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shijakbuteoda · 3 years

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high five deprivation

PAIRING: werewolf!yeonjun x female demon!reader

GENRE: supernatural au, college au, allusion to soulmate au, enemies to lovers, comedy, fluff

WARNINGS: vulgar language, includes violence & blood

A/N: seeing as it was halloween yesterday in australia i thought to write something appropriate !! i haven’t written anything of this nature before so i hope u like it :D idk how good i am at writing this sorta stuff so lmk what u think lovelies <3

WORD COUNT: 5,000+

SUMMARY: When Yeonjun promptly ignores your high five, an unprecedented rivalry blooms between the pair of you. After some time passes, it comes to your attention that Yeonjun is a werewolf, that he was the additional supernatural presence your abilities had detected, and that your rings... were silver. From this spirals a series of comedic events, and furthermore something more than just a mere friendship between you.

You swore that you would never forgive Yeonjun for his sinful actions.

I mean, how dare he look at your risen hand, and then continue on with his day without so much as returning your high five? What kind of sick person just does that?

Before Yeonjun had so ignorantly dampened your mood, you began your day with a pep to your walk, greeting anyone and everyone who passed you. The sweet summer breeze swept your hair back, the sunlight shining down on you only highlighting your inhumane beauty. Heads turned, people whispered, your confidence was at an extreme high. So when Yeonjun dismissed your high five without a second thought, any notion of joy left your being. Your ego deflated, and you glanced back at Yeonjun’s retreating figure with immense fury.

Your best friend, and anchor in this world full of wretched mortals, Jeong Yunho looked on at the scene with amusement. Sure, you were being dramatic, but come on.. it was just a damn high five - you weren’t asking much of Choi Yeonjun. In an attempt to bring up your spirits, Yunho holds his hand up in the hopes of a high five which you begrudgingly return.

“I’ll shout you an iced coffee?” He proposed, nudging your figure to elicit a response.

You merely reply in the form of a hum, allowing Yunho to drag you along the footpath to get you to your desired location. An iced coffee would do the trick, you supposed.

You return to the college campus not long after getting your iced coffee, bumping into yourself and Yunho’s best friends, who were nothing less than chaotic. It was not unusual for the supernatural to flock together, and the eight of you were just that, the eight excluding Park Seonghwa, who was a mere human but was happy to engage in whatever you suggested due to his naivety.

Jongho asks for the reasoning for the ever-present pout on your face, and Wooyoung takes it upon himself to cozy up to you. He looms over the top of you, head nuzzling into the crook of your neck as you sip at your iced coffee - and he takes that opportunity to sneak a few sips of your coffee himself.

You merely glare at him and slurp at your coffee harshly, to assert some form of dominance over the mischievous boy.

Wooyoung whines, and lets his fangs graze against the side of your neck gently to hopefully gain some more coffee from the whole ordeal. Where some may find it painful, such actions didn’t even register fully to you - after all, being a demon meant that your pain receptors were virtually nonexistent.

“Wooyoung,” You warn, giving him a side-eye as Yunho decides that that moment would be perfect to give them a run down on why your mood was significantly worse than normal. The boys merely laugh at the ordeal, minus Seonghwa who goes out of his way to give you some candies he had bought to give to trick-or-treaters later that night. This provides you with a mood boost, as most of Seonghwa’s actions did.

It is then that a majority of you realise that tonight gave you the opportunity to rid of any disguises, it being Halloween meant that no suspicion would arise if you were to venture the streets with no concealment.

Kim Hongjoong is a witch, which has no telltale features but he took Halloween as an opportunity to live out any stereotypes to their full potential. Park Seonghwa is obviously a human, but he changes up his costume yearly for some form of comic relief, you guessed. Jeong Yunho is an angel, his friendship with all of you obviously strange - but the stereotype that angels did not get along with demons was not the case within your group, Yunho brought out his wings on Halloween as an indicator of his immortality.

Kang Yeosang is an elf, evident through his soft features, silky flowing hair and pointed ears that were captivating to the human eye. Choi San is a demon like yourself, the only evident feature of this being your black eyes, which could shift to red, that encased your sclera and terrified anyone who crossed you. Song Mingi is a nephilim, half angel and half human, the only indicator of his supernatural presence was his angelic features, and the vague outline of wings.

Choi Jongho is a poltergeist, similar to a ghost yet he had the ability to retain a physical form; this is seen through his eyes that often glow white. Jung Wooyoung is a vampire, his piercing red eyes and fangs indicators of his supernatural abilities.

The nine of you were an unlikely group of friends, but you made it work, and you didn’t know what you would do without them.

You discuss your plans for that evening, crashing a Halloween party with Wooyoung’s ability to compel humans - bending their minds to his will, seeming the most entertaining option. The nine of you part ways following this, heading off to your respective classes. San accompanied you to your next lecture, which the pair of you shared as a mutual course.

After taking your seat towards the middle of the classroom, both you and San began catching up on anything that you had missed over the weekend. You let your eyes wander the room whilst San talked, your gaze unwilllngly halting as Choi Yeonjun entered the room, his obnoxious pink hair gaining your attention instantly.

You scoffed, glaring at him and letting San’s voice fade into background noise. Noticing your stare, Yeonjun glances up at you, returning your glower with one of his own.

“Yo, loser. Give me attention.” San pouts upon realising that you had dismissed the last two minutes of his story in favour of glaring at Yeonjun.

You don’t let your gaze wander to Yeonjun again throughout the duration of the lecture, but you can feel two pairs of eyes penetrating your being continually throughout the hour. It came as no surprise to you that it was Yeonjun, and his best friend Choi Soobin.

Soobin grew flustered when you returned his glances at the end of class, but Yeonjun only held your gaze, eyebrow raised curiously. You make note of the time, 5:53pm - you needed to head home. You put aside your ego for a moment to prioritise the party, and time necessary to get ready. Yeonjun snorts at you from your peripherals but you pay him no attention.

Keeping your chin held high, you accompany San out of the room as you made your way across campus to your apartments. Parting ways with him at your door, you let yourself into your shared apartment with Yunho.

Black silk enhanced your figure, intense dark makeup highlighting your ethereal beauty. A pair of horns adorned your head, alongside a pair of black wings extending from your back, alluding to your presence within the depths of Hell. Yunho only chuckled at your stereotypical adaptation of a demon when the pair of you left your rooms to meet in the living room.

His wings span out as you reach the space, and as you do every year; you worry about the hyperrealism of his wings - cautious as to whether a particularly sharp eyed human would notice their authenticity. Yunho sensed your worry,

“Relax, love, only someone who is supernatural themselves can see the full potential of my wings, it’s alright,” He coos, bringing you into a hug and rocking the pair of you from side to side.

You only huffed and pushed him away, collecting anything you needed for the night and ushering Yunho out of the door.

Gliding down the empty back roads of your suburb, you took time to appreciate the minimal stars lighting up the sky as night fell. The convertible roof was down, pushing a cool breeze through the car. Wisps of your hair flew around your face, sticking to your lipgloss occasionally thus provoking you to huff to unstick them due to your occupied hands. Your fingers gripped the steering wheel, Yunho’s forearm resting on the centre console as his fingers occasionally tapped at the leather.

You looked down at the clock in your car, the time reading ‘5:53pm’ for a millisecond before it changes to 8:01pm. Your brows furrowed, the strange reoccurrence in time stirring fear within you. The thought leaves your mind as you reach your destination, almost immediately after stepping out of your car you make eye contact with the one and only Choi Yeonjun.

What you didn’t realise at that moment was that your subconscious begins to subtly associate the time ‘5:53’ with Yeonjun.

Yeonjun’s costume was eerily realistic, piercing green eyes staring back at you. Fur adorned his face, Werewolf costume you supposed. You had never seen such a realistic ensemble, and had never known of a college student to have the time let alone sanity to spend time on such attire, but you didn’t judge. It was no secret that your cohort was known to be competitive, so you chalked his meticulously created costume down to that.

