#idk what im saying i just love history

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her. #but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core) #but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke. #like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to??? #everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those) #i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women'' #which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love) #i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it?? #even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses?? #that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger??? #and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

[rainbowresurrection]

I ended up reading The Price of the Phoenix and while it didn't make me want to bleach my eyes like Killing Time, I still didn't like it as much as I hoped I would. Don't get me wrong, the homoeroticism was intriguing to me, but the actual writing and storyline itself left me with a headache. I think I get my hopes up with these books, given all of the possibilities that the written word has for Trek, and it inevitably sets me up for disappointment lol

#if u liked it thats fine I just kind of hated it #star trek #The only ones Ive genuinely liked so far is STTMP and the one about Garak written by Andrew Robinson #i wish Roddenberry had written more. STTMP was no literary masterpiece but his writing style had a lot of potential and I feel that #he actually captured the characters authentically and you could relate to their feelings #Price of the Phoenix had all of this corny alpha male shit going on that almost made me feel #like the author just didn't know how to write men or something #Like they relied a lot on stereotypes of the time which sucked considering that Kirk and co. are supposed to be living in the future #the dialogue was clunky and even confusing at times #and the characters were just #idk. vapid to me #Like Kirk and Spock's love for each other is portrayed which is nice but basically everything else about them just didnt feel #accurately characterized or otherwise explored #it was basically just muliple chapters of several different versions of Kirk getting his ass kicked & this big weird villain dude taking up #space on the page with his plan to take over the universe or whatever #the reincarnation concept was intriguing but the themes just weren't clear enough for me #the end haha #sttos #k/s #review #price of the phoenix #well Im glad I read it anyway I was curious #i get kind of leary of certain K/S content TBF since a lot of it- esp around that time- comes off as voyeuristic towards M/M relationships #a lot of those ppl didnt exactly care about queer movements as much as they cared about seeing their two fictional favs fuck #yes there were queer writers but we didnt always exactly get center stage in these things #you can tell what is written with respect and whats just kinda. written. you feel me #i love K/S and its history but Im not gonna pretend all or even half of it was written with the intention of uplifting queer men #i ended up having more to say than I realized uhhhhhh to be continued at another date

[theygender]

Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations

#rambling #i love matilda so much. its such an important story to me. its literally just an abused childs power fantasy #where she gets to get back at the people who hurt her and protect other kids and then get a new loving family and everything is alright #my gf and i just watched the movie adaptation of the musical and we have Opinions on it. some good and some bad #so weve been discussing it and analyzing different parts of it #and its kinda nice to get to use my history for something good #to be able to give thoughtful analysis on how the changes they made in this adaptation have changed the allegory for abuse in the story #from the perspective of someone who grew up with that #and to just. have that be normal. my gf knows my history and its not gonna stop the conversation if i say #'this change works well for trunchbull's character bc it makes her seem more like a real life abuser' #'this detail is very subtle but it really captures some tiny part of the experience of growing up with an abuser' #'i dont like this bc it detracts from the narrative of the main character feeling alone and makes it less relatable to abused kids' #'i dont like this because while it IS something that happens under abuse it detracts from the fantasy where the kids all win together' #idk. of course everything that happened to me as a kid was awful and should not have happened but like #for a long time i had this problem where i didnt know how i was ever supposed to be okay about that #like no matter how much therapy i go through it will never UN-happen. it will always still have happened and it will always have been awful #and i couldnt figure out how i was supposed to recover from that besides 'bury it and try your hardest to never ever think about it' #and. i think maybe this is it. yes the abuse i went through was awful. thats kind of the whole thing about abuse #but. its also just a fact of my life. im better NOW. but that will not change what happened then #the abuse was awful. but the fact that i am an abuse survivor is a neutral fact. the same as any other fact from my childhood #its just a fact. a part of my past. and maybe being able to talk about it that way is... good for me #i dont have to break down when i think about it bc im okay now. my partner doesnt need to stop me and express sorrow for me bc im okay now #i can talk about my past in a neutral way and use my life experience to analyze movies #the same way that i used my experience of growing up in arkansas to analyze hollywood hillbillies when we watched it together #theyre both just two facts of my life. and analyzing movies is fun #that woman has no power over me anymore and hasnt for many many years. im okay now #abuse mention #child abuse mention #request to tag

[lordiavolo]

to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.

when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.

but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.

