#idk why exactly but yeah

[sensazioneultra]

just reread the post i wrote this morning before work .. what was i on

#the way it's not very comprehensible and i don't even remember writing it #i wasn't under any influence like first of all i don't do drugs and i barely drink #secondly i hadn't even had coffee yet ??? #i was just *gestures vaguely at my mental illness* and today it's very hot #happy to say i didn't explode into pieces #i quickly was brought back to sanity (mostly) by having to work in the warehouse by myself #and by that i mean. i could Unleash the insanity by talking to myself (was slightly embarrassing bc there were sometimes ppl close but wtv) #you have no idea how good it is for me when i can talk to myself. like. i hate myself but BOY DO I TALK TO THEM (me) A LOT ANYWAY #i'm not even kidding it's amazing it's healing it helps!! #idk why exactly but yeah #so i was dying bc it was hot and there was nowhere to plug the fan and i was moving stuff around </3 but it was nice to be alone #anyway . i have the afternoon off i had rice i am vibing #(i'll have to work more next week ...... but whatever) #and i'm gonna try to gif #bye

[carlarte]

Oh, Hazel, look! The field! It’s covered with blood!’

Fiver is my favorite character in Watership Down, he's just like me fr. I was afraid this wouldn't read especifically as Fiver, but alas... i liked my initial sketch a lot so i kept it as it was.

#my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #watership down #so just to make this absolutely clear.. this is fiver XD not an attempt of a book cover #even tho it looks so much like many watership down covers tbh #i didnt even realize until i was actually googling images for reference that i found a lot of wd covers have a rabbits profile and the fiel #what a bummer #but i still like this a lot #everyone and their moms thought about the same thing i guess #me included #anyway FIVER MY BOY #I LOVE HIM HES JUST LIKE ME #IDK WHY EXACTLY BUT I RELATE TO HIM SO MUCH #its like 'yeah i also have visions of chaos and death and despair its called having anxiety and depression' #ok no forget that

[b4kuch1n]

red lion wizard !

#pokemon #swsh #champion leon #wizard leon! one of em! #chose to color this one foolhardy style lmao. well it is done. I did Minimum cleaning up #this set is. well Im gonna draw the design sketch like with the toy doctor #but yeah the Other name for this one is 'wizard of performance' #which. uh. yeah there u go #Im actually flipfloppin between thinking this looks fine and feeling like I fucked up big time.... idk why. probably bc I put a h #uge splash of almond flavoring into this tea instead of like. two drops. like I wanted to #its literally like drinking perfume. why is vanilla fine when you add more than a few drops in but almond extract poisons you in real time #like why does a food flavoring smell exactly like something you Shouldn't eat. why is it made like that #well. I will sleep now. and maybe I'll dream. and then I'll know #have a good night lads! we are not immune to propaganda.

[clingyduoapologist]

🦝 BiggestofMen Follow

Ugh honestly Wilbur is such a bitch like yeah you came back from the dead ooohhhhh big fucking deal so did I you don’t see me whining about it grow a pair jeeeeeeeeee sussss

__________________________________________

🧍WilburSoot423148 Follow

Tommy I still fucking follow you asshole

__________________________________________

🦝 BiggestofMen Follow

122 notes

#idk who that gif is but why does it look almost exactly like Tommy😭 #anyways yeah this is them #dream smp #c!crimeboys

[luuxxart]

evil win! the ones plotting for your mysterious death are uncle and nephew!

#persona 5 #persona 4 #goro akechi #tohru adachi #uncle Adachi au #this came from the idea of apophenia #which means connecting dots that aren’t there #every time I see these two in fanart I go ‘wow . Adachi is so uncle coded here. akechi is totally his nephew. everyone is thinkign this’ #false. my au has not reached enough eyes #so I just idk wanted to draw them next to each other to inspire further apophenia in both me and perhaps my followers lol #i was inspired by someone who like. literally just drew them beside each other and I was like. yeah i could do that #NO I COULDNT. NOT EASILY #my brain was like ‘you should do a comic abt how Adachi can’t help but see his sister in akechi bc they look almost exactly the same’ #and there was a lot more angst in the arsenal as well #took me forever to just. draw this. like literally I thought I was gonna go insane #i cant. not. draw. a comic. or something with the vaguest of stories it is SO HARD idk why #so this was definitely a struggle. hope y all like it

[quatregats]

