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#ideal smoker
fictionadventurer · 10 months
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History Channel guys: So glad to have you onboard for our docudrama. Here's the script telling you everything you need to know to play Ulysses S. Grant.
Actor: This just says, "Stare off into the distance and take a long drag on a cigar."
History Channel guys: Yeah, we're pretty sure he ended 75% of his conversations that way, so this show is going to reflect that.
Actor: Okay, then. Throat cancer, here I come!
#history is awesome#presidential talk#there is more to the role but it's funny how many scenes end like that#they even mention that he was a pipe smoker before shiloh#it doesn't stop them from showing him with cigars through his whole life#i also find myself analyzing this the way i would a book adaptation#i couldn't watch it with anyone cuz i'd want to fill in all the cool stories they skip over#like his trip across panama or the washington potato fiasco#there's not nearly enough julia#and through the whole vicksburg sequence i'm just like 'where's fred???'#the man brought his twelve-year-old son to one of the most brutal theaters of the civil war!#i think this is worth portraying!#i was impressed that they dramatized the mexican war incident where grant brought ammunition through the active war zone#by clinging to the side of his galloping horse#but i was bummed they didn't show him setting the west point equestrian high jump record#that story is so cinematic in my head#it would be ideal for tv#show a couple other students doing their high jumps#suddenly the instructor raises the bar an entire foot and calls out 'cadet grant'#pause for murmurs of astonishment through the crowd#and then steely eyed and perfectly composed this kid takes the horse toward the jump and clears it#wild cheers and a small moment of satisfaction after earlier moments of instructors lamenting his poor schoolwork#it would be so cool!#as long as i'm talking about west point i should mention my shock that the show got his name wrong#they portray the 'u.s. grant was a clerical error' story#but grant objects 'my name is ulysses h grant'#even though his name was hiram ulysses grant#his initial were 'hug'!#it was a whole thing!#kids teased him for it which would have fit in perfectly with the rest of their 'people didn't appreciate him' thread
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mossywizard · 1 year
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Me remembering I have means of watching trigun and I can escape nostalgia and fall for my favorite characters all over againaaaaa
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pucksandpower · 2 months
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Of Roomates and Revenge
Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader
Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg
Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so
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Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink
I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.
The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.
In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.
The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.
Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.
Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.
Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.
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Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox
I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.
What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.
Duties would include:
Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water
Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)
Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)
In return, you’d get:
A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)
Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry
Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)
First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make
The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.
Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.
No scammy offers or soliciting, please!
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Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)
Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink
Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!
I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.
What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.
You’ll get:
Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district
Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment
Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas
As much wine as you can drink (and more)
In exchange, you’ll be expected to:
Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement
Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”
Refill wine glasses as needed
Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it
The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.
You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.
If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!
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Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:
Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)
Compensation: €400 per event
Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.
A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.
Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:
Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike
Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)
Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits
Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose
We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.
Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.
If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!
No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.
P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)
Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)
Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations
I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...
I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.
I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.
That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.
Your main duties would include:
Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment
Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)
Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc
Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.
In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.
Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.
If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.
I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.
No weirdos please.
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Hi,
Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.
I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).
A little about my qualifications:
Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics
Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄
Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway
Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)
No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry
In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.
Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!
I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!
Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.
Cheers,
Y/N
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 16h
My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!
I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.
A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.
This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:
“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”
Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.
Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.
I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.
My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.
I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.
I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.
Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.
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u/chronicgossiper · 12h
Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h
Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.
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u/chronicgossiper · 10h
Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 9h
Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.
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u/nosyandproud · 8h
Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?
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u/NotBritneySpears · 7h
He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h
So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 5h
It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h
Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.
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u/nosyandproud · 3h
Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 2h
Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h
This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!
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u/NotBritneySpears
Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m
Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.
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r/relationships
u/yourusername · 19h
I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?
Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.
About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.
I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.
Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.
From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.
But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.
I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?
In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.
Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?
Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.
Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!
The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.
Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!
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u/judgingloudly · 18h
Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!
If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!
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Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h
I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!
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u/livefordrama · 16h
I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …
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u/yourusername · 15h
Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!
As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!
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Reply to u/yourusername · 14h
Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.
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u/unpaidtherapist · 13h
Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!
Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.
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u/everydayopportunist · 12h
This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂
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u/devilsadvocate · 11h
I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.
My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!
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Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h
I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.
The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 15h
AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?
I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...
A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.
She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.
Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.
But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.
Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”
I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”
I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.
The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.
It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.
After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.
But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?
I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?
Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?
I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.
Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.
But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.
Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?
Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?
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u/juryofone · 14h
YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.
Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.
The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.
My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 13h
I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 12h
Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!
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u/neutralpartier · 11h
NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.
The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.
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u/glasshalfempty · 10h
ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.
My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h
This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h
Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.
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u/criticaloverthinker · 7h
I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h
I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.
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Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h
Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h
Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 8h
UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!
When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.
Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.
Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...
After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.
So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.
But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.
I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.
When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?
“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”
It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.
The limbo period was … not fun.
After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.
So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.
That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.
And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?
Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.
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u/juryofone · 7h
Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.
But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!
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u/neutralpartier · 7h
I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.
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u/glasshalffull · 6h
As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.
I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!
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u/romanticempath · 5h
What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.
I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!
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u/fairytaledreamer · 4h
I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?
Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!
All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!
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Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h
“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 21h
My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)
You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.
A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.
Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!
Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.
On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.
Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.
Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.
The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.
So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!
In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.
Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.
But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.
Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.
I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.
So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.
I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.
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u/chronicgossiper · 18h
Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.
Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.
As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.
At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h
I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.
They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 13h
Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h
Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.
Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.
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u/nosyandproud · 10h
The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.
That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.
At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.
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u/realitychecker · 7h
OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:
“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”
Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!
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Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h
Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”
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u/buildingbridges
OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.
My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...
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r/ask
u/amateurdetective · 15h
I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code
I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.
So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.
Hear me out:
First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.
Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.
But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.
Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.
The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.
I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:
Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal
The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it
Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy
After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real
Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises
Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!
I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.
Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.
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u/scepeticbynature · 14h
Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.
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Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h
Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.
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u/amateurdetective · 10h
I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:
A pair of feuding former childhood best friends
One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge
Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties
The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed
Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h
Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!
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u/opinionatedtruther · 7h
Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.
I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.
But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!
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u/amateurdetective · 6h
THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.
Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.
That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h
All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄
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lovingmattysposts · 3 months
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You don’t know me 16
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P1 P2 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P17 P18 P19 P20 P21 P22 P23 P24 P25 P26 P27 P28 P29 P30 P31 P32
pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo
summary: you and chris came from two different sides of the spectrum when it came to the social scale. You had the perfect life, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect parents, but when you start to peal back that layers things got messy. Your life was set and stone, your future was set and stone. That was until he comes and changes everything.
warnings: MENTIONS OF AN ABUSIVE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. Not in super detail, just her grabbing her and saying some hurtful toxic things, mentions of alcohol, mentions of losing a loved one
chris pov
Do you know how it feels when you light up a cigarette? I know it might sound stupid to non-avid-smokers, but the feeling you get when you light the flame and breathe in the nicotine and tobacco through your teeth.
It’s almost like a deep breath. Like you’re finally getting your deep breath after you’ve been drowning.
That’s how it felt being with y/n
I guess that’s why I started smoking.
I guess that’s how I got addicted to it.
It’s how I got addicted to her.
She laid against me snoring softly as she held onto me for dear life as she slept. I ran my hands through her perfect hair as she laid there.
I glanced over at the clock.
4:47am
God, I’ve been watching her sleep for a while. She’d been talking about her day, her week. What she’d been doing. I just listened smiling and nodding at her as she spoke. Until she stopped talking and her breaths came, noting she was asleep.
Sometimes I really do wonder how it felt being in her position. Me a couple months ago couldn’t see the situation she was going through anymore that rich people problems. But that was stupid. That was naive.
Shallow minded.
She was kind. She had a good heart. She had dreams.
She wasn’t some stuck up rich girl, she was a person. Believe or not.
She shifted in her sleep, rubbing her face against me even more as her hand shifted under my shirt and rested her smooth manicured hands against my bare chest.
“Mhm Chris”
I glanced down to her eyes. She was still dead asleep. I smiled down at her, pushing the hair out of her face as her mouth parted breathing again.
She even thought about me in her sleep.
I couldn’t stop smiling. Sure, the situation at hand wasn’t ideal. She was in a relationship with the last person who deserved her presence. I just tried not to think about it.
I looked up at the ceiling.
We had spent the rest of the night jumping on her bed trying to place the stars on her ceiling. They glowed softly, being the only light source in the room.
A part of me does feel guilty about the situation. Cheating was never something I stood behind, and clearly at the beginning of whatever we were, she didn’t stand behind it either.
But things got complicated. Things got messy.
And here I was, knee deep in a open relationship.
I wondered what Rose would think about all this. I wondered if all of it never happened, if she stayed, would I still be in Boston? Would I have never moved here? Would we still be together?
Would I have never have met her?
I glanced down at y/n.
I loved Rose, I’ll never not love Rose. But why do I feel guilty for loving someone else now? Someone who’s nothing like Rose.
My heart clenched.
“It’ll always be you Chris. Your heart is so pure” Rose whispered up at me. I pushed her strawberry blonde hair out of her face.
“I’ll never love someone who isn’t you” I whispered back. She smiled and kissed the tip of nose before laying against me. She ran her hands up my chest.
“If something ever happens to me, will you be okay?” Her small voice spoke. I shifted under her.
“Rose, don’t say things like that” I mumbled. She didn’t look up at me. “Chris, I’m serious” She whispered. I furrowed my eyebrows. “Would you fall in love again?” She whispered.
I blinked down at her.
“No” I stated blankly. She looked up at me. Her eyes not smiling. I shook my head. “What are you on about?” I asked looking at her. She took in a breath.
“I don’t want to fall in love with anyone else” I shook my head. She swallowed and kissed the side of my face, but her face was twisted. I couldn’t read her.
She laid against my shoulder.
“I don’t want to love anyone who’s not you” I whispered. She stayed silent. I looked down at her, tears were lining her eyes. I shifted.
“Hey, listen to me” I whispered pressing my hands against her face. She looked up at me. “I love you, you don’t have to worry about me falling in love with someone else” I shook my head.
She took in a breath laying back against me, but something didn’t feel right. We both stared at the ceiling as my stereo played softly in the background. Just both of our breathing being the sounds in the dark room.
“I’m not” She mumbled.
“I’m worried you won’t”
That was the last time I saw her. The police found her the next morning.
I closed my eyes, feeling the tears pouring down my cheeks. I swallowed. Y/n’s hand moved out of my shirt and wrapped around my body.
My arms were around her, and I didn’t want to wake her up by leaning up and wiping the tears from my face. It’s been years. Years since that conversation. Years since the funeral. Years since I moved here.
I wasn’t lying. I didn’t want to love anyone else.
But I realized something. You don’t choose your life, what happens to you, who you lose, what parents you have, who you fall in love with. It just happens. To try to control that is trying to tell the sun not to shine or the clouds not to rain. It’s impossible.
I meant it when I told her that I didn’t want her to be Rose. I don’t. I never wanted anyone to try to be like her. I loved her for the reasons I loved her and that had nothing to do with Y/n.
