#idk if i will ever tell them it but i am thinking it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mikichko · 11 hours

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little bit personal but i’ve gone through lots of weight fluctuations in my life and no matter what size i am, summer is always hard for me.

which is why i cannot stop thinking about being ghost’s partner through summer.

we already know that he’s a man of few words, prefers to observe more than anything. so he really doesn’t miss the meticulous way that you plan out your outfits.

shorts have to be a certain length, shirts have to be at least long enough to hit your hips and sleeves long that are up to mid bicep. hell, he’s even seem you choose to wear pants all summer instead of even attempting shorts. too anxious over how you’ll be perceived to let yourself enjoy a nice warm breeze on your legs.

he asks you once if you’re warm, approaching the conversation the best way he knows how, only to have you laugh and tell him that the pants just hold you better. don’t need to give people a reason to comment on your appearance. he nods and you seem happy that he’s happy with your response.

but he’s not. listen, simon’s not really one to jump to defend someone’s ego from being bruised. god knows the team rags on johnny too often for him to pretend otherwise. but this? nah, this is different.

he’s all too familiar with the way bodies react and absorb the shock and trauma of war. has seen soldiers of all shapes, sizes, identities tank hits like no one’s business. there’s absolutely nothing he despises more than for the untrained, ill informed cretins offering opinions on someone else’s body. specially if it’s ever directed at you.

he’ll never say this though. at least not outloud. though, his actions do speak for themselves.

small pats on your hips as he passes by you. wrapping his arm around your lower belly instead of your waist, you try to swat at him but he just pulls you back into him. insisting that he lays on you when you’re stretched on the couch, dropping kisses on your clothed belly while his hands draw patterns on your plush thighs. if he’s feeling cheeky he’ll sink his teeth into them just to get a little squeal out of you.

even in public he doesn’t ease up. pulls you into his lap in front of your friends, knows you love it despite your protests. lounging out on a patch of grass along the walking trail, he pulls you closer to him and has one of your legs draped over his. massaging the fat there as you chatter about nonsense.

idk simon riley just really loves you and loves the body that keeps you alive and feeds your personality.

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flaming-green · 3 days

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hi here are some accounts to follow if you're barely getting into the dead poets society fandom !! this is a veryyyyy long post im so sorry. if anyone wants to be removed from the list please tell me !! @kylacxie

first on the list !! @desire-mona (they/them). mona is everything and I love them. makes the absolute best posts ever and is just so fucking funny. you will see rsl posts very frequently. also posts about house md frequently. one of the best mutuals ever !! their tags under stuff they reblog are the best okay, they're either agreeing with you or it's something like "hey. *leans up against my anxiety diagnosis*" that's an actual tag I've gotten from one of their reblogs btw.

and now @i-am-in-love-with-todd-anderson (she/her). ania is one of the sweetest people ever and is so supportive. also very smart !! her analysis posts over the movie make so much sense and are mostly things I would've never thought of but still make so much sense. (those posts are either so depressing or are just a nice little experience.) also, she's like in love with Meeks. do I need to say any more.

@askthedeadpoetssociety (she/her). also just such a nice person. makes beautiful fan art and takes requests !! pretty sure she barely joined herself so there's not much else to say but I am very excited to see what her blog leads to !!

@pinksnail55 (she/her). everyone knows pinksnail55. we've only recently learned her name is Caroline !! her account is mainly reblogs, which I think is absolutely perfect. you would never miss a single amazing post.

@cimacally (I don't know pronouns, sorry). is also pretty new to the fandom ! comes on every once on a while to post the most accurate headcanons you will ever read in your entire life, reblog a thing or two, goes away (?), and then repeats. blog is still definitely worth checking out !!

