaring in through the curtains and highlighting his abdominal muscles, and you just wanted to bury your face in his tummy and bite hard. You shook your head. You needed to speak to your mother. You were driving yourself insane at this point.

You scurried over to your mother’s chambers, thankful that it wasn’t too far from the Royal Family’s side of the bedroom wing. You’d always been placed close together. You did get a few confused murmurs from staff in your direction, but a quick scathing look from you had them shutting up immediately. Perks of being a Princess now, you supposed. People needed to mind their fucking business though.

You raised your hand up, knocking one knock, and three quick ones after. She’d known it was you from the knock, and the door swung open almost instantly. Her face gave away her surprise to see you at her door so early. You immediately crumpled, throwing yourself at her chest and sobbing.

“Oh, dear. Oh, no,” She soothed, stroking your hair. She led you into her room and sat you down on the chair, kissing your forehead. You felt immediately a bit better upon being in her company, but you couldn’t shift the guilt that you left. You’d done it for yourself, but when did you ever do anything for yourself? Apart from marrying Felix just so you didn’t have to see him with anyone else. You’d done that and disguised it in your head as being so that he didn’t have to marry someone he didn’t know, but in reality, you’d been selfish. It had fucking backfired in your face massively. “You… consummated it, I assume?”

You groaned at your mother’s words, reaching up and almost tugging your hair out of your scalp. “D-Don’t wanna talk about it. I need to… I can’t. I fucking can’t.”

Your mother sighed at your language. She kneeled in front of you anyway, placing her hands on your knees. “It’s a bit too late for that, I’m afraid.”

Sniffling, you tried to blink your tears away. It was of no use. They were tumbling down your cheeks freely like the summer rain you and Felix used to dance in when you went to your meadow. You groaned internally. Could you just not think about him for five fucking seconds?

“I… I’m not upset I married him,” you whispered. Your mother nodded, waiting for you to continue. “I think marrying him was one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. I also think it was the worst. I’m… I’m in love with him, and I tried to tell him, and… I just can’t process it. I can’t think straight. I need to get away, just for a bit, just so I can get over my feelings-“

“Going away is not going to rid you of the love you have for that boy, my dear. Things like that are eternal,” Your mother was firm, but soft. She hummed, looking at a space on the wall behind you before nodding. “How about you go and visit your dad’s brother? Your uncle? You’ve not seen him in a while, and it wouldn’t look out of the ordinary at all to go and visit family in the next town after getting married.”

Trust your mother to always think of the way the public would view it. Her job duties still ensured she was a diplomat in every case. You looked at her, in her eyes the same color as yours. It was a good idea. “That’s… yeah, okay. I’ll pack a case and I can go today. Is that alright?”

Your mother smiled again, her long nails going to scratch your scalp. “No longer than a week, my dear. Is that okay?”

She was approving of it. She must understand. You wondered if perhaps your mother had been in a similar situation years ago where she was in a catastrophe and needed to get away. She seemed understanding, and she was telling you what you needed to hear.

You wiped your eyes once more, giving your mother a quick hug before returning to your chambers. You managed to find a large duffle bag that you hadn’t used for years. You struggled to remember what you had even used it for before, before realizing you've used it to smuggle alcohol out of the palace and to a party. Made sense, because now you were using it for another bad fucking decision. It seemed to be all you did.

You shoved a few items of clothing in there, chucking your barely used phone and your charger in there too. Just in case he tried to call, you told yourself. As if you’d pick up anyway, you never used the fucking thing. Quickly getting changed into something more presentable and comfortable for the bus ride over, you slid your shoes back on and slung the duffle bag over your shoulder.

This was it. You were fucking running, like a coward. A part of you knew a week wouldn’t be long enough to rid you of a lifetime full of love for your Prince. A part of you still wanted to try. Seeing family would be the cover - you would actually be seeing family, but you were thinking of it as more of a mental health retreat than anything.

Padding softly out of the palace grounds, you gave a soft wave to the guards posted at the front. Luckily, they didn’t question you. You got a confused facial expression but you simply walked out, making your way down the street to try and find a bus stop.

You almost stopped when you heard quick footsteps behind you. You’d know the sound of those footsteps anywhere - you’d heard it enough times running up and down the palace trying to find you, or trying to run away from you when you were playing some dumb game. You shook your head. Not now, not fucking now. It’s too soon.

“Hey- wait!” It was Felix. You sighed, picking up the pace and dragging your heartbreak along with you. It was hurting you to leave your best friend, your only love, the one that had you enchanted by something a lot more complicated than fictional magic - love. You reassured yourself mentally that you just needed a week, just a few days to process everything and hopefully try to sedate your feelings.

“Jesus, when did you become a fucking athlete, oh my God sugarplum, stop running so fucking fast! Please, just hear me out!”

You stopped dead in your tracks. His pleading always got to you, and you were met with puppy dog eyes you knew you’d see when you spun around to face him. He was dressed casually, baggy sweatpants clad on his legs and a loose hoodie almost falling off one bare shoulder, exposing the freckles littered on his skin. He hadn’t even put proper shoes on - he stood in front of you in sliders. No wonder it had been so hard for him to keep up, you thought, rather pettily. The fucker hadn’t even put shoes on.

You huffed nonetheless, crossing your arms over your chest. “What is it, Felix?”

“I- I just wanted to tell you something,” he bent over, trying to catch his breath and putting his hands on his knees. You wanted to roll your eyes, but he still had you under his spell, and you felt sorry for him. Why had you been running so fast? Why didn’t you just slow down and let him catch up? “I… I know it’s hard. I roped you into marrying me, and it clearly upset you so much you wanted to leave, and I understand that. But then, the book you gave me, the fucking book! And… I know it’s difficult, I know you’re mad at me especially since we had sex, but I’ve been feeling this for like, ever, and-”

You blushed, arms dropping to your sides. “Lix!”

“I just wanted to say that…” Felix huffed, finally returning to his standing position and running a hand through his hair. His hair was wet with sweat, no doubt from running to catch up to you and in his thick clothes. You felt guilty for even wanting to leave. You knew you wouldn’t even be gone long, a week, max - but Felix was nothing if not dramatic. “This is so fucking hard to say, sugarplum. I had a whole thing planned, a big one. That’s why I never mentioned the book. But then you left.”

“God, Lix, will you just get it out?! I don’t have forever-”

“I’m in love with you.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

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maisen13 · 1 month

Text

The devil is real

Sukuna x reader

smut oneshot

i might rewrite the ending.

«Are you sure you can handle this sweetheart?” Sukuna said looking down at you with an evil grin. You weren’t so sure about how you ended up in this heated situation. Sukuna pinned you to the wall and eyed you like you were his next meal, which you probably were.

It all started when you walked into the hotel and bumped into this guy by accident. That guy ended up being Sukuna, a man most would tremble just to be in his presence. But something about him was so attractive. You couldn’t help it, his facial tattoos and muscular body were enough to start a waterfall between your legs.

He had been so terribly sorry about bumping into a pretty lady such as you, so he had asked you out for a drink. Anybody in their right mind would have said yes, so you obviously agreed to it. The bar you went to wasn’t so very far away from the Hotel, only a 10-minute walk.

He had paid for a few of your drinks and had danced with you on the dance floor. He was surprisingly easy to talk to. After your seventh shoot of the night and an hour of dancing, he had asked if you wanted to go back to the hotel with him. If you had been a little more sober you would probably have told him no, oh god who were you kidding, you would have said yes either way.

The hotel room was not very fancy, it had a decent toilet and a king-size red double bed. You took off your shoes that had made your feet pound on the way here and made your way to the bed. But before you reached the bed, Sukuna grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards the open wall. There he clasped your arms above your head and looked down at you.

“Where do you think you’re going, sweetheart?” He said with his free hand holding your cheeks. You didn’t have a chance to reply before he smashed his lips on yours. He tasted like alcohol, which wasn’t so weird with the fact that you had just drunk it.

He pushed one of his legs between yours, grinding it into your clothed pussy. The alcohol was getting to your head, and your legs felt like they could give out any second. If it hadn’t been for his strong hold on your writs, you were sure that your legs would have given up on you.

