#idk it'd just feel weird totally going from one thing to another

[otakween]

Digimon Tamers: Battle of Adventurers

Eh...gotta be honest, I found this pretty underwhelming. It had its moments, don't get me wrong, but the plot felt pretty generic and the ending was rushed. Still had fun, but the emotional investment was lacking.

Notes:

Reddit told me to watch this after episode 18, so I got the timing a little off, but I felt like it'd be good to watch prior to the digiworld episodes. The only timeline wonkiness is that this takes place before Culumon's kidnapping, which I've already seen, but that's fine.

In another moment of ~fate~ the movie begins with Guilmon dying of heat (not literally lol) and it was "feels like 101" where I am today so...can relate.

I was a pretty sheltered kid, so IDK how I would react to my parents making me travel by myself at 10...not that I'm against that, I just know 10 year old me woulda been a big crybaby about it.

Kinda weird that they gave us 2 title screens for this, one of which was just ripped from the TV show. The whole vibe was kind of a mixed bag in this, sometimes the animation felt pretty much the same quality as the show and sometimes it felt like they were stepping it up, not super consistent.

"Battle of Adventurers" is a pretty uninspired title. I feel like they could have either put something about Okinawa or the v-pet virus in the title instead so it would stand out a bit more...

Speaking of the V-Pet, I thought it was super charming with its crappy CGI lol. I totally would have fell for it in 2001. Kinda hard to believe that literally everyone downloaded it though (doctors, pilots, etc.) Or was it more like that one U2 album that was automatically distributed to everyone?

Guilmon begging to get out of the suitcase was stressful! How did he not suffocate? D: (do digimon even need to breathe?)

They really did the movie-only character (Minami) dirty this time. She had to be re-traumatized about her dead dog so many times! Just felt cruel...

All of the Okinawa cultural stuff was fun, especially the Okinawa-inspired digimon. If Digimon Go was a thing, you know they'd be region specific.

When Ruki's mom was like "oh, it's so comfortable flying on the plane!" I was like "okay, rich." That's the only explanation because flying economy is always a bad time.

Although a lot of the character animation was kinda meh, the battle animation is where this movie really shined. It was like little pockets of hype and there was a really good variety of enemy digimon. I was especially excited to see Anomalocarimon cuz it's been a minute and there was a lot of attention to detail with his bit.

Siesamon's design was really pretty, but I don't like his resting angry face. I wish they would have made his face more emotive because it kind of diminished some emotional moments...

There was one scene where it showed some buildings blowing up (because of the virus) and one of them suspiciously looked like a power plant...hopefully I'm wrong cuz oof...

Loved Mephismon's design, but with Gulfmon they did that thing that they did with VenomVamdemon where he has a second face by his crotch area...don't like that (although he is a centaur, so not technically his crotch)

There were some legit scary moments in this! The car crash scene was pretty violent and Minami screaming as she ran from the lasers also felt pretty intense for a kid's movie. (I haven't peeked at the dub yet, wondering if anything was cut)

I thought the final battle was weak as heck. Phase 1 took like 2 seconds and then phase 2 just felt kinda arbitrary like we were going through the motions. We did get a new attack though (trinity something or other). It felt kind of weird for them to just show that without any acknowledgement, but oh well. I'm sure it'll come back at some point. I was a little disappointed tbh because I thought they were doing some sort of 3-way jogress fusion

The shot with 3D MegaloGrowmon and 2D Rapidmon and Taomon was a glorious 2000s moment

IDK why but it gave me Power Rangers vibes

Yeah so this felt pretty disposable, they tried to kind of tie things to Digimon Adventure with Omegamon and Apocalymon, but the connection was pretty vague and forced. I rather Tamers just be separate without the callbacks

While I'm a big fan of short runtimes, I do wonder if this one could have benefitted from being a little longer, just to let things breath more

#Digimon Tamers: Battle of Adventurers #digimon tamers #digimon #movie

[yesloulou]

Ill be honest. Idk if I am making sense here but I find Daniel’s attitude and overall lack of comprehension toward the intended - subtle or not - misogyny that he’s around a MAJOR ICK!

I’m thinking of the European 🐱comment, this book etc. Daniel doesn’t come out with anything but a laugh and stunned silence instead of “hey look, let’s not objectify women” or “ah it’s a bit of fun isn’t it? For me, it’s weird, but let’s not shame the person who has written it”. In private he can laugh at as many 🐱 jokes as he wants too, he can talk all day long about how f*cking weird fanfics about him are BUT when it’s in the public eye and he has hundreds of thousands of female fans, it’s pretty gross and feels like he doesn’t care about female fans at all. (Idk if this makes sense in the way I’ve written it)

We all know he doesn’t keep up with the news (he’s said so himself) but he comes across as tone deaf sometimes. You can get away with that at 22,23 but he’s in his 30s with a girlfriend. Come on! It’s not exactly giving “I have a girlfriend and a sister and would hate for my girlfriend and sister to be spoken about like that so let’s chill with the sexist, double standard comments.”

Don’t get me wrong, he’s not the only one (Pierre is a major eyeroll) but he’s not 25, he’s old enough to know better. If this Dax book thing isn’t cut and the drug addict continues to push Daniel to talk about it then shame on Daniel for not saying no - from both his side in it being weird and for ripping apart a female who was just doing something she enjoyed

Just my take. I’ll probably get shit for this

this ask is from a week ago.. sorry about the late response 😳 also the podcast incident has been discussed many many times in the past so i really hope me answering this ask won't reopen the discourse.

pretty sure this was related to the other ask about daniel's non-confrontational personality so im just gonna go from there. if daniel were a confrontational person and he chooses to not address the host's misogynistic remarks, then i think it'd be worth discussing whether he lacks the comprehension. but he's not. in fact he resolves conflicts in the most non-confrontational way possible. and im not saying this just to make a point. when i say 'the most' i really mean non-confrontational in like an almost pathological way.

example:

this was after z*k brown fired him in the most public and disrespectful way possible, including assuring him he still has a seat when they'd already given his seat to oscar. mysterious italian man said to him 'told you not to trust zak' and he just. smiled like this.

another example:

here max can be seen getting more and more annoyed for daniel by the second. meanwhile daniel smiled bigger and bigger. and when max interrupted to defend him daniel was NOT SURPRISED AT ALL even though he had appeared totally ok with Crofty’s question up until that point

idk why he is the way he is, but to me it's very obvious he's not a confrontational person. he's like the opposite of confrontational (would literally smile bigger when he's uncomfortable/offended) idek if they have a word for that. "hey look let's not" is just not something he would say.

i do find it disappointing that he didn't call out the host for the p*ssy comment. imo a moment like that is where he (anybody) should've spoken up regardless. but i'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust that he didn't react simply for the same reason he doesn't react to offensiveness/hostility in general. to me it doesn't necessarily mean he lacks the sensitivity or comprehension.

(the book thing was a whole different story tho. that book was literally erotica written about him. for him it's personal. imo he doesn't need to worry about how the writer feels at all)

#still ty for sending! #asks #* #I do hate what he said about news with a passion #lol #but I like him too much to care as long as it’s not a matter of principle 🫡 #txt

[mishkakagehishka]

valk for the ask game!

omg, the both of them... don't mind if I do!

Shu:

favorite thing about them: how can I choose just one... the fact that he's good at sewing and embroidery is so [heart eyes] tho...

least favorite thing about them: fr*ncophile (derogatory). I could fix him

favorite line: that entire monologue in Human Comedy where he talks about what makes a human at the fruits parlour with Mika. I think he made some Points tbh ... the "kill me as gruesomely as you can" one was also metal

brOTP: all of the Eccentric 5 in a brolycule, I think they deserve it

OTP: ShuMika,,,,,,,,, where I'm from we have a saying for when two people are just the right flavour of horrible for one another; they found eachother /lh

nOTP: I never really thought about it, but I guess I wouldn't ship him with Eichi. It'd be funny, but it wouldn't workkasjksdak

random headcanon: he can't handle alcohol, at all. He's a total lightweight, a single beer gets him lightheaded

unpopular opinion: idk how unpopular it is here on tumblr, but i can't subscribe to him being "irredeemable". He was a piece of shit, of course, but it was needed for the narrative and his own arc was about him becoming Less of a piece of shit, yknow? Besides, he's been trying his best since ! era.

song i associate with them: Dionysus by BTS... there's something about the "born as a (kpop) idol, reborn as an artist" line. The whole song, though, has a Shu vibe to it, comparing creating music/art to getting drunk

favorite picture of them: sighs longingly. I wish he would smile more,,,

Mika:

favorite thing about them: his dialect/accent has bewitched me from day one, I love listening to him speak, even when I understand nothing

least favorite thing about them: he has no faults. All of his flaws make sense and are needed for the narrative to work, and, furthermore, most of his flaws are charming because he's Mika. #Number1MikaApologist

favorite line: in one of his winter homescreen lines, he mentions having sewn a tiny little scarf for Mademoiselle. I have never stopped thinking about it. The visualisation of it is impeccable.

brOTP: MAYOI AND MIKA... they're quite similar, I really wanna see them interact more, that one little 3* story was NOT enough

OTP: NaruMika,,,, I love them as besties, I love them as lovers, I love them in any and every type of dynamic. They're sooooooo please read that CN story where he makes a brooch for her

nOTP: again, I haven't really thought about it, but I guess Rinne and Mika. Asides from the questionable age gap, I think their dynamic is genuinely hilarious, but I can't see it ever working in neither a friendship nor a relationship. I do want it explored more as... whatever the hell they have going on. Coworker from hell on Mika's side, I'm assuming lmfao

random headcanon: He's a smoker. I've seen one (1) fanart of him with a cigarette in his mouth, and it hasn't left my mind since. "But he's a singer!!" yeah, well, uhhhh, he's also Slavic, so he's immune to the side effects of smoking, don't worry about it

unpopular opinion: I get the baby-boy-ification of Mika, I'm guilty of it, too, and I understand that humans will often judge based on appearances... But I feel like we're all too quick to forget that he's a freak and into go.re (and into go.re, if we are to trust Leo's words), among other weird stuff. Man is not a harmless little guy.

song i associate with them: Where I Live by Woodkid... It feels a bit like him

favorite picture of them: And I'm expected to choose just one smh... anyway can we get his nails painted more often Please

send me a character <3

#crying weeping. Valkyrie... <333 #asks #ask games

[twelvedaysinaugust]

I was a little confused by the Luis thing at the concert. I also thought he looked a little annoyed, but... I think the fan was quite literally just saying her boyfriend's name is Luis. I mean, it's not exactly a rare name. It'd be one thing, and very understandable, I think, for him to be annoyed if he felt like he was being intentionally set up for a Larry moment out of his control, but it seems weird to be uncomfortable or annoyed by a total coincidence like that, even if the fans reacted to it. I mean, obviously there's the Larry aspect, but tbh I think fans would've screamed if somebody said 'oh my boyfriend's name is Zayn' or any of the other 1D boys' names too, just because interactions between them are so rare. Idk, maybe in the moment he thought it was a set-up or that the fan was going to push the joke somewhere he didn't want it to go, or maybe he was getting something from his in-ear? It does look like he has one in at the time and the little shrug could be a 'what can you do, not my fault' kind of shrug.