FANFIC WRITERSS

@cowboylexapro (he/him). I've read a few of his pics and they're absolutely amazing and I would definitely check them out !!! his blog is also cool so that would be something to check out. (AO3 user: cowboylexapro)

@gayfandomnerd225 (it/kit/mae). absolutely had to include mae. has fifteen works so far and they're great !! writes both angst and fluff btw so choose your fav idk. also. please check out fog's blog !! especially the "queerdads duo" tag. (AO3 user: GayFandomNerd)

@aguyinthepubliceye (he/him). had to include the other half of my queerdads. porto. hello. he has two works and they're some of my favorites still !! also please check out his blog too ! he's funny as fuck and loves to traumatize my brother and I ( @amorisastrum ). though I wouldn't give him too much credit, user gayfandomnerd225 has those days too. (AO3 user: guyinthepubliceye)

I know @perksofbeingpoet (she/her) is a fanfic write too ! I'm just not sure if there are any works in this fandom yet. (AO3 user: perksofbeingpoet)

@chrisginny (she/her). if you're a chris x ginny enjoyer, then her blog is the place to go !! mainly only writes for that ship but it's great ! it would be nice to check out her blog as well just saying !!:) (AO3 user: ecarte)

@good--merits-accumulated (he/him). I read one of his pics the other day and it was one soo good. (Un Dernier Verre (Pour La Route) is what it's called. I highly recommend it !! is a fantastic writer and seems like a really nice person !! (AO3 user: mistermerit)

if I'm missing anyone, go ahead and reblog with people !! the list was getting long but here you go !!

#amazing people #all of you #again tell me if you didn't want to be tagged !!:)#dead poets society #dps #dps fandom #dead poets fandom

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loveyourownsmiilee · 2 days

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Hi, reading your blog has been comforting the last couple of days because you never waivered on buddie. I would like to ask you, do you think they will have a feelings realization the ending of the season or only in season 8? Or do you think it will be later? How do you see working for Eddie to figure out his sexuality?

Hi Elle! That’s honestly the sweetest and if anyone ever remembers anything about me I hope it’s that my blog brought them some sort of comfort at one point in their lives! That’s so kind and I’m sending you a big hug �� I will never ever waiver on Buddie. I’ve been shipping them since s2 like swear on my dogs life and I just, I can see the chemistry and the potential and the natural progression from friends to more so I’m sat and I’m being patient for what’s to eventually come!!

I really am hoping that come the end of this short season, we have at least one feelings realization. Idk who it’s going to be but if I were a betting woman, my money would have to be on Buck since he’s already one foot there. I really do believe Tommy is a stepping stone and he seems like an aware enough man. He knows something for sure. He was confused when Buck told him he wanted to get his attention and he was looking at Buck midway to a panic attack when he found out Marisol is moving in with Eddie. I’ll kill for a moment like New Girl when Sam is leaving Jess and while he’s in the elevator he goes “Cmon Jess you know. I mean I know. You know…It’s Nick.” So like imagine Tommy and Buck and ending things amicably and he’s trying to gently let Buck know he’s in love with Eddie but Buck has never allowed himself to even consider that possibility. So Tommy kindly tells him, “Cmon Evan you know. I mean I know. You know…it’s Eddie.” AND BOOM WE HAVE HIS FEELINGS REALIZATION! I mean that’s one of many ways it can happen. What I’m trying to say is I can totally see one of them realize their feelings but not have anything happen.

Let’s not forget we still have to get through Eddie breaking up with his girlfriend and dealing with his own things. I will say though, I think Eddie’s in a good enough space mentally to not have a full fledged panic over his sexuality. I know he has religious guilt and all that and I think it’ll be lovely to see him work through things he’s repressed for yearssss. Maybe we’ll find out about a younger Eddie who had a best friend he was into but had to repress that part of himself. Which lead to him trying so hard with Shannon and everything that came after it. What I’m trying to say is I think 8a could totally be Eddie working through his own sexuality (bc I don’t think we have ample time to fully do it this season) and then by the mid season finale, he finally accepts his feelings for Buck and maybe even tells him. And the remainder of the season it’s them trying to work on their relationship turning the romantic route and all that. Who knows but I think ideally I could see Buck realizing his feelings come season 7 finale. Eddie having his sexuality storyline 8a with feelings realization by the mid season finale and then getting together 8b! Hope that helps ☺️