Something I've been thinking about is how Patrick O'Brian manages so skillfully to write characters whose actions contradict their beliefs, which I think is honestly a big part of why his characters feel so real. Mostly with Stephen and Jack—e.g., and perhaps most notably, Stephen has notably leftist sympathies (honestly I have no idea how to characterize his politics in period terms) who nonetheless becomes very comfortable with his rise to the landed gentry, while Jack is a card-carrying Tory who much of the time sympathizes far more with working class sailors and farmers than with the upper classes—but I'm sure he does it to a lesser degree with some of his minor characters (James Dillon, while perhaps not precisely minor, comes to mind), and I love that he's able to do that, especially the way in which he embeds it in the narrative. We see how they're all unreliable narrators of themselves; we understand how they want to be seen and how that does and doesn't coincide with the reality, but most importantly, this isn't presented as something reprehensible, just as a part of their own humanity. They are not their expectations for themselves, but they don't need to be those expectations to be beloved.

#stephen is especially guilty of this and i think it's very interesting how he thinks of himself versus how he acts #which is probably an essay on its own #but i do think that this is another point he and jack make a fun foil on #(for jack this manifests much less explicitly but i think it's definitely still there) #i can't think of other characters atm besides james dillon #(who okay. his actions don't contradict his beliefs exactly but there is a weird and complex relationship between them) #though i do suspect that there are probably more #idk i've been thinking about this a lot because o'brianizing hornblower has brought to the forefront #how different those two authors treat internal/external narratives #patrick o'brian is kind of like yeah they don't really line up but that's okay that's just what it's like to be a person #while for hornblower and cs forester it's like the internal narrative is so unbelievably unreliable and negative #but the external narrative also seems to be resoundingly positive #(which is probably why. in my humble opinion having watched two episodes of it. the tv show is much more Fun) #writing hornblower in o'brian format is just like wow there is no weirdness going on did i write him wrong #but no it's hornblower he just sounds so much more normal without the 24/7 mental gymnastics #perce rambles #aubreyad

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

I've been seeing this reels or tiktok videos about people who are so disarming face-wise or vibe-wise which causes random strangers to tell them all their secrets or trauma dump to them, so imagine a reader like that who's an executive of one of the toxic gangs in Tokrev like Kanto Manji/Tenjiku/Bonten. You're so disarming that your allies or even enemies end up telling you about your recent breakup or trauma when you didn't even do anything. You're just there like: 😀😀😀???

However, I can see your fellow executives encouraging it because of the useful information. Koko likes the idea of spending less money on informants, the Haitanis love the tea, and if you're in a gang with more ambitious people like Izana and Kisaki they'll weaponize you 💀.

Lmao oh the poor reader who ends up in that situation. They just want to hang out and have a good time but instead they keep learning everyone's darkest secrets...

The first time you meet Izana is in the orphanage, he's new but is immediately drawn to you. You feel safe to him, different then how the others feel so of course he declares you as his servant right away. You felt a bit offended by that at first but went along with him anyway.

During the day time when the other kids are around, he's strong, a king. But when it's just the two of you he tells you everything. How alone he is, how much he misses his mum and Emma, how scared he is here. You just listen and hug him through it all, telling him it'll be ok.

He introduces Kakucho to you when he arrives, Kakucho who's just been told to forget his parents. That night, after Izana falls asleep, Kakucho breaks his word to Izana. Telling you all about his parents and what happened, about how he agreed to be Izanas servant too and about how he doesn't know what to do anymore. You soothe his fears and tell him that you'll be here for him too, the three of you together.

Over the next few years the three of you grow up together, following Izana. He founds the 8th gen black dragons but keeps the two of you away from it.

You're there for him when he finds out the truth about Shinichiro, you watch as he throws things around, smashing them and yells. Watch as he runs out of energy and ends up crying into your lap and chest. You're not entirely sure what to say in this situation but comfort him the best you can. He ends up falling asleep on you and you sit there, wondering what will happen next.

He threatens you when he wakes up, he does it often. He'll let you see his emotions then threaten you to never tell anyone about it. Though you both know he's bluffing, he couldn't hurt you.

Shinichiro dies and that terrifies you because Izana shuts down. It's the first time he won't talk or let his feelings out. You and Kakucho do your best to care for him but you can see it's not helping, nothing is changing, not until he arrives...

Kisaki is a strange boy. One minute he looks at you with warmth, like you remind him of someone or something else then the next he's glaring at you like he hates you. He refuses to be left alone with you, it's almost like he's afraid of something.

