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#id rather not bring attention to it tbh
mrcifci · 3 months ago
Sharify makes it super simple to rediscover your city’s social side
The pandemic has upended many aspects of urban life but perhaps the most visible upheaval is to citydwellers’ social lives, with curfews calling time on traditional night life across much of the Western world and social distancing putting a chilly spin on opportunities for getting together with people outside your usual circle. Who knew leaving the house was going to seem like such a mission?
Opportunities to escape the city entirely — such as by jetting off somewhere — remain severely limited or even impossible right now, depending on where you live. And for many urbanites COVID-19 may feel as if it’s turned the advantages of city living on its head, despite lockdowns generally not being as hard-line as they were at times last year and vaccines now (slowly) being rolled out.
Sharify is a startup that reckons it can help with the weird flatness of pandemic city living. It’s a real-time events app (iOS and Android) that wants to bring back a little of the serendipitous joy of urban living by making it easier to discovery things going on around you — maybe even just a few blocks away. To do this it’s combined real-time event listings with a map view (via the medium of emoji-style icons plus filters) to quickly and cheerfully surround you with stuff that’s happening in the vicinity.
Work trips are making a $5 billion comeback
Though the business idea predates COVID-19, Sharify isn’t blind to the changes wrought by the pandemic. And the app displays a star icon next to events that are deemed COVID-19 ‘safe’ — a subtle promotion meaning the organizer has measures in place to reduce the risk of contagion, such as controlling venue capacity, providing disinfectant hand gel and ensuring tables/seating are safety spaced. (Which may well be legal requirements for a venue to be open for business, of course.)
At the same time, the app lets users share their own meeting plan with other users — potentially encouraging a bunch of strangers to meet up to play some music or hang out in the park or whatnot — so its appropriateness for the pandemic moment in which we find ourselves does depend on how you use it.
It’s open to social swings or roundabouts, you could say. (And limits on when/how clubs and bars can open may well be pushing a socially oriented and app-savvy demographic toward alternative ways (and tools) to mingle with strangers.)
More broadly, Sharify invites users to rethink the concept of travel and trips — asking them to refocus their attention and energy on discovering entertaining things to do without having to go far or plan far ahead. Because, well, what else can anyone really do right now?
The app does have two ‘view’ modes: One for events geared towards locals and/or a dedicated ‘tourist’ view to cater to those wanting to do more typical sightseeing — though content for the latter is obviously thinner on the ground at the moment. (And, well, ‘tourism’ as a concept is starting to feel like rather quaint and old-fashioned vs properly exploring your own backyard.)
Officially Sharify is launched in Barcelona, Madrid and New York City — but says it’s “expanding quickly” and touts being “present” in 25+ cities around the world (presumably with a lighter events cadence vs those three).
I tested the app in Barcelona and quickly found a bunch of local events that looked interesting — at least compared to another night of thumbing through the Netflix catalogue — from a Banksy art exhibition, to a stand up comedy show (in English!), lots of theatre, a bunch of markets, yoga classes and a skateboarding event all going on within, at most, a couple of miles and days from where I’ve been spending the vast majority of my time for, like, almost a whole entire year.
Just the act of seeing stuff still going on in a city which, frankly, hasn’t felt very familiar or open for much of anything for close to 12 months was a bit of an eye opener.
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After so much time locked down indoors maybe we all need a bit of a nudge/visual reminder that life is still going on — and socializing is still possible (with appropriate safety measures and distancing) — beyond the front door and away from the Zoom screen (or any other screen tbh). Even if I’m not about to sign up for everything I spotted in the app. But feeling like I could is almost exciting enough.
As well as providing key details about each event (when, where, any website etc), Sharify lets you signal an intent to go to other users by ‘joining’. It also hosts a per event chat where those who have joined are invited to “talk to people who join the plan” — which is another neat little nudge to get people excited about going to a local thing, maybe without their usual friend group in tow.
Sharify isn’t disclosing how many users it has but it says it has 100,000+ monthly event views (3K+ daily), and 5,000+ events every month. (On Google Play the app has had 10,000+ installs.)
Where users create their own plans to advertise to others it touts an impressively high “join” rate of 95%. (Albeit saying you’re going to something you found via an app isn’t the same as actually turning up.)
