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#idk what this is just felt like writing it
acheronist · 3 days
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to the ghost of henry peglar, congrats on writing your poem down 177 years ago!!!
to the actual academic scholars who have studied the pages before me....
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so I took the royal museum greenwich's scan of the poem page (which is available online hereeee) and screwed around with its light levels in photoshop until henry's script was darkened enough to see more clearly. then I digitally traced over the darkened letters as best as I could, while also trying to discern his handwriting, and type up how I was reading it & this process took me about a week to get done between like... living my regular day to day life lmao.......
so when it WAS done, the final isabel acheronist peglar papers ["the open C"] transcript seemed a bit different than how I remembered the readily available russell potter transcript going ? (the poem is on the last two pages of that pdf for those of you who don't spend a billion hours a week looking at it btw)
it felt like I was getting more/different information out of it, compared to the potter transcript, which was kind of stressing me out honestly. so THEN I compared mine with barry cornwall's original poem and found more words that matched up? particularly in the second and third stanzas?
so!!!!! almost two hundred years later here's what I've landed on:
April 21 1847 the C the C the open ) ( it grew so fresh the Ever free the Ever free the Ever free without it without it covered it will Run to Earth above Re gions Round I love the C I love the C when I whare & I wish to be with and and silence whare Never go if a sailor should a Come and Make the meek What matter what matter Come Ride Or Sleep there was shores white and of red morn at the noisy hours knew I was ever near I was Born the [...] in felt Unto the Maid the wale the young dolphin ...... yet thes back of gold the Call of gods When I was on Old England Shore I like the young C more and more oftentimes time flew to a sweltering place like a bird thats seeks it mother Case and ware she was bird oft to me for have I loved a young and Hopen C
so then after going thru All Of That, I wanted to have a version of the original poem with parts that Henry did remember clearly highlighted for comparison purposes:
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I know it's a popular theory that Henry was writing a dirty parody of the original poem? which if true, is funny as hell. me when i have to write cheeky victorian porn before i die.
But (serious voice) something about that hadn't ever seemed exactly right to me... IN MY HEART it seems more realistic that around 1847 he (and also by extension, the whole surviving expedition crew) were starting to experience confusion / brain fog symptoms from being ummmm quite physically unwell. the lead poisoning/scurvy combo would have severe effects on the brain's ability to function properly, and I started to wonder if Henry was trying to test his memory somehow? So he picked a widely known and popular Victorian era poem about being a sailor to see how much he could recall??? and he then got a little whimsical with it, and wrote in his own words to fill in the portions he couldn't fully recall, because it's his own diary and likely didn't expect anyone else to ever read it, much less have it turn into ONE of TWO surviving sources about the expedition?????
like... idk... this is probably the work of someone in the exact moment as they were starting to realize how bad things were, and then was trying to cope by using poetry. and That hurts my feelings enough as it is, but going through it was also just a very weird and haunting experience....... like, I can recognize all these tiny details in this dead guy's script and handwriting now. and to read his own account of his life in his own words, what stood out to him and what he recalled, what he wanted people in the future to know about him? insane. it literally felt like i was getting haunted by him for no reason. on top of knowing that Someone (#teamarmitage) loved this guy enough to keep his memory protected and safe, even though They Were So Totally Fucked And Going To Die There, unknowing if they'd ever be found again........
SIGHING + SIGHING + SIGHING + SIGHING + CRYING A BIT HONESTLY
anyways thanks for reading this all. I don't think that this is revolutionary franklin expedition news by any means, and idk if there's a better different transcript somewhere that i've not found that already covers all this? but it's consumed a lot of my life lately lol and i wanted to share. because its the anniversary of henry writing it, and it felt...... important....? 💌....????
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madaqueue · 2 days
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then beg
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pairing: suguru geto x f!reader
a/n: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK srry guys idk what came over me when i was writing this (i need him so bad)
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you aren’t sure how much longer you can hold out, your teeth biting down into your lower lip so hard you could nearly taste blood.
“c’mon now, sweetheart, just one little word and this’ll all be over,” your boyfriend purrs above you, his black hair cascading over his shoulders and tickling your bare skin.
you shake your head no, grasping onto any remaining pieces of resolve, collecting the shreds of your determination, to last just one more minute - that’s all you need, you try to reassure yourself.
truthfully, you never thought you’d be the one in this position - after all, it was you who originally made the bet with suguru.
you had put up with enough of his teasing, enough of being called ‘needy’ for just wanting to kiss him, and today you decided to stand up for yourself.
when he walked into your apartment, he just looked so perfect in his work clothes, his dress shirt rolled up above his elbows, his bangs falling across his forehead, how could you not want to fuck him on the spot?
“you’re so sweet when you’re all desperate like this,” he chuckles as you paw at his belt before he even has a chance to get his shoes off.
“suguru, i’m not that desperate,” you huff, stepping back and crossing your arms over your chest in defiance.
"oh yeah?" he tilts his head in amusement. "you couldn’t even wait ten minutes from when i got home, you needed me to fuck you so bad.”
“yeah. and you know what? i’ll prove it,” you state confidently. “ten minutes. i bet you i can go ten minutes without you fucking me.” 
“you’ve got yourself a deal, angel,” he smirks, slowly waltzing over to you. his hands meet your waist, his touch sending shockwaves through you as his palms kneed the soft flesh of your ass.
“d-deal,” you stammer, conviction beginning to waver as he leans over, placing wet kisses along your neck.
and now, it’s been nine minutes of geto cruelly teasing you, bringing you to the brink of your release before pulling back.
he rubs his cock over your slick folds, the pressure driving you insane as you rut your hips up off the bed, craving anything more he’s willing to give you.
but, of course, he was not going to lose so easily.
“you poor needy thing,” he coos, watching you writhe in agony below him. “i told you, all you have to do is say ‘please’ and i’ll fuck you.”
it was becoming too much, the constant taunting and temptation overwhelming you. your body felt like it was on fire, everywhere he touches igniting new flames.
before you can stop yourself, your lips move on their own.
“please,” you blurt out weakly.
“what was that, princess? couldn’t quite hear you,” he teases, holding a hand up to his ear.
“please, pleasepleasepleaseplease,” you babble desperately, “please fuck me, please suguru, please.”
with your eyes tightly shut you can’t see the way he grins, more than happy to give into your demands.
without a moment of hesitation he thrusts into you easily, a moan escaping your lips as you finally get what you had been craving. your warm walls envelop him as your eyes nearly roll back, your pussy beginning to clench around him.
“h-hah,” he whispers, “don’t tell me you’re gonna cum already, i knew you were desperate but fuck.”
his words sound fuzzy, far away; right now, all you can feel is him, the fullness, the stretch, the sweet burning pleasure of his cock inside you. after what felt like an eternity of being denied it, you get suddenly pushed over the edge of your orgasm.
“p-please,” you moan, the words aimlessly tumbling out of your mouth, “please, please.”
your vision goes white as your entire body shakes, racked with wave after wave of ecstasy. broken pleas continue to fill the room, and you’re not even sure what you’re begging for anymore, you just know that you need more.
as you come down from your high, you finally open your eyes to meet suguru’s, a glimmer of desire in his dark irises.
you feel his thumb stroke the tears off your face that you hadn’t realized were falling before he wipes the drool that had pooled at the corner of your open mouth away. he kisses you messily, his tongue easily sliding between your parted lips, his cock still buried inside you.
“you really are needy,” he breathes in awe through a smirk, “but since you asked so nicely, i’ll keep fucking you like the desperate slut you are, how’s that sound?”
blinking up at him through glazed-over eyes, you nod. “please?”
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faithshouseofchaos · 13 hours
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I might have an you thought of writing any name!reader fics it would be cool. I love reading them. idk if you like writing that, tho .it's ok if you don't want to.
Maybe Max and reader are both drivers and the tension in their eyes every time they see each other. And in a moment we're they were both alone in the garage things got kinda crazy 🫣
-🦈
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(I love this gif of max) Head cannons
I’ll come back to this and make a fic later 😭😭
You and max had the crazy amount of tension
It was palpable
Every one could feel it
And every suffered from the two of you
The other drivers and and lot of the fans
Often said that the two of you should just fuck and all will be well again
That thought of letting max touch any part of your body made your skin crawl
Yeah he was hot and post race Max had you feeling things
The messy hair the flushed cheeks
He was your rival
And yet you wanted him to fuck you
He was still your rival so you pushed those feelings aside
You became snarky and Bratty when you were around Max
It was you defense mechanism trying to keep Max away from you
Max felt the same way about you
When you weren’t paying attention his eyes were glued on you
He thought about it
Dragging you into drivers room and having his way with you
Especially when you became snarky and bratty towards him
It pissed him off
GP would catch Max staring at you and he would tease Max about it
It drove Max crazy thinking about all the things he wanted to do to you
Max couldn’t take it anymore if he was being honest
The time finally arrived when the Red Bull garage was cleared
It was just you and max
Max sitting across from you
He hadn’t noticed you staring at him I’m he looked up
You quickly looked away blushing
You weren’t aware of max
Until he was standing in front of you
“Max what are you doing?” You asked
“Just shut up” Max grumble leaning down kissing you
All the pent up frustration and sexual tension it finally coming out
When Max finally pulled away so the two of you could catch your breath
Both of you were flushed and breathing heavily
Max pulls you up from your seat and pushes you against the wall
And kisses you again hungrily and feverishly
Then the next thing you knew max was fucking you against the wall of the garage
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genderlessdude92 · 8 hours
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PRECIOUS
SMALL LIL’ ANGST—>FLUFF FIC
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PAIRINGS: Alastor x Reader
SUMMARY: You and Alastor get into a fight because you’re just worried he got hurt after a fight with Vox. He snaps at you and…well, you isolate yourself. whoopsies!
