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kaypeace21 · 3 years

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Will’s fear of clowns

*Ps -not mine. this is a submission from an anon. tw: for s.a. It’s an interesting submission. ANON-please make a tumblr account already . I’m begging you XD

Hi! It’s me, Lonnie Meth Anon. Back with more depressing thoughts about Lonnie!

I just read your post on Jonathan’s ab*se at the hands of Lonnie, and I second it all. It breaks my heart. But it also got me thinking deeper about Will’s fear of clowns. I think you’re right that part of the horror for Will is that the clown attacks in bed. The bed is, obviously, like you say, a common site for s*xual assault. (Doesn’t El’s picture of “three legged Brenner” also have a bed in it? In a picture with not much else?) The fact that Will needed Joyce to sleep with him for a week suggests he was specifically feeling unsafe in bed, or at night.

But maybe it’s not just the location of the attack in Poltergeist that Will found so harrowing. Maybe it’s the combination of that location with the fact of a clown being the attacker.

I think Lonnie might have dressed up as a clown for Will’s birthday one year, and something happened.

In this instance, I don’t think Joyce would know what happened. I think the incident in her mind would be something like “Lonnie dressed up and Will was scared of the costume”. She might even have thought it was cute. Just a typical little kid fear of something mundane. When she teases him about Poltergeist, she doesn’t actually say the movie was the START of his fear of clowns. Just that he was afraid of that particular clown. The general fear of clowns could have been an older one, going back to when Will was even younger.

Maybe Will even liked clowns, before whatever happened with Lonnie turned them into a source of fear for him. Will has a lion plushie (lions are commonly found in the circus) and the circus seems like the kind of vibrant, colorful environment full of outcast, that a young gay kid would really enjoy. If Will did like circuses and Lonnie poisoned that for him, that’s just another reason to hate Lonnie. But it definitely seems possible.

Lonnie is a deadbeat dad in general, but we’ve seen before that he’s capable of faking the “family man” act in front of Joyce and their neighbors. We’ve also seen that even though he treats Will horribly, he would also try and keep Will on his side with father son bonding activities, like baseball. And Will’s birthday is one of the few occasions Lonnie makes a half-assed kind of effort, even when there’s nothing directly in it for him. He sends that card, even though it’s late. Maybe Joyce made called him up and made him send it, but she always seemed happy to keep Lonnie out of the picture. She didn’t even want to involve him when Will went missing. And we know Jonathan would never try and facilitate more interactions between Lonnie and Will. So it seems like Lonnie did this of his own accord, when he realized he’d missed the day. Kind of weird. And it’s classic abuser behavior, to make contact on an anniversary date, reminding you they exist and you can’t escape them. Reminding you to keep quiet. Or hoping you’ll miss them, remember the “good times” when they made an effort, and let them back into your life. (Ugh.)

So, anyway, back to my theory. Young Will likes circuses, and the Byers family are poor, so they can’t afford to take him to one, or throw him a party at an ice cream parlor or a bowling alley, like other kids. It makes sense that they would have a party at home instead, and that the family themselves might dress up. We know Joyce made Will’s Ghostbusters costume in season two, and a clown is a pretty easy costume. Most of it is just make up. It’s possible the whole thing was Joyce’s idea, and she made the costume, and Lonnie just went along with it to look like a good dad in her eyes.

Remember how we see Bob (Will’s new father figure) dressing up in costume for Halloween? Joyce loves it. This is a thing good dads do, to have fun with their kids. That’s also the same episode we see Will scared by a guy in a clown costume, and Jonathan is hyper-protective of him that night. School is okay, but he doesn’t want him trick or treating. (Like he knows that school is a safe environment, but in other contexts, costumes and parties might be a trigger for Will.) Jonathan is convinced to leave Will and “let him have fun” and what happens? The clown attacks. Later that night Jonathan goes to a costume party himself, where he finds Nancy upset and takes her safely home. Maybe this is how Will’s birthday party ended - with Jonathan finding Will upset, and trying to comfort him. The whole night could be playing out like a parallel to that birthday party, from Jonathan’s perspective.

What actually happened with Will and Lonnie is up for debate. It’s possible there was a s*xual assault, and that’s why the clown scene in Poltergeist was such a trigger for Will. Or maybe Lonnie thought circuses weren’t “manly” enough for his son to like, and actively tried to scare Will, so he wouldn’t like them anymore. It’s hard to know. Something would have happened though, and probably something pretty formative, because the fear of clowns lasts a long time.

Something else interesting is that when Mr Clarke is talking about the Upside Down in season one, he uses the metaphor of the flea and the acrobat. Acrobats are a main act in the circus, and, well … fleas. Flea circuses. That’s a thing. Maybe it’s a hint that the trauma that created the Upside Down was circus / clown - related?

Kali, El, and their gang wear clown masks too, when they’re going to confront their childhood trauma, and the child-like Alexei is surrounded by clowns when he is killed at the fair.

Clowns are just so associated with birthday parties and little kids, that it doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me they’re Will’s biggest fear. Especially as the show keeps dropping hints about Lonnie and Will’s birthday. It feels like there’s more to the story. I have a horrible feeling SOMETHING happened.

RESPONE (kaypeace):

I think it’s very possible-that maybe he did dress as a clown for Will’s birthday and something happened. We have alexi (paralleled to Will) playing carnival games with kids. Then he's attacked by the Lonnie-look alike : and alexi looks at his wound then stares at all the clowns laughing around him. Joyce and Murray find Alexi bleeding/dy*ng next to a clown statue. As joyce looks in horror and Murray says to her, he was “only gone for a second” (which sounds like something you’d say in relation to a kid you were supposed to watch-running off ). We also had sarah at age 7 die while wearing a gown with clowns on it (Will: it was a 7 the demogorgan it got me). Death of innocence symbolism? Hopper also describes his depression as a cave- he goes through the carnival ride where it mentions a "cave of horrors", which had decor of a tiger and a clown painting. So yeah... whatever happened probably isn't good. So- there may be some symbolism there in relation to Will’s past. Not only because (like I and you have mentioned before) Lonnie is highly associated with birthdays. And canonically we know he mentally scarred jonathan on his b-day. But also, s4’s ‘victor creel’ may be an easteregg to the xmen character victor creed- who had a tradition of tra*matizing family members specifically on their bdays

As another alternative:I could also totally see Lonnie “ruining” circuses for Will because it’s not “manly” to him. Like how Jonathan liked thumper the rabbit-from the film bambi. in the film, Thumper is bambi’s bff, and the hunters are the bad guys who k*ll Bambi’s mother and terrorize all the wildlife. SO yeah- making Jonathan become a hunter, and k*ll a rabbit ,despite this fact, is really messed up. And shows Lonnie has already tried to ‘ruin’ things the boys like. By mentally scarring them in one way or another…

I also mentioned how Will’s bday could even be a trigger for jonathan in a diff post.

if the s4 bts calender hinting it’ll be near Will’s bday and easter it could be relevant to Jonathan.we know in s1 el has tra*matic flashbacks when seeing certain things- coke, closet, cat, etc. And Will in s2 has his ‘anniversary effect’ where memories flood back based on the time of year.But like … Easter has bunnies - could seeing rabbits jog stuff up for Jonathan? El seeing a cat made her have a flashback of brenner trying to make her kill a cat. Would Jonathan seeing like Easter bunny decor jog up a flashback of lonnie making him kill a rabbit? (It happened on his bday too). So Will’s b day being around easter would only fuel that memory. (heck even popped balloons may trigger gunshot symbolism idk). And then for Will there is clowns that could be a tr*gger at a party.

The flea and the acrobat analogy (in relation to Will and circuses is very interesting) and could be foreshadowing- it’s even a title for an episode so I feel like it’s narratively an important hint to …something. similar to a s1 ep being called “the bathtub”. Also, Will was compared to a circus flea- which were placed in an enclosed space, where heat was applied as they jumped and tried to escape the increasing temperatures as they burned .Which could relate to my theory about Will having a se*zure due his body overheating due to Lonnie injecting him with m*th.

If Will’s bday is in s4- I feel like Lonnie will come back in some capacity (flashback or literally). The ‘sorry, I forgot you b day’ card from Lonnie in s2, in Lonnie’s shed Joyce mentioning Will’s b day, the rainbow ‘happy birthday cup’ placed next to Will at Mike’s -while Will explains the supernatural, Lonnie already tra*matizing Jonathan on his bday, etc…

#submission #stranger things theory #will byers #lonnie byers

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upside-down-uni · 3 years

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Hey! Idk if this is too much t9 ask, but could you rec me 2, 19, 20, 45, 55, 63, 69, 71, 72, 75, 86, 104, 111, 116, 131? sorry if it’s a lot but thanks in advance if u can rec me some! :)

Hi, you're in luck! I have an essay to procrastinate on and this ask is just the right thing to distract me! Here you go, I hope you'll find something that you like:

2. a book with a blue cover

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. When i read it for the first time I was just on the brink of going to uni, still figuring out what I even wanted to study and this book just wrapped me in a warm blanket and said "it's going to be okay". I love the main characters Frances and Aled, their arcs and especially the really nice and quiet queer rep in this book.

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

The Knife Of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. When I start a book I generally have the feeling that I can't put it away until I have finished it. With The Knife Of Never Letting Go my problem was that I did want to read it but it didn't fit my mood, so I couldn't bring myself to read it but also beat myself up about not reading it until I put it back onto my shelf. So, I basically pushed myself into a reading slump over this book.

21. a book with a red cover

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers. I enjoyed this book so much but probably not for the reasons most people would think I enjoyed it? The wlw romance was definitely nice and I really liked them being dramatic but also kind of mundane? What really got me though was the strong theme of found family of young adults and queer friendships, that really yanked the yearning hours wide fucking open for me. (I also liked that in the end the book wasn't as much about romance as it was about finding yourself after surrendering yourself to academia for ages and working through your issues.)

45. a book featuring the friends to lovers trope

The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. I adore this book. It's so long and there's so much incredible world building and history in it that it made reading an untter delight! Coming in it was a bit hard to acclimate to the slow paste but after a while I just settled in and enjoyed the ride. It's a breathtaking story in a breathtaking universe and afaik there's a second part coming!

55. a book with a satisfying ending

Yolk by Mary H. K. Choi. Yolk doesn't really have an ending in the sense of a "happily ever after" but I really loved where the author chose to leave the characters and how she did it. The book is quite different from what I usually read, tonewise, but especially that ending made me leave the book with a warm feeling. (also the cover is yellow and really really gorgeous)

63. a book that actually made you laugh out loud

I would've reccd Red White and Royal Blue but judging by your url you've read that already...sooooo, it's Snapdragon by Kat Leyh! Super cute graphic novel, with a weird and adorable storyline and such lovable characters!

69. your favorite mythological retelling

I haven't read a mythological retelling in ages, so basic Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan will have to do.

71. your favorite LGBTQ+ fiction

now that's just rude how am I supposed to choose?? I'll say it's Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire and Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and Loveless by Alice Oseman. I feel very strongly and very distinctly about all of them, if you can get your hands on them my only comment is READ. (and maybe make sure you're okay with gothic sci-fi horror for Gideon The Ninth)

72. a book with a gorgeous cover

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. It's her adult gothic horror debut after The Miseducation of Cameron Post and not only is the hardcover just stunning in black and red, it also got illustrations inside!! (And all teh women are queer and it's deliciously fucked up!)

75 a book featuring the I'm not like other girls trope

I think the closest I can come to that is The Lady's Guide To Piracy and Petticoats by Mackenzi Lee. The main character has to unlearn a bunch of stuff really fast if she wants to get along with the only other people that will help her. We have road trips in the 16th century, kidnapping and asshole husbands to be, piracy of course and friendship!

86. a book with an insane plot twist

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand. Sawkill Girls was my first touch with horror and I have to say I have no idea whether there was heavy foreshadowing. I think I remember thinking that there was something else to come but when the shit hit the fan I just sat there with big questionmarks over my head because I had read the book in a frenzy in one evening and truly did NOT anticipate it. As someone who did not read horror or thriller before this I have to say I was already insanely confused and disgusted by a bunch of stuff that went down. But then...uh. the thing happened and I was just lost. (In a good way though.)

104. a fluffy sweet read

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann. It's been a while ever since I read it but it's essentially a cute summer story about Alice who's a disaster bisexual when she sees people she finds cute. Which is a little inconvenient because the new guy at her job is really, really, really extremely cute and she ceases to function around him. There's best friend drama, eating pizza iirc and figuring shit out!

111. a book writing a book

I assume it's either "a book about writing a book" or I am literally supposed to rec a book that is writing a book...I'm going to rec a book that is about books! (because I can.) It's The Girl Who Reads on the Métro by Christine Féret-Fleury and it follows a young woman called Juliette wo gets sucked into an old bookseller's world of life saving, life changing books. A really quiet, really cute book.

116. a book with multiple povs

the Reckless books by Cornelia Funke! Simply divine stroytelling, a vibrant world and amazing characters! I have to say that I only know the German original so I don't know what the English translation might be like.

131. recommend any book you like

um. so knife gang members and people who follow my main, you'll once again be subjected to me being a mess because of lesbian necromancers in space! I've mentioned it before, it lives in my head rent free, it is the one, the only Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! It's an insane sci-fi horror fantasy blend where Gideon has to play cavalier to Reverend Daughter Harrowhark I-love-being- an-absolute-pain-in-the-ass-to-Gideon Nonagesimus to help her become an uber-necromancer (like Harrow needs motivation to become even more of a nerd and shockingly good at necromancy) for the Necrolord Prime/Undying Emperor. There's BEAUTIFUL WRITING sprinkled with MEMES when you least expect it. There is incredible toxic codependency and repression. There's MURDER. There's fancy necromancy theorems and DUELS. There's enemies to begrudging allies to ??? Staple your socks to your feet or this book will blow them clean off!

