#idk i’m just having a lot of thoughts about them

[verstappen-cult]

hiii idk if youre doing reqs rn but how about lestappen x reader where shes unused to being taken care of, having to succumb to the fact she needs help after an injury (nothing too graphic like maybe a sprained ankle or a broken wrist) and max and charles trying their best to make her understand that they *want* to help and that she has to let them and her yk kinda warming up to the idea idkkk😭 feel free to ignore it i js thought it was sweet✋️😔

You turn on the kitchen lights and Charles and Max are immediately pausing the game and turning around, surprised to see you supporting all your weight in your left leg, while keeping your balance by leaning against the wall.

Max is up in a blink of an eye. “What are you doing, sweetheart?” He helps you walk to one of the stools by the kitchen counter.

“I wanted something to eat.” You say, sitting down and trying not to show how relieved you are. Your ankle is still hurting but you don’t want to worry them.

“You could’ve just told us.” Charles joins you and Max in the kitchen. “What do you want?” He asks you while walking towards the fridge.

You wince, looking down at your hands. “I can prepare something. You’re busy.”

“We were just playing FIFA.” Max leans down to leave a kiss on your cheek. “We weren’t exactly busy.”

“Still,” You argue back, this time looking at your blonde haired boyfriend. “I can do it myself.”

“You’re supposed to be resting, or you’re not gonna get better.”

Charles is right.

And just because of that you accept his offer to make something to eat.

“I’d like some pasta, if it’s not too much trouble.”

Charles frowns as he takes all the ingredientes out of the fridge. “If it’s not too much trouble? Are you hearing yourself?”

Max gives him a disapproving look when he sees you look away.

“You sit here and we’re gonna take care of it, okay?” Max smiles before helping his boyfriend to avoid any incident like it always happens when Charles cooks. Or tries to.

While they’re occupied you think that is a good idea to take a shower to feel fresh and clean before dinner.

But the second you move to get up, Charles is by your side ready to help you.

It makes you feel a lot of things, some good and bad — especially some bad ones. Because the last thing you wanted was to cause trouble and have them running behind you to help with whatever you need, forcing them to cancel events to stay at home with you. Which is exactly what happened.

“What do you want?”

You groan, “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“I’ll run a bath for you.” Charles smiles brightly, forcing you to sit back down. But you don’t let him get away, grabbing his wrist.

“I can do it,” You feel stressed and a burden, and there are tears pricking your eyes. “You don’t need to do everything for me.”

Max stops chopping the vegetables to pay attention to you. “We know that,” He says with a weird expression on his face that you don’t really want to think about right now. “we’re trying to help you. You fell down and are in a lot of pain even if you want us to believe otherwise.”

You blush because you thought you were doing a pretty good job hiding how bad you actually feel.

“When we said that we want to take care of you, it was because we mean it. Nothing is more important than you.” Charles rubs his thumb over your knuckles, while you feel really small and scolded like a little kid.

“I just–,” You hide behind your hands, finally letting the tears fall freely down your face. “I don’t wanna be a burden.”

They stay silent for a few minutes. And then, you feel Max arms on your back while Charles lifts your chin up with his fingers. They look softly at you which only makes you cry harder.

“Oh, princess.” Max wipes the tears with the pad of his fingers. “We love you. Of course we want to take care of you and help with anything you need. You’re never gonna be a burden for us, okay?”

“I know you’d do the same for us.” Charles lets you rest your head against his chest as the both of them hold you in their arms. “Will you let us take care of you?”

You want to say no, but deep down you want to be taken care of. But you’re so used to doing everything by yourself, you never had someone worrying this much for you, never had someone who cared. And now you don’t have one but two people willing to drop everything just to take care of you.

You nod against Charles’ chest, tears still flowing down your face, and whisper, “Okay.” Even if you still want to fight against it and do everything by yourself.

Maybe things need to change a little.

