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anonniemousefics · 3 years

Note

Hello! I absolutely adore your writing, especially your writings of kanej! Anyway, I would love to see you write something about jealousy from either kaz or inej, I just think it would be interesting to see your take on it! Obviously you don’t have to, I love your work! You’re a great writer!

❤️ Thank you so much!! This was so sweet to receive, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get this to you! So, hopefully you’re cool with this, but I decided to apply this idea in a modern AU because I have another request I’m also working on for a modern AU and this felt like an opportunity for some more practice. 😊 (And it just made it more fun for me -- idk, my brain just needed to do something new with these characters to make this work.)

Samples - Modern AU

Fandom: Six of Crows | Kaz + Inej (ft. all the other Crows)

Word Count: 3,545

Rating: Teen And Up (Language)

“Who did this?”

All of Kaz’s friends were doubling over in laughter around the round hand-me-down table in Kaz and Jesper’s apartment. There were black and white Cards Against Humanity prompts spread across its surface – the most offensive combination of which had Inej, well, and everyone else, in fits.

What made my first kiss so awkward? had been the prompt Inej had drawn.

To which Kaz had submitted the following, randomly-selected card for her consideration – Announcing that I am about to cum. And then kept his poker face locked in place.

“Who did this?” Inej was demanding again, clutching her stomach.

Kaz wasn’t sure why he was hesitating -- something strange was happening while all of this was playing out. Nina had one hand on Inej’s arm while she was fairly screeching with laughter. Inej was slumping against Jesper, like the laugh was shaking her boneless. In fact, everywhere he looked, he was noticing how they were each exchanging these casual, unconscious touches in the midst of their mirth – Matthias turning his face against Nina’s shoulder, Wylan slapping Jesper’s shoulder.

No one was touching Kaz, though – which, that was good, though, right? That was because they were his friends, and they were thoughtful, and they knew all about The Very Sad Thing that had made him the way that he was.

And yet --

Kaz couldn’t find it in himself to laugh. He should be laughing, though, he realized. A normal person would be laughing, given the infectious nature of laughter. And also it was genuinely a really funny card – that’s why he’d played it. But all he could do was force a smile, and that was it.

He suddenly felt like an alien among them.

“Was it you?!” Inej was exclaiming, waving the card at him. Kaz designed what he hoped was a coy smirk for her.

“Are you saying that’s your favorite?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“It was you.” Inej looked appalled, which only made everyone around the table hoot louder. Kaz was still smirking as she threw his winning card back at him with a mischievous, red-faced grin on her face.

“Oh, my God, Brekker.” Nina was wiping the tears off her apple-red cheeks.

“Why does that make it so much worse?” Matthias wondered, since he evidently could never not take a jab at Kaz. He scrubbed his eyes like he needed to wash them out.

And still not a single laugh out of Kaz’s body – this was disturbing. How long had he been this way? And why did he care so much all of a sudden?

“Guys, I’m pretty sure he won,” Wylan was saying, pointing at Kaz’s stack of wins. Had he? Everyone turned to count their cards.

Jesus Christ, he hadn’t even been paying attention to winning? But Kaz loved winning. It was the only reason he tolerated his roommate hosting these raucous game nights – because it meant Kaz could win things. And usually a lot of things. It was especially choice winning things off of Matthias Helvar, Nina’s latest lughead boyfriend she’d met at the gym, who now had to be invited to everything even though he sucked. He was always cuddling close to Nina, putting his arm around her, whispering gross things in her ear that made her giggle insufferably. It was so fucking uncomfortable.

Kaz never acted that way around Inej, and they’d been together for years. Sort of. Not always officially. It really had only been officially lately, but Kaz had always told himself he wasn’t one to need to put labels on things. Inej knewhow he felt – he knew this. (Did he, though?) He definitely knew this. (No, he didn’t.) There was no need to be like Matthias fucking Helvar and canoodle her in front of everyone on game night.

Oh, God. Kaz was suddenly having a realization, right there in the middle of counting his cards.

Oh, God.

He was jealous of Matthias Helvar.