#book rec asks #mo answers #thanks for asking!#idk when you sent this ask but it popped up in my inbox just today so here you go!

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fbdo1986 · 3 years

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halloween headcanons for everyone’s (or at least my own) favorite ot3!

i’m approaching this with the au in place that they don’t start dating until the summer after senior year/a few weeks up to a month after the events of the film! so they don’t really do the high school party thing in their relationship! that being said, ferris and sloane did go to a few halloween parties while dating in hs, and were always known for their couples costumes that Obviously only a bi guy and girl could pull off! consider: they went as romeo and juliet one year, wearing clothing that resembled shakespearean dress. that’s all you need to know about these two giantic and obnoxious dorks who are literally perfect for one another and also cooler than the population of their high school.

when it comes to halloweens in their relationship though, they tend to stick to themselves/a night in! when they’re in college they sort of try the whole party thing, but it’s really not cameron’s scene, so they sorta abandon it! if the two are really itching to go to a party though, cam will stay home and prep their own party in his dorm while they go out for a bit!

what their parties entail: halloween music! these three love their dance parties, so they always need a soundtrack! the classics everyone loves! the monster mash! psycho killer! highway to hell! werewolves of london! also, horror/halloween movies! none of them are scared of them, although cam can be slightly squeamish when it comes to gore and blood, but he sucks it up most of the time. they end up watching campy halloween flicks more often than not, they’re ferris’s favorite! sloane has a love-hate relationship with slasher movies (hate mostly for the ones that exploit their female protagonists) but she likes the more classic ones! i think that ferris is very adamant about how anti-feminist and sexist a lot of horror movies are, even moreso than sloane is, and it makes cam and sloane laugh. of course they agree, but there’s something totally hilarious about pausing a movie mid-way through only for ferris bueller to rant to you about anti-feminist movies. i think cameron likes thrillers the best! they always have a good time with paranormal movies too. movies bring the Best out of chatty ferris, and they don’t mind, because out of any movie to talk during, why wouldn’t it be during a horror movie in which you bond in yelling hopelessly for the protagonist to make a better decision? fun fact! they all like watching it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown together early in the evening. it’s a childhood staple for all three of them, and they like to prepare themselves by making big mugs of tea/cocoa/apple cider beforehand, putting on their comfiest sweaters, and cozying up on the couch!

candy preferences!!!!! idk why this brings me so much joy to think about but it does! first off, ferris has an ADAMANT hatred of candy corn. the first time sloane brings it home it becomes a huge Thing because of course, everything is a Thing with ferris. sloane doesn’t really see what the problem is, but this sends ferris into a giant spiel about how much it sucks, which ends with cameron annoyingly trying to hit ferris with said candy corn to shut him up. cameron won’t eat a lot of it anyway because it’s so sugary, so sloane doesn’t find it worth it to get any because it’d just be her having it. however, it becomes an inside joke every subsequent holiday, sloane taunting him with a small amount she’s acquired somewhere. ferris likes chocolate-y candy the best, cameron prefers chocolate candies with caramel, and sloane likes peanut butter and chocolate the best!

costumes! i touched on this slightly in the first hc but i honestly don’t think the trio are going to dress up in costume if they’re just sitting in cam’s dorm/are at home. it’s a thing if they’re having friends over (or if jeanie comes to visit! they like to go full out for her if she’s coming) or if they go out, but it’s not the usual. instead, they still wear like, halloween attire/themed clothing and obviously spend time in their thoroughly decorated living room. if they do dress up, i’ve thought of a few costumes i definitely think they’d try their hand at! i definitely think one year cameron dresses up like a vampire/dracula and like. yes these sweeties are always aware of how beautiful their partners are but the fact that he looks So starkly different from how he normally shocks them in the best way because he looks so awesome and so handsome. almost immediately, after they process their initial shock of how different cam looks, sloane and ferris begin a bit about how they’re just two innocent strangers who somehow showed up at his castle and they “really hope they don’t get turned into vampires by this tall handsome and brooding stranger!” this continues until they’re just hanging out on the couch and watching a movie when ferris lays his head on cam’s shoulder and sloane shouts that his neck is exposed, so she has to “kill” him by stabbing him in the heart with a stake before he turns ferris into a vampire, it’s so incredibly dramatic but cam loves every second of it. as suggested by my friend jon, i think ferris as a zombie baseball player would be a fantastic look. honestly, ferris as any type of jock would definitely make cam and sloane swoon, even though cameron is technically the jock out of the three of them. while this is mildly self indulgent just because i think sloane would rock a suit, i think if sloane went as a magician one year, complete with a top hat of course, i think she’d have so much fun with it! generally i think sloane likes to have a lot of fun with her costumes, and likes to get them super accurate to whatever she’s portraying. i also think that costumes for three people are a bit hard to come by, but for shits i’m gonna explore the advanced taste if the three of them went as brian, sally, and maximillian from cabaret. i think it’d be especially fun if cameron was brian, since technically ferris should be since he’s the one who has a lasting relationship with sally, but let’s be honest with ourselves. who suits a suave stranger like max more than ferris?

traditions! i touched on this also a bit earlier, but i think the trio generally love cooking for one another, so i think they make it a point to make things extra special on holidays! they all probably contribute to cooking the various parts of meals together, but usually one of them (most likely sloane, she’s precise with measurements that baking requires whereas ferris likes to have more fun improvising when cooking) will make dessert! it’s almost always pumpkin cookies, but sometimes a pie will make an appearance! also, i think because these three are incredibly sentimental, a holiday absolutely calls for photos together, even during their mundane halloweens spent at home. they’re brandishing their jack-o-lantern’s, making sure there’s evidence of their costumes when they dress up, and if jeanie is coming over it’s a must. they like having photos of them with her. no one’s quite as much of family as she is! expanding on jeanie, i think if jeanie does come to visit, chances are (it’s a fun spin on a headcanon i made not too long ago) she brings the bueller dog who she’s firmly taken in to their apartment and they end up walking him all together around the neighborhood, admiring the decorations and saying hello to any kids who might be passing through there trick-or-treating! (also jeanie acts like she’s too cool for this, but she’s definitely got some sort of costume on this dog. there’s no way around it.)

#fucking betrayed myself and spelled carmel like caramel what’s happening to me #yknow i really am thinking about how much the trio would like an american werewolf in london #also AGH having cam being a vampire/dracula to just. subvert/reclaim vampirism from its antisemitic origins? I LOVE IT #i really COULD go on but i also wanna get these out there!!!!! enjoy these they're quite silly but i love these three and i love their #little domestic life together #fbdo rambles #ferris bueller #sloane peterson #cameron frye #happy halloween babes!!!!!

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maxilsmaster · 4 years

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writer ask meme

https://ciiardha-blog.tumblr.com/post/158543702841/writer-ask-meme

1. Tell us about your WIP! right now, i’m working on a fic with classicfresh, scifell, errink, dustberry, horrorlust, afterdeath and killercreammare. basically, dream invited everyone on a picnic but it went horribly wrong and everyone started arguing.

2. Where is your favorite place to write? i mostly write stuff out on google docs then post to ao3, but sometimes i just skip to ao3

3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing? favorite: i don’t necessarily have to share my work. least favorite: describing things.

4. Do you have any writing habits/rituals? lots of dialogue, start with a line of dialogue.

5. Top five formative books? haha what

6. Favorite character you’ve written? probably error or ink. maybe my own sans, illusion.

7. Favorite/most inspirational book? i like the sight (warriors arc 3 book 1) and curiosity killed the error (by the lovely @shandycandy278).

8. Do you have any writing buddies or critique partners? i recently gained a position beta-reading for @jasmynation‘s undermaze fic. also my friend CosmoCat07 on ao3

9. Favorite/least favorite tropes? i have no idea.

10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with CosmoCat07

11. What are you planning to work on next? dying inside slowly

12. Which story of yours do you like best? why? New Beginnings, the thing I’m writing with CosmoCat07.

13. Describe your writing process oh hey this would be funny *types ideas on notepad on chromebook* *writes it out on google docs*

14. What does it take for you to be ready to write a book? (i.e. do you research? outline? make a playlist or pinterest board? wing it?) type a vague idea, and wing it from there

15. How do you deal with self-doubt when writing? bottle it up internally :D

16. Cover love/dream covers? i don’t like covers.

17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing? not sex.

18. Tell us about that one book you’ll never let anyone read my first warriors fanfic. 30 chapters of me not fully understanding warriors. (un)fortunately, it got deleted when my old laptop broke.

19. How do you cope with writer’s block? write more

20. Any advice for young writers/advice you wish someone would have given you early on? don’t doubt yourself.

21. What aspect of your writing are you most proud of? the grammar, definitely. i’m not giving a shit about it here, but i’m good at grammar. no grammarly stop giving me your ads, i can write just fine on my own.

22. Tell us about the books on your “to write” list 50 one-shots then 70+ more.

23. Most anticipated upcoming books? the next warriors books

24. Do you remember the moment you decided to become a writer/author? no

25. What’s your worldbuilding process like? what worldbuilding process?

26. What’s the most research you’ve ever put into a book? very. very. VERY. little.

27. Every writer’s least favorite question - where does your inspiration come from? Do you do certain things to make yourself more inspired? Is it easy for you to come up with story ideas? inspiration? fanfiction. it’s pretty easy.

28. How do you stay focused on your own work and how do you deal with comparison? i don’t compare and i don’t get comparison. i’m not that popular.

29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published? hobby

30. Do you like to read books similar to your project while you’re drafting or do you stick to non-fiction/un-similar works? all i read is fanfiction all i read is undertale fanfiction all i write is basically undertale fanfiction

31. Top five favorite books in your genre? genre: fanfiction. ckte, um ckte, undermaze, our tangled web, and uh ckte. i like ckte.

32. On average how much do you write in a day? do you have trouble staying focused/getting the word count in? i have trouble writing over 1000 words at once, but i try. i also write a lot. it’s been occupying most of my time lately.

33. What’s your revision/rewriting process like? oh, i messed up this word. edit. oh, this sentence would fit here... add sentence. oh my god this whole story sucks burn it in hell.

34. Unpopular writing thoughts/opinions? idk.

35. Post the last sentence you wrote from prompt 49. dear god. at least i’m done prompt 5...

“S’ why m’ not gettin’ ya somethin’ greasy,” Red answered, pulling open the door to Grillby’s.

36. Post a snippet SPOILERS FOR PROMPT 33 OF MY THING

Cross stepped between the two. “Alright, who wants to play hide and seek?”

“OOH! ME!” Blue cheered, wiggling around in the strings.

Horror raised the hand his axe was in, and Killer raised a hand as he stood up to retrieve his knife from the wall it had been stuck in from when he threw it. Meanwhile, Dust and Error let out a groan.

“Alright, majority rules, we’re doing hide and seek!”

“Yay!” Horror, Blue and Killer said, all in different tones.

“And Error, no cheating this time,” Cross ordered. “You know what, you can seek.”

“Fuck you,” Error spat as he dropped Blue from the strings. Killer caught Blue dramatically. “That was gay.”

“Then it’s a good thing we’re already dating,” Killer refuted, dipping Blue and kissing him.

“EIGHT! NINE! TEN!” Error yelled, turning around and subsequently causing everyone to jump.

They then proceeded to run out of the room.

37. Do you ever write long handed or do you prefer to type everything? type. i can’t write with a pencil for shit.

38. How do you nail voice in your books? i don’t XD

39. Do you spend a lot of time analyzing and studying the work of authors you admire? idk, really

40. Do you look up to any of your writer buddies? shandy

41. Are there any books you feel have shaped you as a writer? what?

42. How many drafts do you usually write before you feel satisfied? one, then edit.

43. How do you deal with rejection? haven’t had to yet.

44. Why (and when) did you decide to become a writer? late grade 7, i guess. that was when i first started getting into warriors.

45. First or third person? third

46. Past or present tense? past, definitely

47. Single or dual/multi POV? i’m cool with either

48. Do you prefer to write skimpy drafts and flesh them out later, or write too much and cut it back? write everything in one go (spread out over multiple days, normally), then add/remove a few details

49. Favorite fictional world? right now utmv but i also like warriors

50. Do you share your rough drafts or do you wait until everything is all polished? i edit before i post, but i post individual chapters

51. Are you a secretive writer or do you talk with your friends about your books? mostly talk about it amongst the fandom

52. Who do you write for? myself, mostly.

53. What is the first line of your WIP? my current one, where i’m writing seven different ships in a one-shot?

This picnic was a terrible idea. Everyone was arguing over something so pointless and mundane that it may as well not even have started.

54. Favorite first line/opening you’ve written? not the one above

55. How do you manage your time/make time for writing? (do you set aside time to write every day or do you only write when you have a lot of free time?) i just write constantly

#spoilers for my one-shots #55 questions

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lord-explosion-baku · 5 years

Text

Thorns

Plot Summary:

Big changes are to come to Sir Cornelius Hollowstone’s School for the Phenomenally Gifted when the Supreme, the man with the living embodiment of magic itself, Toshinori Yagi announced his long awaited retirement. Six witches and six warlocks were to compete amongst themselves in trials to see who will be the next to reign over the the magical community as the Supreme.