Your tongues fought for dominance, but his won. The hand that had held your face in place moved to grop your left boob. The overwhelming feeling of his leg grinding against you and the hand massaging your boob, was enough to make you moan loudly into the kiss.

He let go of your hands and boob and lifted you by your ass. Your pussy was now on the same level as his dick, without thinking so much as a thought, your body started to grind against him to reveal some friction.

It felt good almost intoxicating. His tongue went far down your throat tasting the inside of your mouth like a starved caveman. Big strong hands massaged your soft ass. This man had barely done anything and yet you felt as if the world was spinning.

He pulled away from your mouth breathing just as hard as you were. “What a good girl you are, let’s see if we can keep it that way” A shiver went down your spine. The wetness in your pants could probably overflow a desert.

He carried you to the blood-red bed, carried you like a feather like the weight of your mortal body was nothing to his almost godly self. Carefully, he laid you down on the velvet soft sheets. But do not mistake him for a gentleman for the piercing gaze in his scarlet red eyes could tell any person with a soul that he was from the deepest part of hell. Even if you knew this or not your body still burned as if you were Icarus flying too close to the flaming sun.

Sukuna stood at the end of the bed staring down at you lustfully and terrifyingly. The hair on your body stood up as if Zeus himself were about to strike you with his lightning bolt. He ripped off his shirt with a price you didn’t even want to imagine. His lean body was full of tattoos, tattoos that no ordinary man would have.

It creaked in the bed as he put his body weight on it, crawling towards you like a hunting lion. Your heart was beating fast just like an antelope trying to outrun the sharp teeth of a hungry lion.

If it weren’t for a few too many shots you had taken without a care in the world, you would have left the intimidating situation. In all the years of your sexual life, you had never felt so trapped. Even though your mind and soul were screaming at you to leave, to get out of there, to run until blood suffocated you through your fatigued lungs. Your body had other wants and needs, it felt as though every particle of your body wanted him.

The body overthrew the mind as he crawled over you. “let’s get this useless dress off your body” His words did not even process through your mind before the cold air surrounding your already overheating body. You were now only in a black silk bra and matching panties. “How cute, too bad we have no use for them”

You would think that a muscular man like him would be warm like the god of the flames had blessed him with his inner blaze. However this was not the case, his cold finger danced along your sensitive skin. Going from your navel to the edge of your bra, he did not stop the icing-cold movements until he reached the clips of your bra. He undid it with only one hand, the other one just as cold had found its way to your clothed but socked hole.

The bra had found its way to the floor, and your panties were halfway down your legs. The embarrassment of being naked colored your cheeks into a rose-red color. You had always felt comfortable in your own body, but something about this man, if he even was a man, felt unnerving. “Your body is as of a goddess, the oil-soft skin, the golden glow of your hair. If I hadn’t heard the fast pace of your weak heart I would have thought you immortal. However, you are just a fragile human girl, who I can so easily shatter like the thin ice on a river in the early morning of November”

The loud gasp from your trembling lips created a devilish smirk on his red lips from the heated kiss just moments before. “You make it sound like you’re not a human yourself” He stared at you, not saying anything. You stared at each other for only a few seconds, seconds that felt like an eternity, until he slowly without breaking eye contact lowered his head between your legs. “I will not deny you neither will I tell you you’re right. If I’m human or not, mortal or immortal I will still pleasure you better than any man known to mankind would or could.” After he said that he broke the intense contact and liked your wetness.

His tongue felt like a gift from the heavens itself. The pleasure was breathtakingly enchanting, was this a creation from a god or a devil? You felt cursed, bewitched, but also divine. It was addicting the way his tongue moved around your folds.

You could already feel an orgasm approaching through your veins. The whole world had stopped and for this few minutes were only for the two of you. Like the world was not allowed to proceed while the two of you became one.

A finger went through your pulsating hole, teasing its way into you, making your eyes wide and your fingers gripping the sheets. He was a man true to his words, he could make you feel more pleasure from just his tongue and one finger than any other man could have.

You looked down at him and made eye contact. This was it you thought, this orgasm would be the end of you. How could an orgasm be more pleasurable than this? It was probably possible to die of too much pleasure.

It hit you like a bus, the pleasure went from your clit and traveled through your veins through your whole body. Many unholy words left your lips as he helped you ride out your very intense orgasm. “I never thought a girl like you could taste good, I have heard through many years of my life that girls like you tasted like unwashed carrots, however, you do not. It’s sweet and arousing. I’m afraid that if any men get the taste of you they would want you as their own. Your taste can make any man greedy with want for something a lot better than themselves”

You weren’t sure what he meant by that, was it a compliment? As you looked at him dazed you couldn’t help but notice the big wet stain in his pants. Had he too orgasmed? “Now my little fallen angel, I want you to sit in my lap and ride me. Hmm? You don’t want that? After I had put in so much work for your pleasure you don’t want to repay me? And here I thought you were just a filthy slut so desperate to be filled with my cock. If you want to be a brat, then go on be a brat. I will make sure you apologize later like the good girl I know you can be”

He stood up and took off his remaining clothes. His dick was blessed in both size and length. With a red tip and precum running down the length. “Get on all fours with your ass towards me” His words were colder and more stern. You did as he said with your ass in the air and head in the pillows.

A hand spanked your ass hard enough to leave a mark of a handprint for you to find later. Only vibrations of a moan were heard in the room from the spank on your ass, the pillow was stopping most of the sounds from coming out. Sukunas hand traced your ass just where he had spanked it. His fingers were still made of ice, even the temperature in the room felt as though it had dropped a lot.

You could feel something lining up to your entrance and slowly making its way inside of you. The pain was burning inside of you, a fire you could not take out. You groan into the pillow in agony. Normally it would not hurt this much, but he was just too big. “Breath sweetheart, my dick isn’t getting any smaller” He was right, it got in fact not smaller, but rather bigger.

“What are you so big for?” Your voice was hoarse from the first orgasm. He did not answer you, however, he started to slowly pull out. Before he slammed back in again, making you gasp. He continued this method a few more times, and to your surprise, it worked. The more he slammed back in the more pleasure you felt.

It did not take long before stuffed moans could be heard in the room as well as skin slapping. He was going at a rather fast pace, grunting here and there.

His cold fingers held you in place, ensuring you weren’t going anywhere. “Only a god could make a being like me feel this good, but here you are doing the impossible. Maybe I should take you for myself and make you mine so that I can use your soft body as much as it pleases me, hmm? You would like that wouldn’t you?” His words went in one of the ears and then out through the other.

Your skin was burning like a forest fire, besides you were not sure if you even could hold your hips up to his level without his grip. Suddenly your legs were moving and you were now lying on your back in the now messy sheets.

It was hard to keep your eyes open, even so, you could still see a few glances of Sukuna. God was he beautiful, he looked like he was sent from heaven. Nevertheless, you knew better than to think of him as an angel when he was a devil disguised as an angel. Do you know what they say about the devil? They say that the devil can be beautiful. A fallen angel, roaming the earth looking for its new victim which now was you.

He grabbed a hold of your neck, forcing you to look up at him. “Keep your eyes on me, darling, I want you to watch me destroy you” You were not sure if he meant destroying your body or your mind. However you did not feel as threatened as you did before, perhaps this was the work of the devil.

His grip on your neck did not loosen up, it was hard to breathe. Dizziness corrupted your mind and your vision started to blacken. Panic formed in the pit of your stomach, and made its way to your brain. You tried to push his hand away from your neck, but he did not move an inch. The last thing you saw before pacing out was his crazy smile.

A cold breeze hit your face waking you from your slumber. At first, you were confused and disorientated. Until you remembered your night with that stranger, well he wasn’t a stranger, Sukuna, a devil in disguise.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thank you so much for reading (: please leave a note if you liked it<3

#jujutsu kaisen smut #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #jjk sukuna #sukuna ryomen #sukuna jjk #jujutsu sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #female reader #smut #sukuna smut #fanfic

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jadeacereigen · 1 year

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what's the water container symbolism with reigen

CASS YOU COULD'VE JUST ASKED IN DISCORD DMS LAMAHAHAHDFN BUT THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO POST THIS

Okay uh. It's been a hot minute since I've seen the Separation Arc (it is really hard for me to watch) but I will attempt to do something coherent...