Izana invites you to join tenjiku, he wants you there and says you can be very helpful for him. Of course yoy say yes, you're just happy to see him like his old self again. But...things are different this time. He's back to opening up to you, emotions spilling out before he can stop them but you can tell he's holding something back.

You get to finally meet the others, the S62 members you've heard so much about. Shion immediately takes a shine to you, introducing himself and bragging about his past achievements, asking you if you want to see him fight. Mochi soon shoves him out of the way to introduce himself, he shakes your hand and says he looks forward to working with you. He seems so genuine in his words that you can't help but smile back. The Haitani brother's approach you from either side, slinging their arms around you and "welcoming you".

You think you've got them all figured out until that night and the next day. All four of them end up seeking you out alone and spending some quiet time with you. Telling out their insecurities and ambitions, letting you see more of them. All of them laugh it off after, saying they were just kidding around but you could tell they meant it.

After that you all fall into a comfortable routine of preparing to attack toman. The Haitani brother's want to know the latest gossip, Kakucho tells you about his worries for Izana, Mochi and Shion work with you, helping you get to people who's secrets tenjiku wants and Izana still confides you but without giving you details.

The day you attack toman, you're paired up with Shion. You have a good and bad cop kinda routine, where Shion beats them then you kindly help them back up and take care of their wounds. They spill all kinds of secrets to you while you help them. Everything from the structure of toman, to it's meeting spot, to it's members.

You meet Mucho and Sanzu later, the meeting itself is very formal but once again they seek you out later. Mucho get's onto the subject of Mikey and let's it slip about his guilt of choosing Izana. You're about to try comforting him when he realises what he just says and quickly leaves. Leaving you alone with Sanzu...

"What are you?" You flinch slightly when he speaks, forgetting he was even there. He tilts his head at you, curious as to why Mucho just told you that, why he let his guard down around you. More importantly he wonders if you could be helpful for other people, a way of being able to read what Mikey's thinking and what he wants. He walks away without another word, instead planning.

You meet Koko the next day, he's still hurt from Mucho and no ones even offered him any first aid. You sigh and fix him up yourself, he watches you intensely the whole time before muttering that someone called Inupi normally does this for him. He practically gives you his life story after you ask who that is, even Akane's name slipping out. You're both horrified after, Koko realising what he just said and you after hearing such a sad story. You're not sure what to say next so you tell him about your own childhood. The two of you end up as friends by the end of the day.

You're in your room one day when Kakucho suddenly barges in, frantically talking about a murder and how sorry he is for not telling you sooner. Your blood runs cold as you ask him to explain. "Kisaki and Izana planned what????"

You run to Izana after that, need to talk him, need him to explain. He must be so lost after that so he needs someone to talk to right?

Someone grabs you before you can climb up the stairs to him. Hanma. He has you by the waist, stopping you from interrupting Kisaki and Izana's conversation. Refusing to let you stop Izana from falling further into darkness and ruining Kisaki's plans.

You next see Izana at the docks, getting ready for the fight. He refuses to even look at you, too focused on the fight and Mikey then his own emotions. Instead you stand next to Kakucho, waiting for all this to be over so you can be alone with Izana.

Kakucho tells you to stay on the shipping containers while the fight goes on, you promise to stay and not move.

You nearly break your promise a few times, when you see each of the S62 fall or when Koko starts getting upset but you listen to Kakucho.

It's not until Izana starts losing it and arguing with Kakucho that you hastily climb down, running to him. But you never reach him.

Instead you see Kakucho get shot, you try to run to him, to get in front of him but someone catches your arm. Turning around, you see Sanzu stopping you from getting closer. Time slows down after that, Izana gets shot, the gun falls to the floor, Sanzu let's you go and you fall to your knees beside Izana and Kakucho.

You frantically try to stop the bleeding but Izana grabs your hands instead, holding them. Telling you his emotions for the last time and letting the rest of his secrets slip out. Kakucho reaching out to do the same.

You're not sure how long you kneel there, they both stopped talking already and you know they're both gone, telling yourself that you're imagining the warmth in Kakucho's fingers.

The Haitani brother's help you up but they don't keep you with them, instead guiding you over to Koko and telling the two of you to run.

The next day you wake up at Koko's apartment, where you hear the news. Running to the hospital you practically launch yourself into Kakucho's arms. This time you both tell your secrets, helping each other to cope with the loss of Izana and talking through it together.

When he's released from the hospital, you go to meet him so you can both pay your last respects to Izana. Then you both head to your apartment, looking after each other....at least until a tall man arrives months later looking for both of you.