Pairings: it’s complicated

Warnings: dark themes, occult themes, swearing, vulgar insinuations, sexual themes, slight bullying, one mention of suicide, drug use insinuation, just dark stuff idk uh

A/N: hi! I got this idea in my head while I was at work and I had to write it down! It’s a magic school au and like GIS, there’s a lot of pairings and it gets a little complicated. I just thought I’d post the first chapter here and then with updates the rest will be on my AO3 like I do with most of my serieses! (Serieses sounds wrong uh) but basically!!! Magical school heavily inspired by American Horror Story: Coven! If you can’t watch American Horror Stiry then I suggest that you don’t read this because it’s gonna get pretty dark and kinda spicy! It’s not a smut fic but there will be smut. Just throwin this into the void. For a better summary about what this story is gonna be about, you can check my AO3! Hizzzaaaht! (Everyone is aged up to 18 or older)

Magic exists but it’s nothing.

Magic is to casters the same way that instapots are to mortals. Magic is a cheat; a means to make everyday things easier to casters who have far too much power to exert and not enough time to brew their morning coffee. Magic is unbiased and has no laws to abide by until somebody was bound to come around and make them. Magic can open your car door when you’ve locked your keys on the inside but magic can’t force people to fall in love and it can’t bring people back to life. So it’s nothing.

Or so you thought.

Magic was nothing until you learned that magic is everything.

You were a third year at Sir Cornelius Hollowstone’s School For The Phenomenally Gifted, aptly and absurdly named after a famous warlock who hailed as Supreme three hundred long years ago, who once settled the war between casters and the demons in the underworld by slicing his entire right arm off and feeding it to a hungry hell pit. This would actually be your second year attending Hollowstone since the all girls academy you previously attended in your first year was shut down due to poor funding and the plague of talking rodents that infiltrated the school grounds who had demands that no caster was willing to meet. The current Supreme, the man with the living embodiment of magic itself, Toshinori Yagi, was all too willing to flex his power and rule that the boys and girls academies would be merged in hopes of bringing the magical community closer together. However, if anything, that just made everyone all the more competitive.

Witches and Warlocks did not agree on a lot of things and part of the reason for that was because there hadn’t been a witch reigning as Supreme in almost four hundred years, half because one warlock Supreme from the past lived to be over two hundred years old and half because the witches just gave up as a whole.

There was a power imbalance in the community as well that was very obviously misogynistic in its own right. When the time came for a Supreme to retire, both witches and warlocks were to compete amongst their selective gender for the titles of High Priestess and High Priest. After the two champions are chosen, they must compete against one another to see who will be ascending as the next Supreme. Many odd years ago, a warlock Supreme made the preposterous law that when the High Priest champion became the Supreme, the High Priestess champion would be forced to marry him. He made it law on the grounds that he had fallen deeply in love with his champion counterpart, Harleen Blackwater, who did not reciprocate his feelings. Upon hearing the terrible news that she was to wed the Supreme, she exhausted the dauntless task of taking her own life, resulting in the tradition of High Priestesses ending themselves when they did not become the next Supreme, as one last hail to Lady Blackwater. Of course, that wasn’t mandatory. The tradition was never set in stone but when it did happen, it wasn’t something that the community would bat an eyelash at. It just be like that sometimes.

The school year was starting out with an excited frenzy, much to your annoyance, because Yagi had just announced his retirement which meant the trials for the champions were about to begin. Six third year witches and six third year warlocks were to be selected to compete for their champion titles and that was all anybody could talk about. You, on the other hand, didn’t care for the trials, rather, you wished you didn’t. Of course, big changes like this piqued anybody’s interest but you were a cynical witch and a mundane one at that. You were called a T.Di witch, which stood for Telekinesis and Divination. Mortals would think “oh wow, telekinesis! That’s super OP!” but it wasn’t. Not in your world. Telekinesis was the most versatile of the seven affinities and though, when used correctly, it could be very powerful, more often than not, it was only used to float objects to lazy casters. Everyone had telekinesis. To put it simply, you weren’t special. Your other affinity, divination, was looked down upon in your community. Divination: the ability to obtain direct knowledge of an object, person, location, or physical event through a relating energy. Basically if someone needed something to be found, you suddenly became their best friend until you helped them with their lost item and then you’d get tossed back into Loser Village, population: you and Izuku Midoriya.

Most third years already had two of the seven affinities, those seven affinities, the seven divine powers granted to casters, being telekinesis, pyromancy, divination, transmutation, decensum, vitalum vitalus, and concilium. Poor Izuku Midoriya was just a T warlock; he could only use telekinesis and, on top of that, he still had to use a wand. Wands were given to first years so they could get a better grip on channeling their magic. After understanding the basic fundamentals of magic, second years learn to wield their power with their hands and by the end of the of the year, all students should have a better grasp on it. Midoriya was still a ways behind. You felt sorry for him but at least he was pretty decent at memorizing spells. As the two of you were each other’s only semi-casual friends, you helped each other out a lot. He was quite intelligent so he was your encyclopedia and since he was always losing things, you were his finder’s eye.

So you knew that the trials had absolutely nothing to do with you. You hoped whoever was to become the next High Priest and Priestess were two casters that were interested in changing the law a bit but it would most likely be two students who’d already been royal assholes to you. Still, you’d probably end up watching some of the trials, particularly the trials involving memorization or wit but other than that, you’d stay away from the discourse.

You spent most of your time in the herbology room, which was where you were now, since it was the classroom nobody could really use magic to excel in unless one had chlorokinesis like Ibara Shiozaki. You liked tending to the plants. They didn’t care if you were a T.Di witch nor did they talk down to you. They only showed you their appreciation by blooming for you after you’d fed them all your tender love and care.

You were lucky enough to aide for Professor Aizawa’s Herbology 1 class, which proceeded into his Herbology 2 class that you were taking straight afterwards. After taking his Herbology 1 and Potions 2 classes the previous year, he had quickly become your favorite professor at Hollowstone and you, hopefully, had become his favorite student. When the class you aided for ended and it was passing period, Aizawa would ask you for answers to problems he already knew the solutions to, just to humor you and test your knowledge— a fun game that you appreciated.

“A warlock has been struck with a hex that has caused him to convulse and vomit uncontrollably. He’s lost all his teeth in the process. Would you use hawthorn, licorice, or juniper to wean him away from his ailments?”

You stopped tapping your pen on the lab bench you were sitting on and brought it to your lips, eyeing your teacher to see if he was giving you some sort of tell, but Aizawa’s expression was as unreadable as ever.

“Is he suffering from any other kinds of symptoms? How is his heart?”

“Same as it was before the hex and he has no other symptoms aside from the ones I’ve listed.”

“Alright then, that’s easy! Juniper!”

In response, Aizawa quirked a brow, signaling that he needed more than just a simple answer. There was always a catch with him.

“Juniper and…” one steady tap of the pen on your lips brought the answer to your head, “yarrow!”

Aizawa reached out, grabbed the pen away from your lips and placed it next to you on the bench, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “Go on.”

You pulled down on your school skirt, always needing to fidget with something when you had to concentrate. Aizawa rolled his eyes and you jokingly scowled back him.

“I would use the juniper and mix it with crushed yarrow. No-! I’d cut the juniper and fuse it with yarrow extract, then that together and give it to the warlock. Then maybe to relax his muscle spasms, I’d have him smoke some lavender because... I’m nice.”

Aizawa clicked his tongue and took your pen from the bench. “Clever witch,” he said, opening his notebook to scribble in it.

“What! That was noteworthy?” You said with a little more excitement than you wanted to show him. If anything, you didn’t want to be a loner and a teacher’s pet but getting Aizawa’s approval was something special to you.

“It was. I would’ve crushed the juniper and something with the same properties as yarrow together and brewed that together but letting the juniper soak in yarrow is close to genius. And I probably wouldn’t have even thought about bringing lavender into the equation. I’m impressed.”

“I carry around dried lavender anyways and I’m always trying to think about what I can use it with,” you grinned sheepishly, trying to hide how thrilled you were at receiving his praise.

“You know, I’m a little disappointed in you.”

You frowned. “I don’t smoke the lavender myself. I just carry it around with me.”

He chuckled. “That’s not why I’m disappointed… why aren’t you taking my potions class this year?”

“Oh…” If you were being honest, you didn’t dislike potions but the students that were going to be taking the class were a whole lot of people you wanted to avoid. Getting bullied at an all girls academy was one thing but now that you had witches and warlocks laughing at the T.Di witch, it was a little overbearing. “I had to choose between aiding and potions and… I don’t know. I guess I really like plants.”

“There are plants in my potions class.”

“Yeah.” And other really gifted casters but you didn’t want him to know how insecure you were.

“Hmph,” he closed his notebook and eyed your school bag that was draped across the chair you were supposed to be sitting on. “So you carry dried lavender around?”

“Mhmm…” your face began to flush.

“And you don’t smoke it?”

“Ha?” Your breath caught in your throat. In the witching world, there weren’t a whole lot things you could get in trouble for but you’d consumed enough mortal media to have a slight fear of getting in trouble with authoritative figures for your recreational activities. “I mean, maybe if I’ve been a bit stressed out.”

“Huh. I wouldn’t have guessed. Do you mix it with anything?”

“Professor!” Your face grew hot and the tie around your neck felt too constricting. You knew that you weren’t in any kind of trouble but you couldn’t keep your stomach from forming nervous knots.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, I really am just curious about you,” he grinned, amused at your obvious fluster. “So, you have some on you?”

You looked at your teacher and sighed. To hell with it. Reaching over, you grabbed your bag from off your chair and shook the little pouch you kept your treasure in. “If you want some, you’re gonna have to tell me what you’re going to use it for.”

“You might find it hard to believe but a teacher’s life is far more stressful than a student’s. I have… ways of destressing but a little added lavender could be quite beneficial,” he took the pouch from you. “How much can I take?”

“You can have it. I’ve got some growing in the makeshift greenhouse outside my dorm. It’ll be ready for me to clip any day now.”

He looked at you with surprised amusement. “During Autumn?”

“Well,” you smirked, “I am a clever witch.”

“That you are.” Aizawa thanked you and pocketed your pouch. At that moment, the chimes from the bell tower sounded the end of passing period and the beginning of class; a short eerie jingle you still hadn’t gotten used to even after a year.

“Big surprise,” Aizawa sighed, “everyone’s late.”

“They’re excited,” you said pointedly.

“And you’re not?”

You shrugged. You were just thankful that your last school year had something that would keep everyone else occupied.

“Alright,” he tapped your bare knee, surprising you, “get your ass off of my bench before my students think that’s okay too.”

“My ass?” You laughed, hopping down from the table. “I’m your student too, Professor Aizawa.”

He started walking towards his desk. “Then you should know that I have strict rules for my classroom. No ifs, ands, or…”

“Butts?” You offered.

He grinned and snapped his fingers, conjuring signs to sit atop all of the greenhouse benches that read ‘NO “BUTTS!”’ You stifled a snort as your classmates began shuffling into the greenhouse.

Speaking of the the recreational use of certain herbs, in walked Hanta Sero and Denki Kaminari with two big stupid grins hanging off their faces. You already felt your shoulders begin to tense as Kaminari approached you.

“Hey, tiddy witch!” He tapped you on your back but you kept your head down, resisting the urge to roll your eyes at the horrible nickname. It had been an accident on Kaminari’s part last year when he read off a list of students in your charms class and when it came to your name, he read ‘T.Di’ as ‘tiddy’. Once he saw everyone laugh at his mistake, it was all over for you and the name stuck. You weren’t sure if he knew or even cared that the nickname bothered the hell out of you. “How’s it going?”

“Fine.” You pulled your notebook out of your bag and flipped it open to the next empty page, trying to make a point that you wanted to focus on your work.

“Just fine?” You could hear the smile in his voice as he sat on the chair next to you with Sero joining him. It was a shame that Aizawa didn’t have assigned seating in this classroom. “But we’re here!”

“Uh-huh,” you began scribbling down unimportant words so it looked like you were busy but you could still feel Kaminari’s eyes on you. Finally your gaze met his. “What do you want, Kaminari?”

“I need help finding something!” His golden eyes shined while his grin widened and Sero hit his shoulder.

“Dude, don’t,” Sero said, though he covered his mouth to hide his smile.

Kaminari looked back at Sero and snickered and turned his attention back on you. “Can you help me find it?”

Your eyes narrowed. Your brain screamed, ‘shenanigans!’ but a small part of you wanted to help; the small part of you that wished to be well liked. Against your better judgement, you asked, “what is it?”

“I can’t really say what it is but I can describe it to you!”

...That was the kind of challenge that you liked to indulge in. You sighed and said, “okay. Do you have anything on you that’s related to whatever it is you’re looking for?”

“Errmmm, yes and no… maybe you can just hold my hand while I tell you about it?” He rested his hand palm-up on the table.

Your eyes flicked over to Sero whose head was buried in his arms on the bench, shaking with hidden laughter. Suspicious, you took his hand. “Alright, shoot.”

Sero let out a snort and Kaminari snickered with him. “Cool. Cool cool. Uhhh, okay… how to describe it... Well, it’s big.”

“Okay, big,” you noted, closing your eyes to allow your mind to swim through the nether. A spiral of large objects made their way past your consciousness while you started your search for Kaminari.

“And it makes me happy?”

“Happy,” you whispered, barely even able to hear the chuckles anymore. You were focused.

“It can make you happy too… especially if we were both using it.”

“Mmhmmm,” your mind took you to the greenhouse outside of your dorms and swam over to a secret trampoline that was hiding deep inside the eastern gardens of the schoolyard. From what you could tell by holding his hand, Kaminari didn’t have any idea about either of those things. “What does it look like?”

“Well,” Kaminari’s voice bounced around in your head, “it carries blood… a part of it resembles a mushroom… there’s a long, throbbing vein that runs along the underside…”

Your eyes shot open and you quickly pulled your hand away from his. You saw exactly what he was referring to and it wasn’t lost at all. In fact, it was attached to his stupid fucking body! Fuck!

