#idk it makes me uncomfortable while listening to the book reviews

[loverfighter]

well. i think i’ve finally pinpointed the Thing abt chapter 2 that really digs under my skin / makes me uncomfortable to look at too closely (not the character execution of half the losers which is major and probably reason numero uno why chapter 2 does not live up to the book nor first movie and i Will go on abt later but i’m waiting to finish my reread to do so) and it’s essentially that eddie and richie are almost.... forced apart for a lot of it. in chapter 1 we have so many moments, countless looks and gestures and dialogue to point at and say look! there! that’s why they’re in love! where the impact these characters have on each other holds weight and they’re so deeply intertwined to the degree of siamese twins, one never without the other, never farther than a thought or heartbeat away (physically touching in one way or another anytime they can, a beacon through the walks of hell). it’s clear, on both ends, that whatever love they hold for each other is profound and heavy and embedded six feet deep into each other’s souls, transversing across memory, distance, time. even in the background of a scene in which the main focus is ten feet away, highlighted in red and grasping at your attention, you can spot eddieandrichie⏤together, inseparable, linked. 

with chapter 2, this dynamic is hinted upon, and given to us through flashes, but never through scenes alone (prior to neibolt) or actual context. in fact, the scenes we Do have in which their magnetic pull towards each other is allowed narrative (hammock, eddie taking off the shower cap, eddie looking away smiling after richie’s “what the fuck does that mean”, going into the photo booth separated from the rest + eddie pulling richie in, eduardo! andale, them expressing constant agreement w each other through gestures, all of the jade of the orient stuff, etc) was courtesy of the actors and not the script or (likely) direction. bill even said that He was the one who had to push the clarity of richie’s sexuality, to clearly express that he’s gay (“““movie canon”””), while andy and the rest thought vague would be the best route to go in fear of audience reaction. and even then! it’s not as forward as it should’ve or could’ve been (considering they pulled eddie’s canon death scene w the love confession + more emotional moments between them in that setting + the supposed kiss), and oh! not to mention stripping eddie of his own homosexuality and giving richie the bowers storyline, which was the scene that cemented his sexuality in the movie, making it clear that the crew knew the dynamic and context of the interactions between eddie and bowers. 

the point remains that all of the “official” reddie scenes are... kinda out of nowhere? we are given spare information, but lacking any context, leaving the general audience with no way to complete the puzzle with a dozen missing pieces. during the flashback, we see richie carving r+e on the kissing bridge, set after the events of the arcade, and obviously the e stands for eddie, but that’s it! nothing before or during that flashback gives the average watcher any information besides that, and the ones of us who are invested have little satisfaction from that moment alone, when we’ve been building it up and expecting an actual storyline, rather than 5 secs in a minute long flashback clip (that is to say, the r+e is one of my fav reddie scenes, but maybe they shouldn’t have teased it in the trailers if that was all it was gonna be?). 

richie is the one to calm eddie down, snatch away his inhaler bc it’s meaningless physically and damaging psychologically, and tell him “you’re braver than you think.” but why is it that richie is able to get through to him when no one else can or bothers to, why richie, why does he understand what eddie needs to hear, why does eddie listen and take it to heart, especially when richie is the one emphasized to have a crush on eddie and not vice versa? they’re important to each other (on a deeper level than they individually are with the rest of the losers), it’s clear based on that scene, but that’s what it’s left at, with no scenes or dialogue previous to that moment propping it up, other than the r+e, which doesn’t account for eddie’s reaction. and then, they’re together when they face the doors, parallel to benverly who are shouting their love at each other. again, this is telling us something, which is less surprising based off of the inhaler scene 5 mins prior, but then it swiftly plummets to eddie essentially sacrificing himself / saving richie. again: why? 

to me, it’s obvious. to y’all, it’s obvious. we all know well enough, right. but susan in the seat next to me doesn’t, nor do her two friends, or even my friends (getting new ones) or the majority of people who came out of that theatre. they walked out of there and didn’t understand the relationship as requited bc they weren’t given the context and love and soul of reddie. and i think what upsets me most about that is that i can’t just brush it off as them not understanding the nuance or depth of a stupid clown film (if it was the stupid clown book, sure, or even the first stupid clown film but) bc it was done on purpose. they were afraid of negative responses to the lgbt storyline (and god forbid there’d be two of them in their precious big studio film), and so they strangled the heart out of reddie. and because reddie became canon (or richie’s crush became canon), they had to tone down the “gayness” of their relationship, because now the audience would have a new perception of what they were to one another, and no longer have the cushion to brush it off as a “brotherly relationship” (sorry finn). take bill and mike for example! objectively, they were probably “gayer” than reddie, because they were allowed to touch, to show affection, to say i love you. but of course they can’t be gay, bc bill has a wife and they don’t see mike as enough of a person to give him anything good. 

it’s like. what they (production) Have given us is flashes of moments that they are barely responsible for and bury ur gays (fantastic rep), wherein the sexuality of the character that actually dies is kept vague so that the record breaking number of people that went to see their film (who frankly don’t even care) won’t think the film is too gay. like. LMFAO it’s so dumb and frustrating bc on one hand we’re valid for clocking reddie but on the other we’re Too Wild for thinking that it’s a requited love story. like yes, i’m grateful that richie’s sexuality (re his attraction to men; i think he’s bi, movie canon leans toward gay but whatever) is canon, that the wretched grief he felt at losing the love of his life was Shown if only to paint how deep the emotion he felt went, that r+e is forever carved into history. but that’s hand in hand w me being upset over eddie’s character and sexuality being sidelined, at the graphic depiction of gay men being murdered with no full circle moment as it Should Have Been, at having to defend reddie as canon bc some cowards in the editing room couldn’t handle the negative reviews of a few bigots at the expense of their invested and loyal and passionate audience who care abt this story and the characters within it. 

idk. anyway. this is the result of me going crazy so don’t pay it much mind but. imagine how fucking tired i am

#this is my ansel moment

[a-crimson-lion]

A Rant About Katsuki Bakugo

[Katsuki-stans and the like, you should probably steer clear from this.]

[Also, spoilers.]

Before we start, I want to make something clear: you are allowed to have your own opinions. You like Katsuki? Great! You disagree with my post or parts of it? That's fine! You can have your opinions and interpretations, and I can have mine. That's completely okay! Again, if these types of posts make you uncomfortable, feel free to leave. It's as simple as that. These are just my personal observations; you don't have to take them to heart! These types of arguments are... touchy, I'll admit, but they don't have to be a hell-scape. You got that? Good. Now then...

...let's begin.

P.S. Long Post. You've been warned...

I'll start by saying that Katsuki Bakugo never really appealed to me when I got into the series. I'll admit that I've only gotten to Season 3 in the anime (waiting on Season 4) and I've read up to the end of the Shie Hassaki arc in the manga (I have also had the burden of being bombarded with manga spoilets, but eh, c'est la vie). With that said, I still haven't come to like Katsuki. Telling Izuku to kill himself in episode one has only guaranteed that he'll never be far up on my favorite character lists. I will admit that he is definitely NOT the same character he was at the start, but even then, when compared to fellow classmates and other characters, his growth is miniscule. I get that it won't be an immediate overnight change for Katsuki, but when he's compared to characters like Tenya and Shoto, it's clear that his progression as a character really isn't all that. There are a few things that bother me with just his character in general, but let's start with this:

Handling Katsuki's actions and the consequences

One of the many arguments for Katsuki's character is as follows: "Yeah, he hasn't been explicitly punished for his actions, but the narrative makes sure to punish him with karma!" I used to believe this too, and I actually thought it was helping him develop into a better character. Except, it hasn't. 'Cause Katsuki has barely learned anything from those experiences other than "I'm weak," which is another problem for later. Let's review:

The Sludge Villain Incident. Katsuki gets caught and fails to escape, Izuku tries saving Katsuki, All Might ends up saving them both. Izuku gets scolded by the pros for his "reckless actions" (even though they didn't do anything, the lack of a proper quirk is no excuse) while Katsuki gets praise, which he blatantly ignores because he's pissed at Izuku. He then proceeds to follow Izuku home and tell him that he didn't need saving, even though he likely would have died or have been captured by the sludge villain had no one intervened. And before you tell me that Katsuki stopped bothering Izuku for a while, that wasn't because he recognized that Izuku did something right, it was because Katsuki was busy sulking at the fact that he's only getting noticed by being a victim, which he hates, and he proceeds to direct that anger towards himself. Once again, the only message he gets from this is that he's weak, even though most people are, in one way or another.

