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#idk what it is idk if it's just bc my mum comes from a waitressing background and basically trained me up behind the scenes
hella1975 · 2 years
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guys i have my trial shift tomorrow and ive never had it before when im actually bothered about the job in a specific way like in the past it's always been about GETTING a job and not really giving a toss where im working so long as im working but this is a place i actually really really want to work and will bummed if i dont get. like it's right by the river and it's a really upmarket bar kind of scene so hopefully i might even get proper training in that area and it'll be my first non-minimum wage job AND i'll get tips (every other job i've had i dont even SEE my tips bc the managers take it even if it's given directly to me) and the hours will be super good and it's fast-paced and yeah. im not actually stressed so much bc a trial shift is a trial shift and yeah it's hard getting used to a new place but i can waitress in my sleep but i just reallyyyyyyyy want the job
#do NOT get me started on the tip thing my god#because basically one thing about me is that my customer service is IMPECCABLE#idk what it is idk if it's just bc my mum comes from a waitressing background and basically trained me up behind the scenes#or if im just naturally good at it but i can really switch it on for customers#the only time i start slipping is when customers are rude but luckily the jobs ive had so far kind of let me get away with that#bc they hated rude customers as much as me and kinda used my temper as their own buffer to get the customers to fuck off lol#but when customers are behaving i absolute SHINE like im being so arrogant about this bc i know for a fact im good at it#like they used to purposely put me on till/front of house bc i had the best customer service out of all of them#including the middle-aged workers who'd been there longer#and my fave barista once told me that he did a little experiment and compared how many tips we got when i was working#vs when i was away at uni and it was actually RIDICULOUS how much more tips i got us#and you know what? my boss would split the tips every few months (whenever he remembered) and he'd weight them#depending on who did what jobs. despite tips being PURELY bc of customer service and nothing to do with jobs#so the chef who could barely grunt at people would get a bigger share of the tips i almost singlehandedly earnt us than i did#so yeah i know for a fact this place does it differently bc they're a lot more professional#and also ive been going there for years now it's just genuinely a really nice place#wish me luck besties#hella slaves to capitalism
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brittapcrrys · 7 months
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this post just making me think abt something for, like, the 10th time today....
this got so fucking long ahhh i am just. justifying all this to myself as im unpacking where the feeings are coming from jsdfkhs glad i have a psych session next week, guess i know what we're gonna talk abt!!
i was rly generally frustrated this afternoon and got a message to pop around for last minute planning for the help/work im doing for mum's friend for the next few weeks. and like yeah i know that it is generally within my range of abilities, i know that most times i help 'em out like this it's Fine and occasionally even Fun, i know that if im Not Well or anything else i can text and say look can't do it today sorry and that'll be accepted!!!
but. whenever i am asked to Do these things (dog sit / dog walk / plant-sit&garden, etc) for "neighbours" and friends there's like......... they KNOW im unemployed and they KNOW i've done it before so there's this feeling of an unspoken expectation that i WILL say yes, i will agree to do it when and as asked.
and ig to some extent it's reasonable for any of them to think 'she's been happy to do it before so there's good odds she'll probably, hopefully, do it again!' and they're never DEMANDING abt it or anything so maybe it is, at least coming from the 'employer' in each case, mostly just ~in my head~ n something i'm seeing/feeling/projecting that's not Actually in there
but idk when i HAVE had jobs in the past (waitress, cleaner, babysitter, tutor, library assistant) if i got ~called in~ the day before i uhhhh could say no. and would say no. and i didn't feel bad abt it i didn't care like i had a (casual, but pre-planned) roster and i've been fortunate enough that saying 'no, i can't' didn't lose me those scheduled shifts or the job as a whole, i know that. but bc this isn't an ~official~ job there's no structure it's just a 'get a text 1wk-to-12hrs before, help a neighbour, get twenty bucks' kinda deal each time it feels like i HAVE TO say yes. if i don't have some other thing already planned, i have to say Yeah Sure or im evil and horrible and the worst and should be ashamed
excepttttttttt i think. a lot of that. comes from my mum lmao always a fun connection to make. bc i made some exasperated comment mostly to myself during that frustrated moment this afternoon and she was like "well what do you mean? why can't you do it? why would you say no? did you WANT to say no? it's not like you have much else going on... it's not even hard why wuold---" etc etc and dad isn't quite so expressive, ever, but less and less so as the PD continues to wear away at him & his speech in more obvious ways, but has similar sentiments. and like.... just bc THEY can't/won't say no to stuff doesn't mean i shouldn't????? mum will say she needs a week to herself and then 10minutes later has agreed to be a TRT (substitute teacher) for 3.5days that week. dad just thinks 'you do a job until it's done. you get asked to do a job, you do that til it's done' and like let's not even THINK abt the way that has worn each of them down physically and emotionally at different times, including now. like they just view Work and the related Expectations/Obligations differently, i guess? whether that's a generational thing, a ND (me) vs NT thing, a 'farmer and air force electrician' and 'lifelong teacher' and 'we both moved out at 16/17 and supported ourselves from that point on / u can't get something from nothing' thing. i have forgotten where this was going jfc
anyway. the dog will be a lil moody if i don't visit her for a couple hours & go for a walk, but she'll be fine. the plants can be watered by someone else, or - esp in the current weather - just miss a day, they'll bounce back later. me doing these things when asked is not, like, the key to holding the fabric of the universe together. nobody's life is gonna come apart at the seams bc i said 'oh, sorry, i won't be able to d that today/this week'.