“Did you find it?” Kaminari gave you a toothy grin, Sero still hunched over beside him, shaking and lost in a fit of laughter.

“No!” You spat in a hushed tone. What an incredibly vulgar joke! Wasn’t that considered sexual harassment?! Judging by the look on his face, it didn’t seem like Kaminari cared. Boys were so dumb! “I’m sorry, Kaminari, I can’t help you. It turns out, whatever you’re looking for is a little too small for me to detect!”

Sero hooted, banging his hand on the table. “She totally saw it!”

Kaminari’s smile faltered only slightly. “It’s not small, I measured it last week! It’s slightly above average!” He let out an embarrassed laugh, “you’re so cruel, tiddy witch!”

You scoffed. You weren’t cruel, he was. He might as well had dropped his slacks and flashed you! At least then everyone else would be traumatized along with you. You turned away from him and snarled, “are you done?”

Kaminari was silent for a short moment. For a second you thought that he’d finished his teasing but then he waved his hand out in front of your face. “Hey,” he whispered, “hey, are you mad?”

You ignored him and leaned closer to your desk, trying to pay attention to Aizawa’s lecture but Kaminari wasn’t having it.

“Shit,” he scooted closer to you, “wait, I’m really sorry I’ve upset you… hey… tiddy witch…?”

When you didn’t pay him any mind he teleported himself onto the other chair next to you. Kaminari was a T.Tr warlock, meaning that he already had the affinities for telekinesis and transmutation. Transmutation was simply the power to move from one location to another without occupying the spaces in between, or, in other words, teleportation. Popping up out of nowhere was just one more thing to add to the list of Kaminari’s annoying qualities. “Please don’t be mad at me!”

Aizawa stopped talking about the different properties of several disintegrating herbs and glanced at your bench, scowling at Kaminari. “Is there a problem?” He looked from Kaminari to you and silence followed. “What could possibly be so important that you need to interrupt my lecture?”

“Nothing, Professor,” the two of you said in unison. As much as Kaminari bugged you, you weren’t about to be a rat— a poor ‘woe is me, life is a nightmare, nobody is nice to me’ kid. At least, not out loud and definitely not in front of Aizawa.

Not believing either of you, Aizawa scanned the room until his eyes landed on Shiozaki, who was on the other side of the greenhouse poking at some tomato berries.

“Mr. Kaminari, switch places with Miss Shiozaki.”

In an instant, Kaminari zapped himself over by Shiozaki and said something as preposterously stupid as “hey there, sweet thang,” only to have Shiozaki toss her gorgeously thick, vine-like hair over her shoulder, stick her nose up in the air, and walk across the room. She offered you a curt smile before taking her seat between you and Sero. You liked Shiozaki. Having the power of chlorokinesis easily placed her at the top of this class with you as a close second, so you were a tad envious of her abilities but it was the kind of jealousy that drove you to do better everyday. She knew about your one-sided rivalry and even though she wasn’t competitive by nature, she’d humor you by glancing over at your work from time to time to make sure she stayed ahead of you.

You tried to relax and focus on Aizawa’s discussion about how magically charged valerian root could knock a person out with a simple whiff if aged and acutely diced but you kept feeling Kaminari’s eyes on you. After you had gotten used to it, a folded note fluttered its way to your bench. You glanced back at Kaminari who had the same damn stupid grin plastered on his face.

The note read, ‘I really am sorry! Let me make it up to you by taking you to the Cherry Moon Ceremony!’ signed with a hastily-scribbled little heart.

You nearly gagged.

Hell would freeze over before you let Denki Kaminari escort you anywhere and the world would explode before you even thought about going to the Cherry Moon Ceremony! The witching community had some sort of festival for all holidays and every full moon. The Cherry Moon occurred on the first full moon of September. It involved everyone getting very close to nude, if not completely naked, and engaging in many lewd activities, often regarding a virgin or two. Casters were an open minded people and it wasn’t that you weren’t open minded but having been raised with a caster as a mother and a mortal as a father, you were probably one of the more conservative witches around and that was saying something considering how liberal your father was while he was alive. You wouldn’t call yourself a prude, though you haven’t done anything that says otherwise, but being scantily clad in front of your classmates as well as some teachers just did not sound like a fantastic time to you. But Kaminari didn’t have to know that. Kaminari didn’t deserve to know that the thought of going out with him to an event like that flustered you beyond belief. So instead of explaining yourself to him, you turned back to him and mouthed, ‘you don’t even know my name!’

Kaminari pouted at you before whispering to get Sero’s attention. Once Sero turned to him, Kaminari pointed at you and mouthed, ‘what’s her name?!’

Sero chuckled and turned back to face Aizawa, muttering, “like hell I’m telling him.”

You leaned in and whispered over Shiozaki, “do you even know my name?”

Sero offered up a half grin and tapped his pointer finger on his temple. Right. Like Kaminari, Hanta Sero was a T.Tr warlock but he was already gifted with powers outside of the seven affinities. He was clairevoyant; a telepath. He could read people’s thoughts as well as project thoughts into other people’s minds if he wanted to. That sort of explained why he seemed more empathetic than everyone else, though, if you were in his position and you knew what was going on in the poor T.Di witch’s head, you wouldn’t let your friends make so many jokes at her expense. Other than that, Sero was an alright guy but it was easy to forget that he was a strong caster since he spends so much of his time with imbeciles like Kaminari.

Sero snickered… did he hear that?!

“Now,” Aizawa’s stern voice interrupted your train of thought, “since the lot of you were late to my class, how about a pop quiz?”

The class groaned when dozens of flower pots appeared on the benches. Every pot held the same desperate and ugly plant that looked like they used to have flowers. It hurt your heart in a way.

“If you can return some of the plant’s chlorophyll, demonstrating a freshly green hue, you’ll pass. If you can get the flower to bloom again, you’ll get an A. If you’re unable to complete either of those tasks, it’s an automatic fail. Begin.”

Quickly, you got to focusing on your plant. You knew immediately that it was of the asteraceae family. When the plant was in better shape, it seemed like seedlings had dropped down into the pot. That could’ve been the cause of its diminished state, if not from being completely neglected by Aizawa. You grinned. Flower killer Aizawa.

Tenderly, you pinch the stem and tentatively traced the poor thing. You felt your energy surge through you and as your fingers caressed your flora friend, the green hue trailed along with your touch. Reaching an old bud of the plant, your fingers grew warm as the flower began to change and warp underneath them. The corolla started to form and in an instant a gorgeous pink chrysanthemum bloomed and blushed for you.

You let out a long, squeaky yawn. Making the chrysanthemum bloom must’ve drained a lot more of your energy than you thought it would… either that or you could have had a heartier breakfast that morning. You were pleased to see Shiozaki concentrated on her flower, desperately stroking its withered stem with no success and, taking a quick glance around the room, you saw that nobody else had gotten anywhere further; one witch had actually set her pot on fire! T.Py casters.

“If you hadn’t noticed, the plant is dead. And dead means dead. There’s nothing anyone could’ve done to make these flowers bloom. So,” Aizawa’s lips twitched up into that funny grin he did whenever he pulled a past one on his student’s, “you all fail.”

That warranted another groan from the class. You furrowed your brow. Your plant was very much alive. You didn’t fail. You did another once over of the entire room. You were the only student with a flower in full bloom in front of you.

“Now I do curve your grades and since I’m positive that everyone has failed, this quiz doesn’t matter. But you’ve learned a very important life lesson. Which is…?” A pregnant pause from the room lead to Aizawa pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers in frustration. “Dead means…?”

“Dead!” Yelled one warlock from the back of the greenhouse. A wave of unenthusiastic “dead”’s followed.

“Tiddy witch’s plant isn’t dead!” Chimed in Kaminari, who, for some reason, still had eyes on you.

Aizawa froze. Slowly he turned to you. From the head of your bench, his eyes twitched down to your pot. “What?”

Finally, some good old fashioned recognition.

He walked over to behind your chair and leaned over you. He was so close that you could smell him; he had on a nice earthy blend with a hint of coffee. You tilted your head away from him. Liking your teacher’s scent was probably a bad thing. Morally gray, at least to mortals… probably.

“It appears you’ve completed the assignment,” he said in a low, hushed tone.

“This was rigged,” shouted a student. “It’s ‘cause she was the only one who wasn’t late! That’s favoritism!”

It wasn’t beyond Aizawa to pull something like that over to make a point to his lagging students but he looked awestruck. But it wasn’t a huge deal… you just healed a plant.

Aizawa cleared his throat and, not taking his eyes away from your pot, he asked, “each of these plants are exact copies of themselves. How did you do this?”

“I don’t know. I just,” another yawn escaped you and you hoped it didn’t look like you were bored or even smug with yourself, “I just did it.”

Aizawa examined your flower very closely. He brought his thumb to the steam and steadily traced your plant upwards, fingering the leaves. When he got to your ever-delighted Chrysanthemum petals, he tapped lightly on them, making some of the petals drop and flutter down gracefully on to your bench before they shriveled up back to their previous state. Aizawa clicked his tongue. He looked you straight in the eye. You held your breath. You were proud of yourself but you were sure you were about to get dragged behind your back again if Aizawa said something about you being a clever witch in front of everyone else… though hearing it again wouldn’t be so bad.

“You get a 90%. The rest of the class gets 50.”

You felt the room grow heavy. In Aizawa’s Herbology class, a 50 out of 90 was still passing but hardly. Most students took this class because they thought it was going to be an easy pass like his Herbology 1 class, so this wasn’t fun news to anybody.

There was salty energy in the air for the rest of the period but other than that, you and your chrysanthemum flower were forgotten about. When class ended, Aizawa instructed you to take the pot with you and take notes on any sudden developments your plant my form. “A pet project,” he called your task. “Take good care of it for me, okay?”

Despite your likeability plummeting after the incident, you were excited for your project. Your mind whirled with ideas on what to do with your assignment; what to do with the plant that wasn't supposed to heal. You didn’t want to disappoint Aizawa. You were, at least to him, a clever witch.

Tags for EVERYTHING (closed): @yandere-inamorata @miitaart @dessiedawnwritesfanfiction @wickedlewicked @chickennuggetsarequestionable @nevermorelanore @kpanime @ayeputita @captain-sin-allmight-queen @diisasterbii @iceformer @meganofmars @colagirl5 @colorbookshd @grimmjadeskye @sm0kingcrack @sarcastictextstuck @zellllyyyy @psionicsnow @mynahx3 @andie-in-tumblland @iamthe-leaf @midnightfeline666 @bungou-stray-alies-tales-of-aly -of-aly @rubyred-imagines @kattariapenn @heypartypeps @quirktaker @thecryingsombra @smbody-stole-mycar-radio @ghost-of-todoroki @geektastic84 @davalia @glixeo @rubycubix @mekakushi-dan-01-kido

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betweenthepage · 5 years

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Lady Smoke by Laura Sebastian

First, happy release day to Lady Smoke!

I was so immensely excited and lucky to have gotten a chance to read this book before it released. Ash Princess was one of my top reads for 2018, so of course I basically died when the ARC arrived.

In Lady Smoke we find ourselves with old and new problems. The new setting was amazing and part of the plot opened it up for other countries to be involved. I loved that we got to see the customs of the other nations. Some old faces came back and there is one specific one that I can’t wait to freely talk about. Theo’s feelings for said character were good, but lingering resentments made Theo that much more relatable.

From the moment that Theo fled to safety in the last book, she basically went into “queen mood” and though she navigates HOW to do it and struggles with figuring out what kind of Queen she will be, I loved how she was ready to embrace it, and everything that comes with it; good and bad. I do wish Theo was able to express her feelings more freely, I LIVED for the moments that she was so unflinching about the things she wanted—and more importantly—the things that have happened to her. Everyone, even those closest to her, wanted to beat around the bush while she went straight for the kill when talking about all the horrors done to her. And the love triangle...while I won’t give spoilers, I think the mystery to this is solved in this book. Though I understand Theo’s feelings, I was put off by how manipulative she had become with the feelings of Soren and Blaise. And while sometimes she did it because she thought it would help in her bid to save her country, most of the time she did it for herself.

Normally, I wouldn’t be too bothered about this, but the fact that she constantly battled her more detrimental thoughts about the characters, she decides over and over to ignore them. I believe people (fictional and otherwise) can change, but idk. I feel like there are lines people don’t get a pass for crossing; she chooses over and over to ignore the those crossed lines.

While Theo grew, there was one character that had an even bigger growth; Artemisia. We got to see another side of her and it solidified the feelings I have for this character. I will riot if any harm comes to her.

Lady Smoke is longer than Ash Princess and I felt as if it didn’t need to be. Obviously new plots were introduced to get them to where they needed, but I felt like many chapters were just full of fillers. And while I mostly enjoyed the story, I sometimes felt like it was a chore to continue reading some parts. A lot of secondary characters could have gotten more page time/certain situations could have gotten more attention instead of the more mundane things. The last couple chapters are what really saved the book from becoming JUST a gateway from point A to point B. Also saved it from being a 3 star book.

The very last page of the book...wow. I can honestly say that it contains my favorite quote out of the series thus far.

As much as I wish I could rate this the 5 stars I gave the first book, 4 out of 5 stars from me.

I’m so excited for the next book.