Having bumped into Yeonjun multiple times throughout the party you were evidently having less fun than anticipated, you were too proud of yourself to let go of his actions even though you knew that you were being overdramatic. So, the rest of the night was spent avoiding Yeonjun. That was, until he bumped into you, splashing alcohol across your costume and bringing a look of incredulity to your face.

Yeonjun’s eyes flickered with surprise, but any expression was soon wiped from his face as you pushed past him to go clean yourself up.

Not even a word was exchanged between the pair of you, and your anger clouded any other logical emotions within your mind - so much so that you didn’t notice Yeonjun wince as you brushed past him, your silver chains loosely swinging to collide with his bare skin; another part of his costume.. he had come in a crop top. Where you had a bad impression of Yeonjun, you couldn’t deny how attractive he was upon seeing his lack of hypermasculinity, it was cute how comfortable he was with his femininity. But no one needed to know that you thought that.

You lock yourself in the host’s bathroom, ignoring the incessant pounding on it that comes every so often. It was a good thing you were wearing black, but it wasn’t a pleasant feeling having your clothes stick to you - the smell that came along with it even worse. What in the world had the host mixed that could produce such a smell?

After taking longer than necessary to calm your infuriation, you took notice of how much time had passed since someone had demanded to be let in the bathroom door to do god knows what. You presumed something illegal when your hand brushed against the basin, white traces of residue sticking to the pads of your fingers. No judgement from your side however, you had seen far worse; considering you were from the depths of hell.

Opening the door, you almost knock someone off of their feet as they stood in the doorway, blocking anyone whom was trying to get in. The tall frame of Huening Kai stumbled from your direct line of view, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion yet again.

“Uhm, hi!” His voice cracks, flustered by your sudden exit “Yeonjun told me to check on you, so I thought to wait for you here, are you doing okay?”

You almost roll your eyes, of course Yeonjun’s pride prevented him from offering you assistance himself - even though he was the one who put you in this predicament.

“Tell pretty boy that I’m fine, and that he can ‘check on’ me himself if he is so worried,” You suggested, nodding your head at Kai as a farewell.

It was bold of you to assume that Kai would leave you alone after that, as he immediately began to follow after you. You couldn’t deny that it was cute, he was similar to a puppy, innocent and continually joyous.

“Ah, please don’t misunderstand Yeonjun!” He starts, “He just has a hard time communicating with others sometimes, so your first impression of him may be.. stale but I promise you he’s the opposite.”

You barely even acknowledge Kai’s lingering presence and instead nod, even the oblivious Kai noticing the sardonic nature of your actions. He lets up after that, allowing you to blend into the rest of the partygoers. A sigh falls from his lips, unknowing to you; not giving up as easily as you had anticipated.

Since the night of the party, your friends had been teasing you to no end. Wooyoung even going as far as to attempt (keyword: attempt) to use his compelling abilities on you despite knowing that they wouldn’t work. When this obviously didn’t go as planned, Mingi dared you to try and high five Yeonjun again as you passed him. To their joy, you were incapable of not taking part in a dare... some may call you a daredevil.. ha, get it? That was bad, sorry.

Their happiness only heightened when they spied Yeonjun and his four companions walking in your general direction. Begrudgingly, you walk ahead of your friends, holding your hand out to warrant a high five, and Yeonjun ignores it.... again. Kai instead steps up as to not leave you hanging.

From behind you is stifled laughter, Yeosang had evidently done the same as you, putting his hand up to Yeonjun for a high five. To your displeasure, Yeonjun returned it. You looked on with an expression that you could only describe as exasperated.

The eyes of 13 boys linger on your figure as you stomp away, pride wounded once again. Kai pouted as he watched you leave, knowing that your impression of Yeonjun had only worsened.

To your surprise, it is not one of your own friends who follows you, but it is one of Yeonjun’s. Kai grins cheekily at you as you make eye contact, and takes your hand in his gently. You yank your hand from his, not knowing him well enough to allow for any form of physical affection to bloom between the pair of you. But he persists, gripping onto your wrist and slowly pulling your rings from your fingers. He sets them in your hand, the silver glinting in the minimal lights of the hallway, Kai then promptly takes his leave.

You stand there on your lonesome, glancing down at your rings. Kai had definitely left you with something valuable to think about.

You couldn’t believe that you were so stupid as to allow for not one, but two supernatural presences to pass by you without any recognition. Those beings werewolves of all things; Choi Soobin and Choi Yeonjun had even been in their true forms in front of you at the party but you reduced this to the ‘competitive’ nature of your cohort.

There was no doubt in you that Lucifer would be disappointed with you and your ignorance, I mean, you are one of the strongest beings in the underworld, so your competency was to be expected.

Yunho broke your inner turmoil as he knocked gently on your door, bringing in a plate of food that he had prepared. While food was unnecessary to both demons and angels, it brought you comfort. Eating was also something you did to distract yourself at times such as this.

Yunho sat beside you on your bed, letting you spout your worries to him as the pair of you came up with a plan to hide your incompetency in one way or another.

The next time you saw Yeonjun was in circumstances you had not anticipated, you had come to your regular lecture, but San was not there. Soobin was also absent. So inevitably, your professor had partnered the pair of you up for an interactive segment of your course.

Yeonjun and yourself held awkward eye contact as you both tried to determine who was to go to who, and Yeonjun was ultimately the one to take initiative. So rather than have the hyperactive Choi San accompany you through the lecture, it was instead another Choi, Yeonjun.

Conversation flowed easily as the pair of you discussed your work, maybe it wasn’t uncomfortable as the chat did not centre around anything personal. But it still worked out better than either of you had expected. The pair of you finished the set workload quite fast, with 20 minutes left of your lecture.

“Hell yeah!” You exclaim, impulsively reaching your hand out to Yeonjun, whom returned it with no second thoughts.

Yeonjun flinched as his hand came into contact with yours, expecting the fresh sting of silver to shock him to his senses. But he was met with the cool material of gold brushing against his skin, the sting instead coming from the strength of your palm crashing against his. You had a knack to undermine your power at times, but with Yeonjun being a werewolf he was rather desensitised to pain - just not at the level of a demon such as yourself who felt no pain whatsoever.

Yeonjun looked at you in amazement, the pair of you giggling silently to yourselves as you cleared up any building tension from the past few weeks with a mere hand touch.

A loud thump gained a few head turns as Yeonjun’s skull came into contact with the desk in front of you, due to his failed attempts to suppress any laughter that dared to spill out. You only glared at anyone who turned to you, it was as if you were saying ‘What the fuck are you looking at?’ but.. with your eyes. A few girls let their stares linger on the pair of you in jealousy, there was no doubt that Yeonjun had quite the fanbase at your University. You only dismissed their glances with a flick of your wrist, threatening physical violence if they were to disturb you any further.

Yeonjun lifts his head, “So... you know I’m.... right?”

You only look at him with a blank face and respond with, “What? A part of the LGBTQ+ community, or a werewolf?”

Yeonjun returns your same blank look, “Not denying either,” and the pair of you share a cheeky glance before letting out soft giggles at your somewhat secretive conversation.

That day marked the start of your friendship, the pair of you exchanging numbers and messaging the minute you split up on campus. From there you planned to hang out at the local arcade, and then as it grew late you would migrate to your apartment where you would binge horror movies.

On both seperate occasions wherein you told your friends your plans, and Yeonjun told his, it was as if their minds were synced. Your eight friends shared knowing glances. Yeonjun’s four friends shared knowing glances. They merely hummed when you tried to tell them that it was a ‘friend’ thing, not having any of your excuses. You soon gave up and let them think what they wished to, it was difficult changing their minds after all.

You meet Yeonjun outside of the arcade at 4:00pm, and soon lose track of time as the pair of you play any and every game within the arcade. Sure, it may be a waste of money considering some of the games were rigged, but it was worth it because of how much joy - nostalgia even, it brought the pair of you.