#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL #ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as #possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch #i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my #peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts #i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont #even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix. #i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a #part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase. #i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know #there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem #for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes #im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times #anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better #than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know? #being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be #that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends) #hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a #good person it is within ur hands i promise u #ok love u goodnight #personal

[six-of-ravens]

this might sound dumb, but listening to WizBru and in particular hearing Holden talk about the times he, as the children say, put his whole pussy into some pop culture phenomenon and had a great time with it, has kinda changed how I take on things like that and has increased my enjoyment 1000%.

like idk, it might particularly be bc he's a 40 year old dude who's embracing fun and often "girly" things instead of being derisive and superior, admittedly. bc there are a lot of those kinds of dudes in my day-to-day life and seeing a dude be not only Chill but Enthusiastic is a nice change. also might be because I come from tumblr where everyone's shitting on anything popular and a little silly the instant it comes into existence.

but listening to him talk about how he wholeheartedly loves Blackpink and thinks they're super cool, or how he started a singalong at the tswift concert movie, or wearing pink and going to Barbie, or just...anything. is like. oh right sometimes pop culture is just for fun and you can just have fun and be in the Fun Space for a while and you can still critically examine it but also just. have fun. and let having a good time be a profound experience for you.

#idk what im saying here but literally #holden's (and jake's but mainly holden's) enthusiasm for things they talk about on wizbru has gotten me into sooooo many things #he's why i gave b/lqckpink and tsw/ft a chance! and more clamp manga! and movies! and video games sometimes! #like we all know my Gore Threshold is fairly low but they made me want to watch saw real bad too! #anyway listening to their wrapup episode and just feeling a lot of love for this lil nerd history podcast #and either they havent done an s/pn ep yet or i haven't heard it bc it's old but this change in mentality is why i started rewatching it #don't have to take it so seriously you can just watch a pretty guy get beat up and slowly fall in love with an angel!! #is it the greatest thing ever written? no! but you can come out of the space where people only want to make fun of it or criticize it #and just be in the space where you're having a fun evening for a while!! #not to say you shouldn't criticize media but you can't CONSTANTLY be on that sometimes you have to embrace 'its not good but i like it'

[leafyloveslaughing]

bro. i'll appreciate pretty much any content that's consistent but damn, historical manhwa's where the fashion is consistent? pop off.

#i dont read them that much but when they put in the thought you def notice T.T #the most notable ones are ill be the matriarch in this life and a stepmothers marchen like omg #even if there's the few off artistic choices IT IS LARGELY CONSISTENT they stick to an era and they nail it !!! #of course this isnt to drag on other historical manhwa. i love any pretty outfit when i see them. but it just hits different ok 😭 #im just saying this as someone who never studied a piece of fashion history in their life but watched a lot of videos leave me alone- #in illbethematriarchinthislife. the womens wear consist of long dresses that sinch HIGH. just below the breasts. jane austen era i think #AND THE MENS WEAR IS ALSO CONSISTENT !! GOOD LORD !! long shirts. FLAT. not a synched waist to be seen here. no sir. #unless your wearing a uniform jacket then like. maybe a little sinch. just a little. #in astepmothersmarchen. womens wear are BEAUTIFUL. floofy VERY FLOOFY SKIRTS. i swear they gigantic #again i didnt study fashion history so idk the exact era but the SILHOUTTE. chefs kiss. distinction is so important #really frilly tops too. i dont think ive seen a hard lined triangle sinched waist yet. with like a visible corset i mean? thats another era #OOOH- GOING BACK TO illbethematriarchinthislife. the womens wears sleeves?!?! lovely. mostly puffed shoulders with slim long sleeves. #so going by that im now no longer sure if its jane austen era? since that era was puffed shoulder sleeves with really long gloves instead- #i mean they couldve also gone straight up sleeveless but what do i know T.T #their skirts also. unlike jane austen era. very big !! with a part split in the middle like a triangle to reveal only more skirt #i dont have the vocabulary for this... #back to astepmothermarchen skirts. floofy at the sides. lots of frills. they appear round but i wouldnt be surprised if like- #similarities with historical france dresses show up? with the really long sides you know #idk much about the mens wear in this one- #the men wear uniform esque style. casual wears are long poofy sleeves with them white loose fabric #really sinched at the waist tho but im not sure if its the fashion or just the artstyle? #a stepmother's marchen #i'll be the matriarch in this life #if anyone has any recs pls share them !! or any added detail because again. not a braincell in sight with this one XD #hearing people who study about fashion history is such a blast !! theyre all so passionate T.T #most of the historical manhwa ive read are european centirc but the asia centric ones? slay

