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j4y-lvr · 1 year

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day flower … park jongseong

SYNOPSIS. bent over the sink, coughing up petals and blood, you knew that your worst fears had come true.

PAIRING. jay x fem!reader

GENRE. fluff, angst, lovers2?, established!relationship (?), hanahaki au

WARNINGS. profanity, mentions of food, mentions of blood, quite a lot of kissing, possibly making out (?), one mention of loss of weight, graphic, mcd(?), death(?)

WORD COUNT. 5.3k

NOTE. i just wanted to write something sad and i came up with this,, idk why i chose jay to fit my mental image of this bc its so saddening to even imagine— EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD PLS DO READ😭‼ thoughts on an alternative ending? update:: I MADE ONE: !! ALTERNATE ENDING. !!

Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!

i. the bud blooms

At the ripe age of 12 you were sent away with your mother after a preceding divorce bought with complexities and the drop of niceties. This, however, was your chance at a fresh start or whatever your mother bullshited about when you knew you'd nonetheless be a burden to her.

Maybe she was prepping you to put up with her never coming home nor checking up on you as time passed. With no real restrictions you spent your time outside after school and by the field of daffodils you found after a hike up the crest of a low hill.

A google search on the then simplistic site displayed that daffodils symbolise new beginnings, quite accurate given your situation. Much hadn't changed now as only the site was cleaned up to look mod and appealing but the information remained.

On the sole field you met a boy. Dark hair brooding his lowered eyes, and he wore nothing but a tiresome look on his face. He stepped forward and scrunched his nose in annoyance at the sight of you, an intruder to his scarce peace. "ugh, whatever, just stay on that side of the field and don't disturb me," With no one to tell you when to not bother someone, you did exactly that, eventually getting him to gleam a boyish smile at you.

Just like the search engine viewing your answer, that boy, jay, seemed to have an answer for almost everything. Smart and logical, would always rationalise with himself and was punctual with his timings at the gripping age of 13. Not once had he been late when you’d inquire to meet him the very next day, finding him at his usual spot, grimacing at the withered flowers. His punctuality and love for flowers (?) scared you, either he was messed up in the head or he'd been expected to act like an adult for the majority of his life, to live up to his parents expectations.

He wandered to these fields for his lonesome mind to sing to some melody of a song you didn't know, caressing the petals of the varied and wilting flowers. You accompanied him with a sketchbook in hand, your hands at work, your ears to his humming and occasional tunes with no comments or interruptions. You had not a thread attached with his absolute, practical life, and that's what he grew to enjoy as he sang you sweet songs and admired the minimalist beauty of flowers for hours together before he vanished back the trail he hiked up.

A decade long later, he stood the same punctual, intellectual, stellar citizen as his facial features matured and took a dark yet captivating bloom while he sobered from a teen to a young adult. Now the heir of his grandfather's company, he revelled in the success of his grandfather's business. To say he grew would be an understatement, rarely ever flashing you that lovable boyish grin, never to sing his silly little tunes in front of you again.

You weren't one to pry, years into your first ever relationship with your first love and beyond afraid to lose your loose yet stitched in place frail, threaded red heart the two of you share. The photobook stared upon you, urging you to reminisce about your uneventful past filled with mostly jay. The current times didn't get any exciting either, you painted and attended exhibitions, the usual smile carried on your peach tinted lips at the guests and those interested in buying your pieces.

Contrary to this, jay barely made it home, cooped up in his office all day everyday, allowing himself to come home merely upon completing his work. You didn't mind really, the two of you went out, spoke to each other often, and were happy. This while around, he had been distant for a week or two, his longest record of shutting you out till date. You figured he was exhausted mentally and gave him the space though you wished to circle in his arms and breath wistfully.

You veered your attention to the pages and stopped on one of jay, sat beneath the tree near your old, broken, rundown house, looking into the farther distance, admiring the view, and so were you at the time, etching each feature of his delicately put together face, ingraining it in your mind, taking out your then new but now ancient camera to capture the spectacle.

You grin at the photo stuck, your orbs drifting to the messy lyrics he'd written in english to match the mood of the moment, this particular one that of your favourite song till date, one that he used to sing you to sleep.

"what are you looking so fondly at," uttered jay whose presence you failed to recognise in the room, his exasperated expression making you almost coo at him. You patted on the bedding beside as he followed, crossing your painting that you'd left to dry for hours ere.

"our photo book," you replied gaily, surprised to see him speaking to you after weeks, instinctively reaching for his cheek and staring into his eyes to find the very night sky in them, to find them gleaming right at you, the type stars would beam before they went out. A mesmerising yet sad beauty.

His gaze flickered from your soulful eyes and he glued his sights to the photo and hummed in agreement, "i guess i've always looked this good," he finished the tire in his vocals evident with a slight snicker. You shifted closer to him on the bedding which you wrinkled in the process, "you always have," you completed, pulling him closer by the hand that cupped his cheek.

You drawled yourself up to his level, running your thumb back and forth on his soft skin while your other hand ran through his soft hair, watching as he watched you with this solemn look you couldn't put a finger on. You smiled wider and hovered your lips over his as you ultimately gave in to his alluring presence and pressed your soft lips to his in a desperate yet sweet manner.

He hummed from bewilderment and slinged an arm around your waist, inching the distance closer than possible, tilting his head further and into you as he danced with your lips. You pulled away and gasped, blinking as bliss hit you, wondering if it could get any better than this? You drew away and slotted your lips on his again, covering his frantic yet slow lips, kissing him passionately, emptying out your heartfelt sentiments in the shared motion.

You climbed off and undid his tie and the first button of his dress shirt and told him to wash up, getting to your feet, fetching him comfortable clothes and a glass of water to drink. He changed into them after washing up and sat back down on the mattress, back pressed to the headboard, the glass coming in contact with his lips that stained yours not long ago.

He glugged the cool water down his throat and set the now empty glass on the bedside table, your hand ruffling his hair as he yearned for your lips to confirm his doubt, tugging down and setting his lips against yours to feel the emotion again as you relaxed into his warm touch after a long day.

He separated the connection as a string of saliva drew apart and suspended, a sigh of what you thought was content from jay as he flopped to the soft matting underneath him. A pit settled in his stomach and he felt guilt. He chose to ignore the feeling and set his eyes to a close.

You joined him, clinging onto him, kicking on the blanket to yourself and snuggling into his shoulder with a grin. Jay forcefully shut his eyes with a wince he hoped you'd miss it and placed his hand on your waist. Jay pretended to sleep as you hiked up on your elbow, leaning to press a peck to his forehead and mutter, "i love you."

Truth be told, jay sighed out of worry than content.

ii. blossom

You gotten used to the sight of jays absence when you awoke from your prolonged slumber, even the days you rose as early as 8, he’d be out the door, bidding you goodbye as he tucked in the loop of tie and tighten it around the collar, patting you on the head before bolting out the door and zooming off in his vehicle.

He’s been distant but never avoiding, and that's what you felt like he was doing this time; avoiding. As painful as it was to accept the fact that he had been avoiding you for the past week was hurtful. Yes, he was out and at work, he hadn’t stepped foot in the house since a week, nor would he receive your calls, excusing himself through text messages shorter than 5 words.

Time you made him show up yourself.

You spent almost the entire day prepping your setting, going as far as decorating and cooking something you saw online which ended up pretty decent. Now, all you needed was to lure jay like a wasp to light. You picked up your cell, dialling his number, your throat feeling rather scruffy as you coughed on the ringing line to soothe the uncomfortable sensation.

“did i work too hard for this, i feel my throat closing up,” you mumble, waiting for the line to connect, the mere automated voice blaring through your ear canal causing you to hang up and opt to text him. “come home, its an emergency,”

Not the best, but surely it’d do the trick, and in an hour's time, jay showed up, panting as he bolted the door open, “where's the fire!” he shouted, standing in the common room, across your resting figure on the couch. You yelped and got to your feet, rushing over and placing both hands over your heart, “here.”

His expression morphed from his initial shock to confusion and to anger. He should've seen it coming as it was February the 14th, Valentine's day. Discarding the tie to his fist, he stared you down with menacing eyes, making you gulp down the present discomfort in your throat, your fearful yet expectant orbs gazing into his raged one.

“i’m really trying to control myself,” “good, we haven’t even started,”

With his tongue poking the side of his cheek from annoyance, you led him to the backyard where a table was set from your preparation and he seemed surprised at the notion, and his mouth slitted open as you hauled the piping hot dish towards the meagre wobbling metal table that withheld the dishes well, allowing you to take a seat opposite of jay.

The look in his eyes was penetrating, feeling your throat close in more as you coughed uncontrollably prompting him to hand you a glass of water, glued to his seat as he observed you heave up and down before the hectic coughing subsided and you felt the air reach your nostril and travel without a hitch to your lungs.

“sorry, i, uh, made us dinner,” you conveyed, forcing a wide smile while overlooking your fit of spontaneous fits of coughing, “i can see that,” he responded sternly, beginning to serve the food onto both plates, his eyes not letting up the cold act for a millisecond, like he almost meant it.

You picked at your food, staring at him eat wordlessly, the irritation in your throat causing you to gag and wince every now and then before you mustered to pierce through the tension filled atmosphere, “did i do something wrong?” The resounding clang of the utensil to the plate made you straighten your back, “no, i’m just upset over the fact you had to lie to get me here,” he paused, drifting off into a daze, “i haven’t come home in a while, i know,”

He shifted away from your constraint, locking eyes with his meal and eating the plate clean, “you’ve gotten better at cooking,” he commented, shutting his eyelids and leaning back on the cold metal of the chair, waiting for you finish your respective meal, making you swallow down the larger chunks in haste. You stood to your feet, the ordeal leaving a metallic taste in your mouth. The chair scraped back, you collected the dishes and placed them in the sink, the unsettling pit in your stomach only digging deeper with the irking sensation in the back of your throat growing ratched.

You went to bed with a heavy heart, his back facing yours as he wordlessly drifted to slumber, leaving you to your consuming thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, he really was exhausted. You shouldn't have been so disapproving of him for his mental absence.

Either way, your plan was an absolute failure.

The sun rose inevitably and jay arose to his right, feet planted on the rugged flooring, remaining sat on the bedding, heaving a loud sigh. He peered over his back to sneak a peek at your asleep state. The way your eyes were clamped shut and your brows furrowed with a strong pout spoke enough of your nightmare and jay exhaled into his palms away from you.

He'd hate to break your heart but he'd hate to lead you on even more. He couldn't bring himself to feel the same anymore, his emotionality drained and his sentiments aside, he felt guilt to have wronged you. He felt like a shitty person every morning to face your innocent stature suffocating him in wallow. So, every morning, he left before you awoke to stop the aching in his wilting heart.

The dip in the mattress rises as he does, stepping disheartedly to the bathroom to start his mundane routine. The shower head shoots water as his hair dampens, his sole salty tears mixing with the overhead resource, tears drowning in silence. You stir awake with your throat suffocatingly sore to the point where swallowing water was excruciatingly painful.

The small clock on the bed side table ticked with faint clicks, the hour handle clocked at 7 with the longer needle on 40 as the splinter-like needle spun periodically. You coughed, finding it hard to breathe, the itching sensation increasing as you felt something will up your throat, your hand bracing your mouth in a clasp.

Mustering out the strange discomfort inducing object, you coughed out a petite, white petal, accompanied with a sized spot of blood painting its own canvas— your palm, per se. Observing the viscous liquid the upside length of your hand, you begin to feel nauseous, ripping the blanket off you and grasping your neck from pain.

You separated the petal from the splash or crimson, clutching it in your free hand as jay made his way over to you, draped in a bathrobe, ushering your tained palm inspect. He grimaced at the sight of blood staining your palm, his thumb instinctively finding your cheek rubbing it of what he attempted to seem affectionate.

Tears pricking your orbs, you urged forward and wrapped your arms around him merely to be held away from his hold with a jerk, making you gape clueless. "it'll stain," he reminded, though he'd pushed you for other reasons he couldn't have the guts to come clean too.

Wiping your eyes dry, you stepped away from him and washed away the substance while jay suited up for work. You left the premise and returned to where jay buttoned his shirt hastily. You strode up to him and finally found yourself in his hesitant hold, peering up to him with glossy eyes.

He sighed into your face, his arms tightening around you as you hiked to his eye level in your tiptoes to press a peck to his lips. You approached forward and pecked his lips, to confirm your growing doubt. You readjusted to kiss him, parting your mouth only for him to pull you back once again with another excuse.

"you haven't brushed your teeth yet," he delivered with a soft tone, running his hand down your bed hair. It stung. Not just your throat, your heart, years ago into your relationship you'd made out plenty of times with a nasty breath and none of you seemed to mind. He really was making… excuses.

The flowers, the blood—him avoiding you, your fleeting touch— most importantly, he began to ignore your feelings for him.

Jay was falling out of love with you.

iii. grow thorns

Desperate. That's what you felt coursing through your veins as you curled into a ball on the carpeted floor in the empty residence, jay long gone on a business trip to wherever. Upon your gruesome piecing together, you felt despair and spent most of your time wallowing in streams of tears.

It was March and you laid sick in bed, occasionally leaving to fulfil your regular duties as a human while completely neglecting physical activity and socialising, not like you were good at either but this case was extreme. The same boy you felt deeply connected to, the boy who made you understand what love felt like, the boy who showed you true love—which your parents always failed to accommodate— was also the boy who'd crumble your fragile beating soul to rubble.

Your first petals you coughed were once pea size petals that gradually turned into full fledged, grown petals, heaving up your trachea, branches growing in your lungs making it all the much harder for you to breathe. In arounv a week's time, was your anniversary with jay. It'd be foolish to think he'd just take you back like that after the answer of unrequited love stood from your lungs.

Perhaps if he broke your heart a second time, you would be convinced and mercilessly succumb to the inevitable.

You kept the petals you threw to a side, setting up a fresh canvas and painting a blank later for white onto it. Unsure of what to paint, you stood contemplating what you were even doing in the first place but the thought of gifting it to him seemed motivating and so you began.

Strokes of wet paint slapped onto the once pearly white canvas, skilledly sketching with your brush the outline of your objects, filling in the remnants of white into the backdrop of the portrait. It wasn't over till it was, eventually over. The faint lines of your boyfriend became clear and so had your mind. You knew what your next change of plan would be.

Jay returned around two weeks later and by then your health had declined and the loneliness merely increased. Hesitant to speak to you, you took the hint and mainted your distance as well, only interacting when needed as he used the spare bedroom to rest. Indeed,.t hurt to think that he found it hard to even sleep next to you but you weren't going to take it till he uttered the words himself.