It was just harder to admit to her or myself that I had fallen in love again. Especially in a situation like this. I looked up to the fake stars wondering if Rose was proud of me for falling in love again or if she was angry for the way that I fell, the situation I put myself in.
I looked down at Y/n.
“Is it a horrible thing that I feel horrible about falling in love with you?” I whispered down at her sleeping figure. She didn’t react, didn’t move, didn’t speak, she was asleep.
I sniffled and looked back up at the ceiling. “It’s killing me that you’re still with him” I whispered next to her. The sounds of her breathing being her only response.
“It’s killing me that I feel like I’m betraying Rose” I said almost not audible. I swallowed staring up at the stars.
I’m so scared. I’m so scared that it won’t work. I’m so scared that she won’t break up with him. I’m so scared of losing someone else. I think it would hurt even more knowing she was alive and still left.
“M’ love you”
My eyes froze at the ceiling, my body stiffened. My gaze trickled down to her. She sighed, her eyes closed. “Chris” she breathed shifting lightly before falling back into the deepness of her sleep.
My breathing became uneasy as I looked down at her. I closed my eyes. I released my arms around her being careful not to wake her up as I grabbed her wrist, prying her from me.
Her eyes didn’t open. I couldn’t breathe. I sat up rolling her over, placing a pillow in the place of me. She hugged the pillow, still not rustling awake.
I stood off her bed as she laid fast asleep. I just stared down at her.
“You love me?” I whispered. No response. Just her chest rising and falling in her sleep. I placed my hands over my face. A sharp pain in my chest.
It scared me to fall in love, but it was even scarier knowing the pressure of her falling in love with me too.
-
y/n pov
“Y/n!” Sydney yelled wrapping her arms around me. I smiled hugging her back. “Not too bad huh?” I smiled down at her. “No, it’s fucking great!” She yelled over the music. I smiled and nodded.
“And your makeup!” She gushed looking up at me. I smiled and looked down, running my hands through my hair. “Not too much?” I breathed a weight on my chest. She shook her head.
My eyes glanced over my living room, scanning each face. Some I knew, some I didn’t.
“Are you okay?” She asked loudly. I looked back down at her. “Yeah! Have you seen—“ I started to yell before leaning down to her. “Chris?” I whispered. She just stared at me.
“Are you serious?” She glared at me. I swallowed and shrugged. “I don’t know I invited him but—“
“Y/n! It’s your birthday! Forget about that kid” She shook her head. I forced and nod and smile, but still looked around the room. I looked down at my phone.
10:10 pm
The party’s been going on for an hour now. I sighed putting my phone down. “Now, come on. Cayden and Max are in the kitchen taking shots” She dragged me towards the kitchen. I followed her.
I walked into the kitchen catching Max’s eyes. “My birthday girl!” He cheered, pushing people out of the way as he walked over to me. I smiled softly up at him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
He kissed the top of my head.
“Come on, a shot for the birthday girl!” Max said towards Cayden who was playing bartender. He smiled tipping the vodka into a shot glass. I looked up at Max.
“Max I don’t—“
“Come on babe, it’s your birthday. It’s a hall pass” He said leaning down and kissing me. I pushed away from him. “It’s not about a hall pass, I just don’t-“
He grabbed the shot putting it in my hand. I looked up at him. “Stop being a buzz kill and take the shot” He said staring down at me. I swallowed feeling everyone’s eyes on me.
Max grabbed a shot glass pouring his own. “Ready?” Max said staring down at me. I blinked at him. “Max I don’t want to” I whispered softly up at him.
He took in a breath before reaching down and grabbing the shot out of my hand, turning and looking at someone behind him.
“Shot?”
I tilted my head seeing a blonde push up off the counter and nod. He smiled handing her the shot and they both looked at each other before tapping the glass on the counter and downing the shot.
I just watched them, my mouth slightly parted. Cheers echoed through the kitchen. Max exhaled before looking down at me smiling. I looked over at the blonde who turned and looked at her friends giggling.
“Seriously?” I mumbled looking at him.
“Come on babe it’s not that serious” He said wrapping his arms around my waist. I glanced over to the girl. “She’s a freshman” I mumbled. He raised his eyebrows. “And can take shots better than you” He said.
I glared at him.
“Max” I heard Sydney’s voice say. He turned his head. “What? I’m just saying” He shook his head. I grabbed him arms around me, pushing him away from me walking away.
“Babe! Come on” I heard his voice as I walked away. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I walked through the party.
Where’s Chris?
I felt someone grab my arm. I look up meeting Sydney’s eyes. I pulled my arm back. She sighed looking at me. “Y/n, let it go he’s just drunk” She mumbled. I shook my head.
I turned my head before meeting a pair of familiar eyes.
Nate.
“I’ll be right back” I said looking at her and then walking through the crowd of people. If Nate was here, Chris can’t be that far. “Excuse me” I mumbled as I moved through the people crowding my house.
I ran up to Nate.
“Nate”
He turned from the sound of my voice. He let out a breath as he saw me. “Y/n” He nodded. I smiled slightly and looked around. “Where Chris?” I asked softly. He just looked at me before looking down at his feet.
A bad feeling came up my throat.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m here. He’s not coming, I didn’t want you to wait up on him” he said looking at me. I just blinked at him. I cleared my throat.
“What—what do you mean? He told me last night, he said he was coming” I shook my head confusion all over my face. He just looked at me.
“Is he okay?” I asked my chest clenching. He just looked at me. “Is he at his house?” I asked looking towards the door.
“Just give him time y/n, he gets like this sometimes” He explained. I shook my head not understanding.
“Gets like what? Nate we were fine yesterday. Is he okay? Did something happen?” I asked shaking my head my pulse quickening. He just stared at me.
“Y/n just calm down” He said looking at me. I shook my head, feeling my heartbeat way too well. “I c-can’t Nate. I can’t lose him, Nate I—why isn’t he here?” I said feeling heat come up my neck.
“He just didn’t want to come”
I stared at him. I shook my head. “No, he told me he would come Nate” I swallowed. He sighed looking at me. “He’s coming” I nodded looking at Nate as he stared at me, pity all over his face.
“I wouldn’t wait up” Nate mumbled before walking past me. I just watched him as he walked out of the house. I stared at the door.
I felt arms come around me once Nate’s presence was gone. I swallowed as I stared at the door. “You didn’t open your present from me” Max said pressing his lip against my ear.
“Max I need to talk to you” I said staring at the door. He sighed as he walked around me. I looked up at him with a straight face.
“Here, I got you a sprite” He said handing me a solo cup. I looked from the cup to him. “I’m not thirsty” I said looking up at him. He rolled his eyes.
“Babe, I’m sorry about before. Just take the drink it’s just sprite” He shook his head looking down at me. I stared at him.
“Max I have to talk to you about something” I said almost a whispered. He took a deep breath looking down at me.
“Take the sprite, open my present. Then we can talk” He said staring down at me. I glanced to the sprite before taking it out of his hand and looking down at it.
“Presents upstairs” He motioned towards my steps. I looked towards then stairs and then back at him. He smiled and grabbed my hand as he led me up the stairs.
I took a drink out of the cup, before rubbing my lips together and looking down at it. It tasted weird. Not like bitter alcohol weird. Like too fizzy weird. I looked up at Max as we made it to the top of the steps.
We walked into my room and he closed the door. I set down the drink turning back to him.
“Look Max I—“
“Present” he said walking over to my dresser and handed me a small box. I looked up at him as he watched me. I sighed as I undid the box.
A small necklace was on display in the box.
A gold necklace.
I don’t wear gold.
I looked up at his smiling face. “Do you like it?” He smiled. I sighed setting the box down. “It’s beautiful Max” I said looking up at him. He smiled as he stepped forwards and pressed his lips to mine.
I kissed him back softly as he gripped my hips. I wiggled out of his grip on me. “Max you’re gonna wrinkle my dress” I said looking up at him. He just shook his head smiling.
“I don’t care” he chuckled moving back over to me and kissing me again and grabbed me. I moved my face away from him and he just started to kiss my neck. “Max, the party I have to-“ I breathed. His hand came up around my throat. “Stop talking” his grip tightened. I whined at the grip he had on me. I hated it.
I wiggled my arms between us and it just caused his grip to tighten against me. This didn’t feel good. This didn’t feel like how I felt when I was with Chris. This felt like the exact opposite.
I tried to swallowed. I felt dizzy. I managed to get my arms between us before shoving him off of me.
“Max!” I cried as I pushed him, as my fingers came up to my neck. “What?” He breathed looking at me. I felt my eyes start to water.
“Why were you grabbing me like that?” I said looking up at him, trying to lower my heart rate. “Like what? It was to turn you on” He said shaking his head. I glared at him.
“Why the fuck would that turn me on?” I said shaking my head. He just stood there and stared at me, like he didn’t know what to say. My throat ran dry and I walked over to the sprite before drinking some more, but there was a weird taste to it.
I looked up at him, he just stared at me.
“Is this diet or something?” I asked setting the cup down. He just looked at me and shrugged. I shook my head looking away from him.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought we would—“
“We would what? Have sex?” I asked glaring at him. He just blinked at me, before his gaze hardened.
“You’re acting like that’s out of the question, you’re my girlfriend and I can’t remember the last time you let me touch you” His voice raised.
I turned away from him.
“That’s not the y/n I know—and to be honest? It’s really pissing me off” he said grabbing me, making me turn to him. I looked down on his grip on me. “Max” I breathed bending slightly from the pain.
“What? Are you getting it from someone else? Cause you’re not getting it from me” He spat down at my face. I winced and attempted to pull from him.
“You’re hurting me” my voice broke. He pulled me closer to him. “Answer the question” he said through gritted teeth. I swallowed and shook my head.
“Huh? Are you cheating on me? Are you that much of a slut?” He spat down at me. “Max” I cried pulling against his grip. He fought me, before grabbing my other arm and pushing me against the wall. I winced from the pain of the impact. I turned my head as he leaned his face to mine.
“Max you’re just drunk snap out of it” I cried as I squeezed my eyes closed. “You’re a slut. You know that? You’re a slut” He screamed at me as the door pushed open.
Max turned his head before he let me go and I fell slightly.
I blinked my eyes open seeing Sydney standing there, slightly in shock. Her eyes widened looking between us. She swallowed.
“Uh, I was just gonna tell y/n that the cake’s here. Everyone’s waiting” She whispered. Max sighed and looked down. I just shook against the wall.
Max looked at me before looking back at Sydney.
“Just give us a second” He mumbled.
I pushed myself off the wall before walking past both of them and out of my room, tears burning at my eyes.
I was so embarrassed. So fucking embarrassed that Sydney saw that.
I walked down the steps wiping my eyes, and I felt the werid feeling of dizziness come over me again. I shook my head as I made it to the end of the steps.
I looked up seeing everyone looking at me. The noise of them singing happy birthday washed over me. I just stood frozen as Cayden walked over to me holding a cake with candles, but his voice altered when he saw my face.
I scanned the room as I looked at every face. Not one of them being the face I wanted to see.
Cayden stood in front of me as I looked down feeling the flames from the candle way too much as the song finished.