To encourage users to discover and attend others’ events, Sharify displays a smilie face on the map in locations where several people are up for ‘sharing plans’ — listing the number of people theoretically up for joining in stuff around there and nudging you to ‘create a plan in this area’ to tap into that potential guest pool.
It also lets you drill down to check out micro profiles of these (public) socially interested locals — displaying a first name, perhaps a photo and any ‘interests’ if they’ve chosen to select some from its curated lists of culture, hobbies, sports and social activities etc. (Happily there’s no option to message individual users via their profile so no fear of stupid in-app spam.)
Location-based and social sharing is not new, of course. Indeed, it’s an idea that’s been around the tech block so many times the sound of a ‘real-time events map’ probably triggers a fuzzy feeling of ‘haven’t I seen this before somewhere?’ The deja vu may be real but context is ever shifting, is the point. Or, to put it another way, here and now, in an open-ended pandemic, going about finding something to do probably looks and feels quite a bit different to how you did it, pre-March 2020.
Put simply: Best laid plans are toast. Friends who don’t live in the same city are reachable only on Zoom or by text. And at very least you’re dealing with hard limits on how far you can range for your entertainment in time and space.
Local and/or virtual is the new global, all of a sudden. So Sharify reckons its real-time events map is just the ticket/tonic in this curtailed context — by cheerfully surrounding you with nearby stuff to do. The 2017-founded startup says it’s been growing “despite” the pandemic.
“We’re stuck at home, and we saw all the Netflix series. Is there any plan near my home for this afternoon? Event agendas simply don’t work in this user case. That’s why we built a real-time map,” says co-founder and CEO Gemma Prenafeta. “And the problem we will face in some months from now: I’m not stuck at home anymore. Where do I find new events easily?”
“As Sharify is a collaborative platform, we let people share their own events for free, we scrape different event sources such as Google and Tiqets, and we highlight those businesses that want to promote themselves,” she adds, giving a succinct explainer on how the app populates the map view with stuff to do.
Social maps aren’t new, of course — and features like Snap Map, which was added to Snap’s social network via its acquisition of Zenly, certainly has a bit of overlap (while Sharify’s smiley octopus logo on a yellow background has more than a little of Snap’s ghost in look and feel), though Snap Map is more obviously focused on friends’ location and social sharing vs Sharify being about event discovery, first and foremost. Friends may follow this real-life socializing, is the suggestion.
There are also event discovery network startups (like calendar-focused IRL). But, again, with such a glance-friendly map view, Sharify is paying closer attention to immediacy/hyper-local event discovery vs IRL — which pivoted to helping people surface virtual events as the pandemic shuttered lots of real world events last year and has since focused on building out its own social network.
Now with over 10M monthly users, IRL turns its events website into a social network
“The ‘immediacy’ factor is key at Sharify, as you can see what’s happening, in real-time,” says Prenafeta. “We say going to a local event is a kind of ‘Local Trip’. Traveling before was about taking flights, now it’s about taking a Bird or a eCooltra to an event nearby.”
Whether mapping real-time events is a standalone business or a feature/tool that could just be added to a dominant platform/social network is perhaps a more pressing question for this fledgling startup. And it’s notable that tech (and mapping) giant Google added a ‘Community Feed’ to Maps late last year.
Facebook has also had an ‘Events Near Me‘ feature on its platform for years. Albeit, anything listed inside its walled garden has to contend with all the baggage Facebook brings with it. So an indie app with a fresh approach should have a chance to attract users who wouldn’t be caught dead on Facebook (even in a pandemic).
Sharify has certainly come up with a really effortless way to spark a sense of possibility — to feel like you can cut through the monotony of lockdown life — just by firing up a super simple overview of stuff going on around you.
It then layers on with some more powerful tools that might help you find others to do stuff with, which adds a subtle but deeper hook in these socially distanced times.
“Life is still pretty locked down, and that’s why it’s more important than ever to know what’s open and what isn’t, close to our house,” suggests Prenafeta. And, well, it’s pretty hard to argue with that.
She’s looking beyond the pandemic too — back to more normality and anticipating helping local businesses announce their reopenings, once that’s possible. The team is “currently working on a seed investment round to prepare for the post-pandemic momentum”, she says.
So far the Barcelona-based startup has raised a pre-seed and an angel round led by IESE Group, per Prenafeta — with a total of €501,000 (~$600k) invested to date into what has turned out to be a contextually fresh twist on the old SoMoLo trend.