#꒰꒰ 📁 ─ verstappen cult files ꒱꒱ #charles leclerc x reader #max verstappen x reader #f1 imagine #lestappen x reader #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc fluff #f1 x reader #max verstappen fluff

[kitten4sannie]

backstage bukakke with ateez ♡

a/n: is anyone in need of post coachella performance brainrot?? :33 and if any of you were wondering,, no i’m not okay 🙂‍↔️🫶🏼 without further ado, here’s a LOT more backstage debauchery (like i went insane….i should be in a padded cell rn….) except this time san brought the whole crew to help drown you in cum <333 enjoy the meal my dears bc i can never show my face in public again after this 😭😭

w.c: 2.4k

warnings: alcohol use, subby fem manager! reader, free use, domteez, gangbang, who’s the biggest menace here? that’s for you to decide 🫵🏼, this is just complete filth btw,, dirty talk, degradation/praise, pet names/name calling, so much cum….., yungi confirm the big cock allegations, hongjoong might have a captain kink idk, double penetration, anal, implied sloppy seconds/thirds/fourths kskssb, brief tit play, brief oral, cum eating, size kink, bulge kink, breeding, creampies for days, a bukakke as promised <3

Once the members sent out their last waves and finger hearts to the adoring fans and locals in the vast festival crowd, they made their way back to their temporary dressing room to catch their breath and have a celebratory drink or two. Brimming with adrenaline and energy due to their momentous performance, they erupted in enthusiastic greetings as soon as their dear manager entered the room, a few of them draping their arms around your shoulders to give you a quick hug.

“Manager-nim, did you like the show?” San spoke up, bringing his glass up to his mouth, taking a small sip of the potent liquor.

“You know you can just call me by my name, San, and I thought you guys absolutely killed it, like always,” you replied, scanning their faces, lightly adjusting the hem of your work blazer. No matter how many times you had all of their eyes and attention on you, you couldn’t seem to get used to it. It always made you feel hot under the collar, not knowing what was going through each of their minds when they looked at you the way they did. With interest. Hunger.

San couldn’t help but smirk, his dimples visible. You had taken the bait. He watched Yunho serve you a glass of whiskey. “You’re right. We’re way past titles, aren’t we? Especially considering the way I had you bent over for me right after our set last weekend.”

You choked on the liquor, your body suddenly feeling hot, especially under the heated gaze of the men standing around you. “S-San, behave yourself.”

He lightly licked at his lips, his gaze sharpening, ready to add to the growing heaviness of the atmosphere in the room. “Don’t act so coy now, sweetheart. You know better than that, don’t you?”

You bit into your bottom lip, looking up to Yunho for help, only to find that he was giving you an increasingly perverse smile, like he was reminiscing about something filthy.

Yunho reached down to wrap a lock of your hair around his jewelry adorned finger, sighing, “We could all hear the way Sannie fucked your brains out, doll, but you wanted us to hear, didn’t you? Even though you’re our manager, you’re still our good little slut, yeah?”

Something clicked into place inside your brain like it usually did when they talked to you like this. You could finally stop being so uptight and in control, instead allowing the eager members to do as they pleased with you. “Yeah, I am,” you nodded shyly, your insides on fire.

San took a step towards you, reaching out to run his fingers along your collar bone. “Can I ask you something?”

Your breath caught inside your throat. You knew what he was going to ask. You knew what they wanted. Despite the professional relationship you had with the members, you always seemed to end up in increasingly unprofessional situations with them. You couldn’t help it, not when they always made you feel so good. Wanted. Craved. “Say it, San….”

His pointer finger drifted down your chest, along the seam of your blazer, gazing down at you. “Can we make you our whore, Manager-nim?”

The members exchanged pleased glances with one another, some of them pulling at the crotch of their tailored pants.

“As long as someone locks the door, okay?” you answered underneath your breath, your eyes beginning to glaze over with lust.

San simply took a step around you, running his hands up and down your shoulders, coaxing you out of your blazer and unzipping your work dress, presenting you to his beloved members like you were a treat — one they would savor together.

-

“Don’t pass out on us now, baby,” San’s husky voice attempted to reach you through the fog you were in, his fingers gently rubbing at the fresh load that had splattered onto your flushed cheek, sliding his digits into your panting mouth for you to clean. “How many was that, hm? How many cocks have been inside you so far? Can our slutty manager remember?”

You stopped counting long ago, too fucked out to think about whose cock had already rearranged your insides and who had stuffed your ass full. You couldn’t even remember who had fucked your face either, but your sore jaw was proof that it was most likely one of the more gifted members. “I-i don’t know how many, just want more,” you whined out, looking up at San past your wet lashes.

“Yeah, you always want more from us, don’t you, baby? Want us to go to our limit? Want us to give you our all, huh? Are you going to milk us all dry like a good slut?”

