#idk am I actually just cis and faking it??

[concerto-roblox]

honestly i cannot explain the gender feelings i get sometimes. like i see a picture of a man and i think "god i wanna be him" or "god that's so me" but not like. i don't want to look exactly like him or be percieved as a man at all (like not even in a butch or gnc way i skew pretty femme most of the time)... but it's like if i was that man but also a woman that would be epic... or if that man was a woman he would be so me but also if he was still a man?? what is gender.

#i am like 99% sure i'm cis which ik saying that makes it look like i'm actually not #but trust me multiple of my longtime close friends are trans/nb i would've figured it out by now #and i have experimented with stuff but she/her are the only pronouns that have worked for me (ik pronouns don't equal gender but yknow) #i think the way i feel about gender can be complicated when not only am i autistic so i interpret stuff differently from allistic cis ppl #but also being a queer woman like yknow how some ppl say their gender is lesbian?? i get that but i'm bi so it's not as clear cut for me #like sometimes i feel like my gender is like... femme bisexual?? like not strictly woman but pretty close to it #because i'm not not a woman but sometimes the way i feel about my gender in relation to the theoretical person i'd be in a relationship wit #it doesn't feel completely clear cut woman if that makes sense?? #which i know gender is fake and you can do whatever you want forever but idk that's just kind of how i feel about it #like i don't want to be a boy or anything related to that at all but also if someone referred to me as 'boyfriend' i think i would like tha #does any of that make sense at all???? idk #it's like some men are me but i am not A man... do you understand #i am NOT non-binary but i'm also not binary... do you understand this too #how to be cringe 101 #gender

[thegayghestieprompter]

Random Papa HCs

(click for more, not nsfw but i wrote a LOT)

Primo<3

Primo was like. THE parentified child. If you think Nihil wasn't out being a Slut™ for the Whole Time you are WRONG!!!

He loves his brothers. Even Copia. Even before he knew they were biologically related.

He is Filled With Anxiety™ all the TIME. Being raised to grow up almost immediately is tough, yeah

This man. This man is so romantic. Like. He will love you forever and ever and ever and ever. And he will make sure you know it. You are going on All of The Dates. You are going to be given gifts randomly. Mostly flowers. He likes flowers

He likes flowers :3

can't cook for shit

Upon revival he looks a bit younger, like 60s/70s rather than like 80+ and definitely has long blond hair. This one is here because I like Peemo with hair. I want to touch his hair. I think I love hi

Sighs. Pansexual.

6ft tall

His legal first name is Federico. I don't know why, I found it on a baby name site and I love her (the name. Primo's pronouns are He/Him)

His pronouns are probably He/Him

Secondo<3

Slut. The Worst Sassy Bitch from 18 to like 29

He's like actually sweet but only if he is In Love with you

He loves his brothers. This does NOT mean he is nice to them

Everyone annoys him all of the time. There are no exceptions.

Only dates humans. Is confused as to why anyone(Terzo..Copia..) would date a ghoul. Ghoul-fucker. Ew. Nasty.

So he might be bi. I think he is

He's a Bisexual Bitch and I want tokiss hi

He's so fine

^^^not a headcanon thats actually a fact

Bald forever<3

cooks so fucking good. never cooks though :(

He had blond hair too when he was WAYY younger except he was like "ew i look like my older brother who acts like a MOM. dying this shit brown"

Wavy with some curls<3

Another He/Him!?!?

A Slut And Whore™ until he falls in love. On the rare occasion that he does he falls HARD. Stupid little dumby. I love hi

His legal first name would be Vincenzo. No elaboration. I just Think So therefore its true

6'2, says he's 6ft because he never actually checked, Terzo tells people he's 5'9

Terzo<3

short fuck. he's literally 4'9 and its literally canon and thats so fucking funny

Whore but not in a slutty way. He fake-romances like any sibling of sin and then gets FUCKED and then DIPS. Suddenly he has a lot of paperwork to get to

Slut but not in a whorish way. Wears revealing clothing for Omega but still the fancy kind. Kabukiaku has it down and I love her for that

Stupid old man with smile lines face wrinkles i think i need to kiss h

Did you know his confidence is the fakest shit because boy he is SO insecure (i have an angst problem this is my fault sorry

Ghoul-fucker

Loves to annoy Secondo. Gets pissed when Secondo gets mad. Tries to bother Primo. Gets pissed when Primo is kind and open to him. Hates Copia. Gets pissed when Copia Exists.

He romancess everyone with at least One Rose. IDK why but purple and red are so pretty together and he looks so romantic he is a very romantic man btw so he uses roses to stealyou

Hear me out. "Antonio"

Sorry I didn't elaborate his legal first name should be Antonio because??? yeah

Most people use He/Him for Terzo, he doesn't mind He/They. He just doesn't care. Basically cis he/him who is okie dokie with a little "they/them" here and there

he can't cook for shit

he's handsome

he's stupid

he's an idiot

he's so fine

he's my boyfriend

sorry for last bullet thats not a hc i just love him :(

Copia<3

Sigh<3

5'7. u3u

he's not that slutty actually he's too dorky to even properly romance someone. you give him hints? he thinks you're really friendly. he tries to give you hints? they are not understandable

