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#idk how im still alive
souvenirmp3 · 5 months
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all i wanna say is pete was smiling singing along to hum hallelujah good night everyone peace and love on planet earth
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fandomtheferret · 4 months
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Guess who's moving tomorrow!?
*Sobbing* Me... it's me.
Tomorrow is gonna be a long ass day so I probably won't even check Tumblr until later in the afternoon or evening.
Today I have to pack my clothes and finish finding places to shove things, and washing things.
The amount of tears I expect to shed... just so many.
I'm coping by watching Pirates of the Caribbean. I have to rewatch the third now.
Anyways, that's what's up, and wish me luck that this doesn't all fall through and screw me over! 😃
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tmnt-obsessed-ace · 6 months
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So instead of writing the last five hundred words of chapter one I
Played with my dog emma
Took a shower because my hair was gross and it made my skin scrawl everytime I touched it
Realized I havent eaten since ELEVEN AM and made two sandwiches
Said sandwiches got stuck on the toaster tray because I was dumb and didn't spray it with cooking spray so I had to spend five minutes trying to pry those fuckers off with a spatula without ruining them
Brain will literally do anything besides WRITE
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slaughterlmao · 7 months
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seeing mentally healthy middle schoolers is SO confusing to me like bro?? wheres the burnout? wheres the depression? suicidal thoughts? self destructive behavior? why are you so sane and normal
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fitfdeluxe · 2 years
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how are feeling about the pink!!! he's amazing he should wear it more
IM LOSING IT!!!!!!!!!
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redactedonyt · 3 months
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unicyclingdogs · 4 months
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sky!!! 💙💙💙 I tried out a new coloring style here and tried to put less emphasis on line art, and I really liked how it turned out!!! :)
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crow-with-a-pencil · 7 months
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Hi @naffeclipse I'm very normal about your fic. Have some frantic midnight sketches as extra kudos along with some tag rambling :)
#my ârt#crush depth#crush depth spoilers#fnaf#tw blood#tw drowning#idk how many others apply#anyways this is midnight crow coming out of the shadow realm to scream at you#first of all a cs ramble is on the way I'm still recovering from that fic too#im biting you naff im biting you so dang hard#I don't even know much about iron lung besides watching a play through but damn do you make me want to know more#just. where do I even start. the atmosphere is established so well and even though there was such a small space to work with I FELT it#I felt the claustrophobia I felt the walls and the console and the single dim lightbulb as my only solace in this death trap#the THOUGHTS#poor yn had so much time to just get lost in their head and spiral pretty much constantly#the dread. the constant overhanging dread of knowing there's a 99% chance they're not getting out of there alive and at this point#they just want to accept it and let it end bc there's hardly anything to go back to if they live#naff. look at me. reading some parts made my chest actually tighten with dread. it was so well done.#this poor human just buried in existential horror and just wanting it to end in a slightly less painful way#and the unknowable beings trapped outside who absolutely REFUSE to let that happen#god those eldritch fish were trying their hardest but just couldn't get in#yn was trapped inside while they were trapped outside and I just#I am EXPLODING the more I think about it#thinking about when they thought they were drowning and tried to breathe again#wanting to die but still having that instinct to survive#asking to be ripped apart but still cherishing their last breath of air#I'm shaking you I'm shaking you I'm dying on the floor#ough.#I'll never mentally recover from this and I want you to know I genuinely get inspired by your writing#this has been midnight crow ramblings. I just hit the tag limit. have a lovely night.
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summerlycoris · 4 months
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Puhpandas had a great idea recently (glitchtrapped Tony.) And I wanted to take a stab at the concept.
More specifically at the "What happens after." bit. Hint- Tony gets lost and ends up back near his old house.
Under a readmore because it could be triggering if you've been physically assaulted before. There's feelings in this that could touch on nerves.
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He'd traced his steps, along a familiar road. Now he stood on the street, facing his old house. He felt all dazed, and confused.
Why?
