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#idk what I'll do for the 25 yet
l-e-g-i-o-n-losh · 7 months
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Sometimes i wonder if gaining weight would ever be viable or if it would double fuck my mystery joints to have to carry more (i have in the past been directly ordered by nurses to gain a little weight and prescribed supplements to do so but 1) they are spensive and 2) dad starts waxing fatphobic about "my health" when my ribs are still clearly visible) and then i get caught up in a completely theoretical dysphoria paradox loop about going to the trouble of finally getting top surgery only to gain weight and distribute fat right back to the bust and whether i would actually ever feel ok with my body under any circumstances. Idk.
I think about things like surgery and hrt a lot more than i have since we originally came out bc i feel like if I'm trying to shape my adult life into something i actually want to live then thats a huge component and I've already put it off a decade, but at the same time i still feel so stupid and anxious trying to look into it bc i dont even have regular healthcare and the state of our nation is so sucks and although i feel like i really know who I'm becoming or at least trying to i do NOT feel like i have enough cred to convince dad that i am capable of permanent adult life decisions, especially with how he doesn't even like the thought of me getting my ears pierced. He's always going to feel some degree of posession over my body and like its ok to manipulate me or stalk me or whatever if he "knows better" and its in my "best interest" and right now its not a problem bc we're a household and he gets a lot of managerial power anyways so it doesn't come up much but i always worry in the back of my mind what would happen if i ever did Really move out again.
He wants me to "act my age" and hit normal benchmarks like getting a job and dating and shit but like when am i Ever going to have time to work or meet people socially when I'm a 24/7 live in assistant and where am i going to get the PRIVACY to get to know somebody like that, even IF i wanted to, which i SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. He suggested arranging like zoom playdates for me once so i wouldn't get under socialized. That is NOT going to make me "normal" dude.
#songs that the hyades shall sing#idk sorry idk why im venting rn i just feel anxious and i dont have anywhere else to talk abt this stuff#hes so liberal panic prone abt trans regret especially bc of how he judges certain trans ppl in his personal life#and like he 'respects' me but also I'll 'always be his kid' including his sense of control#and we fucking. begged for blockers or something before we even knew what they were. desperately asked if there was a way for it Not to be#like that and got dismissed and then learned we were trans and found out blockers were real and it Didnt have to be like that and begged#AGAIN and were violently dysphoric and got hit with the 'but what if it's a phase' and 'i don't want you to regret changing your body'#and worst of all the 'well if you're fine with changing your body what grounds do you have to reject medication that will change your brain'#and 'you could always make changes as an adult when you're REALLY sure' (said with the No You Wont tone)#so we shut up and waited and it's been TEN YEARS and we ARE an adult and we've ALWAYS been sure. and he keeps bringing up the#'you know they're finding 25 isn't even a developed brain yet?' like. i knew it was a lie in the first place but i wanted to hope#but having all this pseudoscience culture war crap to back up his moving goalposts is just. i KNOW i can't and shouldn't have to wait for#his approval of my identity. but he's in all my medical shit and he pays for my bus fare so how would i even Try to get help#without having to prove something to him he can ultimately just decide not to believe
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allbuthuman · 1 year
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vent post you can ignore i've just been unable to write anywhere else
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linguenuvolose · 1 year
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isn't it insane that I'll be THIRTY-TWO before I can say I've learnt Italian for half my life? the fact that there were 16 long years of my life when I didn't speak any Italian at all and honestly had no interest in doing so either. I often think about how insane my history with Italian is like hello?? it's such a strange thing, who would've thought I'd end up here?
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doodlboy · 7 months
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Need 2 work on getting that therapist
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mrswint3rs · 4 months
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    Another Way to Pay                       
pairing- Resident Evil 4 Merchant x Fem reader
Summary- You go to your trusted merchant in need of supplies for your job but you have no way of paying for them. Or so you thought.
a/n- idk how I feel ab this one but he’s so ngh
25 days of Kinkmas day 3 - Mask kink?/ praise
NSFW WARNING:
contains- Unprotected sex, use of pet names kinda, sex with a stranger, one singular ass spank, (idk what else to put)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You stand before the merchant, the man who has been providing ammunition for your mission thus far. However, you find yourself out of pesetas, your mission at risk of failure.
"What ya' buyin, stranger?" His australian accent thick as always, somewhat comforting compared to the things occurring outside. You desperately need supplies if you're wanting to make it out alive, but you spent the last of your currency on that SR during your last encounter. "I don't have any pesetas left." you confess.
"That's a shame," the merchant sighs, "but pesetas ain't the only form of currency, mate." You look at him quizzically, not following his statement. "I don't have any valuables to sell either..." You counter. The man chuckles to himself. You're not entirely sure what he could be finding comical. It's also hard to read him, considering all you can really see are his eyes. To be honest, the man is a complete mystery to you. You don't even know why he's helping you out so much, or where he came from.
"That wasn't what I was implying," He replies. "If you're willing, you could pay with that pretty body of yours." You're a bit shocked at his suggestion. Was he being serious? Once again you couldn't read him with that mask covering 90% of his face. But his eyes didn't tear away from yours even for a second. Those piercing eyes of his made you feel small in a way. "Are you seriously suggesting that we..." You scoff and look away. The thought of screwing a stranger in such a place was unreal. But you really needed those supplies, you couldn't deny that. "Choice is yours." He states.
You couldn't believe you were actually considering. You didn't even know this man, or what he looked like. Nor did you know his name. Yet in a way, that made the idea more enticing.
"And what exactly will I be getting in return?" You ask. You didn't want to do this and not get what you came for. "You fulfill my needs and I'll give ya' a temporary free discount." He offers. That seemed way too generous. This man had so many valuables and so much ammunition, you knew that. Nothing worth just giving away. Was he really that lonely out here? Though, you did seem to be one of the only people here who wasn't infected with las plagues.
"I'll do it." You decide. It was a small price to pay to save your own ass. It could've been worse.
The merchant stands, removing his large coat in which he stored most of his items. His hood comes off, but the handkerchief mask remains, leaving his face unknown still. He was much larger than you. "Well then," He starts, "bend over this table f' me. Will ya'?"
You do as told, propping yourself up by your elbows as you bend over the wooden furniture. He doesn't hesitate to approach you from behind, pulling down your pants with ease. "Still sure about this, sweetheart?" He questions and you nod. You couldn't back out of this now. You had already dedicated yourself to your goal. "Just don't get too carried away." He chuckles at that before removing his own constraints and revealing his already hardened length. You want so badly to turn around and observe but you remain looking at your own hands, resting on the table.
Unannounced, his beefy fingers enter your mouth, swabbing for your saliva. His actions turned you on more than you thought they would. Once his digits are slick with your spit, he rubs your wetness onto the head of his dick, prepping to enter you. He positions himself, seemingly about to enter your ass, causing you to tense. "Just teasin'," he laughs heartily and repositions to your other opening. "Ready for me?" You let out a relieved sigh and nod again. "Yes sir..." He grins at your response. "Ahh..sir, eh? That's cute."
Without wasting time, he plunges his full length into you, causing you to cry out. He holds you gently by your hips, grinding into you at a steady pace. He was bigger than you imagined. Every time he trusted into you, you felt yourself weaken. His strong arm hooks under you, holding you steady. You let out quiet whines into the table you're desperately gripping onto. "Such a good girl," the merchant groans, "Ya' look so pretty beneath me." You arch against him, wanting more. "Feels so...so good." you mewl. You almost feel ashamed at how much you're enjoying this. His cock was the perfect size and you couldn't control your sounds. Your face fully pressed against the silky tablecloth as his hips continue their movement, and his girth massaging your insides so well.