Oh, this sucked.

This really fucking sucked. Kaz thought no one in their right mind should ever be jealous of that big dumb fuck, with his protein shakes and his weirdly popular fitspo Instagram page. The guy looked like he ate nothing but wild-caught salmon and organic broccoli. He wasn’t funny, and he’d say weirdly spiritual shit at socially unacceptable times. He probably spent his weekends doing annoying, on-brand fuckery like being one with nature and brewing his own kombucha, that asshole.

And this was the guy who felt comfortable enough to kiss a girl’s ear in a total stranger’s apartment. (Well, not a total stranger, Kaz would relinquish that – Nina had been dating Matthias for three months.) Matthias Helvar was doing all that nothing with his life, and he wasn’t the least bit self-conscious.

Ugh. Kaz hated that guy. Worse! Kaz wanted to be that guy. Minus the kombucha and the religious stuff. And the gym membership. And probably the protein shakes.

Ok, fine, Kaz was only interested in the PDA. This was so fucking awful.

“What number were we playing to?” he heard himself ask. He wasn’t even paying attention to card counting. He was going to have to start again.

“Can’t count that high, Brekker?” Matthias asked, smirking, and there was always something Kaz took as halfway serious in the way he tried to joke.

“Die in a fire, Helvar,” he said, with a smile that was as good as a middle finger.

“And on that note!” Nina sung out, standing with a hand on Matthias’ shoulder. “It’s almost midnight. I have an eight a.m. class. We gotta call it a night.”

“Matthias drove us,” Inej explained to Kaz’s questioning look at the word “We.”

Inej and Nina were roommates, too, like Kaz and Jesper, but the two girls lived on campus in the dorms at Ketterdam University, where all but Matthias attended. (Fucking Matthias, who was a personal trainer and got money from wellness companies to tout their shit on his Instagram. Ugh.) Wylan, Jesper’s boyfriend, was also living in the dorms this year, after spending his freshmen year commuting from his dad’s enormous house. Wylan had been the one with the car before Kaz had finally scraped together the money for one, but his dad had cut him off over the summer. Kaz didn’t know much about that beyond what little Jesper had told him, which, in summary, was: goodbye, car; hello, dorm life.

“You should have said something – I could have picked you all up,” Kaz said, mostly to Inej, as the others were standing from the table.

Nina reached a tentative hand out to gently touch his shoulder, well-protected by the fabric of his black v-neck.

“Kaz,” she said, gingerly, “we love you, but Matthias has functioning air conditioning.”

Kaz slid his glance toward Inej, who gave a little confirming nod, pressing back her amused smile.

“My thighs don’t stick to the seats in his car,” she explained, softly, which may as well have been a knife to the gut. He loved driving her around in his car. And, to top it off, she was in a pair of really adorable denim cut offs, her legs deeply tan from the summer sun, and he hadn’t even had the nerve to try to touch her exposed knee all night. (Meanwhile, Hands-On Helvar over here had been sitting with his palm all over Nina’s plentiful thighs all night. God, he was so gross. Couldn’t Kaz be just a little bit gross?)

“Are you okay?” Inej was asking. She was stepping a little closer to him away from where everyone else was putting on shoes, preparing to leave. She had her arms wrapped around herself and her loose, purple crop-top, and her long, dark braid was pulled over her shoulder – just mercilessly cute all over. And he hadn’t touched her all night.

“I’m fine,” he replied, but he kept his hands in his jeans pockets. Inej’s dark brows knit together.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t?” she checked. Kaz huffed a laugh – how was he supposed to answer that? Realistically, he should lie.

“Probably not,” he admitted anyway, and gave a shrug. Inej opened her mouth to reply, but Nina called to her from the doorway of the apartment.

“Sorry! Eight a.m. class! She’s going to text you from the car anyway!” Nina was shouting.

“She’s not wrong,” Inej shrugged with a smile. And reached out to barely brush her hand against his spine, like the first attempt at a hug. But Kaz could only bunch up his shoulders, hands stuffed deeper into his pockets. Why was he like this?

