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#idk what this is lmao
starrynightsxo · 2 months
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cardan: *hesitantly* would you love me if I were a worm?
jude: I loved you when you were a snake, so yeah probably.
cardan: *severely hyperventilating* WHAT DO YOU MEAN "PROBABLY"???
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kissitbttr · 16 days
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toji will argue with the fact that he has the sexiest girlfriend in this planet and he would die fighting for that truth. and he doesn’t mind showing it off to people. whether it’d be by words or visuals.
he loves to tell his friends about how flexible you are when it comes to fucking, how you like it when he cums all over your tits, how skilled your tongue is when it comes to sucking him off.
he has no shame in it.
“look straight to the camera, baby—there we go—gooood girl” he instructs as he takes the picture of you kneeling between his knees. delicate hand wrapped around his hard mid shaft with your warm mouth engulfing him.
his cock twitches when your glossy eyes dart towards the lenses, even more when you decide to smile. the sight just makes his stomach twirl and his cum threatening to spill all over your pretty face,
can you blame him though?
“s-shit” he grunts when you decide to lull your tongue out, showing him the metal piercing right in the middle before the cold jewelry makes a contact with his sensitive tip. “insane. you’re driving me fucking insane, baby—god damn”
he takes another shot at that before hearing you giggle, finger swiping the pre cum that’s decorating your lower lip. “what other positions you want me to do next, papi?”
toji groans at that, head thrown back along with his eyes. “don’t do that—you know what it does to me”
“hm? that is?” you tease, head tilting to the right and nearly squeal when his hand spanks your ass as a warning,
“good girls don’t tease—turn around for me” he directs, finger twirling in circular motion as he smirks deviously , watching you obey him just like that.
toji nearly lets out an animalistic groan when you turn your back to him, sitting on your knees before leaning forward a bit,
and he doesn’t play when he says he’s got the sexiest girlfriend in the world. because with an ass like that, who could even compete?
“shit—look at that” he grabs a handful of your ass after setting the camera to his side. squeezing each one at a time and he swears he feels like the heaven just came straight to him. “and some people say tits are better than ass”
“baby!” you playfully scold with a small giggle, looking over your shoulder to see your boyfriend playing with your ass like his life depends on it. you could even see the lusty look in his eyes. “sometimes i do wonder if you’re with me for me or my butt”
“i’m with you for all of it, sweetheart” he winks at you, pressing a chaste kiss on one of the cheek before grabbing his camera back, angling it directly towards the plump flesh. “hold still, pretty—i gotta take lots of it—should we send these to your punk of an ex?”
you gasp at the question, eyes lighting up. “oh! baby, that’s a great idea! but wouldn’t it be better if you had your cock in me when i ride you in reverse? we can even send videos even!”
his eyebrow quirks at your thought, chuckling by his girlfriend dirty suggestion before his large hand comes up to wrap his cock and pumping it a bit. sliding the tip up and down your wet hole making you close your eyes in pure bliss,
“want me to send the pictures like this?” he rasps watching you nod and squirm because of it.
“hmm, but let me do the work, baby. you just gotta take the pictures, yeah?” you smile through bitten lip, removing his hand off and replacing it with yours before guiding the tip in. “i’ll ride you real good, daddy”
toji moans when you sink yourself down on his cock, feeling your wet velvet walls hugging it tight as his fingertips digging onto the skin of your hips,
he tosses the camera away to the edge of the bed the moment you start picking up the pace, thinking that he could record that shit later. it’s not like both of you couldn’t go for more than three rounds.
“my dirty dirty girl—fuck”
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steddieasitgoes · 3 months
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Do I have more important projects with actual deadlines I should be working on? Yes. Did I write a silly failed shower sex ficlet instead? Also yes. Enjoy!
Also, they don’t actually do anything but there is some suggestive language/jokes so minors be gone!
When it came to showering, Eddie and Steve had very different ideas about the ideal water temperature.
Eddie’s used to fast, lukewarm showers that border more on the cold side. Years and years of conserving the hot water for Wayne and his aching bones have taught him how to be quick and adjust to the cold water hitting his body. If he’s honest with himself, he prefers the cold water now. It energizes him in a way a cup of bitter coffee never has.
Steve, on the other hand, is used to warm showers with water so hot it’s a degree away from scalding temperatures. The type of showers that leave the mirror fogged up and his body flushed red when he steps out fifteen or twenty minutes later.
Naturally, the first time Steve and Eddie decided to shower together was an utter disaster.
It was meant to be intimate and sexy. Steve had mentioned that he’d never fucked anyone in his shower before and Eddie, always eager to take a first away from Steve, had sprung up from the plush mattress and dragged him into the en suite.