His hand smacks your ass playfully, but not hard enough to sting. You were completely lost in pleasure at this point. He was fucking you so roughly, your thoughts started getting hazy. Your knees went weak and you start to slump but his bulky arm holds you steady. Meanwhile his other hand goes up through your hair, sweetly caressing your head. "It's alright sweet thing, i've gotcha," His thrusts quicken even further as he gets consumed by the pleasure as well. "Gonna cum for me soon?" You nod lazily with half lidded eyes. "Good girl," he praises again, "go on, make a mess for me sweetheart." The table creeks so much with each of his thrusts, you're almost scared it's gonna break.
You feel a tightness in your core as your orgasm creeps. His rough, calloused fingertips felt so nice, petting your hair. It would be enough to lull you to sleep if not for his rutting into you. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear, pushing you to your climax even faster. As you start to gush around him, his pounding slows. "You're doing so well," Your legs spread wider, giving him a nice view of your steadily dripping pussy. His grip tightens as he fucks into you faster. Your walls are still pulsing and clenching around him from you reaching your peak.
"Mnn..gonna fill ya' up." His breath quickens from the intense pleasure. "please...yes, cum inside me." You babble. You're not sure where your vulgarity came from, the lewd words just got fucked out of you. He lets out a low groan at your begging, his cock uncontrollably spurting into you. "Atta girl..." he breathes, "take it all for me." His hips continue jerking but gradually slow as he drains inside you. Feeling satisfied, he starts to relax. He subtly removes his hand from your hair to hold onto your waist once more.
"I'm real grateful." he pulls out of you cautiously, "doin' alright?" You stabilize yourself and readjust your clothing. "Yeah, just a bit y'know...frazzled." He laughs, finding you adorable. You couldn't even bring yourself to look him in the eyes. He could tell you were embarrassed but also recalled that you were in a hurry.
He pulls his own pants back up, putting his coat back on and covering himself again. "Well, you earned your free discount." You had almost forgotten about the deal.
You stock up on the items you needed. Ammo, herbs, ect. You didn't have time to deal with the awkward aftermath. This job wasn't going to be easy, and it certainly wasn't going to resolve itself. As much as you enjoyed everything, you really didn't have the time for this.
Of course, the merchant understood. "I enjoyed your company. Come back anytime, stranger."
mlist
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l0uterstella · 1 month
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YOUR MELODY: Analysis, Merold's Manipulation
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(Parts are still incomplete like the flower language) full english lyrics, Ever Red theory (MUST READ TO UNDERSTAND THIS POST) Updated: Feb 25 2024
MV
Flower Language
(thanks to my friend Lux for finding most of them)
Rimicha - sunflower, birds of paradise Sunflower: Symbols of joy, adoration, and loyalty. There's a story in Greek Mythology of a nymph who turns into the flower after losing her lover Birds of paradise:  Symbols of joy, paradise, freedom, and a sense of exploration
Hallritt - red periwinkle - symbol of purity, everlasting love, loyalty to friends, and hope
Merold - white and pink easter lily, white chrysanthemum, baby's breath, white spider lily, white and pink rose, hyacinth - together as a bouquet, all these flowers symbolize devoted love and loyalty, feelings of strong familial love and homesickness, positivity, happiness and admiration for the receiver, along with "seeking forgiveness/deep regret" with the hyacinths
Mirror flowers: lily, daisy, carnation, 4th still unknown - Together as a bouquet, these flowers represent celebration/hope for happiness, love and connection. Some flowers also share a meaning of rebirth or missing someone
Broken Mirror
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Broken mirrors typically symbolize a shattered self-image, fractured identity, and a sense of loss. I'll most likely be covering the voice drama in another post, but in the first episode, Hallritt is seen easily defeating a seed in one hit. Maybe Merold feels like his role as the strongest knight is being challenged? Which is why he accuses Hallritt of being a failure as a knight in the teaser for episode 2. In another scene, these two frames are right next to each other. Instead of the diamond flipping around like it did before, Merold just completely replaces Hallritt.
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The MV also had multiple "waves"/glitches, which recently has been a recurring theme of Seed's presence.
ELDRITT/HALLRITT SYSTEM
Hallritt also feels a bit "off" in the MV. It's possible that it's Eldritch Hallritt/Eldritt/The "original Hallritt" currently present. It's a bit confusing to tell which timeline the MV is set in, but it might make more sense with the System Hallritt headcanon. Eldritt formed as a protector and gatekeeper who used to hide the truth from the "current Hallritt", before deciding it'd be beneficial if he knew the truth and did something about it. Following this, the MV is in the 2nd timeline as my timeline theory suggests (with the voice dramas being the 1st timeline), and Eldritt is simply fronting instead of Hallritt.
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There's also this scene where Hallritt sings: "As if two hearts are on top of each other, I want to be connected by the same rhythm"
ELDRITCH MEROLD
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Merold seems to know about the 1st timeline. He holds a ribbon, which is what represents the memories of that timeline in Ever Red. He is also seen multiple times with a corrupted version, possibly hinting at him having an Eldritch (seed corruption) form as well.
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The lyrics seem to have him hinting at the 1st timeline to Hallritt. If you corrupt the future, you echo its dark history.
To summarize: Merold is threathened by Hallritt's strength, yet he also knows the truth of what he did/will do. He wants to get rid of him somehow, or at least keep him in his place. He put up a face to seem trustworthy, but someday, that facade will shatter like the mirror.
BONUS
1. Merold losing his vision? Really not much proof here aside from this quick frame
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2. blob people. idk who or what they are yet
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3. there's one transiton where something that look like vines turn into (angel? dove?) feathers and another one with a broken crystal. could it be referencing cielomort's death? is it his crystal strawberry from aozora?
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(Why? Why?) This heart (Why? Why?) It's fragile (Why? Why?) No matter what, I love you most (Why? Why?) It's overflowing (Why? Why?) These desires A melody just for you
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telekineticseance · 11 months
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CIRCUMSTANCES
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pairing: matt stone x f! assistant reader
summary: your friends leave you at a bar and you only have one number memorized
genre: fluff
word count: 2627
cw: legal age gap although nothing happens, drinking
author's note: this is like my first matt related fic so i hope y'all enjoy, may have more parts, may not idk i'm awful when it comes to updating
"Hm...Hello?" The voice rang through the other end of the phone that you held shakily in your hand. You didn't know why out of all people you decided to call Matt, but he was the only one with a phone number you seemed to remember. The only one who was sober enough to not leave you at a bar at least.
"Hello? Who is this?" He spoke again, his voice sounding raspier than usual, you definitely woke hi up which made you even more guilty about the situation. "Matt.." You mumbled against the phone as you heard a bunch of shuffling on the other side of the phone before Matt spoke again, "Y/N? Is that you? Are you okay? Where is your phone?"
He continued asking questions that your brain couldn't quite comprehend, as he was speaking so fast and the loud music from the bar was ringing in your other ear. "I-I'm okay. Just by myself." You slurred out, resulting in a sigh from the other end of the line.
You heard Matt take a deep breath before he spoke again, "Where's your phone?" You shrugged in response, as of he could see you before coming to the realization and responding, "I...lost it. I think. I don't know. But I didn't remember any other numbers and my friends all left with other guys and I don't know what to do." You spoke into the phone, tears welling in your eyes as they scanned the bar and you twirled the cord of the phone in your fingers nervously. This was a terrible idea, and extremely unprofessional.
"Hey. Hey. Take a few deep breaths." Matt's voice soothed across the line, him adding a few shushes in as he spoke, keeping himself calm. You nodded at his advice, taking in deep breaths as he continued to speak through the phone, "Now Y/N, where are you?"
You looked around, trying to remember which bar you ended up at. You had been bar hopping all night with your friends before they decided to leave with a group of random guys, despite your protests against it. "The Little Bar," you told him, once your eyes spotted a sign.
You hear more shuffling coming from the other side of the phone and the jingling of a belt followed by the sound of keys, "Okay I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't move. I'll come in and fin-" His voice was cut off before a loud beep rang through the phone and you let out a small groan, realizing it ran out of time before hanging the phone back on the hook.
