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#idk something about the body language really rubs me the wrong way and i’m not sure why. i get it’s an homage
outofcontexturi · 1 year
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wed 2nd Nov 2022 journal 09:22am
rip takeoff. that news really hit me yesterday. especially to hear that he wasn’t doing anything but caught a stray bullet. It’s too sad to hear. yesterday was a lot. waking up today and asking myself “what do I want?” And “do I really want to continue doing what I’m doing?” scary questions to ask yourself when you’re on the journey of self discovery. An honest question too. The house is silent. Idk if Angie is in or not but I’d assume she isn’t. I’m not called in till the afternoon so I’m probably gonna do some work In the meantime. maybe I should do something that makes me happy. I also need money. The thought of going to central London and cycling does sound appealing I won’t lie. I might just do that but I also don’t want to tire myself out. I need NEED NEED to get back to Amy today about the counselling sessions. I don’t know if I just found new found motivation rn or if I’m just ideally thinking but either way I feel better than when I was talking about that whole self discovery stuff just above this. Death is such a sobering part of life. I’ve been looking at a few Diddy interviews, just studying his body language when he’s asked something that is quite intrusive and how the responds to it vs when other people are telling stories about moments they’ve had with him and I can’t lie something seems very predatory about this man. This is why I put above, do I really want to go into this industry in other words. sometimes to be an artist is a lonely life. It’s like the world sees you but also doesn’t see you. I think there’s changes I’ve opened myself up to (involuntarily) and I’m having a hard time accepting them as a way of life now. There are a lot of tapped individuals walking amongst us. it’s scary man. The things people say sometimes I ask myself if they think before they say whatever comes out of their mouth and more often than not they don’t. I don’t know if God made me resilient to words or if it’s just a defence mechanism that helps me block out things but what Bethlehem said to me yesterday regarding my whole situation with Taneetrah was very very low. And that’s coming from a friend. It was tactless and distasteful in my opinion. She made a point though but it’s the fashion in which she made the point that was distasteful and tactless but I can’t argue that she isn’t right. It rubbed me the wrong way. All in all I just want peace. I want harmony. I want beauty. I want quality of life. Nadine did say something rather noteworthy yesterday though. She said, if you see life as a cycle, either going up or down, you know once you’re down the only way is up and you can only go up from there. I really don’t know whats happening . I just know that I don’t trust a lot of people and it’s showing with how i interact with people. In a way it feels like I’m closing up instead of opening up and it’s simply because I’m in rooms I don’t necessarily feel safe in. Things feel quite reactionary. I don’t believe I have to find the motivation to get up and do this job. This fucking degree. I’m gonna see it thru for future me but fucking hell. I don’t have the energy to act like this is fine. And people keep seeing me and thinking I’m being rude or bad vibes but explaining what’s going on is just too much to do at this point. I don’t have the time and energy to explain what’s going on and be met with the same response of “sorry to hear that happened to you” or “I don’t really know what to advise you”. I’m tired of it. 23 really has been a year of absolute fuckery. A month left of this age. It’s been ROUGH. still rough. I guess I feel low because I’m thinking about everything I haven’t had a chance to fully process this week and it’s only Wednesday morning. I’m thinking about putting my name down for the Audio thingy at LAMDA but I might ask Amy if I could get an extension but we’ll see what she says. I’m just trying to make it thru my day and see another one. It’s 09:55am. I’ll update you later. sign out time : 09:56am.
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nonasbirthday · 3 years
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ok ok controversial opinion but i do not like adora’s S5 magical girl transformation sequence. she is a STRONG LADY don’t make her all limpy swoony sailor moony
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this feels all wrong... it’s too passive... where’s the power stance!!!! the swinging the sword around!!!
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pwarkluv · 3 years
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❝ idk you yet ❞ - p.js
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park jisung x reader | angsty, fluff | 1.6k words 
WARNINGS | TW: mentions blood, abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, lowercase au, non-idol au, high school au, badboy!jisung, mature language/cursing, reader is like an angel sent from heaven for him, jisungie just in need of love :(
SUMMARY | being an outcast has him wondering if he’ll ever be happy. cue you, the new girl, stumbling into his life (literally).
AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “idk you yet” by alexander23! also AHHH this is my 100 followers special fic :) THANK U LOVES FOR 100 IM SO SHOCKED CJSBFKEJD <33 the writing is a little crappy because i’m currently on my period and my patience for sitting down and writing this went down halfway through lol but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ENJOY THIS JISUNG FIC BC JISUNG MY BABIE AND SO ARE YOU GUYS!
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whenever anybody thinks of park jisung, they think of the chains and dark clothing he wears. they think about the faint smell of smoke and men’s cologne that follows him wherever he goes. 
they think of the boy who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. 
but what they don’t think about are bruises on his face he fails to hide whenever he walks into school, the dejected look on his face whenever random people give him disapproving looks, the way his smile slowly faded into a permanent frown wherever he went. 
jisung quickly accepted his reputation at school and in their little town, not having enough energy to feel insecure about it like before.
the only group of people that even remotely cared about the boy were his best friends in the whole entire world, nct dream.
they were outcasts just like him, the most “fucked up group of boys” in their town (the people’s words, not theirs).
see, they were your typical bad boy group straight out of your typical fanfic. bad grades, smoking in their free time, getting into fights, always being late to class; not a single person had hope in them.
but behind their scary and intimidating facade, all seven boys were big softies with misunderstood hearts and difficult backgrounds.
people were just too dense to look into it, only judging them based on their looks and personality on the outside. 
❝ how can you miss someone you’ve never met ❞
love was a foreign thing to jisung, the only form of love he’s ever felt being from his friends. his parents were… interesting to say the least. 
jisung’s father was a hard-core alcoholic, his mother being a major druggie. with no siblings in the house, jisung was usually their main target to push around and beat up.
and so because of this at a young age jisung learned to distance himself from other people and found different ways to release stress.
he started smoking when he was 14, the warm and hazy feeling of the smoke entering his lungs comforting him.
if jisung humored himself enough, maybe smoking could count as his first love. it was always there for him, never leaving him alone even if he wanted to quit. 
he relied on it knowing it was the only constant in his life. 
now of course the boy has heard of proper love, love like in the movies or shitty romance songs he hears on the radio.
and he won’t lie, there were moments he thought about what it felt like to be in love. but he knew that would never happen, at least not in their small town anyways. 
he just wanted to be loved. 
jisung would never admit it but sometimes he’d be jealous of the old couples walking down the street in their own world like it was just them two against the universe. he was jealous of the happy kids running around, their mother’s and father’s fondly smiling at their child. he was jealous of all the “normal” kids in his neighborhood. 
jisung wanted that, craved that. 
but most importantly, the boy wanted love.
❝ cause i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞
everything hurt. 
his head, his body, his mind, his heart; everything was in pain.
jisung walked down the empty streets of their city, a trail of blood following behind him as he accepted his fate. the boy was 99% sure he had a concussion and at the very least had a few broken ribs. 
he felt like this was the end, and he was ready.
-
wandering aimlessly around town, you decided to take a late night walk to familiarize yourself around the area. you had just moved into the city a week ago, spending all seven days trying to help your family unpack and rearrange your cozy new home. 
now that you were finally free of the smell of tape and the dust of the boxes, you decided it was best to get to know the place you were living in. 
the autumn air seemed to settle at night as you shivered, cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket of some sort. the sight of a convenience store up ahead of you brought you relief as you rummaged through your pockets wondering if you had enough money for ramen.
your steps became excited as you found a couple dollars, fondly thinking about what type of ramen you should buy. you became so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even notice the poor boy who was staggering in front of you, or the trail of blood he left behind. 
-
jisung pushed himself to reach the convenience store a couple feet away from him, in desperate need of supplies to at least try and fix himself. 
if it didn’t help in any way then oh well, maybe death was indeed an option. 
grinding his teeth though the pain, he did not expect to feel a small body bump into him. had he been at his regular health, jisung would’ve easily been able to keep still but because of how much blood he was losing the boy was knocked down like a bowling pin.
“holy fuck.” jisung cursed the feeling of the concrete floor colliding with his ribs. he didn’t even notice the girl who had bumped into him sitting on the floor dumbfounded, freaking out over his state.
“oh my fucking god.” the girl said, capturing his attention. jisung glared at the stranger, mentally acknowledging the fact she was pretty. 
but her being pretty won’t get you anywhere, he scolded himself. she’ll leave you just like everyone else.
“a-are you okay?” she said, eyes glancing at his black eye. jisung rolled his eyes, already annoyed. “does it look like i’m okay?” he replied, his deep voice catching the girl off guard. 
“just, fuck off.” jisung said closing his eyes as he laid back down on the floor, knowing he couldn’t force himself to get up anymore. he didn’t even have to open his eyes to know she left, hearing the sound of her footsteps walk away.
the boy sighed as he laid idly on the floor, wondering what sin he committed to lead him to where he is now. not even she wanted to stay, the tears threatening to fall as his thoughts buried him alive.
“why can’t i just die?” jisung said out loud, asking no one but himself.
“because i won’t let you.” a voice replied as jisung forced himself to sit up in confusion. it was the same girl he had bumped into, but this time she had a first aid kit with her. he gave her a lost look despite knowing what she was here to do. 
jisung’s mind just couldn’t wrap around the fact that a total stranger would even bother to help him. 
“now sit up.” she said softly as she bent down to open the box, the boy slowly followed her instructions. “i’m sorry this might sting.” she said though jisung didn’t mind because she was much prettier up close.
-
the next ten minutes were you trying to fix his wounds against the shitty chairs outside the convenience store.
jisung didn’t even bother mentioning his broken ribs, not wanting you to freak out. you cleaned up what you could and the boy was beyond grateful for that.
you subconsciously rubbed his back in a comforting way whenever you’d apply alcohol to his open wounds, trying to ease the sting. you held his hand for him to hold and though he was a big boy and had a high pain tolerance, he still gave it a squeeze just to keep your hand there.  what the actual fuck is this feeling, jisung asked himself as he watched your determined figure work on him.
it was cold and in order to better work on his wounds, the boy offered to give you his hoodie which strangely had no traces of blood on it. you gladly accepted, the faint smell of blood and his cologne engulfing you up. 
the sight of you in something so big and so him made his chest swell in pride.
jisung couldn’t even formulate a sentence as you cursed at the time once you finished patching him up, fleeing the scene before he could say anything with a small smile, his hoodie still on. 
❝ and can you find me soon because i’m in my head ❞
the thought of your soft hands on his, your voice, your whole presence; everything about you couldn’t seem to leave the poor boy’s mind. it was now monday, and waiting for his class to start already made him want to go home.
if only i got her name, jisung daydreamed with his head resting on the palm of his hand. the classroom was loud and bright, people occasionally giving him looks but the boy didn’t mind. 
“jisungie~ did you hear we have a new kid?” jaemin asked, poking the boy’s cheeks. the boy only gave him a pointed look before sighing. 
“hyung i don’t really care.” jisung replied, looking back out the window. 
jaemin only gave him an offended look before grumbling a bit. “i don’t know maybe you will.” he muttered under his breath as their teacher walked into the room. 
❝ yeah i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞
their homeroom teacher stood in front of the class, jisung tuning out his voice. the boy once again sighed as his teacher called for their attention, explaining they had a new girl in their class. “now make her feel welcomed,” he said before turning towards the door.
“y/n, please come in.” the teacher said and jisung almost fell out of his seat when he saw you walking through the door with the same smile you gave him a couple days ago.
“hi i’m y/n and i hope we can get along.” you bowed to the class, a familiar hoodie you were wearing catching his attention. 
isn’t that mine, jisung thought to himself as he bit back a smile knowing you kept it all along. 
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seriouslysnape · 3 years
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To the Limit
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Severus Snape x Fem. Reader
Warnings: Slight smut. Use of safeword. Language.
Request: Hi! Can u make Severus × Reader when the reader use the safe words for the first time because idk maybe it's too much for the reader that day or smth else you like..Thankyouu 💕💕 love ur writings btw ❤❤
A/N: Here we gooooooo. Reminder, everything is consensual.
Word Count: 2,947
“Okay, darling. Whatever you want.”
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Severus has always been flexible in the bedroom. Yes, Severus Snape is versatile in the sheets and has more love making skills than you originally would’ve given him credit for. Sex with Severus can range anywhere from slow and careful where praising your body is his main objective, to fucking you so mercilessly that stars are dotting the back of your eyelids with each hard thrust.
Sometimes, you don’t have to establish what kind of theme your sessions will take on. If Severus comes home angry from a long, obnoxious day then you very well know that a rough fucking will get it out of his system. When you’ve just watched one of your favorite romantic drama Muggle movies that have sent you into tears, he knows that something more unhurried is in order so you are reminded of how much he loves you.
Other times though, there isn’t really anything that determines the kind of sex you’ll be having. If the mood is right for both of you, then you often will just figure it out from there. 
Severus’ return on Friday night from a long week of classes was coated with his desire for you. You could practically feel the hard sexual tension radiating off of his whole being. From the moment he walked in the door, you knew what tonight would hold for the both of you. More than likely, it’d be a whole lot of rutted fucking and orgasms until neither of you had any stamina left to give. Normally, a seed of excitement would be planted and begin to grow in your core at the thought of being touched by him, but you didn’t feel it this time. 
It had been a bad week to put it simply. Work was weighing you down and you had taken more hits than you were used to in a five day time period. Exhaustion had riddled you, and stress has gotten the best of you. Emotional breakdown was the only way you could describe how you were feeling. You really weren’t feeling up to what Severus wanted to do. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him when his hands and lips were on you, moving to all his favorite places on you.
His voice was silky smooth in your ears as he uplifted you with how he had been thinking about you all day, and how he wanted to be with you when you weren’t around. It wasn’t Severus’ fault that you had a bad week, and it surely wasn’t all his fault that he was this turned on. The way he gripped your legs with his strong hands was an indicator that he wanted to go well into the night, which your tired state wasn’t a fan of. But you loved Severus, and you always wanted him to be happy and well pleased. So you figured you could handle a couple of coarse rounds to satisfy him.
Oh, how wrong you were.
Once access was granted, Severus leapt onto you without hesitation. A tornado of clothes being removed whirled around the room, your shirt and pants ended up on complete opposite sides of the room. Hot and unruly kisses were shared, marks were left on your necks, and no part of you went unattended. 
Admittedly, the first orgasm was actually enjoyable. Severus’ fingers were knuckle deep in your needy cunt and pumping vigorously as he found all the best spots. The strenuous activity melted some of the week’s stress from your conscience, your mind being stripped of all your worry as it clouded with ecstasy. Severus thrived off of the moans and noises of delight that he was drawing out of your throat, perfecting his movements to give you an even stronger release. Severus worked you to your finish as you came around his fingers, slicking them with arousal and relief. 
He left lazy kisses over your breasts while you took a moment to recover, preparing yourself for the next round that was undoubtedly on its way. Tiredness had plagued you long before Severus had even walked through the door, and you had suddenly been robbed of even more energy, so you were confident that you might not get a proper orgasm this second time. But the moment Severus slid you onto his dick and stretched your walls the way only he knew how to, you knew that you were going to cum whether you felt like you could handle it or not.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to. You loved seeing Severus so enraptured in waves of pleasure and gratification, but you were beyond fatigued. Still, you bounced up and down on his lap over and over again, your already sensitive clit throbbing with each rub of his fingers. Severus’ other hand guided your hip movements to meet the way he thrusted up into you, hitting your g-spot just right.
When you came this time, your sound of release was more of a strained cry than a content sound. Severus didn’t seem to notice, since he was too focused on the intoxicating feeling of filling you with his own finish. You popped off of him before he was even emptied out, the rest of his fluids landing on your inner thighs. You fell onto the bed next to him, your breathing much heavier than usual. 
You were totally tuckered out with absolutely no hope of another round. Your muscles ached and your bones were wiped out. Although, you felt a queasy feeling of despair when you saw that familiar look of lust in Severus’ eyes. He spoke lowly, his voice echoing in your ringing ears.
“I’m not through with you yet, love.” He purred.
Usually that would’ve sent a whole mess of arousal through you, but you were too worn out. But Severus usually didn’t last more than three rounds, so this would for sure be the last one. You thought you could push through so he could at least get his release, but this third go round wasn’t a good feeling for you at all.
With your arms above your head and the pillowcase below your head in your fingers’ death grip, you turned your head to the side to fight through his persistent hard fucking into you. On a better day, you’d be all over this and relishing every moment. But now your eyes were screwed tightly shut in discomfort, for each time you opened them Severus would only be able to see the whites of your eyes. The thumping heartbeat in your ears was deafening and your entire body was stiff and rigid, but not in a good way. You wanted to tough it out so at least Severus could finish, but it was just too much for you tonight. 
You had to tap out.
“Polyjuice!” You squeaked out, your voice raspy.
In an instant, you saw any expression of lust wiped straight from his face. He pulled out the millisecond that the word registered in his head, his face stricken with worry and concern at the first time use of your agreed safe word. Severus’ heart dropped at your whimpers of displeasure, his brain reeling and raking over what had gone wrong. 
“[Y/N], what’s wrong? What happened?” He asked frantically.
“I-I just...”
Shaky breaths and uncomfortable whines were the only noises you could seem to make. You sat up from where you were laying down, bringing your knees to your chest and hiding your face as you began to cry. Your emotions were all over the place, and it didn’t help that you were overstimulated and overworked. Severus went to pull you to him, but withdrew his hand. Upsetting you further would absolutely crush him, but he needed to know that you were okay.
“Can I touch you, darling?” He whispered out.
The yowl of approval was enough for him to feel fine with carefully wrapping his hand under your arm and dragging you across the mattress to where he was kneeling on the middle of the bed. He pulled the covers over your skin to keep you from getting cold from the loss of heat from being active. You buried your head into his bare chest, your tears leaking and falling down his skin. 
“I’m sorry, Sev. I’m really sorry.” You sobbed, your hair sticking to your sweaty skin.
“No, no, no. Don’t ever be sorry for telling me to stop when you’re not comfortable,” He reassured; “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 
The shake of your head brought relief upon him, but he was still worried. He rocked you in his arms until your sobs died down enough to where you were coherent. Severus was getting ready to ask you once more what was wrong, shifting you so he could see your face. When moving you, his hand accidentally brushed against your swollen, sensitive clit and you wailed out pathetically. Severus’ pale face went even whiter.
“Oh, my love...I worked you too hard, didn’t I?” He queried.
Severus would always admit that sometimes he’d get into the zone and completely drown everything else out. He wouldn’t really be able to tell how hard he was pulling in and out. It was rare, but from time to time you’d have to ask him to soften his thrusts or slow his pace when he got too rowdy. But you had never asked him to stop completely until now. He feared that he had seriously pushed you over the edge this time.
“It’s not just that.” You confessed with a sniff.
Severus had drawn your head back to gaze into your bleary eyes. The tear tracks being swiped away with his thumbs as he cradled your face. 
“What is it then, sweetheart?” He asked with wonder.
A fresh set of salty tears pooled and fell down your cheeks, but for a different reason.
“I’ve had a horrible week. Nothing has gone right,” You explained croakily; “I wanted to make you feel good and I thought it might make me feel better...but I’m just exhausted and I couldn’t handle it tonight.”
You fell apart into another set of choking sobs and gut wrenching cries, prompting Severus to bring you back into his chest. He stroked your skin and left kisses so light that they were ghostly. 
“It’s alright, angel. I wish you had told me before that you weren’t feeling up to it,” He consoled; “You’re worth so much more than sex. I want you to tell me sooner next time if you’re uncomfortable.”
Your nod of understanding offered a wash of comfort over him that you were calming down steadily. He hated that this happened. He knew that was the whole reason for your established safe word for when things went south or things got dicey. He just never thought you’d ever have to use it. He felt absolutely terrible. 
“I’m sorry, Sevvy. I really wanted you to get off, I just-”
“Please don’t apologize for this. This is my fault. I should’ve seen how tired you were and how I was being overly hard,” He said; “I’m the one that should be sorry.”
The sniffles from your nose had increased as you tried to flush down all the drainage from your crying. Your tears had stopped as you sat up from his body, wiping at your cheeks with the back of your hand. The red blotches in your puffy eyes were pinging at Severus’ already guilty conscience. He saw the littered hickeys across your neck and breasts, and how your lips were swollen from his severe kisses. He had rocked your burnt out body to the max.
“I’ll tell you what. How about we go get cleaned up, and then we can get into bed. Then you can tell me about your week if so wish.” He suggested, cautiously guiding you off of the bed.
“I think I just want to get a bath and get some sleep.” You said, barely able to stand on your wobbly legs.
“Okay, darling. Whatever you want.” He smiled softly, hoping it’d offer you some kind of solace. 
Severus ran you a hot bath, filling it with all of your favorite scents and smells. Your stance was still despite your shaking legs, and you seemed to be staring off into an endless trance. You slipped into the tub when it was ready, sinking down just below your nose under the bubbles. Normally, Severus would be sitting across from you or you’d be snuggled up on his lap, but he wanted you to have some space for a bit. You were honestly too tired to object. 
He simply casted a charm to freshen himself up, finding and selecting his favorite pair of sweatpants and soft shirt for you to change into. Your eyes were closed, and you had just begun to drift off to sleep when he re-entered the bathroom, changed into some casual day time wear, despite how late it was.
“Here are some clean clothes for you, pretty girl.” He remarked, setting the folded sweats and shirt on the end of the tub for you to get when you got out.
You only gave a light nod as a response, your eyes following him as he stood awkwardly. He was unsure of what to do for you now. He thought that you might want the bedroom to yourself for the night, which was fine because he wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing he had pushed you so hard anyway. He placed himself on the floor by the tub, sitting with his legs criss crossed over one another. It was quiet in the room, the only sounds were the occasional gentle splash when you moved your leg or arm. His eyes were still full of worry, and he was kicking himself big time now.
“I’m so sorry...” He breathed out, running his fingertips dragging leisurely your damp arm that you had resting on the ledge of the bathtub; “I never meant to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me, Sev. I promise.” You responded, wishing he wouldn’t take this so hard.
When it came to you, Severus took everything to heart. There weren’t many things in the world that made his heart beat with a purpose. You were the single person that allowed him to want to get up in the mornings. The thought of hurting you was enough to break him down. If he could have it his way, you would be indescribably happy with every passing moment of every day. He never wanted you to feel anything other than joy. 
But he knew that life would never allow it.
Your eyebrows dipped when you noticed his attire, wondering why he wasn’t in his own sleepwear. It was much too late for him to go anywhere.
“Where are you going?” You questioned, your voice thick with weary.
“I’m going to go back to the school. I have some grading to do.” He half-lied.
It was true that he did indeed have a stack of papers to be assessed, but that wasn’t the real reason why he felt like he wanted to leave. Severus Snape grading on a Friday night when he had the opportunity to be cuddled up with his lover? He’d choose you every time.
Now you felt bad for causing him to scurry off. You wanted him there with you regardless of what had happened.
“Severus,” You called out tenderly, reaching for his face; “I don’t want you to leave.” 
A genuine look of doubt flashed over his features as his head lulled into your hand.
“I think it would be best if you got some good sleep tonight. I’ll just be in my office so if-”
“Stay with me. Please?” You requested, the thought of sleeping without him was disheartening.
A sigh of awe expelled from his chest. He couldn’t say no to your puppy eyes and slightly pouting lower lip.
“Okay, okay.” He agreed.
“I think that some boyfriend snuggles will make me feel a whole lot better.” You spoke rather cheekily.
He hummed affirmatively. The sound of nestling up with you was impossible to turn down. He took your hand from his face and kissed your palm gingerly, holding the warm skin to his lips for a brief moment. He eventually stood from the floor, but stopped when you held your arms up.
“Help me up?” You asked with the first genuine smile of the evening.
He chuckled, obliging and lifting you effortlessly from the tub. The warm towel was heavenly as you dried off, changing into the clothes that Severus had left for you. Severus went and changed as well, laughing to himself when he exited the closet to see you already curled up. 
The sheets draped over him easily when he laid next to you, waiting for you to nuzzle up to him. He held you close and flush to him, thanking his lucky stars that you were okay.
“My sweet girl...” He hushed out, noting that you were just seconds away from falling asleep; “I love you.” 
You mumbled out a sleepy “I love you” in return before drifting into a deep slumber to snooze off the night’s drama. Severus, as expected, didn’t sleep much that night to ensure that you were sleeping soundly and comfortably. He still felt dreadful, even after you had told him over and over that he didn’t hurt you. The weekend to follow was filled with Severus doting and cherishing over you every chance that he had, trying to make up for what had happened. You were the light of his life after all.
And he prayed that he’d never see that flame go out.
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mercy-burning · 3 years
Text
Move This Along
Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After months of waiting, Spencer decides he finally wants to have sex with Reader. Category: SMUT (18+) Warnings: Language, sex (oral sex- female receiving, virgin!Spence, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie) Word Count: 5.6k
Full Request: “...so a smutty oneshot with like virgin!spencer but im talkling like baby spence. and hes super blushy and cute but then when it happens its rlly raunchy and therws a lot of dirty talk. and like reader doesnt work at the bau but theyre close friends. and like she goes out to a bar with him and the team and they tease him so then she takes him home and literally fucks him after a movie or smth idk...” — @mggscumrag
MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST
NOTE: It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to do this, but once I did, it came out so quickly! I hope it’s to your liking 🥰
***
The first time she went out to meet Elle's friends from work, Y/N found herself absolutely nervous, and she wasn't sure why. She was always great with meeting new people, but for some reason, the prospect of meeting her next-door neighbor's co-workers seemed to really do a number on her.
She remembers how anxious she'd been, constantly worrying that they wouldn't like her, not to mention they were all probably super smart and strong and intimidating, just like Elle. Anyone who aided in putting away serial killers, rapists, and other monsters had to be just about the most intimidating personality there ever was.
But as Y/N soon learned, that wasn't quite the case at all.
To be fair, they were all intimidating in their own little ways, though it was really easy to forget about that when she was laughing with them, sharing drinks and stories, and exchanging phone numbers to stay in touch.
That's how she and Spencer had come to be good friends. Despite how obviously shy he was whenever they saw each other, the two of them managed to have conversations on just about everything. It usually happened that he talked and she listened to whatever he was teaching her, but she'd always add on the occasional, "Wow, I didn't know that," or "That's really fascinating." All of which she could tell he was surprised at and appreciated.
And since the first time they met at Elle's birthday party, the night she met the whole team for the first time, they'd been practically inseparable. While Y/N was good friends with the whole team, save for Gideon, who always seemed to like it better by himself, her relationship with Spencer seemed to even surpass the bond she'd built with her neighbor-slash-best friend.
Elle even told her as much one Saturday night, as the two of them were driving to the bar to meet up with everyone for a few drinks.
She'd mentioned it as a joke, but Y/N was instantly apologetic.
Elle only laughed. "Don't apologize. Actually, I think it's good that Reid has another friend outside of work. You're good for him. And you know, I think he has a little crush on you."
Warmth rushed to Y/N's cheeks, and she tried to hide it but failed miserably, causing Elle to give her a knowing smile. "Y—You don't know what you're talking about, Elle, it's not like that."
"Oh come on, it totally is. You give him the light of day when no one else does, he talks about you all the time, and everyone at work knows it."
She paused. "They... do?"
"Of course they do, we're all profilers, but it doesn't take one to see how obsessed that boy is with you. I think you should go for it."
Y/N would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought about asking him out. But in the end she had always figured it was a little weird, being that she was friends with all his and Elle's co-workers and she'd kinda been adopted into their family of sorts. But hearing what her neighbor was saying... She started to think differently about it.
"You really think so?"
Elle nodded. "Absolutely."'
"Okay," she replied with an excited smile. "Maybe I will, then."
A week later and the two of them started dating. Y/N always thinks back to the first few weeks of their relationship, how adorably shy and blush-prone Spencer was, even after they'd been together for some time. They spent almost all their free time together, and it still seemed like he was nervous to be around her. He'd assured her on multiple occasions that that wasn't the case, but Y/N still wondered why he hadn't fully warmed up to being around her.
Especially in public. Oh, in public it was worse. Y/N clung to his arm, and his face immediately got red. What confused her the most, though, was that every time she pulled away to make him more comfortable, he pulled her back in, seemingly desperate to feel her warmth.
In the end she and Spencer had grown to develop their own little communication system for public settings, something to let the other know when something was really wrong, and when to ask if the other was comfortable.
One night everyone was meeting after a rough case somewhere in Denver, and Y/N offered to buy everyone drinks once Spencer had called to tell her they were all back. It wasn't out of the ordinary for her to do that, but it had been a while, so everyone was quick to except. Well, mostly everyone— Gideon as per usual went his separate way, and Hotch was eager to get home and see his family.
Y/N was waiting for them at their favorite bar downtown when she heard a loud squeal that sounded a lot like her name. Sure enough, it was easy to spot a very yellow-clad Penelope Garcia headed straight towards her with her arms stretched out for a hug when she turned around. The smile she adorned was instantaneous as her arms came out a well, embracing Penelope with a large hug that almost knocked the wind out of her.
"I missed you!" she exclaimed, still hugging Y/N and swaying them back and forth a little. "I mean, I know I don't ever travel with the team, but because of that we should hang out more."
"Next time I need some company, I know who to call."
Y/N spotted Spencer then, behind Penelope and patiently waiting for a greeting. She smiled at him and whispered, "Hi," to which Penelope must have heard.
She quickly released her from their embrace and stepped out of the way. "Oh! I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from your boy wonder."
She laughed as she transferred from Penelope's arms to Spencer's. He muttered a little, "Hi," into her hair as she squeezed him and shoved her face into his neck. If she had to bet, he was probably red as a tomato right now with how close her mouth was to his neck—it was his weakness and she knew it. And just to tease him a little bit she quickly kissed up his neck, his jaw, and placed a decent peck on his lips before pulling away and grabbing his hand.
Despite the shy smile and the blush adorning his cheeks, he squeezed her hand tight and kept her at his side like they would die if they weren't touching at all times.
Everyone gave little greetings to Y/N as they all made their way to a large booth near the back. Y/N was sitting on one side with Elle to her right and Spencer to her left, while Derek, Penelope, and JJ sat across from them. Y/N got them all their preferred drinks, and a beer for herself, which Spencer couldn't help but find oddly attractive.
He glanced over at her as she took swigs from the bottle as the night progressed, and for whatever reason the sight made his insides all warm and tingly. And when she used her unoccupied hand to grab his under the table, rubbing gentle circles over the inside of his palm with her thumb, he'd never felt more in love with another person. He wasn't even drinking any alcohol, yet his head swam and his heart soared all the same, every bone in his body humming with euphoria at just the mere thought of her.
He must have been staring a little too obviously, because Derek kicked his leg under the table, pulling him from the lovesick daydream he never wanted to leave.
"I can't tell if those are cute ol' puppy dog eyes or bedroom eyes," Derek laughed, and everyone laughed right alongside him.
"Oh, stop it," Penelope said, swatting his arm. "He's obviously just very in love with her, what more could you need to know?"
"Oh, come on, tell me you're not curious to know how they... operate."
She smacked him harder this time, and everyone laughed.
Knowing her boyfriend didn't really care for the spotlight, especially when it came to their relationship, Y/N squeezed Spencer's hand under the table in reassurance. She drew a question mark in his palm, their signal for, "Are you uncomfortable?" And he responded by drawing an "X" in her palm, their answer for, "No." She laced their fingers together then, and set her beer down.
"Morgan, our sex life isn't any of your business," she stated simply.
Spencer felt his stomach churn at the sentence, if only because said sex life was, as of late, non-existent.
He and Y/N had made out a lot, sure, but the one time they did try having sex, he made it about ten seconds being inside of her before he finished, and since then he'd been kind of embarrassed about it. They only ever made out since then, because before it ever got that far he stopped it, nervous that he'd disappoint her.
And now his non-existent sex life was the topic of conversation, and if anyone picked up on it, he would have felt worse about the whole thing.
So, he didn't stop himself from speaking. "But if you must know, it's great."
Y/N's hand tensed up in his, and she looked over at him, shock marinating in her eyes. To anyone else it would have looked like she was surprised he'd even bring it up, but he knew she was most likely more curious to know why he'd lied about it.
Their friends laughed regardless, Elle adding a curious and joking, "Care to elaborate?"
Ready to change the subject, Spencer shook his head. "Nope."
"Yeah, actually I think we're gonna head out early," Y/N added. Spencer was suddenly worried he'd made her upset, but she rubbed gentle circles into his hand that reassured him everything was okay.
He got out of the booth and Y/N followed, as their friends grumbled.
"Oh, come on, we didn't mean to embarrass you guys," Derek said.
"No, that's not it," Y/N said as she threw on a light jacket. "You just reminded me how much I'd like to operate with my boyfriend since I haven't seen him in a few days, so we're leaving. Have a good night."
Spencer felt searing heat rise to his cheeks as he turned around and ushered Y/N out the door, accompanied by low whistles and claps from their friends.
***
The two of them were sitting on the couch now, Y/N having just set down a couple classes of water.
"Sorry if you wanted to stay," she said quietly, playing with her thumbs. "You know we don't... actually have to operate if you don't want, obviously, I was just looking for something to say..."
"Oh, Y/N, I know. Don't worry about it. Really, I... I was the one who even brought it up, I should have just let you handle it."
She looked up at him with a small smile. "Why.. did you bring it up anyway?"