The Battle Trail. After Katsuki loses the Battle Trail to Izuku, he proceeds to nearly have a panic attack before getting a small pep talk from All Might and later Izuku. He isn't rectified for nearly KILLING, and if not that then nearly SEVERELY INJURING, another student. Katsuki didn't cooperate with his partner, which was the point of the exercise, and instead decided to do his own thing, which ultimately helped bring about their team's downfall. Again, he recieves no punishment beyond nearly losing his cool and self-loathing. All Might's justification for continuing the Trial is also kinda wack (THE BOY USED HIS HIGHLY DESTRUCTIVE FIREARM AGAINST ANOTHER STUDENT AFTER BEING TOLD NOT TO). Then, instead of a proper punishment, All Might tries comforting him, and Izuku even tries telling him about One for All (though arguably he'd be fine not knowing about it, and he hasn't told anyone else). Katsuki's takeaway from the entire thing is that he'll get stronger and surpass his classmates, which in some cases is admirable, but in this case, it's downright egotistical. No one can be the best at everything, not even All Might.

The Sports Festival, pre-tournament. Katsuki is pissed when he gets 3rd in the obstacle course. Katsuki yells like a disgruntled toddler when his team gets 2nd place (even though that means he gets to advance).

The Sports Festival, Round One. Remember that whole karma argument? Well, that goes out the window when Katsuki just makes a bigger explosion to counter Ochako's well thought out plan in order to win the match. I get it, not every plan you'll ever come up with will always succeed in the face of adversity, but where the hell did that big explosion come from any way? Shoto curb-stomped Hanta in an earlier match, but he was pissed at Endeavor, and he even apologizes afterwards. Izuku broke out of Hitoshi's mind control because One for All isn't exactly a by the book quirk. Katsuki... just creates a bigger explosion because he's strong? Really? IDK guys, it just doesn't carry the same weight as the first two examples. Also, yes Katsuki was pushing close to his limit, but that never comes up again in the rest of the Sports Festival or even the manga until he and Izuku are going up against All Might. His "weaknesses" aren't treated on the same scale as his fellow classmates, which, in the series' case, should be on equal footing.

The Sports Festival, Final Round. Katsuki basically wore down Eijiro in the second match (which is what Ochako almost did but of course Horikoshi can't give Katsuki some proper reprocussions), and then because his quirk produces light, Katsuki easily deals with Fumikage in the third match. He then proceeds to beat Shoto in the final round, and loses his shit. Now, I might be able to kind of understand where Katsuki is coming from, had it not been for the glaring fact that Katsuki listened in on Shoto's Tragic Backstory(TM). He knows that Shoto has difficulties using his fire side, but the second he uses it against Izuku, suddenly all Katsuki can think about is how he wants to beat Shoto at full strength, even though Shoto's situation is not an overnight issue. Katsuki doesn't see this however. He thinks Shoto is mocking him, which is simply not the case, but Katsuki is too self-centered to care. He ends up winning the festival, but he feels like he doesn't earn it just because Shoto couldn't get past his daddy issues just yet. When you put it like that, Katsuki just looks downright petty.

Sports Festival Finale. This is where most people tend to take Katsuki's side, but I have my counterarguments about the issue. Did Katsuki have the right to be mad? Arguably yes, but he could have simply sucked up his anger and waited until after the Festival was done to lash out, and we all know he didn't do that. Midnight had to knock him out just so he could get his hands off of Shoto. Should the teachers have restrained Katsuki like they did? Arguably no, but remember, this is a super-powered society. Maybe someone could have held Katsuki back if there weren't quirks, but Katsuki has freaking grenades for hands, and he has no qualms about blowing up Shoto simply because he didn't come at him with full strength. So restraining him, while unsightly, was probably one of the few ways to keep Katsuki from going apeshit at the Festival, considering the circumstances and Katsuki's behavior.

Katsuki's Internship. Best Jeanist is one of the few characters in the series to note Katsuki's less than ideal behavior. He gets a lot of flack for it , though, because how dare someone hurt the precious explodo-boy! Oh yeah, defend the kid with a massive ego and noticeable anger issues that go beyond comic relief. Besides, what did Jeanist exactly do besides this? Ruin Katsuki's hairdo? Make him wear jeans? Give him actually compotent advice on how heroes should act and interact with the public? The first one I might get, but other than that, Jeanist deserves no hate. To make matters worse, Katsuki learned nothing from his internship! Which segues perfectly into our next point...

Racing Assessment Post-Internships. Once the kiddos get back from their internships, All Might has them do another hero exercise, and the rest of the class gets to see how Izuku has improved. My problem with this is that they immediately compared his improvement to Katsuki's style. I personally don't see it, and I'll admit that Izuku probably borrowed fundamental bits of Katsuki's strategy, but all in all, Izuku came up with Full Cowl on his own. It shouldn't be linked directly to Katsuki the way it is in the series. We also get a nice quick monolouge from Katsuki about how he wasted his time during his internship, even though that was Katsuki's fault! Geez, what an ego...

Final Exams. I won't sugar coat it: Katsuki gets his ass handed to him by All Might. He comes out of that experience with injuries, but you know what? So does Izuku. And if I remember correctly, Katsuki was the only one who wasn't initially willing to cooperate. By God, Katsuki smacked Izuku with his gauntlet just because he was trying to talk. Even though getting through the escape gate is considered a legitimate way to pass the exam, Katsuki is too engrossed with beating All Might (THE NUMBER ONE HERO) to see that, and actually contemplated losing just because he was working with Izuku and refused to accept his help. It took Izuku decking Katsuki in the face for him to start remotely cooperating with his teammate. Izuku was the real MVP in all of this. And what does Katsuki get for his actions? He just passes. No talk afterwards. No reprimanding for his refusal to cooperate. No remidal lessons at camp. Nothing to help better Katsuki. What's worse is the reason for pairing up Izuku with Katsuki. Look, I get that the teachers don't know about their past, but Katsuki doesn't get along well with anyone in the class, except maybe Eijiro, and even that relationship is flimsy! Izuku would be willing to work with anyone, even with Katsuki. So what's the friggin' point!? Just pair Katsuki and Izuku with literally anyone else in the class besides each other! Maybe then he'd learn a thing or two about teamwork, yeesh...

Deku vs Kacchan 2. The Training Camp Ambush happens. The Provisional License Exam happens. Katsuki is not treated well through either, and he ultimately takes his growing frustrations out on Izuku. Now, I was glad that Katsuki didn't pass solely because he didn't approach the later part of the exam with what would be considered a hero's attitude. But then his fight with Izuku happens. It ends, and they both get punished, but Katsuki also learns about OFA, which I personally believes is unnecessary since there are virtually multiple candidates who deserve to learn about it more, and it actually does nothing for Katsuki as a character, but that's a discussion for another day. What really gets me going is on how Katsuki is portrayed during the fight. If you've seen the anime or read the manga, you know the scene where he asks Izuku why he was the reason for All Might's end. I'll admit, it actually got to me the first time through; Katsuki actually appeared human to me. But I think @itsclydebitches said it best in their own post analyzing Katsuki, which you can read here. Here's an excerpt:

"Now let’s make something clear: Bakugo obviously has feelings beyond anger and disdain. Of course he does. I’m not arguing that he’s a sociopath and like I mentioned back during the sludge incident, you can be scared and upset and still be a terrible person. So many people read this scene and immediately jumped on the ‘hug Bakugo’ bandwagon. The poor baby! He’s been blaming himself for All Might’s retirement this whole time!

Is that awful? Does it need to be addressed? Yes. However, you know who else is carrying misplaced guilt? 

Literally everyone else in 1-A. 

Izuku also blames himself for All Might’s retirement. We get a whole internal monologue on how if he hadn’t crushed his arms again he might have reached Bakugo in time and then none of this would have happened. Todoroki and Shoji also blame themselves for not reaching Bakugo in time. Tsu blames herself for not stopping her friends from walking into danger. It’s implied that other kids blame themselves for not tagging along. Everyone wonders what else they could have done to change things. 

I could go on. The point is, misplaced guilt is horrible but it doesn’t make Bakugo special. It’s not a free pass to excuse his behavior, especially when this all just happened. All Might’s retirement has no bearing on everything that came before that. When Tsu felt guilty about her roll in all this she called everyone together to speak with them. Bakugo drags Izuku out to try and pummel him. Everyone is suffering in one way or another, but only one of these kids is dealing with that by hurting others."