Rats. Everywhere. He has pet rats. This is canon and if you disagree you are Wrong

be the rat you want to see in the world

that wasnt a hc sorry. He/Him

GREY HAIRS IN HIS BROWN HAIR GREY HAIRS SO MANY AND I NEED HIM. I LVOE HIM

sorry guys. i put myself back into my cage i am normal again. he has that cute little giggle. like that kind of laugh you hear that makes you just stop and stare at the person for a bit because You Are In Love With H

his smile is sooo sweet

He doesn't have fangs but he has sliiiightly crooked teeth that look kinda like em :)

he loves his brothers. He likes Primo and is closest with him cause Primo was active in his childhood and hung out with him and stuff. He respects Secondo but Secondo didn't really interact much in his childhood. He'll gladly make conversation and try to say hi when he sees him. He always kindly greets Terzo and awkwardly babbles about random shit getting progressively more nervous when Terzo is obviously annoyed

Hi. He's pretty

His office has plants that Primo gave him

He has every Employee of the Month award on his wall in his office

He can't cook for shit

take out<3

doordash<3

Pansexual<3

Ghoul-fucker

he's my husband

sorry no he's not. i lied. do you forgive me

ummmmm

rats?

yeah

Nihil >:( >:( 🤬🤬🤬

I hate him

Ugly old wrinkly BITCHSTICK

terrible

cheater

fuckass dumbfuck

i hate him

he's stupid/neg

i don't like him

young nihil is sooooo fine i need him in my household

i hate him

#papa emeritus iii #papa terzo #papa terzo headcanons #papa copia #papa emeritus iv #terzo my beloved #papa emeritus lll #papa emeritus 4 #papa emeritus #papa emeritus i #papa emeritus ii #papa secondo #papa primo #papa nihil #ghost bc headcanons #ghost band headcanons #ghost the band #ghost headcanons #the band ghost #ghost #ghost bc #ghost band #papa emeritus 0

[kittenintheden]

okay listen I'm so tired lol

I am a fandom old. I've been around the freaking block like eight dozen times. I'm at the point in my life where I enjoy media because it's FUN and ENRICHING for me personally, rather than something I base my identity on. I adore the community that happens in fan spaces (mostly).

here is why I never trust an anon that's clearly just being a dick: I've been in way to many scenarios where people who aren't even invested in the thing just think it's so fucking funny to watch segments of a community fight with each other. it tickles some part of their lizard brain. their mom never taught them not to be an asshole to strangers. idk.

there's a political term that you may or may not be familiar with called astroturfing. it's frequently used in marketing and politics to falsely create the image of vast public support for something that doesn't actually have all that much natural support. for example, people who don't especially have strong feelings about trans issues being encouraged/paid/instructed to respond to any and all trans support a certain way. responding to blogs, sending letters to the editor, posting on message boards, etc. their goal is to create a broad public perception that most people are anti-trans (untrue).

and it works. entire fucking laws and legislation and protests and fearmongering come out of that shit. people make up FAKE PROBLEMS (cis men dressing up like women to go be pervy in public bathrooms???) and spread the word via bad actors and controlling the public discourse. the media conglomerate that gamed Facebook to disproportionately support asshole authoritarian alt-right clowns and got them elected was EXCELLENT at it.

a similar thing can happen in fandom, ESPECIALLY when that fandom is a haven for women, POC, queer folk, and other minorities. you guys might remember GamerGate and SadPuppies? yeah all those fuckers are still active and still purposely being shitty at every given opportunity because they think it's funny to make the "libs" fight amongst themselves.

look up #yourslipisshowing if you're not familiar. it was a movement by Black Twitter (specifically Black WOMAN Twitter) to expose bad actors who would create accounts posing as Black woman activists, learn the surface-level terminology, and just purposely cause discord in leftist spaces under the ever-familiar activist method of "being morally pure is a thing that can exist."

anyway: any time I get an ask or comment without a name attached that is very obviously intended to poke me in a sore spot, I delete that shit and assume it's some fucker trying to start fan drama for kicks. even if I'm wrong, I still don't need to feed into that shit. this is my fun, happy space. I'm an activist and do activist shit and get angry at the world in real life, I don't need it in my little fandom corner of the internet too.

which is not to say that shitty fans and shitty fandom takes don't really exist. they very much do. but I don't give them much air unless there's an actual name attached. and even THEN it can be hit or miss because people can and do create fake accounts if they're especially dedicated to being a shithead.

so: if you're minding your business and some goober comes into your ask box with shit that's clearly intended to push a button, give it like 24 hours to cool down and decide if it's actually worth it to respond. for me, most of the time I determine that it's not.

don't get me wrong. calling out bad behavior in fandom IS IMPORTANT and SHOULD BE DONE. I just also think it's important to try and find the joy and camaraderie in these spaces as much as possible and that people who try to disrupt that for jollies suck real bad and give a disproportionate perception of "what X fans are like."

in summary, my philosophy is be the best person you can be, be as kind as is warranted, focus on the parts of your fandom that make you happiest, and carry a big stick for when the jerks won't take a hint.

also like. shitting on other characters to prop up your fave is such a freaking middle school move. are you in middle school? if so, I'm sorry. if not, I'm still sorry, but for a different reason.

#bg3 discussion #bg3 discourse #fandom bs #fandom discourse #kitten rambles #more fun less raaah

[genderkoolaid]

Hi! I’m a cis trans ally, and I was wondering about how to word trans reproduction discussions? I want to be as supportive as possible but scared to ask my trans friends.

General tips:

Find the places in your language where things are gendered, and question if that gendering is actually accurate. Women aren't the only ones who can get pregnant, and men aren't the only ones who can impregnate. I'm gonna bold all the places where I change my language to avoid gendering people while being accurate

Get comfortable just naming body parts. Get specific with what does and is affected by what.