#ok went a bit off track here ngl idk why this became so Izana centric or how we got here exactly but yeah it was fun #i went with tenjiku here but i think with other gangs and in different timelines kisaki would've had more of a use for the reader it's just #he saw them as more of a threat here and purposely avoided them to not let his guard down #tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo revengers spoilers

[petrichorium]

I just think……. Jing Yuan is very hedonistic w you. He’s let himself be more loose in his older years, lazes about, indulges in little things he’d always denied himself in his youth. But you are hardly some little indulgence; you’re something he’s ravenous about, eager to sink his teeth into, desperate to devour entirely.

He’d been downright celibate for many centuries—incidentally, really; not particularly enthused by much and not particularly gifted with much free time with which to pursue anyone—and though he can’t say he’s exactly bitter about that, he has found that his newly rediscovered lust drawn forth by you is far more intense and far less dignified than it once was. And why should he deny himself the pleasure of giving in to it?

#all that to say yeah he’s A Bit Of A Weirdo #licks you A Lot. Everywhere. #smells u A Lot too. sometimes not even in private. #kinda sleazy…….. #sorry. idk what this even stemmed from but it’s making me 😵‍💫 #well ik it stemmed from kae’s pit post but idk why he came to mind exactly #this is my attempt at explaining it #char.🌧 jing yuan

[arsenicflame]

since we all appear to be talking about izzy 'calling the police' on stede id like to offer my silly little two cents:

its not like the navy wasn't actively looking for him anyway??????

at most, izzys actions sped up badminton catching up with stede, but its made very clear that badminton wanted Stede dead well before this, and was willing to use whatever he could to find him- whos to say jackie wouldnt have cut a deal on her own? that any other pirate thats seen them being unsubtle in a port wouldn't take the opportunity to make a quick buck over a guy who is Nobody and holds no influence that could lead to any consequences for them?

in reality izzy is probably the only person who would receive negative repercussions to selling out stede, given his personal connection with ed- any other pirate would probably have gotten away unscathed, anonymous. they likely wouldnt have even been present like izzy was. izzy had personal stakes, anyone else would have taken the money and ran

the way i see it, with or without izzy the events of episode 10 probably would have happened in some degree, izzy just expedited the timeline

#like ok. i dont exactly support izzys actions but i honestly dont see it as that big of a deal??? to our characters i mean #idk i just. its a dick move!! but i struggle to see it as any more than that #its the actions of a desperate man who made a stupid decision to get his.... ed. out of what he saw as a bad situation #whether it is or not i cant say! but you cant deny ed drastically changed in the time he was on the revenge #in a way that could be concerning from the outside #(i saw a good post kinda comparing it to your friend ending up in a cult and. yeah. excellent description from an outside perspective) #idk theres a lot of. undertones in the way people say 'calling the police' and also they always say ed too and its like. no! izzy tried to #get ed out of there! he set the navy on everyone BUT ed. and its not like the navy really cared about the crew. only stede #i am not the person to talk about why 'calling the cops' is a bad take but the posts are out there. ive seen them. #izzy did what hundreds of pirates did to save their own hide- including hornigold himself (but honestly that was worse because he actively #turned hunter. not just a guy with a tip) #also side historic note that uhh. the navy was casually in Nassau. what exactly was the situation there??? was shit occurring. w #we know it did in history #idk #nyxtalks #ofmd #izzy hands #israel hands #spanish jackie 🤝 izzy: girlbosses for selling stede out to the British/Spanish for their own gain #idk i think thats the one thing he did 'wrong' but ita still very sympathetic to me #its not like izzy dibbed in a guy nobody cared about #'hey hey ill sell you information about this pirate please let me sell you information' ' i mean i guess we are supposed to be doing that' #badminton had an active vendetta against stede and kinda seemed like. he would stop at nothing to get him??? #given. the whole 'id rather let blackbeard go and kill Stede than take a huge pirate into custody' thing

[cuteniarose]

Personally I find it really funny that based on what the twins said in the Book 2 finale re: having to tell their mom about what happened to Unalaq, it's literally canon that Unalaq's wife a) exists, b) is alive, and c) is just chilling in the Northern Water Tribe

She took one look at all the spirit fuckery her husband was getting up to and went "Well that's none of my business" and honestly I respect that

