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rosegoldquintis · 5 years

Text

Bookstores & Cigarettes

Paring: Calum Hood x Reader

Warnings: Cheating, smoking, alcohol, break up, swearing, self doubt mentions of sex? shity writing, attempted angst

Word count: 3k?????

A/N: This is the longest fick I’ve ever written and idk how I feel about that! But I am kinda proud of this so let me know what you think!

Also, I was planning on posting this on my birthday which is on Tuesday so you got this a couple of days in advance:D

She brought the cigarette up to her lips wondering how she ended up here. She usually never went to bars or parties but tonight seemed to be appropriate to drink yourself into oblivion.

When she first met Calum she was on cloud nine but then everything changed once she saw him she cheating on her in her own bedroom.

She had been seeing Calum for almost 6 months when it happened.

She was on her way home from work after 12 hour shift. Everything that day had gone surprisingly good, but as soon as she started to approach her apartment complex she started to get a weird feeling in her stomach. Right as she put the key in the lock and turned it something that feeling in her stomach turned into small stabbing pains.

When she stepped into the apartment everything was quiet, the lights were off even though it was nearly 10 PM on a Thursday night. She went up to her bedroom because she just wanted to go to bed immediately, she had to work the early shift the next morning.

As she got closer to her bedroom she could hear quiet female moans. She thought she was imagining it since she lived alone and the only person who had a key to her apartment was Calum. She had given him a key in case of emergencies.

When she opened her bedroom she saw tell him on top of a girl and they were making out in her bed. She didn’t say anything she just stayed frozen in the doorway, not knowing whether she should scream, cry or throw something at the pair.

So she did the only thing that her body allowed her to do. She dropped the bag she was holding which made the pair break apart, she could see how something changed in his eyes, the went from lust, to fear.

She turned in the doorway, made a beeline for the living room where she had placed her phone and keys just moments before, she then walked right out of the apartment, got into her car and drove off in the middle of the night.

That’s how she ended up in a bar, smoking her boyfriends cigarettes at 11PM on a Thursday night. She had two people come up to her that night, the first was the bartender who asked what she wanted to drink or if she was fine,

“Give me the strongest you have” She said “Because tonight I’m drinking myself into a oblivion.” She mumbled once the guy turned his back to her. The bartender turned back around and poured her a drink. She didn’t remember putting the glass to her lips or anything after that. But somehow she remembered the second person that came up to her that night. It was a woman, a few years older than herself.

“Are you okay?” She asked as she looked Y/N up and down. “Do you want me to call you a taxi?”

“I’m fine.” She mumbled as she stood up, she remember nearly falling over the woman but regaining her balance just in time.

She started to make her way out from the pub. She tried to figure out which way to go but it didn’t go as good as she had hoped. She didn’t remember picking up her phone, calling someone nor does she remember being picked up and falling asleep in someone else’s bed that night.

The next morning she woke up in all-too-familiar sheets and in an all-too-familiar room. She sat up too quickly which made her see stars, she closed her eyes and tried to focus. She was still dressed in the same clothes as she had on last night, she stood up from the bed. She went over to the door so she could pick up her shoes which were neatly placed beside a pair of black vans. Y/N carefully opened the door and as soon as she did she bumped into the person she least wanted to see, Calum.

“I’m sorry.” He said “I didn’t mean for this to happen, I was drunk.”

“That’s always the excuse.” she mumbled “You where drunk, someone else was drunk.” Tears started to roll down her cheeks as she looked at Calum.

“But the truth is, it’s never anyone's fault.” Calum looked down at the wooden floor, he didn’t know what to say or how to act. He knew he fucked up big time and there was no second chances.

“I’m sorry honey.” He said “I truly am, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Will you just shut up already Calum.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “You’re the one who ruined this relationship and it’s always gonna be your fault no matter how much you try to fix it.” She said, she was angry. She couldn’t understand how someone who’s been cheated on could do that to another person.

“Are you ok?” He suddenly asked, he had looked Y/N up and down. Her eyes were red and puffy, her clothes had become a mess after she had slept in them and her hair was no longer in a bun on her head.

“What kind of question is that?” She hissed at him

“Do I look okay?” She motioned pointed at her red eyes. “Can you just fuck off?” She spat.

She started to walk towards the door and as she passed though the living room she was met with three familiar faces, Ashton, Luke and Michael. As soon as she saw them she froze. She could tell that they were there so they could try and convince her to forgive their best friend, except she couldn’t forgive him for cheating. Before they started to date they had been good friends and she had nearly giving her cheating ex a second chance but Calum had been the one that told her not to. He told her that people don’t change, no matter how much you want them too, so she didn’t see a reason to give him a second chance because after all, people don’t change, right?

