#idk i was looking at jobs for environmental microbiologists and they're all like water and food related

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#i am posting this as motivation: tomorrow i will be more focused #i will figure out how to run my stupid fucking nested correlation heatmaps #i will watch videos related to my research as i work in R #and ya know what. fuck it. i will email a couple ppl at different nasa facilites in seach of an internship #maybe ill even look at emailing some national laboratory ppl #idk i was looking at jobs for environmental microbiologists and they're all like water and food related #but id prob qualify for them #i just dont really wanna do that so im prob better off to look at a lab tech job #idk i just feel like i really cant go streight into phd but ill prob send out a letter of intent anyway :-P #ugh im just feeling like a failure of a human being this week. idk what's wrong #im out of focus and hungry and unhappy and tired #so i scheduled some stuff so that i have to be productive in the lab thurs and fri #so we'll see what happens #oh god and i just remembered i need to check on my car which i have been putting off for way too long #in a way thats like it actively stresses me out that i havent done it but i sit on the floor and cry abt it and then get up and dont do it #so thats fun #why cant things just be easy? #unrelated