about to beat the game with this character so figured it was about time i shared her. estrel, golden order scion and D's apprentice/adoptive daughter. more about her under the cut because. oh boy this girl's got lore.
one day D came by the Bestial Sanctum to collect his incantations paycheck and gurranq just. had a kid. and he was like "...fuck it, i could use some backup anyway" and the rest is history
current working theory is that she came up from the deep siofra well? but this is all a big question mark.
D is the one who gave her the name estrel, to reflect her new surface life as a hunter of death (and because i fucking love elden ring's thing with characters having multiple names). uldin is her original name, but sees very little use nowadays
she's a golden order fundamentalist but she'll also employ bestial (of course) and dragon cult, erdtree and two fingers incantations, and also some misc. sorceries when the need arises. no fire or black flame until after farum azula, and no dragon communion/bloodflame/etc ever.
she wasn't actually that interested in lordship at first, until it became clear that pursuing it was the only way to change the state of the world and permanently free those who live in death. for most of the game her goal is just to weed deathroot
...well, until D dies. then she's out for revenge. she does kill fia; it doesn't feel as good as she'd hoped, but at least she's dead.
she also lands herself in ranni's entourage, but isn't aware at the time of her role in the night of black knives. when she does find out, she leaves ranni's service for a while
the whole game is kind of a crisis of conscience for her, honestly. it takes fia's death, and seeing the death-prince in person, for her to finally determine that she will do whatever it takes to stand before the elden ring and fix what she's come to see as a deep sickness at the heart of the golden order—the rune of death being only mostly sealed, an age where none can truly die.
(those who live in death, tarnished reincarnation—it's all the same. souls are trapped in a twilight, becoming sickened by death without the release and return it should rightly bring. the sun needs to set on the golden prince, so that they may break through the night to a new dawn.)
other misc npc questlines: nepheli (childhood friends at the roundtable), rogier (tries to help him behind D's back, regrets it), sellen (aids her), corhyn and goldmask (eventually gets the mending rune of perfect order)
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Favorite type of monster?
werewolves. hands down. not enough people love them. curse spn for the whole omegaverse thing because now there are people in other fandoms writing "werewolf" fic that's really just abo-lite. i don't care about the fucking knots if you aren't going to commit to familial pack structures and exaggerated expressions/vocalizations and winter mood swings. we all know wolves don't do alpha hierarchies!!! this is common knowledge!!! stop plastering increasingly complicated forms of misogyny onto wolves, they do not deserve this slander!
close second is mermaids.
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I don't talk about this stuff on here pretty much at all, but a past relationship really broke a ton of bits and pieces of my brain and heart in weird ways (I'm finally thinking about him almost never but the shit he pulled was abusive as hell and still affects me sometimes). Being in love with my current girlfriends for a while felt almost. Painful? Almost like I should be ashamed I can fall so deeply in love with people, and especially how quickly that can happen sometimes too. Thats how it kind of felt. I tend to get overwhelmed with emotions if I'm feeling them very strongly, and that has been extremely embarrassing and also felt almost like I was being a burden to those I love (which love is the main emotion that can 'get dialed up to 11' for me). It IS debilitating in some ways!!! It hasn't gotten bad enough I've been nonverbal in a really really long time but that happened this past week and it was wild to me.
Things are getting better now though! Therapy in the past has helped, and honestly having such patient and understanding partners has made a world of difference ;w;. my wife is someone who was one of my best friends and I had a huge crush on and now I can ask for cuddles and we can nap together and I've fallen so much in love. Her and her presence are literally heaven for me, I don't know if anything has ever made me happier than just laying next to her and feeling her warmth.
Worries of course flare up and I feel like I need to lean on her a lot during those moments, but I don't feel like too much of a burden to her. I love seeing the posts that say stuff like 'Its okay to be a burden' or 'its okay to be annoying' because really truly I think I need to be those things to survive sometimes. I can be 'a lot' and I can be a little bit obsessive and those things aren't inherently bad or evil of me. I just make sure I'm feeling okay during and after and make sure I'm checking in on myself often. I'm a bit of a broken girl, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely happy and living a life I love. I've written poems and everything about how it feels like it must hurt to love me and my broken jagged edges, but hey, even if it does a little bit, it doesn't mean someone like my girlfriend/wife won't go through a little bit of burden to love me, and I'm more than happy to return all of this and more for her as well if she's ever in need or feels broken ;^;
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What’s Your OC’s red flag?
@adelaidedrubman tagged me to take this uquiz to find out my OC/s’ red flags, and I’d actually already taken it for funzies, so here it is immediately.
Tagging @turbo-virgins, @marivenah, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @noetikat, @ishwaris, @josephslittledeputy, and @statichvm - sorry for any double-tags and no pressure! Anyone else who wants to do this, consider this an open tag.
Deputy Morgan Malone (FC5 OC)
manipulative
you're probably a passive aggressive person. you frequently lie, and gaslight to get your way. you never want to be held responsible for your actions so you avoid situations by either victimizing yourself, belittling others concerns, hiding the truth, and using threats to harm yourself or others
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