It had been exactly one week and four days since she found her boyfriend cheating on her. Right now it was a 2:45AM and she was sitting out on her balcony, looking out over Los Angeles. She hadn’t slept in her bed yet, she couldn’t bring herself to remove the sheets or even touched the bed. Y/N had been sleeping on her couch, she had also moved most of her things to her guestroom, sure it was smaller than her room but she felt sick whenever she was in the room.

At first time moved so slow, she counted every tear that fell and she could feel herself slipping away. Then time moved so fast, she had gone to sit on her balcony at 10pm. She had gotten herself some food and was listening to some music, but before she knew it, it was 6AM and the sun was starting to rise.

She had been calling in sick to work for the past week because she couldn’t sleep at night. Y/N worked at a small bookstore in the middle of LA, she had never missed a day at work so after a week she had forced herself to go to work.

At around 9AM she arrived the the store, she unlocked the door and walked inside.

Her first day had been such a good day, there had been people coming in and buying book and talking to her as if they had know each other for forever. Once her lunch break came around she told her boss that she was going to run across the street to buy some lunch.

“Do you want anything?” She asked her boss, Kristine.

“I’m good.” She smiled as she helped the next customer.

As she opened the door to the cafe she saw a familiar head of beautiful curls, but she pretended that she hadn’t. The cashier took her order and she then waited for her food to be prepared. When the cashier called out her name Calum looked up from his phone, she could feel his eyes on her back as she walked out of the shop. She was just about to dig into her food when a colleague came into the breakroom.

“There’s a guys out front asking for you.” She seemed confused “He doesn't want our help.” The woman walked out of the breakroom and as she did Y/N let out a frustrated sigh. When she came into the store she locked eyes with the person she hadn’t seen for almost two weeks and she could feel the tears form in her eyes.

“What do you want?” She asked

“I wanted to see how your were doing?” He said as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. “How do you think I’m doing?” she asked frustrated

“I haven’t been able to sleep in my own room for two weeks and you think I’m doing fine?” “I don’t think you’re doing fine.” He said casually “I know I’m not.” Y/N looked at him. “Calum you were the one who told me that I shouldn’t give people second chances because people never change.”

“Well you shouldn’t always listen to me.” He said “Because if you hadn’t noticed, I can be quite stupid.”

“What are you trying to achieve here Calum?” She asked “Because I am not going to forgive you and I’m not going to get back together with you.” He ran a hand though his curly hair and sighed

“I was just hoping we could at least be friends.” She looked at him like he punched a puppy, he cleared his throat. “Because we were friends before we even dated, don’t forget that.” He said.

“I don’t want to see you Calum.” She said deflated. “You broke my heart, I wish I could avoid seeing you but your face is everywhere!” She felt like yelling but she couldn’t.

“If I invited you to a party.” He said “Would you show up?” He asked.

She didn’t try to talk to him anymore because this conversation wasn’t going anywhere, she just shrugged her shoulders and went back into the breakroom. Her appetite had almost disappeared but she forced herself to eat the food so she would have the strength to work for another 6 hours.

The following Friday she got a text message that read ‘Party at Ashton‘s place at 9 PM.’ She threw her phone onto the sofa and she laid her head down and suddenly there were tears rolling down her cheeks.

She didn’t plan to go to party at first but then she remembered that there would probably be free alcohol there, so she figured that getting drunk wouldn't hurt. Once she reached the house she could see that the hour was filled with people and she knew none of them. If she had been with Calum he would know everyone. She walked into the house and bumped right into Ashton, who clearly was the only sober person in the house. He want to hug her but she took a step back and shook her head, his smile dropped and he stepped to the side so she could walk past him.

She walked into the kitchen, took a beer and sat on the kitchen counter. After three hours of small talking with different drunk people two people stumbled into the kitchen, giggling at each other and talking among themselves. It was Calum and the girl from that night, his arm fell from the girls shoulder and the girl whined in protest. She hopped off the counter and as she was leaving the kitchen she purposely bumped into Calum and she walked right out of the door.

During the next week he tried to call, her text her and he even went to the bookstore again but this time she had no intention in talking to him so she told her boss that he had to leave or she would, that night she cried for 3 hours. She felt like giving up but that wasn’t her, she wasn’t going to give up because she was cheated on for the second time in the course of eight months. She didn’t know what to do, most of her friends had been friends with Calum so she couldn’t talk to them about it because it felt like hanging out Calum.