Then came your anniversary. The two of you had been great friends for four years and then dated for four and you'd like to say that you both were still going strong, though your current situation said all but that. You requested jay to help in making dinner for the while none of you spoke a word of the day's occasion.

You were at work chopping the vegetables as jay readied the base, sprinkling some spices and checking the flavouring every now and then all without saying a word to you. Your eyes travelled from the steaming stew to where he placed the spoon between his lips, a furrow creasing on his face, tongue clicking.

"salt," he mumbled, eyes drifting from around where he situated, then shifting to around you. The salt was placed beside the chopping board, and that meant it was across you, an arm's distance. Without much thought, he stepped closer to you and reached for the salt, his arm brushing past your waist, causing him to tense, his orbs darting to yours.

You solemnly watched his eyes grow from hesitate to panic to worry. Worry, however, caught you off guard? His hand remained on the salt bottle, arm still at your waist. "you've gotten thin," he mustered, peering down at you. Your lips parted and cursed yourself for the water gathering in your tear glands.

You shifted to face him and your fists collided with the material of his shirt, clutching it in your grasp while you looked to your feet to collect your thoughts. Jay watched with no thoughts, bewildered at your shaken state. Just in time, your throat began to cave in.

You showed him your back, heaving up and down, the petals trailing up your throat and hitting your palm. You smacked your chest uncomfortably to stop the tractions to not let him suspect anything was out of order.

"you okay?" he queried, feeling the thumps of his feet getting closer to you, panicking as you collected blood and petals into your hand, the fear of him peeking it at your new high. He reached to your position and you scurried off in a haste towards the washroom. Passing by your jar of petals, you dropped them into the pot in a hurry as jay caught up to you.

Drowning the crimson in the sink you ran water on your hands, cutting the water supply and placing your wetted hands on the cold counter, panting. The heavy footsteps echoed and then soon were planted behind you. You gazed at his fallen front in the mirror. Why? Why did he look disheartened? Did he feel something for you after all?

He panned you around, caging you to the marbled counter, sealing in his arms with your chest by his, solely daring to search for any love in his eyes. Yanking the sleeve of your sweatshirt laid a spot of crimson from the viscous liquid. You mentally winced and set your sights away from him.

His finger glided to your chin and brought you towards his front, his palm resting on your cheek, "you're not okay, are you darling," he conveyed as your heart grumbled at the endeared name, a stray tear threatening to stain your cheek. "i've been unwell,"

The silence dawned on the two of you as he buried his hand in your hair, tugging down on it to tilt your head up, and his finger parting your nimble lips, the salty taste lingering in his mouth as he pressed down, and gave you a kiss. Under any circumstance than this, you'd relish the feeling but you felt sick with your throat itching.

Nonetheless, you played into his act of affection, gripping him further as his neck dipped to reach further in your cavern. Taking in what'd be the last time you'd ever meet his lips with such fever you attempted to feel the texture of his moist lips diving in and out. the pop sound loud and clear as you pulled him off of you. He settled his hand by your ear, his thumb giving you a false sense of security as he rested his forehead against yours.

"shall we get married?"

The falter in his facials was apparent and you felt your heart fall to your stomach. "marriage? what are you talking about, we're only 21," he missed, trying to play it cool.

"you know I love you right?" you did love him, you weren't lying but he didn't and you wouldn't let go of him till he said those harsh words himself.

His lack of reply set you off and you changed your blank face to that of despair, " you don't love me?"

"i…"

You shoved him away, crinkling your eyes in downward crescents as tears peaked from your eyes, playing at his heart strings. You felt the similar aggression of anger pile in him as he rushed his breathing, brows furrowing deep and the same mouth you kissed parted to utter icy words..

"do you know how it feels to date the one you've known and cared for since you were child?! not once have I ever hurt you nor done anything to hurt and i never will but I can’t sleep at night looking at your unaware face that i settled to for work. It’d break my heart to break your’s but i can’t let up with this without feeling guilty for leading you on when i cannot bring myself to feel those sentiments of love— i just don’t love you like before! "

Though you knew it was coming, the actuality hurt so much more. The lines of him declining your love for him played repeatedly. Jay left the room and the house, slamming the front door to possibly never return again. You sobbed even harder than before, falling to the floor urging the feeling to succumb to die as you coughed up amounts of blood and petals onto the floor in shambles.

iv. wither

April came as fast as March left with Jay slamming the door, never to return under any circumstance. You strongly believed he began living at his office unless one friend allowed him to stay over for an extended period of time. You, however, hadn't had any luck with getting better, accepting you would die soon.

Mustering any strength you conjured to get out of bed, meeting the carpeted floor where you'd spend hours staring at the ceiling with teary eyes. You were going to go down like this, despite your dreams and aspirations, this was how'd you succumb to death.

The sole motivation to sit by your canvas, that slowly came to picture, was the haunted expression in his front you could imagine ever so vividly. You meagre around the house to get your jar of thrown up petals, stained scarlet, quite a nice piece of decor to the vicinity though it'd be too bad that you'd be gone to not see it as one.

Frailly reaching for one petal, then another, you stuck them in carefully, the internal shaking refusing to seize as your breath turned shallow, leaving you gasping for air, overexerting yourself in finishing the piece.

On the once pearly white canvas sat a portrait of jay through the lens of your antique camera where you stood a trail of your petals and blood mixed onto the canvas, increasing as they led to your situation behind the camera just like your dying self behind the canvas.

Finishing the painting, you felt the hot breath hit your tired out hands and brittle paint dipped fingers— the same fingers Jay would kiss to you sleep, ticking you into bed if you ran a fever— were also the ones that gripped to the head rest, giving to the growing tiredness that overcame you, turning to lie flat on your back.

The keys jingled in the near distance, jay slipping in through the door, watching as nothing had really moved around in the house. He contemplated on notifying you of his abrupt appearance, opting to slowly creep up the stairs. Unknown to you, you had started coughing again, the strength in your arms to cover your mouth non-existent.

Resulting in the blood coating you and the mattress in a painful fit of red as you sobbed heartbroken to yourself wondering where it went wrong, did he require more space, had you been more mindful would he still be at your side.

Jay stilled on hearing your heart wrenching sobs, the previous hesitance gone as he ran up the stairs and to your situation on the bed stained bed. Having forgotten about your coughing fit of blood through the apparent stress from the separation.

His sight fell to the canvas in front of him greeting as you cough seized, your eyelids lugging over your glassed over orbs, jay getting to knees as he saw you covered in blood, his hand finding your paint ridden hand. You gave a weak chuckle, "if we ever meet again, I hope it works out then," you say, the diamonds leaving the comfort of your eyes and onto your crimson imposed self.

Jay heaved from panic, "why didn't you tell me?!" He hurried exclaimed, his hand running down your arm to keep your burning vessel even warmer. Unbeknownst to him he'd been crying and you watched with low eyes close to shutting, your palm lifting up to his tear stricken cheek, "just know," you paused, shutting your eyes completely feeling the life get sucked out of your body.

"i loved you."

alternate ending. (1.6k)

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dorkfruit · 4 months

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i put this together using my computer's trackpad so the new year is already starting out . bad .

posts: J | F | M | A | M | J | J | A | S | O | N | D

template

reflections on the year, my plans for the future, some studies i did, and wips for the next year all down below for those who are interested

tldr; we will be ianthing next year so watch out!!

oh dear lord it's been another year. 2024! can you believe it! i don't talk much on this blog because i have a tendency to talk too much, but it's my little new year's treat, so here we go.

RECAP

i started taking drawing "seriously" in December of 2020, starting to do studies and stuff, and each year since i've ramped it up more and more. this year, i did. a lot of studies. there's probably like at least 200 more in my folder now (not including the 300 days worth of gesture drawings i did), with things like painting, faces, feet, poses, etc. anything i was struggling with, i went right into studying it. my art has been mediocre for a pretty long time now, and it's only the past few months where i feel i'm starting to get the hang of it, which is exciting!

more importantly, i started posting a lot more on this blog. i really like documenting my progress, looking on where i was before and seeing how i've improved. everytime i draw some fanart, im like, oooghh i can't wait to show my (: followers (: !! lots of locked tomb art of course. i've been trying to nail the energy of the different characters, which is why i enjoy books so much, because you get a lot of creative control. drawing ianthe is my fav of course, cause she's my lil nasty, but also i enjoyed doing designs for characters i hadnt thought about before, like judith.

in addition to the locked tomb, we had some new fandoms that got brief moments in between iantheposting: Fear and Hunger, Postal, Faith The Unholy Trinity, and a couple of old ones too, like We Have Always Lived In The Castle and The Merciless.

i posted about 115 times this year, although most of those are shitposts LOL i love posting stuff on my blog and showing people my stuff <3

THE FUTURE

my plans? do more ianthe art, of course. ill be working on more studies, probably going to work on developing a style, and figuring out how to paint. i'd like to do more actually finished pieces, but let's be honest, it'll still be mostly shitpost doodles. i'd like to do more weird stuff. i've been messing around with some gore and NSFW near the end of the year, and it's fun to draw for me. i like idk art that evokes some type of emotion, especially discomfort, and so i find that type of art fun to do, so if you don't enjoy what i've done thus far in that direction, perhaps this isn't the blog for you. i really like horror media, and so i want to do some stuff like that too.

for specifics, i like western type art, a comic book-esque style i'd like to aim for. but i'd like it to be a little more. weird with it. i find comic books often draw all the characters the same, and make all the characters traditionally attractive, and that's boring to me so i'll have to work on finding a way to keep things weird, while also appealing in a graphic sense. the worst thing my art could be is bland and forgettable.

locked tomb wise... more tridentarii art. need to be really weird with it. i have lots of wips planned, like i have a whole page worth of just thumbnails, so i wanna get some of those done. also i had a few animatics i wanted to do. mostly stupid shit, once i learn how to do animatics, then we'll do actual serious ones. id also like to do more comics. i have some comics storyboarded out with my girlies, i like telling a story so, need practice on that. id also like to develop a way to consistently draw them, for convenience sakes, so i'm not fighting for my life every single time i draw these characters. oh and i wanna do some outfit stuff. i draw them in like. generic clothes everytime but i'd like to come up with a few actual outfit designs, that i can just reference back to. and, of course, more shitposts. lots of stupid shit in 2024 for sure. there was something else i wanted to say here but i can't remember.

ART

oki enough rambling, here's some IMAGES for yall to look at i know everyone loves to look at images.

began this year by warming up with gesture sketches (almost) every day. i started with 20 poses (30 seconds each), and then in november i was like. ugh my hands suck i need to get better at hands, so i switched to doing 10 hand sketches (60 seconds each). i want my art to be very energetic so it's important that i do these !!

anatomy studies of extremities because i'm flopping at those -_- ive gotten better with hands but they're still a struggle. i hate feet tho still

need to get my painting game up. i joined an art forum to get advice, and the biggest suggestion i got was working on my values, so i did various value studies. also lots of faces because my faces flop !!

random doodles to work on drawing from imagination. on my "sketchbook" pages, as i like to call them, i'm usually pretty loose and messy, since the point is just to be drawing so often these will suck, but that's fine. i don't think very much when i draw faces on here either so they end up being in my Instinctive Style i suppose you could say

ianthe wip. i was planning to do a few drawings based on the idea of her having Missing Arm nightmares, but the lineart was intimidating to me so i haven't worked on this one more yet /: also there was going to be a toontown gay homosexual toxic yuri comic that i was gonna put here with it but the page is way too long so umm guess that'll have to wait.

...

anyways. thank you for reading if you got to the bottom of this! i appreciate all the support that i've been getting lately (extra big kissies for the same like 5 people who always reblog my posts youre the best). and we will be ianthing soo hard in 2024 so watch out!!

#and god bless. there is not a single background in any of these images. sketch on a white bg foreverz!!#my art #art meme #ianthe tridentarius #really got to tag her here bc . all this art is of her LOL

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airenyah · 9 days

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Get to Know Me Tag :)

was tagged by @telomeke, @ranchthoughts, and @callipigio <3

do you make your bed?

not usually. both in my room at my parent's flat and now in my own flat as well i don't have a couch to hang out on and so i tend to spend a lot of time in my bed during the day bc it's more comfortable there. why make my bed in the morning if i mess it up soon enough anyway? i'll only make my bed when i'm trying to feel/look neat (like for example when people who i don't really know come over)

what's your favourite number?

