#idk i’m just feeling good lately

[dumb-doll-lips]

Maybe controversial, but on posts about being dumb where girls are like saying ‘but I’m actually smart.’ Like tbh, I don’t really believe them. Like if you’re smart why does feeling dumb feel so good or hot or whatever to you then? I kinda feel like it’s having an excuse to let go of trying as much as you would be when you’re saying your smart. If you’re like really actually smart, I don’t feel like a break from ‘being smart’ would be such a relief or like as appealing.

#if you’re on my blog much may have noticed I’m just having a lot of feelings about this more lately #like it’s okay to not be smart #you can be happier #and like I feel like I sometimes get people who try to call me smart #like there’s diff skill sets #I think I’m still pretty good at soft skills and like makeup stuff #but like I regularly can’t get left and right right or name all the months and so on for lots of things #idk. I feel like dumb doesn’t mean you’re horrible at everything #like you still have value and can make a positive impact but just in different ways #I’m a soo much happier when at work I’m more focused on being someone others really like to work w than like being efficient at my job #and honestly seems like people prefer that #I have too many thoughts about at this lately #really hoping throughing them into the intenrwbt even if it’s more in tags gets out of my head more #personal #also very much not at a 100 notes but for a text post from me it’s impressive so… #100+ #little thoughts

[qbebou]

what makes me sad abt philever is that they COULD have had a good shot. i know it’s silly and funny and everyone says forevers love was unrequited completely but like…. hasn’t phil said several times that maybe things would have been different if forever didn’t just like him bc he looks like brunim? i know phil peaces out whenever lore is happening so i don’t think he would ever actually fully commit to the bit but i do feel like there’s an inkling of sadness whenever phil says there could have been something between them or that forever only wants him for his looks

#IDK i’m delusional i know i am #but phil is very good at doing subtle things for lore and i feel like the way he said that was intentional #he just drops in a hint 🤏 of angst i don’t think he can help it he loves making ppl sad #it’s late and i’m thinking abt them again sorry world 🫰😔 #qsmp #philza #ph1lz4 #forever #forever player #philever #lex.txt

[breadhalfburnt]

for eel

#talking to the stars #my art #cj heart #chonny jash #<- jash tag for funsieeesss #but yeah…… gues who’s arting……. good afternight everone #but i’m just throwing this out here because idk if it’ll work with what i’m doing and i am far too attached to this now #late night feels fr

[melobin]

i do believe you all followed me because of writing sorry you have to deal with the deeply mentally ill girl that comes with it.. slight rant in tags ? i guess ? ily all anyhow

#this year has been so horrible LMAO #every other week something new is popping up #like i thought it couldn’t get worse and then it does #idk how i’m coping (im not)!! #but i really wanna be here and be able to post and write and give you all the good content you followed for but i do genuinely feel like #i’ve been lacking a lot lately and i’m sorry for that #i’m talking to my doctor about upping my meds and going back to therapy #and just trying to do things to make me feel better rather than offing myself #melo will be okay i’m sure of it but im trying my hardest i promise #✧ melody posts

[heybaetae]

hi

#hi #i am just popping on here for a second bc i’m not in the mood to be back yet but my queue is getting quite full #so i think i might have to unpause it soon #maybe tomorrow idk yet #just a heads up in case i seem active again i’m not really i just had a lot of stuff piling up 😭 #it will be a Huge shuffled mess so patience is appreciated!! #i apologize if you’re waiting on me but thank you for waiting regardless #please keep using my tracked tag for your creations #i will be back for real eventually #my mental health is quite terrible lately i still need time #it’s about to be a year since the last time i saw my sister before she passed so like. my grief is going through a crazy stage #i’m still not getting a ton of sleep #my brain is just Bad things all day #it’s all just really sucky but i’m trying to do my best 🙃 #i hope you are all well i miss you #i will respond to messages at some point too #there are very few which..well it puts things into perspective and validates certain feelings ig lol #it’s all good that’s something i’m working on internally #hopefully i get there #bye again for now 💕

[spittyfishy]

Lol idk I just thought maybe this would be fun! A way to make the au a bit more interactive I guess? It’s sort of an experiment to see if people would actually be interested in this format and if I can keep up with it if they are! So yeah lol, hopefully y’all also thinks this’ll be neat!

