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undercoverangell · 3 years

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pspspspsps.... **hands u my five page double sided booklet on how i think pok and sklonda met**

ill make a fanfiction later. for now take the bullet points from the notes app. /hj

they knew each other in college, but never really spoke? Pok was always very confident and cocky and outgoing and Sklonda was just there to get her degree so she could be a detective y'know? She also kinda hated him. He was just like her total opposite. Also she fucking kills it in debates, though thats not that important.

I feel like the most interaction they had was like getting paired for a discussion of some sort and Pok makes a comment of "Wow i like your long hair!" and Sklonda goes "Thanks im gonna cut it all off tonight bc you said that" and she does and Pok doesnt know how to tell her he likes it both ways.

Oh yes, Pok is pansexual! That's a headcanon! Gender is so unimportant to him, he just likes pretty people and pretty personalities! (def not projecting as a pan pok kinnie.... ppk...)

They both meet again later on at a college reunion or smthn around five years later, Sklonda is a confident young woman and Pok is a cocky young man who thinks he can just about get anything "bro im a spy im so cool who wouldn't wanna date me?". Pok approaches her at the party and she just goes "Oh absolutely not! You are not doing this today!" and gives him a lecture on how much she doesn't like him and how he is her complete opposite and honestly kind of a shitty person. They encounter the next day at a park and Pok is like "dude im sorry idk what i was thinking i was kinda drunk not in the right headspace yknow?" and shes like "okay. sure we will go with that." and thus begins the banter!

next time he tries to talk to her theres a teasing remark about if hes in the right headspace now to talk to her and a sort of "oh har har yeah im not drunk in a public park at 2 pm sklonda theres kids here, and this is bottled water not vodka." there's just sort of constant meetings in the Bastion City park and they sit there and just talk about life all while bantering. Sklonda teases him for his fashion sense bc i think he would only wear polo shirts and khakis at this point and soon he has shifted outfits to like turtlenecks and button ups and like plaid pants. Theres sort of an unspoken crush, theyre both just not wanting to end the playful banter and get serious yknow? then how can they make "i hate you so much im sitting here talking to you to waste your time and def not bc im interested in what you're saying and like listening to you talk about work!"

at one point pok just goes "yknow i hate you so much i am going to take you on a date to the diner this friday just to waste even more of your time!" and sklonda just goes "....smooth...what time?" and thats literally how they start dating.

they move in together and pok brings her flowers at work. the receptionist knows him by name. she sees him enter and just goes "Sklonda your boyfriend is here!" and Sklonda tries to be like "wow omg this is so embarrassing babe wtf why do you do this" but she loves it.

I honestly think theyd just get married in a courthouse. sklonda and pok just dont know too many people theyd actually wanna invite to a wedding, so they choose the easier route. they get a week off work so it works out, and also still have engagement rings. Pok proposed and all that, they just didnt want a big fancy wedding. they went on a picnic after getting legally married in the park.

they move to elmville pretty soon after getting married and also have Riz pretty quick after that. Pok brings her flowers at her new office and if Riz is with him he comes along too. Pok keeps photos of both of them in his wallet on missions, in the pok lives au he shows all rhe bad kids riz's baby photos and riz is humiliated and hates it.

Pok also brags about how pretty his wife is. You are never going to hear the end of how much he loves Sklonda and how beautiful she is and while shes more quiet about it, Sklonda if close enough to you will also spare no detail of how handsome and kind her husband is. They both brag about Riz doing the tiniest things.

Pok is a great dad, and if he gets home from a mission while riz is at school he will go pick him up for lunch. Can be found napping with his son at 4 pm on a Saturday after they both exerted all their energy playing at the park. Sklonda teases them about being idiots but she loves them both and would not trade her husband and son for the world. "One gukgak has to be sane and I guess thats me." is what she often says after they get injured doing dumb things. Riz thinks that jumping off the swing at full speed and velocity is the greatest joy known to man and Pok often grabs him before he faceplants straight into the ground.

Sklonda also spends time with her son and takes him to the library a lot. Riz loves checking out books at the self checkout thing and bounces up and down at every beep. She reads him bedtime stories one chapter of the warrior cats books at a time.