Specific things to consider:

Take the sentence "men are trying to control women's bodies." For one, we have the issue of "women's" bodies; there are people who aren't women who are affected by having their bodies controlled. But you also have "men," which not only refers exclusively to cis men* (unless we have some trans male politicians out there making anti-abortion laws), but also ignores the way that gender and power has changed. This stuff is 10000% born out of misogyny and a desired to controlled labeled-female* bodies, centered around the uterus. But in countries where women can have political power and influence, and many cis women directly create and support laws that criminalize uterine autonomy, or create fake abortion clinics or report people for seeking abortions or birth control... its not just cis men doing this. And its important to recognize that no identity or physical condition prevents someone from working against justice and for oppression. Also, in the US, anti-abortion laws tends to come overwhelmingly from a specific political grouping, so I feel like "Republicans" or "conservatives" is just as easy to understand and accurate as "men" here

Also: when talking about individuals, try to ask them how they refer to their body! Some people are fine being called male or female, whereas some people do not feel those describe their sex. & also don't assume anyone's genitals or reproductive capabilities.

Also also: don't be scared! While I'd suggest making sure they are comfortable explaining this subject to you, there's nothing wrong with wanting to better understand how to support people you care about.

*Idk if this is a term thats used a lot, but I would prefer it to AFAB; that only describes what a doctor said you were based on your visible genital situation at birth, which doesn't say a lot about your genitals or organs or how you perform gender NOW. whereas you can be labeled female at any point, and you can even be selectively labeled female (i.e trans women being labeled male on paper but arrested for taking their shirts off in public).

*this is bolded because too often people will use "men" to mean "cis men" even while trying to be trans-inclusive; it is not acceptable. i am speaking directly to you, cis allies of trans people en masse: stop this. stop conflating manhood with cisness and oppressor status. grow you understanding of gender relations a smidge

#m. #ask box

[cock-holliday]

hey not rly a question just saying i appreciate your 2cents on things generally. i am a gnc transfem but am really a boy more than anything so someone looking out for those of us who arent palettably feminine is rly cool of you. a lot of the stuff you mentioned in your long post just now hits at some of the stuff thats making me feel uneasy around some of my transfem friends. i fear if i was fully myself i wouldnt be accepted. i hate to feel too queer for fellow queers, but. but yea anyway most of the time ive known i was trans most of my friends had actually been trans guys so when i hear this anti transmasc rhetoric going around it makes me rly uncomfortable im sick of the idea that trans guys have it easy. its not true and not fair do you fear being not accepted by others like you too? is this normal? idk. i didnt feel this when i came out 5 years ago this is new to me

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with that, and I can relate. Essentially I came out as a binary trans person a decade ago and raced to transition as quickly as possible (it was not fast, it was slow and frustrating) and when I finally got there then I had to endure Gender Crisis 2 where I realized I wasn’t this binary gender either.

It was very difficult to sort out. Did I just not feel special enough as Gender 2? Was I faking this whole time and was really just cis? Was I detransitioning? It took a lot to figure out what I wanted, how I wanted to be seen, and to grapple with the idea that it will continue to fluctuate.

I am masc but do not consider myself a man. Boy, maybe. Do I see myself as a woman? Also no. Girl, maybe. But a masculine girl. I think my boyness is more feminine than my girlness…but still both…butch.

I am trans but not a trans woman or a trans man. While figuring myself out in round two I flirted with transmasc/transfemme as labels, but neither fit better than the other. Or maybe neither fit. I know some use transfemmemasc but idk that I like it for me. I use trans women’s shaving tips. I use trans men’s voice training tips. There are members of both camps who wouldn’t consider me one of them.

I currently work a full-time job. I cannot present or fluctuate in my presentation when I want to. We have gendered locker rooms, gendered bathrooms, my ID badge has a photo that doesn’t look like me. I think a lot about that post that’s like “I might be nonbinary but I have a job so I can’t worry about that right now.” Only, I already know I am nonbinary. I’ve already been out to a lot of people IRL. How do you put that cat back in the bag? Can you? If I was allowed to present how I want now and everyone was cool…will they still be understanding when it swings back the other way? I don’t want that sort of pressure at work.

I am lucky I have a partner who understands and likes my presentation—and spectrum of it. I have trans friends who understand or try to understand, and genderweird friends who get it. It is a bit isolating—how everything is split into one camp or another. Things I supposedly couldn’t relate to I do, things I am not meant to have experienced (or acknowledge I experience) are not welcome topics in trans discourse.

It is difficult! There are huge Boy v Girl (but make it progressive) pissing contests on tumblr and it’s very irritating how deep the anger goes. Carve room for yourself and you’re accused of belonging to the other camp, as if it really even is ‘the other’ camp, it’s the same fucking camp.

I started to identify with the word butch only in the last few years, and because my gender exploration had taken me back to the trans folks of yore. They were brash and bold and contradictory and I liked that! It made me yearn for vague labels and defiant privacy while also being unabashedly authentic! Then I learned that it still exists. It’s small, and got pushed to the fringes, sure. But I’ve only had access to the books and zines and tales of the genderweird from the internet, and to hear it resonate with so many others proves to me we’re still out there.

It’s very tough to want to be true to yourself when there is a constant pressure to conform to something. It’s doubly tough when that pressure comes from other trans people. But finding more and more people who live this way and feel this way makes me feel surer in my choice to just loudly be what I am, fuck the rest, whenever I can.