Yeonjun had challenged you to a game of ‘Dance Dance Revolution’ when one of the employees alerted you that there wasn’t much time before they closed. The pair of you shared a knowing stare and immediately started up your game, aiming to at least try out two others before you had to leave.

Yeonjun obviously ended up winning Dance, Dance, Revolution much to your dismay. But you were quick to make him aware that you were a mere three points behind him, and you didn’t let him forget that fact. It almost seemed as if the pair of you were in a war with your prides, inflating and deflating each other’s egos continually.

You then finish up a game of air hockey in record speed, you taking the victory and not letting Yeonjun forget it once again. The pair of you then partake in a game of Arcade Hoops, yourself and Yeonjun with a mutual score of 83, the third tie that you shared that evening. It was then that the store clerk came by again, telling you to pack up as the store closed in less than ten minutes.

You glance down at the time on your phone, ‘5:53pm’ glaring back up at you. A weird feeling settles within you as you take note of the continual reoccurrence of the time... and how you are always within a short distance of Yeonjun when you view it. You simply shrug off this feeling and reduce it to being a coincidence, everything would be okay, right?

“Holy shit, you’re sick at games!” Yeonjun almost screams in astonishment, and you only smirk,

“Comes with the age, sweetheart.” You jested, alluding to your immortality as a Knight of Hell, and a past Queen of Hell, but that’s a whole different story in itself.

Yeonjun goes silent at that, eyes narrowing at you in a joking manner, “You’ve had all this time to practice, and yet I still managed to beat you at some games? Gee, some immortal you are,” he chided.

You push him off of the footpath into the grass as a response, making him lose his balance and bump into a passerby. Your senses are on high alert with that, noting the presence of not one but multiple demons within your vicinity, alongside that the lack of humans in the area.

Yeonjun turns to retaliate but stops upon seeing the blank expression on your face, the look on your face stirring fear within him despite him also being a supernatural being. Talk about Big Dick Energy, huh.

You then note how the presence of demons seemingly surrounds you, attempting to make you feel small and intimidated but it does quite the opposite. You applaud them, I mean, challenging a Knight of Hell is a big job, but you also snort inwardly at their stupidity. If their powers were a Level 10, yours were a Level 500k+. The scraggly sixteen of them didn’t throw you off at all, it only provided you with entertainment as you knew that there was no way they’d overpower you, especially with Yeonjun by your side.

“Aw, look at your little bitch, my Queen,” One of them sneers, and Yeonjun lunges at him teasingly in retaliation, intimidating him enough for the demon to take a few steps back.

“What is it that you want this time? Mad that I’m the Devil’s right hand and you’re not?” You question blankly, eyes flashing red to assert your hierarchical status.

A female demon steps up at that, throwing herself onto you which does nothing to waiver your confidence. You only use your biokinesis to alter her biological makeup, which results in her spitting up blood. Blood then begins to leak from her eyes and onto the concrete.

A few other demons come at you in a similar fashion, taking your actions as a cue to start their attack, and you take this opportunity to showcase your array of supernatural abilities. Biokinesis where you make someone explode or bleed, pyrokinesis where you set them on fire, thermokinesis where your skin becomes hot to the touch and results in third degree burns, mental manipulation wherein you made demons up and leave their ringleader, sedation where they drop to the floor, unconscious, molecular combustion where the demon is reduced to dust. The extent of your abilities was almost endless, much to the amazement of Yeonjun.

You take out all of the demons except for one, who you assume is the absolute genius behind this plan. He cowers, and tumbles back as you draw closer to him, “I would say that you were to regret that, but you won’t be feeling anything in a few minutes.”

You mutter a few phrases, exorcising the demon, leaving an innocent human staring up at you. Snapping your fingers you clear their memory of the time that the demon inhabited them, “You have been missing for six months, off you go.” The human stands up and walks away at a leisurely pace, observing their surroundings with confusion.

You stand up straighter at that, snapping your fingers to rid of any evidence of the happenings, and to clean your clothes that were drenched with blood. Thankfully the demons were all in vessels, inhabiting another human made it much easier for you to rid of them. More often than not the bodies were close to death nonetheless, so even if you exorcised them all the humans they were inhabiting would likely die as a result. You dust your hands off, proud of the show you put on in front of Yeonjun.

Not to give yourself the full credit, however. You noted that Yeonjun had also taken part in the fight; scratching or biting at the demons as they attacked the pair of you. Yeonjun found himself feeling nothing but rage as he saw the nature in which the demons threw themselves at you. Red clouded his vision, in both a mental and physical sense, as he retaliates.

You turn to Yeonjun, smirking as you catch him already staring at you in astonishment. His eyes sparkle, and his mouth is wide open in a dazed grin. Not knowing what to say you burst out the over-used, “Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” and Yeonjun instantly grows flustered.

You take that moment to take out your phone, shooting a message to Lucifer - yes, the Devil, he’s quite with the ages. The oldie had evolved alongside society, keeping up to date with all of the current trends. He immediately responds to your text and tells you that he’ll take care of the demons, their opposition lacking total relevance seeing as they were almost instantly killed off.

You pocket your phone and turn to Yeonjun, “To my apartment we go, then. Shall we?” You extend your arm to him, and he interlocks his with yours confusedly, were you not even going to address what just happened?

Since that night, the pair of you indefinitely began to develop feelings for one another. As much was obvious to your friends as well, who teased you about it at every opportunity they got.

You found yourself thinking of Yeonjun more often, finding his reactions from that night adorable, and his protectiveness of you ever so precious. You saw many sides of him that night, even his soft side who still startled at the jump scares in horror movies. Alongside his confidence, wherein he began snuggling up to you as he realised that you had an arm across his shoulders to comfort him.

Yeonjun found himself thinking of you even more from that moment as well, not that he hadn’t before seeing as he had harboured a crush on you for months beforehand. He thought your independence was admirable, and your skills.. dare he say it, sexy. He noted that his first impression of you was far from the truth, where you were externally tough and intimidating, you were inwardly quite sensitive, and almost childlike despite being a demon. He noted this through the huge collection of plush toys that adorned your bed.

So, the pair of you went to message one another, instantly halting as you both saw the typing bubble pop up on your phones. You end up typing again as Yeonjun fails to do so for about a minute, ‘Theme park, tomorrow, 4:00pm. Meet me at my apartment,’ and he does exactly that.

The following evening the pair of you accompany each other to the theme park, going on a number of rides and winning the other prizes at the stands across the area. Yeonjun had won you a fox plush toy, which you named after him, and you won him a deer soft toy, which he in turn named after you.

Night begins to fall, and a chill washes over the area as the fresh night air envelops anyone who dared to stay out past sunset. You glance upwards, smiling at the beauty of the stars that adorned the sky. Yeonjun stares at you as you look away, admiring your effortless perfection. He then takes off his coat, letting it rest across your shoulders. You glance at him questioningly, tilting your head to the side in a way that he finds so irresistibly adorable.

He only shrugs as a reply, ruffling your hair. You stop him, gripping his hand in your own, “Cheeky bastard,” you retort, intertwining your fingers which elicits a blush from Yeonjun. You note that he is only wearing a pink crop top, which would only make him freeze, so you sidle up to him, wrapping an arm around his waist that rests at his exposed hipbone. As you had to let go of his hand to do so, you then brought his arm over your shoulders, intertwining your fingers once again.

Yeonjun stares the opposite way for a second to hide his blush, and then rests his head on top of yours, nuzzling into your hair to stop you from looking up at his red face. His usual confidence was often hindered in your presence as yours matched his perfectly, leaving him flustered continually. You lead the pair of you to the Ferris Wheel, where you get a carriage to yourself, guaranteeing privacy.

“Yeonjun.” You state, warranting his full attention. He turns to face you almost instantaneously, humming to urge you to continue, “You’re a fucking loser but I’m falling for you, and I need to make you mine or it might just kill me-”

You are cut off by Yeonjun’s lips meeting yours, the kiss slow and sensual following your admission of feelings. You pull away first to breathe, and his lips chase after yours instinctively, not liking the feeling of you parting with him so soon. You close the gap again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you.