"Well, I... I guess I just felt embarrassed. And I know what we do together isn't any of their business, but I was just... I really was thinking about how much I love you, and when Morgan brought it up, I felt like I wasn't... living up? To your expectations? I don't..." He sighed, unsure how to properly articulate how he was feeling. "I don't know. I just thought about the last time we tried having sex, and I felt embarrassed about it, that's all."
"Oh, honey," Y/N cooed, scooting closer to him and bringing her hand up to brush some of the hair from his face. "You know, you... don't have anything to prove, right? I know how much you love me, and you don't need to be having sex with me to show me, I hope you know that."
Still, he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. "I do," he choked out, pulling at the hem of his shirt. "I'm... I'm sorry."
Y/N's tongue clicked, and she leaned into him, wrapping one of her arms around his neck and placing the other across his lap. She held him tight and kissed the side of his head. "Don't you ever be sorry, unless you cheat on me. Then there will be something to be sorry about."
He laughed at her joke, turning his head to brush his nose against hers. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she whispered, giving him the lightest of kisses on the lips.
When she pulled away, he leaned in again, kissing her a little harder, and she gladly reciprocated. With every passing second, all of his worries started to melt away like the snow to her sunshine. Within every kiss was an emanation of outpouring love and comfort that warmed his soul and gave him the confidence to try something bold.
His hands threaded through her hair as he drew her in closer, and instinctively, she climbed over his lap, resting her hands on his shoulders as he gently probed her mouth with his tongue. The sound of her sigh as she opened up to him and allowed him to fully explore her mouth with his made his stomach bubble and tense.
This would be about the time where he'd stop, telling Y/N that they should slow down, and she'd sweetly oblige and stay cuddled into his side as they drifted off to sleep.
But tonight he didn't want that.
Tonight he wanted more.
While one of his hands remained in her hair, gently massaging her scalp, the other snaked down to her lower back. He gently slid his fingers under the fabric of her shirt and pressed his palm flat against her, pulling her closer to him with a desperation that both shocked and excited her.
Deciding to test the waters, Y/N rolled her hips, feeling him jump slightly underneath her, followed by a whine that vibrated her mouth and sent a low hum of pressure through her stomach.
Still, she pulled away.
Well... She tried to.
When she pulled her face away from him, Spencer used the hand in her hair to bring her back, tilting his head in the other direction and continuing to kiss her with enough passion for the both of them. And it didn't help that the sound she made when he did it spurred him on. She whimpered loudly into his mouth, and the hand on her back involuntarily slid down to grab her ass.
"Hey," she managed to get out when he pulled away momentarily for air. "Hey, you don't... We don't have to really do this if you don't want. I—I don't want you to think that what happened earlier means we have to have sex."
"Y/N..." His hand gently kneaded her ass, and against her better judgement, she rolled her hips again, sighing out against his lips. "I don't want to put it off any longer... Really, I... I want to. I want to show you how much I love you."
She kissed him softly again, bringing both of her hands up to cradle his face. "You already do. Every day."
She was giving him an out, and Spencer appreciated it. But with the way his insides were practically melting away at her presence, he knew more than anything that this was what he wanted.
"I know," he said. "But if you don't mind, today I'd like to show you a little extra." And then he kissed her deeply again.
Her hands tightened on his face, right before they slid up and through his hair. She gently tugged at it, and he let out one of the most delicious sounds she'd ever heard. For future reference, she relished in that sound, in that feeling, and made a mental note to try it out some more when they got further along in their sexual path.
But tonight, she would let him call the shots. He was finally ready to try it again, and seeing how confident he grew in his touches and kisses when she submitted to him, it was the simplest decision.
So she remained on his lap until he made another move, encouraging him with whimpers and languid rolls of her hips against his. Her hands grew frenzied in his hair when he dipped his hand past the waistband of her jeans and underwear, sticking his fingers in only about a knuckle deep. The warmth of his hands against her bare skin sent shivers down her spine, which she let show by involuntarily grinding down on his lap.
Spencer groaned deeply more than whined this time, his grip on her hands gripping tighter to her backside. He forced himself to remove his mouth from hers long enough to breathe out, "Bedroom. Please."
As much as Y/N didn't want to get off of his lap, she knew that what waited for her in the bedroom would be worth the momentary loss of complete physical contact. So she peeled herself away from her boyfriend, grabbing him by the hand, and lead him to her bedroom.
Once the door was closed, he was on her again, caging her face between his large hands and capturing her lips in another heated kiss. They moved backwards until she hit her back against the door, and the second their movement stopped, Spencer used their standing position to press his full body weight into her, their legs tangling together.
Meanwhile, Y/N was trying to figure out where to put her hands. She wanted to brace them on his chest, but it was pressed tightly against hers. So they wandered over his back, but she couldn't decide whether to place them under his shirt or on his butt. Or maybe she wanted to grip his arms to feel the veins as they strained against his skin from holding her face. The possibilities were quite endless.
So endless that they were even surprising—Spencer noticed her wandering hands and promptly decided to place them where he wanted, which was apparently above her head. He removed his hands from her face and pinned her wrists to the door above her head, and she huffed a breath as he pulled away to speak.
"Is this okay? I wasn't too... too rough?"
The concern swimming in his lust-filled eyes drew a little whimper from her throat as she struggled to find the right words. But finally, she settled on, "That was so fucking hot..."
Relief flashed over his gaze right before he grinned. His fingers flexed against her wrists, and even though she couldn't see them, she could imagine how it looked. And it really was fucking hot.
Seeing the expression on her face, Spencer leaned forward again and kissed her one last time. Their lips moved together hungrily, dancing in perfect synchronization, the music being the frantic beating of their hearts.
And then he started to trail his kisses down her jaw and neck, keeping her hands firmly pinned to the door. Usually she was the one to explore his neck with her tongue and teeth, but this time he wanted to try it for himself. Mirroring what he'd felt her do to him hundreds of times over, he soaked in every single sound she made, from the little whimpers of pleasure to the soft, choked whispers of his name dancing over her lips. And when her hips canted forward, searching for any kind of friction, he decided to grant it to her.
As his kisses moved down along her collarbone, his hands gently slid down with him, over her arms and then down to the bottom of her shirt as he kneeled in front of her. He lifted the shirt slowly, each new inch of exposed skin being met with soft kisses until it reached her breasts. He reached up to palm them over her bra while he trailed his kisses downward again.
Even though she was wearing jeans, he pressed kisses to her legs anyway. She squirmed under his touch, and the feeling made his heart soar.
"Please, Spence," she huffed, bringing her hands down to lay overtop of his. She felt the tendons and veins in his hands as they squeezed her, and with everything she had, she tried not to beg him to use them in more interesting places. She wanted to let him take his time, to be a vessel for his exploration, but it was growing harder every second to be patient.
Thankfully he seemed to get what she was feeling, because his hands slid out from under her shirt and rested at her jeans. "Can I take these off?"
The fact that he even asked when she so clearly begged him to do it made her heart swell. "Please do," she chuckled, though it turned into a choked sigh when his fingers actually started undoing the button. And at the sound of her zipper going down, she could have come undone right there.
He pulled her jeans down slowly and helped her step out of them. And she thought maybe he'd take the next step and do the same with her underwear, but he opted to use his mouth instead.
With gentle kisses, he traced the hem of the fabric all the way to either side of her waist. And then he looked up at her with curious eyes and shifted his face, pressing his nose right up against where her clit would be. Her hands immediately went to his hair, but he grabbed her wrists again and laid them at her sides. "Do you want me to move this along?" His voice wasn't teasing as much as it was genuine curiosity.
Still, Y/N resisted the urge to tell him yes. "I—I want you to do whatever feels right. Tonight's... about you. What you want."
"Well, what I want is to make you feel good. So, again... Do you want me to move this along?"
Every time his lips moved, they brushed up against where she desperately wanted him. And it was killing her. So, she nodded vigorously. "Yes, please," she whispered.
And with that, Spencer released her hands and used his fingers to gently rub her over the fabric. The contact made her shiver visibly, and he took that as a good sign. So he wasted no more time and replaced his fingers with his tongue, fluttering his eyes closed at the taste of her. And he knew that once the thin fabric was gone it would be stronger, but even then he was thoroughly wrecked.
He kept lapping his tongue over her, feeling her panties get wetter with ever second, and he only finally removed them when she started grinding her hips closer to his face, desperate for more.
When he did finally bring his tongue to fully taste her for the first time, they both let out the filthiest sounds, months and months of build-up starting to come to a head. He tasted her like he would an ice cream cone, and for the first few moments his eyes remained closed, all his focus on this brand new sensation. But he wanted nothing more than to see her react to him. So he opened his eyes and continued his ministrations, pupils blowing wide at the sight of her above him.
She was panting, her mouth hung open and her tongue just barely peeking out over her bottom lip. Her eyes remained shut, though Spencer could tell she was struggling to open them. With a tentative flick of his tongue over her clit, he took notice of the little gasp she made, and he knew he'd found it. So he repeated his action, providing small kitten licks to her clit as she picked up her breathing and clenched her hands at her sides.
He picked up the pace then, taking note of every little thing that made her cry out or jump with pleasure until she was clutching his hair. He was sucking on her clit now, his middle finger gently sliding in and out of her when she spoke.
"Oh, fuck, keep doing that. I'm... I'm almost..."
He felt her tighten around his finger as she started careening off the edge, and he did his best to keep his eyes on her face, because it had practically been haunting him, wondering what it would be like to see her come undone at his mercy.
To say it was better than he could have ever dreamed was a severe understatement.
Y/N's head leaned back against the door, her chin jutted out so he could see the beautiful contours of her chin and neck. He saw her throat contract as she moaned out his name, saw her chest heave as she struggled to catch her breath, and best of all, he felt her flutter around his finger and mouth. And if that was high inducing, he couldn't wait to feel wat it would be like to replace them with something else.
The mere thought had him trembling.
He pulled back when she huffed out an over-stimulated, "Okay, please, please stop, oh..."
Though it could just as easily have been a painful sentiment, the hungry, dazed look in her eye suggested otherwise.
Spencer stood up and brought his finger to his mouth, still caught up in her taste before she ripped his wrist away and kissed him, threading her fingers through his hair and moaning into his mouth.
Before he could get lost in it, though, she pulled away and nodded. "Okay. I think you're wearing too many clothes."
He tilted his head down in a little flush, and with the help of Y/N, his shirt peeled away from his body and joined her pants and underwear on the floor.
Y/N mirrored his actions, kissing gently down his jaw, neck, and then down his torso. Her hands wandered his bare back as she sunk to her knees. But when her hands moved to his belt, he stopped her.
"W—wait."
She peeled her hands away and looked up at him. "Are you okay? Do you want to slow down?"
He visibly swallowed, and she could read that look on his face that he got whenever he was embarrassed to tell her something. "N—no, I... I want... the opposite, actually."
"I don't follow..."
"Well, I know that... if you return the favor, I won't last very long, a—and I... I don't want to wait anymore."
Y/N smiled, standing again and bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. "So you're saying you... want me to move this along?"
Spencer smiled at her recollection of his words. "Yes, please."
They travelled to the bed then, Y/N taking off her shirt and bra when they got there, and leaving her completely bare to him. She sat down and reached for his belt, looking up at him as he stood.
"I'm clean and on birth control, do you still want to use a condom? I have some in my table drawer."
He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. "As long as you're sure."
Y/N undid his belt quickly and threw it to the side, making work of his button and zipper with a smile. "Oh I'm so sure..."
The way she said it made his dick twitch, images running through his mind of how it would look seeing her filled and dripping with—
Her hand was palming him through his underwear now, and it was all he could think about. He had already been hard before, but now it was tilting on the precipice of painful pleasure. So he stopped her, taking a deep breath.
"Lay down?"
"However you want me," Y/N answered, positioning herself on the bed so she was leaning back, her head nicely laid out on the pillows.
Spencer swallowed and removed his underwear before climbing on the bed and kneeling over her. Her legs were already wide, feet flat on either side of him as he positioned himself and got ready.
She reached out and gently grabbed his forearm, a gentle smile on her face. "You ready?"
"Mhm," he answered with a curt nod, bringing himself forward to run the head of his dick through her wetness. They both sighed at the feeling, and Spencer knew he was in trouble.
It was finally happening, he was getting another chance to have sex with her, and if he didn't last long again, he was going to—
"I love you," Y/N said reassuringly, rubbing circles into the hand that rested on the inside of her thigh.
He looked into her eyes and saw that love radiating from them. It warmed his insides and gave him the confidence he needed to finally, slowly push into her as he whispered, "I love you, too."
Once he was fully sheathed inside her, he let out a large breath, leaning down to brace his arms on either side of her head. The pressure of her clenched around him was overwhelming in the best way possible, and he never wanted to move.
But he had to.
She stroked his hair, pressing soft kisses all over his face, and whispered, "I love you."
With those three words, Spencer had the courage to pull back and then forward again, testing the waters and more accurately, his limits. He picked up a slow pace that burned him from the inside out, every muscle and vein in his body on fire with the knowledge that he was finally, properly making love to the woman he was pretty sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
But he was holding back. Y/N could tell. He glided through her with ease, sure, but his eyes were squeezed shut like he was concentrating, like he was pacing himself and trying to hold on to this feeling.
She moved her hands down to his back and lightly ran her fingernails over the skin, feeling him tremble under her touch.
"You feel so good, Spence," she whispered. "So perfect for me..."
The words made his hips stutter just a little, and Y/N knew then what the hesitation was.
He wanted to go faster.
So she moved her fingers lower, cupping his ass and scratching featherlight circles into the skin as she moaned. "You like when I talk to you, baby? Does hearing my voice help you out?"
Spencer choked out a groan as he opened his eyes and saw how feral she looked. Her pupils were blown wide, her mouth was pouted cutely, and she smiled as soon as she saw him bite his lip.
"You wanna go faster?" she cooed, digging her fingernails a little harder into the flesh of his ass. "Hmm?"
"F—fuck, Y/N... I..."
"You fuck me however you need to, baby. Don't hold back. Just let it all out."
He groaned out then, his hips picking up speed. She felt the relief and the tension rolling off his body as he finally gave into his urges, and it was just about the sexiest thing she'd ever witnessed.
"That's it, baby... Don't stop... Give it to me, let me feel you..."
He leaned down and kissed her then, pumping into her harder and harder with every second. She moaned out against his mouth, swallowing all his breaths and grunts. Meanwhile her fingers gripped his ass harder, relishing in the feeling of his muscles as they aided in fucking her.
His mouth pulled away as he shoved his face into her neck, and she sighed. "You're doing so good, baby. Fuck... " His hips kept moving, and she clenched around him hard, hoping to gauge his reaction.
Sure enough, he groaned against her neck and canted his hips harder. Every thrust forward now was so deep he hit her g-spot, and the sensation made her sigh with a smile. "That's fucking right, baby... Just like that, don't stop, don't stop. You fe—el so... ohhh."
Her words lit this fire in him that was impossible to put out. His body was hers for the taking, and so he'd give her everything he had. Which is why he picked up the pace and fucked into her as hard as he could, dangerously close to finishing.
"Fuck, Spence, I'm gonna... —na..."
Y/n's moans turned into a quiet scream as she came, clenching tightly around his dick and digging her fingernails into his ass. Her eyes squeezed shut with the swirling patterns of fireworks exploding behind them, meanwhile he twitched inside of her and lost it at last. As she came down, she helped him hold himself there, deep inside her as his cum spilled over in warm increments. They both moaned out at the feeling, all their tension easing and dissipating.
By the end, all that was left between the both of them was a thin sheen of sweat and murmured promises of "I love you."
They could have fallen asleep right there. Y/N's hands slid up his backside, over his arms, and then to the back of his head, combing gently through his disheveled hair as he pressed loving kisses to the patch of skin where her neck met her collarbone. He was still inside her, unwilling to leave the warmth she provided, and she did nothing to object.
"How are you feeling?" she finally asked, opening her eyes.
Spencer tilted his head up to look at her, his heart once again swelling at the adoring look in her eyes. "I'm great."
She laughed, and he laughed with her. And they were silent for a few moments before he spoke again.
"So, uh... What we just did is what we're counting as our real first time together, right? Like, the other time doesn't count?"
Y/N laughed again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "If you want to count this as our first time, then yes. I'd be more than happy to agree with you."
"Good. This was much better."
Even though she would never hold their first first time together against him, she was inclined to agree.
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todrokishoto · 3 years
Text
bnha boys x tickles
character(s): bakugou, deku, denki, kirishima, todoroki
warning(s): tickles, blood (nosebleed), swearing? 
a/n: random idea i had. enjoy this hc/scenario thing while i work on some longer fics. p.s. i’ve never really written headcannons before so idk if i did it right lmao
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B A K U G O U 
mans isn’t ticklish 
trained himself to tolerate it bc being ticklish is for the weak 
won’t tell you that tho bc it’s a valid excuse sometimes ok??
like,,, let’s say you’re tracing mindless patterns on his abdomen right
the two of you are just lying on his bed in his dorm room
and while it might have been innocent enough on your part
he can’t help but be... flustered as your hand moves awfully close to the waistband of his pants 
feeling his cheeks heat up, straight up refusing to let you see how much your touch affects him, he swats your hand away with a grunt
“that tickles, dumbass,” he huffs, his voice slightly strained. you pretend not to notice. 
your eyebrows lift upward in surprise at his statement. not once had he ever mentioned he was ticklish. propping yourself up on your elbow, you let your eyes trail over his features, studying him. 
his eyes are closed but only after mere seconds of feeling your gaze, they open back up. his crimson orbs stare into yours, neither one of you breaking the prolonged silence. you, frankly, didn’t want to. bakugou, on the other hand, refused to - fully aware his voice would betray him again. 
he couldn’t believe he had just lied about being ticklish. but, letting you believe your soft touches had tickled him rather than admitting they made him feel things he know he shouldn’t seemed like the most logical option. yes. there was no way he’d reveal his less than innocent thoughts. 
“what?” he grumbles, quirking a brow questioningly. “take a picture. it’ll last longer.” 
you fish your phone out of your pocket, holding it up above him. “okay—” 
your words turn into a squeal as he smacks the phone out of your hand and grabs your arm, pinning it above your head. he hovers above you, eyes full of mischievousness, his teeth exposed by the grin dancing on his lips. you stare back up at him, eyes wide, body tense as you attempt to gauge his next movements.
“how ‘bout a taste of your own medicine, huh? since you seem to find it so funny.” 
and before you can protest, his fingertips dig into your sides, eliciting careless giggles from you as he tries his best to find your most ticklish spots. 
K A M I N A R I 
would tickle you on the daily just to hear your laugh
pls he’s a total sucker for your squealing giggles. they’re his favorite
this boy will find any excuse to tickle you; pinching your sides, blowing raspberries on your stomach while lying in your lap - you name it 
one of his favorite ways is to use just a teeny tiny bit of his electricity, making the ticklish that much more unbearable 
we all know his love language is physical touch, so he just can’t help himself really
but don’t even think about tickling him. boy will practically screm bloody murder and literally run away from you like a child running away from their parent when it’s time for bed 
you’re bored. so bored, in fact, that you’re even thinking about purposefully provoking your boyfriend’s explosive friend just for some entertainment. you quickly scrap the idea, not feeling like being the target of his harsh words today. 
your boredom quickly dissipates, however, as the yellow locks of your boyfriend come into view. he’s chatting animatedly with kirishima and sero, his back facing you. you put a finger to your lips as a pair of red eyes look at you curiously. luckily, the redhead understands and says nothing as you sneak up to the table they’re currently seated at. 
“hey, babe!” you greet loudly, your voice dripping with fake innocence. 
before he can turn around, your hands are at his sides, pinching and poking with all their might. an odd sound - something between a gasp and a grunt - escapes your boyfriend at the feeling and he flails his arms, desperately trying to escape your hold. 
you underestimated just how ticklish your electric partner is, it seems. because before you can dodge it and sero can warn you, denki pushes his chair backward, knocking you over in the process. your boyfriend whips around immediately at the sound of your body colliding with the floor. 
“oh my god, baby, i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean—” his apology trails off at the sound of your loud laughter. 
you’re clutching your stomach with one hand, attempting (but to no avail) to silence your laughter with the other. denki rubs the back of his neck, eyes full of confusion, while he tries to regain his breath from your surprise attack. once again, he catches you off-guard as he crouches down next to you, his fingers finding your tickle spot with ease. 
your laughter gets louder and he smirks. “not so funny now, is it?” 
K I R I S H I M A
mans has a hardening quirk
aka he can just harden his skin, so tickling him is basically impossible 
once in awhile, when he knows you just want revenge for the times you’ve been tickled by him, he won’t activate his power 
but still, he barely chuckles, which makes you frustrated™
he doesn’t really tickle you on purpose that often tho bc that’s not manly
will tickle you accidentally while rubbing your arms or breathing on your neck while cuddling 
you’ll squirm in his hold and he will just apologize with a laugh and hold you tighter
you sigh, shuffling ever-so-slightly, stuck within your boyfriend’s tight grasp. the two of you had been cuddling on one of the sofas in the common room, but he had succumbed to his exhaustion and had fallen asleep next to you.
normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. you had no issue being his pillow once in awhile and his cute, little snores made it impossible for you to wake him. today, however, he had fallen asleep in the crook of your neck and his soft breaths were tickling you. with every exhale, your body tensed as you tried your best to remain still.
“kiri,” you whisper, his nickname slipping past your lips with gentleness. “babe, wake up.” 
he stirs at the sound of your voice, his breathing halting momentarily. you wait in suspense but he only buries his face further into your neck, a long breath fanning against your exposed skin. you squirm instinctively. your movements must have alerted something in him because he begins shuffling shortly after. 
you can’t see his face but you can tell by his breathing that he’s slowly but surely waking up. you practically hold your breath, praying that he will move before you have to voice your discomfort. unfortunately, luck isn’t on your side it seems. 
“kiri, i love you, but please move,” you plead, pushing against his chest softly. his red eyes are filled with confusion as he props himself up to look at you. “you’ve been tickling my neck for the past fifteen minutes. i was going insane.” 
he pouts then. “aw, babe, you should’ve told me. you could’ve woken me up, y’know?” 
“yeah, i know,” you sigh, rubbing your neck where his breathing had been just a few seconds prior. “i just didn’t want to wake you, is all. you’re so cute when you sleep.” 
“you’re cuter,” he quips enthusiastically, poking your nose with his index finger. “okay, your turn to cuddle me instead. i’m not ticklish so lay wherever you want.” 
M I D O R I Y A
i feel like this broccoli bean would be ticklish everywhere?
either that or he’s not ticklish at all
maybe his body’s been beaten so many times that his nerve-endings are either overly sensitive or they barely feel anything 
idk™ BUT
sweet, freckled little izuku would also not tickle you without consent
we stan a respective king 
he would be so careful to apply a little bit of a firmer pressure to not tickle you
sweetie had been to flustered to ask if you were ticklish when you first started dating and it was too late to ask now 
you’re sitting next to him on the gras outside of the doors, relishing the feeling of the nice evening air against your skin. the two of you are chatting mindlessly. well, izuku’s doing most of the talking and you’re mainly listening, but you don’t mind at all. 
his arm is grasped between your two hands as you gently trace the scattered freckles and scars adorning his skin. he had been so flustered when you had grabbed it, unable to will the redness away from his cheeks. you had only giggled in response. 
izuku didn’t know why you seemed to be so fascinated by his scars. you had always asked questions about them, wondering if he remembered where he got them. always made sure to call him handsome on days where he was particularly bothered by the markings on his body. 
he loved it. he loved you. 
but as your continue to trace them, your touch featherlight, he can’t help the shiver that runs down his spine. he squirms, his hand clenching together and forming a fist. you take notice and halt your actions immediately. he turns to look at you, meeting your wide eyes. 
“did i do something wrong?” you ask quietly, feeling the guilt claw its way to your chest. 
“no!” he practically shouts, his voice a few octaves higher than normal. he clears his throat. “n-no, you didn’t. it’s just that... heh. i’m, uh, kind of sensitive in certain spots, i guess? and while i really don’t mind you touching my scars, you were so gentle and i-i just... it tickled.”
his chin tilts toward the floor, his bashful gaze flickering away from yours. you notice the pink dusting across his freckled cheeks but decide not to point it out, desperate to make your boyfriend feel at ease again. 
“zuku, say that next time! i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to tickle you. i didn’t even know you were ticklish, to be honest.”
he rubs his neck, peering over at you once again. he grins sheepishly. “i-i never told you, i guess. usually, i’m able to resist the urge to squirm, um, like that.”
“you’re so cute!” you gush, grabbing ahold of his hand once again. “i’m ticklish too, y’know. but i’ll let you find my tickle spots on your own.”
and, for the umpteenth time that night, your boyfriend blushes as he thinks about exploring your body to find your very own tickle spots. 
T O D O R O K I 
we all know he had a shitty childhood fck u endeavor
he never had tickle fights with his parents or siblings when he was little
so poor bby probably doesn’t even know he’s ticklish until you accidentally find his weak spot one day
let’s say you’re both cuddling in your bed right?? and things are getting a little heated 
so,,, you detach your lips from his, placing a kiss on his cheek, then his jaw, then his neck
and let me tell you - this poor boy doesn’t know what to do 
he tenses up immediately, slamming his chin down to protect his exposed neck, his jaw banging against your nose in the process 
“y/n!” he calls out immediately, chest heaving, his body still tense as if on high alert. he reaches out to you when he spots you holding your nose, your brows furrowed in discomfort. “i’m so sorry. i don’t— are you alright?” 
you nod, releasing a hum to confirm your response. your nose is throbbing, but when you open your eyes and meet shoto’s wide bicolored ones, your pain subsides quickly. poor boy looks so helpless - torn between reaching out for you and distancing himself. 
“hey, sho, it’s okay. i’m alright,” you remove your hand clutching your nose to shoot him a smile but you stop midway, noticing the crimson liquid on your palm. 
“you’re bleeding,” your boyfriend observes quietly, the guilt obvious in his voice. “i hurt you. i’m so sorry. i... what you did made me feel weird and my body just reacted. i, uh, i’m sorry.” 
he scrambles out of your bed, reaching for the box of tissues he knows you have stashed in your desk. he hands you a handful of them, awkwardly lingering by the foot of the bed as you wrap the paper over your nose, clamping your fingers shut around it.
you shake your head with a gentle laugh. “sho, it’s okay. i didn’t know you were ticklish there. i can’t really control what my body does when i’m tickled either, so i don’t blame you.” 
“ticklish?” he repeats aloud, almost as if testing out the word. 
you nod, the innocence of your boyfriend once again surprising you. you feel your heart ache slightly at the thought of him not knowing what the action is. had nobody ever touched him enough for him to find his tickle spots? 
“yeah. most people are ticklish somewhere on their body. usually either on their waist, their armpits, feet or neck - like you. it’s normal. typically, when people are touched where they’re ticklish, they’ll squirm and laugh.” 
he nods and you remain quiet as he processes the information. then, much to your bewilderment, he leans forward and grabs ahold of your side with his fingertips. he pinches gently and you jerk, narrowing your eyes at your boyfriend smiling harmlessly. 
“so, is that your tickle spot, then?”  
421 notes · View notes
noritoshiikamo · 3 years
Text
happy anniversary
first year anniversary gift is wood right? gojo satoru had just the thing. part 3 of this childhood friend drabble pairing: gojo satoru + fem!reader genre: smut bcs i think with my hand down my pants when i see gojo tags//warning: established relationship // gojo thinking with dick part 3, threesome, anal and double penetration thread lightly if u will note: the obligatory trio of mine: not well edited, lowercase intended, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it. lolololo okay idk if i did it right, never write a threesome but what better way to return to writing but to write a dp with gojo and nanami weeeee ENJOY!!
“nanamin?”
“yes,” she repeated the answer for the umpteenth time.
he tilted his head, a nervous laugh erupted out of his throat, “you want me to invite nanami kento, uhh, how do i say this without sounding like a complete prude- you want to have sex with him?” her eyes glimmered.
“and you,” she jabbed a finger on his chest, she smiled, “always with you.”
gojo satoru laughed, “buttercup, i ask you what you want for our anniversary, i expected an answer like a brand-new tesla or tiffany diamond or i don’t know-a private island?” she shook her head to his every suggestion, leaning closer into him like a needy kitten. he could feel hair raising on the back of his neck at the feeling of her bare arm brushing against his.
he eyed the tent building in sweats, his girlfriend wanting a threesome with his best friend and it’s turning him on. the idea of watching nanami kento manhandling his sweet, sweet buttercup enough to be a docile moaning mess made his dick twitched. he made note to belittle her for teasing him every time by saying he thinks a lot with his dick, but what can he do when his girlfriend is a soaking mess.
“so?”
his eyebrows shot up in curiosity, he glanced over to her and his jaws almost dropped down. the way she was squirming, getting off to the thoughts itself by rubbing her thighs together, her warmed skin and the lust clouding her eyes. “buttercup,” he cooed, pulling the girl onto his laps, “you really want it huh?” a soft oh escaped her lips as her burning crotch rested against his bulge. “look at that,” she grinned, pushing him against the sofa, his hands immediately went up to her waist as she slowly rubbed herself against him. she watched in satisfaction as his eyes rolled back, only the whites out, head back as he mumbled her name.
her lips traced the protruding collarbone of his, trading tiny licks of her tongue and kisses up to his neck and jaw, “the idea must’ve turned you on too, huh?” her breath ghosted over the shell of his reddened ear, she couldn’t hold her grin back as he let out a throaty yes. his grips on her waist tightened and her eyes widened as she found herself tossed on the sofa on her back. he pounced on her; lips pressed to each other as they scrambled to undress each other.
“before nanamin gets a taste of you, i need to make sure you know where your place is,” he growled as the button of her plaid came off with a single rip. “that this right here,” his hand moved lower to cup her moist cunt, pressing the palm against her bundle of nerve so painfully, “belongs to me.”
“always.”
gojo fished out his phone, hand pressed to her waist as he controlled her pace eagerly grinding against him, not wanting her to immediately be overstimulated before anything could happen. he pressed the phone to her ear, “talk,” he commanded before slithering down to remove her pants. “n-n nanamin, it’s me,” she stuttered as the voice at the other end greeted her. she watched nervously as gojo slowly undress her bottom half, his mop of white hair between her trembling thighs, she could feel his warm breath.
“is there anything wrong? i’m about to leave my office.”
gojo pressed a kiss on her thigh, “tell him to come over. you need help. he won’t come if i asked, but i know he would if you did, tell him it’s the scrolls,” he looked up, head tilted, and her breath hitched as she caught the look in his eyes. the jealousy and lust mixed up into one concoction which is gojo satoru.
“yes, y-yes would you mind coming over? i have issue with the scrolls you g-gave,” she jolted when his teeth sunk into the sensitive skin of her thighs. he had been leaving marks all over her thighs and it was enough to make her lose her mind and he didn’t even get to her burning loin.
“okay, i’ll be there in few minutes.”
the call ended and the way she sighed in relief as she tossed the phone on the coffee table with a loud clattering noise, had gojo smirking. “do you need to do that?” she breathed out, covering her warming face with her shaky arms. her relief was short lived as gojo dived straight into her soaking pussy, pressing his tongue flat from the base up to her swollen clit. she jumped, but his arms encircled her legs, holding her down tightly. the way his palm gripped her thighs served as a warning for her to behave; he’s still in control, for now.
“i told you. you need to be reminded that you belong to me before anyone else,” he hummed, lips against her swollen clit sending vibration to her whole body.
“‘toru f-fuck,” her legs desperate to close.
“you think you can come for me first?” he cooed, fingers tracing eights against her soaking cunt, “maybe i’ll prepare some holes for nanamin. i wonder which hole he’s gonna be in first. here?” her eyes rolled back as his two fingers slipped in her entrance, “or here?” his voice deepened as another finger rested at her other hole. her sudden clutching sucked the pinkies in, gojo cursed at the feeing of the tightness around it, despite not being fully in. “maybe i can have the other hole first, buttercup?” she nodded eagerly, mouthing something he couldn’t get.
she whined when his fingers left her, leaving her clutching on nothing as he left the sofa. she could hear his voice screaming from the bedroom before emerging out with a couple bottle of lube. his eyes glimmered in excitement. “you gonna need it all, buttercup,” his mood switching is something she was used too, a soft laugh escaped her lips before their little comedy club was cut short.
the doorbell rang.
she watched as his eyes darkened in excitement, “i wonder who is it?” dumping the bottles on the nearby chair, she watched as his boyfriend marched to the door. she could feel her face getting warmer, ears and neck too and she desperately searched for something to cover her exposed bottom. she wondered why it took them so long as she grabbed one of gojo’s clearly oversized robe draped on one of the chairs. her bare feet echoed on the floor as she stalked to the door, the sound of her feet pitter pattered on the floor distracting the men from their talks.
she swallowed the lump in her throat nervously, embarrassed that both of the men were now looking at her. nanami’s head tilted, a soft huff and tiny smile crept on the corner of his lip. “so, where’s the scrolls?” he asked nonchalantly. he walked inside, kicking his leather shoes opened, still arranging it neatly like a gentleman he is, and he stalked towards her.
she took her steps backward, her heart was fluttering, she could feel the beads of sweat rolling down her back. nanami looked at her with a tiny smile. like a predator stalking his prey except this predator is a clearly very handsome man she’s attracted too. gojo still the one she wants to spend her life with but what’s life without a little thrill. especially when gojo was willing to indulge her in.