So Reigen used to work as a salesman for a water cooler company before he abruptly quit to start his own business. It's implied that he worked at the call center in particular, since this is what we see of it:

Call center jobs are notoriously draining and monotonous, but Reigen was probably pretty good at selling to other people considering his gift for the gab. Still, he quit because he wanted to be something more than just that. He'd always wanted to be recognized by others, and a call center is one of the worst places to achieve that goal. You don't get to talk to people face-to-face, and he probably dealt with a lot of rude people as well as annoyed people who didn't want to be sold anything. Every day, he was just a random voice through the telephone (among many random voices through the telephone).

And so, he quit this job despite the stable salary to make his own business. But even still, his past continues to haunt him, symbolized by the water cooler he keeps in his apartment. We see this a lot in the Separation Arc, with shots like these:

IIRC that first frame is when he got the idea to start a psychic business, a place where people would come to him to seek his help in particular. However, that water cooler continues to loom behind him during his lowest points, symbolizing the insignificant past he was so desperate to rise above. (But at what cost?)

It kinda reminds me of Icarus flying too close to the sun after escaping the Labyrinth, how he plunged to his death and drowned in the sea. Water is something everyone needs to live, and yet we can drown to death when there's too much.

I think this part of the Season 1 OP really highlights that, how his boring past where he felt insignificant and unrecognized threatens to drown him. He becomes to determined to become someone special that he loses sight of what he really needs (someone to see him for who he is and accept him). He becomes a public laughing stock, true, but I think what horrifies Reigen most of all is when he realizes he was holding Mob back and using him selfishly instead of helping him like he did when they first met.

Fortunately, I think he does eventually rise above that massive complex of his, thanks to Mob and the other people he meets and helps along the way (: He still has a ways to go, but he's getting there. As we see in the series finale, there are now many people who recognize Reigen for who he is, and it may not be the entire world but it's more than good enough for him.

Bonus Reigen Drinking Water From A Cup in the Season 1 ED:

#jade speaks #reigen arataka #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #ask

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sanyu-thewitch05 · 7 months

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Yandere Demon Lord with an Angel Darling!

Daeman is a Great Demon feared by many,demons and angels alike. He's known as one of the worst in the Underworld,one day while he was strolling in a forest of the mortal world

He met her,the Darling,an angel who just happened to be there,he heard her sweet voice singing from afar,she was so sweet and kind. She wasn't even disgusted at the sight of him,she was different than all of those pretentious angels who would scoff at him if they see him

It was true love at first sight

They met eachother more and more in that forest. But Daeman knew he couldn't stop his growing love and lust for this innocent doe

He knew if he keeps letting her go,she would fly away from him one day. So he pulled her down to the Underworld with him

Darling was terrified ofc,she was so naive like a bunny caught in a trap. Daeman claimed her in bed afterwards ofc,while doing so,he told her that her God isn't here, only he is here

She became his darling wife afterwards, she's not getting back to Heaven anytime soon,now that she's defiled by him

Daeman was a sick bastard,he even puts a sigil on her womb called the Love's sigil, it's a mark of possession over her,it will even help him track her down should she escapes, when he activates the sigil,Darling would feel unimaginable lust,but ofc it prevents her from laying with any man beside Daeman himself~

After all he only wants her to lust after him and only he's the one to satiate her lust

A/N: Sorry this took so long to answer. I have two papers due in a week. Also, this is pretty tame, but hopefully, you still like it. I mainly based some of this work off of Hades and Persephone.

Also, here's a song to go with it, if anyone wants to listen:

TW: Smut, blood

You were a blessing to Earth. Everywhere you went, miracles happened. Ghosts went to the afterlife when you walked on their grounds, the darkest beasts bowed down and became domesticated, and life bloomed on your footprints. Your favorite spot is a quiet spot in the Amazon Rainforest. You love the biodiversity and the never-ending sounds of the forest.

"Ooh, ooh, just for the flowers, sea, and me," You sing, combing your hair.

In the clouds above, the most feared man in the underworld, Daeman, is watching for trouble or humans to mess with. Then, he hears your voice, and before he knows it, Daeman is behind you.

"Your voice sounds beautiful," Daeman says, sitting next to you.

You turn around and look him up and down. You see his wide frame, 6'5 figure, and long dark purple hair. You smile at him, light filling the forest floor.

"Hi, what's your name?" You ask, slowly moving your feet in the water.

"Daeman, you probably know me. Most people in the Underworld know who I am," Daeman says, unsure why you're nice to him.

"I do know. My angel friends tell me all sorts of things about you. But I saved my judgment until I actually met you. Which would be now."

Daeman's mind couldn't help but scream, "She's different! She's different than them!".

It was true love at first sight. Unbeknownst to them, two cupids are watching them from behind the trees. They pull out their bow and arrows and shoot at Daeman and you. An explosion of pink happens around the two of you, neither of you can see it, and the feeling of love settles in.

"I can't wait to talk to you again," You say, flying away. The sun eventually covers your figure.

"Wait-"

Daeman's hand is in the air, reaching for you but out of reach like you are his Icarus. He sighs and returns to the Underworld.

"Boss, what's wrong?" A fellow demon asks, seeing him reappear.

"Nothing, I just saw Icarus fly away," Daeman responds, walking into his mansion.

Daeman returned to that same spot tomorrow, and soon enough, you two met each other there every day. You two became closer and traveled the human world together.

"I wanna stay with you forever," You say, holding Daeman's arm.

"You shouldn't say such things around me. I'll drag you down like Hades did Persephone," Daeman responds, putting a hand on your cheek.

"It's ok. I heard what you said. I know you're afraid of me flying away from you. But I'm not. I'll gladly give up my wings and live a mortal life with you," You say, kissing Daeman.

"No. No! No! No! Stop! You're making it worse! Stop it!"

"Daeman, I want to be with you!"

"Don't! Please, don't!"

"I love anything you do. I love you. You know, even If I listen to music that is not my style, or even if I eat food that I don't like, or even if it's raining without an umbrella and all soaking wet, it's alright. I love it because I love you."

Daeman hugs you, and suddenly the ground beneath you disappears. You fall into the dark abyss with him and wake up in a bed with him.

"My angel, would you do me the honor of being my bride?" Daeman asks, pulling out a blood-red ring.

You were terrified. The walls were gothic and black. There's no sunlight. Only a red moonlight peeks through the velvet curtains.

"Y-Yes," You answer, stuttering as you feel something bad is happening.

Daeman slips the ring on your finger, and you feel a burning sensation on your wings.

"AAAAHH!" You shriek in pain, arching your back.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Daeman exclaims, cradling you.

Your wings burn away until they are nothing. Daeman's long nails go to your stomach and draw a love sigil. He couldn't help but follow his instincts. He had to mark what was his.

"What have you done to me?" You cry, tears falling onto Daeman's clothing.

"My love, you're my bride now. You've chosen to be with me. Your God has forsaken you for choosing a demon like me. I'm only here for you. You, my Icarus, flew too close to the sun," Daeman says, kissing every piece of skin showing. "The love sigil should be taking effect any minute now. How does it feel to only feel lust for me and no other man?"

Incredible lust overtakes your body, and you fiercely kiss Daeman. Nothing matters in the world more than him.

"My dear Hades, won't you show me how it feels to be with you?" You say, taking off your dress.

Daeman undresses, and soon enough, you both cave into your worldly desires. He strokes his dick, then puts it into you. Your pussy is unbelievably tight, and you cry in pain.

"Daeman, it hurts," You weep, crying onto his chest.

"I know it hurts, my love. Stay still, I'll help you," Daeman comforts, kissing your lips.

The love sigil glows and suddenly, your pussy is dripping wet. Daeman starts to thrust and you're overtaken by these new feelings. No one made you feel the way he did. Even in romance or in sex.

"Ah~" You moan, holding onto Daeman to keep whatever is left of your sanity.

"Yes, baby! Keep going!" Daeman encourages, trying to keep you from orgasming too early.

Your stomach feels weird, and your love sigil glows.

"Daeman, I'm cumming!" You moan, trying to hold it in.