Thats it i just love these stupid goblins more than words

#d20 fantasy high #fantasy high #bad kids #d20owlbear #gukgak #gukgaksupremacy #riz gukgak #pok gukgak #sklonda gukgak #dimenson 20

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bibbawrites · 3 years

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i feel like charlie has a breeding kink bc i think that like he has a like a super dom head space and like you said he is it’s like a cocky dom thing with them so i feel like his it would a) turn him on an immense amount and b) make him feel more in charge while doing it and it’s also just a vibe that i get from him too idk how to explain it✋😭

oh boy okay i have a LOT of thoughts now

i thought sub charlie was my weakness but clearly i was very wrong... super dom headspace charlie is officially my new favourite thing... theres so many things going on in my head right now but i dont want to get too into it unless it is required but yeah... wow...

this goes very well with the headcanon that charlie is super into dirty talk, cause i feel like super dom charlie (that name sounds like a fucking superhero tho i cannot... yall dont wanna see my shitty ass editing skills but i feel like i need to badly photoshop his head onto a superhero body so that he can fully become Super Dom 😂 i digress) but anyways i feel like super dom charlie would have an absolutely filthy mouth and i am here for it

just the mental image of him fucking you so hard that you have tears in your eyes and his mouth is going a mile a minute telling you how hot you’re gonna look carrying his baby and how everyone would know that he fucked you so good that you got pregnant and oh my god im gonna stop myself before i go too far but yep this is gonna live rent free in my mind for a loooonnnngggg time

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tigerdrop · 4 years

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okay kind of obsessed with the body swap art tho. idk why i just like benrey getting to bully gordon with his own body, his own voice, and i like gordon trying to navigate whatever weird shit benrey’s got going on. gordon not being able to figure out or control whatever organs in benrey’s throat produce sweet voice so it’s just spewing whatever emotions he’s feeling at random (including Horny? uh oh. can’t hide that as easily as a surprise boner can you gordon?)

this ask kicked me into actually thinking about it and your brain is so huge. massive. i lost control

last night i was struggling to articulate thoughts for the body swap thing but this is kickstarting me. i. really love bodyswap stuff........(sighing) i am yet again having to confront the fact that i latched onto an embarrassing number of Things after having first read about them in [REDACTED]. truly hate being alive

so like......potions. you can get into a whole lot of weird stuff with potions. truly loving that darnolds 5-minute existence gives me an excuse to think of the stupidest horny potions scenarios

and why in the fuck wouldnt he have a bodyswap potion just chillin in his lab. why wouldnt benrey crack that bad boy open and take a sip while darnolds bitching at him "dont you touch any of those goddamn potions. im not gonna tell you which ones which so if you die, you die"

gordon claps benrey on the back afterwards like "well, thats a risk im perfectly happy for him to take" but uh oh you fucking buffoon. the touch is what activates it. and shit just starts spinning and schlorping in his mind and he nearly falls over clutching the lab bench next to him and when he cracks his eyes back open, hes........shorter. and everybodys asking if somebodys okay but that somebody isnt him and hes kind of miffed about that

and then gordons head turns and he sees Himself being steadied on his feet by tommy and darnold and hes like.......guys? guys. hello! and the sound of benreys voice coming out of him with that irritated and loud timbre makes everybody turn to face him........b/c that is so insanely weird coming from him

im like way into the idea of benreys, like, Eye Darkness Thing transferring to gordons face when their bodies are swapped, too. its just his malevolent energies manifesting physically no matter what body hes in

Wait god wait. Like. Benrey in Gordon's body and he gets horny for some reason and has to live Gordon's fucking pained life of the suit edging the hell outta him- Bc now Gordon can actually fucking jerk off for the the first time in days. No edging bullshit from the hev suit

benreys newfound appreciation for why gordons such a bitch all the time

RRRRRRRRRRR gordon able to go wild beating his meat that night finally but right before he does he stops because hes looking down at. 8)!

YES EXACTLY....... gordon freeman humbled by the sight of benreys huge meat. except its his meat now

at first he only feels mildly weird about jacking it when hes not even in his own body right now but hes been edged for days now and hes just thinking "if i can just get this out of the way now, ill be clear-headed for however fucking long im stuck in black mesa. maybe this is why ive been so goddamn stupid lately. yeah"

but then he gets some time and space to himself at long last and unzips and the shock of seeing benreys huge uncut dick instead of his own brings him back to reality like "?oh my god what the fuck am i doing"

embarrassment! guilt! but also hes still fuckin horny and eventually curiosity wins out. whats the harm, right. its not like he has to say anything about it. and gordon freeman is (mostly) heterosexual and hes never been this up close and personal with a foreskin before and hes just......curious. scientifically