WARNINGS: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship dynamics (but they both love each other dw), Intense emotional distress, Language, Potential Triggers, Donestic conflict. (MAJOR FLUFF AT THE END THOUGH!!! ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP!!!) They were a couple alive too if you don’t mind idk i suck at writing- USAGE OF Y/N I ALMOST FORGOT AHHH- Lmk if i missed anything :3
NOTICE: please don't steal/copy/translate my work. But thanks for liking it, though!! ^^
WORDS: 1.7k
Enjoy!!~
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“Alastor, are you serious?!” You yelled as Alastor started to walk away from you, mid conversation.
Alastor had just gotten into a big fight with Vox, luckily survived, though. The frustrating part is, he won’t even let you heal him. Or know what the battle was even about?!
Which made you really, really paranoid.
“Alastor, don’t walk away from me, that’s rude.” You caught up with him and began to match his pace and he walked to the halls of the hotel to lucifer knows where. “We need to talk about this.” You say firmly. “I’m going to find out one way or another.” You add, raising your voice slightly.
Alastor stopped walking and turned around to face you. He was looking down at you, which always made you feel so small. Even if he wasn’t actually looking at you, you could still feel it.
“Well, then.” His voice was calm, but a hint of annoyance was there. “Aren’t you just invested in my little public hiccup.”He crossed his arms, waiting for your response.
“Yes I am. And I think we should talk about it, instead of you getting defensive.” You looked him dead in the eye and kept talking. “And why you didn’t tell me.” Your voice went quieter again.
Alastor hid a chuckle, “I thought you would care more about me surviving, than knowing how many lives I took today.” He raised his eyebrow, mocking you. “Or maybe, I don’t want to share this kind of information with someone who will judge me for it.” He was now fully annoyed by you.
You stepped closer to him, trying to keep him from leaving again. “Alastor, please stop. I’m just trying to help. I don’t…” You trailed off nervously. “I don’t want us fighting.”
Alastor smirked at you, “Oh, don’t worry love. We aren’t fighting. Yet.” His tone was harsh and he leaned down to look you in the eyes. “But I will if you continue to harass me about this.”
You felt yourself start to panic, but tried your best to hide it. “I’m sorry Alastor, I just…” You couldn’t finish your sentence, as he interrupted you.
“No. Don’t ‘just’ anything. You know I hate that word.” He said with a cold smile. “Now leave me alone before I get upset with you.”
“…You know,” You began, standing in your place as Alastor walked away, “You should at least act like you care about my opinion, maybe act like a husband, as well.” You snapped back, but in a more calm, collected tone. (minus the shakiness in your voice.)
“That’s rich coming from you.” Alastor snapped back, turning around to face you again. “What did I ever do to deserve such a self-righteous wife?” He raised his voice a bit, but not enough for others to hear. “How dare you assume things about me without even asking. How dare you come here and make demands of me. How dare you try to control me.” He continued yelling, walking towards you. “You have no right to tell me what to do! I don’t have to explain myself to you!”
“I’m not trying to control you. I’m just saying, maybe you could at least consider what I have to say sometimes…” You tried to say bravely, but failed at the end. You felt so small. So insignificant.
You felt like nothing.
Alastor was now right in front of you, towering above you. His height and stature were intimidating, but his voice was worse. It was rough and demanding, making you feel like you weren’t worth anything. “You are nothing, nothing compared to me.” He sneered. “I don’t give a damn about what you think. What you say. What you do. You’re just a pathetic little sinner who has no idea what real power feels like. You’re not worthy of my time. You’re not worthy of my attention. You’re not worthy of my love.” He spat out the last word like it tasted sour in his mouth.
His words were cutting through your heart, and you couldn’t take it anymore.
You dashed away to the nearest staircase, needing to get to your office. Your only safe space.
***
It has been about a week now since the fight you and Alastor had.
It had also been a week since you came out of your office.
You didn’t really leave your office because, one, it had a fridge of food and other things. Two, you had a makeshift bed with the couch. And three, why would you even go out there?
Only problem is, you’ve cried everyday, and that made you feel like complete imp-shit.
You really wanted to see Alastor, but you knew it wouldn’t end well.
You also didn’t want to be around anyone else, either.
***
Alastor was a gentleman to all women who deserved so.
An example he would give you is Rosie. He’s a gentleman to her because she’s nice to him and has manners. She deserves it.
But, if he was near Velvette, he would call her cruel names and shred all her ‘designer masterpieces’.
But, now he was confused.
What happened with Y/N?
He had never fought like that with her before no, usually she would be next to him in bed right now.
He was starting to miss her.
…he needed to give her an apology.
But he knew he wasn’t good with words.
So, he brainstormed.
“I could probably give her a heart…” He thought, stepping out of bed and pondering for a moment, “…no, no….maybe…some flowers?…” he looked over to his bayou. “…Allergies.”
He slumped onto his armchair and looked around his room for any ideas at all.
“…maybe some candy? No.” He thought, “She doesn’t eat much sweets.”
He sat there for a while longer, thinking.
Then it hit him.
***
You heard footsteps outside your door, and immediately froze. You looked around your room for any escape route, and found none. You decided to sit back down on your couch, and began to wait for whoever was there to leave.
The footsteps stopped outside your door, and a knock sounded out. “Y/N, open the door.” Alastor’s voice was stern and commanding. “I know you’re in there.” He added.
You opened the door slowly, and peeked out to see who it was.
“Hello, darling.” Alastor said with a warm smile. “Can I come in?”
You just stared at him, saying nothing
‘fuck’, he thought, ‘i caused this.”
“Y/N, I just want to apologize.” He finally said, breaking the silence. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I was wrong.”
“…you don’t mean that.” You replied, still not moving.
“I do mean it, darling. Please jsut…let me in.” Alastor said sincerely, taking a step forward.
You hesitated for a moment, then moved aside to let him in. He closed the door behind him and stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, unsure of what to do or say next.
Then, your eyes wandered to the large picture album he was holding to his side.
“Alastor…what’s that?” You asked, taking a step back cautiously.
“…it’s our picture album.” He looked at you, remaining calm. “…from…when we were alive. You know, with all those crappy photos.” He smiled softly.
You looked up at him, “…I’m scared.”
Alastor knew exactly why, as well.
He sighed, “I promise…I will keep myself contained if i ever, ever lash out like that… ever again.” He claimed, tears building up in his eyes.
“What i said back there was not true at all. You are everything to me, you are worth so much, and most of all, I love you.” He dropped the book to the floor and held out his arms to hug you.
You didn’t move, “…I don’t want to be here…” You said, letting a tear fall.
He nodded, “That’s okay, dear, let’s go to our room, okay?” He reassured, picking the book back up and holding you tight to his waist as the shadows consumed you both, talking you to his room.
***
You and Alastor missed this.
Limbs tangled together in bed, holding each other close, breathing in each other’s scents, you wish you had this sooner.
Alastor flipped a page of the album, “Oh look,” He noticed, pointing his claws to the first picture in the album, “It’s our cat, oh, what was his name again?” He asked, looking at you.
You were still crying.
He took a deep breath, “Y/n,” he exhaled, “It’s okay, dear…please don’t think about it.”
You looked at him, “w-what?” you said, wiping your cheek.
He ran a claw through your hair, “Nothing.” He said, smiling softly.
You put your head on his shoulder, “Okay,” you mumbled into his chest, closing your eyes and enjoying his scent.
He stroked your hair, “Do you remember our wedding day?” He asked.
You shook your head, “…no, I don’t…it was too long ago…” you said, sniffling.
He kissed the top of your head, “That’s alright, sweetheart, we have plenty of time to talk about it.” He assured you, pulling you closer to him.
You closed your eyes, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. You felt safe in his arms. Safe and loved.
Alastor flipped the pages until he found the wedding pictures, “Oh, here we are. Look, see how my mother walked you through the aisle?” He rubbed the picture with his thumb, rethinking back the memory.
“…yeah…I remember now…” You snuggled closer into him, trying to control your ragged breathing.
“…just breathe daring.” He reminded you, “Look here, you see how much you’ve changed?” He laughed softly, flipping another page, “See here? Here you are at our anniversary dinner, you wore that beautiful dress that made your legs look amazing.” He blushed lightly, “I remember you told me I was the only one allowed to see it.”