When put into perspective, Katsuki's guilt is nothing special, nor is it an excuse. Eijiro felt guilty when Katsuki was kidnapped. Tsuyu felt guilty for reprimanding her friends for wanting to save Katsuki. Hell, if we go back to the Two Heroes movie, Izuku is shown to feel guilty about the fact that All Might's quirk is fading and David Shield doesn't know because he was never told about One for All. The list goes on, but I think we've covered most of the bases.

Plus, even after that entire fight, Katsuki proceeds to regress back to his initial behavior before and during the Shie Hassaikai arc. He doesn't want anyone getting ahead of him, so he expresses glee when the work studies might be cancelled. He wines and covers his ears like a toddler when he hears about Izuku getting ahead of him. Sure, he has a few soft moments, but they seem to be "one step forward, two steps back" sort of deals. They signify his character development, sure, but again, compared to others, it isn't much.

Well, I just finished covering why even the narrative hasn't properly handled Katsuki. Now let's move on to:

The Faulty Relationship Between Katsuki and Izuku

Now, their entire dynamic is arguably hot garbage, but I'll specifically be discussing the relationship between Katsuki and Izuku when it comes to being heroes: "Save to win, win to save" and all that stuff that happened after Deku vs. Kacchan 2.

Let me just start of by saying that Katsuki has done virtually nothing to understand this logic, at least during the beginning. While I will admit that Izuku and Katsuki's initial goals of saving and winning (respectively) are on point, in both their actions and some of their representation in the story (Katsuki only getting villain points, Izuku only getting rescue points), their development from that point is unfortunately unequal.

The thing is, Izuku has been actively working at winning part of being a hero. That's where the problem starts: if Izuku has been trying to learn how to win, Katsuki has learned virtually nothing on how to save. We can see this as early as the Entrance Exam Arc.

Let's look at the chronology of things from Izuku's perspective. He manages to pass the exam in resuce points by saving Ochako (save). He learns to slightly control his quirk during the ball toss, and manages to stay in U.A. even though he was dead last on the rankings (win). He manages to win the Battle Trial, albeit succumbing to his own injuries (win). Izuku is just trying to save people left and right during the USJ incident (save). Izuku dominates the Sports Festival Obstacle Course (win). Izuku helps his teammates during the cavalry battle, who in turn help him and the team advance to the tournament (win/save). Izuku manages to beat Hitoshi Shinsou (win). Izuku convinces Shoto to use his fire, and proceeds to lose the match (save). Izuku learns Full Cowl, allowing him to stop breaking his bones and use OFA more effectively (win/save). Izuku and company take on the Hero Killer (win/save). Izuku helps Katsuki pass the Final Exam by going back for him and dragging him out of the escape gate (win/save). Izuku manages to beat Muscular in order to save Kota (win/save). Izuku devises a plan to help save Katsuki, and later on helps encourage All Might (win/save). Izuku learns Shoot Style to ease the strain on his arms (win/save). Izuku passes the entire Provisional License Exam (win/save).

This is all before Deku vs Kacchan 2. Now, let's look at Katsuki's record:

Dominates the exam and gets first place by gaining 77 villain points (win). Gets thrid place in the Quirk Apprehension Test (win/loss(?)). Loses the Battle Trial while also refusing to cooperate with his teammate (loss). Tries blowing up Kurogiri even though Thirteen already had it covered; later on manages to corner Kurogiri just so the villains have nowhere to run (win/loss(?)). Comes in 3rd during the Sports Festival Obstacle Course (win/loss(?)). Barely knows his teammates and proceeds to act on his own interest while ordering his teammates around with a very small amount od human decency (win). Gets second place in the Cavalry Battle (win/loss(?)). Dominates in the tournament bracket, but is not satisfied with the final battle (win/loss(?)). Learns virtually nothing during his internship out of spite (loss). Refuses to cooperate with Izuku during the Final Exam, only passes because Izuku saves him (win/loss(?)). Refuses to head back to camp during a villain attack after being instructed to do so, ultimately gets captured (loss). Gets saved from the villains by his friends (win/indirect save). Learns AP Shot technique and its Auto Cannon variant (win). Passes the first half of the Provisional License Exam (win). Fails the second half due to his lack of concern for the "victims" (loss).

Which brings us back to Deku vs Kacchan 2. From what I presented above, it looks like Izuku is already dedicated to learning how to win. The problem is that Katsuki isn't learning how to save. That's probably because he's still learning how to lose. He's terrible at it, but Izuku has experience with losing because up until U.A., that's all he's been doing in the eyes of society. A loss doesn't bother Izuku unless he feels like he could have won/saved whatever his priority was at the time, like when Katsuki was kidnapped. Often when Izuku wins, it's tied with saving something. When Katsuki loses, it's either an offhanded win or just a straight up loss. That's something Katsuki isn't used to, and something the narrative hasn't managed to ammend. Mostly because Katsuki often wins more than he should if he wanted to get a better worldview, but that's only part of the problem.

As I said in a previous post, Katsuki's initial focus is solely on winning. Izuku's initial focus is solely on saving.

In Izuku's case, he also has the benefit of being open minded. If you tell him, "You have to win if you want to save," Izuku will understand that. Heck, most of his battles are often initiated because he wants to save something! Katsuki's winner mentality, however, isn't as open-ended. He wants to be the number one, end of story. No one can be stronger than him, and he'll get pissed at anyone who's "weaker" than him for whatever reason. Even if you tell him, "You have to save if you want to win," Katsuki won't fully understand that unless saving means winning Number One. That's the disconnect. Izuku will save in order to win anything. Katsuki will only win if the saving gets him to number one.

Izuku has possible standards. Katsuki's standards aren't possible, even for him.

Well, that's all I got for tonight. This post took a while, but I feel like I did good on my part. Before I completely sign off, let me leave you with this:

I honestly hope that Katsuki improves. But the thing is, I want to be shown that, not TOLD. I don't need Izuku or Class 1-A or Eraserhead or even All Might him-freaking-self telling me "Yeah, Katsuki's great!" and then proceed to see him still acting like a passive-aggressive (and sometimes flat out aggressive) asshole. I don't want him to be "soft" one moment for character development and then proceed to see him act like his usual jerkish self several moments later. I want to see Katsuki's improvement with my own two eyeballs, and for him to stick to it. I want him to progress, even in spurts, with virtually no regression. I want people to acknowledge his development, yes, but they shouldn't have to state or overstate it so many times that it feels fake. I want him to finally come to the conclusion that Winning Isn't Everything, and take that to heart.

When that happens, then I won't hate Katsuki. I might not like him significantly more, but I will have more respect for him. Until then, I'll just be here, enjoying the other parts of My Hero Academia that actually keep me invested in the story, like the protagonist, Izuku.

That's all from me. Have a good day/afternoon/evening, everyone.

-Crimson Lion (7 August 2019)

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugou #anti bakugo #anti bakugou #character analysis #discussion #meta #rant #vent #long post #late night post

[an-avid-reader]

Prodigy (Legend #2) - Marie Lu

my rating: 4/5 stars

Synopsis of book 1 -

In a world where the Patriots, Colonies, and the Republic are at odds and there’s a plague in the poorer parts of the US, Day is an unstoppable street criminal with good intentions. When his family’s house gets marked by Republic soldiers, Day’s only thought is to steal a cure before his family member dies. June is a top student at Drake University—a prodigy. When her brother, Metias, gets caught in a cross-fire during a mission, June is fast-tracked to becoming a soldier. Her first mission: track down Day. As Day and June come from such opposite backgrounds, is it possible that their paths would’ve crossed otherwise? 

Link to Goodreads // Link to review book 1 // Spoilers (book 1+book2) in review below!

I haven’t read a trilogy in what feels like a really long time lmao; I think it’s because I’ve noticed that sometimes, the second book acts like a bridge book aka nothing really happens except for the last 50ish pages, which tbh just sets up book 3 (It’s like that one useless episode in a tv show that literally has nothing to do with the plotline). I’m VERY happy this wasn’t the case for Prodigy - if anything, there was even more action and more character (and world building) than Legend, which I much appreciated. That means that I also have a lot to unpack; buckle up!

