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gentlethorns · 4 years

Note

1-31

JKJFLKJGDKLS did you mean. 1 through 31?? like. all of them?? LMFAOOOOOO okay but i’m sticking them under a readmore bc that is gonna be SO long

1. what is a genre you love reading but will probably never write? mysteries/crime. i love the technique and expertise it takes to expertly lay out and set up a plot twist, but i don’t think i could ever do it aptly myself.

2. which writer has had the greatest stylistic influence on your writing? probably stephen king, if we’re talking fiction, but even then i don’t think he’s influenced me a ton - my writing voice is pretty distinctive (or so i’ve been told). as far as poetry, i think reading @candiedspit‘s work has really caused me to stretch my expectations of where words can go and what they can do.

3. has a specific song/lyric ever inspired a work of art for you? absolutely! i’m super inspired by music, bc music is really important to me as a means of emotional expression. back in sophomore year of high school i was working on a story where all the chapters were inspired by songs from folie a deux by fall out boy. it didn’t pan out and i never finished it, but i still think the concept was neat.

4. a writer whose personal lifestyle really speaks to you? lmfao not to talk about him again, but stephen king’s lifestyle really appeals to me. his writing is widely known and renowned, but he just chills at home and watches the red sox games and takes pictures of his corgi and keeps turning out stories. that literally sounds like paradise to me.

5. do you write both prose and poetry? which do you prefer? i do write both! and i can’t say i honestly prefer one over the other - my interest bounces between them and waxes and wanes, but i don’t consistently indulge one more than the other, i don’t think. last year i went through a huge fiction phase in october and cranked out eight or nine different short stories/flash pieces, and then in november/december i went through a poetry phase and wrote multiple poems a day for a long stretch of time. it just depends on my mood and my mindset and what i need from writing (a kind of escape vs. emotional expression/release).

6. do you read both prose and poetry? which do you prefer? i do read both, and again, i don’t think i have a preference. i definitely read fiction more, i think, but like writing, it kind of depends what i need at the time.

7. which language do you write in? which do you want to write in someday? i write in english, since it’s the only language i know. i’d like to learn spanish at some point, but i don’t know if i could ever write in spanish - i’m so firmly married to english grammar and structure that i don’t know if i could ever exercise the same control and mastery over spanish that i could english.

8. share a quote or verse that has been on your mind lately. “you said i killed you - haunt me, then!” from wuthering heights.

9. a writer/poet whose life you find interesting. *sigh*. stephen king. i’ve read his memoir/writing workshop book (”on writing”) and his success story always fascinates me. i just can’t imagine living in a shitty one-bedroom apartment with your wife and two kids and working days at an industrial laundromat and spending nights writing on a shitty wobbly desk in the laundry room, and you get your first manuscript accepted for publication, and eventually the paperback rights go up and you think you might get $60,000 if you’re really lucky, and then one day while your wife and kids are visiting the in-laws you get a call from your agent telling you that the paperback rights for your book sold for $400,000 and 200K of it is yours. that’s just literally. unfathomable to me lmfao.

10. what do you feel about the idea of someone unearthing your unseen or discarded drafts someday, long after your death? what about your personal journal? it’s really hard for me to imagine that happening, i think bc i tend to see myself as really like. insignificant or unimportant in the grand scheme of things, so i can’t imagine any part of me lasting beyond my life. also, it’s very hard for me to imagine someone i don’t know personally reading my work, probably because my work (especially a personal journal) is a window into me, and i have a hard time even letting people i trust see into that window sometimes, much less a stranger.

11. do you prefer to write in silence or listen to something? what do you listen to? i definitely prefer music in the background, although i can work in silence. i tend to gravitate to music that goes with the scene i’m writing, if i’m writing fiction (often i work music into my fiction, so if there’s a song playing in the scene, i’ll listen to that song), and if i’m writing poetry i tend to just listen to laid-back music (unless i’m writing from a place of grief or sadness, in which case i listen to sad music lmfao). i do also love writing when it’s storming outside and just listening to the rain and the thunder as i write.

12. has an image ever impacted your artistic lens/inspired your work? absolutely! less often than music, but visuals can inspire me on occasion. i once wrote a poem based on this image. i just couldn’t get it out of my head, so i decided to figure out what it was saying to me.

13. how would you describe the experience of writing itself? as in putting the words to paper, not planning or moodboards etc. do you agree with the common idea that the satisfaction lies in reading your work after you are done with it, rather than the process of writing itself? i think the process can be arduous sometimes, and other times it can be incredible. sometimes i write very slowly and haltingly, sometimes i write at a normal pace and it feels like the work it is (bc i am trying to write professionally), but sometimes the magic tap in the mind turns on and it starts flowing. that being said, i don’t necessarily agree that the satisfaction lies only in reading your work rather than also in the process. there’s a certain fulfillment in watching everything come together and knowing it’s going to be good.

14. how often do you write? it varies. i would like to write more often than i do, now that i have a full-time school schedule and work part time friday-sunday, but i think i still get a decent amount of writing done, when i can actually sit down and motivate myself to get the words out.