I don't think Harry felt like he was set up or was angry at the individual fan. I think her boyfriend's name was actually Luis (it's a very common name, after all). As soon as Harry said it, I think he was anticipating a certain fan reaction and then the fan reaction happened and he looked annoyed. If I went to pretty great lengths to conceal this relationship and protect my privacy, I think I'd also be annoyed if the crowd screamed at the mere mention of a name similar to Louis.

As a general rule, I don't think Harry or Louis spend much time thinking about what fans are doing. But just to give another example to illustrate my point. When Louis' first album came out, some lyrics were pretty clearly about Harry. And I feel like if we just talked about it amongst ourselves and didn't sing the "Princess Park" lyric louder than all the rest, it would have been fine. Faith in the Future is amazing and it's clear Louis is proud of it. And maybe the less specific, less autobiographical lyrics were the natural progression for him as an artist. But when Louis says he was too specific on Walls and gave away more than he wanted to, I can't help but think that some of that change was due to the fan reaction.

[bisluthq]

Taylor has been 100x shadier when it comes to her exes as well as their ex partners. She released All of The Girls ffs. Kayla ain’t doing that. Idk why Swifties are acting so precious about what she does because by all accounts Taylor is much pettier. It’s like how Swifties are ready to revolt if Joe cheated on her meanwhile she’s said she’s cheated before and probably emotionally cheated on Joe.

Kayla legit isn't doing anything wrong.

I TOTALLY get it if you don't like her aesthetic or brand. That's just a matter of personal taste and no that would not be racist or misogynistic like that's just you liking what you like. Like I say, my fave influencer is Tally Rye and like if u tell me Tally annoys the shit out of you I'm not gonna go mount a defence because idk all influencers are a little annoying by definition and we just vibe with the ones that resonate. But like going "I don't like her aesthetic/brand" is one thing; going "I don't like her because she dated Taylor's boyfriend before Taylor did" is weird as shit lmfao.

Taylor shouldn't even be saying that because there is no evidence Kayla was like primarily at fault in the breakup/s. I've told y'all like I dislike my partner's ex-wife (who I've not met but might at some point because for the kids here who think otherwise you do bump into people y'all knew even if you're no longer in touch) because she hurt him super badly and was generally a crazy ass cunt and I'm the one now having to clean up some of her messes right because there are a number of hangups he has that are totally, 100% on her. The woman is a crazy ass cunt lol. HOWEVER, she is LITERALLY the only one of my bf's exes I dislike or have an opinion on beyond a few where they're nice and I like them (his first gf ever and him are still friends and she's in a tricky situation marriage wise right now and like we keep inviting her to come stay with us and we talk to her on speaker often and the two of them talk privately between that because like she's super lovely and I'm not going to be weird about him talking to someone he dated when he was 17-19 lol because like that was a long time ago???? And the girl is still nice!????)

My bf's most recent ex before me is someone I am very frostily neutral to but I think I told y'all the story as to why like when we moved in together he went off one morning about how I don't like tidy shit up and so I went to tidy shit up and I found a two page love letter from her from after the breakup like asking to get back together and I'm me right so I read the whole thing and 1) she's a shit writer lol 2) sorry for her that it didn't work like idk I guess as woman to woman I wish she'd managed to make it work since she seemed pretty upset in the letter 3) she left him - I mean they didn't live together or anything but they dated for like over a year - for her ex lol like that one's on her tho to then go writing letters is psychotic 4) I've asked him if like it'd make me feel better if I met with her like if we should yk reach out and invite her to stuff since it didn't end badly and he was like "no you're gonna hate the shit out of her and I don't want you to because I know how you're gonna make fun of her, and you will, but that's going to be making fun of me too and so you're better off in this current zone of neutrality" and I was like "fair enough king, I tried" (we have another ex he's still friends with - letter girl we hardly see around - he also doesn't want me to meet in person because apparently like her sociopolitical views are the kinds of shit I make fun of like a lot - like that ultra woke identity politics shit coupled with super centrist to right leaning fiscal policies and like lmfao yes I would make fun of that because that neoliberal shit makes no sense) but anyway: I don't dislike the clearly overly online woman lol and he can talk to her as much as he wants lmfao and I don't dislike letter girl like I don't want to read more letters from her but other than that she can do her thing.

So my point is if Taylor has no reason to be mad at Kayla why the fuck are fans mad?

[quick-drawn-a]

;; okay but,,

          STRIKE COMMANDER COLTON CASSIDY does have a certain ring to it —

#✯ — нorѕeѕ ιn тнe вacĸ × [ ooc ] #as i suspected the name is growing on me a little bit #this blog's lore is still gonna remain the same though #just because #idk it'd just feel weird totally going from one thing to another #and #as i've stated before — as weird as it sounds — i've grown a bit attached to 'jesse mccree' #and have kinda....made him into his own character....in some aspects #bUT ANYWAY #as good as it sounds i don't think he'd take up the title #for one #he's trying to stay away from overwatch and what it was and the militaristic ranking system.....i don't think he'd wanna adopt that #two — it's just not his thing anymore #younger jesse ?? would think he's the shit #would look at you sideways for calling him anything but — #recall jesse ? he only took the position because SOMEONE had to do it #and i feel like #while he may be looked at as 'head honcho' or have the last say in a lot of things #his leadership style is very.....involved #he'd never send someone in the field to do something that he himself wouldn't do #he doesn't look at ANYBODY as disposable #and a lot of times — he'd much rather be out there himself #idk i just feel like he'd think — if he didn't take on the title #it wouldn't feel so much like an 'all on you' situation #especially if he fails #because i mean.....c'mon #look at the odds... #someone: commander cassi — #jesse: DON'T. #but yeah

[clumsyclifford]

2, 3, 6, 10, & 17 for the beginning of the year writer's asks! -megs 💙

hiya megs!!

2. Is there a fic you hope to finish this year? well i answered this here but i'll give you a different answer: this silly crack pairing fic i'm working on, i really need to get that finished. i know it WILL be finished this year, and soon, so it's less that i hope it'll be finished and more that i'm just looking forward to when it is.

3. Is there anything new you want to try with your writing? A new genre? Style of writing? one day ill write an epistolary fic and maybe that day will be in 2022. mm.......i think a nonlinear narrative is a SUPER interesting format/style of writing, not sure if i'm like...skilled enough to pull that off but it might be nice to try. yeah i don't know! i'm always sort of trying to do something new in a way, so. who knows.

6. Is there a trope you’re going to leave behind? oh man, i don't know. i don't want to say i'll leave fake dating behind but i might be reaching a point of struggling to write it because there's only so many ways i feel like i can write it before it's no longer convincing. plus fake dating fics are inherently longer which means more of a commitment. also i think i can pretty safely say i'm not gonna write another amnesia fic lmao i think one is enough

10. Do you have a goal for this year for your writing? Any word count? A genre you want to mark off? i believe my word count goal for the year is...250k? i think that's what i set it as at the start of the year. i'm actually having a strange experience this year that i haven't had since i started writing band/rpf fic, which is that i started writing fic in other fandoms again, and posting them to my other ao3 account. so when i look at my total word count at the end of the year i'm going to have to add it up from the two different accounts, which is gonna be weird. like i think if i only look at my bellawritess posted word count at the end of the year it might not be 250k but i'll still have written 250k in total in terms of time spent sitting down writing and posting fanfiction. it just won't all have been rpf. genuinely i am so tired right now i cannot tell if any of these sentences are making sense with each other or by themselves. i hope you know what i mean

ANYWAYYYY, apart from the word count, i'd like to post another chaptered fic! they're really fun to be posting and i miss that feeling so. motivation to finish summer camp au lmao.

17. Any AUs you want to try this year? answered this one here as well ! short answer: more fics with children. honestly maybe more fics with OCs in general? idk sometimes they can be fun to write. that's not an AU. okay well. oh well. omg wait. one more. okay i. probably won't actually write this cos itd require me to get a lot better at a few big things real quick, BUT.......i would love a queer eye crossover type thing. i just. i just think it'd be fun. entertaining. i am taking suggestions for who you think queer eye would be most likely to Fix. has to be calum or ashton right? anyway. that

writer asks (2022 edition)

#i feel so out of it lmao #i said to beth that i had poke for food yesterday #and then paused #and went. wait. what day is it. when did i get here. wait. that was THIS MORNING #thats what i get for taking a nap #genuinely did not expect to fall asleep today but i should have known #i GOTTA get some good sleep tho because it's fest day tomorrow #and i CANNOT be tired #to that end: SHOWER TIME FINALLY I AM GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER AND YOU CANNOT STOP ME #ask #megs #igarbagecannoteven

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol 17

I am,,, confused. Thoroughly. Did I read this too fast? Am I misunderstanding? This book felt like a series of "What? Huh? What? Huh? What? Whuhh?? Huhhhhh?????" and I am kinda bewildered.

So let's talk about it,,, somehow.

It starts with Shigure and Hatori talking about Akito's meltdown at New Year's, and how apparently Shigure tried to comfort Akito, but Akito was having none of it. The topic of Kureno came up, and how he just seems off, disconnected, in a sense, and also how Akito seems to have chosen Kureno above all the other Juunishi.