There were a few more awkward goodbyes at the doorway, including Matthias’ one-more last-minute sales pitch on the recent CBD-infused green powder drink he was hawking online. (“I’ll bring you some samples next week. They say it’s excellent for chronic pain.” Kaz had flipped him off when his back was turned.)

But then, once they’d all gone and the apartment was quiet, Kaz felt like he was rolling in regret.

“You doing ok?” Jesper asked him, gathering up the empty Solo cups for the trash. Jesper was a really good roommate. They’d been randomly assigned the same dorm room at the beginning of freshmen year, and it just worked. Jesper’s high energy plus Kaz’s insomnia were meant to be. They liked all the same things: strong coffee, getting paid dirty money to write other people’s papers for them, and occasionally clearing the mind by playing Call of Duty all night. They’d moved off campus the following year (a better move for the plagiarism operation), never even really having a conversation about whether or not to room with someone else. It was not even a question, and who else would Kaz even want to room with?

“You’ve seemed off all night,” Jesper was pointing out, and if Kaz had half a brain, he knew he should have been asking Jesper for advice about PDA long before it had reached envying-Matthias-Helvar-levels. Jesper and Wylan were normal in public. When they held hands or hugged or traded kisses, it wasn’t some fucking scene.

But how was he even supposed to bring this up to Jesper?

“Helvar’s such a dillweed,” was all he could find to complain. Jesper snorted.

“He is not that bad,” he said, dumping a stack of Solo cups into the trash.

“He’s the literal worst,” Kaz objected. “I can’t believe he unironically called himself an influencer.” And at that, Jesper pretended to barf into the trashcan.

“Yeah, no, you’re right – that was dumb,” he said. “I commend you for not cutting off your own ears when he did.”

“We are not buying his stupid fucking green juice,” Kaz said, pointing at Jesper to show he meant business.

“Good!” Jesper agreed. “Nina says it gives him the shits.”

And that brought Kaz some comfort. He found he could smirk about it while he loaded up the dishwasher. He was starting it up when his phone buzzed on the counter. He leaned over to read it.

Inej: You seemed sad tonight.

Inej’s contact photo in his phone was one he’d snapped when she wasn’t looking – she was leaning her head back with her eyes closed, taking in the sunshine. It had made her brown skin glimmer and dazzle.

Kaz stared at her text for probably too long. Long enough for Jesper to peer around the corner of the kitchen doorway at him.

“I’m going to bed – everything okay?” he said, and cocked his head. “Is it another last minute job?” Those kinds of jobs – the ones where a student was giving up the night before something massive was due – paid the most, but for good reason. They were absolutely fucking miserable to pull off.

“No,” Kaz shook his head. “Just Inej.”

It was never “just Inej” – and Jesper nodded like he knew that.

“Hey, Kaz,” he said, as he began to leave for his bedroom. Kaz looked up at him sidelong as he mouthed, barely audible: “Tell her what’s wrong.”

“Thank you, Dr. Phil.” Kaz rolled his eyes. And heaved a heavy sigh.

And started typing.

Kaz: I guess I was a little.

Whoa, pressing send on that was unpleasant. He wandered over to his preferred recliner in the living room and flopped back in it. Shoved the footrest up to elevate his bad leg. Ugh. Just ugh to everything and everyone. He looked down at his phone again.

And Inej had been quick to respond.

Inej: You can tell me these things, you know.

Inej: I know I won’t always have the right thing to say, but I want to be there for you.

Inej. Why are you being so perfect so far away?

Why are you wasting your time with a boyfriend who struggles to touch you?

Inej: Are you writing a novel?

He’d been writing and rewriting the same sentence twenty different times. She’d probably been looking at those ominous three bobbing dots for way too long.

Ugh. God. Fine. Kaz drew in a long deep breath, staring up at the ceiling like it could intervene and come to his aid. And then fucking wrote.