15. how disciplined are you about your writing? not very, in the creative sense - as discussed above, i don’t write as often as i should/would like to, and don’t hold myself to much of a schedule. however, as far as the business side of it (submitting to magazines/contests), i’m pretty disciplined, and i’m usually pretty good about keeping all my “good” pieces in circulation at a couple of places at a time.

16. what was your last long-lasting spurt of motivation? maybe last night? i worked on a couple of pieces and then submitted a few groups of poems to some magazines. i also did some decent work on thursday while i was in my campus starbucks waiting for my zoom class to start.

17. have you ever been professionally published? are you trying to be? i have been professionally published! i got my first acceptance back in 2018, and now i’ve had poetry published multiple times and fiction published twice. i’m still trying to publish more of my work, but i think i’ve had a decent start.

18. do you read literary magazines? not regularly, although i entered a fiction contest for into the void last year, and since it came with a year-long subscription, i’ve been browsing the fiction there periodically. into the void tends to publish good short/flash fiction, so anytime i feel like reading some new stories, i head there.

19. a lesser known writer you adore? idk if she’s necessarily “lesser-known,” but i loved ally carter’s gallagher girl series when i was younger. the first four books were immaculate (although i do remember that the last two books seemed almost unnecessary, and the ultimate end of the series was anticlimactic).

20. do you write short stories? do you read them? i write and read them! up until october of last year i could never figure out how to write a short story and effectively resolve a conflict in 5000 words or less, but then suddenly (like. literally overnight), a switch flipped in my head and i could do it. as far as reading them, i don’t read a ton anymore bc of my busy schedule ( :( ), so sometimes if i’m in the mood to read i’ll opt for a short story online or a book of short stories instead of a full-length novel.

21. do you prefer to involve yourself with literary history and movements or are you more focused on the writing itself? any favourite literary movements? i’m typically more focused on the writing itself, although i do love to learn about the horror boom from the 50s-80s (if that counts as a literary movement lmfao). i also do particularly love work from the era of deconstructionism, which i think took place in like. the 40s-60s, if i’m not mistaken. i enjoy that era bc of its symbolism and abstract nature - a lot of the work leaves the reader to draw their own conclusions.

22. are you working on anything right now? not particularly? i have a few works in progress that i tinker with now and then, but i’m not seriously working on anything in particular.

23. how did you get started with writing? i honestly don’t even remember. i remember the first time i realized that i really liked writing and had fun doing it (in fourth grade, for a school competition), but i know that even before then i was writing stories and poems.

24. do you have any “writer friends”? most of my mutuals are writer friends! but i don’t have any irl. i almost made one in my math class last semester, but we lost contact when our university shut down in march.

25. what is your earliest work you can remember? the earliest work i can remember is when i was really young (maybe like. five or six?). it was about our dog being pregnant (which she was at the time) and able to talk (which she was not).

26. have you found your writer’s voice yet? does your work have a distinct tone? absolutely. i’m very confident in my style and the distinctiveness of my voice - it’s been there pretty much since i first started writing. i’ve improved since then, honed my voice and made it more sophisticated and effective, but at the core, it’s still me, like it always has been.

27. do your works share themes/are commonly about certain topics? or are your subjects all over the place? in poetry, i think i tend to write about grief or loss of some sort or another often, bc it’s something i tend to feel often - either that or a false bravado (but ig that’s more of a tonal device). as far as fiction, i like to write about religion gone wrong (false religion, religion as a front for personal gain and corruption, religion gone too deep into obsession and mania, etc.), and i like smart underdog-type characters that fight and have a lot of grit to them.

28. what does writing mean to you? to me, writing is catharsis, a bloodletting. this particularly applies to poetry, but it also applies to fiction. poetry shows you the things you’re regurgitating up-front, but fiction does it slyly, in a mirror or through a distorting lens. regardless, both stand to offer release and healing.

29. in an alternate universe, imagine you had not found writing. what do you think would be your fixation otherwise? honestly, i’m not sure. probably acting or theater. something creative, for sure.

30. do you feel defined by your work? maybe a little, but not to a large or limiting extent. like, in a new class, my interesting fact about myself will probably always be “i’m a writer and i’ve been published a few times,” but i think that i’m a well-rounded person and that once people get to know me, my writing is just a part of me, not my whole identity.

31. have you ever written/considered writing under a pen name? if you would be okay saying, why? no, i don’t think i have. while a pen name can be a good tool, depending on your goals and what you’re writing, i have a Thing about getting credit where i’m due credit lmfao. i don’t think i’ll ever use a pen name bc if i know something i do is good, i want my name on it.

#asks #anon #thirty-one asks for writers #JAKFJDLJDALKJ this was so long thank you for asking

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arainayeet · 3 years

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hoooo girls i fuckt up... made the mistake of listening to I’m Not Calling You a Liar at 5:30am,, i may or may not have a new worldstate on my hands 🥺🥺 gonna put the details under the readmore! ^^/

Howdy hey! I’m switching to more ‘proper’ grammar here bc I know reading walls of relaxed grammar can be a bit taxing sometimes? idk if that’s just me, but anyways. before we can dive into the bread + butter of things, I gotta exposit a little bit! Very quickly, I just want to give a content warning for a few brief mentions of suicidal thought.