“s-scrolls?”
“gosh, nanamin, do you really need to be mean to my girlfriend?”
gojo interrupted, hands in his pocket as he walked past nanami. he grabbed his nervous girlfriend, hands on her shoulders gently giving it a squeeze. “nanamin is just messing with ya,” he whispered, eyes on the blonde man, as he loosened his tie, “he agrees to be a part of our little adventure,” he planted a kiss on the shell of her ear, “lucky y/n, come.”
“nanamin! bed or sofa?” gojo asked cheerfully as he pulled the girl by her hand like a little doll.
“don’t be neanderthal, satoru,” from the corner of her eyes, she watched as he dropped his signature grey coat on the sofa, his glass long gone and the way he looked down on her almost made her moan on the spot, “bedroom. i’m not you.” her eyes widened as her feet were no longer on the ground. “satoru!” she yelled as the man tossed her on their california king bed, her robe came undone with the impact.
“so,” she watched nervously as the two men stood side by side; gojo with his arms folded to his chest and nanami undoing his tie, “which one would you like to have a taste first, buttercup?”
“is there any answer i could give that wouldn’t break your heart, toru?” she replied snidely.
gojo smiled, crawling onto the bed until they were close enough. he cupped her face, kissing her swollen lips softly before looking down lovingly to his girlfriend. this is his childhood friend, the love of his life and he couldn’t believe himself when he said: “for that, i think it’s appropriate for nanami to wear you down first,” he planted a kiss on her nose, a smirk on his face, “i’ll be back, buttercup. nanamin,” he pressed his hand on the younger man’s shoulder, harder than the way she sees it, “don’t break my girlfriend, would ya?”
the door closed behind them, leaving just the two of them in the dim room.
nanami didn’t move for a while, looking around and her, accessing his next possible move. with her sprawled on the bed, nanami couldn’t help but to water at the sight of her legs out and the lack of panties. “you don’t mind if i tied you up right, buttercup?” gojo’s nickname for her rolled off his tongue so smooth and sultry, she didn’t realise how eager she shook her head.
he chuckled and called her forward to the edge of the bed. she didn’t wait for his next instruction as the robe fell on the bottom of his feet and she knelt at the edge of the bed. he leaned forward and he kissed her so gently. he started off slow, tongue slipping through her already swollen lips, softly groaning at the way her lips tasted. his large hands pressed on both side of her face as the kisses became sloppier and urgent. her trembling fingers unbuttoned his shirt, running her soft palm along his solid abs, feeling every crook of it.
he broke the kiss; she was beyond desperate as he stared down her watery eyes and plump lips. “patience, darling,” he whispered with a wink. when his hands found her wrist, despite her soft whine, he gathered it behind her and held it together. his eyes bore deeply into her, searching for a reaction on every turn and tug of his tie around her wrist.
“so why me?” he tugged on the tie one last time causing her to breath sharply.
“just plain old curiosity getting the best of me.”
her answer brought a small smile on his face as he dragged her on the carpeted floor. she watched eagerly as he took his time to undress. the shirt and pants folded neatly on the nearby chair, socks and finally boxer leaving the man standing bare in his glory. he was trimmed neatly, just as expected and she could see the curve of his cock, girthy and adequate in length; not too straight but not too bent, just perfect. he scoffed.
“did gojo starve you of human contact? you look like you haven’t seen cock in ages,” he sat at the edge on the bed, his fingers calling her forward. gripping the base of his cock, he tapped the tip of his cock against her lips, and she eagerly stuck her tongue out. the feeling of her warm, wet tongue against his sensitive tip almost made the man thrusted his hips forward.
seeing his positive reaction, she continued boldly, wrapping her lips full around his tips. she swirled her tongue around the mushroom tip and the slit, humming at the taste of his pre cum. he tasted as good as gojo’s. his hand threaded her hair, gently encouraging her to move down the length, watching as inch by inch of his cock disappeared into her mouth. she fought the urge to gag, eyes watery when she realise, she didn’t even reach the base yet but his tips were already at the back of her throat. he chuckled.
“did i tell you to stop? you’re taking all in,” he gripped her hair harder, “loosen up, buttercup, you can take it.”
he pinched her nose, cutting her air supply forcing her to breath through her mouth. with her throat loosening, he gave a slight thrust finally bottoming out. “look at that, you can do it,” he caressed her bulging cheeks, before pulling out to give the girl some time to catch her breath. the mix of his pre cum and her saliva dripped from her lips; he gently brushed his thumb along it, popping it in her mouth. “such a good girl. be a doll and open up for me, okay?” he pressed a quick kiss on her lips, “you look so pretty wrapped around my cock.”
he realigned his length back to her lips, hands on both side of her face before slowly bottoming in. she squeaked, eyes widened at the roughness of his thrust. the squelching of her throat and his moans of approval had her clamping on nothing. she wondered if it was okay to touch herself, but her throat is preoccupied now to ask for permission.
“nanamin, can’t believe you’re letting her get off by herself,”
shivers rolled down her back as gojo rested his head on her shoulder. he had been watching for a while, seeing her little girl thrown on the floor, throat fucked by his best friend had him palming himself. he couldn’t wait any longer. “poor little girl,” gojo cooed, running his rough palm between her legs. she hummed desperately; head thrown back at the feeling of gojo’s thumb against her neglected clit while an opportunity for nanami to thrust deeper into her throat. she was buzzing with pleasure, head spinning from the multiple attentions.
they exchanged a look and a nod and soon, the girl was whiny as the men pulled away. gojo didn’t give enough for her to get off too and her throat, it felt empty. “that’s not fair,” she pouted. gojo laughed at her reaction, pulling his own shirt on the floor. nanami got on the bed, calling for her by her name. she was in trance. she was quick to climb on his laps.
she swore she could lose her mind on the spot; the feeling of both nanami’s and gojo’s hand caressing every part of her body. nanami’s lips around her hardened bud, lapping and leaving marks on her breast. gojo’s lips on her own, his hand around her neck with her head thrown back. he was muttering praises along with nanami’s hums of approval. she could feel gojo’s cock resting against the valley of her ass, thrusting slowly while nanami’s cock covered in her fluid, threatening to slip in any moment now.
“such a good girl,” she swore she could hear both muttered it.
she nodded; eyes rolled back agreeing to everything them said. reduced to nothing but a moaning mess, their little fuck toys. nanami held her waist, aligning himself before slowly easing into her. he let a loud fuck, groaning at the feeling of her tight gummy walls encasing his whole length. gojo swallowed her moans, palming her breast with on hand.
“does that feel good, buttercup? do you want nanamin to fuck you?” gojo teased, twerking her nipples between two fingers. she nodded, delirious and clearly overstimulated. “fuck, yes please nanami, fuck me,” she was far from done. nanami’s thrusts were gentle, easing in gently as he watched the bulge on her lower abdomen appearing and disappearing from his thrusts.
“lay down,” gojo ordered.
she cried out in pleasure, moaning at the feeling of nanami’s cock now hitting a new spot from the sudden change of position. he held her by her waist, holding her down as his thrust sped up. her sweaty chest rested against her, he could hear her heart racing and her tiny pants and mewls. “you trust us, don’t you?” he asked, and she mumbled a yes. she braced for whatever the two men had instore; nothing could surprise her anymore tonight. she felt a velvety cloth rested over her eyes, completely cutting her vision. the blindfold elevated her senses to a new level.
the low noises, the groan from the back of nanami’s throat that slowly rises as she bucked her hips into his, matching his thrusts, all of it making her more desperate for more. “ah, ‘namin, i’m c-close,” she gasped, air getting fucked out of her system with every thrusts. another hand- gojo’s- sneaked around her legs, circling around her clit and it didn’t take long for her to buck forward, screaming in pleasure her body finally given up. strings of curses escaped her lips, falling flat against his chest.
she wasn’t sure whose hands were slapping the flesh of her ass. she mewled pathetically at the pain, clenching on nanami’s cock with every spanks. “held her apart please,” an order came. one last spanked and soon, she could feel the cold air hitting her cunt stretching on nanami’s cock that was buried down to the base. she held her breath as she felt a cool liquid sliding down the crack and something resting on her other empty hole.
“you need to relax, or it won’t work,”
she gnawed on her bottom lips, eyes watering as she felt his tip gently easing in her tight ass. a soft word of relax repeated on the shell of her ears along with a shaky moan as her body slowly stretched to accommodate the sudden entrance of gojo’s length inside her. gojo pulled her up, resting her back against his chest as he held to her waist to steady himself. he moved slowly. her pain short lived after a couple of gentle thrust, quickly turning into pleasure as a moan spurred out of her lips.
“so full,” she groaned. nanami didn’t move, focusing on flicking her clit and letting her body adjusted to gojo’s slow thrusts. gojo pressed a kiss on her bare shoulder, “you good, buttercup? do you want me to stop?” he panted, halting his thrust slowly.
her only reply was a quick shake of her head before his mouth was back on her.
sure that she was back on track, nanami rolled his hips gently. their thrusts synchronized, with nanami out, gojo goes in, engulfing her in constant flow of pleasure. it didn’t take a while for her second orgasm to hit. they didn’t give a time to breath this time, desperate to chase their own highs and too overwhelmed in their own pleasures.
“fuck, baby if you going to keep clenching i’m not going to last long,” gojo breathed out, gripping her waist so tight, she could feel the bruises coming. their names escaped her lips like a prayer, her legs were bucking from the overstimulation but none of them aren’t backing out.
“switch?”
“yeah.”
she yelped at the sudden movement. she was empty, thrown back onto a chest of someone, by the laugh of it, she knew she was resting on gojo’s chest. his dick slipped easily into her soaping cunt, while nanami found himself groaning as he slipped into her ass, still tight despite being occupied earlier. gojo’s hands gently pushed her hair back, cupping her face watching it contorted in pleasure, tongue lolling out with drools down the side. “you feeling good, buttercup?” he chuckled. she was fucked beyond dumb, bruises littered her body, he couldn’t wait to see it peeking through her skirt and shirt when she goes to her office. he wanted to see her assistant leering jealously, judging his marks on her body.
he groaned at the thoughts of it, dick twitching to fill her up.
“cum, ngghh, a-again,” she stuttered.
“hold it in buttercup,” he roughly cupped her cheeks, “we are about to fill you up too.”
she let out a desperate cry, nanami pulling on her restrains and gojo was roughing up on her breasts and neck. she couldn’t last any longer, feeling her abdomen tightened. gojo threw his head back, the feeling of her walls spasming around his own caused him to come undone.
his own legs trembled, shooting ropes of cum deep inside her walls. their mixed fluid leaked down her thighs and down on gojo. she braced as nanami pressed his face against her back, groaning as his own orgasm washed down on him. his thrusts slowed down, strings of fuck escaped the man. he rested his face against her back, struggling to catch his breath with his hand griping tightly on her breast.
nanami pulled out, falling on the edge of the bed. she slipped out of gojo's, immediately falling on her side, visibly too exhausted to even sit up.
“fuck, i can’t feel my legs,” finally, her brain could string up a couple words, “undo the restrain please,”
she held her arms, face buried in the bed. she hissed as someone undo the restrain, red raw marks forming around her wrists. she was too weak to fight when gojo spread her legs apart, an amusing chuckle escaped the boyfriend. cum were oozing out of both holes.
“buttercup, you’re full and leaking,” he pressed a kiss on her thigh.
she felt the bed dipped behind her and nanami’s deep voice greeted her, murmuring apologies and praises. he planted kisses all over her neck and jaws. “hope you enjoy your anniversary gift,” his deep voice chuckled before he left the two lovebirds for the bathroom. a body loomed over her.
“happy one year, buttercup,” gojo’s lips pressed gently on her own, “you’ve made me the happiest man-child alive.”
she smiled, tracing her fingers on his protruding collarbone, “glad to know you’re happy with me.” he grabbed her hand, gently kisses each digit and the burn mark on her wrist. he pressed her palm on his sweaty cheeks, a cheeky smile on his face, “not to ruin the moment but i feel like foursome is a bit cliché for our second-year anniversary.”
“yeah, because first-year anniversary threesome sounds right.” she rolled her eyes.
“it did say that the first-year present is wood.”
she scoffed, “first-year traditional gift for anniversary is paper, dumbass.” she pulled him down for a kiss, “but you're my dumbass, s'kay,” she mumbled against his lips, a small smile appeared on his face. a satisfied chuckle leaving him as she moved to cuddle up against his chest.
532 notes · View notes
hyuckssunchip · 3 years
Text
[1:35 am]
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Pairings: Jeno x Reader
Words: 845
Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), fluff
Synopsis:
programmer boyfriend drabble 
I know he’s a gamer, but I feel like he also gives me nerdy programmer vibes too. idk, he’s hot in glasses tho.
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Behind the bold wooden door, you could hear the faint padding of your boyfriend’s footsteps, shuffling towards the entrance in order to let you in.
“Y/N?” He glanced at the clock on his adorning the table by the front door. “Shit. Is it six already?”
You frowned at his ruffled appearance, his hair still sticking up in different directions, as if he was pulling at it for hours.
“You okay?” You asked him, following him past the door. 
You watched as he rubbed the back of his head in distress. “Yeah. I guess I just lost track of time.” The guilt was obvious in his voice and you frowned.
He settled in front of his computer for a moment, rubbing his hands over his face. 
“Were you working on something?” You asked, peering over his shoulder at the busy computer screen.
“Yeah, I just need to finish my code, but I dunno I’m stuck.” He let out a labored sigh and turned to you. “I’ll figure it out soon though, give me half and hour at most.”
Not too worried, you smiled back nodded in agreement. You plopped yourself on his bed, adjacent to his desk.
But an hour and a half later you were plugging in your phone to his charger, nearly dead after surfing.
You heard a loud groan from your boyfriend who was now throwing his head back in frustration.
Unable to stop yourself you stood behind Jeno, and leaned over the back of his chair, rubbing your hands down his chest from behind. You left a couple soft kisses on his cheek before snuggling your head next to his.
“You good?” 
“I don’t know. It’s just not working.” He mumbled out.
“I know I’m probably not much help, but if you need me... I’m here.”
With one last kiss as an attempt to comfort him you laid back on his bed facing him. Your eyes followed the furious tapping of his hands on his keyboard, and you couldn’t hold your sad gaze. It hurt you to watch him struggle and you wanted so badly to help him, but you didn’t know what you could do.
A couple unsuccessful minutes pass and he turns to look at you, a sigh escaping him. 
“Screw it, I give up. Let’s just go, I can’t figure this out.” He groaned out, exasperated at his problem.
“Jeno, the date isn’t an issue, I’m not upset. Really.” You sent his a smile. “You should focus on your assignment.” You urged him, nodding in the direction of his screen.
He sighs reluctantly, but returns to his screen in agreement. Hands furiously typing away on his keyboard.
You let almost another hour pass before you become tired of watching him so distressed. 
You rose from your comfortable position on his bed and move towards your favorite spot. Jeno doesn’t seem to hate the idea as he moves his arms, allowing you access. You clamber into his lap, automatically laying your head in the crook of his neck, nuzzling deep into him. It seems that this did the trick, as you feel his arms relax around you, as he leans against you, simultaneously trying to figure out what’s wrong with his code.
Comforted by each other’s body warmth, and the steady rhythm of Jeno’s heartbeat had your eyes drooping quickly. Eventually you turned your head to the side, plastered against his chest. Your eyes wandered over the busy screen, eyes following his curser, only enhancing your melancholic mood.
You scan over the contents of the screen tiredly, not really paying much attention to the thousands of lines. As your eyes grew tired, you let out an involuntary noise that had Jeno pausing.
“What?” He tried to look down at you, but the close proximity made it difficult.
“Isn’t there supposed to be an ending parenthesis there?” You asked, not confident in the limited knowledge you had in programming. You simply pointed out what you had noticed.
Jeno frowns, squinting at the lines, almost immediately finding what you commented on.
He lets out a curse, fingers once again flying over the keyboard. Moments later he ran his code successfully and you were rewarded by his sounds of triumph.
“I fucking love you!” 
You giggle pushing him away, “Okay, now turn it it before you forget.”
He turns back to the screen one last time, and you giggle at his celebration the moment he clicks on the submission button. Whilst he’s doing that he refuses to let you out of his lap, his grip on you tightening as he lands wet smooches all over you.
He pulls you over the bed, choosing to pull the blankets over you in order to get comfortable. Jeno pushes his way into you, wrapping you in his grip. He cuddles with you leaving lazy kisses on top of your head.
“I’m sorry about our date. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He mumbles against you head, the little pout had your stomach doing spontaneous flops.
“It’s fine, a date can wait, besides I’m here with you and that’s enough.” You felt his smile grow as he tugged you even closer than you thought was possible.
“I love you.”
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weelittleweasley · 3 years
Text
one more night (g.w.)
prompt: after a bad breakup, george comes back to y/n’s flat to pick up some leftover things he missed. one of these missing things was a proper goodbye.
pairings: george weasley x fem! reader
warnings: 18+ sexual content MDI (break up sex, soft sex, unprotected sex), super angsty, language, emotional break up, crying
word count: 3.7k
author’s note: something about break up sex really does it for me. like...it’s so hot and for why? anyway, here’s wonderwall. flashbacks are conveyed through italics. 
taglist: @rosaliepostsstuff @harrysweasleys @gcdric @lumos-barnes @whizboingies @lumosandnoxwriting @pxroxide-prinxcesss @c-t-h​ @lol-idk-oops @another-lonely-heart-blog @starlightweasley @parseltongueswriting @shilohpug @peachypotter​ @spacexcowgirl​ @vogueweasley​​
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The small cardboard box that sat next to the door was completely pathetic, sitting there in shame. The cardboard could barely hold the boxes contents, wanting to burst at its seams as it held every shred of George Weasley that was in your flat. You wanted your flat to be a George Weasley free space, but a part of you wanted to keep the magic of your relationship alive. He couldn’t miss his quidditch jumper from Hogwarts, could he? It had been years since you graduated, he wouldn’t remember that you had it, right? So, his jumper hung proudly in your closet like the status of your relationship hadn’t changed.
As you leaned against your kitchen island, sipping quietly from your coffee mug, you stared at the cardboard box, hoping that the intensity of your gaze would make the box combust into flames. But it stayed still. Unaffected. George’s things teemed out of the box, miscellaneous shirts and jumpers and trinkets piled high. You caught yourself smiling as you shook it off, reminding yourself of the status of your relationship, cringing as you did so. 
The night of your break up played on a constant loop, like a movie trailer. When you woke up, it was the first thing on your mind. When your head hit the pillow, it was the last thing you thought of when you closed your eyes. It was a sick cycle.
“I can’t change my work schedule to fit yours, George. I’ve done it in the past so often and I can’t anymore. I’m finally on my own two feet and I need to keep the ball rolling,” you explain to George as you sit at his kitchen table as George paces the living room, back and forth, pulling at his red roots, trying to formulate a response. “Admit it, George. We can’t m-”
“Don’t you say what you’re going to say, (Y/N). Don’t you bloody dare,” he speaks as you sigh, rubbing your face with your hands. You didn’t want to have this conversation with George, but it was unavoidable at this point. You had just gotten a job as a full-time Healer, working in St. Mungo’s, your dream job. But the busy work schedule that you had was failing to align with George’s schedule working the joke shoppe that just seemed to do better and better every day. “We can work this out. We can’t just give up at the first sign of hardship,” George laughs as you give him a knowing look. You had been trying to make it work for a month, but things simply weren’t working. When you did see him, it would be for two hours and the two of you would be so exhausted that you would talk for five minutes before going to bed. “(Y/N), I don’t want to be the one to suggest this, but I can support us. The both of us. The joke shoppe is doing so well and with the booming business, I have enough money for me to sell this flat and we can buy a home together. Start a family. What we’ve always wanted to do!”
You rise from your chair at the thought of quitting your job. Something you had worked years and years towards and George dared to bring up the suggestion of you quitting a month and a half in. “I am not quitting,” you say very sternly, making George sigh, knowing he shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. “I have worked my ass off to get where I am right now and I’m not going to sacrifice that for the sake of our relationship!” you exclaim.
But that was wrong of you to say; it just put wood on the fire. “So how far would you go for our relationship?” George challenges, folding his arms across his chest as you gulp. “Because Godric knows everything I have done for the sake of us.”
And he was right. George shifted employees and his own work schedule so he could have an extra hour with you some nights. He would close the shops on holiday weekends, which was prime for sales, so he could take you on romantic getaways. George told you to move in with him when you struggled to find a flat of your own. He helped get you through Healer school. George put you before him in the relationship and you knew that. You felt guilty now. You shouldn’t have said what you did.
“I didn’t mean it like that, George,” you sigh, admitting defeat as George scoffs. “I meant that I can’t give up my dream. Just when I finally got it. And I don’t want you to give up yours. It’s not fair for the both of us,” you try to tell him as he shakes his head, knowing the direction the conversation has turned and he doesn’t like it one bit. So much so that you can see his eyes become glassy as he turns his head away from you so you didn’t have to watch him break down. “George, I love you. The life you have given us has been nothing short of wonderful.”
“Stop it, please,” he manages to croak out, turning towards you, his chocolate brown eyes pooling with hot tears. The sight makes your heart shatter as you suck in a shaky breath, swallowing the lump in your throat. Tears were impending. “I don’t want to let you go. I can’t let you go. Not like this,” George holds your face in his hands, brushing your cheeks with his thumbs, gazing into your eyes with so much love he could burst. You let go of a shaky sigh as you lean into his touch and close your eyes, savoring the way his large hands held your face with such ease. “I’m not letting you go, (Y/N). I’m going to love you forever and ever and there’s nothing you can do to change that.”
You open your eyes and give George a sad smile as he sniffles. You reach up and press your lips to his, your kiss mixing with both of your salty tears. This love that you possessed for each other was greater than anything you have ever known. But the universe was trying to tell you that this wasn’t working. For the both of you to live the lives you always dreamed out you had to let the other go. No matter how hard it was going to be. 
The two of you pull away from your sweet kiss before you speak, “I’m never going to stop loving you, George. Nothing will change that. But for now, we need to let go. For both of our sake’s.”
The memory is interrupted by the buzzer going off in your flat. “Shit,” you huff as you scurry over to the intercom. You buzzed him in as you writhed your hands in anticipation, pacing your living room floor. Your eyes dart to the box. Should you move it? Keep it close to the door? If you keep it next to the door does it say you want him out for good? What if you put it on the table? Is that more of a welcome in? Should you let him come in? 
Too many thoughts clouded your mind before a gentle knock sounded on the door. Your heart froze and you stopped in the living room. “Bloody hell,” you breathe out as you look at yourself in the mirror, checking your hair and smiling to see if anything was in your teeth. “It’s just goodbye, (Y/N). Just goodbye,” you tell yourself before you walk over to the door, undoing the latches and locks.
When you swing it open, George stands there, fresh from a shower it looks like. His hair is slightly damp, hanging on his head rather than spiked up and slicked back like it usually was. Like you loved it. A gray t-shirt hung on his body, clinging on his arms, the front tucked into dark wash jeans. “I’m sorry I’m late,” he huffs with a small smile. “Work was crazy and I had to take a shower before I came over. I hope you don’t mind,” he speaks.
You gulp, trying not to blurt out how good he looked right now, the scent of his cologne making your body tingle as if it was some sick love potion. “Not at all,” you manage to say instead, thankfully. “Uh,” you tremble before looking down on the other side of the door to the box that taunted you. Picking it up from the floor, you extend it out to him. “This should be everything.”
George takes it from your arms and huffs, “Great.” He holds it in one of his arms with ease, his biceps flexing under his gray shirt as you watch, eyes hungry. This was some kind of sick joke, wasn’t it? With his other hand, he rummages through the piles, making sure he had everything. “Uh, my quidditch jumper is not in here?” he asks, but it was more of a matter of fact. 
Damn it. You had been caught. You had to come up with something, quickly. “Oh! Yeah! I forgot!” you try to act surprised. “It’s, uh, I washed it. Yeah, um, it’s in my room,” you close your eyes and shake your head. “One minute. You can come in if you want,” you open the door wider as George smiles and makes his way in your flat as if it were his first time here when in reality, he did have his own set of keys. You shut the door and watch him awkwardly stand into the living room, watching you. “Alright then.”
You scurry into your bedroom and push open your closet door, shuffling through the hangers, finding George’s quidditch jumper proudly hanging in the back in it’s crimson and gold glory. Plucking it from the hanger, you sigh in defeat. So much for that endeavor. You flip around to run back into the kitchen where George was waiting, but you were startled to see that he had followed you into your bedroom. “Oh,” you jump.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” he chuckles. “I didn’t know if I should have followed you or...” he trails off, awkwardly as you gulp and nod your head. “Seems like you found it.”
“Yeah, here it is,” you hand it to him, trying to savor the feeling of the knit material in your fingertips. It would be the last time you felt that material for a while. “Sorry about this mix up,” you tuck your hands into your sweatpants pockets, rocking back and forth on your heels.
George smiles and shakes his head, “No need to apologize. Honest mistake,” he speaks as you nod your head with an awkward chuckle. Yeah, honest mistake... “I’ll, uh, I’ll head out then, yeah?” he asks with raised brows.
You nod, “Sure. Yeah. Yeah.”
The two of you start to make your way out of your room, but George stops in his tracks when something catches his eye. You stop and follow his line of sight that landed on a framed picture of the two of you from one of your first holidays together. In the photograph, George held up the camera at the two of you, his arm wrapped around you tightly as you leaned into his chest, cuddling into his tall figure. The both of you were mid-laughter, the beautiful beach behind you, the sun fading the back. George smiled softly at the photo as you watched his face shift, your heart fluttering at his reaction. “That was a good holiday, wasn’t it?” he chuckles, walking towards your dresser where the frame stood proudly. It had been two weeks since the break up, but you didn’t bother taking any photos out of the frames yet. You couldn’t bare it. That would mean George was gone for good. 
You smile softly and walk next to him as he gazes at the photograph, all the memories resurfacing of the beautiful beach and the small cabana George had gotten for the two of you with the graduation money he had saved up. “It was,” you recall. “It was like a dream, honestly. We were so young back then,” you say in disbelief. It was true. You were both just eighteen in that picture and now here you were, twenty two, post-break up. The two of you had grown up so much since that holiday. You wish you could jump through the picture and tell your younger self to relish in every moment you had with George because each moment was beautiful. 
George laughs, “We look so young. Merlin...” The two of you chuckle at the photo. “We were so happy,” he sighs before looking at you. You don’t dare peel your eyes from the photograph, knowing that if you look at him right now, you’d melt and give into him. “Look at me please,” he speaks just above a whisper.
Shaking your head, you speak, “I can’t, Georgie. I can’t bear it.”
His heart flutters at your nickname for him. “I want to take a look at your eyes. A good look. One last time and I promise I’ll go.” George reaches out and touches your hand gently, as if you were made of glass and the slightest touch would break you. “(Y/N).”
With a gulp and mustering up all your courage, you turn your gaze to his and your heart melts at the sight. If a look could speak. His eyes were so sad, but filled with so much longing and love and adoration. The face you loved so much, full of so much tenderness, staring down at you. He made you feel like you were the only person who mattered. Because to George, you were. 
The two of you are just looking at each other, absorbing each other’s features as much as possible before one of you dares to speak up. Slowly, George reaches up and cups your face, like you were so used to. “George,” you sigh out breathlessly as you lean into his touch, tears welling up in your eyes. You can’t believe you had to let him go. “I just want to be happy again. With you.”
George gives you a sad smile, “I do too, angel. More than anything. It’s my only wish. Even if it’s just for another day.”
His words make the wheels start churning in your head as you lick your lips before saying, “Then let us have one more day. One more night together. I don’t care if it’s temporary. I just want one last memory with you, Georgie.”
George’s eyes search yours as you desperately hold onto him, needing him, wanting him, yearning for him. George brings your face to his, connecting your lips in a kiss that was unlike any other kiss you’ve ever had. It made the hair on your neck stand up. Your arms wrap around his neck as his wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him. The kiss is full of urgency and desire, as if you didn’t take each other right now, there wouldn’t be another opportunity for this. 
You break apart from the kiss to pull George’s shirt over his head as he does the same to you only to reconnect your kiss. His lips move against yours, hungrily, passionately as you moan gently into his mouth. George grabs your thighs and hoists you up as you wrap your legs around his torso as he walks over to the bed, laying you down gently, kissing your lips, neck, and collarbones. His lips leave trails of wet kisses as you run your finger through his still damp hair, tugging on it gently. “Please, George, please,” you whine as he kisses the valley between your breasts.
He pulls himself away from your chest to kiss your lips again. “Anything you want, angel. Say the word and I’m all yours,” he tells you, brushing your hair gently. You grab his face and pull him down to connect your lips again, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you arch your back, pushing your chest into his. His tongue massages yours as his hands unclasp your bra, throwing it to the floor. 
“I want you to make love to me,” you mumble against his mouth as George smiles softly, his heart fluttering. “I want you to make love to me, Georgie. I want to remember this night for the rest of my life.”
“Anything, angel. Anything you want,” he repeats himself as you both breathily laugh, reconnecting your lips, stripping the other of their remaining clothes. Soon enough, the two of you are naked and George breathes out, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
You connect your lips again before you place kisses along George’s jawline as he hovers over you, lining himself up to your entrance, pulling your legs farther open as you wrap them around his torso. George runs the tip of his hard dick up your wet pussy as you bite down on your lip with a sharp inhale. “Please, baby, please,” you beg him which only makes George obey you, pushing his whole length into your aching core as you both moan out in satisfaction. He fills you up in a way that is so familiar and delightful as you dig your nails into his biceps. “Shit,” you moan out as George starts to move, thrusting in and out of you slowly.
“Fucking hell,” George groans out. “You feel fucking incredible,” he breathes out, his hips moving smoothly against yours, pumping his hard cock in and out as your walls tighten around him. “You like that, baby?”
With a whimper, you moan out, “I love it, baby. Keep going, don’t stop. I love the way you fuck me. Fuck, George.” George continues to thrust in and out, picking up his pace, going in deeper as your eyes flutter shut. Your nails dig deeper into his shoulder as you groan, “Right there, baby, right there. Don’t stop, don’t stop.”
Your praise makes George push your legs open wider so he can push impossibly deeper into you, before hoisting one of your legs over his shoulder, making the both of you cry out in euphoria. “Shit, I love the way you feel wrapped around me. Say my name, baby,” George groans.
“Oh, George, fuck, baby,” you moan out louder, head tossed back against your sheets as George buries his face in your neck as you hold onto him. He pounds into you deeper as you are panting in a state of nirvana. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum,” you dig your nails into George’s flesh as he presses love bites into your neck.
He looks at you and speaks, “Look at me, angel. I want you to cum looking into my eyes, baby.” You peel your eyes open and look into his brown eyes, dark with a mixture of lust and love. “I love you, angel.”
As he continues to thrust, you feel the familiar knotting feeling in your stomach as your jaw drops. “I love you,” you breathe out, looking deep into George’s eyes. “I love you so much, baby. I love you, I love you.”
“I love you, I love you,” George repeats as you reach your climax, crying out his name in pleasure, head rolling back as you clutch the sheets, coming all over his dick. Shortly after, George finishes, moaning out your name, the both of you a symphony of moans and heavy breathing. 
The two of you come down from your highs as he pulls out and lays on the bed next to you, chests heavy with the rise and fall of incoming and outgoing breaths. You run your fingers through your hair before rolling onto your side to face George who stares at the ceiling. A small smile is on your lips as you place a hand on George’s chest. He turn his gaze to you and a toothy grin is on your face as you giggle, George pulling you close to him with a breathy chuckle. He places a kiss to your temple. The two of you cuddle next to each other, naked underneath your sheets, happy to be resting in each other’s arms. 
That is until George speaks, “You didn’t really wash my jumper did you? You were trying to keep it in hopes I didn’t notice, weren’t you?” You can hear the smile in his voice as you roll your eyes. “You were!”
You sit up, “I was not!”
George laughs, “You cheeky little thing! You were trying to steal my clothes from me after we broke up!”
The two of you are in a fit of laughs, laying next to each other, enjoying the feeling of skin on skin next to each other. You rest your head on George’s chest as he rubs your back. “I wish we could be this happy all the time,” you confess as George sighs, wishing the same thing. But the two of you knew that this wasn’t working anymore. The break up was for the best. 
“I do too, my love,” he agrees. “But I don’t want to focus on what we wish could happen. Let’s just enjoy tonight while we have it, okay?” he speaks as you nod, cuddling further into his touch. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
Minutes later, the two of you had fallen asleep, entangled in each others arms, the last words on your lips being confessions of love. 
The morning comes as quickly as you fell asleep. You stretch your arms out and pat the area of the bed next to you, searching for George. But you quickly realize that your George wasn’t there. 
In his place was a piece of parchment that had scribbled onto it, I didn’t want to leave before you woke up, but work calls sadly. Thank you for last night. It was the best night of my life. I love you, (Y/N). I always have and I always will. That will never change. You are my angel. Love always, Your George. P.S. You can keep the jumper. It looked better on you anyway.
A few feet away from the note was the jumper on the edge of the bed, laid out in it’s glory as a small smile made its way onto your face. You reach over and pull the jumper onto your naked body, inhaling the fabric that smelt so much of George, making your heart flutter. “Maybe someday,” you whisper. “Maybe someday, my love.”