23! elementary school me was veeery creative in choosing this number.... (my birthday is on a 23rd) anyway this number stuck with me and now it's just part of my personality hahaha

what is your job?

i'm a uni student and i don't have a "fixed" job where i'm employed and get money every month, but i have been working at a specific theater every summer since 2022. this year i'm actually the official assistant director. the rehearsals haven't properly started yet, but i've already one or the other task for it. can't wait for june when we're finally starting with the rehearsals!!!!!!!

if you could go back to school, would you?

depends... compulsory schooling that they make you go through from age 6 to age 15?? HELL NO. adult education? catch me taking 434353 courses on 434353 things

can you parallel park?

i don't have a driver's license

a job you had that would surprise people?

i haven't had many jobs in my life and none of them seem very surprising tbh? if you know me, at least i've worked as a graphic designer before, but i don't see how that would be surprising. also, i'm sure that i've mentioned this a few times in my tag ramblings

do you think aliens are real?

i don't think aliens are real but i also don't think aliens are not real. basically, i don't think aliens exist in the way they are depicted in movies, but if nasa came up to me and told me they found some sort of life somewhere else in the universe i'd be like "yeah i'll believe that". the universe is so vast, so it wouldn't surprise me if there really is something out there, but i don't really think about it tbh

can you drive a manual car?

as i said, i don't have a driver's license. but if i did, the answer would be yes. bc as a european you WILL be taught to drive a manual car at driving school. you could also choose to learn how to drive an automatic car, but that's really the exception to the rool. besides, idk what it's like in other countries, but in austria you're allowed to drive manual cars only if you got your license with a manual car. so getting your license with an automatic car limits your options quite a lot

what's your guilty pleasure?

i don't really feel guilty about my pleasures?? i don't always tell people that i'm really into thai bl, but that's less about feeling guilty and more of a "know your target audience" kind of thing.

tattoos?

nope. my brother has a couple of tattoos and he'd love it if i got one (i think he'd like to have a matching tattoo with me), but i can't do needles. but if i ever did get a tattoo, it would probably be something related to sicily. my brother actually has a tattoo of the trinacria

favorite color?

a really shiny dark blue and a really shiny darker red!

favorite type of music?

uhhhh.... good question?? i grew up listening to classical music and i still really like it, but i don't really listen to it anymore. these days i listen to pop music quite a lot? but that's also a very hit and miss for me, bc i tend to get overwhelmed easily with pop music. idk, just show me a song of any genre of music and i'll tell you if i like this particular song or if i dislike it my playlists tend to be full of song i have some kind of emotional connection too, though! so for example, songs that have been in series/movies that i watched or songs that my loved one's have/had in their playlists and that remind me of them, etc...

do you like puzzles?

i don't dislike puzzles, but it's not something that i would think to spend my time with

any phobias?

spiders!! i've had a phobia of spiders all my life. it's gotten a little better now, and how freaked out i am really depends on the size of the spider, where it is, if it's moving, and also how i'm feeling that day. the worst thing that could happen is a spider touching me in any way, so as long as i have enough distance between me and the spider and the spider is stationary, i'm good. i really dislike spiders right above my head, though i also have a phobia of needles. when i was 12 i had to get my blood drawn when i was sick once and i had a panic attack (or something along those lines). i've tried to avoid needles as best as i could ever since... and as a child i also had a fear of vomit. people vomiting still makes me uncomfortable, but at least i no longer run away and hide behind the door of my room hahaha

favorite childhood sport?

i've never been really athletic but i liked swimming!

do you talk to yourself?

in my own flat when i'm all by myself? yeah!

what movies do you adore?

der schuh des manitu is my problematic fave <3 apart from that, i also adore stardust and tangled and the emperor's new groove and i'm also up for marathoning high school musical, how to train your dragon, pirates of the carribean (1-3), and lord of the rings (extended edition of course) at any given point in time

coffee or tea?

tea!!!!! i LOVE tea!!!!! i had a cup of tea only an hour ago!!!! i'm not big on coffee, apart from a cappucino every once in a while which i also only drink when i'm in italy bc i just don't like it enough to spend 3-4€ on it in austria. coffee flavored things are mostly fine, but coffee as a beverage? not a big fan

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

i don't remember the first thing i wanted to be that wasn't a suggestion by my parents. possibly an actress????

tagging @newyearknwwme @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @celestial-sapphicss @cornflowershade @dimplesandfierceeyes @wack-overflow

as always, feel free to ignore!

#this was fun!!#tag game

29 notes · View notes

kaisarionn · 5 months

Note

💐 i love your energy it’s so good and it’s just what this dying app needs! Can I plz plz plz request the ghouletts (kinda platonic idk just friendly way) with a ghoulette reader (if you don’t do that normal fem reader is fine) and they are having “problems” with their period ever since they were summoned onto earth. And they NEED to see a doctor but they are scared and uncomfortable bc yk, period talk with doctor is EH. But they comfort them and all that shit. Sorry I just think there is no reason to hide problems with periods if you have them, pray for me

A/n: I agree with this! I’ve had some issues with period problems to the point that I needed a doctor and medicine, it’s the worst. Luckily I’m doing better and I hope you are too! Thank you for the request!

Word count: 783. Angst with comfort. Fem!ghoulette reader. (Tw for mention of periods, though nothing graphic) (I couldn’t find an image with more than two ghoulettes)

Cuddle puddle 🩵

You had been dealing with it by yourself for a while, being far too embarrassed to bring it up to anyone, especially since you were new, but you couldn’t hide it for long due to how badly it affected you.

For one week a month you were practically inconsolable and would hardly leave your room and the ghoulettes immediately noticed this.

They tried to talk to you, but you always go nervous and avoided the topic altogether, until today. Your period was hitting you particularly hard and the ghoulettes were determined to take care of you, which leads to now.

There was a soft knock at the door, but you were in too much pain to get up, luckily the door was unlocked since you rushed to your bed after trying to get some food. Sunshine opens the door and all four ghoulettes come in with various looks of concern upon seeing you curled up on your bed, you looked way worse than they had imagined. “W-what are you all doing here?” You look at them a little embarrassed, not wanting anyone around while you felt so horrible.

It was already hard trying to keep it together long enough to get food without crying, but now you had four ghoulettes in your room while you looked and felt like a mess. “Honey..” Cirrus says softly, shutting the door behind them and coming to sit down in the bed next to you. “Why are you all curled up?” Sunshine sits on the floor next to you, cumulus sits in a nearby chair with Aurora in her lap since there wasn’t much furniture to sit on.

“I feel sick..” You mumble, trying not to tear up from how bad you feel, which was getting harder and harder. “Well we brought you some stuff!” Sunshine nearly yells, but tamps down her enthusiasm when she remembers how bad you feel. “Yeah, we got you food, medicine, a personal heating pad.” Aurora giggles softly, pointing to Sunshine who the ghoulettes often curled up with when they were cold.

“We can leave if you want, we just want to make sure you’re okay first.” Cumulus adds on, holding up an actual heating pad incase you do want them to leave. You start to sniffle softly, a combination of happy tears from feeling so cared for, and overwhelmed tears since your cramps were killing you. “T-thank you..” The ghoulettes take this as their cue to curl around you to comfort and take care of you. Sunshine pulls you into her arms and placing her hand on your pelvis, warming them up to ease your pain.

The others get comfortable around you however they can, wanting to practically cocoon you with their bodies. “Now what’s wrong?” Cirrus knows it’s your period, they all do as they’ve had similar experiences, but she’s trying to get to the bottom of the issue.

“E-ever since I was summoned here my period has been all messed up and nothing helps like it used to!” You bury your face into a pillow, trying to hide your tears. Cumulus gently rubs your back, trying to soothe you as best they can. “Aw sugar.. why haven’t you gone to the doctor? I’m sure they can help.”

You lightly shake your head at the mention of doctors, and they can tell you seem a bit nervous about it. “I don’t like them.. a-and this stuff is so embarrassing..” Aurora scoots around a little bit, trying to get a bit closer to you. “I know doctors are scary, but we can go with you! Cirrus takes me to my appointments, she makes them less scary.”

Cirrus smiles and gently brushes your hair out of your face. “I would be happy to take you, we all would. Doctors don’t have to be scary dear.. and this shouldn’t be embarrassing. We all have to deal with this.” Cumulus grabs out the jar of cookie dough she brought you, offering it out, which you promptly took with a smile. “We’ll always help you out sugar.”

Sunshine opens the jar for you with a soft smile, before going back to kneading at your stomach. “Yeah! Always.” You giggle softly and take a bite of cookie dough with a smile. “You girls are the best.”

#the band ghost #ghost the band #ghost bc #x reader #x y/n #x ghoulette #x aurora ghoulette #x sunshine ghoulette #x cirrus ghoulette #x ghoulette reader #hurt/comfort #light angst #happy ending #period cramps #tw periods

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fatalitysficbakery · 8 months

Note

hey bae, idrk how to request stuff its been a long time since i have !

but i was wondering if i could request an elle greenaway x reader where they supposedly ‘hate’ each other at work but theyre actually dating and they act like that to avoid suspicion and elle gets caught in a like shooter thing and then she gets back safely (based on that b99 episode w rosa)

or if thats too detailed idk,, just the last bit, ‘elle gets caught in a like shooter thing and then she gets back safely (based on that b99 episode w rosa’

idk if this makes sense i wqs daydreaming abt it in the car earlier and i am so sleep deprived rn idek if im making words right

so sorry for how long this is i love the elle fic u posted 07.10 !! im sleel now im fallimg aslepp

𓆰♡︎𓆪 What Goes On In The Dark. —

Elle Greenaway x Black Fem!Y/n

genre: angst/fluff.

warnings: hostage situation, mentions of violence, blood, and shot wounds. JJ is a profiler here. Liaison!Y/n, grief, mentions of suicide, gun violence, nothing too graphic.

synopsis: i’ll love you till the very end, amor.

a/n: i hope you enjoy my take on this request, lovely!

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery navigation menu 𓆪

↳ 𓆰 Fatalitysficbakery criminal minds menu 𓆪.

↳ ❝Don’t let last words be ones to regret.❞⁣ -Unknown

⌫

Quantico, The Behavioral Analysis Unit was always my goal from the very start, I'd walked into the double doors of the place on my first day bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, all the whilst every horror imaginable lay beneath.

There was a lot to dislike about the place, the bureaucracy the most damning flaw of all, It was a tangled mess that the agents had to deal with, to remember why you're there was to do your job well.

Elle Greenaway and I were alike in that way, we wanted to help the world be a safer place, I remember our first meeting, she'd welcomed me to hell. Her piercing brown eyes stared me down, scanning me as if she could see right through to my soul.

The blush that kissed my skin that day was embarrassing and exciting all at once. She'd find ways to talk to me, excuses to come to my office. The new liaison. I'd let the team know my doors were open at any point in time, and God did she ever abuse it. Suddenly pencils regularly disappeared from her desk. Could she use one of mine? Did I have a stapler? Hers was empty.

It was...flattering.

I couldn't lie, the agent had piqued my interest from the start. A smooth talker with a quick tongue. Clever. Amazing at her job. Just my type, you could consider me charmed from day one. She had me in the palm of her hand.

From there it was inevitable, I was hers.

Again, the ladder of the BAU was a tough one to work around, the night we finally hooked up, it was under the guise of me not having a ride home from work. My car was in the shop...The same one that was parked just in the garage parking lot, furthest space away from the other's eyes.

That night, staring into puddles of hazel brown, brunette locks tickling my skin; I knew I'd developed an addiction, and god was it a euphoric one.

↳

When we made it official, Elle gave me a locket, heart pendant with a picture of us in it. We'd agreed to keep it on the down low until we knew how to break it to Strauss and the rest.

That's when Operation: Become The Enemy started. Pretend to be absolutely revolted by one another at work, disappear into our own little world when alone.

It was a riot trying to pretend I hated the woman, hell, she drove me insane in all the best ways. She was my drug.

God, was she ever.

Being snapped back to reality tends to ruin all fantasies.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

The BAU was my dream. My goal from the start. I wanted to be here, I wanted to be here.

My chest felt tight, my every limb aching the moment Hotch cleared it. Allowed her to go inside. Why did it have to her? Why did she have to be the hero?

It's our job, I know. I repeated that to myself so many fucking times whilst watching her put on that damned bulletproof vest which did nothing to silence my worries. — Every other part of her became fair game.

My chest hurt, my breathing sped up. Everything blurred. Before long I was being escorted to my seat by a worried JJ, I couldn't even tell her the reason I was so upset. I felt myself drowning, sorrow encapsulated my entire being, paralyzing me with a fear I'd never felt in forever.

The fear of loss. Grief.

I couldn't believe it, the world was taking from me what happiness I had gotten back, and to make it all worse...

She'd probably thought I hated her.

POP. POP. POP.

"Was that a gunshot?! We're going in. NOW"!

It was at that moment, my sorrow melded into anger and determination. Hotch and Rossi, I could see a moment of doubt on their faces, but there was none in mine. I nodded at them, jaw set.

I could see relief wash over Aaron, I could hear Jennifer exhale.

I got geared up, muttering a quiet.

"We're going to get Elle".

⌫

12 hours ago.

I could feel her icy glare on me, but I couldn't look her way. I wouldn't. I was too prideful. Too stubborn. Too...hurt.

It all seems so stupid now in hindsight but then, then it felt so serious. End of the world serious.

She was still worried of exposing our relationship and what that would mean, fearful. I could see it in her eyes that she didn't wanna risk the chance of losing what we had, but I was tired. Too tired to look at it from a different perspective, to be rational. I wanted the world to know.

It'd been an almost full year of Elle and Y/n. Didn't that mean something to her?

Now that I think about it; It probably meant everything to her, and that's where her hesitance stemmed from. Maybe if I hadn't been so boneheaded...

↳

Elle walked into your office that day, two cups of coffee in hand and a to-go bag under her chin. It was early before most of the team had even arrived. She wanted to get there before it was time for another award-winning performance of pretending to hate the woman she loved the most.

The smile that greeted you was one of pure happiness, and it had only been met with a grimace of discomfort, and a problem waiting to be made. I mean, how dare she? Bring you coffee and scones while you prepped to present another harrowing case to the team with Garcia? How absolutely dare she?

When she saw the grimace on your face after sitting the coffee and scones down, her smile faded almost immediately. Knowing instantly what this would be about, the same conversation had been going on for a week and a half now that your one-year anniversary was quickly approaching.

"It's a little early, no? You usually don't come in so soon".

That was a lie, you both knew it but Elle also knew that was only the gateway to your next question. She sits before you, pulling up a chair.

"Y/n, pleas—"

"I don't wanna do it anymore, Elle. Can't we tell Strauss and them? Our anniversary is two weeks away, we've been going behind their backs for too long...I want them to know".

Elle sighs, you'd asked this so many times and the answer stayed the same. Her lips part to speak but it's stuck in her throat, it's dying there and in her silence you find disappointments. Your mouth fixes into a slight scowl.

"Well"?

Elle finally speaks, "You know why we can’t".

Her answer again left you dissatisfied, but this time instead of fighting it, you allow words you regret to slip through the cloud of emotions you were feeling. Before you know it, it's too late to take them back, Elle's face had already fallen, and your ego was too big to take it all back.

"Fine. Well, maybe we shouldn't even be doing this. I'm tired of being just two coworkers hooking up".

The words hang in the air, toxic and venomous. The fumes left a nasty stench. Elle notices you pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you often do when uncomfortable or nervous. Yet you speak not a word.

She stands, clearing her throat.

"Just two coworkers hooking up? That's what you think of our relationship? Wow".

And that, that was all she said. There was so much and nothing left to say, neither of you quite processed what had happened before she left your office on that sullen note.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

The case had gone from a simple familial kidnapping to not only the dad holding his daughter hostage but an entire library. My Elle had gone inside that place, her bravery had always inspired me, but today I couldn't help but have a strong disdain for it. The way she was immediately ready to go. It was her nature. It was MY nature. The entirety of the BAU would've done the same, and all I could think was why it had to be here.

When we got in, it was already too late. James had shot Elle in the thigh, and his daughter in the arm, before he'd turned the gun on himself.

I'd rushed to her side, the first one there whilst the rest tended to the others. She was already grey, lips pale and blue and eyes barely opened.

From that moment, leaving her side wasn't an option, the only time I did so was when she was rolled away for surgery. The hours spent with her gone was just me sobbing uncontrollably in Penelope's arms.

I was no longer able to pretend, and I was hoping, praying to whatever God I could that she'd make it out of that surgery alive to be mad at me about that.

I could hear her voice telling me to pull myself together, I was being too obvious. I could see her soft smile vividly in my mind winking at me right after that.