Panning over to Kureno, in the previous book Momiji gave him the CD of the play, "Sorta Cinderella". He seemed pretty affected by the things that Uotani said, but they also reminded him of moments with Akito, when he was younger. He calls Shigure later, asking for Tohru, which Shigure finds odd. What business would the two of them have? But it turns out that later, Tohru does run into Kureno, on her way to the store. She was squatting next to a bunch of birds, and when he showed up, they flew away. This is important at all, because that isn't what usually happens to the animals that the Juunishi share a spirit with (agh how to phrase things), in fact it's the opposite. Tohru asks Kureno about this, and then he solidifies any questions by hugging her and,,,, nothing happens. Somehow, he isn't affected by the curse. It has no hold on him, he won't turn into a bird (I suppose a rooster, specifically, which is kinda sad bc I was looking forward to that, in a little way. It'd be funny, if nothing else) if he gets really weak or sick, or if he hugs someone of the opposite sex.

Tohru asks him how this happened, and when, but Kureno doesn't really know. It happened randomly one day, a while back, but he has no idea was triggered it. It's just that, one day, he was vibin, doing his thing, and it just happened. No one else in the family knows, he's just been pretending that he's still a Juunishi. Kureno also said that he can't be with Uotani, that the CD was a wasted attempt, because he's promised to be with and take care of another person, that person being Akito. Kureno makes it clear, though, that he still does care for Uotani, but he just can't be with her. This whole time, it's been switching between the current interaction between Kureno and Tohru, and flashing back to when Kureno first realized that the curse broke for him, and Akito was just fucking losing his mind, screaming and shit. He begged for Kureno to stay, regardless of the curse (btw, at this point, Kureno's a teenager, and Akito's still a little kid, so it was a little while ago), and Kureno said that he would promise to stay with Akito, stay by his side, pretend that he's still a Juunishi, etc.

And then, at the end of the chapter, something is revealed: apparently Akito's a girl. To be honest, I'm not really sure what to do with this information. As far as I can remember, it doesn't really have much to do with anything. Why has he (she? fuck. I have no idea.) been presenting as a boy this whole time? Because his mom forced him, since he was born. Why did she do that? I don't know, it didn't say in this book. Hopefully it fucking clarifies later on, because I'm just getting vibes from that one Insidious movie, with that ghost/demon person. Wasn't that their deal? Something like that. Reversed, but something like that. Idk, I was too busy being scared shitless to think about the intricacies of the plot.

Anyway, so Akito's apparently a girl, but has been raised as a boy. Four of the Juunishi know this: Shigure, Hatori, Ayame, and Kureno, because they were all kids when Akito was born. Apparently, when Akito's mom (her name is Ren) was pregnant with Akito, they all came to her and were crying and shit, acting super weird. Like, they all just knew that Akito would be the God.

As a fun side note, Ren and Akito fucking hate each other. Just,, so much. Is there a person in the Sohma family that doesn't have familial issues, because it just seems like there are a lot of people who do. I think maybe Kagura doesn't? I haven't seen anything saying she has issues. Nothing much has been said about Shigure's, Hatori's, or Kureno's families, so maybe they're okay? I dunno, but one of the things that specifically shows up between Ren and Akito, is that Ren does not believe in the "bond" that Akito and the rest of the Juunishi have, saying that it's a fake love, that, if given the choice, the Juunishi would not behave or treat Akito the way they do, which is kinda true. From what I read about when Yuki first met Akito, there were a lot of conflicting feelings, ranging from "I hate you but also I never want to be away from you" to "This is hell on earth just being near this person but also to be away from this person is agony", and like, whoa. That's a lot. I doubt it's like that at all anymore, but there has been some mentions that Akito does have some higher hold on the Juunishi than other people do.

All this said and done, I still want to know more. I am heavily curious. I'd like to know more about Akito's whole situation. I'm glad he's not just a one-dimensional "bad guy", but dang, some of this stuff, it just feels like it's coming out of left field. (Is that a baseball thing? That sounds like a baseball thing. Idioms are weird.)

By the time that Kureno leaves, Tohru's a wreck. She's crying, and confused, and just,,, yikes. (I kinda was too, but just the confused part.) And so who comes to the rescue than Hanajima, and also Hanajima, but the small one. (I realized recently that most of these people are referred to by their first names, except for like, Uotani and Hanajima, which makes sense. A massive swath of these characters would all be "Sohma". It'd be confusing as fuck. But still. Idk) Hanajima felt Tohru's sheer confusion and despair, and Megumi tagged along because why not, y'know?

Hanajima decided that Tohru would stay with her for the night, so that she and Tohru and Uotani could all talk stuff out about what Tohru was upset about. Unfortunately for Shigure, Yuki and possibly Kyo? I don't think he was home at the time but maybe??, that meant that Tohru wasn't making dinner. So Yuki potentially gave Shigure and himself food poisoning, but hey, it's better than takeout, right? (Seriously, Tohru's back must be tired from cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, and dealing with everyone's emotional baggage, she's doing so much. And she still has her own personal shit that she does, like,,, how hasn't she lost her shit yet??)

Tohru says that Kureno was kind, in that he was looking out for other people's feelings and wellfare before his own, and Hanajima says that she (Tohru) does the same thing (which is what Uotani first saw in Kureno, and why she thought that he was like Tohru), but Hanajima worries that the more that Tohru does that, the more that she carries the worries and troubles of other people, it could end up hurting her. (We love a caring friend that cares) In the end, Uotani tells Tohru that it's okay, that she cares more about the relationships she has now than whatever she might have had with Kureno, which was nice.

Moving onwards, the school is making preparations for graduation! I don't think Tohru and Co. are graduating quite yet (maybe they are idk), but there are these paper flowers that they're making, and for some reason, shenanigans ensue. Like, a group of girls just nabbing a bunch of flowers that Kyo made?? Why? That's really weird of you to do. Stop that. (They were tracked down and forced to make up for all the flowers they stole, because for some reason they wouldn't give back the flowers they stole.) It's kinda weird, I forgot that Kyo is also kinda popular with girls, because usually we only hear from the girls that fawn over Yuki. But yeah, that's a thing for Kyo, as well. Weird, either way.

Now we are at the last chunk of the book, hooray! This isn't as long as the previous one 😬. So, Shigure and Akito got something weird going on. I'm not really sure what to think of it, honestly. Apparently Shigure slept with Ren, and Akito kicked him out of the main house as a punishment, which Shigure did not fight back at all. (wow that was not a large section at all i totally didn't just lose steam and stop right there at all nope not me i don't do that not at all)

I'll admit that part of me is still kinda,, squeamish? I guess? about people in the Sohma household being in relationships, it's just that they all have "Sohma", that is probably messing me up. Idk. It's definitely not a healthy relationship. All kinds of weird tensions and miscommunication abound. It's not a good time.

#I peeked a bit at the next book and that first portion seems cute #doesn't really have much to do with what I'm writing now though #I guess I'll just finish reading it then write about it #I mean what else would I do #I'm still confused about the whole thing with Akito #Especially with like...... what pronouns to use??? #Because they'll say 'i fear for him. he's just a scared little girl' and i'm like HUH #it's weird #idk what to think #i'm quite confused #and i'm also just wondering why #why is it a thing #why did ren do that #it's bizarre #anyway #tohru honda #yuki sohma #kyo sohma #shigure sohma #hatori sohma #akito sohma #kureno sohma #hanajima saki #hanajima megumi #uotani arisa #fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket vol 17 #fruits basket volume 17

[punkscowardschampions]