After you separate again, Yeonjun pants, “God, I’m so fucking whipped for you. I’m yours,” as you go to kiss him again, he stops you, “But, you’re mine.”

You only nod as a response, but stop yourself again to retort, “Don’t use that language in front of me.”

“W-what... the f-word?” He mumbles, “No, ‘God’ you loser... I’m a demon..”

He only rolls his eyes, grabbing at the lapels of his coat resting on your shoulders to pull you into another kiss. The kiss was passionate, slow, sweet, the residue of cotton candy setting the atmosphere, and there was no denying that the man was an excellent kisser... it was as if his lips were made for the sole purpose of kissing. Any background noise faded away, the pair of you absorbed in one another, and to think that merely a few weeks ago the pair of you were in an unspoken war over high fives.

The time? 5:53pm... a time that now belonged to yourself and Yeonjun, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

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paleode-ology · 3 years

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let's talk about supercorp - fuck the CW pt 2

link to my general supergirl ramblings here

I want to preface this whole thing by saying explicitly that I do ship supercorp. Like, a lot. I try to stay level-headed about my enthusiasm on Tumblr bc I have tragically realistic expectations for this pairing, but anyone who has talked to me privately about kara and lena has witnessed me literally start crying over them. I ship it guys. Really, I do.

maybe this post is redundant. I'm going to say a lot of things that everyone else has also said. but in light of the final season premiering today, and the CW being a little bitch and doubling down on encouraging fans to talk about supercorp, I think it needs to be said again.

the CW has fucked us over before. they're not really known for their hard-hitting television shows, to parallel the words of my favorite Luthor (it's more like, can we get views without queerbaiting, yes or no?) I've seen Apple+ feature TV with better plots than anything the CW has ever come up with.

no one from the writing and directorial section of supergirl has ever made any indication that they play on pursuing anything more than a platonic relationship for Kara and Lena, and this is my expectation for season six. maybe something crazy will happen. who knows. but I think it's really unlikely at this point, based on past actions of the CW.

despite this, there has been intense queerbaiting. like,,, seriously. maybe in season two they didn't really realize what they were doing. okay. sure. they still managed to create parallels to superman and Lois, and I think it's really easy to say that some of the things that happened were definitely,, intense,, for a platonic relationship.

maybe lena's whole gift giving thing can be chalked up to her not being used to having someone to show affection to in any capacity. maybe it's just the whole extra rich people love language behavior. maybe the writers thought because kara had a love interest at the time, there could be some slack in how they portrayed lena and her behavior, even if it was a little over the top. it's television, a little excess rich gratitude never hurt anyone.

but after season two? after fans rose by the hundreds and thousands to ship supercorp? after season three?? they feel no shame in fucking with us.

again, I know there are already posts about this, but please, please, watch this season cautiously. we have art and fanfiction and a whole community of people here - the show isn't the end all be all for us.

whatever happens is already set. I'm inclined to believe that they aren't going to do more than rebuild lena and kara's friendship, but of course the interaction with supercorp-related comments in the past week is definitely creating a lot of excitement (albeit a confused, concerned excitement).

these are just my thoughts on the ship and its promotion over the last few years. idk, feel free to talk to me about them. I know it's a little disjointed but there is,,, a lot. more than I can write in an organized manner five hours before the first episode airs.

well. good luck tonight everyone <3

#supergirl #supercorp #fuck the cw #lena luthor #kara danvers #kara zor-el #I do love them so much #I wish this show wasn't like actually terribly written

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teacup-baphomet · 3 years

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G/t Drabble (Crash landed on a hostile planet trope but NOT via the a tiny vulnerable human in a planet of mean powerful alien bigs route)

tw: a bit of censored cursing. Uh. I’m not sure what else. Maybe broaching of sensitive tops such as sexuality and religion. But not really. Mostly it’s just rlly dumb word play/lame humor and a confused alien being confused (and kinda freaked/troubled due to the confusion? you’ll see if you read it i guess). there is some sad lorg boi times. idk. no romantic relationships. just a shaky friendship is forming between a crash-landed big-arse alien (a human! *gasp* i woulda never guessed something as vile as that o: ) and one of the much smaller, very much not human locals. most want to kill the poor dude who got stuck on this planet of hostile lil guys who think he’s a monster and immediately decide they much off him asap. so like having this one ally is kinda important to him. But it’s hard. because. lots reasons rlly. culture differences. the language tech can only do so much. the size diff creates definite issues because trust is hard in general. and trusting a big being that could easily cause havoc on your planet mostly just cuz he /seems/ nice is not a very good foundation... there is much to learn between the two before they can be truly good frens. so uh good luck to them lol *raises glass* I mean. I don’t think I’ll ever write these two again. but I’m sure they’ll end up good friends. probably.

Anyway without further adieu, here have a disappointment (read: attempt to be creative but i’m kinda lazy tbh and still kinda bitter I can’t draw for more than like 10 minutes before I start spacing out :/ )

"We are called humans or the scientific name is homo sapiens" spoke the large alien, Lyle.

"Homo sapiens? That is rather long, is it not? Why is a "scientific name" even a thing? Why would that be necessary? Scientific name versus what kinda name? Emotional name? Why are these science names two words? Seems annoying. What is wrong with just calling yourselves simply homos? Or something else just as nice and concise. Straight to the point if you will. Probably. I... Uh.. I obviously don't know what exactly is the purpose of a scientific name as i already implied... Sooo..." The much shorter – and much scalier- native being (called Torrynts) awkwardly looked off the side to stare at the plain, blank, siding of their dilapidated, isolated house as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire vicinity. Which it wasn’t of course. There was a f***ing alien 15 times their size only a few them-sized lengths way…

Lyle gave his new comrade – and only friend on this gawdforsaken planet that mostly wants him dead- th pondering, and possibly ironically, rather colourfully scaled Torrynt by the name of Kyvlar a bemused look, bordering on coy.

"Huh. 'Straight' to the point you say?" He paused with a small snort. "Well, my not-so-statuesque friend, do I got news for you~"

Kyvlar suddenly blanched, giving a Lyle a look that was like a knife to the heart while blurting out. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold up! We? There are more than one of you? Here? On this planet? Were you just a distraction the whole time. Oh... Oh no.... Have we really been victim a secret homo invasion this whole time! I-"

Their panicked monologue was interrupted by a most horrendous noise. Like a slowly dying tornado with the hiccups or something.

"STOP. Stop I-I can't. I can't. This is too much much!" Spoke Lyle with his hand covering the bottom half of his and his eyes scrunched shut.

'Welp,' thought the Torrynt, 'This is the end. This is when I die. I should have known better than to immediately put my trust in such an enormous obviously dangerous specimen. Ho-'

Kyvlar’s dramatic internal speech was interrupted when the alien surprised them by uncovering the his face, revealing a huge grin. ‘They weren't upset? Huh?’ The Torrynt blinked owlishly at the human in confusion.

"Sh*t, bite-size (Kyvlar noticeably paled at the impromptu nickname not 100% the foreign joking tone, well it would have been noticeable to someone their size at least), I know you don't mean to, context-wise, but you reminded me of my great aunt Karen when my Uncle Todd and Uncle Copper decide to have their friends over along with relatives for a gatherin'."

Plastering on a faux distraught look and blatantly mocking tone, he continue with exaggerated hand gestures. "Oh no, it's the...the...," he paused with snort, "... the homo invasion... No, no, no... Not here... not in this... this good, Christian neighborhood. Aren't just two of them enough? Oh woe is me!" The alien dropped the mocking tone and smirked towards the smaller being. "Heh. Good ol' great aunt Karen could never remember Uncle Todd was Jewish and so was the majority of that neighborhood.... It’s where my Uncle Todd was raised actually…"

The said smaller being just stared blankly at the homo-no-human they supposed as just “homo” meant something else, they weren’t sure what else, beyond just something else.