maybe hes even.......locked himself inside one of the company restrooms while hes at it. just to make sure hes got privacy. and there is a mirror right there........ he was gonna just bust one out and leave as fast as he can but now hes curious

starts. thumbing the hem of his shirt under benreys vest. starts lifting it up experimentally just to see where all that hair leads. out of curiosity. and seeing the curve of benreys stomach peek out in the mirror makes him hiccup on sweet voice inadvertently

weirdly enough theres a part of him thats both relieved and disappointed that hes never seen that color before

he never envisioned that seeing benrey like this would be a turn-on but like......with that vest and that helmet on he just looks like some kind of fuckin roundish rectangle shape. but now gordons intimately familiar with how his body feels to move around in......what hes gotta look like underneath all that armor and ill-fitting work clothes......and the hornier he gets the stupider he gets

takes off the helmet.......just to test the waters. if somebody manages to bust in, thats not so weird to explain. and hes surprised by the shock of black hair he finds under there. he doesnt know what he was expecting....but honestly, benrey looks, like, kind of nice like that. more like a person

im slightly obsessed with the idea of benrey just not even registering as a Real Guy, physically, to gordon, one that he could possibly be attracted to, until hes out of his work uniform.......like hes more of an icon of a person than anything up until that point. pure signifier. no substance

like......you know......the equivalent of how benreys HL model registers to 99% of people watching the series. sure, thats not necessarily anything youd register as "hot", most likely, but then u peel that away and its like........Oh

the model is the icon and the representation of the icon is the real

and gordon runs a hand thru benreys hair and tries out one of those shitty little smirks benrey likes to use on him and the effect is.......dizzying. is that him? is that what benrey really looks like to him?? he feels fuckin salacious doing this

he can even.........get his face up close to the mirror and really look at those teeth

run his tongue over them experimentally.......feel their sharp edges.......and, no, theyre not sharp like a knife, but they are definitely pointy. and surprisingly well-kept......hes never seen benrey brush his teeth before but clearly he must. theyre so smooth and slick under his fingertips

and then he flushes and drops his hand b/c hes getting some weird fucking thoughts right now........but looking back up at himself in the mirror and seeing benreys face all wide-eyed and red makes the issue worse

oh, you really like seeing him look like that, dont you. and gordons pissed b/c this isnt even his fucking brain but its still whispering the exact same neurotic, self-defeating shit at him that hes trying very hard to tamp down

and then he starts getting a little crazier. taking off the vest. he can explain that, no problem. its just kind of hot. heavy. he needed a breather! its normal. just in here to splash some water on his face and cool down, nothing wrong with that. but that just makes benreys shirt all the easier to access.......and he tugs the hem of it just a little higher and looks at himself in the mirror and runs a thumb over the curve of his stomach, where the hair is thickest, and he shivers

gordon freeman is deeply normal and would never get off to the sight of a guy with arms the size of his head tentatively dragging the hem of his shirt up, just for gordon to look at him closer

hands shaking from nerves as he decides to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning and he sees more and more hair-dusted skin and muscle and fat and a thin sheen of sweat reveal itself

> i could see gordon trying to tense and flex the muscles a bit just because hes normal

HE IS, AND HE WOULD

he doesnt know when "being horny b/c hes been pent up and edged for days and he just needs to get his rocks off real quick so he can be normal again" turned into "being horny b/c the way benrey looks under his uniform is scary good to him" but if he thinks about that too hard hes gonna have a panic attack

tells himself that its all just because he hasnt been able to get off. thats why hes thinking this shit. hell stop thinking it once he nuts

> hey this is a quick aside but yknwo how he talks to himself in third person sometimes? what if he does and then kinda does a mental double take at how his name sounds coming out of benreys mouth, with his voice. ok thats it goodbye

oh ym god thats making me go insane. doing it by accident and then.........saying it again. on purpose. just to hear benreys voice doing it

getting one knee hitched up onto the sink and leaning forward with his arm braced against the mirror and his forehead leaning on his arm and tugging benreys dick (no, idiot, thats your dick right now, stop thinking about it) and tentatively groaning out his own name and it comes out so hoarse and desperate that it punches him straight in the gut (too bad, hes thinking about it, he cant not think about it, not with the way he looks and sounds right now)