#juju answers #jensenboyjared #buddie #new girl #911 speculation #sorry for rambling I’m in pain killers and legit have no filter atm #also this was SO NICE and I did in fact cry over it

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slicznymartwy · 8 months

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I’m not sure if your comfortable with it, but if it’s alright, can I request Billy Lenz and the reader (established relationship) having some sort of conversation on his past and the reader comforting him?

this one is rlly sad im sorry :(( this is mostly hc since i've only ever watched the original 1974 film, so idk if this lines up with the canon from the other movies. from what i know about it, i think it's similar. no mention of agnes in this warning: sa of a minor mention, please do not read if that bothers you. also, reader insert was abused/beaten by their mom. very sad take care of yourselves please

☾⋆⁺₊ billy lenz x gn!reader

Night fills your bedroom and coats itself on the floors and walls, except for where the yellow streetlamp spills in past your curtains. Sparing a glance to the alarm clock on your bedside table, you see the time is so late it could already be considered early.

Still, you can’t think about sleep; not when Billy is laying beside you and the house is blissfully empty, two things so rare that it almost seems serendipitous. You’re not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so you keep staring at the ceiling and let the warmth of his body radiate into yours.

“Billy,” you whisper into the quiet room. “Are you asleep?”

You can hear him grunt and squirm beside you, and you feel bad for waking him. It wasn’t often he got a full night’s rest on a bed, and you knew for a fact that there was no mattress in the attic. There were only so many chances to have Billy and the house all to yourself, though, and you don’t want to squander it.

“Billy,” you say again, nudging him with your foot.

He grunts again, but it sounds more cognisant than before. He reaches over himself to pat your arm, almost like he’s quieting down a noisy cat, and you can feel his hand trail down to your own. His palm covers the back of your hand, and he threads his fingers in between yours, curling them down together.

It’s a gesture so sweet that you’re tempted to let him fall back asleep. There’s no helping your addiction to him, though, and you tighten your fingers on top of his.

“I’m not tired,” you say with a pout. “I wanna talk.”

This time, Billy groans, low and long. You think it might be out of annoyance, but you can feel him stretching out beside you, straightening his long legs underneath the covers. He huffs when he’s done, eyes blinking open.

You love his pretty eyes, an orangey amber that you were always getting lost in, no matter how unsettling they could be. It always felt like he was staring into you, like he could see the marrow in your bones.

You loved his intensity. It made you feel alive when the rest of the world was tired and grey.

“Hi,” you say, reaching over with you unoccupied hand to touch his jaw. “I didn’t ask before. How was your day?”

He’s quiet for a long time, and you wonder if he can fall asleep with his eyes open, but then he says, “Bad.”

The word hangs in the air. Billy’s face gives up nothing, a blank page with no words of his own to say. You frown and pull your hand back from his face to rest on your own chest. The other stays in his hold, neither of you willing to let go.

“I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” you ask, although it doesn’t surprise you when Billy shakes his head against your pillow.

“Okay.” You squeeze against his fingers again, pulling gently on his arm so that it rested more heavily on top of you. The bedroom air is quiet, but your mind continues to race. It’ll be good for him to get it off his chest, you tell yourself.

“Is it something old or something new?”

He thinks about your words for a while, but then you hear him mutter, “Old.”

“Bad memories?” you ask, looking back at him. He blinks at you, then nods.

“I get bad memories, too.” You lean against him slightly, and glance up at the ceiling. “From when you were a kid?”

This time, Billy shrugs. You know you shouldn’t push him, but your heart aches to see him hurt and to not have the rememdy.

You turn around and let go of him for only a moment. You search for his hand again, this time with the opposite one to press your hands together, palm to palm. Your fingers entwine so easily, so naturally, that it makes your heart ache.

Maybe he just needs to know he’s not alone in whatever bullshit he’s had to endure in his life. Maybe it will help to know that you have bad memories too.