"Uhhm. Wh-what? U-Uhm, so what exactly is “homo” then? And what’s Christian? And Jewish too. What’s that? Are... Are those other types of -uh- intelligent, sentient creatures on your planet? Y-you know, b-beside hom-er-h-humans? Or are these subtypes of humans? What kinda are you? What is a great aunt? or Uncle? Does the great indicate a larger size? Oh gawd, a-aren't you humans b-big enough regularly? Oh... W-wait. O-or are you a great- uhm- great aunt, was it? E-er, g-great something? Ohhh. Zyntall (Torrynt swear). I'm sooo confused r-right now... " The timid tiny being, sighed in frustration before their eyes snapped open wide in a panic, and they did an immediate one-eighty with their behavior, and it was off all their previously trust, as wavering as it was, vanished in an instant, squeaking out a quick "sorry. oh, Z-zyntall... I'm so-so-sooo sorry. I-I hope I d-didn't offend y-you or anyth-thing... p-please, oh please, don't hurt me" while gazing everywhere except towards the much larger alien, hoping desperately the 'bite-size' nickname was just a bad joke...

Clearly they not only didn't get what so hilarious about the whole thing but also thought he was a monster prone to violence – still. Lyle sighed, all the mirth that was previously in his expression draining out of him leaving him with an uncomfortable grimace on their face. How disappointing... They really wish there was another human here to share in the jesting. But alas, that was not meant to be. At least as far as they knew there was no "homo invasion" in the making. Lyle wasn’t naïve. He knew humans were easy to slip into a gray moral state, at best. The role of villains at worst. And many of his kind would likely take advantage of a planet full of tiny, vulnerable people. Lyle couldn’t help but inwardly cringe at the thought, getting nervous about something that wasn’t an issue. At least now. Currently, human-wise, it was just him on this distant planet. And as far as he knew, no one - well, no other human at least- had any clue where they were. It probably just seemed he simply disappeared. Never to be seen again most likely. Trapped on this random alien planet in scenario that is akin to some sort of a personal hell of sorts.

'Wow. Hello, major depressive episode that’s making me overly dramatic. I haven't seen you since I was - what - eighteen?' thought Lyle regretfully. Calling this planet a personal hell was probably a bit over the top. But still, he couldn’t even seem to keep the trust of his single native ally. It only adds to his feelings of lonely isolation. And he feared his lonely angst will only get worse and worse. But only time will tell.

Giving a small sigh, he mentally prepped himself to try and get back his small friend’s trust. At least he was able to laugh for a wee bit earlier. It had been so long since he had done such. It was nice. Hopefully next time it will not lead to a backtracking in his attempted friendly ships with an open local, or even worse, a hostile local. The little laser guns that native being had stung like a b*tch. It reminded him when he got bit a couple times by some fire ants during a vacation as a child.

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So yeah these were rando improvised characters made on the spot.

But Lyle is a guy (he/him. He’d be chill with they/them too)

And Kyvlar is… a Torrynt. So like they/them I guess. Torrynts don’t have genders. Like at all. I guess they hermaphroditic (intersex if talking by human terms but not really as they are capable of reproduction and they aren’t human so… I dunno… Not even sure if hermaphrodite is a useful term. As idk if hermaphroditic animals, in nature, are capable of reproduction… I don’t think so? But I’m not sure tbh…). There is no variants like there are with human “sex”. And male/female concepts are 200+% foreign to these wee reptile-like aliens (albeit warm-blooded minded, so perhaps more draconian than reptilian idk. Also aliens being described as reptilian gives me hives due to a conspiracy theory that is like super bigoted actually n’ stuff. Very yikes. Don’t want to talk it about it rlly…). Their reaction would def be “wtf. That’s the weirdest sh*t ever” to such a thought as male n female binary dynamics & whatnot. No exceptions. They’d be like why a lot of you guys limiting yourself because of whether or not you are a potential offspring vessel or not. I don’t understand.

So Yeah. Uh. Anyways.

Their conversation about this prolly (or close to this):

Lyle: Hi. I’m Lyle. Just some random dude form Earth I guess.

Kyvlar: a random dude what?

Lyle: uh. I’m a dude. I guess I meant that I’m a boy though dudes don’t really have to be boys I think. But not to derail too much… Yeah. I’m a man/guy/boy/brosef, whatever you wanna call the male gender. Please not by brosef actually, heh. Anyway. Yep. A boy. That is what I am. Uh. How about you. I can just tell… you ….you have uhm two legs. Oh damn. Wait. That sounded so stupid. I wouldn’t assume your gender or anything. I just… You don’t look exactly human so..uh. UGH. Nevermind. I don’t even know where I was going with that... Heh. ANYWAY, so yeah what’s your gender is what I’m trying to say. Sorry I’m awkward as f***. I’m not used to socializing much. Been doing deep space sh** on my own for a few years now and.. uh.. yeahhhh….

Kyvlar: *stares blankly*

Lyle: Uh. Yeah. So. A Gender? Do you, uhm, have one? Or…????

Kyvlar: Uh. I think so? I mean I’m mostly a day-by-day I’ll figure it out then type but I, I really want be able to fix my home up. I want to learn to cook. Kinda suck at it now. Uhm. I guess… Uh. I should probably help you get on good terms with my people so they stop trying to kill you. You seem nice n’ stuff… so yeah. There’s that. I could use a little more purpose in my life. Not to-

Lyle: wait. Huh? What are you talking about? Are you talking about an agenda?

Kyvlar: Yes????

Lyle: *snorts* I didn’t say an agenda. I said a gender. As in A. Gen. Durr. Like are male or female or maybe something off the typical binary track??

Kyvlar: Uh. Er. Huh??? I, I’m so confused right now…

Lyle: Hooo boy. I’m so not prepared for this discussion at all.

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One of these days I’m gonna have a character that’s silver-tongue and smooth af and not some bumbling awkward doofus (*cough* like I am *cough*).

#g/t #g/t writing #i think this is sfw #i don't know why it wouldn't be #giant/tiny #giant dude #but he's really a human #it's like the crash landed on a hostile planet g/t trope #but the crash landed is a human #and he is the BIG #and the tinies are a bunch of hostile aliens #except for one #and they aren't really tiny #they are technically normal I think #i mean it is their turf yknow?#the tiny alien in this drabble is non-binary I guess #or maybe agender would be a better term?#the tiny aliens have no gender #or rather they have one gender #so it basically is means little to them identity to wise #like how humans are humans and thus that doesn't honestly say much about them.#except gender means even less to these aliens than that #not in a offensive way #in a they have no knowledge of gendered creatures so the concept of gender is very new to them #actually it's a non-issue to most of them because they don't give a shit about Lyle at all #oh your a guy #we don't care just die already #poor dude #he just wants a friend #but's awkward

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malzenn · 3 years

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Back with more analysis, this time, it’s A Song Written Easily, again, not really focusing on the overall story, but just looking at the pieces that may be useful later when I try to piece together the whole story.

Flowers In ASWE

All the information I have found regarding these flowers is from the internet, and it anything is wrong, I’m sorry, I’m not an expert on flowers and their meanings.