You giggled, “…that was a joke, silly.” You said, opening your eyes and smiling up at him.
“Ah, yes, I know.” He smiled back,
“…You’re so precious to me, y’know that?” He said, leaning down and kissing your forehead.
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NOTES: Idk what i was thinking when i made this fic erm…! Idk I’ve been going thru some shit rn but I’ve gotta impress the community because the notes/likes/comments/reblogs on my posts aren’t doing to good rn!! Oh no!!! (that is a sign from my greedy ass) And i just started a multi-chapter fic so like idk why i’m typing this- support is appreciated. BAI!!![![![11!
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MASTERLIST LINK
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dazai-ritualist · 3 days
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Ok so another part to your yandere alastor series?! Im like obsessed with them, i love the way you write Alastor!!
So an idea i guess? I love the idea Alastor slowly corrupting his kids and reader trying her best to correct them? Obviously she can’t. Idk, i can see Al wanting his son carry on his legacy while his daughter is becomes a sweet but strong woman who can probably destroy your life in a matter of minutes. I just want his kids to get corrupted to become like him!! 😭
IN A MOURNING WARNING, NO ONE HEARD
[hold up! read the rest of the story first!]
— day by day, alastor ruined your children with his malicious thoughts, while you set them straight. it’s as if evil and good decided to fight their battle in your house.
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every day in this house was a headache. sleeping beside the monster called husband every night, him cuddled up to your side as if he hadn’t broken your hopes for years. acting in front of your children as if everything was fine— that they had parents who were madly in love with each other. and, raising your children. of course, raising them in itself is difficult, but alastor seems to just enjoy making your life a hell on earth.
implanting evil thoughts into your babies’ minds, and there was no one else but you to fix his mess. to instill morals in their minds, and to make sure they grow up to be diligent and kind.
sitting down at the dinner table seemed to grow harder and harder each day. resisting the urge to vomit as your son told you and alastor of how he found a rat at school, and how he had cut its’ tail off to see if it’d regrow like a lizard. the image of your little boy being so cruel made you sick to your stomach. and, alastor, he’d done nothing but laugh. “oh, my! quite the experiment, my boy!” he chuckled as he took another bite of his food. “now, dear… that isn’t very nice, don’t you think?” you frowned. “mmh, but dad said that i should feed my curiosity!” noah pouted.
“well, dad is true on that. but, you shouldn’t feed your curiosity if it hurts other people or animals.” you said, lecturing him. “au contraire, my love.” alastor interrupted. “id say that curiosity is one of the most important human emotions! how else do you think mankind discovered to hunt and cook chicken, pork, beef…” he rambled. “they are good for the body, aren’t they? they give the body protein so that they’re strong and so they can protect the people they love! don’t you want our little boy to protect his friends and family?” he raised an eyebrow. “yeah, momma! so that i can protect you and emilia!” noah said.
you felt your heart crack at his words. it seemed as if there was no hope in undoing what alastor had done. as if the little boy you worked hard to raise died. but, maybe there was still hope for your daughter.
“oh, and dad!” noah said excitedly as he looked to alastor. “my friends think its so cool that we go hunting, and they wanna join too! can we bring them, please?” noah begged, bringing alastor’s amusement. “aw, they want to join us? hm, i suppose we could, but only if they’re as well-behaved as you!” he hummed, to noah’s delight. “really?! you’re the best, dad!” noah grinned, running to alastor to loosely hug him by the neck. “yes, yes… now, go finish your meal. your mother worked hard to cook that, and it won’t taste so good when it’s cold.” he said, patting his son on the head.
you zoned out, staring at your daughter in her chair, playing with her food, and scratching the bowl with her little fork. she giggled and talked to herself, before blood started flowing from her nose. “oh, dear…” you muttered under your breath, running to the kitchen to get a tissue paper. “eww! momma, emilia is drinking her own blood! yuck!” noah called out, scrunching his face in disgust. and, when you returned, emilia was, indeed, drinking her own blood— licking her top lip as the blood leaked, and smiling at the metallic taste in her mouth. “oh, emi, sweetie… don’t do that. blood is yucky.” you scolded your daughter as you wiped the blood from her nose.
“yummy!” she shouted, licking her lip for the remains. alastor grinned at her comment, “i couldn’t agree more, baby!” he laughed, swaying the water in his glass. “not right now, alastor. emi is bleeding.” you huffed out in a frustrated manner. “ah, i suppose you’re right, darling. emi, baby, are you okay?” he cooed to your daughter across the table. “i’m okay, daddy!” she grinned, going back to eating as per usual, despite the roll of tissue in her nostril.
“are you okay, my love?” alastor asked, his eyes moving to you. “i’m alright, just exhausted today.” you let out, keeping your emotions and intentions to yourself. “hmm, then why don’t you rest after dinner, dear? noah and i can wash the dishes.” he assured you. “wah?! but, dad, i wanna go play!” noah huffed and pouted. “now, son… protecting also means to help others when they are tired. don’t you wanna help momma?” he asked your son. and as noah thought it over, alastor spoke again, giving him more of an incentive. “now, i hate to do this… but, if you don’t help your mother, i won’t bring your friends to hunt.” noah’s eyes widened at the unfairness. “what?!” he frowned. “guh, fine, ill do the dishes!” he pouted, gathering the cleared dishes and bringing them to the sink. “hmph, good boy.” he grinned. “go rest now, dear.”
and, as you went up the stairs, that moment finally dawned on you. that hunting with his friends and father meant so much to him, he was willing to do household chores. it shattered your heart as tears filled your eyes— why couldn’t you go back to a simpler time? when it was just the two of you. when all you had was each other.
“momma, i missed you!” noah said hugging your legs as you returned from work. “aw, i missed you too, baby!” you smiled at your precious boy. “c’mon! i wanna play with you!” he said, attempting to pull you by your wrist. “in a second, sweetie! momma has to take off her heels!” you laughed.
that memory was 6 years ago.
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melrosing · 3 days
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Do you think Jaime sincerely regrets what he does to Bran despite only thinking of it once?
ya of course. I think something that maybe needs to be said more often (particularly regarding Jaime’s POV but also broadly applies to others) is that you are not always going to see a character doing the workings that lead them from point A to point B. you have to fill in some of the gaps yourself and surmise the changes in thinking that have taken place offscreen.
The Jaime and Bran thing is a good example of this. we can gather from the scene in which the push takes place that this isn’t something Jaime wanted to do, but felt compelled to: he helps Bran up when he initially falls, and when he asks Bran his age etc a reader can gather when rereading the scene that this is Jaime trying to make time as he deliberates what he’s going to do next. then ‘the things I do for love’ is said with ‘loathing’. already we have plenty to determine that Jaime was not happy w this line of action, but felt he needed to take it.
then we get the AGOT-early ASOS scenes where Jaime comes across as a cut and dry villain and does nothing to help himself, half-jesting to Bran’s own mother about what he did and demonstrating no remorse whatsoever. shocking on first read but a rereader should be able to go back based on what they learn of Jaime later on and realise that he talks differently to what he feels, and maintains this darkly careless front specifically to avoid digging up his true feelings on difficult subjects. this is made apparent over and over again.
then there’s a big gap where Bran is neither mentioned nor thought about by Jaime, when suddenly right towards the end of the book he declares himself ashamed of what he did. so now the reader realises that Jaime has been thinking about what he did, even whilst we haven’t read those thoughts. and then looking at how the act was performed in the first place, we can realise he’s always been ashamed of what he did, has just been telling himself and others differently for his own complex reasons.
I think there are a lot of people who can’t accept that character work sometimes takes place off the page as well as on it, and a character won’t always declare every step they take in a new direction, but sometimes a certain line here or there will tell you that that work has been taking place. if executed well, this is just good writing: it’s boring having the writer spell everything out for you, good books should feel like you’re working with the writer to build the full story.
a lot of people do want it spelt out though lol, you see that a lot with discussions re Jaime, because I’d say he’s maybe the most ‘show don’t tell’ character in the series. and like I always say this isn’t fuckin Paradise Lost or whatever you do not need a degree to crack it but idk like. reading is a skill?? spend any amount of time in asoiaf fandom and truly u will realise that some people just. well they haven’t honed that skill yet lol
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useramor · 2 days
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honestly as a lifelong fan, I enjoyed the back half more (the bonus tracks). some of the songs were her usual quality and some felt like she was trying too hard to sound poetic idk. will be bopping to at least several of the songs for sure. but idk music sounds really different when you’re entrenched in the artists style vs when you’re not and a lot of lyrics sound dumb out of context for any artist. so short answer yes I liked it as a sad slow music enjoyer but I can understand why others didn’t.