I feel like the most natural place to start is from the stuff I didn’t really enjoy from the first book, specifically the world building and all the questions. It was finally explained that the Republic is essentially nonsense propaganda and the civilians are being fed false information--they aren’t winning the war, in fact they are losing! We also learned that the Colonies and the Patriots are two separate uh ‘groups’? And the Colonies fund the Patriots, but the Colonies are straight up left in the dark (and the Patriots were also hired by the Republic, but more on that later). I wanted to also briefly mention that when June and Day crossed into the Colonies territory, it was like a completely different world--maybe not better, just different. We also kind of get a glimpse into the history of the world--how climate change just absolutely obliterated the whole world. Which, tbh, I feel like if an ice cap near Antarctica (or Antarctica itself) were to melt, it would be more than just the edges of the US that would be underwater--it would go up to the Statue of Liberty’s torch :)))))))). Nevertheless, I really appreciated these explanations as it added more depth and also provided context for the setting, which I found was lacking in the first book (which, I get, you don’t want to overwhelm readers, esp in YA, with all the world building right away).

The other thing is that I wanted to know more about the plague, and Lu came through!!! So the plague is being used to try to create people as bioweapons, which makes me wonder if they were trying to clone those who were infected (or maybe just wanted to collect everyone who has a similar profile to Eden). I still have a few questions of the virus--like why did Eden and that other boy on the train go blind? Does the virus affect them on a genomic level?! I also find it hilarious that in LA they were quarantined for rioting--I feel like that pretty much just showed how weak the Republic is and how their power is no longer ominous (idk if that makes sense??).

Next, I want to touch on the characters and the character building (specifically June and Day, but others too!). I wanted to start off by prefacing that I’m not a fan of the love triangle vibes that we got throughout the books (and to be honest, the ending sort of pushed that narrative a bit further, which is not cool :///). So I’m not sure if it was Razor’s plan to cut communication between Day and June (on purpose) to prevent them from messing up the Patriot’s plans/to prevent Anden from becoming suspicious of June, but I found it so FRUSTRATING that they couldn’t communicate at least once before the assination (and I mean talk, not the signal bc that stirred up a lot of confusion with Day). Their separation really tested their relationship, but I also feel like there was a permanent wedge placed due to the lack of trust, and again, the ending just hammered that home. I will say, I really appreciate June and Day being completely transparent with each other when they escaped from the Patriots and got in the cave. It was like a necessary evil, but at least they shared relevant information with each other, which I believe strengthened their partnership, even if it took a toll on their relationship. Part of me hopes that they end up back together in Champion, but I know that it may not be ‘what’s best for them’, especially with that huge piece of information we learned about Day--that’s the one thing I’m mad about. They spill the beans in the cave but he can’t even tell June that he’s dying, instead he breaks up with her and then they end up kissing?? AH!

Now for those…...love triangles…. .-. Let’s start off with Anden and June. I’m not sure how I feel about Anden; Lu paints him to be this kind of heartthrob and well-intentioned guy but he’s also sort of naive? Like I get that his whole plan is to reform the Republic with the help of June and Day so that the civilians are on board, but I hope he realizes that there will always be people who are going to 1) resist him and 2) betray him. I really hope he isn’t as quick to trust people as he was with June (which maybe that was because his judgement was clouded). As for being naive...how did he not see June’s paperclip ring???? And to add onto that - how did the Colonies not realize that ‘Sarah’ is actually June???

I don’t know it just seems very unlikely that he didn’t see it considering that June was fiddling with it during their nice little dinner. And also the fact that he was always itching to see her. I didn’t realize, however, that Anden is only in his early twenties—he also lacks the edge that June and Day have, you can tell that he’s a poised person. While it’s great that he stands his ground on the Republic, I find it hard to believe that he isn’t a pushover (even just a tiny bit). Thus, I don’t really see how Anden and June could be a good match; I also don’t think class should play a role into whether or not you should or shouldn’t be with someone.

That sort of brings me to another point, which is the idea of the Priceps and the Elector itself. I have so many questions about Anden's plans, and they mainly involve him. For example, would there still be an Elector (and Senate) after the Republic is reformed? If so, would his powers be minimized, or would he have the status of President? For Priceps, it wasn’t very clear in the book that she doesn’t have to be married to the Elector, but it almost seemed that it was implied; could Anden have chosen to be married and have a separate Priceps? What if the Elector wasn’t straight? So. Many. Questions!! That whole Priceps thing is one of the reasons I couldn’t give this book a full 5 stars, again, it sort of has to do with the lack of information (or the amount of assumptions I have to make).

The next love triangle I have major issues with is Tess and Day, which Day is mostly uh turned off by the whole thing (which I can get behind) but Tess is just so stubborn and tbh pretty jealous, which isn’t cute. I really hope that in Champion they end up reconnecting, especially since Day is practically on his deathbed, but as friends. Maybe Tess will understand where Day is coming from with his feelings about June. Part of me wants Tess to end up with Baxter but I also really don’t like him?????? Agh this really sucks! I wish their relationship didn’t end on such a sour note. Like yes Tess, you were always there for Day (especially when he needed medical care) and ever since they got into contact with June (or rather, when June was sent on her mission), everything went downhill—but I mean, at some point Anden’s father would’ve passed, and maybe things would turn out to be in a similar circumstance, except instead of June it could be a different girl? The fact that Day still calls Tess ‘cousin’ and she still went ahead and kissed him just made me feel slightly uncomfortable?? No, they’re not biologically related, but given the amount of time they spent together, they almost could’ve been. To some extent, I feel like Tess had a huge crush on Day, but she never wanted to admit it until they were separated bc she maybe didn’t realize how much he means to her/she wanted that cheesy movie-like feeling where the two best friends realize that they are perfect together but beyond friends?? I do believe that Tess deserves someone great though, I just don’t think that Day is the guy for that :///

The last relationship-thing I want to briefly mention is Thomas and Metias’ relationship. I’m glad that we have some LGBT+ representation here, but at the same time, I can’t help but wonder if it was forced or not (like a checkbox Lu wanted to tick). I don’t remember in Legend when Thomas kissed June, if there was a kind of repulsion/it didn’t feel authentic. To be honest, I really thought that Thomas was into June, but when we learn he is gay (or maybe bi), it just didn’t seem to fit the story at all??? Upon this revelation, June racked her brain for memories of Thomas and Metias when they were young and oh it just happens that Metias never ‘brought back’ anyone/any girls home. Listen, I’m all for diversity, whether that be the character’s race, gender identity and/or sexual preference, I just don’t want it to come off as the author just ‘checking off a box’; I’d rather it be genuine (even though it’s a fictional story!) For all I know, Lu may have planned this, but to me it just came off as an afterthought, that’s all :/ (and @ Thomas, just because you love someone and it shouldn’t be allowed bc of your ranks, it doesn’t mean you have to kill them even if CoMmAnDeR JaMeSoN said to).

I wanted to also talk about characters—more specifically Razor, Commander Jameson, Baxter, and Kaede (rip). So um I guess we’ll start with Razor aka the biggest con man there ever was. Well tbh I kind of found him fishy, just like June did from the get-go, I just didn’t think it was going to be that…bad??? This goes back to Lu’s foreshadowing—which I would say it improved as I wasn’t able to fully guess what was going to happen—she drops p obvious hints left, right, and centre, you just don’t see them until the events unfold; what may seem like a small detail (i.e. Commander Jameson in Razor’s room on the ship and Day (as a disguise) bumping into her) will end up being part of a bigger plan, so to speak. Part of me wishes we had a peek into his mind to see what he thinks like, and if he has more motives, besides just being “hired” by the Senate to assassinate Anden, maybe Razor has a personal vendetta?? I also definitely suspect that Razor and Commander Jameson may or may not be a thing *side eyes*. I’m excited to read Champion to see how he will stand up against the Elector / the Republic, and whether the other Patriots will stand by his side or if they will turn against Razor--especially because right now he’s in jail, but I doubt he will stay there for long! (which can someone explain why Razor and Commander Jameson only got charged with treason??? They almost flipped the Republic on its head). 

Speaking of Patriots...there’s Baxter, which I don’t know where he stands. I think he’s definitely jealous of Day / the fact that Tess has feelings for Day even though he doesn’t reciprocate them. Just a dash of jealousy. But he did predict that Day would betray the Patriots, which makes me think that Baxter may have a part in an uprising, but maybe there’s a chance that he’ll see the whole story. Part of me also highly doubts that he’ll be rational; he seems to be someone with a heavy confirmation bias--I wonder if he knew that Razor was hired by the Senate or if it just went over his head. What if he’s the main villain in Champion o.O him + Tess would be interesting, especially Day does a last hurrah. But anyways, Baxter was just so arrogant, and I could feel Day’s own disappointment when he did exactly what Baxter had predicted. Yeap, there’s definitely going to be some tension that needs to be revisited. 