"I know, my love. I'm cumming too," Daeman moans, thrusting faster. His long nails scratched your skin.

"Oh, Daeman!" You exclaim, throwing your head back.

You both cum together, and the love sigil becomes a faint mark. Daeman pulls out of you and carries you to the bathroom. He turns on the hot water and places you in the bathtub.

"My angel, are you upset with me?" Daeman asks, washing your body. The blood from your first time turning the water red.

"I don't know. I chose to be with you knowing the risks. I just didn't expect them to hurt so much. I never knew I wouldn't be traveling Earth and its skies again," You reply, hugging your knees.

"You said you would live a happy life as a mortal with me. If I became a mortal with you, would you be happy?"

"Of course. There's nothing I wouldn't give to see Earth again."

"Then, so be it. I will be a mortal too. And when our time comes to enter the Underworld again, we will be together. Forever."

You kiss Daeman and look into his eyes. He goes into the water with you, and you continue to make out with him. You both go underwater, feeling like you're on cloud nine.

#asks #sanyuthewitch05 #yandere demon #yandere smut

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midnightsun-if · 5 months

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If the MC was a mind reader for a day, what’d be the first thing they hear the ROs think when they see the MC? (crushing stage)

Koda: Just super excited— wouldn’t truly know what to do with himself. He’s coming over here! Oh, I hope he wants to spend time with me… Did I remember to wear my good shirt?… Is this my good shirt?

Scarlett: You probably wouldn’t hear anything of great importance— barring a passing thought of your chosen outfit, potentially anyway, as Scarlett isn’t lovey dovey when in the crushing stage… You would notice the darker thoughts lurking within the back of her mind recede, however— your presence being the proverbial ray of sunlight through darkened clouds.

Cyrus/Cyra: An influx of confused thoughts as they try to figure things out— everything you cause in them is something they’ve never felt before. Is this what Icarus felt like when he was graced with the sun’s presence? Will I end up flying too close as well? What will happen then? Will I fall or learn to soar?

Quinn: You’d probably hear a brief argument between them and their wolf: No, it’s not a good time for you to meet them yet…. Because I said so. I need to get to know them a bit more before I introduce my giant furry counterpart… Grumble away, see if I care.

Caden: Business as usual, but they’d be a bit more distracted than what’s typical. The report needs to be finished by midnight… Will that give me enough time to finish my usual walk with MC? They’d shake their head, clearly trying to right themself and get back on track. I’ll just figure something out.

Sloane: Would probably be having an inner rant about various things they’re seeing: Can’t believe that’s what they decided to wear… Who needs to wear that much pink?!? It’s like a marshmallow threw up on them— Cue them seeing you. MC would look cute in that travesty… (It’d be a fleeting thought but it’d cause them to frown and get a bit huffy.)

Blake: They’re crushing stage is a bit odd… as it’s typically wherein people grow closer (and it’s the same with them, in a sense, but it’s also when Blake tries to avoid you to gather their thoughts too). MC looks so good today… Why can’t I just walk over there and say hi? You’d see them begin to move towards you before stumbling, an annoyed expression on their face. Oh, that’s why. Because every time I try my heart decides to do the Macarena.

Reginald/Regina: Just a slew of questions and half-hearted hopes… Things that they’d like to know, that they hope are true, but aren’t brave enough (yet) to truly learn the answer. Would they want to go with me? Should I even ask? They look really nice today, and I think it’d be fun… Just ask them… It’s better to know for sure. Right?

#midnight sun #asks #ro: blake herrera #ro: c aurelia #ro: r presley #ro: quinn grant #ro: sloane addams #ro: koda kingston #ro: caden randall #ro: scarlett voltaire #scenario asks

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coffeeandkhun · 10 months

Text

Tower of God, Icarus, and chasing the light that could consume you

Okay so lately I've been over-thinking someone who's been bugging me since we were reminded of his existence in webtoon S3 c. 134 - Icarus. Why Icarus? From all the Greek myths? And don't get me from. I love Greek myths.

But as you probably remember, Icarus was, according to the myth, a youth who defied his father's orders and flew too close to sun. Sun melted away the wax of the wings his father had made him. He fell and drowned in to the sea. It's a well-known story and we've all heard about it. "One should not fly too near the sun". Yes, we get it - arrogance is bad for you. Listen to your parents. Humans can't fly, so don't try to play the god with some fake wings.

But it's also good to keep in mind, why Icarus needed the wings in the first place. He and his father were imprisoned in a labyrinth (or in a tower, in some versions) without any other way to their freedom than trying to imitate the birds. And, according to the original myth, avoiding the sun wasn't the only warning Icarus was given. Because Icarus was also told it's dangerous to fly too low. That is to say, the story of Icarus is not only about the dangers of hubris. It's about finding the golden mean between (self-)destructive ambition and total lack of it while chasing our goals and dreams.

And this is a prominent theme in TOG, too.

We know that before opening the door to the tower, Bam used to spend his days by trying to reach the light he could see coming from the ceiling of his cave. Then, when he met Rachel, she become the "light" he wanted to reach and keep near him. Bam's obsession ultimately led him to climb the tower, and like Icarus flying towards the sun, he was self-destructively obsessed about his target. This can be seen during the Headon's test and many other situations during S1. The light you find so beloved could also burn you - and the others around you. In S2, his obsession reaches it's ultimatum and he risks not only himself, but also many of his companions while chasing Rachel - before gradually finding other reasons to climb the tower, as well.

Khun A. A., on the other hand, used to find it difficult to see his life as worth the struggle. For him, it was Bam who become "the light", and gave a meaning to his life. His attraction to Bam is both beautiful and frightening, because it's clear he would go anywhere for him - even to lock himself inside a Suspendium for eternity. And one could say that him having the yeon flame/fire fish is one more manifestation of the themes of Icarus again, and a very literal one.

And for Rachel, of course, the consuming "lights" are the stars and the sky - or whatever awaits at the top of the tower.

You know what or who else are (sometimes self-destructively) attracted to chasing light, by the way? Moths are. Nowadays, we can see moths fluttering around the light bulbs, but in the old times, they gathered around the candles and naked fare - and as a consequence to their attraction to the light, were often burned to death. This is why moths are sometimes associated with the myth of Icarus, and there is even a moth species named after him.

There is also this beautiful poem by Muhammed Iqbal, The candle and the moth:

O Candle! Why does the moth love you? Why is this restless soul devoted to you?

Your charm keeps it restless like mercury Did you teach it the etiquette of Love?

It circumambulates the site of your manifestation Is it inspired with the fire of your lightning?

Do the woes of death give it the peace of life? Does your flame possess the quality of eternal life?

If you do not brighten this sorrowful world This burning heart's tree of Longing may not green up

Falling before you is the prayer of this little heart The taste for impassioned Love knows this little heart

It has some zeal of the Primeval Beauty's Lover You are a small ñër , it is a small Kalam

The moth and the taste for the Sight of the Light! This small insect and the Longing for the Light!

Moths are often seen at night, and are thus though to be mostly noctrunal animals, even though they can also fly during daytime. In folklore, moths are often associated with death. They have been regarded as spirits of deceased, messengers from afterlife, bringers of destruction - or even as angels.

One of the murals on Headon's floor depicts a moth-like bug:

(Picture from the TOG Wiki)

It's also quite clear at this point, that Bam's final form is going to be a butterfly - or, what I consider more likely - a moth. Now isn't this fitting for someone whose name means "night", who's literally died once and came back to life, and who's often told to be the one who will bring destruction to the tower?

Then would this mean Bam is Icarus? Well, it could be, but then maybe it's too straightforward to assume so. (Though I'd like to add that I don't think 'Icarus' in TOG will be the one who's going to be burned by their "light" in the end. It could also be that 'Icarus' in TOG is the one who is going to overcome the fatal flaw of Icarus - by finding the golden mean.)

This is all just speculation right now because we know next to nothing about Icarus in TOG. But as someone, who is easily fixated over things, and who has used most of their life on searching the medium between obsession, dullness and the golden mean, I find some horrific beauty in the fact that it's the same light that makes the life meaningful, that could also consume you.