#lady smoke #ash princess #laura sebastian #ya books #reviews #review #my review #my reviews #rose speaks

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mikmikisnotcrack · 6 years

Text

Music Box || Im Jaebum

Fantasy AU: Ghost! Jaebum

▪▪▪

• Your grandmother was a lil weird

• When you were a kid, she always told you weird stuff. A lot of them revolved around one thing though, and that was witchery

• You thought it was really cool that your grandmother told you this witchery stuff, but eventually your parents told you that it was all just fictional.

• It ruined your childhood, but hey, you still thought your grandmother was cool

• But when you grew up, she became weaker and eventually passed away.

• You were absolutely devastated. I mean, who wouldn't? You had a cool grandma who always told you witchy stories and who was by your side whenever you had problems in your life.

• Before she passed though, she had given you a carousel music box that you were told has been around for ages.

• You kept it on your bedside drawer so that you wouldn't feel alone.

• Whenever you stressed about exams, deadlines, your best friend Jackson or work, you always turned to the music box for comfort.

• Though, when you thought it made you feel like you weren't alone

• You didn't think it would actually make you feel less lonely

• Because you sWeAr tO gOd you feel a presence around you ever since you brought the music box into your apartment.

• It could just be you being paranoid because it was your first time being away from your family home

• But legit it felt like someone else was in the room

• You wanted to consider putting it back in your old room back at home, but it has stuck with you for too damn long to NOT be by your side. Besides, it was from your witchy grandma, why would you keep it away from you?

• One night, you were incredibly stressed. Finals were coming up in multiple subjects of yours and it was really hard to balance that with your part time job as a barista.

• On top of that, some professors were so helpful in lessening your stress by giving some paper works due! How fun.

• The night was full of your constant groans of frustration and the sound of paper crumpling.

• It was 2:30 am you wanted to drop the fuck out right there and then as you slammed your head down on the multiple papers scattered on your desk.

• The frustration from the past few days that you bottled up was finally bursting, and now here you were, crying on the bond papers that have been on your desk.

• Until you heard it

• Your music box was fucking playing

• Your head snapped over to your desk where you saw the music box playing. The little gold horses were spinning.

• This shit was something straight out of a horror movie.

• The moment your head left the papers, they all went flying off your desk. You didn't even know how to react because all the windows were closed and your fan wasnt open. You're haunted fOR S U R E

• "You know, you should really take it easy on yourself"

• You whipped your head around but nobody was there.

• Nope nope nope nope

• You pushed away all the papers that remained on your desk, shut your laptop, shut your textbooks, and went straight to your bed, covering yourself with the duvet.

• The music box will not stop playing!!

• You inhaled sharply before you were met face to face with a boy with dark hair and eyes to match.

• You wanted to scream, but you didn't know where your voice fucking went

• "You know, it's really bad to pent up your frustration like that. You should relax"

• "P-Pardon???"

• "You heard me"

• Your eyes were wide as dinner plates. This guy was definately not here when you entered the aprtment

• And this guy was definately not a normal human being!!!

• "Ohhh shit I forgot that humans aren't used to this thing... sorry"

• No shit humans arent used to that thing!! It's not everyday your dead grandma's music box plays in the middle of three am and a ghost throws off your damn paperwork!!!

• "You know what, my stress levels are sky rocketting right now! I'm seeing things!! I should really go to bed!!"

• And with that, you turned to face the opposite way from ghost boy and put the duvet up to your nose.

• Before you completely fell asleep, you heard your papers being fixed and the lamp on your desk turning off.

• "Good night (Y/n)"

• The next morning you woke up a little more refreshed than normal.

• It was a friday, which meant that your classes started a little later than usual.

• You brushed your hair and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

• After doing your morning routine and picking out your clothes, you went to the kitchen to make breakfast.

• Except, it was already made for you.

• There in the kitchen, was ghost boy placing the sunny side up egg on the freshly cooked bibimbap

• "Oh, you're awake"

• Proceeds to pour you a cup of coffee in a shameless "stressed, depressed, kpop obsessed" mug

• "Uhhh, y e a h"

• "You should eat up, your finals will be coming up today and you need nutrients to keep your head functioning"

• Places the mug on the bar counter.

• "Well? What are you waiting for? Eat up"

• You reluctantly take a seat on your favorite bar stool and dig into the bibimbap. It was surprisingly reslly good! It tasted exactly...

• "The way your grandma used to make it?"

• "Excuse me???"

• "Oh! Im not a mind reader or anything, it's just that a huge wave of nostalgia just appeared on your face and I just thought that you thought... Yeah, I'm just gonna stop right there"

• You took a sip on the coffee he had made and realised it was exactly how you make it! With a huge amount of creamer and sugar.

• You watched as he leaned on the bar counter and eyed you down.

• "How are you doing that?" You ask

• "Doing what?"

• "You're definately not human, because I know for a fact that I do not have a roommate and you appeared out of no where... Yet here you are, you just cooked breakfast for me AND scared the shit out of me last night"

• "Oohhhh fuck um... Sorry about that. I'm Jaebum by the way"

• You squinted at him as you proceeded to drink your hella good coffee.

• He pulled at the collar of his black hoodie nervously as you eyed him down

• "ANYWAYS! Ghosts that have been around for some time become more powerful, and we learn how to lift objects and do normal mundane shit. Though, not exactly as mundane because we're still technically spirits with no bodies"

• "Interesting..."

• Once you finished your food, he took it from the counter and placed it in the sink while you made your way back to the room.

• You were about to pack your notebooks, but you realised that Jaebum had done it for you.

• Wow, a very helpful ghost!

• "I guess I'll talk to you later???" You say before exiting your apartment.

• "Lmao as if you have a choice on not talking to me"

• Son of a--

• And with that, you leave!

• After another eventful day, you come back home to find Jaebum on the couch eating the honey butter chips that you stored away in your shelf while he watched Strong Woman Do Bong Soon on netflix.

• "Yah, those are my chips!"

• "Woops"

• It was a weekend tomorrow, so you didn't have to worry about any of your shit. Free time for you, yay!

• You dressed up in your favorite t-shirt, a huge hoodie and a pair of shorts and mads your way back to the living room and watched SWDBS with your ghost friend.

• "Soooo Jaebum, why the hell are you here??"

• He pauses the drama before turning to you.

• "Weeellll I may or may not be binded to your music box and I can't go anywhere else"

• "W h y???"

• "Strap in, I'm telling you a longass story"

• So! From what you have found out, Jaebum's mom really liked the music box that she was gifted with during her and her husband's first wedding anniversary. However, that marriage slowly spiralled down into chaos once Jaebum was born.

• When Jaebum grew older, they eventually divorced yet his mother never let go of the love she felt for her husband. Eventually she died, still holding the music box

• Jaebum was surprised that she wasnt the one that haunted the music box

• He swore to himself that he would protect the thing his mother cherished the most and the person who cherished the carousel music box.

• So his mom's best friend's daughter ended up getting the music box after the both of them had died... And that daughter ended up to be one of the ancestors who passed down the music box, until it was handed to you.

• "Soooo you dont have any plans on going, idk, to heaven?? Or hell"

• "yAh I am a good ghostie with good intentions!! Why would I go to hell?!"

• "I dont know!! Just saying!!"

• "I dont know, maybe when you die I'll consider going back to heaven"

• And that is how you got stuck with your ghost friend Jaebum!

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queenmabscherzo · 7 years

Text

DVD commentary - Targeting, Ch. 26

this is the second part of the chapter. i didn’t want to do all the post-game interviews and stuff, i mean, that is what it is. but i really like talking about the boys :’) so for the anon who requested chapter 26, here’s most of it:

Winning is a hell of a drug. And the crash? That's apocalyptic.

It starts during the trip to the hotel, the mundane reality of a bus ride that reminds Steve—it's not Hollywood, here. (obv this is a reference to big sports movies, which would end with the championship or whatever, but also any time i can make an MCU reference and like tap on the 4th wall, that’s fun.)

It all feels so big when you're standing in the middle of the stadium, in the middle of 70,000 fans and 4000-watt LEDs (i looked up “stadium lights” btw, which is one of those dumbass things that you feel like you have to research and then reread it a year later and ur like “oh ok lmao”), but when you drive away, when you watch the horizon and the dark night sky swallow that stadium right up, it doesn't feel as big anymore. It already feels like two lines of text on the NCAA Wikipedia page. (the best moments always go by too fast, don’t they, Steve) (luckily he’s got more best moments yet to come)

And now that his mind is reeling back to the dirt and the desert, all Steve can think about is Bucky's glassy eyes. He wracks his brain, running through their conversation over and over so he won't forget: something about hurting Steve, something about forgetting phone numbers, checking on Sam Wilson, (bucky rly cared a lot about sam, ngl. Protective Bucky Barnes made it a personal goal not to let freshman phenom Sam Wilson get hurt IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER)

I love you.

Steve taps his foot incessantly through the drive to the hotel. (in retrospect i should have made a parallel between this bus and the high school bus hnng) The rest of the bus rocks with three different group chants and a tuneless rendition of "We Will Rock You" that the white boys must have started. (mannnnn i remember sports buses ……. I remember in middle school one of our fav bus songs was “stacy’s mom” …)

Steve texts Bucky a simple You okay?, but doesn't expect a response and doesn't get one.

When they finally reach the hotel, Steve's internal systems are going haywire. The euphoria of victory has nosedived, but he started so high in the atmosphere it's becoming hard to breath—the imbalance of oxygen—all the meters in the cockpit spin out of control—(speaking of mcu references) he just wants to know if Bucky is okay. He just wants Bucky to be okay.

So Steve's pretty much delirious when they enter the hotel, split into groups, and go their separate ways. He drifts onto an elevator with Sam and the Bradleys. When they reach their floor, Steve turns down the hall for his room on autopilot—then stops in his tracks.

There is a man in black leaning against his doorframe. The corridor is empty except for this dark motionless figure with a duffel bag strapped to his back. Steve is suddenly very conscious of his breathing.

(in early drafts of targeting, i sent bucky to the hospital at the end of the game. Not like in a Serious way, just in a precautionary way. he just hurt his head so they might as well get it checked out, right. in the early drafts, i had steve and his teammates visit bucky IN the hospital. i considered Rumlow being there, or pierce being there. I also considered Steve punching Rumlow for being gross. But yeah. Hospital. That lasted in the drafts for a long time, actually. It’s not a bad idea, but it’s logistically hard wrt getting him out of the hospital, and like, has more serious implications than necessary. I’m all about hurt/comfort but i didnt wanna beat bucky up too bad.)(and obviously the hotel room is ……. GREAT)

A voice sounds from behind Steve: "Did Eli lock himself out again?" (AGAIN!!!) (I wanna know that story lmfao)

Steve's friends all laugh. (steve does not laugh. He knows who it is already. nerd.)

"I'm right here!" Eli protests from the back of the group.

"That's not Eli," Steve whispers, pace accelerating—heart accelerating. He breaks away from his teammates and strides down the hall, like tripping, like falling, like pointing the nose of the plane straight toward the earth. Like plummeting forward and just barely catching himself with every step. (one time i had a coach describe “running” as “falling forward and catching yourself” and idk how i feel about that metaphor in practicality but it sure works right here lmao)

The dark figure looks up as Steve approaches, but doesn't move.

Steve wraps his arms around Bucky's waist and kisses him on the lips. (we all KNEW who it was right? It’s one of those surprises u know is gonna happen but you still can’t wait to see it)

Numbness starts to creep up his limbs—probably from the buckets of adrenaline careening through his bloodstream, a fire and flood (thank u @ vance joy) every fifteen minutes since the game started. But God, his heart is so big, right now, so loud and so real. If any heart could take it, it's Steve's.

What kind of kiss.

Steve has never kissed anyone like this. A direct line to all the empty spaces in his chest.

(this is the third time they’ve kissed, now. The first time being when bucky was freaking out in his hotel room a couple weeks ago, and pretended it didnt happen. The second time was in millenium park, aka steve’s christmas present to bucky lol. And of course, a lot happened between that kiss and this one. I’d like to think they both changed, as people, even.)

(have you ever been caught off guard by an incredible kiss when you were the one giving it???? Maybe that’s just me, because i’m so casual and careless at all times. But have you ever gone in for a kiss and Meant it, but still the other person doubles down and gangs up on you somehow? That’s this kiss. That’s this kiss for steve. Steve is like, “there’s nothing left to say, i just have to show him”; and bucky is like … still kind of thinking every kiss with steve could be his last. So he gives it all he’s got. I guess. Idk if i’m describing it v well but. What kind of kiss.)

All of Bucky is so strong: (OH YEAH that’s also rly important, i cannot stress how fucking Strong bucky is and how much i love him for it) (besides the fact that he’s been through so much and survived it all …. He’s still GOOD.) (STOP im gonna cry about bucky barnes for a bit) Steve can feel it under his lips and under his fingertips, the molten resilience warm and dormant under Bucky's skin. Steve presses harder and leans closer. He can't get close enough. His hands press into Bucky's spine, and he still can't get close enough. He opens his mouth and Bucky sighs and draws him in and he still can't get close enough.

One of his teammates whistles. Steve and Bucky don't let it stop them, this time. (oh don’t worry, i did not forget about the other boys, those poor poor babies. Isaiah is probably like :o and Eli is probably grinning and like smacking his brother on the arm until it bruises. Sam is prob the one who whistled.)

Steve's body systems are all rebooting. He can't feel anything that isn't in contact with Bucky—which is fine—that's perfect, he doesn't need anything else—

Then Bucky touches him, and Steve sucks in a sharp breath through his nose. (have you ever kissed someone and just forgot they had hands until they USE THEM??) (anyway) Bucky's hands come to rest on his face, leaving fingerprints on Steve's jaw, like lavender and cirrus clouds. His hands slide behind Steve's neck, and his fingers thread through his hair. He finds the dimple at the base of Steve's skull and whimpers.