It was touch and go, touch and go.

Finally, the doctor came to talk to us.

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

I put the finishing touches on it, my heartbeat so loud I could hear it pumping. God, I was so nervous. I'd never done something like this before, I never thought I could be doing something like this before.

I'd rejected the idea of commitment, shunned it. The thought of long-term relationships terrified me. Maybe, maybe that was why it was so difficult to convince me.

I'd convinced myself it was because I wasn't ready for the big boy's club to have the spotlight on my relationship, it was bad enough their eyes were watching my every move at work, but my personal life?

And yeah, that was the reason for about 6 months, but I knew in my soul of souls that I wanted her. Solely her. I didn't care about bureaucracy that much, hell, I was the reason there were eyes on me after the shooting they'd watched me like a hawk.

But no, that wasn't the reason. It was my safety net. My excuse to mull over my own grievances with love and relationships. I could see the sadness wash over her face every time I'd say 'not now', and it broke me each time.

I just...wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to admit to myself that I was worthy and deserving of love. That a relationship could be healthy/

I was constantly watching my back, waiting for it all to fall so I could prove myself right. When it didn't...When I almost lost her to my own foolishness, it was the biggest wake-up call of my life. — Waking up in that hospital bed, I remember it vividly. Looking to my right to see a sea of ginger curls strewn about my bed, her soft snores filled my ears. She sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair with her head lying on my bed, and it was clear she hadn't gotten any sleep in days.

Later, I was told I'd been in a coma for three weeks.

In those three weeks, she'd never left my side until she had to shower, eat, or change. Morgan told me he'd arrive only to see her doing work beside me and Hotch was more than gracious enough to allow her to be with me.

⌫

Her eyes opened, pained by the awful fluorescent lighting overhead, and as her eyes adjusted to the harsh lighting, she heard a familiar sound, those soft snores like music to her ears when she looked to her right and her suspicions were correct. You rest your head on your arms laid on the edge of her bed just next to her arm without the IV in it. You looked so peaceful, but she noticed how pale your usually cocoa skin looked.

She can't help but wonder how long you'd been there.

When she turns her head away from you, still scanning her surroundings, a soft British accent sounds out beside her rasp and sleep coating your vocals.

"Elle". You spoke so breathlessly as if you'd received the biggest surprise of your life. She took note of the way your eyes immediately welled up, apologies stumbling from your lips, "Baby, I'm so sorry I didn't mean—”

She'd shushed you, scooting over and patting a spot next to her. When you join her on the hospital bed that barely fits one let alone two, she kisses the top of your head, hand scratching and massaging through your soft ginger afro, she sighs and shakes her head, looking down at you.

"I know you didn't. Just sleep with me for right now, yeah"?

A tear slips from your eyes, you nuzzle gently into her side further, careful to not worsen any of her injuries.

"Yeah".

↳

I'd probably asked her to repeat what had almost happened to me a thousand times, something about hearing it was healing almost.

Though, she could make anything sound interesting with her voice like honeycomb. It was the one of the first things about her that’d caught my attention.

She knew how to make it real for me.

⌫

Elle lay in your arms, her head resting in your lap with your nails massaging her scalp. This wasn't the first time she'd asked you to retell the story, it was the fourth in a single week. You were happy to oblige, even if it hurt you to talk about seeing her almost die, You knew she needed this, and if it helped her in any way, you were glad to.

"The bullet hit a major artery. The doctor had come out to tell us of your death, I think my knees nearly buckled when I heard her starting to apologize".

She'd looked up at you, eyes and ears focusing solely on you like she hadn't heard the story a previous three times, she'd kissed the back of your hand gently when you had to stop for a moment to recollect yourself talking about how you'd thought you'd lost the love of your life.

Finally, you spoke again, eyes glossy.

"When she was about to call it, tell us her condolences, another of the surgical team ran out to tell her that there was a pulse, you could be saved. As soon as I heard the news, I did drop to my knees. I did. I thanked the stars that I'd get another chance to make it right, to tell you how much I loved you and regretted my words".

"You're doing so good, Beautiful", she'd whispered to you appreciatively, knowing how hard this was for you, It only made her love you that much more seeing the lengths you would go to to help her heal.

"It was touch and go for a few hours after that, you once again died on the table, three times. Finally, the doctor was about to give up until you got a steady pulse. They told us you fought like hell to get back to the team. But I couldn't help but think maybe..."

"It was. It was you, I don't remember much. I was talking to my father on the jet. Telling him all about the team, all about you. How I couldn't leave you just yet...Not on such a standstill".

Your breath caught in your throat at her words, you'd had your fair share of near-death experiences when working in SVU but you weren't sure you'd felt anything but coldness, a darkness. Elle had something to live for. She'd chosen to live for you.

"Y/n".

Your eyes shot to hers, she'd never really addressed you by your first name, only pet names she'd gifted you. So, when she'd said it, she'd gotten your full attention.

"Yea"?

"You were right...You were right, look, for a while" She sat up, moving to face you before continuing, "For a while it was about work, me wanting to continue lying. But, you were right. It wasn't just that".

Elle grabbed your hands in hers, her hazel eyes a vision of fall as she stared into yours, you knew the woman better than anyone, you could see this was hard for her; being vulnerable.

"I never thought of love as something that could be achieved in our field, not long term at least, and after about three failed relationships in, I stopped pursuing. I became terrified of commitment, and when you came along..."

"You got scared of the things you felt". You finished for her, sighing softly and pressing your forehead against hers, "Me too".

She nodded, "When I left your office thinking we were over, I realized my own cowardice. I knew I couldn't just lose you like that. I was gonna speak up and apologize. Talk it out. Anything. Until"

"Everything..." You whisper and cup her cheek in your hand, searching her eyes for that love, and when you see it. That same glint from first meeting, the side of your lips quirked up into a delicate smile, "I love you, Agent Greenaway".

"And I love you far more, Agent Y/ln".

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

I glance at the door anxiously, eyes shifting from that to the clock ticking slowly on the wall, and back. Putting this in the hands of someone other than my own was nerve-wracking, especially dealing with something this important.

Eventually, the door opens, and I'm almost allowed to breathe, but not yet. Not just yet. You're almost there Elle.

Entrusting this with Penelope Garcia of all people was the scariest part of all this, but she came through without spilling all, I admit. She smiles at me, giving a thumbs up. And I appreciate it, I do, but it's not any more comforting. Right now nothing could comfort me.

And then, I look to her.

(check image descs)

A vision of perfection stood before me, and as Garcia finally removed her blindfold, I could feel my face get hot, my heart pumping faster. She was stunning. We stare at each other in awe, I can feel my father whispering in my ear that I was making a good decision.

For so long I'd rejected the idea, and now it was something I was more sure of than anything else in my life.

"Come here, Mi Amor" I hear myself whisper, my voice caught in my throat as I prepared myself for the task ahead. She walks over to me with her hand still cupping her mouth in shock as she grasps what the box in my hand means.

When she's close enough, I get on one knee. The tears welling in my eyes a perfect match for the ones in her.

"You two argue like an old married couple". "They're still at it? Ugh, get a room".

(check image descs)

My voice shakes, I'd never proposed to anyone, let alone after only a year of dating.

"Y/n Y/ln, happy one-year anniversary. Where do I even start this? I know this is probably soon, but...If there's anything in this world I've ever been sure of, It'd be you. My hesitance with commitment almost lost me the most wonderful woman ever crafted. I'm tired of running. I'm tired of hiding...I want you. Forever. Will you do me the honor and marry m-"

Before I could get another word in, I felt her launch herself into my arms, her hold on me confirmed everything I already knew.

I couldn't let anyone else have her. She was too valuable to me. To this world.

"YES! Yes, I'd be so honoured to be your Mrs. Elle Greenaway"!

𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪𓆰♥︎𓆪𓆰♡︎𓆪

A/N: A bit of a trauma dump ahead, but I'm back after going through the death of my uncle only a week ago, having horrible PTSD and sickle cell kicking my ass. I hope this is to your liking, lovely! Sorry for the long wait ):

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multiplicity-positivity · 9 months

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Hi hi im starting to question if i have depersonalization disorder? My body feels present but my mind isnt? Idk how to explain my mind is always fuzzy and i have bad memory it also feels like im not myself but i get random snaps of reality? Idk im not sure its starting to mess w me and idk who to ask bc i dont have a therapist

I just i get some shed of light＾＾ thank u for reading!

Hi hello! :33

Well, we understand depersonalization as a symptom which can be an aspect of a bunch of different mental illnesses! We don’t really know about specifically depersonalization disorder… do you mean maybe DPDR (depersonalization/derealization) disorder?

Depersonalization can be a symptom in a lot of different illnesses. Um, we can’t diagnose you and we won’t ever claim to! But we can pass along some info and resources on DPDR disorder and depersonalization specifically so you can do your own research!!

(Gonna plug our own infographic on depersonalization vs. derealization!)

Um, as far as we understand, having a bad memory isn’t necessarily a sign of depersonalization in and of itself. There’s a bunch of reasons why someone might feel foggy, hazy, and fuzzy and have poor memory or lots of memory issues! >w<

We know you said you currently don’t have a therapist, but if your symptoms are starting to cause you distress, it may be time to look into finding one! Let us know if you need help, and if you tell us the country you live in, we can try to help you find links to therapy resources in your area!! Therapy is really really important for folks struggling with all sorts of mental illnesses. We’re not saying therapy works for everyone 100% of the time, but if you haven’t already brought your concerns up to a therapist, it may be a good idea to do so! :3

Good luck with everything! We personally know how scary it can be to grapple with symptoms of mental illness without support or answers as to what you’re going through >_<” but we hope you’re able to find the support you need very soon!

💚 Ralsei and 🌸 Margo

#depersonalization #depersonalization/derealization disorder #dpdr #dpdr disorder

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dumb-doll-lips · 9 months

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Shouldn’t anyone who wants to stick his dick in there be enough of a big boy to handle knowing that every so often some blood comes out of there? I mean sure it could be tmi, if you were like describing in graphic detail how, say, this one clot came out in an inopportune moment, and the mess you had to wipe off the bottom of a public toilet seat, or something. But just the general mention that it is currently happening? Like, if he wants to do anal and you say “not right now because I’m having some indigestion issues”, is that tmi? What does he think the hole he wants to get busy with is for?

That’s my 2c anyway

So like tbh w my question I was just wondering like what’s more standard for a girl to say. To be like hey I’m on my period, here’s what I’d be okay w blah blah blah. Or like I know most my hookups are not a fan of period of sex so like could just be like hey I need to reschedule and maybe be like saying you’re not feeling the best. Like I literally have no sense of how other girls handle it or what others might feel is tmi. And I’ll often feel like I’m not ‘smooth’ about like anything. So idk.

I like do tend to feel like it’s kinda personal telling guys I’m on my period. So it always feels like a little weird to say from that angle. Maybe that has more to do w how I’ve hooked up w some guys who are like fun to fuck but that’s like the extent of any kind of friendship. But then also I guess I just blog about periods now. So idk. But like it can take me a bit to be comfortable w someone so like having an idea of what feels standard can be nice. (Overall tho been lots of feedback from guys saying they’d like prefer they more straightforward being told, so that feels like an answer enough lol)

But like I def get your point. It annoys me when guys act grossed out or anything. Like I can get not being w fan of period sex tho, it’s not my favorite. No one has been like grossed out seeming but I know most aren’t a fan of it. Which I think is why I started feeling confused about what’s good to say. Idk.

#and like I haven’t replied to most the stuff in my messages if you’re someone who sent thiughts there but I saw them and thank you #ask #personal

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yurisubtext · 10 months

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i’ve been feeling in a funk recently, idk maybe starting birth control back up messing with my emotions, work being constantly minorly unstable, anxiety about planning my road trip and asking my dad for the money for my mom and is trip to japan (which had its own can of worms).

but this evening having my dad come home and see a news story about one of the scotus decisions and then starting to talk with me about how we’d talked before about it just started to put me over the edge. I don’t agree with the decision but my dads always got to be devils advocate or some shit and was probing me about it. it was just like fuck dude i don’t want to have this pseudo debate right now or think about rebuttals to your points because of some extreme hypothetical of a nazi asking for you as a graphic designer to do something and this case of the woman being like gay marriage isn’t in my religion isn’t the same!!!!

so i tell him i don’t want to talk about this right now and he asks why not and i start to get upset and walk away and then he gets on my case about getting upset and tells me to go away and it’s just like FUCK DUDE do you not understand after 25 years that stating my opinion in front of you and asserting myself with him is fucking frightening sometimes????

god this is probably one of the closest times i’ve come to just leaving the house out of anger if even just for an hour but again i’m too fucking afraid of the aftermath i’ll just continue to internalize this is worse and worse ways!!

love the thoughts i have wishing i was more suicidal so i could just off myself to spite him or at least have done it earlier so i didn’t have to live with this shit anymore

#camilletalks

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husbandomail · 2 years

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Honestly XY Megas is one of the all time Pokémon mechanics ever.I loved the fact megas was built of trust and love between the trainer and Pokémon.

I know a lot of people want them back(including me) but I don’t think they ever will unless we get a x and y remake which I would love.

I get you with the open world thing cuz I don’t people many if any open world game so sometimes my unfocused brain gets bored if I don’t have direct orders on what to do.

I don’t know if u played arcues but for me Im struggling to complete it idk why but I cuz cant lol so I hope I don’t for this game.

And yes the teams team skull and big bad guzma will all ways be favs becausw of the goofiness.HOWEVER how this was balanced out was with the Aeather paradise plot making it serious when need be and to show a more looming threats hiding underneath.

Team yell was so lazy I don’t even think they gave it more than a minutes thought.To me it was also like they wanted to replicate the vibe of team skull but failed miserably.So I hope they bring it back with this regional evil team and make them super evil again.

And with the badges thing I’m split to be honest. It does make sense for people to do it at different times seeing as they might live closer to that gym and it’s never stated to have an order(like you said with other trainers and brock)but to make it just makes the build up less important?Like I could go to the last first and takes away suspense.Idk to be fair you could do that in let’s go eevee I think?

(God my writing is everywhere lol)

I have a trainsona as well I just cant hack the children thing.it makes the game better imaginging I’m dealing with all this shit and it fun thinking of me and my Pokémon bonding lol.

I just hope the graphics are good and the world looks good instead of blocky.

Now I’m sorry for rambling lol.