Last and certainly not least, Kaede :( I’m a bit annoyed that she’s dead. It’s yet again another thing that could be used against Day (specifically his relationship with June; anything that comes near them dies). We got to learn so much from Kaede, and before we knew it, she got shot. It sucks because I think she seemed like a reasonable person and she always remained level-headed. She’s not one to judge quickly *cough cough Baxter cough cough*. Even in Legend she had her kick-ass moments, but she really saved them from the Colonies and how June and Day can’t really repay her unless they keep on going with their mission. Not cool to just kill her off like that though. 

What I loved from this book, besides the character growth and the depth of their relationships with each other (especially on trust, or the therelackof), I liked how this book is just action-packed. I find with the second book in trilogies, we have a plan with a clear end goal (in this case, assassinate the Elector), and that plan just gets adjusted over time as we uncover information until it gets to the end of the book. Here, that main event ended up being smack bang in the middle, which isn’t something we see very often. It left more room for the story to develop and to allow us to really dig deep into the story, which I much appreciated. At some parts, it almost felt like a rush, especially as the story unfolds and with so many characters to consider--it was a page turner! I’m not really sure if I enjoyed Prodigy more than book 1, as I mentioned, I didn’t really like the love triangles and then Anden is just too naive for me to take him seriously. There were also some cliches (I let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding), and honestly, I was not a fan of the ending! I think that’s the main reason why I can’t rate this higher than Legend to be honest. At least with the first book, there was enough closure that could give us a starting point for book 2. Here is was...let’s break up lmao jk also I’m not going to let June know that I’m dying, peace out. 

This review is getting a bit too long lol, and I’m sure there’s something I forgot to mention, but overall I really enjoyed this book. The action, the intensity, the revelation of information and Lu’s foreshadowing make Prodigy a book that’s hard to put down. The characters’ dynamics are all over the place, which just adds to the chaos, but in a good way--it makes the story that much more interesting. I’m patiently waiting for book 3 from overdrive, so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to read and review it by next week--I’m itching to know what happens next! [Please, let both of our main characters live  p l e a s e]

I’d love to know your thoughts and opinions on Prodigy! Did you enjoy this book, how would you compare it with the rest of the trilogy? Let’s chat =D

Thank you for reading my review, I hope you are having a good day, wherever you are in the world!

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader

#just one more ~ queue #prodigy #marie lu #book review #books #booklr #reading #bookworm #legend #trilogy

[oddeyecadia]

what if it’s us? (ch. 3)

a/n: two chapters in one day? miracles do happen.

also posted on ao3 | ch.1 ch.2

"Alright. Make yourself at home. But don't touch too much shit." Said Pidge as she and Lance entered her apartment.

He roamed his eyes around. The living room was nice, green pillows took half the space of the sofa, a red blanket covered the seat as if somebody had just slept there. The kitchen was surprisingly neat except for a small mountain of dishes in the sink, the fridge had owl and hippo magnets on it, and there was also a random peanut butter jar on the counter. All in all, the place looked... like a normal college student's apartment. Or college students rather, for he noticed there were two rooms.

Careful not put too much weight on his left foot, he walked towards the sofa and said. "Nice place you got here. You got a roommate?"

"Yeah. He's not here, though." She said as she dropped her bag, sat down on said sofa and removed her shoes, keeping her socks on.

His constant smile faded. "Oh. Is he your–?"

By now, she was already used to people asking about her and Keith's relationship– thanks to the nosy people in high school –that Lance didn't even need to complete his sentence for her to understand. "We're not fucking if that's what you're thinking."

"It still amazes me how innocent looking yet vulgar you are." Was that a sigh of relief she just heard? "But okay."

Weird.

He then spoke again. "So, videogame or movie?"

___

Intense music from the tv filled the living room, along with the sound of Lance's hand dipping in the popcorn bowl between them, trying to find the cheesiest ones and putting it in his mouth. Clacking of keys mixed in with the noise as Pidge worked on google docs to try and finish a script for a group video presentation. The glow of her laptop bounced eerily from her spectacles.

She worked on a group video presentation. Without any of her group mates present or online.

Shutting her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath.

Group projects were Pidge's worst enemies. This one in particular was just terrible. She didn't knew anyone in that class so she just got grouped with two other random girls. The two hadn't even contacted her since the project was announced. Pidge made a group chat but she only received an idk as a response from one of them when she asked what they wanted to do. You want something done? You gotta do it yourself. She thought as she leaned her face closer to her laptop, typing aggressively.

Stress began conquering her mind as she tried her hardest not to think about all her unfinished papers and lessons that she hadn't reviewed yet. She felt like crying but she needed to finish this script at least, so she continued.

So focused on her work, the brunette didn't even heard the movie pause.

Lance's eyes lingered on her with concern. Just by looking at her, he could clearly tell that she was one stressful project away from ripping her hair out. He could also tell that his deep sigh took a bit of her attention for her typing suddenly slowed.

"20 minutes into the movie and you're already on your laptop? Seriously, Pidge?"

"Don't worry, I've already seen it." She said without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Still." He pouted. Another sigh and he moved the bowl of popcorn aside to scooch next to her. He felt her stiffened so he moved away a little to give her space. "You promised not to do any studying or school work."

"I didn't promise anything. Now, shush and just continue watching."

"You know your brain will work faster if you let it rest, trust me I'm a nursing student."

She only let out a lazy hum as a response.

He crossed his arms. "Am I bothering you?"

"Oh, nooo." She answered sarcastically, still not taking her eyes away from her laptop.

"I'll stop bothering you if you beat me at mario kart?"

Her fingers paused. Bingo.

"What? You scared?" Lance said in a smug tone. "I mean I don't blame you. I'm a mario kart pro, no one has ever beaten me."

Shutting her laptop, she gave him an incredibly intense look, a look that could intimidate even the toughest human alive. "Bet."

___

Both Pidge and Lance were competitive as hell. Losing was worst than death for the two.

They were on their seventh round when Lance, out of nowhere, started to ask Pidge random questions. From very simple ones like "So, what's your dream career?" to odd ones like "Would you rather see the future or the past?" She answered all of them without losing her focus on the race.

Pidge had already won four out of six rounds –so much for being a pro, lance– and he was eager to get his revenge. She knew he was trying to distract her. Too bad for him, he was playing against a multitasker, someone who could talk and play at the same time, and someone who wasn't easily distract–

"Anything interesting you can share about your soulmate?"

She almost lost her grip on her controller and accidentally turned the wrong way. "Argh!"

The round ended in favor of Lance. "Aww, yeah!" Said winner proudly pumped his fist in the air. "Another win for Lancey Lance!"

"That's cheating! You were trying to distract me!"

"Nobody said you can't have healthy conversations with your opponent while playing?"

Opening her mouth, nothing came out so she closed it bitterly. She tried once again and finally said "Two can play at that game."

It was clear that when they started a new round, it wasn't only about winning anymore, it was about the one who could ask the most distracting question that would lead the other to their utter defeat. It was a battle for double victory.

Pidge started off easy. "What's your biggest insecurity?" Aiming for the emotions, good strategy. She praised, internally giving herself a pat on the back.

This question didn't seem to bother Lance at all though. "The fact that I'm like, the weakest link in everything." He answered too casually, like it was no big deal, like he had already tried to tell himself that it wasn't true but had been proven wrong a million times.

The atmosphere grew a little tense. "Weakest link in mario kart, I could agree." Her response made him snort at least.

"Don't get too cocky, Katarina." She didn't need to look off the screen to know that he was giving her his signature sweet smile, happy to be able to tease her using her own name once again.

Pidge fought a grin. A month ago, If she heard anyone calling her by her real name, she would've had been extremely uncomfortable for she wasn't really used to being called "Katarina" outside of home anymore.

Katarina "Katie" Holt was that one kid in kindergarten who preferred to read superhero comics than fairytale books, Katie was that one nerd who built her first computer in elementary, Katie was the bullied girl in middle school, Katie was the anti social weirdo that everyone– except for one other particular anti social hothead –avoided in high school.

"Katarina" was a beautiful name, but it carried a lot of ugly memories.

Then, as cheesy as it was, Lance came into her life and slowly replaced those memories with better ones. Lance talked to Katarina, he made efforts just to befriend Katarina, he was still in the process of breaking her walls, and it was obvious that he was trying his best as if she woudl be worth all the hard work. Now, whenever she would hear her name, she wouldn't just remember the harsh voice of her bullies using it to intimidate her. Instead, she'd remember Lance and his ten thousand smiles.

Lance was a great friend.

Perhaps having him as a soulmate wasn't so bad, she realized. Perhaps she needed to tell him about that too.