#asks about any remnants would be fine #I just put the v3 ones in the art bc I feel like they’re the most popular au I’ve got #Junko always fun to draw #she’s mean though it’s not my fault! #v3 remnant au #remnants of despair #danganronpa #ndrv3 #sdr2 #junko enoshima #remnant ask game #that seems like a good tag for something like this lol #I’m nervous about posting this #I feel like it’s weird or dumb #but I feel bad for not having done much with the au lately so maybe this’ll fix it? #idk I’m rambling now I’ll stop

[tariah23]

Genuinely curious: how bad did jujutsu kaisen get (i dropped off prettyyyy early but i thought it had potential! And i heard great things about it! But now it's like...hmmm not so good 🗿)

I wouldn’t say it’s completely BOOTY (It’s still pretty decent actually even though I do complain a lot about my grievances that I have with it!) After the Shibuya incident (the arc is fucking amazing btw. Idk how far you’d gotten but the Hidden Inventory was also sick as well!!! Two of the best arcs back to back! Gege was absolutely feeling himself when he wrote these 😭) the writing had definitely begun to noticeably take a nosedive.

I remember Gege often getting sick, resulting in him having to take multiple hiatus after finishing up with Shibuya and it had even gotten to the point where he’d put out rushed chapters (he never used to do this so whenever he’d do so, it was pretty noticeable because his writing had always been pretty entertaining and fairly good (imo) up to this point…) and even incomplete chapters…. (When I first read that very specific, incomplete chapter, I legit thought that it had been drawn that way on purpose??? Like maybe it was drawn in a sketchy way for stylistic purposes! It was pretty cool to me at the time until I’d learned that he just couldn’t finish drawing the chapter and had to put it out as is… then this is where the hiatus had began. Because he’d take a break (great! His health is more important than anything after all) and then come back with half assed chapters from time to time? (I believe all of the breaks definitely effected the momentum that he’d built up for himself tbh. But I’m glad that he put himself first regardless.)

Enemy curse users during both the Colony and the Culling Game arcs felt more like “villains of the week,” over than anything else and were just there to be defeated by the MC’s and to extract little pieces of information at a time. Most of them didn’t even stand out all too much outside of a few. Incidents that took place throughout these two arcs felt completely pointless and added nothing to the story whatsoever. Then there’d be long stretches of time in between the story where important characters like for instance: Megumi and Yuuji, would be absent from the story for unnecessarily long periods of time for no reason at all because Gege’s pacing had begun to take a toll on the writing side of things???

There would be instances where important and genuinely EXCITING things would happen only for the story to go back to feeling like a bunch of nonsense again and then this would become a sort of rinse and repeat type of thing. Don’t even get me started on the Gojo VS Sukuna fight…… both my fucking head and heart still hurts over what happened if I’m being honest because HOLY SHIT, Gege fucking sucks 😭!!! How do you do THIS to such an important character in the series bro. It still doesn’t even feel right like. What was even the fucking POINT of this 3 month long ass fight 😭😭😭!???!? Quite a few other slightly major deaths were poorly executed as well… there’s just…. SO MANY INCONSISTENCIES and plot points that felt as if they were going to MATTER in the end; become important later on, only for them to end up not mattering at all…

The plot is still unfolding but UHHH… Also, depending on how far you’d gotten into reading or watching it, things do become extremely depressing after a certain point in the story like, the characters have not had a good time ever since the students played baseball with each other in that one episode/ manga chapter before ALL of the bullshit started 😭. Everyone is a wreck! Everything is a mess! What is the point!!! JJK is definitely misery porn. It excels in it.

#I’d still rec reading and watching it tho because it really is a fun series #it’s just #I feel like gege is really trying to rush to the ending of jjk rn or some shit because he’s just been writing any damn thing now 😭… #and he is getting his rocks off I just know it!!! #when jjk is good it’s GOOD!!! #the writing has just been pretty all over the place as of lately though #the pacing goes from stagnant to fast then back to stagnant then fast then normal a lot though #but again #these are problems mainly associated with literally everything after the shibuya arc #if you gave it another go you’d see what I mean but it’s not the worst #I feel like gege needs to pace himself better idk if his editors have been getting on his ass or what because I swear to god jjk was not #written so carelessly before #I’m so serious #tkf replies #b1uetrees

[why-the-heck-not]

hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week

#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines #and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done #and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it #also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one #like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it #so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week #only made myself more confused #i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go #with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn #and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like #’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s #just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’ #the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol #yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing #ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit #(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn) #april 2023 #2023

[shywhumpauthor]

Hey guys, so I just wanted to say that I’m probably not going to be putting out much writing for a bit. Like right now, I’m not actively working on writing anything. I feel kinda shitty about not writing though :/

I will probably (most likely, don’t want to say “definitely” though cause I know myself) put out some more short prompts/maybe some snippets in the next while but probably not any long pieces. Maybe. I don’t know maybe inspiration will strike tomorrow and this will all be a lie. But as of now, yeah.

​please stick with me here though I promise I’ll get back to writing soon.

I was also thinking about doing whumptober again, not sure if I will do it for a new series with characters or miscellaneous fills. Let me know?