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mellowswriting · 3 years
Text
ambrosia
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pairing || Steve Rogers x fem!Reader
summary || You’ve been having a hard week. There’s nothing Steve loves more than taking care of his girl. 
word count || 2,318
warnings || oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, soft!dom Stevie, slight degradation but like... sweetly? idk, unprotected sex, slightest breeding kink if ya squint, slight cockwarming
a/n || Hello yes it is I, the local harlot here to bless you with some smut and feel goods in a totally not self indulgent fic bc I was having a hard week.
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It had been nearly an entire week since you had seen Steve.
Normally, that wouldn’t have been a problem. Hell, there had been times where you didn’t see him for months when things got tricky on his missions. It was more the fact that in the time he had been gone, you had barely slept more than a handful of hours a night if you were lucky and the one thing that was like magic for your insomniac brain was Steve’s embrace. It all started when you accidentally stayed awake into the hours of the early morning. The muse had struck and given you the blessing of inspiration that quickly became a curse of not being unable to set aside your work until it felt just right. That wasn’t until three in the morning, of course. Then you napped the next day from the lingering sleepiness, effectively throwing your sleep schedule entirely out of whack.
Little things that usually would be a minor annoyance at best left you viscerally frustrated, each inconvenience building one upon another until you were left too overwhelmed to complete even the simplest of tasks. You managed to trudge your way through your other responsibilities, leaving you with only laundry and tidying the kitchen to concern yourself with but the pile of clean laundry that sat in front of you waiting to be folded felt impossible. Instead of feeling proud of how much you had already accomplished, you were angry with yourself for not getting more done. Tears of frustration pricked your eyes, which only made you feel even more ridiculous.
The sound of the front door opening and closing broke you out of your annoyed trance of glaring at the laundry basket and you quickly wiped the tears away when you heard a familiar voice calling from the entryway, “I’m home!”
“Hey,” You said, your voice cracking slightly as you greeted Steve as he paused to lean over the couch and kiss the top of your head.
“Are you okay?” Concern tinged his voice, his eyebrows furrowed on that pretty face of his as he studied your current state. Your mouth opened and closed, trying to find a way to say it without sounding pathetic but you couldn’t. Shoulders slumped, you leaned back into the cushions with a long sigh. “Oh, honey. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I haven’t slept right in days.” You looked up at him with a pitiful look. “I haven’t slept right in days and I’m exhausted and I spent the entire day cleaning and the only thing I have left to do is this damn laundry, but I’m so tired, and -”
“Whoa, whoa,” Steve sat next to you to bring you into a firm hug, rubbing your back soothingly. If there was one thing you knew for sure, it was that your lover gave the best hugs. He made you feel like the only person in the entire world. “Let me help, okay?”
“What? No,” You grumbled stubbornly. “You just got back from a mission, Steve, you need to sit and relax.”
“It was just reconnaissance.” Steve assured you. “I sat in a car with Bucky for a few days and then sat in debriefings for a few more - the last thing I need is to be sitting around on my ass.”
“Language,” You teased gently, chuckling when he gave you a glare that held no real heat.
“Go on, get your book. Relax for a little bit and let me take care of things.” Steve’s voice had an air of finality about it. You knew that he took a special kind of pride in taking care of those he loved, so you listened.
There was no denying the relief that washed over you. The warmth of his presence next to you as he methodically began folding clothes and recounting some of the antics he had to deal with thanks to Sam and Bucky’s constant bickering helped some of the tension ease from your exhausted body. Not to mention just how good he looked - so good that you could barely focus on the novel in your lap. Sure, seeing him in his uniform was its own special kind of sexy, but there was something about those soft long-sleeves and comfortable jeans that felt… domestic. The sight of him with his sleeves rolled up as he took care of your mixed laundry made something stir in your belly.
“What else needs to get done?” He asked after he took the basket upstairs and put it all away.
“Just tidying up the kitchen,” You tossed the book onto the coffee table and reached up to him with grabby hands that you knew he couldn’t resist. “Plus giving me kisses.”
Steve leaned down with a little grin, balancing himself on one knee against the couch cushions, and kissed you deeply. The little moan he gave against your lips when you eagerly accepted the teasing of his tongue made you shiver.
“You taste sweet.” He whispered as he crowded you closer into the couch, both hands cupping your face in a firm but gentle grip.
“Had strawberries before you came home.” You held him close by the collar of his shirt, probably stretching it out but you couldn’t really give a damn when he felt so good against you. “Forget cleaning, it can wait.”
“Yeah?” Steve teased, his face mere inches from yours as he gave you those hooded, hungry eyes that made your stomach flip. “Whatcha wanna do instead?”
“You.”
The cheekiness of your reply made him snatch you up, putting that super soldier strength to good use with a desperate grip on the soft flesh of your thighs. It was far from the first time he showed off his strength like that, but each time made your stomach flip in excitement just thinking about all of the things he could do to you. You hooked your ankles around his waist, your arms keeping you steady where they wrapped around his shoulders as he marched you upstairs and into your bedroom to drop you onto the mattress. Your thighs rubbed together at the sight of him standing over you, the rise and fall of his chest growing faster along with the hunger in his eyes.
“You work so hard, baby. Let me reward you.” He purred, tracing your ankle where the hem of your leggings ended, and his face lit up at your desperate nodding. You whined at the familiar need tightening in your belly over the strength behind his hands as he pushed your thighs open wide, his fingertips ghosting along your covered pussy. “Such a good girl for me…”
“Steve, please…” You whimpered, desperately pulling off your leggings. This little game of his, the teasing and soft touches ramping up into hot needy fucking, was something you had no issue playing any other time, but right now you couldn’t handle the wait. Steve caught on quickly and helped pull the clothes away from your legs before he ripped his shirt over his head.
“So needy for me, huh?” Steve slowly unzipped his jeans and pushed them down his legs. “Shirt off and lay your head on the pillows. I’ll take care of ya, sweetheart.”
You scrambled to follow his command, not missing the smirk your obedience garnered. The softness of his domination was addicting, left you yearning to hear the filthy praise that dripped from his lips like the sweetest ambrosia that could cure your every ache. Steve followed you up the bed, his briefs the only scrap of clothing left on his body, but before you could admire how gorgeous he looked, his hand hooked around your ankle to yank you closer. A sharp, surprised laugh melted into a moan when he finally got his mouth on you. His tongue rolled against your clit without preamble, completely abandoning the teasing to give you exactly what you were begging for.
“Oh fffuck!” You bit out, your head falling back into the pillows as your hips jolt up, and Steve chuckled darkly as he set his forearm over your hips to hold you in place, his other hand gripping your thigh hard enough to bruise. You grabbed a handful of his short hair in retaliation, a delighted smile lighting up your face at the groan you got in return.
Fuck, he felt too good, knew your body too fucking well. You grew more and more wet with each pass of his tongue against your clit, your hips rolling in time with his ministrations as the two of you found a familiar rhythm.
“There you go, baby.” Steve encouraged as he eased a finger into your dripping pussy with a downright sinful groan, quickly adding another. “So fuckin’ wet for me.”
The dual pleasure of his fingers and tongue made you see stars, made your back arch and your thighs squeeze his head until your orgasm washed over you in a devastating wave. It wasn’t until you shoved him back by his head that he finally stopped his tortuous pleasure. The sight of him wiping the wetness from his mouth with the back of his hand still had your belly tightening with need.
“You did so good.” Steve murmured, pressing a kiss to your thigh, then your navel, kissing a trail between your breasts and up your neck until he met your lips. You moaned at the filthy act of tasting yourself on his tongue. “Look so pretty when you come.”
The combination of his praise and the not-so-subtle press of his cock against your thigh had you keening beneath him, your leg hooking over his waist to drag him close enough to grind against the bulge in his briefs.
“Feel that?” He practically growled as he rutted down against you shamelessly. “That’s all for you baby. Gonna stuff your pretty pussy full’a my cum and you’re gonna say thank you for it too, you hear me?”
“I will, I promise… I promise, Stevie.” You babbled, losing any comprehensible thought other than the absolute dismay that he wasn’t absolutely wrecking you already. “Please fuck me?”
“Since you asked so sweetly,” Steve rid himself of his last scrap of clothes like they were burning him and entered you in one fluid thrust that had the both of you moaning in unison. His forehead fell to your shoulder as he let you adjust, hips swirling in tiny circles of their own accord because you felt so fucking good. “Ssso fuckin’ tight,”
The light desperation in your whimper made him smirk, his teeth sinking into your shoulder before soothing the mark with a lick of his tongue. “This is what you needed, huh baby? Just needed to relax on my cock...”
“S-Steve…” Was all you could manage, your eyes unfocused as he gave that first tentative thrust, followed quickly by a sharp, deep rhythm that made you see stars.
“Cockdrunk already?” He cooed but his cocky tone broke as you clung to him, your fingers digging into the muscle of his biceps as you used those thighs he adored against him, dragging him closer, deeper. “Fuckin’ needy little thing, aren’tcha? That’s okay, sweet baby, I got whatcha need.”
Steve pulled away and for a moment you clutched tighter, trying to keep him against you, but he pushed your legs back to your chest with a strength to be reckoned with, the new position making you feel infinitely more full and he growled at the feeling of you tightening around him. There were already fingertip bruises forming on your thighs where he held you right where he wanted you as his thrusts became faster, more desperate with his impending release, with the damn near feral need to see his cum leaking from your fucked out pussy.
It was the pressure of his thumb against your clit that forced you to find your words, your sweet cries of ‘please, please, please’ egging him on to roll his thumb until your hips jerked under the stimulation. You were so sensitive, so responsive to every little touch, it drove him fucking crazy.
“Come on my cock like a good girl,” Steve gritted out, angling his hips to grind his cock against that sweet spot that made you arch against him so prettily. “Thaaaat’s it…”
You broke underneath him, your second orgasm ripping through you in an intense burst that stole the breath from your lungs, leaving you to gasp as you shuddered. It was his favorite sight, watching you fall apart beneath him, and Steve let your leg settle around his waist once more to chase the high he balanced upon in faltered thrusts until he couldn’t hold back any longer. His pelvis pressed flush against your sweat-slick skin, some basic instinct demanding he shove himself as deep into your sensitive pussy as he could to fill you up.
He let himself melt against you, his full weight keeping you pressed against the mattress as he softened inside you, the both of you trying to catch your breath in the aftermath. You carded your fingers through his hair lazily, eyes closed as you let the satisfied exhaustion soak into you, grinning when your still fluttering walls made Steve hiss slightly. He still kept himself buried inside of you - so typical of him.
Sighing happily, Steve nuzzled his face further into your neck to trail sloppy kisses along your neck, pausing every now and then to lean back into your hand. Playing with his hair was the number one way to get him all warm and snuggly, especially if he was exhausted from giving you a thorough fucking. He gingerly eased himself off of you only to pull you close so you could lay your head on his chest, the rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you even closer to sleep.
“Go to sleep, honey.” Steve rumbled, his voice full of his own exhaustion. “I’ll be right here when you wake.”
285 notes · View notes
nillabeam · 4 years
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strange magic
synopsis: sex pollen quirk? sounds fake. until you realize it isn’t. it’s totally real. not only is it totally real but it’s effecting you AND your fellow pro hero, Ground Zero. 
pairings: bakugoxf!reader
warnings: it’s smut so 18+, language but that’s a given, slight violence and a brief blood mention, characters are also aged up
a/n: based on this request!! it’s a lot different than libido in terms of like, content lmao, but the situation is similar sort of?? idk hopefully it’s not completely terrible bc i felt like i was a bit rusty writing this?? also excuse my overall writing ability and bad grammar <333 also there’s like a little tiny bit of fluff at the end!!! 
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“Give up already!” 
Ground Zero barks, threatening sparks emitting from his palms. He was standing a few feet away from a woman, hysterical and clearly enraged by something he honestly didn’t care enough about to remember. Something about a cheating husband, maybe? Whatever, one thing he did know was that this lady just stabbed a guy in the middle of a popular park and if he didn’t hurry the poor cheating bastard would be dead soon. 
The woman pressed her heel into the victims chest, he yelped pathetically in response. “I said get away from me! This son of a bitch is going to get everything he deserves!” 
“Not happenin’ lady. Bastard or not you can’t just fucking stab people because you feel like it!” Ground Zero snaps back, he shifts his weight forward. 
“He has to pay! I’ll make him pay!” She screams, turning the knife in her hand, her heel digging further into the victims chest, it was becoming increasingly apparent that Ground Zero had to make his move soon. 
“Shut up and listen! Drop the knife or you’re gonna end up worse than that asshole!” He threatens, muscles tensing, ready to explode forward and overwhelm the woman if she didn’t comply. 
“I’ll slit his goddamn throat don't you da-” She’s interrupted by your hand gripping her wrist bending it backwards in an unnatural direction. The movement makes her cry out and drop the blade. She tries to take the knife back but a swift jab of your elbow to her nose sends her reeling backward onto the floor. 
“You bitch! That really fucking hurt!” Her hands grip her face, trying to suppress the heavy flow of blood now streaming from her broken nose. 
“Shut up! You should have listened to me when you had the chance!” Ground Zero is suddenly beside you, he extends a fist and you meet it with yours, resulting in a friendly fist bump. “Nice elbow, Rookie.” He comments, impressed.
“Nice diversion.” You reply, leaning down to restrain the woman. “The police will be here soon so we should help-” You’re interrupted by a strange purple mist clouding your vision. 
“What the hell is this shit?” Ground Zero asks, fanning his hand in front of his face, trying to push away the mist. “Her quirk?” You suggest, landing a quick precise blow to the woman’s neck, incapacitating her. The mist dissipates, having only reached you and the other hero. 
“Hope it’s not some kind of defensive response. Like poison or something.” You worry for a second before standing, waving the remaining fumes away. “It’ll take more than some fucking purple bullshit to kill me.” You squint your eyes at him, an amused smirk finding your lips. “That sounds like something someone who gets killed by purple bullshit would say.” You quip, amused despite the looming danger of being exposed to an unknown quirk. A devious smirk finds his lips. 
“If it kills me, it’s killing you too so I guess I’ll see you in hell, asshole.” 
----------------
“They said they’ll get back to us once they figure it out. Also they said we can go home but we have to stay put, since we feel okay, oh, and also to call if we suddenly feel like we’re dying.” You explain, clicking the comm. in your ear off. 
“Great. So we can die at home instead.” He mocks, rolling his eyes. You lift your arms above your head to stretch them, sore from a day of hero work. “I’m perfectly fine with going home early, maybe I won’t die and I can catch up on laundry.” You move past him toward the locker rooms, more than ready to change out of your hero costume. 
“Oi, Rookie!” He calls out. 
You turn to face him, still walking backwards toward your destination. 
“Good work today.” 
You can feel your cheeks heat up at the compliment. 
-----------------
Once you finally changed into your civilian clothes you walk into the lobby, distracted, hand in your purse fishing for your phone. You smack into something hard. “O-ow.” You mumble, scrunching up your face in discomfort, hand reaching up to rub your nose trying to alleviate some the pain. 
“Watch it, Rookie.” 
The voice is familiar and you realize you’ve hit a person. More specifically, Ground Zero. Or Bakugo, as you knew him when the two of you weren’t busy being heroes. “Bakugo, sorry I was-” You un-scrunch your face so you could see properly. You should have closed your eyes and ran away instead because the sight in front of you would prove to be too much for your stupid brain to handle. 
He stood before you, bag slung easily over his shoulder, the fabric of his expensive looking dress shirt clung perfectly to his impressive chest and biceps. Your eyes trail down the length of his lean body, his other hand shoved into his dress pants, perfectly ironed, and the way they showed off his thick powerful thighs nearly had you drooling. It’s becomes painfully obvious that you’re ogling him. 
You’d forgotten there was a staff meeting earlier that morning and he was dressed nicer than usual. Yet, you’d seen him before all dressed up like this, so why was the sight of him making you feel hot now? 
“My eyes are up here, pervert.” 
His gruff voice snaps you out of your trance, you snap your head up to meet his fierce stare. Your entire face now covered in a thick blush. “I-I wasn’t looking at anything-” You lie, pushing past him. He takes a second to do some looking of his own, his eyes fixed on the swell of your ass as you walk away from him. 
You stand impatiently outside the agency, fiddling with your phone, trying to push the image of Bakugo’s perfect body our of your mind. You take a quick look over your shoulder, making sure the blonde hadn’t followed you out. The sound of a honk made you turn attention to the company car that pulled up ready to take you home and save you from your own embarrassment. 
Sliding into the backseat you offer a nervous smile, “S-Sorry thank you-” You’re interrupted by the force of someone pushing you into the space of the empty seat next to you. “Move over, Rookie.” The voice makes you tense, and you lose your balance falling back awkwardly into the empty seat. Your hands moving to tug the hem of your skirt down as not to expose yourself. 
“W-What?” You sit up properly, adjusting in your seat. “Get your own car.” Your tone laced with false confidence immediately ruined by his ruby orbs peering down on you. 
“Quit whining.” He snaps, shoving you further over with his large frame. “Drive.” He instructs and to your horror the car starts moving. You push against him with both hands, shoving him back over to his side. “Keep your dumb giant body over there.” He lets out an amused ‘tch’ and leans back in his seat. A stretch of awkward silence fills the air and it takes a second for you to relax in your seat. 
There’s an obvious tension between you two, it’s thick and heavy and it makes Bakugo’s chest tighten. He decides against his better judgement, to find out if you were feeling just as fucking needy as he was. 
Bakugo keeps his attention fixed on the window, but experimentally spreads his legs, his knee hitting yours. You take the bait like a fool. Shifting away from him, your mouth opens to lecture him about personal space but your jaw snaps as your eyes fix on the prominent bulge in his slacks. It finally dawns on you that he’s not even hard, he’s just that big. 
“Shit-” You mutter out loud. Panic covers your features at your sudden lack of filter and you force yourself to look up, not surprised that Bakugo’s glaring down at you. “Keep looking at me like that, Princess, and i’ll get the wrong idea.” The pet name makes you rub your legs together in anticipation, why were you being so desperate right now? Suddenly, you felt the overwhelming urge to rip those stupid pants right off of his body and slip his cock in your mouth. 
“I’m not!” You blurt out the obvious lie, covering your flushed face before smacking your head on the window in a feeble attempt to physically knock the sinful thoughts out of your mind. You were finding it increasingly difficult to focus on anything but the man beside you, he let out a dark chuckle at your embarrassment.
You glance over again and he rolls his hips slightly, purposefully, as he notices you sneaking another peek. “Oi!” He grips your face in his hand, roughly squeezing your cheeks together, you whimper at his force and you see his eyes widen a bit at the sound.
“What did I just fucking say, Princess?” You move your hands up to pry at his wrist to loosen his grip but he won’t budge. Your eyes betray you and you look down again. You swear his pants are even tighter then before and your tongue rolls out of your mouth at the sight, practically salivating.
“Oh fuck-“ Bakugo groans unable to keep himself from shoving his fingers into your open mouth. Your mouth shuts immediately and you begin to suck harshly against his slender digits. “Shit, you’re so fucking needy.” He began rhythmically pushing his fingers deeper into your mouth, eliciting a gag as he reached the back of your throat. You were actually drooling now, all over yourself and his hand, but you continue to take his fingers greedily. They actually tasted better than you could have imagined, they had a slight sugary sweetness to them. 
Pulling his fingers from your warm mouth, he watches as excess saliva drips out, you unable to stop it due to his vice grip on your cheeks. His gaze darkens at the sight and he’s looking at you with a hungry need that makes you rub your legs together. Leaning forward enough to feel his breath fan your face, he smirks darkly, chewing his bottom lip in anticipation. 
“Such a mess for me already and I haven’t even touched you yet.” He teases, his nose brushes against yours and you lean forward, whining when he pulls back just enough that he’s just out of reach. You clutch the fabric of his dress shirt in both hands, trying to pull him closer to you. “Bet you’d like that huh, Princess?” he asks, and you can’t help but nod like an idiot. You feel his grip on your face loosen a little. 
His tongue lolls from his mouth slightly, per his instincts and he leans in, unable to control himself any longer, ready to taste that cute mouth of yours when the driver clears his throat rather loudly.  
The two of you freeze, hyperaware of your surroundings. Bakugo pulls his hands away and you nearly fall forward. 
“We’ve arrived, Miss.” 
You wipe the spit off of your face as quickly as you can, and you stare at Bakugo in horror. “I-uh-” Your brain fails you as you try to form coherent sentences. Grabbing your bag from the floor you scramble out of the car shouting a ‘thank you’ to the driver as you leave Bakugo in the car alone, with his lewd thoughts, raging hard on and a very polite driver. 
It takes him a second to snap out of his daze fully and by then he’s already a few blocks down the street. “Fuck-” He grips the passenger and driver side seats and leans forward so he can see the driver. “Stop the fucking car.” The driver looks confused, “S-Sir?” Bakugo is looking over his shoulder through the backseat window and the tightening in his chest worsens as he continues to get further and further away from your apartment. 
“I said stop the fucking car.” He snaps again and the driver begins to slow the vehicle down to stop. But Bakugo being the impatient little shit that he is exits the car before it can even stop properly leaving the driver thoroughly annoyed and maybe a little bit flustered. 
He starts a normal pace once he’s out of the car but it’s not long before he breaks out into a full sprint toward your place. 
You’re clutching your chest, trying to calm yourself, but the urge to slip your hands between your legs to relive some tension overwhelming you. Every time you try to think of something besides the goddamn porno scene in the car your brain throws it right back at you. 
Just as you hike up the front of your skirt ready to finish the job yourself when violent banging on your door makes you scream pathetically in surprise. You throw it open immediately. It’s Bakugo. Thank heavens it’s Bakugo. His face flushed, thin layer of sweat glistening in the afternoon light. 
“You too?” He asks breathlessly. 
“Yeah.” You respond, equally dazed. 
“Fuck.” You say simultaneously.
You blink and his large hands are gripping your biceps to pull you toward himself and his lips crash hungrily against yours. He walks you both forward enough to shut the door behind him with his foot. His hands move to your waist and he spins you both around shoving you back against the door, his palms pressing against it, arms caging you in. 
“What are you doing to me?” He asks, there’s a mixture of jest and seriousness in his voice. He tugs his dress skirt collar open exposing more of his neck and chest in an attempt to cool himself down. 
Now he’s done it. You can’t help yourself any longer, and you lick a hot stripe up his neck, before doubling back to pepper desperate kisses against it. A low throaty groan escapes him and your fingers fumble as you begin to unbutton his dress shirt completely. He watches as you undress him, his tongue darting from between his lips wetting them before he leans down to capture you in another needy kiss.  Shrugging the shirt off of his body, he begins to unbuckle his belt. 
You pull back for air, eyes wandering to his clothed member, eager for to see him, to taste him. He can see it too, the want, the need in your eyes. It matches the look in his own, vermillion and glassy. Your self control wavers again and you drop to your knees pulling his slacks down with a few good tugs, they were as tight as they looked. 
Finally, his cock is free and of course it’s bigger than you thought, you take a moment to admire it before slipping it into your mouth. He hisses at the sudden warmth, both hands tangling into your hair, the dull pain against your scalp elicits a moan and you feel him shudder as he tries to compose himself. 
“Couldn’t wait to suck my-” His breath hitches, an unintentional whimper falling from his lips as you move to take the entirety of him, cheeks hollowing as you greedily suck his cock. His hips rut involuntarily and you gag around him, the feeling of your throat around his aching cock almost send him over the edge. 
Your movements are desperate and sloppy, moaning and mewling against him like his cock is the best thing you've ever tasted. You make eye contact and notice he’s having a hard time keeping his cool. His face flushed a dark pink, panting, low groans falling easily from him lips. 
You’re honestly quite pleased with yourself. 
With a sharp tug he pulls you off of his dick, excess saliva drips from your mouth and you look up at him confused. He presses the pad of his thumb against your tongue and you open your mouth wider for him. 
“You’re being such a greedy little slut.” He comments, a smirk finding his lips, his hands move to grip the front of your dress shirt and he pulls you up off of your knees, tearing the shirt in the process. The second you’re standing he pulls you into another kiss, hot and blistering. His hands searing against the plush skin of your chest, he lingers at the lacy cups of your bra before activating his quirk just enough to burn the fabric away.  The sound startles you a bit but the feeling of his hands expertly kneading at your breasts makes it hard to concentrate on anything else. 
He pulls one hand away replacing it with his lips, when he pulls away to give your other side the same attention his teeth lightly drag against the tender bud forcing a moan to spill from your lips. Your fingers dip down under your skirt to give your mess of a pussy some much needed attention. Your frustration is only made worse when Bakugo catches your wrist in his hand. 
“Did I say you could touch yourself, slut?” He growls, you look up at him, still trying to pry your hand out of his grip. “Then you touch me.” You command weakly, voice dripping with want. 
He can wait, he can. He’s trying to act like he’s completely in control. Like he isn’t burning up with desire, like he can hold out a little longer. 
He can’t. 
“F-Fuck.” He spins you around, pinning you against the door, thankfully you were able to put your hands up to keep from slamming your face into it. He pushes your skirt up and it bunches at your waist, you hear a loud ‘rip’ and he’s tossing what’s left of your panties on the floor. He teases the head of his cock along your dripping slit, you wiggle your ass impatiently. 
He finds purchase on your hips before sliding into your soaking core. “S-So fucking tight, shit..” He mumbles to himself. You cover your mouth stifling a groan as you feel his cock stretch you out. His fingers dig into your hips harder and you’re certain they’ll bruise. He gives a shallow thrust, and you bite your lip to suppress another moan. His hands move to grip your arms where they bend, pulling them back toward him.  
“I want to hear those dirty little moans, Princess.” You can't see his face but you can hear him smirking. You don’t have time to object as he begins thrusting into you, his pace brutal, your legs nearly buckle beneath you. But he’s strong enough to keep you steady. It doesn’t take very long for your orgasm to sneak up on you, each drag of his cock only worsens the feeling of impending pleasure building inside you. “I’m so close..” You whimper breathless, and he adjusts his grip. Both of your wrists are in his hand now, still trapped behind your back, his free hand moving to rub messy circles into your puffy clit pushing you closer and closer to your release. 
“Cum for me, cum all over my cock like a good little slut.” 
His skillful and calculated thrusts, mixed with his fingers teasing your clit and his permission to cum overwhelm you. “F-Fuck, Bakugo!” Your orgasm washes over you more violently than you were expecting, you’re a mess, whining and moaning incoherent praises. The feeling of you constricting so perfectly around his cock has Bakugo not far behind you, he releases your arm, and it hurts to move them, but you press your palms flat against the door as he adjusts himself his grip returning to your hips, his thrusts become more sloppy and erratic as he’s coming undone. 
“S-shit, Princess, I- haah- I’m close.” He nearly whines, you begin to push back against him, doing what you can to match his movements. “Cum inside, Bakugo.” You command, your voice is smooth and breathy. 
“Fuck-” You groan in unison as he fills you with hot ropes of cum, he falls forward a little, one hand on your hip the other against the door to steady himself as he rides out his high, his hips still gingerly thrusting into you. When he’s finished and you’re satisfied and full, he slowly pulls out, hissing at the overstimulation. 
You both take a moment, still processing what happened. Bakugo lets out an amused huff of air and your glance over your shoulder. 
Well this was new. 
Sure, Bakugo knew his recovery time was amazing but never instantaneous. You glance down nervously at his still fully hardened cock, eyes widening at the sight. You dare to meet his gaze, hazy and piercing. 
Without warning, Bakugo slides two fingers into your still dripping cunt, you whimper, pressing against the door with more force. He chuckles darkly and it matches his devilish smirk. You were suddenly hit with the realization that your night was far from over. 
“I’m going to fucking ruin you, Princess.” 
 BONUS: 
The two of you lie in bed, exhausted and completely fucked out. You’re nearly asleep, resting comfortably on Bakugo’s firm chest as he rubs slow, soothing circles against your soft skin.  
It’s interrupted by your phone, the loud ring tone makes you both cringe. He reaches to answer it, you open your mouth to object partly since it’s your phone and partly because the loss of contact but honestly you’re too tired to truly argue about it.
“Y/N’s phone.” He answers, voice slightly hoarse. 
“Oh yeah?” He glances at you with a smug smirk. 
“I think we’ve figured that part out-” You put two and two together and realize it's probably someone from the agency informing you on the unknown quirk you were both hit with earlier. 
“Yeah, thanks for nothing.” He says his tone slightly irritated. 
“One more thing, have whatever paperwork I need to document a workplace relationship on my desk in the morning.” He instructs and hangs up the phone. Your eyes widen a little and he thinks it’s cute how hopeful you look. 
You chew your lip a little, “Is that paperwork for us?” You ask weakly, and he rolls over so he’s on top of you, arms caging you in. 
“Of course it is, stupid.” 
Your nervousness disappears the moment his lips meet yours. 
3K notes · View notes
reluctanx · 3 years
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𝘽𝙉𝙃𝘼 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉 >> CLASS 1-B. || Fem!s/o
𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝘿𝙀𝘿: neito monoma, itsuka kendo, sen kaibara, ibara shiozaki, tetsutetsu tetsutetsu, reiko yanagi, setsuna tokage
𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 (𝙎) : n/a [?]
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-Neito Monoma
!! 🧺 | he’s actually very sweet, just a bit playful with you
!! 🧺 | he cracks joke just to make you laugh because your smile means EVERYTHING to him
!! 🧺 | i’m pretty sure he’s a nerd at color theory and would ALWAYS point out how beautiful your eyes are. even if it has a darker shade, he just knows that it’s a beautiful color that he loves so much
!! 🧺 | he doesn’t let other people touch his bunnies besides kendo, you may also be the exception
!! 🧺 | overly dramatic because he knows you can’t possibly, truly handle his bullshit
!! 🧺 | his teenager crush on you is so adorable, because he’s always in denial. or refuses to admit he have a crush on you
!! 🧺 | seeing that you’re not comparing him to a villain because of his quirk, wether it’s a joke or not. you automatically gain a part of his trust and respect. deadass
!! 🧺 | he bullies people for a reason, and you better deal with that
!! 🧺 | very argumentative, trying to fight with him with controversial topics is useless
!! 🧺 | LET. HIM. TOUCH. YO. HAIR………. pls
!! 🧺 | even if he tries, he can’t keep up late at night. HE WILL fall asleep, so sometimes you’ll be left on read accidentally-
!! 🧺 | when texting… he’s a total different person omg
!! 🧺 | no because if your seat is next to his, he will pass you the answers for the math exam.. (don’t lie, i know you’re a total dogshit at this subject. )
!! 🧺 | he’s a real big fan of Vlad king so you better be prepared seeing some of his merch in his closet
!! 🧺 | seeing you in his clothes makes him feel weird. he’ll try to make fun of you but he’s just really flustered to look at cha’ i swear
!! 🧺 | it’s rare to see him swear, so when he do so.. dear god..
!! 🧺 | HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR BODY SHAPE, SIZE OR WHATEVER, HE LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE AND HE WILL REMIND YOU THAT
!! 🧺 | “you love me o’ sooo much it makes you look stupid.”
!! 🧺 | “don’t tell kendo about this, but i like you. for real.”
!! 🧺 | pronouns first with this man, pronouns = priority, pronouns respected. period.
!! 🧺 | he would be such a simp for you..
!! 🧺 | not obsessive or possesive, per se just jealous in a healthy way
!! 🧺 | “i’m literally a low quality version of bakugo.”
!! 🧺 | THEATRICAL, AS FUCK.
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-Itsuka Kendo
!! 🧸 | SHE’S LITERALLY A SWEET HEART *SOBS SOBS*
!! 🧸 | she acts like your big sister sometimes.
!! 🧸 | she’s so shy and intimidated when she gets to date you bro..
!! 🧸 | your hero name? your hero costume? gives no shit, she find everything about you AMAZING.
!! 🧸 | you’re the little spoon, don’t prove me wrong, you’re the little spoon
!! 🧸 | she finds you so cute (especially if you have chubby cheeks, cause like uuuUhhh…)
!! 🧸 | she dresses you up when ya’ll get a girl days
!! 🧸 | she doesn’t know how to cook, depending on your cooking skills; either you get to cook or ya’ll order sum shit idk
!! 🧸 | she have a whole romantic cottagecore playlist dedicated for you whenever she thinks about you i swear.
!! 🧸 | you participates in her activity of : “knocking-down-neito-whenever-hes-been-an-ass”
!! 🧸 | can’t even afford to scold you the first time ya’ll meet, you’re so beautiful *sob sob*
!! 🧸 | if you’re in a social group space, you’re her favourite person, ya’ll are the duo of the friend group
!! 🧸 | “can’t sleep? that’s okay me too.”
!! 🧸 | picky, very picky eater. ya’ll may have trouble ordering something.
!! 🧸 | you’re the ticklish person, she’s the tickler. if you’re not, she’ll helplessly try to tickle you..-
!! 🧸 | “SPIDER, SPIDER!!”
!! 🧸 | your luck booster, i stg
!! 🧸 | she likes seeing you with fake cat ears, you look so adorable in her perspective
!! 🧸 | “LET’S WATCH A DISNEY MOVIE!!”
!! 🧸 | fast typer when texting.
!! 🧸 | you’re her angel, you are.
!! 🧸 | wants to be a make-up artist somedays.. so you better be ready and prepare to be a mannequin.
!! 🧸 | “you’re so weird *faces you* you’re so weird.”