This worldstate (which will probably not go anywhere ngl ^^ it’s just fun to think of the Drama haha) revolves around two minor characters I have in my canon worldstate- Iori Surana and Aleida Amell! They’re super tight Circle buds- between the two of them, Aleida is closer with Jowan. Anyhow, Aleida is the one who naively walks headfirst into the mage origin, which results in her getting thrown into Aeonar alongside Lily. Iori’s entire thing is the fallout of the origin: the frustration towards their friends for doing something so foolish, guilt and inwards anger about being so preoccupied with their own Harrowing preparations that Jowan and Aleida were able to do everything without them noticing, and the loneliness of being the last mage standing in their friend group. What’s the point of becoming a fully-fledged mage if Aleida and Jowan aren’t there with them? All of this culminates into a pretty unhealthy mindset that’s really only worsened by the events of Broken Circle- they experience a thorough disillusionment with Kinloch and make up their mind that death is preferable to any future without Jowan and Aleida. Thus, after the Blight (and Anders’ break for Kirkwall) they fight tooth and nail to become a Grey Warden so that they can die on their own terms. But surprise surprise, they find a new purpose in life with the Wardens!

Now that that’s established, let’s Diverge, lesbians

Instead of Most of That, what if....Jowan grabs Aleida and yeehaws outta Kinloch with her (because she was defensive of him? and he knew the templars would probably kill them both if they stayed there?? idk.. It also makes me :( that he’d leave Lily behind but Lily kinda Did condemn him before he ran so... ;_;), and then the two eke out a relatively Unepic Apostate Existence? Iori is left on their own again and things proceed in much the same fashion until Broken Circle, where I guess Wynne just fucking. does not exist? Idk, but Iori ends up being the circle mage companion instead of her. Anyways, they find purpose in the Wardens, all two of them, yet again and decide to become an official Warden I guess after the Blight? (Which creates an interesting issue with Anders being a part of Awakening but shhhhh)

Anyhow, things proceed relatively normally from there to Inquisition. After the group’s run-in with Avernus in the past + the revelation that genlock emissaries are dwarf?? mages?? Iori becomes very intrigued by Blight magic and basically makes it their life mission to explore it, which leads to the revelation that prompts the Hero to go on their Calling Adventure. This leaves Iori and Alistair to lead the Wardens, which is the most batshit part of this entire thing to me- in the canon worldstate Iori and Alistair are... not super intertwined characters lmao! Anyways, I think there is some turbulence between them because they have differing views on how to approach the Corypheus situation, which leads to Iori siding with Clarel and pushing Alistair out of the Adamant discussions. tfw you’re not a mage warden commander ig :((

Meanwhile on the Inquisition’s end, Aleida has had the great misfortune of being the lass to walk into the Conclave hall and go through all of the madness with the orb, ultimately becoming Inquisitor. I think she’s pretty secretive about herself because she’s A) an apostate that’s been hunted to hell and back and you know....some of the ex-templars in the army aren’t unfamiliar faces and B) still protecting Jowan. I think she and Varric have many ‘hehe’ moments because they both know they’re Liars :3c Anyways, things proceed relatively normally leading up to Adamant, when she and Iori have the worst possible reunion known to man.

Originally Iori was supposed to be possessed here, bc Iori is the Designated Possessed Fereldan Mage Warden in the canon timeline, but I feel like that kinda cheapens their reunion? Plus, I think Iori would Also develop growing suspicions about Erimond + thus would be harder to fool into doing the ritual? but then you have the issue of there being Two Mage Warden Commanders triapsing about Adamant so,,,, I truly have no idea What happens at Adamant beyond Alistair being the unlucky Warden to get sucked into the Fade. Fortunately he survives (rip Hawke ahhh) and Aleida decides to team up with the Wardens because she has been living like a hermit for the last decade and is supremely outta her element where Corypheus is concerned. Iori decides to pass off the mantle of quasi-Warden Commander over to Alistair completely and stays with the Inquisition as Aleida’s advisor on Blight magic both as a practicality and as a form of repentance. The remaining Wardens trust Alistair more fully than they trust her now, anyways.

We’ve now reached the anchor (aha) point of this worldstate, which is the tension between the two of them in these roles lmao. There’s this tangible urge to reconnect because woah!! That’s your best friend from Kinloch, and oh shit, you’re both working towards the same end goal!! But how do you bridge the decade of distance? On Iori’s end, how do you forget that initial abandonment that drove you to sign your life away to the darkspawn? There’s just....a lot of Turbulence and it’s weird- the both of them have shifted into such unrecognizable people since the Blight. But the situation at hand is incredibly overwhelming, and it’s easier to reveal your true thoughts and feelings to someone who you used to be so close with a lifetime ago (especially when they understand the innate need to do right and the fear of making a misstep and ruining unnecessary lives, ooof). So they rebuild their relationship and fix the cracked foundation, they kick Corypheus’ ass and......after a lot of nights with bared souls, strike up a Romance. 🥺🥺

that’s it that’s the entire worldstate haha. if you’ve read this far, thank you for your time!!!