> remember in the series when benrey called him gordon one (1) time and he noticed immediately and was like..i think thats the first time youve called me by my name.

he looks so fucked out and slutty in that mirror that it almost makes him pass out

eyes darting like hes trying to commit every single detail of how he looks right now to memory (b/c he is. he fucking is. he wants to make benrey look like this so fucking bad. just for him. wreck him and get him flushed and sweaty and panting and moaning gordons name and jesus christ, okay, thats where his brains taking him. okay. cool)

hes dizzying himself thinking about it. he knows benreys hot for him by this point, theoretically. assuming his weird come-ons werent just jokes. benrey would probably let him do this to him. benrey would probably want him to touch his dick. gordon thinks about how good it might feel for his own hand to be on benreys dick and he cant get himself solidly into one headspace or another - hes gordon, hes benrey, he wants to touch, he wants to be touched, he wants to feel his own hand on this dick (and god, maybe he could. maybe he could ask. wouldnt that be crazy.)

benrey in gordons suit and gordons body and gordons face leaning over him, b/c fuck, he really is tall compared to benrey, hes figured that one out awful quick. and gordons (his) hand on his (benreys) dick and stroking him and leering down at him with those dark, dark eyes that dont even really look like his eyes, anymore, not with the way theyre shaded over, and hearing his (benreys) (his) voice moaning out his (gordons) (definitely gordons) name and all the little "pleases" and "thank yous" that he cant stop letting out b/c benreys voice was made for it, made to beg and whine and ask so nicely, and his heads spinning as he comes all over the fucking mirror and sink

> i wonder if this could be combine with the ideas that parts of the self or like mind is still a bit left behind if that makes sense, like with benrey also wanting this that part of the reason gordon wants to say those things

"do you want to fuck him or do you want to be him?" well my good bitch, perhaps you can have a little of both. welcome to my personal hell

hes never come so hard in his fucking life and the noise that rips out of him when he does, finally, after days of being jerked around (ha ha) makes his ears burn with shame

now if you really wanna go crazy. imagine that benreys up and walking around this whole time b/c being edged by his stupid broken suit is making it impossible for him to sleep, and he hears........all of this. stops and presses himself flat agains tthe wall to listen

he cant actually get into the bathroom to scare the shit out of gordon/offer to join in/etc, b/c this stupid flesh body of gordons cant even noclip, but he can press his ear to the door and. listen. and he can flush all the way down to his chest when he hears gordon in there, moaning out his own name with benreys voice

so thats what gordon wants him to do, huh. thats what hes thinking about.

poor benrey, tho. he gets to experience just a lick of the endless fucking suffering that gordon goes thru every single day just by being alive, and "the HEV suit trying and failing to suck him off to completion while his dick twitches against the hard metal of the interior every time gordon groans in there" is just one small part of it

anyway . see ya. my final message

#asky #writin stuff

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fatcowboys · 7 years

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todayyy is going downhill

#headspace in the fucmin TOILET right now #if u like know me irl don't comment pls idc if u read but #ANYWAY i was ok this morning but i've slowly gotten shittier today!!!! bc last night i had a dream where i was friends again w a person whos #been shit to me and isn't my friend and the whole dream was us being happy and shit and v similar to when we were almost in a relationship #or what the fuck ever was going on at that time #and now i keep thinking about it and it sucks bc we aren't friends anymore and we SHOULDNT be friends anymore or anything #but that dream made me miss having a close friend nearby that i knew ok that level??? or more than friend do whatever idk idk idk #and i feel shitty bc they did some fucky shit that i'm not gonna go into so i shouldn't be their friend but it's making me reflect on good #shit that happened and i just !!!! feel bad and weird and like maybe i overreacted even tho our relationship hasn't been at that level of #good for over two years so the stuff that happened was just the end of a slow downward slope i guess???#and idk i feel shitty!!! and extra shitty bc they probably don't fuckin miss me at all!!#and it's just another big thing im stressed abt bc i go home in three days and i was ready stressed about that but now i'm more stressed bc #what if i see that person idk i'll probably fuckin just freak out and uuuuitirirjejrje #i just feel!! reallly bad right now!!!