Everything hurt- his back, his stomach, his neck, his arms. And something bad had happened to him. His head ached, but not nearly as much as his heart ached. 
'... Because it's not my home, it's their home, and I'm wanted no more…'
He couldn't go home. Because it wasn't his home anymore. It was someone else's now. He couldn't remember how to get to his Grandma's from here. He couldn't remember a lot of things.
(He didn't want to remember.)
What had happened? He'd gone to the pizzaplex? Gregory had been there? 
Did someone jump me on the way home?
He knew what really happened. But he couldn't believe it- didn't believe it- it hurt too much- He could feel something poking around inside his mind. Something he'd been trying to ignore. 
He didn't cry. Or sob. He just hurt. 
Get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head-
He was on the swings suddenly, in the park that sat down between their street, and the next street over. He hummed a song absent-mindedly. One of those old songs that Grandma would play on her old record player. A song that his Mom sometimes sang along to.
I'm missing time? Did I got abducted by aliens?
Ellis would laugh with him about it next week, when they'd meet up at school again.
They used to play here a lot, when they were in elementary school together. Pretending the playground was a pirate ship. That the floor was a crocodile infested river- so you'd have to jump from circle to circle, never landing on the soft blue floor. Making the merry-go-round spin so fast, that they both would get thrown off it after a dizzy spell, and collapse to the ground laughing and carrying on-
It just made his heart ache more. His brain pounding against his skull.
He kicked his legs uselessly. He wasn't swinging. Not really. Just sitting. Just trying not to be still. He wasn't going anywhere.
The playground didn't have any lights that stayed on at night. It wasn't that kind of playground, where you'd need to worry about teens going there and doing bad things in the dark. This was a good part of town. Nothing bad could happen here. 
The only lights were distant street lamps, and the starlight filtering down.
What time is it?
Tony had a watch. Had a watch- it was missing now. So was his entry pass to the pizzaplex.
Did someone mug me?
He also had a different shirt than he'd worn to school- a Bonnie longsleeve? Hadn't they stopped selling these? Where did he get it?
Did someone… reverse mug me??
The sun was starting to rise in the distance. He could understand why they'd given him a new shirt- his old one. That had... gotten stained, hadn't it?
How long have I been here?
His arms and belly felt weird. He lifted his shirt and sleeves to look at them. Well... He wasn't gonna stain his new shirt, at least. He stopped looking- it just made him feel queasy.
Lights were coming on in the houses, one by one. He could see a light on over at Ellis's house, through the back yard. 
He could go there. And they could have breakfast together. They could pretend they'd had a sleepover together, like old times. Ellis could loan him a sleeping bag. A watch. A new head. And nothing bad would have happened to him and there would be nothing weird poking around in his head and his heart would stop aching and-
And Ellis's Mom was there. Standing in front of him.
How long has she been there?
He started a little, nearly falling backwards before clutching the chains tighter. 
"Tony- It's okay. It's Olivia, do you remember me?" She had her hands in front of her, in a way that should probably have been calming. 
He caught his breath, and felt panic start to ease out of him. He nodded. And she seemed to relax a little, too. 
"Oh, good. Sweetie- listen. I've rang your Mom. She's on her way now. And so are the police. Okay?" She looked at him intently, and kneeled down in front of him. While he kicked his legs and stared off into the distant sky. The stars were going out.
"Tony? Did you hear me?"
"Um. Yes. Sorry Mrs Martinez." 
He couldn't look at her. This is so embarrassing. Having to be picked up by his Mom like this. Had he and Ellis broken another vase trying to play skip rope indoors? That was a silly thing to do, Tony. You know better-
He could feel her eyes looking through him. 
"Do you… want to talk about it, sweetie?"
He shook his head frantically, and choked out "No- no- no-"
"Hey, sweetie. It's okay. You're okay now. Everyone was so worried about you…" 
Why?
She looked at him so pitifully. Had he said that out loud?
A car pulled up, on his old street. A familiar car. Mom's car. 