“My mom used to hit me,” you admit quietly. You stare at the way your hands mesh together, with your nails polished and Billy’s own chewed up. “She used to take my stepdad’s belt and hit me with it. Used to just be the leather part, but then she would swing the buckle at me too. She broke a tooth, but it was just a baby one. My adult teeth grew in alright.”

You keep your voice casual as you speak, because facts are facts, and there’s no reason to get upset about something you can’t change anymore. Besides, you reminesce about your childhood so infrequently that it feels like it all happened to another person.

You remember the beatings like you’re watching it happen to someone else – something else, because you don’t feel bad for them when they can’t sit at school because of the welts on their ass. You don’t bat an eye when their mom has to take them to the doctor to reset their broken nose.

“Bitch,” Billy spits out from beside you, and you have to laugh at the venom dripping in his voice.

“I don’t talk to her anymore,” you tell him, smiling sadly. You glance at him, but it’s hard to look at the mean look on his face. It probably isn’t for you, but your mind is traitorous and too sensitive.

Even worse, Billy could be mad on your behalf. No, you can’t think about that either, not when you’ve spent so long pretending that it didn’t really happen.

“Anyways. All that to say, I know what it’s like, having bad memories. You don’t have to tell me, just… I’m here for you,” you say, running your thumb along his hand where they’re still locked together.

“Want to,” he mutters, voice croaking unnaturally as he speaks in his own voice.

Quietly, you release his hand and instead wrap yourself around him, laying partially on top. He lets out a heavy sigh as you settle, with your arm coming up to rest by his head and your same-side leg resting over his hips. He watches the ceiling, and you watch his face from where you lay your ear to his chest

“Bad billy. Disgusting,” he mutters, and you pet his cheek with the back of your hand.

“I don’t think so.” You keep your voice careful and quiet, but he sighs and its agitated. Pent up memories start to overfill, and you can see it on his face.

“Mommy,” he starts, but his voice breaks and he coughs to clear his throat. “Mom. Fucking hate her. I hate her. Stupid fucking slut. She’s disgusting. Not me. Not Billy.”

You take your hand away from his face, watching how his expression continues to contort, mixing between anger and disgust and fear. It wrenches your heart in your chest.

“You’ve been so good, Billy. You’re not disgusting.”

“I hate her. I hate her,” he chants again. “Oh, Billy! Shut up!”

When he says his own name, it sounds like a feminine moan. You almost don’t understand, but the implication dawns on you only a moment later. It’s not difficult to piece it all together: his rage, the names he calls himself, the moan. You feel sick.

“Hey, we can stop,” you try gently, but Billy either doesn’t hear you or doesn’t want to stop.

“No one needs to know, Billy. Be a good boy.” You can’t look at his face anymore, the ugly way it scrunches up hurts you down to you core. Guilt claws at you from inside, and you wish you knew the right thing to say but you don’t. The truth, you decide, is enough for now.

“I hate her, too,” you tell him, and it sounds a little wet. You don’t let yourself cry, but your heart breaks for a younger Billy, afraid and confused.

“That’s my mom,” he says. You don’t know what he’s trying to convey when he says that – if he wants you to pity her, or if he’s sharing his betrayal with you. He whines, a painfully soft noise that gets trapped in his throat.

Gently, carefully, you card your fingers through his hair where you can reach, and you kiss his shoulder.

“She’s gone. She can’t hurt you anymore,” you tell him, although you don’t know if it’s true. You do know that, as long as you’re by his side, there’s no way you’ll let that woman touch him again.

“I wish I could kill her,” he says through clenched teeth. His voice is thick, like he might be crying. You can’t bare to look. Billy’s grief melts into you like it’s thermodynamics, heat into cold, and you can only hope that you can take some of his and ease his mind.

“How would you do it?” you whisper, pressing your hand over his hammering chest.

“Cut… cut her head off. Smash it like a pumpkin. Oh, Billy! Good boy, Billy. Shut up!” His voice breaks when he shouts. He coughs, then gasps for air, his breath shaking as he fights against the tightenness in his throat. “I’ll turn her teeth into pumpkin seeds,” he snarls.