#tower of god #tower of god spoilers #tower of god poetry #tower of god myths

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queenretcon · 1 year

Text

okay it’s Michelle’s birthday I want to talk about why I think this panel sucks

Probably wildly unsurprising for you to know I do not like Johns changes to Booster’s origin. (‘It was really Booster’s DAD who made him keep gambling!’ Shut the fuck up Geoffrey) But this panel from Booster Gold v2 #0 has been annoying me recently after I saw someone use it in a post explaining who she is

Because its a retcon. A totally unnecessary retcon.

We KNOW why Michelle became Goldstar. This is explained, clearly and unambiguously by Booster Gold volume #1. In fact the WHY of Michelle becoming Goldstar is her most important character trait.

She wanted to fly!

Jurgens hits this narrative trait HARD. Before the above Icarus beat in BG v1 #20, we see Michelle for the first time as a living breathing person and not a flashback in #15, and in that first moment she’s already in flight.

We meet her hanging out the window of her school bus aircraft, wearing the same blue & purple of Booster’s museum uniform. She flies the gang to safety, and Jurgens continues to connect Michelle with flight.

She immediately questions Booster on when he learned to fly, and then—because she’s got those Carter genes—she brags about how many pilot merits she has. She’s not just a pilot; she’s a fucking good one.

Aside from changing the narrative to remove acknowledgment of Michelle’s defining character trait, this change also downplays the other thing I find most interesting about Michelle: the complexity of her relationship with Booster.

In Booster Gold v1 #21, Booster states that he and Michelle weren’t close the ways twins usually are, and a lot of the interactions we do get between them include them butting heads or otherwise stressing their differences. Michelle & Booster grew up in an unhealthy environment, dealing with addiction and poverty, and replacing Michelle’s major character trait while characterizing Michelle as looking up to Booster doesn’t sit well with me. Rather than giving a complicated family dynamic further fleshing out, this return to the Carter family serves to simply make it seem even sadder that poor Booster lost his sister.

To present her this way to the many, many people who have only read Johns take on Booster feels like Johns doing what Johns does: flattening the women in the Booster Gold mythos to serve the needs of men. Again and again, the changes he makes to the established canon steamroll over who these female characters (Michelle, Trixie, Ted’s mother, Oracle, Black Canary, Fire, on and on) are and replace it with something worse.

Despite how often she is undercut by narrative choices like this, I maintain that underneath, Michelle is a great character—brilliant, talented, headstrong, difficult. And I want so badly for Michelle Carter to get her time in the sun.

#talk tag #meta #i have Opinions on michelle #I’ve fussed over the wording of this for like a week I’m sick of it take it

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sweetperversiongirl · 9 months

Text

Ian Gallagher has the gait of a large and formidable predator. He's always been like that. Even at 15, he looked like a skinny teenage Bengal tiger.

Mickey remembers every movement, every curve of that muscular and strong body, every freckle on his milky skin. He remembers the sun reflecting in that fiery red hair, making it look like unstoppable raging flames.

Once upon a time, he allowed himself to fly too high. Like the brave but reckless Icarus.

He didn't just burn his wings. Mickey lost his head and burned to the ground, leaving behind only a pathetic handful of ashes. For a moment he thought that was all, but he quickly realized how cruelly mistaken he had been. Even separated from Ian by hundreds of miles, he continues to burn, but he still doesn't regret one minute, one fleeting moment spent near this man.

Mickey sits on the tiled floor of the Guanajuato cat shelter and thinks about what his life has become. Where once Mickey simply survived to continue his miserable existence, now his priorities have drastically changed. Now there's more to his personal world than just him. Somewhere far away, in the Windy City, lives the one and only person for whom Mickey is willing to do anything. That doesn't mean he'll throw himself in front of bullets for Ian. More accurately, of course, he wouldn't hesitate to do so if it were a matter of protecting, of saving. But Mickey knows it's easy to die for another man. It's much harder to go on living away from half his heart for the sake of making that person happy.

A local old-timer, a ginger tom cat named Rusty, sits across from Mickey and scrutinizes him with intelligent green eyes. Rusty has lived here for a long, long time, probably most of his life, and so far no one has wanted to take him in. The shelter's owner, Maria, didn't have the courage to get rid of an animal whose gaze literally penetrates deep into the soul of everyone Rusty bestows his precious attention on. In fact, there have been very few such people over the years, and somehow Mickey has been lucky enough to be among them.

He has no idea how he earned the favor of this willful beast. Hell, Mickey doesn't even know why he came to this rescue shelter in the first place, months ago. Since then, however, he and Rusty have become real friends. Of course, as much as that's even possible with cats. Mickey doesn't quite understand why he's become so attached to this snooty bastard. Maybe it's the fiery red hair, or the green eyes, or the fact that Mickey needs a friend, and he's getting pretty bored with human companionship.

And no, Rusty doesn't make Mickey think about Gallagher more often. Simply because you can't think about anyone more than every second of your existence.

Rusty is as independent and arrogant as any member of the feline family. Unlike Ian, he is not looking for someone to be important to him. He doesn't try to be important to anyone. He is completely self-sufficient, unless, of course, he takes into account senile arthritis and progressive deafness. Mickey teases him affectionately, calling the cat Firecrotch.

Now he has to part with his furred friend forever, and it makes Mickey's stomach twist painfully. But now someone else needs him. Someone who once left a gaping hole in his chest that no one, not even Rusty, can ever fill.

Lowering his gaze, Mickey looks down at the cat and reaches out one last time to touch his fingers to the soft, age-tarnished red hair.

"I hope you'll forgive me, buddy."

Rusty's emerald eyes radiate what Mickey would call understanding and appreciation. He could, if he really believed that animals were capable of something like that. Perhaps Mickey has just never encountered true blind devotion before. The realization of this fact makes parting with Rusty even more painful, but Mickey will make sure his friend lives his life in comfort and convenience. The considerable sum he intends to leave to Maria will clearly help him in this. He trusts this woman. At least as far as her wards are concerned.

Mickey holds out an envelope full of cash to the landlady.

"Take care of him. Please."

Closing the door behind him, Mickey finds himself in a narrow alleyway, red-hot from the midday Mexican sun. He looks up at the pale blue sky, squinting against the bright light. No, he doesn't feel like Icarus. More like a phoenix ready to rise from the ashes.

It's time for him to run. He's been doing it for as long as he can remember. Mickey is always running from someone: from Terry, from Svetlana and the baby, from the one true love of his life, Ian. And now he's running from the cartel.

He has no idea how this epic marathon will end for him, but he's very tired.

But this time, a glimmer of illusory hope flickers in his wounded and broken heart. Hope that this escape will be the beginning of something really important.

#gallavich #shameless #ian x mickey #photobash #aiart

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java-lava · 1 year

Text

Really feeling like Icarus rn.

Honestly, I’d probably fly into the sun just to see Apollo too….

Even if for only a moment before the world crashes and burns before me…..

At least then, I’d fall with the memories of his face….

At least then, I’d die with the sun shining on me one final time…..

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joy-crimes · 1 year

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The new model seem to have ball joy-nts on the arms, do the pop off? Like a Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story situation?

probably if i thought i could fly & then jumped towards a window before realizing my wings were made of plastic as i plummet to the earth like icarus flying too close to the metaphorical sun

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morgana-ren · 2 months

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With Corvus, is it better for you, long term, to break and cry right away or to try and put on a brave face as long as you can? (Not defiance, just stiff-upper-lip kind of thing).

So, I am pretty biased in this regard, but I would say a carefully balanced mix of the two is probably best in the beginning.

If you're too defiant and bitchy before he's really gotten attached to you, he will not be abiding it. You know that bit of time when you are merely eye candy entertainment, and he doesn't quite have any fondness built up towards you? Struggle too much or become too much of a threat, and he will decide that the trouble isn't worth it. If you're constantly taking physical pot-shots at him (which won't work) or if you are consistently trying to kill him, you're running a red line. You really have to walk a razor's edge to keep him entertained and enamored in equal measure rather than frustrated if this is the case.

Now, this will usually only happen if he happens to take you by chance rather than watching and stalking you for a bit. You know, he gets drunk and finds you on the road and decides he could settle for a little bit of less-than-wholesome fun or something of that nature.