Kaz: I wish things were different

Kaz: I wish I wasn’t so fucked

Kaz: I wish I knew how to be a better boyfriend – how to make you blush and laugh and make that one smile that’s like you’re telling secrets with your eyes

He pushed the recliner back as far as it would go. Maybe it would tip and dump him on his head and he’d have to go to the hospital, and that would at least delay Inej inevitably breaking up with him for being this pathetic wet blanket. The phone buzzed again, and he almost didn’t want to look.

Inej: Um, where were you all night? You literally had me doing all those things all night

Huh. That wasn’t how he remembered it.

Kaz: On the opposite side of the table from you

Kaz: Watching basically everyone else be able to touch you but me

Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. That sounded so petulant, and he’d already pressed send. That sounded so needy and disgusting. Who said that kind of shit? Not even Matthias Helvar said that kind of shit. He wanted to throw his phone across the room. No, out the window. No, out into the sea.

Now he was on the receiving end of the three bobbing dots of doom. Fuuuuck.

Kaz: Can we just forget I said that?

More dots. Then nothing.

Then dots.

Inej: I don’t know. You’re kind of cute when you’re jealous.

At that, Kaz raised his eyebrows.

Kaz: I am not jealous.

Inej: You’re a little jealous

Kaz: No, I feel insufficient.

(Oooof. That was like trying to throw an anvil. Painful.)

Inej: Oh

Kaz was watching the texts come in from beneath his arm now, holding the phone high over his head. Like watching the slasher scenes in a horror movie.

Inej: I mean

Inej: It seems like you’re just splitting hairs here

Inej: Since you must think others are sufficient in ways you are not, so you envy them

…

Kaz: Touche, Ghafa.

And he couldn’t help smiling to himself when Inej sent him a gif of a swashbuckling cartoon Robin Hood brandishing a sword. Then another text bubble appeared.

Inej: You are not insufficient to me, Kaz.

He really wanted to believe that.

Kaz: Even if I’m not hanging all over you and amassing a truly staggering number of Instagram followers with my six-pack abs?

Inej: O.M.G.

Inej: Kaz

Inej: Brekker

Oh, God, what had he done?

Inej: Are you *jealous* of Matthias?

Uggghh, he was going to be sick.

Kaz: Fuck no

Kaz: It was just a hypothetical

Kaz: It was an exaggeration

Kaz: I could do the same thing with any one of our friends

Kaz: And we all know the abs are photoshopped anyway

Inej: OMG

Kaz: What now

Inej: You called Matthias our friend

Kaz wanted to stab himself in the brain.

Inej: I’m gonna tell him

Kaz: Don’t you fucking dare

Inej: I already did

Kaz: What? How? How are you that fast?

Inej: Still in the car

Kaz: ????

There was no reason for that – the dorms were hardly a 10-minute drive. Now Kaz’s brain was assaulting him with a thousand reasons things his girlfriend could still be doing in a car (A nice car! With working air conditioning!) with a personal trainer/amateur Instagram model, and none of them were pleasant or welcome thoughts. The phone buzzed again.

Inej: I asked him to bring me back to you. :)

At that, Kaz straightened the recliner, rising to his feet as fast as his stiff leg would allow.

Kaz: You did? And he did? Why?

He was limping toward the front door.

Inej: Because he’s not terrible, Kaz. And because I guess I missed your car after all ;)

Jesper and Kaz’s apartment was the third floor of a wonky old Victorian home that had once been something grand and only recently had been split into three different abodes – which was definitely the worst decision the two of them had made as roommates. Kaz was leaning hard against the railing as he took to the steps when the front door of the building banged shut below. And then there on the landing below was Inej, wearing a sheepish smile in the yellow, buzzing fluorescence of the hall light. She was holding her phone in one hand, her tan leather purse slung across her slim body.

“I thought you looked like you could use a hug,” she said, as she pocketed her phone.

Kaz took the last two stairs carefully, coming to stand in front of her. She smelled like vanilla and coconut oil – like something he wanted to wake up to every morning.

“You came all the way back for a hug,” he wanted to clarify. His hands – he should do something with his hands. What would Matthias do with his hands?

No. What do I want to do with my hands?

So, he looped a couple fingers through her belt loops. Tugged her a little closer. And she smiled.