They stripped the clothes off each other in a quiet sort of fervor. Eager, but also wanting to savor the moment. It wasn’t often they got to see each other like this. Standing bare in the warm lighting of Steve’s bedroom. Usually, they spent their time, naked on their backs in beds. This was different.
Marveling at Steve’s adonis-level body for too long always made Eddie a bit twitch, so after a moment or two he tugged him into the shower to officially get things started. At least, that was the plan but the minute the warm water landed on Eddie’s skin he let out an ear-piercing yelp and leaped so high, he nearly hit his head on the ceiling above.
“Jesus H. Christ,” he swore.
“What the hell, Eds?” Steve shouts back, slicking his wet hair back as the warm water hits his back.
“What do you mean ‘what the hell’ you’re the one who's trying to burn my dick off!”
Steve snorted, stepping further into the stream of hot water. “Don’t be dramatic. S’just a little warm.”
“Just a little warm,” Eddie mocked as he stepped further away from the shower head, backing himself into a corner. “Stevie, you’re turning redder and redder by the second. It’s too hot!”
“No such thing as too hot.”
“My dick begs to differ!”
Without waiting for Steve to retort, Eddie reached a hand into the scalding water and turned the faucet 45 degrees in the opposite direction. In a matter of seconds, the water started cooling off. Eddie had never been more grateful for Steve’s fancy ass house and working water heater system than that moment.
This time it was Steve who yelped as the cold water assaulted his body. Thankfully, he didn’t leap like Eddie had and instead sidestepped out from under the faucet leaving enough room for Eddie to dive right under the cool stream.
“Now this is an appropriate water temperature.”
“Are you kidding me?” Steve scoffed. “My dick is shriveling up in this! Look!”
Eddie’s gaze immediately dropped and yeah, okay, that was going to be a problem.
“Damn, you really are a grower.”
“Oh my god,” Steve groaned before yanking Eddie away from the shower head.
Just as Steve was about to turn the faucet in the other direction, Eddie’s hand was on his, holding it steady.
“Eddie! I’m going to freeze if I don’t make it warmer.”
“And I’m going to melt! It’s not that bad, you’ll get used to it.”
“I don’t want to get used to it. You get used to my temperature.”
They stayed like that, hands clutched around the faucet, bickering back and forth for several more moments before coming to an impasse. In the end, neither one won The Great Water Temperature Debate and instead, they sprinted back into Steve’s room to satisfy themselves the old-fashioned way: sprawled out on Steve’s mattress, taking turns tearing each other apart.
It wasn’t until years later when they stayed at a hotel with dual shower heads, that they finally got to cross “shower sex” off their not-safe for Dustin’s eyes bucket list.
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meetmymouth · 10 months
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Harry follows one of his friends outside as they’re looking for an appropriate place to smoke, one hand holding his glass of whiskey as the other finds comfort in one of his pockets. It’s hot in the marquee, so the sweet July breeze outside is more than welcome on his face.
So far, he’s taken a few photos with people he’s never seen in his life, and Harry hopes that the bride and the groom aren’t bothered.
He should be able to say no.
He really should.
Though, surrounded by friends and family, Harry feels like it’d be too much to say no to someone who obviously admires him and his music— admires him enough to want a photo with him.
His friend says something, and he laughs because he does, and he takes a sip from his drink, watching the flame from the lighter lick the end of his friend’s cigarette.
He’s enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of the countryside when he sees a shadow, and feels another presence behind them.
He turns around, somehow nervous and on edge, and notices her pink dress before her beautiful face.
She is beautiful, but he lets out a tiny sigh, and says, “Sorry, would it be okay if we didn’t take a photo?”
All three of them stop— his friend lets out a breath, and the woman’s perfectly shaped eyebrows raise in question— somehow offended at his request.
There’s another moment of silence before she takes a step back, and Harry notices she’s also holding a cigarette.
“Uh,” she lets out a laugh, like she knows something he doesn’t. “I wasn’t going to ask for a photo. Your trousers…”she looks down at his outfit even though she’s next to him, therefore can’t really see the back of his trousers. “They’re ripped.”
“What?”
And, what?
“Your trousers, below the jacket. Ripped.“
Harry hears his friend laugh, and he also feels his cheeks flush in embarrassment. His whole body feels numb, though he can feel the ringing in his ears.
“Shit—” he murmurs, hand going to his back. He feels himself until his hand touches the ripped area. “God, I’m…really sorry.”
She shrugs. “Yeah, you should be.”