!! 🧸 | 256 HOURS LONG OF TALK AND CHATS WHEN SHE ENCOUNTERS A LONG TIME FRIEND AT THE MALL
!! 🧸 | she wants to be a princess, your princess
!! 🧸 | SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER HAIR AND SHE WILL FLUSH
!! 🧸 | “why are you so pretty 🥺’
!! 🧸 | cottagecore lesbians :)
!! 🧸 | holding your hands + kisses + pecks on the lips, physical affection <<<<<<<<
!! 🧸 | gives you her stuffies, trust me she have LOADS of stuffies
!! 🧸 | BLUSHES SO HARD WHEN YOU WEAR HER CLOTHES
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Sen Kaibara
!! 📢 | you don’t understand, the amount of love he holds for you is HUGE!
!! 📢 | fairly confident when he’s fighting by your side, you give him confidence..
!! 📢 | bad habits to compare your beauty with his
!! 📢 | trying to make him blush? oh honey, you don’t have to try once you have a relationship with him..
!! 📢 | his smile <<<<<<<<<<<<<
!! 📢 | usually quiet but tends to be talkative ONLY to you
!! 📢 | his heart beats faster and faster when you get close to him, but his face says 😐
!! 📢 | “kiss me already, dummy”
!! 📢 | really likes anime actually, ya’ll watch animes or read mangas sometimes :)
!! 📢 | *strokes strokes, scrubs scrubs your hair gently*
!! 📢 | thinks you look so cute in his clothes but doesn’t mention it
!! 📢 | secretly tries to get one of the things you crave for (an item, celebrity’s autograph idk sum shit)
!! 📢 | mockery against you? not on his watch.
!! 📢 | his love language is physical touch *sobs sobs*
!! 📢 | rubs your hand gently to calm you down when you feel anxious
!! 📢 | old times french love songs of edith piaf is his jam..
!! 📢 | hopeless romantic :c
!! 📢 | insecure? not on his watch,
!! 📢 | gives you his juice box to you and only to you
!! 📢 | you’re his first kiss
!! 📢 | BEST HUG GIVER
!! 📢 | the type to put your hair behind your ears
!! 📢 | “you’re my everything..”
!! 📢 | KISSES YOUR CHEEKS INTENSIVELY
!! 📢 | loves to feel euphoric, you make him euphoric
!! 📢 | you get the blower during summer lmao
!! 📢 | buys you loads of icecreams during summer
!! 📢 | go to the heater side during winter, right now, right here.
!! 📢 | everything you ask somethinh, he’ll answer instantly
!! 📢 | want something? dont worry, sen gotchu’
!! 📢 | SIMP
!! 📢 | wants to be someone truly meaningful to you
!! 📢 | you make him feel special for doing literally nothing
!! 📢 | he loves you, so so much.
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Ibara Shiozaki
!! 🌱| literally the momo yaoyorazu of class 1-b but more theatrical
!! 🌱| you kinda just already knew that she have a preference for girls
!! 🌱| “mo- mother nature? what kind of silly things are you spouting out of that mouth of yours…”
!! 🌱| you are literally babied by her
!! 🌱| good baker and easily make your favorite dish/dessert
!! 🌱| you’re her top priority, and she carefully pays attention to you. deadass, she’s the type to wipe your mouth with her favorite tissue while she’s talking about a serious matter with her teamates bro
!! 🌱| she’s such a nerd in the rom-com industry, and gets pretty shy when you proceed to do something that is similar to a scene about one of her few rom-com movies. (ex: kadebon)
!! 🌱| she laughs so easily..
!! 🌱| “you’re so precious.”
!! 🌱| she showed all the symptoms of “crushing” back then, and you already knew that.
!! 🌱| everytime you hype her up, she smiles widely
!! 🌱| she’s so gift giving, she can’t leave you without giving you a gift first
!! 🌱| all the gifts you gave her stays safe and sound in her room
!! 🌱| “i might never be your hero, but i’ll be the winner of your heart.”
!! 🌱| she wants you to wear her clothes so ya’ll can match :)
!! 🌱| she’s quite wealthy, so she buys you some expensive gifts that reminds her of you
!! 🌱| always wrap her arms around you everywhere
!! 🌱| teases you but a lot
!! 🌱| she likes to do gardening stuff with you
!! 🌱| full knowledge on plants, every flowers she offers you was because of a characteristic that reminds her of you
!! 🌱| her efforts to be committed in your relationship is so visible
!! 🌱| always slips a little ‘I love you” everydays
!! 🌱| your love, affection and attention is enough to repay her for her consistent efforts.
!! 🌱| gets easily jealous but tries to hide it, but you obviously can tell due to her uncontrollable blush
!! 🌱| as she is so gift giving, you’ll try to argue with her saying she doesn’t need to give her this much gifts
!! 🌱| she gets overwhelmed when you make out of an exam/mission
!! 🌱| loves to give you a head massage while reading a book
!! 🌱| come and stargaze with her >:|
!! 🌱| kisses the back of your hand
!! 🌱| show you off when she have the chance to
!! 🌱| compared to what you may have assumed, she puts a lot of trust in her words when showin’ you off.
!! 🌱| “everyday and everynight, you make me happy just by thinking of your silly little face.”
!! 🌱| HELPS YOU WITH HOMEWORK
!! 🌱| SLEEPOVERS!!
!! 🌱| she felt insecure about her hair, so the fact that you had he audacity to pet her head made her fall inlove with you.
!! 🌱| gets genuinely confused when you laugh at her dramatic behavior
!! 🌱| her humor is kinda bad, so she may laugh at the stupidest thing ever
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Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
!! 🦈| oh boy, everything would be so wild with him
!! 🦈| you cannot leave the room without giving him a hug first
!! 🦈| awkward, like really
!! 🦈| “you’re the most coolest— beautifulest—…uuh.. person!”
!! 🦈| doesn’t academically succeed a lot, but puts a lot of efforts in his works. every praises you give him makes him smile
!! 🦈| makes you laugh without him knowing
!! 🦈| please, he probably starts to laugh when you start talking too fast because he doesn’t understand-
!! 🦈| in summer, he turns his arms into steel so you can grip against it (since steel is usually cold)
!! 🦈| probably have adhd
!! 🦈| loves to caress your cheeks
!! 🦈| sometimes kisses your little fingers for fun
!! 🦈| buddies to lover trope :D
!! 🦈| uses kaomoji than emojis
!! 🦈| his favorite song is teenage dirtbag
!! 🦈| he requires a good listener as his s/o, because he is a very talkative person and bring numerous topics and persons at the same time when talking to him
!! 🦈| “you’re extra-beautiful..”
!! 🦈| offers a fish related plushie
!! 🦈| shows off his abs for you
!! 🦈| two dumb hoes doing shit trope
!! 🦈| “you kinda remind me of an otter..?
!! 🦈| “wanna be a teenage dirtbag with me?”
!! 🦈| he calls you the popular girl of the school for a reason.. 😭
!! 🦈| calls you tetsutetsu junior when you wear his clothes
!! 🦈| openly admit that ya’ll are in a relationship to everyone
!! 🦈| is actually ticklish himself-
!! 🦈| loves to kiss your forehead
!! 🦈| loves to point out how cute you are
!! 🦈| definitely introduces you to fatgum and kirishima
!! 🦈| he can’t really came up with a petname.. so he’ll give you stupid ones
!! 🦈| as you can tell, he’s clearly not experienced but he tries, for you :)
!! 🦈| okay but power couple
!! 🦈| “if you steal the blankets, i am about to put my cold feets on you.”
!! 🦈| gets out of hands when he’s too excited
!! 🦈| gives you back hugs when you’re not feeling well
!! 🦈| best caregiver 🥺
!! 🦈| adores you
!! 🦈| play games with you :)
!! 🦈| sends you stupid note under the door whenever you’re taking a shit-
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Reiko Yanagi
!! 👻|| you managed to get on her soft side when you told her that she wasn’t weird in any ways
!! 👻|| very quiet and patient with you
!! 👻|| really doesn’t wish to disturb or scare you, but she can’t let go of you — you were so nice
!! 👻|| when you tease her.. she’s a blushing mess
!! 👻|| you’re the only person she hangs most of her time with
!! 👻||she thinks that you’re so, so cool.
!! 👻|| doesn’t know how to react to all of your compliments, just knows how to cuddle
!! 👻|| she makes you listen to her favorite genre of music
!! 👻|| she tries her best to make your relationship with her dynamic as possible!
!! 👻|| with that say, praising is one of her top quality
!! 👻|| as much as she doesn’t know how to handle your praise, she can slap you back with her
!! 👻||”hey.. how abour we kiss? uh- um.. if- if you want to.”
!! 👻|| is actually a good kisser-
!! 👻|| her only way to calm you down was to kiss you when you get overwhelmed
!! 👻|| reiko is a really good listener and would literally listen to your 5 hours long story as she stare at you the whole time
!! 👻|| when you mention that her bags were really cool… good job bro, now she loves you
!! 👻|| SHE’S SO CLINGY, LIKE REALLY CLINGY
!! 👻|| unexpectedly good in video games
!! 👻|| “w-whoa.. i didn’t expected you to wear my clothes..you look adorable..”
!! 👻|| gets truly passionate when talking about paranormal facts
!! 👻|| she loves to play with the strands of your hair
!! 👻|| quality time <<<<<<<<
!! 👻|| would always remind you how beautiful you are
!! 👻|| once you have her sweater wrapped around your body, it’s officially yours now because she says so
!! 👻|| soft spokesperson with you bro..
!! 👻|| seems more confident when texting
!! 👻|| she loves taking pictures of you
!! 👻|| she probably wanted to make you visit the beach during the sunset
!! 👻|| she’s so proud of you..
!! 👻|| “oh, you deserve all of the praises of the world.”
!! 👻|| can’t even look at you in the eyes,, you’re so CUTE!!
!! 👻|| never leave you alone, never will or would
!! 👻|| always grips on your shirt so that you don’t get to be lost in a mission
!! 👻|| regularly checks up on you
!! 👻|| gives you LOADS of snacks during lunch
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Setsuna Tokage
!! 🐊| COMMITTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP
!! 🐊| literally takes you out everywhere on ya’ll date
!! 🐊| don’t be shy, skateboard with her
!! 🐊| literally asks to be partnered up with you during the sport festivals
!! 🐊| will do everything for you
!! 🐊| have a reptile pet, you’re the only person knowing about that
!! 🐊| CHERISH YOU UNTIL SHE DIES
!! 🐊| “my sweet sweet pumpkin pie!”
!! 🐊| “let me kiss you until you can’t handle me anymore, darling.”
!! 🐊| she loves snuggling to your neck and leave soft kisses
!! 🐊| eyes contact is important
!! 🐊| you’re her favourite person
!! 🐊| ya’ll be ruining your sleep schedule for each other
!! 🐊| you guys always wear something that matches with the other (a hat, item, shirt.. etc.)
!! 🐊| setsuna announces her relationship with you to the class as if she proposed to you in a mariage
aight ya’ll, bye!
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121 notes · View notes
koshicoast · 3 years
Text
A few shinkami headcannons because I love them more than anything
Shinsou has a growth spurt and practically towers over Denki by their second year (for all intents and purposes, Shinsou has always been in class 1A)
Denki grows a little bit but not that much, he’s not complaining though, he gets Shinsou to grab stuff on the top shelve for him or has him hang up posters in higher places in his room (the only downside is that he has to get on his tippy toes for kisses but usually Shinsou will just bend down like a good boyfriend)
They go on dates every Sunday, It’s their day and it doesn’t matter what they’re doing as long as it’s just the two of them
They could be studying or doing homework or exercising or anything really and they’ll call it a date
The rest of the class knows better than to try and contact either boy on Sunday
“Normies worship Jesus on Sunday but I worship Shinsou” - Denki, at one point in time
Shinsou loves playing with denki’s hair, he buys different kinds of hair clips just to put them in denki’s hair
he just likes how the colors pop out
He especially likes to see purple hair clips in denki’s hair
Tbh it doesn’t have to be hair clips, it could be a scrunchie or a rubber band or a headband; as long as it’s purple it does wonders to shinsou’s heart
Denki likes playing with shinsou’s hair too but more than that he likes seeing Shinsou in yellow clothing
Shinsou doesn’t wear bright colors a lot usually sticking with black or cool tone colors
But when he does wear yellow, Denki just gets all mushy no matter how small it is
It could be yellow earrings or socks or something and Denki will wear a love sick expression all day
Despite being in the hero course, Shinsou still gets incredibly insecure about his quirk and how some people only see him as a villain
Denki, without fail or hesitation, tells Shinsou what a great hero he’s gonna be, he talks about how Shinsou is gonna inspire a new wave of underground heroes and how he’s gonna be some kid’s Aizawa one day and how proud he is of him (The first time he said that, it makes Shinsou sob. It makes denki cry too bc he’s a sympathetic crier so they just lay in bed holding eachother)
He also tells Shinsou how no matter who’s the number one hero, Shinsou will always have first place in his heart. And that Shinsou is just as much as any other hero out there and even a little more because he’ll be underground
Denki just loves his boyfriend so much and whoever planted the idea that some quirks are just made for evil is going to get electrocuted >:(
Denki will also pepper Shinsou in kisses saying things like ‘you are so kind’ ‘you’re an amazing person’ ‘I love you so much’ ‘You’re my hero’ and just a bunch of stuff so by the end of their heart to heart Shinsou is feeling a lot better
Denki gets insecure about how ‘dumb’ he is and how he’ll probably just end up hurting civilians or himself before he hurts a villain
Shinsou hates how that’s how Denki views himself because Denki is one of the kindest people in the world and doesn’t even realize it like the first time Denki told him that insecurity, Shinsou looked at him and was like ‘are you..you’re serious? Denks, You’re one of the most clever people I know’
Whenever Denki mentions it, Shinsou he just squeezes the blonde and lets him cry out his frustrations before telling him that ‘he’s not an idiot or stupid and that it’s okay not to understand something as fast as others and that it’s okay to learn differently and it’s okay’ (Shinsou will always try not to cry but a few tears fall anyways bc he just wants denks to be happy without feeling like he’s a fuckup)
Shinsou never lets Denki call himself an idiot or stupid, even in a joking way.
They don’t fight a lot because of their personalities like
Denki is a people’s person and is really in tune with other’s emotions and by default is a pacifist unless otherwise
Shinsou isn’t a people’s person but he’s observant due to his quirk bc of how he’s been treated in the past, he’s also good at picking up on people’s body language
Most times it’s just small disagreements and even then they communicate the best they can and try to compromise
If that doesn’t work then they’ll give each other space so the disagreement won’t turn into something ugly
They’ve only fought once and it was the worst (and best) thing for them
The fight happened after a mock rescue mission goes wrong and there were weeks of stress and tension leading up to it
It was messy and bad like really bad
“I just don’t get why you have to run into danger!” Denki screamed. The whole dorm could probably hear them but he didn’t care, not when his boyfriend was looking at him like he just lost his mind.
It was supposed to be a simple training exercise. Simple. Go in, defeat villains, rescue the ‘hostages’. It was not that simple.
*insert how badly the mission went and Shinsou ran towards the danger to help or smth idk*
It gets pretty rough between the two of them because they’re both pretty emotional people
Shinsou thinks denki doesn’t want him to be a hero and denki thinks Shinsou doesn’t want to be with him
It’s a lot of insecurities + stress + yelling
Denki is the first one to break, he’s a lot more emotionally sensitive than Toshi and everything is just crashing down and he hates it
“Do you just not want to be with me?!” He cries, unable to keep the tears at bay any more. He hates arguing with people, especially when that person happens to be his boyfriend. He gets it, he does! Toshi is training to become a hero and so is he but that doesn’t make it easier. Doesnt stop the shot of fear whenever he watches the other get hurt, doesn’t stop the late night self deprecation, doesn’t stop the anxiety he gets whenever he sees Toshi run head first into danger.
But he gets it and somehow it’s a bitter realization.
Because Hitoshi’s priority is the job they signed up for and Denki’s is Hitoshi.
The fight ends with tears on both their parts and they call it a night, too tired to scream anymore
They sleep in their own rooms that night
The next morning they agree to take a break, not a full break up, but some time away. Space away from each other to prioritize and think.
(Now ive seen fanfics where everyone picks denki over Shinsou and i hate that so fuck you, class 1A are both their friends and they’re all family and try and to help each other I will die with that statement)
Surprisingly the two most helpful people are Bakugou and Kirishima
(Actually not that surprising, they’re the longest couple in the whole class, dating immediately after Kamino)
Bakugou and denki have a heart to heart
“You’re both dumbasses” Katsuki sighs heavy, passing another tissue over to the sobbing blonde. He’s not good at these kinds of things, but Kirishima told him he could help the electric blonde more than he could so here he is. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong or just cry?” He asks, not without a hint of worry though. He pretends to ignore it.
So denki tells him everything and his insecurities
Oh. Yeah, Kirishima was right.
“You think I’m an idiot” Denki mutters quietly, harshly rubbing his eyes.
“No” The older blonde shakes his head, plopping down on the bed next to the other. He doesn’t turn to meet yellow eyes, his own trained on the All Might poster hanging directly across from them. He feels Pikachu’s curious gaze on him so he decides to elaborate more, knowing the sooner he helps the sooner he doesn’t have to deal with this anymore. It’s totally not because he’s gotten soft. Absolutely not.
“Trust me, Zombie Eyes looks at you like you put the fucking stars in the sky. It’s disgusting to watch.” He crinkles his nose in disgust earning a small laugh. “People like him and I, we gotta work twice as hard. Not saying that no one else does but it’s different.” He stresses the last word. “People like Ei or Deku or even you, people already see you as good so all you gotta do is get stronger. They don’t question your character, your morals, they don’t look down on you for having a weakness. People like Zombie Eyes and I though?we gotta work hard just to prove that we’re good. That we were meant to become heroes. Every action we do is put under a microscope and analyzed.” He explains.
“We’re assholes by default, It’s how we were raised. Not saying it as an excuse though. He was in the shitty system and I had shitty parents, no adult taught us shit like love or how to properly deal with feelings.”
Stupid Deku tried with him but he didn’t even know how to deal with his own much less some angry blond kid’s.
He takes a deep breath, pushing back faint memories of his childhood. The younger hasn’t said a word but he can tell he’s listening so it’s fine. “We can’t just turn off how we are. If it’s frustrating for you and Ei, It’s worse for us. Like we know logically that we’re good people, that we changed but that’s now how our brain sees it. We push ourselves because that’s all we know how to do, it proves to us and everyone else that we bled for our spot here. That we made it. Having friends is hard because we compare ourselves to them and draw our own conclusions to their actions. Being nice? Our brain says it’s a trap. Showing some human fucking decency? Our shitty brain says it’s an act. Being in a relationship? Laughable. We’re just villains pretending to play heroes to everyone else.”
He takes another deep breath, forcing himself to look away from the poster, flashbacks to their first year briefly passing in his head. Okay yeah, not going down that route. He looks over, making eye contact. He wonders if this is how Kirishima feels whenever he’s trying to cheer him up. Wonders if it’s just as hard. This better be worth it, everyone has been miserable. (Shitty thing about having been through life and death situations together is that everyone has bonded and become close like a family so when one of them is sad it’s like everyone is fucking sad.) (He loathes it because even he gets worried.)
“But despite that he still loves you.” He says softly, almost whispering like he’s telling the other a secret. “Fights his demons to hold your hand and all that shit”
Shinsou loves him? Loves him?
“How do you.. how do you know?” Denki whispers, throat sore. “We fought so badly last night, we were screaming at eachother.”
“He treats you the same way I treat Ei.” He answers,
“He changed his priorities around to try and accommodate for another person in his life, you became more important than training or studying. He takes days off to be with you, cuts his studying short if you need a break. It might not seem much to others but for him that’s huge. He came in with this one track mind but then you came along and he scrambled to balance everything. And then you two got your shit together and started to go out and I’m pretty sure he got scared”
“Scared?” Denki asks, the thought almost funny to him.
“I did.” Bakugou admits as Denki’s eyes grow wide.
“I was petrified. When Ei started to become more important than hero work, I freaked. It’s not that loverboy is choosing being a hero over you, It’s because he doesn’t understand that he can have both. He thinks everything important is a choice- that if you want something you have to give something up. He chooses hero work and he loses you. He chooses you and he loses hero work.”
“But he’s not going to lose me or hero work”
“Kinda sounded like you did give him an ultimatum though”
The realization hits him like cold water.
Shinsou gets a similar talk with Kirishima
It helps, a lot
They don’t immediately go back to eachother, instead spending the week with their everyone else and just taking time for themselves
Shinsou knocks on Denki’s door Sunday morning and they finally talk things out
It’s also the first time they say ily!!
Anyways after that fight they work harder on communicating especially when it comes to things like hero work
It’s not perfect bc their dumb traumatized teens but they’re trying and they know their lil family will always be there
I haven’t slept but yes thanks for sticking around if you’re reading this
If ur interested in shinsou’s talk with Kirishima lmk
160 notes · View notes
binniesthighs · 3 years
Note
can u do an enemy to lovers au with han jisung where they are in a hidden fwb relationship? thank u~ 🥺
I really look some creative liberties with this one HA but the product...hehe, I hope that you enjoy it love! I also kinda accidentally made it a period piece??? Like 50′s-60′s? Idk how this happened but the vibe and the music I was listening to while writing really put me in that mood haha
blue velvet | reader x jisung |
Paring: self insert, gender neutral reader x han jisung
Genre: smut n’ angst
Tags: stripper!jisung, stripper!reader, bi!jisung, enemies (competitors) to lovers, secret relationship, friends with benefits, explicit language, mentions of alcohol, degrading names, choking, spanking, v mild spit play, unprotected sex (wrap it before you slippity slap it friends), creampie, cum eating, scratching, oral (reader receiving) semi-public sex, hello yes this one is kinda filthy ooooops
Word count: 3.2k
Recommended listening: Blue Velvet by Bobby Vinton
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Fuck. It’s hot in here. Too fucking hot.
Reconnaissance. That’s what you were doing. It was fucking disgusting. Everyone in the room was just as fake as the pleather belts that held their guts in. You had never seen anything more embarrassing in your whole life. Desperation was sweating off the walls and sunk into your skin. It made you feel sick.
You scoffed and took a long sip from your drink.
“One more?” An attentive maître d' asked you--if he could even been called that in a place like this.
You covered your hand over your glass. You refused to pay for any more of that cheap tasting shit.
Next to you a rapt group of men in suits wagged their tails at the view. She wasn’t even very pretty.
Rolling your eyes, you scoped out the rest of the room, adorned in red velvet and gold nearly everywhere. What was this? A high school musical? Even those had more class than this place.
You checked your sliver wristwatch lined by dainty diamonds. You always did like gifts. Too bad rarely anyone would get anything in return.
The girls on the stage twirled around, giving the audience the best view that they could, tiger-prowling to those waving bills in their grabby hands. They were tanned and fashioned into strappy and lacy pieces that looked like they all must have shared them. Pathetic.
“You come here often?”
He swirled some clear looking liquid in his crystal glass, the little string of olives clinking the side.
“Are you speaking to me?”
“No, I’m talking to them.” He head nodded to the same group of greasy businessmen. “I haven’t seen you here before.”
“It’s my first time...and likely my last.”
“Huh. Tough critic.”
He didn’t look like the rest of them. Younger, reeking less of starved attention. He had golden blonde hair, and a silk white shirt unbuttoned far into a deep V. He was toned: the muscles on his arms were visible under the thin fabric and his abs made a show thanks to the abandonment of buttons. He wore dress pants perfectly fitted for his thighs. He was...attractive...but not your type.
“What’s not to like? Beautiful people, drinks to make you forget your mistakes? Not your scene?”
You rested your chin in your palm. “It’s my scene, but not this scene.”
“Suit yourself.” He took another swing, pivoting his body towards you, legs spread wide. “I think I know someone who can change you mind though.”
“In this place? Unlikely.”
“Come on...just stay a little bit longer and they’ll come out. They’re the last act of the night for a reason.” He signaled to the maître d' and whispered something into his ear. “Drinks on me. If you’ll stay?”
“Free drinks?” You put down your empty glass. “I suppose I can’t say no to that.”
╚ ��—————————————— ╝
It was thirty minutes till closing, and you had stayed much longer than you had liked. After all the drinks you had to pass the time, you were starting to feel a little buzz, but nothing much really phased you these days. You started to wonder if he had been pulling some kind of prank. Nothing you had seen was what he had hyped it up to be.
The lights dimmed behind you, making the room dark enough for the tiny white candles at the tables to provide the only light. Spotlights flashed on from behind you too, illuminating the U shaped stage. With the lights, the music faded into something much more sultry.
The first two girls stepped out, both of them wearing white sets that were nearly identical with sheer robes. Two others stepped out after them, this time wearing red and black. It was the same thing you had been seeing all night.
The spotlight tightened.
It was him.
He was wearing a button down and those same pants, everything seemed so tight on him, accentuating every curve of his body. Strangely, when he walked out, he was greeted with wolf-whistles and hoots. He winked back at his spectators, nearly falling out of their chairs to see him better. It was even stranger considering the audience was filled with men.
He walked around the girls on stage as if he was inspecting them, his eyes eating up every bit of their skin. He confidence was unparalleled. He would run his hands down their sides, digging his fingers into their hips. They circled around him until his body was covered with their hands, teasing the audience, just barely touching around his dick, which with his pants...there was little room for imagination.
Silent moans left his lips once they started undressing him giving him their full attention. The cheers grew even louder. Before long, he was nearly fully undressed swaying to the music. He wore nothing special, just some briefs, like any normal person would. It was...confusing.
He took turns “giving attention” to every girl, looking at them like he worshiped the ground the walked on. They would grind their bodies together, or he would pick them up in his arms, and they would wrap their long legs around him. He would pantomime fucking them from behind, screwing up his face as if he really was. Everyone went crazy for that.
It didn’t last for very long and the lights soon went all the way down, leaving the stage scattered with sweating bodies, panting as if they had just cum, entangling themselves all in eachother.
You were a bit unenthused, but it was different. There was something about him that was different.
╚ ——————————————— ╝
“Were the drinks enough for you?” His voice called to you just as you were about to leave. This time, he returned wearing the same silk shirt.
“I hope that I didn’t make you pay for too many.” You pouted with faux empathy.
“And the show?” He grinned a little.
“Interesting. Considering a place like this.”
He laughed a little. “I help with...the imagination.”  
“So they pretend that you’re them. I’ll admit, it’s smart.”
“You’d be surprised, somedays I get more male customers compared to most of the girls here.” He bit his lip as if recalling a memory. “They pay well too, pay for whatever they aren’t getting at home. Who am I do deny them that when it’s my job?
“You sleep with them?”
“The ones I like.”
“Sounds exhausting.”
“Can be. In a good way.” He let out a sharp laugh. “So. Did I prove you wrong?”
“Hmmm. I could do better.”
He popped his brows up. “You could?”
He was intriguing. You decided to give him a bite. “I dance at La Rose Rouge.”
“You dance at that overpriced, snotty ass place?” His words turned poisonous.  What’s it like dancing for a guy who’s got a stick so far up his ass--”
“--The price is right, and you get what you pay for there...especially if its me.”
“How am I not surprised?”
“I need to go, I’ve seen all I could here.” You bowed at him a little.
“Wait.” He grabbed at your arm. “I’ve still got one more thing to show you. Follow me.”
 ╚ ——————————————— ╝
Your insides were on fire as he fucked into you. Every time that he thrust into you, he was relentless and unforgiving. He was going so fast you could barely catch your breath. You were bent over some dusty old sofa in an equally dusty dressing room. You would kill him if he left bruises on your hips from how hard he was holding you.
“fuck. shit.” He panted, then reached one of his hands around to rub at your sensitive sex, slick with your excitement.
He was so fucking cocky, but he knew what the hell he was doing. He bent over your back, sucking into your skin, wrapping his arms around you to tweak your nipples. He was wrecking you from the inside out, devouring you like he had never tasted anything like you.
He kicked your legs open even farther. “Fucking moan for me, slut.”
You had barely let him hear more than a few gasps, he didn’t deserve it. You wanted him to moan for you.
“Who are you calling slut?” You said with venom.
You shoved off of him, and he looked devastated. He was cute. He even frowned regretfully like he had done something wrong.
The metal of your rings dug into his neck when you grabbed it, squeezing as hard as you could. Your hot breath snuck into his ear, “No, you fucking moan for me...slut.”
You attacked his lips, tracing the insides of his mouth with your tongue. He moaned right into you and grabbed handfuls of your ass with his two hands. Your teeth bit his lip and pulled. His dick trembled between the two of you and he rutted against your stomach to get some kind of relief.
He took one of his hands to your hair before resting his glossy brown eyes on you. “I’d do anything for you.” His voice quivered. “You ruin me.”
“Get on the floor.” You commanded him, and he did as he was told without a question, laying his bare body on the cold concrete.
The chill of the stone stung your knees, but that didn’t matter, you just wanted to see him unravel. You straddled down onto him, taking him in as you sunk down.
“oh shit,” slipped off your tongue without you having much control over it.
You rolled your core over him, back and forth, circling yourself and bouncing up and down as he rolled his eyes back, licking his lips while you did everything that you wanted. As you bounced he held on to your ass, digging his fingertips in. You had your eyes closed, so you didn’t see it when he rose is hand to slap you hard. It burned beautifully.
“—Jisung? Are you done yet? The rest of us are going out.” A female voice called, and rattled the locked door.
“FUCK OFF.” He groaned, and held onto your ass even tighter.
You let out a unamused tsk. “Jisung? That’s your real name?”
He didn’t say anything, but instead swiftly took you in his arms to lay you down. The chill of the floor startled you into wince, but it felt amazing compared to how hot you were. He entered you immediately again, then slung your legs over his shoulders. His blonde hair appeared to bounce a little with each thrust.
You knew exactly what you were doing when you dragged your nails down his arms, waterfalling pink, perfect, lines. His whole body seized at the sensation, sending him into a fury. He licked his hand from palm to fingers, not breaking your gaze as he used it to rub relentlessly at you.
You were on the edge.  
“Want my cum, you whore?”
You were close as well, and it clouded your senses--you felt yourself slipping into him after holding back for so long.
“ye-yes, I want it.”
He came in seconds, doubling over you when he did, panting like a dog, with you gasping just as hard from your own orgasm. He seemed to shake a little as he came down, nearly suffocating you with his body weight. You jiggled your hips just a little to get a rise out of him. You had guessed correctly, someone like him couldn’t take overstimulation.
“Fuck, wait, wait. I-I can’t take anymore.”
You laughed a little and stopped. “You’re no fun.”
“I thought I literally just proved to you that I’m loads of fun.”
“Mmm, I suppose.”
“You liked it?” He ran his hand through his sweaty roots.
“You made me cum, so...usually I have to fake it.”
“Really?”
You nodded.
“I’m honored.” He grinned a little pridefully.
You reached down to your hole to catch a few drops of his cum on your fingers, stretching it out a little and playing with it. He watched you as you did so, eyes wide. You stood to grab his jaw, sticking your fingers in his mouth which he eagerly sucked.
“Where have you been my whole life?” He looked up at you in wonder.
“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that...Jisung.”
He watched you then as you dressed, careful not to forget your gorgeous silver wristwatch.
“I won’t be coming back, so don’t expect that this will happen again.”
“Wait--” He stopped you before you grabbed the door handle. “You didn’t tell me your name--”
“--That’s something you don’t need to know.”
╚ ——————————————— ╝
“Darling, is there anything that I can get you?”
Your manager swept a caring hand to hold you by the small of your back.
“No, thank you though, love.” You shone brightly back to him.
“Just let me know? So far we’ve got a queue for you. Four gentlemen and three ladies. I expect that the tips tonight will be generous...it’s payday.”
You politely nodded. “Of course.”
“Have you been having a hard time with any of the new faces?”
You took a sip of your brandy. “Some of them have some mouth, but I’ll make them dignified. You can trust me.”
“I always do.” He gently kissed your cheek. “Ah, I forgot to mention, one of your customers brought you a gift. It’s in your dressing room; he wants you to wear it for your dance tonight.”
“I do love gifts.”
“Go get ready darling, you haven’t got much more time.”
Once you were in your dressing room, a medium sized white box waited for you on your vanity. There was no labels; no indication that it was from a luxurious brand. You opened it, and the shirt was wrapped in light pink tissue paper. It was too short to be a robe, but it was silk and white with buttons that looked more decorative rather than useful. You figured it must have been your customer’s: many of them got off to you wearing their clothes. It wasn’t your usual style, but you knew how to make anything work.
╚ ——————————————— ╝
“And for our last act of the night: the wonderful, the illustrious...”
You walked out to the silent stage: meant only for you, the stage lights yellow, shrouding you in their brilliance. Your chest was bare, save for the silky shirt falling off your shoulders. They were cheering for you, throwing paper bills at you and calling your name, but you couldn’t hear them at all. You had never felt so whole in your life since being on the stage. It seemed like the rest of your days were just spent chasing some kind of feeling that merely resembled that.
Barefoot, you pranced along the stage, twirling like a ballerina even, letting the shirt billow up just so they could see your perky bottom. With all of their eyes on you, you felt like an absolute vision--like an ethereal being, desired, but impossibly attainable.
The jazz song played on by the live players, a muted trumpet and violins accompanied you. Your eyes swept across the blue velvet curtains of the booths, to every man and woman looking at you in awe. You let the shirt slip just a bit farther, revealing your back, winking. You never had to show them much. It was your charisma that they thirsted for--and that they could only get a small taste of.