Gen 4.1 Planning

Libi: Okay, so my basic premise for who Libi is going to be at her core, WOO; I was thinking about how we said that she is Tess' second (lowkey third but I'll let you live gal) chance at 'getting it right' and raising a child well, which, OBVIOUSLY, she's never told or anything but there's an innate pressure in that that you'd know on some level, likewise her mum AND dad died so everyone would be quick with those comparisons always, this family and Liam's mum when that contact is made because her daughter died as well as; Then that made me think of the pressure Ro felt because you know, bad shit happened to Bea (Edie and Liam in this case) and then she got saved by McVickers and felt like she owed everyone to be great and do great things; so my vibe is that BUT COMING FROM A LESS SELFISH, WEIRD, PERFECTIONISM ANGLE soz not soz Ro, we know what you did; I see her being better behaved as she grows up, far more than her parents obviously but lowkey better behaved than any of the mcvickers or cali kids ever were because she thinks everyone deserves that, her not causing any more problems, but again UNLIKE Ro, she wouldn't be different to a degree of not fitting in because she'd make a massive effort to be there for everyone and every event, be likeable and get along with as much of the fam as possible, obviously some of that is natural charm but it's also putting in the time ahem Rosaline; like, she's a people pleaser, to a fault, and all she cares about is making everyone else, Tess, Fearghal, Ali, JJ etc etc, happy and making sure she's being what she thinks they want her to be/need her to be, and like that is what makes her happy because she is doing it out of love and respect not obligation but she doesn't know she's doing it, you know? Again, it's innate, how she is, but that's where the arc can come in, in realising that she goes with what makes everyone else happy, is who they need, but what does SHE want herself, and what does SHE need? A way I thought we could make this a Bobby/Libi storyline if we wanted (but we do not have to) is if she does have feelings for him, could be any point on his timeline gfs and kids wise whatever, but she lets him go and have whatever gf or do whatever thing because she's like that's what he wants he doesn't like me or want me like that etc, because she doesn't let herself want things selfishly or do anything just for herself Bobby: we should totally have them be together as little bubs because they are and it's like a running joke that they are gonna get together/get married like we've lowkey already said but more so but maybe the vibe is he is really shy how he is and lowkey it's like a my sister and me vibe where she does all the talking and socialising for him and like all their friends are joint friends Bobby: not in a creepy Ro and Ali way but Bobby: and we will let you outgrow that sir Libi: it makes sense because obviously we're learning sign language so simply Bobby can't communicate with most kids by himself, that's facts, and it's easier to have another kid help you than Jimmy always being there, or whoever he has helping him at school, you know Bobby: oh snap maybe I flip reverse what I said and Cammie's mum is the deaf one too and the vibe could be that like Libi pushes him to get some deaf friends as they become like tweens/teens so he can communicate himself so he does and does become more outgrowing that way but maybe he lowkey leans too hard into deaf culture for a while there and she feels like pushed out by it because it's something she can't be a part of Libi: ooh yeah, that makes a lot of sense Bobby: it adds something to Cammie's character as well being hearing but having two deaf parents so that's interesting Bobby: and also makes sense why JJ have to help them so much as well as them just being young Libi: right, there's a lot of shit Cammie would have to do from a young age if not for JJ lowkey 'cos it's just easier for a hearing kid than it is a deaf adult in this world Libi: her mum could maybe be more partial for ease but yes Bobby: and like it makes sense that Libi would push her feelings aside when those two grow closer/happen because she'd be like well they're both deaf that's something I can't give him and something I want him to have Libi: exactly, it'd feel really selfish to wreck that even if you didn't have all the ingrained shit she does around it Bobby: and obviously he actually wants to be with her as well but thinks she doesn't want that and before you now it there's baby Cammie so it's like well now I gotta try and make this work because don't wanna be a shit father like I had Libi: oh the drama of it all Libi: love it Libi: and we've not really got (that I can think of) a never mind I'll find someone like you type deal Libi: because usually it's like JUST SAY IT but it actually makes sense here to pine and long but let him go Libi: hence I'm here for it Libi: So, what I'm thinking right now is, that they're like never officially together, like it just keeps being an in-joke kinda vibe and like we're JUST best friends and then kind of like family, but obviously as they get into tween/teen years it's beyond a stage you can pretend you're just a kid playing at being girlfriend and boyfriend and as you said boo, that will coincide with JJ wedding and kids roughly so then it'd be more obvious like it's not going to happen seriously, then she can encourage him to get deaf friends etc, but I feel like he should only meet Cammie's mum just before or at uni (or whatever equivalent he's doing after school) so then it is quick and not like they were even mates before so it's less of a shock for all, you know? Bobby: I totally agree because I strongly pictured him being best man at the JJ wedding (soz Pete) and her being one of the bridesmaids and all the bants that go along with that and them both being SO 😳 Bobby: and yeah he could live the cliché that Jac was mocking and literally get with this girl freshers week I'd believe it Libi: Right? it then mirrors the Jameson/Cammie thing except they literally are just BFFs and there isn't anything going on Libi: there's actually weight to this but we're just like haha no don't be silly Bobby: and we've literally not done that trope with childhood boy girl best friends before really because baze are probably the closest but they were always so clearly in love and refusing to fight it so it's fun Libi: exactly, because unknowingly or otherwise, we're fighting against all the cliches and tropes that come with this family Libi: like I'm going to not do any of those things that caused drama for everyone and this is clearly too close to home, even though I don't think anyone would actually be that bothered, we've just really internalized and gone with it Bobby: like how nobody cares Jac is gay except Jac herself Libi: right Libi: but obviously she's good at keeping this all internal because no one can or is gonna clock it and be like, babe, it's okay Libi: like JJ might be a bit like oop, keeping it in the family but as long as you're both happy they really don't care, and same for mcvickers even if Tess is suspish of everyone that comes into any gal's life 'cos trauma lol Bobby: Bobby wasn't trying to make deaf culture happen for himself but Libi would have been so excited for him to get out there and do it that he would've been excited too and then it is literally like a new world opening up because who has he ever interacted with that's deaf before Bobby: didn't mean to lowkey leave you behind gal but Libi: it's kinda her own fault, not to blame you but clearly literally what we do like okay he's happy now mission accomplished Bobby: and maybe Cammie's mum is like the deaf equivalent of those gays who make it their whole identity so she's really selling it and so he also thinks okay this is who I should be with Libi: we know the vibe, like it's more excusable but still, I get you Libi: I see it Libi: a bit of a baby gay equivalent like go too hard and you're like I need to calm this down Libi: UNRELATED BUT Libi: think it will please you Libi: Jay is born 32 like Bobby, I'm pretty sure, and I thought Libi and her would also make for interesting content because Jay obviously feels she owes a lot to the fam for not being stuck with Chloe etc etc and the very little we did with her gave off a similar energy to me Libi: and she has her commitment issues in relationships because of her mum situation so they can bond over the shit that holds 'em back even though it's different stuff Bobby: and her relationship with Ava being her mum but also not being is something I feel like Libi can relate to because of how she was raised and the Rio and Buster-ness of it all because they wanted to raise her and obvs they wanted to raise Jay for a while there too Bobby: plus all the travelling she does is something that Libi could potentially join her in doing if she needs an escape so that's nice Libi: 100% it makes for a strong friendship there's a lot of parallels if not total similarities Libi: it makes a lot of sense, it's coming together baby Bobby: if you need to get away from seeing Bobby literally playing happy families, I can offer you that gal because I'm gonna have her go to uni/live in new york probably now that Nancy isn't because her face actually did live there idk if they still do or what but Bobby: we know the vibe is that she goes everywhere and can't settle so you'll have lots of chances to run away in a way that won't upset anyone Bobby: and when she gets her man and it works out we could totally coincide that because she can be like if I can do it so can you Libi: a mood a moment Bobby: all I know is Bobby is gonna be more chatty because neither Jimothy or Jesse are so I must but not to Jude levels of !!! Libi: a nice middleground Libi: which is kind of what I see for her honestly Libi: less in your face than 1. we were as a little bub 2. a lot of the fam but still sociable enough that it jives well with most of 'em Bobby: I'm so happy about all of this and honestly Cammie's mum being deaf makes so much sense in terms of what we were already thinking about her being more distant and working a lot Libi: if she doesn't give up the fight, she could be some kind of advocate vibe Libi: 'cos then Cammie can't even call her out really Libi: like soz this is important, maam your child Bobby: exactly what I was thinking we're in sync rn boo Libi: because it all makes sense, you gotta follow one thread and then the story shows itself tbh Libi: because tying in Astrid too, obviously that makes sense because she loses her mum too, and she'd ultimately be a really good influence because after Ro dies Astrid is kind of freed to do whatever she wants for herself Libi: and how much happier it makes her, how much she improves...well Libi: sips tea Bobby: I LOVE THIS Libi: and who else is taking the autistic girl that seriously and letting her teach you things Libi: love that for you Libi: she's living her best life and we can see that Bobby: she can be in their friend group, I'm happy Libi: ALSO, I feel as if she couldn't lie to Astrid Libi: because she says how she sees it bluntly and we're not going to feel comfortable fobbing her off because of that insistence, so that'll be good for you even when we're hiding it from everyone else Libi: everyone else you've just got to be vaguely like oh no no and it's dropped and like okay Bobby: we're gonna get to show so many different sides of Libi, I'm always here for that Bobby: and however far we go down the Astrid and her gf eating disorder rabbit hole, we''ll have Libi not treating her like a kid which is great Libi: yeah, there's loads we can do with the end of gen 4 for them all it's a mood Bobby: okay so what or who would you like to throw Libi at first Libi: that is the question Bobby: just so we know Bobby is going to Trinity and studying Business, Economics and Social Studies (B.E.S.S.) which is business, economics, political science and sociology basically so he can end up working at that advertising place with Jimothy after he has done this 4 years Bobby: Cammie's mum is there doing deaf studies which is also 4 years Libi: do we wanna do a rough timeline for these people mentioned here Libi: Jay born 32, we find out about her when she's 7 in 39 Libi: Bobby is born 32 and comes into the story 38 Libi: Libi is born 34, Edam die 35, we know this situation, is 4 soon to be 5 when she meets Bobby vias JJ Libi: Astrid is born 35 and Ro dies in 44 when Astrid is 9 Libi: JJ can get married 46, so Libi is 12 and Bobby is 14 Libi: doesn't have to be when we intro the deaf friends to the point of exclusion obvs but it's timed so we never have the 'real' relationship chat of it all obvs Libi: so Bobby would go to uni in 50-51 and Camie is born 51 start of 2nd year Libi: that gives us this good 4 year period before uni to play with, then obviously we know the vibe of when she's born and making that work etc Libi: Hmm, I think it would make the most sense to do a gap year then stay local, like that's the ideal Libi: because I really think she'd struggle being away from the fam Libi: but I'm kinda thinking maybe to be cruel she DOES go away because it seems like something the fam are like yay about Libi: 'cos she'd try really, really hard to stay but they should at least notice that and she can transfer for a reprieve Bobby: that's really nice actually Libi: she should do her first year in Liverpool, the rest at Trinity Libi: okay, so film studies, it was only 3 years in Liverpool but we're changing to trinity and you do years 1 and 2 (aka whilst Bobby is still there at least for year 1 but I need to check anyway) there and years 3 and 4 at Columbia uni in new york, aka where Jay is Libi: **remind me to check the times but we need to give him a solid bday and I'm changing hers up too Libi: this is just roughly Libi: but this way we can be cruel with it lol

#gen 4 #just bibi actually but you know #a bit of jay and astrid etc

[bigskydreaming]

How would you go about a good Spyral Dick Grayson storyline? I like the idea but not the execution (if it was stated he was acting like an idiot I'd like it better). Also in the same vein how would you do DickTiger/how do you think it'd work?

I’m side-eyeing you a little anon, lol, because I’m not sure what you mean by it’d be better if it was stated he was acting like an idiot. Because see, as far as I’m concerned, nothing about Dick’s actions was out of character....so long as you center Bruce’s actions as the real driving force behind Dick ending up stuck undercover at Spyral. Dick’s actions make perfect sense....as the fractured attempts at recuperating from a massive trauma without any semblance of a support system or any time or space to actually dedicate to acknowledging and accepting what he’d just been through before leaping right back into danger.

It remains extremely troubling to me that even WITHOUT taking into account Bruce’s victim blaming him for his own death, emotional manipulation and physical beating...all of that only stacks on top of what should already have been the takeaway, IMO:

And that is that its absolutely ridiculous to think that Dick could have remotely been emotionally and mentally composed enough to make an informed, non-coerced decision about undertaking the Spyral mission AND keeping it from the rest of the family.....mere days after being extensively tortured and then briefly died.

He wasn’t in a sound state of mind to make that decision with full awareness of all the implications and repercussions like he would have at other times. Nobody would have been.

And the rest of his family might not have known about him dying, but they did know about him being tortured for days and then unmasked, since they literally saw that on TV....and they know, post Dick’s return, that Dick had been in place undercover before his funeral was even held...the same week he was thought to have died. It should have been obvious to a family of geniuses that all choices made in a matter of days after being tortured and unmasked and who knows what else might have happened offscreen that they could only know about by ASKING him about his ordeal instead of jumping straight to punching him for the choices he made while in the immediate aftermath of massive trauma....like, point is, even without knowing he died, there was always more than enough info they were privy to that there’s no real excuse for their response to his return being judgment instead of concern for how the hell has he been coping with all of that, out there all on his own without anyone he could fully trust, let alone unburden himself to.