Ravn - White crysanthemum

- Symbolises condolences

- However, because of reasons, this flowers has multiple different meanings, such as: purity (especially white ones), spirituality, loyalty and honesty

- In Asia they can symbolise health and happiness, while in western Europe, they can symbolise truth

- Has medicinal purposes

Seoho - Paprika Yarrow

Turns out his wasn’t a paprika yarrow but a different variety, however, I can’t remember what it was so I’m leaving the mistake in here, have fun, however, finding information on paprika yarrow specifically was n o t happening, so I used yarrow in general

- It has healing properties and can slow or stop blood flow

- While healing, also is a reminder to protect yourself

- Associated with Achilles

- Also means lasting love and to nurture your love

- Supposed to represent good luck and success

- Aries

- Also low maintenance

Leedo - Safflower

- Represents attractiveness to others, good luck and love

- Associated with happiness and marriage

- Also low maintenance but needs plenty of sunlight

- Associated with Leo (Leedo is also a Leo, this was a fun lil’ coincidence)

- I really couldn’t find much on this wee flower

Keonhee - Daylily

- As the name suggests, this flower only blooms for one day (is it connected to him getting d u s t e d? More at 10)

- Frequently associated with the Virgin Mary

- Common meanings are: innocence, purity, perfection and honesty

- Orange or yellow daylilies often symbolise joy, love, courage, beauty and devotion, while darker oranges suggest a deeper passion

- As they don’t last long, they are also a symbol of flirtation, as that too doesn’t typically last

- Also has negative connotations, as the flower doesn’t last long, it can be a symbol of forgetfulness or memory loss, this can be turned positive as it can help you forget painful memories

Hwanwoong - Alstreomeria

- Friendship, love, strength and devotion

- This can be given to a loved one to mean “I’ve got your back” and suggests mutual support

- Each petal has a meaning, these are: understanding, empathy, patience, commitment, humour, and respect

- This flower has no scent, which is kinda rare

- As with other flowers, colour is important, white has connotations of love, strength, support and once again, purity, while red is passion and love, it’s a way to say I love you without red roses

- Victorian flower language often associated this flower with sympathy and condolences

- This flower also has the meaning of overcoming difficulties and following your dream

Xion - Delphinium

- This flower is about reaching for your goals and trying to achieve them, as well as expanding your options in order to gain new opportunities

- Also is connected to scorpions because apparently, it wards against them, like it symbolises protection because it defends against scorpions, how? Idfk

- Some people plant this in memory of a lost one

- This flower is also used to kill internal parasites, fun fact, because warding off scorpions wasn’t enough for this plant, however, too much can kill as it causes blood pressure to go lower

- It also is about enjoying the brighter side of life.

Keonhee

I will be making posts about each Oneus member and their role within the overarching story, I just need to put the pieces together first.

However, considering Keonhee’s flower is one that has an incredibly short lifespan, and he disappears, I’m fairly certain there is a connection, especially since the next scene is Ravn collapsing.

This makes me think that Ravn may be connected to Keonhee’s disappearance. (Next MV I will be analysing is Valkyrie because Keonhee also is disappearing there). However, theories as to why he disappears is going to be its own post.

Another important thing to note about Keonhee, before I move on, he’s the only one where the plants around him are edited to be red, while red has many meanings, passion, love, anger etc, I think the important one is danger, mainly because he disappears, which doesn’t seem safe, idk tho.

Hwanwoong

We’re looking at Hwanwoong’s eyes as the MV moves from the city to the oceans or mountains, which gives me main character vibes, or at least, we’re getting the story from his POV, in general though, he does have main character vibes, especially in TBONTB

Ravn

He starts off with his flowers, while the other members find them during the MV and pick them up, he has his from the beginning and drops it later. The flowers are supposed to mean a new or fresh start, so could this be Ravn sacrificing his fresh start? Possibly, especially since he’s The Hanged Man and Ravn does not know what being subtle is, it makes my job easier I suppose.

Seoho

He has a scene where sand is slipping through his fingers, sand is connected to time as sand slips from your fingers, so does time from your life. In dreams, sand falling can suggest that you’re running out of time. Depending on where this song falls on the timeline, this could mean that they're running out of time before they wake up in TBONTB

Waves

In general, represents forthcoming events/occasions/threats

Silently watching the waves indicate that there’s hidden emotions eg. someone you love a lot but cannot express feelings for. Hwanwoong is watching the clam waves, which could indicate that he’s hiding something, which means it’s something I have to try to figure out.

High crashing waves represent overwhelming emotions that threaten to drown a person. This might point in the direction of why Leedo became a fallen angel (I will have a whole post about Leedo being a fallen angel, but this isn’t exactly a new theory). So I believe it was probably his actions but not necessarily his fault.

Especially since Leedo is blurred, whatever overtook or overpowered him was strong.

#oneus #oneus theory #mv analysis #ravn #seoho #leedo #Hwanwoong #keonhee #Xion #oneus ravn #oneus seoho #oneus leedo #oneus hwanwoong #oneus keonhee #oneus xion #a song written easily #a song written easy theory #keonhee getting dusted #mal analyses

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haltandcatchfiretothemax · 5 years

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FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2019 #17: In which your moderator journals some thoughts about the claim that “Donna’s idea was Cameron”

So, a few weeks back I reblogged this post, which hopefully you’ve all seen and responded to emotionally (I know I have!), which contains the shooting script’s description of what happens in Cameron and Donna’s final scene together, as written by the Chrises, and a further clarification made via personal correspondence by Christopher Cantwell. The action lines describe Donna looking around the diner and trying to memorize everything about it, and that when she looks over at Cameron, who’s already outside, “Something hits Donna. Not nostalgia. Not Loss. Not peace of mind. It’s a subtle wave of something else, something washing over her, through her in this moment as her eyes go distant, and something catches behind them. She gets her change. But she can’t shake whatever just happened. Her face almost betrays a look of frustration. Goddamnit.” Cantwell explained, in aforementioned personal correspondence, again, that the idea Donna had in this moment, was Cameron.

I…don’t know if I’ll ever have had enough time to sit with this, or if I’ll ever have much to add. Let’s start with how there is no heterosexual explanation for this. Like, ‘something washing over her’ that isn’t nostalgia, loss, peace, activated by the sight of Cameron (by her truck, of all things!)…it feels apparent that what’s washing over Donna is a surge of affection, if not love, for Cameron. It isn’t necessarily ‘romantic’ (…), and it isn’t necessarily the same thing as or indicative of a sexual attraction, but that doesn’t really matter. And no, that’s not shipper goggles. That’s reading the text, both the provided shooting script and, like, 40 hours worth of film.

OP @grouchylion writes in the post that there’s a discrepancy between what the shooting script dictates and how the scene was shot and ultimately cut. I haven’t rewatched that scene, which is fine because I probably couldn’t handle it right now, but because I’m an incorrigible geek, I have thought about why that might be, and about what was published in interviews around the time of the finale.

It’s not made explicit in the finale that Donna is being overwhelmed by her feelings for Cameron, and it’s also certainly not made explicit in the text. The episode also wasn’t directed by the screenwriters. So presumably, director Karyn Kusama worked from this shooting script. In a vulture interview that was linked in this reblog, Kerry Bishé says, “Karyn [Kusama, the director of the episode] has this great idea about it. I’m paying for the food in our diner, and she sees somebody reading the newspaper, and she sees the jukebox, and she’s the waitress taking an order, and she sees the cash register. And then it’s like a lightning bolt. We don’t know what the idea is, which I love. Because it could be anything.” And then, “I made some joke like, is it the iPhone? But it’s great, we don’t have to know what the idea is. And Karyn’s like, It’s everything. It’s not one idea. It’s all of the ideas. Donna sees the future when all of this human interaction will be technological.”

All of which suggests that neither the director nor the actress considered that Donna’s idea ‘was Cameron,’ or certainly not in the way that the shooting script and Cantwell’s later admission hints at. I would say that I can’t fvcking believe, even if Cantwell didn’t actually communicate this to them directly (and, uh, it kinda sounds like he didn’t? Right?) that either Karyn Kusama or Kerry Bishé read the shooting script (idek if they did, maybe they didn’t see that script, or, what even is a ‘shooting script,’ we just don’t know!) and read the action lines provided and actually thought, ‘oh yeah, sure, Donna’s just looking at the cash register and stuff!’ but after a lifetime of dealing with non-gays, I kind of can believe it. I guess. Sigh.

All joking and meme language aside, we really don’t know what they thought when/if they read those action lines, or how much they talked with the Chrises or if they were even on set or what have you. I don’t think it’s possible to know to any satisfying degree how all of this happened, as in, even if we could question every single person involved, or even just, like, the Chrises, Karyn Kusama, Kerry Bishé, all thirteen credited producers, the editors, and the cinematographer (IMDB lists editors Rachel Goodlett Katz and Robert Komatsu, and cinematographer Evans Brown and yes, despite recent Oscars tomfoolery those professionals and their jobs are important!), we probably still wouldn’t know quite how we got from the original intent stated after the fact to Kusama and Bishé’s ultimate interpretation and performance. That’s just the magic of film production, people. And/or the magic of structural heterosexism, I guess!