I haven't finished Arceus yet either! I'm ruled by my hyperfixations, so when they switched I wasn't really able to keep playing, but now that I'm Back On Pokemon I'll probably get back to it lmao. a friend sent me a shiny Chimchar bc it was my first pokemon, so I'm really excited to have him lmao,, I've also seen plenty of spoilers by now and omg. Giratina is my favorite legendary, I Must See It Again

I get what you're saying about the gyms too! the final gym leaders always feel like strong obstacles bc you've already come so far, they're the last thing standing in your way,, I've felt that same way about the E4, since they've started letting us challenge them in any order? facing Lucian in Diamond definitely felt a lot more intense bc I HAD to fight my way through others to get to him, and I don't mind it in Unova bc it was the first time we could choose the order, but since then it's just been a lil bland imo. But maybe that's also just bc it's been constant too? I wouldn't mind alternating leagues, or being able to challenge them in any order on rematches.

speaking of evil teams and all that. I know very little will ever hit the personal level of "holy SHIT team rocket's boss is the LAST GYM LEADER," and "MY RIVAL IS THE SON OF TEAM ROCKET'S BOSS????" but. I'd love to have more of a personal relationship with the evil team? maybe a rival who gets sick of losing to you, so they join the villains? or a character like Colress, who's only with them for his own reasons and is still clearly interested in you too. again, I do adore N Harmonia, so I'm partial to his role in everything too lmao. a part of me is hoping that the professors end up involved, bc I think it would be super cool.

I do think SWSH had a lot of potential; Rose did have a point, but the story pacing was a total mess. like,, Galar's air is apparently so toxic that the poison-type Weezing gained a regional form to PURIFY the air, they could've done sooo much with the base ideas they have there.

most of this talking is just the Writer Brain I can't turn off though lmao, I love Pokemon more than basically anything and it's been a constant throughout my entire life; I'm beyond excited for these games and I can't WAIT

AND DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR RAMBLING, THAT'S MY LINE LMAO

#asks #not an imagine #anon

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cupid-styles · 2 months

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another smthn for after dark bcz I found out its not just sex talk but also like it was really fucked

(TW! kinda fucked up, u can 100% skip this ask or block me or anything if this made u uncomfortable and I'm so sorry if it does<3)

like it was a nightmare I had yesterday and there was like some messed up shit but I don't wanna get graphic but also like murder and my brain was really graphic

which like everyone's had nightmares before right

but this one, I haven't watched scary movies and shit ykwim or nothing like that, and it literally scared me so bad that I woke up around 7 am deadass ready to cry like it was THAT bad

so sorry for ranting love idk I thought I had something important to say but idk

omg no I would never block you for this!!!! honestly ive been there before and im sure a lot of people have too, where you have a crazy nightmare and it's like ....why would my brain conjure up something so awful??? I'm so sorry that happened to you tho :( it's always so scary to come back to the realization that you're safe and it wasn't real!!

#bestie asks

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daughterofdescartes · 5 months

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Restricted: by my ancestors, or by myself?

I really don't understand why I feel like I can't do anything I really want to do.

I often feel clouded by my own insecurites, and what other people will think, or how I compare to others. I get so paralyzed by my own doubts and insecurities that in the end, I never really got to do what I wanted. It's sad and I always feel jealous when I see people of color succeed artistically or creatively. Now I feel stuck with myself, because I never got to develop the creative talents that I wanted, but I'm also not super talented at whatever it is that I pursued (whatever major that in my eyes would be deemed as 'acceptable' to my parents). I've always made half-choices to half-appease my parents, but mostly because I was scared I would never achieve my dreams. That I would never be good enough. When will I be free and truly understand what I want to do in life?

At the beginning of my life, I really wanted to become an illustrator. I loved drawing, people told me I had a talent for it, so I kept doing it. I loved that I was good at it, and I loved the praise. My parents have always been so proud of my creative abilites, until they weren't. One day when I started to talk about my ambitions, all of a sudden, it was no longer good enough. They kept forcing disciplines onto me that I never wanted to master or never took any interest in to begin with. Accounting, computer sciences, skills that would give me "an easy life". Except for web design, maybe I'd like to learn that one day. They always want what's best for me. In the end I don't know anything about what's good for me. I feel so stuck.

Last year, I pursued a one year programme in graphic design and I had a lot of fun. But also a new insecurity started growing. I noticed I was never the best, even though I had hoped that would be the case. People around me had better insights, and seemed to be more talented and skilled with seemingly less effort. I thought shit. This is it. I'm never going to make it. My inferiority complex yet again making excuses, beating my self-esteem to a pulp. At first, I felt motivated to get a job in graphic design, until I realized most people are looking for experienced designers. At this point it feel like I'll never gain experience, because nobody wants to hire me. It's tough. So I kinda gave up.

I have other types of jobs I'm interested in. But the insecurity still gnaws at me. So I figure it must be my mindset that's keeping me stuck. If I never believe in myself, how will I ever prove to myself that I can do it? Prove to others that I'm capable? Idk how. I need to start building up my confidence. Show the world that I am good at what I do. That I have achievements. That I am creative, intelligent, good-humoured, a quick-thinker, and all those positive things. I am not just an insecure mess. I'm more than that. It's time for me start acknowleding what I can do, and stop emphasizing on my can'ts and don'ts and won'ts. What are my cans, do's, and will's?

What do I want? What can I do and offer to this world?

What I know for sure is that I want to help people in any way I can. If I can make one person smile, I'll feel satisfied. I want to help people feel that they matter, so that I can feel that I matter. I want to create things, thinkpieces that provoke thought and emotion. I want to create without feeling guilty about what I should or shouldn't do. I want to create simply because I can. I want to create without anything holding me back, not even my own doubts. So what if I'm not the best? So what if this isn't what my parents want? Why do I let all of this get to me? At the young age of 24? I should be doing whatever the heck I want, wtf.

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ao3feed-crimeboys · 9 months

Text

Drowning in your Wake

by glocktyvn

Someone seemed to be always talking about Wilbur, about what he did and the mess he left, no matter the situation. Those opinions clung onto Tommy like wet clothes. Making him feel as though he couldn’t have any other thoughts for his brother, for the fact that most people seemed to agree on one thing; that Wilbur was completely insane, dismissing everybody’s feelings in place of his own.

Including you, Tommy!

He couldn’t remember who said that or why they did, and frankly he didn’t want to.

They talked to him about Wilbur as if he should’ve hated him more than he's ever been allowed to hate anybody else. As if that hate was all Tommy had to remember him by. But then again, Tommy wasn't quite sure himself.

He knew Wilbur was utterly insane before he died, but…

What about before?

Tommy remembers memories with his brother before anybody knew him as the man he became. He questions himself as to if he really does hate the man. ------- I wrote this forever ago while in my dsmp phase when I realized that most of its characters need backstory to be fully fleshed out. Notes at the end as to why!!

Words: 1662, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Dream SMP

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Characters: TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot, Phil Watson | Philza, Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza, Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson | Philza, Sleepy Bois Inc. & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Tommyinnit & Wilbur Soot

Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Child Neglect, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Traumatized TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Panic Attacks, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, References to Depression, teehee, Canon Universe, Pre-Canon, Backstory, Exile Arc on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Overthinking, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Insomnia, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), tommy cries a lot, Reminiscing, Child TommyInnit, teenage wilbur soot, Hurt/Comfort, old 2020 phase so idk if any of this is actually accurate to the lore

#ao3feed #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #crimeboys #crime boys #crimebois #crime bois #mcyt #This is an automated process #If you see any fic that breaks boundaries #or the fic is yours and you don't want it shared send an ask #it will be looked at and removed if need be

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rebelwhodoesntknow · 10 months

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I think Sena's voice has really improved over the years but yeah she was really young and inexperienced in Stars, I like her singing but it was definitely a little rough

I always wondered why they didn't release dolls!!! It's not like they releaased figures (except ones that were way too delicate for their target audience + too expensive), they really missed the mark there. Literally I would pay so much to hold a tiny version of the sweet dreams star pr are you kidding me?? 😭💗

Ahhh I actually really like Raki... I understand people dislking her 100000% because she DID like. Personally design her own Jeweling rare which is supposed to be purely made from magic, not designed by anyone, she designed her own star wings which can only be gifted by the system, same with the wings for her zodiac coord like Ichigo gen. So it's not just that she took most of her inspo from existing coords, she just kind of broke all the rules somehow and nobody in-show was like THATS IMPOSSIBLE????

But Idk I like her! I love her design, her voice actor (also voiced Wakaba) is great, I honestly wish she got more songs. I think it just made sense for her to be there. Even if Parade was just meant to get excitement + money back up for Planet's release, there was some love put into it for people who grew up with the series, and everyone kind of takes care of Raki. She's an excited kid obsessed with the idea of Aikatsu in general and tbh I see myself when I was like 13 diving into all of it, she's like a representation for new and old fans that just love it and want to be a part of it. She wasn't supposed to be a super fleshed out character, just kind of a tour guide along the show

OR IM PROJEVTING TOO MUCH AFBKSNDDJF But fr I don't mind her! The first anniversary album actually has her cover one of Mizuki's songs because it was her voice actor's favorite, she was a huge fan of Aikatsu when she was little and she won a singing contest to voice Wakaba in Friends!!🥺💗 Even if it wasn't the biggest role, I'm really happy for her, I feel like even that says something about what Raki meant

I love that kids still write letters about shows, I also follow Super Sentai and every so often the staff mentions kids keep writing to them asking them to redeem the villains because they like the actors too much LOL

Hinaki & Yume's voice actors actually had a unit irl too for a little bit, Min☆na, they've disbanded now and the song's werent my vibe but good for them!!

DONT BUY THE AIKATSU GAMES ITS SO EXPENSIVE + THEYRE REGION LOCKED. You can play them on a PC on Citra though, and if you turn up the graphics quality it looks sol so much better than on a console- basically like you're playing the akari gen DCD!

If you're interested, I can send you the roms, it will take a couple days though I'll have to find my hard drive 💗

I have all of them! Only 2 are worth playing imo, most don't have many songs or coords but these are powerhouses

Aikatsu! My No. 1 Stage features every single Ichigo/Akari gen song up till the last like 15, stages and dances included, it's crazy. It had a good amount of coords for most brands, only a couple for dolly devil and mecha panic but there's a lot of fun mix and match stuff you can do! The dressup system is the same as the arcade game so you can swap PRs and everything.

The gameplay is really simple, short visual novel-style stories to unlock songs, play songs to unlock coord cards. The outfits you use do effect special appeals too!! I play it sometimes, but mostly I mess around with outfits in MV mode and just watch

The other game is Aikatsu Stars! My Special Appeal. This is the only stars game sadly, and it doesn't have a lot of songs, but there's a few cute new animations in the mvs (i.e. in tsu•ba•sa, you can't have just one character, so before the song starts your two backup dancers help you out of the throne, idk its just cute)

It does have 1,000 outfit pieces though...! A lot of the brandless coords were included this time. No berry parfait, but all the other brands before it are included (one PR per brand) and nobody from venus ark (😭) but it looks nice and again, it's fun to play with outfits!

The gameplay is the same as the other game. And in this one you get to make your own character with a few customization options for hair & eyes!

Honestly, I don't think playing to get all the coords is worth it, it really takes a long time and you're just repeating the same thing over and over to get it (and usually get duplicate pieces which don't do anything)

I have a save file for each game, with all songs & coords unlocked though! If you're interested in trying either of them I can send those too with the roms (And if you haven't used citra I don't mind explaining how to add the saves!)

THIS IS A WHOLE ASS ESSAY

ITS OKAY IM HAVING A GREAT TIME TALKING ABOUT THIS and I hope you are too fhfjf

Yeah I’ve seen the figures before and they’re always ridiculously expensive and I’m like ‘oh come on I’m broke and want to be an idol here’ plus they didn’t even have the coords which is like the best part??? Come on???

I think I like ( while knowing very little about Parade) seeing Raki more as a superfan/vehicle for idol display rather than a full fleshed character, although I really wish she didn’t just straight up break the aikatsu system. I saw her star wings outfit and was definitely confused by why the wings were on her in her whole performance. If anything, she should have gotten them when she made her true PR and actually debuted her brand. I do think her va’s origin is super cute though!

Unfortunately I have never used Citra before and am very new to emulators (I’ve used melonDS like three times maybe) so I would definitely need help with whatever rom stuff you’re mentioning lol, I am not good with that stuff at all. I’m not too bad at rhythm games, though, so I think it would be really fun to try the games out! Maybe that’ll be better than trying to teach myself Idol Activity from the stage videos on YouTube lol!

#aikatsu

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lunupine · 2 years

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hi if u found this without me linking u: how the fuck

a lot happened here. it gets really graphic at some points because im a demon who loves to describe how miserable my characters are feeling. i think i got cucked by the character limit like 3 or 4 times. anyway if you ever feel like its upsetting you, i'd suggest just not reading. i literally had to take a breather writing it at one point, so don't feel bad.

getting ring to talk about what happened here will be like pulling teeth, so it probably wont come up in gc much. still, i'll put an ooc word out if he's gonna talk abt it, if you all want. be sure to actually tell me if u do or i won't know.

and the worst part of this? joseph came twice. we had it in the fucking channel name that You May Cum Once, and the bastard couldn't even manage that. he almost got off three times, even. fucking terrible.

some warnings: - torture - burning/branding - rape (there's some consensual stuff at the start though) - incest mentions - eye trauma - infidelity/general relationship dishonesty - manipulation - minor pet play - religious themes (its joseph. but maybe someone unaware will look at this, idk lol)

what a mess. have fun kids -Cee

-----

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 4:03 PM Ring didn't announce that he was going to Joseph's. He told Fia that he planned to go and visit, but he didn't tell Joseph himself. He was afraid Joseph might run. An irrational fear, probably, but Joseph had been acting odd since their incursion a few days before. He didn't know what to expect. He pulled up along the dirt path of a driveway Joseph had on his farm and stepped out of the car. The sun was shining and the animals looked to be doing well. He smiled at them. It was really a peaceful sight. He spent a lone minute just watching, letting it calm his nerves. He then turned to nothing and nodded. Today would be an all right day, he was sure of it.

A yelp from the barn caught his attention. He'd intended to head to the house, but he wouldn't be surprised if Joseph was tending to the animals. He walked over to the open doors and swung inside on one hand, calling out, "Hey, Joe! I managed to talk to Gabriel about--" He cut himself off at what he saw. "Uh... What are you doing?"

Visa - Last Wednesday at 4:10 PM Oh god. Oh god. Why, why was this happening!? Ryder had been taken out of the mental ward by his brother, and honestly, it felt so good to be out of there. And when the man had mentioned going to confession, Ryder rolled his eyes. Jesus, of course he would want to do that. "Sure, I'll humor you. but I have to go to my house before I turn into a convert." He had joked, and the exchange started off innocently at first.