I cannot always look how I want or be seen how I want, so the spaces where I do have control I refuse to be anything other than what I am 110%

I really hope you can find more and more space that lets you exist in the grey. I hope your friends become more accepting. In the meantime and hopefully continuously in tandem—you are not alone in this experience and others out there understand what it’s like. ❤️

#ask #anon ask

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Thank you for creating this account, you are so brave.

Prefacing: I used to tolerate TS and her music when I was a teen and couldn't really avoid it. Now I'm 25 and I find her abhorrent as a human being.

(I'm not American and where I am from TS was never a Big Hit, unless we're talking 14 year old girls that eventually grow out of liking her. It's not entirely for a good reason, my country's a bit too conservative-brainwashed to like a self-proclained "girl boss" on a gov. level.)

Something that I noticed about that cult-like worship of that frankly boring woman is that most of the interesting shit about her is 1. made up 2. not about her music and I DO NOT understand how this is even considered a singer anymore.

Like, for example. A bunch of liberal queers like her because they take her bland music and fill it with their own meanings. Her lyrics are so soulless and boring and generic you can apply them to anything. You don't have to go listen to staples of quuer music like what drag queens, or queer women, or Black gay men create: because their music is visceral, it speaks onto real lived through opression that not everyone can relate to. But not with fucking TS! She writes the most TYPICAL line and a bunch of people assign some secret gay meaning to it. The amount of times I saw TS added to playlists for queer content is ridiculous. Like she wouldn't be half as popular if her music was regarded as what it is: straight white girl soliloquy.

The shit about her love life? Should not be fucking mentioned in regards to her as an artist. She's SO fucking fake. She will complain that people only see her as some girl who dates all those guys but she's the one fucking monetizing her love story. I'd understand if she didnt TRY TO but she fucking does! She knows she's bland and boring and she relies on people liking gossip enough to listen to her crap.

ok quick note when you said “liberal queers” it should be “queer liberals”. im assuming english isnt your first language so your native tongue has different grammatical rules but in this instance you put “queer” in front of “liberal.” i just don’t want you to be accused of being homophobic or anything so this is a quick note for you

you said you were 25 and everyone who’s been following this blog has been 20+ demographic in particular. i think it must be because we’re old enough to remember her entire journey starting w the 2009 kanye west mtv incident up until this moment. her staunchest swifties on here were born after the fearless release 💀

hmmmm i always wonder what people imply by Taylor Swift being a global superstar. like she’s isn’t popular in the entire continent of Africa but that doesn’t count apparently? and as much as she is popular in south asia, so much news is framed with a western perspective and all westerners think whiteness is default, and this includes taylor swift. i wouldnt be surprised if theyre inflating her popularity abroad as they are here in the states. idk

and so true! she’s known for her controversies and dating drama. even her music is known not for its success but ppl questioning the legitimacy of her grammys she’s received for her music.

also your gaylor hate—i understand. im not straight and i think gaylors were lobotomized by taylor swift’s music like genuinely these bitches have bricks for brains. there are soooooooo many better queer musicians especially musicians of color who write songs of their literal shared experience of queer love, identity, etc. but here they go theorizing that taylor seift and karlie kloss secretly dated 😭 it reminds me of this convo i had with my friend about gay people admiring/looking up to straight and cis people and labelling them as “gay icons.” its so stupid and reductive and continues to marginalize actual queer artists.

also talking abt taylor swift playlists i will never forget when i found spotify’s bad bunny x taylor swift playlist inspired by their photo from the 2023 grammys 💀 it was so dumb

“straight white girl soliloquy” PERIOD ANON! i need to start making a list of what you guys say cause its fkn fire

taylor swift embedded her relationships so deeply into her brand and music that its inseparable from herself. she really does define herself by her partners and her fans do too, which is why they expected this to be a joe alwyn album.

she really is so unoriginal and unremarkable and that’s why her thing WORKS. because to swifties she’s like “another everyday girl like you and me :)” 🙄 whatever. yuck!

#ask #anon #anti taylor swift #relationships #gaylors #taylor swift critical #anti swifties

[zukkaoru]

🍬❄️🪲 for the ask game!! <3

🍬 post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

where do i even begin.. beast s.kk isn't good. fem s.kk also isn't good. actually i don't see the point in shipping beast dazai with anyone. like yes he and chuuya were 100% sleeping together but that is so far from being even slightly relevant. yes i'm still so mad that 95% of beast content is about s.kk when every other character and dynamic in beast is more important than they are. i'm not a big fan of the trans chuuya or trans poe headcanons (unless trusted mutuals are writing it.) i think i do actually hc dazai as genderqueer but i think there's more nuance to it than most people allow.. i think dazai doesn't feel like he's either cis or nonbinary and just doesn't label his gender at all. anyway i could go on bc fanon dazai and chuuya both horrendously slaughter their actual characters and i haven't even touched my other fandoms yet but i will. stop here.