“Technically,” she said, “Matthias came all the way back so I could bring you some samples.” She patted her purse, which did look a little bulkier. “They were in his car the whole time.”

“Mmmm.” He pretended to look tantalized. “Hot car samples. Delicious.”

Inej was twisting her fingers in the t-shirt fabric at the crest of his hips. Tugging him a little closer, too. God, it was so good. She’d been so right. He had wanted a hug.

“I know that’s how I want my protein powder,” she teased. “Piping hot, right out of the oven.”

“Just how Ma used to make it,” Kaz added, with a good bit of feigned nostalgia. Inej blurted out a laugh, tipping forward until her forehead bumped his sternum.

At that first brush, it was like his hands knew what to do from there. They slipped around her waist while her hands slid around his. And she pressed her cheek against his chest while he held her close.

“You are not insufficient,” Inej said against him.

“I would really like to pretend that never happened,” he said with a sigh, resting his chin on top of her head.

“Too late,” she hummed, happily, and gave him a light squeeze. He smiled against her hair.

“You know I wouldn’t want you to be like Matthias, right?” she asked.

“You shouldn’t even want Matthias to be like Matthias,” Kaz grumbled.

“Hey,” and Inej pulled back to look up at him with her big, soft brown eyes. “I mean it. I just want you to be you. I don’t want all the handsy stuff. That’s what Nina likes. I just like you.”

Kaz carefully pushed back a few strands of her hair from her forehead.

“Not even a little handsy stuff?” he checked, which made Inej give her coy little smirk, his very favorite.

“Maybe a little handsy stuff,” she said.

If there were ever going to be a time to kiss her, it would be now. But when he thought it, Kaz felt his heart make an enormous leap into his throat, seizing in panic. If he touched her mouth with his, if he closed his eyes and felt her face so close to his, would he just end up floundering in The Very Sad Thing again? What if it happened while he was kissing her? Would every kiss after that be tainted? Could he risk it – could he ever?

So, he didn’t move to meet her lips. He let his hands fall to the small of her back, though, and kept her close for another moment. Like a sample of physical affection, and she seemed okay with that. He would will himself to believe it was not insufficient.

“Drive me home?” she asked after a moment, with a kind of sweet, eager anticipation that made Kaz believe in magic. He nodded, of course.

“I’ll go up and get my keys,” he said. “And you throw away those samples.”

Inej laughed, following him up.

“Deal,” she said.

-----------------------------------

Tagging: @annejulianneh111, @loveyatopluto, @ireallyshouldsleeprn, @whosanxiety, @raging-bisexual-alert,

#kanej #kanej fanfic #soc fanfic #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #modern au #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #nina zenik #look so im not a matthias fan #dont come for me #i just want to make fun of him because he's a big doofus

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bi-bobbysoxxers · 4 years

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🏀, 📖, 🎸, 🚗, 👤, 📼, 💄, 🔮, 🎁, 💞, 👭, 💘, 🕛, ⛅ for the Gay/Lesbian ask game please?

Alrighty lol xD

🏀🏐 Do you play any sports?

Uh, not anymore unfortunately. When i was in middle school, i played basketball, volleyball, did cheerleading, and was in running club. In highschool, i did cross country in the fall, and i think that's it lol, since i was mostly obsessed with doing theatre lol. I realy liked building the sets and painting, and being on running crew lol. If i ever decided to join a sport, it would be either soccer or beach volleyball, since those seem the most fun. And good cardio too!

📖 Do you write?

Yeah, occasionally lol. I'm not the greatest writer ever, but i'd like to think i'm proud of the work that I've posted. Mostly just Haikyuu and K Project fics. Here's my AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElotheFairy

Eventually i want to write some BSD and She-Ra fics, cause i have some ideas, i'm just pretty lazy when it comes to writing, whoops.

🎸 Are you a musician?

Oh I wishhh. That would be so cool. I used to be able to play the piano, and I'm able to reteach myself the scales and play simple songs if I'm sitting at home, but that's about it lol. I need one of those lil whiteboards that you can stick right above a keyboard so i can just have the scale in front of me and learn cute studio ghibli piano songs lol.