To be clear, one doesn’t need to actually be heterosexual (and, reminder, we don’t actually know that Cantwell, Kusama, or Bishé, even thought they are all in m/f relationships irl, are heterosexual, because bisexual and pansexual people exist) or even actively heterosexist or homophobic in order to perpetuate heterosexism, in great part because the majority of the social reproduction of heterosexuality as a construct imposed on human bodies is done by very large institutions, which makes it very easy for us as individuals to help it along without really meaning to. Which is to say, in the off chance that it’s not obvious, that I’m not here to point fingers. I’m not even here to complain, really. I’m mostly just here to marvel at how we can’t have (certain, explicitly GAY) nice things, and how complicated the reasons for that really are.

And so, we have fandom. And blogs like this one, fanfiction, fanart, etc, to make what’s in the text but not ever directly said explicit. I know that it can be and often is intensely frustrating to see relationships like Cameron and Donna’s (and Gordon and J*e’s!) be characterized as friendships, and feel like a tv show is being cowardly, or needlessly prioritizing bromances and ‘strong female friendships’ between mostly presumed straight characters over writing lgbt characters. More to the point, it’s really infuriating to see straight people in the fandom totally disregard the work that the people involved in the show put into depicting those relationships, and communicating their depth, nuance, and intensity, and talk over, dismiss, and insult gay ships and shippers.

We can’t always have explicitly gay things, sadly. And even when we can have explicitly gay characters and relationships, that doesn’t mean that they’re written well or that they’re in shows that we actually want to sit through, or that they get good or uplifting storylines. What we can do, and what I’ve been thinking about for the past few days, is learn to value the sort of representation that we did get with Halt, of partnership and commitment that develops into real care and affection, even in pairings that are not heterosexual, of complicated, sensitive human beings who are clearly not heterosexual, who are clearly capable of developing real, amazing, emotionally sustaining, nurturing bonds with people of the ‘same’ or similar gender, that can’t be cut down or simplified to fit into a box as tiny or as useless as our standard definition of ‘friendship.’ And like, I know we value it, that’s why we’re still talking about it here on Donna Emerson’s internet over a year after the fact. But, idk. Maybe instead of or in addition to being reasonably disappointed about Cameron and Donna (and plenty of other gay ships on other shows) not technically being canon, we should rethink what we mean by canon? Especially in cases like this one where the text shows us that characters have feelings for each other?

It’s just an idea, just a thing for my fellow incorrigible nerds to think about, maybe.

#tl;dr: who's to say they're NOT canon? WHOMST #additional tl;dr: ...kinda feel like there isn't a str8 explanation for cantw3ll either #and i support it despite not agreeing with many of his choices #femslash february #femslash february 2019 #wasn't actually sure where this would end up but i think i'm good with it!#is it meta? hmm #meta monday #original halt and catch fire to the max analysis!

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gawaine · 6 years

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by popular demand: welcome to the saga of Fuckboy Supreme

*sigh* aka i’m dumb, what’s new

i’m going to try and keep this short bc ffs

Fuckboy Supreme (FS for short). Mr Popular of my cohort. hangs out at the back w/ the rest of the rugby boys. blonde, blue eyed... not my type.

i’d identified him as the FS of the year early on and Blonde Pop and I established that he, and my other friend Steffan, were probably the two best looking single guys in our course (not saying much). I heard that he was from money and was clearly trying to hide it (E much?) and I saw a lot of similarities. he was interesting to watch every now and then but I didn’t think we’d ever really cross paths.

except one day, we end up thrown together in clin. skills, alongside his best friend + housemate (Human Shield, for future reference. he becomes important later) and we kind of chat and lo and behold, he’s actually a pretty chill guy? nice enough to talk to. to the point where I tell my friends this (we all sit together down at the front) and I shock both FS and HS when I see them around and say hi (after HS and I spend a hospital shift together on NICU). more importantly, in that clin. skills session, me and HS are meant to “watch [FS] closely” to give feedback and I notice that this dude’s legs are absolutely insane, sculpted out of effing marble, and that same day, he’s happy to whip off his shirt (we’re doing resp. exams) and keep it off as he talks to someone. and I see he has a scar on his shoulder and ofc bc ME I’m like “omg sO PRETTY AND CLEAN” and he lets me basically play around with his weird af shoulder (old injury, post-surgery) as he chats to one of our tutors and I’m chatting to another tutor about the scarring. and he smells clean and he’s not super sculpted, as one would expect, but he’s lean in a natural, soft kinda way and i’m like okay, cool. and we chat a little and he’s nice about me not having a science background and w/e.

weeks go by, we say hi every now and then. then I slowly become obsessed with his legs.

it’s a slow process but the boy keeps walking into lectures, right by my seat to get to his, and he wears shorts and seriously... l e g s. but I’m wary of this so I’m happy to objectify him and for a time it works; idgaf if he notices (he doesn’t) and my friends find it hilarious, but I tell them I’m not interested in anything above the neck (or really, anything that isn’t thighs down) bc happy to stare and not know a thing about his personality thank you very much.

... I go out of my way to stand by that. and then, in a particularly shitty lecture one day, as I’m contemplating trying a psych shift, I realise the only person I know of who’s done what I’m interested in is... FS.

I decide fuck it, I’ll just message and ask - no being polite or friendly, straight to the point bc it’s work and I’m not there to open a door (even though, and I tell the girls this, by opening up messaging I feel like I am). this causes a non-stop 45min FB chat - I mean non-stop - and he’s hilarious. super hilarious. he’s also flirting w/ me and whilst I know this is all bc he’s FS (and I tell him so - he finds it v. funny), it’s a fun convo and it’s harmless and I reckon he’s just playing up bc we’re both bored.

... things escalate quickly.

we message back and forth a lot - he’s very quick and sharp, so he keeps up w/ me easily, but I’m treating him as I would anyone else. this lasts a while, but he keeps flirting and I keep telling him he’s a moron and eventually say if he keeps it up I’m just going to treat him like a psych experiment.

... I assume him continuing means he knows i’m being serious.

he becomes my psych experiment. lots of things being studied, including E and stuff from my dissertation etc etc and although at this point I know we’re embroiled in a weird power struggle, I stop giving a fucks because hey, he’s an experiment to me and i’m an unofficial therapist for him, right? win win. i don’t NEED to give a fuck about how it comes across.

2 weeks later, i’m sitting in the library while he’s at home, and we end up arguing over FB. he starts off polite but it quickly becomes i’m being intrusive, messaging him a lot, etc; why can’t I treat him like Aussie Essex (Blonde Pop’s housemate and my friend, as well as FS’) aka a normal friend and I’m like “lol but we’re not friends”, which we’ve both acknowledged before, but my stance is: I know things about him bc I asked specific things bc psychoanalysis. He doesn’t know anything about me. Friendship is mutual, that isn’t. basically I’m like “look, i’m sorry, have a nice life” in nicer words (bc I’m lost bc in my mind - I TOLD him he was a psych experiment??) and he’s all “what so you’re going to ignore me forever now haha” in not so many words and I’m like ???, but when he doesn’t respond, i’m like cool, we’re dead to each other, fine.

the girls notice how fucking ICE COLD we are w/ each other when we’re in the common room, though we wouldn’t normally talk, and Trout (not indicative of her face; a girl we both know, a member of the School - aka the group of girls who worship FS and his friends in my year, they have literally sat at FS’ feet before - who at this point, has been watching me and FS for a while) gets smug. bear in mind, after that first FB chat, I was throwing an event as co-president of the trauma society and was making the rounds around the common room to see who was coming and, after some initial back and forth, I commanded FS to come and he was like “fuck OKAY. okay? shit yes, okay” (he didn’t come and was meant to help me get numbers, but he fucked that too. idk if it was deliberate. it was a success anyway tho so w/e) and Trout was all ?!?!?! because she watches FS like a hawk and so he and I talking clearly confused her

but then a few days later he sees me sitting alone in lectures where I don’t usually sit and he’s like “morning Hannah” and, too shocked to do anything else, I auto-reply “morning [FS]” and just like that we’re okay again?

after the fight, I message him once - a silly message in a lecture by a 1st world Barbie - to test his reaction to the lecture more than anything else, but he doesn’t reply, which I suspected, but after that... no FB. I refuse to break that rule.