I just looked up at him before pushing past him and out of my front door. I just needed Chris. He could make it all better. I just had to get to Chris.
As the cold air washed over me, I felt the dizziness again. I shook my head as I reached down, pulling the heels off my face as I sprinted down the street.
Chris’s face being the only thing I could see as I ran.
tag list: still waiting to do this i dont have the time rn, love you all
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ziinesso · 11 months
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A bouquet of flowers in hand. It didn't suit him. Too romantic for hands so dull. And yet, here he was, in front of your door, a bouquet of flowers in hand. He couldn't find anything better. He couldn't find better advice than that old magazine's. Flowers to apologize. He tightly held the bouquet. His face burning, he repeated the line from that movie. The magazine had mentioned that movie. The magazine had mentioned a lot of things. A lot of advice. He had noted them all down. To become the perfect boyfriend. He already was. He didn't know. But you did. You knew he was your ideal boyfriend.
- megumi (jjk) ; sasuke, neji, tobirama (nt) ; law, smoker (op) ; baji, kazutora (tr)
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vs120shound · 2 months
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And a little bit of this and a little bit of that! Well, when you add it all up together, you kind of have something grand on its own. Below is a compilation of recent SF photographs that caught our eye and fell betwixt and between of being in our standard posts. They shine here!
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ODDS & SODS, BETWIXT & BETWEEN | GREAT PHOTOS WITHOUT IDEAL HOMES
February Photo Extravaganza!
Who better than Brytanny Leahann Dodge (Justnitnee2) with one of her "secondary" Misty 120s Menthols to lead off a post featuring a collection of great photos who -- although each is outstanding within its own nature -- just cannot quite join the parade into posts that use pictures to support video-centric posts. These are freestanding treasures that we are assembling together without any real or imagined theme . . . just remarkably gorgeous BHYSWs (Beautiful Hot, Young Smoking Women) showing their love for their sexy and wonderful cigarette-smoking habits. Light 'em-up, Honeys!
Dual-Media 31-Pack Megapost!
Let the roll of sensational photographs begin . . . with Anchor Photographs at the very end of the post, saving the Best for Last!
A Quartet of Kriss H.!
Beautiful Ukrainian blonde living in Prague, Czech Republic . . .
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From urkamamil of Smoking Fetish Kingdom on February 24, 2024
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From george123 of Smoking Fetish Kingdom on February 20, 2024
A Twin-Killing of Klassi Katti!
Gorgeous Ukrainian model living in France . . .
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From urkamamil of Smoking Fetish Kingdom on February 24, 2024
Solo of @smokingfetishgirl11!
New to the SF game!
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From urkamamil of Smoking Fetish Kingdom on February 24, 2024
Colorful Candy (IG@smokingredxx)!
A Social Media Smoking Darling and SF Entrepreneur from Bethlehem, Pennyslvania (U.S.A.)
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Top photo from urkamamil of SFK on February 21, 2024; bottom photo from Instagram@smokingredxx on February 14, 2024
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SKIPPING AROUND . . .
Unidentified One-and-Done'r!
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From Jackson105 of SFK on February 22, 2024
Sugar_Linchen from Germany!
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From urkamamil of SFK on February 21, 2024
Lola Montez (Megan/@thesmokingwitchh)!
SF Entrepreneur and mother from Georgia (U.S.A.)!
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From user0726 of SFK on February 17, 2024
@ale_smoke21!
A young fashion model from somewhere in Europe!
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From Instagram@ale_smoke21 on January 27, 2024
Madelyn Sultri (Smokingprincessof/ Riverprincess) of California!
Loves her Marlboro 100s, playing to the camera and heading in a NSFW direction nearly at all times
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From Jackson105 of SFK on February 22, 2024
Anka ("Anna") Zapala!
She's just stopping by on her way to greatness. At 27 y. o., has done SF modeling/acting work for Nicotine Ladies, Smoking-Models (U.K.), SmokingModels (Florida, U.S.A.) and Smoking Sweeties (Spain); has her own SF website (www.annasmoking.com); plans to open her own line of lingerie as her long-term goal. Half-Spanish/half-Polish!
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From slavek999 of Smoking Fetish Kingdom on February 3, 2024
Hot, New Social Media Clip!
From Instagram@ciggietime10 on February 25, 2024 . . .
instagram
ANCHOR VIDEO!
Victoria of USA Smokers from lobo68 of Smoking Fetish Kingdom on February 22, 2024! . . .
ANCHOR PHOTOGRAPHS!
Josee (Real-Smoking-Girl)
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Laura A. (R.S. of Australia)!
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Maddy (Australia)!
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Skittlez Cano (Ariel/Arielle)!
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milk-ly · 2 months
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Fuuta and Mikoto as Character Foils
This amazing post talks about Fuuta's people pleasing tendencies and they mentioned how Mikoto is simillar, but does it in a different way. And I have NOT been able to stop thinking about it so I want to get my thoughts out about how Fuuta and Mikoto are character foils to each other.
Fuuta and Mikoto are pretty much complete opposites. They parallel in that they both desperately crave societal acceptance, but they differ in how they go about it. Mikoto tries to read the room and changes every aspect of himself in order to seem more friendly and amicable to fit in. He does things based on what he SHOULD do because it’s the societally accepted way to do things and he’ll be liked for it.
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Fuuta doesn’t because it’s just how he is, his naturally fiery and argumentative temperament makes it hard for people to like him. It’s not that he doesn’t want to fit in but he isn’t willing to change himself the same way Mikoto is. Mikoto is friendly and approachable while Fuuta is the complete opposite.
But here’s the thing, he IS also like Mikoto in that regard because he is seen in MILGRAM actively changing himself in order to believe that he is that idealized self in Bring It On. He tries to be a representative for everyone and confronts Es for hurting Yuno during his t1 VD, despite having to hype himself up before charging up at them.
But still, no matter how hard he tries he can’t be that idealized self. He can’t fit in, because it’s not who he is. He wants to be accepted as himself! He wants friends he can share the same interests and opinions with to feel validated.
Portal Timeline conversation (2023/07/05):
Fuuta: "Oh, well. I guess I can understand a bit now. When you're feeling down, it's nice to have someone to rely on, someone who accepts you."
It's why Mikoto thinks Fuuta’s immature because Fuuta's unable to fit into society and "be an adult" like Mikoto can. Mikoto thinks that once you grow up, you need to buckle down and start conforming or else you'll never get anywhere in life. To him, it's disgraceful to be angry because it's frowned upon, and Fuuta's pretty much in a constant state of rage, which is why Fuuta has such a hard time finding acceptance. Every time they talk, they’re criticizing each other. Their first ever conversation starts with Mikoto lecturing Fuuta about how he can’t and won’t fit in and it (rightfully) ticks him off, especially since Mikoto can. It’s why they’re at each other's throats like every time they interact (which is pretty little). Mikoto even straight up has a line in the earbud collab about how Fuuta will never get any girls.
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Fuuta is constantly considered by others as “immature” and “childish” such as Kazui saying that it's okay for Fuuta to be cocky because he's young or how Fuuta is constantly linked to games (typically associated with children). Or the fact that the lyrics from Bring It On: ""Kono yubi tomare" [is] a traditional saying from a traditional kid’s game."
On the flip side, Mikoto is constantly reminding people that he’s a working adult. Not to mention, Mikoto tends to hang around the older prisoners more (the smoker trio) while Fuuta interacts with the younger prisoners the most. (Amane, Haruka, and sometimes Muu)
Mikoto wants to be a cog in the machine and believes that if he works hard enough, he'll be able to make it in the workforce. Fuuta actively criticizes the workforce and how it's useless to work too hard, so he "goes with the flow."
There are so many smaller details too that emphasize their foil. Mikoto smokes, Fuuta hates smoking. Mikoto's voice is high and whiney while Fuuta's is deep and aggressive. Fuuta has an older sister while Mikoto has a younger sister. Both their parents are divorced but Fuuta is missing his mother while Mikoto is missing his father. However, one similarity is that they both SEEM to have good opinions about their moms while having questionable ones with their dads.
Something else I think about a lot is how Fuuta parallels with John. Especially concerning these lines from John when you realize John is pretty much the opposite of Mikoto too:
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John might be the person Mikoto wishes he was. Someone who stubbornly stands their ground, someone who tries stand up for themselves and “gives people their just desserts.” Sounds rather familiar to a certain red-head, I must say.
In addition, they share a lot more similarities too, like their connection to the bright colour red, contrasted by Mikoto's light blue. They both have short tempers and jump at Es as a defence mechanism, in contrast to Mikoto having a fawn response and laughing everything off. They both use the first-person pronoun "ore" while Mikoto uses "boku." Both Fuuta and John have a deeper and more aggressive tone in comparison to Mikoto. Fuuta's symbolism as a brave knight protecting the weak and punishing evil parallels John protecting the "weak" (Mikoto) and acting as his saviour from threats. Mikoto couldn't stand up for himself so John did it for him, Fuuta "stood up" for the people hurt by the actions of the people he cancelled.
To add on to that, Mikoto’s name in kanji means “noble” or “revered.” Words that remind you of royalty, or a prince. (Boy princess fr fr) John being his saviour makes him his knight in shining armour. Matching with Fuuta’s knight symbolism!
Mikoto envies these traits in Fuuta yet hates them and purposefully suppresses them within himself because it's not socially acceptable to act like him. Fuuta likely similarity envies people who can fit in, like Mikoto. Perhaps the reason why the two are so irked by the other is that they each embody traits the other admires yet can't have.
But in the end, they both can’t really fit into “normal” society. Mikoto, who claims he can, is suffering to the point of breaking. Fuuta, who tried and finally found an ounce of acceptance and ally ship in his online buddies, ended up getting carried away and causing the death of someone.
I'm really surprised I haven’t really seen this mentioned or discussed very much. Sorry if it’s really obvious, I just wanted to point some stuff out. Anyway man, I love these two a lot and I would love to see more stuff diving into these two in a canon context too.
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AITA for yelling and threatening my dad because he keeps spitting in the toilet?
For context, I (18) live at home with my parents (Dad: 50 / Mom: 53) and my twin (also 18). I've never gotten along well with my dad for a multitude of reasons, and we regularly clash because of opposing ideals and beliefs. My dad is also a smoker, which is why he tends to cough and spit a lot, and my mom either buys him cigarettes or gives him money to buy some for himself.
Within the last 6 months(ish?), my dad's taken to spitting in the toilet and leaving it in there without flushing. He's NEVER done this previously, and has generally been respectful of how he spits up until recently. So, every time one of us has to pee or whatever, we gotta see his spit and bloody phlegm in the toilet. And it's not just that one toilet, he does it in BOTH bathrooms so we literally can't escape it.
I've tried talking to him privately about this, but he doesn't care and ignores me. My sister and mom have complained about it because it's disgusting, but he laughs us off. Every single one of us has asked him to flush or spit somewhere else, but he tunes out and keeps doing it despite this. We've asked him so many times to stop now that I can't even give you an number.
Yesterday was the breaking point. I was already pissed for reasons unrelated to this, but when I walked into the bathroom there was a huge ball of spit there and other smaller ones floating it there. I was so disgusted and mad, and he knew I would be because he was sitting right outside! And he was smiling and laughing, like my disgust was funny somehow!!