Google Maps takes on Facebook with launch of its own news feed
Zenly proves that location sharing isn’t dead
from TechCrunch via IFTTT
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sauza · 5 months ago
Idk why it took me a bit to warm up to him, but ive been really liking Aki recently(especially with the last couple of chaps I read🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃, im around chap 80 for context so yk).
So now I've just been thinking about him with an aloof reader who is unconsciously teasing him in public (accidentally brushing up against him, bending over with a skirt too short, etc) and hes just being so patient with you (he deals with power and denji, id imagine hed have a decent amount of it lol) but once you get home, he looses his composure and just destroys you i mean tbh id probs be doing it on purpose but thats just me
Also off topic from the ask but the art style is like really good ??!!??? Ive always been a fan of gorey art but csm has that + more. The devils and covers just bring so much serotonin, I was in love with the santa claus design -🔪
I can definitely see what you mean, I was a bit meh about him at first because he is a rather collected and calm character, but he really grew on me, too! You’re so close to catching up oh em geee I’m excited-
I really love the art style too!! It definitely has its own funky touch, the mangaka has two other series... I forget the one, but the other is Fire Punch if you’re interested. I haven’t read it myself as of yet. But personally, my favorite design is the Ghost Devil’s. The one with the woman’s head and a bunch of hands and flowers? I believe it had a contract with Himeno, the woman who got hella drunk and was close to Aki.
Okay, but imagine Aki and a clingy little devil? You always follow him everywhere and you love going places with him, he shows you around the city and lets you try new things... it’s like an alien setting foot on earth for the first time. You’re obsessed with Aki, he is just so handsome and kind to you! You’d do anything for him...
But you’re also incredibly silly and naive, you don’t realize that when you bend over, the pretty dress he had bought you, as a gift for becoming a devil hunter, is too short to cover that cute panties you have on. And when you both get stuck on crowded transportation, your plush ass brushes against his crotch over and over and over. You’re torturing him!
The worst is when he takes you out to eat, you’re always excited to try something new, and naturally he orders his dish larger knowing you will pick at it curiously. You always ask him to feed you, too scared to touch the weird green things on his plate, or the slimy worm looking things. He’ll hold one of the broccoli’s to your lips, expecting you to just bite it... but no! You lick it curiously, and take his fingers in your mouth, and he can’t even pull away because of your meek grab on his wrist.
You’re so needy for attention, so clingy, so oblivious to how you affect him. But he could never be mad at you, not when you’re such a sweet little devil who is touch starved and desperate to understand affection and liking someone.
That’s why he has to teach you, with two fingers stuffed in your mouth and his cock buried in your twitching little hole, you finally understand why humans enjoy being close to someone. It makes your tummy feel warm, and butterflies fill your chest, and hearts grow in your pupils. You feel so sick but in a good way.
“A-Aki~” You whimper, choking on his fingers whilst they rub and pinch your pink tongue, “I-It feels l-like... it feels funny Aki, l-like I’m gonna... gonna pee-” You twitch when his fingers pull from your mouth and he presses your knees to your chest. He doesn’t listen to your protests, to your worried words about being dirty and making a mess all over yourself. He wants to see it, to feel you cream all over his cock and yourself.
Your climax is sudden, intense, and it has you screaming into his shoulder, unconsciously biting the tender skin and breaking the flesh. Aki doesn’t flinch too busy chasing his own high to care that your gripping at his body and crying, begging him to stop because it’s too much! Too bad, you spent all day teasing him... this is what naughty whores deserve.
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dredreadsdrawing · 6 months ago
Oc-tober Days 17-19: The Characters
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Oc-tober: Hobbies with the Bounty Hunters
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Talent with the Main Trio
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Power with the Anarchists
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OC Explanation: This story has ALOT of characters and story beats, but for the sake of sticking to Oc-Tober and making my life less painful lol, Im focusing on only these three groups and who they are. Tbh I already got halfway through the entire story they’re from but.... Im soooooooo exhausted?? Id much rather just do blurbs focusing on the characters and who they are as people than on the plot plz. So here:
In a magical world where young girls get transported to live happily as whatever they want to be, troubles begin to bubble.
The main trio are a Tsarina, a Ballerina and a Fishergirl. 