None of them spared a single thought for what any of that had been like for him, because they were too focused on their own hurt, and I’m always going to be pissed about that, lmao.

Anyway, apologies if none of that was anything you intended with your word choice, but to be perfectly honest I need very little excuse to go off on a rant about how even the rest of his family’s response to that storyline was like, fundamentally flawed.

NOW. On to your actual question! Because I do have an answer as I’ve thought about this particular thing a LOT, and my ire at both the Spyral storyline and the amnesia storyline coalesced into conjoined seething frustration because of how EASILY they could have avoided making all of the Batfam seem shitty, EVEN BRUCE, and like, also avoided them driving Dick further away rather than bringing him back closer to the family.

All you gotta do....is smash those two stories together and do them both at the same time.

LOL, a few months ago I actually literally wrote out a whole post outlining it in detail here:

https://bigskydreaming.tumblr.com/post/187334221591/if-dc-had-just-combined-their-spyral-and-amnesia

And I’ve copied and pasted the content of that post below the cut here too, just to keep it all in one place for convenience.

As for Dick/Tiger - that’s a whole other post I don’t have time to get into at the moment, but in a nutshell, I’m hugely a fan of their pairing but in specific ways...I mostly see them as each other’s angsty kinda ‘the one that got away, that they could never shake how they got under their skin, but can’t find a way to actually be with, longterm.’ Because the thing is, so much of their dynamic and interactions with each other were clouded by the layers of deception they both wore at all times, and how many different lies they had to tell in service of their whole reason for being there, and how much of themselves they had to hide.

Like, I tend to picture them as kinda both wistfully thinking if they’d met in another life, in another way, without all the cloak and dagger and lies from the very start...they could absolutely be happy together. But as it is, there’s no getting around that they both feel in any kind of relationship, there’d always be some part of them, even if just deep down, that was always keeping an eye open for a crack in the other’s mask, a sign that once again, they were not what they professed to be.

So I see them as being very much that spy vs spy trope, even after Dick goes back to vigilantism and civilian life and even when he and Tiger are theoretically on the same side.....like, I could see them having very emotionally charged, physical, almost desperate kinda encounters in secret whenever they’re in the same city or whatever....because they’re past denying that there’s definitely something between them, always has been, probably always will be...but without even talking about it, just with mutual understanding and implicit agreement, they always know these encounters are just for the night....and then its back to reality. With them thus becoming a kind of escape and fantasy for each other, all rolled up in one and thus inevitably romanticized even further within their own minds...

But they’re also both very pragmatic people, and used to taking what they can get and making the most of it. Its nice to picture the could-have-beens in a world where they met under more honest circumstances, but they live in this world, and here, this is what they can make of what they have, this is what they can make work. So its not all terrible, because if they both ultimately decide this is one of the better outcomes resulting from where they began, which neither of them can change...then it becomes more possible to appreciate what they have for what it is. Even if its not ideal. Or conventional. Or even forever....because I think they both are prepared for it to end if either one of them meets someone who can give them those kinds of nights and still be able to be there in the morning...

But none of that means that what they do have isn’t real, isn’t significant, isn’t as powerful and worthy in its own way as any more conventional relationship.

After all, neither of them are conventional people. They wouldn’t even have met if they were, making a lot of those might-have-beens a moot point. Probably wouldn’t even be as drawn to each other if they were other than what they are, because so much of their dynamic is tangled up in their respect for each other’s skills and convictions and more along those lines.

To be honest, I imagine both of them value and prize each other’s acting ability, their skills with deception and subterfuge....even as those are the very things at the root of why they’ll never be that conventional, longterm couple.

Because it keeps things even between them, and thus even when lying to each other’s faces, there was still an honesty to their dynamic, a balance. Neither is burdened by excessive guilt for deceiving the other, because they both were doing it and they understand why. Thus even when outright deceiving each other, there’s a weird kind of balance there that wouldn’t exist in relationships they had with others who couldn’t match what the other brought to the masquerade, so to speak.

Idk. I have a lot of thoughts on them obviously, lol, and totally meant that all to be another post but got carried away as usual, but I’ll leave it on that note for now, lmao.

How To Make The Spyral Storyline Work (If You Ask Me, which someone literally did so I can get away with saying this).

Ahem.

So. If DC had just combined their Spyral and amnesia stories into one, instead of like the mess we got, we could’ve actually had a good story.

Like, literally all you gotta do is back during Forever Evil, find some way to separate Bruce and Selina from Dick’s body BEFORE Luthor revives him….so Bruce too is of the belief that Dick’s dead, and Luthor being heralded as the one who saved the day from the Crime Syndicate protects him from Bruce or the Batfam’s reprisals.

Then all you gotta do is…instead of Dick getting amnesia like a year later from being shot in the head by KGBeast….Dick gets amnesia from complications in how long it took Luthor to revive him. And of course Luthor capitalizes the HELL out of this.

And then, you can pretty much do everything the same….without it being ANYONE in the Batfamily’s fault, or anyone taking anyone for granted?

You can still have Dick go undercover in Spyral, be Agent 37….only now its on Luthor’s orders, because Dick woke up with no memories and all he knows about himself or like, anything, is whatever Luthor tells him.

And he knows SOMETHING’S not right about everything, like, something’s off about the person he feels like he is and the person Luthor claims that he is, but Luthor’s savvy enough that he’s not forcing Dick to do anything that might trigger some buried memories or built in moral resistance to an order, he’s invested in keeping Dick as fully cooperative for as long as possible, because he knows Dick will be way more effective if he’s on board with stuff than actively fighting things. So Luthor has Dick sold on the idea that he’s infiltrating Spyral on behalf of the good guys, like Dick thinks he’s fine with doing morally gray stuff but isn’t full on trigger happy so Luthor doesn’t force him to kill people on his behalf and thus Dick’s time in Spyral and his character conflicts with Helena, Tiger, etc, remain largely the same.

And meanwhile, Dick’s in the dark about his real identity and past because not having any clue he’s alive, the Batfamily reluctantly has been doing their best to bury details of the late Dick Grayson, no matter how much they hate it, because they have to worry about the living members of their family and try and distance themselves from Dick post being-unmasked, so nobody connects the dots to all of them.

And then of course, eventually one of them runs into someone who reminds them suspiciously of Dick on a case, like his face is still all swirly because of the Hypnos implants but he says or does something that’s so quintessentially Dick Grayson that they can’t NOT wonder. Because here, Dick doesn’t KNOW to tamp down on his natural quips and banter or mannerisms around the Batfamily, and so they give him away even as he remains faceless, and there’s not really any way Luthor could have seen that coming or prevented it, without like….scripting everything Dick says or does in every possible encounter he has, which of course is impossible.

And so THEN ultimately, you can have one or two Batfam members pursuing possibilities that Dick’s alive on their own, and then eventually comparing notes and realizing Dick really IS alive, what Luthor must have done, and that Dick didn’t come home because Dick literally doesn’t remember where or what home is…..

And then whammo ka-blammo, its Fully United Batfamily To The Rescue as they basically just invade Spyral and blow it to Kingdom Come whilst convincing Dick that he’s their brother/son/friend and belongs with them and Lex Luthor is a lying liar who lies, SEARCH YOUR HEART, FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, YOU KNOW WE SPEAK THE TRUTH and blah blah blah et cetera et cetera et yada yada.

And nobody ever has to read Tom King and Scott Lobdell’s like…..*gestures disgustedly in the general direction of their utter tripe*….That.

[flippyspoon]

flippy, hiiiiii, another question: do you think billy would say 'i love you' first? he strikes me as a guy who feels deeply and with steve he'd try to show it the right way, you know? but its like canon that steve won't say it back right away after nancy, unless he was sure, and i imagine it'd go hard on billy? to wait? until the boy he loves would return his feelings?

added note: idk that i did the billy feeling deeply and trying to show it the right way (well def not the showing it the right way lol). which i think could be done… like it’s not obvious for billy but i think billy’s really elastic because we haven’t seen a lot of him…it makes him a lot of fun to play with trying to see how different emotional behaviors would work for his character? hmm…anyway…

i was thinking of how this would work and it gave me an idea of billy saying it while trying to be casual and smooth like he doesn’t really mean it but he totally means it and then it got mixed in with ‘billy shows love by doing weird ass childish shit’ and then the insecure steve became a not insecure steve (but i need to write that too). this is sort of like the inverse of a fic i just wrote a week ago actually. anyway not that you asked for a ficlet but here lol:

Smooth Operator

Billy couldn’t understand why they called it “falling” in love when it felt more like getting smacked in the back of the head with Steve’s bat. If it had been a fall, it had been hard and fast. One day he just wanted to bone Harrington and then suddenly it seemed he needed Steve, needed those sweet, soft, brown eyes and snarky tongue.

They had been dating for a while. By now Billy had thought so often and so intensely at Steve: I love you. It seemed that if you thought something so much you might fuck up and actually say it and he couldn’t do that, at least not yet.

Because Steve hadn’t said it.

Not that Billy was keeping score but Billy was definitely keeping score and if Steve was not in love with him, Billy was going to keep his damn mouth shut at least as far as love went, and hope for the best (which had never worked before).

Sometimes Billy got the urge to tell Steve he loved him. He’d be sitting across from Steve at Fredo’s Pizza and there would be a break in the conversation and Steve would gaze at him with those dopey, beautiful, sweet eyes and Billy would almost say it.

Sometimes he had to do something to stop himself, like plugging a leak.

Once he sucked a little bit of Coke into his straw and blew it out into Harrington’s face.

Steve sputtered and wiped his face with a napkin while Billy clenched his fists under the table, turning red.

“What in the hell did you do that for?” Steve said.

“I dunno,” Billy muttered.

Another time while they were doing homework, Steve randomly reached over and picked up Billy’s hand and kissed his palm and Billy almost said it again but instead he sucked his finger and stuck it in Steve’s ear.

“Gah! Billy! You’re such a little shit!” Steve said, but he was laughing.