Steve has no idea what his own hands are doing. (LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!) (they on bucky’s butt!!!!!!! I’m joking, they’re WHEREVER YOU WANT THEM TO BE.) He can't focus on more than one thing, and right now, that one thing is the feel of Bucky's bottom lip under his own.

He can't get close enough. He presses in for more contact, from knees to navel to sternum. He backs Bucky into the wall, and he can feel the jolt when his fingers are trapped between Bucky's jacket and the wallpaper. (a jolt!!! He prob was a little forceful …………… *eyes emoji*)

Bucky breaks the kiss and hisses and presses both hands to Steve's chest.

Horror washes over Steve. "What's wrong?!"

Bucky grimaces. "Sorry," he pants, eyes fixed on Steve's mouth.

"What—no, don't be—what's wrong?" He steps back, but keeps his hands on Bucky's waist in case he needs—anything. Support? What's wrong?

"Sorry. It's…" Bucky swallows. His eyes flicker. Steve can see the faint green of a lingering bruise near the bridge of his nose. "Dislocated shoulder." (in early drafts, this was a collapsed lung. In retrospect, that’s prob because it might have required the hospitalization. I think the shoulder injury is more … symmetrical, tho.)

Beat.

"You—you have a dislocated shoulder?"

"Wait, you what?" That would be Eli, stepping closer, eyes wide. (athletic trainer eli!)

"Well." Bucky looks down again. "It's relocated now." (thanks buck. Thank you for that elaboration.)

"When did it happen?" Steve asks.

"That—when me and Wilson went up for that deep pass. And landed on top of each other."

(“Bucky and Sam both go up for the ball; it twirls off their fingertips; they tangle in mid-air, and they both go down hard. Steve jogs toward them, heartstrings strumming dominant chords in his bloodstream.

Sam Wilson gets up first, moving stiffly, both hands on his lower back. When Steve offers him a hand, he waves it off even while he winces. Steve glances downfield. Bucky's teammates are helping him to his feet and stuffing his shoulder pad back into his uniform.”)

Steve wracks his brain. "On the last play?"

"No," Bucky says. His eyes dart between Steve and each of his teammates. "Before. We were winning. It was a go route."

It's all kind of a blur in Steve's memory: images of Sam Wilson in deep coverage, Bucky lining up as a safety, zone reads, go routes, post routes, slant routes. He can remember Sam tumbling down on the sidelines, and something occurs to him: "Was it the fight?"

"No," Bucky answers, and Sam speaks at the same time: (<3)

"No," Sam says, staring at Bucky, a nauseated expression curling his lip. (because that play was … A LONG time ago) "No, it was in the third quarter. Right after halftime," he clarifies, and everyone knows he is right.

Steve begins to feel a strange, localized ache in the hinge of his jaw. "You played the whole second half with a dislocated shoulder?"

Bucky shrugs. And then winces. (he’s sO CUTE. and dumb. BUT CUTE.)

"Holy shit," Isaiah breathes.

"I mean, we popped it back in, first," Bucky backtracks.

"Still," Eli hisses, then leaps into action. "No wonder it hurts—Steve Rogers and the kiss of death, over here." (tbh i thought of this joke before i even decided on an injury lmfao.)(i am not funny.)

Steve opens his mouth to protest, but Eli talks over him. "Come on, come inside, I have a couple ice packs in the freezer." (ELI IS SUCH A DAD™!!!!!) Eli fumbles with the key-card and shepherds Bucky into their room. Once they're inside, he relieves him of his duffel bag—working carefully around his left shoulder—and shoves it at Sam without looking, then guides Bucky onto the end of a bed. Once he is settled, Eli turns to rummage through their mini-fridge. "Steve, grab me one of our hand-towels, yeah?" he orders.

Steve does so. When he returns from the bathroom, he stops in his tracks. Bucky is perched on the edge of Steve's bed, a little wide-eyed, but calm. Eli hovers over him, inspecting Bucky's shoulder. Sam sneaks the duffel (i only included this fucking duffel bag so bucky could sneak his Secret Documents into Steve’s room lmfao)(and so Sam could make the “overnight bag” joke tbh.) next to the TV, then catches Steve's eye and shakes his head, clearly trying not to smile.

The entire tableau punches all the air out of Steve's lungs. (same) (obv i really wanted steve’s friends to accept bucky, and i’m nothing if not Dramatic. so. Here we are)

Steve eases onto the corner of the empty bed. Eli doesn't even acknowledge him, his focus trained on Bucky. "They check you out?" he asks as he prods the left side of Bucky's back with well-trained fingers.

Bucky nods. He gazes at Eli the way you might gaze at someone who speaks to you in a different language, but nevertheless does so very earnestly. (i mean it’s safe to say bucky NEVER expected a reaction like this, not only because his own coaches/staff aren’t this nice, but also bc like, these guys are his rivals, lmao) (and he also is prob thinking about what a dick he was to Steve a week ago)

Eli tugs at the collar of Bucky's windbreaker and asks if he can remove it. Bucky lets him help without speaking and without moving his left arm much. Once the jacket is gone, Eli has better access to Bucky's torso.

"Hospital?" Eli asks.

Bucky shakes his head. (LOL)

"Broken ribs, too?"

Bucky nods. (ok ok ok . i worked very hard not to let eli fall into a trope where he just existed to “take care of bucky”. Because i wanted him to rly be the character who cared about sports medicine and … about PEOPLE. So i established it earlier, with steve, with sam, with his major, with his brother, with his kids, everything. And he really knows what he’s DOING. he sat down with bucky for like a single minute, and could tell he had loose tissue and broken ribs around the relocated shoulder. And he’s made something of himself, here, of caring about people. He’s cared about his brother for years, when no one else cared, and now he’s gonna make a living taking care of hurt athletes. I also think it … kind of fits with comics!eli, who was such a sweet bean and just wanted to be a good superhero and live up to his grandpa. I rly rly rly absurdly love eli bradley, guys.) (also contrast him with steve, who wants to take care of people but has no idea what he’s doing; isaiah, who has a good heart but isn’t good at showing it; and sam, a good friend who’s a big goof.)

"Did they scan you?" Eli goes on, and doesn't wait for an answer. "There's loose tissue, I think. Can you lift your arm?"

"Not really," Bucky says, and proceeds to lift his arm (LMAO YOU ASS). He almost makes a ninety-degree angle.

"I mean, I haven't seen the scans or nothing," Eli says, and sounds genuinely sorry for it, "But I think there's some kind of tissue damage. Maybe not torn, but ... Can't believe they didn't take you to the hospital."

"We have doctors," Bucky says dumbly.

Eli dismisses that with a wave. "Did they give you anything?"

Bucky blinks.

Eli beckons for the towel, which Steve hands over. "Any drugs?" Eli clarifies.

Bucky huffs, a small sour sound that could be laughter. "You'll have to be more specific."

Steve, Sam, Isaiah, and Eli all stare at Bucky.

Steve thinks back to the NAC Championship Game. "Pump me with enough drugs, and even I can't tell I'm injured." It could mean so many things. Even at American State, players take shots to stave off the pain long enough for a football game. Sam Wilson comes to mind, and his small doses of painkillers and muscle relaxants to alleviate the back spasms. (if you’re into that kind of thing, meaning semi-unpleasant-medical-commentary, look up “toradol shots” and “football” and some articles are more biased than others but yeah, it’s sketchy either way.)

But Bucky sounds so angry. It's the tone of voice that draws Steve's imagination to dark places.

Eli is the first to recover. He holds up the ice pack, now wrapped in a towel. "I mean anti-inflammatories," Eli explains, "or something to knock you out overnight."

Bucky accepts the ice pack. He turns it over between his hands. He looks thoughtful. He picks at a stray thread on the towel. He doesn't speak.

Sensing the toxic discomfort in the room, Steve is about to step in when Isaiah clears his throat.

"So his arm's not gonna fall off or nothing?"

Eli blinks, then ducks his head. "I mean, he said it hurt," he says sheepishly.

"You ain't have to assault him and force him to strip," Isaiah points out. (isaiah is really a big sweetheart, he just doesn’t express himself well lol.)

"I don't mind," Bucky mumbles.

Sam interrupts, then. "So what do we call you?" (and sam is …… sam.)

Bucky and Steve both stare at him, mouths open.

"You know," Sam explains. "Do you go by … James? Or Barnes? Can I call you Bucky, or is that like a pet name? 'Property of Steve Rogers' or whatever?" Steve blushes. "Or do you prefer the Winter Soldier?"

"Anything but that."

"Bucky Bear?"

Bucky snorts. "Nice ring to it."

"But really," Sam says, smiling now. "I'm gonna hack into Steve's phone and steal your number so I can send you a ton of pictures of me with the trophy. (this is true, and definitely definitely happens.) (except the part where sam hacks into steves phone. He just gets buckys number. Hes not shy, pls.) So. What name do I save you under?"

"... Bucky's fine," he replies with a bemused half-smile.

Steve gazes at him. There is a perfect ache in his chest, like too much color bursting inside and not enough space.

"… out of it. Earth to Steve Rogers." (ISAIAH!!!!)

He snaps back to the present when he hears Isaiah speaking. "I'm—what?"

Sam cackles, which Steve thinks is pretty unfair, since it's his fault Bucky just knocked all the air out of Steve's lungs.

"Maybe we should go," Eli says gently.

"Hell yeah it's time to go," Sam says, rubbing his hands together. "We're going out, right?" He grins at Steve. (sam …… is too young to legally drink. I’m crying. i mean not that it’s hard for young people to get alcohol but he’s literally 19 and asking to go out. He’s so full of life and he’s so RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!)

Everyone in the room stares at him, shifting awkwardly.

"I don't think they're coming," Eli says.

Isaiah takes Sam by the elbow and steers him toward the door. "We can still go out."

"Wait." Sam plants his feet. "Steve, you …" (like sam’s not CLUELESS here, he just saw them make out for crying out loud. He’s just got so much energy and they just won a BIG GAME okay, it just takes him an extra second to process things. Which, i mean, is relatable.) He looks at Steve, then—looks at him—and seems to see something new; then he looks at Bucky, then Steve again, back and forth. "Oh."

"Sam—" Steve tries, but Sam interjects.

"Holy—okay, okay, I mean, he did bring an overnight bag and shit," Sam says, gesturing towards Bucky's duffel.

Bucky's face turns an impressive shade of crimson. "What." (he most certainly did not. Well, staying-overnight wasn’t the primary function of the duffel bag. He was maybe hopeful. maybe.)

"Sam—"

"I think you just took their relationship to the next level," Eli cuts in with a sly look.

Sam, on the other hand, has gone from mortified to elated in the span of about four seconds. "What's in the bag, Soldier?"

Bucky levels him with a scowl to match the nickname. "Toothbrush and a box of condoms." (LIIIIIES. There’s only like 3 condoms. And they’ve been in there for months. but still.)

Beat.

Sam is the first to laugh; Steve joins in, but it's weak because he's reeling with embarrassment. And distantly, definitely turned on.

"Right. We're leaving," Isaiah says pointedly. (poor frikin isaiah puts up with SO MUCH!!!!! His roommates are so ridiculous and horny and he never asked for this except he totally moved in with them and knew full well what he was getting into and is maybe into it, but anyway, anyway.) (housewarming didn’t come out of the blue that’s all i’m saYINg.) (isaiah’s BLUSHING.) Sam Wilson is laughing too hard to protest.

After a small commotion ("There's Advil in my bag!" Eli says, just as Sam calls, "Always use protection!"), and the hotel door latches with a heavy bang. Steve can still hear his teammates in the hallway, but they are muffled and unintelligible, and they fade away fast, leaving Steve alone with Bucky.

Neither of them speaks right away. Bucky is still sitting quietly on the end of Steve's bed, staring, unfocused, into the middle distance. Steve takes the opportunity to look at him. Properly, and all, without sticking his tongue down his throat or bashing his injured shoulder into a wall.

(fun fact: the following transition is a fucking bitch. I don’t think it’s great but i’m an awkward loser, so i was like ok, how do i get them to say i love you and fuck already? Like in a Realistic Fashion. Realistic for dumb jocks.) (rolls eyes forever)

Bucky is in black sweatpants and black Nikes with red soles. The back of his white T-shirt has a list of dates—probably a catalogue of Southeast State National Championships—while the front bears the Southeast logo: a red elk skull with wicked hooked antlers. (check out the “targeting art” tag, a couple people have drawn this and i love them for it) (what else would make a “tundra” logo”...? idk) His face looks better than it did a week ago. Just a little swollen. Steve probably wouldn't even notice if he didn't know to look. There's a string of bruises on Bucky's arm and his knuckles are tore up and there's still dirt clinging to his nails, but all that's just standard football wear-and-tear. He's got a couple days' worth of stubble, and there's a little crescent patch on his jaw where nothing grows; a small white scar from God knows where, God knows when. His lips are parted. Steve wants to kiss him again. But between the corridor and now, this moment with silence and an ice pack wrapped in a crisp white towel, it doesn't seem so easy, anymore.

"You doing okay?" Steve asks.

Bucky's eyes snap back to life and he looks at Steve. (bucky is so spacy lmao awww) (honestly bucky is a lot like me. I think of all the characters in this story, he’s the most like me.) "Yeah." Just yeah.

"You want to use that ice pack, or stick it back in the freezer?"

Bucky looks down at the bundle in his lap, like he forgot it was there. His chest rises and falls.

"Here," Steve says, and stands up slowly so he can slide onto the bed next to Bucky's bad shoulder. He gently takes the ice pack and folds it against his arm, the outside of the ball-and-socket joint, right along the seam of his sleeve. "Good?"