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alicentsargent · 6 years

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im 100% not here for tara hate tbh. ppl are comparing her to acting like rosita when its so different. rick and everyone tried to be submissive to negan and rosita was so angry she put their lives at risk, and listen that was bad but if you have any compassion you’d realise it was shitty but she was in a horrible headspace, you think what you would honestly do after that kind of trauma.

and this thing with tara now??? 1. if she was an imitation of rosita’s grief she would have already killed dwight, but she listened to her group and understood for now, its not a good decision.

2. they literally DO have a job this time, and that’s to fight and take out all the saviours. jesus was the one this time calling the shots which does not benefit the group as a whole, just like rosita did.

not to say he’s in the wrong and vice versa. they both have their valid points tbh and you can be pissed at anyone of them. but like… tara doesn’t deserve this massive hate and to be shamed drastically just bc she was only doing what she was supposed to do.

and another 2 things: tara and jesus both were literally just killing ppl left and right, together- so he’s no complete pacifist or anything. idk why ppl are so angry at tara when yall remember how mad everyone was at morgan, his group and fans alike were raging abt how he’s not fit to be in the group anymore bc he’s putting them at risk by not killing their enemies.

and 2!! does anyone remember in late season 6 when they first attacked the saviours for the hilltop and that guy met rick and said he was negan and rick just shot him in the head. yeah, rick never got any hate for that did he… he was just being safe (:

this fandom just hates women so so much why do u guys hate women

#im not even a stan.... cmon #tara chambler #twd spoilers #no hate pls god #just my 1 opinion. i dont like double standards #*

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sofiaruelle · 6 years

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Hey Sofia! I was wondering, have you seen Stranger Things 2 yet If so, what did you think of it? love your art!! xxx

I’m glad you asked!I’m actually about to watch Episode 9 right this moment (on Nov. 8; 9:58am). (And i finished this 5:48pm writing this)

The CGI has gotten better 8)))))))))I LOVE THESE KIDS SO MUCH. They’re so good. Like we already know they’re amazing actors since Season 1. BUT LIKE THEY’RE EVEN MORE AMAZING IN SEASON 2 especially with Will’s and Mike’s PTSD.Ngl, i kind of stopped watching a bit around episode 3…. cause it was such a slowburn that didnt really hold my interest for so long. I mean i’m all about slow burns in stories and the many perspectives is to set up everything for the last few episodes but yeah idk i got distracted by Net juu no Susume.Like i kind of wished they kept up with the DnD running theme that they had in the first Season?? or atleast kept with the Video Game references since they set that up in episode 1 just so everything is more tied up together… if that makes sense? I mean yeah sure they added that in the LAST part but like eh… THE LAST FEW EPSODES THOOOOOOOOO.

fersure i am dying in feelings.spoiler-y feelings under the keep reading (sorry for being all over the place i am not eloquent)

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for the long read. i have feelings.WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLike damn Noah Schnapp his acting is AMAAAAZING. LIKE HOLYYYYYYYSHITTTT. Especially this season everyone is just *EYE EOJIS AT WILL*. and BOOOOOOOOIIII did Noah step uppppp. I love how he’s wide eyed terriffied lamb protect at all costs and then the next he’s a stone cold intense.When Eleven was introduced outside of the Upside down so early into the series, I lowkey wished she stayed longer in the Upside Down cause they built it up in the first season that it takes her a while to recover after she uses her powers. i mean she was getting stronger…. but like you know…. idk. But i kind of liked the flashbacks of her surviving in the forest. And i also appreciate the fact most of the adult she has encountered arent mean to her. They’re always genuinely concerned for her well being and wished her well in her en devours. 8))))))

I like Eleven’s father-daughter relationship with Hopper. He’s relearning to be a dad and she’s learning how to human(?) and find herself. and its cute and they’re gonna be ok. (but i find the Mom files, that she finds, being in the cabin a little too convinent??? like hopper could have kept it in his house? but he also might have moved out to the cabin as well… *SHRUGS*) I’m just happy Hopper has an Arc of his own this season. The episode with her sister was kind of out of place? and kind of loses the urgency in the story and its feels disjointed??? but I also hope she’ll one day reunite with her sister and they’ll patch things up. (season 3!!!!!!!!!!!!)CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT LUCAS AND MAX?????????? THEY’RE SO CUTE. Lucas was really great. Im glad they gave him more screen time and really delved down to his character so he no longer seems like he’s angry 24/7. The glimpsed we get of his home life is such a gem. I love it. especially his sister. WAHAHHAHA I sometimes think Max was added in for the sake of middle school romance and throwing a wrench in the boy’s friendship….. Like i dont hate her perse… i just didnt like how handled her character. Like the time between after she helped out setting the trap in the junk yard; up until the time she stabbed her brother in the throat with morphine…. she was kind of tossed aside. i feel like there was some sort of deleted scene where she figures out how to drive a car ????? idk. I do hope she has a bigger impact next season. LET HER BE BEST FRIENDS WITH EL PLEASE.God Bless, Dustin. My sweet boy. I still cant believe he still has insecurities in his friendships (i cant believe he was fine with being replaced by Max in the party). I teared up when he kept calling out to his friends on the radios and no one was answering him. AND THE THING AT THE DANCE. ugh. that hit close to home. Nancy dancing with him ties up nicely with the first episode when he offers her pizza and she slams the door on his face. (Also i like how this didnt develop with out of place inappropriate pervy jokes at Nancy’s expense like in most movies when the comedic relief get the most beautiful girl in the end)