#i feel crappy about not writing but also like #I started reading this book #and I read the first one in two and a half days #and I just got the second one Monday and I’m almost halfway through it #I’m really happy because it’s been a while since I’ve read a book and been excited like this #I stayed up late reading last night and it was just #such a good feeling #I haven’t done that since middle school #it’s been so long since I’ve found a book I could really get into #but also band camp starts next week #that’s two weeks long so idk what my writing will be like then #then school starts up again #my classes are a lot harder this year which I’m excited but also nervous for #and I have a job now so balancing everything’s going to take some getting used to

[dreamwinged]

ignore that i remade a month ago but remaking sounds sooooo good rn

#ok my reasoning is. #i feel so strange and bad about the way i exist in the community lately #NOBODYS FAULT everyone is so niceys and welcoming its just me tripping over the small stuff and guilting myself #but Still. not good i think i’ve vented abt it in depth a lot so i’ll spare y’all the details #i just think a fresh start might be better if i wanna change thins #does that even make sense. idk i just feel bad #WHY CAN’T I BE NORMAL #and i’m wondering if it’s even that deep like i should prolly just let shit go and stop hating on myself all the time #but. You know. siiiiiiiiiiiigh #.unrelated ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ #.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖

[pollenallergie]

do people with adhd have special interests? do we do that? cause i’ve been in my free willy shark week marine biology era for a solid decade now and like shit has not changed.

#ik i say i have audhd. and my therapist and i definitely think i do. #but my psychiatrist won’t diagnose me bc i am a woman and apparently this is still the 90s ig #so idk lately i’ve been having an identity crisis and being like… do i even have it??? if i can’t get a diagnosis?? #like yeah this specific psychiatrist won’t diagnose me but i’ve been to other psychiatrists in the past?? #so like if i had it wouldn’t they have caught it?? #and like yeah my cousin has it but who knows he could’ve gotten that from his dad’s side of the family not his mom’s (my aunts) #idk big crisis over here #it’s also been like months since i last saw my therapist which is just not good… #but yeah idk if i have autism? and now i feel like shit for essentially diagnosing myself as being audhd based on like nothing #so now i’m just trying to see if all this shit that i thought was maybe autism is actually just my adhd or ocd #or just like a fun non-disordered quirk #also i am very embarrassed about the way i talked about autism on here when i thought i had it now that i’m not sure #like it feels very rude and offensive in retrospect #so i’m very very genuinely sorry for that #that just was not okay for me to do #i promise to be better going forward and i’m very sorry #pol’s diary <3

[curiosity-killed]

It is! Possible! That I may be being too hard on myself! Again!!!

#me for most of this fall: I’m not doing enough well enough I’m falling short in everything I am Miserable #the universe lately: you’re such a natural turner / you are so creative / you are doing so much / #you are curious and humble and kind / you have beautiful lines / your writing is lovely #our company did this values in action award and my sister and I were talking abt it last week and how only 5 employees WERENT nominated #and i was like Clearlt I Was Not Nominated #and then today actually read the nominations and I got?? really sweet ones???? #and just had a convo with a colleague abt how I’ve been worried abt underperforming/not doing well enough #and she looked at me like I had literally sprouted a tortoise out of my head and was like #‘’i. think you might have. Very High Standards for yourself. (?????????)’’ #the new director I’ve been working with is so casual abt praise saying how I have beautiful lines and such a strong turn #and just need to relax and breathe #there have been a couple ppl recently reading thru like my entire AO3 and leaving the nicest comments??? #my students are chaotic but at rehearsal they all want to come sit with me and ask me questions and I just #idk I know I have a tendency toward isolation and self-deprecation #but also like. when ur in it (the depressions (?)) it feels so absolute #and i know I have to go thru to get to a place where I can receive the good (emotionally) #and I know I’m a little extra sensitivo bc I‘ve been missing my brother #and specifically how he always always was the person who listened when I needed support #but yeah i. maybe rlly needed this #‘’over and over announcing your place in the family of things’’ #<- current feels #personal #Bc it’s less about positive feedback and more abt feeling like belonging

[deancaskiss]

officially one more week of rotations before I am officially done with my clinical year of vet school (4 more shifts from next Monday-Thursday). 27 days until graduation. approximately 2 weeks until NAVLE scores are released and I find out if I passed and got my license or failed and have to retake the exam again in November.

so many ups and downs have happened over the last few weeks. so many high highs and low lows. some of the best days of my life and some of the most stressful moments. everything has just been so surreal and overwhelming