see i am a sad slow music enjoyer and i used to like taylor (folklore and evermore era. i hosted a speak now tv listening party with my cousin. some of the songs on folklore are among my all time favs across artists!) but midnights and now ttpd feel so. cash grabby. she said she felt a need to write this new album but not all art needs to be released. sometimes you can write poetry just for the sake of getting the emotion out, getting the feelings out. it’s too long of an album for all the songs to be genuinely and consistently good especially considering how she’s been favoring quantity over quality recently. more songs = more streams i guess. if she had picked the 12 songs that were genuinely good, that were honest and heart wrenching then maybe every release wouldn’t be so upsetting. i really did like her, i haven’t always been anti taylor but she’s not creating art for the sake of art anymore. she’s creating for the sake of capitalism and you can tell. back to back to back albums all with 20+ mediocre tracks and 1 or 2 that are actually good. taylor swift, who’s been a beloved artist and who’s been known for her writing skills since her debut, is doing to her music what tiktok artists do to theirs, almost. write one good line or chorus or bridge and then that snippet will go viral and people will listen to get to that moment. it’s so cheap i guess. and sad, too. that hitting streaming records and being the biggest artist and collecting those billions became more important than putting out work than means anything.
everyone’s entitled to enjoying whatever they like, but i would be so disappointed as a fan if the quality was consistently dropping the way it is. i mean, i AM disappointed because i WAS a fan. just feels upsetting.
also, i do think she made a major mistake titling the album ‘the tortured poets department’ because that implies hozier level lyricism. ethel cain level lyricism. hell, at the very least evermore level lyricism. but she didn’t deliver, which is why i think people have been side eyeing her lyrics more than normal. big name. tortured poets department is a lot to live up to, and she didn’t. if the album was titled something else maybe i wouldn’t even be so shocked at the writing to be honest because i wouldn’t be actively expecting actually good poetry.
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morgana-larkin · 2 days
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Mwahahaha hi I’m back to test your limits. I LOVED Want You Back sooo much. Can I request an alternate ending tho?? Where Mel apologizes and we’re like “oh cool thank u but I can’t believe u were willing to throw away a long term relationship without even talking ab it or letting me explain idk if I can trust u again what if something else triggers u and u just run away without making room for a conversation” and she’s like o shit ur right idk I promise never to do it again and we’re like idk bro u kinda broke my trust. And then BOOM. Sad ending. Maybe we fuck first and then decide in the end that we don’t wanna get back together w her. MWAHAHAHA
🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️. So I’ll be honest, I started writing this thinking there’ll be a whole lot of angst, turns out it only starts with angst then just becomes sad. I don’t know where it came from but apparently my brain deemed heartbreak, so I was like “ok brain” and just went with it. It starts off a bit before the smut part in the original. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!
On another note: I got more prompts I’m getting through, you can keep sending them and I’m adding Marilyn Thornhill to the list of characters I write for.
Ti amo - I love you
Want You Back - Alternate Ending
Warnings: Alright where to start *checks notes*… angst and no comfort, no fluff, sad Mel, brief car accident mention, just angst and fluff, no happy ending, smut, good luck
Words: 4.1k
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“Then what are you apologising for?”
“For 6 years ago, making a big mistake.”
“Wha-”
“I read your note.” She says, cutting you off. “I should have listened to you but I was just so angry that I couldn’t think.” She tells you and looks at you with guilt. “The real reason I said no to Gary is because I didn’t want to be with him because I still have feelings for you. And I felt so guilty about how I reacted and I unblocked your number when I got home after reading your note and read all the texts and I wanted to find you or contact you but I had no way of doing that.” And a few tears slip down her cheeks.
“I haven’t moved on, you know. I’ve forgiven you for that night but I haven’t gotten over you.” You say and Melissa is looking at you with wide puffy eyes. “I tried, I ended up living with a girlfriend for a year. But then she broke up with me when she wanted more and I didn’t. Said I was emotionally unavailable. Which I guess is true, you can’t develop big feelings for someone if your heart belongs to someone else.” You said and the look on Melissa’s face said it all.
“Who does your heart belong too?”
“You.” Melissa sucked in a breath. “When I saw you standing there in the break room after 6 years, I couldn’t believe it, and you still look beautiful and stunning.” She let out an airy laugh.
“You as well, you still look so damn beautiful. My heart belongs to you too.” Melissa then gets up and walks over to you and crouches next to you and holds your hand and you look down at her. “I want to be with you again, if you’ll have me.” She asks and you look at her.
A few tears slip down your face and you look away. “I do want to be with you again Mel but I can’t.” You tell her and she looks at you with wide eyes.
“What do you mean?” She asks, still full of hope that you’ll take her back.
“I mean I can’t.” You tell her and look at her. “You sacrificed a happy relationship and didn’t even think about anything or let me explain. You read my note and that’s when you finally knew you fucked up. If you let me explain that night then we might still be happily together now.” You tell her and she looks down at the floor with guilt. The hope she had fading away the more you talk. She brings your hand to her mouth and kisses it. She puts her other hand on yours and has yours in between both of hers.
“Please, let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything.” She says with tears running down her face and choking on her words.
“I really want to Mel, truly. But could you promise me that what happened won’t happen again? Can you promise that you won’t ever blow up at me and break up with me without letting me explain. I do love how passionate you are and how jealous you can be. It’s very sexy.” You tell her and you put your other hand on her cheek and wipe away her tears, she leans into your touch. “But you chose to let your jealousy take over instead of your love for me that night.” You tell her and she nods with a bunch of tears on her face.
“I’m so sorry y/n.” She tells you and she’s full on crying now. You get up and lean down to hug her. She grips onto you and puts her head on your shoulder and continues crying on you.
“I know Mel, I know.” You tell her and you rub her back soothingly. After a few minutes she calms down and leans her head on your chest near your heart.
“I really fucked up. If I were you, I wouldn’t forgive me either.” She tells you.
“I told you I forgive you Mel, but I didn’t forget. I need to protect my heart.” You tell her and she nods. Then an idea pops into your head. “When we get out of here, maybe we both need closure.” You tell her and she blinks a few times before she understands what you mean and lifts her head up.
“Are you saying we should have sex one last time?” She asks and you nod.
“It’s ok if you say no, it’s just a thought.” You tell her and she wipes away her tears.
“I like that idea.” She tells you and you nod.
“Ok, your place after school or mine?” You ask.
“Mine.” She tells you and you nod. Melissa moves to lean against a wall, legs up and arms around them, hugging herself. You on the other hand went to lean against the door. Legs up but head back on the door. “You shouldn’t have your weight on it in 2 hours or you’ll fall when they open it.” She tells you and you look at her.
“I know.” You tell her. “I’ll move before they do.” You say, except you fall asleep and you do indeed fall back when they open it. Fall back with a “ah.” Splayed on the floor with everyone looking at you. Melissa slowly moves her head to look at you.
“I told you not to lean all your weight on it.” She tells you.
“Ya ya.” You tell her and you get up and then tell them all a good night and walk to your car.
Barb looks to you leaving then to Melissa who’s still curled up on the floor. She walks over to her and bends down, Melissa shakes her head, fresh tears coming down her face. Barb wraps an arm around her shoulders and rubs the shoulder furthest from her. “She said she forgave me for that night but said she can’t get back together with me. She said she has to protect her heart.” She says through sobs.
“I’m so sorry Melissa.” Barb says and everyone looks at her with sorry expressions.
“I understand, I made a huge mistake that night that I shouldn’t have. I mean I should have let her explain why that guy was kissing her but I didn’t. I mean he forced it on her and she was trapped and what did I do? I didn’t protect her, instead I yelled at her and broke up with her.” Melissa says, so much guilt that she carries.
“Melissa, you had no idea it was forced on her.” Barb says. “I mean you were at the table when she went to get the drinks. You didn’t see anything except the kiss.”
“I know but I loved her, I still do. I should have let her explain. I mean she tried but I kept pushing her off, I’m such an idiot.” She says and cries again, this time on Barb. The others decide to leave to let them have privacy. And honestly they’re shocked, they were hoping Melissa would have a happy ending and they’ve never seen her cry before.
After a few minutes Melissa calms down then gets off Barb and wipes her cheeks to get the tear stains off. Barb lets her go and they both get up, Melissa wipes her pants to get the dust off and sniffles a bit.
“Do you want me to come over tonight? Keep you company.” Barb offers but Melissa immediately declines.
“No, I just want to be alone tonight.” She ain’t gonna tell Barb the real reason she’s declining, she might not understand it.
“Ok, but call or text me if you need anything, ok?” Barb says and Melissa nods her head. Barb helps guide Melissa to her car and watches as she drives out of the parking lot before she gets in her car to go home.
Once Melissa gets to her place, she sees your car in her driveway and you still in your car. She pulls up next to you and you see her. You both get out and you walk inside to the house. You look around while Melissa gets wine. She comes out with your favourite red wine and 2 glasses while you’re still looking around. After all, you did live here when you were together, and it changed a lot. First of all there was plastic on the couch again and you roll your eyes at that. There was more family pictures up, she must have done it when you took your pictures off the wall. And there was more on the table, behind the couch, you walk over and pick up one and look at it.
“You kept it.” You told her and she walks up and sees the one you meant, even though she already knew. It was you and her on your first anniversary, you took her to a Philly game and she asked you to move in and it happened on the same day. You were dressed up in your Philly gear and you were hugging her with a bunch of boxes behind you. You both had huge smiles on your faces. You looked at it and remembered the day, like it was yesterday, and a tear slips down your face. You put it down and you turn to her. You see her with the 2 glasses and your favourite wine, you can’t believe she remembers.