[waywardsalt]

i think ive seen this idea around a few times but not too recently, but i dont really understand when people say that skyward sword fucked up zelda lore or whatever. idk if i missed anything in sksws story or just happened to miss something in general but ig. i dont really understand that opinion

#salty talks #worth mentioning that i am an Official Timeline Liker and good at missing subtext or whatever so idk #this mostly bc im like sitting here thinking abt sksw and i cant figure out how it coudlve fucked things up #ig it just added some context and history to certain things #worst i can think of is the weird thing wirh the hylian royal family being literally descended from a goddess #and demise’s curse thing which is tbh just a dramatic way to say ‘evil things are always gonna exist btw fuck you two specifically’ #tbh demises curse thing is up to interpretation anyways and just going ‘oh so ganondorf is a reincarnation of demise’ is stupid #idk i have my take on what demises curse or whatever is but thats not the point i dont see how sksw fucked anything up #maybe i have a hard time understanding this cuz i like sksw. i have a hard time following the nitty gritty of the story tbh #like whats hylias deal. i dont fully understand what zelda is telling link in her long monologue to him #uhhhh. idk if ill tag the games. i wont #i mean i get why ppl hate fi even tho i love her and found her to give a balanced amount of help and whatever

[vhgr]

book aemond this book alicent that god forbid characters written as historical figures of their fictional world get any dimension

#i know i know we love dynamic personalities but #there's a thick line between that and shallow portrayals #because that *is* all you can get in a #how should i call f&b #fictional history book #on my end i think the show and ewan gave aemond a brilliant dimension #alicent could have had a little more conviction sure but i think they had achieved just that in ep6 #maybe it's just me but im not a big fan of characters becoming lovesick pups with no direction of self #“”you've only just arrived“” girl do i need to remind you of driftmark or what #miss haughty and silent judgement alicent hightower??? where are you #the kids miss you #i feel like... the problem is in the execution #not the idea #but that's details of storytelling that i wont get into #why am i saying all this you ask #idk it's late and im thinking senselessly

[frmulcahy]

I cant fucking wait for my Research Methods course this semester because maybe then I’ll finally be able to navigate Jstor and Internet Archive

#jstor #internet archive #I love these websites they also confuse the hell out of me #once I know how to work them tho I’ll be Unstoppable #research rabbit holes my beloved #the adhd is adhding #as an art history major who wants to go on to graduate school for archival studies… IM GONNA NEED TO KNOW HOW TO DO THINGS #or like idk #I say archival studies but also I want to do research IN the archives as well so… #it’s a big mess idk what I’m doing #I just want to learn about things that interest me and share it with others is that so much to ask #so it’s like library science/archival studies vs art history vs history #because I don’t want to do museum studies #I’ll gladly work in the basement of a museum #but I sure as hell don’t want to be a curator or dealing with the general public

[arthur-r]

hi how is everybody doing??

#im ok im a little bit terrified about how i’m graduating in a couple seconds #by which i mean months but it feels that way #and like hooray i get to move away and be transgender and study history and help people and everything i’ve always wanted to do #but also. the kids in my graduating class. i dont know all of them. a lot of them hate me. but at least they’ve been familiar faces #and the idea of going away to a college where nobody knows my name is kind of terrifying #like i know the entire point is to reinvent myself. but isn’t that scary?? i’m going to become somebody new and that terrifies me #anyway i’m so normal regular. in other news i’m about to have a cranberry orange muffin. so wish me luck with that #anyway there’s this girl i kind of like and i kind of wanted to say something but now it’s kind of pointless #she’s going to the u of m. i’m going to wisconsin. that’s just the end of the road isn’t it?? #nothing is strong enough to say anything. but the problem is it’s like this in high school and i go to college and reinvent myself #then what?? i leave college and reinvent myself again!!!! get a masters reinvent myself again!! move towns reinvent myself again!! #struck by the realization that nothing in life is ever permanent except for death. how terrifying is that #anyway i am so normal and regular and cool and good feeling. everything will really truly be okay it’s just #idk. it’s weird being at this stage in my life. didn’t mean to ramble on like that though #so anyway i hope you all are well and would love to know how you are doing. other than this stuff i’m just hanging out #sending all the love to my senior friends who are in this predicament. and my junior friends who aren’t here yet. and whoever else shdhdf #but especially my friends who are my age or like a year older who are in this same kind of soon-to-be-overwritten high school experience #wish you the best of luck finishing and starting over. and try not to take it as seriously as i’m doing its probably not that bad rationally #and so anyway i hope you are doing well and let me know how you’ve been!! hope everybody is okay #ask to tag idk if this was vent territory but it was like. kinda nearly. i can tag with whatever #me. my post. mine. #college talk #(sorry!!) #delete later