And she was there. So quick, he'd barely seen her race up to him. He thought she'd grab him, and swing him around in a spinney-hug. She used to do that, when he was little. 
Instead she stopped next to Mrs Martinez. It looked like she'd been crying earlier. She was still crying. 
His head kept hurting. Pounding in a rhythm now. He couldn't take it much longer-
She couldn't get any words out. Mouth gaping open like a fish's would. But he could get the message- What happened to you?
He went to answer, but felt… sleepy. Really sleepy. He was gonna fall off this swing any second-
But he didn't fall. Instead he heard his voice talking to his Mom. It sounded strange to him. Like he was listening underwater…
"Mom, I… I lost track of time at the pizzaplex. It got dark, and someone h-hurt me when I was walking home… please don't be mad…"
He went to sleep as Mom pulled his imposter into a hug.
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reyesstrand · 11 months
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thinking about being alive being gwyn’s favourite song. thinking about her singing it, along with her lullabies, to tk—as he grew up, as they faced tragedy they could never imagine, as tk faced loss and grew distant and turned to other means of drowning out the noise. thinking about gwyn loving tk so ferociously and fiercely and wholly right to the end. thinking about gwyn saving tk by taking him to rehab and owen beginning the process of saving him for good by taking him to austin and gwyn saving jonah in the last moments of her life.
thinking about being alive and “somebody crowd me with love / somebody force me to care / somebody let me come through / i’ll always be there / as frightened as you / to help us survive / being alive” and how it’s literally the tarlos thesis. thinking about tk and carlos meeting when they were more alone than they’d ever been, finding their kindred spirit, their soulmate, and the journey to allowing themselves that kind of love and vulnerability of letting someone else in. thinking about tk and carlos and the slow unravelling of the parts deep inside they hid, the parts that came from trauma, the parts that they loved about each other anyway. thinking about them enduring together, supporting each other, guiding each other, keeping each other standing. thinking about them being each other’s heart personified. thinking about neither of them knowing what their future would hold—if they’d even have a future—and finding hope and a newfound dream in each other. thinking about them having so much love and being surrounded by it in so many forms, always. thinking about them coming together in a union that everyone around them celebrated with them. thinking about them and having forever.
thinking about gwyn. thinking about gabriel. thinking about tk asking one of his mentors and mother figures to sing this in honour of their parents but also everyone they’ve lost. thinking about being alive being the theme song to tk’s life but representing so much to carlos and his family, too. thinking about tk and carlos and their future and them holding each other, caressing each other, sitting quietly with each other if that’s what’s needed. thinking about them seeking each other out in the middle of the night. thinking about them making each other meals. thinking about them knowing so intimately the inherent pain and grief and untimely tragedy of life but living in it anyway, and continuing on through love and the power of it. because that’s the risk of love, right? feeling so much and being so connected and knowing we’ll lose it one day, but finding so much beauty in it to keep choosing it, to keep fighting for it, to keep on being alive.
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blubujollyrancher · 6 months
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that relatable moment when you assumed the girl you used to care for perished in a tragic lab ablaze incident and only realized she still lived when you stumble upon her years later after you've erased yourself from everyone's memories and now she no longer remembers you
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wikiangela · 5 months
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seven sentence sunday
tagged by @daffi-990 💖
making more progress on alive shannon yaaay! this fic is gonna be such a mix of angst and fluff, and I hope i'll get the angst part right bc I'm not good at it, and so far a lot of after-accident stuff is turning out too cute lol (gonna fix it soon with the bombing lol) here's a lil buddie moment finally haha (they're not in love here yet but obvi there's always been something - and it's so hard to write them not in love and pining bc in my fics they're always in love already haha)
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“So, it’s weird, isn’t it?” he asks, then takes a huge gulp of his beer.
“What is?” Buck asks carefully, grabbing the second bottle and opening it.
“This whole thing.” Eddie shrugs. “Shan being here. Was it weird?” he nods towards the living room, indicating Buck hanging out with her before Eddie came home. Buck thinks for a moment, not really sure how to answer.