#sapphire rambles #life has been. insane lately #idk how to describe everything I’m experiencing and feeling #it’s been a wild ride #vet school is finally almost over #in exactly one week I will have finished my last shift as a veterinary extern student doctor #and in a couple weeks I’ll find out if I can start working as a vet this summer…. or if I’m not good enough and have to retake the exam #so much is riding on the next few weeks #both good and bad #sorry I haven’t posted much content recently #it’s just been so hectic

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i feel like my mental/behavioral health has gotten to the point where i don’t just need therapy, i need treatment. ykwim

#i feel like ​i need to monitored and controlled and literally forced to do things for a solid month in order to make ANY progress lmao #*i feel like i need to be #i need CONSEQUENCES but i am SO good at evading consequences #i need to email my professor about my final project because well #i don’t think i can reasonably turn it in on the current due date #but i have known that for a while and i’ve just been hoping that a miracle will happen or something #now i feel like it’s way too late to ask for an extension #and my excuse is like ‘idk i thought maybe a miracle would happen so i didn’t bring it up’ #i just didn’t ask for an extension bc even though i knew i would run out of time #a reasonable person would have been able to manage their time better #so instead of being like sorry i was working hard the whole time but i just couldn’t catch up! #i have to be like… oh no i saw the train coming a mile away and i’m tied to the tracks #and now the train is about to hit me. i just hoped i would have untied myself by now #even though i don’t know how to untie the knot and did nothing to learn #so pleeeease professor can i just be tied to the train tracks a little further down

[rosicheeks]

hi Princess

i hope you are doing well

please tell us a little about your new job with the doggies!

#here are a few pictures from today 🥰🫶 #I have SO many pictures now it’s crazy #I should probably go through them cause I’m sure a lot of them are blurry but some are gems I must say #my favorite parts are probably when my yard is quiet and calm for a little bit (usually at night) and I sit down #and usually a bunch of them come rushing over to sit next to me #I can’t tell you how much I love it when a puppy lays on me or sits on my lap #it’s the best 🥰 #there are definitely a few challenges to the job but I’m sure I’ll be able to deal #the hard part is it doesn’t give me enough hours and I don’t think it’ll be enough $$ either #so I’m gonna have to find another job which really really sucks #I’m already so exhausted with this one idk how I’m gonna juggle another one on top of it #but I need to figure out a way to get my own car and move out of my parents place #I love my parents so much but why can’t they just let me be me? #my friend literally said it sounds like they’re putting me on a leash and that’s EXACTLY what it feels like #not gonna get into it but it’s been rough lately #life hasn’t been the best so I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet lately #haven’t replied to anyone in awhile #but thankfully work has been good and I’ve been able to meet some amazing angels 🫶🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️ #I just wish it paid better #also gotta figure out a way to wear my headset so it doesn’t trigger my migraines cause that’s been a struggle #really really REALLY hope one day I’m able to get my own puppy but at least for now I get to take care of other dogs 🥰🥰🥰🥰 #ask #thanks for asking 🫶

[akkivee]

nobody asked but these are probably my favourite live looks hayama-san gave us lol

#vee queued to fill the void #FOLLOWED VERY VERY V E R Y CLOSELY BY HIS 7TH LIVE DAY ONE LOOK (MAX CUTE AND I WISH HIS SUKAJAN SHIRT WAS ON SALE TO THIS DAY) #AND HIS 8TH LIVE DAY 2 LOOK (BIASED BUT ALSO HE LOOKS GOOD IN GOLD AND HE WAS IN A SKIRT THAT HAD THIS RLY CUTE BELT BUCKLE ON HIS HIP) #are they in order?????? idk lol but maybe #my hayama brainrot has been on 💯 lately as we get closer to the next hangout stream and his return to it lol #it’s!!!!!!!!!!!!! been too long since i’ve seen his face in content i haven’t been looping for ages lmao #(what????? i got three new videos with him in it in the past two weeks and a very entertaining radio ft sakakihara-san???? idkwym lol 😌😌😌) #abema removed their bonus 6th live content effectively making it lost media i think and i’ve really depressed about it #it was so charming to listen to hayama-san’s voice just perpetually stuck on his kuukou baritone #since that was the first time he’d performed as kuukou for as long as he did and as intensely too (bat’s first kaigen 🥹🥹🥹) #like even takeuchi-san’s voice was going out towards the end of their interviews that’s how hard they went on that live #and sakakihara-san’s post live excitement for kaigen the way he happy clapped getting to talk about kaigen ABEMA I RLY DO HATE THIS #so i’m trying to make myself feel better by tag rambling about them lol #anyway that haircut for the 6th live was so inspired i miss his long hair era everyday and 💜💜💜 to the first time he wowed the entire world #(if you feel there’s some type of energy going into the 5th live shot i posted instead a more uniform shot with the others eh heh⭐️)