BUT I do grab him a couple of times when he walks by my seat in the break; I apologise face-to-face after he says hi and he apologises for the misunderstanding regarding the argument (he may have said hi after that?? idk) and he basically demands we’re friends and I’m like yeah whatever sure pal

but then he walks in one day wearing a beanie just like E’s and I. i just. it becomes a thing. i have a really cute bobble hat I wear every day bc our lecture theatre is colder than the Arctic fucking circle and so as I joke about him competing, I’m really freaking out bc that’s when I realise just how MUCH he reminds me of E. this hat becomes a Thing. I grab it one time and threaten to keep it hostage with Blonde Pop in front of all of his friends and they look at me like I’m insane, confused, lost at how I, a Front Row Person, dares to challenge FS. I’m literally in high school again.

aware of that, I die it down... and long story short, somehow, FS starts saying hi more and more in the morning and we have these mini chats (once the hat thing dies down), but it’s really tiny.

then I fuck up my wrist.

it pisses me off bc he’s clearly curious but doesn’t ask and I’m like “further proof we’re not friends” to myself but by this point, so much little shit has happened that all of my friends know what’s going on (lbr they did anyway) and his School are aware of me too - but OH - so there was this med school ball thing and we both went and that’s when I got more E vibes and I was like “fuck this” bc the more I avoided it the more it was happening and he was avoiding me and so AFTER that I was like “fuck this” and planned on ignoring him but that just... didn’t happen (I’m omitting so much of the finer details).

so yeah, he’s annoying me about my wrist bc he’s eavesdropping when I talk to my friend about it, but... nothing? so I’m like w/e fuck this dude and by this point, as an accidental by product of me being pissed with him at the ball (and myself), I’m dealing with some other male Situations and it’s pissing me off

bUT then exam week arrives and we have a really lovely chat before anatomy and he’s being all sweet and friendly and the School is confused and HS is confused (HS is perpetually confused when it comes to me and FS, which is odd, bc otherwise we’re pretty chill w/ each other) but at this point something doesn’t feel right bc I’m good w/ body language, right? communication, esp non-verbal, is my thing. and he’s being weird.

then I come home for the weekend to get my wrist seen to and Blonde Pop goes out with everyone else to celebrate exams being over (I leave with 2 of my other friends right after) and FS sees Blonde Pop, who he’s spoken to bc of me enough times now, and he asks where I am - and that’s weird bc we NEVER have spoken in a social setting so I’m like??

we get back; he stops before lectures and comments on my temporary cast (fracture clinic appointment tomorrow guys, prayer circle) and says something like “oh, well it’s good it’s completely immobilised” (30mins later i realise why this bothered me; he’s quoted me directly from when he was eavesdropping on me and my friend discussing the injury accidentally, and I’m like aHA I KNEW IT) and I make a flippant comment about yeah, but it’s not great for getting dressed in the morning and he’s like “oh, I’ll help you get dressed” and I look at him like wtf bc lol he’s such a moron but also ??? but then he sees Kelly and bolts, though he was laughing too and trying to justify that comment (badly) and for perspective, I tell Kelly and she immediately picks up my phone to see it and I’m like no, this just happened in person and she’s like what the actual fUCK bc that is not the level FS and I are in person so it’s not just me ok

and then later I see him sitting with Aussie Essex and when I go to speak to AE he’s like “hi??” and me, not hearing him but seeing him watching me, am all flippantly like “oh hey” and carry on but it throws me tf off bc we’ve had our one convo of the day inside the lecture theatre and this is getting weird and i’m immediately like ?? did he sit with Aussie Essex knowing I’d say hi? wtf?

then it’s the end of term pub quiz collecting money for charity (I’m using so much ‘then’, it’s disgusting and u can see i’m not in writer mode) and my gut tells me to avoid FS bc he’s leaving after lectures the next day but everyone is like wtf no come, it’ll be chill, so I do, and it’s fine, and he’s there and right in my line of vision but i’m like w/e w/e and we kinda say hi but it’s in passing and at this point, I’m on good terms with like... the majority of the guys in his little gang (he lives with 4 of them, so I’m polite to all of them on some level) and so when HS is introducing me to his gf, it’s fine... until he’s like “oh btw I forgot to tell you - this is [FS’] girl”

??????????????????

things escalate quickly. first FS sends me hearts, I flip him off, then he starts talking and I can’t hear so I go over and that’s when I get fucking ambushed by his housemate, who I only have spoken to once or so but know his gf but will hereby be known as Buttface... about how they’ve all (FS’ friends) given every girl on each row a percentage of how much they think that girl fancies FS. I’ve scored one of the highest - 73%, alongside another girl with a slight reputation (no judgement) who has been all over FS the majority of the night so far.

the more I defend myself, the more Buttface claims that’s proof of it being true (as a lit grad, do you know how much that logic offends me???) and FS only repeats that he wasn’t a part of the convo, it was only about him so not to blame him. but he listens smugly. things escalate. i’m ashamed to admit i’m so thrown off that i am not my best and as things continue to escalate, i feel too blindsided to do what I want to (though I do half-slap FS once bc I can’t fully slap him in a room full of our course w/o Drama, and though I go to spill a drink on him twice, everyone stops me) and it’s a mess and once it’s over, i’m raging and have to leave. a lot of people stay out though, so half of the lecture is too hungover the next day... so I don’t see FS and that week, we broke off for Xmas break. but before i left, I nudged HS and was like “wtf so you and your house talk about me a lot...” (literally aLL OF FS’ housemates are familiar w/ the topic) and HS is like “nah, I reckon he fancies YOU” and I know HS is a shit stirrer so it pisses me off more

Blonde Pop is raging for me. Broski is like “meh, men”, though Percival takes offence at the shitty logic; but Deej and Cap (who I travelled with) are like lol what this is a victory. in the power struggle, you’re winning. he doesn’t think we know about all of this; but you’re clearly important enough for all of his housemates to know your name. Lulu and Dragon Jock see me the next day; I make Lulu give me a hug bc I’m like “am I giving off hoe vibes??” and Lulu, who is soft and smiley and a cinnamon roll, is all “nO IT’S LAD CULTURE AND IT’S RUBBISH” and it’s very cute and defensive of me and Dragon Jock is just like “lol i’ll hit ‘em”. which is nice.

general consensus is to ignore the fuck outta him come going back in 2 weeks but?? idk if I can? it’s not that simple bc we have the rest of the course together and I know that he’ll act like everything’s fine and if i say why i’m pissed, Buttface will use that as ‘proof’ (rather than me being horrified at their audacity, I mean CHRIST ON A STICK) and if I don’t, it’s still proof... Broski says this won’t go away anytime soon bc of that reason but that isn’t satisfactory either

and like i clearly try to blend into the bg to avoid drama and now i’m like? why bother?? when we all went for takeout in our last night in Swans before heading home, Cap was like “i find it hilarious how you have so much drama around you” and when I was all “i sit in my room and watch Netflix tho??”, he was like “... that’s why it’s hilarious” and tbh yes, but not in a funny way, in more of a dAMN IT way

fuck blending? it makes no difference? hence me accepting my femininity, bc... screw everyone else, I’ll do what the fuck I want

but yeah. that’s the latest.

also, in slapping him, i felt his stubble and that was not the one.

berate me freely, go forth...

#the student diaries #fuckboy supreme #goodnight #finndamrron #franklyineedcoffee #i thought it'd be easier to say it in one go

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