“I mean, I guess a little bit? Not as much as I expected, we just watched TV.” It’s Buck’s turn to shrug. “It was fine. It is fine. A little awkward, but we literally just met, so hopefully that changes. Since, you know, she’s here to stay, and I’m- I’m, uh- I guess I’m here often enough, so I don’t want it to be awkward and stuff-” he stumbles over his words, suddenly not sure why it’s even important for him and her to get along. It would be so easy for them to just not see each other. It’s not like Eddie and Shannon are gonna hang out all the time now, after she’s better and gets back to her own life. All that’s gonna connect them after the divorce is Chris. So, really, Buck has no reason to want to get along with her beyond her staying here for now. They don’t have to be friends, and if it’s weird for a couple weeks, so what?
“Buck.” Eddie interrupts his rambling, his eyes softening. “I know what you mean. I- I kinda hoped you guys would get along, is that stupid?” he chuckles. And, well, it’s settled now, Buck has to make friends with her, doesn’t he? “Since you’re, you know, Christopher’s best friend.” he adds with amusement, and Buck beams. But then Eddie sighs and shakes his head. “And he’s so happy to have her around.”
“I noticed.” Buck smiles.
“Yeah. He loves being able to just go into another room and hug her, talk to her, have her help him with his homework, play games with him. Just have a relationship with her again. He’s actually-” he laughs. “He’s teaching her to play his favorite video games, and she sucks at it. So bad. He’s determined, though.” Eddie gets that look on his face he always gets when talking about Chris, so much love and fondness and adoration. It might be one of Buck’s favorite expressions of his. Not that he has any favorites, of course, that’d be weird. He’s not analyzing his best friend’s face and looks and smiles, and he’s definitely not making sure to remember every single one, mentally filing them carefully in the rapidly growing drawer with Eddie’s name on it in his mind.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gayarthur @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @eowon @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @spotsandsocks @jesuisici33 @callaplums @loserdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @underwater-ninja-13 @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck
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sunsetzer · 4 days
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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.
On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.
#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized#to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was#i have to say#i genuinely love it here#i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing#thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me#i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6#probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women#instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women#my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep#or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant#theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao#bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes#and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine#but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh#theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times#and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake#maybe im just jaded lmao#im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario#the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in#ff6#my post#i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults#but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults#who bully each other and younger fans#and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger#maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao#also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot
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Sorry to be posting twice in one day but now I wanna talk about Sybil's last line of dialogue at the end of Wallaru. Bro says "The Spiral will always need its Scion." In terms of new villains always arising, new worlds to explore, etc.
Now of course in the real world this means something totally different than in narrative; for us it means yay Wizard101 will continue and it's not ending and shit and thats good!!! But in universe, I believe that fact would have brought different feelings. Like sadness. Or anger. Or maybe just numbness.
Like if you think about it. The implications. The Wizard will never, CAN never rest. It's an ongoing, neverending thing of always being needed. It's You and ONLY You. There will never NOT be evil. If not GF Spider, then the Schism. If not the Schism, then the Old One. If not the Old One, then someone else. Someone or Something will always come up as a Threat that only the Scion (for some reason. Gods exists here) is expected and able to defeat. When Sybil said that I was legit terrified because gotdamn I can't retire???? I will Always be The Legend who Always saves the day???