I turned right around and went off at him about how his habit isn't funny and is disrespectful to everyone, and that if he wants to keep disrespecting us then I'll convince my mom to not buy him cigarettes anymore since he keeps coughing up stuff. He said that that's cruel and that I'm just being sensitive, but I'm very clearly not being sensitive if my sibling and mom agree with me. He said that he doesn't want to flush the toilet if he spits in it once, but he very clearly spat in it multiple times, and even if he was concerned about wasting water then spit in the trash or something!!
The argument stopped when he left and went upstairs, and me and my twin were left downstairs. He said that I could've handled that better, but she was glad that I said that to him because she was very close to confronting him herself. I told my mom about this today, and for some reason she thinks that I was being mean and that while she understands that I was angry, I shouldn't have threatened him like that. I told her she can just not buy cigarettes for him until he stops, but even the mere thought of him not getting cigarettes is enough for my mom to be upset with me.
So, aita for this? I get that I could've handled this situation better, but I don't think he should keep getting rewarded with cigarettes for not respecting our shared space and house.
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maissafespace · 1 year
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Fast Learner.
Yuta Okkotsu x Reader
Request: Yuta being taught how all kinds of sex works by one of his old teachers?(basically, the reader is older than him by like ten or five years, but they are both legal age)
Warning: age gap. reader is 27 and Yuta is 19, inappropriate superior-student relationship, smoker!reader explicit NSFW. virgin!yuta, horny!yuta, unprotected sex, creampie, foreplay. fingering, oral sex female and male receiving, cum eating, light choking, face fucking, deepthroat, praising kink, dry humping, grinding, impregnation thoughts, sneaky sex, dominant!yuta (later), breeding kink.
WC: 3.8k words.
A/N: Till now I don't know if you meant teaching sex work as blowjobs, oral sex, positions and all or about sex work. I went with the first anyway. Hope y'all enjoy it tho. Like and reblog would be amazing. Requests are still open even if i take some time in making them, have patience with me lol
part 2.
Masterlist - Masterpost
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Let's start with the fact that your relationship wasn't supposed to end up this way. You were his superior, kind of, Gojo was under Yaga, you were under Gojo and you had Yuta under you for a favor to Gojo.
The hierarchy was confusing, but you knew though that whatever was happening between you two was inappropriate.
The first time you saw him you were 26, you had been invited to the graduation into sorcerers for Maki's class, there you had seen him for the first time.
The prodigy child, the cursed child that Satoru had been pestering you about meeting, was not that much of a child anymore. When he introduced you two to one another you could appreciate the sweet eyes up close, his rosy lips and the warmth that he emanated with his entire persona despit the gloomy appearance.
You had initially brushed off the butterflies you had in your stomach when meeting the 18 year-old young man. It must have been the fact that you had not have male contact in a while for work and he was the first new man on sight that was in your parametres of attraction.
That feeling should have dissipated, disappeared and faded with time.
But the complete opposite happened.
Not long after the graduation, Yaga had assigned him under Gojo but as he had too much on his hands with the new young sorcerers and his own clan duties, he decided and notified that he would have passed him to you.
He had told you anyway that he was reliable and responsible, as a special grade he had the same if not more power and abilities than you so that would be ideal as none of you would slow the other down.
You started to pair up together, even in missions where you weren't supposed to have a partner and beside one or two you weren't supposed to. You simply enjoyed each other's company, you talked for hours and hours, he told you about his past, why he decided to follow Gojo and what were his plans for the future, and you did the same, telling him of your past, on your decision to become a sorcerer and your current non existent plans for the future.
You giggled like a high school girl that had a crush with him, often leaning and resting your head on his shoulder, his friendly hugs when a mission was done, whether it was a side-hug, a hug from behind with him inhaling your scent, and you feeling his warmth, his snuggling into your neck, whatever type of physical touch left you wanting more every time.
He had a way with his words that left you speechless more often than you'd like to admit. With compliments and deep talks, making you blush whenever and stay up all night to talk about something even trivial.
Being able to talk about him with everything and only finding understanding was amazing.
His genuine and honest way to say sweet things, talk about feelings, emotions and love was breathtaking for you. How he passed time telling you how love was the purest thing of all and how he'd treat his lover left you imagining how he would be if that lover was you.
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Maybe the first line you both crossed was being in his room so late at night. Out of work hours you two shouldn't be together, you two shouldn't have much to talk about...
still you ended up sitting at the end of his bed, wearing his t-shirt to get out of your uniform, head against the wall with the window door open, your legs were across his lap with his hands caressing them up and down, you turned every puff you took of the cigarette in your hand.
As much as he said he was okay with smoke, you didn't want his room to smell of it and he endured it.
It was peaceful, midnight had passed and tomorrow would have been your day off, for both of you, maybe that's why you accepted his invitation here. That's why you let your guard down.
"The probability to send us both overseas is very slim, Okkotsu. They need at least one of us here." You laughed along, his proposals were definitely a bit dreamy.
"They got Gojo sensei here and all the students, believe me once we tell 'em that they could earn more by sending special grades overseas, they won't let you have time to pack." He said, patting your leg, you puffed out some smoke.
Taking in the smoke. "I'll trust you on your word." Puffing it out.
You looked outside for a few more seconds looking at the grey smoke disappearing into thin air. When you met eyes with him again, he was staring at you, so softly as if admiring your features. Your lips curving up in a bit of embarrassment and his following your lead.
He extended his fingers, your eyebrows furrowing before widening and shaking your head in refusal. "Oh come on, it will be fine."
You snorted at his puppy pleasing face, looking down at the cigarette in your fingers, patting on the top and letting the ash fall down before handing it to him with a sigh. "Don't inhale too much. Make sure to not let it out of the nose, that will burn a lot. It's okay if you cough, only normal."
Your fingers went through a few strands of his black hair, watching him as his face contorted at the inhaled bitter taste, patting your legs. Pulling away with a scrunched up face when he puffed out the smoke, you giggled as he pushed the cigarette back to you. "You did good for the first and last time."
Your lips touched the orange colored filter, taking one last inhale of the smoke before throwing it away out of the window. "How do you get used to it?" His hoarse voice was doing things to you, much that you didn't notice your hand on his chest.
"When you have more to think about than the taste, it's easier the first times. After that you get used to it." Your voice was soft and low, your mind had picked up a few memories from when you had started smoking, not a lot of pride for a 14 year-old.
You sighed after looking at him, closing your eyes, conflicted in the heat that was filling your entire body. You pushed your knees up close to your chest, hiding in them with a groan and he only kept smiling so cutely. "What's wrong?"
You peeked up at him, he leaned closer and closer, his finger gently pushing your hair out of the way. "Fuck..." You tried to stand up only for your wrist to get grabbed and pulled down, his hand cupping your face as your lips clashed and moved with one another.
The smacking echoed, his other hand guiding your waist down, sitting on his lap as the kiss continued with his tongue entering your mouth and moving with yours.
There was something about the messiness of the kiss, the shuddering, the tight grip and pulling... you knew what it was when you managed to moan. "O-kkotsu... wait." He kept kissing you down your neck.
"I'm sure, don't worry about it." He pulled away, those lust and love filled eyes were nothing more than a drug for you to keep going. "I will just- he kissed the palm of your hand- need some guidance, please."
Your lips found his again, fingers brushing through his hair roughly, gripping at roots to move him just the way the kiss could be better, his hands pulling you down against the growing bulge in his sweatpants.
Your hips started to willingly grind on him, his mouth faltering, whimpering and moaning at the action. Rolling up and down his lap, feeling his erection get bigger and bigger, till a hiss escaped his lips, the thightness had been too much. You felt the slight pain of his nails digging into your skin through the t-shirt, his flushed face was perfect along with his half lidded eyes.
At the sight you felt an urge in you, your legs trying to close back together to relieve the amount of lust you were pouring out.
His hands fell from your back and onto grabbing your ass, cupping it perfectly and moving your body as he wished. He pressed you down even more where your clit and folds fully slid against his cock through your clothes. "Ah... Y-Yuta..." His name was sweet honey to his ears, making him only pull you more into him, sending him over the edge.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck-!" You muffled his moans and grunts as he came by kissing him. He held you tight in an embrace, his legs shaking a bit and you tried to push off the fact that you could feel his cum and your juices mixing together.
This had to be a one time thing, a spur of the moment thing.
But the fact you didn't cum was making it hard, you wanted to continue, it felt far from finishing, you wanted to feel him in you and have those lips on your body.
It could be a one night thing though, the night was still young for you two.
When his hold loosened around you, there was a look you both found in your eyes, silenced by the lips meeting once again. "Yuta, tonight I will teach you how to please a woman, how to please me... is that okay for tonight?"
"Please do." He was breathing heavily against your lips, your voices reduced to mere whispers. Only you should be allowed to see that look, you should but you probably wouldn't. You will take the most out of tonight.
You pulled away from him, guiding him to sit at the edge of the bed while you kneeled in front of him and between his legs. Seeing the patch of soaking cum on his pants was enough to make your pussy feel in complete heat. Your hand palmed it, feeling it hardening again underneath, the pants and boxers slipped off, meeting your prize.
He whimpered at your tight hold on him, feeling between a thousand emotions, as his hands gripped on the sheets beneath him.
You moaned as your hand started to stroke him slowly, your thumb playing with the tip, spreading around the precum as it fully hardened. He was of an impressive size, he had girth and a slight curve that would be amazing later on, he wasn't trimmed though, his hair matched black and thick.
A nervous chill passed through him as he waited for more, your inspection of him made him ask questions, was he too small? Was he too veiny? Was it because of the hair? He had not known that this would be the day he'd finally have you, there was no reason for him to do so, now he felt-
"Fuck-" He said as the warmth of your mouth engulfed him fully, your tongue playing with the tip, swirling around to taste him, purposefully tracing along the veins around his shaft while one hand stroke the parts you couldn't reach with your mouth.
Everything felt so right, your moans vibrated around him, you could feel the tensing of his legs and you saw the hold he had on the sheets, fighting the urge to fully push you down onto him, feel the back of your throat and see you choke on his cock, that was his recurrent fantasy, the one he jerked off to alone.
You continued to bob your head up and down, your hand abandoning his thigh to find his and guide it behind your head. "Not too harsh, gentle but rough." How could both coexist?
"How is this pleasing you?" He asked in heavy breaths, flushed and embarrassed. A grin taking over your face.
"This is very pleasing to me, seeing you like this, how I make you feel... never hide it from me, I want to hear you." Taking him back in your mouth, you also felt the slight burn of the pulling on your hair.
He moaned freely, calling your name a few times. pulling on your hair more, rubbing your scalp as well, he guided your mouth as if it was nothing but his cumdump, you moaned with him at the thought. The usual timid and sweet Yuta turning into this feral version that was guided by his lust.
He stood up, thrusting his hips into you rather than guiding your mouth, he fucked your mouth, pushing till he could feel the back of your throat, that sent him on edge but he was trying to keep himself straight. Your fingers were digging into his legs, opening your mouth wide and swirling your tongue as best as you could.