Also i love his new relationship with Steve. also i want him to be the Disney princess of the Demadogs. (i’ll probs draw that later)

STEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEE. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENTTTTTTT YAAAAAAASSSSSSSS. best baby sitter. best older brother. I wish he had closure with Nancy. Like girl dick move for cheating on him when you guys have ambiguously broken up. idk man. The way they wrote Nancy was disappointing. I dont want to blame it on her PTSD? but i wish she just said something when Steve was assuring her that it was ok. LIKE GIRL DONT JUST LET HIM WALK AWAY. SAY SOMETHING. (whelp there goes my hopes and dreams for a jonathan steve nancy sandwhich *SOBS*) Nancy is a smart cookie and i wish they handled her relationship with Steve and Jonathan better. She was pretty bad ass for grabbing that shot gun tho. Like Hopper didint even question it. and she took it like a master gunsman? marksman? like she was born to wield that gun. Good job on continuity. 8))))))))))))))))))))))))

The Park scene was A+++.That Conspiracy theorist tho………. I was expecting him to be a red herring of sorts? The Vodka… the russian music… It might be him just being vaguely racist in the “If i drink this and listen to this i will get into that Soviet headspace“ kind of sense? But i was expecting him to be a Russian spy and maybe do some damage later on and not just be there to help Nancy and Jonathan realized their attraction and give Barbs her closure. IDK. (and like shouldnt the blue side of the american flag be on the left side when you hang it vertically? or the blue side being on the right mean war or something? idk im not american. please confirm.)Joyce………… man. Also good character development. Cant believe she went from “need to save my boy” to “must protect at all cost cause he a fragile” to “i need to hurt my son in order save him” like damnnn. i was expecting Jonathan to convince his mom to amp up the heat and not the other way around. MY GOD. BOOOOOBBB BOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBB. THE SUPERHERO WE ALL NEED. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHH(I did not expect Samwise to be pretty tall. Also a friend pointed out that he was Sam and i’m just he’s the tallest hobbit). uggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh cant believe he died.Billy………………….Dacre Montgomery he’s so beautifullllllllllll. like his eyelashes are so fucking long and his jawline can cut me like a bitch. he’s a fucking beautiful man. and i am just fucking straight when i see his but goooooooooooooood his character is such a fucking asshole. his lines were amazing. they tried to save his character by showing his shitty dad but i need one big redemption arc before i completely appreciate Billy. For now i will grumpily admire his eyelashes and jawline.ALSO I TEARED UP WHEN WILL SAW ELEVEN THE FIRST TIME IN 353 DAYS. AND I AM JUST SO HAPPY THEY GOT TOGETHER IN THE END. It wasnt too fan service-y (unlike Jonathan and Nancy) and it was just so sweet and right when they finally were together.ACKKKK SORRY FOR THE LONG POST. and the shitty grammar.