🚗 Can you drive?

Surprisingly, yes. Lol I'm a Midwest American queer, so we gotta either learnt to drive ourselves to the cool places, or date someone who can drive us everywhere xD I'm great driving in my hometown and in my college town, but I still can't drive in super big cities quite yet. That'll have to change soon tho once I move for my apprenticeship!

👤 Favorite LGBT fictional character?

Does Kakashi count xD

I'm sure there are a bunch of good queer characters out there, but deadass, most of the shows I watch, it's merely implied, oof. If we're going with canonly queer, i guess i like Simon from Love, Simon a lot. Oh, and of course, Scorpia from She-Ra lol. I hc her as a nb androg lesbian lol. Oh, and Chloe and Max from Life is Strange, and that one chick from Stranger Things, i guess.

If we're going with just, an implied/possibly coded queerness, I love Oikawa from HQ, i headcanon him as a demiboy who is bi or pan. (I headcanon that most fo the dudes from that anime are bi lmao). Uh, I also love Akutagawa and Odasaku from Bungou Stray dogs. I headcanon that Akutagawa is a trans nb guy, demisexual, and panromantic. I also hc Oda as bi lol. I also love Akagi and Misaki from K project, i hc Misaki as a bi trans guy, lol. And i hc Akagi as cis and bi. For She-Ra, i adore both Bow and Sea Hawk, i think it might be implied that Bow is a trans guy, so i hc him as trans and bi. And for my love, Sea Hawk, i hc him as bigender and bi, who laters gets into a polyamrous relationship with both Bow and Mermista lol. Sorry, I have a lot of implied queer hc's, lol.

📼 80's or 90's?

90's for fashion, hair, and makeup.

80's for great music, cute ppl, and fun design ideas lol.

💄 Do you like makeup?

Uhhh, it's kinda complicated.

I like makeup as a concept of freedom of expression, feminity, a way of transforming yourself into a piece of art, blurring the lines between gender ideals, presentation, makeup for fantasy concepts, etc.

But i also dont't like makeup sometimes because it's def been used as a tool to pressure women into performative feminity, used, as a way to groom young girls, used a sneaky way of breaking down a lot of ppl's self confidence, it encourages highly unrealistic beauty standards (for both women and men), i also hate how motherfucking EXPENSIVE and unsustainable it is.

So as a tool for art, genderfuckery, and self-expression, i love it. But as a msrketing concept mostly driven by male CEOs and years and years of misogny and captialism? Not so much lol. I like wearing makeup for big occasions or for when i feel hyperfeminine some days, but I usually prefer going without it.

🔮 Do you believe in astrology?

Yeah, to a reasonable extent lol. I'm not one of those queer that obsesses over every little detail tho. I'm still def learning about it. I recently lesrned that you can combine astrology, with tarot readings, which can greatly specifiy the readings, for both yourself and other people, so I think i'll try that once I get a tarot deck for my birthday lol.

🎁 Fave holiday?

Well, I could be one of those queers who automatically says Halloween, but the more i think about it, i think i like the fall/halloween season waaayy more. Which makes me think that I actually like Thanksgiving a lot, as just, an American holiday. I don't think we shoukd really celebrate it for it's historical reasons, but i also will never say no to good food, family, friends, and a general warmth and sense of peace during that time of the year :3

💞 Fave thing to do on a first date?

Festivals!!!! I looooovee going to any type of market, festival, etc. with someone. I think it's a great way to explore, start conversations, and learn about someone. Cuz like, the type of art, food, trinkets, and music that draws someone in can you a lot about that person, if you think about it! It's hella cute. And then once you're tired of the crowds, most festivals usually have quiet garden or parks near them that you can escape to for some quiet time and deep conversations, lol.

👭 Do u have a gf? Do you want one?