[planetamarte]

oh i love how mlp s4 started out i really did love twilicorn actually. castle mane-ia is such a silly episode i love how the show went from awkward bits of not knowing exactly what it wanted to be to embracing itself and taking something previously mentioned offhandedly and turning it into a whole Thing

#talking #like i love how everyone in ponyville just accepts that they live next to a haunted forest w an old ass castle buried deep within #when aj tells dash granny smith told her a scary story abt the castle. idk thats so cute #Babe my grandma practically founded this town theres creepy shit down here. #rares taking flutters to find tapestries she heard were in there. i love them #also the animation got nicer and nicer!!! like the animators got more comfortable and knew what to do as the show went on #the lighting and bgs are super nice here especially #this is all kinda reminding me of my brother and i's adventure time rewatch from last summer #esp since adventure time rly was just doing an entire yes-and'ing improv bit the whole time and ended up being an insane story #mlp was more planned out but like im remembering this thing i saw someone say once #where the whole simon ice king thing came from ice king knowing a marceline song despite them never having met at that point in the show #AKA!!!! i miss longrunning shows that became cultural icons and changed the game for all of history. #bring that shit back #EDIT I FORGOT I WANTED TO ADD THIS: #cmon girls its a nice summer day it's time to explore this creepy ass castle!!!!!!!!!!

[sleebiebear]

nah but on a different note from ocs i didnt think i was into history until recently bc its only specific parts of it. theology ( somewhat unrelatedly but i think this can fall under history bc hey we have BC(E) and AC(E), ) is interesting to me because i identified as an agnostic atheist for a while but i grew up in and still live in a muslim household/family, now i dont identify with either of those labels but thats by the by. rn my major fixation under this topic is the greek pantheon and the gods in mythos because ggggbbg theyrr so cool,,,,,,, i love learning about the gods and different relations and ways people interpreted certain stories over the years bc from what i know there isnt a lot of ‘right and wrong’ when it comes to all of that. its up to interpretation a lot the time. i wanna study all of it i wanna learn all the different stories and g od the art that comes with it all. the statues, the sculptures, the paintings, the architecture,,,, this is just me rambling abt how much i admire greece and its culture now. its such a gorgeous place.

#we went to greece for like two weeks #loved learning the culture n history #hated the time zone difference #made me miserable but everything was so rich with history it was so amazing #i remember telling myself to at least Try and enjoy the trip because #its greece #we will probs not go again for a long time #n i always become a downer on trips bc i hate travelling n changes in atmosphere #but i tried my best on that trip #i took a bunch of photos to rlly set it in stone for myself too #we were in athens for majority of the time i wanna say #it was so fucking hot #but beautiful #everyone there was so pretty too idk what they put in the water there but everyone was gorgeous #we visited athenas temple n saw a bunch of big buildings n statues and grbgfbbg #the art was my favourite #the museum was so cool #we saw a Few museums actually i love museums #the fact that theres no tag limit is so bad for me bc im just talking now

[userdaisy]

if you like the mutual pining trope might i introduce you to the homie shitshow

#light.txt #right so basically this guy and i have been texting for quite some time #at first it was just about music and practice and stuff #but slowly we started talking about more random stuff #like exchanging posts we see which remind us of the other #(eg i send him stuff with the word “homie” and he sends me puns) #and so now we're homies 👍 #but more recently when we chat he says stuff like #“love you too in a really gay way” #“💪 looks like a deformed peanut...... deez nuts” #“its okay [if you cant history] you just need to smoke harder” #“but you are also gay. does that mean i am gay??” #<- a small selection of the large variety of strange things #which is wonderful i love it #so the thing is (if you havent already figured it out) i like him . adn i tjink he likes me back . #which is going to be very interesting because i dont think either of us is going to confess first #but im considering . after i graduate from jc though. which is some time away. #this is all very funny bc i only thought of this possibility last night. im an idiot. #and uh. congrats if you made it this far . im not completely sure if what i think is correct so maybe reply and give me your thoughts? #idk man help :(