“I don’t normally— I’m not bothered normally, it’s just— it’s not my wedding and I kind of feel bad enough that people have been… you know?” He cannot help his rambling, words rolling off his tongue, though he doesn’t know if he’s making sense or not.
She looks like she’s bored. He guesses.
Though, he notices her checking him out, only a mere second before her eyes find his again.
“I get that. I guess.”
“I’m sorry. Again.”
“All good. I thought you might want to know, yeah?”
He turns to his friend, and notices him on his phone.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” He hisses.
He hears her laugh.
He doesn’t even listen to the man next to him list all the excuses why he hasn’t said anything, only hears the laugh she lets out.
He finds her gaze, and she bites her bottom lip.
“I guess,” she says, tone a tad softer than when she first came up to him. “I was one of the few who were looking…there.”
And well.
Harry’s always loved weddings.
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peachdues · 3 months
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It’s no secret that out of all the Hashira, Kyojuro Rengoku has the largest tiddies — and that’s a good thing, because it means you’ve got something sturdy to brace yourself against while riding him to high heaven.
Truthfully, he loves feeling you press your palms flat against his chest as you push yourself up and down his cock — he loves how you rake your nails down his skin, your hips dropping and rolling and grinding against him until he can do nothing else but resign himself to this — to you.
And when it’s all said and done, and you’re collapsed against him, sweaty and panting, he loves that you use his chest as your pillow. He cherishes the way you bury your face into the mass of his pectorals and hum, content and happy and full of him while his fingers travel lazily up and down your spine. He loves that you’re able to use his body to chase your high, and he’ll gladly give himself to you again and again until you’re satisfied. Because truly, the greatest pleasure for him is to see you happy and sated, ready to drift off peacefully against the soft firmness that is him.
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leezlelatch · 8 months
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Mary on a Cross, slowed, plays from your phone speaker as you watch the next TikTok on your FYP. It’s a shot of Copia, at the mic, and just as the chorus drops, he turns to make eye contact with the viewer. You squeal, kicking your legs out excitedly before curling up on the couch and breathing a blissful sigh.
“What are you doing?” Terzo’s voice pulls you from your moment, and you glance over at him.
“I’m watching a video of my boyfriend,” you say.
Terzo throws out a hand, gesturing wildly at Copia who sits across from him. “Your boyfriend is right here!”
“I know.” Your voice has a dreamy quality. “Copia, come over here and stare at me in real time.”
Copia obediently stands, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
“You really have your hands full with this one, eh?” Terzo laughs. Copia shrugs as he makes his way over to you, pulling you up and into his lap, his hands settling at your waist.
“Worth it,” he says, looking deeply into your eyes until your precious squeal reverberates through the room once more.
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palmettoshitposts · 1 year
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can we just celebrate dan wilds for a moment?
she captains a team that basically collects the biggest assholes from across the country each with a shit ton of trauma and she does an incredible job
she literally has to fight her team every step of the way and deal with everything they intentionally or inadvertently throw her way
she’s playing a co-ed sport but even her team has some insane levels of misogyny (which they are all educated out of, thank you very much 😌)
she has had her own shitty experiences but an insane level of resilience and care for those around her
she is up against it every step of the way but keeps! fucking! going!
tldr im in lesbians with fictional psu foxes captain dan wilds
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weebowe · 1 year
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"Stanley? Stanley, what's the matter? Why are you making that face?"
"Mnm..." [You.]
"Me? I do hope your expression isn't one of disgust, then, Stanley. What have I done to make you sneer like that?"
[Your eyes are too bright. I can't look at them for long.]
"Well! I'm sorry that my eyes are 'too bri'– wait, my eyes? You were staring at my eyes? What for? Did you need something from me?"
[No, I just like looking at them. They remind me of something... I don't remember. It's sitting in the back of my mind, but I can't place what exactly...]
"... Oh. Well, Stanley, I have to wonder if that something is a good thing–"
[Of course it is. Wouldn't be anything else.]
"I-I–.... mh. I, er... a-appreciate the compliment, Stanley."
"..."
"Wipe that grin off your face. You caught me off guard, that's all."
"...." [I think I remember what they remind me of.]
"Uhuh? And what do my eyes remind you of? That you just happened to recall at this very moment?"
[Goldenrods.]
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ashkii-0 · 2 months
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Derek after I draw him getting topped and fucked ruthlessly by my ocs for the 100th time
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sky-neverending · 9 months
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Kaz, getting ready to meet Inejs parents: How do I look?
Matthias: Like yourself.
Kaz: Shit.