That isn't always the case, however. Typically, when Corvus takes people (these days anyway) it's after a lot of carefully done stalking and research where he has already grown fond of you-- although you will not know it. You will have a bit more leeway in this instance because he already knows your personality. If you happen to be abrasive and aggressive (like I am) and he chooses to take you anyway, he will fully be prepared for that.

However, he does also account for these things.

Your actions will, in a way, dictate his own. If you are bratty, defiant, and mean, he will react in due fashion. He will be a lot more likely to use physical force and intimidation to keep you in line. If you are kind, sweet, and demure, he will still be cruel, mind you-- but he won't be as likely to hurt you off the whip. He will be more manipulative and shitty about it. Either way, you cannot avoid the pain, and you will learn this quickly. It's a tightrope act.

Corvus likes clever, strong, and resourceful women-- but not in comparison to him. He wants you better than everyone else, but not better than him. He will be impressed if you manage to outfox him, but you will never know, and it will also infuriate him.

If you want to figure out how to get a leash on this asshole, you need to be a good manipulator-- and sometimes even that won't help you. Keep in mind, it's a game he plays very well. You'll need good judgement. 'Know when to hold them, and when to fold them' type shit. Sometimes a fight is worth picking-- or maybe he even wants you to pick it. Other times, you're going to get slapped down like Icarus flying too close to the goddamn asshole sun.

When it comes to being sweet and weak, he also does love and appreciate that. He does. But it's difficult to explain. If you're almost... callow, he doesn't enjoy that. He doesn't want a wilting flower, necessarily. He won't always enjoy someone who rolls over and shows belly and is pathetic all the time. He wants a sort of hidden steely strength hidden away in there. He wants a fire and not a smoldering ruin. Breaking you too quickly is boring and leaves nothing at all to be desired.

While he might tell you that's what he wants, he's kind of like a dog in that regard. He doesn't always necessarily know what he wants, and it really does differ day to day and situation to situation. You need to get good at reading him. Sometimes placating him is the best option. Sometimes it's being a bit of a brat. Other times, there's really no winning because he's just toying with you, and he's already decided what the outcome is.

He really is infuriating in that regard. Trust me, there's no way to fully win with him, even when he loves you. He always has to be the big top dog, the smarter one, the stronger one, the more clever one. If you're wise, you'll learn to play into these fantasies when necessary, and when to inflict psychic damage and challenge them subtly.

#morgana and friends #Corvus sucks #the bastard three (four)

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poisonouswritings · 2 years

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hiiii, can i request M3/M4 with an mc that has wings? totally up to you (ofc)

also!!!!! i hope you have/had fun on your trip!!!!!! you deserve the break<3

Hi friend!! Thank you :) At the time of writing this I have not gone on the trip yet but it'll probably be queued up for sometime while I'm gone so we'll assume I probably had fun

GN!Reader, Referencing A Dear Beloved Game, This seemed funnier if I put all of them together, Colored Bullets Rule (Felix, Anisa, Sage, Rime)

Okay do y'all remember Kid Icarus: Uprising? I won't go too into details but it was a really awesome game and I really really really hope they put it on Switch soon. But anyways my point is that the two main angel characters (Pit and Dark Pit/Pittoo respectively) do have wings but cannot fly without divine help. And even when they have help, they can only fly for short stretches at a time or else their wings will burn off.

Yeah we're gonna play by those rules :)

Okay okay okay I know I've talked about a hunter/prey dynamic with Sage before and I usually refer to it in a kink capacity but this time I mean it very literally!!! In the intro when you and Sage are in the hallway and he's looking you over, his pupils narrow a little and he is [ ] this close to reflexively pouncing because Birb. He manages to restrain himself but his flirting certainly has relevant undertones.

And on that same note, when Anisa has you on the desk?? There's a little bit of that too. Less so since she's only a half-ilephta but for a second there she is Thinking about it.

Okay so imagine that,, like at first when you're out with Felix you always have a cloak of some sort on. And then Rime warps you to the top of the tower and there's wind and your cloak kinda flies up and your wings start fluttering instinctively and Rime nearly does drop you because he Seriously Wasn't Expecting This. The only reason he doesn't is because he sees the fear on your face.

But if you can fly then imagine your cloak is still around you and you just shove him away so you can fall back off the roof and he's freaking out and about to jump after you (with the idea that he'll catch you and teleport you both to the ground) when you pull off your cloak and suddenly you're back in front of him, wings spread and the sun shining behind you like a holy light,,,, and I'm not gonna lie, at this stage Rime still hates you but he's also a little flustered.

Side note,, Felix,,,, remember when he first summoned you and he thought you were a demon? Yeah maybe you don't have angel wings maybe you have demon wings. Maybe he thinks you're an incubus/succubus/etc. I don't know. I think it's cute tho. And even if you do have the classic sorta wings his nickname for you would be 'angel' and that's pretty cute too

Felix and Anisa (and Rime) learn the spell to let you use your flight so now you can fly when you're with them! I don't think Sage can use magic. But! But my beloved Tulsi is an expert with magical weapons so I'm sure she can make you some kind of locket/magic artifact with the spell inside it so you can carry it around.

You guys have to clean up Fathom and you have to dust the ceilings

Imagine Sage and Rime get into a sight and you just dart over and slap them both on the back of the head and then shoot into the sky before they can catch you,,, Felix and Anisa are giggling while Rime and Sage are snapping at you,,,,

More importantly Rime and Sage having a rare alliance to bully Felix for being short (aka grabbing something and holding it over his head because that seems like the kind of thing both these idiots would find funny) and you just fly over and grab the item and hand it back to Felix like Here You Go Friend :) and then you give Sage and Rime the stink-eye

Sage gets stuck in a tree and you have to fly over to coax him back down. Bonus points if Tulsi is there too and when Sage tries to climb down he falls and face-plants and Tulsi just stares at him, while sipping some tea, and uses her foot to nudge his arm like 'yo are you dead' and you're just snickering because Oh I Thought Cats Always Landed On Their Feet and Sage is glaring at both of you.

Anisa helping you groom your wings,, making sure the down is cleared and the feathers are straight,,, she thinks they're so soft,,,,, really likes stroking them. Would totally sleep on them/wrapped in them if you let her. Maybe it makes her sneeze a little but she still loves doing it.

,,,Felix is taking notes and he needs a quill so you just reach back and pluck a feather and pass it over to him and,, 'Darling I'm not sure this will work. It doesn't exactly have the right type of nib...' 'Give it a chance.' 'Well, alright, but I just don't think it- holy shit it writes so smoothly' 'I know right?'

Rime's Halloween outfit was an angel,,, please consider he dresses like you and you dress like him. Couple outfit swap.

Side note Anisa calling you her angel,, her taking it as her 'holy duty' to protect you,,, soft,,,,

You and Sage are getting chased by a group of bandits that don't like Sage, and Sage tells you to run ahead so you don't get hurt,, you just fly over and kick them in the heads to drop them on their asses

*Ted Spankoffski voice* KICK MY HEAD

LoS tries to kill you and the M4 are freaking out and LoS like,,, makes the ground under your feet crumble away and lead directly to The Void (or hell idk) except you just float over the hole like :|

Stella is gonna pounce on you all the fucking time huh

Anisa buys you clothes and helps you cut/tailor them so your wings have room

Stella kills a bird and drops it on your bed. You wonder if you have to fear for your safety.

So I remember when Kid Icarus was popular a lot of people were kinda wondering if wings counted as erogenous zones,,,, do with that what you will

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alexenglish · 1 year

Text

ao3 wrapped (alexenglish edition)

stole this ask meme with the intent of using it as a writing retrospect! please enjoy if you enjoy.

fic round-up ♡ AO3 ♡ writing tag

How many words have you written this year? give or take 60-75k, i'm honestly not sure how many words i have between all my wip docs... my wip folder for my one published wip has three or so docs dedicated to graveyard and rewritten work. i'm suffering profoundly, but i am persevering - i think.

How many works did you publish this year? 5 individual ao3 works, and a short prompt collection with prompt ficlets from twitter.

did notice i feel limited while filling twitter prompts (character restriction, screenshotting, additional character restriction for alt text after screen shots bleh) - my fills are about half the word count of what i would usually do if i was on tumblr, so i think i will be bringing writing short prompts back to the good ol' askbox here.