Without warning, you move yourself to lay completely on top of him, pressing against his body with your body weight. He groans, and you’re sure you must be squishing him, but he doesn’t complain. In fact, his arms come up around you, hooked under your arms and pressing you against him with his hands at your shoulders.

“I’ve got you,” you tell him, pressing your face against his neck. “You’re okay now. It’s just us in here. Just me and you.”

“I hate her,” he whimpers again. “I hate her. I hate her.”

You don’t say anything, because you don’t think there are any words that could possible take away his hurt without also being a complete lie. Underneath your body, you can feel Billy start to relax, grounded back to reality from the rotten memories playing in his head.

“I’m sorry today was a bad day. We can have a good one tomorrow,” you say. It’s an impossible thing to promise, but you mean it like one. You’ll make sure Billy has a good day, whether fate wants it or not.

“Okay,” he murmurs. “I’ll kill your mom too.”

“Thank you,” you say. You kiss his temple, and he leans into your lips.

a/n: reblogs and replies are really appreciated

#billy lenz #black christmas (1974)#billy lenz x reader #slasher x reader #₊*. ⋆༘ — requests #i'm sorry if the pov changes anywhere accidentally #please ignore if i accidentally left in a 1st person pov mention i think i fixed most of it #if not .. forgive me pls #i shouldnt admit this but ive been messing around on c.ai #but its the worst thing ever idk why people rave about it #writing ur own fanfic >>>>>#its such a waste of time refreshing for a better response #when i know what i want them to say .. its just letting people be lazy #i want to shake everyone using it and tell them to just write their own stuff #its so much more rewarding #anyways i am ovulating and thinking about cod men .. its a terrible curse idk why i let this happen

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ducks-love-peas · 8 months

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24 icons below the cut (3 screencaps | transparent/halo version, colored bg version, original bg version | 250 x 250 px)

like/reblog (or leave a reply) if you use! or just if you like them :)

credit appreciated but not required

don't edit/redistribute/repost/claim as your own thx ⇝(want a color that's not here? have a request? ask me! <3)

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens icons #muriel #angel muriel #good omens muriel #i love them so #halp idk how to make icon posts have never done this before pls be nice #hopefully i have wrangled this into some semblance of photoset order so they're not in one giant line and the text isn't goobered #i fought a mighty battle with the eldritch horror that is the new editor lemme tell ya #also feel free to let me know if something about the icons is funky #i haven't ever made icons except for myself #and i mean i don't think there's anything wrong with them? but who knows!#also yes hello i am alive #i was travelling and stuff but i am back home and can hopefully keep up with things now #goodomensgifs #goodomensedit #i made this

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skitskatdacat63 · 10 months

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Aforementioned Napoleonic AU! Martian !! I said it would just be a wip but then oops, I basically finished it! Ty to everyone who was interested :D

Really really proud of these I'm ngl! I rendered in a really different way than ever before and I'm very satisfied with it :D

Ramble about historical influences(basically me being a nerd about who I consider the F1 drivers of the Napoleonic era):

So I wanted to explain my thought process because I think that the specific context behind the uniforms I drew is very relevant, as I didn't just pick them on a whim.

I drew them in Hussars' uniforms(Austrian Empire = Red Bull, but like obviously not 100% accurate because the uniform colors are based off the RBR racesuits.) Hussars are, in my opinion, the F1 drivers of their time. Let me quote several things that led me to this conclusion:

"During the Napoleonic period, hussars, as in all armies, were employed as scouts, given raiding missions or despatched to harry and pursue a defeated enemy on the run. Mounted on light, nimble horses..."

"...Their flamboyant costume and their reputation for daredevil acts..."

"...developed a romanticized image of being dashing and adventurous.

Okay....so they're dashing and adventurous, riding specifically on fast, light horses, dressed in flamboyant outfits committing daredevil acts...sir that is literally an F1 driver!!! Tell me they aren't the historical predecessor to F1 drivers!!!

