#idk I have a lot of feels about that too

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[lilaccatholic]

Complex feelings about copyright and Disney's appalling ethics aside, it does unsettle me how quickly people jump to make and monetize the most unnerving, depraved content imaginable about characters created for children the second it hits the public domain

#lilac rambles #lilac goes to the movies #look you don't have to defend yourselves to me i don't really care what you do #so please don't flood my inbox with all this stuff about why disney sucks and why gross stuff is good actually #im not here to fight #i get it. they suck and this feels vindicating #i just get unnerved watching people do terrible things to things created for children the second they can #maybe it's bc i don't see anyone making anything...idk...nice? and like...not freaky? #like it really feels like 'haha we're going to defile this creation bc it makes us feel good to destroy something created for families' #bc if it had just been the case with mickey id get it yknow #but people did this with sweet old pooh bear too #but maybe that's bc he's now a disney property idk #like maybe as other famous characters come into the public domain people won't do the same things #and honestly that will make me feel a lot better

[royalarchivist]

Phil: Doin' a lot of traveling around the New Years. Oh boy, oof. Oh golly, oh gee. But it should be worth it! It should be really good. I'm looking forward to it, Kristin's looking forward to it.

Random Chatter: What about Tallulah and Chayanne?

Phil: I told them already what's going on. I already told them. They already know when I'm getting back and all that stuff, so.

Random Chatter: The cookies though?

Phil: [Shrugs] So? I'm... physically not here? [Laughs] There's more things - there's more important things in life than feeding a virtual egg cookies, I'm sorry to say, dude. [Laughs]

Random Chatter: Get Tubbo to feed eggs cookies.

Phil: [Laughs and mimics the chatter in an annoying voice] "Get this person!" "Get that person!" ALSO IGNORING THOSE PEOPLE ALSO HAVE LIVES! Jesus Christ. That says a lot about what you think of your streamer. Oh my god, dude. Let them have a fcking week off man! Let the Eggs have a week off, you kidding me? They're people, too, they're admins!

Random Chatter: The eggs need to live.

Phil: They do! By having a week off! [Laughs] Leave them alone! Holy fck! Good lord... If I- if- Dude. If anyone in my chat is genuinely like gonna come into stream, and like - be pissed off that different members of QSMP are just not logging in, I'm banning you on the spot, 'cuz that is so fcking toxically online of you. That is SO chronically online of you. You need to take a break, and I'm giving you that break. I'm forcing you to take a break from your PC. Fckin' get up from the - look away from the screen.

#Philza #Phil #QSMP #For real though it's WILD that some people genuinely have that mentality #People forget that the ccs need breaks and so do the Eggs! #many of whom are in college #and hell even if they weren't #they still need a break! #Plus it's the holidays #Context for this conversation in case it wasn't clear: Phil was talking about leaving for the holidays and said others will be too #and some random chatters got annoying spamming about the Eggs and saying they'll die #I didn't catch this live but I'm watching the VOD #Idk. QSMP is almost a year old and people still get worried about the same stupid stuff #''The eggs are gonna die! No one will take care of this specific Egg unless I spam their name in chat 100000 times!'' #''Nobody cares about my fave and clearly I know better than actual members of the server'' #Like. c'mon man be serious #Everyone loves the Eggs #I feel like a lot of fans really do need to unplug and remember that it's not that serious #and this is coming from someone who bawled their eyes out at Bobby's death #real ass people's lives matter more. Let them take a break #Q's said so many times that they Eggs matter and he wouldn't just kill them all off for the hell of it #anyhoo #December 25 2023 #Q #Subtitles #Edited

[strawberrystepmom]

okay so i do have a question for everyone and it's do you think that the smut you write directly reflects your own personal sexual tastes and interests or do you change what you write a little bit to make it more palatable for bigger audiences?

#im only asking bc i rly thought about it the other day and tbh as far as kinks go i rly do not write about a lot of mine bc i feel like #they have a lot of responsibility in how they're written bc they are not like super kinky or weird #but things like restraints #and heavy dom sub dynamics i feel are better written by someone else #like dont get me wrong i love missionary i love the stuff i write about too #but like my heavier kinks idk i dont always feel comfortable writing about them but i feel like that's just me

[dumb-doll-lips]

Maybe controversial, but on posts about being dumb where girls are like saying ‘but I’m actually smart.’ Like tbh, I don’t really believe them. Like if you’re smart why does feeling dumb feel so good or hot or whatever to you then? I kinda feel like it’s having an excuse to let go of trying as much as you would be when you’re saying your smart. If you’re like really actually smart, I don’t feel like a break from ‘being smart’ would be such a relief or like as appealing.