#long post #feels a bit fuckt up to rotate this in my mind bc carviori + aleily are such cemented things in my mind but fuck it.. aleiori indulgence lma #*lmao #it's all about baring your soul man... i swear to god all of my dragon age ships are built off of that ahh #its also wild because like.. i cant wrap my mind around alistair and iori being co-commanders... in canon. despite him only being a year #older than them? they really respect his role as warden commander! there's camaraderie between the two for sure but alistair is V Much So #their commanding officer haha!! it's funky to imagine a world where they're blight buddies and on the same footing.. even weirder is iori #closing him off from convos between clarel and them bc he's not a Mage and not a Blight Magic Connosieur and thus Doesn't Get It #rip alistair haha T T/#anyhow i gotta stop listening to im not calling you a liar it's gonna make me go insane someday xoxo #aleida amell #iori surana #sriracha.txt

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kxngofgotham · 6 years

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SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE(S) SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG. REPOST. DON’T REBLOG.

1. WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?:

Awe gosh. I’m not sure I have an actual true true otp with Oswald. I’m extremely fond of Gobblep.ot. and Nygmobble.pot but I’ve always been rather hand wiggly on how one-sided feelings are in the latter (and won’t ever be explored further in canon.) So I guess I like. It more when it’s written well otherwise it’s just a one sided mess of feelings.

Honestly, I just want Oswald to be HAPPY?

As far as rping going, @onexbadday’s Joker and Oswald is one of my favorites. That just kinda. Sprang up out of a joke LMAO. But it’s very specific to Cas’ particular Gotham Verse Joker. Who is NOT Jerome or Jeremiah. Like pls. Use your eyes to read.

2. WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:

Awe gosh EVERYTHING??? Domestic nonsense is fun. Fluff is fun. Angst; Violence. Conflict. Whatever falls under the sun. I’m not all that confident in writing smut though so I’ll typically fade to black or wuss out and drop the thread; even if I’m super super close to the other mun.

3. HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?:

I mean. Similar enough? Oswald is in his late 20′s/early 30′s in my verses. Massive age differents are a bit of an awkward horse and would have to be discussed individually.

As far as shipping with someone; I’d PREFER the mun to be over 18, especially if things reach anything heated or heavy (not that it really would but lmao). Lying about your age gets you blocked bucko. I ain’t about that life.

4. ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING? :

God yes I am. I am very VERY selective. Oswald has to vibe well with the other muse and I as the Mun have to be comfortable with them OOC. I’ve had far too many situations where I’ve been forced into shipping and I just. I hate it. It’s not fun and it makes interactions a chore.

I stopped rping for a long time bc of it. I need CHEMISTRY.

Also pls don’t throw women at Oswald when YOU know he’s gay. I’m not dealing with it. I’m not going to indulge your fantasy.

5. HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW? :

Anything that ventures past pg-13 is gonna be stuck under a readmore; I’ll put warnings in the tags as well bc I know people don’t wanna see that. (Or maybe they do??? idk)

6. WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH? :

Rn it’s p much only J. Oswald’s got a BIT of a crush on an Edward (Wrongwiththisrights) and Bili’s Ed (akillerconundrum) p much follows a lot of canon so I think it’s safe to assume that what went down in the show occurred between them. (I mean?? We’ve mentioned it in a group chat so If I’m wrong pls correct me jsdflkjsdf)

7. DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU? :

If things are heading in that particular direction and you feel like our muses are vibing well; I’d like to be asked and made aware of the intention to ship.

8. HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP? :

I view it as more of a ‘If it happens it happens’ so Iunno!

9. ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE - OR - LESS? :

I’m not obsessed lmao; as I said. If it happens it happens. It’s not the reason I started this blog and isn’t the reason I continue to write.

10. ARE YOU MULTISHIP? :

I. I guess I am?? I’ve never really been one before; But rest assured if two ships are active then they aren’t related. They aren’t overlapping and Oswald is not polyamorous (have you seen this man?? he could never share). I’m also extremely squicked out by cheating and using it as a plot device. So.

They’ll be separate. Be it a different verse or what have you.

11. WHAT IS ( ARE ) YOUR FAVORITE SHIP (S) IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM? :

I mean. You can look back at the first question lmao; I also enjoy Scriddler (but not GOTHAM Scriddler you feel? Cause Jon is a baby.) UhhhHHHH I enjoyed season one Jim/Lee Butch n’ Tabs. Tabs n’ Barb

idk I don’t know many ships sjdkfljsdfkj

12. FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU? :

I mean. If our muses have good chemistry and we’re friendly ooc you’re free to be like HEYYYY so I’m feelin’ a ship and I’ll be like. Sick bro here’s MY feelings on it. Nine times out of ten? I’m probably gonna be down.

Just know I’ll never shut up about our boys if we do ship.

TAGGED BY: @onexbadday (Thanks Casssss)

TAGGING: @drcraneandmrcrow ; whoever wants to!!