However at that exchange of words as confession usually went, something...changed in Joseph. His tone sounded more...twisted, which caused Ryder to feel uncomfortable and move on out of the close compartment. And he would've been home free then, if not for his brother towering over and knocking him out....All Ryder could remember when being in and out of consciousness was the familiar happy tone of his brother, the man pointing a camera at his face. "Is that your baby?....a...is that your puppy?" is all he heard, before he felt a harsh slap. He gasped, eyes wide and head throbbing as he stared at his brother. Where was he!? What was this!? "Joseph! What the fuck!" He yelped, and when those doors opened...well fuck he might as well turn to god now because there was Ring.

"Ring!" Joseph called happily, turning to the man and smiling kindly. "Nice of you to drop in though...ah. You sort of caught me in the middle of getting things situated for you!"

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 4:24 PM "For me?" he echoed. His eyes flicked between Joseph and Ryder, who was handcuffed to the barn wall. It was the exact same place that Michael had been pinned, but with less nails this time. Ryder looked pissed off, but Joseph was as serene as always. He had a hint of danger in him though, a glimmer in his eyes and posture that showed he wasn't as friendly as he seemed. It was a look Ring was all too familiar with. It was one he branded himself with when he was feeling cruel. Right now though, Ring's face was struck with an unsure smile.

Slowly, he put his feet in front of the other, and drew closer. "Joseph... What the hell are you guys doing?" He chuckled a bit, trying to stay relaxed. Maybe it was a weird game of some sort, or a Christian ritual. He didn't know. Anxiety weighted his stomach and suggested his thoughts of innocence were very wrong.

Visa - Last Wednesday at 4:36 PM Joseph sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Well this was a surprise for you! For being so kind to me!" He stated, kneeling down to thumb at the ID coin on Ryder's collar. "I saw how mean my brother was to you... but also saw you really liked to play with him." He hummed, then looking back at Ring and smiling. "Ryder needs to be trained....after all, to be a good boy." He stood, but not quickly enough as Ryder spit on him. The man growled, kicking Ryder directly on the stomach, which caused the animals in the barn to twitch and Mama, the big sheepdog currently trapped behind with the horses, to howl and bark. "Easy, Mama! Lost my temper, pups fine!" He stated, then lifting up Ryder's head. "Right, puppy? Tell her you're ok!" He cooed calmly, sighing as the only words to come out was a weak "fuck you."

"I'm so sorry, Ring....this is gonna take a while." His face looked genuinely saddened, as he stood straight again.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 4:43 PM The display made Ring jump back a step and fall quiet. He didn't have anything to say to Joseph's crazed talk, but his mind did flicker back to Lisa held in Flint's house as the dog tag was played with. He thought back to chat the night he was over there watching her be kicked around, and how Joseph talked about getting a dog. He shuddered with realisation. The "dog" Joseph had been talking about was Ryder. He'd described the dog as a mutt and rebellious and other harsh dehumanising things.

"What the fuck?" he wheezed out after palpable silence came over the barn. "No, really, what the fuck? What is this-- what- what are you doing? He's a person, he's your brother, you can't... do this to him."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 4:56 PM Oh Joseph was surprised by that. Brown eyes flickering to the other man, he tilted his head. "It's weird hearing that coming from you, Ring." He stated, ruffling Ryder's hair absentmindedly and pulling back when he tried to bite him. "From what I've heard....and what I read back.....why would you be so disturbed by what I'm doing?" For once, those eyes didn't show kindness or understanding, rather the soulless insanity that had since plagued his mind. He sighed in annoyance then looking at Ryder as he suddenly shouted.

"Ring! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything I said to you! I....I didn't...mean to....make you angry...." his voice trailed off, before he shook his head and bit his lower lip. Ryder's collar jangled slightly, as he looked up at him, shaking gently. "Just.....please. Don't..don't leave me here...." he whimpered, Joseph suddenly bursting into laughter as he tapped the leash that Ryder was connected to. "Wait! This is familiar isn't it??" He asked, then grabbing the chain and kicking Ryder on his stomach. "Crawl to him, mutt." He ordered, Ryder hesitating.

"Now. That's an order, Ryder!" Another kick, and the man, humiliated, crawled over to the other, glancing up pitifully. "Ring.....please....help me..."

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 5:08 PM Ring raised a trembling hand to his face and shook his head. He knew Joseph had been off, but he didn't imagine this. He knew Joseph had grown close to him, but he never imagined a freakish worship. He'd been caught up in the chase of freeing Joseph that he was ignoring the man's obvious mental problems. Now here he was, watching Ryder be thrashed around like it was Michael again. Joseph had fallen fast back to depravity, or perhaps he'd never been okay at all. He'd just been saying what pleased Ring, since Ring was taking care of him.

The first kick to Ryder made Ring wince in guilt and sympathetic pain. The second time Joseph reared his foot back, Ring lunged, interposing his own leg between Joseph and Ryder. Joseph's foot connected right to Ring's shin. He let out a choke of pain, but looked up to Joseph through it. "Stop it! Now!" he barked. "What do you think you're doing?! Are you a monster?!" The anxiety in his stomach began to flare into anger. "We can't fix you if you're throwing away God and fucking beating people! We can't-- You--" He stared hard at Joseph, then his shoulders slumped. "You don't want to be fixed, do you?"

Visa - Last Wednesday at 5:25 PM Joseph was surprised by the other's sudden interference, stepping back himself and staring at Ring. For a moment, silence was heard, save for Ryder's slowly growing sobs. A....monster...oh is that what he became? The priest could only stare, before a gentle chuckle escaped his throat. "Why would I want to be fixed?" he stated, then stepping forward again. Due to the fact that Joseph let go of the leash, Ryder scrambled behind Ring, looking like a scared child. Joseph glanced at Ryder, then scoffed.

"I'd think that you of all people would like this...I thought I found a kindred spirit...but I guess I was wrong." He smiled kindly, leaning to stare Ring in the eye. "Do you want to know a secret, Ring?" He asked, brown eyes now dull and a smirk slowly forming on his face. "You and I are far more alike than you realize....you say that you deserved your punishment of immortality. So did I." He straightened up, then walking over to his power tools, grabbing a certain tool and looking at it fondly. The nail gun, which was rusted with the blood of Michael. His eyes went soft for a moment, as he ran a finger over the nail. "...I knew that Michael was manipulating me...from day one."

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 5:40 PM Joseph was far taller and wider than Ring, and instinctively, he shrunk in his clothes when Joseph stepped toward him. Ryder grabbing him shocked him out of it, and once more, he puffed out his chest. He wasn't going to just leave Ryder at the mercy of Joseph. He knew some of what Joseph could do, and could imagine everything else. It wasn't good.

"Do you... know how crazy you sound?" he finally spoke up after Joseph brought up Michael. "We're alike? You deserve this? No, Joseph. Not at all. You can be saved." He looked down at Ryder, offering a sorry look, then stepped forward. "I managed to get in touch with Gabriel - I know how we can do it. And God is willing to forgive you." He came behind Joseph, his voice soft. He gingerly reached out and put his hands on Joseph's sides. "But you-- you can't seriously want to stay like this. This awful fucking existence? It's indescribably terrible, and you don't need to. Why wouldn't you want to end it?"

Visa - Last Wednesday at 5:49 PM "I can be honest...I was ready to go back, Ring." he stated, feeling the soft touch and tensing at first. God...that touch....remembering last night, it made him shudder and practically melt. "...the attention was worth it, I thought." he stated, then glancing at Ring. The other was still injured, this he knew. His wings where mangled and he didn't look like he was healing at all. Turning, he set the nails down, then letting his hand reach out to let his thumb gently run over that part of the wing he knew was in pain. "I....thrive on attention. That's why I became a priest." he stated, eyes soft as he leaned over to kiss his injured wing. "It hurts, doesn't it? I did feel bad that you did this to yourself to help my eyesight...and god, it scared me..." He opened, his eyes, not really realizing they had fluttered closed.

"You saved me, Ring...in your own way. Your attention...everything you do, is so important to me...I love you...and I love the people in chat....and I'll do anything to protect you all...even if I have to turn on my own family." His eyes then flickered to Ryder, who had been trying to crawl away, his hand shooting out to open the gate that Mama was kept in. "Mama, baby." he said in a sweet voice, the dog then running over to Ryder and nuzzling his cheek. The dog, in all her intentions, wanted Ryder there to protect him.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 5:59 PM Ring's wing had scabbed over, but it would be slow healing as long as he wasn't using magic on it. He instinctively winced a but when the tear was touched. They were delicate. He didn't shove Joseph away, though, not even when he kissed the wing. Joseph really did like wings. Ring could remember him staring at Michael's in the same affectionate way. They fluttered and folded up when Joseph pulled away, as though scared. Ring hadn't forgotten about the nail gun.

"Joseph... I understand that. The attention thing." He took Joseph's hands and linked their fingers. At the very least, it would keep Joseph from grabbing any weapons. "Not wanting to leave your loved ones. But this isn't right, not when your curse can be lifted. You don't have to sink to this level. You can still love and protect us without tormenting yourself."

Despite the passion in his words, Ring knew they wouldn't change Joseph's mind. "And what are you gonna do when everyone dies and I go home? What do you have then?"

Visa - Last Wednesday at 6:07 PM Smiling, the priest's disposition seemed to calm, particularly to the way he usually acted. With the fact that the other had linked their hands together, Joseph felt like he could stay like this for a while. He felt safe....warm....this attention was truly intoxicating. As much as Ring slept around, fell for other people...hell, even teased him with promises that he knew didn't mean much, he was so desperate for Ring's approval and attention. Though at the mention of Ring's leaving, his eyes widened, and instantly that warmth left his chest. He fell on his knees, looking like a lost child as he glanced up at Ring.

"Leave? No...no I don't want you to leave...I want you to stay with me!" He whimpered, letting his cheek rest on Ring's hip. "I couldn't live without you, Ring. I don't want to live without you...I'd rather die than live without you..." he muttered, eyes once again drifting to Ryder, who was being coddled by their childhood dog. "I'll do anything, Ring...please just...don't leave me....I don't want anyone else but you...."

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 6:24 PM The drop surprised Ring, and he let go of Joseph's hands as he collapsed onto the floor. It was a dramatic gesture. Ring must have rubbed off on him more than he realised. He reached a tentative hand out and began to pet Joseph's head. It was the least comfort he could provide. Joseph's desperation resonated with him and the loneliness he was plagued with, and it only brought forth his desire to go home more.

"I got things at home. Friends, a husband, the end to my curse. An entire life. Eventually I'm gonna go back. You can't really stop that. And eventually, I'm gonna fade from existence too." His hand moved to cradle Joseph's cheek, and Ring tilted Joseph's head up so they were meeting eyes. "So why won't you die for me? You said you'd rather be dead, but you're refusing to have your curse undone. You want to be alone?"

Visa - Last Wednesday at 6:33 PM Joseph looked so lost, but happy that Ring was treating him so tenderly. Tears pricked at his eyes as he nodded, gently rubbing his cheek against Ring's hip. Ryder was merely staring in...disbelief. And a gross feeling washed over him as he looked away, focusing on the knife his brother had forgotten to take out of his pocket. Being chained up, he couldn't reach for it without Joseph getting suspicious. But now that Joseph and Ring where having a....moment....he took the time to grab it from his pocket. tearing the collar off his neck, he stood, knife in hand as he stared at the two.

From Joseph's soft whimpering of "I love you"s, to Ring's rather soft gaze, something in him just fueled the need to throw up. So he did, running out and throwing up outside. The man was shuddering, staring at the ground before shaking his head and letting the tears flow from his eyes. He was almost fucking sold out by his own brother. Treated lesser than dirt...oh god how he wanted to kill him now. But something held him back....and the fact that Mama was now licking his face calmed him...slightly. "Ryder?" he heard, head whipping around as the man, now calmer and happy seemed to call out to him. Ryder stood tall, trying to look more intimidating as he glanced between Ring and Joseph frantically.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 6:45 PM Ring paid Ryder no mind. He was planning to let Ryder go, anyway. If he got himself out, that was okay. In Ring's mind, he told Ryder to run and not stop. Get as far away as he could before Joseph inevitably noticed. It didn't work well, because Joseph immediately noticed Ryder's stampede out the building. Joseph started to get up and stumble after Ryder, but Ring didn't want that. He slid a foot in Joseph's direction, murmuring a spell that caused the ground to rise up around Joseph's feet and lock him in place by the ankles. Ring then walked over and stood in front of him.

"Ryder. Go. I need to talk with Joe still, but I'll find you when we're done. I still owe you a place to stay, after all." He turned back to Joseph. "You didn't answer me. If you love me so much, why are you doing this? Why are you shoving away everything I'm doing for you and making me watch you suffer? Do you want to know what it's like to live like this?!"

Visa - Last Wednesday at 6:50 PM Joseph froze, shrinking at the fact that Ring shouting at him. Eyes drifting to the side, he said nothing, watching Ryder run off with Mama in hot pursuit. "No....I..." he muttered, body now starting to shake, tears started filling his eyes. "I just...wanted to make you happy..." he whimpered, staring down at Ring. "I didn't think about myself...because I didn't want to see you sad..and I didn't want to hurt you...but I messed up on that....thought....and I'm sorry."

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 6:57 PM He sighed. He'd started to raise his voice at Joseph. He hadn't meant to, but this was a topic that meant a lot to him and he was getting fired up over it. He came up to Joseph and once more put an arm around him, his other reaching up to hold Joseph's face. The concrete that'd risen up to hold Joseph slunk back into the ground with rumbling sounds.

"I forgive you, Joe. But you can't be doin' this stuff in hopes to impress me. What's really gonna make me happy is seeing you normal again. What I can't do." He grabbed at Joseph's clothes and put his face in his chest. He was large and comfortable, despite everything. "You don't even understand how much it hurts to see you throw this chance away."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 7:03 PM "I...I don't want to hurt you..." he muttered, letting his hand fly up to gently ruffle Ring's hair. His fingers, despite the callous on them, where soft, and loving as they ran through his hair. His free arm gently wrapped around Ring's waist, as his lips gently pressed against Ring's head. He felt so warm and safe...god Joseph couldn't help but be obsessed with it. He continued to give gentle kisses to Ring's head. "I promise....I promise I won't hurt you again...I'm so sorry...I love you..."