“Sorry,” Billy said, as if it were some uncontrollable bodily function he was apologizing for. Doubly weird because Billy wasn’t easily given to apology.

He gave Steve wedgies, flicked crumpled up pieces of paper at Steve in class, kicked the back of his foot, tweaked his hips, or occasionally just walked up and bit him hard on the shoulder. Steve didn’t seem to mind. Sometimes he only laughed and kissed Billy which made Billy wonder if he knew it was Billy’s strange way of showing affection.

One day Billy finally cracked.

They were alone at a table in the back of the library which was an okay place to be because he could talk dirty in Steve’s ear and play footsie under the table.

“When we get to your place I’m gonna deep throat you so hard,” Billy whispered in Steve’s ear.

“I dunno about that,” Steve said softly. “Haven’t managed it yet.” But there was a wide smile on his face as if he just couldn’t help himself.

“Oh, I’ve been practicing,” Billy said. “Susan keeps wondering where all the bananas are going.”

Steve snorted a laugh into his hand. “You’re full of shit.”

“And you’re…cocky. Mmmm.”

“Yeah, well you’d know better than anybody,” Steve said.

“Man. What happened to the sweet Harrington I knew?” Billy said. “Used to be so innocent til I corrupted you.”

“You wish.”

“I don’t have to wish,” Billy said, whispering, careful. “I remember the first time I rode you til you were crying my name.” He grinned but his face fell a little at the way Steve tensed up, cheeks flushed.

“Don’t act like it’s…” Steve frowned. “Don’t make fun of it like that. That was…”

“I’m not,” Billy said quickly. “I mean…” What did he mean? He was losing the thread. He wanted to keep things light. Easy. Things were so much harder when they were serious. He licked his lips and tried to switch into a Smooth Operator mode. “Hey…You know, I love you, baby.”

NO.

Fuck fuck FUCK.

That’s now what he’d meant to say and it hadn’t even come out right. He sounded dead serious.

But now Steve only smiled again and said as if it were nothing: “Yeah, I know. I love too. Just…that night meant a lot to me, alright? Thought you were giving me shit.”

Billy just stared at him and finally Steve did a little double-take and said, “Hey. What’s wrong?”

“You…” Billy looked around. There was nobody anywhere near them. Neil was miles away at work. It was just him and Steve and Billy trusted Steve. More than he’d ever thought he could. So he found his voice and said, “You love me?”

Steve looked at him like he was nuts. “Yeah? Obviously? I know I don’t…say it much. Kinda shell-shocked from, ya know…”

“Wheeler,” Billy supplied.

“Yeah… But-”

“You’ve never said it.”

“Sure I have,” Steve said, but now his eyes flicked around like he was searching for a memory. “Haven’t I?”

“No,” Billy said, almost offended. “I know, because I didn’t want to say it first.”

“You say it all the time,” Steve said, laughing.

“No, I don’t,” Billy said. “What’re you talking about?”

“Like when you…” Steve scratched his chin and now he blinked. “Huh. I could swear… Well. Okay. I guess I just…felt like you were saying it. Like you’re so cute about things. You get all nervous and do some dumb shit like gimme a raspberry on my stomach and it… feels like you’re saying you love me? I dunno. Maybe I’m nuts.”

Billy heaved a dramatic sigh and crossed his arms. “No. That’s pretty much true. I guess.”

“Look at you pouting,” Steve said, and he kissed the tip of Billy’s nose. “It’s so cute. I love you.”

Billy felt his cheeks burning up.

“Oh, are we saying it all the time now?” Billy snarked.

“Yeah.”

“Fine.” Billy cleared his throat and murmured, “Love you, Harrington.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Dick.”

#harringrove #harringrove ficlet

[isisisak]

Okay I was just stalking you (in a totally not weird way) but I saw you staying something about someone writing a drabble about Isak being self conscious about his reading glasses and even adoring it and I fell like you would be the best person to write it so idk you do you but it'd be cute 💕

halla dear deaar anon!! i love this so so much that you say you want me to try it out :B im honored! I did grin a lot when i got this prompt but then was flooded and then sick and then stressed and basically what i wanna say is im sorry this took 59 years There it was again. The headache that always started after a while in the evening. Annoyed Isak frowned down at the book he was reading. In the past few weeks, everytime they spent their evening with reading together in bed (sometime Even sketched or wrote stuff down but thats not the point here) Isak’s head began to hurt after a little while.He shut and then rubbed at his eyes with his fist. God this was annoying. And he had no idea where it could come fro- 

“Baby? I think you need glasses.” … ok so Even obviously had an idea where it could come from. “Hm?” He dropped the book carelessly beside the bed and settled on his side, looking up at Even with squinted eyes. “You always rub your eyes and start to frown when you read longer than thirty minutes.” With the hand that still held the pencil he used to draw, Even crombed a few curls out of Isak’s forehead (which sprang back instantly). “I don’t need glasses.” First he rolled then he closed his eyes, snuggled a bit closer to Even and sighed. “Nerds wear glasses.” He mumbled. To be honest that’s rediculous and he knows that but he was exhausted, headachy and his come backs weren’t at his best right now. Sue him.  Even just snorted. “You are a nerd.” Isak threw a glare at his grinning boyfriend. “Fuck you.” With that he turned around. Even laughed but Isak heard him move around (probably to get rid of the things he had in his lab) and shortly after he followed Isak, throwing an arm around him and pulling him close. “I’m sorry, baby.” His voice was muffled because he burried his face in Isak’s neck. “I bet you’d look hot with glasses.”  So, Isak got glasses. Isak hated his glasses. The pair he decided on were simple, a dark dark brown that looked almost black but worked with the notes in his hair (those were the words of the girl who adviced them.) Not too big but also not very small. Did they make his nose look very prominent, though? He asked Jonas several times if he maybe looked like one of those joke-glasses with the nose and the brows attached. 

Jonas just snorted and rolled his eyes after the fifteenth time. “God, you’re so needy. Even spoils you too much. You look good, Isak. Relax.” Fucking Jonas. ‘Relax‘. Pfft. As if that was so easy. What if Even hated it? He must’ve asked that out loud because Jonas threw his hands up exasperatedly “Then why did you not go with him to choose a pair?”Isak scrunched his face up dramatically and also lifted his hands (for a second they looked like two cancers having a stand off). “Because I wanted an honest neutral opinion! And not ‘Oh my god Baby you look amazing’ commetns to even the most hideous glasses.” Isak explained and Jonas nodded in a way that said ok, fair. “But there you have it. He will dig no matter what kind you get or how ugly you look.” Isak sighed but nodded. Yeah, he knew that. Rationally he knew that. But there still where about one gazillion butterflies (or, it felt more like tanks) rummaging around in his stomach when he opened their flat door. “Even?” The call was met with Even who skitted around the corner, limbs too long and sliding a bit on his sock clad feet. His face was pure excitement and then it fell. “What? Where are the glasses?” Isak chuckled despite his nerves (because, adorable) and gave the bag in his hand a little shake. “Halla.” He stepped closer to Even and tilted his head up. Even quickly complied and hastily answered “Halla, baby. Now show me the glasses!” 

Taking a little steadying breath Isak pulled out the little etui that held his new glasses. Even hummed. “Looks fancy already.” Isak let out a breathless laugh.  “Should I close my eyes? I feel like I should close my eyes.” Even grinned and closed his eyes. Isak looked at him for a second, then forced himself to put the glasses on. A second went by. Another one. Even frowned. “Babe?” “Oh, fuck sorry, uh, open.”  So, Even did. Isak tried to catch his initial reaction. To see if Even maybe did hate them and how it looked and afterwards would hide the fact how much or lessen the blow. But: Even’s eyes widened the slightest bit and his mouth first fell into a small O-shape then transformed into a grin. “Faen, Isak!” Even moved the remaining step of distance closer and cupped his face in his hands. “You look so hot. Fy faen, so so hot.” Isak got five hard pecks to his lips after that and then couldn’t help a little breathless “Yeah?” His mouth moved into a  sheepish sideways smile. “Yeah.” Even answered, no hesitation. And the way Even looked at him to take his new look in - blue eyes intense and looking like he wanted to devour or inhale Isak whole - Isak felt hot, too.  

“You can’t wear them in school, though.” Even said and shook his head. “I won’t be there to defend you from all the swooning suiters.” 

Isak rolled his eyes but grinned at the praise as he circled his arms around Even’s middle. “I will almost only wear them in school. They’re reading glasses, Even.” 

Even pouted at that and bumped their noses together. “At least don’t take them off today. Or better yet,” Even paused to give Isak another peck, this one softer “tonight.” 

Isak raised his brows suggestively and Even winked (or, well, he tried but ended up just blinking with both eyes). So, yeah, you could say Even liked the glasses. A lot. A lot lot. (Also, when asked if it made his nose stand out, Even did not shut up about The Squish™ and how it should be put into the spotlight 24/7 for over two hours.)  