╚ ——————————————— ╝
“Darlin’ you’re a catch, an absolute catch.” Your manager snuck up behind you taking your makeup off to hand you the ridiculously fat stack of bills. “You keep us afloat baby, you know that I can’t thank you enough.” He bowed.
“Stop flattering me.” You remarked with a smirk. “I know.”
Your manager left, then the curtain to your room screeched again. He slowly stepped into the light, applauding slightly.
“He’s right you know? Even I can’t get enough of you.”
It was him, cocky smile, swept blonde hair and all.
“You again? I’m surprised that you even made it in here at all. Considering who you are.”
“What? The competition? You didn’t tell them about me, did you?”
You patted some serums into your face. “Better leave soon before they rid you of that handsome face of yours.”
“You saying that I’m handsome?” He snarked.
“What are you doing here anyway?”
“Seeing you, I thought I made that clear? Isn’t that what you were doing when you came to my club?”
“Like what you saw?”
“I stand corrected.” He let up, advancing towards you at your vanity. “And you look just as stunning in my shirt as I thought you would.”
“Your...this is yours? How the hell did you mange that?”
“I have my ways.”
“I suppose you want it back then.”
“No...you can keep it...if you promise me one thing.”
“And what would that be?”
He reached out for your hands, which you tentatively took. He swept you up, pulling you into his chest with eyes dipped in lust.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” He spoke onto your lips with heated breath.
You would’ve been lying if you had said his lips didn’t look appetizing.
“One more time.”
“Bold of you to assume that I’d want to fuck you again.”
“You haven’t been thinking of it too? My hands on your body...”He caressed your body down, “My lips on yours?” He pulled you in by the chin to carefully part your lips with his. “My dick filling you up?” He pulled you in closer to feel his pulsating dick. “You don’t think about it?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“That you want me. All you have to do is say it and I’m yours.”
“You’re looking to get killed if they know you’ve touched me.”
“I’d happily die for you.”
“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that...Jisung.”
His lips fell to your neck where he pressed slow kisses onto it. “Just say it...”
The cool of his saliva on your skin met the air, tingling. You couldn’t believe you found yourself considering...
“I know you want to...”
“This won’t be a common occurrence.” You got out, suppressing your moans.
“Is that a yes?”
“...yes.”
“And we’ll see about that.” He slyly grinned, meeting your lips once again.
He swept you up, and your legs naturally wrapped around him. He carried you out of the dressing room to the main hall, pulling you both into the nearest booth, drawing the blue velvet curtains behind him. His eyes devoured you, casting aside his silk shirt that loosely clung to you. You threw your weight onto the table, opening your legs for him, inviting him. He chuckled a little at the action.
“I can imagine you must’ve been thinking of this as well then.” He kissed down your stomach, removing what underwear you were barely wearing. He kissed and sucked at the skin in your inner thighs, kindling your excitement. Spit gathered on his tongue, which he let drip down to your sex which glistened for him.
Your core begged for that feeling once again, that feeling only he could give you: the one that made you feel alive, like you weren’t just chasing some impossibility.
He lapped at you slowly with his tongue, awakening your whole body.
“I fucking want you.”
315 notes · View notes
jisungsplatforms · 3 years
Text
Sunflower
Pairing: Lee Felix x gn! reader
Genre: angst, fluff; Hanahaki au, college au, non idol au, (mutual) pining
Warnings: language, tiny tiny spoilers & allusions to some of my other fics if you squint hard enough. Some elements of Seungmin x reader (platonic), passing out in school, idk what else really, i guess getting caught making out by a doctor?
Note: this does NOT portray Stray Kids’ true personalities. This is all purely FICTIONAL
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(Page III)
Sunflower:
“Tall, cheery flowers that symbolizes
adoration, loyalty and longevity
These charming beauties are know for being the “happiest” flowers in the world.”
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Lee Felix.
If anyone could describe the guy, they’d say he’s sweet, bubbly, cute, fun, laid back. The type of guy who’d treat you like you’re royalty, but won’t hesitate to scold you if necessary. The guy you’d rely on when you need a shoulder to cry on. The guy who’d go through the ends of the earth to make you happy. The guy who could light up a building with just his smile.
But to you. You would describe him as:
The stunningly beautiful man who sits beside you in class every single day whom you’ve had a crush on for the past two years, whose presence always makes your day when you see him and would kill to be the reason of his insanely cute smiles and want nothing more than for him to be yours and vise versa.
Okay, yeah, a little lengthy, but you get the jist.
You sighed, turning to face the window a table away from you. Outside, you can already see the field of flowers nearby the classroom (courtesy of the environmentalist club at your school). Looking at the sea of colorful beauties always made you feel at peace inside, especially the tall sunflowers that had its own little field that you absolutely adored.
“Hey, Y/n?”
Speaking of sunflowers.
You turned your head to look straight into Felix’s glimmering doe eyes. You felt your heartbeat race when he gave you an adorably tiny grin.
“So, I’ve been meaning to ask, and your answer, by the way, will affect our friendship okay?” he trailed off, putting his phone down beside him. Your eyes widened at his choice of words. Is this it? This is it. OMG. THE Lee Felix is asking me out on a date! you thought giddily, already planning out your “date” in your head. “This is a question I’ve wanted to ask you for a while so,” Felix let out a little sigh, making your heart pound in anticipation, before continuing, “are you a pineapple pizza hater?”
...What?
Your shoulders were slumped in disappointment but was quickly replaced in confusion once you let your mind dwell on the question he asked you. “Huh? What? How does this affect our friendship?”
“Come on, just answer! I gotta know!”
You huffed out a small giggle, turning to face him even more. But before you could reply to his silliness, the bell rang.
“Oh! Wait, nevermind, looks like I gotta go now, Y,n,” he said as he packed his stuff into his bag. “I needa run home first then meet up with you and Seungmin later. I’ll see you then, yeah? Just answer my question later.”
“Uh...Yup! We’ll talk more later,” you said, starting to pack up your own things, “See you!”
“Bye bye!” Felix gave you a cute smile as he waved goodbye.
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“I’m pathetic.”
You let out a despondent sigh, your body hunched over the coffee shop’s table while Seungmin quietly consoled you as he pitifully strokes your back.
“I mean, granted, you wouldn’t be so mopey if you, i don’t know, ask him out instead?” he said, not even looking up from his phone. You shot your head up to look at him in disbelief.
“And risk ruining my friendship with the greatest person who has ever lived? No thank you.”
Seungmin rolled his eyes and finally looked at you. “Don’t be so dramatic, you big baby. It won’t be the end of the world if you rejects your offer.”
You snarled at him. “Maybe not YOUR world, mine, however, would literally be decimated into little particles of dust, Seungmin dear.” You smacked your forehead back down to the table after your little personal dramatic monologue.
He shook his head in disapproval, clicking his tongue. “Sheesh. Drama queen,” he muttered to himself.
“I heard that, you jerk.”
“Good. ‘Cause it’s true. You need to suck it up and ask the ‘love of your life’ out on a date or so help me, I will drive you both to the middle of nowhere so you can sort out your feelings for each other.”
You moved your head again to face him with a pout. “And you say I’m the drama queen.” Seungmin only huffed in annoyance.
“Do something about it, or I will, Y/n. I’m serious!”
“Okay! Okay!” you said defeatedly. “I’ll get to it. Don’t worry.”
“You better,” he said, sternly, pointing his finger at you like how a mother would scold their child. His next sentence, though, you couldn’t quite catch. “I’m sick and tired of counseling you both like love sick puppies.”
You sigh for the umpteenth time today, slumping on your chair. The dainty bell handing on the entrance jingled, indicating a new customer. From your right, you could hear a cute but deep giggle. Then felt warm hands on each of your shoulders
“Aww, why’s my little cutie so pouty now?”
You did a literal double take hearing Felix call you ‘cute’, face heating up as you looked up at him. Seungmin gave you both the look before composing himself.
“What took you so long, Lix?” Seungmin questioned the blond. Felix pulled out a chair beside you to sit.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said, rubbing his nape, “Had to help mum out with something. It’s nothing bad though, don’t worry about it.”
“Hmm. If you say so,” you replied, “Let’s just work on some assignments, yeah?”
Several hours later, it was starting to get dark, so the three of you called it a night. You all gathered up your things as you talked.
“Oh, by the way, I might not be able to meet up with you guys tomorrow,” Seungmin announced. “Might be busy. Just to let you know.”
Felix was the first to reply. “Mhmm, that’s fine. We’ll just see you at school.”
“Yup.”
The three of you left the coffee shop, giving each other a quick ‘goodbye’. You and Felix walk in the same direction while Seungmin goes the opposite way. The two of you walked in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company. You hummed a little tune amidst your walk home. You didn’t notice the adoring smile Felix was giving you.
“You have a beautiful voice,” he whispered. You glanced at him before turning your head down, feeling yourself get flustered.
“Thank you,” you responded, “you know, you have quite a beautiful voice too, Lix.”
Felix could feel the butterflies swarming in his stomach at your compliment. “No, no. It’s not the best, but thank you!”
You turned your head to face him again, a little shocked that he would doubt himself. “You serious? Dude, you have like this rich, deep ass voice when you talk but when you sing? It's like...”
Felix waited for you to find the right words to describe him.
“... I don’t really know how to describe it with just words but it's the best thing I’ve ever heard with my own ears! It’s like being blessed by god himself when I hear you. I could lose myself just listening to you sing.”
He was taken aback. Singing was something he was shy about, so hearing how much you love his own made his heart flutter. He smiled so widely, his eyes turned into little crescents.
“Thank you, Y/n,” Felix giggled. Hearing that, you felt yourself get embarrassed, realizing how you got a little carried away.
“You’re welcome.”
You didn’t even notice that you were already at your house. Dejectedly, you turned to bid Felix goodbye, even though you didn’t want to.
“Bye, Y/n! See you in our ‘date’ tomorrow!” he laughed half-jokingly. Only then did you realize that it was just going to be you and Felix tomorrow. You froze, a little panicked.
“Uh- yeah! See ya’!” you said hurriedly, making a beeline to the inside of your house. Once you made it to the door, you turned your body in a 60° angle to wave goodbye, to which he returned. You stumbled with your keys for a while before finally unlocking the door. You swear you could hear Felix chuckling at your blunder. You gave him an awkward smile before slamming the door shut.
You threw your bag onto the floor, sighing as you slid down the door. You held your forehead in embarrassment. “What is wrong with me?”
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It was now after your last class for the day. You made your way to the coffee shop you, Seungmin, and Felixi usually go to do homework. You were beyond nervous. It was just going to be you and Felix, aka the love of your life, on a little table together for the next 3-4 hours.
Damn you, Seungmin, you cursed inwardly.
Speaking of Seungmin, you could see his figure two stores down from where you were supposed to meet up. You hurriedly jogged up to him to talk.
“Hey, Min! Kim Seungmin!”
He turned around at the sound of your voice.
“Hi, Y/n,” he greeted, “aren’t you supposed to be with Lix right now?”
“I’m on my way there now.” Looking at his hands, you noticed the small bouquet of Chrysanthemums in them. “Ooh...Who’s that for?” you asked like the nosy person you are.
Seungmin glanced down before looking at you a little awkwardly. “It’s, uhm, for my dead friend.”
You widen your eyes in shock. “Oh my gosh. I am so sorry!”
“No, no. It’s fine. You didn’t know. It’s okay, really!”
“I still feel bad though...”
“Hey. I told you, it’s okay. It’s no big deal.”
You hummed awkwardly, not knowing what to say other than apologizing. Somewhere in your mind, you really wanted to ask what happened to his friend, but decided not to in fear of offending him in any way. However, Seungmin seemed to read you. “Hey, Y/n, have you heard of the Hanahaki Disease?”
You looked in confusion. “Hantahapki? What’s that?”
“Hanahaki. It’s this disease you get from unrequited love that makes you cough a crap ton of flowers until you die.”
“Ohh man. That sounds terrible.”
“It is. That’s actually how my, uh, friend died.”
“Oh, Seungmin…”
Seeing your closest friend so upset made your heart ache. You stepped closer to him, being mindful of the bouquet, to give him a hug. Seungmin sighed in content, returning the hug. “Thanks. I need that,” he said quickly, burying his face to your shoulder.
“Of course, Min. You’re always there for me, let me return the favor, even if it’s just a hug.” You could feel Seungmin tightening his hold on you. He whispered a quiet “thank you” before letting go.
“Now go to your date with lover boy,” he said, smiling, “don’t keep him waiting. Nevermind me.”
You chuckled as well, waving goodbye. “Yeah, yeah. Bye, Seung!”
You walked a couple more steps til you arrived at your destination. Inside, you could already see Felix inside on his phone. You stepped inside, greeting the barista as you went in, walking to where Felix was. You dropped your bag in front of him, startling him a little.
“Hey,” you greeted with a smile.
“Hey,” He gave you a sweet smile.
You slid inside your side of the booth and got started on your work. For the first two hours, the two of you talked and talked. At one point, Felix mentioned the sunflowers that you both always see outside the window of your only shared class. Your eyes lit up.
“Oh my god. I LOVE them so much!” you gushed. “They’re so lovely and bright and tall too, like how the heck are they so tall? Honestly, how could you not love sunflowers!” Remembering a small little trivia about them, you beamed. “Did you know that sunflowers are known as the happiest flowers in the world? That’s why they’re the perfect gifts to give to friends!”
“Ohh really now?” Felix chuckled at your enthusiasm.
“Man, I have to thank my friend for convincing her club’s president to plant them! Seeing them everyday is, like, the one of the only reasons why I come to class everyday.”
He giggled at the dreamy look on your face. “I really like you, Y/n,” he said adoringly. “You should see how cute you look right now.”
Your heart swelled in delight. You were in such a shock, you didn’t know how to react. Your palms felt sweaty on your lap. However, your glee was shattered into a million pieces by his next sentence.
“I’m so glad to have you as a friend!” Felix adds.
A friend. What a terrible title it was.
Even though you were heartbroken to the core, you still didn’t show it on your face. Instead, you gave him the biggest, yet fakest, smile you could muster, ignoring the heaviness in your chest.
“I’m glad that we’re friends too, Felix,” you lied, voice nearly cracking at the word ‘friends’. Felix gave you a small smile before going back on his phone. In that moment, you really wished you didn’t see the familiar name that plagued his notifications. You could hear the keys on his phone clicking as he texted someone in the background, but that could be barely heard over the sound of your heart shattering.
If someone could hear your thoughts, they would say that you were being over dramatic, but you would beg to differ. Felix was the first guy you’ve ever had a crush on. Sure, you’ve found people attractive before, but no one has ever made your heart flutter the way this sweetheart of a man does. In the middle of your thoughts, Felix called out your name.
“Y/n? Hey, Y/n?”
“Hm, wha-?” you said, kind of in a daze.
“Sorry, I have to cut our session short. Something kinda came up.”
“Oh...Oh sorry. Uh, go ahead, I’ll just stay behind to work on a little more work.”
“You sure?” he looked at you worryingly. He tried reaching over to touch your hand, but you dodged it stealthily. Your hands swiftly went back to your laptop to type.
“Yeah. It’s okay. Go for it.”
His worried stare lingered a little longer than expected before he slowly packed his things. “Thanks,” he murmured. He slid out of his booth once he was finished, grabbing his phone on the table. “Bye, Y/n,” he said quietly with a strained smile, one you didn’t notice since you were trying your best to not look at him in fear of breaking down.
“Bye,” you said, flatly. You listened to his footsteps get quieter as he left the shop. Only when you heard the bell on the door jingle, indicating that he left, did you let out your emotions. You smacked your head onto the table and let your tears fall. Pathetic, so pathetic, you thought. You tried your best to cry silently, out of respect for the other customers in the shop and your dignity. It was a little embarrassing that you were crying in a public area, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be care about it.
The pressure in your chest was getting heavier and heavier. Thinking it was just a mere cough wanting to make its way out of your esophagus, you let yourself do so, angling your head away from the outside. The pressure, however, was heavier than you expected, so you continued hacking your lungs out. Forcing yourself to stop, you slowly lifted your head to drink your water to relieve your now sore throat. Through blurry eyes, you could see several yellow petals underneath you.
Are those...sunflower petals? you panicked, seeing how there weren’t any sunflowers, real or fake, in the coffee shop. Your eyes widened when you remembered your conversation with Seungmin a few hours ago.
Shit…
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“What do you mean you got the Hanahaki Disease?!” Seungmin exclaimed. He stared with eyes so wide, you were afraid that they might pop out of his sockets. You almost wanted to laugh hearing him so surprised if the situation wasn’t so grim. You fiddled with your fingers, nervous to meet your other friend’s eyes. Taking a deep breath, you looked to see Seungmin’s horrified expression.
“I-I don’t know how! It just- I just started coughing out sunflower petals after he told me how happy he was that we are friends!”
Seungmin’s look of shock instantly changed into one of pity. “Oh...So he rejected you, huh?”
You nodded slowly, mumbling, “Yeah. Indirectly...” Seungmin hummed sadly, scooting closer to you to side hug you.
“I’m sorry, Y/n,” he murmured, rubbing your arm. You leaned your head onto his shoulder, pouting. “But, maybe you still have a chance? You did say indirectly so maybe he still doesn’t know that you like him and might change his answer.”
“Yeah, sure. As if the sunflower petals coming out of my mouth isn’t a clear indication of Felix not returning my feelings isn’t obvious enough.”
“Hey! Anything could happen!”
“I guess...I just...I don’t know. I can’t really think straight right now,” you groaned, moving your head from Seungmin’s shoulder to his lap. He leans back onto the couch, relaxing his back against his couch.
“I told you, Y/n. Anything could happen. It won’t hurt to try, right?” he said, patting your head.
“I guess,” you pouted, sighing as you closed your eyes to relax. “Love sucks, doesn’t it, Min?”
Seungmin laughed through his nose, a tiny grin playing on his lips. “I wouldn’t say it sucks, per say, but yeah. It’s hard, isn’t it?”
“Sometimes I wish that I can’t love anymore, you know? So I don’t have to go through the pain of heartbreak ever again,” you paused before continuing. “I’ve done a little research before you came but, it said that I can actually achieve that if I surgically remove the disease from me.”
The room stayed quiet for a while before you continued. “Maybe... I should do it.” Even through closed eyes, you could tell Seungmin was taken aback by your words. He stopped rubbing your head, his whole body stiff. “Min?” you whispered, opening your eyes to see the look of disappointment on his face.
“Don’t say that, Y/n. Ever,” he sighed as he sat up on the couch, urging you to sit up too. “I know you’re hurting. Trust me. I’ve been through it too. But this isn’t something you should decide on the whim.”
He grabbed your shoulders, a little tighter than anticipated. “Talk to Lix first before you make your final decision. Don’t make this one of the things that you’ll end up regretting.”
You look down, biting your lip to control the frown that was threatening to show. You knew, deep down, that he said this as your friend; as someone who wants the best for you, but your emotionally unstable mind warped it to say otherwise. You rolled your eyes, clicking your tongue. “What do you know? You’ve never been in love before.”
Seungmin’s eyes widened. He was upset that you’d say such a thing to him. Being the rational person he is, he knew that you just said that out of despair, but it still hurt him nonetheless. He let go of your shoulders, moving them to his lap instead. Looking up to see his sad face was the exact moment you realized you messed up.
“Min, I-”
He cut you off by standing up, brushing off your hand that was about to touch his arm. Silently, he walked out of the living room, grabbing his coat.
You felt a wave of panic within your body. “Hey, Seungmin! I’m sorry! I didn’t-”
“You didn’t mean it, I know, Y/n,” he replied coldly, his back still facing you. “I know you’re just upset right now, and I forgive you for that.”
Seungmin sighed, turning only his face to look at you. “But that doesn’t give you any right to be rude to me, to any one, actually. I just wanted you to think about it more. As someone who has experience.”
Your shoulders slumped, only realizing now the real reason why he was so hurt by you. “I’m...so sorry, Seungmin. I forgot. I- That was insensitive of me. I really didn’t…”
He finally turned his whole body around, the weak smile he was giving you fed your guilt even more. “I told you, I forgive you, Y/n.” Without another word, he opened your front door to let himself out. He tells you one last thing before shutting the door. “Just promise me that you’ll talk to him before you do anything stupid, okay?”
You slumped further into the couch in shame. You couldn't bring yourself to cry like you wanted to, the day being emotionally draining for you to handle. “I promise,” you whisper to yourself. You closed your eyes, opting to fall asleep on the couch for tonight.
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You rubbed your hands together as you walked aimlessly on the streets. After locking yourself in your dark house the whole day, you went out into the busy, afternoon streets to treat yourself. You were feeling a bit cranky seeing how you haven’t eaten anything yet, but not knowing what you wanted to eat. You let yourself wander a little more until you remembered something Felix had mentioned to you yesterday.
“There’s a new café that opened just last week. We should go there together soon!”
You walk into the direction of the café, wanting a “preview” of the food there. Arriving there, you note the pastel colors painted the walls, instead of the boring browns and greys most cafés are. You peeked through the window, debating whether you should wait for the other two boys or not. Looking around, you note a familiar mop of blond strands hunched over another figure on the other side of the shop.
Your heart dropped when you recognized the yellow sweater he was wearing, the same sweater you bought him for his birthday last year. Your eyes weren’t deceiving you, it really was Felix and his “best friend” in there, shamelessly hugging each other. You wanted to run away, you thought that they were too intimate to be just friends at this point. However, Seungmin’s advice haunted you from running. Now, you were determined to ask them what their stance in their relationship is and to confess to Felix this instance.
If only it was that easy for you. You stopped once you saw Felix turn his head to kiss the top of their head. Tears filled your eyes. No longer did you need to ask, it was already obvious to you. They’re together.
You turned around and walked, borderline running, away from the café. Not feeling the need to eat anymore, you ran all the way home. Once in a while, you stopped to rid yourself of the damned petals invading your lungs. If only you paid attention enough to notice the red petals that surrounded the two.
You slumped yourself against your door, once you arrived home. Everything around you looked...blurry. You couldn’t focus anymore. The only thing you can see are the bright yellow sunflower petals scattered around your floor. You clicked your tongue, shaking and laughing at the irony. The flower that you once adored and cherished is now the bane of your existence. You hopelessly kicked the petals away from you, your anger bubbling even more when they flew back to you.
Groaning, you stood up to mope on your couch instead, face planting the moment your knees hit the arm of it. You let yourself wallow in despair for almost 10 mins before remembering about the tap that was still open on your laptop. Scrambling to get up, you nearly tripped yourself on your way to your room. You opened your laptop and clicked on the tab labeled ‘The Onesided Love Syndrome’. You reread the information on the website.
“The Hanahaki disease is a rare, deadly illness born from unrequited love. When contracted, first, the infected’s throat will begin to fill up with flowers. Then, they will proceed to cough up, or even emesis, the petals. Eventually, their lungs will fill up with the fully bloomed flowers and will suffocate, ultimately leading to their demise,” you read out loud, feeling yourself get anxious. “It can only be cured in two ways. Patient must surgically remove the flower from their lungs, which will result in the patient losing all (romantic) feelings of love altogether. Patient’s love must be returned romantically...otherwise it will result in...death.”
You stayed silent. You were contemplating if you should do the procedure. You didn’t want to die but you knew that there was no other option. Felix was a taken man, and you had to accept that. However, your mind keeps going back to Seungmin and his saddened face. You turned your head to look at your phone, the screen lighting up to reveal a picture of you, Seungmin, and Felix.
You were smiling wide with your teeth showing in the picture while Seungmin had a small, dorky smile on his face. Your eyes lingered in Felix’s face. He was smiling with his teeth as well. Only he looked cuter than you with his freckles decorating his delicate face. The ambiance of the picture felt so warm as opposed to the cold, lonely room you were in. You hunched yourself over your bed to cough out the petals.
You grimaced with teary eyes, hating how it felt like you were throwing up. You got up, purposely stepping on the sunflower petals, to get a cup of water. I’ll wait. I’ll wait to make the right decision.
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You have successfully avoided Felix for the past week. It’s been 5 days since you’ve seen Felix and his lover in the café. 5 days since you’ve talked to Felix. Your chest hurt, yeah, every time you avoided him, but your chest would hurt even more if you actually did interact with him.
You walked past your next class, the class that you and Felix shared. You only had that class for 2 days of the week, so you didn’t feel bad skipping it. Not like I liked that class anyways. You were already 2 classes away when you heard your name being called.
“Y/n!”
You walked faster, your heart pounding when you recognized the voice. “Y/n! Hey!” Holding your bag closer to you, you started sprinting down the hall, getting weird looks from the people you passed. Seemed like Felix wasn’t going to let you out easy, he started chasing after you. You tried running faster when his voice started becoming louder.
Felix, being the surprisingly athletic man he is, easily caught up to you, firmly but gently gripping your shoulder. “Y/n! I’ve been wanting to talk to you!” he panted harshly. You were out of breath too, but tried your best to refrain yourself from gasping for air, in fear of triggering the disease. You stayed quiet, not making eye contact with him.
“So, what’s up, Y/n? Why have you been avoiding me?”
Shock ran throughout your body, not expecting him to cut to the chase so fast. You made a little glance at him to see the sad expression on his face. You quickly looked away before he could catch you.
“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? What’s happening to you?”
You hate it. You hate how caring he is. You hate the worried look on his face. You hate the way he holds you so gently. And you especially hate the way your heart flutters at the way he’s basically telling you that he misses you. You mustered up the strength to look at him in the eyes. “Nothing,” you said coldly, surprising both Felix and yourself.
“Nothing, huh? Then what’s up with you avoiding me then?” Felix asked with a stern tone. He stared at you with a soft but sad look, making you feel guilty for hurting him like this.
You murmured, “I told you it’s nothing, Felix. Just- leave me alone.”
Felix was surprised by your loftiness. He, however, chose to ignore it. “Fine. Don’t tell me what’s wrong. But at least tell me what’s up with you and Seungmin!”
“What about me and Seungmin?”
“You’re avoiding him too! And he looks like he doesn’t wanna see you either. What’s wrong, Y/n? You know you can trust me, right?” Felix moved his hand from your shoulder to your cheek. He caressed with his thumb while he muttered, “I care about you.”
Your face grew warm from the sudden intimacy. His face was unnecessarily close to yours, his warm breath fanning against your lips. His eyes were filled with so much emotion, it made your head dizzy. You wanted to kick yourself for leaning into his touch. You were so caught up in the moment that you couldn't bring yourself to push him away when his face leaned closer to yours. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Felix’s phone rang. Using the opportunity, you immediately pushed him away, missing the flash of pain on his face.
Slowly, he answered. Hearing him say the name you last wanted to hear, you could feel the sunflower petals making their way up your throat. From the corner of your eyes, you could see Felix’s face grow panicked. He then started calling out their name with such urgency that it made you feel a little panicked as well. Felix hung up then turned to you with a scared face. Even if you were jealous and annoyed that your moment was interrupted, that was still someone who was dear to Felix’s heart; someone who needed Felix.
“Go,” you said gently, “They need you. You care about them too, right?”
Without another word, Felix nodded, turning to run out of the school as fast as he could. Your heart ached the smaller his figure became. No longer could you contain the petals from spewing out of your mouth. You covered your mouth and coughed harder than you expected. Unlike the past few days, this couch was stronger. This time, you felt like you couldn’t stop. You coughed and coughed, grabbing the attention of a few people.
You felt lightheaded. You had a feeling that you would pass out. Right as your vision turned blurred, you could feel someone place their hands on your back and chest. “Y/n?! Y/n! Hang in there!”
“Seung...min?”
“Y/n!”
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You opened your eyes, feeling heavy. Your body ached, it was like you fell from the top of a 80 story building. Feeling something, or someone, holding your hand, you turned your head to see Seungmin resting half of his body on your bed.
Wait.
This isn't my bed? You slowly sat up and looked around. Seeing the white walls, suspended tv, and the heart monitor by your side, you confirmed that you were in the hospital. Looks like Seungmin took me here.
You felt Seungmin grip your hand tighter, stirring a bit before sitting up. His eyes met yours. “Hi,” he said quietly, squeezing your hand again.
“Hi,” you whispered back.
“You feeling okay?”
“Yeah but...I didn’t...You didn’t make me-”
Seungmin knew what you were trying to ask, like usual. “No. I didn’t. I wanted you to make the decision yourself.” You sighed in relief, falling back onto the comfort of the hospital bed. You stared up at the white ceiling as Seungmin stared at you.
“The doctor scanned you while you were unconscious,” he said.
“Yeah? What did he say?”
“He diagnosed you; said you had the disease for about a week now, which I told him that we already knew.”
You hummed, acknowledging that you were listening.
“Then he told me-“ Seungmin hesitated, trying to find the right words to use.
You sat up again, staring him down. “He told you, what?”
He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry but, you only have about a month left to live.”
“Wh-Wha? Huh?” you were scared. Only one month? “But I thought- I thought I’d have a little more time than that! One month only? How-?”
“It’s an unpredictable disease, Y/n. I know it’s only a short time left, but I still wanted you to talk to Lix first before you do it.”
You bit your lip to stop yourself from tearing up. “I kinda talked to him already- he’s kinda the reason why my petals went haywire. There’s nothing to talk about anymore, Min.”
“Yeah, but-”
“Besides. He needed to go to- you know. I didn’t wanna stop him from going, it sounded urgent.”
“Oh!” Seungmin gasped, “Luckily you said that! Felix is actually here.”
“...What?”
“Yup! Apparently they have the Hanahaki Disease too and their petals went haywire, like yours did. They just finished the surgery not that long ago!”
“Hanahaki…? But, how? I thought that they were together?”
“That’s why I keep telling you to talk to him,” he said, placing his free hand on your knee. “I’ll call him?”
You nodded your head, not trusting your voice. Seungmin let’s go and stands up. “I’ll be fast.” He jogged out of the room, leaving you alone with your confused heart.
About 10 minutes later, there was a knock. You looked up to see a tear-stained face Felix and a breathless Seungmin at the entrance. “I’ll leave you guys now,” Seungmin announced, patting Felix’s shoulder and muttering a good luck to both of you.
Felix cautiously walked inside, his eyes on the floor. He wordlessly sat on the chair Seungmin sat on. The two of you stayed quiet, not having the guts to look at each other.
“So, you too, huh?” Felix’s voice rang out. You turned to find him already staring at you. Different kinds of embarrassment flooded your mind.
“What? About me liking you too or about the Hanahaki thing?”
His face looked confused at the first thing you said. “Uh, both?” he said with uncertainty. “Wait. ‘Too’ as in, you knew I liked you, or-?”
“You like me...too?” Now you were confused as well. “Wait wait wait. Start over.”
“I meant, you had the Hanahaki disease too?”
“Yeah...Yeah I did. I mean, I still do. Seungmin didn’t want me to undergo the surgery just yet. He kept telling me that he didn’t want me to regret anything.”
Felix chuckled weakly. “Yup. That’s Seungmin, alright,” he sighed. “Looks like you guys are good now.”
“Yeah.” Another wave of silence took over the room.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered again. You looked at the boy that was hunched over in his chair. His hands were stiffly laid on his lap, but it looked like he wanted to hold your hands instead. So you did. You grabbed his hands, cupping them into your own. His eyes widened.
“I was scared,” you confessed with determination. “I didn’t know if I was ready to get hurt. I didn’t want to get hurt. So, I just stayed quiet all this time.”
You looked into his eyes with the same amount of passion he had in his. “But then I saw you hanging out with that best friend of yours more often and- and I got jealous. I feel bad, you should be about to hang out with whoever you want, especially with them! I shouldn’t have been jealous but there's no helping it, I guess. God, I even thought that you two were freaking dating! I was- I...“
You sighed, getting overwhelmed. You took another deep breath before continuing. getting straight to the point, you said, loud and proud, “I love you, Felix.”
Felix’s face turned red. His mouth literally dropped open.
“I love you so, so much, Felix Lee. This all happened because I love you so much, and I was just being selfish because I didn’t want to lose you...I guess I just ended up hurting a lot of people, not just myself.”
He dwelled in your confession. Felix was ecstatic to hear this! He stayed silent, still in overjoyed shock, which you misread.
“If you don’t reciprocate, it’s fine. I just wanted to tell you before I do the surgery.”
All of a sudden, Felix shot out of his chair, making it tip over, and kissed you, which greatly surprised you. His small hands cupped your face with such care, you almost wanted to cry. You kissed him back, moving your hands over his. With that one kiss, you could feel all the weight on your shoulders, and in your chest, disappear. Felix was the first to pull away, leaning his forehead against yours.
“God, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
“Hm?” you mumbled breathlessly. “Why don’t you do it again? You know I’ve been waiting for this too.”
He pulls you in for another kiss, this one more intense than the last one. This kiss was more desperate, like you both were scared that this was a dream. Before anything could get heated, the sound of a knock and someone clearing out their throat interrupted you two.
“Sorry to interrupt you kids, but I have a patient to examine?” The two of you frantically moved away from each other, flustered. You both muttered quick sorry’s to the doctor. The doctor walked closer to you, holding some documents and a weird device that looked like a fetoscope in his hands.
“You’re L/n, Y/n, I presume?”
“Yes, sir,” you confirmed, still embarrassed from getting caught making out with Felix. The said boy rocked on his feet, his arms were comically stiff in front of him.
“Your friend, Kim, should’ve told you what I told him. Now that you’re awake, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go through a procedure to remove the flower in your lungs. However, I’m guessing that that might not be necessary, anymore, hm?”