“Of course I kept it. It was one of the happiest days of my life.” She says and walks to sit on the couch.
“I see you also put the plastic back on the couch.” You tell her with an eye roll.
“Obviously, you’re the reason I took it off. So since you weren’t here to complain, I put it back on.” She says and you smile and walk over to sit down beside her.
“Are you sure you want this Mel?” You ask her and she does a big breath in and out.
“Ya, I think we both need this.” She tells you and you nod and you take the offered glass of wine. You think that maybe you’ll be able to trust her again and might get back together but for now, you both need closure.
You both down the drinks quickly and then you stop. You don’t want to be tipsy or drunk so you’d remember this. Melissa then gets up and holds her hands out for you to take with a soft smile. You take her hands and she pulls you up. She then guides you to her bedroom and closes the door behind you. She brings you to the bed and pushes you on it then crawls on top of you, knowing you like the view. She then leans down and kisses you and you grab her head to push her down more to kiss her harder.
You run your fingers through her beautiful locks of orange hair, admiring how it feels as you kiss her. You then gently start scratching and rubbing her scalp and she begins moaning. You smirk, remembering what drives her to make the noises you love to hear. Melissa feels the smirk and pulls back to look at you. “Being cheeky are we?” She asks and you nod proudly. Melissa smiles at you then goes down to kiss your neck. She really wants to suck and do small bites on your neck but she doesn’t know how you’d feel about it and you’re not hers anymore.
“You can leave 2 hickeys.” You tell her, somehow knowing exactly what she was thinking. “As long as they’re on the side enough for my hair to cover them.” You tell her and she moves your hair out of the way and goes to your neck and starts sucking. You gasp and buck your hips under her and Melissa smiles as she keeps sucking, wanting to make sure they stay there for at least 3-4 days.
You take her shirt off and you stare at her chest and stomach. You then feel her all over with your hands, on her chest, on her stomach, all over her back. When trying to feel her back, the bra gets in the way and you unclip it quickly. You take her bra off and push her back as she was kissing your neck. You look at her breasts again and you always remembered how amazingly full they are. You put your hands on them and squeeze them, you run your hands all over them and then you look at her. Melissa can tell what you want and she scoots up a bit then leans down so you can put her nipple in your mouth.
You’re still able to have a hand on her boob while your mouth is on the nipple and you’re loving it. After having a few one night stands and a couple relationships, all with smaller breasts, you love having a big chest to touch and look at. Melissa knows how much you loved her breasts when you were together, she let you have however long you wanted with her chest when you were together and she’s going to do that again right now. “Take your time and touch them all you want baby, I don’t mind.” She tells you and you hum and nod. You take your time swirling your tongue around the nipples and sucking on the skin, leaving hickeys on her boobs.
She then pulls you shirt off when you pull back and she runs her hands all over you. She unclips your bra and takes it off and runs her hands all over your chest and cups your boobs. She always loved your smaller chest, she’s able to fit the whole boob in her hand, a perfect handful. She then leans down and sucks and licks the nipple, knowing it gets you very wet. Your neck and your breasts she knows are the most sensitive on you and it gets you wet very quickly.
She then trails down your stomach with kisses and stops where the top of your skirt is. She always loved when you wore skirts, easy and quick access, especially since you loved flowy skirts instead of skin tight pencil skirts. She looks at you and you nod, then she pulls your underwear down and off of you. She takes a look at you in nothing but a skirt on, a cute skirt as well.
She then spreads your legs and sticks her head under your skirt. She places kisses on your thighs, trailing up and down until you're whining and begging. Then she places a kiss on your clit and licks a strip up your entrance. You moan as you feel her hot tongue on your entrance and going up to lick your entire pussy. She licks your pussy a few times before she goes to your entrance and sticks her tongue in. You gasp and moan as she does that, remembering how good it always felt when she did. Melissa knew your body very well when you were together, she always pays attention to what you like and don’t like. Right now she’s doing everything you like and taking her time, wanting to draw this out as much as possible.
While she’s sliding her tongue in and out of your entrance, she slides her hands up your body and land on your breasts and she cups them. You begin bucking your hips and she uses her elbows to pin you down. “Oohh Melissa, that feels so good. Oh you’ve always known how to pleasure a woman with just your tongue.” You tell her and she smiles. She then travels her tongue up to your clit and she sucks and licks it. You keep trying to buck your hips to get more pleasure but she has you pinned down and she doesn’t plan on telling you to stop moving, just wants you to enjoy tonight. Before you come however, a minute later, she pulls back and you let out a frustrated groan at her.
“What do you want me to do to you baby? How would you like me to fuck you?” She asks and you think.
“Can you lick my clip and finger me until I come then fuck me with a strap?” You ask her and she smiles warmly at her.
“Of course.” She tells you then goes to get the strap and comes back. She goes to take off her pants but you stop her.
“Wait, I want to undress you.” You tell her and she stops immediately and stands there beside the bed where you are and you get off the bed then kneel down on your knees in front of her. You undo her pants then pull the zipper down. You then slowly slide her jeans down, over her amazing hips and then down her legs, then she lifts one foot off the floor at a time to take them off. You then grip the top of her underwear and slowly pull them down off her pussy. You noticed a wet spot on her underwear and you smile when you see she’s practically dripping. You can’t resist lifting up a bit and licking her pussy.
She starts bucking her hips while you lick her and then start sucking on her clit. Her legs get shaky and she puts her hands in your hair to keep you where you are. Without pulling away from her, you gently push her and she falls on the bed in a seated position and she spreads her legs to give you more room. She still has her hands in your hair and she’s rubbing your scalp while murmuring praises to you and moaning. “Oh that feels so good baby. Oh keep going. That’s my good girl. Your tongue feels so fucking good on my pussy baby. You move your tongue so it’s now sliding in and out of her entrance and you put a finger on her clit and start rubbing circles on it. She moans and gasps and starts bucking her hips and you’re able to pin her down enough to keep going. She has one hand on the bed to keep her up and she has one on your head, buried in your hair, and keeping you exactly where you are on her pussy. “Oh baby, is this turning you on?” She asks and you nod. “Why don’t you touch yourself baby? Pleasure yourself while you pleasure me, but don’t let yourself cum.” She instructs you and you move your hand in between your legs and you start rubbing your clit and you moan. And since your mouth is wrapped around her pussy, your moan vibrates on her and sends a shot of pleasure right through her and she gasps. “Oh baby, I’m so close, make me cum my good girl.” She says and you rub her clit faster and move your tongue in and out of her faster as well. She jerks her hips and her legs are shaking, then she cums with a high pitch gasp.
You then pull your tongue out of her once you lick up all her cum then you stand up. You let her calm down as she’s breathing fast and then she hugs your waist and lays her head on your stomach. You know physical touch helps her calm down so you massage her scalp and then her breathing slows down. She then pulls you on the bed, on top of her and you fall on her. You think this might have been her plan as your pussy is right near her mouth and she aligns it with her tongue and then dives in. You lift yourself up just as she licks your entrance and you almost fall down due to the surprise and pleasure. You position yourself so that you’re leaning back a bit to cup her boobs and enjoy her tongue on your clit. “Lean forward and go on your hands baby.” She tells you and you obey right away. “My good girl.” She says and some more wetness goes right to your core, as if you weren’t already dripping.
She then is able to now slip a finger inside of your entrance like you wanted and you gasp, she feels how wet you are and slips another finger in, and then a third. You moan as she slams her fingers in and out of you and curls them to touch your special spot. You don’t last much longer and you cum with a moan. She then pulls out of you and while still licking you, she pulls the strap on while you come down from your high. She knows your favourite position with the strap is doggy style and then move to both on just your knees with your back pressed against her front. So she slips out from under you then gets on her knees behind you and slides the strap inside. She then starts sliding it in and out of you slowly, wanting to hear all your gasps and moans as much as possible. After about 5 minutes of that, and some begging from you, she pulls you up so that your back is pressed against her boobs as you like to feel them. You move a hand behind you, in her hair and she cups your boobs and thrusts faster in and out of you.
She then moves your hair away from your neck and she sucks and kisses your neck. While still having one hand cupping your boob, she moves her other one to circle your clit. The sensation becomes overwhelming and you would have fallen forward if she wasn’t holding you up. You end up coming 10 seconds later and Melissa doesn’t stop as she’s close as well.
She starts praising you and calling you sweet nicknames in Italian, thinking you forgot what they meant, which you didn’t. You don’t say anything, you just let her do that, and if you’re being honest, you find it sexy when she speaks Italian.
With the overstimulation and the hot redhead pressing you into her boobs and saying sweet things in Italian to you, you end up cumming 2 more times before she cums. She slows down in you before pulling out, and even when she’s coming down from her high, she knows not to let you go so you don’t fall forward. She ends up wrapping her arms around your waist and resting her chin on your shoulder.
