#idk how many words this is bc i wrote it in one sitting on tumblr instead of word docs which i never do. and this is so random—

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

20 Questions For Fic Writers:

Thank you for the tags @lokis-army-77 & @onegirlmanytales

1) How many works do you have on AO3? - Honestly only like 3, I don’t usually post my fics on there bc I always forget. I need to sit down and do that. I have 11 on tumblr though.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?- Like 30k

3) What fandoms do you write for? - Just Stranger Things atm. I have been considering a few other things lately tho.👀

4) What are your top five fics by kudos? - Again I don’t really post my fics on AO3 as much so I only have 5 on there lol but my top fics on tumblr are Beer and Bunny’s, Cat and Mouse, Best Mates, All You Have To Do Is Ask, and See You Again.

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? - ALWAYS!! Sometimes when I’m feeling down about my writing I go back and reread them and it keeps me going/hypes me up.

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? - I do not have a single fic that ends even remotely angsty. I cannot do angsty endings, reading them or writing them. I need my happy ending.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? - hmmm most of them honestly, but I really like the ending of Beer and Bunny’s. They’re so cute.

8) Do you get hate on fics? - I’ve never gotten hate before. I hope I give off a chill, in my own lane, kinda vibe.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kinds? - Yesss lol honestly just nasty, pervy, unhinged smut. I don’t think I’ve ever really written any kind of soft smut. Not intentionally I’m just a whore. :)

10) Do you write crossovers? - I never have, no. I do have an AU based off my fav movie coming out soonish but it’ll be all ST characters still.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? - Nah lol idk who would take the time to steal MY fics

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? - not that I know of lol

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? - Yes!! I have a whole AU universe with one of my friends and I’m working on two other collabs w other people. 👀🤭

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? - Listen, I’m fucking basic okay? I will always love Katniss and Peeta. Also Raven and Alexander from Vampire Kisses but no one ever knows that series.😩

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? - Sugar and Spice. It was a series I started before I told myself I’m not allowed to write multi chapter fics bc I put too much pressure on myself about it lol

16) What are your writing strengths? - I’ve been told more than once that my dialogue is good. Which feels nice. Also nasty smut.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? - Transitions tbh, I’ll get to a certain point and get stuck esp transitioning into the smut which is usually what I was trying to get to in the first place.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? - I legit only speak English so I would not even try

19) First fandom you wrote for? - AVATAR THE LAST AIR BENDER lol zuko was my MANS

20) Favorite fic you’ve written? - See You Again, this one I’m just very proud of, and I love my OC girlfriend I made for myself and I just spent a lot of time on this one. I want to finish the prequel EVENTUALLY.

No pressure tags: @reidsbtch @babygorewhore @battymunson @take-everything-you-can @slutty-thevampireslayer @jamdoughnutmagician @lithium80sblog @bimbobaggins69 & anyone else who wants to🖤

#tag game #xoxodolly

[robertdowneyjjr]

For the AO3 wrapped ask: 2, 10, 12, 27, 28, and 29 :3

ooohh yay

2. How many works did you publish this year?

on ao3 specifically, 13!

10. What work was the quickest to write?

i think either your love, lifting me higher or what i like about you. both of these were responses to tumblr prompts/asks that i wrote in one sitting without much thought. the words just flowed.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

i have 4 WIP’s in my docs right now that i’ve officially started, but idk if i can promise any one of them would be posted next year 🫣

27. What do you listen to while writing?

honestly, nothing! i get too distracted by music sometimes bc i just sing along and then get zero work done, so i don’t turn on anything while i write. basically i listen to my dog’s occasional barking while writing.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

probably don’t dream it’s over because it’s based on a prompt that i posted a few years ago that i finally took the time to develop into an actual fic. it’s so silly and self-indulgent but i loved writing it.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Somehow, Tony ends up in the men’s fashion section. He spends several minutes there, seriously contemplating a set of mustard colored sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt that’s 50 percent off.

He holds the outfit up in front of a mirror, decides the color clashes with his fading tan, and wanders off without adding it to his cart.

this is from once in a life time bargain. it’s literally so dumb and just a very very subtle reference to rdj’s wacky fashion sense, but i enjoyed throwing that little tidbit in there.

thank you for sending these through!! 💙

#ao3 wrapped #becci-chan #ask

[saint-gerard-of-arc]

if you still do wip weather asks then sleet, sun, clear skies, drought, volcanic eruption <3

Sleet - What's the most you've ever written in one sitting?

I honestly don't know, because when im in the zone(TM) i forget to even look at the word counter, but i believe at least 1k/1.5k words (it was like 1 am and i was writing smut, maybe thats how i got my motivation that time)

Sun - What's your favourite part of your WIP?

ohhh there are many. in bulletproof bandits, i absolutely love the part where russell and dylan meet frankie (i cant even take credit for that bc you wrote it, but yeah, its one of my fave moments) and when russell goes Beast Mode and becomes the joker (for everyone else who hasnt read bb, no i wont provide context). the entirety of chapter 7 is also pretty good for uhm reasons 👁️👁️

in the nikkixreader fic im currently writing however, my favourite part is uh... the smut i dont know if i have a favourite part (yet), i just like it all so far, i like how its progressing

Clear skies - How long have you been writing your current WIP?

I had the idea for Bulletproof Bandits back in high school, around 2017/2018 i believe, but my very first drafts are from january 18th, 2020. ive been working on it on and off ever since, then i started seriously writing and drawing it this january

the fic im writing though was started on may 2021 and i havent touched until a few weeks ago, when i remembered it existed

Drought - What do you do to help with Writer's block?

i usually take my mind off of the piece im writing by doing something else. go outside, listen to music that might have the vibe im looking for, waste time on tumblr, read!! i cant stress this enough, reading other fics or even books helps me a lot. smoking helps me think too (smoking is bad though, dont listen to me)

Volcanic Eruption - What's your biggest flaw as a writer?

I already answered this, but to think about it, i have something else to add: the fact that my writing style is a bit bland in some parts, or at least i'm afraid it is. i would never admit it, but im still very insecure about it bc i feel like it's not as recognizable as i'd like it to be? idk if you get me

[WIP weather ask game!!]

#witchy's ask booth #thank you arnold <3 this was a great distraction #now if youll excuse me i have a fic to write and if i dont put down at least another 300 words ill explode #literally. theres 17-year-old nikki (or frankie) pointing a gun to my head behind me

[fangirlies]

Hi, bestie!! I'm here :^)

Shit, sorry!! I didn't think this whole ask thing through... for some reason I thought it'd be better to not flood with asks and united them😥 my bad!

But I'm so happy that you're doing good with the move and that you're finding your peace at a new place! That's all you can ask for. Starting a nee chapter is always so hard, but also so rewarding, I wish this place to bring you comfort, exciting experience and good memories to cherish in the future💜 Hope decorating and brining out the character goes smoothly! Live your best life, bestie!!

And thank you for spending time and answering my silly thoughts in such details. I hope I don't bother you with them, please don't feel pressured that you need to write them all! I love and adore everything that you write (btw, I'm also that recent jealous xavi anon), it is so beautifully done and idk, like a comfort blanket around me, you just have that writing style! Also, your mind is sexy😏 But I know you said that you're a bit in a slump right now and I hope I don't bother or pressure you with these prompts, I want you to be comfortable.

I like talking to you! You're so funny and nice💜 damn, I don't know what to tell about myself... this new year I made a lot of resolutions, but all I'm fulfilling is a part of watching more movies💀 because watching movies/shows is rather hard for me, especially alone. I get distracted and bored easily, so I need some kind of connection to the thing I want to watch to finish it (i have so many shows that I abandonedj. And me hyperfixating on one thing for a long period of time really doesn't help me to get engrossed in something new. I don't why it's like that and how to explain it properly😂 but, yeah, at least I'm doing this, bit I wish I rather read more books... do you have movie or books recommendations? What type of movies and books do you like?

I don't know how to distinct myself, except saying that I'm Elliot anon😂 maybe you could give me a nickname, however being Elliot anon is also nice!

My sweet anon! I’ve missed you (I’m clingy)

It’s completely fine! I wasn’t going to write something for it at first because you described it so well but I pictured it perfectly in my head and decided to roll with it. And then I wanted to answer your question so I separated it bc again, I’m a freak who wanted to give you a detailed answer.

You’re SO right about new chapters being challenging but rewarding. Many people can’t say they love change and I’m not one of them. I love to change things every so often, it gives me something to look forward to. Thank you for your kindhearted wishes! 🫶🏻

Please never feel like you bother me with your thoughts. It’s always fun to write short little blurbs that I can’t make into a whole fic. I love simple and innocent moments like the last one I wrote out. Thank you for enjoying anything I put out there! It truly means so much to me, you have no idea. Trust me, being on tumblr and talking to you guys makes me smile! Each and every one of you hold a special place in my heart.