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 7:16 PM Ring didn't mind the affection. He was always the kind to love being held and cooed over. Sure, Fia was nice to snuggle with, but he could practically feel the emotions within Joseph right now, and it touched the loneliness that ached his soul. He nuzzled his face into Joseph and stayed there for a long, calming minute. Joseph was so terribly tormented though, and imprinted like a duckling. Ring wasn't sure how good of an idea this was. This whole situation started because he decided to be greedy and not fix Joseph's eyes as soon as he could.

He looked up after a minute, and into the eyes he made. He supposed he could always take them away if Joseph defied him again. They were gift under the assumption that Joseph would be saved, not use them to corrupt his soul further. His finger came to the edge of Joseph's eye and circled around it as he contemplated his options. His god of life really didn't want Joseph to have those eyes, yet Ring ignored the infinite wisdom for what he felt was right.

"I don't want you to kill or hurt people, okay? I know you thought it would be something I like, and I can tell how much you love me. Don't worry. But you really scared me."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 7:24 PM Joseph felt the finger hear his eyes and shuddered, nodding softly as his hug got a little tighter. "I...I promise...I won't do that to anyone....I promise....I'm so sorry." he whimpered, still nuzzling and cuddling the other man. His chest felt so warm, love absolutely melting what little madness had held him...for the moment. He practically swept the other up, going into the shed to place them both on a bail of hay. God, he loved hugging Ring, sitting the other on his lap and just giving him kisses and loving whispers as he just bombarded the other with affection.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 7:31 PM Being picked up made Ring yelp in surprise and instinctively flail a bit, but he soon grabbed onto Joseph and let himself be carried. He was a bit nervous. Joseph still seemed kind of unstable, and he wasn't sure that he wouldn't be hurt. Thankfully though, Ring was plopped into a pile of hay in a corner of the barn and just pulled into Joseph's lap. He went to say something, but found himself in a kiss. He relaxed at that. Joseph just wanted to cuddle some. Ring kissed him back and put his arms around Joseph's neck. This, at least, he could provide. He murmured back sweet things to him, though he was careful to never say "I love you." He didn't want to know what that might do.

Visa - Last Wednesday at 7:34 PM Joseph shuddered at the affection back, nuzzling the other's neck and kissing at it. His mind was completely addicted to the feeling of Ring, everything about him just made him feel safe....and he never wanted to lose that. The priest's hands drifted down to the other's hips, lips tenderly nipping and kissing at Ring's neck.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 7:39 PM Ring let his head fall to the side when Joseph nuzzled into him, allowing him to kiss his neck. It felt nice. He'd been bedfellows with Joseph before, but it wasn't intimate in this way. He couldn't help but laugh with glee and close his eyes, letting Joseph do what he wanted. It was when Joseph put his hands on Ring's hips that he hesitated. He didn't actually intend to sleep with Joseph again, not while he was like this. Ring wiggled and tried to slip out of Joseph's lap, saying, "Hey, nah. We should limit ourselves."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 7:43 PM Joseph blinked in surprise at Ring suddenly stopping him, pouting gently. His arms wrapped around the others waist, but he didn't try to advance any more. "I'm sorry...please don't leave?" He stated softly, brown eyes locking into his as he gently pressed his forehead against Ring's. The lost expression in his eyes had a dangerous spark to them for a moment, but his expression was still soft as he let his hands gently cup Ring's face. "Please?"

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 7:47 PM Joseph putting his arms around Ring's waist stopped him from wiggling out, but Ring settled when it seemed like Joseph wasn't going to push anything sexual. He looked into Joseph's eyes. He seemed genuinely scared at the prospect of Ring leaving. He'd have to go eventually, of course, but for now, Ring scooted back up against him. "I won't leave, I promise. I'm still here." He gave Joseph another brief kiss and put his arms back around him. "Just don't think we should be doing that anymore."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 7:49 PM "That's fine...you don't need to do anything with me....just as long as your with me...that's all that matters to me." He muttered, once again kissing his head and peppering little kisses on the other's face. Joseph was completely ok without any sex from Ring, holding him like this was something that was much better than sex, honestly. Just feeling his warmth was something that he couldn't live without.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 7:53 PM "Of course I can be with you," he murmured back. This corner of the barn really was a romantic one. When he was in here with Flint, this had been the same pile they were in. He wondered how Flint would react to this. He didn't think Flint would attack Joseph, but it wouldn't matter right now since Joseph couldn't die anyway. He brought his lips to Joseph's and went back to kissing him sweetly, but bit by bit, he grew deeper and more forceful with it until his tongue was in Joseph's mouth and he had a hand wrapped around his head. He wouldn't go any farther than this, but he was going to enjoy what they would do.

Visa - Last Wednesday at 7:58 PM Joseph was absolutely intoxicated by the kiss, from the sweetness of it to the forcefulness. His breathing was shallow, large chest raising and falling as he started to pant a bit harder. He promised Ring that he wouldn't touch him in any sexual way, for a fact, but this kissing was really making him hot under the collar. Well it would be his own problem in this case, he wanted to respect Ring's rule. He did, however, let his own tongue slip against Ring's tongue, swirling it around the other's tongue as his face started to get redder with the moan that escaped him. As much as he wanted to pull back and apologize for that moan, he was far too deep into the kiss.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 8:10 PM The moan was pretty cute. Ring could feel Joseph recoil a bit, but he had a hand around Joseph's head, and Joseph fell back into what they were doing anyway. He moved his legs a bit so he straddled Joseph's lap and pulled up closer to him. Ring was always one for being a little touchy, even if he didn't have any intent behind it. His free hand rested on Joseph's shoulder and ran down his body, gently tugging at his collar as he did. His hand groped at Joseph's chest while it worked down, and he couldn't help but snicker.

Visa - Last Wednesday at 8:15 PM Oh he was teasing him wasn't he? The larger man, despite his size, squirmed under Ring's touch, panting heavily as his hands went from Ring to the hay underneath them. He panted softly, tongue merely working messily as he continued to kiss the other. His chest was a...rather sensitive...area, so Ring touching him there caused another moan to escape his throat. Don't touch Ring...Don't touch Ring....don't touch Ring....God this was hard, but he had made a promise and was intent on keeping them.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 8:21 PM Joseph's reactions only egged Ring on. It entertained him to feel Joseph worm under him and to hear his moaning. He was really getting flustered. Ring's fingers trailed down to the bottom of Joseph's shirt, where it slid underneath and back up Joseph. His hand was warm and soft, and took its time. His fingers moved across every inch of his flesh before finally settling to hold him by the side of his chest, his thumb rolling over Joseph's nipple.

Visa - Last Wednesday at 8:26 PM Breaking the kiss, Joseph gasped; biting his lower lip and shivering as Ring's fingers teased him relentlessly. His hips bucked, which probably looked a little odd considering Ring was currently on his lap. God this was getting intense, but again his motive stayed relatively firm. He panted, whimpering with Ring's insistent touches as he threw his head back. He felt dizzy with lust, but as much as he just wanted to take Ring then and there, he steeled himself.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 8:33 PM It was getting hard to not be actually grabby with Joseph. He meant it when he said he didn't want to have any more sex, but this was fun. Joseph was getting pitifully turned on from just some making out and light touches. He nuzzled himself against Joseph's neck when the kiss broke and panted hot breaths down his spine. The hand he had behind Joseph's head fell away. He stuck his tongue in his mouth and licked it, then brought it to play with Joseph's other nipple.

"You're a good boy for not touching me," he mumbled out in Joseph's ear, then pressed a kiss beneath it. His hips pressed against Joseph's waist, and then he grinded down, rubbing his ass against Joseph's groin. He gave him another kiss, and cooed, "Such a good boy..."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 8:42 PM Oh lord, this was so intense. Joseph panted as Ring mouthed him, hands still gripping the hay as he tried to keep his resolve strong. Feeling Ring grind against him, his eyes fluttered closed, panting as his hips slowly matched his grinding. He was hard, that much was obvious by now as his erection strained against his jeans. "G-Good...hah...I'm a....good boy?" He panted out, brown eyes clouded with lust as the other praised him. Oh lord that praise was even hotter due to this moment. "I-I'll be good...ah...I won't...t-touch you if you don't want me too...I promise!"

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 8:47 PM Somewhere in Ring's mind, he told himself that he should stop. Joseph was fully hard, and Ring was starting to get turned on himself. Yet, he didn't - he just dragged himself up and down Joseph's lap, teasing him further and letting blood start to rush through his own body. His kisses began to trail along Joseph's jawline, but he mumbled between them, "Good... Good boy... And this isn't really doing things, right? 'Cause we still have our clothes on... So it's okay."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 8:53 PM "R-Right..." he panted, shivering as his erection throbbed against Ring's ass. He was seeing stars at this point, eyes squeezing shut as his arms began to shake. It was so hard to not touch Ring, and his knuckles where getting white from gripping the hay so hard. He bit his lip harder, making it bleed as he continued to buck his hips without restraint. God, just having Ring on top of his lap and grinding against him was making him flustered, and he did feel embarrassed by this. However the fact that Ring was riding him (almost) masked the embarrassment as he moaned.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 9:03 PM It was fine. They weren't naked, no one was in anyone else, and Joseph wasn't touching him. This was flirting, not sex. Ring flirted a lot. He knew the differences. He brought his lips up to Joseph's again and tasted blood. He didn't notice Joseph had started to bleed. For the first time since he started his flirting, he moaned, and he began to lick up the blood between small kisses. What a little brat. Ring had definitely mentioned before he liked when a little bleeding was involved. He only flushed with more arousal at the iron taste.

He pulled away and panted, "Fuck-- Okay, let me, um." He pushed Joseph onto his back and brought their hips together, now grinding his own erection against Joseph's. "Don't-- N-no touching still. This isn't-- Fuck--" His words hitched as he pressed in harder. "It's not sex if it's just me being me."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 9:12 PM Joseph gasped, feeling Ring rub against him but moaned more. He wasn't even thinking of what Ring was saying at this rate, eyes squeezed shut as he felt the other man press harder against him. Soft mewling turned into full on moans now, feeling the head of his dick leak as he grinded against him. Fuck...fuck fuck fuck...he wanted him inside him. Wanted that dick in him so bad...but no...shit no don't think like that--Be good Joseph, be good. Joseph's hands where now gripping the prickly haystack below him, panting as he stared up at the ceiling. "Good god...ahh~" He moaned, remembering the other moments that he was with Ring.

He threw his head back, panting desperately as his pleasure burned more intensely. "Please...please, please please~" he whimpered, feeling his orgasm come close.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 9:27 PM Ring kept mumbling excuses and reasons for why what they were doing was allowed, but as Joseph's voice rose, it got harder to not start moaning with him. His words kept trailing off in gasps and groans. He eventually resolved to stop trying and just go back to licking at the wound that'd first gotten him so excited. His hands pawed at Joseph for a decent grip, but he was moving too much to actually hold anything, and his body wouldn't let him stop. He desperately wanted to actually fuck Joseph and look at his face twist in pleasure. But this was as good as he'd get, and the thought of pausing ached his needy cock. He just continued to frot against him, enjoying the fast friction. It felt good. So, so good. Ring bit at the cut in Joseph's lip and moaned lewdly.

Visa - Last Wednesday at 9:31 PM Joseph cried out, coming intensely as his body shuddered. His hips rammed against Ring's hips, panting as shaky hands so desperately clawed at the haystack as he rode out his orgasm. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, loud and desperate panting escaped him. His body was shaking, and jeans soiled, Joseph whimpering softly. He wanted to hug the other, but he still stayed with his no touching rule.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 9:37 PM Joseph came, and Ring let out a groan of dissatisfaction. He wasn't done yet. He wasn't close to cumming, though he was thoroughly worked up and would be hard to calm down at this point. He pushed himself off of Joseph and sat up, leaning back on trembling arms. His erection was still very much in view and throbbing under his pants. He put a hand on it and groped at it idly, grumbling, "Goddammit... Look what you've left me with, Joe. You're too dangerous. You keep making me wanna fuck your brains out."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 9:42 PM Joseph panted, slowly sitting up and staring at Ring's pants. He bit his lip again, eyes flickering up at Ring. "I..I wouldn't mind helping you...." he whimpered, then putting his hands on either side of Ring's hips. He wasn't touching him at all, but those brown eyes where just staring up at him with a half glazed look. "Or...or you can jerk off and cum on my face...no touching necessary..." he panted, eyeing Ring's crotch hungrily.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 9:50 PM Ring didn't shove Joseph away when he came up close to him, but eyed him warily. He managed a small laugh at Joseph's first suggestion, and said, "I think it kinda crosses the line if I were to actually be in you." Despite that, his eyes stayed focused on Joseph's lips. He wanted to cram his cock down Joseph's throat and watch him choke and love it. Ring clenched his jaw as another groan rose out of him, even more desperate from before. He really, really shouldn't, but maybe that jerking off idea wasn't too bad. After a moment of quiet contemplation, he eventually hissed out, "Fuck," and scrambled to undo his pants. His hand near immediately wrapped around his dick and began to stroke himself furiously. Soon after, he dissolved into moans and whimpers as he continued to stare down at Joseph's lips.

Visa - Last Wednesday at 9:56 PM Joseph was trying so hard not to do anything to Ring, but seeing how hot Ring looked, he licked his lips.. Without missing a beat, he leaned forward, keeping his hands away from Ring but looking up innocently as he bobbed his head. He panted around Ring's dick, letting the head hit the back of his throat as he choked gently on it. He was going at a slow pace at first, but slowly worked up to suck and bob his head a bit faster.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 10:04 PM Though Ring was looking at Joseph, his mind was more absorbed in his thoughts, and he didn't actually register that Joseph had moved until he suddenly felt Joseph's mouth around his cock. He leaned his head back and let out a low moan of, "No," yet his hand let go of himself to grab at Joseph's hair and urge him further down. He rolled his hips with Joseph's bobbing, forcing himself in and out deeper. It felt heavenly, even if he wasn't even doing too much yet. His mouth was hot and wet and kept taking him. It was everything he was craving right now. His noises grew louder and longer as Joseph continued to work on him, and it wasn't long until his breaths were quick and he was begging for more.