The Tsarina is quick to take on responsibilities, enjoys being in charge, and has a motherly attitude. Though she usually has too much on her plate, she always manages to work things out, and it’s led to her being a bit too confident that things will work in her favor. She’s been mighty lucky after all. Still, she’s a hardworker, and loves doting on Ballerina and Fisher by fussing over them when they’re hurt and buying them trinkets or treats whenever they stop at a merchant’s store. Ballerina gets embarrassed by this and waves her off, Fisher doesn’t mind.
The Ballerina doesn’t mind helping Tsarina or others when they need it, but unlike both her teammates, she’s not as quick to jump into it. She’s, to put it bluntly, more selfish and self-serving. She has a headstrong personality, she enjoys being the center of attention, and she’s quick to hold a grudge when people treat her wrong. She started out joining the quest just to get out of a Manor full of crybabies, but the more time she spent with Tsarina and Fisher the closer she grew. By the time they’re on their third adventure, she realized she can’t just leave them like she originally planned. They’re nice to her.; Tsarina always validates her and Fisher takes her side in everything. They’re friends. She begrudgingly stays and sees things through.
The Fishergirl is the youngest and smallest. She’s quick and clever, but trusting and eager to please. She’s like Tsarina, she loves helping others, but she prefers taking orders. She can’t really think for herself.... yet. She gets babied a lot by Tsarina and even Ballerina. They always treat her first, and block her from any big damage or danger. Along the way, Fisher will learn to form her own opinions, and trust her own gut. 
The Bounty Hunters consist of the Bounty Boss, Second Hand (pointy hat) and Right Hand (Big braids). 
Before Bounty Boss came to be boss, Second Hand was in charge. She hated it. She was good at what she did, but she’s lazy as heck. Right Hand watched as Second Hand squirmed under the weight of responsibilities, laughing to herself. She would tease Second Hand but never help. She found it too amusing. Then the hot-headed Boss came in with a batch of newbies, and she challenged Second Hand to a duel for the position. Naturally, Second Hand made herself lose. Bounty Boss beamed at her new title. Right Hand found her adorable. Over time, she learned the ropes, and to Second Hand’s surprise, became an actually good boss. With the help of Right Hand’s patient assistance and Second Hand’s already big reputation, Boss became respected and renown. She was effective at hunting people down.... too effective. The cases got slimmer and the adventures are fizzling out. Bounty Boss is getting restless to get back into action!
The Anarchists should actually include more girls but uh, I’m focusing on these two cuz they’re my main. 
In this world that is meant to bring every girl’s fantasy into reality, there is a single Bride. A Bride... with no groom. What an oversight on whoever is in charge. Ever since she was brought in, she’s sent letter after letter of complaint. But the Capital never sends her the responses she wants. No answer as to why she’s here, no way to get her the groom she wants, and always told at the end of each reply, to just live life as best she can. The Bride is done playing nice. If she can’t get what she wants because of the system, she is going to BREAK IT. 
And the first to join her cause is... surprisingly, the Mailman. 
The Mailman loves her job. She loves meeting all the people in her route, hearing about what’s going on between them, seeing the joy she can bring with a package. It’s a mundane job, but it’s one she loves. Then came the Bride. She always dreaded bringing her her letters from the Capital. They only ever frustrated the Bride more. When the Bride opened up on what they were about (over tea, she was very courteous to the Mailman and always served her a drink afterwards. The Mailman is flattered), the Mailman fully realized that... her situation truly is unfair. The Mailman loves her job, and she’s seen so many others like her that enjoy their life here but, if there’s people like the Bride who can’t have what they want... there needs to be a change. The Mailman of course agrees to join. She leaves behind her job, and becomes the co-conspirator of the Anarchist movement. And the more they do and the more they fight others, they closer these two will get. The Mailman is the first to realize how deep her loyalty will go. But ultimately, she knows how this should all end. 
The Bride is looking for a groom.  
I can’t really explain the world very well lol. All I can say is, girls pop in as batches, and they already come with a theme/dream decided. They pursue that theme/dream and, in theory, live happily and harmoniously. In theory. But just as the main trio pop into existence, disappearances occur, and the Anarchist movement starts building up notoriety. The stale ways that things have been are going to have to change. 