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? without question, my favorite fic from this year is if you let me i might say too much (2min, t, 8.5k). i accidentally wrote a fic with such a lovely, strong sense of identity. some of my best setting and backgrounding work. just a tight little short story that i adore. i'm beyond happy with it and love the way readers love her as well!

What work of yours has the most hits? & let me kiss you (binsung, t, ch1/2 14.7k) ✊😔

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? probably & let me kiss you! really delighted that people are still leaving comments on it and hoping it'll continue (me too!) haven't gotten any demanding or pushy comments to continue it, just a lot of gentle appreciation, which i'm grateful for hehe

Favorite title you used the mouth of the sun (chanlix, e, 10.7k). i found this phrasing in my poetry tag (where i go when i don't have a song lyric to use). when i looked it up, the real poem might be 'the mountain of the sun' - though i didn't investigate very far past the first few search results. i shrugged my shoulders and thought: 'mouth' is better.

i love 'mouth of the sun' as a combination of a lot of things: felix as skz's sunshine, felix as chan's sun - sunshine, happiness, the dizzying center of his own universe & the toxic ways that manifests for them in the fic - the icarus metaphor i used in fic, this idea of flying too close to the sun & how chan uses it to illustrate how his desire is obvious to those around them and it burns him with how he willingly gets close to felix; the way he flew too close to the sun when he propositioned felix before the events of the fic and got rejected. then the icarus metaphor more largely in the truth and in vinos veritas themes of the fic: the mouth of the sun, literally felix's mouth, that can't stop speaking and chan flying too closely by asking felix to elaborate on his awful truths, burning himself over and over again because he's desperate to know more in the moment and after, during the scene where felix is sober.

If you use song lyrics, which artist's songs did you pull from the most? used lyrics from all different artists, but excited to announce the planned sequel to & let me kiss you also is a 1d lyric title, and the decided series name is, you guessed it, also a 1d lyric <3

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? binsung! my binsung! my best and favorite boys~

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? again, binsung

What work was the quickest to write? one plus one equals one (jilix, t, 2.1k) - this actually started as a twitter fic thread for their bdays, but i'm nothing if not a wordy bitch, but i knocked it out in like 4 hours which was great!

What work took you the longest to write? i started &lmky in... february 2022... maybe... and published chapter one in may, because i am a fool, and it's still not done so! excited to see if i can complete it before it turns a year old (may, NOT feb)

How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year? technically only two - &lmky and the sequel! my teeth and ambitions are not bared. keep expectations low and everything else is a nice surprise.

What's your longest work of the year? & let me kiss you, queen

What's your shortest work of the year? one plus one equals one

What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag? "canon compliant" (in the way that 'canon' is working knowledge of idol life and not in the 'this is definitely real' way, thanks)

Your favorite character to write this year? jisung is super fun and easy for me in a lot of ways and his ships are my faves, but i really loved writing chan for the mouth of the sun, there's something so diabolical about getting to write an overly sympathetic unreliable narrator who is actually the cause of Problems. most readers will not see that at all (and they did not), but writing him was [chef's kiss]

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? my povs were very easy, but minho in &lmky is the most unwieldy motherfucker. he's not in chapter 1, but all my chapter 2 angst stems directly from the fact that he and jisung have the most whack conversations that i have to redact and rewrite because they're serving NO purpose. can't wait to get him laid in the sequel, maybe he'll calm down.

What's one pairing you want to explore next year? hyunho is the ship for the famed &lmky sequel, and it's gunna be so fucking glorious. i might be looking forward to it more than i am looking forward to finishing &lmky (mostly because i'm at the point with &lmky that's like DEAR GOD WHEN WILL I BE INSPIRED versus the hyunho barely exists so i'm floating on my back in the glittering pool of imagination about it)

Which work of yours have you reread the most? if you let me i might say too much, she really is my beloved!

How many kudos in total did you get this year? 961, and i'm eating them ALL. i am warm and well fed! 🥰🥰🥰

Which work has the most comments? proud of myself for remembering to check the comment thread stat and not just look at the total number and divide by two: & let me kiss you

Did you do any collaborative works this year? @clarz and I co-wrote a beautiful and wonderful secret gift for @sodapopblues and it was easily the most fun i had writing all year!

Did you write any gifts this year? this is probably the first year i didn't gift a fic to someone on ao3 wow! did previously mentioned collab with clara for erin, and did record my very first podfic for clara for her birthday, i love u clara mwah

Did you receive any gifts this year? my lovely excellent and highly talented friend @unseelie-siren/ @pxssnelke was SICK and did a pod of & let me kiss you and completely surprised me, AND wrote two banger fics for me: i just make it easy (minbin, e, 3k) and big things come in small packages (changjun, t, 2.6k). i hope my muse is up to task this year so i can give a little back to fae for faer's kindness 😘

What's your most common category? M/M

What do you listen to while writing? Study Music Alpha Waves: Relaxing Studying Music, Brain Power, Focus Concentration Music, ☯161

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? hands down, the studio kiss scene at the end of the first chapter of & let me kiss you. the tension. that changbin. it's crazymaking. i'm obsessed with that changbin above all else.

Biggest surprise while writing this year? writing chanlix! despite being my first skz ship, i'm largely neutral on their dynamic - and then disparaging of the way it tends to manifest in fic - so it's moved out of even my top 10 skz ships. my personal meta about them has always been trying to dig into the stuff i feel is deeply out of sync in their dynamic, which is what compels me but never really enough, until felix basically tackled chan and gave him a footrub and then immediately abandoned him when changbin interrupted, and THEN i saw a bunch of weird and whack discourse about how felix doesn't top chan (HA! HA!), that i was like ah i simply must write a subversive fic within a trope i've been eager to write for awhile (sex pollen is among my good friend quinn @fleetwooded's favorite tropes! i wanted to take a swing at it). at first it was only going to be a love triangle, maybe with a hopeful ending, but as soon as it started i realized there was a thread of bad feelings i had to follow through to the end and i'm very happy i did.

THE END! feel free to steal this idea, since i stole it, and if you steal it and do a little retrospect yourself, feel free to send it to me/ tag me! love everyone's writing thoughts mwah!

#alexnotes

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whatthefuckisupwiththat · 1 year

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Hello, hope you're having a good day

I love reading your songs' analysis but I don't get very well your analysis of The great war. What made you think this is the break up song ? Like what lyrics? I think I agree with your pov but I need more details to make my mind

Okay, so, have you listened to hits different? Do you know about the girl who lives in delusion?

The great war is kind of like this for me. First, the great war means the FIRST world war. In the context of this relationship, this is the FIRST war they had to fight. In my opinion, it is about kissgate and how she went on twitter to deny kaylor which was the betrayal that she dealt to karlie.

Let me back up, taylor has repeatedly referred to true love as golden. This is how she views her relationship with Joe, because it's not burning red. The way taylor describes falling in love is "flying towards the sun" and so when a relationship goes bad, you've flown TOO close to the sun. You're so blinded by the light that you keep flying towards it even as your feathers are melting off, Icarus.

She says in the bridge that this love was "burned for the better" which we know is incompatible with how she views true love, aka for her that's joe. Burned here implies this is an unhealthy relationship but the war imagery should tip you off to that before you get to the bridge.

So back to the song, she has started the song off with imagery of fighting and the use of the pronoun "her," and remember this is a song off an album where the theme is literally "if one thing had been different, would everything be different today?" So the song starts off with taylor thinking back to how her knuckles were bruised like violets from fighting this war.

Violet is queer coded specifically for sapphics with a whole history there, as well. So, there is another queer flower being used as imagery here.

"Cursed you as I sleep-talked, spineless in my tomb of silence" this is clearly about kissgate to me. She is having nightmares of where it all went wrong and she is tracing it back to kissgate in 2014 (?)

Crimson clover is another gay floral reference, crimson & clover is a song about sapphic love for example. Anyways, sweet dream was over gives me gold rush vibes and I have nothing else to say about it other than this.