You wanted the warm seed, drink it down, feeling the taste of him.
But that wish was up when he pulled back from you, still hard and throbbing, leaning down to kiss the lips that tasted of him.
The kiss was probably the most erotic thing you've had experienced with someone.
The need, the hold around your neck, the full exchange made your thighs clench together, you felt empty as ever. "Can I fuck you?" A short question that had butterflies in your stomach as if it was the most romantic request.
The rest of your clothes went abandoned, thrown towards the door, over his desk and his katana. To his request you stayed down while he went on top, kissing one another while his cock laid on top of your stomach. "You're so perfect, so fucking beautiful..." He muttered against your lips, his hips grinding against yours.
His hand slipped down, passing your stomach, brushing against your throbbing clit, rubbing in between you wet folds till his fingers entered your soaking hole. "That's it, Yuta." Your hand went down to his. "Curl them, just like before, find th- ah!" You stopped as the tips of his fingers had hit right into your spot, a mischievous smile on his face. "Keep going, fuck-" Your fingers went to your clit wanting your orgasm to reach faster whiler your lips locked with his.
He pushed your hand away, pulling from the kiss and leaning down to your pussy as his fingers kept going. He planted a kiss right where your clit was, your teeth greeting in self-control. "I've had so many dreams about this moment." He licked from your entrance up to your clit, your hips trying to grind against his face. "I want you cum in my mouth, ho-"
"Keep fingering me, faster and deeper... like that... lick and suck right here." Two of your fingers parted your pussy, guiding him right above your clit, it was not a bad beginning. "Faster, Yuta, more tongue." But with a bit of advice, he learned fast. He planted you back down as you moved through the stimulation.
"A bit more, babe, I'm right there." You encouraged him filling his tongue faltering a bit as if tired. Your moans and your words made him continue even better, faster and pressuring more. "Shit, I'm going to cum, Yuta-!" He moaned on you sending you over the edge, his fingers felt the clenching around of your walls, he couldn't wait for his cock to feel that as well.
The flow of juice coming down was retained in his fingers as he made you ride all your high to the point where you had to push his head away, when he was sure the orgasm was done he went down swallowing every part of you.
He sat back up, licking the fingers up and down. His cock slapped against your clit, making you jump a little, he was still flushed, looking for you to say something. "Good job, babe, not all men can make a woman cum, but you did on your first try with some instructions." A kiss sealed your words, hunger on his side, satisfaction on yours.
"I want more, y/n." He muttered with a raspy voice. "I want to feel you around me." You leaned back down together.
"You have a condom?" His face broke a little at the question, he didn't and he didn't want it to be the reason to stop now. "Mhmm... that's no good, you should always have condoms when doing this."
You caressed his cheek, brushed through his hair, smiling at his sad look. "But since it's with me, we could do bareback." Your suggestion made his face lit up, you felt his cock twitch a little against you. "Only this time, only with me, okay?"
He nodded, leaning down to kiss you one time before taking himself in his hand and slap the pulsing head against your folds. A wet smack echoing in the room, he trembled a bit. "Take your time, Yuta." You whispered to him in comfort.
Lubricating himself a bit more he started to push in, his fingers dug into your flesh to keep himself from cumming right away at the tightness and warmth. When he filled you fully, he took a few seconds of break, stilling, feeling the walls clamp around him.
Ecstasy shot through him at the situation.
You were with him, he was having sex with you, every and all fantasies he had were becoming true, they were better than he imagined at all. He was even doing it raw, he could get you pregnant if he was lucky, that way you'd be bound to him for your life. He wanted to do that, he wanted you for a long time now.
He started to thrust, grunting at first, he picked up his pace, fast and deep, letting his hunger guide him till your fleshes were smacking together in a way that echoed through the room and accompanied the loud moans that escaped your mouth.
He was splitting you apart, his thrusts growing uncontrolled, as the bed moved with you, the creaking and the hitting of the headboard to the wall were obscene. But at the over sensitivity you felt from the earlier orgasm you didn't care, you just wanted him.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Yuta, I'm close again, I'm close." You told him in desperation, he leaned down, your legs wrapping around his waist, his lips falling on yours as he held on the headboard to push as deep as he could.
"I'm going to cum." He breathed heavily. "Fuck- I'm going to cum in you." He ravished your collarbone and neck, while a hand on your part went to your clit, rubbing till you orgasmed, screaming his name, clamping down on him as he fucked you through your high.
A few seconds later after you he filled your womb with thick ropes of cum, both of you covered in a light veil of sweat, his room smelling like sex, and for Yuta... he couldn't have ever imagined to have a first time as perfect as this.
"Y/n, this was perfect, thank you." He leaned down kissing you all over and you couldn't help but smile. Holding him close to you for the rest of the night, reminding yourself this couldn't be more outside of this one time, it was wrong and even if he had initiated there was a power imbalance.
So you held him, as both of you fell asleep hugging each other.
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Maybe you two weren't on the same page after all.
You had left his bed and room in the middle of dawn, to not be caught by the servants of his dorm nor by anyone else that could be up at early in the morning.
Nothing happened much when you two met each other again in front of Yaga for another mission , nothing happened during the mission as well, nothing happened when you were walking back, there was the normal conversation you were used to have, but it was as if last night had not happened at all.
You didn't know whether to feel relieved or hurt by it.
But as you returned to your dorm, not so alone, your clothes were scattered on the floor, your lips locked with his as he rutted back into you.
Your resolve was gone.
A couple of weeks passed by sneaking around, whenever you could the both of you would just pass that time onto each other, whether it was fucking or just passing time together, everything was far more intimate and comfortable.
He had the habit of tracing your curves or cupping your breasts, he had grown confident to barely wear clothes around you as well.
He had also gone beyond the things you taught him, he took the lead right after the second time, he had you beg underneath him but he still searched for your approval in everything he did, you couldn't help it, he was just so good for you.
But you wondered if it was simple infatuation or something that could blossom into a relationship... those questions came to a halt when it was informed to you that you were now authorized in overseas sorcerer's affairs, meaning what you and Yuta had discussed had just become true.
"You know, the moment they'll get to know about you, they'll want your head." Satoru commented as he walked next to you to the fence. It was true, Yuta was part of a clan, he was special so whatever association was to be decided by others not him, certainly not you as his former teacher, it was proably suggested someone of the Zen'in or Gojo or Kamo clan to strenghten the bloodline, not you. You were becoming an incovenience and if you didn't back off like always the elders would take matters into their hands.
"You think I don't know?" Smoke escaped from your lips, rolling your eyes at him. "He told me he did that request before we ever got involved that way."
"Do you believe him?"
"I do. " You said truthfully. "And you know, I will blame you for all of it, he wasn't supposed to be under my wing, I did it to do you a favor." You muttered, the smoke making you find some comfort outside of Yuta's arms.
"Ehhh... that's true. Never could have imagined my distant relative wanted to stuck his little dick into you."
"He's not little." He snorted, it was supposed to be a silent thought, you whined at his laughing. "Shut up. Just tell me what you wanted to say, I need to pack my things."
He sighed, hands in his pockets. "I mean, the kid is young, things can change just don't be hard on him, I'll try to cover up everything from here but I can't do more than that." He said seriously and you nodded in understanding. "And also when you come back for the holidays don't bring any mini-Yuta or mini-you." He just put his hands up at your glare. "I'm saying, if that's your dirty talk, it won't take long to come into fruition."
He was right to some extent, there wasn't a single time where Yuta had worn a condom nor indication that any of you two wanted him to, he came at least once in you every night with words that left little to nothing to the imagination, it was more of a breeding kink you both had and the fact you both looked to a future together that turned you on during sex.
"Goodbye, Satoru." You said flicking him off, throwing the cigarette away.
It was time to start packing because tomorrow Yuta and you would be traveling into a new life together as sorcerers partners for God knows how long. Just the two of you.
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cenorii · 6 days
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RE headcanons!
PART 1 (if you like it I'll make a sequel with other characters. I was just bored)
My serious headcanons about some RE characters. Some I'll write about more than others because I thought about them more often, I apologize in advance.
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Chris Redfield
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— his favorite color is green, he enjoys this color and adds it to any set of clothes, even his military gear. He doesn't care if shades of green may not match at all in the same outfit, he just wears that color because he loves it.
— his favorite genre of music in the early years, judging by his daring clothes, guitar and references to «Queen», was heavy metal and pop-rock. Nowadays, many years later, he probably likes the laid-back tunes of «Roxette» and «Savage» because Chris' life has become hectic and he needs an island of peace.
— he smokes, but he's not a heavy smoker. In his youth, Chris smoked a lot and often, judging by his concept art. Now, however, he smokes to get in the right frame of mind and pace, to focus and calm down.
— After the amnesia episode, Chris stopped drinking and now only drinks on holidays. Drinking has become disgusting to him, it reminds him of his episode of weakness.
— Chris prefers his natural scent, doesn't use any special perfume on himself because he washes with regular soap.
— he's a latent gay man, but he's never been in a relationship. Chris seriously doesn't understand why he isn't attracted to women. The last thing he thinks about is his real orientation. He's silly.
— he likes Wesker more than Chris is willing to admit. Since he doesn't realize what kind of attraction it is, Chris doesn't guess his crush. He's too inexperienced in love affairs to realize it. Especially when it comes to Wesker, who he has a ton of emotions associated with, a lot of which are negative.
— Chris has some guitar skills, but after 1998, he barely remembers it. He can't sing, he's just an amateur at it.
— he doesn't know how to cook, ordering takeaways. Chris doesn't like junk food, having given up his attempts to learn how to cook and not even opening the cookbook Claire gave him.
— Chris never has enough time to shave his face or cut his hair. But that doesn't bother him.
— he had a low grade in school, Chris liked fun more than textbooks.
Wesker
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— his favorite color is blue, but Wesker doesn't like others to know too much about it, so he adds this color to his clothes very carefully. Blue color in his clothes has never been the main color, it is only an accent.
— Wesker doesn't usually listen to music, he prefers silence, but if he had to choose, he would settle for Frank Sinatra songs. He can only listen to something that won't throw him off his thoughts.
— Wesker doesn't smoke or drink. Spencer dreamed of creating an ideal society, so he raised the Weskers as ideal people. Such people should not drink and smoke. These people should only spend time on self-development and so on.
— he doesn't swear. Wesker doesn't like and/or know how to swear because of his «proper» upbringing. He will never insult a person with a rude word, but will pick up the most innocuous one, even if he is very angry. Who shouts «self-righteous fools» or «ignorant cretins» in anger? Only the child or Wesker, because in his situation I'd be yelling «assholes», «fucking bastards» and so on. He's polite and well-mannered, just like Spencer wanted.
— he has a good sense of humor. Wesker doesn't seem like a joker because his jokes are very subtle and infrequent. He says «I have a date to keep» and then goes and destroys the Red Queen with the phrase «goodbye, fair lady», isn't he the most serious joker in fandom after that?
— Wesker is pansexual, but he doesn't care about relationships and so he, like Chris, is not even aware of his preference. He doesn't pay attention to it, so his involvement with Ms. Muller or his sudden obsession with Chris doesn't give him any reason to wonder what his orientation is. He doesn't care.