"I dunno," Bucky croaks. "You don't have to—I should probably go." (like seriously, second guessing wild, impulsive decisions? Assuming people don’t care as much as you care? That’s just relatable, man.)

A knot twists in Steve's stomach. He presses into the ice pack a little harder—not too hard—just enough to feel present.

"Why did you come, anyway?" Steve asks.

Bucky's eyes track to his duffel bag, (he came because he wanted to bring steve those documents that incriminate Pierce. He came because he wanted someone to validate him. To validate how bad he felt. To validate the abuse he’s gone through. To tell him he’s not imagining things. He came because he likes steve and he misses him. He came because his sex drive is wild. He came because if he stayed in his hotel room, he would lose his mind.) then back to Steve. "I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut. "I'm sorry I hit you," he mumbles. (and he came to say that, too. he’s been feeling bad about that for a long time.)

Oh.

How ridiculous, Steve thinks. What a small, silly thing, now. He's sitting here with an ice pack to Bucky's mangled shoulder, counting the bruises up Bucky's arms and his face, and that's just the ones Steve can see. He's sitting here in good health and a golden haze of victory, and Bucky is apologizing to him. How absurd. "Oh—Buck, don't worry about that."

"No, look, I'm obviously … messed up and all," Bucky launches into a stammering speech. "I'm sorry I hit you, and yelled at you, and … kissed you. (sorry about the mixed messages, to be specific) I guess. I'm—I just—I want you to know I didn't mean all those shitty things I said. And the game today, I didn't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm fine," Steve assures him. "I promise."

"Right." Bucky cracks his knuckles. He doesn't look convinced. "Anyway. I've been fucking with you for weeks now, (by “fucking with you” he means stringing steve along and then pushing him away. Toying with him. Which is how it looks, from certain points of view. It’s not how steve felt, but it certainly could be read that way.) so it's cool if you don't believe a word I say." (bucky was 100% lying in chapter 23 when he told steve “I was messing with your head” [with regards to kissing steve]. At the time, he was in a really dark, messed up place, and he was really angry with steve, and thought they would both be better off apart. They couldn’t mess each other up anymore if they were apart.)

Steve gapes at him. "Buck … You were mad. You had a right to be mad." (for the record, i PERSONALLY don’t condone bucky punching steve. But steve is more forgiving than i am, and more deeply [and unhealthily] attached to bucky)

The look in Bucky's eyes is so specific. Such a localized pain. From a distance he seems hard, and strong, towering marble, but if you look from the right angle you can see the anguish buried in the rock. The fear and sorrow in David's eyes, despite the calm repose of his limbs. (as in michelangelo’s david. I kind of get michelangelo vibes whenever i watch TWS, the scene with bucky in the bank vault.) (but i knew him.) (from the right angle, David looks very scared. And it’s the same with bucky, i feel.)

"I'm real fucked up, Steve." He sighs quietly. "I should go."

Bucky lowers his shoulder to wriggle out from under the ice pack. Steve lets it fall to the bed—instead, he grabs Bucky's knee.

"Don't go."

"I shouldn't have come. Steve ... I don't want to keep hurting you."

Steve has never been able to deny Bucky anything, but this—he read this wrong, before. (when he just let bucky go after hitting Steve) Bucky begged Steve to leave him alone, and Steve has let him go too many times. He'd thought he'd been doing what was best for Bucky. All this time, Bucky thought he was doing what was best for Steve. (isn’t that kind of the point. Of the story. Of them.)

"You won't hurt me," Steve promises. "You haven't hurt me. None of that was your fault."

"I hit you."

"You think I can't take one lousy punch?"

Bucky snorts; he doesn't smile, not quite, but he looks amused, and Steve counts it as a win. "Wasn't lousy. (BUCKY IS BIG) I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. You were hurting too." He pauses there, feeling sober again, and he braces himself. "Bucky, can I ask you something?"

"What."

"Who gave you the black eye?"

He scoffs. "You were on the field. You saw. Wasn't it Creed's elbow?"

"Bucky," Steve scolds him gently. "I mean last week."

He ducks his head and doesn't answer.

"At my house," Steve prods. "Bucky?"

"It's not a big deal."

"Was it Rumlow?"

Bucky laughs, low and bitter.

"It was, wasn't it?" (steve has probably been thinking this ever since he saw it, considering he also overheard rumlow being an ass in bucky’s hotel room a few weeks ago)

"No. It … wasn't Rumlow."

Steve's not sure he believes him, (did you guys believe him?) but doesn't press the issue. He owes Bucky a little privacy. Just asking is what matters, for now.

Bucky looks up at him through long, long lashes; the same way he has always looked at Steve, (LIKE ON THEIR BUS IN HIGH SCHOOL) a bright blue, the hottest part of a flame.

"Quite a pair, aren't we?" Steve says through a watery smile.

"What's that mean."

(means we’re both selfless shits and we both know it. means no matter how bad we’re hurt, we both still want to take care of other people first.)

"Means I'm here for you, Buck," he says, soft and insistent. "I'm not going anywhere."

Bucky shakes his head. There might be a smile leaking through his granite mask.

Now or never.

"About what you said," Steve says carefully. He squeezes Bucky's knee and rubs small circles into his thigh. "You know, after the game?"

Bucky cringes. "Oh, god. I'm sorry about that too." (NOOOOOO--)

"Don't be sorry," Steve whispers—begs, even. Please don't be sorry. Not for that.

"I shouldn't have said anything," Bucky says. The muscle of his thigh twitches under Steve's grip. "I was caught up in the moment, you know, and it just came out, and it was totally wrong-place-wrong-time, I'm sorry."

"Did you mean it?" Steve breathes, almost inaudible, because he can feel the cracks under the surface.

Bucky covers his face with both hands. "It's—yeah, Steve, yeah I meant it. I just … shouldn't." (FUCK SPORTS AND TOXIC MASCULINITY AND HOMOPHOBIA AND FUCK IT ALL and give bucky a hug 2kforever.)

"Oh, Bucky."

When he looks at Steve again, his eyes are red. "You don't have to say it back."

"Are you kidding me?"

Bucky blinks. "Um."

"Listen to me, Buck." Steve sinks to his knees between Bucky's feet and looks up at him. It's dizzying. It makes his head ache just to think of it: all the years, all the football games, all the doodles passed back and forth in class, all the times Bucky treated Steve's injuries with ice and stupid jokes. He reaches up to take Bucky's face in both hands. "Listen to me," Steve says again. "For as long as I can remember, every single day of my life, you were the most important thing in it. The best thing. Bucky, I was in love with you before I even knew what that meant."

"Steve—"

"And then you were gone. Just gone, and I felt so … much. There was so much, and I didn't know where to put it all." Bucky is crying openly, now, his nose red and his eyes shining. "God, I don't want to feel that way ever again," Steve whispers. "So yeah, I do have to say it back." He smooths the tears from Bucky's cheeks. "I love you," he says. He says it out loud for the first time in his life as he looks into Bucky's eyes, the eyes he has known and for years, for decades, for centuries upon centuries. "I love you, Bucky."

(i practiced that love confession during my Long Commute for months before i ever published it.) (such a balancing act, making it sound like something a person would say, and also make it very very meaningful. And like ….. Adequate for these 2.)

Bucky's lips blossom for him, parting like the gentle pink petals of morning. At first, all that escapes is a sob. He blinks, hard, and tries again:

"You're a punk." (bucky’s response was not a balancing act and did not take nearly as much effort, it’s the most in-character thing i’ve ever written lmfao)

Steve grins. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You are such a punk."

There is water gathering in the creases of Steve's palms. "Is this okay?" he asks, wiping away more tears.

"This is the worst." Bucky sucks in a breath, and then grabs both of Steve's wrists and squeezes. "Yeah it's okay."

"Okay," Steve says. He feels his own throat growing hot. They're both going to end up crying, probably. He gazes at Bucky's lips, the chapped creases and the swollen spot where he always bites down on it. Steve smiles. "I'm kind of afraid to kiss you again."

"Afraid."

"Well, yeah, Buck, it always seems to go wrong. (I MEAN HE’S GOT A POINT!) I try to break your arm, or you end up puking everywhere—" (a stranger whistles at us in millenium park--)

"Shut the fuck up," Bucky demands, and pulls Steve in for a kiss.

It is stiff at first—more overwhelmed than anything—their noses and their lips crushed together because they need it so bad. Because if they didn't kiss right now they would probably both erupt into color and flame and leave a crater behind in the Arizona desert. After a moment of desperate contact, after the reassurance that this is real, this whole night has been real, Steve relaxes. He strokes Bucky's jaw and parts his lips. (i wrote this sex scene between a dress rehearsal and a concert. A pretty major gig actually with a big symphony in a decent-sized city. I don’t LIVE in that city, so i had nothing to do between the rehearsal and the show, so i sat in a philly cheesesteak bar and wrote smut.) (i was also very anxious about the gig at the time.)

Bucky's hands are restless. They flutter like sparrows from Steve's wrists to his face and his elbows and finally, the fabric of his shirt, where they cling tight and pull him closer. He drifts back, stretches onto the mattress and pulls Steve on top of him. Not that it takes much coaxing. Steve goes hungry and willing. He wraps an arm around Bucky's waist and helps him shift farther onto the bed. Steve nudges a knee between Bucky's thighs, and that doesn't take much, either; Bucky's legs spread easily, (*eyes emoji*) and draw Steve in, and how absurd is this, now. It's phenomenal, the goosebumps that break out at the base of his spine and sweep straight to his skull.

Bucky kisses like an ocean. Writhing and fluid and breathless, pulse as natural and magnetic as the tide. He wraps Steve in white foam and surges against him. (this metaphor, for example, gives me vivid deja vu for that restaurant where i wrote it.)

Steve's left arm is trapped between Bucky and the mattress. With his right, he gropes for Bucky's hand and tangles their fingers together. Bucky's heel hooks behind his knee and he smiles, but doesn't break the kiss.

Steve grinds against Bucky's hip bone. That earns him a delicious groan.

Bucky gasps softly as he breaks the kiss. "I should probably be careful, you know," he whispers.

"You—? Oh," Steve says, scrambling up onto his elbows. "Sorry! Are you okay? Does this hurt?"

"No, not really," Bucky says, adjusting his left arm. (a resounding “yes” if i ever heard one) (he’s fine tho, he’s fine. just. you know.)

Steve can't imagine—just—at all. He just can't imagine. He can't picture hurting until it doesn't matter anymore. He wants to fix it so much. He wants to take away all of Bucky's hurt. "Is—? We can take it slow, if you want. I'm sorry. Is this—"

"Steve." Bucky spreads his fingers through Steve's hair and smiles. "I said careful, not abstinent." (if you could not tell after reading targeting, i really wanted to attack the stereotype where bucky is a wilting flower who needs to be coddled by Everyone. including but not limited to their Bedroom Activities)

He leans up to plant a soft kiss on Steve's chin.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"I'm not trying to pressure you though," Steve shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts. (but also, i mean, steve is very very very sweet and i love that about him. It’s not offensive. it’s seriously fucking sweet.) "We can stop if you want."

"Steve Rogers, so help me, if you fucking stop now, you'll—I'll—I will … I'll do something. I can't think. But I'll do something. And you won't like it." (tbh i couldn’t think of something clever to say, and you know what? that seemed like the most accurate depiction of bucky’s state of mind)

Steve couldn't argue if he wanted. "Oh yeah?"

"Fuck."

"You don't want me to stop?"

"I don't want you to stop."

(at this point, i was picturing like, bucky hasn’t actually Had Sex in awhile. Like a year, even. he’s probably made out with someone in the dark corner of a bar or maybe fooled around in a bathroom at a frat party. which, getting a half-assed hand job 2-3 times a year is nice but it’s not exactly intimate. actually, it’s not even nice. anyway. bucky might be .. even more sensitive than usual. Especially since it’s….. steve.)

Steve leans in for a kiss again, a rich slide of lips against teeth. He tugs gently at the hem of Bucky's shirt and drags his fingernails across the ridges of his stomach.

The noise Bucky makes is sunset and surf and sin. Steve kisses that sound. He slides his left hand out from under Bucky's back and into the front of his pants. (STEEEEEEVE!!!!!!! GET IT STEVE!) That's a good reaction, too: Bucky's hips jump, as if jolted by an electric current.

Steve wants to know every single one of Bucky's reactions, wants to learn every perfect way to make Bucky squirm. He fumbles with Bucky's waistband, and that is fingernails against Steve's scalp; he wraps a hand around Bucky's dick, and that is a hiss of air through teeth; he strokes once, up and down, and that is a low whine in Bucky's throat. He tightens his hold, and that is Bucky's hand slipping into Steve's pants, grasping him and caressing him in return, which—damn, you know. (YEAH DAMN!!!)

Steve trails kisses along Bucky's jaw until he finds the soft spot under his ear. Bucky's pulse speeds up, his breath speeds up, and his hand speeds up.

"Oh, God, Bucky," Steve groans.

That's all it takes. Bucky arches his back, spilling over Steve's fist, gasping for air. (bucky came SO fast in this scene lmfao i’m dyin. I still am not sure if it’s like …. TOO fast. Like unrealistically fast. Or … unkind of me. But i just. he hasn’t done this in awhile, he’s with STEVE, steve just confessed his LOVE, all the game day adrenaline--yeah i mean, at the end of the day? same, bucky. same.)

As Bucky spirals back to earth, his grip on Steve's cock tightens and his pace quickens. Steve grinds down into his hand, desperate and fevered, and it doesn't take long for him to come, too. (i mean i guess it’s been a few months for steve too……...lmao ….)