[mejomonster]

I know boyfriend and girlfriend could have maybe both been terms for Friends who are just boys or girls (nit lovers), and I know also maybe a boy having a girlfriend was only assumed romantic because a boy interacting close with a girl was assumed romantic, and maybe a girl interacting romantically with a girl was just read as platonic cause well in our modern society definitely there's a trend to assume women who are super friendly or flirty are just Friends by default so who knows if it was the same in history. But then also like how many ladies once upon a time kinda rode on being able to say girlfriend about close friends and lovers and it not being something a stranger would pick up on. Yes I'm aware of how no it was probably just a word for Friends who were girls 20-40 years ago, but also surely lesbians still used girlfriend for lover sometimes. And then I think about an older person I know who was definitely in love with her best girl friend and did everything a lover does and then called her girlfriend just like all her girl friends and like. I just ponder

#rant #this is just me thinkin i am Sure i aint historicallg on point. tho id love to read the history of queer women saying girlfriend #but also like. idk i jnow some older 'straight' women who think sex with other women #is normal and usual and common. and basically full on dated a loy of their past girlfriends #and so girlfriend really was interchangable with lover and friend and like #how since they yhought they were straight all those lovers just got called girlfriend and assumed as #just a friend by other ppl. because u know how ppl are with assuming close women are #just friends just gal pals #like. my mom is one of those ppl and one reason i was both so comfused as a teen and had to come out 7 times to her lol #was she thought my Very Bi crushes and feelings were what all straight ppl felt #so she thought full on. that being gay or straight was a #choice and u just picked based on who u fell in love with. since she assumed most ppl could fall in love with any gender #yes its all very bi shit to think lol. then to top it off she dated some bi men who cheated on her #so she had a lot of internalized biphobia despite dating many women and definitely loving the one #she talks about fondly whenever she brings her up. and my mom in typical toxic masculinity standard lol #(which she very much raised me to adhere to when i was young :c ) thought if she was the receiver she wasnt gay #no offense to my mom but im 90% sure my dad is bi too and she married him. cause like. i know she must have #said to him at some pt in 10 years i kept trying to come out as bi. thar she thought everyone likes every gender by default #so he must have agreed. or else he couldve clarified for her lol no straight ppl do not. #tho my dad is much more private. all i know is they both rec me wonderful queer media. and my dad believes #in loving ur kid just for existing. so i could do nothing for him to ever dislike me. i imagine his catholic upbrining then leaving #shapes a lot of his opinions on love ur kids always. but also i think he just always wanted to be a good dad #anyway tldr i just. wonder how much straight ppl calling friends girlfriends #allowed ppl who didnt know their sexuality to kiss and have sex and explore lovers without the society targeting in on them right away

[hecksupremechips]

Another problematic trait of mine is that I kin Marianne McCollough

#the letter #the letter vn #idk how to explain it i just really clicked with her #i really really like her #i dont think shes my favorite character but shes the one i relate to most #like ah just her being raised catholic and having all these internalized beliefs and shame as a result #shes repressed lesbian #she makes impulsive decisions as a way of self harm #shes a massive nerd about history and shes a weeb #her best friend is a cat #shes a bit of an asshole and is a bit too quick to assume the worst in people #she hates technology #she may not sound problematic from what im saying but like #i feel like shes a character thats very easy to dislike #so youll either hate her or love her no in between #ill neve take Marianne slander though shes my bestie autistic queen

[sunbratz]

as an old dndads frog who doesnt really even ship that much in this fandom, i think everyone is missing the potential for grant and nick.

#delete later #i could be forgetting stuff but #didnt grant literally fall for the first cool boy he saw #im not saying i think theyd last but #im p sure nick is like exactly grants type #plus grant struggling with love makes sense #him having a history of people in his life who arent able to give him the type of love he needs #but mostly he just has to learn to love himself #his dad not able to protect him even though he loved him #yeet not able to fix him by loving him #nick not able to settle down and give him what he wants despite loving him #idk i just think itd be neat! #plus i think theyre the two most similar of the group #but with enough fundamental differences in their family life that butting heads makes sense #i just also see them as fucked up stressed out teenagers smoking weed in nicks bedroom together is all #i dunno i have SO many thoughts about them #yall are missing the potential i need yall to see #theyre my ogs ill go down swinging for them so #its gonna be alright