— he's in love with Chris, but he sees those feelings as a manifestation of his pride in him.
— his bathroom shelf is filled with various self-care products, and he is very worried about his appearance. First, the smell of his perfume enters the room, and then Wesker enters.
— Ms. Muller was not just a «one-night stand» for him, there was a warm relationship between them, because she remained in good opinion of him and even kept the child. This is a side of Wesker that is unknown to the players, because he had no opportunity or chance to show it. I think they broke up because Wesker was getting too attached to this woman and she was becoming his weakness, and he «can't have weaknesses». His job may have also interfered with the relationship, causing Muller to make her own decision to get out of his way, keeping the good memories alive. Wesker, on the other hand, tried to forget about that pleasant time with her so it wouldn't interfere with him.
— he is not ashamed to recognize someone else's merits and praise another person. He appreciates people who are good at something, he is sincere about it.
— Wesker is not a villain and an antagonist, he is the anti-villain. He has all the personality traits that fit that definition. He is not the pure evil that many believe him to be due to their inattention.
— he can cook, and he does it well. Wesker is known for being great at everything and cooking is no exception. Back in the days of S.T.A.R.S., he took care of his healthy diet, but once he gained power and became a bioterrorist, he stopped cooking for himself, preferring to order food from restaurants or have a personal chef. Because of the virus, he doesn't need to eat as often as normal people, so he really enjoys the process, since it rarely happens.
— because of his principles or Spencer's upbringing, Wesker can't directly harm a child. Children have never been a target for him, and he considers it beneath his dignity.
— his name is a mononym. Wesker doesn't call himself Albert and doesn't like it when others do (but doesn't stop them out of politeness). He is Wesker to everyone and to himself. However, there is a contradiction here — he hates the word «Wesker» and this whole project. Surely he must have considered changing his name if he had achieved the evolution of humanity. He still uses his initials AW when necessary.
Leon S Kennedy
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— Leon has no color preference, he wears whatever clothes he feels comfortable in. He doesn't care if the colors don't match.
— he loves children and is easy to get along with.
— he uses feminine shower gels and likes sweet scents.
— likes to drink to relax or for any other reason. But he doesn't smoke.
— the music that Leon likes is very hard to define. He is probably a music lover who listens to whatever he likes.
— Leon isn't shy about swearing. He likes to make silly jokes to lighten the mood.
— He knows how to cook, but not very well, but these skills are enough for him. Leon can make toast or fry eggs, but it would be difficult for him to cook something more complicated, so he often watches tutorials on the Internet or eats fast food.
— Leon is bisexual and he knows it. He's crazy about Ada Wong, but he tries to hide it, which is unsuccessful.
— he likes karaoke.
— it annoyed him that if he showed up in any kind of transportation, there was a high probability of an accident or something. He sometimes wondered if he was a loser.
— he had a girlfriend once, but the affair was so casual that it broke up after almost a month.
— In school he had average grades, Leon could not be called a bad student, but he was not an excellent student either.
Ada Wong
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— her favorite color is not only red, but also black.
— she loves elegant clothes and doesn't care if they don't fit her work. Despite the design, Ada chooses only clothes in which she can move freely.
— only Wesker knows her real name, and her name «Ada Wong» is just a rehash of «AW» (Albert Wesker).
— I like to think that she and Wesker could have acted like best friends, but voluntarily opted out for personal reasons.
— Ada pretends not to like music, but she actually likes «Marina and the Diamonds». She listens to these songs alone, in a deserted place.
— she smoked once, but she quit. She doesn't drink.
— Ada doesn't have any holidays, she doesn't even celebrate her own birthday.
— she's straight, and she's openly attracted to Leon.
— loves subtle scents in perfume, she always smells nice, but this scent is barely perceptible.
— Ada can't cook and hasn't tried to learn. She eats food from cafes and prefers to go there herself instead of having it delivered.
— She has no problem with foreign languages, she probably knows a few besides English.
— she was an honors student in school and she's easy to learn new things.
— Ada is an anti-hero.
Alex Wesker
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— Alex's favorite color is white. It is the color of sterility and truth that she strives for in her research.
— I guess her full name is Alexandra.
— loves getting her nails done to cheer herself up. Due to illness and failed experiments, she is always in a bad mood, so taking care of herself helps her keep her head cool and rational.
— Alex loved her own short hair, which she had in the past, but it reminded her too much of Albert, whom she respected. Because of what she knew about «Project W» and the truth about them, Alex felt a kind of guilt for keeping her brother in the dark and lying. So she changed her image so she wouldn't think about it.
— she's a lesbian.
— Alex knows Russian.
— she must have a secret altar in her house dedicated to Albert.
— she respects Albert so much that she even tries to think and act like him. It is forbidden to insult her brother in her presence, even though they have hardly ever met and are not related.
— Alex did grieve when she learned of her brother's death in the volcano. But when she learned of his death in 1998, she was not sad, because she had not yet had time to get to know him so well and get into his personality.
— the clothes Alex wears are formal and office style. She doesn't like to wear something informal because she feels insecure in it.
— the mole under her eye is painted, or appeared there with age.
— Alex likes only classical music, her ear cannot perceive anything from modern genres.
— Has never thought about relationships, but can admit if she likes someone.
— Alex's only humor is black.
— often communicates with quotes from books, like someone quotes from songs. This helps her to express her thoughts properly and emphasize them.
— she's a lot harder to piss off than Albert.
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punkeropercyjackson · 27 days
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Okay so tbh i don't really feel like doing an essay on fanon Jason Todd vs canon Jason Todd so i'll just do a tldr in bulleted points and if anybody dosen't get what i mean,just politely ask for an explanation and i will gladly awnser /gen
Jason Todd is not:
Misunderstood
A softboy
A perfect older brother
A nepotism baby
A horndog,a frequent drinker or a smoker
A believer and enforcer of gender norms
The protagonist of a predomenantly white male cast
A fucking switfie
Jason Todd IS:
A reformed slasher who's still not an ideallic hero but nonetheless has good intentions
A fucking asshole with major issues despite his kind heart and Robin!Jason's softness was lost upon his death is kinda half the point of his character
A bully to Tim pre-redemption and Duke's the only Batboy he's ALWAYS treated well
An ex-poor kid who refuses to live with his rich adoptive dad again on principal
An avoider of vices as a trauma coping mechanism
A goth who tries to act untouchable not out fragile masculinity but as another trauma coping mechanism and actively finds badass and 'weird' women gnc or not admirable and even hot
The token white boy in his own story since his supporting cast when he's the mc are Dick,Talia,Rose,Artemis,Duke,Dana,Stephanie and Damian
A Shakespeare nerd and gamer
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earlofbats · 10 months
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Okay so because this post about Harry being a bottom I'm going to give a genuine dissertation on the thematic relevance of sub Harry and maybe a little bit about dom Kim.
First I wanna establish the "Harry is definitely a subby little bottom boy" and is also definitely Bi and probably has some sorta fucking complex about it.
Evidence A. Contact Mike, Guillaume Le Million, Measurehead (when fascist).
Harry tends to idolize and gravitate towards extremely masculine figures.
This is probably due to a reflexive need to feel masculine and have masculine role models in the face of elements of identity that are seen as unmasculine by society and have become exacerbated by the breakup which had to be pretty emasculating for Harry.
Also :
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Imma start a Harry's Kink counter here +1 light bondage.
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+1 auto-erotic asphyxiation.
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Uhm +1 uhh,Spanking? Additional +1 for being what I think is most possibly the horniest thought you have in the game also:
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+1 Kim is a Dom.
I think Harry has kept his attraction to men or his desires about men fairly low key for his entire life. The way he conceptualizes Homosexuality in general as an "underground" society filled with whispering rooms and forbidden secrets is likely more of a reflection of how Harry views his own sexuality than how Queer culture is manifest in Revachol. (In reference to the way both Kim and The Smoker kinda laugh Harry about it)
The organizational element of the idea being likely reflective of the way internalization is akin to paranoia.
Harry is also extremely intimacy starved and I think part of that is due to an unmet need for affection and the desire to be taken care of. That masculinity and status as both a survivor and an oppressor was sorta thrust onto Harry, he was born the last year of the war on a hospital floor, given a name associated with war time and survival, grew up probably in a little street urchin gang, got into *Disco* (man I'm sure Harry brushed elbows with the underground then.) Was a gym teacher a good balance between masculinity and caretaker and guardian something that harry clearly excels at and enjoys. Then Dora encouraged him to be a cop for unknown reasons perhaps prestige, money, because Harry has a bleeding heart.
Engage Heterosexual Cop hell for 12 years then an additional 6 single Cop hell years.
And now you're like :
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Another element is Harry's tendency to worship and diefy his partners which like man that's gotta be the subbiest fucking thing you can do. I honestly can't articulate all of the reasons why that's just extreme bottom behavior.
Harry is an empathic jelly creature who is forced to handle a job with dead people in it all day and has created this reflexive hyper masculine obsession to compensate for his perceived inadequacy in not living up to the patriarchal capitalist ideal of what's supposed to be his birthright as a well off, able bodied, 'straight', occidental, man.
Except the actual issue is that Harry is mostly perceived or perceiving himself as that, when in reality he's in clear conflict with his actual identity as a Poor, mentally Ill, bisexual, occidental, man.
And it's those last two that end up kind of making this smoke screen to Harrys deficiency in privilege. He can mask or hide behind being an Occidental Man.
Can buddy buddy with patriarchy and take up the idea of a Big Strong Manly Cop.
Something that Kim also seems to be doing by seeking out positions of authority he can compensate for the disrespect he gets as a Poor, blind, gay, seolite, man.
Last of which probably won't get him far because of how "juvenile" his body type is.
Kim can't really coast on patriarchy much the way Harry can. He has to work twice as hard cuz there's not a lot he can hide behind.
Pursuit for control in the face of denial
Vs
Shielding ones self behind control as a means of denial.
Dom/Sub dichotomy.
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lokisprettygirl · 9 months
Text
Brokenhearted (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern AU) (18+)
Read Chapter 6 here // Series Masterlist
Chapter 7
Summary: A missed period causes Daemon to snap at you again.
Warning: 18+, Smut, sex, Reader has a personality, Discussion of mensuration and Pregnancy, arguments and angst, flashbacks of abusive relationship, sexual abuse, traumatic distressing content, Daemon is a big time smoker so if it’s something triggering don’t read it, he’s not the best boyfriend, alcohol drinking, mention of past trauma and therapy, cigarette smoking, possessive behaviour, some violence, baby needs therapy, baby is trying
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"You were famous" you mumbled softly as you went through the pictures on his phone. It was Sunday and you shared your day off with him so you both were in the bed just relaxing for once, you were sprawled out on your front as you scrolled through the images on his phone from the time he used to fight professionally.
He had saved some memories from the past, moments that he still cherished. His mouth curved into a smile as you said that and he pushed himself up on his elbow to kiss your cheek, you tilted your head so his mouth trailed down over the length of your neck.
"I wasn't actually that popular, just known amongst the people who watch the sport" he mumbled so you hummed in agreement.
"Have you ever been with a woman that knew you?"