You stood in your corner waiting for Matt to arrive, watching the blurry scene pass by. The music playing a recent pop hit loudly through the jukebox in the corner as people danced and drank while singing along off key. You tapped your foot to the beat before wincing from the pain shooting up your leg from your feet. Wearing your new heels that you hadn't broken in yet, probably wasn't the best idea but you wanted to look nice. You were trying to catch the attention of someone, whether it be a guy or whoever, just someone to give you the attention you craved.
You hadn't gone on a date since you started working for Matt as his assistant about a year ago. Since before you started you had a crush on Matt. You watched a lot of South Park in your younger years, practically being the same age as the show, you knew you had no chance with Matt. After all he was 51 and you were hardly 25, but the thoughts definitely crossed your mind every now and then. The first time you saw Matt was when you watched BASEketball in middle school with some friends, and immediately you had your eyes set on him from there, not knowing you'd eventually be the one he practically relies on for his day to day business.
You sighed, shaking the thoughts from your head again before leaning down and slipping off your heels, holding them in your hands as you continued to watch the night life. Suddenly, you felt the warm presence of a figure next to you before looking up and seeing a unfamiliar man there, drink in his hand as he looked down at you. "Hey there cutie, you look lonely over here, how about I buy you a drink and we can have some fun?"
You looked the guy up and down before giggling slightly, "Was that your best pickup line?" You looked up at the tall figure, he wasn't the most attractive guy around, then again nobody really is, although he did have nice eyes. He chuckled at your response before looking back at you, "Okay I admit it wasn't that good. But I wasn't lying, you are cute and I would like to buy you a drink."
You looked around, seeing if you could see Matt's tall figure through the crowd, but didn't. "I shouldn't my friend is coming to get me and told me to stay where I was." The guy nodded while smiling before looking where your eyes were scanning and turning his attention back to you, "Well I can always bring the drink to you if you'd prefer that."
You thought for a moment before shaking your head, "I'm okay," You tell him as he nods in response while taking another sip from his glass. The silence between you two is filled with the beats of the song playing before he turns back to you. He takes a pause before opening his mouth, "I know it's straight forward but do you wanna make out or something?"
Your eyes widen as you turn and look at him, face full of shock, "Excuse me?" He chuckled nervously at your response before speaking again, "Listen. You seem nice and we probably won't see each other again. Just a thought for living on the riskier side of life for once."
You took a moment before shrugging and nodding, who knew when Matt was actually going to show up, plus you came here for two things, to get fucked up, and to get fucked. And at this rate, only one of those things were coming true and it definitely wasn't the second one.
You wrapped your arms around the neck of this random bar guy before feeling him wrap his arms around your waist and the two of you began kissing with his back pressed up against the wall. The two tongues explored one another's mouths as your fingers tangled into his hair. Shortly afterwards you heard the loud clearing of a throat before pulling away and turning around to see Matt himself, standing there in slightly baggy jeans and a loose fitting tee. Although it was such a simple clothing choice, you couldn't help but find yourself staring in awe, before turning your eyes to meet his gaze where his eyebrows were slightly furrowed and his jaw clinched as he looked between the two of you.
Matt cleared his throat again before holding out his arm and giving you a "come here" motion with his hand, "Uh Y/N...I think we should leave. Unless you're too occupied." He said with a slight tilt to his head as he continued glancing between you and the guy. You pulled yourself out of the guy's grasp as he stared at Matt with a look of shock and confusion.
"Goodnight....dude." You tell him giving him a light pat on the chest before turning around and walking towards Matt. The guy just gave a small wave, still eyeing Matt with the same look as you two left the bar and Matt walked you to his car, opening the door for you and helping you as you stumbled getting in a little.
Matt walked around after shutting your door and climbed into the driver's side before turning and looking at you, "So was that before or after you woke me up and asked me to come get you?" Matt asked, a hint of annoyance in his tone, different than the tone he had previously on the phone with you.
You shrugged looking out the window, trying not to stare at him. "After I guess." You mumbled, resting your head against the glass and Matt sighed before leaning back into his seat and starting the car. You fiddled with the heels still in your hands as you glanced over at him driving. Circumstances by Rush played softly throughout the speakers as he tapped lightly on the steering wheel with the bass line, his fists slightly clenched along with his jaw.
His eyes shifted gaze from the road to look down at you and you quickly went back to looking away. He took a deep breath, "Where's your address again?" You told him softly, looking down at your shoes. You felt bad for dragging him out of bed and making him come get you. You glanced at the clock before seeing the dim light shine 3:23. "Fuck," you sighed out before turning your gaze to Matt, "I'm sorry I didn't realize it was so late."
He shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road, "It's fine. Couldn't sleep anyways." He was lying. You knew when he was lying as he was never really good at it. At least as long as you knew him. Despite only knowing him for a year, you practically knew everything about him as it was kind of your job to know. He also confided in you for a lot of things, whether it was stress about work or if he just needed a person to vent to, he knew he could rely on you, no matter the time or place, you were there for him.
After the awkward drive in partial silence, with only the sound of Matt's music playing through the speakers, Matt pulled into the parking lot of your apartment complex before turning to you, "You don't have to come in tomorrow, I'll be okay, just get some rest." He spoke softly, the clenching of his jaw wasn't there anymore, just a soft gaze from his eyes.
You shook your head, you hadn't missed a day since you started and you weren't gonna start now. "No I'm okay. I'll be okay." You opened the car door and began to get out before tripping over your own feet and falling. You heard Matt curse under his breath before shutting off the car and running out to get you. You shooed him away as you tried getting back up but everything around you was spinning, and it definitely wasn't helping. Matt placed his hands on your waist sending a shiver down your spine as he helped you up. He pulled his hands away, mumbling a soft, "Sorry", as he cleared his throat and looked back at you.
"It's okay," You muttered, as you looked back at him before trying to walk before stumbling slightly again. Matt let out a soft chuckle before placing a hand on your waist once more and putting the other on your arm, "Come on clumsy I'll help you get to bed."
You nodded as he helped you up the stairs to your apartment before you fumbled with you key and unlocked the door. The two of you walked down the hallway before Matt opened your bedroom door and flicked on the light switch.
You felt embarrassment wash over you as his eyes scanned your walls lined with random movie posters and pictures of random celebrities you found attractive, Matt not included. He chuckled as he looked back at you, "Quite the interior designer aren't you," he teased before helping you into your room and helping you sit on your bed.
"Now let's find you some better sleeping clothes," He said before walking over to your dresser and starting to open the top drawer. Your eyes widened as you gasped, "NO NOT THAT ONE!" Matt jumped slightly at your protest and threw his hands up defensively.
"I'm guessing the clothes aren't in that one?" He questioned before pointing to the second drawer hesitantly and you nodded in response. He gave you a nod back before opening the drawer and pulling out a tank top and a pair of shorts that were laying on top and handing them to you.
You took the clothes from him and set them on the bed next to you before standing up and reaching behind you to grab the zipper to your dress but finding it hard for yourself to reach. You let out a sigh before dropping your hands and turning to look at Matt with a pleading look in your eyes, "Can you help me unzip?"
His eyes widened ever so slightly before he cleared his throat, nodding in response. He walked over to behind you and you held your hair up as you felt his touch as he gripped the top of the dress and pulled down the zipper gently. You held up the straps and turned to look at him before thanking him. He nodded once more before excusing himself, "I'm gonna go grab you a water and such." He said before quickly scurrying out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
You took a deep breath before slipping off the dress and throwing it in the clothes hamper across the room. You did the same with your bra before putting on the pajamas that Matt had handed you and laid down in the bed.
After a few minutes, Matt knocked gently before he walked in with a bottle of water, a bottle of ibuprofen, and a small trash can with a fresh trash bag inside, looked to be your bathroom trash can to be exact. He also had some blankets and cushions from what seemed to be your couch. "I didn't want you to throw up on the floor."