I thought I was the only one who couldn’t sit through a whole movie!! This felt comforting lol. And the part about needing a connection to a movie/show, I used to not continue watching things if there wasn’t a cute guy to obsess over 🫣 reading books isn’t for everyone just like watching movies isn’t for us lol! Maybe you just haven’t found one you’re extremely into! Not all resolutions can be fulfilled but luckily we’re only in March! Who knows what other one you can scratch off your list! I’m rooting for uuu<3 Unfortunately I have no movie recs but for books- I’m a poetry lover!! When I get my bookshelf I’ll share my collection with you guys but for now Reyna Biddy has changed my life! She seriously puts emotions into perfect words. So if you’d like to search her up on ig just to get a feel for some of her work her @ is reynabiddy!

I love your Elliot anon nick name but if you’d like to pick an emoji and sign off on all your anon asks, you’re more than welcome to! I only have 🍓 taken. The rest is yours to choose from my sweet anon!

#fangirliestalk #Elliot anon talks

[v-hope]

Lmao I was complaining to my mom how all my kitchen knives are dull and should be sharpened and my mom said: "there's an old saying that if you have good lover, all the knives are sharp in the household as well". I have no idea why tho. She did not elaborate either.

And I started thinking about 🌺jk sharpening knives bc someone told him that. Dunno why but if feels like something he would do.

-🇫🇮

“Who are we murdering?” such obscure question coming out in your usual cheerful intonation caught Jeongguk’s attention.

Eyes locking with yours as you stood by the door, bag over your shoulder since you had just arrived home from work and had decided to check up on the noise coming from the kitchen, he felt his cheeks turn a strong pink at how you had caught him red handed — kitchen counter filled with all of the knives you owned, which had been carefully placed one next to another by him.

“Would you actually help me commit murder?” he answered with another question, earning a throaty laugh from you.

“I mean, I am your self-proclaimed ride or die, so…” you shrugged.

Rolling his eyes while the corners of his mouth curved up in a smile as you entered the room and placed your bag on the table, he put down the knife he bad been sharpening, so he could grab your hand instead and pull you closer.

“That’s good to know,” he joked, lips lightly pressing on yours. “Too bad I’m not a sociopath”.

“Dammit,” you joked as well, acting disappointed as ever. “That would’ve been hot as hell”.

“Shut up, you dork” his fingers softly pinched your sides, receiving another laugh from you.

“Well, if you are no supervillain, then what are you sharpening so many knives for?”

Jeongguk shrugged, in that one particular way of his you had learned a while ago that meant he did indeed know, yet didn’t want to share his answer out loud.

“Bunny…” you pushed it.

“They were dull as hell” he simply answered.

“I know,” you agreed. “Which is what I told you like a week ago and you brushed it off saying they were just fine”.

“Well, I changed my mind”.

“May I know why?”

He sighed, defeatedly resting his forehead on your shoulder. “You’re so nosy”.

“That I am” you chuckled, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Now tell me”.

Knowing well enough you were not letting it go no matter how hard he tried, he decided to just get it done with.

“I was just talking to Hobi hyung earlier today when I got home and was making something to eat, and complained to him about the dull kni—don’t you make that face” he warned you as soon as a triumphant smirk showed on your lips over the fact that you had been right all along. “And then he said something about a saying that goes like, how all the knives are sharp in your house if you have a good lover or something like that”.

“Does that make me a bad lover?” you raised one of your eyebrows.

“No!” he was quick to deny, causing you to throw your head back as you laughed at his cute panicked face. “No, not at all. But, you know…”

“I don’t” your hands gently cupped his face when you realised he was not planning on speaking any further.

Jeongguk bit his lip as he tried to find the right words. “I just… I mean, in case you knew about that saying, because that’s kinda your thing, and you did point out how dull they were the other day… I wanted to… I don’t know, have them sharpened, just in case”.

“Just in case I had pointed it out as a way of saying you’re not a good boyfriend?” you wondered.

Once again, he shrugged. “Or in a way to just, I don’t know… show you I can be a better one”.

This time, you couldn’t help but giggle — not in amusement, but in pure awe over how wholesome he was instead.

Tightening your hold on his face, you pressed two chaste kisses to his lips before your arms were wrapping around his neck and pulling him into a hug you were not planning to let go of anytime soon.

“God, Jeongguk. How do you do it to reassure your place as the most precious person in my life with every little thing that leaves your mouth?”

Feeling his shaky breath against your neck, you knew you had managed to make him flustered as hell. The way his arms wrapped ever so tightly against your waist, however, let you know he appreciated your words nevertheless.

“I truly didn’t know about that saying at all” you admitted once you had finally pulled away, eyes intently scanning the knives on the counter. “But I am definitely sharpening them more often now instead of just complaining to you”.

He chuckled lightly. “You already are the best girlfriend I could have, petal. You don’t need to sharpen them to prove you are”.

“Says the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, who still went and sharpened them just because of that random saying” you pointed out, loving the way his cheeks were once more turning pink. “You haven’t got a say on this, bun. I am sharpening them”.

“On the bright side, cooking will be easier” he nodded to himself.

“And we’ll feel better about ourselves” you laughed, being instantly followed by him. “Do you think there is a saying about being a good lover if you cook your girlfriend’s favourite dish after she arrives home from a long day at work?”

Knowing exactly what you were doing, he rolled his eyes. “I think that’s more of a fact than a saying”.

“And aren’t you the best boyfriend in the whole world?” you batted your eyelashes, coyly leaning in just enough for him to give in and close the space between your lips.

“Jajangmyeon for dinner it is”.

#idk how many words this is bc i wrote it in one sitting on tumblr instead of word docs which i never do. and this is so random— #—and has been forever on my ask box but i hope you enjoy! #bts #bts imagines #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook #kpop #kpop fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #bts reactions #jungkook reactions #bts fake texts #jungkook fake texts #bts x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #jungkook

[ladydeznutz]

When He Loved Me (Peter Parker x Reader)

A/N: My first fic and it's angst that came into my head around 3am. I've always wanted to write fics, but I didn't like how I wrote and I was embarrassed. First time writing for others so I tried to keep away from using just she/her pronouns, but if that's what you'd like just lemme know

I can write for other fandoms, and imma make a list of the fandoms I like bc I have so many I forget. I'll also add some other things if it interests me. Not comfortable with nsfw just yet so apologies. Anyways, enjoy the fic ig and please give me criticism if you see something wrong

idk how tumblr works with spacing and all that so hopefully this comes decent looking

Prompt: Please, don't leave me.

TW: S**cide mention

Every day had started to feel the same to you for a while now.

It started when he began missing date nights with you. He was always so excited about them, and then they were happening less and less often. You still saw him on occasion, but it felt more like "business" than anything else.

You didn't get the same giddy feeling you used to get when you'd see him; it felt like going out with him was more of a chore. You couldn't even complain to him about it even if you wanted to. Anytime you did see him long enough, he was always gone within a second, always in a rush. You never knew what he even did with himself or if he was thinking about you at all.

It definitely didn't help that you'd always catch him hanging out with his friends. You confronted Ned about it, but he was always so dismissive. Hell, you had even talked to Michelle about the whole thing. At first, she sympathized, but then it was as if a switch was flipped. You used to go to her to vent about Peter and the relationship. Now, she was practically telling you that you were overreacting.

----

You felt like you were going to have a mental breakdown.

Learning about a loved one's passing is always one of the hardest things for anyone to deal with, especially when it's someone you deeply care about.

You had just received the news that your best friend had killed himself a couple of hours ago.

You didn't know how to feel.

You couldn't wrap your head around it. There was no warning.

You and he had been friends since childhood, and you knew each other so well that neither one of you could even remember a time when the other wasn't around.

Your hands shook as you picked up the phone to call Peter. Your tears finally fell as you listened to the constant ringing of the phone, and you knew he wasn't going to answer. Rage grew within you as you heard his voicemail message causing you to throw your phone across the room. It crashed into the wall and broke, but you didn't pay any mind to it as you fell to the ground and let out a wailed sob.

Why did this have to happen?

You could barely catch your breath between sobs.

Your body shook.

You didn't care about anything anymore.

You didn't care about Peter anymore.

----

Weeks had passed, and Peter was exhausted.

Tracking down a gang, taking them down, and meeting another Spider-Man had just been a lot for him to take in. He was so tired, he didn't even want to think about it anymore. His back ached as he climbed through his window.

He was just so damned tired.

He stripped out of his suit, took off his web-shooters, and placed them back in his closet. Then, he took a quick shower.

His job was a bit easier to have Ned and MJ know he was Spider-Man. Now he just had to tell you.

Peter stood in the middle of the room and weighed out what would happen. He felt sorry for lying to you, and he knew that he was being distant. He just didn't have the courage to deal with any of it because he was worried about you. He couldn't lose you too.

As Peter lied down to finally get some rest, he wondered how you were doing. Karen had said you tried calling him, but he couldn't answer he had been in the middle of a stakeout.