I have this big book of Napoleonic uniforms(yea I'm a nerd) and I was paging through it to see what uniforms I wanted to draw(I have a habit of drawing my one oc in the Napoleonic era. So when I started drawing fanart, I'm like of course I must draw them as this!) Austria's normal uniforms in this era are soooo boring compared to France's, so I was really 😒 about drawing them, but then I came across the Hussars, and then started noticing all these similarities and thought it was perfect. Also I need to mention the fact that Austria's royal cipher at the time was literally this:

IT'S "F1", IT IS LITERALLY FUCKING F1, WHAT THE HELLLLL!?!?!?!? I had like a partial mental crisis coming across this, at that point it was destiny for me to draw this

*I forgot to include actual ref images 😐, so here you go!!

*I wrote most of his around when I started this drawing, which was all the way back in April. And it's really interesting to consider now that I was basically immersed in the history of the Austrian Empire for a month. I apologize to everyone in my life who had to endure my lecture on why Hussars are the F1 drivers of their time. But god I could not hold it back when I saw some of these uniforms in person. And it was cool to pull out this drawing, even if it was just a wip, and be like "oh hey I've drawn these!!" Anyways, I digress.

Obviously the martian drawing is a direct reference to this pic from Malaysia 2010:

My thoughts on this picture:

I almost wanted to draw Seb in the Austrian Kaiser's outfit, but it is nowhere near as slay as the Hussar uniform, so Hussar uniform it is!

I have many thoughts and opinions on the lore of this au so pls ask if you're curious but it's also just a lot.

#me: i will draw anything but their racing suits idk how to draw that :(#also me: then procedes to draw them in the most complicated uniforms ever #like seriously how is this easier to me than fucking race suits????#catie will draw anything but normal f1 fanart #you will only get weird AUs that have even me going 'why did i make this???'#as ive said before i have burnout most of the time but then will be able to draw for hours at a time every once in a while #this was one of those times.#ty to everyone who said theyre interested!! you guys made my brain kick into gear #like the before of what i was gonna post compared to what i actually finished is pretty insane #i drew that seb drawing and discovered a method of rendering that was easier to me #so then i was able to go back and finish that drawing and not go mental over it #i just have a habit of being overly meticulous and then not being able to finish things #so these are great cause it was kinda just 'fuck it'#but god i genuinely actually love drawing napoleonic uniforms its very soothing to me #as if you couldnt tell my weird obsession already when i said that napoleon painting is my fav painting ever #anyways please take my weird obsession fanart !! i am pleased w it :D #i asked if anyone was interested bcs i think i couldn't just post this without preface LOL #martian #sebmark #mark webber #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art.#<- i use that tag every once in a blue moon fr #hussar au

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strike-n-brawl · 1 year

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A Friendly Match between the Destined Rivals !

#kirby series #kirby #king dedede #as you can see I am fairly new here #so hello everyon👋👋#trying to get used to tumblr but I think I'm getting the hang of it #tho hey for now look at the them !!#big fan of whatevr they got going on #literal embodiment of grown-ass men who fight 7 yr olds online #<<Most PEAK friendship dynamic ever made in fiction actually idk what to tell u man #Paint-a-Picture

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femmeroi · 5 months

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My stinky guys

#judai yuki #jaden yuki #jun manjoume #chazz princeton #yubel yugioh #ygo #lacunashipping #<- that's what I'm calling Yubel/Jun thank you for coming to my brain #Yubel/Jun “have” a ship name already but literally no one used it ever and it was shit ass so I'm making my own #fermentshipping #<- And that's what I'm calling Yubel/Jun/Judai IDK if they have a ship name already or not but if they do it sucks and mine is better #I think the three should hold hands and kiss and yell and go to therapy #I hope these don't look like shit ass I am straight up delirious right now because of the medicine but I trust my love to be good enough <3 #my art #<- I always forget that fucking tag #Sorry Judai but between your soulmate and your rival you ended up being the third wheel because I thought it was funny #Any time I make Yubel or Judai ship art just assume the other one is in on the relationship unless explicitly stated otherwise #They're a combo deal to me. They were super polyd ! They're a pair ! Do not separate- can not separate #I have So Many thoughts about them approaching relationships post cannon I love to think about how shitass they both are with that stuff #I can tell these tags are a mess but I don't have enough brain power to fix them right now