❄️ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

speaking of beast.. i'm still thinking about post-canon beast kunichuu.... as for who would write it best.. idk there aren't exactly an astounding amount of kunichuu writers out there 😭 also i would love to write my own canon!dazai gets transported into the beast world fic bc i'm sure there are fics out there with that premise but i literally don't trust one single other person in this entire fandom to write that. the thing about most of my dream fic ideas is that i need to be the one writing them because i'm the only one who truly understands them since. i came up with them. wait okay more generic premises that i would love to see someone write: kunichuu / kunidazai fake dating, kunichuuzai hanahaki, anything with transmasc gin. i also love a good no-curse au itafushi fake dating fic. i have read a few of those that i've enjoyed but there is always room for more fake dating fics in this world <3

🪲 add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Lucy slams her hands down on the table. “Maybe you should start pulling your weight here, Akutagawa. Aya-chan is orchestrating everything, and I did the dirty work of stealing the notebook. Why can’t you pitch in for once? It’s not like Ranpo-san is going to ask for more than one bottle of Ramune, and I am certain your blood money from the Port Mafia can more than cover that.”

slightly more than fifty words but <3 the chaotic scheming friend group of lucy, aya, atsushi, and akutagawa <3

#okay i answered the first two when i was awake at like 2am so if those answers don't make sense. my bad sddfgfhgjh #ty for the ask!! #lena tag #ask game #we're always on the upswing baby

[crazy-stupid-potato]

this is probably gonna sound insane, and like i’m not genuine or making it up or smth like that, but i’m too tired and unmotivated to be trans.

like, god i want to be a boy, i wish i was born one, i fucking want to be one. but i can’t be bothered? there’s just so many hurdles in the fucking way and i can barely lift my legs up enough to walk let a lone jump a hurdle.

i’d have to tell my family (which is a big one) i’d have to explain to my mum that it’s NOT a phase (i’m fucking 18, nearly 19 ffs) i’d have to explain it to my dad, and deal with my borderline-transphobic brother-in-law. idk how my actual brothers would be. i’d have to explain it to my 16 yr old autistic niece and my 12 yr old autistic nephew and my 5 year old nephew and every fucker else. and not to mention WORK. i don’t think i’d get fired or anything like that but i’d have to actually tell people and have to correct them whenever they fuck up and i just don’t have the energy to do that?

and, like, the actual transitional phase? god, i just can’t be arsed. luckily i’m in the uk so i dont have to worry abt money unlike other people, which i am grateful for, but having yo live two-years as a boy, and then wait on the fucking 6 or smth year waiting list to have ANYTHING done? and what does the living as a man for 2 years even mean??? does that mean i have to wear “boy clothes” and all that shit? can’t i wear a skirt or dress when i wanna and still be classed as a boy? like, what’s the deal there?

and abt wanting to wear a skirt/dress and wear makeup, that just adds a whole ‘nother layer of complicated. i’d have to explain that if cis men can wear makeup and dresses and skirts then why can’t i just because i wasn’t born male? what’s going on there?

i’m just so tired, man. i can’t be alone in this, right? idek why i’m asking, or writing this, if it does get seen, no one will reply and if they do it’ll just be to tell me that i’m faking it or smth.

idk

#trans #transgender #transmasc #ftm #rant #rant post #personal rant #depressing shit

[thousandsofroses]

I just want to say it here because i have nowhere else to say it:

i have had she/they pronouns on my social media bios for like 2 years now at least because i’m afab and not brave enough to say they/she or she/they/he etc etc.

anywayyyys no one ever even uses “they” (classic ppl ignoring the they)

BUT recently THREE ppl have used it in person unexpectedly when referring to me and i cannot explain how seen and held i felt.

and one time i even said “oh she is ok” or “you don’t have to use they if you dont want” and they still did it anyway!!! 😭

the feeling i got just confirmed that i’m not “faking it” i’m actually so genderfluid and finally have been having these precious moments where i feel seen and loved for it for the first time ever and it makes me so emotional

i just need to keep reminding myself i’m valid. even on my girl days when i feel entirely cis and like i’m “faking it”

idk bro it’s so hard to love myself when i can’t even label what gender i am feeling sometimes. it makes me feel like i don’t know who i am, and i can start to feel very isolated from myself. but i just remembered these three moments that have happened and i it’s all i can think about right now i love those people for it❤️

anyway pronouns are important! i pretended publicly like they weren’t important to me but they are and they help me feel like me

#personal rant #genderfluid #queer blog #lgbtq+ #gender queer #queer diary #genderfluid diary #genderfluid things #queer #lgbtq community #genderfluid bisexual #genderfluidity #gender fluid #bisexual #nonbinary #pronoun shy #pronoun check

[thewitchqueenofharrenhal]

You’re getting all of us venting in your askbox, so first thank you! And also, sorry!

I gave the “stop saying Arya is ugly and drawing her nonwhite” crowd a benefit of the doubt and looked at their blogs. It was a lot of vague posting about the “people who call her ugly” but I didn’t see actual posts where they idk “caught” someone doing that. Just talking about how people can’t read, the lack of responds/defending to being called out so Arya stans must be right and all that. Some it seemed they had spoken to people who stopped responding/blocked them which like isn't an admissin of guilt on the responders part but like also they could take it as a win and say we did it?

So I’m not convinced, but I kept going. I saw them complaining about artists depicting Arya as nonwhite. which isn’t bad imo but why did THEY think it is? I wanna know why it’s bad and if I’m wrong. It is apparently (if I’m reading it correctly) it’s an issue going back to the ugly thing and in general dislike of Arya. It is a criticism of depicting the Starks as nonwhite because of their “plain” features. It’s a “pattern” of artists depicting “plainer characters” as nonwhite.