"Okay. Um..." Her thoughts were interrupted by him speaking as his character threw a blue shell at hers. "What's your biggest fear?

Pidge's character was still on the lead when she responded. "Are you expecting a deep, poetic answer or something like the devil from Fantasia? Cus that shit is scary."

"I know right? That scene gave me nightmares as a child. But hey, a more poetic answer would be nice. Though, you don't have to tell me personal stuff if you're uncomfortable."

"Hmm. My biggest fear..." For a moment, she hesitated. Tiny, callused hands started sweating as the thought that she was about to open up to someone that wasn't Matt or Keith finally sunk in. "Disappointment, probably." She answered anyway for by now she already knew very well that Lance wasn't the type of person that would take advantage or make fun of someone's vulnerability.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I'm scared of disappointing people." She shrugged. "I don't know, I just... I hate letting people down. It sucks so bad to know when I made a person, especially if it's someone I care about, unhappy or unsatisfied because of something that I did, didn't do, failed to do, have, or didn't have. It sucks even more when I can't do anything about it. " Her hands loosen their grip on her controller as the game ended with victory on her side. Nobody seemed to care about that anymore. Lance's eyes and ears were on her, patiently waiting for her to elaborate.

Hugging her knees, careful not to hurt her left foot, she took a deep breath. "Y'know like... Like when I was in elementary during p.e class, we'd play dodgeball and the teacher would split the class into two teams, everyone on my team's mood would always drop when they'd see lil ol weakling me on their group like... like their disappointed that I'm with them. It's both humiliating and frustrating. Same with failing an exam or getting a low grade. It's like trying my best but it's still not enough... Like I'm not enough." Taking a deep breath, she let some of the tension on her chest loose. Pidge gave him a glance and noticed how he was still carefully listening, his eyes urging her to continue. "Maybe I'm just scared of disappointment because I rarely experience being one, or making one feel like that towards me."

There was a pause. A heavy yet comfortable pause. She kept her eyes on the floor, hugging her knees tighter as she felt the boy beside him take a deep breath as well.

"Wow. I asked you one question and it's like you just read to me your whole autobiography." Said Lance in his obvious trying to lighten up the mood tone.

"Should I regret doing that?" She looked at him and wasn't even surprised to see that he was smiling at her so fondly, so genuine that it made her heart race.

"No. You can trust me." He responded, low and serious. She already trusted him but the way he said it just made her trust him even more.

"I know."

Another short pause. Pidge let go of her knees and crossed her legs slowly, injured foot on top of the other, while Lance placed the controller he didn't notice he was still holding beside him on the couch. "That's why you're so eager to finish all your projects on time and review til you drop huh? Afraid to disappoint?"

"My family and myself, yeah. If I was a fictional character, my character description would be just one big 'smartass' in all caps. I can't lose that title."

"You're more than just a genius, Pidge. You don't have to stress yourself out everytime just to get a 'smartass' level grade. It's nice to aim for a perfect score in all of the exams or projects and all that, but pushing yourself too hard won't help you to achieve that. Again, sometimes the brain needs to rest in order to work properly." His hand ruffled her already messy hair as if to emphasize his point. She found the gesture to be really nice. However, it seemed like "personal space" was clearly non-existent in Lance's vocabulary. Minutes ago, he was sitting at the other end of the couch and now their shoulders were touching. "Trust me, I've been there. I wasn't as laid back as I am now when I started college. Now, it's my turn to do an IRL version of a draw my life video so listen."

She couldn't help but let out a light laugh. Lance liked that sound, he thought. "You see, my siblings are actually the ones paying my tuitions, I help of course. Although, we can't afford some of the textbooks, it still means a lot since they worked really hard just for me to be able to go to my dream university. Education is really important in my family and I just got very lucky to be the youngest child and the only child who got the chance to go to college. I don't want to waste all of their hard work, so I really want to graduate, I have to."

"That's... A lot of pressure."

"Yeah. I used to let that pressure get to me like all the time. I studied too much than necessary, never took a break when doing projects, pushed myself too hard, I didn't even had time for myself." A sad smile formed on his lips, memories from his stressful freshmen year of college flashing through his mind. "Then, one time I just passed out in the middle of dance practice because of lack of sleep and nutrients. After that I learned my lesson. I started taking breaks from all the school stuff when I needed to, hanged out with my friends, made time for myself, had fun. Cause having fun is another way to rest, y'know? You don't think too much, you forget all about the stress. It's perfect."

A familiar warmth bloomed in Pidge's chest when hit with a realization. "That's why you wanted to hangout today huh?" She chuckled fondly.

Lance's eyes widened like he was caught kissing a Harry Styles poster. Tints of pink appeared on his face, a compliment to his dark skin. The fact that he was blushing because of her made her face heat up too. Now there were two awkward tomatoes in her living room. "Y-Yeah. I mean you obviously needed a break so..."

It took him by surprise when Pidge gave him a smile. A soft, precious, genuine smile.

Her eyes smiled too, and he wasn't sure if they were just shiny or if there were glossy tears forming in them, but they were beautiful. She was beautiful. "Thanks, Lance." She said and his heart melted.

He returned a smile. "I got you, Pidge."

Lance really was a great friend. She thought.

Having Lance as a soulmate was probably a blessing.

There was silence. Her heart pounded hard on her chest as she touched her injured foot– well, their injured foot technically –that was still covered by her socks. He deserves to know.

"By the way–" He started.

"Can I tell you a secret?" The two said at the same time.

Foot in her mouth, she chuckled. "You go first."

"Yeah, okay." He cleared his throat. "Since our friendship have evolved, I think it's okay for us to have soulmate talks now, right? Also, I just can't keep it in anymore, I need to talk about this."

Her breathing slowed, palms sweating so hard, ready to replace Niagra falls. "Right. Y-You found out who your soulmate is or something?"

"Yes, but don't tell anyone yet, cause I'm still not a hundred percent sure but I think–" He fought a grin like he was trying his best to keep his cool. She fought her heart from beating louder than it should.

"I think Allura's my soulmate."

#i was drunk when i wrote this #grammatically drunk #satri writes #plance #pidgance #pance #flirtyrobot #fanfic #soulmate au

[theangry-ace]

R18 drama cd short review

I actually wrote this with other aro and/or aces in mind, but then again I never met or talked to another non-sex repulsed aces and I don’t know if they do this type of p0rn. so this is just a short review from a new fan for new fans who just need a title to start. I tried not to be too spoilerific.

you can sampled everything from airavalky.

nobody asked but here’s part 2. part 1 is here.

Hatsukare ecchi [finished, maybe] story: 4/5 icha icha; 4/5 review: story is pretty cute. younger type guy. theme is sharing all the first times with this dude.

Hetare dakedo Suki na Kare [finished] story; 5/5 icha icha; 4/5 review; abt a passive/low self esteem office worker guy and his web designer girl who is quite the opposite of him, personality-wise. the whole story is sweet imo since the girl never forced the bf to 'man up' or some shit but rather let him has his time and pace and give encouragement whenever necessary. i'm all about this positive relationship. plus points for tetrapot<3

Honnou no kajitsu [finished, maybe] story: 4 / 5 icha icha: so much sex / 5 review: concept is someone ate a fruit and personality got a 180 degree change. story is interesting... if you can get over the sex in every tracklist. buckle up! vol.1 (sawa manaka) = storywise this is the best. guy started as a selfish asshole who treats his girl like a toy. he ate a mystery apple and changed for the better in the end. vol.2 = a friend with benefit between a office worker and her boss. not much story here i think but guy started as a bully then after mystery fruit he wanted to be the one bullied? vol.3 = this is a 3P. a drunk/drugged type. i dont do much 3P to compare but this one has anal if that's your concern. i'm not comfortable at how kinda forceful/not sober this one is. vol.4 (aoi yuuma) = can't really catch what is their relationship together but it started out nice and ero but after track 5, fucked up twist happen. you can already guess what it is at this point. dude also mentioned about the mystery fruits but i can't quite catch if it's his creation or not.

In the room [finished] story: 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 review: i never expected to cry to a porn but i did. i would never have expected such a sad story from a drama cd's cover art so generic. def give this a try if you want story. it started out strangely direct with the sexing but later you learned that the guy is desperate for a good reason. chasuke really did a convincing acting i cried for him. the story is about a girl asked to come to a mansion to meet a guy. she has no memory of him but somehow he knows everything there is about her.

Incubus lullaby [finished, maybe] story; 4/5 icha icha: 4/5 review: well i like it. kinda need a sequel though. basically abt a girl dumped by her bf so suddenly and a strange man approached her and they had a one night stand. the guy kept finding her later and revealed to be an incubus. dont quite catch the why he chose her though.