No, I don't have a girlfriend lol. I have an amazing and very caring boyfriend tho. I have briefly dated women in the past tho. It's been fun, lol. I've always wondered, if i had more past romantic/sexual experiences with women, then maybe i'd possibly identify as a lesbian, but honestly, I'm proud of my journey, and I get very happy when I think about my bigender-ness and bisexuality lol. I don't think I would change that for anything. For whatever reason, i think I just click better with bois and nb ppl rather than with cis girls, i'm not sure why lol. But good for anyone who has a gf right now plz treat her like a kweennnn xD

💘

Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, lol. I used to, back in middle school tho. I def believe in love at second sight, or love at first conversation. Ppl are so damn cute when they talk about things they're passionate about, or even when they just get goofy and rant to you about a crazy story lol.

🕐 How old were you when you realized you weren't straight?

Oh god, lol. I was... *tries to do math* I think 16 or 17? I uhh had accidentally fallen for one of my best friends in high school lol. It turned out okay tho, we're still friends to this day. Thanks for that, friend, I'm so glad i realized that sooner rather than later lol.

⛅ Winter or summer queer?

Oh def, winter, lol. Altho winter depression is real most years, idk, i feel lkke i would rather be anxious and cold, rather than angry and sweating buckets lol. Actually now that I think about it, the summer always makes me a little more moody than winter, cause i always feel like i should doing more, but summer's really a time for waiting and rest, if you think about it. I'm always happier in the winter cause most of the time, i'm slowly moving towards certains goals in my life, and the world just...seems happier and more cozy in the winter season, idk.

Thanks for these asks, dude! I had a lot of fun with them, lol.

Anyone can ask me any of the other q's on the pinned pride game list if you'd like! Happy Pride, BLM!!

#elo speaks #thanks for the ask #ask games #pride #pride asks

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failingtheoscars · 3 years

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(2019) Troy’s Annual Academy Award Failure

Oh god. I say this every year but this might be the hardest year to call in recent memory. There are zero locks this year. Usually there’s only a few toss-ups on the list. Since there’s so many weird ways this could go, I’m going to go for a more risky ballot than usual instead of playing it safe, so expect my accuracy to range from 12-23/24 (it’ll never be 24.)

Best Actor - The Academy seems to be losing their goddamn minds over Bohemian Rhapsody this year, which I haven’t had the chance to see yet but I have a sneaking suspicion I won’t love it. Nevertheless, I don’t think they have the guts to push it for Best Picture so I think they’ll reward Rami Malek’s teeth here because people just... genuinely like Freddy Mercury, and will transfer that to even a half decent performance (mind you, maybe he’s great. Idk.)

Will win: Rami Malek

Might win: Christian Bale cus he put on weight

Should win: Ethan Hawke for First Reformed

Best Actress - The wind is blowing in favour of Glen Close just because she never wins one, but Colman has BAFTA momentum.

Will win: Glen Close

Might win: Olivia Colman

Should win: Olivia Colman, honestly. Or Lady Gaga, which I never thought I’d say.

Best Supporting Actor - The writing on the wall is Mahershala Ali for Green Book, but I said this wouldn’t be a safe ballot. It’s possible the Academy will think it’s too soon for him after his last win and will toss it towards Richard E. Grant who’s building late-game momentum.

Will win: Richard E. Grant

Might win: Mahershala Ali

Should win: Steven Yuen for Burning

Best Supporting Actress - Ugh. Conventional wisdom says Regina King but she hasn’t swept up a lot of the big awards and I have a feeling that The Favourite’s voting isn’t as split by Weisz and Stone as people seem to think. Plus, if they give Actress to Close they might want to reward The Favourite somehow.

Will win: Rachel Weisz

Might win: Regina King

Should win: Rachel Weisz

Best Animated - Felt like Incredibles 2 could’ve won this award with its eyes closed if it was even mildly memorable. Too bad it wasn’t. Spider-verse might actually be good enough to overwhelm the Pixar name.

Will win: Spider-Man: Enter the Spider-Verse or whatever

Might win: Incredibles 2

Should win: spideymun

Best Cinematography - Roma look good, and I buy the theory that the Academy was willing to cut out the presentation for Cinematography because it was just going to be another award Roma picked up.