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tamurilofrivendell · 1 year
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Trial By Proximity | Thranduil/Reader
summary: Reader has been brought before Thranduil in the throne room to answer for some crime they committed. They're feeling argumentative and Thranduil is amused and intrigued by their bravery stupidity.
written using a prompt from this list - “I’ll kill you if you touch me.”
read on ao3
a/n: listen, this took on a life of its own lmao. no real warnings but I guess it might have tiptoed towards the border of almost-steamy-ish, I really don’t know.
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You had been brought before the King of The Woodland Realm to answer for your supposed crimes. The argument that had ensued had been unexpected to all in the room, especially the king if the flash of surprise you thought you’d seen cross his expression was anything to go by. It seemed he had expected you to simply wilt beneath his hard gaze and acquiesce to his every word.
Never.
"I'll kill you if you touch me." Slipped from your mouth in a hiss as you stared up at the statue-like figure of the king on his throne. He sat high above you, chin held high, face impassive. Your words had stemmed from his threat to grab you by the arm and personally drag you to the dungeons hismself and throw away the key.
His gaze pinned you in place as a suffocating silence descended over the room. The guards shifted uneasily but you held firm, keeping your head up and your shoulders back, refusing to yield. Something flickered in his eyes as he looked back. Curiosity? Amusement? It wasn’t there long enough for you to figure out what it was but you could swear that the ghost of a smirk had started to tug at the corners of his lips as he stared at you.
Rising gracefully from his throne, Thranduil dismissed everyone else in the room with a gentle flick of his wrist. The guards could barely believe it but they also knew that their king was well equipped to protect himself in the event of a fight, and you were unarmed. You heard the shuffling of feet rushing to do their king’s bidding and leave the room but your gaze was locked together with Thranduil’s own as he began his slow descent down the steps. His hands were clasped behind his back as he closed the distance between you both.
You could clearly see now that, yes, he was definitely smirking.
“You will kill me?” His deep voice filled the room, echoing around you as a gentle mirth sparkled in his eyes. He was amused by you. Where most withered beneath his gaze, you stood tall. Defied him. It was foolish, stupid. It was also curious, intriguing.
“Yes.” You stared him down, though now that you were so close to him it was difficult not to become slightly enthralled. His voice, his eyes, his hair, his scent. He was entirely overwhelming but you reminded yourself why you were here in the first place. Reminded yourself that he was paranoid and distrusting. He was cold, he was cruel. He refused to listen to reason. You would not allow yourself to be enamoured by something so simple as his appearance. You would not fall under his spell.
Thranduil’s smirk widened slightly as he looked down his nose at you. He had moved closer, into your personal space, tilting his head just slightly as he regarded you. His hair fell down his broad chest in a wave of starlight and some distant part of you wanted to run your fingers through it, wondering if it was as soft as it looked.
“How, prescisely--” He spoke again, voice of velvet blanketing you, as he started moving. Pacing slowly around you like a wolf circling its prey before going in for the kill. “--would you expect to manage such a feat?” You found yourself overly aware of every single movement he made, forcing yourself not to look at him as he journeyed around you, looking you up and down.
Thranduil reappeared in your peripheral vision, a silver and green blur before he suddenly bent down, leaning in towards you. His nose was inches from your own and you could practically feel his body hovering in the slight space that still lingered between the both of you. His eyes studied every minute movement of your expression, the twitch at the corner of your eye, the nearly imperceptible quiver of your lips.
He was much closer now, far too close, yet he was not touching you. It seemed that he was going to incredible lengths to move as close to you as humanly possible without making any sort of actual physical contact whatsoever. His expression had brightened almost imperceptibly as he moved back to your front to face you and you looked back at him, taking in the unexpected situation you had somehow found yourself in.
He was playing with you.
You lifted your chin defiantly, scowling at him, which only seemed to amuse him more. He shifted ever closer, leaning down again just a little, his nose once more just before your own... he hovered in the space in front of you, gaze briefly roaming over your face as he took in your expression, like he was trying to read you. To see what effect he was having on you.
Your breath had caught in your throat as he came so close and any other clever comebacks you might have had disappeared before you could throw them his way. You swallowed thickly, watching a grin start to tug at his lips as he became more aware of your discomfort.
“Well...?” He pressed, raising one eyebrow to the sky as he dared you to answer his previous question, to continue your tirade against him. Frustratingly, you opened your mouth and still nothing came. A low chuckle rumbled in his chest at your speechlessness, well aware of the effect his little game was having, as he somehow leaned even closer. You could feel his breath mingling with your own as he stood, lips close enough to yours that you could have tilted your head just slightly and touched them with your own...
Stop it, you chastised yourself. He would not enchant you.