"Are you asking me if I have fucked a woman that knew who I was?"
"Yeahhhh?"
"I have..once or twice" you nodded as he said that and pecked him on the lips.
It's been two weeks since his birthday party and the opportunity that was presented to him by the chairman of UFC federation and you were trying to make him open up to you about why he didn't want to fight anymore.
"Don't you miss it?" You asked him so he chuckled,
"Fucking other women? No ..you wear me out enough darling " he said playfully and it made you smile,
"I know I do but i was referring to your fighting days. Don't you miss being in the ring?" He averted his gaze and shrugged as you questioned him,
"Noo" he mumbled before he laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling.
"Okay" you got on top of him but he immediately flipped you underneath him, he still had an issue with you being on top of him and you didn't really mind, you wanted to give him all the time he needed.
"Did you always aspire to be a chef?" He asked you so you nodded.
"Mostly yeah, a part of me did"
"And what about your ideal mate? I'm sure I'm not the type you must have imagined for yourself" He smirked as he questioned you.
"Not the type? You mean tall, sexy and handsome type?" You chuckled so he shook his head and kissed you, his fingers hooked around the waistband of your underwear and he lowered them down.
"The fucked up and damaged type"
"You're not damaged baby..and we are all fucked up in one way or another" you mumbled softly as your fingers caressed his scalp,
"Whatever helps you sleep at night" he snickered as he pushed his cock inside you slowly, you winced a little so he looked at you,
"Something wrong?" He pulled out of you so you squeezed your eyes.
"No it's just my tummy, I should have gotten my period like ten days ago and I still don't have it" you answered calmly but you noticed the immediate change in his demeanor, he took his cock out, buttoned up his pants and got off the bed to stare at you.
You felt awkward now so you sat up and fixed your clothes as well, you knew you had said something wrong because he had that typical look of panic on his face.
"Dae?"
"How …come?..Why..why why are you missing your periods? I thought you were on pills? Are you not?" He asked hurriedly.
"I am.. of course I am..it's just.."
"Just what then? You think you're pregnant somehow even though you were popping your pills?" He raised his voice a little and your eyes teared up,
"Daemon calm down please ..I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant "
"Oh you're sure? Well if you're sure then I should just believe you right?" He snickered as he crossed his arms.
You fell silent for a moment because you didn't want to escalate this argument further, he usually calmed down after a few moments of outburst but this time he seemed particularly triggered.
"Are you fucking someone else? because this child in you can't be mine" Your mouth opened in shock at his words, you glared at him as he said that and immediately got off the bed to storm out of his room,
"Where the fuck you're going huh?" He asked you as he followed you.
"Talk to me when you are willing to listen okay?" You said to him as you grabbed your bag and stormed out of the main doorway, you heard the sound of something breaking inside as you waited for the elevator but you didn't want to go in there right now and deal with him.
You didn't want to leave him when he was obviously hurting but you had a feeling that he would say things in anger that would hurt you deeply and things he'd most definitely regret later.
On the way to your apartment you bought a pregnancy test kit, just in case, you were pretty sure you weren't pregnant but a test would remove those lingering doubts you had in your head now. You had no idea what you'd do if you were indeed pregnant, you didn't want a child at this stage in your life.
And the way Daemon had reacted you feared that he won't be there for you if you were expecting his child.
As soon as you were inside the apartment you took the test and those two minutes where you had to wait to watch the stick turn either blue or pink felt like hell. It wasn't unusual for you to have your periods late this way but you have never been this sexually active before in your life. Both of you got sexually intimate everytime he was around you.
As you watched the stick turn negative you breathed a sigh of relief, you took the test again just to be sure and it turned up negative again.
You checked your phone to see if he had called or texted but your heart sank at the nothingness. A lump formed in your throat as you tried to hold back your tears but failed miserably, he had told you that he wouldn't be the perfect guy for you and in moments like these he really wasn't but you didn't want his trauma to taint your relationship with him.
You didn't want to believe that he'd just abandon you if you were indeed pregnant. He was a good man and he wouldn't just abandon you like that. You wanted to keep your faith in him until he'd prove you otherwise..
Around ten at night he finally came to see you and as you opened the door he stared at you for a moment before he stepped inside your apartment. He had a small pharmacy bag in his hand that he passed to you,
"Take the test" he told you sternly.
"Daemon i have–" before you could even speak he had cut you off,
"Take it, please" his voice softened this time so you sighed and took the bag from him.
"Should have used the fucking condom" he mumbled under his breath and you bit on your cheek to calm down because you were starting to feel really frustrated by his behaviour.
"What if I'm pregnant? What are you gonna do?" You crossed your arms as you questioned him.
"Well first of all I'd like to know why and how? Aren't those pills hundred percent effective?" He questioned like a jerk.
"Ninety nine" you mumbled meekly
"Whatever..If you are really taking them everyday then you shouldn't be pregnant, isn't that right?" He raised his brows and you nodded before you chuckled,
"But what if I am, hypothetically What if I am pregnant and for the sake of our relationship let's just assume that I'm not a fucking whore that's whoring around and the child is yourssss ..what then?"
You raised your voice and he opened his mouth to say something but then the look on your face broke his heart. He already knew that he never deserved a woman like you in his life especially considering how awfully he treated you at times but moments like these really shook him up, he always projected his issues on you when you didn't deserve it at all. Maybe you were pregnant and if you were it wouldn't just be your fault or your responsibility to bear alone.
He was just scared after what had happened last time, he always lived in fear. Even though he was meticulous about it and always asked you if you were taking your pills, he wasn't as careful about the precautions as he had been in the past.
He walked towards you and you took a step back so he walked closer to you again and placed his arms around your body.
"If you're pregnant then the baby is mine, I know that. I'm so sorry about what I had said earlier, I regretted it as soon as it left my mouth. Can you forgive me darling please?" He asked you softly as he made you look up at him, you were still upset but you didn't want to stretch the issue knowing that he was clearly feeling triggered by a memory.
"Are you going to leave if I'm pregnant?" You asked him so he placed his forehead down on yours.
"No, never, I'm sorry my words made you feel that way. I am just not ready for a child but I'd never abandon you I promise" he assured you, he had no intentions of leaving the woman that was willing to stand by him through his bad and worse.
"I'm not either" a part of him felt relieved as you said that.
"Okay, then we will deal with it if it comes to that, for now I just want you to take the test for me ..so can you please do that?" His voice had a pleading tone to it as compared to before.
"I have already done it twice, i am not pregnant" he pulled away as you said that, saying that he was relieved would have been an understatement.
"You're not?"
"Nooo.. I don't know why my period is late but I know I'll have it sooner or later" he sighed as you said that.
Now he felt even worse about the outburst he had. He stepped away from you and leaned against the back of the couch in your living room.
"I don't deserve you darling" he looked down as he said that.
"Don't say that..Is there a reason why you freaked out other than not wanting a child?"
You asked him and he felt as if the ground has been pulled from underneath him and swallowed him whole,
"I'm pregnant" she said to him as she placed the stick down in front of him at the dinner table and it most surely was positive. He stood up immediately, his appetite was gone.
"How did it happen?" He asked her as he grabbed the stick to inspect it.
"Do I need to tell you how babies are made you jerk?" She got upset so he took a deep breath,
"Noo i…i meant we were using condoms and you're on pills so...I"
"Are you telling me that it's my fault?" She glared at him. He wasn't ready for a baby, he was just twenty four and the international fight week was just right around the corner, he had been training so hard for the tournament and he didn't want to get distracted. But as much as he didn't want it, that was his child in her womb and he wasn't the type of man to abandon someone like that.
"I'm not saying it's your fault.. I'm just confused is all ..did you see a doctor?" He asked her softly as walked closer to her and bent down to her level to talk to her, she glared at him before she slapped him hard.
"That's for questioning me" he was so used to them that he didn't even flinch and he wasn't surprised when she kissed him roughly after that, that was all she did to him, she'd hurt him and then love him, the cycle never stopped.
"We are going to be parents and I need you by my side alright?" She said to him so he nodded.
Later on he had discovered that she did it on purpose, she was poking holes in the condom and she had stopped taking her pills so he won't be able to get away from her for this tournament but he did it anyways and that's where it all went down for him. That's when his life changed forever.
..
"Daemon?" He heard your voice so he snapped out of his thoughts,
"Can you hold me?" He asked you softly so you immediately walked towards him and your arms wrapped around his neck, you knew his outburst had everything to do with none other than the thorn in his past- Samantha.
Over the course of four years of their relationship she had ruined him slowly, the biggest regret he had was that he didn't fight back until it was too late.
A part of him always wanted to hold on to her because he wanted to believe in the love he had for her, he wanted that woman back that he had fallen in love with, she was a completely different person when they had first met.
She was kind, so caring, she always looked after him so later on when she changed so drastically he often felt as if he was the one to blame for it, that he was the one to change her and that's exactly why he never stopped her from doing whatever she wanted, she made him believe that he deserved it for what he had done to her, that he was the reason she had turned into a monster.
"I don't want to punish you for her wrongdoings but I keep doing it, are you sure you don't want to get out of this mess?" He asked you so you pulled away to look at him.
"Daemon if I wanted to leave I'd have left already, if I didn't care about you then I never would have gotten myself in this relationship, I'd never ever want to hurt you but I'm only human and I'm going to make mistakes" you told him honestly and he nuzzled his face between your neck, his fingers traced circles on your waist.
"You never hurt me, I get hurt by my own fears and insecurities and then I take them out on you. I just need you to know that you're very important to me and I don't want to lose you" He whispered, his voice filled with tenderness.
"Let's just forget about it, okay? I'm not upset with you"
"You should be"
"But I'm not"
"That's because you're an angel, my very own Angel who is determined to stand by me no matter what" you smiled as he said that,
He was never overly sentimental but once in a while he would say a few words that left you feeling giddy and gave you all the butterflies. You caressed his scalp gently before you kissed his forehead and then his lips softly, in moments like these he could clearly see how different you were from her, how tenderly you treated him even though he gave you several reasons to get upset and hurt him.
"Is there any chance you'd want to have sex with this angel before she actually gets her period?" You bit on your lips and it made him smile, he grabbed your chin and kissed you before he picked you up, instead of taking you to your bedroom he took you to the couch instead and laid you down. You kept your eyes on him as he took his jacket off and then his shirt followed, you couldn't hide your lustful gaze as he pulled his zipper down.
He crawled on top of you and undressed you quickly as if he couldn't wait any longer.
"Do I need to worry about your health? Why aren't you getting your periods if you're not heavy with my child?"
He questioned as he pushed himself inside slowly, the way he always wanted to discuss important matters during sex intrigued you and frustrated you at the same time.
"I uhhhh god..okay…I don't know but it's nothing new, probably just hormonal" you mumbled so he nodded, a hint of smirk formed on his face at the sight of you, he thrusted in and out of you slowly until you were melting underneath him.
His breath hitched in his chest as you caressed his scars with your fingertips, the old Daemon would have swatted your hands away quickly but this new in love Daemon allowed himself to enjoy the touch, your touch always felt soothing to him and that's why he was so afraid of you at first, he didn't want to get used to this, he always feared you'd change into her as soon as he'd show you his vulnerability.