You could hardly listen to his breathy, self-serving monologue, not with the way Wooyoung was gripping your hips and shoving his thick cock into you with abandon, like you were his own personal sex doll. “Uh-huh, wanna be good for you all…”

“How precious,” San sighed under his breath, all while he jerked himself off, beads of pre-cum spilling out of the twitching tip, watching the way his closest friend pumped himself in and out of your clenching hole, noticing the way his hips began to stutter. “Then, be good and take Wooyoung’s load inside that tight little cunt of yours, just like you took our Captain’s and Seonghwa’s earlier, okay? Can you do that for us, baby? Can you be our pretty little cum dump?”

You couldn’t speak, simply responding by squirting all over Wooyoung’s thrusting cock, just about ready to fall over from the overwhelming pleasure, but unable to with the way Mingi was behind you, his heaving chest pressing into your back, his ringed fingers lazily groping at your sore tits, balls-deep in your tight ass.

“Pretty baby, our pretty girl,” Mingi praised in a gravelly voice, his lips against your ear, squeezing your tits just as his groans began to crescendo, driving himself into you a few more times before he held still, previous loads leaking out of your ass and down the sides of his veined cock to the base as he filled you up again. “Can you feel that, babydoll? Feel the way I’m stuffing you full of cum? It feels so good, you want to cry, don’t you?”

All you could do was nod drunkenly, tears pricking at the corners of your hazy eyes, your trembling thighs growing more and more numb.

“Look at her, guys, she’s cumming just from being bred,” Wooyoung panted out, his hands squeezing into your sides, holding you still on his pulsing cock, not attempting to pull out until he was sure your inner walls were coated with his cum, chuckling smugly along with his fellow members at the way you desperately drew in another shaky breath and simply whined instead of forming words. “Poor slut can’t even talk. Someone should shoot their load down her throat. Maybe it’ll help ground her.”

“Way ahead of you,” Yeosang softly interjected, giving you a princely smile as he walked up to where you were positioned on the lengthy couch. He ran his slender fingers through your hair, slowly angling your head back as he did, bringing his slicked-up cockhead to your parted lips. “Say ‘ahh’, darling.”

Just as you obeyed, you watched Yeosang’s pretty flushed face contort in pleasure, reaching out to wrap your fingers around his pulsing length, milking it for all it’s worth, rope after rope of hot cum shooting into the back of your throat, a few dribbles remaining on your tongue. You were so full of cum, all of your holes were used up, and yet you needed more. “Not enough…More, please. I’m being such a good girl, aren’t I?”

San’s teeth sunk into his bottom lip, sharing glances with the other members, squeezing around the base of his cock to keep himself from busting right then and there. “Guys, I think we broke our manager.”

“Isn’t that the point? Look at her. She loves it,” Wooyoung pointed out, motioning to your blissed-out face, before he finally pulled out of you, reaching down to spread open your used hole, pleased sighs echoing inside the room. “Look, Sannie, her cunt’s all messy now. Ran through. Just the way you like it, huh, you sick fuck? You want sloppy seconds?”

San nodded his head, salivating, practically in a trance.

“Then, hurry up and shove your cock inside her before my cum leaks out,” Wooyoung tsked, climbing off of the cum-stained couch and smacking his hand against San’s ass to get him to spring into action, which he did, laying down on his back and sliding you down onto his cock inch by inch, but not before he tapped his leaking cockhead over your swollen clit a few times for good measure.

San’s dimples accompanied his shit-eating grin as he bottomed out, slowly running one of his hands up your lower abdomen to feel the outline of his stiff cock. “It’s so big inside, isn’t it, Manager-nim? Am I stretching you out nice and wide?”

All you could do was whimper pathetically, because not only were you taking San’s curved cock inside your cunt, but meanwhile Mingi had been showing Yunho the way your hole had begun to gape after the rough treatment you had taken, especially from someone with his size, knowing it was best that he prepped you for his best friend, knowing the term ‘horse cock’ didn’t even begin to describe what Yunho had to offer you. “It’s all for you, bro. Come and get it,” Mingi mused huskily, getting out of Yunho’s way so that he could replace him, one hand on your ass to keep it spread open for everyone’s viewing pleasure, as your hole slowly swallowed up Yunho’s obscene girth.

San and Yunho seemed to be in the middle of an intense competition, considering the way they both would continually thrust into you harder, and faster, grabbing at your tits and hips for leverage to fuck into you even deeper than before, if that was possible. “I-it’s not a–fuck–race, guys,” you cried out, suddenly being pressed back into Yunho’s warm chest when San sat up on the couch and folded you up, jack-hammering himself into you, using you like a cocksleeve. 