#out of character; ooc;;#long post #What good is Love if it’s One-Sided?; Ship Tag;;#[will smith poses]#[there u go]#[i'm very repetitive and rambly]#[the format kept breaking sdfjklsdfj so i gave up]

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bizarrebird · 6 years

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Okay so, to start this, for reference, I have watched Buffy: the Vampire Slayer several times and taken a class entitled “Understanding the Whedonesque” and written/read several papers about all things Whedon, Buffy in particular, so I feel like I’m at least somewhat qualified to speak on the subject so, here we go

I will put the bloggings under a readmore. And yes, I am very sure someone before me has done this better, but I’ve had a lot of wine and this shit seems fun, so fuck it. And yes, I do like Buffy. I honestly do. Regardless of literally everything Joss Whedon, it’s a good show and was very important (arguably still important) for its time. So this may be a continuing thing. We’ll see.

Diana Liveblogs Buffy (Season 2, Episode 1: When she was bad)

tw: this episode features undiagnosed ptsd, and the subsequent mistreatment and misunderstanding of someone suffering said condition

We’re starting with Season 2, Episode 1 (Because most of season 1 just... isn’t good. Like it’s just bad. The first and last episode are passable, but the rest is mostly eh, and I won’t be revisiting it without significant comment)

So we start in with Xander* (human garbage) and Willow (a sweet child who deserves better) talking idly exchanging movie references (dumb ones, like really really, dumb ones. No seriously their big references are Planet of the Aps (the old as fuck one) and Star Wars (also the old as fuck one) don’t worry about it, Joss still thinks these are smart) and talking about the fact that Buffy has left to spend the summer (after she fucking died) with her estranged father in LA. This scene shows, rather explicitly that Willow has feelings for Xander which aren’t (????) reciprocated, as he is still very much hung up on Buffy, asking if she asked about him when she contacted Willow. Which is of course the most important thing she could have possibly done in such a situation. (we will revisit later all the times Xander* is terrible about Buffy and several other people/things as we go This is the first of many that will be touched on.) Xander* mentions that he has “certain needs” because he’s a man. Wow. A man. Wanting to fuck a woman. How amazing. What intense drama. The fact that Buffy might not be interested occurring to him exactly... never. Huh. How about that.

*fuck Xander

There’s sexual tension here that’s really awkward (more awkward with the fact that WILLOW IS GAY AND I WILL TALK ABOUT THIS IN SEASON FOUR BUT SHE IS GAY) were Xander* dabs her nose with ice-cream and cleans it off. And okay, honestly credit where credit is due this could have been grosser with him licking it off, but he doesn’t. He gently cleans it away. AND THEN They are attacked by a vampire and saved by Buffy, who seemingly appears out of nowhere to save her friends.

THINGS IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE IN THIS FIGHT SCENE

Xander does push Willow back and tells her to go. Ignoring the macho vibes here, he is trying to protect his friend who he was about to kiss. I don’t give Xander a lot of credit, but this is a decent moment.

Buffy slays this vampire by pushing him into a tree branch. Thus she does not kill the first vamp. She pushes him onto another object that kills him. No trust me this is a big deal. Buffy has not killed a vampire with her own two hands for a while. Willow hugs her and then She then asks “Miss me?” as we go to opening credits

((This is important. I don’t care about the hugs we get after credits, we don’t know if her friends missed her and I don’t know how to tell you how important that is))

Buffy comments on the fact that neither of them are ready to deal with vampires “very sloppy”. Which they brush off, Xander* saying “that’s the first vampire we’ve seen since you killed the Master”. Buffy is immediately uncomfy, but they all blow through it. Xander* draws attention back to the vampire she just killed, and Buffy admitting that she went hard (”yeah, I didn’t kinda wail on him, didn’t I?”), but then that gets brushed off too. (do we see a theme yet???)

*fuck Xander

Willow says Buffy missed them burying the Master’s bones, and there’s this very close shot on Buffy’s face as she looks where Willow’s pointing. No one else notices, and no one else cares that Buffy is very obviously having a reaction to that and they just go on with their business saying they’re glad Buffy is back. (There’s a question asking whether she’s seen Giles yet and she’s pointedly ???? about it (cause she doesn’t want to admit to any issues) but that is a whole other Slayer/Watcher video that will develop as we go)

Alright then we go to:

Buffy’s parents putting away her stuff, which honestly is????? I think this plot would mean more if Joss got to do his actual version of the movie and Buffy’s dad got more screen time. But he doesn’t and Joss didn’t so this is just real awkward time that could have been devoted to my queen Joyce. Her dad mentions Buffy was distant. This is maybe because SHE FUCKING DIED AND NO ONE CARES. NO LITERALLY NO ONE GIVES A SHIT SHE DIED. THEY ASKED A 15-16 YEAR OLD GIRL TO DIED AND WERE SUPER CONFUSED WHEN SHE WAS UPSET ABOUT IT.

Okay, but this is not to shit on Joyce. She’s a good mom and she does her best. Please if you are for whatever reason only watching this show now, give Joyce a chance. She’s trying.