…ok BUT non of the artists claimed that plain=ugly nor that plain=nonwhite, NOR ugly=nonwhite. So it seems like a personal reading/interpretation, which is why people are calling the Arya stans racist. But they claim it's "ignore canon for Arya and uphold canon for Sansa so she can be white" but again, it's like just interpreting a set of characters as nonwhite. and i'll give them that, why don't artist focus on the POCs already in the story? BUT! this is about Arya and the starks. So again stark looking = nonwhite in certain artists interpretations and Tully looking = still white. So why does Arya look the darkest compared to her full blooded siblings? (i think that's the question they're asking?) But again, Arya is the most Stark looking kid Cat birthed... there's the answer.

So is it just hating on artists? (even the BIPOC ones) that are depicting characters in a manner which you don’t personally like/agree with, are "reading the canon wrong", than blocking is a feature meant for you to not see things to upset you.

ok so what else is the complaint? and it went back to the ugly thing. And they're right, Arya is NOT ugly. She's 9-11 so I'm not sure how this is important...

Again, this seems like Arya stans own interpretation of Arya as nonwhite in fanart. So... do they think nonwhite=ugly is my question?

I am admittedly a coward and do not want to ask them this off of anon so I will not but I don't think they get that that's how they come across. Like yes thanks for compiling a list of the times Arya is listed as pretty in the canon.... what does that have to do with fanart depicting her as looking different than her mother and sister (when canonically she ... looks different than her mother and sister)??????

??????????

Feel free to vent 🤝🩷

To my understanding no one is actually trying to call a literal fictional child ugly. People just pushed back on the recent which honestly actually sounds tradwife-ish narrative being pushed around Arya Stark. The narrative being that she will be the most feminine cis girl in the world and have tons of heterosexual sex with a bunch of strong masculine men and if you don’t agree with that you’re actually a fake fan at least that’s what the so called real Arya fans claim.

Yeah I don’t know where the narrative came from that the Starks are ugly. We know it’s established they have a “northern look” that Arya, Ned, Jon, Lyanna have and Sansa,Robb, Bran etc don’t. I don’t recall there ever being an implication of them being ugly.

The North also faces xenophobia from the rest of Westeros they are established to be “othered” with Dorne. So why it would be far fetched for non white artists to see themselves in House Stark is beyond me. Again no one is claiming House Stark to be white. They’re simply seeing themselves in their favorite house. Its so vile to me to see them screaming about “blackwashing” that’s not a real thing and it’s fucking disgusting to see.

Ultimately anon they’re just reactionaries. This is a fandom that hasn’t had a new book in over 12 years and everyone is just stewing. I would curate your fandom experience to the most peaceful it can if you’re gonna be a part of the asoiaf fandom lol and I’m sure you know that if you’ve been here a while.

#anon

[decoysender]

Public healthcare fucking sucks, at least in my country.

I come in to this supposed psychiatrist, there is another person (who later leaves), the radio is playing. One of the first things he asks me is whether I came to not get drafted. When I get to actually describing what I have, I tell him that I suspect I might have ocd and he asks what it is, and when I try to describe it, he's making a face as if I'm telling a joke. I also mentioned that I have trouble concentrating and thought it might not be laziness, and essentially that didn't go anywhere. He asked me where I study, for some reason (I guess to check my academic pressure?), asked how many school years I had and how well I studied back there, started asking whether I drink and making remarks suggesting I should, though maybe it was a "psychiatrist trick", idk. He also asked whether I smoked drugs, and that was a no too, he even asked whether I've never been offered something like this.

For the most part I sat silent, he was typing god knows what, he finally gave me a paper saying I can come to psychologist, and then he'll see what he can do on a follow-up session.

And quite frankly, fuck that, this was miserable and humiliating experience.

Also I wanted to continue this post by saying that I fucking deserved it, because I literally don't have any mental illnesses, and I also wanted to add that I'm faking being trans, because before the session I've continued reading dysphoria bible. But I chose to finish this post only after reading the "Am I Trans?" chapter. And you know what? I'm completely cis, like almost nothing was relatable in chapters on dysphoria, but that sole chapter made me feel like I actually may be trans, despite wish to transition only coming when I'm horny, meaning it's just a fetish.

I also wanted to say that I'll be leaving this website for indefinite amount of time or maybe forever and that I hate myself and I'm sorry to all people who interacted with me and that all I've managed to do is make friends only to push them away because of my egoism and narcissism.

But hey, I might be trans, I thought I would've swooped this in with the wave of self hatred, but after having a walk and then discovering this, I guess I won't be saying all those bad things, there is actually something good about today.

[transenbyconfessions]

Im afab and i think im genderfluid?? I don’t really know. I can’t tell if I’m feeling dysphoria or just discomfort or just self consciousness or if I’m faking all of this. as a kid I was fine with being a girl and stuff but now I really want to be a boy?? but I still kinda like dresses and stuff. I just can’t express how much I want to look like a boy and be pretty the way boys are pretty but I don’t wanna call myself trans because what if I’m faking it. I wanna go on T but I don’t wanna regret it. Im 14 and ik the longer I wait the less effective it will be like the less it will change stuff but idk. I also can’t tell if my attractions to people are actually attraction or just gender envy/aesthetic attraction. I think I’m ace but I’m also hesitant to call myself that because what if I’m wrong or faking it??

I don’t really feel dysphoria I think so maybe I am just faking it.

sorry this was a really long ask

I just really wanna look like a cis boy

#trans #transgender #nonbinary #non binary #non-binary #nb #enby #genderfluid #dysphoria #gender dysphoria #transitioning #hrt #hormone replacement therapy #transmasculine #transmasc

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Self Indulgent Unrelated to Fic Content

@itsstereksterek tagged me in this and I thought...