“Yes, it is, and I’m gonna knock you up first, not this loser,” San grunted out in between shaky moans, smiling with his canines at you, then at Yunho past your shoulder, who responded by bucking his hips up into you so roughly, he had to wrap his arms around your middle to keep you in place. 

“I’m fucking her ass, dumbass, I can’t even knock her up if I wanted to,” Yunho replied breathlessly, shaking his head, giving San a playful smile, before pressing his lips to your earlobe. “And I want to, tiny. Wish I could.” 

“Not with that attitude,” San huffed, blowing his sweaty bangs out of his eyes, his vision beginning to blur with the sudden onset of pleasure surging through him. “I’m going to fucking–unnnh–fill up your slutty cunt with my cum, baby. Gonna make it so messy. And you’re, fuck, you’re so tight now. That’s our good cumslut.” 

“The perfect cumslut,” Hongjoong interrupted in a low voice, suddenly towering over you, holding his cock near your mouth, nodding approvingly when you began to suck and lick at the tip. “That’s right. You love Captain’s cock the most, don’t you, pretty girl?” 

Seonghwa pushed his way past the other thirsty members who were hovering around you like vultures, slipping his fingers into your hair and gently guiding you to his own cock, cooing at you approvingly when you let it hit the back of your throat. He smiled smugly at Hongjoong, who was now side-eyeing him. “Stay mad. It’s not my fault she has taste.” 

“You better watch it, Seonghwa.”

“You can watch our slut suck my cock.” 

Hongjoong grumbled to himself, reaching down to tug your head back just firmly enough to lead you back to his cock, before you took it upon yourself to sandwich their lengths together so that you could please them both at once. They stopped bickering and instead held onto each other, biting into their lips as their highs began to take over. 

It was then that San and Yunho emitted similar sounding guttural groans, fully sheathing themselves inside you, their fingers squeezing tightly into your hips from either side. 

“Cumming,” they both exhaled, resting their heads on either side of your shoulder, beads of sweat dripping down their jaws and along their straining necks. 

Just as hot cum poured into both of your used holes, Seonghwa and Hongjoong began to shudder and grunt out obscenities, aiming their milky streams towards your lolled-out tongue.

San suddenly waved for Jongho to come closer, pulling out just enough so that obscene globs of cum began to leak out of you, making you whine. “Here, cum inside her, JJong. I want my favorite maknae to finish our cumslut off.”

Jongho gingerly positioned himself near your gushing entrance and plugged you back up with his thick, throbbing cock, his strong thighs smacking into your delicate ones as he vigorously bounced you on his lap. “Want it?” he simply asked near your lips, making you blush.

“Please!”

Just as Jongho pounded his load and the others deep into your womb, Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Mingi pushed their way closer to you, vigorously jerking themselves off in order to leave their own individual mark on you for the second or third time, extremely pleased with themselves once they covered their dear manager’s face and body in their cum. 

Once you all came down, you found that you couldn’t quite operate your body properly, not when your lower half was completely numb and throbbing with residual pleasure. San and Yunho took it upon themselves to cuddle you from either side, while Jongho gently rubbed your tummy in circles, wondering whose load would knock you up first. Only time would tell.

“How was that?” San asked softly near your ear. 

“We weren’t too rough with you, were we?” Yunho murmured, biting his lip. 

“How are you feeling, Manager-nim?” Jongho added gently, patting your tummy.

You sighed gently, reaching up to pat their heads, smiling at the men around you. And to think you actually got paid for this. You couldn’t have asked for a better job. “Guys…I’m fine, and for the record, it was so good, I don’t think I can ever go back to having normal sex again. I’m a bit concerned, actually.”

The rest of the members began to laugh, and you joined along, before clearing your throat, suddenly feeling uncomfortably sticky, looking down to see what you had all done to the poor couch. “Okay, so, who’s going to clean this mess up? And, it’s not going to be me. I can’t move my legs. I…think you guys actually broke me.”

San looked over to Wooyoung, who was already rolling his eyes, pointing dramatically at him. “I told you!”

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

© kitten4sannie, 2024.

#ateez #ateez smut #ateez mingi #ateez x reader #san smut #san x reader #yunho x reader #wooyoung x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung smut #yunho smut #mingi smut #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #kpop smut #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong smut #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa smut

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[dumb-doll-lips]

Maybe controversial, but on posts about being dumb where girls are like saying ‘but I’m actually smart.’ Like tbh, I don’t really believe them. Like if you’re smart why does feeling dumb feel so good or hot or whatever to you then? I kinda feel like it’s having an excuse to let go of trying as much as you would be when you’re saying your smart. If you’re like really actually smart, I don’t feel like a break from ‘being smart’ would be such a relief or like as appealing.