You giggled slightly at his statement as he set the trash can on the ground next to your bed and set down the other items on the night stand, still holding the cushions and blankets under his arms and in his hand, "If it's alright with you I was just gonna crash on the floor, just to um keep an eye on you. Under other circumstances I wouldn't think of it but, I just uh, wanna make sure you're okay."
You felt your heart skip a beat and your stomach flip at his words. Matthew Richard Stone at your apartment, sleeping in the same room as you? Middle school version of you was punching the air at the thought. You nodded in response and he gave a small grin before setting the cushions and blankets down before flipping the light switch and laying down. You turned over on your bed, thinking about how he was only a few feet away from you, in a place outside of the work environment and it made you giggle a little inside. Maybe it was a side effect from the alcohol but the whole situation definitely made you feel a little giddy.
"Hey Matt?" You chirped, breaking the silence. He moved a little on the cushion, "Yes?"
"I like you....a lot." You confessed, eyes widening a little. He chuckled slightly his voice raising a little as if he was talking to a child, "I like you a lot too Y/N."
You sighed, knowing he didn't understand what you meant but chose to ignore it. "Now get some sleep. Okay?" He spoke softly, moving on the cushions once again.
You let out a soft sigh, "Okay..goodnight Matt."
"Goodnight Y/N," he returned before you felt yourself drift off into another world.
updated a/n: i made a part two.. enjoy :)
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ineffablydelighted · 7 months
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[How exploring the Ineffable Husbands' dynamic in Good Omens can help us figure out what the show/book is all about, Part 1/?]
Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time on her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours.
Ah, Hello! 👋
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I'm ineffably delighted to meet you all! 😇
Let's cut to the chase and bear with me as we try together to analyze further the subject of the day:
Aziraphale is in love with Crowley and I am pretty sure he is aware of that fact BUT 
[yes, there is a "but", do not erase me from the Book of Life just yet, let me explain first, homie 🥺] 
I do not believe he can comprehend WHY he is just yet, and what that would mean for him in terms of... well... EVERYTHING he ever stood for.
It will also be the perfect roots to answer the biggest question yet :
What is Good Omens all about, exactly?
[Yeah, it's a tough one. When I say "bear with me", I really insist on the fact that it will be LONG. I will try my best to make it fun to read and to allow some "natural breaks" but know that I would appreciate your unshared attention if you're willing to give it to me. 😇]
Although, would you have the chance to ask him about it (probably looking at a cup of tea as we would all do in Earthy fashion), Aziraphale would have somewhat of an answer to give you, probably in the range of:
"Because, deep down, Crowley is the nicest being I've ever known."
Is it false? No, Crowley IS nice. Swaggeringly nice, occasionally unhinged, but still. Nice.
And that is somewhat the core of the... "problem" for our soon-to-be Supreme Archangel [Yep, the pain is still fresh, thanks for asking, you're welcome for reminding you 😭👍] because, as much as Crowley learned nuances due to past experiences (Falling being, most likely, the most traumatic one,) Aziraphale remains bound to think in absolutes. And everything relates to THIS perfect meme right there:
[Whoever you are, person/entity who has done that, you have forever my utmost gratitude and respect]
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I'm far from bringing anything new to the table here, but to Aziraphale, Crowley should NOT have fallen in the first place. Because of how nice he is. Crowley IS an angel, to him. In fact, I'll go even further by stating that, to Aziraphale,
Crowley is more of an Angel than ANY Angel in the "Main Office."
Let's present our other contestants, shall we?
When he ruled, Gabriel was an absolute a** and had an ego the size of, idk, at least A DOZEN GALAXIES. He made Aziraphale feel like... well... poop most of the time they interacted.
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That is why, in S2 when Gabriel/Jim tells him "I love you", Aziraphale, even being and considering himself a "creature of love", happens to be utterly unable to either reciprocate or take the compliment. At this moment, later enhanced when he reminds himself of the Job case, he realizes he is able to feel, if not hatred, NOT love NOR admiration for somebody he should somewhat consider a role model.
That is very important for Aziraphale's present and future character development, especially considering Gabriel/Jim's own fate, so please keep that in mind.
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Michael? Oh God, Same if not worse: too condescending and ambitious in the wrong way to inspire anything nice to anybody.
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Sandalphon just does what they are told but can totally throw a punch if necessary.
Uriel is mostly cold, occasionally cruel, and can also be physically threatening.
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[I love the actress, though. Gloria Obianyo deserves a Ph.D. in Resting Bitch Facing for her performance in Good Omens alone and I'm here for it.]
S2 Saraqael seems to be more layered but has also been hurtful to Aziraphale (especially when she ironized that he couldn't possibly be the 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle caster).
Overall, S1 Aziraphale refers to the "Main Office" Angels as "BAD ANGELS!" after their hostile encounter. We could see from his face he would have wanted to use harsher words but couldn't get past his forgiving, decent nature.
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Before we talk any furfur-ther [Am I proud of this so-called pun? A-BSOLUTELEH 😎🤭], let's add a really important stone/layer to our favorite Angel's thinking: to him, it is simple maths:
GOOD = RIGHT, BAD = WRONG
And let's save it for later, shall we?
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[Killgrave dear is just here to remind you you can take a break anytime to drink a glass of Talisker if you'd like, or, more so, if HE'd like. Also because that character is THE best David Tennant role on television - 10th Doctor being the worthy third, I let you guess which character is our second now - and I might have wanted to use this gif just to be able to say that, who knows? *whispers* Mysssteryyyy...]
Anyway.
To a being like Aziraphale, who mostly thinks in dichotomy, being an Angel requires one main requirement: being GOOD.
[Buy a farrrrrm and be good! Not just "pretendy" good but. properly. GOOD! - NO, I couldn't find the gif and YES, I'm mad about it, but since I'm also unable to make one myself, I'll just shut it.]
That is why he refers to the Main Office Archangels as simply being BAD.
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At that moment, they had been mean to him, threatening, and, by doing so, they became somewhat active in Hell's Armageddon project. Making them "bad" angels, but, more so:
Bad at BEING Angels.
Aziraphale, on the other hand, is, at heart, the penultimate goody-two-shoes: he does feel bad about himself whenever he does something bad/wrong such as lying (it has started to change, and I'll nuance that statement another time, but you get the grip).
He is constantly scared he might fall whenever he somewhat defies God's will or the idea he built in his head of what an Angel should be(have).
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But have you paid attention to how his "Angelmates" NEVER seem to CARE about their own displays of, let's say "unconventional characteristics" for what should be the highest "Representatives of the sole concept of Good"?
Have you ever seen Gabriel or Michael being self-conscious about their narcissism and condescending tendencies? Uriel about their coldness? Saraqael about their sarcastic nature? Any of them about their use of violence? Of course not! They seem to be perfectly fine with it!
They own their characteristics, good AND bad.
Aziraphale does not.
Aziraphale is... soft. Even if he, at times, expresses regrets to be just that, he also applies it to his Angelic nature.
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You know who else is soft?
Crowley.
Crowley is soft because he cannot kill children and takes it upon himself to LITERALLY DEFY BOTH GOD AND SATAN'S WILL TO SAVE SAID CHILDREN, including two annoying ones [especially the one who DARED to hit on Aziraphale but that is a topic for another day]
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[MASSIVE Bildad the Shuhite fangirl here, consider yourselves warned.]
Crowley is soft because he cannot even kill GOATS.
Defying both God's and Satan's will to save kids? Yeah, eventually, okay.
Defying God's and Satan's will to save goats? Man, that's so effingly. more. powerful.
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[Oh, look! A bird flying, normal thingy, nothing to see here, buh-bye!]
Crowley is soft because he proposes/"tempts" Aziraphale to "eat a spot of lunch", especially whenever his Angel experiences stress.