#oh and when I say spirit fuckery I mean it in both the literal and metaphorical sense. blame kat's latest raava and vaatu fic #yeah I'm just gonna start posting random LoK opinions on here now. this blog's been dead long enough #not really an incorrect quotes girly anymore sorry #not even a girl anymore. but you know #most of my red lotus and oc posting will remain on my personal blog though bc no one wants to see that #anyway. yes. Unalaq's wife. when I say the avatar franchise has a mom problem this is exactly what I mean #80% of characters don't have a mom. the moms that are alive either have little to no screen time or mentions #or they're basically Schroedinger's mom in the sense that they exist but not really #the exceptions being like. pema and suyin. and maybe senna though she also has very little screentime #my point is. the twins are younger than korra. I know avatarverse has a precedent for putting kids on the throne. looking at you zuko #but really we should have gotten unalaq's wife as chief of the nwt #introduced her in book 3 during the lead up to p'li's prison break #but that's just my objectively correct opinion #northern water tribe chief raspberry when #(according to avatar wiki her name is malina so I've been calling her raspberry in my head ever since I found out #malina means raspberry in russian that's why. probably in a bunch of other slavic languages too idk I'm not an expert #and she shares a name with katara and sokka's weird white stepmom from the comics which no sane person considers canon. so that's fun) #the legend of korra #unalaq

[finncakes]

barking and screaming and crying i cannot believe i have to wait like three weeks to see bells hells again

#critical role #cr #cr3 #chetney pock o'pea #orym of the air ashari #orym #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #ashrym #you bet your ass i am sitting here thinking abt them and nodding to myself like 'yes exactly i was so right he WOULD say that.' #exactly as tender as my brain hoped...fuck yeah babey !!!!!! #also lotsa chet to make up for how little i've drawn him. #now that i figured him out i want to draw him more cause genuinely he's great and i find him really interesting #SUUUPER excited for these trials #i want to watch chetney go through the master sw ord trials and die #idk why i am convinced this will be like bo/tw master sw ord trials but look #go through 13 layers of hell chetney. do it now. #<- said with all the affection in the world #still sick but i finally have energy to scribble #cr spoilers #FUCK I FORGOT THAT TAG SO SORRY #ep doodles

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I guess my outlook on Mori and Dazai's dynamic is - it wasn't abusive. Dazai was Mori's subordinate, yes, he absolutely could (and did!) manipulate him to an extent, and he had this weird need to teach Dazai everything he knew because he really projected hard on that kid, huh?

Thing is, Dazai held enough power in that dynamic such that he was never completely subservient - only person who knew the truth about Mori's takeover, threatening to overthrow him, etc. Moreover, abuse is something that is perpetuated over time and I really see no proof in the story so far that this happened.

However, one thing I'd like to make clear, and my true takeaway from this, is that just because a relationship isn't abusive does not mean that it can't be god-awful for your psychological well-being.

Mori did not abuse Dazai, but Dazai still does better (even if only a little) when he is away from him and his amoral utilitarian views.

#i have a previous post i made about dazai in the q chapter #and how he not only adapts to the situation and people but is also easily influenced by them to think in a certain way #yeah this is exactly what i mean by that #idk maybe this is an unpopular opinion #but i think mori respects dazai #but in turn he was not treated like a child or like a seriously mentally unwell person who could've used some help #and the idea that dazai got worse from his time in the mafia #like that's not headcanon that's explicitly stated in stormbringer #he was definitely off before he met mori and i have no illusions that he was completely innocent before that point #but all i'm saying is the abuse happened much earlier and it was someone else - perhaps the old boss??? #i'm still curious about that connection tbh they clearly knew each other #also i made a post earlier about mori and how he isn't actually that similar to dazai #all i'm going to say is that i genuinely cannot buy dazai's 'threats' to overthrow mori as serious #he's lazy as hell why would he want to lead the mafia outside beast #the only purpose that served was reminding mori that he did not have full control over him #or that's how i took it #bsd #bsd mori #bsd dazai #bsd meta #i guess? #storyrambles

[sewrysz]

moss grotto

GIVE ME THE GAME

#my art #fanart #hollow knight fanart #silksong #silksong when? #hollow knight hornet #silksong hornet #silksong fanart #AaaaaAAAAA #gonna be honest with u guys #im not very happy how this one came out idk why exactly but yeah #but oh well. not every new drawing is gonna be your next best one am i right #anyway #i god damn need this game #like spmetimes id sit down and think about how sick silksong is gonna be #abdbfhfhdhhd i cannot wait