Will win: Roma

Might win: Cold War

Should win: ?Roma

Best Costume Design - wakanda forever

Will win: Black Panther

Might win: The Favourite

Should win: whatever do i look like i know much about costumes

Best Directing - Uagh. There’s a bit of a buzz that maybe Spike Lee will finally get an Oscar but I don’t see the Academy ever going for anything Spike Lee does because he’s not safe enough for them (good)

Will win: Cuaron for Roma

Might win: Spike Lee for BlacKkKlansman

Should win: Yorgos Lanthimos for The Favourite or Paul Schrader for First Reformed

Documentary (Feature) - Splits between the name recognition of RBG or the actual honest to goodness quality of Minding the Gap. Oh, also Free Solo, which people have seen. Fuck, I don’t know. I see an upset with Minding the Gap, but don’t be surprised if it’s one of the other two.

Will win: Minding the Gap

Might win: Free Solo or RBG

Should win: idk i never watch docs, im stupid

Best Documentary Short - duh idk

Will win: Period, End of Sentence

Might win: End Game, the other one with “End” in the title

Should win: Paddington 2

Best Editing - I think voters frequently interpret this as “most editing,” so that’s gotta be McKay

Will win: Vice

Might win: Bohemian Rhapsody cus why not

Should win: The Favourite

Best Foreign Language Film - Only one of these is nominated for Best Picture.

Will win: Roma

Might win: Cold War

Should win: Burning. NOMINATE IT, COWARDS

Best Make-up and Hairstyling - Woah... Christian Bale look like different man? How do that?

Will win: Vice

Might win: idk

Should win: Me, because my contour game is on point

Best Music (Original Score)

Will win: BlacKkKlansman

Might win: If Beale Street Could Talk

Should win: Beale Street

Best Music (Original Song) - I’M IN THE SHALLLOOOOWS WATCH AS I DIVVVVEEE IIIINNNNN, ILL NEVER blehbhlbeh

Will win: Shallow

Might win: Shallow.

Should win: When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings, don’t @ me

Best Production Design - 9 times out of 10, the period piece wins.

Will win: The Favourite

Might win: Black Panther

Should win: idk

Best Short Film (Animated) - Going with the only one I saw baby, cus I bet it’s the only one they saw too

Will win: Bao

Might win: ?

Should win: ??!?!?!??

Best Short Film (Live Action) - lol

Will win: Marguerite

Might win: any of them

Should win: your mom lmao gotem

Best Sound Editing - Hi i’m an academy voter and don’t know what this means but rocket go boom

Will win: First Man

Might win: Bohemian Rhapsody

Should win: bleep bloop

Best Sound Mixing - Hi i’m an academy voter and don’t know what this means but Queen sound good

Will win: Bohemian Rhapsody

Might win: A Star is Born

Should win: bloop bleep

Best Visual Effects

Will win: Avengers: Infinity War

Might win: First Man

Should win: im tired of this list. I don’t feel so good Mr Stark

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay) - Often the “oh shit we should award this person but we’re NOT doing best picture for them” award. Last year it was Get Out (or was that the year before? Idk.) and this year it’s Spike Lee.

Will win: BlacKkKlansman

Might win: I dunno. Can You Ever Forgive Me? ?

Should win: Burning

Best Writing (Original Screenplay) - God help me if this is Green Book. It VERY WELL could be Green Book. The wind is blowing in the direction of them giving it to The Favourite but I refuse to believe the Academy might not drop the ball on Best Picture but would also somehow not drop the ball here too? They’re dropping at least ONE BALL people.

Will win: Green Book

Might win: The Favourite

Should win: First Reformed

Best Picture - Lord almighty. I feel deep in my heart it’s Green Book but I wonder if the momentum Roma has suddenly taken will actually bring it over the finish line. Normally it’d be a given the Academy would NEVER give a movie like Roma an award, but fuck, they gave it to Moonlight over La La Land.

Will win: Roma

Might win. Like REALLY might win: Green Book

Should win: Burning or First Reformed

OKAY THANKS boy this list already smells of failure

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