So we go to the school and

Cordelia (light of my life and sunshine of my heart this will make sense season 3 or when we get to Angel trust me) complaining about her parents not taking her on a glamorous vacation (this will be important later). Cordelia asks “is it possible to have too much character”, which is a great question (the answer is yes) and we’ll also get back to that later. Then we go to Giles and new (ish, remind me when hyenas ate the last dude) principal Snyder. There is an, extremely worrying comment from Snyder about how ‘every girl makes boys a time bomb’ (no like what the actual fuck Joss that’s so fucked up).

Snyder makes a comment about teenage boys turning into idiots around girls that ‘ironically’ (Joss Whedon doesn’t know what irony is) signals the arrival of Jenny Calendar. Jenny is the computer class (computer sciences???? idk what the fuck they were teaching in the 90s) teacher who helped last season with the destruction of the Master (a lame villain with like minimal buildup and a shitty plot, who killed Buffy cause fuck Joss Whedon).

Giles also likes her. A lot. This will be important later when the plot remembers who she is for drama.

Snyder ends this scene with the line “I might as well be talking to myself”, which HAHA he is. Isn’t that clever? Oh man, Joss, that’s a good one. So fucking original. I can’t believe this guy lasts as long as he does with the shit Joss gives him. No, seriously, look him up, he’s a decent actor??? but all he gets are bit parts cause of shit like this

Anyway

We go to Giles talking with Jenny about her exciting summer at Burning Man. Here we see how cool and ‘in touch with the youths’ Jenny is and Giles isn’t. Wow, how ever will they work out their issues? We just don’t know. There’s some marginally flirty banter featuring Giles picking up on the word ‘naked’ (so clever Joss wow, you are a wordsmith) and Jenny teasing him about liking books (she hints at him reading dirty books, or her liking them. idk what the real point is here) before Xander and Willow show up. Buffy shows up and Giles asks “how are you?”

To which she responds “alive and kicking.”

There’s a lot of fairly pointed stuff here about her dying and coming back, which again NO ON FUCKING TALKS ABOUT. But whatever. Buffy’s good. Like so good.

They quickly discuss and establish that the Hellmouth is still an open and active thing that they should be worrying about. Just in case anyone was wondering what this show would have going for it.

Now okay, Giles does try to be a decent human being here. He asks Buffy when she wants to start training again and clearly feels bad about the whole thing. And when she says she wants to start just then he’s iffy cause he knows there’s some underlying issues going on. But Buffy does insist. She says she’s ready.

INTENSE TRAINING MONTAGES

Okay so 90s montages aren’t what they are now, but the show does make it clear Buffy’s hung up on the Master and, y’know, the whole deal where he killed her. Yeah, that’s still a thing.

Then there’s some vamp stuff that like might have gone somewhere if the kid playing the anointed one wasn’t getting too old. But seriously in two episodes no one’s gonna care. Just worry about how this shit affects Buffy, that’s what matters.

And then Buffy has a dream where Giles tries to kill her while her friends sit there doing nothing. This is obviously super important, but again a point that I feel other people have probably covered better. But the essentials are that Buffy feels like Giles, and to a bigger extent the Watcher’s council don’t care and are actively trying to kill her, and that her friends (when push comes to shove) will stand by and let him do so.

We then go to this shot of Buffy’s window and SURPRISE SURPRISE when she looks back to it Angel is there. Who could have guessed. And okay like, this is a step up from Twilight. I will admit that. But it’s not as much of one as people want it to be. A 100+ year old dude creeping on a girl in high school will always be creepy. HOWEVER BUFFY HANDLES IT BETTER AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS LATER.

So to the point.

Angel is in her bedroom because he has an invite to the Summers’ house. This will be important later. Vampires who are given invitations to a house can use it whenever. REMEMBER THIS.

So anyway, Angel is literally the first person to actually ask how Buffy is. She does shrug that off, but that’s still important. No one else even bothers asking. However, when Buffy presses, Angel reveals that there’s other stuff going on which is the real reason he’s there.

Again, no one is asking about Buffy’s issues because they honestly, earnestly care. Just wanna point that out.

For what it’s worth, Angel does apologize for not having better news and for (at least I like to think this**) not having unselfish reasons to check in. And Angel does try to warn her about the anointed one’s power, which is... nice?

SPOILER WARNING: Nothing comes of this because the actor playing the anointed one was getting to old and wouldn’t work as a recurring villain.

This scene doesn’t quiiiite end there because (and I’m going to try to be civil about the Bangel moments because I don’t wanna shit on anyone’s ship, but god Angel’s the worst) Buffy asks ‘is that it?’ Like, quite clearly expecting more. That isn’t a subtle signal Angel, what the fuck

But he leaves with an awkward “I missed you” before Buffy can respond cause he’s an awkward asshole who doesn’t know how to process emotions. Yes, this is a recurring thing with him. Don’t expect it to get better. It won’t. Yes, Buffy deserves better. She won’t get it, I’m sorry.