#if you’re on my blog much may have noticed I’m just having a lot of feelings about this more lately #like it’s okay to not be smart #you can be happier #and like I feel like I sometimes get people who try to call me smart #like there’s diff skill sets #I think I’m still pretty good at soft skills and like makeup stuff #but like I regularly can’t get left and right right or name all the months and so on for lots of things #idk. I feel like dumb doesn’t mean you’re horrible at everything #like you still have value and can make a positive impact but just in different ways #I’m a soo much happier when at work I’m more focused on being someone others really like to work w than like being efficient at my job #and honestly seems like people prefer that #I have too many thoughts about at this lately #really hoping throughing them into the intenrwbt even if it’s more in tags gets out of my head more #personal #also very much not at a 100 notes but for a text post from me it’s impressive so… #100+ #little thoughts

[messyhairdiaz]

It really does make me wonder what else has been shot down by Fox. Because buddie is obviously the thing that we’re more able to clearly connect dots on even before Oliver started saying anything about any of it, but you know it’s not the only thing, we just don’t have the threads to pull on for anything else

#I have this theory that is less a theory and more a feeling #because it has no basis outside my own impossible to pin down vibes #but it makes me wonder about Maddie and Chim #both as their own characters and a couple #idk maybe it’s the way that Maddie was often So isolated as a character outside of Chim and Buck and only occasionally Athena #maybe it’s the way Chim keeps getting put through the wringer without very much acknowledgement #not that I think every incident any of them has needs a trauma arc #but it gets brushed off. a lot #maybe it’s even the way we had that couples therapy line in the 6.01 synopsis that just never happened #I don’t know! like I said it’s vibes but I would love to know if there was meddling there as well #and also with anyone else too of course

[kinokoshoujoart]

oops all rock (springtime edition)

i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…

could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)

#my art #sos awl #debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff #or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs #i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know #and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love #rock tumbling (sos) #story of seasons a wonderful life #bokumono #story of seasons #harvest moon #hm awl #harvest moon a wonderful life #bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too #there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them #but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK…… #idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!! #fanart #awl rock #bokujou monogatari #hm anwl #unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry…….. #also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool… #ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted #mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters #OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING #i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version #and also fun secret things related to DS #this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu…. #i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[ctrl-lupin]

Goemon is terrifying

#i don't say that often but TWCFM managed to make him look genuinely scary #this series struck a very good balance between the legitimate danger goemon exudes and his naivety and inadequacy with the world #he seems simultaneously very old and very young #like a child that was forced into becoming a killing machine #forced to grow up too fast and at the same time never allowed to actually grow up #idk man i just have a lot of feelings about TWCFM!Goemon #goemon ishikawa #lupin iii #twcfm #The Woman Called Fujiko Mine #takeshi koike

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Those Beyond The Wall

sequel/companion to The Space Between Worlds, set a decade later

character-focused sci-fi set in an area divided in two, the rich protected city on one side and everyone else in the post-apocalyptic desert

follows a woman who works under the Emperor in Ashtown, keeping the peace

when mangled bodies start showing up with seemingly no murderer, she’s tasked with finding the cause, and finds out that it’s the result of corruption spanning both cities and multiple worlds

explores oppression and messy revolution, police violence and apartheid

bi & polyamorous MC

#Those Beyond The Wall #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #space between worlds sequel!!! honestly I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it….. In general I enjoyed it and I think it had #a lot of important things to say but also maybe highlighted some weaknesses(?) in both books? #or - I guess just the fact that the sff stuff (which skews a little more magicy here) is kinda small scope relative to its potential #and more there to serve the plot and characters. Which actually maybe is the point. idk- there's def mixed reviews lol #it has a messy unlikable MC (like actually - when half the weak ass reviews are saying the MC is annoying you know they are Actually a #complex character) and some interesting relationship dynamics #it is pretty solidly a sequel - I wouldnt read this without reading TSBW #cara does show up in here& tbh her characterisation felt quite different to me? unsure how I feel about that? but maybe it's the biased POV #also to be clear: polyam MC; not a polyam romance or anything #(there's - kinda a romance? or various feelings floating around and she 'ends up' with someone. feel like i would have liked that to end #more subtley but that's probably my personal taste lol) #man some of the 1 star reviews of this are kinda.....just racist though. can we get some measured critique in here #as I said i am not entirely sure how I feel about it but not quite in a way I can articulate.... idk! i think it's worth the read tho #it's maybe one of those revolutions that feels solved a little too easily in the end - but then also is it solved or is it just that the #narrative has to end at a certain point

[gobstoppr]

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

NEW NAME

transmaskmetaknight -> GOBSTOPPR

wanted a change of pace. the word gobstopper has been bouncing around in my head lately

#text #transmaskmetaknight #need a new pfp... and my phones home screen i wanna change it too.. n maybe redecorate the blog while im at it... #ive been tired and angry lately. its my hater arc etc etc #ugh idk. ive been trying to be more honest with my feelings #but that means my annoyance gets magnifyied like 10fold #ive been impatient about a lot of stuff that doesnt amuse me. ive hated the boop shit today bc the word is so. dumb. childish. #ugh i feel like one of those nerds with the minors dni in their fuckin bio at age 19 #but its how i feel!! im tired of settling for things i find not very satisfying. i want art that feels real. i want fandom to shut up. #i want to watch shows that are not Cartoons for Babies. i want to feel something Real. #i need to go Deeper. i have to chase this