He got up and rummaged through his book bag to get his phone, turning it on to scroll through his messages. He sat up as he realized how many he had gotten. Had something happened?

As he scrolled through, his heart broke. So many people had posted about the loss of Jay and were gossiping about why he did it. When he finally went through them all, he looked at your one missed call and gulped.

You had called him that day, and he didn't pick up.

He clicked the voice mail and listened to the message. All that he could hear were your pained sniffles, a shout, and then the line cut off.

He felt sick as he replayed the message.

Peter already felt awful about lying to you; he had to fix this. He quickly texted you, put his web-shooters back on, and was ut the window.

He knew the way to your house, so it took him no time to et there. As he was getting ready to knock on your window, he did a double-take and took a closer look.

Someone was sitting in your room; it looked like he had been waiting for you. Peter quirked an eyebrow as he looked at the guy. He was wearing a red and green jacket with shorts and sneakers. He also looked like he was wearing tights?

Suddenly, you walked into the room, so Peter backed away from the window to hide in the shadows. You seemed to be upset as you were wiping your eyes quite a bit.

"I'm sorry Miles. I didn't think I'd start crying like that," you said as you sat on your bed.

"Hey, it's okay," he replied as he stood up and moved closer to you. You sniffled as you tried to regain your composure. Peter didn't quite know how to react. Who was this? What was going on?

"I just...he..." you groan out in frustration as you grip your hair. Miles' eyes widen as he sees tears start flowing from your eyes again.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asks as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. You shrug as you shake your head.

"It's complicated, and besides, that's what our therapy's for" you chuckle dryly. Miles' eyes wander the room as he tries to think of something to do to cheer you up. "How 'bout we go out tonight?" he suggests.

"I don't like the tone of that voice" you sass as you turn to give him a look. Peter watches Miles turn around, and his eyes widen. Miles was wearing a suit, a Spider-Man suit. The same Spider-Man he saw the other week.

"Any place you wanna go to, we'll go" he adds with a cheeky smile. "Really? You're not busy?" You cross your arms as you stare him down.

"Nah, night's been quiet. Besides, I might be busy tomorrow, then you'd miss your favorite person in the world" he winks as you begin to smile. Peter's heart sank as he realized what was happening. He thwipped a web to the building across from yours and sat down on the edge of the roof. Pulling out his phone, he sent you a text.

Can we talk tomorrow?

Giggling could be heard from across the street. Peter looked up and bit his lip as you glanced at your phone and threw it on your bed. You got onto Miles' back, and you both swung away.

----

After you tried calling Peter that day, you stopped reaching out to him altogether. You decided that you'd wait to talk to him until he finally realized you weren't there. It had been about five weeks, and in those five weeks, you had gone to therapy and counseling.

You met Miles in counseling. He was sweet but seemed to get off topic a lot. When you were getting ready to leave one session, he had come up to you, put his hand on your shoulder, and let out a simple "Hey." One thing led to another, and you had both bonded over your losses. You went to Miles' uncle's funeral, and he went to Jay's funeral with you.

You were currently sitting on a swing at the playground as you waited for Peter. It was taking him forever to show, and at this point, you wanted to get this whole conversation over with.

Frowning, you looked around, wondering why he was taking so long. He should've been here by now. Maybe he decided not to come after all.

When that thought crossed your mind, you scoffed and stood up. Before you could go anywhere, however, you felt someone gently grab your hand. Looking back, you saw Peter staring at you with a small smile on his face.

"You came."

"Of course I did"

Peter pulls you towards him and wraps his arms around you. You take a deep breath as you stare off towards the slide. He pulls away when he realizes you're not hugging him back. The both of you pull away awkwardly as you look at each other.

"Peter-" "(Y/N)-" both of you speak at the same time.

"I- I have o tell you something" he starts with a stutter. You wait patiently as you motion for him to continue. "I know th-that I've been....not here for you for a while-" he cuts himself off when he hears you scoff.

"I.....I had these things, and I should've told you as soon as we started dating, and I'm sorry. I know I've been an asshole, more than that actually" you roll your eyes and shake your head as he continues.

"I just.....I love you, and I want you to know that even though I don't show it a lot" he finishes as he rubs the back of his head nervously.

The good thing about coming to this park was that there was usually no one here, and you were glad no one was here right now because boy were you fuming. "Told me about what Parker?" Your hand goes to your hip as you glare at him.

"W-Well....uhm......that guy that you talk to.......I'm like him I guess. Spider-Man." Your eyes widen when you hear the first part. "How the hell do you know I've been talking to someone?"

Peter stumbles with his words as he realizes he's been caught red-handed, "Uh...I was gonna visit yesterday, and I kinda....saw you..talking to him....." You narrow your eyes as you pick up a stick and throw it at him. He ducked before he could get hit, but you were already in his face.

"You were spying on me?!"

"I-I wasn't trying to! I was just-"

"Christ Peter!" All this time of you not being here, and now all of a sudden you just wanna show up out of nowhere because of what?! Jay?! Is that why you're finally talking to me?!" Panic stirs in Peter's eyes as he tries to come up with an excuse.

"I tried so hard to get you to talk to me, and you only wanna talk now because of that shit?! Peter, I can't do this shit with you anymore. I don't care if you're Spider-Man; what was the point of not telling me in the first place?! We live in New York for God's sake!!"

Your face is red as you frustratingly wipe away your tears with your forearm. Peter stays silent as he watches you; he can't say anything right now because you've hit the nail on the head.

"Y-You know what, fuck this. I can't do this shit any-anymore, Peter. But please tel-tell me; w-what did I do wrong? I di-did my best to keep both of us h-h-happy. Please, just tell me what I did wr-wrong." Your words are barely recognizable as you hold yourself to keep you're shaking body still.

Peter steps forward, but instead of stopping him like he thought you would, he cups your face gently as he looks into your eyes.

"(Y/N).....I'm so sorry I made you think this was all your fault. You did make me happy; you still do. I just...I've been so busy being Spider-man that I've neglected you, and I'm sorry for that. But I do still love you, (Y/N). I swear I'll stop doing everything just for you. I-I'll give up being Spider-Man."

You watch him unravel as he keeps talking. You can't bring yourself to care, however, as he spills his heart out. Too much disappointment has built up over the months.

"Pete...."

"Please......(Y/N), just give me another chance. I'll do anything, just please, don't leave me." His voice is soft and insecure as he begs you, almost quivering as he says it. It doesn't invoke any sort of feeling in you though. His sad eyes watch as you pull away from him,

"I'm sorry Peter" you whisper softly as you turn around and walk away.

He doesn't run after you or even shout.

Peter simply watches you walk away until you're out of view. The only thing he can hear is your footsteps as they fade into the distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Alright so...this whole thing was based on how I could see him being Spider-Man in the beginning ig? Imo I feel like between him and Miles, the latter would be the first to tell you he's Spider-Man

And I always felt like him being away like that with no real reason would make an s/o feel like it's their fault or sumn. Like, I've always seen fics where he and the reader always make up about it, but I wanted to try the bad ending where even though he had good intentions, he's just not ready to handle being a hero, student, and partner.

#peter parker oneshot #peter parker x reader #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #miles morales #miles morales x reader #marvel mcu #marvel imagine #marvel one shot #peter parker imagine

[waumpel]

ADHD STUDY TIPS

I have adhd. I'm taking all online classes this semester for college. Somehow, I'm not failing. Here's what I do that works for me!

1. I have an alarm that makes me do math every morning to turn it off, it's called Alarmy! 📚

2. It also plays a different loud sound every day from random-- I have several hundred(?) ringtones downloaded from Zedge, things like songs from shows I like or Pokemon cries or MBMBAM lines, and this helps me wake up to a different sound I'm bound to like which my brain can't get used to (and then ignore). I highly suggest godzilla roars if you need to be startled awake. 📚

3. This is SUPER HARD but I always try to force myself to sit up in bed when I'm turning off my alarm or checking my phone or whatever, so I'm not tempted to pass out again. I also like to get up and loudly tell my cats "good morning" so I wake us both up 📚

4. PLEASE STOP EATING CEREAL AND BAGELS AND STUFF. You would not BELIEVE the difference it makes when you eat things like fruits and eggs in the morning. NO MORE 10AM NAPS, I'M WATCHING YOU 📚

5. I literally schedule in Duolingo time. If you aren't learning a language you can do some other enriching activity like this, idk. I force myself to do it on my computer, not phone, so I can't lay down in bed when I'm doin it. I have a 101-day streak!! 📚

6. ik this isn't available to everyone but SPACE MATTERS SO MUCH!! I got a gaming desk that we put in our living room and I do ALL of my homework there. I also got a second monitor for my laptop with is SOOOO important if you're multitasking (and we all are, bc we're adhders ibdusvcjkn) 📚