Thranduil shifted in front of you and your heart was hammering in your chest with a ferocity that had you thinking you could faint any second. How he was doing it you would never know, it felt like there was no space left between you both at all and yet he was still... not... touching... you.
However, this time you started moving too, stepping backwards away from him. It was entirely out of your control as you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction but you were unable to stop yourself. He followed you, his smirk only growing as his gaze stayed fixed upon your face, taking in every flicker that passed across your expression.
Suddenly, you came to a stop, and your eyes widened. Your back connected with the hard surface of one of the intricate pillars that stretched from floor to ceiling. There was nowhere else for you to go. Thranduil stopped when you did, having followed your entire retreat across the floor. You could feel the heat radiating off his body and you could smell the heady scent of him. The two things combined threatening to completely overwhelm you.
He was still not touching you.
Your gaze was locked with his own, not wanting to be the first to back down, but as the agonisingly silent seconds ticked by, it was just too much as you reached your limit. Your eyes flickered of their own accord, dropping to his mouth for just the briefest of seconds. That was all it took as another wicked grin spread across his face. You forced your gaze back up to his own, anger flaring in your expression at having lost the fight, but you had no chance to do or say anything because suddenly his lips were upon yours, his hands finally on you, fingers grasping your waist as he pressed his body up against your own.
A shiver of satisfaction ran through him as your fingers clawed at his tunic, kissing back instead of pushing him away, finally giving in.
It lasted too long and yet somehow not long enough as Thranduil suddenly let you go and stepped away, taking in the stunned sight of you as he clasped his hands behind his back once more. You were bewildered as the distance returned, and irritated by the fact that you wanted his mouth and his hands back on you.
“Now then.” He tilted his head, looking back at you with another one of those annoying, amused smirks of his. Smugness radiated off him in waves as he already knew the answer to his question. “Do you still wish to kill me?”
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starrynightsxo · 2 months
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cardan: *choosing a coronation cake with jude* you have a little something on your-
jude: *unimpressed* not this time husband, not this time.
cardan: I have no idea what you're talking about wife *quickly conceals hand armed with mound of frosting behind back*
jude: *sighing to nobody* I do not know what to do with this man.
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tunabesimpin · 6 months
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>:)
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>:3
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the-wereraven · 11 months
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Royal Margarine and Latte would have the "He don't bite", "YES HE DO!" conversation I'm sure
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nihilismtrcit · 1 year
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shots from the jungle 
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zorosdimples · 7 months
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Talk to me about Oliver aiku he INTRIGUES me but I also want to bat him away with a 5ft pole
jas, oh my god—where to begin?
oliver aiku is the worst.
he’s tall, strong, and dangerously good-looking with heterochromatic eyes and a perpetual five o’clock shadow. he’s friendly and charismatic—off the field, anyway—and talented at his sport. he can be reckless, sure, but what guy his age isn’t?
the issue with oliver is that he’s self-aware. he knows he’s attractive, in looks and personality. he knows this and uses it to his advantage. when he’s not at practice or at games, he always has some beautiful person hanging onto his muscular arm like an accessory. he’s short of no one to warm his bed, to accompany him to events, or to spend a night out with.
when you meet oliver, you can tell with a single glance that he is the dictionary definition of a walking red flag. he tells you everything you want to hear and lays on the charm so thick you’re nearly drowning in it. but you’re not stupid. one google search reveals the hordes of people he’s been with in the last year alone. he would be great if you were looking for a fling or a one night stand, but you’re looking for something more. no matter what saccharine lies leave his lips, you know that he will never be serious enough to give you what you need.
oliver is not used to rejection. especially from a pretty thing like you. he gets it, you want a boyfriend, blah blah blah. he can give you the boyfriend experience for a few weeks—maybe even a month or two—before he gets bored and finds his next victim. so why the fuck won’t you give him the time of day? have you seen him? have you watched him play? have you listened to anything he has said?
oliver has pulled out all the stops for a single chance. and nothing works.
oliver is not used to rejection. so when you reject him, he can’t stop thinking about you. you plague his every thought. he goes out with dozens of other people but he’s completely disinterested. he hasn’t fucked someone in months. he thinks he’s sick. when he realizes how hung up he is on you, he’s pissed. who gave you the right to occupy his mind? his focus is shot, his game is off, and he’s in a perpetually foul mood.
it isn’t until he entertains the idea of being with you—dating you, getting to know you, doing mundane things with you—that he calms down. when he thinks about being your boyfriend, it makes him…well, happy. he’s whipped for the first time in his life.
like the insufferable man he is, oliver wants what he cannot have. and he will do anything to anything to make you his and keep you that way.
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