ANYWAY

Her mom drives her to school, and here we see THE SECOND PERSON TO GIVE A SHIT AND SORT OF ASK BUFFY WHAT’S WRONG. She doesn’t do it perfectly, and Buffy doesn’t respond, but like... this tiny moment it a looooot for this show. Trust me. You will be amazed at the amount of “I don’t give a shit” that happens later comparatively to the two whole people we had giving a shit here about Buffy’s issues.

Clearly, by what we see, Buffy says nothing to Joyce here. HOWEVER she mentions something about Angel to Willow and Xander. Who are no help. At all. They ask about kissing (Willow, sweet bab) and groping (Xander, oh honey no, I see you Joss, I fuckin see you). So yeah. MENTION OF RELEVANT 90s BAND AT THE BRONX WOW WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE I DON’T REMEMBER

And then Cordelia (my queen) arrives. The show is blessed with her glorious, radiant presence, and we should be so grateful.

So Cordelia (my badass queen who knows no bounds) just flat out stats that she knows demons are a thing and she’s not afraid to admit it. Xander and Willow are trying to keep up the ‘all is normal’ thing, but sweet Cordy has no patience for them. Cordelia (wonder of wonders) says she’s still freaked about being around for the Master stuff last year and (WITH A VERY SIGNIFICANT CLOSE SHOT) tells Buffy “your secret’s safe with me” (which would be a declaration of love on any show between an m/m pair I’m just fucking saying). Buffy (who isn’t ready to accept that she’s bi yet) brushes her off, which, I just wanna say, EVERYONE IN THAT SCENE POINTS OUT.

And we cut to the Bronze (idk if that’s the most correct spelling, but that’s what google seems to think is cool) . Willow and Xander are talking with Willow ( a soft child who knows little of the world yet) saying Buffy’s different now and Xander (a gremlin) saying who cares. Xander just wants to ogle that sweet Buffy bod, which becomes apparent when Willow tries to recreate their cutesy moment from before and it shot down completely.

And I forgot about this moment cause no one cares, but we cut away to vampire biz with the Anointed Baby digging up the Master’s bones for some creeptastic ritual. He doesn’t care about his followers and neither should you. This scene would matter if the anointed one matter, but he doesn’t, so it doesn’t. The only thing that should matter here is that the ground where the Master is buried is consecrated, but that’s never gonna come up again, so don’t worry about it, no one cares.

Stepping in time with *COOL 90S BAND MUSIC* Buffy struts into the club in a dress that’s hot but like... it’s still the 90s so don’t get your hopes up for sideboob. Also Angel is suddenly here I guess???? This would be a lot less weird if he had been there in any of the establishing shots, but Joss is still learning here, I guess, and forgets (frequently) that Angel should exist outside of his love interest, especially if he’s gonna get a spinoff later.

Buffy and Angel say hi and it’s awkward and I would probably care more if I rewatched season 1 first, but you couldn’t pay me enough to rewatch that. There’s clear tension there with Buffy wanting Angel ti give more of a shit and him not getting it because he’s spent a hundred years barely being a person, and Cordelia watches because???? reasons???? I guess. Buffy goes over to flirt with Xander and dances with him and it’s literally uncomfortable for everyone because this is an aggressively clear sign that BUFFY HAS BEEN THROUGH TRAUMA AND IS NOT DEALING WITH IT AND IS LASHING OUT BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO

Like I’m not saying that makes it okay, but this scene is a cry for help from Buffy that no one responds to. And then Cordelia (my sweet love) is forced to regurgitate words from Joss telling Buffy to ‘get over it’. Uh huh, yeah sure Joss, she’ll get right on that you dick.

And then Cordelia gets dragged off by vamps literally right behind Buffy’s back. Like that is the most literally of literallys. And she finds they also have Jenny Calendar there like ????? did they just snatch her and no one gave a shit???

Okay, okay, moving on, Buffy heads home-ish and finds the dug up Master grave which like... is in the middle of a regular cemetery and seems like it should have been fucking noticed by someone???? Whatever, all adults in the Buffyverse (except Joyce) suck I guess

AND THEN. Fucking then we cut to Willow saying Buffy has to be possessed for her weird sexy dancing with Xander. Instead of, y’know, the fact that she’s dealing with a lot of trauma and coping in shit ways and no one cares. Willow, I love you, but you’re not a great friend. Like straight up***.

Xander (a garbage boy wrapped in moldy taco shells****) tries to argue for a second before agreeing. Giles does try to point out that Buffy’s dealing with some trauma (which he has at no point directly addressed with her cause his spine is made of marshmallows and paperclips), and then Buffy shows up and says the Master’s bones are gone and everyone else forgets that she’s dealing with some massive shit. Cause wow, they might be in danger.

ACTUALLY I wanna point out a thing here where Buffy’s like ‘this is slayer stuff, no civvies’ meaning no Xander and Willow and like... given the response he has to Willow being in danger later, his response of getting super pissy now This is gonna be my first

FUCK YOU XANDER HARRIS

FUCK YOU AND YOUR GARBAGE PRIORITIES

FUCK YOUR CRUSHES AND FUCK YOUR ONLY DECIDING GIRLS ARE WORTH CARING ABOUT WHEN THEY’RE DIRECTLY RELATED TO YOU

ahem

Anyway

Snyder says some weird stuff and we move on.