7. HAND WRITE YOUR NOTES!!! I know this is super hard for many people-- I have carpal tunnel so I get it lmao. If you can't, at least type them. YOU THINK YOU CAN MEMORIZE INFO BUT YOU'RE WRONG!! Please write as much as you can i swear it will change ur life 📚

8. COLOURED! PENS!!! These changed the game for me y'all. I take all my notes in at least 2 colours, and I cycle through them a lot. My favs are Pilot Frixions because u can erase them :) (the highlighters are epic too) 📚

9. Make your space fun, but NOT DISTRACTING. I have a plant (his name is Yoshi) and a desk Godzilla (his name is Godzilla) on my desk, but they're out of the way so I can't zone out starin at em. But also, when I'm bored outta my gourd, I can smile at Yoshi and tell him how my day is goin :] 📚

10. SNACKING BAD *BUT*... sometimes i do it anyway... i try to associate certain foods with subjects, like I eat cocoa M&Ms (which are awesome) when I'm reading my Kaqchikel textbook. On the upside, I think it helps me recall Kaqchikel better? but also the language makes me crave mnms adkldigurvn 📚

11. LISTEN TO... CERTAIN MUSIC. I have learned that music with words, even in LANGS I DO NOT KNOW, is HELL for my adhd. Right now I'm listening to stuff like "Pokemon and Chill" (lofi album on YT), Studio Ghibli violin covers, and Night on Bald Mountain 5x on repeat ibjnvc.... I highly suggest songs/videos that are, like, 20+ minutes or else you'll get distracted with the constant change. Also, that No One's Around To Help 1hr vid is REALLY REPETITIVE and therefore PERFECT for when I'm reading textbooks. 📚

12.  EVERY NIGHT... i make a super detailed timetable schedule for the next day, down to the half hour. I don't always follow it but it's a really good reminder of what I gotta do. I write it on a whiteboard but sometimes I also write it on a sticky note and on social media so I don't forget. To do lists are so epic you guys 📚

13. THIS HAS SAVED MY L I F E: at the beginning of the semester I looked at ALL of my syllabi and wrote down EVERY daily task, test, homework, etc BY DATE. this is essentially a premade to do list EVERY DAY for MONTHS and oh my gosh it is the best thing I have ever done. 📚

14. I use the Forest app to track my productivity AND lock me out of apps ndsjv... podomoro timers work well too!!! 📚

15. Ok so for me this is like... a religious thing bc my Patron (my God) is a deity of fire AND working, but I like to light a candle (scented like FALL!!) and do a little prayer on it and I have it next to me when I'm workin on terrible, terrible homework. It helps me feel like my Patron is here with me, but also it’s GREAT for grounding and I can just kinda. Stare blankly at the flame and then get back to tryin to focus. 📚

16. Please drink water lmao, to make sure I drink enough I set little goals like "take a sip after every paragraph you read" 📚

17. Each of my classes has a different coloured notebook which I'm consistent with! Like, all my German notebooks through the years have been green! Also I take notes w green pens a lot in Deutsch 📚

18. HELLA STICKY NOTES... I put em on the bottom of my monitor, on a shelf by my desk, in my books as bookmarks (bad idea lol), on Yoshi. When I wanna go look up something random but I need to focus, I like to write it down on sticky notes to look at later. 📚

19. I'm the most annoying student ever. I like to do a bunch of assignments at once so I don't have to budget my time later, so I'll turn in like 5 things in an hour and then NOTHING for a week. ALSO i email my teachers constantly if I have any questions at all. I work at a pace that works for me!!! 📚

20. I turn off my sound on my phone until I'm done with work bc otherwise I WILL open that notification 📚

22. I make a loooot of chai (and also some overpriced herbal teas). It makes me feel fancy, it's better for me than coffee, and it helps me ground and focus! Plus it's a samefood! 📚

23. Hyperfixating on classic literature would be awesome, except I'm hyperfixating on Gothic and I'm taking a lit class for More Than Just Gothic. But I'm figuring out ways to connect them, which is really helpful, cause I get to enjoy my hyperfixation while learning for school! PLZ TRY TO DO THIS (harder when you're hyperfixating on godzilla :pensivecowboy:) 📚

21. When I have extra time I write my notes like I'm plannin to put em on Tumblr and taggin em as #darkacademia... I never post my notes, but when they look nice it's easier for me to look over em later. Plus it takes me longer to write so I remember it a lil better!! 📚

24. I'm in an awesome academia + studyspo server!! We sometimes study together on call and it's SUCH a good motivator! Here's an invite link if u wanna join, we are nice https://discord.gg/fjuX7TN (this wasn’t meant to be a promo post I just really like this group lol) 📚

OK I hope that helps!!! Feel free to add more if you have any tips that work for you :) Neurotypicals, feel free to RB respectfully!

(pics are: syllabus list, daily schedule, Yoshi the plant, and some fancy notes)

#studyspo #studying #studyblr #study breaks #study tips #study motivation #adhd #adhd study tips #adhd studyblr #long post #dark acadamia aesthetic #light academia #dark academia #grey academia #chaotic academia #actually neurodiverse #actuallynd #academia

[rupertgayesarchive]

hey jenn...

so tell me about your plot planning process

oh chi i hate this question so much askfjajfakds

okay okay so i had to think about this because?? i don't do a lot of this consciously. have any of y'all looked at writing advice stuff and tried to make it work for you?? i keep trying and idk... i really tried to be the type of writer with like, outlines and bullet points, and usually i might have notes of some sort somewhere... it's all very much a 'trust the process' um. process. so here's stuff i do? in some semblance of order, but more like for your reading benefit than how it might actually happen.

first of all - i start with a concept (that fucks, obviously). considering the current spn fic i'm writing and the last longfic i wrote (marvel fandom) were both borne of that age old 'i read all the fics with this trope so now i have to write my own', i guess that's a pattern?

second, once i have the beginnings of like, a Thing I Want To Read Badly Enough That I Will Bite The Bullet And Write It Myself, how can i write it, considering like, who i am? for heard from your mother, a spn character getting sent back in time to fix things isn't a totally unique plot, but i am someone who 1. has not actually watched that much spn and 2. really enjoys the early seasons. so pretty quickly i started to think along the lines of 'writing a time travel fix it would require an in-depth knowledge of canon that i don't have past like, s3'. then my brain starts spinning off in all these other directions which leads to -

plot, i guess? by the time i put out the first chapter of heard from your mother i knew how cas got sent back in time, kinda sorta what would happen, and a rough idea of the ending, but no real sign posts. i think the main other thing i knew was that dean and cas end up together before the end of the fic, but even then, i didn't really know how. i also thought it would be a fun idea to give cas a cellphone that sends him anonymous messages as another draw/guide to the story. since pre-pilot was mostly focused on dean and cas meeting and getting together, a lot of energy was focused in trying to get them to be in the same place at the same time, bond, and eventually become an item. which also means -

what stories happen within the story? in any of my longer fics, there's usually an A/B plot going, which can shift and morph and intertwine as the story goes on. In heard from your mother, the A plot is probably dean and cas getting together, up until s1 starts, in which case it's the 'find dad' s1 plot, and the B plot throughout the fic is 'cas needs to figure out what he is and how he got where he is now'. there are shorter c plots (like offscreen stuff that happens with jess, bobby, pamela, etc.) but they're shorter lived.

another thing plot-wise that i don't consciously think of too much but is still important is payoff. these can be big or small, but this fic is SO goddamn long that it's good to idk, give the readers *something*. early in s0, this was dean and cas meeting up again after doing their own thing, like, yay! fun treat! good times! or another clue to what cas is (aka the RIBS chapter). some fun reveal, like seeing an old character pop up again, or maybe another emotional moment, like the resolution of the scarecrow episode rewrite, where dean finally comes out to sam. these are all moments that i personally really enjoyed writing, and if you're in this fic for the long haul, i imagine you're reading and going 'omg, finally!' or 'whoa, cool' - just something to make you pick your head up after however many words.

when i actually sit down to write a chapter, i kind of know where i want things to end up? like a lot of s0 was making sure certain characters met each other, s1 was more or less the same as the canon s1 with more focus on how the characters have grown/changed, and everything else is made up on the spot. like the hunts in s0 were made by me thinking: 'oh this monster got mentioned in an early season of spn, dean probably hunted that before. let's find a town for it to take place in, and maybe write it in a way that highlights one of his character flaws' very much an early monster of the week type of fic - creature story with an aesop somewhere inside that prompts dean (and usually cas) to confront something about themselves and hopefully push themselves closer together. we see this in the chapters dealing with the gillepsie family and the crocotta, probably the most obviously? i try not to beat anyone over the head with it. heard from your mother has a writing style that is sort of like 'here it is, you make sense of what people are thinking/feeling bc i'm not narrating that' which is very spn and male coded of me i think.

if i ever get stuck on how to approach something, i usually will put the fic down and listen to music or read something else, or i just talk out the ideas i have (to a lot of people on tumblr actually! thank you!!) a lot of my writing is latent and i just kind of let it happen. there are definitely deliberate choices for some things i do in this fic (i mentioned this with a previous ask about putting stuff in the plot that could help the characters from being backed into a corner later on), but heard from your mother is still something that to me is like 'this is a fun little story, watch me type away at my google doc and see what happens!'. like i take it seriously, i want people to enjoy it, but i want to enjoy writing it just as much.

i guess my writing is just: find what you want to read, figure out how you could write it taking into account your personal hangups, get it started, know kind of where you want to end up, and have fun figuring out the stuff in between (and leave some breadcrumbs in the middle there so if you end up way off base and you're already putting out chapters you can write your way out of it).