Nearly a month after being cheated on she was feeling better, she didn’t cry as often and she had just recently changed the bedsheets in her bed and moved back into her room. She had blocked Calum almost everywhere and apparently he was now dating the girl that Y/N had seen in her bed and at the party, her name was Agnes. After a while of stalking her instagram Y/N could see why he would chose Anges over her, she was so much prettier. Y/N found herself falling back into the same routines day after day, she didn’t really know what to do so one day she just decided that she should take an opportunity that had fallen into her lap a few days before she broke up with Calum. She had been asked if she wanted to write a book, it didn’t matter what kind but Y/N knew just what she wanted to write. She was going to write something that would help her heal and feel better.

Another week passed by and she had now quit her job at the bookstore and Calum had announced to the world that he was dating Agnes. He never told the world about Y/N, and they had been seeing each other for 6 months.

It was friday night and she was packing her clothes, since most of her friends stopped talking to her once Calum announced her relationship she was left to her own devices. She was listening to music and drinking some wine when the doorbell rang, it was nearly 9PM so she stood up from her sofa and when to open the door. When she opened the door she came face to face with none other than Calum Hood.

“Hi?” She said, Calum looked up at her in surprise, clearly shocked that she opened the door. He opened his mouth but closed it again, not not knowing what to say.

“Uh, hi.” He said, he then proceeded to ask if he could come in, Y/N didn’t say anything, she just stepped to the side and let him walk into her small messy apartment for the first time in nearly two months.

“Going somewhere?” He asked, she looked down at her feet and said,

“Uh, yeah I am.” She cleared her throat. “Well, technically I’m moving.”

“Oh.” He seemed surprised by her answers.”Can I ask where?” He asked

“To New York City.” She said, Calum’s head snapped back at the woman, he had known this girl for so long and she wasn’t the type that would just up and leave in the dead of night. Especially when she had a stable job and family in LA.

“Why are you moving?” He asked. “I thought you liked it here?”

“Well I don’t really have anything that’s keeping me here so I figured why not.” She grabbed her glass of wine and took a sip. “And since my publisher is located in New York I thought it would be best if I move there.” She smiled.

“Wait what? What publisher?” He said.

“I was going to tell you.” She said. “But then I found you in my bed.” She almost mumbled the last part but Calum was used to her mumbling so he heard her anyway.

“Oh.” Was all he managed to say, it almost sounded like had forgotten about that part. “So you would just have dropped everything and moved to New York?”

“Well if we would have stayed together I would have stayed her and just fly out to New York now and then.” Calum opened his mouth and Y/N could see that he wanted to argue back.

I think you should leave now Calum.” She said, he had been in her apartment for nearly an hour and she still had so much to do.

“Well I don’t want to leave.” He said “I want to know why you been ignoring me for a month and a half.”

“Why do you think I’ve been ignoring you?” She asked.

“HOW SHOULD I KNOW? YOU BLOCKED MY NUMBER Y/N!” He was now yelling at her and she was not having it!

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore Calum, can you please just leave?” She could feel the anger crawling up her back and she didn’t want to scream at him and she didn’t know what to say or do.

“NO, I will not leave until you fucking explain!” She could feel tears forming in her eyes. “Please just leave.” She said deflated, she walked up to Calum, she put a finger to his chest and said

“If you don’t leave my apartment now Calum, I will call the guard because I don’t want you here.” He could see the tears that now where rolling down her cheeks and he didn’t know why she was so upset.

During their dating period they hadn’t said I love you and since Calum had lost all his faith in love.

“It’s not like we loved each other.” He spat at her as he looked down at her.

“What do you mean?” She said as her voice broke, she had been in love with him since the start.

“Yeah, we didn’t love each other.” He said. “We never once said, I love you.”

“Well I loved you Calum, I loved you with my whole heart and you broke that into a million pieces.” She said, more tears were streaming down her face and she didn’t know what to do.

“If you ask me out relationship was doomed from the beginning.” He said, not affected by her tears.

“Fuck you Calum.” As she said this she pushed him towards the door, without saying anything he walked out the door, slamming it behind him. She fell into the door and slid down to the ground, when her knees met the ground sobs took over her body. She finally let her emotions free and after god knows how long she let herself fall into an empty darkness.

Tagging some cool people and mutuals

@glitterprincelu @futurewriter2000 @talkfastwalkfaster @geekygoddesss @anashtonkink @c-sainthood @astroashtonio @softforcal @irwinkitten @fratcalum @lilbabycalum

#calum hood #calum 5sos #calum imagine #calum hood blurb #calum blurb #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum 5 seconds of summer

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