#isak x even #isak valtersen #even bech næsheim #evak #skam #isi's hcs #i loved that prompt :b #thank you #also @ the anon who sent this: i would really really like to hear from you if you saw it ... just a little saw it would be enough just sldk #im so nervous that you left the fandom or unfollowed me or anything and will miss it and that wouldnt be too bad but then id feel guiltier #for taking so long #im rambling now anyway hmu

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: I thought you were back??! Janis: I've just gone to 🐕🏃 Janis: didn't fancy hockey in the freezing cold when I could be 💰 instead Grace: oh okay Janis: Mia will have to try and kneecap me another time Grace: 🙄 please Grace: like she has the energy to go after us both Janis: Yeah, you might wanna make whatever alibi for NY you have watertight Janis: they were cooking up their version of event in physics Grace: that was days ago, everyone's talking about you and your boyfriend again now, babes Grace: not my 🤢 🤮 🤧 🤒 Janis: then you're welcome Janis: but it ain't just bugs bunny who's slow on the uptake, much as they'd like to portray Grace: she can't prove I wasn't sick, she wishes Janis: send me an anon, if you want Janis: about what I did, throw something in about getting you soup or some bollocks Grace: cos that worked SO WELL when Ella tried it Grace: it's fine, I wasn't in the mood to go anywhere or post anything Janis: 1. you aren't as blatant as they are 2. people wanna know what I'm up to, idiot, it's not like 'hi pls tell me what your sister grace was doing between the hours of 8-2 on new years tah' Grace: literally nobody is but whatever Grace: 1 sec Grace: [sending those anons like] Grace: 👌👌?? Janis: don't need to tell me Janis: [does the responses] Janis: there you go Grace: 💜 Janis: yeah, crisis well adverted Grace: neither of us are in crisis, you're 😍😍 & I'm 🙄🏑 Janis: 👌👌 Janis: far as any cunt's concerned Grace: yeah Janis: I'm at his house Grace: cute Janis: he's not here Janis: said I could stay though Janis: if I need Grace: like I said, it's beyond obvious he cares Janis: you think it's weird Grace: ?? Janis: him and me Grace: why would I think it's weird and why would you care? Janis: Alright, what do you think then Grace: I literally just said how cute you were Janis: you say that about things usually when you don't mean it Janis: it's a them thing you've picked up Grace: excuse you, you'd know if I didn't mean it Grace: I've never once come at you telling you to dump him Grace: it'd be a big thing like !!!!!!!!! Grace: having no chill is a me thing Janis: if I was one of the gals, sure Janis: you and me don't do that Grace: UM hello, you're my sister Grace: you wouldn't listen to me but I'd still TRY Grace: if he was like the worst ever Janis: you don't reckon he's Liam 2.0 then? Grace: why are you even bringing him up? Janis: nans got a shit poker face Janis: she looked like she'd seen a 👻 when she met him Janis: briefly Grace: it's nan, babes Grace: she thinks every boy is going to do us dirty in every way possible Grace: with this family's track record she does have a point but like Grace: just no Grace: you're not her, you wouldn't Janis: love made her stupid Janis: she could've done anything and she decided to die in a car crash with a lad who only liked her as much as Ri Grace: & I repeat you're not like her so don't even Janis: not that smart to begin with Grace: shut up Grace: you literally do physics with Mia & Ella Janis: and they're right geniuses that pair Janis: 🙄 Janis: Ella'd learn rocket science if she got to be up Mia's hole Grace: 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: it's not hard, all I'm saying Grace: cos you're not stupid, duh Grace: & he really likes you so stop Janis: what do you mean? Grace: what do you mean, what do I mean? Janis: what should I stop? Grace: I know a freak out when I see one Grace: 👑 of Janis: Got no reason to freak out Grace: exactly so don't Janis: I ain't Grace: 👌👌 sure Janis: what would I be freaking out about? Janis: not broken into his house here, like Grace: idk this is the longest convo we've had in forever Janis: must be the way you accuse me of having mental breakdowns Janis: not very endearing tbh Grace: ha ha Grace: but not even Janis: I shouldn't tell him Janis: about Ana, and all that Janis: should I Grace: he was a church Grace: I don't think he'd be 😱😱😱 Janis: don't paint me in the best light Grace: maybe put the 💬 equivalent of like, a filter on it Grace: if you do tell Janis: I didn't try to kill her, she just slipped Janis: 👍 Grace: it was A LOT Janis: she always is Janis: dunno what kind of cult he found that fucking bitch in though Grace: ugh, let's not Janis: she ain't going to just fuck off Janis: even if Ana is going to sulk thinking I'll come and apologize Grace: well, some of us are being forced to play hockey, hun, instead of having a mental breakdown Janis: you scream if the ball comes near you, I've seen you Grace: I don't want to have to hit it 💅! Janis: exactly, don't act like you're busy Grace: I'm not saying I'm busy, I'm saying I'm not trying to be busy 😢😢 thanks Janis: fuck all to cry about Janis: that's the point Janis: I'm not pretending her kids, or any of the fucking others, mean anything to me Janis: or he did Grace: if that's how you feel don't tell barista boy any of it, end of convo Grace: it was just family drama, no specifics Janis: of course that's how I feel Janis: shouldn't be surprising Grace: I'm not surprised Janis: you're an idiot if you feel any different Grace: you can stop, it's not like I want any of them to exist either Janis: someone needs to back me up Janis: you know full well Ri won't stop seeing her, and Junior ain't about and if he were he'd do fuck all as well Grace: okay so what are we going to do? Janis: that's what we need to work out Janis: why should they be the only ones allowed to talk about him Janis: how amazing he was Grace: she's the loudest Grace: if we could be louder then Janis: it's a joke and everyone around us fucking knows it Janis: someone needs to lay it out for her, finally face it, for what it actually is Janis: who he was Grace: but she's never gonna hear it from either of us like that Grace: it would literally have to come from god, babes Janis: maybe it can Janis: hmm Janis: leave it with me, but think what you want to say Grace: ??! Grace: obviously I'll 🤔🤔 though Janis: might take a while Janis: but fuck it Janis: she ruined my new years Grace: yeah, mine too Janis: would've been a shite party anyhow Grace: that's totally not the point Janis: put it in your letter Janis: already got enough people in a mood with me Grace: fine Janis: fuck sake Grace: UM rude, why are you swearing at me? Janis: because it ain't my fault Grace: I'm not blaming you for what happened Grace: I was there Janis: I told her to get out of my way Janis: she should've, simple as Grace: I know Grace: I was freaking out too, she deliberately ambushed us Janis: you didn't cunt punt her though so you know Grace: yeah but you'd be on my side if I did so Janis: if you do it now it will look like you're copying me, just fyi Grace: & I've never been accused of that before ever 🙄 I think I'd find a way to cope Janis: hardly the sister you copy now Janis: don't need to know the ins and outs to see that Grace: cos nobody EVER brings up the past 🙄🙄 Grace: beyond focused on only 💬 about us now, like Janis: that's why I've given them something to talk about Grace: & that's great for you, babes Janis: not like you can't Grace: not in the same way Janis: not unless there's another new kid any time soon Grace: not holding my breath Janis: it's not the only way Grace: 😂😂 what else am I gonna do?? Janis: depends Janis: they're gonna chat shit, regardless, that's obvious Janis: what would you rather they said Grace: is that like, a trick question?? Janis: why would it be Grace: UM it's a little too late for me to try & overhaul what people 💬 about me, hun Janis: hardly Janis: stuck here for another 3 Janis: you could have a totally different rep in that time Grace: hardly Grace: ALL the receipts exist Janis: 🙄 Grace: you have NO idea Janis: yeah Janis: 'course I don't Grace: so are you done trying to make me a better person or ?? Janis: I'm not trying to do shit Janis: if you're gonna cry about it, you could at least try Janis: that's the point Janis: don't complain if you ain't Grace: if I wanna talk about my rep, grandma & god are ALWAYS available Grace: you brought it up Grace: literally all I said was congrats on your 😍😍 Janis: your rep is 😢😢 and freakouts Janis: you said Grace: no I didn't Grace: I said I know a freakout when I see one Janis: well it is Janis: we all get chatted on Janis: if all you want to do is cry about it that's your look out but no one is gonna feel sorry for you Janis: least of all me Grace: I didn't ask Grace: for your opinion or sympathy Janis: yeah, people NOT looking for sympathy 👑 themselves queen of 😭😱 Janis: good luck with that, really working in your favour Grace: I'm talking to you not tweeting it out but sure Grace: thanks Janis: you think it's a secret? Janis: pretty sure your own friends and any guy you'd ever fucked wouldn't treat you like shit if you didn't reek of the desperation of it all Grace: grandma being literally the worst, which is all we were talking about when I said I was 😢😢 is as close to a secret as this family gets Grace: but 👌 attack me Janis: I'm not interested in living this lie with you rn Janis: you cry all the time Grace: &? Grace: you get angry all the time, I'm not judging you Janis: and this is why no one has anything to say about you Grace: whatever, Janis Grace: I didn't come here for this Grace: 👋 Janis: 😢😢 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you're a fucking joke, Grace Grace: this whole family is Grace: 👏 that you changed the news cycle for a sec Janis: 👏 that you're less interesting than Mia and Ella and all they do is slowly starve themselves to death Janis: people aren't going to forget suddenly that you belong to this family, just 'cos you try to blend into the walls Grace: like I said, you have no idea Janis: Yeah, I do Janis: we all get talked about, I did when I was doing literally nothing Grace: not about me & it's not like you care so just focus on yourself Grace: my rep is my problem Janis: it is your problem if you can't take the tiniest bit of initiative and see that being a lesser version of Rio is just going to make people talk about her more Grace: people aren't going to stop talking about her just cos I have a fake personality overhaul Janis: it's about the comparison Janis: you don't wanna be your own person, no? Janis: carry on getting Mia to dress you Grace: 😂😂 mhmmmm cos we all just get to be our own person Grace: if I'm not compared to her, it's Edie or you Janis: yeah, wild how no one is mistaking you 2 for sisters Janis: no amount of her leftovers is gonna make you exempt Janis: try getting crippled, evidently worked for Billie Janis: get a sex change, Junior who? Grace: hilarious Janis: we all got our lot Janis: and they're getting bored of their charity work with you Janis: what are you gonna do then, huh? Grace: yeah & yours is nothing like mine so stop coming for my life Janis: we're literally twins Grace: oh please Janis: sorry, not much can be done about it now Grace: duh Janis: 🧱 Grace: 👌👌 Janis: fuck this Grace: 👋 Janis: 🖕 Grace: 💜