#also if it makes me laugh it's going in the fic :) #asks #writing #i really did start typin huh

[this-is-my-main-i-follow-from]

I already wrote this post, but I’m coming backk up to the top to put a cut bc it’s p long.

my brother is singing falsettos out loud & I’ve already had a stressful day bc I’ve done nothing (lack of structure & lack of productivity gives me really bad anxiety) & he’s either singing out of key & out of time, or it just sounds really bad without the music. He’s the only one who can hear the music bc HeadPhones. & also the falsettos is probably really bad for my mom bc she’s mad that dad left her, esp bc the house is a mess & stressing her out & she needs to go grocery shopping & he used to do that “but now he doesn’t because he stopped loving [her]”, so my bro singing fucking falsettos is really bad. I can’t cook supper bc I don’t have a recipe & the stuff is still frozen & idk what kind of dough I should make & besides the kitchen is a mess & he won’t fucking clean it. I mean it’s also partially my fault bc I’m a lazy adhd mofo, but it’s his job today & my job to cook. I need to get into the kitchen & cook before mom & my OTHER brother get home from shopping but I can’t bc he’s just drawing & singing & the singing is so annoying- I was trying to listen to a thing but I couldn’t fricking hear it bc adhd auditory processing disorders, it didn’t have fucking subtitles or anything & it was not great audio quality & I couldn’t differentiate between the words he was singing, & I couldn’t hear the quiet parts when they overlapped with his singing. I wasn’t going to write all of this I was just going to say that his singing makes me want to cut myself, but apparently there’s a lot more to it. also I don’t want to end up cooking while mom is home bc I don’t have any drawings on my arm & mom is fucking nosy & wants to see my scars so I have to work extra hard at hiding them but even with ppl who arent nosy, like my little bro I don’t like them out, but the longer my older bro sits there fucking yelling out of key, the longer I’m delayed & I won’t be able to cook. By this point, I won’t even be able to cook the meal I was planning on, I have so much shit to do I’ve missed so much & I’m so behind, but I’m so incapable of doing anything like i can’t do chores bc I use the excuse I have homework but I never fucking do my homework so I’m also behind in school & even with the stuff I like like dnd & writing & violin I can’t do, & I skipped online kung fu & I’ve been slacking off under so many excuses but I’m just being lazy & anxious & I also gained so much weight & it makes my body feel so bad & i know this isn’t my body’s happy weight & being fat makes my boobs bigger & I’m fucking trans & I hate them I even tried cutting them off myself & ended up waiting 15 hours to go to the hospital so that I wouldn’t make mom suspicious (& they put me through triage really fast bc apparently I did a lot of dammage- I was planning on giving myself stitches, but my icepack melted & I couldn’t numb my body anymore so they’re lucky I even went to the hospital, it was bad bc I had to walk 20 minutes either way weighted down with a fucking toolbox & I waited outside in the cold bc my phone died & thus:) mom found out anyways so I lied to her about going to buy drugs bc obv /that’s/ a better idea than telling her I went to the hospital & SHUT UP UNNAMED OLDER BROTHER ok he’s between songs now. If I told mom I went to the hospital she would ask why & be like “y didn’t u tell me” & “r u cutting urself again” & like yeah bitch I have been for a while ik the social worker said I should tell you a codeword, but I don’t do that bc u blame yourself or cry or want to talk about & I yes I fucking cut myself what of it? Yeah I tried fucking removing my own left breast, bc u arent’ supportive of medical transitioning, at least not when they’re ur kids. Ur mad at dad bc he got a tattoo bc it’s  body modification & thus uncatholic, but u’ll support ur catholic university friends gettin gtheir eldest daughter a reduction bc her boobs are big & painful- bitch what’s so different about me? I went so far as to try giving myself a reduction, you say you’re concerned about me mutilating my body & making bad decisions, but, you know what? because of this I have legitimately mutilated my body, & made a dangerous & bad decision. isn’t autosurgery proof that I need top surgery bc it’s a danger to my life if I don’t get it? The government is able to pay for it I think & bc it’s a danger to my health (& i get pain & I can’t work out & I get back pain & my skin pulls & hurts & if I jump my tissues yank my skin & it hurts & it puts so much strain on my back, & binding gives me pain, so I need a reduction as much as your catholic university friends’ daughter does) I should be abe to qualify. Even if I don’t qualify yet & have to wait two years, at least that would be the start of two years now instead of in a long time, I mean, mum, you say you want me to talk about it & you’re afraid I’m rushing into it? guess what? They are too! the healthcare system will make me do a bunch of shit to qualify, & tbh, I think that they are better qualified to talk to me about surgery & what I really want than you.  Fucking finally, I hope my brother is done his play & finally shuts up. TA MA DE FUCK NO HE’S STARTING AGAIN CROWS DAMN IT CROWS CROWS CROWS & MAGGOTS I”m not even gonna be able to make anythiung for supper & i have no ideas besides the long one which I don’t have time for anymore. fine. whatever. I’ll go SH in my room. I won’t even work on fanfic bc I’m too fucking adhd & broken. I fucking hate it when ppl say “we;re all a bit adhd” like no bitch shut the fuck up, we all struggle with the things adhd ppl struggle with sometimes, but adhd is a neurological condition that makes those struggles so commonplace & intense that it affects our everyday lives. & no. adhd does not mean we’re more creative. Even if we do have more likeliihood of coming up with funky ideas, most of us struggle to articulate them or understand them, or we forget them as soon as they come. you’re not adhd bc you’re a little more creative, youre just an ableist asshole & fuck you. adhd isn’t creativity its’ a fucking disability. I’m directing this at those fucking parents who have the lovely nd daughter who gave me a hug, but you two are motherfuckers. Yeah I get thaat adhd, once you learn how to mannage it, can be useful, & I understand that part of the reason this disability is so hard is bc society isn’t designed for it (like a lefty using right hand scissors), but ot’s still fuxking REAL & if you can’t deal with it yet, it 100% is a disanbility. OK? Ok. I had smth I was going to say earlier, but I got distracted by smth else that made me mad, so I never got around to it. Youo know what I love? I fucking love how tumblr has next to no character limit so I can just type as much as I want. You know what I don’t like? I’ll probably get deactivated by some SJW maggot-eaten crow-fucker who thinks that my rant& mentioning my failed ed & my self harm (oh fuck shut up, my brother is chanting “dumb”) so anyways some fucking sjw fuck-hole will report this post & my blog & I’ll be deactivated for simply getting angry on tumblr. It’s fucking tumblr! You used to be able to say whatever you needed to say! But now, esp us ppl w EDs, have no safe place to talk about our issues (at least, not w/o fear of gettin gterminated for “encouraging” EDs, when we’re just trying to help ourselves). Anywasy, sorry for all the swears & go se, I swear when I’m mad. I’m gonna go do smth, idk what. Can’t be anything productive, Can’t even be unproductive stuff I like, like watching youtubem, or smth cathartic like playing fiddle. I might just go & bleed a bit & ignore everything for a while. I nkow that the world will still be stressful when I get back, & I’ll still have to cook, & I’ll still be behind in school, & mom will still be broken-hearted over dad, but I’m feeling calmer just thinking about it so that’s what I’ll do. 