#if you’re on my blog much may have noticed I’m just having a lot of feelings about this more lately #like it’s okay to not be smart #you can be happier #and like I feel like I sometimes get people who try to call me smart #like there’s diff skill sets #I think I’m still pretty good at soft skills and like makeup stuff #but like I regularly can’t get left and right right or name all the months and so on for lots of things #idk. I feel like dumb doesn’t mean you’re horrible at everything #like you still have value and can make a positive impact but just in different ways #I’m a soo much happier when at work I’m more focused on being someone others really like to work w than like being efficient at my job #and honestly seems like people prefer that #I have too many thoughts about at this lately #really hoping throughing them into the intenrwbt even if it’s more in tags gets out of my head more #personal #also very much not at a 100 notes but for a text post from me it’s impressive so… #100+ #little thoughts

[ghostdrinkssoup]

thinking about how the only reason sunny started reconnecting with the world and realising he deserves love is because kel never gave up on him. even though sunny isolated himself from everyone kel still called him and tried to reach out. and it’s so pivotal it’s literally the key choice that determines whether or not you get the good ending. the path to healing and contentment depends on whether or not you take the hand kel offers you. and sunny learns to forgive himself because he keeps making that choice. he opens the door for kel, and therefore chooses reconciliation and personal growth. it’s why he’s able to save basil in the end. because kel is strong and resilient and kind. because kel is lonely and has grieved in silence for years but still looks for sunny everywhere he goes. because they’re both invisible. because everything that sunny needs, kel has.

kel saved sunny’s life

#they have the healthiest relationship in the game which says a lot because everyone is so damaged #I’m literally inconsolable #they’re foils your honour #tbf sunny foils all the kids for different reasons (which is why his dynamic with all of them is SO GOOD) #but his dynamic with kel makes me the most insane #idk what it is but it’s made me viscerally unwell #and that’s just thinking about the good ending. what about the bad/neutral endings………… gonna throw myself out a window #I also have thoughts about how hs!kel is the most flawed out of the kids even though headspace is meant to be an ideal world #meaning the kids are all the most idealised versions of themselves #but hs!kel is always in trouble and flawed and disruptive and is so openly himself #because he doesn’t need to be perfect to be deserving of love. not even from sunny’s warped/unreliable perspective #which is so important considering sunny’s relationship with kel directly impacts whether or not he can forgive himself #but anyway……………. #omori #omori kel #omori sunny #omori suntan #omori sunkel #omori caprisun #ghost speaks

[raiiny-bay]

sun & moon boyfriends

#b and a #dhes is the sun like hot rage though #not happy sunshine character lol #these edits were done months apart but they’re going in the same b/a post anyway #the new bios for the character pages are coming along nicely btw #it’s been kinda fun writing them. i’m trying to challenge myself to write a lil differently than i normally do #i’m also adding an incredibly self indulgent amount of info to them #i decided i’m gonna add an entire section dedicated to describing their mannerisms #idk. i just think it could tell a lot about them. & it’s not something i really thought about before #i mean. i have. i know their mannerisms & quirks well. i just haven’t explicitly written about them #like. in detail.

[ninjaaa-go]

why am I getting so emotional about a little plastic ghost??? morro seriously has such a grip on me it’s insane

#I have too many thoughts that I can’t properly articulate here #but I’ve been watching dragons rising and just saw episode 5 so no spoilers beyond that please #but oh boy and I feeling some things about Morro #I think part of it is just supremely unfortunate timing because literally right before I watched the episode #I finished writing a chapter of my Morro centric fic and the stuff I was writing today was about his identity and how #his connection to the wind plays into it #so I was kind of emotionally primed to just have a lot of feelings about a new master of wind #I have a lot of feelings about dragons rising in general both good and bad but that’s a whole separate deal #idk if I had a point and I’m just rambling now but Morro has just really carved out a soft spot in my heart #and I’m probably too attached to him but what can you do #he and Jay are my specialest little guys and I am not capable of being normal about them #ninjago #lego ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising #Ninjago dragons rising spoilers #dragons rising spoilers #they’re just in the tags but I figure better to be safe #ninjago morro