After you both calm down enough, she lets you go and takes the strap off before running into the bathroom. She comes out with a cloth and cleans you both before throwing it on the floor with the strap, then climbs into bed next to you and you end up cuddling on her. You put your head on her boob and wrap an arm around her stomach, and a leg to rest along her waist.
Melissa has an arm wrapped around your back and pulls you closer to her, she then kisses your forehead and whispers “ti amo” when she thinks you’re asleep, you weren’t and heard her perfectly.
You both end up falling asleep.
Melissa awakes about 3 hours later to an empty bed. You ended up waking up before her and slipped out before she woke up.
On Monday, you continue to treat her as you were, as if you never had sex with her and it broke her. She ends up not coming in the rest of the week, Ava mentioning that she didn’t hear from her on Friday, causing Barb to go check on her.
While visiting her house, she gets a call from the hospital, informing her that Melissa was in a car accident and in CCU. She then calls you and the both of you visit her in her hospital room. Barb goes to see if she can get some food for both of you, leaving you alone with an unconscious Melissa. You were holding her hand and at some point she squeezed it, letting you know that she knows you’re there and that she’s ok.
When Melissa wakes up a few days later, Barb tells her that you switched schools and states and might not return to Philly ever again. Barb also let her know that you want to tell her “I’m sorry.”
Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta
@imaginesmultifandoms
@idonothingalldays-blog
@sexysapphicshopowner
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@lilfartbox1
Let me know if you want to be added!
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jeonzaxs · 3 days
Text
stained hands - jjk.
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summary; you're gone but he refuses to believe it. - genre; angst. (idk what to even put here) - warnings; nothing much just angst. jk is ill. lower case intended. - notes; idk what the fuck this is lol. dont ask me anything. it might be gone soon.
[03;00]
just the thought of you brings a smile to me face, the lights in my chest flicker. i imagine your dark chocolate like eyes, those which carry so much warmth that i'd spend the rest of my life staring at them. you're my haven, you're an angel, so pure that my eyes well up. i don't think i'll ever forget. everything reminds me of you. i feel useless and lost without you. when we drifted apart, or rather when the cruel world tore us apart, i left a part of me with you. the lights in my chest died. i died. im lifeless, now. sitting at my desk, writing letters to you which i pray to gods that they find their way to you. you who i will always love more than he ever will or can. years after i'll look at this letter and my heart will bleed, because no matter how many bodies press onto me, trying to keep me warm, it isnt yours. their smiles don't tug at my heartstrings like yours does, their touches cant be felt, their warmth cant. i cant feel them like i felt you. till death covers me, it will be you.
yours truly. j.
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nereidprinc3ss · 17 hours
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so you’re an Elle stan, which ofc, who wouldn’t be…
how do you feel about how Elle was written off? I know she was struggling with trauma but it all felt very inconsistent with her character. I know they had to get her outta there for whatever reason but idk I felt like it was such a 180. just curious for ur opinion 😁
also hi, your writing is impeccable :)
- @basketonthedoorstepofthefbi
hiiii thank you!
honestly i KIND of liked it…. like she was traumatized and people weren’t really taking her seriously and it reached a boiling point. i don’t rlly think she was in the wrong tbh, and at least she went out with a bang (literally)
idk i loved the angst of it all and it gave us reid showing up to her hotel room in the middle of the night and drinking with her so😁😁😁 big fan of that!!! #i think they did it but i just can’t prove it
i also appreciated that she cut her long pretty hair off cause she was having a crisis like me too girl
what annoys me most is that CERTAIN team member did the exact same thing and didn’t even receive a slap on the wrist for it. men piss me off. anyways elle greenaway sympathizer for life i fucking love that woman thank you for asking
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rosenallies · 2 days
Note
May I propose to you the idea of either Jane getting jealous over Mirage being all over Nymphia/or Mirage and Nymphia as exes who are strangely good friends afterwards?
Idk if it'd work in any of the Planymphia AUs you currently have, but I was inspired by this post: https://www.tumblr.com/biblewaterzzz/748398423015915520
Idk if you wanted to just discuss or a prompt but I wanna write this as a prompt so thank u for the idea <3 sorry I made this kinda h/c and soft I’m just sad today <3
——
Jane watched them from across the bar with a deep ache in her stomach. Nymphia’s hips swayed to the music in tandem with Mirage, who pressed into her, whispering in her ear every now and then and laughing.
Realistically, they looked like a pair of close friends, nothing more, but watching them made Jane start to spiral. She wasn’t sure if whatever she was feeling could be classified as jealousy, but whatever it was, she hated it. She hated the way her stomach turned and tears pricked at her eyes as she imagined Nymphia coming up to her and explaining that she’d be much happier with someone like Mirage. And really, who could blame her? Nymphia deserved someone as positive and lighthearted as she is. Deep down inside, since she and Nymphia started dating, Jane wondered how long it would take for Nymphia to get sick of her pessimism and leave her for someone else.
The downward spiral continued into the night, even after they’d said goodbye to their friends and were walking hand in hand back to Nymphia’s apartment. Jane’s mood had sobered her up while Nymphia swayed happily as they walked, wistfully chatting about how much fun she’d had all night.
“Janey, I wish you would’ve danced with us, we were having so much fun!”
Jane laughed to herself, shaking her head. “Looks like you had plenty of fun with Mirage.”
She hadn’t meant it to come across the way it did, but Jane was never one to come across very softly. Nymphia looked up at her, brows furrowed together. “What do you mean?”
Huffing, Jane shook her head. “Nothing.”
“No,” Nymphia stopped them, grabbing ahold of both of Jane’s hands, “it’s not nothing. What’s the matter?”
Jane felt as if she was about to cry, Nymphia looking up at her so tenderly. “C-can we just get back to the apartment, please?”
“Okay, baby,” Nymphia said with a soft smile, lacing their fingers together as they walked the last block back home.
Once they got back, Nymphia kicked her heels off, Jane following suit, the pit still sitting heavy in her stomach. Nymphia turned to her, grabbing both of her hands and kissing the back of them. Jane felt she didn’t deserve her. “Do you want to talk now or get comfy first?”
Jane shrugged. “I guess now would be okay.”
Nymphia nodded and led her to the couch, curling into her side and resting her head on her shoulder. “Tell me what’s on your mind. What’s making my PJ sad?”
“You were having a lot of fun with Mirage,” Jane said plainly, afraid of letting too much spill out, all her secret insecurities she hid with jokes and jabs and a deluded sense of self confidence.
“I would’ve had more fun of you joined us on the dance floor. Is that what you’re upset about? Are you jealous?”
Feeling her cheeks burn, Jane shrugged again. “I don’t know, I guess?”
If Jane were in a better mood about it, Nymphia might’ve teased her, but Nymphia could tell this wasn’t a playful jealousy, it was one laced with uncertainty and insecurity. “Jane, Mirage is just a friend. You have nothing to worry about with her.”
“Maybe not with her,” Jane whispered under her breath.
“What do you mean? Who else would you have to worry about?”
“Just-just forget it. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Jane should’ve known Nymphia wouldn’t allow her to shut her away, but she was taken off guard when Nymphia gently turned Jane’s face toward hers. “We really should though.”
Sighing, Jane nodded, Nymphia was right. “I worry you’re going to leave me for someone like Mirage. I know you two are just close friends but I watching the way she was touching you and was all over you made me start thinking about how you deserve someone better than me.”
“Better than you? I don’t think there’s anything better than you, though. I want to be with you, no one else.”
“You don’t think I’m a bad person or that I come across too abrasive?”
“I don’t think that at all, I wouldn’t be with you if I thought that and trust me, I want to be with you. I want to be with you all the time.”
“You do?”
“Mmhm,” Nymphia hummed, nuzzling into Jane once more, “all the time.”
If Jane had thought about it some more, she would’ve chosen her next words more carefully but as she laced her fingers with Nymphia’s, she let her heart speak for her. “I love you.”
It was the first time either of them had said it, even though Jane had been thinking it for weeks. For a moment, Nymphia looked taken aback and then her face softened. She leaned over and gently kissed Jane before whispering quietly, “I love you too.”
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lazyjellyfish300 · 3 days
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Gonna get personal here for a sec... because I have nowhere else to turn to.... 😞
I'm a budding author, so I have an agent that I've hired to beta read my stuff, edit, give feedback etc. right?
TBH he was kinda rude at first, he was a stickler about my punctuation and grammar. He even made comments that were borderline unprofessional about my AU, calling it frivolous essentially. So, I bit my tongue for as long as I could, because I didn't want to mess up this opportunity because finding agents and going through the editing process is HARD, y'all.
Well, one day after I got a haircut I noticed he was a little bit softer towards me which threw me off. Idk if it was the haircut but it definitely was the first time I noticed a change in his attitude and so I kind of made a little joke and he laughed. It got me asking about a show we both like to watch and no joke, we sat there on zoom for like an hour and a half just chatting. We didn't even get to discussing the draft at all so I had to end it there bc I had another meeting scheduled. Not going to lie, it felt a little weird & just couldn't get my mind off of it after that.