"Cigarette?" You asked him post coitus and he thought about it for a moment before he got up and picked you up to take you to the bedroom. He sat you down on the bed and stared at you briefly,
"What do you want, baby?" You asked him as you grabbed his hand in yours and pulled him on the bed,
"Can you just..just lay with me?" There was a hesitation in his voice as he laid down next to you, he had no idea that you'd give him the whole world if he'd ask you so sweetly.
"I'm here" he closed his eyes as you caressed his prominent cheekbone with your fingers. After a moment of quiet you finally spoke,
"You should fight again" his eyes opened again as you said that. He had a habit of discussing important matters during sex and you had the habit of doing it post sex.
"I do fight, everyday"
"You know what I mean"
"I can't, i can't do it again, it's too late" he sighed and he was hoping you'd let it go but you were as stubborn as he was.
"It's not, it's not too late, i have seen you fight, you're different from those other guys, you train them to perfection and yet they're never able to defeat you"
He let out a deep sigh as you said that. He can't fight, just being in front of the crowd felt unimaginable to him..
"You can do anything you want dae, I believe in you"
You mumbled softly just to put the thought in his head.
You had found a video of him on YouTube a few days ago, from his last ever professional fight, it was the first match of his qualifier round for the international UFC week, he was doing good, he was easily winning but something bad had happened between the second and third set.
The fiery passionate man that had won the second round didn't return for the third, he was there in presence but his mind seemed distracted, he seemed hurt and scared and then he was beaten to pulp until he finally gave up.
Everyone in the crowd was shocked, his supporters were disappointed in him, nobody knew what went wrong, some also felt that he lost on purpose because he was paid in hefty from the opposition.
So many accusations were thrown at him but nobody knew the actual truth.
You didn't either but deep down you had a sneaking suspicion that his loss that night was because of Samantha, she was his curse and she never wanted to see him succeed, she always wanted to keep him caged and closer to her, she hated the attention he had on him and how she was slowly losing him from her tight grasp, this tournament would have changed his life in every possible way and perhaps she couldn't take it so she did something to ruin it all for him..
You didn't know the truth but you had a feeling you would find out soon.
"One Chicken Caesar Salad with croutons on top and dressing on the side, table 9" Claire put the order on the tab so you quickly prepared it and sent it out. Daemon would be there soon to pick you up, you were almost at the end of your shift. The head chef was on vacation so you were handling everything by yourself and you just wanted to go home with him. However Claire returned soon after and told you that the customer wanted to compliment the chef so you made your way outside to meet her.
As you approached the table every hair on your neck stood up, it wasn't just any random customer, it was her -Samantha.
You recognised that creepy smile she had on her face, before you could say anything you noticed her attention diverting towards the door so you turned around and it was Daemon.
For Seven years he had been running away from his past and the dreams he once treasured so deeply, he was running from that toxic woman but his past had finally caught up to him.
He stood there shellshocked as he came face to face with the woman that had destroyed everything about him that made him so uniquely him.
She broke his heart and took away his every reason to smile. She crushed his spirit and now as she found out that he was finally moving on in his life with you, she had returned to remind him why he'd never escape her.
❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Taglist (please check your setting if I’m not able to tag you)
@simbaaas-stuff @ajthefujoshi @witchybitch2 @hypocritic-trash-baby @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @thefallenangel21n @kmc1989
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play-now-my-lord · 1 year
Text
new art project anyone can do
"The Turd Smoker" INSTRUCTIONS: - steal or purchase one bottle liquid smoke. 3 oz (~90mL) minimum, 16 oz (~470mL) maximum - find a public or private facility with a gender-neutral restroom with a working toilet on which the lid of the cistern can be removed without tools. the ideal toilet will be used daily, but not frequently, maybe one to three visitors per hour - open toilet cistern - empty bottle of liquid smoke into cistern in its entirety - close toilet cistern - take bottle with you, dispose of it as you see fit outside of the premises WHAT IT MEANS "The Turd Smoker" combines one of humanity's oldest forms of preservation of material goods with the single aspect of human life that is least valued by most societies. It is an invitation to contemplate the relationship between food, poop, and eternity. Probably it will also make the toilet smell like a campfire, which will prove unsettling unless the end-user is in the habit of taking a shit directly onto a campfire
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femmefatalevibe · 11 months
Text
Femme Fatale Playbook: How To Thrive In Your Single Era Without Losing Your Mind
For the "hopeless romantic" types or individuals who crave intimate romantic relationships, here are some tips to make the most of your singlehood while setting yourself up for a successful new partnership.
Leverage other outlets to satisfy your needs for emotional and sexual connection:
Invest in your friendships to get that emotional intimacy you crave. Platonic relationships can offer as much depth on an emotional and intellectual level as a romantic partner. Plus, you are more likely to have multiple friends vs. multiple partners, which allows you to engage in different types of conversations, learn about a diverse array of subjects, try out more activities, and appreciate different senses of humor/personalities along the way.
Embrace your single era to further explore your sexuality on your own terms. Try out different toys, entertain yourself with erotic novels, films, and podcasts, invest in hot lingerie or sensual perfumes/beauty and skin products, and educate yourself with books like Come As You Are, She Comes First, Yes Means Yes! and essays on female sexuality. The Quinn app is also a great example of ethical porn made by women, for women. Give yourself some alone time to get real with yourself about your likes, dislikes, fantasies, and hard nos. These self-love practices will allow you confidently and clearly ask for what you want once you find a lover you deem worthy of sharing these intimate experiences with you.
Take time for self-reflection and discover your "ideal type." Create a partner compatibility blueprint and non-negotiables checklist:
Being truly single provides you the time and space to truly get to know yourself. Give yourself the gift of introspection – consider your current lifestyle, interests, habits, values, daily routine, and any ways you plan on changing or evolving these aspects of your life over the next few years. Consider the qualities you like about yourself and those you admire in others (friends, family, coworkers, fellow students, mentors, etc.).
Complete a self-intake to reveal the qualities that would demonstrate compatibility in a partner. Clarify the personality traits, values, and lifestyle habits you look for in a partner. Then, consider your physical type and any other more surface-level qualities you look for in a partner (e.g. a certain level of education, upbringing, languages spoken, profession, morning or night person, any dietary or fitness habits, etc.) to construct your ideal type(s). While you may not ultimately end up with a partner that 100% fits into one of these personas, knowing what you're looking for helps you know what you don't and streamline your vetting process
Use this information to create a "non-negotiables" list to help you easily detect whether someone will be compatible with you from early conversations or, at the latest, after 1-2 dates. These qualities will be very personal due to our own beliefs, lifestyle, and goals – know if something like someone being a smoker, having certain family obligations, dietary restrictions, or having certain political/religious beliefs would be a dealbreaker for you.
Consider dating as a networking tool. Live your life and allow potential partners to enter your purview organically:
Do not make dating into a mission-based, isolated pursuit. Reframe dating as an organic evolution of your social life, leisure activities, and time used to explore your interests. Go out to bars, lounges, coffee shops, and parks. Join activities, social clubs, and interest-based meetup activities (book clubs, sports clubs like a tennis club, and art gallery memberships are great options as well). Take classes based on your interests – like a cooking class, language class, art class, writing class, coding class, etc. and be open to mingling. Having a shared interest is the first step to lifestyle compatibility with a partner.
Be open to accepting invitations to group dinners, hangouts, dinner parties, cocktail events/happy hours, beach days, etc. These social outings are a great way to connect with friends of friends that you probably wouldn't meet out in the wild but are more trustworthy (and are more likely to share compatible attitudes or lifestyle habits) due to your mutual connections.
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onepiece-polls · 9 months
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One Piece Shipping War - Round 2 Side B
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Propaganda under the cut.
Propaganda for Smoker x Law:
Their interactions on punk hazard are just hhhhnnnggghhhh. First they fight against each other and then they have to team up! The sexual tension is through the roof 👀 and they fight so well together too 👀 also law LITERALLY stole smoker's heart?? Sorry for being incoherent that's just what they do to me
I read it in a fic and it was compelling also it would be cool if they both knew rocinante
Law literally stole Smoker’s heart during the Punk Hazard Arc - they saved each other during the Punk Hazard Arc even if they were enemies - classic “Enemies to lovers” energy - perfect matching personalities (INTP x INTJ) - the thrill of a forbidden love between a marine and a pirate.
They have. SUCH a divorcee dynamic listen. - Law literally stole Smoker’s heart in the Punk Hazard arc. - Even though they were enemies, Smoker fought against Vergo and stole Law’s heart to give it back to him, hurting himself A LOT. - at the same time, Law saved Smoker from Vergo and gave Smoker’s heart back even if he didn’t have to. - the way Law smiles when fighting against him and getting on Smoker’s nerves (a lot of tension here hehe). - Smoker’s a marine and Law a pirate, what’s better than a forbidden relationship? - their personalities match perfectly (INTJ and INTP).
SUCH a divorcee dynamic. - we all love a forbidden romance between marine and pirate - the way they interact with each other on Punk Hazard is at the same time easy but full of tension, they clearly have some familiarity w each other - ...and then later they manage to work together seamlessly despite those tensions and differences, and Smoker trusts Law to pick up the slack where he can't. And Law DOES follow through - after the battle Law TELLS Smoker what he's planning next - yeah it's all purposeful for his plans but it's such a clear and obvious manipulation. And yet Smoker does exactly that. - the guy sent to Dressrosa is Issho (which ok Sakazuki says he sent BUT what a funny coincidence still that it's the one guy who's most likely to help Law rather than hinder hmmmm) - when Doffy shows up after Law&co have left and demands to know things Smoker just straight up stonewalls him and lies to his face, with the full knowledge that it may cost him his life. Which yeah, Smoker hates pirates, but he doesn't actually have any reason to do that - if he really didn't care he wouldn't mind siccing the two warlords on each other and watching them destroy themselves so he at the very least must agree with Law if not outright want to help him - delicious narrative parallels! Bc fundamentally they're two sides of the same coin: both are absolutely driven by their personal moral codes and care DEEPLY about people and things. Law may be driven largely by more self-centered goals and focus his good on the smaller circle he chooses to surround himself with, while Smoker is drawn to more lofty pursuits of greater good and helping even those he will never meet or even know of, but at the core they share very similar ideals and values - and ykno. Law LITERALLY punches Smoker's heart out of his chest - also Law is a scrawny-ass twink and you cannot tell me he doesn't have a thing for buff dilfs who could bench press double his weight.
Propaganda for Law x Robin:
Their intelligent goth energy combined would be off the charts
Their backstories parallel each other perfectly! Home destroyed, hunted from a young age saved by a kind marine. Spoilers ahead: They're working together to figure out what the history of the Will of D is, and what happened in the void century! She was the only person Law trusted enough to reveal his middle initial! Also, they could do horrible things together if they decided to use their devil fruits as a team. So many limbs in places they shouldn't be.
Smart, sexy, sleek, intelligent, empathetic, humorous, *might get flustered on occasion*, hobbies: riling up Usopp. Terrific and morbid sense of humour. Just *get* one another. Very close to one another in both age and height!
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