[dalloneveryday]

day 68. i love how theyre just 👍

#5588 #dallon weekes #dallon is so. handsome. idk why im saying handsome now but it feels right. #ALSO FUN FACT GUESS WHOS IN THE TOP 100 OF IDKHOW LISTENERS. THATS RIGHT ITS ME WHO ELSE WOULD IT HAVE BEEN. #13.7k minutes is. PATHETIC i will do better this year trust. #AND TOP 100 BROBECKS LISTENERS!!!! not very difficult though. 5.5k mins. but still thats kind of insane #i also use apple music so. for all i know that could be top 100 out of 500k other listeners idk. it doesnt say on there #still! im pretty proud. seriously though thats like ridiculous #also 9/10 of my top songs were dallon😭. every one has 200+ plays.😭😭😭😭😭😭 #my number 1 has 400 EXACTLY and then 2 has 350 and 3 has 320! so that made me smile. and then razzmatazz ruined it with 313. #AAAAAGGHH. it could have been perfect and beautiful #also do it all the time is my number 1 song again for the second year in a row. #might even be third! #yeah…. yeah. #p*nic

[muttsandmustelidae]

i feel like the way ‘dogtok’/‘dogstagram’ talks about reactivity makes reactive dog owners feel a lot more ashamed than they ought to

#idk i just.. don’t really see anything to be ashamed about? and i hate the ‘your dog is reactive because you FAILED’ mindset #sometimes you do absolutely everything right and the universe still throws some shit at you that leads to reactivity #and it’s just a thing that happens sometimes #dogs are animals with teeth and claws and fur and tails #they shit outside and roll in dead things and sniff each others butts #and sometimes have big feelings about things #and that’s just part of being a little critter #it’s not a moral failing on anyone’s part that your dog is a dog instead of a cardboard cutout of a dog #not everything goes smoothly 100% of the time and sometimes you end up with an extra Thing that needs to be worked on #and yeah of course Working On It can be stressful. no one wants to see their dog having a hard time. which is exactly why we don’t need to #-be pushing the added stress of GUILT #it’s not helpful to anyone. it doesn’t prevent reactivity in the future. it just makes someone who’s already having a hard time have a- #-worse one #this is not a situation that needs blame #idk if any of this makes sense #my meds are making me a lil weird lmao #@ everyone who has a reactive dog: you’re doing a great job and if anyone tries to make you feel guilty #eat them #keep Workin On It and remember that Dogs Is Dogs #kill the goblin in your brain that tells you you’re the worst guy to have ever done it #you’re normal your dog is normal. give both of you a cookie rn

[lesbiansanemi]

I hate when I’ll be complaining about some stupid bullshit a coworker does to other coworkers and half the time their response is to lower their voice and go “well…. You know…. I’m pretty sure they’re… on the spectrum, you know?” And every time I have a split second when I have to consider saying “you know I’m autistic, right?” just to make them vaguely uncomfortable for a few minutes and actually think about what they’re implying but of course I do not do that because the gratification is not worth a large sect of shitty coworkers knowing that about me and then talking about me like that every time I do something vaguely annoying or dumb but man…. It does get tempting sometimes

#like idk!!! sometimes the coworkers in question DO display some common autistic traits #but that is NEVER what is being complained about (at least not by me) so WHY are we bringing it up like that el oh el #like when I say ‘yeah I don’t like this coworker because of the shitty fucking things she did to my friend’ #the response should not be ‘well I think she’s autistic isn’t that so funny she’s so obsessive about stuffed animals it’s annoying’ #shut up shut up SHUT UP AND DIE #I don’t CARE that they talk too loud I don’t CARE that they’re bad a social cues I don’t CARE that they do ‘weird things’ #and it’s so. HFDJSJKSKSKS AAAGGHHHHH #whether they’re autistic or not MAYBE that’s not what should be getting brought up during a conversation like that when it has NOTHING to do #with it #also maybe we shouldn’t be doing shit like whispering ‘on the spectrum’ like its some awful terrible thing #just thoughts idk #and the thing is too is that even if I told these ppl I was autistic #they would 100% be the types that are like ‘oh? but you don’t ACT autistic I don’t think you are’ #like actually I got very good at masking for these reasons thnx #also you think autism = Sheldon from the Big Bang theory and nothing else #but I already learned my lesson cuz I told a coworker that I wasn’t sure about exactly twice #one of them went ‘oh THATS why you’re so dumb and don’t realize when other ppl don’t like you and take advantage of you’ #and then the other one went on a mansplaining spiel about how me being autistic was why adhd meds didnt work on me?????? #so yeah. never doing that again. haha. hahahaha. hahahaha…… #this actually happened a few days ago but it’s been Bothering me so much #I hate my fucking job…. #kaz rambles