[prisonpodcast]

some ccs are just straight up nuts there’s no other explanation

#saw a comment on r/dwt2 and it made me look into the moonzy/draggie situation #this freak accused him of having ‘grooming tendencies’ when he was YOUNGER than her #he showed all their DMs and it was just reciprocated flirting ?? #he was initiated more but it seemed reciprocal to me? #she just got mad at him bc he replied to one of her tweets where she was flirting with Karl with ‘ouch’ #<- replied in DMs I mean #I guess bc she thought the flirting was a joke ?? #how is this an ‘experience’ you need to speak up about im loosing my mind #‘guy flirted with me I flirted back but I wasn’t really interested pls show ur sympathies and like and subscribe🥺’ #and in her statement she was talking about an anon who came out about their experiences prior #saying they had been groomed but draggie had fully debunked that years ago #so idk why she was bringing that up ?? #and ofc you have aim.sey and max and sniff in the replies with their heart emojis #straight up nuts I’m losing brain cells here #btw she’s the one who said something about how a lot of ccs didn’t support her #including big ones from that ‘stupid mine.craft server’ (meaning dsmp obv) #just nuts straight up nuts #negativity #like I have to be missing something (and if I am pls tell me but I don’t think I am???) #because saying this cringe flirting with someone YOUNGER THAN YOUUU is ‘groomer tendencies’ is fucking nuts #it’s just what is with these people like what’s wrong with them #why does mildly uncomfortable experience = horrible predator we need to inform the public about bc they’re a danger to society #sorry I’m done I’m just actually upset lol

[starbuck]

I remember back when The Mountain Goats No Children was a meme on here seeing a post that went “I hope you live, i hope we both live,” and it making me SO angry…

And this was before I had ever even listened to the song (or anything by TMG for that matter), but now, knowing that John wrote the song, and specifically the line “I hope you die, I hope we both die” in response to radio overplay of the sugary sweet I Hope You Dance, I feel even more vindicated, because like.

Yes. Ultimately my overall life philosophy is that I hope we all live… I would hope that goes without saying. But No Children isn’t a life philosophy. It’s about how sometimes everything sucks and you feel like shit and trapped and hopeless and angry and I HOPE YOU DIE, I HOPE WE BOTH DIE!!!!!!!!! And who can’t relate to that? Who has NEVER felt like that in their lives??????

I feel a little silly accusing what was ultimately just a joke meme post of Toxic Positivity, but that was the vibe I was getting from it, which is why it made me mad. As though it was sticking up its nose at a song it clearly had no understanding of and going “well I hope we both LIVE 😇😇” and like. Fuck you lol. It’s okay to feel negative emotions. It’s okay to be angry.

#tmg #the mountain goats #tagging bc i feel strongly about this lol… i’m sure i’m not the first to say this #but like. you know. if negative songs aren’t your thing then that’s cool - i respect that #but they still have a right to exist #it’s like people saying that stories with tragic endings shouldn’t exist… that non-hopeful stories should not exist #they can’t understand how people could get catharsis from that too #and it’s okay to not understand! there are plenty of things people enjoy that i’ll never understand #but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t exist #or need to be sanitized #idk… my personal experience with No Children is that i avoided listening to it for the LONGEST time bc i thought it’d just be edgy bullshit #but then i FINALLY listened to it and i was like ‘oh yeah - i’ve been there’ #and i’ve been a Mountain Goats fan ever since #bc i really respect and appreciate the way that John doesn’t see negative feelings as the antithesis to healing #there are a lot of artists out there who are like ‘yeah i made a lot of negative songs when i was in a bad place but now i’m getting better #so i’m gonna make happy peppy songs now!’ and like. hey - good for them! more power to them! #but i like the acknowledgment that experiencing those darker feelings doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person or backsliding #it’s okay to just *FEEL* #and it’s okay to sing ‘No Children’ at the top of your lungs in your house all alone #you might even feel BETTER afterwards! #don’t know until you try it!!

[puppyeared]

footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia

#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain #way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right #but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion #this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me #how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk #I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it #but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid #theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some #universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice #source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING #THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific #than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍 #nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I #really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk #the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will #understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿 #Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best #but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment #im rambling the short version is I have adhd #yapping

[haterlain]

I love it when matsson gives the most innocent boo boo eyed look towards someone before dropping the most uncomfortably dick softening comment possible