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angelxnaa · 8 months ago
💛 I hope I get this sent in time tbh 😂. I'm a trans guy, I have a male preference, id rather it be from Lightning era, I'm really sweet and cuddly. I like getting attention, I pretend I don't, and my S/O's attention, but I'm not pushy if im not the only person getting attention because I understand life is tricky. I like reading but I barley do it. i like food, and my weight kinda shows that since im pretty chubby. I laugh a lot and smile a lot, and I love hugs. Oh, and im Hufflepuff.
you got this sent in time hehe
i ship you with...
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- your sweet and bubbly nature is initially what drew him to you.
- your smile and laugh were absolutely captivating to him. He adored the sight and the sound more than anything
- he loved giving you attention.
- seriously, he loved how happy it made you and all he wanted to do was make you happy
- but of course, his twin is his best buddy. He likes that he can split his time with both of you without either having hard feelings
- and let’s not pretend that Fred wouldn’t adore you too. He’d like that his brother has found someone that makes him happy
- no matter who they are
- whenever you’re feeling down, George would sneak down to the kitchens and steal you some food
- bringing it up for you with a huge contagious grin
- defo dates in Hogsmeade, going to Honeydukes and the Three Broomsticks
- though you like to read, most of the time you forget because you’re so preoccupied with a certain someone
- even pranking with him sometimes
- when he’s working on new inventions, tha ta usually when you get time to read - unless you’re helping him
- everytime you see him, you hug him. Everytime you say goodbye it goodnight, you hug him
- sitting at dinner? hug him. and when he hugs you first? you just about m e l t.
- you’re always laughing together. Literally. there’s nothing you two love doing more. When people see you, there’s always a smile on your faces.
- laughter is the key ;)
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adashelbysgirlfriend · 10 months ago
Falling in love - Michael Gray
weirdly enough i was going through a Michael phase when i got this request so thank you @midwinternightz for making my dreams come true
this isn't a song fic, but if it was, id tag Sweet Creature by Harry Styles because i can imagine Michael being a massive HS stan js - this is your song 
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 Oh god where to begin
i get the feeling that Michael isn't one to make the first move
hes confident but also a bit like cocky? like too arrogant to ask someone out 
you start working at the garrison to make a bit of money and Arthur isn't sure about having a young girl behind the bar at first but you're such a hit
everyone just loves you, especially Jonny dogs 
he loves you a bit TOO much 
but you can hold your own and aren't afraid to break up a fight or two
seeing the peaky boys daily, you're working at their watering hole after all
you catch Michaels eye but he's just too gosh darn cool to admit it 
Hes probably the one you speak to least, i feel like all the other peaky juniors are much more talkative 
but boy does he LOVE drinking so you slowly but surely begin to get more comfortable with him
you're the chatty one
i feel like he just sits and listens to you most of the time 
you're not even sure if he's listening tbh 
but he starts to stay later, you notice he's still there at close, sitting at the bar nursing the rest of his whisky 
and he will listen to you talk about the day
or what youre gonna do with your day off
or just listen in on you and Harry chatting about Arthur 
he's surprised by how much he likes your voice
he offers to walk you home one night and this starts to become a regular thing
Arthur was usually the one to walk you home, but when he couldn't make it for whatever reason he would call Finn up to do it 
because he kinda wanted to see you too together
hes considerably pissed off when he sees Michael waiting for you outside instead of his brother 
“what’re you doing’ ere”
“im making sure Y/N gets home okay, like you do every night”
“exactly so bugger off!”
he lets you leave with him but only because Arthur has a masterplan in mind for getting you and Finn married
he tries to get Polly and Ada involved 
“so you want me to stop my son from seeing his female friend because...?”
“’cause he's getting in the way”
“ah right, and why is that?”
“’cause i like her with Finn better”
hes ADMINT and he won't rest until he's got you on his arm and he's walking you down the aisle to Finn
nobody quite understands why Arthur is so invested in you and Finn being an item, and god bless him he's not gonna get his way
everyone else thinks you and Michael have a good ying and Yang thing going on
but not Arthur
and he will continue to try and convince them all of this 
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you're goods friends by this point 
Michael has a angsty side that only you take seriously 
you don't make him feel like his problems are mundane like the rest of his family 
he comes to you over Polly and she knows this 
she's probably a bit jealous, she's its got her son back after all 
and now he'd rather speak to some barmaid over his own blood?