And that—God Almighty—that doesn't feel like a small thing. That feels like a great deal more than two lines of text on a Wikipedia page. (SWEETHEARTS!!!!) (they’re so corny. STEVE is so corny.)

Steve tries to catch his breath, panting hard against the hollow of Bucky's shoulder, leaving a warm, damp patch in the fabric of his shirt. Bucky twitches under him. Static currents and shallow breath. The dappled violets and whites and yellows of the sea at sunset.

Steve is careful not to crush Bucky underneath him. Even in the dense fog of sex and happiness, he is so, so conscious of Bucky's hurts. If anything, Bucky is more delicate, this way; supine and pale and fragile under the tips of Steve's fingers.

Steve traces the lines of Bucky's abs—Jesus—he would count them if he could see straight. He wipes his hand on Bucky's hip bone and asks, "You want to clean up, or anything? You're welcome to use the bathroom."

"You hinting?"

"Am I—? No, it—I just—"

Bucky is grinning, though. (if you know me at all, you know i can’t write a whole sex scene of like, ocean tides and starlight and fragile hearts or whatever. There’s gonna be a joke about a condom or like, the realistically gross follow-up. I AM WHO I AM.) His stomach shakes with laughter, and Steve gapes at him—miles of smooth skin, threads of cum shining on his stomach. It's terrific and terrifying and it's obscene. (terrific AND terrifying!!! Steve, sweetheart!!!) Steve can't even think in words.

Bucky pokes him, hard, right near the collarbone. "You want me to clean up?"

"… I don't ever want you to leave this bed again," Steve breathes. (STEVE, on the other hand, is a much bigger sap than me.)

Bucky just laughs some more.

"What are you giggling at?"

"I ain't giggling." (oh texas boy)

"Oh yeah?"

"I don't giggle."

"What do you call it?" Steve says, running a fingertip from Bucky's sternum to his bellybutton, a slow, subtle trail.

Bucky covers his eyes so all Steve can see is his smile and the way his throat bobs when he swallows.

He can't get enough. He drinks Bucky in like a drug, every detail, every little meaningless deed. The way one side of his smile is higher than the other; the fine hair on his arms; the mess on his stomach, drying and tacky and glistening in the lines that define his abs; the way his knee sways back and forth; the T-shirt bunched up under his armpits.

"I don't giggle," Bucky repeats. Then he uncovers one eye to look at Steve. The tip of his tongue peeks between his teeth. Steve wants to kiss it. He wants to kiss it all.

"Okay," he whispers. "You don't giggle." He kisses Bucky's elbow, which is the nearest thing within reach.

It must tickle, because a noise escapes Bucky's lips. A noise that is absolutely a giggle. (i don’t think he’s laughing because he’s ticklish, at least not 100%. ;) ) "Shut up," he says before Steve can even open his mouth.

"Not a word."

#dvd commentary #targeting stuff #anon #my fic #pay no attention to the writer behind the curtain

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carstairsdaily · 7 years

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Lord of Shadows Review & Analysis! SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

On another note about spoilers, I get that seeking out spoilers as well as snippets, are a product of waiting so long for the next book… but I don’t know that I will treat them the same way going into QOAAD because I almost felt, while reading, that I had read 35% of the book already! I can’t promise that I won’t seek out spoilers or snippets, but I do hope that less are released over the next two years (I know that sounds ridiculous, but I would prefer a surprise!) With Regards to Individual Characters: • Emma: a feminist badass, growing into being the best shadowhunter of her time but not there yet. Her sarcasm and skill has improved since LM, and I literally laughed out loud during her POV’s and while reading her quotes. The scene with her and Diego and the fire ants= pure gold. Her scene with Manuel and calling out the cohort for being fascists= pure gold. • Julian: a sweetheart and I want to cry thinking about how much he has been through. I know “Dark Julian” has been referenced several times throughout the fandom but I really didn’t see too much of a change until- actually- the steamy scene with Emma where he demands that she calls him only Julian. Very sexy, very dark too. • Cristina: deserves better and I am dying for more of her POV’s. I am always amazed by her class and maturity. • Diego: not perfect. I am mad at him. • Kit: surprisingly likeable. I am so glad they included POV’s with him and Jace!! • Livia: underrated as hell, so sweet, so caring, so selfless, her charm and sarcasm= gold. • Ty: I AM SO GLAD WE ARE FINALLY STARTING TO SEE T Y B L A C K T H O R N AND HIS TRUE SELF-A M E N. • Dru- her crush on Jaime is fitting for a first crush and I’m glad he gave her the confidence to speak up. I want to hug her literally all the time. • Tavvy- irrelevant but cute. SHIPS: • I surprisingly loved Mark and Emma’s dynamic. Their relationship reminded me of a mundane high school sweetheart kind of relationship, because you can tell they absolutely care about each other, I just don’t see them as anything more than a bromance. I will however agree with the sentiment, "maybe in another life" because maybe, in another series, in another world, they would have been perfect for each other. • Kieran/Mark/Cristina: I find it significant that no choices were made in terms of canon relationships, which I interpret as a canon friendship because if any of them were going to be romantically involved, a decision would be made by now. I enjoy the friendship they have, I surprisingly forgave Kieran, but I do not expect any of the Blackthorns or Emma to forgive him also. His actions in QOAAD will definitely define how I feel about him going forward. • JEMMA: You all know I am 100% a Jemma shipper, but this time around I was glad that their relationship did not overshadow the rest of the book. I liked how private their relationship was, which is a funny word to use because people become more privy to it in LOS and because it was extremely private in LM, but the fact that they were literally in a different part of their country on their own made me all happy. • I am also glad that I got the B&N copy with the extra scene, which I waited to read because it is right after the ending of the book and I did not want to read anything after finishing LOS, lol. • Kitty: No canon romantic relationship yet, still very cute scenes… Ill talk about this in theories. • Kit/Livia: I am glad that Livvy’s first kiss was Kit, and not some random boy who won’t treasure the memory or look back and think “oh she was sweet, it’s a shame what happened to her”. Kit will always treasure the fact that he was Livia’s first kiss, and will cherish the friendship he had with her. It was platonic, but still special. I know people on tumblr were upset with this but I hope by the end of the book they understood. PROFOUND THINGS IN LOS • Lets talk about the fact that Emma Carstairs literally doesn’t cry….. but she cried over Julian literally 400 times in Lord of Shadows. If that doesn’t show you how much she literally loves that boy idk what will. • CLARY SHIPS JEMMA. During their conversation Clary literally says “who I pictured you with [not Mark or Cameron] doesn’t make sense….” This goes back to my question to CC about whether or not Simon knows about Jules and Emma, since he noticed something off during the parabatai ceremony. She responded “he knows something, he just doesn’t know what he knows”. I think the same applies to Clary, maybe she has even had premonitions about it, and that is so so significant. #jemmaisendgame • Kit and Livia and Ty’s friendship: so sweet and pure and is literally the reason why Kit decides to stay. How will Ty and Kit function without their third musketeer? • DRU & JAIME: Thank you Jaime for giving Dru the confidence to confront her family over her role as a Shadowhunter… but the witchlight you left behind that literally portals to another dimension: WTF? WHO IS ASH????? That scene is messed up because it is so short and therefore, subconsciously everyone looks over it because of how chaotic everything else is. I can’t help but feel like this is going to play a MASSIVE role in QOAAD. • Diana & Gwyn: Thank you CC for trans representation and a beautiful story. The fact that Gwyn accepts her wholeheartedly made my chest ache, and I hope that no one will use it against her please please please. • Jules & Emma’s Decision to tell the Inquisitor: Not sure why they did this tbh, but now that Robert is dead, what are their options??? Did he mark it down somewhere? Will they become so irrational that they consider the Seelie Queen’s offer? Livia’s Death • Months ago I received an anon message from someone about Livvy, which literally said that they felt something was going to happen to her and I completely dismissed it…. Thinking we haven’t seen enough of her storyline yet and it was too soon. I AM SO SORRY, and it’s literally all I have been thinking about for days. • Livia was so so selfless, down to her core, the last moments of her life were spent trying to save the people she loves. • I discussed with a mutual that the fact that Annabel did it was both cruel and also extremely fitting. • When you think about it, Livvy was the 21st century version of Annabel. From their appearance, which was remarkably similar, to the way that they treated outsiders taking refuge in their family (Livvy with Kit, Annabel with Malcolm) down to their deaths, both innocents killed trying to protect the ones they love. • The fact that the Mortal Sword shattered to me symbolized the end of the truth and trust within the Clave. • The amount of guilt that each character will carry following these deaths is heartbreaking… • i sincerely hope her death is not tossed to the side, discussed for 150 pages then only mentioned 4-5 times after that because she deserved better, the entire Blackthorn family did, and peace was completely ripped away from them Which brings me to my first theory: I believe there was a reason that Jessamine was introduced to TDA, not only to highlight Kit’s Herondale-ness, but also as a foreshadowing of another character who is not at peace, feels that there is unfinished business, and a group of people needing to be protected: Livia. Because it was made clear in the book that necromancy and raising the dead is forbidden, and because QOAAD takes place a week later, Livvy’s chances of being raised are very very very slim. I sincerely believe that she will come back, but not to life. It would be fitting of her to come back as a ghost (not at first but definitely later in the story) and for her to protect her family, and give Kit and Ty the OK to do whatever they want to do (whether its be a couple or become parabatai, or go to the Scholomance) More theories: • Though I predict a dark Julian, I do not predict a dark/irredeemable Julian, who digs himself into such a big hole that he can’t climb out of it. Remember he has two anchors: his family, and Emma… • The Rosales brothers, especially with their plans to overthrow the Cohort and fool Zara are going to play a massive role in QOAAD. • I think that Jemma are going to have to confide in Jem and Tessa, and they will end up helping Jules and Emma with the parabatai curse. I am also sure they will play a big role in the next book. • Unpopular Opinion: I do not think Clary will die. I know she thinks she will, but CC did say QOAAD is lighter (in regards to themes) than LOS, and I just do not think it would be a lighter book if Clary, a significant character, dies. I think she will become close to death, and people will become concerned, then she will tell Jace of her fears and say yes to his proposal. However, I could very well be wrong!! •i do predict the Cohort being in power for a short amount of time….. because they represent members of our society, I do not think they will be shut down so easily because that’s not realistic. Despite this, hope and love always win. I trust that this will remain true in the next book. • I do predict the end of the Cold Peace, it was never ever a good idea and no one likes it. • I predict that Drusilla will be a hero, now that her older sister has passed away and she has finally decided to step up as a Shadowhunter, I do not doubt that the role she plays will be significant, it just seems to be a reasonable underdog story. • Kitty: parabatai or lovers? An important decision, because Kit does reference his thoughts about being parabatai with Ty, and Ty finally says yes to being parabatai with Livvy. I think it’s a possible “that’s what Livvy would have wanted” trope, but I could also be wrong and think its about as equal of a chance of them becoming lovers. • Who will the new head of the LA Institute be? I sincerely doubt it will go to someone the Blackthorns do not know or trust. They have had so much taken from them, the Institute does not deserve to go next. Possibly Cristina? Will Jules or Emma be of age? Jem or Tessa following the end of the Cold Peace? We have to see! • ASH… I am just frustrated that we do not know more about him… I don’t even have a theory I just needed an excuse to talk about him again. Questions and Theories from my mutuals!!!!! • Anonymous: Its 3 am and I am literally just crying on my bed because of the book. >> Relatable!! I cried hours after I finished because I was so sad. The ending really got me! • Anonymous: Do you think Jaime and Dru are endgame? She is 13 and hes like 17 but he thinks she’s 16. Idk, they seem to have a nice friendship but not a romantic relationship in my opinion.. >> Agreed! I honestly think CC included this first crush idea as a way of introducing Dru’s further character development, not necessarily to introduce them as a couple… But also think about Cecily and Gabriel!!! They were about the same ages at the time, even though that was a different time period… anything is possible, but I do not ship them romantically! • VirginaNewman: I loved LOS, however I was indeed disappointed that Helen + Aline make a debut in the LAST chapter! >> I definitely thought Helen and Aline would play a larger role in LOS, they were barely mentioned, barely had any scenes… I was disappointed by their small role too, but I am interested to see how hard they fight to stay in the next book. Ps- the scene where Aline basically tells Zara to shut her fucking mouth is GOLD. • Betweenshadesoftessagray- Since Robert’s dead, its going to be a race to get that spot, with probably Zara’s father trying to become Inquisior. And since Robert was the one who could help Emma and Julian with the exile thing, they really don’t know what to do with it. I think the powers will continue to grow, and since I think the main battle of QOAAd is going to be a battle where the warlocks and nephilim cannot use their runes/warlock magic, maybe their parabatai magic will still work and that’s how they win. I have already stated that I think there is going to be a battle in QOAAD without being able to use rune magic and the warlocks not being able to use their magic, but this didn’t fit in my other ask I just realized something that made my theory more solid: in the beginning, Zara says she went to Hungary because they were claiming their weapons were not working and she said it was incompetence, so the blight is already spreading not only in Idris but everywhere else. >> This is such a well thought out theory and I wish I could give a formal response but I definitely need to go back, reread, and analyze this… I didn’t even realize the significance of Shadowhunters and warlocks including Magnus losing their powers!! Wow! Is this because of the Black Volume? I definitely think Emma and Julian’s parabatai/love powers will play a huge role in QOAAD and maybe even save the day during this second Dark War. Maybe that’s how they will become heros, their bond will be broken as a reward or something and everyone can live happier ever after? AHH! • Share your theories and thoughts in the comments below or inbox me (not on Anon so I can respond privately!!!)

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