and i shouldn't actually have to explain why! maybe i have a migraine and can't stand up straight. maybe i'm having a gastrointestinal Hell Episode. maybe i threw up overnight and am still very distressed abt it. maybe i haven't slept in 48hrs. maybe it's windy and im teetering on the verge of a panic attack and rly cannot be outside in it. maybe it's PMDD time and i know i don't have the patience to interact with another being especially not in a way where im solely responsible for it. maybe im bleeding heavily and cramping to the extreme on and off without warning. maybe i haven't been able to get out of bed all week because i just dont want to exist. MAYBE i just! don't! wanna!
and idt it's fair that anyone says or acts in a way that suggests im doing something Very Wrong or Shameful or Disappointing (there's a difference between, 'oh, that's disappointing, but thanks for letting me know' disappointment & 'why would you do that? what are you thinking?' disappointment, which is the kind i mean). is it gonna be fine most times if i agree to it even when i don't rly want to? yes. it's always mostly fine-ish. it's nto abt avoiding it out of anxiety or whatever like im not nervous abt walking this mini daschund that adores me. im not nervous abt watering plants that are essentially the same as my own at home. it's just, like, weighing up 'would doing this likely improve my mood/day? will it probably just be a non-impact kinda deal? what are the odds it makes me / my day worse?' each time (knowing when my psych appts are, when my period is and general mood shifts during my cycle, how my sleep and mood have been in the day/s before the 'shift', weather, etc etc etc) and determining which is likely to be the most effective and useful (or neutral, sometimes) option for me in that case!
and if that reason is just 'ehhh i really just Dont Want It today/tomorrow' that is also fine, actually
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I saw somewhere that you headcanon Ordo as being Autistic, and like… I headcanon that same thing sgahsgsg. I was curious, however, as to what specific things he does that made you think that? (Also, it autocorrected Ordo to Oreo and just agahsdn I’m done lol)
:DDD oh boy oh boy this is the exact kind of ask that makes my brain go brrrrr it is just so happifying when people ask you questions instead of you just dumping a bunch of words in their lap unasked for and hoping they wanted to hear them in the first place XD ahem anyways hold up i've gotta breathe before i answer this i'm so excited
okay so i'm actually. going to tag @trashcanmando bc she actually has Intelligent Things to say about this XD and also she was the person who brought up the idea and made me realize that that's what i'd been thinking the whole time. but for me - like i alluded to, idk if i ever explicitly think 'oh ordo is autistic' when i'm reading the books, but like. there's just this underlying feeling of connection i have with him in a way that i don't have with the other characters. he's so blunt and practical and has such a hard time with - i mean there's two things that happen when i was first introduced to him that i vibed with so hard the first is
ordo just walloping maze in the face twice in a row and walking out of the building like it's no big deal and bardan have to sit there next to him and go 'um ordo that was...kind of a lot' and ordo just doesn't get it (also when maze comes back later and wallops ordo and ordo is just completely poker-faced and 'yeah that's fair' about it - anyways) and the second is
ordo getting flirted with and having exactly 0 clue that that's what's happening but being uncomfortably aware that something weird is going on with the waitress - and the way kal reacted by making light of the situation and easing ordo away from it teasingly - that is what my mum does with me in so. many. social situation where i don't know what's going on and start panicking
oh and bonus was him bodyslamming fi with, again, 0 facial expression beforehand XD idk, just put him next to atin, who has a similar temperament, and there's just - something a little different about ordo that goes beyond 'stoic and quiet', to my mind at least
and i mean those are just first impressions, but there are so many other little things - him proposing to besany and then immediately going 'okay let's get married right now' with 0 facial expressions or indication that he cares at all. and then there's details like how his brothers don't care as much about having their helmets off around strangers, but ordo doesn't like it at all. and just the way he's described as not smiling or understanding that he needs to smile, or that he needs to, you know, talk. and the way he has to be helped in new social situations and also doesn't seem to do a very good job with figuring out how to apply the rules across different situations - and he also doesn't seem to notice physical appearances the way other people do, if i'm honest; not just in the way he sees besany
he's just....he's different; he thrives in situations where he knows what is expected of him and feels like he understands what the parameters are, but take him out of his comfort zone and he has so much more difficulty adapting to the changes and new rules than his brothers do...also he often seems pretty uncomfortable with emotions but not in sev’s ‘i am a hard tough soldier and you’d better remember it’ way, more in a ‘i have no idea what to do here’ way (see: everything surrounding the Drama with etain and darman and also every time etain tries to get him to actually talk about his feelings or his childhood)
basically i relate very hard to him in very specific ways, so i just. vibe XD i would love to hear your thoughts, anon!!!!
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