#Stranger things #Stranger things season 2 #long ass post #of #opinions and shit #sorry #tv show review

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meowm1x · 7 years

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can i be really honest here for a sec? which uh. is a weird way to start off on a read more personal post bc this is my blog and theres nothing wrong with being honest but i guess im just feeling guilty about a whole lot of things atm in terms of finances and shit ;;;

but like. if it really were up to me, i think i’d just be happy just continuing to work on my art but without going into a career for it right away. i know im not at the mental headspace nor skill level to get into such a competitive industry (animation), but that doesn’t mean i’m not wanting to better myself, just that i realise where i am right now. but thanks to the way the world is, its like...you have to be the best you can be as young as you can be. and like if you don’t do that, nor sell your art, then you’re obviously just not SERIOUS enough. or you do nothing but fanart? clearly just some pathetic loser riding on someone else’s coattails, who cares if you’re doing it because you enjoy creating work based on something that’s very special to you.

idk. right now just the thought of all of it is overwhelming. but then i feel guilty bc my mum tried raising me with a sense of “work ethic” (that she pushed me TOO much to a point where i feel jaded about everything and have been pretty much anti-capitalist for a long while now haha). but its not just her ofc, its society in general. and how you and your work only matter if it’s sellable.

and if it’s not sellable? well then you’ll have to get a REAL job.

and if i’m being honest, that just doesn’t appeal to me either. i tried working while i was studying art. even just working at weekends was enough to burn me out and worsened my depression. my mental illness (and possibly autism, i havent been fully diagnosed yet) make work extremely difficult and tiring. hell, just getting through the day without work is exhausting. it already takes so much self-pep talk to get me to even do art right now because i’ve been made to feel terrible and depressed about it to the point where i want to self harm, sometimes kill myself in extreme cases, when i make any mistakes in my art or am reminded of how unskilled i really am not being able to do this or that. all because of these shitty attitudes about someone’s worth being in how productive they can be.

if i could just. spend the rest of my life, just drawing what i wanted to draw, having time to get my ocd under control, not having to deal with the pressure of throwing myself into work as soon as or even ever, it would honestly take so much off of my shoulders and would probably improve my life overall...

#ramblings #personal

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pop-punklouis · 7 years

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so i decided to come to you with my burden of guilt because i feel (part one)like none of my friends care anymore and i need to get it off my chest or i'll go insane. so ive been going to an upgrading school to finish my highschool courses this year and my mom thinks that ive been going everyday because i tell her i do and i only have one course left but ive only gone twice and the school year finishes soon and theres no way im going to finish math, and my mom hates lying and since

“part 2)I haven’t been going to school ive been sitting around depressed because i’ve gone through some horrible stuff the last few months and I just can’t bring myself to go to school. If my mom knows I didn’t go to school at all, i dont know what she’d do, and I haven’t been sleeping at all because of the guilt and what would happen if i told her. Also I have court tomorrow because I got into a car accident and didn’t have my licence and my mom thinks I saved money to pay for the 700$ ticket

(part 3) but I have no money left and I cant find a job anywhere. I’m so stressed out about it I’ve just been laying in bed stressing and i have no idea what to do. not only that but none of my friends seem to care anymore, they all ignore me and i feel so alone and helpless. the reason i’m so depressed and im making shitty decisions is because last year in october my boyfriend killed himself infront of me and everyone expects me to be fine now, but im not and idk how to talk about it.

(part 4) im not necessarily looking for advice or anything i just needed to get it off my chest because its driving me insane. thanks for listening, I hope you have a good day. you’re the only person i felt like i could share this with so it means a lot.”

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I…. really don’t know what to say to this? I’m so sorry you have that much on you’re plate, but I just don’t know what to say? I would suggest talking to your mom. I know you’ve kept things from her and that a lot of it will put you at odds with her, but she seems like she could help you with dealing with all of this if you tried to open up to her about the whole situation? I wish I could offer something more, but that’s the only thing I can suggest, babe. Maybe look for some help regarding your depression? you have a lot weighing on you, and you don’t need to continuously keep that to yourself- it’ll build up like it has right now. I hope things get better. I do.

((also as a PSA to everyone, and i’m not directing this specifically at you grey, but sending me asks like this put so much weight and responsibility on my shoulders and every time I feel helpless because there’s nothing i can DO to physically help, and it causes me anxiety to open these messages and try to come back with a reply that can help or give comfort and more times than not it’s difficult which puts more pressure on me, and I’m just not in the headspace often to read these kind of messages. I don’t WANT to turn you guys away, but more times than not i have no idea what to say back and i’m just a girl in her 20’s on her blog. i’m just like you guys and it’s frustrating because sometimes i feel like i’m just a dumping ground for problems and advice and i don’t mind that because i love you guys and i really do try to care as much as i can, but i truly can’t do these kinds of messages anymore, and i don’t want anyone to take offense to this but i’d rather you not send them to me often because i can’t handle them at the capacity that i get them. hope you understand))

#grey

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