Well, it turned into smiles, flirty comments here and there. Then one day he just outright asked me if I wanted to get dinner...I knew it was a horrible idea but at this point I had a crush on him so I said yes anyway. He lives far away and flew out here for business but he extended his trip by an extra day JUST to see me. Literally nobody has ever done that for me...
Chat, I don't know what to do....I'm being so selfish but he makes me feel so happy. He buys me flowers and gets me coffee & food while I'm working. Like this man lives in a different time zone from me but he ORDERS DOOR DASH AND UBER EATS and has it delivered to my house. 😩
He listens & doesn't judge me for any of the stupid things I like or hate the fact that I get on Tumblr and write nasty fanfics about a cartoon man.
We can't tell other people about our relationship bc he could lose his job if it's found out he's seeing one of his clients. I'm literally risking everything ffs!!! I know it's wrong, but I can't help it...
Well, I confess I'm in love with him & this is me being honest abt it. Idc anymore...
(don't worry, he's happy, he was just making that face bc he was hungry but I was trying to sit there and take selfies before dinner. My beautiful irl bestie made this for me btw)
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latenightdecaf · 2 days
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There are just so many things that don't sit right with that ep 14. (And I won't be able to do my work today if I don't write it down.)
Honestly, I've been enjoying this drama because of its fast pacing and the way it resolves things fast and as clean as they can. I didn't mind the inconsistencies to be honest, and some gaps in history
like why the fuck was haraboji's gf, so mad in the first place anyway?? like yes she went to prison, had a son, left that son and worked for haraboji and then??
the 1031 baby miscarriage was fine not to be addressed (unfortunately, I can forgive that - given that I have friend who went through the same thing and honestly did not really confront or grieved that with her husband either - they never moved on, but never talked about it either, so fine - we move forward.)
But honestly, this episode is just different than the rest in an unsettling way.
First, the scenes were cut so weirdly... like honestly, what do they want us all to feel here? They had the most beautiful confrontation about life, yes they walked to the hotel without looking at each other. Yes, Hae In stayed true to her character not wanting other girls to look at Hyun Woo. But honestly, that shit felt shallow and her charcter could've been more. They could've walked into a restaurant after fighting, with Hyun Woo just holding her wrist and her noticing the small ways this unbelievable man takes care of her even when he's mad - opening the door, ordering her food, idk, slicing it for her. It could've been slow, it could've been realizing that he had wrinkles now, that he looked tired, that he was having a hard time too - realizing that she wanted to live and be loved by this man no matter what. That if given a chance, even as stranger she'd still surely fall in love all over again. Her as the stranger, NOT those girls who was just prying. They could've twisted that up in a melo way. (But of course, we needed the romcom so of course.)
I could not even begin to point out how weird that car accident was. As viewer, I already know she's not inside... I know that moment was needed but again for Hae In to somehow magically realize she wanted that surgery but that's just torture by now. After everything they've gone through in Yongduri, she already knows how loved she was. Things could've slowed down a bit. And I'm sure Kim Ji Won would've executed that brilliantly (hello, my liberation notes). Idk, Hae In could've had more stronger reasons to live, or that case could've been built differently. Hae In is not shallow but they made her that way and yes, by the time she'd be regaining or building her connection back to Hyun Woo that script will be back again not wanting anyone else to have him. (ugh, Hae In :( I need more!!)
Third of course, Eunseong - so far his character just became so predictable that it totally put me off. Honestly thought (based on the preview without any actual context, that Hae In would be in the car accident with Eun Seong and then he dies to save her so he can finally be someone who actually saved Hae In) but yeah. He came in so conveniently in the hospital that no one even bother to ask why this stranger is now the legal guardian of Hae In like come on. (I know it's kdrama but come on that was WAY TOO CONVENIENT)
And lastly, that fucking surgery. Every single build up, every single suspense gone. She woke up after 5-10 mins inside the drama not even a bandage to her head!! They've could've dragged that a bit, not make her wake up too soon. Mess with us up some more, have the doctors come in, tell them "these things take time". Make Eunseong nervous! But no, she had to wake up immediately. Like come on!! It could've messed with everyone if that was dragged a bit more to the next episode. They could've deported back Hyun Woo to Seoul while Hae In is still unconscious with the devil by her side. We could've been at the edge of our seats if suspense was all they needed and now it just felt too rushed and too much by now. And then, Hae In will be back in Seoul like nothing happened with her (physically) and then she's with Eun Seong now. Ugh.
But despite it all, I'm thankful for this drama. I'm still going to be there next week to see this through. Honestly, what a world-class acting from Kim Soo Hyun and Kim Ji Won.
I'm just wrapping up my thoughts so I can finally go on with my day.
Thank you all for coming to my TED talk.
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cheegu3 · 3 days
Note
Heloo may I request a enhypen reaction when y/n killed themselves and left a note saying "this is all your fault"
Sorry if this makes you uncomfy
oh not at all, I was only on the fence about writing this bc idk if talking about this topic is allowed on tumblr, but I hope u didn’t feel a lot of anxiety when sending in this ask 😭 it is a little short so sorry abt that :c some of the notes are a bit different too to switch it up!
tw / trigger warning: yandere, dark themes, depression, suicide, self-harm, sad asf, cursing, violence, blood, suicide-note, vomiting, gun
pls do not read if this triggers or offends you or if you're struggling !!
Yandere!Enhypen - reaction to you unaliving yourself
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Jungwon
He didn't know how to react when he found you dead. No tears fell down his face as he looked for a pulse, clutching your cold hand in his.
When he spotted a note lying a few meters away, a heavy sigh left his lips and he gave you a pained look.
' This is all because of you. If only you'd treated me like a normal boyfriend would, maybe we could've been soulmates. I hope you feel pain for the rest of your life. '
The more Jungwon stared at the note, blaming him for all of your pain and problems; the more he felt like he had to fight to hold back the tears that were itching to fall.
At the same time, he found a strange anger bubbling inside of him. Not only did you - the love of his life, leave him in this way but you had to wish him pain in your last breath too?
He became blinded by anger. The hand that was holding the note clenched and the paper crumbled under it.
He will try to stay alive just to spite you. Trying his best to move on and get happy, maybe fall in love again and find a family just so he could get his revenge; as you watched from above and realized you meant nothing to him.
But Jungwon never got over you, not really.
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Heeseung
He got angry immediately, cussing you out and almost getting the urge to hit you. Instead, he took his anger out on a mirror and felt some sense of relief when he started to bleed.
He blamed himself of course. He had been wrong about how you were feeling, even though he often prided himself on having been able to read you like an open book.
He didn't notice your spark slowly dying out; the more he got angry the more he got jealous, and then the more you were punished for the smallest things.
It got to a point where you couldn't even live in the moment and enjoy the short times when he was a sweet boyfriend again, because you were always scared of what would tick him off a few seconds later.
' I'm sorry, Hee. I was so tired of fighting. I love you,
y/n. '
His vision blurred as tears filled his eyes. He could only manage to hold them back for a few seconds before he doubled over and sobbed loudly.
The room filled with loud wails of pain that would even make angels cry. Anyone that heard it would know just how much he loved you.
Heeseung clutched his chest right where his aching heart felt like it was being ripped out of him. '' I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby, '' he kept whispering until he was tired of crying for hours and it turned into shaky murmurs.
He fell asleep, hoping it would be eternal, with your body in his arms; dried tears on his cheeks being replaced by new ones, as even in his sleep he couldn't escape seeing his lover.
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Jay
It was the worst phone call he had ever received. He didn't know how to react after it ended, only staring blankly into the distance as his thoughts went crazy.
He needed to see you with his own eyes to believe it so he rushed home. His stomach sank when he spotted the ambulance. Quickly he pushed through the people to get to you.
But when he reached you and saw your lifeless body on the stretcher, he didn't know what to do yet again. A stupid voice inside him told him he should keep his cool in front of all the spectators, even while the love of his life lay dead in front of him.
Did he want to cry, scream, or hold you?
He lowered his eyes to get the image of you like that out of his head. Still in shock, he went inside, locked the doors, and shut the windows' blinds.
He stayed like that for days; barely eating, seeing the sun, or getting out of bed. No matter how bad his depression got and how the light at the end of the tunnel seemed to get further and further away, he still refused to cry.
There was a reason. Your note.
He had seen it while cleaning his house that day he got home. Not wanting to let his thoughts get to him, he started sterilizing and cleaning the whole house. When he then got to the bedroom, a small green note poked out underneath the bed.
He crouched and was about to throw it away until he turned it over and read the first and only line.
' this is all your fault '
And after that, he'd never be the same man again. Most days he wondered if he was even human anymore, he didn't feel anything.
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Jake
'' Y/n! I'm home. ''
Jake's face scrunched up as he pouted when you didn't come running to him like usual. Something felt wrong, a bad feeling brewed in his stomach, growing in size the more he moved around in his apartment.
He went further in, peeking around the corners but not calling out for you anymore. It felt better to explain the bad feeling by thinking you were doing something you weren't supposed to, rather than you being hurt; so he moved quietly so he could catch you in the act.