25 fun and cute questions to brighten the spirits and get us through the holidays!

Hiya all! I’ve created this list as a reminder of happy memories and great times with our loved ones since I think we’re all feeling a tad blue this holiday season. Tagging my favourite blogs but all are welcome to answer :)

Best gift you’ve ever gotten: my husband sent me on a scavenger hut to get the new HP book. (back before we knew about Joann.) It was so cute and he put so much work in it.

Nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you: I try to notice lots of nice things people do and be grateful. I think sometimes just someone touching you and saying are you ok?

Your favourite holiday memory:  Parades make me cry. In a furiously happy way. IDK man. It happens. But our city has a big Thanksgiving day parade and we use to go all the time and just feeling safe to be myself enough with my family is always a good memory.

Where you want to go first once we can travel again: I don't get to travel much anyway, but I've always wanted to go to Eastern Europe.

Your spirit animal: This isn't a good phrase to use. Let's strike it from our vocabulary.

Your OTP: That's not cool. Arthur/Eames were my first. Sterek is my longest and Steddie has recently had me in it's grips. How do you pick one?

Tumblr pals you want to meet in real life: It would be so fun to have an Eyebrows meet up right?

Soulmates: real or fake: fake. it's much harder than that.

Favourite holiday food: chorizo stuffing

What you wish you were doing right now: I'm pretty good actually.

Your safe space/where or who you feel most at home with: I feel happiest at home with a book and my fam.

Favourite hobbies: reading, tumblr-ing

Cooking or baking: baking. Fun fact I went to patisserie school.

Reading or writing: both, but reading is easier cause someone else has already done all the work.

Gifsets or mood boards: i like both. I can't make either so I'm impressed by the work people do for both.

Coffee or tea: coffee

City or suburbs: I've never lived in a suburb.

Someone who can always make you laugh: my husband.

Someone who always brightens your day: my doggo, Oso.

Favourite day of the week: I don't really have one. Any day I am off?

Favourite animal: sloths!

Dream vacation spot: a place where i can lay around and read.

Writer, artist, or creator(s) you want to see more of:  I always want more queer content and/or POC content. Especially in spaces that are dominated by white cis men. LIke sci fi and fantasy.

Favourite movie, television show, and song: The Thing, The Good Place, and right now it's Curses by The Crane Wives

Feel free to do it yourself! And tag me so I can get to know ya'll

#shameless self promotion #just me #best followers ever

[parfaitpuppymogai]

[[ OLD PINNED - OUTDATED ]]

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ₓ˚. ୭ ○◦˚. .˚ₓ☆ soft fuzzy mogai ｡･:*:,｡･ﾟ☆

♡ intro & tagz, boundariez, byi, dni ♡

reqs: 0/0 - inbox closed (⁠´⁠∩⁠｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡⁠∩⁠`⁠)

(art by aimkidblast, i dont support her beliefs regarding endos though.)

hello there!! my namez r everett, modify & fuzzy, n thiz iz my mogai blog!! i primarily uze neoz + they/them primary, and my secondary priority iz he/it!!

im nonbinary (demiboy/genderfaun/paraboy/idk + many many xxenoz)!!

sexuality wize, im vincian/gay (nwlnw), and aspec & arospec!! :3c

(yes i use the green and blue flag, and i will never not use it. if you dont like it block me.)

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ i will do ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆,｡･:*:･ﾟ,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

♡ coining (💕 a trick of the light to love you tonight)

♡ coining reqs (💝 although i have no arms to hold you in)

♡ themed gender liztz (💖 im not like other guys who have a surface)

♡ moodboardz/ztimboardz (💓 a shimmering puff of indistinct love)

♡ iconz (💞 whats better than the vague embrace of a soft fuzzy man?)

♡ pronoun/name suggeztionz & checkz (💌 i know it sounds crazy)

♡ chatting/misc poztz (💗 so please baby please baby step into the mist!)

♡ reblogging thingz from my old acc that im ztill proud ov (🍥 ghost town)

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ i will KNOT do ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

♡ anything 2 do with groupz im not apart ov

♡ coining 4 harmvul/hatevul identities (exx. dream minecraft sexual, clovergender, etc)

♡ anything on the blacklizt

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ boundariez ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

♡ due 2 my anxxiety involving death threatz n hate mezzagez n the like, i do not allow anon azkz, srry ómò (thdr@m@s amirite...) iv u want to req something anonymouzly plz dm me it!!

♡ i haz a topic blacklizt which basically has everything i revuse 2 make terms based on, plz do not suggest anything on the topic blacklizt!!

♡ le dni appliez 2 anyone who fits it, idc iv ur public abt it or not

♡ iv ur on my dni plz do not uze my termz, and do not recoin/"reclaim"/baztardize them!! (n plz do not complain abt it to me iv u r pro-endo. u already haz tonz ov alternative labelz 2 use az most ov the mogai community iz unvortunately pro-endo.)

♡ u can repozt my termz p much anywhere, EXCEPT 4 fandom wikiz. but PLZ credit me and specify that i do not want endoz uzing my termz!! (exx. "coined by softfuzzyaemogai on tumblr. the coiner is uncomfy with nontraumagenic systems using their terms.")