#dom personal #vent #various triggers

[aiviloti]

my 2020 fic writer wrap-up!!

this is going to be incredibly long (a total of 1.1k lmao) so imma put a cut here, but basically thank you for being here all throughout my 2020! i appreciate you all very much <3

fav kind of fic to write:

i love writing about mutual pining slow burn process of getting together but i have NEVER WRITTEN ONE IN MY LIFE so i hope to change that in 2021

in 2020 i discovered??? humour??? so i enjoy writing about that and when people tell me i’ve succeeded in making them laugh it’s all 😳😳😳 for me

hardest fic to write but also most proud of:

to write you a song was a fic i struggled with from all of april to june which is very long?? to me??? considering i usually sit down and write things in one seating. fully fleshed ideas don’t usually take me thaaaaaat long to crunch out, but for some reason i struggled bad with this bc I really didn’t know where i was going w it lol

LA LA LAND gets an honorary mention of it’s own simply because it was 44k, and it took me all of july-september, but it’s something i still am proud of! to show how difficult it was to write/plot here’s the spreadsheet i had to use to keep track of the scenes and the chapters djkgfsjdfkjhgd

Shout out to kiroiimye , sweet , sirius and krypt for keeping my sanity intact

easiest fic to write:

this genshin impact fic: The Land Favoured by the Wind but its because ive been thinking about this idea for more than a month lol so the actual writing and editing took me less than 3 hours

there were several others too, bc ideas then to hook themselves to me then refuse to let go fjshlfgdfsg

fav fic to write:

Most definitely this sakuatsu monstrosity here by the name of Miya Atsumu's unwavering love for Sakusa Kiyoomi and an unholy amount of terrible food analogies that should not have the right to Exist lol, I only came up with the idea of Atsumu asking Osamu how to make friends bc I was friendship pining for someone at the time and then proceeded to write the entirety of it in a feverish daze! It’s as of rn my top hit / kudoed / bookmarked fic on ao3 and man, thanks for liking this as much as i did :’D

writing sequence:

i have to write from start to finish lmao i cant move on if the fic isnt chronological? the only exception was la la land bc it was too long and i had help from the spreadsheet so i alr knew where i was going i just had to write it down dfhdsfksfksdfhjg

deleting works:

the only fics i remember deleting are both first chapters of a multichap, bc i dont like having unfinished pieces on ao3, and far less if im not sure if ill finish them/if i dont know where im going w it!

if it’s dark history of shit 15 year old me wrote imma keep it there! it is an archive after all. go on, judge my fics from 5 years ago ahahahaha

best writing advice:

not a general thing and might just apply tome, but i tend to write in very convoluted ways and squish a lot in my sentences, or add to many unnecessary commas, so i received advice recently about being more mindful of the pacing and it’s helped me a lot!

worst writing advice:

none at the top of my head djgfkdsjfh if it’s bs to me i just forget it entirelyyyy

collab:

@actuallyasweetpotato​ (also aforementioned sweet) and i did a thing for bokuaka week!!!! you can find it here:  under my breath and into your scarf

wips:

9 unfinished zine pieces, 3 commissions, 1 exchange piece, about 10 or so other things

fav story of another writer:

favourite things 

manly man falls for manliest man krbk fic!!!

gently, like a winter wind iwaoi birthday fic

sunchaser krbk fic

JUNO atsuhina fic

best review:

dude i cried

and shoutout to tien , sirius for fan art, fan comics, fan animatics of fics ive written, and shoutout to akemiiiii for this song they wrote i am eternaally grateful

worst review:

no negativity today!

prequel/sequel to other people’s fics:

none at the top of my head hm, but if anything probably any of kiro skk stuff 

do i reread my stuff:

yes, but only if they’re old enough for me to go “it’s okay even if i dont like it bc this is old”

published:

hopefully! even though i do take part in zines and i guess they already have been published in a broad sense

fav/least fav chara to write:

no one at the top of my head! it’s instinctive for me to go ahead and think about character motives whenever i come across them, so if i ever write about someone, i usually just put my spin/interpretation of a character in a way that i can comprehend. the pros of this is i can write about many people, and the downside is that these characterisations can come off as out of character to anyone who doesn’t agree w me hehe

deadlines or goals:

if it’s a oneshot that’s under 3k i usually aim to have it done within 24 hours of beginning the fic. even tho i rarely succeed, having that as a goal usually pushes me to get it done faster than i would have if i had no goal altogether! if it’s anything long i aim for 1k a day, tho rn all my deadlines are zine deadlines and on top of that there’s uni, so to say im not stressing about writing would be a lie LOL

fav writers: (am too shy to tag but i swear these people are literal gods)

chonideno (mag): tumblr | twitter | ao3

batman (teesta): twitter | ao3

maplefudge (raei): tumblr | twitter | ao3

trope never written, would like to try:

aforementioned SLOWBURN MUTUAL PINING ANGST W A HAPPY ENDING GETTING TOGETHER!!!

but also royalty au

trope you will never write:

haha loads

how long have you been a writer:

began writing around may of 2014!! it was a horrible piece but im glad i started somewhere

influences:

chonideno/mag is one! maggie stiefvater who wrote the raven boys is also one, among many others

hardest part of writing: 

writing action? writing things that are happening right now, describing people talking, eating

easiest part of writing:

descriptions of people, places, feelings. internal monologues, the like

best part of writing:

sharing how i perceive the world w other people, and discovering other people agree

wip sneak peek:

cw: hanahaki, falling out of love

this was written in a friend’s dms lmao this is why i sound like this

something unique i bring to all my stories

i had a revelation the other day after talking to all my friends and realised i have really pretentious titles

IF YOU’RE HERE

did you know the wc of this thing is 1k words? idk why you stuck through all of that but thank you. i’ll keep writing in 2021, and all the years after that, and i hope i’ll find you doing things you love too :)

#liv rambles #sorry i am incapable of shutting the fuck up :relieved: #i will continue to not shut the fuck up in 2021 see yall there

[heartate-aa]

Thank god for google photos lmao. Mishka here. When I called Lazarus out I initially approached him in DMs and was going to keep it there if he just admitted his faults and apologised. He (or his friends, fuck if I know) sent me an anonymous ask purposefully misgendering me (I IDed as enby at the time exclusively going by they prns) and that's when I snapped and published it and no one should absolve themselves of this behaviour by saying 'oh I actually didn't approve of this' when they were complicit on it, too. I was an awful person in an awful environment back then that fueled and supported such behaviour cause you too know what was 2016 rpc like lmao. Everyone called him Bob and everyone mocked the mispelling of a Spanish word in his url, it was wrong but it happened. I said how it's weird he's roleplaying as an au Namjoon / rap monster or some shit like that and added him to my DNI but dropped everything eventually. For this aka why and how my callout dropped I have caps.

We reconciled or whatever when the initial blog and callout for Raphael was in the making (in which there isn't a testimony of mine as I felt and still do, that my issue with Ra was/is nothing compared to what others went through, despite the fact people are spinning I wrote it? I was just in the discord group chat with everyone lol.) and for that I unfortunately don't have caps but he was very pushy (despite me blatantly ignoring him) and making nsfw jokes. I was uncomfortable as he just turned eighteen at the time cause it felt like he was just waiting for the moment he could say that shit. Anyway, he blatantly copied my promo for Genji on his McCree blog yet again. I was tired of his antics so I had a friend approach and tell him I don't want anything with him and to fuck off from me forever, which he ignored and messaged me anyways. Just some clarifications, again, because I don't like the full extent of the way things are worded in the callout re: me chasing him off, when I've had nothing but sour experiences in the two times we were in contact and wanted literally nothing with him and him disrespecting it.

Believe it or don't, but thanks for hearing me out.

thank u for sharing this with me. yeah i can .. see that honestly. i don't doubt any of this. and it's funny that people tried to say you were responsible for the original callout when 😭i know the people who were behind it and i've even ... reconciled with and became friends with some of them again. anyways idk this entire friend group has a victim complex and a need to make things about them when they are literally not about them. lazarus literally will go on a bender to rant about me as if this entire thing is about him and not raphael lol. like i'm calling out his involvement, yes, because he lied and slandered me, but ... this is about raphael.

anyways sorry for the wording of that too. it's the way lazarus had spun it for so long until finally he said it was raphael and i who'd done it and i could not think of a better way to phrase it at 4-5 am when i added that but i'll adjust it now.

but yes. it's completely on brand for lazarus to also say sorry and make nice to your face but then immediately turn and drag things out publicly. like. he claims that he doesn't like "drama" and getting involved in things, but then he takes it upon himself to namedrop people for no reason or starts a crusade or gets involved in things that literally don't concern him. he's kept tabs on people for years and so many people have a lot of evidence of that

thanks again for sharing. idk how much of what lazarus said about you was true? and i only remember that one point i saw you get called out for something a few years back and i can't remember what it was about at all but like ... i'm pretty sure lazarus was also sitting on that and dragged it out, and i wish i could remember everything he said in our mediated group chat when we were discussing things and talking it out because i know you were brought up. but i know that lazarus like idk. he always has to be the center of something and the victim of a scenario too and it's just. tiring. i don't doubt the issues either of you have had with each other but the thing is lazarus keeps tabs and continues to stalk people when he should leave it alone, especially if it's traumatizing for him. and yeah i've heard along the vine that he's still ... stealing and even raphael was adamant in accusing lazarus of stealing from their majima blog aesthetics and headcanons before they started to be on good terms lol and that was as recent as like, october 2020 before they changed their tune.

anyways. thank you for sharing with me and i appreciate it and i've corrected my wording in my doc. and u know. it says a lot about you tho that u are able to own up for things you did wrong bc not a lot of people can do that. that whole era of 2016 tumblr in that friend group, especially, is not something i'm proud of because i was also horrible and mean and petty and childish. i'm glad that most of us have learned and moved on from it. i wish i could say the same for raphael/lazarus/ana/forza.