You and Felix grew hot. The both of you avoided eye contact with one another. The doctor only laughed at your awkwardness.
“It’s fine. No need to be embarrassed, youngins’,” he laughed, “This is way better than dying or living your life without love.”
You giggled stiffly, mustering the courage to look at Felix. “Yes, sir. You’re right,” you breathed out with a smile.
The Doctor hummed. “Well, judging by the little scene you’ve created, I think that you have already cured yourself from the disease,” he said, putting his documents down on the bedside table. “but just in case, please allow me to scan your chest to confirm.”
Hesitantly, you pulled down your shirt, revealing your chest. Felix, out of shyness, turned away from you with a red face. You had to resist the urge to laugh at his adorable-ness. The doctor gave you a lubricant to rub on your chest and held the device against it. He maneuvered it around your chest, observing the screen in his other hand.
“Well then, Y/n. Looks like you’re lucky! The petals have completely disappeared. You are now cured from Hanahaki!”
You smiled widely, looking at Felix, who returned your smile. The doctor excused himself out of the room, leaving you both alone.
“Congratulations, love. You now get to live a long life with your boyfriend!” Felix cheered. Your face burned at the title he had given himself.
“I love you,” you said happily.
“I love you too.” He steps closer to you to kiss you again when another knock interrupted you again. You laughed hearing the quiet “shit” that came out of Felix’s mouth. You both turned to see Seungmin standing there with a smug smile.
“I told you so,” he said proudly. You rolled your eyes at him.
“Yeah, yeah. I know. Thanks, Seungmin the wise,” you sarcastically said. The three of you laughed, happy that the bond between the three of you was now stronger than ever.
“Hey wait, you still haven’t answer my question, Y/n! Do you like pineapple pizza or not?”
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(Case #XX2-
Name: Y/n L/n
Patient: Cured; discharged at XX,XX,XXX at XX:XX)
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(back to Page I)
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stubbychaos · 4 years
Text
A Guilty Conscience
Chapter 10 of Saviin’ika
Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6|Part 7|Part 8|Part 9
Masterlist
Pairing: Paz Vizsla x Nurse!Reader
Summary: While you get used to your new role in the tribe, you make it your mission to meet the ones who are to be your family. While befriending some unlikely members of the tribe, Paz later surprises you with something that he thinks will make you happy, though it ends up having the opposite effect.
Rating: T
Word Count: 14,000 *Y’all idk how this happened, I’m so sorry lol*
Warnings: Some unresolved sexual tension, minor injuries and reader still dealing with a bunch of past trauma. Other than that, this chapter is pretty harmless!
Just a quick mention: Thank you as always to @datmando for inspiring me and giving me so many amazing ideas for this story!! You’ve helped me so much with this story and getting through writer’s block and I freaking love you <3 Thank you as well to @aerynwrites @hdlynnslibrary and @maybege for all being wonderful and I love you all for motivating me to write more Paz!!
Also thank you to @coredrive​ for the beautiful gifs you made!! If anyone wants quality gifs for their stories, masterlists, etc... please go to Kat because she was so freaking lovely and sweet!!
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“Would you like one of my shirts, ner cyare?”
You turn around, coming face to face with an unarmored Paz who is sitting on the foot of the bed, his forearms lazily resting on top of his thighs as he observes the way you hopelessly shift the torn, silky fabric in your hands. You turn to face the culprit who is currently curled up in a white rocky ball close to the furnace in the main area of Paz’s private quarters, seeming completely unbothered and not regretful that she had used your only sleep attire as a chewing toy while you were in the shower and Paz was talking to the armorer.
“That would be nice, thank you,” You murmur softly, watching with a smile as he promptly stands and makes his way over to the dresser near his bed while you discard the torn, silky fabric.
Though a few days have passed since the fight without incident--much to your appreciation--you notice Paz acting differently around you and while it’s not in a bad way by any means, it still has your curiosity growing. You notice how he almost seems worried about letting you stray too far from him, though you’re certain it’s not because he’s concerned one of his own will hurt you again, but perhaps he has the same fears you hold in your very own heart. While you’ve only been with the tribe for three days, you find yourself getting less sleep with every passing day, afraid that when you wake up, you’ll be right back at the village infirmary with your estranged father.
Perhaps he’s anxious that if he lets you out of his sight, you’ll randomly decide to leave without a word or trace.
The thought amuses you and also fills your heart with grief, wondering how the Mandalorian could possibly conjure the thought of you even thinking about leaving the place that had quickly become your safe haven.
“I’m going to shower, if you want to change,” Paz gruffly voices as he approaches you with a thick, black garment and you perk up a little upon feeling how warm it is--how warm it will keep you.
Once the Mandalorian is in the refresher, you’re quick to strip your clothes, smiling softly as you neatly fold the emerald, long-sleeved dress that Ima had found for you in a designated stack of clothes that wasn’t being worn by anyone in the tribe. Once you are only in your shorts, you grab Paz’s black shirt that he must wear over all his padding and sheepishly tug it over your head, instantly relishing in how it smells just like him--all woodsy and spicy and just like the soap he uses. The material is incredibly thick, though it’s not stiff and doesn’t make it feel like you’re suffocating; it feels soft and comforting against your bare skin, engulfing you so warmly just like one of his embraces, though you still long for the intense pressure of his arms around you. The sleeves that usually come to an end just above his elbows now fall just a few inches above your wrists and the hem skims the middle of your thighs.
As you sit on the edge of the bed and get to work on tending to your braids and all the tangles from the hair you had chosen to leave down, you think of how surreal everything still feels and how all the horrors you had ever dreamed about running away from are currently above you in the village. You try your hardest not to think about it, and instead, your mind wanders to the tribe and its intimidating, rambunctious warriors that you’ve been interacting with in the covert for the past few days.
It’s been… an interesting experience, to say the least.
For people who you used to be terrified of until recently, you think it’s somewhat surprising as well as amusing that Paz had been correct when he mentioned them being quite mischievous when it came to you, though you’re certain most of it comes from you being an outsider and not understanding their language. It had already happened a couple times where you would be exploring the enclave, trying to memorize the tunnels and where different ones led, and you would run into a small group of Mandos speaking in their native tongue as you shyly approached them to introduce yourself.
Most of the time they would simply peer down at you while informing you that they already knew who you were--that they had seen you standing your ground against Paz, which apparently nobody in the tribe had ever really done before. It was quite interesting seeing everyone’s perspective towards their heavy-infantry warrior, how they knew him to be one of the strongest in the tribe and how they respected him for it. However, it was also slightly amusing that they seemed to have no problem making jokes at his expense--talking about how they were glad you were at the covert so he would stop being grouchy and angry all the time.
Ima, you found, was the exact same way, although she had no qualms about berating the man she called her uncle to his face.
Seeing the way the teenager and your blue warrior interacted with one another felt like some sort of special phenomenon that you had never really witnessed before--a relationship stronger than that between a sister and a brother, but not quite as profound as one between a daughter and father. You thought uncle and niece was a good way to describe it and though you’re curious as to why Ima doesn’t call anyone else in the tribe ‘brother’ or ‘sister’, you decide it’s better not to ask for the sake of accidentally bringing up a sad memory.
You’re too deep into your thoughts that you don’t notice a hulking figure emerge from the refresher minutes later, a few water droplets dripping down his shoulders and back as he mindlessly observes you combing through your hair with your fingers.
A small cough startles you and you turn your head to gaze at Paz, his helmet slightly tilted to the side as he stares at you through the guise of that unforgiving visor. Your fingers are still threaded in your damp hair, your bare legs dangling off the side of his bed with your sock-clad toes barely skimming the stone floor as you blink owlishly at him, still not used to seeing him expose so much of his skin.
He’s not saying anything and it has you slightly worried--have you done something wrong? 
“Paz, are you okay?”
His bare, broad shoulders tense upwards when you shift on the bed, finally working through a stubborn tangle as you tilt your head at him; you find yourself doing that a lot more lately and you think being surrounded by so many Mandalorians has their little mannerisms rubbing off on you.
You move to get up when he doesn't say anything, now worried that you really have done something wrong, but Paz shakes his head and squashes your worries immediately.
"No--I mean, yes," He huffs and shakes his helmet a little harder when you stand up next to the bed to pull the thick fur away from the pillows it's tucked under while he moves to turn off the lights, "I'm fine, just a little tired, cyare."
You nod your understanding, feeling your own exhaustion creeping up on you, though today had been a relatively easy day in regards to treating scrapes and bruises. You’ve come to find that some of the younger, less trained Mandalorians aren’t exactly the most graceful on their feet, some tripping over their own capes while descending staircases, while others who are less skilled with blades or blasters manage to slip up and injure themselves. It’s definitely not the kind of injuries you’re used to tending--minor ones--but you find it much more pleasant and rewarding than your job in the village, especially when everyone here has treated you politely, for the most part.
You know that even while you had been accepted into the tribe, it doesn’t quite make you part of the family to some, especially to those who still felt as though you should swear the creed to be fully accepted. It was a big detail you had worried about quite a bit, whether or not you would have to swear the creed and wear a helmet just as the rest of them, but you think that perhaps it is a topic you should speak to the armorer about.
You slide underneath the heavy fur and exhale a content sigh, reminding yourself that such worries could wait until morning.
A yawn leaves you just as you hear the quiet hiss of Paz’s helmet being removed before he places it on his nightstand and a tired smile stretches your lips when you feel the mattress dip underneath the weight of the warrior’s body.
Before you can even turn to face him, his huge arm is wrapped around your waist and he’s carefully moving you closer to him; an intense warmth spreads throughout your cheeks when he holds you close, your back pressed firmly against his chest as he wastes no time in placing a kiss to the top of your damp hair. You can feel the heat from his bare chest already spreading throughout your entire body and you curl your legs back to press your feet against his bare ankles.
He lets out a small huff as he curls his fingers into the soft material of his shirt covering your abdomen and leans down to press a tender kiss to your cheek, “You are lucky I love you, or else I would not let you wear socks in our bed.”
The ‘our bed’ comment definitely doesn’t go over your head and you hold back a giggle when he sighs against your warm skin, his thumb stroking firm circles near your belly button, “I cannot help it that my feet are always cold.”
His chest rumbles with a soft laugh as he settles behind you, his hand moving a little lower to your hip, just underneath where your cauterized wound is still healing, and he gives you a gentle squeeze, “I told you that you’d do nothing to warm our bed up, mesh’la, I knew I was right. You’re always freezing.”
“If I recall correctly, you told me that you would not mind keeping me warm,” You remind him of what he had said the night he had told you his name, your cheeks growing hot when you feel his lips against the outer shell of your ear, “And you are doing no such thing, ori kebiin.”
“You are a funny woman,” Paz is still trying not to laugh as his hand comes up to cup your jaw, long fingers splayed widely against your burning cheeks, “You feel plenty warm to me, sweetheart.”
Realizing that there’s no way of beating the Mandalorian at his own game, you give up and simply shuffle your curled toes between his calves, making him grunt a little when he feels the blocks of ice that are your sock-clad feet through the material of his sleep pants. He cups your jaw and urges your head to the side a little, using his thumb that’s pressed to the corner of your lips to seek them out with his own.
This close intimacy is certainly another thing you’ve noticed since you forgave him after the fight--him wanting to kiss and touch you whenever it’s just the two of you. It’s definitely something you don’t mind, you realize as his tongue firmly swipes across your bottom lip, and you find yourself growing more comfortable and relaxed when it comes to accepting little touches from him. You can tell that it’s something he’s nervous about when you two are just laying in his bed, wide awake when sleep refuses to wrap itself around the two of you--that he’s worried something he does will set you off.
He always tries to keep his touches to your thighs and hips feather-light after politely asking if it’s okay for him to touch you there and a part of you wonders if he’s already concluded that you’re simply not used to people asking you for consent when it comes to certain things.
Even if it’s not the reason why, you’re still grateful he always asks and his consideration fills your heart with warmth whenever he seems so hellbent on making sure you’re comfortable when you two find yourself in these sort of intimate settings. It doesn’t necessarily feel like it’s him testing your boundaries, but more so him seeing what you like and what gets certain noises out of you, though you find your skin quite sensitive to every nip and lick he inflicts on you.
A part of you is grateful that he usually lies on his back when the two of you are holding one another, as the thought of being pinned underneath anyone again, even your blue warrior, lingers like a storm cloud in the back of your mind.
Currently, however, you focus on the way his fingers tentatively curl around your thigh, just below the hem of the shirt he had given you and your lashes flutter as he guides your head back a little so he has more access to your throat. He seems a little more eager tonight, you think, and as his fingers curl into the thick fabric at your thighs while he dutifully presses tender kisses to your sensitive skin, you start to slowly put the pieces together.
“Paz?” His name comes out in the form of a breathy whisper as he settles back to press a kiss into your damp hair.
He still seems slightly dazed as he brings his arm back to curl tightly around your waist, “Hm?”
“Earlier, when you were staring at me when you came out of the shower,” You grin a little when you feel the way his arms tense around your middle, “Was it… is it because I’m wearing your shirt?”
Paz huffs an amused noise and you’re certain you’ve left him flustered for once as he slowly shifts his body until he’s able to rest his chin against the slope of your neck, “I like the way you look in anything, cyare, but something about seeing you wearing my clothes--it does things to me. I can’t say that I am upset that your vulptex tore up your nightgown, not with how beautiful you look right now.”
“You can’t even see me right now, silly man.”
“I don’t need to,” He mumbles, his beard scratching your sensitive skin as he lazily tends to all the little marks he left behind with his lips and teeth the previous night, “I remember everything about you, ner cyare, like how your eyes always get big whenever you see me taking off my armor and my clothes. Perhaps my sweet little nurse isn’t as innocent as I thought.”
You nearly let out with a whimper when you feel his tongue on your skin, your cheeks burning furiously as his hand cautiously grazes up your thigh, “Is this okay?”
His tepid breath fanning along the column of your throat makes you shiver a little and your voice cracks a little when you speak, “Y-Yeah.”
“Yeah?” He repeats with a soft sigh, his hand moving past the little shorts you typically wear to bed and up to your bare hip, just underneath where your blaster wound is still tender, though not nearly causing you as much pain, “Stars, your skin is so damn soft and your hair smells good--just like those flowers you’re always wearing.”
You let your eyes close as he continues to explore your stomach with feather-like strokes, seeming content to simply warm you with his large hand and you feel your thighs clench together firmly when he rubs a sensitive spot just underneath your belly button. His hands are leaving a scorching blaze in their wake and you feel a deep shudder wrack your body upon feeling the wet, open-mouthed kisses he’s leaving just underneath your earlobe. 
Despite the ache between your thighs, you jump when his fingertips barely graze just above the hem of your shorts and he immediately freezes upon feeling the tension in your body.
“I’m sorry,” Your ears grow hot with shame and you think he must be frustrated with you for not feeling ready to be intimate on this kind of level yet, “I just--”
“Hey, don’t you dare ever apologize for knowing when you’re not ready,” He whispers, moving his lips away from your jaw and removing his hand from underneath the shirt he let you borrow, “I shouldn’t have done that--I should have asked first.”
“It’s okay,” You weakly reassure him, smiling softly when he politely fixes your shirt, dragging the hem back down your thighs, “I... I want to be with you like that and I thought I was ready but I... I don’t know.”
“You do not owe me an explanation. I would never pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do,” Paz promises in a rushed tone as he moves to unlatch his arm from around you, though you are quick to stop him, “I am sorry if I was too forward, cyare. I want you to only ever feel comfortable around me and if I ever do or say anything that you don’t like, please tell me, okay? I’ll never be mad at you.”
“I love you, Paz.”
He relaxes against you and presses another tender kiss into the hair above the tip of your ear, “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, ner cyare.”
You smile into the darkness at the warmth his words bring you, though you can’t help but to feel doubt towards yourself and you turn your head a little over your shoulder until his warm breath fans across the plane of your cheek. Even though you can’t see him in the slightest, you like to imagine his eyes scanning your face thoughtfully--curiously--and you hear him let out an inquisitive hum when you murmur his name.
“I haven’t been able to sleep the last couple of days,” You admit softly, placing your hand on top of the much larger one that’s resting just under your sternum, “I’m scared that every night here is going to be my last one--that someone isn’t going to want me here because I haven’t sworn to the creed and that I don’t wear a helmet or armor.”
Paz exhales softly and you close your eyes when his minty breath tickles your nostrils, “Our alor already knows that you were to be brought to the tribe to be our nurse, not a fighter. I made it clear to everyone that you would not have to wear our armor and if anyone has a problem with it, they can take it up with me or the armorer. You’re not going anywhere… not if you don’t want to.”
You detect the way his voice lowers into a much more sheepish, subdued tone upon whispering the last part and your suspicions from earlier are proved correct.
He’s afraid that you’re going to change your mind about staying with the tribe.
In an attempt to squash his own fears and insecurities, you wrap your fingers around his wrist and urge his arm up past your chest until you are able to lean your head down a little and kiss his calloused knuckles tenderly. He lets out a content sigh as you let him splay his fingers out widely against the swell of your breast, your heart pounding frantically against his palm while his thumb studies your firm pulse at the base of your neck.
“I just want to be wherever you are, Paz,” You murmur, your lips stretching into a smile when he tenderly kisses your cheek again.
“I feel the same way about you,” He sighs, finally relaxing completely as you keep his hand cradled to your chest, “Anything else you’re losing sleep over, cyare?”
For a moment it sounds like he’s teasing you, but something about the rawness and sincerity of his voice makes you think differently and you swallow the lump in your throat as you think of the little boy from the nursery--the one that had clung onto your leg and hugged you. Though a part of you wants to ask Paz more about how he was found and what happened to his parents, you think it best not to ask and shake your head a little bit.
It is none of your business.
“Try to get some rest,” Paz murmurs against your cheek, his beard scratching your sensitive skin, “I’ll make sure to wake you up if you have any nightmares.”
You murmur a tired ‘thank you’ and let your eyes slip shut, feeling reassured by his words and the feathery press of his lips against the tail of your brow, along with the way his thumb continues to rest atop your pulse point at the bottom of your neck.
For once, you sleep restfully--not necessarily dreaming of much, but not really having any nightmares either. You’re stuck in a strange limbo for the rest of the night and at one point, you feel Paz stroking your brow in an effort to calm you down upon feeling your body jolt when you wake from a strange dream that has you crying out.
As you fall back asleep underneath the comforting guidance of his hands and sweet whispers against the shell of your ear, you briefly wonder if the heavy-infantry warrior ever sleeps.
The next morning when you wake up and tiredly crack your eyes open, Paz is already fumbling around the little kitchenette, his helmet and underclothes now on and you prop yourself up on an elbow as you watch him set a wooden bowl down in front of your excited vulptex. The dish is filled with colorful fruit and chunks of meat and you think it must be the best meal she’s had since she was born, what with her dramatic reaction. She lets out long, happy little squeaks between bites and you think you hear something reminiscent of a laugh or a chuckle from Paz’s vocoder when he reaches out to graze a bare hand along her rocky spine.
“And here I thought you hated her,” You murmur with a yawn, stretching your arms above your head before gracelessly rolling out of bed, the room dimly lit as you make your way over to your beloved companions, “You and everyone else are always calling her a runt.”
Paz snorts and shakes his head a little, tilting his head a little as he hands you a bowl of fruit that has some yogurt underneath, “She is a runt, saviin--doesn’t mean I hate her for it. Besides, she tried to bite Djarin in the leg yesterday, so I guess she’s starting to grow on me.”
You huff a little at that as you savor the fresh berries, your taste buds still not used to such sweet food, and you shake your head at your Mandalorian, “You better not be training my sweet vulptex to attack others, Paz.”
“I would do no such thing,” Paz still sounds a little smug as he begins to put on all of his thick padding and heavy armor, “I’d only train her how to attack the bounty hunter.”
You roll your eyes and watch as he puts his armor on piece by piece, the same way he’s done it every morning for the last couple of days he’s been here. It must be a routine for him, you think as you watch him clip his pauldrons in place and work his way down his body; you find the whole process to be mesmerizing and you wonder if he’s been doing this every single day for nearly his entire life.
“I can feel you staring at me, cyare.”
You feel your cheeks warm up when you promptly turn your attention to the breakfast that Paz had kindly made for you, though you had insisted the previous mornings that you didn’t expect him to do this for you. Your heart warms when you remember how he had admitted that it made him happy to see you enjoy little basic necessities that you had been robbed of nearly your entire life and you stopped arguing after that.
Though it was only yogurt and fruit, you still felt like the most spoiled woman in the galaxy.
After completing your usual morning routine, along with braiding the top half of your hair around the crown of your head, you pick out your clothes for the day and scoop your needy little vulptex into the crook of your elbow, her favorite resting place, it seems.
“What am I going to do when she gets too big and I can’t carry her like this?”
Paz snorts as you wait for him to snap his gauntlets into place around his black, leather gloves, “If you didn’t spoil her so much and carry her around all the time, this wouldn’t be a problem, cyare.”
You pout a little at that, struggling not to smile when he gives your earlobe a playful tug once he’s finished with his big gauntlets, “Her leg is still sore--would you really be so heartless to make her walk around the covert?”
“She seemed to have no problem limping around until you showed up and started carrying her all over the place.”
Not having a solid rebuttal to the playful words, you simply shake your head and watch as he checks all the big pouches attached to his utility belt. Your eyes immediately land on the vibroblade sheathed at his hip and you let out a shaky sigh when you remember the Trandoshan, though Paz seems to notice the change in your attitude and shields that side of his body from you.
“C’mon cyare, we have a long day.”
Following close behind Paz, the two of you make your way out of his private quarters and down the tunnels where others are starting to trickle out of their rooms as well. You’ve come to find that with the exception of a few Mandos, the tribe tends to stick to a pretty strict routine of going to bed at a certain time and waking up earlier, though you find this to work out quite nicely for you. Whereas once you were getting two or three hours of sleep a night, along with maybe a thirty minute nap on your break, you now have the entire night to rest, even if you don’t always get the best sleep.
Perhaps he’s worried that you’ll get lost, even though you memorized the directions to your little office on the second day of being at the covert, but you allow Paz to guide you there anyways, grateful for his company when you know you won’t see him until tonight. Though you feel slightly sad upon making it to your destination, you’re somewhat anxious and eager to see what today brings you and who you might meet.
With a gentle kiss of his Beskar forehead against yours, you and the heavy-infantry warrior part ways for the day and you contentedly enter the little office that you had managed to clean up pretty well since your arrival. As you enter the little alcove, something feels off and you quickly detect the sounds of soft hums and discontented grunts. 
You freeze upon finding out that you are not the only one occupying the room and your brows shoot up at the strange spectacle taking place in front of you.
In front of your desk, where you had placed a small pot of violets that you’d taken from the room Paz and Ima had decorated for you, is an unarmored Mandalorian who’s currently inspecting something you wrote down on a little notepad the previous day. Though the Mando is wearing a light grey helmet with chipped away emeral trimmings around the visor and cheeks, you think they must be one of the elders in the tribe, what with their hunched over form, wavering hands, and the long staff they wield.
You don’t miss the sharp, pointed tip of the walking stick that is made from what you’re certain is Beskar and you make sure to approach slowly, not wanting to frighten the Mandalorian, though the thought of you startling a warrior is slightly amusing to you.
They’re humming something that you can barely make out through their modulator and your lips instantly stretch into a faint grin when you realize they’re reading the little list you had started of all the Mandalorians you had met in the tribe so far, along with the colors of their armor and their names to help you memorize the people who are supposed to be your new family. You watch with curiosity as the unarmored Mandalorian grabs one of your pens from the little cup next to your notepad, leaning down to try to scribble something down, though they seem to grow frustrated with how shaky their hands are.
You decide to step in when you hear a disgruntled voice uttering curse words under their breath that you’ve never even heard Paz say before and your cheeks grow warm.
“Hello, may I help you?”
Immediately, the Mandalorian whips around with a small gasp, making you jump as well and you hastily take a few steps backwards when they turn around to face you, their hand pressed tight to where their heart must be frantically pounding, just like yours currently is. Your eyes are wide, hands nervously clutched together as the Mandalorian tilts their faded, scuffed up helmet to the side while observing you closely. Though you think they must be elderly, they stand about only one or two inches taller than you and you’re finally grateful to meet someone who isn’t terrifyingly large or as tiny as one of the younglings.
“You cannot sneak up on me like that!” He lightly admonishes in a deep, gruff voice, still holding his bare, wrinkled hand over his heart, “I am not nearly as alert as I used to be, but it doesn’t mean I can’t deal out some damage still.”
He lifts the staff to show you the pointed, steel bottom of it and you immediately nod your understanding, bowing your head a little, “Of course, I am so sorry! I wasn’t sure if you were hurt or not and I just thought…”
You bite your bottom lip nervously--what were you even thinking?
“Ah, I see,” He seems to relax then, pulling out the chair in front of your desk and sinking down into it with a pained grunt while you continue to wring your fingers together in an anxious manner, “So you must be my replacement--the nurse Paz insisted on bringing to the tribe.”
Maker, did your Mandalorian actually tell the entire damn tribe about you?
Your leg bounces as soon as you take a seat at the end of the medical cot and you brush a few unruly hairs from your forehead before speaking to the elderly man, “I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a replacement, sir. I’m sure I could never be as good of a medic as you are for your people. I’m just here to help out as much as I can.”
He chuckles and shakes his helmet at your humbled statement, propping his steel cane against his thigh and you feel a twinge of sadness deep within your soul as he stares down at his trembling hands. You notice his right hand is trembling more than the left and you think that must be his dominant hand--the one he would typically use for certain medical procedures--and you remember what Paz had mentioned about the tribe’s medic growing too ill and shaky to actually help others.
‘No wonder why the office was so dusty and everything was unused,’ you think to yourself sorrowfully, your eyes taking in all the big dents and scuff marks on his gray and crimson helmet.
“Hey, don’t give me those sad eyes, little one,” He admonishes you again and though you don’t remember having any kind of grandparent in your life, you think being scolded by this man must be what it feels like to have one, “I was told by Paz that you are a tough one--a warrior, just like us.”
You offer him a wry smile, “I suppose he didn’t tell you that I tend to cry quite a bit as well?”
“Oh, he definitely mentioned that,” The Mandalorian chortles and you can’t help but to grin at that, immediately feeling better at how playful he sounds, “I was hoping he was messing around with me--our people aren’t exactly the best with tears and emotions, but I suppose it is not a bad thing. During times like these, the tribe could use a little more happiness and vulnerability.”
You contemplate his words deeply, thinking of the few times Paz had informed you that because of the Empire, his people were nearly extinct and you wonder how this stranger could so easily accept you into the tribe without really knowing you. Seeing how worn out and damaged his dented helmet is, you can’t help but to wonder what he’s been through and though he seems to be more of an eccentric member of the tribe, you’re certain he’s been through hell and back.
“If you do not mind me asking--” You offer him a fond gaze, your smile growing when he tilts his helmet dramatically to the side, his Beskar cheek nearly touching his shoulder, “May I have your name? I am trying to learn who everyone is, but the visors are all the same and sometimes the color of armor is similar and--”
“I get it,” The older man sounds like he’s amused and you briefly wonder if he was once an outsider like you, though you find it rude to ask, “I was about to write it in your little notebook, but I fear my hands are too unsteady for you to understand my writing, little one.”
You perk up and quickly stand up, making your way over to where he’s sitting before you crouch down in front of your desk and grab one of the several pens in the little cup near your notebook. The Mandalorian makes a funny noise as you give him an inquisitive glance, wordlessly asking for his name with a quirk of your brow and though he wears a typical Mandalorian helmet, you think he must be grinning underneath his Beskar guise.
“Ezir Ralas.”
You somehow manage to write down his name as fast as he spells it out for you and you grin at how demanding he sounds upon spelling every single letter out and how he describes the exact colors of his faded helmet. There’s something about his lighthearted tone that makes you think he’s not as intimidating as every other warrior you’ve encountered since being brought to the covert.
“Well, it is lovely to meet you, sir,” You beam at him as you make your way back to the medical cot to sit on while you wait for your first patient of the day, “Have you been the tribe’s nurse for very long?”
He chuckles again, long fingers curling against his knees, “Oh yes, I’ve been with the tribe since we were forced into hiding years ago. Before all of this, however, I was a field medic for my people on Mandalore, back during our civil war.”
“Oh, I um, I had no idea there was a civil war,” You frown at this new information, briefly wondering if Paz knows about this, though you think he must, “That must have been so scary to be out there on a battlefield, trying to save your own people.”
He lets out a small grunt as he leans forward to rest his forearms atop his thighs, “Even though I am a medic, I was also born and raised a fighter, little one. Though the things I have seen haunt me at night when I cannot sleep, I would not so willingly admit that I was ever afraid.”
You slowly nod and gaze down at the steel pendant that hangs between his collarbones and you recognize it as the one you often see around the covert, or in the morning when Paz tucks his own into the collar of his tunic. Seeming to recognize your curiosity towards the skull sigil, he unties the knot at his nape and holds out the necklace for you to inspect up close.
With great eagerness, you reach forward to accept the kind gesture, “Is it rude of me to ask what this is?”
“It is not rude,” Ezir sounds amused by your curiosity and your cheeks grow warm as you trace over the sharp horns protruding from the cheeks of the skull with your thumbs, “It is the skull of a beast that was once native to Mandalore--the mythosaur. They were these enormous monsters with teeth and horns sharper than a sword made of Beskar and when they tried to attack my ancestors, we either slayed them or conquered them and rode them as transportation.”
“How big were they?”
“Massive,” He flippantly waves a hand in the air, appearing far too nonchalant while speaking of terrifying beasts, “Well, I would imagine they’re the size of the village currently above us, little one.”
Your eyes grow wide and a chuckle escapes past his modulator at how incredulous you sound, “And you’re ancestors fought them?”
“Without hesitation,” He informs you and though the image of a monster so fearsome and enormous terrifies you, it also fills you with feelings of reverence and awe, “After the beasts went extinct, the mythosaur skull became a symbol of our people and all that we had overcome; it is a symbol of our history and culture.”
You hum quietly, barely noticing the way his tilted visor is trained on the way you tenderly trace all the curves and divots of the pendant with admiration, a smile tugging at your lips as you think of the symbolism behind the sigil. Suddenly, you understand why people have always murmured terrifying rumors of the Beskar-clad enigmas and you think it must be true that they’re the strongest warriors in the galaxy. You wonder what it must feel like to exude such power to the point where people fear you without even knowing who you are and though you still regret feeling so much terror upon initially meeting Paz, you’re suddenly grateful that you’d eventually let him into your heart.
“Perhaps one day, you will have one of your own,” Ezir concedes and your head snaps up to peer at him with shock; you hand the pendant back out for him to take, feeling undeserving to be holding something so precious to his people, “Oh, don’t give me that look. You may not wear our helmet or armor, but once I teach you some Mando’a and get a weapon in your hand, you’ll be a fearsome warrior.”
You think of what Paz had mentioned about the others in the tribe teaching you Mando’a, and while you’ve only known him for a few minutes, he seems to be a respectful man, albeit a little quirky.
“What does riduur mean?” You blurt out, your skin instantly growing warm when you see Ezir’s shoulders shaking as he laughs at the innocent question; suddenly, you fear that everyone has been saying something demeaning about you, “I just... everyone in the tribe keeps calling me ‘Paz’s riduur’ and I--it’s not an insult, right? They’re always laughing when they say it.”
He shakes his head as his laughter eventually ceases, “No, little one, it is quite the opposite of an insult, but rather a term of endearment. I do not think it is my place to tell you what it means and I am not sure if Paz has the guts to actually tell you, but I can say that I am certain you will find out for yourself one day when he calls you that himself.”
Your leg bounces anxiously as you watch him situate his mythosaur pendant between his collarbones and as you think of all the meanings that the word possibly possesses, one stands out to you the most.
“Is it something I would be allowed to say to him as well in the future?”
“Yes,” He reaches down to pet your vulptex that’s awkwardly making her way towards his boots, sounding utterly entertained by your inquiry, “Though I cannot promise you that his brain wouldn’t combust if he heard you call him that.”
“Then perhaps I would call him that as payback for all the times he’s teased me about certain things.”
Ezir guffaws at that, remaining diligent in petting the lazy vulptex that’s headbutting his calf in a needy manner, “I like you, little one. I almost didn’t believe Ima when she told me you had stopped the fight between Din and Paz, let alone when she informed me that you had stood up for yourself and the bounty hunter.”
You watch as the older man awkwardly scoops the little vulptex into his arms and you’re grateful that not many seem to mind her presence in the covert, as you’re not sure what you would have done had you been forced to get rid of her.
“I have been belittled by men all my life,” You shyly admit, staring at the little creature that’s reaching up in an attempt to bite his pendant, though Ezir doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest as you continue, “And for the longest time, I just learned to keep my mouth shut and deal with it because that’s just the way I was raised, I suppose. These last couple of days have taught me that it does not make me a bad person for only wanting to be treated with respect and my only regret is that I did not realize this sooner in life. Perhaps I’d be a stronger woman if I had realized my worth at a younger age.”
No longer is Ezir petting the vulptex, but instead, he now has his visor trained on you and in return, you offer him a small smile. He remains deathly silent for at least a minute before giving you a curt nod, as though he approves of either you or just your declaration in general.
