Snape haters: How do people even like Snape?
Also Snape:
“Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.”
*****
“Would you like me to do it now?” asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. “Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”
*****
“I was just showing Harry my grindylow,” said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank.
“Fascinating,” said Snape, without looking at it.
*****
As Harry raised himself into a sitting position, his head still swimming from its last contact with the ground, he saw Snape running as hard as he could, the enormous beast [Buckbeak] flapping behind him and screeching as Harry had never heard him screech —
. . . Snape had managed to Disapparate just beyond the school’s boundaries.
*****
Snape gave her [Umbridge] an ironic bow and turned to leave.
*****
“The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter — or at least, most minds are.” He smirked.
*****
“Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork, and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job.”
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“and his face was suddenly demented, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog stuck in the burning house behind them,”
rereading the books for the snape scenes
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Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend
Hepburn and Monroe? No, Parkinson and Malfoy.
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Harry: I ain't talkin
Voldemort: *Taking out wand* We got ways of making people talk
Voldemort: *Summons a cake*
Harry: Can I have some
Voldemort: Cake is for talkers
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(Percy, Oliver, Penny and Marcus sneaking around at night in their fourth year)
Percy: Alright, I go first. Oliver, you stay behind me. And stay tight.
Marcus: ...Bow chicka bow wow.
Oliver:
Penny:
Percy: Never mind. Marcus goes in front.
Marcus: Eh, it was worth it.
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Proud supporter of the head canon that Oliver Quidditch-for-brains Wood noticed the recurring pattern that many of the best players he’d ever seen were gay and decided that, post-retirement (or hell even as a side project), he would pursue a Potions and Charms Double Mastery to fix their fertility problem.
Because he saw Harry James Potter, the best Seeker in a century, absolutely obsessed with Draco Lucius Malfoy, a damn good Seeker and an even better Chaser, and wow all those fantastic Quidditch genes are just not even getting passed on. How absolutely unforgivable. That has to stop, and it has to stop now.
Anyways “Oliver Accidentally Gay Wizarding Pioneer and Icon Wood” that single-handedly fixed the massive fertility problem for all wixen just so his favorite gay Quidditch players could make Quidditch prodigy babies.
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...and more Draco Malfoy at the Ministry of Magic DMLE
Hermione version
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