We go to the library for RESEARCH FUN TIMES. Giles reads some prophecy thing saying they need the bones of the Master to bring him back and the blood of whoever was close to him when he died. Huh that’s interesting phrasing, or is it. A rock crashes through the window with a bracelet attached that Buffy immediately identifies as Cordelia’s (why do you know that’s hers Buffy? why do you know that bracelet?). It’s threatening and says come to the Bronze and is deffos a trap, but Buffy goes anyway cause fuck you not-dad

Buffy goes out to kick ass and I believe in her. Angel shows up and is all dark and brooding and no one cares, Angel. They don’t make out cause Buffy can do better and she heads into the Bronze (also there’s terrible foreshadowing about them fighting later and I hate it don’t look at me). Okay a lot of meta could be written on Buffy and Angel talking there but I don’t wanna do it

The trap isn’t for her surprise. It’s for Giles and Willow who were close to the Master when he died. Buffy realizes this and goes back to try to help them and gets there too late and Xander makes me hate him forever. He says he doesn’t know what Buffy’s issues are (there are a lot of them would you like a list fuckboi) and he doesn’t care (and yet he continues to call himself Buffy’s friend) if she had worked with them for five seconds (uh what five seconds? before or after she gave you all the info you had and then went to deal with literally the only lead) and he says, and I fucking quote “If they hurt Willow I’ll kill you”

Suck my giant dick Xander Harris. Maybe you’re a teenager and you’re stupid, but still. that is not the kind of threat you make to a friend, let alone one who fucking weekly saves your selfish entitled ass

I get this is supposed to be a moment where we’re shown he cares about Willow, where there’s a hint there might be chemistry there, but all this comes off as is spiteful and Joss Whedon shoving it in our faces that Buffy is wrong

She’s wrong for feeling her feelings

She’s wrong for not immediately getting over the trauma and hardship Joss fucking Whedon wrote her into

She’s wrong for not immediately knowing what to do to make things better

In case it’s not obvious, I hate this and don’t accept it, but LET’S PRESS ON SHALL WE

Xander actually takes a second to fucking explain why they took the people they did. We cut to Buffy torturing the one vamp who attacked her before (no one’s ever gonna touch on the morality here. like ever. like what the shit guys fucking Supernatural handles this better). Then we go to some... ceremony to probably resurrect the Master. Buffy plots with Xander and Angel “I’m gonna kill them all, that oughtta distract them”*****

And then I guess the ritual almost happens????? There’s not super much threat. The anointed baby runs away and Buffy eventually kills everyone. There’s some cool fight moves, I guess. And Xander and Angel are vaguely helpful, but they mostly let Buffy do everything

Buffy then goes to smash the bones of the Master and FUCKING FINALLY gets to have an emotional moment. Angel comforts her (he still doesn’t deserve her but like at least he gives a shit so... that’s good, I guess, better that literally everyone else here******) . And everyone else looks on and thats???? really weird???? Like there’s no emoting in any of the faces and it just feels v strange

We go to the high school the next day???? and Cordelia talks to Jenny Calenday briefly. Then we go to Giles and Buffy, who (because Joss Whedon secretly hates her which is my thesis for this project btw) says she made all the goofs. All of it is Buffy’s fault you guys. She did everything wrong. Wow. What a concept. Wow. Can you believe it. Because I can’t. I literally can’t wowzers.

Buffy goes to class and... has a moment with Xander and Willow I guess???? They saved her a seat so... everything’s fine now??? idk what the fuck the emotional conclusion we’re supposed to get here is so

Whatevs

FINAL THOUGHTS: All in all, this episode did have an important emotional arc for Buffy and isn’t a bad season opener. It didn’t introduce the main villains, but it did deal with significant wrap ups from the previous season and alluded to some potential conflicts down the road.

*My ‘fuck Xanders are largely as a result of a later ‘fuck Xander viewpoint’ but I think it stands

**For the record, I don’t like Angel. I don’t like the Angel/Buffy relationship. BUT I will give Angel points where he gets them. And right now, he gives the most of a shit about Buffy, so he’s doing decent, not great, but decent in by books

***Buffy and Willow both tend to be iffy friends when there’s a significant other involved. It’s a recurring thing and it’s not great.

****I am legit giving Xander more of pass now because he’s a teenager. He should still know better than to be the intensely shitty shit that he is, but he’s 16 now. This will change in later seasons

*****Okay but how does no one notice or give a shit that Buffy’s dealing with some stuff. She’s 16. This is fucked up, fuck Giles, fuck the watchers, fuck Angel, fuck all of it

******Not to detract from the moment but Buffy’s definitely standing on a box here like. Sarah Michelle Gellar is tiny and David whatshisface is a giant

#diana hush #diana liveblogs buffy #liveblogging #btvs #mostly nonsense #if people like this i'll do more #i just have a lot of feelings and opinions about buffy #i hope no one following me likes xander harris cause hoo boy #i am not kind to him

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