Inma [finished, maybe] story; 1/5 icha icha: only sex and more / 5 (bonus 3P) review: interesting concept of two polar opposites character voiced by one actor, but my brain got fucked halfway it kinda made me uncomfortable. if you just need the porn and not really the story, here is a good choice. trigger warning, some might passed over the rape borderline.

Kannou shousetsuka [finished, maybe] story; 3/5 icha icha; 4/5 review; there's two volumes that i can find and my current level of japanese can't really tell if they're continuation of one another or independent to its plot. both is abt the same guy, an erotic novelist, and a girl i assume his girlfriend and his work's fan who is also the muse. he'd ask her to play out a scene he wanted to get the surreal image for his writing or something. one volume is abt outdoor sex while the other is bondage. the bondage one ends pretty badly since he went overboard and scarred her. always have a safeword, kids.

Kangoku [finished] story: 3/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: when i see tetrapot i just instantly believed i would like it. but then this is not the type of story i am comfortable to enjoy. story is about a town/city conquered i think and girls got snatched up to be made sex slave at prison... i think. our guy is supposed to be the 'nice' ones bc he said unlike other guys he dont hit and injure his pets. good to hear that, dude, you want a cookie? anyway there's another plot going on that lead to our guy murdering his superior but by then i lost my interest completely.

Kare pillow story; too many volumes to rate but as general 4/5 icha icha: too many volumes to rate but as general 4/5 review: a pretty big series and there's lots of good voices and the story is pretty good too. first volume is car sex. i have no idea that's a thing. also this is where i got into Hirai. he very moany but voice is very sweet.

Kare to soine de shitai koto zenbu story: 3/5 icha icha: 4/5 review: just sex in bed but with various voices to meet your likings. kinda sweet.

Kimi no te de iyashite [finished] story: 4/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: aww it's about a guy, played by domon, taking care of his girlfriend who got hurt from a fall down the stairs at work i think. the sex right at the end which is rather unnecessary at that point imo.

Kioku no fiance [finished] story; 5/5 icha icha; 4/5 review; storywise is very good. the girl was to marry a first born of a family but he died before they do. so the most logical thing is to let her marry the younger brother instead??? the younger brother has personal problems in living in his brother's shadow. together though they got through everything and i dont ask much more than this for a happy ending.

Koakumakei danshi [finished] story; 3 / 5 icha icha: 4/5 review; the type of character i like sawa mannaka to play as. a kouhai from school with a liking to tease the girl. sawa fits best as playful toshishita in my book. basically abt a guy who found his crush back in school drinking alone, then later... well you know what comes next. what ~ always ~ comes next after a love confession lol.

Koibito vs nijigen story: 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 review; repeat after me, if you want lol in ur drama cd, pls find one with murano. this one i'm pretty sure has a second volume but the one i have with murano is basically abt a guy whose gf is a fujoshi and he tried his best trying to imitate her fav 2D bf to make her like him better. made me think that i really really want to buy all of murano's work.

Koibito miman [finished, maybe] story; 4/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: i think the theme is how a couple was born. yuuki (asagi yuu) - this was the first time i got to know asagi and he's very calming. it's about two ppl who never got their feelings honestly conveyed, their friends had to lie to them abt their group trip to a ryoukan, just so they have the privacy and time alone together. saeki - they're osanajimi but with a large age gap between them. dude was very worried when he noticed he no longer sees the girl as a little sister he needs to protect and more like a woman he wanted as a wife. tachibana (sawa manaka) - guy is a very cheerful and tease a lot but he actually has feelings for his senpai from part time work. he'd go through a fucking typhoon to make sure the girl will be okay since she lived alone and had stepped on broken glass when the electricity cuts off. he is best dude bc he gives girl her own time to think abt what to feel abt him.

Kyokugen joutai [finished] story: in spaaaaceee / 5 icha icha: zero gravity sex / 5 review; interesting concept but kinda fell flat halfway. i think we started in a colony or something in space but something blew up so the guy and the girl ran to an emergency pod and drifted in space. zero gravity sex later, some spaceship did came to pick them up but weirdly can only take one of them. guy wanted for the girl to go but she refused so they drifted again. i haven’t actually got to the last track (got disinterested at this point) so idk if they survive or not.

Kyuuketsuki night parade [finished, maybe] story: 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 review: ok. i like the concept of vampires now (fuck you senbura) and this is a very good series. pls do more. please make more vampire shitttttt. anyway, there’s a ball in a mansion and some ppl would find themselves in there unconsciously. it was actually how the vampires lured human into their realm to find a mate. vol.1 = a very cheery guy who's very happy to find out the girl is a vampire and offered to be her mate. i like this one best but it does gets to you when he talks about how he had friends and family and wanted to tell them abt everything even after the girl kept saying he can't ever get out of the vampire's world anymore. did he want to stay or not?? vol.2 = ...honestly this one is not that interesting I barely remembers anything. I’ll give it another chance later. vol.3 = this is the deepest voice i've listened to. guy is actually a vampire hunter who at first planned to murder every vampires in the mansion bc of his vengeance of his entire family's death.

#drama cd hell #reviews #drama cd #someone please help me from this fandom

[ontologicalsynaesthesia]

I finished the Hugo-nominated novels!  They were all really good this year, which is great, but makes voting a lot harder.  I’m still not sure how to order 1 and 2.

1 & 2: Death’s End by Liu Cixin ...

I can’t really judge this outside the context of the rest of the trilogy.  Taken as a whole, this trilogy is... I can’t even come up with an accurate adjective.  The story is a fractal, which you as the reader zoom out from at an exponentially increasing rate, but you never lose sight of the fact that the complexity and the repeating patterns and the tragedy and banality still go down to the level you started at, and beyond.  (And this is a metaphor used within the series itself, which I think is demonstrative of what I’m [poorly] trying to convey.)  Epic, world--spanning tragedy and quiet, seemingly tangential anecdotes from characters’ lives are equally moving.  I don’t really want to give any specifics, because I loved reading this having no idea what direction the series was going to go in next, and it’s hard to see the big picture until you’ve reached the end. I wish I had the language and cultural context to read the original, because I’m sure I would get even more out of it.

... and Too Like the Lightning by Ada Palmer

Similarly, I have a hard time judging this without including the second book (although I still haven’t finished the last 30 pages of that one because it was in a messenger bag I lost...), and I read it about a year ago, so it’s not very fresh.  But I’ve found this series continually thought-provoking, compelling, and disturbing/uncomfortable in a good way.  I keep finding myself thinking about it, long after I read the first book.  It’s dense, but the very complex future society is explained at just the right pace to keep you enough abreast of what’s going on, while still having to do some mental legwork yourself.  It is Idea SF, but still deeply emotional.  The narrator is strange, sometimes difficult to understand, sometimes sympathetic, sometimes terrible, and probably unreliable.  This one makes me wish I was proficient in Enlightenment philosophy, because I suspect I would get even more out of it that way.

3: A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers

As opposed to Obelisk Gate (see below), this book really shone in comparison to its predecessor.  The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet kind of lost me because of the sheer number of characters. It’s a series of relatively disconnected character interactions that usually show character development or feel-good moments (insert essay about fanfiction-influenced literature here), but there were so many characters that I felt like none of them got enough screentime, and some of their moments of development had so little build-up that they were sort of jarring (the romance in particular).

But ACCaCO took that structure and style and winnowed it down to two characters, whose time-separated stories often paralleled each other, and it worked extremely well.  The book had a feeling of direction that the first one didn’t, and it felt like we were along for the whole ride to see these characters come into themselves instead of just peeking into their lives occasionally for contextless moments.  I read this book in two days and felt a real loss that I wouldn’t get to hang out with the characters anymore once I finished.

4: All the Birds in the Sky by Charlie Jane Anders

I’m not super sure what to say about this one.  It was very well-written, but not super to my taste - I could appreciate that it was a Good book, but I didn’t respond emotionally as much as most people seemed to.  I did not like the romance at all (surprising no one, but my default reaction to romance in fiction is “mild boredom and exasperation”, whereas here I actively disliked it.  Please let a male and female protagonist have a close platonic relationship in any book ever?  Holy shit?  These guys were great as awkward best buds but had no romantic chemistry?)  I listened to it on audio, which I think did it a favor - I read some reviews that complained that the dialogue felt weird and stilted, but the reader made it work very well.  I liked the somewhat cartoonified nature of both the science and the magic, and I was impressed that it didn’t interfere with the book’s ability to get serious when it really wanted to.