but Polly likes you a lot, and so she doesn't make your life hell like should would any other girl she felt was taking what was hers
Michael is a serious guy, but you bring out the fun side of him 
which makes his presence more bearable for everyone involved
Michael only realises he's actually interested in you when he starts to notice  all the male attention you get and how much it bothers him
you're a pretty girl, and everyone knows the way to these mens hearts is through cheap beer or Scottish whisky 
naturally, you're the apple of most garrison goers eyes
jealous michael is a grumpy michael 
Polly rolling her eyes at this behaviour 
“if you want her you have to tell her, Michael, she's not a mind reader” 
he can't lie though, he's a little bit worried you don't see him that way
you've been friends for a good while by this point and he's worried he's too stuck in the friendzone to ever get back out of it 
so he tries to buy you expensive things 
which is very confusing to you 
“Y/N, have you ever wanted a horse?”
like seriously 
when those hints hit flat he tries to plan the best date ever
hes convinced this night will single-handedly bring him out of the friend zone forever 
taking you to the most expensive wine bar in London and tasting all the fine drinks of the upper class
its all vile
who even likes wine?
you can't even swallow most of it in a ladylike way
you also can't stop laughing at how ridiculous it all is 
Michael gets angry and flustered because his fool proof plan some how did not work? but how could this be
“lets just go” him storming out and you following, now giggling at how ridiculously serious he was
catching up to him and convincing him to come down the cut with you 
grabbing a few bottles of beer from the back of the Garrison and taking them up with you 
sitting by the water under the starts and laughing about what a sham the day has been 
“i just wanted it to be the perfect dat- day”
smooth Michael isn't so effective after a few beers
trying to explain that you're not one of those fancy girls who needs to be spoken to with money and expensive things, 
“i just want honesty Michael”
“okay well i really like you and i really want to take you on more dates please” 
drunk Michael is a very honest michael 
agreeing to more dates with him
doing all the stuff young teen  lovers do 
you keep him humble, while he shows you just how much you deserve 
knowing the Michael everyone else sees, but falling in love with the real him
the country boy who has big dreams and wants to see change in the world
hes a leader, but so are you 
you're both fiery, so it takes a while to work out how to coexist together
teaching Michael the importance of family loyalty because he's not got non season 5 michael I'm looking at you wtf is going on my dude sort your shit 
he is so LOYAL TO YOU 
wants to have a big family in the country with you 
he talks about having kids all the time 
he also believes in the importance of marriage 
he knows he wants you and you only, i imagine he's excited to put a ring on it but he also is okay with waiting until he knows for sure you're just as into it as him
helping him over the scars of his childhood and whatever happened in the orphanage 
he scares a lot of deep personal shit with you that makes you extremely angry 
you have dreams of killing that priest with your bare hands at least once a week 
Polly wouldn't be happy with anyone else being with her son, you are the only girl who has ever reached her impeccably high standards and she is always there for you; because you're her daughter in her eyes now - even before you two marry 
Convinving Michael to be a dog person 
he'd do anything for you 
you're not just his lover, you're his best friend and his whole heart. Michael has never found another soul he felt he could share all his thoughts with until you, and he knows there will be no one else after you 
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glossyworld2000 · a year ago
Ideas 4.28.20
- so before acting like this or that, my grandiose and sassy delusional self, let’s find out my biography - problem with nicole = center of attention ewwww oh no. wait so i AM 
uncomfortable if not in center of attention. Like don’t know what to do etc. Actually it’s not that hard to transfer over probably.  Because she’s positive and social, like against all of my shyful inhibition intuitions. so it’s a good base for how to act. but still have fun and be me. Just basic mannerisms and attitude is fun. - uno problem nicole be normal and rich like im not? i have a lot of weird in me that’s better fit like skys personality etc. i need to figure it out - im so fucking happy my conversations are coming back. things i can talk about. omfg.  - omg now im ok with my ebrassassing thoughts, can process and face them when i have someone with me (myself). im turning young again. shitt i mean boring? idkkkk. like when i can talk to myself i lose my delusions and my unconscious knowingness of my dishonesty and avoiding and lack of judgement and character etc. but im still boring. but i RECOGNIZE THAT. and that’s what matters. omgggg girl i love u but hate u . slowly ill build a storyline within me. it’s just starting. go in the right direction idk. im no longer lonely im so happy ……