We have barely seen him eat, which might indicate he does not have such a strong taste for it personally. He only goes to the Ritz to enjoy Aziraphale's company and to watch him happily eat scrumptious, comforting foods.
[Okay, also because it morphed into a proper kink at some point but that is NOT today's subject, so stop trying to make me deviate from it! 😣]
Oh, and, before you bring that up, no, the alcohol motive is not relevant since he can, in all probability have a glass of Talisker in ANY sort of pub/restaurant in London.
[As a proper peated whisky lover who happens to be French, let me tell you this is NOT the case in my country and I'm super duper jealous of you, lads.]
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Crowley is soft because he takes care of both Gabriel and Aziraphale's bookshop, even if it is clear he loathes the first and expressingly said he would not be a bookseller "even at gunpoint."
And, by "taking care of", know that I MEAN IT: he kept an eye on Jim, didn't wake him up when he heard him snore, answered any question he had, no matter how seemingly stupid they were [Even if Crowley, of all beings, cannot be anything but a raging "There is no stupid question, only stupid answers" representative] and offered him hot cocoa. As for the Booksho-P[uhhhhh *exhales in asthma*], he attempted to repair Jim's messy ordering twice and meticulously rearranged the place after ✨the Ball✨
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[What do you mean, "he also Killgraved him into jumping out of the window?" HE ALSO STOPPED HIM FROM DOING SO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. #NotBiasedInTheSlghtestIndividual]
Crowley is soft because he shares his Bentley with Aziraphale. Which is a VERY. BIG. DEAL. considering it was, at the time, HIS LAST ONE AND ONLY PRIZED POSSESSION.
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[Should I mention that the Bentley FALLS IN LOVE with Aziraphale or is debating on whether or not that falls into the Oedipian complex territory off-topic? Yes, I'll see myself out.]
Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale on countless occasions, even though, 99% of the time, that is pretty much unnecessary.
For real, guys: if Aziraphale had been discorporated in the course of his 6000+ years on Earth at any other given moment BUT on the eve of THE WAR with a capital "W", nobody in Heaven would have flinched.
[I do have a theory, though: maybe being re-incorporated takes quite a long time, which would have meant too many years apart from each other, hence the growing Damsel in Distress kink in Aziraphale, idk THAT IS NOT TODAY's SUBJECT, OKAY?!]
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Also, Crowley is soft because "doing that makes him so happy".
Do you know who is supposedly "so happy" to save living things, aka GOD'S CREATIONS? Angels.
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Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale even when it is ACTUALLY ENDANGERING for both of them
He risked: his life, his pretty comfortable position "he carved out for himself", both his Earthy and Infernal homes sort of speak, AND EVEN HIS CAR to save his Angel's bottom/help him out in the direst situations (like stopping time to stop SATAN HIMSELF.)
[Also his past/present/future existence altogether, but the Bentley is more important, as I'm sure we'll all agree.]
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[That is a Class A Protective/Helpful Husband, right there.]
Crowley is soft because he encourages Aziraphale to follow his passion for ✨prestidigitation✨
Even though he is pretty... amateurish at it. Not only does he encourage him, but he also HELPS him when he accepts to be his dashing assistant on stage.
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[Yes, he does tell S1 Aziraphale to stop doing magic because he "has no idea how demeaning that is" but I'm pretty sure it was BECAUSE of S2 1941's events. Also, #WeStan1941Crowley here.]
Crowley is soft because he works pretty hard to make two humans he barely knows fall in love.
Yes, he also does it to cover his and Aziraphale's 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle lie BUT don't tell me his amazed expression when he thought he was about to witness Nina and Maggie actually falling for each other was not the purest, sincerest of all.
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Finally, even if I could come up with more examples,
Crowley is soft because he saved Aziraphale's books JUST because he KNEW and CARED that Aziraphale CARED about said books.
That also, in Michael Sheen's very own opinion [as stated by Neil Gaiman in S1 GO DVD commentary], shared by many fans, and myself very much included, marks the moment
Aziraphale falls in love with Crowley.
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[I DARE you to tell me THIS is NOT THE LOOK OF LOVE PERSONIFIED, go on, fight meh.]
So. WHY did it happen at that moment in particular? Well, because, first of all:
As a proper Jane Austen fan, Aziraphale is a slow burner.
Also, to him, an actual Angel, love is everywhere, so differentiating one love from another might be more difficult for somebody who can feel it whether or not it is even their own.
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BUT [have you started getting used to my "but"s yet or should I harass you some more?] Let's go back in time to see how every previous encounter (that we know of) led to that pinnacle, shall we?
[Oh and, YES, this sort of essay will be long, and NO, I had no idea how much it would be when I started writing it, and still haven't, tbh 🤷‍♀️]
During part 2, we will also dive a little bit deeper into what Good Omens is all about.
[Yeah... I figured we would all need a break at this point.]
More on that later, then!
Hope I kept your interest at a reasonable peak. See you soon, Angels ❤
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Need help to find the rest of this analysis? I've got you covered! Follow me, Angel 😇
Previous - Beginning (you're here) - Next
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le-trash-prince · 29 days
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KimKenta enigma induced not-quite-heat WIP
look at me posting a WIP snippet on an actual Wednesday
This may change a bit before the final piece is posted. I’m not yet halfway through this (maybe not even 25% idk LOL), and there’s a lot of nuance I’m going to have to navigate in the editing process
smut under the cut.
Edit: finished fic here
___
"I don't know, I- it's Pete, I think I'm- I think I'm in heat," he babbles. He finds himself pawing at Kim's jacket. "I need- you have to get away, Kim."
Kim grabs Kenta's wrists and forcefully pins them against the car, making Kenta gasp in pleasure. He's already so hard. "Have you been through this before?” Kim asks. Kenta makes a small sound of denial. “Okay. We need to get you to a heat center," Kim says.
"No," the word rips itself from Kenta's throat as he frantically shakes his head. "Tony can't know." 
Kim gives him a long, hard look, and then nods. Kim understands, he has to. He's seen Kenta's scars. He knows what Tony deals in. It can't be hard to put together, what would happen if Tony knew. The hypocrisy of his own fear makes bile rise in his throat. "Fine. But I'm not leaving you here. Let's get you somewhere safe."
"I'll hurt you," Kenta whimpers, even as his selfish heart soars at the thought of Kim staying with him. 
Kim just sighs as he slings one of Kenta's arms over his shoulder to help him to his feet. "If you wanted to hurt me, you'd have done it by now."
That's a lie, Kenta thinks. He remembers the look on Kim's face as the elevator doors closed between them. I've hurt you plenty already.
"Why are you helping me," Kenta mumbles, as Kim buckles him into the backseat. He should be resisting, he should be pushing Kim away. He doesn’t deserve to be helped.
"I'm just returning the favour," Kim replies. "Don't touch that seatbelt," he orders, pointing a stern finger at Kenta.
Kim's direct order to stay put is the only thing that keeps Kenta's sanity tethered enough that he doesn't try to unbuckle himself and crawl into Kim's lap. Even with Kim running the A/C on full blast, the other alpha's scent fills the contained space of the car. This is nothing like a rut. Kenta's ruts are usually mild—and rare to boot. He doesn't get rowdy like many alphas do, although he can be snappish. But this, this is an all-consuming desire ripping through him, driving every thought from his mind except the need to have Kim's cock inside him. He's so hot, so hard it hurts. 
It's terrifying, feeling his self-control slip through his fingers. Desperately, he focuses on the pain. Perhaps it is enough to simply be here, strapped down, his hard cock tenting his pants, tortured by Kim's overwhelming musk. To look, but not to touch. Perhaps this suffering is all he deserves.
"Does it hurt?" Kim asks quietly, his eyes still on the road. 
Kenta blinks, unused to being read so easily. "Yes," he replies weakly.