Like even setting aside the social consequences of this (the whole people suspecting us/fearing us Thing) imagine what that does to your emotional and mental health. Fuck even physical health. Going through all that strenuous trauma and exercise and magical ordeals and shit???? The pressure of knowing it's the universe at stake, not just you or the world? I actually would have died just in arc 2 personally how the fuck are we supposed to carry this. For the REST. OF OUR LIVES. FOR HOWEVER LONG WE LIVE
✨ Anyways here's hoping the Schism Soldier is arc 5's new big baddie haha #enemiestolovers101 😘✌️💕💕💕
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bloodsbane · 2 years
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one thing ive noticed watching blind/live reactions to SU, particularly when we start learning more about Rose (and then Pink) in the latter half of the series, is this idea that Rose never really suffered consequences for any of the bad things she did. and yeah i suppose if youre going through the show for the first time - especially if you're not watching as it airs, so absorbing a lot of information in a way shorter time without processing it alongside other fans - it's easy to come to that interpretation of things. the show even brings it up, this idea that Rose's choice to have Steven was so she wouldn't have to face the consequences of all her past choices
personally, i truly don't think that's the case. but it made me start thinking about something in a new way, sparked by Rose's tape to Steven. she says, "We can't both exist. I'm going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment that you love being yourself, that's me! Loving you and loving being you!"
i take this sentiment to heart. in a way, yes, i do think Rose wanted to escape who she was, but again, that's a discussion for another time. what i want to focus on is the idea that this means Rose - in whatever way you'd prefer to interpret it - is WITH Steven throughout the entirety of his life, and the thus the events of the show. and if she can feel Steven's love for himself, for others, for existing just as himself... that means she also feels his sadness, anger, frustration, despair.
...this is difficult ground to tread without making it sound like anything resembling 'rose/pink = steven', although i hope the fact that the show itself handily refutes this is enough to undercut such a reading. what i mean to say is, in a way, Steven dealing with everything in the show is also Rose dealing with it. if we generously accept the idea that her 'spirit' or what have you lives with Steven, if not as Steven, and that she to an extent does experience what he does, then it kind of adds a new layer to the way you watch the show. a really interesting one!
because i think one of the most difficult things to consider with SU, especially once you get through it the first time, is the idea or feeling that Rose's story just... stops. and there's so much leftover that needs to be resolved. i mean, hell, that's the entire point of the show to an extent. Steven dealing with what she leaves behind. but i think there's something nice in the idea that Steven does not only inherit powers or thousand-year-old problems from his mother - he also inherits her love of freedom and life, of family and friends, and a heart that wants to find solutions to problems in a way that doesn't hurt anyone else.
i guess think of it in this way: if Steven is able to see his mother's memories, to feel what she felt in those moments, who is to say that Rose, in whatever way she continues to exist (even if only as a concept), does not also feel what Steven does?
i'll tell you, this has been an interesting way to re-experience the show. i think it adds a lot to the bitter-sweetness of Rose's relationship to Steven. i thinks she loved him so much, even if it was only the idea of him and what he represented to her. and i kind of love to think that, even if it is only some metaphysical concept of Rose that now rests forever inside her gem, dormant but for the power and life she's bequeathed to her son, Rose recognizes the trials that Steven is going through and aches for him. that she would hold him, if only she could.
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apalapucian · 1 month
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time lapse ch. 32: scenes from a spontaneous camping trip
"Hey, are you awake?"
James hums on the top of her head. Something's been digging on his back for a while, but he didn't want to move because he thought Lily was already asleep.
"I have to show you something," she says, pulling James up.
Sirius sees and rolls his eyes. "Don't fuck on cowbane," he warns, "we can't help you sort that out."
James flips him off.
Lily leads him out of the clearing, into the grove, passing by the circling lights, into the deeper belly of midnight blue. He has to watch his step to not trip on exposed roots, hand tightening around Lily's, who is still leading him farther.
"Where are we going?"
"Somewhere quiet."
It's already quiet; even their whispers echo. "Won't we get lost?"
She smiles back at him. "We won't."
Finally, just three shades away from proper dark, she stops. It's so quiet he can hear them both catch their breath. There is water trickling somewhere. Nearby. Overhead. The night crackles around them, a dreamy lullaby, its own brand of magic.
"So?" asks James. "Did you want to make out or – "
Lily laughs. "I mean, yes. But first – " She brings out her wand. Then, her smile, even in the darkness, dims a little. "I – I'm sorry."
James eyes the wand. "Evans, are you going to kill me?"
Read on AO3
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