Once we get to the chorus, we have already changed history. "Tears on the letter" brings me to closure, where the reality is karlie apologizing to her (maybe?) And taylor resenting that letter because she remembers how it used to be, how it could have been. But in the song, I think she is saying she wrote a letter crying and vowing not to fight anymore if they could survive kissgate.

I think in reality, this actually happened (karlie sobbing with her head in her hands) but taylor said something to push her away and this started the beginning of the end of their relationship.

So, the second verse I can only interpret as Karlie telling her to trust her more (maybe taylor accused her of wanting them to be caught? This is speculation but im giving an ex so u can see my train of thought of what I think the verse represents) but here is like present taylor speaking through past taylor saying "diesel is desire, you were playing with FIRE" so here is the burning imagery again. You can write a whole thesis on this line and the beautiful metaphor it is for unhealthy relationships but I'll just say here that she is saying that the desire between the two women burned up them inside until there was nothing left of what they had.

"The bombs were close" is a reference to the phone call drama that I think signals the end of their relationship for real because Karlie lost interest in her as her reputation tanked and also the way she was treating Karlie was probably not okay because she was valuing fame over the two of them.

And here she is saying "my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the great war" because karlie wanted them to go public but she was too afraid to live her truth. "Always remember the burning embers" is also another hint that she's talking about a past relationship due to that burning red metaphor she likes to use for break up songs.

Then we get into the bridge which solidifies it for me because "it turned into something bigger" feels so my tears ricochet to me. We know Taylor was betrayed by Karlie somehow in the masters situation and she is literally saying that their relationship war turned into "something bigger" because kissgate was the catalyst for karlie betraying her and causing her to lose her masters in the way that she did. "Even on my worst day, did I deserve babe all the hell you gave me" hell is depicted as a burning inferno and "raining hellfire" is what this line references to me.

Somewhere in the haze = the lavender haze

Got a sense I'd been betrayed = masters situation

Your finger on my HAIRPIN trigger = right where you left me, you won't let me come out because of our history, you had to kill me but it killed you just the same because she is queerifying pin triggers, which is a gun term that modifies it to SHOOT FASTER. The brilliance here is *chefskiss*

But remember, we're still in the time period of kissgate so this is where I make the connection to hits different bridge and outro because it feels like a complete shift in tone where Taylor does decide to trust karlie after kissgate but karlie is now falling out of love with her because karlie looked up at her with "honor and truth" during kissgate and so she called off the troops because she was the one hurting Karlie in the kissgate situation and vowed to find a way to leave her record label maybe?

She called off the troops, which I think is her record label, and I think this means she was trying to find a way to leave them for the 2 of them to go public. But we also know that karlie cheated on her during their relationship because of the way she talks about the emotions behind August.

And the most devastating part of this entire song is "that was the night I thought I lost you, I really thought I lost you" for me because it is the thing she is changing about this entire situation. This WAS the night she lost her because in reality, there was 2 great wars in history.

The Great War foreshadows the coming of a second war in the context of this relationship because people really celebrated the end of the war like it was the last bloodshed they'd see on that scale again. This is why I think it's like hits different because it wouldn't make sense for her to be saying "there is no second great war" with the context of the great war not being a break up song.

Like, in order for this to be a happy song, you would have to ignore the historical context that she is referring to specifically by using the name "the great war." And this is why ultimately to me, this is a break up song because this song is about the feeling of believing you've won before walking straight into a checkmate trap.

Then she used funeral imagery here much like she used it in so it goes for the bridge in that song too. She says "we can plant a memory garden" why would they need to plant a memory garden of they are still together.

A memory garden implies remembering someone who died at war, and then the "place a poppy in my hair" and "there's no morning glory" "it was war, it wasn't fair" these all feel like the aftermath of kissgate on their relationship.

Like yeah, they "won" the battle of kissgate but their relationship was altered by the events of this so greatly it caused a greater, bloodier war.

Again, you cannot divorce the historical context she is using in this song from your analysis and the context is "people thought ww1 was the great war because they couldn't foresee how their actions caused a CHAIN REACTION that led to the second world war" like that is the context.

The singer here, taylor, couldn't see how her actions started a domino effect that would cause Karlie to betray her during the masters situation, leading to their metaphorical death as a couple.

They survived the great war and she vowed she'd always be Karlie's but we know that's not true and that's why it's a break up song, anon.

I love you, thank you so much for this.

#ask and you shall receive #anon love #taylor swift #gaylor #kaylor #midnights #the great war

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

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For a fairytale au (like little mermaid, red riding hood, sleeping beauty, etc)which fairytale would each member of the RFA and Minor Trio (if too much, then just the twins and Vanderwood) be? I imagine Zen in Beauty and the Beast, just that he's Belle in that case-

Great question!

Zen tells us who he identifies with. He sees himself as Cinderella who comes into her own after finding her dream of escaping her household. She gets the prince and the castle, but what she really wanted was a place to be loved and seen for who she is. That’s what Zen gets when he loves you. A chance to be seen.

Yoosung feels like he might find some community in Red Riding Hood. That’s a cautionary story of who you trust, after all. Don’t trust a wolf in sheep’s clothing, that’s bound to leave you dead. On his way to help MC, he encounters danger that could threaten everyone he loves, so he decides to face it himself without realizing how bad it could get. He comes out of his battle with Unknown with a reminder to trust his gut, and never once someone who makes a shady deal. His heart is strong but he needs to use his head.

Jaehee reminds me of a The Unsmiling Princess. That’s a story where a princess has never once smiled and only the person who he make her smile will be able to take her hand in marriage... and you know what? The person who is able to make her smile is someone who is clumsy but kind, and that reminds me of the MC who believes in Jaehee and brings out her laughter that’s long been lost to time for decades at this point. Her smile is genuine when she knows she wants to spend her life with MC.

I feel like Jumin and Sleeping Beauty correlate. You know, a sea of tangled briars and red threads of fate? Jumin is a beauty with a heart of gold, but most people might not look at that. They look at his status and his power rather than who he truly is. The person who sees him for more than the son of Chairman Han is his true love that can kiss him awake from a world of nightmares that’ve haunted him more than he can admit.

I’ve seen Saeyoung as the Little Mermaid. A fish out of water who dreams of a world beyond his fingertips. Technology was his hook that drew him into the big, wide world, and similar to Ariel, this interest is what leads him to his MC. He’s able to find you through the app he created and saves your life from a threat in this world that’s beyond his reasoning. He made a deal with Rika long ago and that gives itself to the contract that Ariel takes to get legs.

Saeran tends to get the Rapunzel treatment but it makes sense. He was taken away from his family and led into a tower that wouldn’t let him escape by design. He meets the MC who shows him that the world isn’t ugly nor is it a scary place to be, and he learns how to leave the tower and face the things that seemed so scary before by knowing that someone will always be next to him if he ever has a moment of hesitation in the midst of his excited curiosity.

V is Icarus. Icarus is V. They fly too close to the sun when the cautionary tale is to always stay low enough that you can save yourself from the raging waters to survive. The sun is beautiful but it will melt your wings if you get too close. That’s a lesson V never seems to learn until it’s too late... unless we count his route as he’s able to get help from it there.

Rika would feel in touch with the Snow Queen and I don’t mean Elsa and Anna. I mean the original which is a balance of good and evil coming together in a battle of wits and hearts. Rika feels strongly lost between the throes of good and evil in her life because of her deep religious trauma. She would wish that someone would save her but none did, she had to face her abusers herself as a teenager, and she would see herself lost between the two main characters as her senses feel warped by what she sees and what remains unseen.

Vanderwood is probably the hardest one to pick. I’m not sure what way to lean in this situation other than giving him Beauty and the Beast. I think Vanderwood is someone who feels like a monster in many ways, but that’s only because of the things the agency has done over the years to make Vanderwood lose a sense of humanity. If an MC came into the picture and offered kindness in the face of a man who thinks there’s nothing but dread leftover after surviving decades of Hell, well, they might be a true beauty.

#ask #anon #mod kait #fairytale au

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my-jokes-are-my-armour

My jokes are my armour

mydissatisfiedmind

My Dissatisfied Mind

langsungcepatkerja

Untitled

mahoushi-cos

魔法士COS