#idk how active itll be

[cryptid-moose]

Some Shawn doodles feat. Gus

#forest fumbles #forest draws #Shawn Spencer #burton guster #psych #would Shawn wear a sleeveless turtleneck? absolutely not #did I draw him in one anyways? #of course i did 💥💯✨💅🦅💪🍍✨💥 #I’m not gonna be active for a bit so I decided to post some art before I dip lol #my mental health has kinda been spiraling to a level that im not really used to #so im gonna be taking a break from social media #AND THIS TIME ITLL ACTUALLY BE A BREAK ISFVBHUEVHFU i wont just dip for 30 hours #and come back with absolutely no progress purely because i was too bored lmao #cause if this does lead to a mental breakdown like i feel its going to i dont want that on the internet for all to see FHUDVHBVEU #cause that would be like- majorly embarrassing 🤢 huvefbhuvefbhu #ive already gone a teensy bit bananas on here i dont need ppl seeing the whole basket lmao #if u reblog pls dont make tags referring to the tags i made about my mental health #like i appreciate the sentiment 100% but idk how i feel about other ppls followings knowing im having a moderate crisis rn lmao #im not even comfortable with the entirety of my following knowing thats why i kept this all under the see all thingy #if that even makes sense #okay i need to stop adding more train of thought tags its not healthy suhfvhuefvuhe #anyways bye bestiessss 🤙

[arts-i-enjoy]

AHHHHHH

#this post brought to you by: me #i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses #i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP #like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready #anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT #and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk #and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message #even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL #AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!! #i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year #i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17? #ive had a good well paying job since i was 18. #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job #which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind #so theres no point staying here. #i might never have this kind of job security again. #but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something #on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now #on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT #but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to #richard started yelling and swearing el oh el #might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible? #but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option #the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going #idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks #this is why i want to get out of here #also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about #not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey! #if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!

[poor-ciceros-voring-again]

This is pretty neat so far I think. It's nice to be able to see how everyone is connected so far

#pink ones are all my ocs btw #im defs gonna add like other important canon characters and stuff to this too. and ?? i have to figure out how quinn is connected to the #others. same with amaranth. i never thought about it much ? #amaranth might be connected to alyx via the thieves guild but I'd like to think its a totally legal business relationship #cause amaranth doesnt deal in criminal activity much #and quinn is uhh. they mantled Sheogorath in 3e so idk how they could POSSIBLY have met anyone else #i mean. alyx and niveria were born in 3e so ??? maybe ????? but idk #cause quinn was born in the Shivering Isles #you can ask about any of them btw itll help me actually make deeper lore for them probs

[dromaeo-sauridae]

-

#i think once i get my bank account in my name i will do commissions. maybe just a few #idk when that will be. its a source of active contention rn #and im definitely not in a spot to push it #this is so frustrating #idk if its divine karma or what #but nothing is going my way #ugh. ily guys but please dont ask to send money to me— im scared that itll get noticed if i accept #i try to use cash for everything to stay off redacted’s radar #so…… yanno #idk when i’ll be able to have everything in my name #im beginning to think theyre going to keep this stuff from me til i can move out #but nobody will hire me #i cant count how many job applications ive sent #they keep dangling the string above me saying come in for another app do you want a second interview we’ll be in touch #then they ghost me or say nvm #atleast i can watch people’s fucking dogs. every few months #ig im not completely hopeless #but my food and gas wont pay for its fucking self #im hungry man #at least my aunt orders pizza for us

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation? #uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made #friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go #bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple #the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula #for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b #concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown #its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a #healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take #more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end #of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me #and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this #project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data #bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i #just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem #bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping #ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and #classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die #my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday #who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio #majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes #b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative #ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week #until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad #who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we #die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him #its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of #sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol #whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄 #unrelated

[bbqhooligan]

sad to report there is no way of hating your body without going "before you criticize your X always remember, your X wont change but your friends with X will see this" no peace no nothing cant a guy hate parts of their body without hurting anyone

#mypost #its not even hurting it transformed into. like. #''you cant passionately hate this specific part of yourself because of 1-people who have that 2-people living meaningful lives w that #3-people whose personhood you wouldnt disrupt with such a remark #because they cant lose value they cant lose ''beauty'' because its not something you see its something you get to know #and YOU of all people should know this shouldnt you. #so why are you so fixated on this. isnt ones humanity residing in their brain and attached nervous system.'' #but how. while i both actively try to AND also instinctually see past ones mortal vessel. mine. ah #okay i see #ahh #alright #okay i need to be dissolved in acid #lmao #problem solved guys #ill try to be kinder #idk how itll work but ill try