#lukas matsson #he’s so unserious but also it’s very obvious when he takes something genuinely #like when he was just infodumljng his feelings to Roman unprompted and then realized he said too much #the uncomfortable cough and turning away and being like anyway .. #idkkkk #he’s so interesting to me #always on my mind #ok not to add on to my delusions #but I think he’d be the type to actually get hurt over something small #like if he felt like he wasn’t being cared about #the thing about feeling like others fail him is a sign of being over sensitive to feeling abandoned imo #bc I’m like that #it’s like #quite literally a fabricated standard you set for people so you can shut them out without having to pinpoint it to ‘it hurt my feefees’ #I feel like he would test people a lot #like he’d do that girlfriend shit where it’s like babeee would you still love me if I was a worm 😢 #would you still love me if I killed your entire family and then framed yoj for it 😢 #idk. share your thoughts in the comments 🤣🤣🤣 #romelukas #tagging also Cus everything I’m thinking abt is in the context of that ☝🏻 #EDIT:MORE ON THIS #ok so when I was talking abt the like wpild you still love me shit #I think he says it jokingly #like it’s very obviously ridiculous #I think it would more so act in a way to push someone away? #in the same vein as sending the blood #it’s a mix of it’s a joke and it’s not a joke #I think everything does mean somethjng to him #if the person rejects it it’s bc they’re uptight and can’t take a joke and goddd you think I care? #but if they took it seriously then he’d be rlly into it

[dahldahlbills]

I really need to get serious about personal projects again

#I think I said something like this last year too lol #currently in a weird headspace about it #the biggest reason why I lost focus on them was bc I prioritized engaging in fandom #(something that I never really did when I was focused on publishing a few years back) #so part of me feels like in order to make considerable progress on projects again I need to cut myself off from fandom #and I kinda have been weening myself off a bit from animanga but not really for that reason #it was mostly bc I was getting overwhelmed by how much I was consuming and I wanted to appreciate things fully #I don’t think I’d cut myself off from fandom completely either I’d still try to keep up with stuff #but the idea of not engaging in fandom anymore kinda.. scares me? #idk I feel like a major loser admitting this lol #it just feels like I’d lose a lot of connections with people #and would lose a lot of the love I have for stories if I’m not actively interacting with them :( #and then there’s also that stupid feeling of being a ‘fake fan’ because I’m not dedicating every single second of free time to fandom #which is dumb bc like I have a life and need to make money yknow I got things to do #im just Stressed bc I’m at such a critical stage career wise and im getting closer to 26 so hhhhh healthcare coverage will be up in the air #so I really can’t afford to dawdle #there’s just so much I wanna do and while I’m not necessarily racing to get it done I still want to take advantage of the time I have #but it also sucks feeling like I’m giving up a part of myself to progress on another part of myself #I don’t think any of this makes sense sorry I just needed to dump my thoughts bc I am Terrified™️ #anyway personal projects! gotta get back to those ! #blahblahbills #delete later

[ginalinettiofficial]

idk i just don’t trust ppl who say “billy is a racist abusive piece of shit” but then turn around and reblog jason content like. okay if u have that opinion that’s your prerogative but it’s MY prerogative to point out that it’s weird af to feel that way abt billy and NOT abt jason

#d speaks #st #billy hargrove #jason carver #like if u hate billy that is your prerogative esp as a black person. that said #these are white ppl i’m seeing who’re like billy is so racist!!!! btw here’s my blorbo jason #it’s just like ??????? does not compute #like if we’re comparing things that got said in canon. saying ‘there are types of ppl u stay away from and that boy is one of them’ and #saying to a black kids face ‘i thought u were one of the good ones’ like. those are. very on par with one another #like there are 4 characters on this show who made racist comments: troy. mike. billy. jason. #as far as i remember at least those are the Big Ones #and while i understand not liking billy and having his racism be one of your driving reasons behind that #i do NOT understand turning around and liking jason????? #mike okay! yes he was fully microaggressive to lucas but yeah he’s a protagonist #and the show does a lot to try and make u like him. he was younger than billy & jason and they also played that moment off for laughs so #like i get if you can sit there and be like i have no reason to dislike mike wheeler for his racism #troy tbh just doesn’t get any talk in the fandom so idk how ppl feel about him. he IS the only one to fully use a slur but #he’s also 13 and i’ve seen many ppl in the fandom who define morality based on this middle schoolers are learning high schoolers should have #already learned and should be better narrative so i wouldn’t be surprised if i saw ppl defending troy #but billy and jason are. very on par with one another in terms of the micro aggressions they committed and the level of antagonism #so i am just very thrown by seeing ppl hating one and praising the other like #it’s almost like they…… don’t actually care about racism and are in fact nowhere near as anti racist as they believe themselves to be #and instead just use the term ‘racist’ as a trump card to try and win arguments abt characters they don’t like without ever actually #putting any critical thought into this show and the way racism is intertwined into every aspect of it #because surprise!!!! it was written by blatant racists lmfao #fandom wank #i suppose lmao. wank in the tags at least #also to clarify. i think both billy AND jason are compelling and interesting multifaceted characters #they’re both good antagonists and they both present very good looks at The Type Of White Boy You Meet In Small Towns #stranger things