"Then touch yourself," Kim says, his gaze flicking up to meet Kenta's in the rearview mirror. “Get yourself off.”
Kenta finds himself helpless but to obey. "Fuck," he whimpers, as he palms his crotch. He grinds his hips against his hand, not even bothering to unzip his pants. The shame of it floods his veins, and he doesn’t think he’s ever come this quickly in his life.
Kim doesn’t look at him once until they park.
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Text
“Your eyes. They remind me . . . of the stars„
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﹐✦﹒STATUS — “dead„ + “burnttt outtt to the core!!„
﹐✧﹒REQS — CLOSED
﹐✦﹒ASK — OPEN
﹐✧﹒MSGS — OPEN
╰► “CRAWLING BACK TO YOU . . . „
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ABOUT THE WANDERER . . .
yua! 2/25. she/her. infp. height? 4'8. absolutely adores scara. writes mostly smut. asian. turning 19 next year, sighs. adores and an absolute fanatic of books, writing, art, music and dancing 🫶
extra info? —— none. haven't made a carrd yet. other way to contact me is thru disc. otherwise you can contact me on tumblr. I only write on tumblr and ao3. if you see my works anywhere else, such as ai bots or on another website, please contact me immediately.
╰► masterlist // dni // req rules // tag list // anon list
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✧ — WHO DO I WRITE FOR?
╰► genshin impact & hsr
✧ — WHAT AM I WORKING ON? BUSY?
╰► requests and researching how other characters act . . .
✧ — CHARACTERS THAT I CAN WRITE
╰► any, just not any characters out of my league. for ex. any characters from cod, jjk, or any other fandoms.
✧ — WHAT ELSE?
╰► probably gonna make a carrd, revamp my account, and some stuff. idk.
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BEFORE READING MY FICS
╰► YUA HERE!!
I just want to mention how I mostly do smut and dark content but I won't deny of doing fluff or any angst either! All u gotta do is just ask!
My schedule occasionally gets crowded, which leaves writing not able to fit in. I apologize if I just go silent dead for the next few weeks or days. I'm a living being and also have to keep up with my academics.
Don't come at me saying why I do female reader when I write smut, it's because I'm a female myself and I'm just doing what's comfortable with me. If you don't like my work, just block or ignore it, it's not that hard.
There's rare times where I actually do non con. I don't do non con all the time since I know that most people are going to feel uncomfortable with it.
I usually don't warn whether in my writings whether they're non con or what kinks are in it. Please, just kindly ask me to add tags and I'll do it.
Don't be afraid to req or msg me!! Occasionally I'm going to be free<33
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FAVORITE WRITERS (wip)
@ciarchivez — a mutual of mines, their works are fucking good. I love them 🫶
@strwbmei — delicious hi3 & hsr smut. would absolutely devour them.
@scara6 — rec their account. their work is also very tasty 🙏
@hiraethsdesires — absolutely adore the mara's will. bit underrated, I love them 🫶
@hitomisuzuya — delicious, devouring scara smut. I recommend them!!
@scaraswh0re — LOVE THE IDOL FICS!! they're also an amazing writer <33
@darling--core — recommend them sm, I absolutely adore the yan hcs<33
@serenitiiy — underrated!! a must read as the writer is super sweet themselves!! 🫶
@returningluv — devours. I love them.
@torntoblivion — already ate the plate along with the food. i'm too gay for their arlecchino works.
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autistic-af · 5 months
Note
hi!!! im not sure how to word this? but i've come to the conclusion that i can't live without a caretaker and need help with a lot of things in life. i get in a lot trouble on my own with general life stuff from like phone calls and cooking to loosing friends frequently thanks to bad communication to dangerous situations with others!!! (thankfully nothing too bad yet but im very gullible i think. i keep getting in weird situations) 
problem is. im 24 and my family doesnt seem to understand me when i ask for help? they think im too old to be the way i am and im just being like this for fun. (or making it up? im not sure) i try to tell them things and they say i'll get better at it. but ive tried and its not working! i guess what im asking is do you know what i can say? to let them understand how it is for me? my siblings are trying but they dont seem to understand the extent of how it is for me and idk what im doing wrong anymore. like i dont really know what im supposed to do as an adult. i dont talk very well at all and i shutdown a lot. documents are too confusing to me and money stuff is kinda scary bc idk what to do if i mess up. i cant even drive because i have vision problems that make it illegal to drive in the us and i couldnt pay enough attention to learn anyways and!!!!! idk what to tell them. all i can think to do is get fully diagnosed with stuff and maybe they will listen but its hard! when idk what to say or do to get help. nothing seems to be working
I will put this question to my lovely followers, many who have moderate to high support needs, and may have tips on how to explain things.
I have been with my husband for 25+ years and haven't had to worry about these things. So, I'd rather you get advice from people who have experienced something similar. ❤️
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lilolilyr · 6 months
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Send me a flufftober day + what ship you want me to write the prompt for and i might feel some inspiration :D
Ships I take prompts for are in the tags! You can also prompt something else if you think i might know it :)
Already written: # flufftober 2023 on Ao3
Day 1 - Mirandy Day 2 - Bering and Wells
Day 3 - Mirandy Day 4 - Mirandy
Day 5 - Bering and Wells Day 6 - Callian
Day 7 - Bering and Wells Day 8 - Avorah
Day 9 - Andromaquynh Day 10 - Bering&Wells
Day 11 - Bering and Wells Day 12 - Milippa
Day 13 - Berena (Holby City) Day 14 - Berena
Day 15 - Janeway/7 Day 16 - GM ScarletMay
Day 17 - Berena Day 18 - GM Killercule
Day 19 - Bering and Wells Day 20 - Mirandy
Day 21 - Bering and Wells Day 22 - Mirandy
Day 23 - Fangorn (LotR) Day 24 - Arawen
Day 25 - Bering and Wells Day 26 - Janeway/7
Day 27 - Bering and Wells Day 28 - GOmens
Day 29 - Bering and Wells Day 30 - MacPhrack
Day 31 - Mirandy
My stuff on tumblr | ao3 | headers | Send prompt ask!