“In our language, we have a word that I think perfectly describes you, little one,” His gruff, filtered voice drops to something softer as he watches you perk up with curiosity, “Ramikadyc--it means that you have the tenacity and determination of a Mandalorian, that you have our mindset.”
Your heart instantly swells with gratitude and you shyly cross your ankles together as you wring your fingers together on top of your lap, “I would hardly compare myself to your people. I do not think I would have the tenacity or determination to fight against one of those mythosaurs that your ancestors slayed.”
“Something tells me you and I are not too different,” Ezir informs you with what you think is mirth laced within his deep voice, “I do not think you would hesitate to put yourself in harm’s way if it meant protecting someone you care for or someone you do not wish to see to get hurt.”
You smile softly and give him a slight nod as you think of the bounty hunter that you had stood up for, despite him not deserving it, or even your little vulptex that you had taken a blaster shot for. If Ezir truly thinks that you have the heart of a warrior, then he must be saying it for a good reason and his words, along with Ima’s and Paz’s confidence in you, fills you with a little more hope in regards to your future with the tribe.
“Will you tell me more about you?”
“I am afraid my stories might bore you to the point of insanity,” Ezir chuckles, shifting in his seat a little so he can hold your vulptex in a more comfortable position, “But since you seem so curious, what is it you wish to know, little one?”
“Can you tell me more about Mandalore and the civil--?”
Before you can finish, a deep baritone from the entrance of your office interrupts your inquiry and both you and Ezir immediately turn around to find your blue Mandalorian standing tall behind another unarmored Mando, though this one is still taller than you and Ezir. The smaller Mando is holding their wrist protectively against their chest and it takes a few seconds for you to recognize the warrior as one of the younger ones that seems to have a knack for constantly getting hurt during training.
“Saviin’ika,” Paz greets politely with a slight nod, cocking his helmet to the side upon noticing who’s been keeping you company in the short amount of time you two have been apart, “Ezir.”
You raise your brows at the way your warrior tenses up a little upon seeing the elderly man, though you manage to get in a word before any of the Mandalorians can say anything, your attention focused on the injured boy.
“Is your wrist hurt?”
The unarmored Mando peers up at Paz with what you think must be a wary expression through his visor--something that your warrior immediately picks up on. With absolutely no hesitation, the heavy-infantry warrior murmurs something to the younger Mando in his native tongue and you raise your head with anticipation and a kind smile. As though that’s all the confirmation of the young teenager--Vhan--needs, he nods a little and you slide off the end of the cot so your first patient of the day can sit down.
You give the boy a small, encouraging smile as he takes his glove off and pushes up his sleeve to reveal a swollen wrist, “What happened?”
“It was my fault,” Paz says immediately, making you raise your brows in surprise at the thought of him somehow hurting someone so young, “He was sparring with his brother and I looked away for a minute. He fell and landed right on his wrist.”
You frown a little at the guilt in his voice, though judging by the exasperated sigh that wafts past Vhan’s modulator, you think this must be a common occurrence amongst the younger ones who get hurt on Paz’s watch.
“Well, it’s hard to tell for sure without x-rays,” You manage to rotate Vhan’s wrist in the slightest, a gesture that seems to cause minimal pain to the boy, “But it looks like it’s just a minor sprain, since there seems to be no crooked bones and you can still move it around a little. Nothing too serious and nothing to feel bad about.”
Paz lets out a relieved huff at the news, though you know your blue warrior enough to know he’s not going to let the guilt down so easily, especially not when it pertains to one of the younger members of the tribe. A knowing grin stretches your lips when Vhan groans, and now you’re certain this isn’t the first time Paz has been worried like a mother hen over the clumsy teen. Though the blue warrior has quite the reputation among all the adults in the covert, it seems he also has a completely different persona when he’s with the younger ones.
“See? I told you it’s fine. Can I go back to training now?” Vhan insists, moving to hop off of the cot, though you are quicker to stop him by placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Uh uh,” You shake your head, earning another groan from the teen and what you’re sure are surprised expressions from the two other men occupying the room, “Just because it’s a sprain doesn’t mean you can go running off just to damage it even further. You should at least rest it for forty-eight hours and put some ice on it every thirty minutes for two hours until the pain goes away. Also try to keep it elevated as much as possible.”
“That’s so much work for a little sprain though!” Vhan argues and you let out a soft sigh as you begin to compress his wrist with a thick bandage, “Can’t I just--”
“Hey!” Ezir suddenly sounds annoyed, and you’re surprised when the boy tenses up a little, just as Paz had earlier, and something about their reactions has you growing even more curious to what kind of reputation the elder has among his family, “Listen to the nurse, di’kut. She only wants what’s best for you.”
“Yes sir,” Vhan mumbles, though you can tell he’s still not happy about it when he turns his visor to you, “S-Sorry, Saviin’ika.”
You blink your surprise at him calling you the familiar nickname, but eventually you give him a kind smile and stand up to retrieve your roll of ice wraps, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure it must be difficult for you to miss out on training, but it really is for your own good. I don’t have the resources here to fix your wrist if it was seriously broken, so it’s detrimental to make sure that the sprain heals properly before doing any serious training again. Perhaps there is… um, maybe something else you can do in the meantime that’s not too strenuous?”
He perks up a little and hope instantly flares in your chest as he gives you an eager nod before turning to look at Paz, “You told me the other day that you would show me how to take apart an assault rifle and put it back together--would that be okay?”
Paz glances at you and the boy’s eager tone makes it hard for you to say no, so you give your warrior a reluctant nod as you finish tying the ice wrap around his swollen wrist, “Just as long as you make sure to not move your wrist around too much and keep the ice wrap on, okay?”
“Alright!” He’s instantly hopping off the cot and you chuckle at his newfound excitement, “Thanks vod’ika!”
You huff a little, opening your mouth to stubbornly remind him that you’re far older than him, though he cuts you off with a quick headbutt to your forehead; while it’s not too harsh of a harsh gesture, it’s certainly not as gentle as all the times Paz has performed the same action. You rub your tender forehead as Paz turns to the side a little so Vhan can make his way, presumably, to the armory. Paz shakes his helmet in an exasperated manner as he steps toward you, most likely to get a look at your forehead, but Ezir’s small grunts as he slowly stands up has your full attention.
Instinctively, you move to help the elder up from your office chair, noticing his slight struggle to stand and you force yourself not to cringe at the numerous pops and cracks coming from his knees and back. After a lifetime of fighting and being a medic, you’re certain it’s taken a toll on him, though he simply chuckles a little and pats your back as you both make your way over to Paz.
“I suppose I should take this as my sign to leave you to your duties for the day, verd’ika,” You beam at the new nickname as he carefully grabs onto your elbow for better balance while you lead him to the entrance where Paz is still standing with a cocked helmet, “I’ll have to look for my old medical books and datapads for you to read.”
“Oh, thank you!” Happiness and warmth instantly blankets your heart at his consideration, gratitude filling your soul when you realize that he seems to approve of you being the tribe’s new nurse, “I would love that very much, if it’s not too much of a hassle.”
“Of course not,” He gives your hand a little pat before latching onto a grumpy Paz’s elbow instead, “I’ll just make this one help me later since he can reach the higher shelves.”
“I have other things to--”
Jutting a thumb out in your direction over his shoulder, Ezir sends a rough little whack! of his walking stick to Paz’s armored shin, “It is good she is here with the tribe now--perhaps she can teach you and everyone else some manners, you big brute.”
“Yeah, ori kebiin,” You giggle in a teasing manner, earning a small grunt from the blue warrior, “Would it really kill you to learn a few manners?”
Ezir lets out a loud laugh that has Paz shaking his helmet at you, and though you know you’ll soon regret it, you think it’s worth the delightful torment he’ll inflict on you later when the two of you are alone. Without another word, Paz reaches out to give your nape a tender squeeze before leaving you alone to your thoughts in your little office, though you think that seeing Ezir and helping Vhan has already given you a bright start to your day.
With a faint smile stretched along your lips, you add a few comments to your little notepad and take inventory of the supplies you have and what you need for the next time Paz goes on a supply run. For the most part, the day goes by slowly and uneventfully--something you are actually grateful for, what with being so used to the chaos that came as a result of working in a village full of crime and those with cruel hearts.
Needless to say, you don’t mind a calm day in the slightest and when Ima passes your office hours later to politely inform you that training and sparring lessons are done for the day, you’re grateful that no serious injuries were sustained. Packing up your things and making sure your office is in order, you turn off the lights and exit your office, eager to explore the covert a little more and go to the room that Paz and Ima had decorated for you.
After conversing with a few of the Mandalorians you had befriended in the short amount of time you’ve been at the covert, you happily make your way down the stairs that you know leads to everyone’s private quarters, as well as the nursery and your little flower alcove.
You hum a mindless tune to yourself as you stroll down the long tunnel, smiling when the atmosphere gets a little warmer when you pass the shielded alcove that leads into the nursery; your walking slows a little and you’re half tempted to go inside and say hi to the little ones, though you don’t want to cause any chaos again, especially so late in the day. Reluctantly, you continue past the nursery and make your way to the little room Paz and Ima had decorated with your flowers, your vulptex resting comfortably in your arms as you two seek out relaxation.
“I need to think of a name for you, little one,” You murmur, earning a soft gaze from her, crimson eyes slowly blinking up at you, “Maybe I should ask one of the younglings to come up with one. They must be far more creative than me.”
She simply answers you with a dramatic huff as you continue down the path that Paz had already taken you down a few times.
You’re completely oblivious to the little footsteps following you far behind.
Finally, you make it to your beloved sanctuary and let out a relieved sigh upon seeing all your growing flowers and the lights that hang above them. Placing your little vulptex on the center of the desk where you had placed a little pillow for her, you dutifully water the plants and flowers that look like they need it the most. It’s comforting to have a little place of your own, especially after dealing with so many of the boisterous warriors all day and while you feel as though you’re slowly getting used to their antics, you realize you truly had no idea what you were getting yourself into upon agreeing to be the tribe’s nurse.
A small smile quirks at the corners of your lips as you feel the tiniest ache in your temple where the younger Mandalorian had headbutted his gratitude a little too roughly earlier, though warmth fills your heart when you remember how he had referred to you as his sister.
You’re in the middle of checking on your little violets when your vulptex raises her head in a jolting manner; immediately, you turn around, expecting Paz or perhaps Ima needing you to tend to someone’s wound.
It is neither one of them, you realize with surprise.
You let out a little gasp upon seeing a pair of wide, fearful eyes poking from the tiny crack between the curtains and the doorway and you instantly recognize the sad, golden brown orbs from days ago in the nursery.
“Oh, it’s okay, little one!” You give him a warm smile that instantly seems to allay some of the despair in his big eyes, “You may come in, if you’d like.”
Hesitantly, he makes his way into the unfamiliar room, looking like a lost animal that’s experiencing a new environment for the first time and you think you know the feeling all too well; even after spending a few days at the covert, you still feel quite lost and you can’t possibly imagine what this child is going through.
You blink your surprise when he gets halfway across the room before spotting your lazy vulptex who is still curled up on your desk, staring at the boy curiously, though not unkindly in the slightest. Carefully, you make your way closer to the little who simply stares up at you with wide starry eyes, his hands clasped together politely in front of him and your heart melts at how nervous and scared he seems.
“It’s okay, little one,” You reassure him in a calm, hushed tone, reaching your hand out for him to take, “She loves younglings very much and would never hurt you, I promise.”
The curly-haired boy shifts his gaze between you and your rocky companion before ultimate latching onto your hand with his. Cautiously and without any force, you guide him closer to your desk where the vulptex is still observing the little boy with gentle eyes; you think that on top of being intelligent, her species must also be quite empathetic and can differentiate a kind soul from a dark one.
“Is it okay if I pick you up?” You question the boy softly, earning you a shy nod as an answer, and you carefully haul him up to the chair in front of your desk, keeping a hand pressed to the back of his shoulders to keep him steady, should he stumble, “If you want to hold your hand out to sniff it, it’ll be a sign that you want to be her friend.”
His eyes widen a little more and you can’t help but to grin as he holds a shaking hand out for the rocky vulpine to sniff eagerly, his other hand pressed shyly to his cheek in anticipation. A tiny, childish giggle meets your ears and warms your heart as the vulptex licks his palm, though he is quick to pull his damp hand back and wipe it on his beige tunic with a scrunched up expression. When he smiles up at you, you’re certain your heart is going to melt into a big puddle of goo in the pit of your stomach and you offer him one in return, smoothing his dark, unruly curls away from his forehead.
“See? She knows you’re brave and likes you now.”
He gives you a toothy grin and you feel a lovely warmth in your soul knowing that you were able to provide some emotional reprieve for the sweet child.
“Did you sneak away from the nursery, little one?” You ask him gently, not wanting him to think you’re upset with him at all; he simply drops his head in shame and you continue to stroke his curls in an attempt to comfort him, “It’s okay! You’re not in trouble, I promise. I just want to know why.”
For a moment, you don’t think he’s going to answer as he keeps his head lowered, but then he eventually peers up at you and whispers his response in a tiny, meek voice.
“Y-You were singing,” He explains quietly, and you realize he must have heard you humming and followed you all the way here, “‘M sorry.”
“Hey, no, none of that,” You crouch down in front of him so he’s taller than you while he stands on your chair and you give him a kind smile, “It’s okay, but how about next time you just ask the caretaker on duty, alright? They’ll come find me, wherever I may be.”
He gives you a shy nod, seeming thoughtful for a few moments as he presses a chubby index finger to his pouting lips, “Do I have to go back?”
You should say yes and you know it, but his eyes are all but pleading with you to say no and he looks so hopeful that you’ll let him keep you company. You think he must feel just as out of place as you do, not knowing who to talk to or who to trust, though you seem to be the one person he finds solace in.
How could you destroy that tiny amount of trust he already has in you?
You give him a tiny smile and shake your head, “You may stay for a little while, but I fear I do not make for the most exciting company, little one.”
The boy doesn’t say anything to that and you blink your surprise when he reaches out to clumsily touch the thick braid wrapped around your crown, along with the few flowers that you had strategically placed throughout the weaves that morning when Paz had been watching you. He seems curious by the vibrant flora, his eyes blinking and flickering with awe and you bow your head a little so he can get a better look at them.
“Do you like flowers?” You ask him quietly when he eventually ceases his exploration, and you look up to see him giving you a shy little nod, “What’s your favorite kind?”
You expect him to not know many, especially if he’s spent his few years of life on Nevarro, though he surprises you when he speaks in a barely there whisper, “I like roses--like the ones my ‘gramma used to paint.”
You’re desperately inclined to ask more about his grandmother--if he had any parents and what planet he had been saved from, but if he’s the covert’s newest foundling, the wounds on his heart and mind must still be so fresh and you do not wish to infect it further with your invasive questions. Instead, you force yourself to give him a warm, big smile and somehow manage to keep the tears out of your eyes when his chubby fingers find the little blue flower that Paz had tucked behind your ear earlier in the morning.
“Yeah? I bet they were beautiful,” You grin and he gives you a fervent little nod to confirm your thoughts, “What color roses did she paint?”
And what you thought was only going to be a ten or twenty minute interaction with the boy ends up to be more than an hour and a half long meeting where the two of you talk about harmless topics like flowers, favorite animals, different types of stars and constellations. Though for once, you do most of the talking and you are more than satisfied to describe the beautiful hot springs and caves that Paz had taken you to, sparing all the mushy details that you knew would probably gross out a child.
“He’s scary,” The boy murmurs as you tell him of the story, at least the clean version, of how Paz had stood up for you the night you first found your vulptex, “They all are--they don’t smile.”
“Well of course they do,” You inform the little one, curling a finger against his cheek and earning a tiny giggle, “Everyone smiles, you just can’t see it because they wear their helmets to honor their creed. It does not mean they are robots or incapable of feeling the same emotions we do.”
He’s perched on one of your thighs, seeming comfortable as he softly pets the sleeping vulptex and you smile down at him sympathetically upon realizing he’s still apprehensive of the armored warriors, “I was scared of Paz at first too, but he turned out to be one of the kindest, most honorable men I have ever met. These people are not cruel, but I understand why you are afraid, little one. I have only been here for three days and I am still learning how to fit in as well. Perhaps we can figure this out together.”
He gives you another toothy grin and nods, seeming comforted by your words as he leans back into you and your heart aches at the trust he shows in you; a part of you wonders if it’s because he can actually see your face. You’re not entirely sure of what to say as he continues to pet the sleepy animal, smiling whenever he hears the soft squeaks that the vulptex lets out every now and then.
“Do you have a name little one?” You ask kindly--tenderly--hoping that the question won’t overwhelm him as he tilts his head to stare up at you.
You truly don’t think he’s going to answer you, but then after a few moments of silence, he lowers his head a little, not looking you in the eyes.
“Odisian.”
“Odisian... what a lovely name,” You repeat it with a grin, earning a shy smile from him, “Is it okay if I call you Odi? Or do you prefer your full name?”
Suddenly, he beams up at you and kicks his legs a little, as if having a nickname makes him feel more at home, “I like Odi!”
Your cheeks nearly hurt from how big you’re smiling at him and you nod, deciding it’s best not to dwell too much on his own name or what nicknames he might have had before being brought to the covert. You straighten your spine a little and reach out to pet your little vulptex who keens under all the adoration and attention she’s suddenly receiving from you and the little one.
“Would you like to pick out a name for her?” You ask him softly, tilting your head to the side when he gives you an expression filled with awe and wonder, like he can’t believe you are asking him to do such a thing, “She needs one and I do not think I am creative enough to bestow her with such an honor.”
Odi swings his legs nervously and you can’t help but to grin as he seems to seriously contemplate this huge decision, his tiny hand squeezing his cheeks together in great concentration. You remain patient with him as he turns his head a little to stare at all the flowers on your desk and the colorful vines that are draping off the edge of the shelves attached to the wall with admiration.
“Rosie?”
He says it more as a question, like he’s nervous for your response, so you offer him a warm grin when you realize this sweet child wants to name your vulptex after his own favorite flower. You wonder if he somehow knows just how much your flowers mean to you, just as Paz does, or if the flower simply has some sort of deeper meaning to him and you playfully ruffle his curls, earning you a little giggle from him.
“That is far more lovely of a name than I could ever come up for her,” You inform him, your cheeks hurting from how big of a smile you’re wearing on your face and he perks up at your reassurance, no longer seeming quite as nervous, “Her eyes are red like roses too! Is red your favorite color?”
“I like yellow,” He bashfully admits, and you nearly chuckle at the way he pronounces his ‘L’s as ‘W’s, “It is a happy color.”
You agree with him as you begin to collect some flowers for the little boy, though a part of you lamely thinks he probably doesn’t even want them. You’re in the process of pointing out all the different flowers that Paz and Ima had been so kind to plant for you in anticipation of your arrival when the drapes to your alcove shuffle to the side a little.
You’re completely unaware of how long your blue warrior is standing in the entryway, simply observing you and the little one perched contently on top of your leg who seems utterly interested in what you have to tell him about the healing properties of violets and lavender.
“Oh! And then this one right here, if you just grind it up and add it into--”
“Cyare.”
Immediately, you and Odi both turn to face where Paz is standing just feet away in front of the rounded entrance, though the little one in your arms is quick to lower his head in fear of the massive warrior. Wanting the youngling to feel more comfortable, you simply smile up at Paz, who suddenly seems frozen to his spot as he stares at you with a cocked helmet, his shoulders tense as his pauldrons inch closer to the bottom of his helmet.
“Is something wrong, Paz?”
“No, it’s just--” His helmet slightly jolts to the side and he’s acting odd as you gently heave Odi off of your lap, offering him the little bundle of flowers so he won’t feel so lonely without you by his side, “It is time for the younglings to sleep and the caretaker on duty got scared because he was missing. I thought you might know where he is and it seems as though I was right.”
Odi is staring up at you with the saddest expression, as though he’s pleading with you to not return him back to the nursery and you gently cup the back of his curls, giving him a kind smile in return. Nervously, he fiddles with his hands as you stand up, easily scooping your vulptex into the crook of your elbow, all while the little one stares up at Paz with the most frightened expression you’ve ever witnessed, hiding behind your leg.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere and you’re more than welcome to visit me anytime,” You offer him a reassuring smile as he gazes down at the little bouquet of flowers and  he is quick to grab your outstretched hand with an eager expression, “C’mon, I’ll walk you back. Besides, he likes flowers too--I bet he would like it if you gave him one.”
You say the last sentence in a low whisper, as though you’re sharing some sort of gossip with him and you instantly notice the way he perks up as Paz holds the drapes to the side for you, his helmet still tilted to the side as he observes you two. Odi is still quiet and thoughtful as he stares down at the little bundle of colorful flowers you had gifted him, all while holding your hand as Paz slowly leads you through the dim tunnels.
Shyly, the child gazes up at Paz and warmth blooms in your heart and soul when he lowers his helmet to regard Odi with what you’re certain is the utmost kindness, most likely wanting nothing more than to earn the boy’s trust. Without saying anything, the little one holds up the colorful bouquet of flowers for Paz to see and you grin at the adorable interaction.
"Those are... pretty,” Paz comments in a softer voice and you can tell he’s trying to appear as placid as possible to the nervous boy, “Which one is your favorite?”
Odi lets go of your hand to press his index finger to his bottom lip in severe contemplation and you nearly chuckle at what must be a cute little habit that he does unknowingly when he’s thinking too hard. After a moment’s consideration, he points a chubby finger at one of the many violets that you had tucked in the center and you instantly grin.
“Those are my favorite too,” Paz says quietly, and you’re too focused on the way Odi is smiling down at the little bouquet to notice the Mandalorian’s visor trained on your face.
Odi seems conflicted as he gently tugs one of the violets from the middle of the colorful bundle and offers it to the huge warrior with a hopeful gaze, not saying a word throughout the entire exchange.
“What an honor,” Paz sounds like he's grinning as he accepts the little flower and Odi immediately seeks out your hand again, “Thank you.”
The youngling peers up at you with a cheerful glimmer in his eye, as though he’s proud of himself for showing such bravery and selflessness in the presence of a powerful warrior. Once you offer him a knowing smile and a gentle squeeze of his hand, Odi turns to gaze down at his colorful bouquet with a tiny grin on his face. 
Content upon realizing the little one no longer seems sad or fearful, you tilt your head up to beam happily at Paz, your heart still full of love and admiration towards both him and Odi; immediately the warrior lifts his hand to tenderly stroke your cheek. The cold bite of leather nearly makes you flinch and suddenly you’re remorseful that both of your hands are occupied by your littlest companions as you now long to touch the lighter blue in the hollows of his cheeks.
It’s not until you make it back to the nursery that Odi’s smile drops and his lips form into a little pout. Paz presses his gloved hand to the small of your back to guide you further into the nursery and through a short tunnel leading the four of you to where the younglings must sleep and take their naps.
“Hey,” You whisper after the four of you enter a dimly lit room with several beds lined up; you notice the tiny lumps curled up underneath the fuzzy blankets and smile as you crouch down in front of Odi, “Remember what I said, okay? You ever want to come see me, just ask one of the caretakers. I’ll always be here for you.”
He nods, and before you can even think about standing up, he steps forward to wrap his tiny arms around your neck and you’re quick to return the sweet gesture, your free hand coming up to gently cup the back of his head. You feel his chubby fingers curl into the hair you had left unbraided that morning and smile when he holds onto you a little tighter; you can tell he’s still afraid of you leaving as an idea pops into your head.
“Since Rosie seems to like you so much, why don’t I leave her here with you for the night?” Immediately, he pulls away from you, his starry eyes wide and filled with disbelief as you gently shuffle the lazy vulpine into his awaiting arms, “She may be small, but she’s a fierce little thing that will protect you from any nightmares you may have, I promise.”
He holds the animal closer to his chest, grinning when she lifts her head to lick at his cheek and Odi instantly giggles in response. He gives you one last shy smile before making his way to his little bed and you stand up to your full height as you watch him shuffle underneath his blankets, all while holding Rosie close to his chest. It’s not until you watch his eyes close that you let out a deep exhale and you wonder when you had stopped breathing; tears nearly escape your eyes when you watch Rosie curl herself closer to the child, head tucked underneath his chin as he smiles sleepily.
“Ner cyare,” Paz whispers and you jump a little, nearly forgetting that he had been standing there this whole time; you turn to face him and you give him a questioning look when he threads his fingers through the valleys between yours, “There is something I want to show you.”
You think when he says ‘something’, he most likely means ‘someone’, and your heart thrums wildly in anticipation as he leads you away from the younglings’ sleeping quarters. The alcove he’s leading you to is the one he had popped out of a few days ago after you confronted him after the fight, you realize, and you wonder what could possibly be in the room that he seems so excited to show you.
You blink owlishly at him as he politely holds the drapes to the side for you and you hesitantly enter the warm room; instantly, another Mandalorian with black and yellow armor turns to face you and Paz. Before you can offer the stranger an affable greeting, a soft whimper cuts you off and your heart instantly freezes over when you spot a wooden crib in the corner of the dim room.
An infant… 
There is an infant in the covert and the thought simultaneously terrifies you and breaks your heart.
Paz quietly says something in his mother tongue when the caretaker on duty tenses as you step forward to try to get a better look at the distressed infant, your heart now pounding so wildly that you hear it in your ears. Whatever Paz said to the caretaker immediately seems to calm them down and they simply watch as you observe the fussy baby that is kicking its little feet wildly and growing even more distressed. The infant is wearing tiny white socks and a long, dark brown tunic that falls to her ankles; her little head is adorned with a white beanie, but you see dark tufts of hair poking out from underneath.
“I… I cannot get her to stop crying,” The Mandalorian’s deep, filtered voice is coated with exhaustion and despite the tears burning your eyes, you fixate your attention on the defeated Mando, the vibrancy of the yellow stripes painted on his black armor nearly hurting your eyes, “What am I doing wrong?”
You wonder if he’s ever had to take care of an infant before, but judging by the way the black and yellow Mando shuffles around nervously makes you think it is not all too common of an occurrence in the tribe.
You swallow the lump in your throat and nod, shaking off your fears and insecurities as you remind yourself that you were brought here to take care of others, “O-Okay, how old is she?”
“I only found her a few weeks ago, cyare,” Paz informs you quietly, not wanting to disturb the baby even more, and you turn around to gaze up at him with wide, watery eyes; he must see the confusion etched on your features because he immediately explains himself, “I was walking back from seeing you one night and found her abandoned behind one of the vendors in the marketplace. I can’t… I can’t imagine what kind of monster does such a thing.”
You know all too well of the monsters that are capable of leaving a helpless creature behind to die, most likely feeling no guilt when they close their eyes at night.
You nod again and let out a shaky exhale as the caretaker turns his body to the side and allows you to lean over the crib, your chest aching something fierce as you carefully scoop up the tiny creature into your arms. Instantly, she lets out with a piercing, shrill scream and you heave a small sigh at how fussy of a little thing she is, though you think you already know what her problem is.
“What are you--?”
The strange Mandalorian jolts forward a little as you shuffle the crying baby around in your arms until her chest and stomach is resting against the inside of your forearm, her arms and chubby legs dangling lazily around in the air and her cheek tucked against the crook of your elbow. It takes a few moments of tenderly stroking her back to get her cries to soften into something less ear shattering, and you let out a relieved sigh when her whimpers turn into little coos and grunts.
“I think she might be colic,” You inform the caretaker with a shaky whisper, his helmet tilted to the side with what you think is either curiosity or shock as she dribbles, “I’ve uh, I’ve seen this before and read about it. Are you making sure to burp her after each feeding? Or perhaps she should be using a different formula if she has a sensitive tummy?”
“I--” He drops his helmet a little, staring at the cooing infant that you’re bouncing a little, “She wasn’t spitting anything up and I just thought… I wasn’t sure how to do it, how to burp her.”
You give the black and yellow Mando a sympathetic expression and nod, your eyes still burning with tears, “Babies can be pretty fussy sometimes, but once you find out how they like to be held and handled, it makes things a little bit easier. This tends to be a good trick at calming a lot of babies, but you need to make sure she gets burped after every feeding or else she’ll be really uncomfortable and even fussier than normal.”
“Thank you,” The caretaker nods his gratitude as you continue to stroke her back and you give him a weak smile in response, “Could you maybe get her to go to sleep? I should check on the others and I--”
‘Need a breather.’
He doesn’t say it out loud, but you hear it in the way his deep voice drops and his shoulders fall at the mere thought of having a few moments of peace and relaxation.
He fidgets when you hesitate, though Paz places a gentle hand on your nape and he must realize that something is wrong as he squeezes the warm skin there; it’s something he only does when he’s trying to comfort you. Afraid that your voice will fail you, you offer the caretaker a jittery nod and he wastes no time in leaving the nursery that’s dedicated to this tiny infant. 
You find it difficult to even look at Paz as you make your way over to the rocking chair that seems far too small for any Mandalorian and slowly sink down until you’re sitting comfortably with a cooing, sleepy baby tucked in your arms. A soft sigh escapes your lungs when you feel a little bit of drool soak through the material covering your elbow and you risk a glance at Paz when he gets down on a knee next to the rocking chair, his gloved hand moving to gently squeeze your bicep.
“What happened?” He questions as quietly as possible, warranting a tiny grunt from the irascible infant, “Why are you so sad all of a sudden?”
The way he asks such a question so softly instantly leaves you feeling painfully raw and vulnerable and you are quick to shoulder away a tear before he can wipe it away for you; you shake your head viciously, “It’s nothing.”
“Cyare--”
“I will explain later.”
The Mandalorian gives you a curt nod and retrieves a piece of cloth for you as you move the calmed baby to burp her against your shoulder. You can tell he wants to say something as you pat her between the shoulders, but he remains silent and tilts his helmet to the side upon hearing the infant gurgle and do her business against the cloth draped over your shoulder. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep once she’s burped up all the air and spit from her meal and you let out a grateful sigh when you watch her eyelids slowly droop, somewhat eager to get her out of your arms and into her crib.
Once she’s comfortable in her cradle and fast asleep, you are quick to exit the little alcove, Paz hot on your heels as you practically storm past the exhausted-looking caretaker who’s sitting on a stone ledge in the main play area.
“Hey thank you for--”
You’re out of the nursery before he can fully express his gratitude to you and you hear Paz mutter something to the caretaker before rushing after you. Halfway down the tunnel leading to his private quarters, Paz catches up to you and carefully wraps his leather-clad fingers around your bicep, turning you around to face him.
“Cyare! What’s going--?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” You don’t even realize you’re sobbing until you hear your own voice and Paz’s other hand comes to squeeze your shoulder in a comforting manner, “Wh-Why didn’t you tell me there was a baby and why would you make me…? I didn’t know and... Maker, she was so much like--”
Your chest is heaving, tears streaming from your cheeks like raging waterfalls and Paz gently pulls you to the side and covers you when another Mandalorian passes you two, giving you what you’re certain is a curious gaze. He cups a massive hand to the side of your neck and leans down as you continue to sob and babble incoherent pleas at him, wondering why he’d put you through this, though he truly had no idea what he had done to you.
“I-I am sorry, cyare,” He breathes, squeezing your bicep firmly with his other hand, “You seemed to love the little ones so much and I thought… I thought you would love to see the baby, but I didn’t think…” He shakes his helmet in a jolting manner as you viciously rub at your eyes and cheeks, “What happened? What did I do wrong?”
“I’m sorry,” You ignore his frantic questions as you try desperately to stop the tears escaping your eyes, along with the horrific memories from flooding your mind, “I didn’t mean to be so rude! I thought I was over it and I could forget, but seeing her...”
“Shh, hey, it’s okay,” He hushes you in a kind manner, shielding you from any wandering eyes that might see your tears, “Why don’t… why don’t we go back to our room and you can tell me what’s going on? That’s what you said the other day, right? That we should talk about the things we feel?”
You nod your answer, not trusting your voice in that moment, and you try your hardest to force down the massive lump in your throat.
“Will you tell me why you are so broken up over seeing the baby?”
He’s quick to pull you in close, hunching over to hold you easier and you immediately stuff your face into the crook of his neck as you give him another jittery nod, “I fear you will hate me upon hearing what I’ve done in the past--how I have failed the ones I was supposed to take care of.”
“I… I could never feel such a thing towards you,” He promises with a deep exhale, sounding just as heartbroken as he reluctantly pulls away and leads you closer to his private quarters, keeping a firm hand on the small of your back, “Whatever it is, I could never hate you, I swear.”
Your chest aches more and more the closer you get to his private quarters and once you finally make it, he’s quick to sit you down on the foot of his bed, kneeling down as he collects your hands in his leather-clad ones.
“What is haunting you, ner cyare? What makes you cry so much when you sleep?”
You pray that once you tell him, the horrific memories won’t weigh heavy on your conscience any longer.
Translations:
Ner cyare=My beloved
Mesh’la=Beautiful
Ori Kebiin=Big blue
Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum=I love you (lit. I know you forever)
Saviin’ika=Little violet
Verd’ika= Little soldier
Di’kut=Idiot, useless individual, waste of space (lit. someone who forgets to put their pants on)
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Author’s note: As always, thank you all so much for being as patient and kind as ever <3 I don’t know why this chapter was such a struggle for me to finish, but I’m so glad eventually managed to get all the words I wanted down lol. I was worried it might seem like there’s a lot going on in this chapter, but I just wanted more interactions with our nurse getting more settled in with the tribe and meeting others, so hopefully this chapter doesn’t seem like it’s all over the place :( Anyways I love you all and thank you so much for all the support y’all continuously give me <33
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