5: The Obelisk Gate by N. K. Jemisin

This suffers in the rankings largely because it was a disappointment compared to The Fifth Season.  I read them both in quick succession, and The Fifth Season is amazing.  Absolutely worthy of the Hugo it won.  Atmospheric, creative, heartbreaking, very well and intricately crafted in a way I kept feeling like I should slow down to appreciate, but had trouble doing because I wanted to know what would happen next so much.  Obelisk Gate, however, is very much a middle book of a trilogy.  It felt a lot more directionless than the first book, and I wound up feeling like not very much actually happened in it, except some exposition and setup for the final book.  The atmosphere and sense of a solid, real world also weren’t really there the way they were in the first book.  I’m still looking forward to the last book, though, as a weak second book in a trilogy isn’t uncommon.

6: Ninfox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee

This one might suffer in its placement because I read it much less recently, but *shrug*.  I did enjoy it, but grimdark military SF has never been my thing, and in particular the (what felt like) endless succession of chapters where we’d get introduced to a character just in time to see them die in some horrible new way in combat got very boring very quickly.  None of the other books had a section I disliked or got bored with to that level, so it was enough to push this one to last.  I really like the idea of the calendrical technology, but sometimes the tech felt so arcane and disconnected from anything I could understand that it gave me trouble immersing. Idk, I’ve liked Yoon Ha Lee’s short fiction more in the past, and I think in general his speculative ideas are so high level and abstract that they might work better in shorter form.

#os talks about books #now I have two weeks to read the novellas #that should be pretty doable

[nerdyskeleton]

ALL of the author asks

all right, you anonymous rogue, let’s do this. under the read more for length. I’m answering this instead of doing my accounting homework mua ha ha. But thanks in advance for asking for these it made me feel really nice and it was so fun!!!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Ah I mean not really? I have a bunch of ideas bouncing around, but I don’t have the time or the energy to sit down and start another multichap really. Still recovering from the last one haha. Plus I need to have the main story planned out before I start writing, as well as most of the big details, so I don’t want to start something without knowing where I want to ehh vaguely end up.

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

oh my god. Everything that’s on ff.net. I wrote SUCH garbage from like 13-16(?) it’s just all such a disaster. But there’s quite a few multichaps there that are complete so I’m proud of little me completing those haha. But it’s all SO cringe-worthy.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

(lol “““““book”““““) I do write from beginning to end! Sometimes if there’s a scene I suddenly have a really good idea for I will sit down and get most of it out, or at least jot down some notes for what I want to happen. But I try to write in the order of the story so that I can update consistently! And I try really hard to write ahead, like I didn’t start posting School Daze until I had a few chapters as back up, so I could work on the future ones as I updated weekly, like a bad ass.

4) favorite character you’ve written

I LOVE writing Trucy. She’s one of my favorite characters in the whole AA series - she’s just so fun and lovely. Plus it’s fine to like write a regular person instead of prissy ass Edgeworth or Blackquill.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

I mean I personally never expected to go as hard with Blackmadhi as I did and in such a short time span either!! I’ve written 80k of Blackmadhi in 2 months like girl can you cool it for a minute? Also I didn’t like Blackquill AT ALL while playing DD so the fact that I’m such a thirsty bitch for him is surprising to me. Here we are though.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

tbh I don’t tell anyone really! Well, not people who are already confirmed dorks like me. Mostly because I don’t want to get into the “oh what do you write?” conversation hahaha. “uh…..gay lawyer fanfic?”

8) favorite genre to write

Hmm…….I mean I’ll go for angst and hurt/comfort all day long, because there’s nothing more satisfying to me when I do something terrible to the characters, everyone gets mad at me for it, and then I fix it later on with a happy little scene of pure love and compassion between the characters.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Hm. I’ll normally put on some Disney music, because that has been my go-to inspiring music for a very long time. Sometimes I’ll go back and reread some parts of whatever I have written recently to be like “Look! You actually like this part! Write more so you can keep feeling this way!” Or I’ll read the last bits of the last update to remember where I was even going with the plot line LMAO

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I like to write with music! It has to be very specific music though. Being with people who are also writing/being productive helps, so then I feel obligated to get stuff done too haha.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

??? man I have no clue. I guess I’m pretty good with like……not sweating the little stuff. If I feel like I don’t have much sentence variation in one paragraph, I leave it, because it’s okay. Not everything has to be poetic (literally NOTHING I write is poetic). I feel like I make up for it later on with a paragraph with better flow. I hope. Idk these things, friends.

12) your weaknesses as an author

I guess like……descriptions?? Both like physical background descriptions like where they are, because I feel like knowing the scenery can be pretty important. but also like facial and behavioral descriptions too? Like sometimes I’m too lazy to find the exact word I want so I just pick a generic one and move on. I love getting things done, so sometimes the quality isn’t what it could be because I just like finishing things hahaha.

13) your strengths as an author

I’m pretty good with writing things out the way I want them the first time, because if I’m going to write I want it to be right (hehe). Obviously I go back and edit things to tweak it, but if I’m sitting down to write something, I don’t want to half-ass it and come back to it later. I HATE finally finishing some huge ass 12k chapter and then remembering I left a scene unfinished because then that means I’m NOT DONE AHHH.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Not really! Mostly because I can never just like listen to whatever music I want. I listened to Hozier for a month straight as I finished up School Daze because for some reason that smooth hipster really did it for me.

15) why did you start writing?

Who knows man!! But it’s fun!! I got super into a book series called Skulduggery Pleasant like it was my first HARDCORE FANDOM that I wrote for. My ff.net is under the same name if anyone wants so suffer through it. Let me know if you do because it’s all disgusting and I want to laugh about it. But ALSO it’s all really problematic so please don’t judge 13 year old me okay thanks.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

LMAO WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

oh man…..keep on sticking with it man. I’m glad you are writing (even if present me thinks it’s god awful) because you made so many friends and really learned a lot, actually. Good on you for doing what you want to do. Maybe also stop thinking of yourself as the greatest fanfic writer of all time I mean just maybe, girl.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Yeah, Skulduggery Pleasant again! The author, Derek Landy, writes so sarcastically and I guess kind of simple (not like bad simple haha). I would just crack up every few minutes reading the series so I wanted to be that funny author with clever little deadpan lines like him. idk if I succeeded haha.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I have a separate document where everything is planned out. Well, not everything, but the majority of stuff. For School Daze, I always wanted to have the next two chapters planned out from where I was currently. I just always gotta know where I’m headed so I don’t get anything mixed up or forget anything.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

It depends! Both usually just depending on the time. I write for a looong time on weekends like a loser with nothing else to do, but if I have like twenty minutes to kill between stuff I’ll think up some lines or finish planning out a scene.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

I literally cannot stop laughing at it. I guess it’s not BAD like my grammar was always good and I tried really hard but just like…….I know I thought I was the fanfic SHIT back then so I’m just like “Laura like how could you ever let other people see this???? it makes no sense!!!!!!”

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

I guess kind of the usual suspects…..No non-con, incest, underage stuff. I don’t write it, so I’m never uncomfortable with it!

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Hmm not really?? Not too obscure, but I took a looong break from writing mostly because I fell out of that Skulduggery Pleasant fandom and I got super depressed in high school. So now that I’m way better, I really enjoy writing again because I remembered the old feelings of being SO happy when I got a review on ff.net. Makes me feel 13 again, which is actually pretty regrettable.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Ah not really! I don’t write too much stuff that needs expertise (and also tbh I haven’t written that much like idk what I’m doing here) but also I’m just a lazy shit and will look up the minimum required information for what I need to get done hahaha.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of“Meaning, Miles concluded, that she expressed a very high level of care and compassion for nearly everything in her life. Soon, her thousands of questions in class made sense, because she just wanted to understand the information to the highest degree. And now that Miles was witnessing nearly a private glimpse into the art teacher’s collage project, he saw the same level of attention that Trucy bestowed on her own projects in Phoenix, as well.With this knowledge, Miles assumed, logically, that Phoenix had been the one to impart this trait into her. And from their date, he now knew the man had taken her in unexpectedly and still managed to raise her right.Phoenix Wright was clearly not only an amazing father and art teacher, but also a wonderfully kind, considerate, and determined individual. How could Miles not be drawn physically and mentally to the man?” I really liked this paragraph, because this was a part of the first time that I had written as Miles Edgeworth and had taken a very long chunk of time to go into some gay-ass introspection. Thought it turned out pretty well???

#asks #this was fun!!!