- instead of worrying about my feelings about xyz, can focus on having fun amusing myself the effect etc. but my intentions need to be down pat before i enjoy myself - also i want to start being mature smart like u know stuff that takes you till ur 40 to know about how to handle people and urself and society etc, i wanna b smart about that NOW. and like i spent so much time in hell isolation i should be able to figure it out?? i think?? idk….like how i would have sprouts of wisdom from my hermit-ting due to how in pain and in torture i was. i think those days are over bruh. shittt……idk just keep a list of shit to remember - alsooo from the first time i feel like i have life ahed of me kinda. of fun and hope. - no more embarrassment about unconscious thoughts. because i can read them and feel them. also write about my totrutre energy shot trip yesterday jesus. like i couldn’t read my voice at ALL it was a PAINNNN. - girl u do not know the fucking hell i had to go through to figure this shit out oh my jesus. - also now that this is a realtisionship i can constantly discover new things about my self and im excited - difference between me and the youtube media kids i watch, i can see a dissonance discrepancy between what i COULD do and what i see. so if i see that i can move forward. eventually. not yet. the discrepancy is the childish sarcasm and self deprecation and numb humor. i mean i love it but there’s more to life ya know? + im literally 20 lol. there’s cassavetes. i could not understand cassavetes without the pain that I’ve experiences for the last 10 years. and im hope ill feel deeply and not take stuff for granted either. - WAIT I THINK talking out to other people is just bring out the conversation that was inside of you outward. OMG i literally forgot all this. that’s how friends connect. by common inner dialogues. and the unversal and fun and moral ur inner dialogue is the better u can connect with others. - in conclusion have the relationship with yourself you want to have with the world and ppl around u - still be very skeptical and actually it’s good to hate everything lol. but now you’re not alone in hating everything. i mean stay grounded. pls. let that be the takeaway. don’t lose ur strangeness tbh. idk ill figure it out. - also so no if im uncomfortable it’s because i haven’t thought it out yet. not exposed to it (i man u can’t be exposed to everything but exposed to the idea of it) so learn the world. educate urself etc. know what to do when u don’t know something as well. like how do u approach that??? - if don’t wanna get boring surround urself in the good parts of when u were isolated. figure it out. idkkkkk gosh tbh im scared but in a good way - question 1: what u wanna talk about out in the blue. convo starters etc. - i have good logic tbh. im good fam tbh. god - problem: if someone dies id still not feel anything deeply. - also time with urself without other is important to not get stupidly influenced. pick ur influences wisely. towards ur McQueen ass goals. stay grOUNDED DONT REPEAT UR PAST 12 YR OLD MISTAKES. KEEP PUSHING. PLS DONT LET THINK MAKE YOU HAPPY. LOL. JUST FUNCTIONAL PLEASE. PLEASE KEEP SUFFERING YOU NEED IT. - social stuff = awkwardness = not been in that sitch before to handle it clearly. so be in it, swim in it if u don’t wanna be awkward. like that’s that outsider distance. - ALSO PLEASE DONT BECOME A NARCASSIST. DEVELOP EMPATHY OPENMIDEDNESS ETC
- also hmmmm when have problem. really torture yourself with all different angles with it to master/drill it in: ie i had this self dialogue problem, i took the energy shot which literally is the most unconcentrated hard to control the brain thing, and i FOUGHT with it to see all different sides and energies of it and i came out good ish. so fight. idkkk - my lack of fitting in to the social world helped me to form my own rules and weirdness. so boringness = see things YOUR WAY. don’t keep following for no reason. so keep questioning and pushing the boundaries and limits. but it takes torture of hitting a brick wall on something normal, in order for me to move away from it. so it’s unlikely. good in conclusion good luck tbh. - so see it from the empathy with your old self. like see it from my old effed up perspective. for example, like try to MAKE myself hit brick walls. like make puzzles for myself to solve out of thin air. like looking at something that just doesn’t make senes to my brain. lie staring until find magic in a garden. something that makes me feel impossible to figure out. that’s the brick wall that will torture you into a new perspective. that feeling tbh im so glad of, it’s magical and has led me down this road to understand art and shit. - boring people = on their own they’re boring. no zing zing zing - it really feels like the chain of events that lead to this realization is like magical?? like butterfly effect. and i literally tried the boars head thing like EXACTLY at the right time. so strange tbh. - i think the other gist is that i was chasing an imaginary reaction. pushing away my own reaction for whatever damn reason. it’s strange. - yeah i feel manic right now a bit. like a lot of fantasy still and hyper hope. so i need to just get in REAL life. don’t be this theatrical clown with superficial exaggeration.  - im just too much in isolation and delusions that i can’t get out of this tbh. - lo: ok i GET the appeal now. be valued for my youth. accepted for it. not be forced to change. and that approval from ji. Let my real self and real reactions be truly just enjoyed. But when i do it with others it feel like their weakness. This cowardliness or fear of reaching for higher. But with ji it comes from a place of value that i can understand from PARENTS. ALSO omg i think it’s because since youth isn’t something ji has and so it’s not something they can suddenly realize is so stupid and low. It’s untouchable for them. But with peers its like they have it too, it’s nothing valuable. so it’s like a solid source of self worth. - my mom’s words make me sad because the environment of course i don’t want to feel that way about myself? Like it’s that simple. - also my mom is scared of MY inner voice? like encouraging behavior that will push it, and replace it with what she wants. - i think it remains that I 1) need to find my angle/perspective. like my sci soft angle from fashion photography 2) need to find some type of value in myself in general. 3) - what does she think what does she want? - i can’t stand my shallowness. i can’t. i hate it. - those places elsewhere fmor real life are where i discover meaning. not in the current. That’s just me. and that’s my truth ya know. like my base. like britney’s literally been everywhere - ALSO sometimes the feeling is because i’m not connected to my experiences. what are those exeirnce you ay ask? Like acting when i was younger, my outgoingness at the time. My show ness like when i go to the shows in Hollywood that’s like my literal base vibe stg. ALSO the acting stuff etc that was my life was like so meaningful already and so rich and stuff. i lose it a lot. - basically it’s better to be miserable because i’d rather not feel happy without truth ok maybe maybe make songs about how i feel rn lol - i AM feeling like myself here and there momentarily, like certain moods etc are REAL - also when learning can listen to my inherent questions and confusing instead of pushing awy. same when reading. - im starting to feel 2010 vibes? like I’ve just been accepting it. it was the last time i was alive. kinda simple i get it. like nostalgia. im actually feeling nostalgia for something that I experienced instead of a fantasy. i mean connecting to MY experience is something new. - strauss opera = remove priority of any one person’s emotional delusion perspective or opinion. modern. - Ateens fantasy:: - upside down = realizing the discrepancy between what you want and how far away it is and what’s in front of you, but adding like a self aware coat of it. like ironic lol - one step closer = falling and following the delusion completely despite all turmoil that will come with it. - all i want = trying to connect it to reality. getting a bit more direct and real fast. trying to connect with outside of fantasy influences. working so far. - my inner dialogue is freedoms anyways really. like my responses are like open and fun. - tbh my voice comes out when i am used to hiding something to myself n others and my voice is like lol nope that’s a complete lie here i am. - reactions lost = need something some decisions to react to. needs to be something in real life, relevant to life. the more relevant and non delusional the more natural the reaction will be. so just need to do something, act etc. can’t just react to air. i know i should be more observational one day i will. - MAKE ACTIONS THAT HAVE A PHYSICAL REAL LIFE IMPACT ON LIFE. I HAVEN’T HAD THAT IN SO LONG THAT I’ve turned to imaginary conflicts and actions. Those will be the ones whose reactions will bring me closer and closer to real life. that fixes the delusional problem.  haven’t actualized in so long. - every rule within a society is enforced on a foundation of violence. What's especially good about Banacek's stuff is his routining. He knows where to misdirect and exactly how much to misdirect. He's also a master of the equivoque, subtle force, and subtle anything. His mastery absolutely dazzles me. - another thing with the lying, i don’t want to hear her be reasonable. i don’t want to hear actual real good arguments against what i do because then i can’t form decisions myself. - always never ever act for someone else. no posturing just what you want to do. remove that performance from yourself. only act when you ask youself is that what you think? - i think self voice is also what i was insecure about with like florence pugh and hailey richardson etc - tbh i feel grateful and thankful that she’s blessed us with her presence after so many years of neglectcontact 1997 stealing bty -  why i loved let go, same as silver cross, etc. Unashamed of how feel, no cover. - perfectionism  =removal of emotion, remove the need for emotion and instead rely on external criteria - i finally feel like i have action - actually don’t focus on forming an opinion just focus on identifying how you feel. - arl Wilson felt that the album "finds unity of subject, style and sound by imagining scenarios in which vanishing into anonymity can be comfort and liberation"
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