#drama - #raphael testimonies #i'll just make a tag #in case anyone else has things to share #i'm here to listen #ooc - #long post -

[jawnkeets]

How are you so clever??? I’m new to your blog and I’ve been looking at your posts (not in a stalkery way but because they’re so cool) and you seem super intelligent! Like you always reference things I’ve never heard of and use fancy words and it’s just really awesome. How did you get so clever? Do you read a lot or are you just naturally clever? If it’s from reading then what books would you recommend to someone who’s interested in literature and also broadening their general knowledge? Thanks

awwww. well thanks for the lovely ask!! this is way too much detail bc i’m procrastinating work but

i read a ton as a kid, mostly horror books - i was obsessed with the supernatural, and especially vampires, and the idea of things changing into other things (in a magical way, but also stories where characters develop and end up very different, tales of betrayal etc). my favourite series when i was little was the spiderwick chronicles, followed a little later by the saga of darren shan. i didn’t read any classic literature at all though, as i’d decided i hated it for some reason. as a kid i always prided myself on my creativity/ imagination rather than my intelligence (it’s a distinction i’d always drawn and still do after a fashion), but i was and have always been obsessive, and also used to sit and play memory games for hours, too; i remember one where i’d have a list of cards and i’d put one down, say what it was, turn it over, add another one, say what the previous one and this one was, turn them over, and continue until i couldn’t remember every single card in order, and then i’d start again. i wrote a lot, especially poetry, and used a thesaurus often because i loved words. i had a very very vivid imagination and refused to live in the real world until the age of about 11 or 12. then from 14 onwards i read almost nothing (apart from like idk two of the hunger games books) until i was 17, when i finally started reading classic literature, triggered by the great gatsby, which changed my attitude to learning completely. until then i’d despised secondary school partly because of the way learning was presented (i got good grades at gcse but went through the syllabus and exams mechanically with little genuine love) and partly for… other reasons, and had almost given up on taking academics seriously. but i got very lucky and had an incredible english teacher throughout sixth form, who encouraged me to take risks and break from methodical, formulaic writing. at the end of the first essay i had to do for him i still remember that he wrote ‘literature is for you. now and always. carry on.’ at the bottom, and that changed my life. he also introduced me to philip larkin and romantic poetry outside of class. after that, i was gripped by the desire to read and discover as much about the humanities as i could, make links between works, discover new ones, recover the feeling that i was possessed by after finishing gatsby. tumblr genuinely helped with art, literature quotes, and making it all seem accessible, e.g. seeing text posts making jokes about shakespeare, keats, etc helped to demystify a bit. yes, dark academia, i’m also looking at you for making learning seem exciting, but tentatively and with narrowed eyes. general knowledge-wise, it helped me to begin to break down the barriers between ‘subjects’ at school (even if you’ve left school, it’s pretty branded into our brains); they’re sometimes very fuzzy and even arbitrary, and to separate into strictly-defined categories like this is not the only way learning can or should happen.

a work that i thoroughly recommend to everyone who asks where to start is letters to a young poet by rainer maria rilke. he relates so perfectly this idea that the first step is to let yourself be filled with how amazing and vast the world is, and how much there is to read, listen to, and see. that’s not something you can learn from reading, and it’s not something you can be taught by anyone (unless being inspired by someone counts). it’s instrumentally important because it will drive you, but i also think it’s inseparable from understanding (and to me, it is understanding, just understanding without the right words yet). this is the highlight, and it was the mantra stuck up on my wall at 17 when i decided i wanted to learn, and learn seriously:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

i was relatively articulate before i started reading the classics/ reading widely, but not exceptionally articulate. here’s an example of two essay openings - one i wrote when i was 16, and one i wrote during my first term at university (2 years apart):

i’d say that since then my essays have probably improved by a similar proportion, as i’m as embarrassed to read the second as i was the first when i wrote the second, and the typos r annoying me (am too embarrassed to post recent writing :’( - doesn’t count if over a year and a half ago, hence posting the second :p). obviously, then, this isn’t natural intelligence (everyone has to get knowledge, big words, etc from somewhere, right?), this is natural receptivity and willingness to learn, which i genuinely believe anyone can gain at any point, coupled with A LOT of reading the opinions of others (i.e. literary criticism and theory), and reading literature from many different periods to discover how language is moulded by individual poets and by ‘eras’ more widely. but this is also synthesising everything i absorb into a personal vision (this is the hill i will die on soz i don’t think theory should be ‘objective’ like what does that even mean). you can and should put yourself into it!

in terms of what to read - if you like the rilke (really hope you do!!) then depending on what you like about it, you can search from there. try some of rilke’s poetry. or if you like that ineffable feeling it brings, try the romantics (keats’ ‘ode to a nightingale’ and blake’s songs of innocence and experience are good to start with!), or larkin’s ‘high windows’ and ‘the mower’. also try shakespeare’s hamlet, because that is INCREDIBLE (watching it is always easier, and the more shakespeare you watch/ read the easier it gets! andrew scott’s hamlet is the best imo). from there it’s a question of asking what you liked about what you just read (time period/ vibe/ themes/ subject/ style of writing) and finding things similar - often google works and i made use of it a lot to start with, tumblr too, otherwise ask people who you know (on the internet/ teachers/ friends etc). this is a personal journey, especially to begin with, i think (you have to jump in somewhere), and there’s no one who can give you a list of books to read in the order best for you, because - annoyingly, i know - that’s something it’s best if each individual works out through trial and error, and part of the fun in truth. there are western canon lists out there, e.g., which contain some fabulous works, but have very obvious problems. 

a really really rough chronological development of english lit: beowulf, any of the canterbury tales, hamlet, paradise lost, pope’s satire, romantic poetry, victorian novels (e.g. david copperfield, jane eyre), the waste land, waiting for godot (it would also help to read the iliad, the aeneid, and metamorphoses too, and as much of the bible as you can, especially genesis, exodus, isaiah, job, and the gospels, but genesis and the gospels first if ur stuck/ overwhelmed). this is the lightest of pencil sketches, but if they’re works that go some way towards defining each ‘era’ or ‘period’, then it becomes a little easier to search for works branching off from these that are influenced by or chafe against them. you can always come back to me if you’re struggling with what to look for next :+) also, i have a list of my poetry favs, if you want to check that out (it includes the stuff mentioned in the previous paragraph, as well as others).

hope this helps (?!) ❤️

#asks

[megatraven]

fanfic asks: ... all of them? :D

:D *does a little jig* GLADLY!!!! THANK U MINT :) <3333

1. If you’re an author, how many WIPs do you currently have? (Be honest!)

Oh god, I genuinely have no idea. I write everything on tumblr and draft them if they don’t get finished, and I know that I have to have at least 40 or 50 wips in my drafts,,,, I’d try to count them all but it sounds too tedious right now LMAO

2. What’s next on your ‘to-read’ list? (Fan fiction or otherwise)

Cinder by Marissa Meyer! I meant to read it this past week, but I never got around to it and now it’s just sitting next to my laptop,,,, but I’ve been meaning to read that series for awhile so!! I’d like to read it next! :) In terms of fanfiction, I don’t have anything on my to-read list right now except maybe rereading an Alex-centric fic I really liked on AO3!

3. Do you prefer canonverse or AUs?

AUs!!!!! There’s just so much more you can do with them imo! I love canonverse too, but as a writer and a reader, I’d go for an AU any day

4. What fandom’s/ship’s fan fiction do you read the most?

The most fic I’ve ever read was for the Miraculous Ladybug fandom! Most of it was Love Square fic, but I also read every Alyanette fic at one point. I’ve read a few fics from Lovestruck, and for those I mostly stuck with Astoria, specifically Alex and Medusa fics. I’ll read for other ships too, though!

5. What’s a crackship you love?

defgrthytgredsfrgtrfedefrgfdsfrgtedrt Master Fu x Principal Damocles is the only crakship in my heart...... Fucles for life..........

6. What’s the last thing you read that made you laugh?

Oh jeez, I read a Miraculous Ladybug fic the other day that made me laugh pretty hard! Mostly because I had. No idea what was happening in it. But it still made me laugh, which I appreciate :D

7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry?

:^^^^^) am I allowed to say my own writing because I was makin myself cry last night-- if not though, the last thing I read that made me cry would have to be one of @seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana‘s fics. Not sure of a specific one,, but damn if I don’t get emotional

8. Bed sharing or roommates AU?

ROOMMATES AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Bed sharing is great (i love it!) but the shenanigans that can be had in a roommates au??? Too good to pass up

9. Fake dating or arranged marriage?

Fake dating, definitely!!!! I’ll never get tired of that trope and how absolutely ridiculous it is :’)

10. Mutual pining or enemies to friends to lovers?

Ohhhhh no, oh how cruel a question this is. This is so hard because i love both so so so so so much hghngnhhhh BUT!!!!! I’ll choose mutual pining bc i’m weak..