[bambi-lesbian-posts]

I would love it if I could do some cleaning tomorrow before my night class but. So far that hasn't been working out well. I did however start my jellyfish parasol project and it's going a lot better than expected, I just kinda started throwing things together and it actually! Is working! I'm happy with that much at least. Hopefully I can get it done soon

#i dont know im in a weird funk #i desperately want to talk and share things about what im doing lately but i also. just dont wanna talk to anyone. #i think im sad #i dunno #i cant figure anything out im just kinda upset that im being productive yet not producing a large amount of results?? or like. #im doing activities but i cant do EVERYTHING and maybe thats frustrating me #im just exhausted so i do one thing and then i rest for a long time #idk #ive had the last 3 days off work as well so i cant wait to see how itll go when i work again

[marklikely]

netflix is genuinely so funny theyre like yes we are raising prices yes we will no longer let you share your account with your family but hey look on the bright side at least our original content is not very good.

#'why are we losing money!!' #avpost #when they were like we've decided to stop working with talent like martin scorsese. literally so funny #not only is our content mostly bad we are going to actively avoid making good things. if we do itll get canceled on sight dont even worry. #im not even sure i can give them tips on how to fix this either bc the streaming economy is a shambles #but idk it seems like most other streaming services aren't doing AS bad as them. #except hbo max they get the award for fastest destruction of a promising platform. #aside from them a lot of these big services are getting More reputable. it seems #people seem to love hulu. peacock somehow has fans. even tubi has found its niche in the camp and bad movies community.

[pepprs]

ok mutuals i have a predicament. i probably posted abt this but in october this guy reached out to me bc my former prof gave him my name.. he works an arts center in my state and they desperately need someone to be a graphic designer / social media consultant for this one program they do. it would be paid (i get to determine my salary but i have no idea how much ppl get paid for this kinda thing) and i’d work for like 5-7 hrs a week remotely by designing / formatting stuff, drafting text, selecting photos, etc.. and it sounds mildly interesting but also im really hoping that work tag 2 will be a 40 h/w situation in a couple weeks time LMFAOOOOO so idk if i would be like overloading myself if i had this one job and then did another on the side. i could do it if it was like 1 hr a day after i get home maybe but also that sounds like it would be so annoying and burdensome if i get tasked w this thing that i don’t rly care abt.. sigh. so uhm does anyone have experience w this kind of thing and what should i do lol

#purrs #part of me wants to do this solely so that my parents will let me go for the work tag 2 job and not think that im limiting myself or #whatever lol. bc this job would be what they think i want to do / should do and then at work tag 2 #i would be doing what i want to do. but it’s only 1-2 hours and i would be making extra money and interacting w new ppl which would be good #but then it’s like how do i get out of it if im unhappy. im really worried i would be unhappy bc it’s sitting there designing posts and itll #be for stuff i like sorta care about but not the stuff i REALLY care about. but also i would be working towards getting out of the house #faster (by earning more $ than i would ordinarily) and also making my parents happy by broadening my horizons. so i think i should do it but #idk. they must be really desperate bc i literally ghosted the guy in oct bc i was so overwhelmed which i feel bad abt bc he seems rly nice #and chill but… idk UGHHHH this is stressful. i think i should do it but if it becomes burdensome i’ll hate myself for it but it’s only an #hour and it might be better than i think it would be. idk. what do u think 😩 #part of it is like omg i wanted to have nothing but work tag 2 to worry about for SO LONG and now that im on the brink of that im… actively #considering throwing in another thing to focus on? like are you stupid? but idk lollll #OH I FORGOT TO MENTION lol so i ghosted him in oct and then he just followed up a couple weeks ago saying the position is open and basically #offering it to me and saying we can talk abt next steps LOL. so that’s why i said they must be desperate and that’s why im posting abt it rn

[taptrial2]

hi i made a sonic sideblog @themetalvirus hee hee hoo hoo

#it has nothing on it yet but its where i'll be directing my reblog spam #idk how active itll be after the initial Special Interest Gorging Phase passes #but itll also be a daydream repository and such as well as doodles maybe #we shall see. either way i think shadow is a funny little guy #exoticbutterstxt

[raidante]

https://gl00myrabbbit.tumblr.com/ friend wanted to do ask blogs again but for league yordles so if anyones interested in furry goth art

#txt #idk how active itll be just for fun

[dbssh]

old habits die hard.