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ava

Grace: I'm here in your postcode so like hmu if you need help Grace: after being a babysitter FOREVER kids crafts are TOTALLY my thing Ava: There's glitter on everything Ava: I'm going to have to pay to get their house professionally cleaned after this, I swear Grace: before you do I have to bring the boy over & 'accidentally' cover him Grace: cos he literally will not decide on a costume Ava: Yeah, he's crap at costumes Ava: I don't think I've even seen him in the obligatory devil horns Ava: mess up the hair, probably Grace: I mean, if my hair ever looked that good that'd be so relatable Grace: 😍😍 Ava: n'awh 😏 Ava: I'm glad someone appreciates the effort he goes to with the bleach Ava: god knows what I'm going to wear, the standard Halloween ideas aren't really applicable for a kid's birthday Grace: I love him but I hate him Grace: his eyelashes are better than mine as well Grace: right?! if his mum sees me in a lbd & cat ears she'll hate me more than she already does Grace: we could do joint costumes of a 🔪 in our backs though 🙄😂 Ava: What's she like? Grace: so rude Grace: she NEVER talks to me but the judgement is REAL 👀🔪 Grace: poor & a reformed hoe!? not in her house, honey Ava: and you didn't even homewreck her son's marriage so Ava: this is gonna be fun Grace: but I will if she tries to marry him off to some beautiful, rich, virgin or whatever Ava: I don't think they're that old school 😂 Ava: only if he managed to get a virgin pregnant Grace: don't even Grace: it's literally the one thing that would maybe score me points with her & I can't talk about it Ava: as satisfying as it'd be to throw out when she's being the most judgmental Ava: not worth it Ava: but you are gonna come, right? Ava: James wasn't sure Grace: yeah, I'm not trying to have a breakdown at her dining table soooooo Grace: of course we are, he practically begged me onto a flight to not have to go alone Grace: his sister has like 5 kids & Teddy can't deal with any of them Grace: what happens when you 👰👴 I guess Ava: Yeah Ava: I heard Ava: I just want them to have a good time Ava: James and the kids Grace: they will Grace: you've done amazing so far setting it all up Ava: there's nothing I can do to jazz up the guestlist Ava: it's bad enough that she might show but we can't plan for it Grace: Teddy thinks she will & Jay will have a meltdown, that's why he's totally dreading it Ava: I don't think she will Grace: idk but he's convinced Grace: he says she LOVES to make an entrance & bring drama Ava: Potentially Ava: I think she doesn't care enough about the kids, but that she doesn't intentionally want to hurt them Ava: just James Ava: there are better ways, after all, her parents are going to be there, they'd stop her before she could really do anything Grace: 🤞🏽 cos that does make sense Grace: & we all want you to be right, no offense to the bae Ava: If she's going to come back, she will, it'll have to be faced Ava: whether we're wearing cat ears or not Grace: yeah but like a 👶🎂 is not it Grace: even she must know that Ava: None of this is Grace: how's James? Ava: he's doing good Ava: considering Ava: it's a lot Grace: mhmm Grace: I'm avoiding Rio & Buster rn for a reason Ava: Yeah, he's mad at me Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: don't even worry he's mad at everyone for everything Grace: except Ri, duh Grace: like you said, it's a lot Ava: well it's kind of special circumstances Ava: he thinks I've picked a side Grace: cos it's that simple Grace: he's so extra & that's coming from me Ava: Maybe it is Grace: he wishes it was Grace: but it's not you & James vs him & Ri Ava: It's not that Ava: I just Ava: I don't think I agree with what he wants Grace: you want Jay to stay where she is Ava: Yes Ava: I think he's only thinking about himself Grace: well yeah, when isn't he? Ava: It's different Ava: it's two lives he could ruin Ava: three, Mattie too Grace: he's always done exactly what he wants however many lives it could ruin Grace: literally all you can do is keep trying to get through to him Ava: Yeah, that'll work Ava: like you said, he'll do what he wants Ava: but James won't just let her go, and if it goes to court, how has he proved he's a decent father? Ava: he's not acknowledged her, the possibility Ava: it wouldn't be as cut and dry as he wants it to be Grace: nothing is ever that cut & dry but ugh try telling Buster or Ri that Ava: Exactly Ava: isn't having Venus when they shouldn't enough Grace: don't even get me started Grace: it's such a mess Ava: it isn;t fair Ava: James raised her, stepped up Ava: had to deal with Chloe Ava: no one has the right to take her away now Grace: exactly Grace: they love each other Grace: you can't just break that bond like it doesn't exist Ava: for one that doesn't Ava: I don't want to pick sides, I love him, he's my brother Ava: but I can't say I'm okay with it right now, when I'm not Grace: he's being a selfish idiot rn though, you can say it to me, babes Grace: she's got a whole family here Ava: I know it's fucked, that Chloe told him he wasn't the dad Ava: but I can't get over that she told him he was Ava: you don't just Ava: why did he trust her the second time and not the first Ava: how could that be for anything but selfish reasons Grace: it's literally cos he wanted to Grace: & he's totally fixated on the wrong things, what does blood matter anyway? Grace: Billie's my sister not any one of the kids my dad had scattered across Dublin Ava: Maybe Rio said she'd leave him? Ava: but still, then he made his choice Ava: ugh Ava: I hate it Grace: me too Grace: everything is so Grace: fucked Grace: always Ava: how was your birthday anyway Ava: did you and Teddy do something nice? Grace: he did spoil me cos he knows my birthday is the literal worst & I tried not to brag TOO hard on socials Ava: Good Ava: you're only 16 once Grace: it's so weird Grace: being her age Ava: I thought about that Ava: on her birthday Ava: that she'd have only been 20 Ava: it seems so long ago, somehow Grace: like unless I die too now, I'm gonna be older than her Ava: they could take Libi if they want another child so bad Ava: alright, that was bitchy but nan and granddad won't be around forever either, I know they're not old old but Grace: they tried that already, so not really that bitchy Grace: god, she looks so much like her I actually can't breathe sometimes Ava: It's crazy Ava: and how big she is already Grace: did you see the 🎃 patch pics? It's wild, she's even dressed like Edie as a kid Grace: calm down nan Ava: I know Ava: I wish she had to chance to know her Ava: and her dad, of course Grace: yeah, I wish I'd known her better & I had way longer than Libi Ava: Like Billie's mum Ava: it's just sad Grace: idk maybe you get to 90 & you're still like I wish....whatever Grace: but like you said, it's unfair & I hate it Ava: It's never going to be something you can make peace with Ava: well, I don't think Ava: her life wasn't finished, it had only just started Grace: I don't think I wanna make peace with it anyway, it's not okay & none of us should just be okay with it Grace: but I can't cry rn so Ava: Me either Ava: I have too many sandwiches to make Grace: are you at home? I'll come over Ava: I'm at his but you can come over Ava: help me load up the car Grace: 👌🏽 omw Ava: You can have a cake pop early Ava: don't tell Jay Grace: 😂🤫 Ava: or more aptly, don't tell James she's already conned me out of two Grace: he'll definitely be able to tell when she's climbing the walls Grace: unless you've made a really convincing 🕷 costume too Ava: I know, I know Ava: it's bad Ava: but I don't think a little bit of excitement would actually hurt right now Ava: she's got to carry it, it's not like Mattie really has much of a clue what's going on yet Grace: & you don't want her feeling jealous & left out that you threw her baby sister such a great party Grace: that's the worst Ava: Yeah, she had hers in the Summer and it wasn't the best time, obviously Ava: I've tried to make sure she feels involved anyway Grace: Teddy can't believe how good you are with her, speaking of jealousy 😂 Ava: Kids pick up on your awkwardness, don't they Ava: like animals Ava: he just needs to fake it 'til he makes it Grace: mhmmm Grace: I told him it'll get easier the more time he spends with both of them, but you know what he's like Ava: Yeah Ava: at least no one is going to accuse him of trying to be their mother 🙄 Grace: 🤞🏽 she won't say it again in front of everyone 🥳🎁 Grace: awkward Ava: it's so patronizing Ava: it's not as if Chloe was a massive help Ava: he's done it himself this whole time, basically Ava: they don't need a mum Grace: she was literally the opposite of helpful Ava: at best she looked after them in the loosest sense of the word when he was at uni or work Ava: but 9/10 they'd end up with her parents so it wasn't as if she could be relied on Grace: are her parents coming? Ava: yeah Ava: I don't think they can even believe that she's done this Ava: gone Ava: I've met them a few times, dropping or picking the girls up, they're nice enough Grace: who'd wanna believe that about their family tbh Grace: but it's good that they're sticking around even though they probably wanna die if they've always been there Grace: the girls need that normality rn Ava: I'm sure they feel awful Ava: though James' family are blaming no one but him so they don't need to worry about judgment Grace: ugh I would kill Teddy if he sided with them Ava: I don't know if James knows he doesn't Grace: really? Grace: 🙄 boys never talk Grace: I'll talk to him, he knows how to show it even if he doesn't wanna say it Grace: they can go to the pub or whatever Ava: Yeah, I like, try not to comment or get involved Ava: know what it's like to have family drama Ava: but that's the feeling I've got anyway, it couldn't hurt them Grace: rich people need a bigger shove to open up, no offence Ava: 😂 it's a class issue, really Grace: in his family there's that whole stiff upper lip thing that I thought was totally not even a thing for the past however many centuries Grace: it's crazy, okay Ava: I know Grace: thank god he's the youngest or his mum would be coming at me to produce an heir Ava: you aren't good enough stock, obvs Ava: 🙄🙄 Grace: & she's only basing that off my 2 jobs & sexual history Grace: if she knew I was actually infertile she'd be giving him constant sti checks & changing the locks Grace: 😱😱 Ava: If you aren't titled and can't trace your family back to the dark ages, then they don't wanna know 🤷 Grace: so weird Ava: just how they are Ava: posh people Grace: yeah, it's wild, you should've seen the look I got when I said you were making sandwiches Grace: the boy does nothing for himself I swear Ava: he doesn't Ava: I've known him long enough Grace: Janis hated him on sight so at least you do actually know him Ava: doesn't really surprise me Grace: she only has 😍 for working class baristas so Ava: all my family hate James so you're doing better than me Grace: they just hate him for you, I've been there every other time Grace: they'll have to get over it & used to him eventually Ava: none of yours were married with two kids Ava: but still, yeah, they will Ava: or they won't, it's not like it's illegal so they can't do anything Grace: he's divorced now & literally deserves to be happy Ava: his happiness isn't their top priority Grace: yours should be though Ava: it is Ava: in that they think it's a mistake and I'll regret it Grace: if it is it's your mistake to make & regret to live with Grace: I've got 100000s Grace: 🤷 Ava: I can see their point, and what they're trying to do, without agreeing with it Ava: because I'm not as immature as they wanna say so Ava: it is what it is Grace: 👏🏽 Ava: I've got to do some homework, when you get here Ava: you don't mind do you Grace: it's fine Ava: it's due monday and I've barely started Grace: as long as Teddy doesn't ignore me for homework too Ava: awh, how could he Grace: idk maybe you're a better influence than me Ava: i'm not going to turn the party into a study sesh, don't worry Grace: 😂 I didn't bring any homework so I'm not worried Grace: I could probably cope with Jay's but I won't be telling her Ava: ✌ Ava: I highly doubt she'll wanna do hers either Grace: she can help me get him in the 🥳🎁🕺🎊 mood then Ava: 🤞 Grace: 🙏🏽