Inside the office, you were nowhere to be found. He guessed you had snuck in there to write to your loved ones or maybe snoop through his stuff. Defeatedly he sighed and moved on, eyes getting caught by the door to the bedroom being slightly open.
Jake stopped in his step and turned back.
'' Y/n? Are you in there? Come out please, I just want to talk, '' he tried, his voice coming out a lot more whiny and desperate than he'd planned.
But he got no response except for silence. His worry grew. One deep breath later he pushed the door open before he could change his mind.
It slowly creaked open, revealing the room little by little. He fell to his knees and gasped.
You were lying in a pool of blood. At first, he felt a surge of anger - who could've done this to you? Then, his attention drifted to the small folded note next to you, and his heart sank.
'' No, please don't say...'' he trailed off, hurrying to unwrap the paper with so much panic that he almost ripped it.
' I wanted to meet my friend one last time, that's all I asked for, but like always it was about what you wanted. We both know that this was all your fault. '
Overcome with despair and grief it wouldn't take long for Jake to join you. He couldn't stand being apart, and he'd find you wherever you were, even in death.
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Sunghoon
He felt very angry at you, not himself. Yes, he had dared you to do it while the two of you were in the middle of a screaming match but he hadn't expected you to actually pick up a gun.
The image of you staring at him, tears in your eyes, and that look on your face, which was the last he'd see of you, would forever be etched in his mind.
He couldn't sleep at night. It was like it was burned into the back of his eyes too.
Once your body fell to the floor with a thud, his eyes widened and his lips parted. He knew you were gone without even having to check your pulse.
'' Do it, '' those were his last words to the one person he loved.
He felt sick suddenly, rushing to the bathroom to throw up everything and then some more.
In that bathroom he stayed for hours, just staring blankly at the tiles on the wall, not saying a word or moving an inch. After the sun started setting outside and the light caught his eyes, he finally got up and went to where he had last left you.
You hadn't moved. Sunghoon crouched down next to you and started digging in your pockets for your phone. Something sharp brushed against his palm.
He took it out and saw that it was a note. Unraveling it, he discovered it was a suicide note you must've written a long time ago. Had you always had it on you? Just in case.
' I hate you '
He clenched his fist around the paper, it broke. '' Weak, '' he whispered under his breath and got up.
It was a coping mechanism to place all the anger on you. God knows what he would've done if he started letting that transfer to himself. But, even the anger couldn't stop him from missing you - every single day.
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Sunoo
He would blame himself immensely, not having room to be mad at you at all. All that he felt for you was pity and empathy. He tried putting himself in your shoes for the first time and it was a heartbreak he'd never experienced before.
He went to school that day, so excited to see you, only to feel horror as he pushed through the crowd that had formed curiously and saw your body there.
It felt like slow-motion when the wind made you turn and you made eye contact with him. Whispers spread like wildfire all around him, surrounding him completely.
Sunoo felt confused and scared, his eyes darted around anxiously and he tried slipping out. Someone pushed him back.
'' You did this! ''
His head snapped up. A girl, your friend, was standing on the table overlooking the whole classroom. Her eyes were red from crying and in her hand, she was holding something white.
' I'm sorry to do this here, but it's because of my boyfriend, he's controlling and an obsessive, crazy person. I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of him. I'm sorry, I love you '
His world fell apart in an instant. He had no idea you'd been feeling like that, why didn't you tell him? He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair as he came to a realization - you did, and he didn't listen.
He was finally allowed to push through the crowd and run away from the school which he'd never again return to. Tears streamed down his face the whole way home, and they didn't stop even as he reached it.
In his mind, all the ' what if-s ' played. What if he fixed himself and was less obsessive, would you have stayed then? What if he was less jealous, would you have loved him back? What if...what if.
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Ni-ki
He tried distracting his mind by both rationalizing it to soften the blow, saying '' we probably weren't made for each other anyway '', and trying to go on dates with other girls.
However, every time he did so, he'd zone out and wish that it was you sitting across from him instead. He started daydreaming which brought a smile to his face until it dropped almost as suddenly as it had come when he heard her voice and realized it wasn't you.
They could never be you.
Suddenly he was angry at them, cursing and telling them to leave him alone and to never text him again.
Deep down he knew he'd never love anyone like you again, and you were actually meant for him; but he hated admitting it and to spare himself from more pain, might never admit it.
That was the thing, you were meant for him. Not anymore; you didn't exist anymore, because of him. He knew that now that his soulmate was gone forever, his bleak days would never be lit up by you again.
Just thinking of that smile, the only one that managed to get through his tough and cold exterior, made him feel like crying or punching something.
He then thought of the note, which he often did, and your body at the morgue because he hadn't come home quick enough to see you, and for that he was grateful; seeing you like that would've driven him to the edge.
The note, the one that read, ' I'm sorry, Riki. I tried, I really did. I love you, -y/n '
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teddynivvy · 2 days
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Hi lovely, sorry if im blowing up your inbox i literally cannot stop reading your fics bro.
could you maybe write a bottom Ted fic? like hes coming home after a long day of running errands and hes so worn out, laying on the couch and watching tv till you get home, somehow just end up riding him hes just a moaning breathless mess, stuttering his words.
idk ive just had this on my mind for a while and i think bottom Ted is jst so fucking hot😗🤷‍♂️
OKAY BYE MY FAVORITEST WRITER EVERR<333 >:3
omg pls blow up my inbox!!! you're sooo sweet tysm for your comments about my writing i appreciate you so much <3333 ur also 100% correct about bottom!ted... i will reign myself in and not give him a mommy kink (as much as i want to) but if y'all are interested in that lmk ;) (nsfw and dom-ish afab!reader under cut!)
ok so i imagine ted having to do some running around for a video. he has something big planned, so he has like a million errands to do and he's running all around town to pick up supplies. he also has to come home and plan and write, so by the evening when you're both relaxing on the couch, he's completely beat.
you're rubbing along his arms and playing with his hair, giving him little neck kisses, which ends up turning into you grinding on his lap a little bit for some friction. wordlessly, his hands find your ass as you keep kissing along his ears and neck, as you can tell he's getting really worked up.
"what do you need, teddy?" you'd ask, whispering into his ear and making his head fall back. "use your words."
"please," he'd breathe out, his mind foggy. "please ride me, i want you so bad."
"mm, good boy," you'd laugh lightly, pulling off your t-shirt and shorts while he unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down his thighs.
"you wanna get me ready?" you asked, as he laid down on the couch. he nodded, as you came up and placed your thighs on either side of his face.
he lapped lazily at your clit as you sat down on him, feeling his warm tongue and moaning at how wet he was making you. your hands carded through his soft hair as his grip tightened on your thighs, kneading them with his ringed fingers.
"so good for me, baby," you cooed, smiling down at his face between your thighs. "doing so good at getting me ready for your cock."
he moaned at the praise, only wanting to please you, before you pulled yourself off of him. you kissed his plush lips, covered in your slick, before getting off of him and positioning yourself over his lap.
you sunk down on him, watching as his head fell back onto the arm of the couch. you both gasped at the feeling, as he filled you up and you started to rock back and forth and find your rhythm.
your hand found his chest as he started to breathe heavier, eyes fluttering closed at how good you felt on him. his hands found your hips for stability, as you leaned down to kiss his neck and chest.
"does that feel good, teddy?"
he could barely speak, letting the stress of his day fade away as you picked up the pace and bounced up and down.
"mmph, fuck, yes, please don't stop." his cheeks were turning crimson, chest heaving, trying unbelievably hard not to cum immediately.
"you're being such a good boy for me, aren't you, teddy? should i let you come?" he blushed at the nickname, feeling himself get impossibly close to finishing.
"please let me cum, please," he begged, as you started to speed up and make it nearly unbearable for him. "can i please cum inside of you?"
a wicked smile on your face as you bottomed out on him, earning a few blubbering squeaks from him as pleasure overtook him. "since you asked so nicely," you teased, grinding on his cock and leaning down to suck a purple hickey into the skin of his chest.
a mix of the pleasure and pain was enough to send him crashing down, hands grabbing at anything they could, just for some reprieve. a string of 'thank you's fell out of his mouth as he painted your insides with his cum, relaxing as soon as he finished and lazily kissing the sides of your face, rubbing his hands down your back.
"feels so good," he smiled, beaming up at you as you pushed the messy hair out of his face and slid his glasses back on. "you're perfect. i love you."
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lollytea · 2 years
Text
I don't dislike the name change theory at all because I understand the thought process behind it, with the need to distance yourself from every trace of your abuser and all that. So like I get it. But I very strongly believe in Hunter reclaiming his name. Mostly cuz of scenes like this
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It's important to him!! It's the name he uses to distinguish his true self from the persona he's built. It's the name he uses when he wants to be seen as someone other than the Golden Guard. It's the name others use when they want to express that they do see him. The name might have fucked up origins and he's clearly aware of it but being Hunter is the one thing about himself he's certain of right now.
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