[autumnhobbit]

I’m gonna be real with you guys, I kind of dread the idea of trying to raise any future kids in this church

#and it’s not because i don’t believe the faith. obvs i do #but like in practice i’m either going to be going by myself or with my mom & siblings or whoever #i don’t have any friends my age so idk how i’m gonna find good friends for future kids #and obvs i want them to have good friends #i do believe in the virtues of friendship and believe it’s an important thing for people to experience and work at #but also i’ve had a lot of heartbreak in friendship and have a complicated relationship with it #and when i think back on my own childhood in churches it was always so turbulent #both because my family didn’t gel with the cultures/ideals of so many parishes #and because my dad made enemies everywhere we went (for obvious reasons but still) #that wasn’t us kids’ fault #but it didn’t matter #i thought i had adults to look up to in faith #but i have literally none i have a close relationship with #and even the ones i respect that doesn’t mean they’re good around kids #or would like hanging out with me #and i don’t want just any random person thinking because they’ve talked to me a couple times #that they get say in the close intimate decisions or issues i have with my spouse or children #the whole thing is strange tbh #like i don’t even want to have a close relationship with some priests even if i respect them or like them #and too many priests think that just cause they see you once a week they know you and should have a say in things they know nothing about #idk man catholicism in america and maybe the world is just. so hard nowadays.

[x-ladydisdain-x]

I feel like most modern ‘riot grrrl’ isn’t angry enough. like yes it’s women or non men being loud but they’re not actually mad about anything they just like the aesthetic and the name. it’s also too produced & put together. what happened to riot grrrl being messy and desperate and diy. this isn’t punk this is indie pop with drums.

#just a thought maybe I’m wrong idk #but like the bands that came out of the riot grrrl resurgence don’t sound like riot grrrl #they sound put together and like. nice. and write about breakups and have no anger behind their music or words #not all of them but a lot #sometimes opal says stuff

[strawberrybyers]

let me tell you as someone who survived pop music artists stan twitter or whatever it’s called, marvel twitter, game of thrones twitter, and bts twitter (i wasn’t really involved with stranger things twitter but i trust you guys when you say it’s terrible)— it’s a shit show over on that app. like when people say they don’t want twitter users here, they’re not saying it to be gatekeep-y or whatever. they’re saying it because they don’t want to deal with seeing or experiencing any harassment.

twitter thrives off of toxicity. i think you can definitely attempt to create a healthy space for yourself depending on what your interests are, but i imagine that’d be hard because even if you don’t interact with anyone, you’re still seeing others interact with people in a horrible way. i know that being a part of fandoms that are big always led to there being drama every single day and drove me away from even wanting to talk about my interests. people really do help curate the experience you have with whatever you’re a fan of and when the people are bullying, harassing, and being rude; you suddenly do not like that thing all that much anymore.

you really have to experience twitter to fully understand it in my opinion. there’s a certain way that it works and it becomes very cliquish/cultish and idk it sounds dramatic for sure but the ones who have been on twitter and are saying it’s a bad place understand 100%.

#byler #sorry not byler related but i saw others talk about twitter in the tag so i wanted to also lol #i saw the rise of twitter and it’s downfall that’s insane #twitter used to be justin bieber vs one direction #those were the simpler times #bc at least everybody involved were ages 12-16 and it was just nonsense at the end of the day like no one cared lmfao #everyone on twitter now can’t think for themselves and are more eager to prove that they’re a ‘good’ person than actually being good #they think being good = making a problem out of everything and that everyone must share the same opinion and like the same things as THEM #and what’s wild is that someone will get doxxed over a goddamn fictional character #putting someone’s life in danger and being proud to do that is such a scary mentality #and i could write a whole essay on how damaging that is to think like that and how lots of social media users have an ego problem #i deleted twitter 3 years ago bc i started to use it less and less as it got more and more unbareable #and i’m way happier now #tumblr is my safe space #they need to fix twitter fr i don’t want this site to get ruined #especially by ads or brands and celebrities like idk i have so many thoughts