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echo-stimmingrose · 6 months

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I so desperately want to be this big multi-fandom person but I've been hyperfixated on the same thing for two years (PJO) and before that was a five year long hyperfixation for a series I don't post or read about anymore cause it makes me feel icky. Also getting into new fandoms makes me nervous cause I don't know how the people in the fandom are gonna be and I won't know anything about it going in, and it's always a fandom that's been around for years and I feel weird about joining it so late. It can also just be incredibly overwhelming, I so desperately want to be a marvel fan but the sheer amount of media there is to consume just makes me panic.

#idk i made this post. i just feel guilty that i only ever post about one thing fandom wise.#also all my irl friends are apart of multiple fandoms but im still stuck on one and am way more obsessed than they are #i also maladaptive daydream due to childhood trauma and i did that with the 5 year long hyperfixation #i ended up not being able to tell the difference between fiction and reality and when i came out of that i had to be hospitalized #its a horrible feeling cause i could no longer enjoy the series even without the author being a shitty person #i am apart of multiple fandoms but i can only focus on one at a time and theres not a lot i am apart of #i love #the owl house #arcane #pjo #nimona #but i really only post or think about one of them. i cant bring myself to finish toh for some reason and im waiting for S2 of arcane #echo's silly little rants

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da-proti-toku-grem · 9 days

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why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for -#- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?'#i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy'#but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety??#i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day*#aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all.............#ranting

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pbnmj · 10 months

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Ur tags about how Miles and Pavitr are the ones who say "I can do both" because it IS quintessential spiderman thinking AND because they're too young to have seen that devastatingly not work yet. BUT the thing is they are RIGHT but only if it's "we"! Spiderman's mythos is inherently a lonely one reinforced by Miles and Gwen's isolation and by every. single. intro. reminding us that every spider person is the "one and only spider person"! And yet!! These films are just about relationships (1/2)

YES YEAH YOU GET IT !!!! and (quite recently rewatched it and mentioning it here cause i can't believe i forgot to mention it in the post you're talking about) it really gets me that gwen also says 'i was doing both' in regards to protecting miles and protecting the canon event, and i love that the phrase was reflected like that, even tho (at this point of the movie) miles and gwen pretty much oppose each other in views/priority !!

it also absolutely kills me the way that gwen begins (like you say) atsv quitting the band and isolates herself, and then throughout the whole thing she finds something/someone that she wants to take that leap for, all over again :') she (and the entire spider-team!!) is willing to bet everything on miles and is ready to fight for him, and i really just love the idea that miles just is a force that inspires good !!!! IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT LOVE!!!

#and . i dont think she would have done this without reconciling with her dad and that entire speech.#i do think that acceptance and love meant everything to her when she was at her lowest and it pushes her to do more +#AND it shows her canon events arent necessarily end alls. and it reflects in how she tells miles parents how much he loves them #just feel like. gwen now believes that love he has couldnt ever be bad. and it shouldn't have to make the world end...#and she believes it wont. AUGH #also been thinking that it's such a fun way to reflect that 'parker luck'#where yknow . where peter just cannot balance his two identities #and usually a spider-man success means something in his personal life goes badly #and idk i love when things are acknowledged to be like. the RESULT of being spider-man .#its fun to me. perhaps i am analysing media wrong. but tragedy magnet spider-man is so fucking depressing on many levels #and that opens up barbie dreamhouse levels of fun to me #generally superheroes creating their own enemies on accident . like ssm's venom was a goldmine to me i enjoyed that interpretation so much #i dont think miguel was right tho . fate of the multiverse/anomaly/etc I DONT CARE OLD MAN. UR OPINION WAS OVER WHEN U STARTED BEEF W MILES #and so sorry this took forever to reply to omg i adored reading this meta !!!!!#answered #disinherits #long post #sorry everyone the floor was open for my deranged takes again

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