[kentopedia]

truthfully i want to back away from jjk but i don’t know how

#bc i still love nanami & want to write about him but #i don’t feel like i’m a part of the fandom anymore #& im okay w it i just want to have my own space on here #it’s just all i see allll the time and i’m kind of tired of it :( bc i don’t care anymore #i don’t get excited about it like i do bsd either :( #i also don’t just want to be known as a jjk blog which i feel like … i kind of am now maybe :/ #but like it’s ALLL people post about & i have a lot of jjk moots which i love so i’m not going to block anyone 😭😭 but i also wish i could #just like …. distance myself easier lol #it’s mostly the fandom too like idk i don’t like it #anyway sorry for the rant but if you’re wondering why i’m posting all abt bsd again all of the sudden this is why #i just realized it makes me a lot happier !! :3 to be more a part of that side of tumblr

[shibuiking]

#first pic is an updated/edited ver of smth older to match design changes #and orikan... i know it makes sense for necrontyr to be fully covered up but hes such a petty contrarian that i think it feels right- #for him to throw traditional covered up clothing out of the window after he sees that his generation will not die. #idk. was thinking about it a lot i have more to say but its probably not interesting #40k #orikan the diviner #skitarii #iron hands #oc: pallarex #oc: mu-15 #necrons #i have so much to say abt orikan man... so much to think abt so much to say. i love him. hes so... #also i just finished reading severed and it ruined my whole day i cant focus on anything noone told me it was gay FOR REAL #and its the most touching and heartwrenching love story ive ever read in my life and maybe one of my fav stories ive read full stop #fucking necrons man its too much. theyre so heartbreaking. #i will draw obyron sometime... i wanted to today but i slept all yesterday and a lot of today so im too sleepy to do anything except be sad #(over having read severed) #oc

[cozy-the-overlord]

Seeing people complain about the Speak Now vault tracks being too teenagery …. gee, you’d almost think a teenager wrote them /s

#i feel like it’s a lose lose situation #because if they’re ‘too mature’ like on the red vault people accuse her of writing them recently #but if they’re ‘too immature’ people complain about them being not as good #i for one really like the speak now vault #it may not be as deep as red but i think it’s still really eye-opening #like the kinds of things she was thinking about but felt she couldn’t share #idk maybe it’s because i was a Small Child when speak now came out #and it was really the first album i ever became obsessed with #and as a result i idolized taylor as this beacon of perfection and grown-up-ness #like obviously I’ve long since recognized that she was still a child in a lot of ways in that era #but hearing the vault tracks really made her feel like a Real Teenager to me in a way i never had before? #like the anxiety on electric touch #the insecurity on when emma falls in love #the hopefulness tinged with self-loathing/self-criticalness on foolish one #the wattpad-tinged fantasy of i can see you #idk i feel like teenage me would have related to all that a lot in a way that i never did with her other music #idk i’m rambling #i need to go to bed #taylor swift #speak now taylor’s version

[wildflowercryptid]

sometimes, i think about the extra bit of depth alex's romance is given when you date him as a guy and i just gotta. stare at the ceiling for a bit...

#i think his heart events are nice either way but like... there's some extra flavor given to when your farmer's a guy #like him admitting that the farmer is the only other guy that he can be vulnerable around #or how admits that he tried denying his feelings for the farmer at first bc of his own internalized homophobia #and probably some external homophobia too #since george will tell the player that he wasn't sure about alex and them being together bc of his own biases #but seeing how happy alex was with them makes him rethink his views #idk i just really like his heart events i wish ppl appreciated them more #i also think it's interesting to see the game acknowledge homophobia and how it'd actually affect the queer relationships in town #it's definitely nice that the town is pretty damn accepting especially a majority of the romance options' families #but it feels more realistic to have those little bittersweet truths mixed in there too i like it #sorry i've got sdv brain rn so i'm thinking about it a lot #stardew valley #mj.txt #tw homophobia mention #sdv spoilers

[multifairyus]

Anyway I love Black people and seeing this explosion of creative and cultural expression is healing something in me I think 🥺

Now to make some Black ATSV moots to bounce playlist ideas off of…

#atsv #across the spider verse #black in fandom #miles morales 42 #Hobie brown #margo kess #miles morales #no between these four I can have unlimited black love ships and that’s so— #even with my other big fandom…the main love interests are both white chile #I feel bad I have read much margo fic because my fic interest is basically just /Hobie #Flowerbyte and Prowlerbyte are making POINTS #as is PunkFlower and PunkProwler #even all their ship names are adorable like?? #also? idk how to ask without making ppl feel alienated but uh #what…what about an interdimensional all black friend group 👉🏾👈🏾 #love the spiderband as much as then next person but Margo and Miles 42 is excluded a lot from them #the sibling energy that can exist between them too…basically I’m into everything?? #I just love black people being happy in community and/or in love ok #this is for the niggas strictly for the niggas