Flufftober Daily prompts:
(& I might write more than one for the same day so still hmu with prompts for any of the upcoming days even when I already wrote a note with a prompt or an idea)
Day 1 I've got you ✓
Day 2 Family, Friends, Loved ones ✓
Day 3 Wait you love me? I always have. Idk Berena maybe? Can’t really think of any storyline here, maybe I’ll just do one of the bonus prompts today went with the alt prompt (✓)
Day 4 Cinderella Moment could be Mirandy with Andy at a ball or sth but I think sb on the discord is already writing that and I already had a Mirandy one anyway… prompts? Edit: Wrote it anyway ✓
Day 5 x+1 prompts? possibly something Bering & Wells? I‘d like to write more W13 fics ✓
Day 6 Corn Maze I feel like doing sth with kids so Berena or Mirandy or maybe Callian? ✓
Day 7 Porch Swing Bering&Wells as prompted by purlturtle- I’ll try my very best! ✓
Day 8 Rainy Day I know I already wrote this for Milippa several times but I kinda want to? Or maybe Avorah… idk yet ✓
Day 9 …at first sight I want to do a flashback fic with hate at first sight when they’re together now tho. Maybe kiradax? Edit: didn't have time for something longer, went with an idea for an Andromaquynh drabble instead. Really want to write that kiradax story some day tho! ✓
Day 10 Love of my Life possibly Bering&Wells for a prompt from Ao3, but I'm not sure yet, can't really think of sth to write, unless sb has a specific prompt I'll probably go with an alt ✓
Day 11 Sweet Tooth could be anyone! Myka, Andy (both Andrea or Andromache xD), also Miranda maybe, Madeleine,… Prompts? I’m making this a first come first serve so whichever character I get promoted first, I’ll write! Edit: got an Bering & Wells prompt from Lavendelhummel! & one from an anon! ✓
Day 12 Fire&Ice Milippa fantasy AU ✓ (I did get a prompt for Bering & Wells smut too, we’ll see if I have time)
Day 13 Wrong(…) prompts? Also maybe add what wrong thing it should be about! Edit: writing sth for Berena ✓
Day 14 I hate it - no you don’t. This feels like a smut prompt to me xD safewords mentioned but not used *smirk* but which ship? Berena? Andromaquynh? ✓
Day 15 Emergency/Confession/Adventure - maybe a Mirandy Wip I have could work for confession, idk yet edit: wrote a J7 drabble ✓
Day 16 singing one another to sleep Floreleine maybe? Ended up with ScarletMay, still GM ✓
Day 17 encouragement to achieve a goal ✓
Day 18 did you plan for this to happen? Andronilynh maybe? Or Librarywives? ✓
Day 19 keeping someone safe possibly Bering&Wells for a prompt from Ao3 (guys pls send me tumblr asks instead if in any way possible) ✓
Day 20 pumpkin Mirandy in collab with TheWalkingMeepa! ✓
Day 21 swoon got a Bering & Wells prompt for that one, thx Ida! I'll try to think of something :) ✓
Day 22 Picking (flowers/picking sb up/picking out a dress/picking a song for our wedding/…) mayhaps a smutty mirandy continuation of day 20?? ✓
Day 23 trinket send me ship ideas? Or I'll just combine with Tolkientober day 23 prompt 'hobbits' and write something to the ideas on this post. Also this one maybe ✓
Day 24 melting maybe Arawen? Tolkientober prompt of the day is 'kiss' so that kinda goes together :D ✓
Day 25 nook Tolkientober prompt of the day is 'sting' which... Might fit xD but idk what to write to it really? Maybe I’ll just stick with B&W ✓
Day 26 fireplace I feel like J7 ✓
Day 27 outdoor event prompts? If I don't get any prompts I might go the tolkientober route and combine it with the prompt 'family' edit: went with extra 6 for B&W (✓)
Day 28 soothing touch - maybe ineffable spouses with snek Crowley ✓
Day 29 hey, wake up! Prompts? At a stretch I can always do B&W again bc I want to get some more fics in that fandom anyway. Maybe combo with extra5? ✓
Day 30 self worth/self love prompts? Maybe just a singular character here? Tolkientober prompt is 'gardener' so if I don't get any prompts I might go with some Sam self love… or write sth Mac centric for MacPhrack? ✓
Day 31 dreams do come true ohh if the mirandy one doesn’t work for confessions it Will work here ✓
And then there are also those, for when I really can’t think of something to write for a day’s prompt, but you can also prompt me fandoms for these:
Extra 1: hot chocolate ✓ by accident in combination with day 8!
Extra 2: you’ve told your parents?
Extra 3: wearing each other’s clothes
Extra 4: candles/lanterns/fairy lights
Extra 5: oh no, you’re a morning person! - lavendelhummel prompted Bering and Wells with Myka as the morning person ✓ in combination with day 29!
Extra 6: reverse all the roles ✓ on day 27 for Bering and Wells
Extra 7: fairytale retelling maybe McPhrack
Extra 8: new occupation
Extra 9: crossover
Extra 10: sharing the last table at a café Mirandy AU first meeting for day 3 ✓
You can also send me more specific prompts, if you already have an idea for what exactly you want me to write for a day!
Only taking prompts from people who actually interact with my stuff. Reblogs and friendly ao3 comments get prio, but if you just hit kudos on ao3 in the past or sth I also won’t ignore you, I’ll just do others first! (Tumblr likes, obviously, don’t count for shit)
flufftober Event Blog
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jezifster · 2 months
Text
Bones and Bullet side characters except they're not all in Bones and Bullet some are in the sequels but I haven't named the series yet so whatever
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1. Joshua "Josh" Hernandez (he/him), Agent 78 in Project Scion, Code Name Bombshell. Specialized in explosives and gadgetry. Retired from the action life, living in Puerto Rico, and focused on building prosthetics (he lost his left arm as a teenager) until Shadow and Veronica need his help but he'd rather just chill but like he'll help them but like why are they still doing that bullshit. Worked with Shadow and Veronica. Token straight. Age 26.
2. Eileen Porter (she/they), Agent 79 in Project Scion, code name Buttons. Specialized in computer systems or whatever the official way to say hacking is (I'll figure that out later ok). Retired and living in London, spends her time gaming and ripping off bitcoin billionaires. Worked with Shadow and Veronica and helps them when they need it but is also annoyed at them for the drama. Age 25.
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3. Jesse [Redacted] (he/him), Agent 75 in Project Scion, code name Nightshade. Specialized in strategy and covert operations. Now a criminal working for The Empress, her top lieutenant, in charge of the other former agents that she recruits. Age 28.
4. Sasha Solokov (he/him). Okay he's not a side character he's the villain of book 1 but I don't talk about him much so here he is. He's a dick. Leader of the Solokov Cartel. Deals in arms, research chemicals, and allegedly bio weapons. Shadow's boss who sent him to assassinate Veronica. Age idk who cares.
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5. Mommy The Empress, also goes by Zahra, real name unknown (she/her). Runs a mysterious but definitely illegal organization that later recruits former agents of Project Scion. Political assassinations and blackmail seem to be her main goals. Age 47.
6. Charlie Santana (they/them), specializes in hand to hand combat but prefers to use dual blades. Recruited by The Empress but was working as a body guard before that. Age 23.
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7. Tami-Lynn Claiborne (she/her), Shadow and Veronica's handler for Project Scion. Basically the closest thing they had to a mom growing up. She genuinely tried to make their lives as normal as she could but she didn't have much authority in that arena. Age 46.
8. Hiroto Hayashi (he/him), Specializes in blades and mobility. Basically he can scale a building while throwing knives. Also an excellent sniper. Unknown what he's up to, he stays pretty mysterious. Age 24.
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joanquill · 6 months
Text
Sweater weather & "Do you believe in ghosts?"
15 Character is zack Peterson Type: romantic, fluff, deep meaning? And 25 w fred
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Zack Paterson & Fred Porlock
Tag/s: Romantic (Paterson), Platonic (Fred), Fluff Ending, Deep Meaning(?) IDK Warning/s: Death, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Profanity
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"Mx. (Y/N),"
"Yeah?"
"Do you believe in ghosts?"
You straightened your posture as you looked at Fred, confused at the sudden question.
"...Kind of concerning how you're asking me that when I'm about to leave," you chuckled as you put on your coat.
"If I'm being honest... Not really... Or at least I hope they don't exist considering our job," you dryly chuckled as you grabbed your basket, opening the door.
"Why do you ask?" you questioned as you looked back at him.
"...Just a thought..." he mumbled, turning away as he rubbed his arm.
You raised a brow at his answer but shrugged your shoulders.
"If you say so," you smiled as you put on your shoes, "I'll be back in a couple of hours,"
"Right... Be careful. It's quite cold today," he reminded you as he saw you off waving goodbye.
"You're telling me..." you chuckled, stretching your neck and shoulders as the cold wind kept making you shiver.
"I'll be back before dinner!" you waved goodbye as you headed off.
Fred bit his lip as his eyes focused on the shadowy figure on your back, clinging to you.
"I wonder what's gotten into that boy..." you muttered, fixing your bouquet as you continued walking.
"Hope you didn't wait long," you smiled as you opened the cemetery's gate, greeting your ex-husband's gravestone.
You replaced the old flowers with new ones, laying your coat on the grass and sitting down.
"William sent out on a new mission, and I had to go to London for a few weeks. Hope you didn't miss me much," you chuckled as you laid out your drink, pouring yourself a cup.
"Anyway, you wouldn't believe this, but..."
Your head started to sway as you tried to keep sitting up, the alcohol hitting you hard as you fell back.