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ b4 u interact ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆*:･,｡･:ﾟ☆

♡ i do not tag/cw swearing/provanity, however i do tag/cw reclaimed slurz.

♡ i am a furry, iv ur uncomvy w that plz just fucking block me.

♡ iv u bring up anything on the topic blacklizt towardz me plz censor it!! /srs

♡ plz uze tone tagz when interacting

♡ iv ur gonna dm me abt anything, plz put an underztandable intro (like your virzt mezzage, or the mezzage zubject, etc). i wanna know what the mezzage iz abt,, zeeing "(no zubject)" or "we need to talk" makez me rlly anxiouz

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ do not interact iv u... ｡･:*☆:･,｡･:ﾟ☆

♡ know me irl

♡ are already on bad termz w me

♡ vall under bazic dni criteria

♡ are friends w anyone on my people blacklizt. i literally CANNOT trust u iv u r :(

♡ arent gay but still engage in gay flag discourse or have "x flag users dni"

♡ you go by the namez mentioned in my topic blacklizt

♡ dream/dsmp fans

♡ dhmis avatars (regular fanz r ok, but those w avatars vrom the show make me super uncomvy)

♡ uze wrath neopronounz, such as wra/wrath/wraths. someone with those neoz haz traumatized me & it's like one ov my biggest triggerz.

♡ are tolerant/a fan ov 4ch*n, l*lc*w, kiwif*rms, etc. im zurprized thiz iznt under bazic criteria

♡ headcanon lgbt characterz as thingz they arent. for example, headcanoning a canonically gay man as a nonbinary lesbian

♡ are a lgbt f*tsihiz*r (straight ppl who read yaoi, cis ppl who like "traps/f*mb*ys", etc)

♡ are a lgbt exclus ov any kind (ex. dont think asexxualz belong in the community, think xxenogenderz r "the reason cishetz think actual trans ppl r faking", etc)

♡ heavily r*lig*ous

♡ find thingz about me obnoxiouz to the point where you feel the need to talk about it

♡ my zpecial intereztz are a trigger/dizcomvort vor you

♡ into g*recore/h*tecore

♡ fans ov fucked up media (ex. fnf vs /v/-tan mod, alfr*ds pl*yhouse)

♡ fans ov my triggerz (i wont list them publicly 4 my own savety, but i will block u myselv iv i vind out)

♡ you think cisphobia, heterophobia, racism against whites, etc. iz an actual problem

♡ you think women can be vincian/vincians can like women, or that men can be lesbians/lesbians can like men (this includes demiboy lesbians/demiboy gays)

♡ you make jokez abt traumatic things (ex. "this song slaps harder than my dad") (those who have that trauma n use humor to cope r ok)

･:*:･ﾟ☆,｡･:*:･ﾟ,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆･:*,｡･ﾟ,｡･:*:,｡･ﾟ☆,｡･:*:,｡･ﾟ

here iz my dni banner, it doeznt have my vull dni but doez have thingz that i believe r the mozt important. the "ae" in my name literally meanz "anti endo" so itz not my vault iv an endo reblogz it.

#dont rb plz

[a-trench-coat-of-confused-worms]

hi idk who you are you dont know who i am (i hope) but i found you on a post where you mentioned in the replies that you identify as nonbinary AND as your agab and i didnt feel it was appropriate to start this conversation in the replies of that post but i love it. youre simultaneously trans and cis and i love that for you thats so cool. sorry if this is weird i just love learning about peoples "weirder" gender experiences

Nah that's alright I actually kinda appreciate it if that makes sense bc I get that it doesnt make sense and a majority of people who have had a problem with it try to tell me that I'm not actually trans and that I'm faking it for clout which kinda sends me into a spiral lmao but like yeah I'm a women but not really but sure lmao I was socialized as a woman and I love being a woman but I'm not a women in the traditional sense I'm a nonbinary woman and I love that for me lol but I really appreciate this anyways I hope you have a great rest of your day friendo:))

[9ragonmew]

(っ´ω`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)

So yeahhhhh

obviously i knew i was gay from like the age of idk ? 5,,6?? i'd say 5.

Ive come out as lesbian more times than I can count, but certain life circumstances have forced me back into the closet or made me feel like i had to change my label so many times. My ex committing suicide, my family abandoning me so i had to pretend to be into men, to get back to the city, being in fake love, needing a place to live,, etc. etc.

I love girls. I love trans women. I love theys and thems. I love he/they women, I love nb & they/she women. Agender, ppl who use neo's, gnc ppl, But i just cant seem to find myself attracted to men. men are not what i like.

My partner is Agender like me. They do not participate in gender because they described it as a social restriction that has not been helpful, and in fact more often than not, used to hurt people. Which I 100% agree with. My partner is masculine presenting, and we've had talks in which Ive expressed to them that I'm not attracted to men. They then said,, well how would you know? If you seen a random person on the street who was attractive how would you know they were cis? To which i replied - Anyone can be physically attractive to me. If I saw an attractive person on the street and I was interested I would simply befriend them, and literally just ask how they identify. Its about the romantic attraction for me. I'm not romantically attracted to men.

If a feminine presenting person wearing a skirt and heels came to me and said oh yeah im actually a man! (trans or not) id be like oh helllllllllll yeah bestie you sure are!!! but thats where my romantic attraction would end.

I just feel like I am a non man loving non men.. lesbian. ive seen the term 'nblw' or 'nblnb' idk IDK this took a lot of energy to explain I just needed to get this energy out.

#personal #lgbtqia