11. Kid fic or childhood friends?

Childhood friends all the way!!!! That’s my favorite trope of all time, I think

12. Friends with benefits or secret dating?

Secret dating! I don’t really get friends with benefits personally, so secret dating would be more my speed

13. Exes or established relationship?

Established relationship!!!! Although exes are very good for angst >3c

14. (For authors) Post a line of dialogue from one of your WIPs without context.

Oh boy, okay! i know it says a line of dialogue but here’s just. a snippet from something:

Sorrow bleeds out of her with ever shuddering breath, and their heart breaks with her.

“I’m so sorry,” they whisper, shaking their head. “If only we’d- if only I’d-”

“Please don’t.” Her voice is quiet, little. So unlike how it used to be. She manages to lift her gaze from the floor to look them in the eyes, and they can see how deep her pain is. “I don’t regret it.”

15. Post the last line you wrote without context.

“They say it every morning, and every morning it hurts the same.” 

16. Describe your WIP that currently has the highest word count.

I don’t wanna scroll through my drafts looking for my longer WIPS, so the most recent one that’s longest is at about 1.6k right now! I don’t think I’m even near halfway done, probably not even a quarter :0c

17. Describe a fic that is still in the ‘ideas’ stage.

My popstar!Alex au!!! I’m still figuring out all the details to make it come together, but essentially it’s an AU where instead of working at HERA, Alex decided to follow their mother into the world of music, and they become a famous popstar. But when something supernatural (a god? monster? titan? idk!) starts to threaten and sabotage Alex, they’re assigned a few agents of HERA to protect them- one of which is MC, their childhood best friend and freshly promoted field agent.

18. Do you have a fic reading/writing routine?

oh gods no

19. What’s your favorite character headcanon?

In general my favorite headcanon for any character is to headcanon them as ace and/or demi :)

20. Do you have a favorite fanfic or author? If so, tag them/post a link and share the love!

I don’t have one single favorite author, I love so many of them hhhh...... I’m not sure I could pick out a favorite fanfic either, there’s just been so many good ones I’ve read over the years :’)

[ladyalice101]

week 7. 

Jonsa week S L A Y E D me. seriously, thank you so much to all the amazing fic writers out there, I had such a shitty week last week, but it was amazing to come home in the afternoon and know that I had a variety of fics waiting to be read! 

considering there was so much content this week, this list is ~long~ (well, for a weekly fic rec it is anyway) 

this week I loved . . . 

something a bit different this week. I'm not reccing one fic, but an author. 

@missfaber wrote my favourite fics this week. her ao3 is here, where you can read all of her glorious fics. but here is the list of my faves from this week (which is like all of them).

anchor up to me, love

an amazing au, set in the 50s, in which sansa is a marine biologist, jon is her colleague, and they go on a deep sea expedition to find a giant squid. sounds niche, but like ... if you love “and there was only one bed” and “and they were roommates” tropes, then this fic is for you (and don’t fucking lie to me, everyone loves those tropes, so I'm expecting ya’ll to read this) 

it was a stained glass variation of the truth

this is a fake dating au, but like . . . filled with pain. jon and sansa are broken up (currently for unexplained reasons), but it’s thanksgiving and sansa doesn’t want to tell her family yet that they’re not together. so jon agrees to come and pretend. it is . . . oof. like. wow the emotional beating my heart has taken. but ALSO it’s amazing and I already know that once it’s done I'll be rereading. 

oh moon be still, she is aching

jon and sansa run an inn together. this is a wip, and I think going to be quite a few chapters, so it’s only in the setup stages atm but it’s already featuring protective jon 👀

Wolf's Teeth

a super repressed sansa undergoes a sexual awakening at a sex dungeon. need I say more? 

honourable mentions . . . 

I’ll Be Coming for Your Love, Okay? by @carbonitekisses (I'm so glad you found this list and that I could tag you!)

Willas walks ahead and Sansa hesitates before following suit. Normally Sansa would stop by and chat for a bit with Jeyne at the reception desk but she doesn't want to interrupt. She's ready to walk by and head straight to her office when Jeyne calls out her name in obvious relief.

Frowning for the first time today, Sansa redirects her route. The man Jeyne had been speaking to turns around to face her so quickly it's almost comical.

She would laugh to herself but then she see his face. Dark hair. Grey eyes. Full lips. For a second (or two or three...) Sansa's reality shatters before piecing itself back together into a kaleidoscope of bright colors and pure light.

a reincarnation/time travel au, in which Melisandre and the lord of light do some devious things and bring sansa back to life after she dies in canon-era. except it isn’t canon-sansa that’s brought back, it’s modern sansa. 

this features SO MUCH ANGST from jon. seriously that boy is just one big pile of melancholy in this fic, because he longs for sansa. but never fear, there is a happy ending, and while it certainly soothes your heart after this fic stomped on it, honestly the angst is the best part. Jon’s love for sansa really jumps out of the screen, and there were so many times that my heart ached for him. 

Swarovski Crystals by jeynestheon 

Jon has a type.

The other girls.

Short, lean, and brash, with mouths bigger than his father’s ego. Tomboys. He dates girls that make their own shorts by tearing apart their winter jeans and always wear the same battered pair chuck taylor’s. They like when he takes them hiking for the first date, and they don’t act shy when he fucks them in the car afterwards. They prefer cheap 24 hour diners to the best italian restaurants in town. Their nail polish is always chipped when they grasp his hair as he moves down between their legs. They have random stick and poke tattoos. They snort when they laugh. They have families that they will inevitably hide him from. Rich boyfriends don’t gel well with their real world. He is a fantasy. He’s a way to pass time. And that’s fine. He likes it uncomplicated. That’s his type, all in all—un fucking complicated.

And the girl sitting at the end of the bar—she isn’t Jon’s type in the slightest.

jon meets sansa in Paris, has a dirty one night stand with her, and then can’t stop thinking about her.

THIS FIC CAME AND TOOK NO PRISONERS. hOnEsTlY, I can’t rec this enough. it just fucking . . . took me by the throat and didn’t let go. jon is a rich playboy (kinda) who is utterly in over his head when it comes to sansa, and like . . . who doesn’t love jon being confused and shook by sansa, no matter how rich he is? 

A Dress of a Different Kind by @jade-masquerade

Jon isn’t so sure about a gift Sansa receives courtesy of one of their visitors from Qarth until she convinces him otherwise.

this fic is exactly what you think it is AND IT’S GLORIOUS. CUE AMAZING SMUT. 

With Joy by @alltheprettylittlewolves

By mutual, unspoken agreement, Jon spends years avoiding Sansa. Yes, she’s his soulmate, but to say it’s complicated is putting it mildly. They are finally brought together by a gift from Sam.

Written for Jonsa Week 2019, Day 2: Tropes

modern au, in which jon and sansa are soulmates but think they’re half-siblings. except they aren’t. 

speaking of fics that S L A Y E D me. now, I love a good canon-set sibling kink (holy shit that’s weird to write) as much as the next jonsa, but I don’t like reading fics in modern settings where they’re related in any way, even just cousins. idk, call me old fashioned. 

but THIS. YOU GET ALL THE ANGST BUT NONE OF THE ICK. WHO DOESN’T WANT THAT?! (no seriously, tell me, I just want a few words ...) 

Roses by @jonsastan

“Stark could be right.” One said, biting into something that had been cooking in the fire. “We never see him south of the Wall, and he never fights those fuckin’ crows like his father used to.”

Jon stood, burying his knife into the elk flesh before moving to the fireside.

“What does that southern kneeler say about me?” He asked, meeting the eye of every man and woman there. The freefolk had no monarch, no royal family, and yet Jon had become King-beyond-the-Wall after his father.

King of Stone and Ice and Snow.

- - - - - - - Jonsa Week - Day Four: Songs - {Myths} - Lies

jon sneaks into winterfell under the guise of being a bard. sansa knows he’s lying. 

honestly, I hadn’t intended to read this. Idk why I'm not a fan of wilding!jon fics, but I just don’t read them. I clicked on this bc I saw a snippet of it on Tumblr, and I don't regret it! not only that, but I obvi liked it enough to rec it! 

A Revelation by Janina 

Based on a prompt on Tumblr: cruyffsbeckenbauer asked: Could you write something angsty where Jon realizes he loves Sansa differently once Arya returns?

an oldie, but I rediscovered it this week and immediately fell in love again. most of ya’ll have probs read this, but if you haven’t, get on it. it features jon awkwardly trying to do with Arya the things he does with sansa, and realising that it is . . . NOT the same 

ok, that brings the list to a close! congrats if you got all the way through it, and I'd love to know which of them you read. 

thanks again to all the amazing jonsa fic writers out there, ya’ll kept us alive after the series ended. 

#jonsa #jon x sansa #jonsa fic #jon x sansa fic #lady alice's weekly fic rec #this week i loved . . .