"I thought I would find you here," a new voice greeted as a shadow loomed over you, making you open your eyes.
"Paterson..." you muttered, seeing the man looking at you.
"You're going to catch a cold," he sighed, giving you a sweater.
"Thanks..." you smiled as you sat up, "What brings you here?" you muttered, putting on the sweater.
"The others were wondering if you were okay," he answered, sitting beside you.
"Is that so?" you chuckled, looking down at the sweater.
"...Are you okay?" Paterson gently asked, making you chuckle.
"Honestly? I'm not sure myself..." you sighed, looking straight at your ex-husband's gravestone.
You two sat in silence as the wind continued to blow.
"...Are you going to stay here the whole time?"
"You look like you could use the company," he replied, making you breathe out a smile.
"My husband... was not a good man..." you started, making Paterson look at you.
"I was only fifteen when he brought me to that godforsaken house... He was jealous and would accuse me of infidelity at every chance he got," you tightened your jaw, memories flooding back in.
"The nights when he was drunk were the worst of it..." you sadly laughed, remembering the bruises and scars it left you.
"And when he died... All I felt was relief," you breathed out, resting your hand over your face.
"I thought I was finally free... That it was finally over..." you continued, looking at the gravestone.
"And yet here I am... visiting this bastard every year..." you frowned, fidgeting with the end of your sweater.
"And I don't even know why..." you sighed, running your hands through your hair.
Paterson kept quiet as he looked at the gravestone.
"You were only a child back then..." Paterson started, making you turn to him.
"This is what you've known your whole life... So don't beat yourself up about it," he reassured, placing a hand on your shoulder.
"But you're not alone anymore," he smiled, pulling you to his chest.
"Don't ever forget that, okay?" he reminded, rubbing your back.
You breathed a smile as you hugged him back, sighing as his body heat covered you in warmth.
"Right... Thank you..." you sighed, standing up as you pulled him along.
"Let's go home?" you suggested, making him smile.
"Let's."
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theonethatyaks93 · 4 months
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Sketch Showcase Time!!!
Sooooooooo, these are days two and three of my "Learning How-To Draw Pinky and Brain Phase." And, y'all, I think I found my groove! This is attempt 2 of drawing Pinky:
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Already, I'm very pleased with this. I mean, this was my attempt to re-create Pinky's design by @goosieboosie. I'm not a digital artist, so I couldn't capture all the majesty of this design perfectly, but I did a decent job. This style allows me to draw Pinky's face a lot easier, and I can get more creative with facial features. I was really happy when I finished this, I kinda freaked out because, he looks great!! I even drew my gender/sexuality headcanons for Pinky beside him, as well as his signature because, why not? I tried to re-draw this picture a few hours later and I made a new discovery:
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Sorry for the blurry pic! But yeah, I think I invented my own unique style!! This is the first version of this; there a few changes from my first re-draw. The main changes are Pinky's eyes being rounder, and his ears a little bit larger. I think the base shape of his head is also a little different. I think he looks so derpy!! I was instantly in LOVE with this updated design, so I decided to draw it again and:
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The design is a little different again! And also, my first expression!!!! (Ignore the weird as hell erased Pinky head you see; it was a massive failure and I couldn't erase it all :( ) I really think the Pinky on the left turned out better than I thought!! I love his cute little face and his extra floofy head. The second pic is another kind of model pic, but I added a little tongue because it looked cute. I also added the mind bubble and the little blurb just for added effect. I think he looks cute, what do you guys think?
On day three/attempt 3, I actually doodled a Pinky without looking at a reference in one of my books because I was in school. Here's how it turned out:
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I LOVE IT!!!! I was so shocked when I finished with this because I think Pinky looks amazing!! It's not perfect, but when compared to day one, it's like night and day. This is my favorite Pinky I've done so far, and it only took my like 25 minutes; what an improvement when compared to over an hour just for one drawing lol! I've made some small changes here, and I will continue to make changes for the time being. I'm still finalizing my style.
Later on, I did something I'm very proud of:
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My first full-body Pinky!! I drew the body first and then added a head in later. I also marked certain areas that I might improve upon later, and little personal touches that I added for fun. Yeah, I think his head is a little too tall, but I'll fix that. I implemented some unique elements such as his muzzle area being based on the OG show, the tufts of fur on his head being longer, the chest fur, his feet being stuffed-animal like, his short legs (which will probably be longer in the future), and his tail being from the reboot. I am currently working on hands; they're just not ready yet. I'm very excited to see my own personal style being formed. I like all the touches I added and I'm excited to maybe work on some screenshot re-draws and other things like that.
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Here are some hand sketches. Hand are EXTREMELY HARD for me so I'm trying to get an idea of what I want to do. I was either thinking of the one on the left (larger fingers, rounder shapes) or the one on the right (more angular, slimmer fingers). Idk, which hand style do yo guys think would work better?
I'm very proud of the progression I made on these designs. I'm currently planning on drawing Brain very soon and I will be doing screenshot re-draws, experimenting with changes to eye shape, and more expressions. I'm also writing still (new fic currently a wip), and I'm very excited to be contributing more to the fandom!! Let me know where I can improve and some tips on how to draw their hands. Also, special thanks to @cosmicangel139 for the drawing tips for Brain!! You are amazing and I will definitely keep those tips in mind!!!!
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bentosandbox · 1 month
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I don’t know if anyone had asked this yet but I wanna know your opinions on vernal wind(after reading ur qiubai skin review) and what do you expect the story to go on after the event?
WOW sorry i took so long to reply this the next sui story already came out (although i haven't read it yet) but i did just finish reading silberneherze and it reminded me of vernal a lot so i finally managed to frame my thoughts(?) also did i review her skin i can't find the post so sorry if i repeat anything ive said before lol anyway
disclaimers: 1) didn't reread before typing this so i prob forgot a load of stuff 2) subjective as hell
Vernal was so aarhhhhgggg not bad but it was so... Traditional Wuxia which I thought I would be happy to read but bruh. they played every trope a bit too straight imo. i think the main thing that stuck with me was the crazy levels of filial piety which isn't a bad thing per se but come on. waaifu's dad. shakes my head i think ya01 should have destroyed him. i think wei should also have been bedridden bare minimum or something from the early encounter just from main story karma. only rat king gets to go scot free cause hes actually a nice dad to lin so i guess it makes sense she's like no no 'i'll continue the family business' i remember reading the story for the first time and being like (woozy emoji) over lin saying she'll take over because it was so.. girl youre probably not even 25 yet and you just put on some heavy af shackles which was so very 'the Right thing to do' great character flaw(?) for someone supposedly morally 'Not Good' i suppose
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this avengers ahh looking CG... everytime i think about the context its just SIGH they really just girlies gang up!! and then Ya just 'aight cya' maybe im just salty du yaoye isn't in it and still isn't playable just undercooked as fuck banger image but weak setup and payoff there was no satisfaction to be gained other than 'nice art' (for me)
like... basically every girl in the picture's main motivation in the story is related to some guy which was so zzzzz to chew about when thinking about a bigger picture. actually maybe even every woman even jieyun's teacher i think only lin gets to go off the hook because of that lungwrath scene (probably my fave part of the event) so pathetic... so human... ok i know im bias
Chongyue: honestly i was kinda zzz-ing at the boss fight idk i guess there is a kind of 'damn even now when fighting he's alone lol' but other than that i was just like 'okaaaaay'
anyway silver lake spoilers below
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leto's dad sucks but he's still at least 50 times better than waaifu's and i feel like degenbrecher is in a similar place where chongyue was except she basically goes idgaf and i enjoyed that very much
and just the littlest thoughts on Here A Peoples Sow (will they fix this title for global) because... funny i said how vernal was so 'traditional'. they literally flipped 男耕女织 (Men Till and Women Weave) basically feudal era? traditional division of labour with Shu and Jie lmaoooo
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