#red.png #ajaposting #really anjoying drawing shitty angsty teen aj next to a more well-adjusted grown up aj. #i think im settling on letting most of the stitches go #i like that it gives her more of an. idk like a visual indicator that shes more of a whole person. she knows who she is more. #i like the idea of her having a nervous tick and picking at the one on her wrist though #brought to u by the guy who picks at stuff gang #also just in general im trying to reframe her presence and personality #make her seem less like actively freaking out all the time and more like. #someone whose actually lived like this for a long time and is pretty okay with it now #i think if she has a more chill baseline itll make her spirals more apparent and significant #also you can super tell which ones of these i did 2nd because theyre way more polished #and the keen-eyed among you might notice im messign with how im drawing ajas hair AGAIN #i like the idea of aja becoming a much more complete; relaxed; confident person while victor is like nearly exactly the same

[protobrieile]

the worst part of being reminded of field music is that I go and see what other folks are saying about them and have to deal with the fact that. like. not many people actually know anything about them or their history beyond the surface

#let it be semi-publicly known that field music are still and will likely always be my personal no1 band of all time. ever #and that my lack of listening to them has nothing to do with bitterness (well since like a year ago now) and everything to do with the fact #that whenever i listen to any of their projects (ESPECIALLY SOME OF THEM) i just get. So Fucking Happy and it always shakes me up the same #which means that im not going to actively listwn to them again until im certain that ive worked through all my self sabotaging tendencies #that i was always able to cover up from the. 'high' i feel when i listen to them. #which like honestly. im probably a lot closer to that point than i let myself believe but yknow. better safe than sorry #i mean the part of the issue not specifically within my own personal control has been dealt with and healed over on my end so idk. #the other side is not up to me though so ill just do my own thing and itll work out how it needs to. like always

[fear-no-mort]

theyre going to kill me one day

#this is my favourite type of post to make just a big bundle of all my recent scribbles of them #also my rnm hyperfixation Is dying and im scared because idk if itll return #because unfortunately i do have a few where i only hyperfixate once and then afterward it just doesn’t do it for me #but tbh i dont think this is one of those cases. rnm makes me so unbelievably happy and overcome with so many emotions and hyper at the mer #thought of it and i just love it fundamentally and i love all the characters n their relationships and how cool all the shows concepts are #its a Good Show. fine. #but yeah. i have a ton of drafts still but i definitely am not gonna be as active as i am now forever. that’s impossible #pretty much my only guarantee is i Will be here for season 8 and every season after that. absolutely without a doubt #even if idont hyperfixate on the show or even if i dislike it in the future ill always be here #oh and also ill love these two forever and ever they mean so much to me. but that’s a given #rick and morty #odieart #odiespeak

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Shocking. When you don't spend all your time doing something miserable and draining, your outlook on life isn't quite so bleak.

#i have to go back to photosynthesis measurements tomorrow #and it really is like making a blood sacrifice. i have to subject myself to x amount of pain and in return i get lots of data #like its so stressful that its hard to start once i stop bc when im in it i just keep moving #but once i stop my body remembers how awful it is and is like pls nooooo #so yesterday and today are dedicated to adjusting my mind to the idea of being in pain #which is to say working normal hours in preparation for a crazy schedule for the next 3 weeks or so #i got like 4hrs of sleep last night. prob part stress and part my tummy hurt :-( #idk if that's also a product of stress or not but i didnt appreciate it #sigh... it was a nice 2 weeks of not having to take measurements #maybe itll be fine this time tho. maybe maybe #my mum ordered me new headphones so maybe i dont have to sit around with static brain for 2 weeks #fingers crossed my machines dont break #ugh its so bad. we will never tell my boss how bad it is bc she would feel bad #but it is actively pushing me out the door on this lab sigh... #but also makes me too depressed to look for a new pi for a phd #unrelated

[plaguethewaters]

nay this shan't be true

#aka how the hell am i anxious over a TUMBLR ASK #like yeah yeah maybe it couldbe been a little rude to just ask someone idk to help me yknow #but like theyre in the fandom and theyre famoliar woth ao3 fics #and theres like three ppl total that are active on that ship what am i meant to do despair? #also i applogised like seven times in thw ask itself it cant be that bad lol #at most theyll pity me but i dont think itll be that deep #yeah sure anxiety resolved 👍