Visa - Last Wednesday at 10:10 PM Joseph choked more on Ring's dick, eyes tearing up as he glanced up at the other man. Seeing him look more pleasured, he let his tongue lick the underbelly of his shaft, feeling the head practically shove down his throat with each thrust. He paused, keeping his dick down his throat. He panted, rather enjoying the feeling of Ring's dick blocking his throat. He moaned around it, letting his tongue swirl a bit around the other's dick. He didn't move for a while, before pulling back a bit, panting and coughing as his head went back to bobbing and sucking on Ring's dick. He wanted so desperately to touch him....but again, have to be good.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 10:21 PM Ring's eyes fluttered shut as he started to lose himself to the sensations. Feeling Joseph's tongue start to work on his cock made him shiver and shove him further down. He let out an excited cry as he felt himself actually push into Joseph's throat instead of teasing it. Even if Joseph stopped moving, Ring didn't, only wanting to fuck his mouth harder. Luckily for Joseph, their positions didn't loan to it that well, and he could only do small thrusts. But it was enough for him. It kept his excitement building. When Joseph started moving again, Ring whined out, "Oh God, Joseph... This is so fucking good-- You-you're such a good boy..."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 10:26 PM Oh....oh. Joseph squirmed, panting harder as he sucked harder, unzipping his own pants to start rubbing himself. He let Ring's dick ram hard and deep as possible, fingers rubbing at the head of his own dick. He absolutely enthralled, feeling his throat get used to Ring as he shut his eyes. He was getting hard again, and the fact that Ring praised him didn't help either.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 10:36 PM Ring didn't notice what Joseph was doing, and likely for the better. He could barely contain himself anymore, squirming in Joseph's mouth and groping at whatever his hand grabbed. His feet kicked and dug against the hay to try and find purchase. His words dissolved into loud moans and crying out Joseph's name. His cock drooled out pre into Joseph's throat. He was getting close. The hand holding Joseph's hair was practically controlling it now, forcing him to move quick and deep on Ring. Joseph's inevitable choking only massaged Ring's dick further.

"Oh my God," he groaned out again. "Joseph, you're s-so good, you're such a good boy. Fuck, you're so fucking good..." He broke off with another moan. "I'm gonna cum soon, Joseph, babe-- I wanna-- Don't stop, I wanna cum down your throat."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 10:43 PM Joseph let Ring control from here, letting his throat clench and squeeze around Ring's dick, eyes half lidded as he absolutely LOVED getting his throat ravaged. His hand was jerking at his own dick, the priest drooling on Ring's throbbing cock at the mention of Ring's cum down his throat. He whimpered, feeling his breathing hitch as his dick throbbed as well. He was sucking HARD now, looking hungry as his eyes practically rolled up, unable to focus on his own dick now as he choked around Ring's dick.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 10:56 PM Ring's head was still tilted back, his eyes closed and his mouth open from all his noises. When he stopped to pant, his tongue lolled out of his mouth not unlike a dog. He was deaf to his surroundings except his cries and Joseph's slurping. He'd forgotten he was in a barn and that he wasn't supposed to be doing this. He only cared about the pressure rising in his groin and the pleasure being done onto him. Ring's movements got desperate and shaky, pushing them both just a little bit further until his body shuddered and he came. He screamed, gripping at the hay and pounding his cock in with each pulse of his seed. He was always to cum more than needed, and Joseph brought out the worst of him. After several breath-taking seconds of orgasming hard in Joseph, he flopped backwards and practically melted into the hay, panting and gasping for air.

Visa - Last Wednesday at 11:07 PM Joseph didn't expect that much to pour out, but feeling Ring's dick practically expand in his throat, his haze was broken for a second as his eyes widened. Hot cum shot down his throat and into his stomach, the priest gagging slightly as tears pricked into his eyes. After several seconds of unloading, and as Ring flopped back, Joseph paused, bobbing his head to suck up whatever was left before taking him out with a rather lewd pop. He panted, rubbing his cheek against Ring's dick and looking.....honestly very satisfied. If anyone could see him now, nothing would indicate AT ALL that he was a man of the cloth, what with his pants unbuttoned, hair disheveled, and happy kisses on the other man's dick.

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 11:34 PM He was vaguely aware of what Joseph was doing, but for the most part, he was checked out of his surroundings. The world buzzed around him and meant nothing at all. But slowly, it pieced itself back together. He could feel Joseph's nuzzling, and the exhaustion that had rolled over him. Ring tentatively sat back up. He pushed Joseph's face away and shoved his cock back into his pants, muttering, "Sorry, that-- Ugh. I really can't control myself, huh."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 11:39 PM Joseph looked like an absolute mess, looking up at Ring. His lips where bruised from the constant pounding, and his once tidy clothing and hair where now disheveled. His dick was out too, leaking from the orgasm he had after Ring came. "I...its ok....I mean." He smiled. "I didn't touch you!"

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 11:49 PM He got a better look at Joseph after zipping up his pants. While the look was normally pretty hot to him, seeing how he absolutely messed someone up, he just felt disgusted now. Disgusted at what he did, how Joseph was falling, and how Ring kept making everything worse. He scooted back a couple feet and shook his head, saying, "No, I'm sorry. I didn't-- We really shouldn't have these affairs anymore. I mean that. You're too in love with me. I don't want to tempt you off of recovery again."

Visa - Last Wednesday at 11:54 PM Joseph's eyes widening again, arms shakily pushing him up as he fixed himself, hand reaching up to smooth back his hair. "You're not leaving me, are you? I'm sorry, I tempted you!" He whimpered, the grabbing the others shoulders. Tears started to fall from his eyes, his hands squeezing the others shoulders. "I promise i wont do it again!! I'll be good!"

Solynx - Last Wednesday at 11:58 PM Ring was still fairly lethargic, but he had enough sense to notice Joseph was starting to freak out. He backed up again, off of the hay, only for his shoulders to be grabbed. Joseph's fingers dug into him and made him tense up, yelping, "Hey, that hurts!" He put his hands on Joseph's and tried to pull them off. "I need to go home. I can tell you about Gabriel later."

Visa - Yesterday at 1:15 AM Joseph noticed the yelp, then remembering how his brother reacted to him and completely backed himself to the wall, staring at Ring and seeming to be lost in thought. For a moment, he looked more confused than ever, staring at his hands as he considered his options. The fact that both his brother and Ring where scared of him...really fucked him up. What was he doing wrong? Was he being to rough? Was he not good enough? He whimpered, looking at Ring again and shaking his head. "No...no no.....Ring...please...! Don't go...!"

Solynx - Yesterday at 1:22 AM Ring pulled Joseph off surprisingly easy for the grip he just had. He watched as Joseph cowered away. It was odd to see him so suddenly recoil, but it was a good chance to leave since he wasn't being held. Ring pushed himself up to unsteady feet. "Joe. Relax. I'm not leaving you to die. Just uh, we should both take a bit alone after that."

Visa - Yesterday at 1:26 AM Joseph didn't respond, rather, was mumbling as he stood, grabbing the nail gun from his stash. The blood had dried...so nicely....he truly did miss having Michael here when he did....and felt for a moment that he was indeed still here. "....right...I...I'm sorry, Ring....You have every right to want that..." he stated finally, then looking at Ring and smiling at him. "Now hurry...before I change my mind and keep you here like I was going to Ryder." This was said in a sweet fashion, but had every kind of bad intent in it.

Solynx - Yesterday at 1:31 AM He'd paused at Joseph suddenly leaping up and running over to the table, only to stiffen with anxiety at seeing him snatch up the nail gun. His wings tucked themselves in out of fear. The smile caused him to rattle with dread. It wasn't a nice smile, as sweet as he was trying to be. Ring didn't give Joseph a verbal response to what he said. He just turned heel and began walking out of the barn.

Visa - Yesterday at 12:45 PM The priest stared at nail gun for a moment, brown eyes flickering over the nail bit and the blood. It was funny, really, how much had happened to him recently....him, getting lied to by Michael....Ring's kindness. If anything he loved the thrill of it, and hearing nothing outside, a content smile spread on his face as he set down the nail gun and grabbed a leash and dog collar.

Of course he was still there, why wouldn't he be? The priest slowly advanced on the other, suddenly wrapping his arms around the other. "Didn't you hear what I said?" He cooed softly, picking the man up and walking calmly to the shed again. He set him down, grabbing the collar and placing it around Ring's neck.

Solynx - Yesterday at 1:17 PM Ring had walked at a fast pace to get out of there and rounded a corner to be out of immediate view. A lot just happened. He walked in on Joseph trying to teach Ryder to be a dog, and he confessed to wanting an eternal life to spend with him. He'd gone completely crazy and obsessed. He let out a shaking sigh as his mind flipped through everything before he went into his pocket and got out his phone. He needed to update Gabriel.

"gabe. i dont think joe can be saved" "i still think we should remove his curse. but he's really gone off the deep end." "idk if there's a way to save him from going to hell" "he fucking had ryder tied up in his barn and was kicking him around and stuff" "ryder like his brother" "he's really gone crazyhgu"

Arms wrapping around Ring's chest made him jump and flub the rest of his message. He hadn't heard anything creep up behind him. He looked back to see Joseph staring down at him, that cruel smile still on his face. He tried to jerk away. The grip only got tighter. Panic started to rise in his chest. He crammed his phone back into his pocket, accidentally sending another keymash in the process, then put his hands around Joseph's arms and tried to tear them off. His claws instantly came out and dug into Joseph's skin.

"Let go of me," he snarled. "I was on my way--" His words cut off with a yelp as he was suddenly lifted and dragged back to the shed. He thrashed and kicked, but Joseph was far stronger than he was. It would take more than some physical force to get out of this. He was about to cast a spell when he was dropped on the ground, cutting his focus. The concrete was hard and hurt to crash on. He looked up. Joseph's eyes were glazed and far, like he'd completely forgotten Ring was something sentient. Or maybe this was him just not caring.

A stomp on Ring's leg stopped his thoughts short as he yelled with pain. In the next moment he was aware of, Joseph had him by the throat and put a collar on him. Ring shook his head and tried to lean away. "No-- No, you are not doing this." He put a hand to the jewels on his necklace and began to cast a quick teleportation spell.

Visa - Yesterday at 1:29 PM "I'm not?" He tilted his head, watching Ring begin his chant. His eyes where completely dead now, no joy or kindness. Just full on insanity. He grabbed his nail gun, looking at it fondly. "I'm sure if you leave, I can find Ryder again....I mean...you really hit the mark with praising me and making me excited...I wouldn't be surprised if it worked on him too..." he hummed, then slamming his foot down on Ring's leg again. "I know you can easily leave....and it does make me sad...I don't want to hurt you, but oh god, I can hurt Ryder....or Mary....."

Solynx - Yesterday at 1:40 PM The mention of finding Ryder again made Ring stop cold with his words. "You-- You wouldn't. I told you not to." His words were low, a disbelieving whisper. He'd been too hopeful in Joseph saying he'd give things up for Ring. His obsession and insanity were too deep, and Ring really might have broken his only hold by walking away a minute ago. He shrunk back as far as he could. Joseph was actually starting to scare him.

The second kick to his leg caused him to curse again. It was already hurting from the earliest kick to it, when he'd saved Ryder. These weren't helping. He curled in a bit and gripped at his leg the best he could. It was always his left leg that got abused - Flint had carved it up, and now Joseph was beating it. He looked up at Joseph, starting to tremble a bit from the pain. "You don't have to hurt anyone! Leave them alone!"

Visa - Yesterday at 1:51 PM Joseph chuckled, kneeling down and gently caressing Ring's cheek. "Oh Ring...I don't want to hurt anyone...I just want to love you." He stated, reaching down and suddenly yanking the necklace away. He looked at it, whistling as he turned it over. "Quite a set of jewelry you have, Ring! Maybe I can customize your collar to be this pretty!" He remarked, setting it on his tool table. He knelt down again, gently kissing Ring's forehead before his hand went down to caress the leg he had been taking a beating. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, my beautiful Ring....I'll let that heal."

Solynx - Yesterday at 1:59 PM "Hey--!" Ring lunged after the necklace, but with the foot still holding him down, he couldn't reach them. He was like a child trying to grab a cookie jar. Anxiety turned his stomach. This wasn't good. He wore those because he had to protect them - it could be catastrophic in the wrong hands. He made another failed lunge and hissed, "Give that back! It's not jewelry, it's an artifact, and it's not for fucking dressing up!"

And yet, Joseph still set them aside. Ring snarled and bared his demonic teeth. If nothing else, he could try and intimidate Joseph out of this. Bit by bit, his devilish features cropped up. Though to Joseph nuzzling his leg, he had nothing but disgust. He raised his foot and kicked Joseph in the face, snapping, "This isn't love, you fucking freak."

Visa - Yesterday at 2:08 PM Joseph reeled back from the kick, and felt blood trickle from his nose. For a moment, he sat there, letting the blood drip onto the floor, before a rather crazed laugh escaped him. "Damn, ok! Ring, we're playing rough, huh?" He stated, pulling his hands away from his face. He looked absolutely insane, with a crazed expression and a face splitting grin. He stood, wiping his nose on his sleeve and grabbing a cattle brander. He set it in the charcoal fire he had going on (it was mostly for the heat, it got cold in here after all!), before turning to look at Ring. "And what would you know about that?" his tone dropped almost immediately, monotone and lifeless as he stared down at the being.

"Sleeping with everyone...everything that is deemed attractive by you....ah...but right....your husband...you love him right?" He stated, rolling up his sleeves and loosening his collar. He grabbed the cattle brander after a while, walking over to Ring and pointing it at his face. "Did you know that's a sin? Lying with others instead of lying with your husband? You're not very faithful are you?"

Solynx - Yesterday at 2:23 PM Despite the kick freeing him of Joseph for the moment, Ring had a feeling his actions were about to bite him. The laugh Joseph let out made his blood run cold. It was the same sort of sadistic laugh he did when his victims had life to them. He shrunk back, only to press up against a wall. There wasn't anywhere else to move. He started to glance at the sides, wondering how easily it'd be to run. He could protect Mary and Ryder from Joseph. He just had to get out of here first.

He'd sort of tuned Joseph out when he'd walked away. His words were just there to rattle him more. The mention of his husband made his attention immediately snap right back onto Joseph. "Of course I love him, he's--" He cut himself off as the cattle brander was put in his face. He turned his head away as best as he could for where he was. He could take the pain if he had to, but that didn't mean he wanted to. His shaking started again. He didn't want that on him.

His eyes stayed on the glowing point as he said in slow reply, "He does it too. It's an agreement we have if we're not in the same life. We don't have sins back home... Just laws, but that isn't one of them."

Visa - Yesterday at 2:36 PM Joseph chuckled, letting his cattle brander graze against the other's cheek. "So you're both in sin? You both fuck others despite "loving" each other? What if he fell in love with someone else, hm? Don't you feel guilty fucking all these people when you know your husband is doing the same?" He then snapped his fingers, as if in realization. "Oh oh! Unless! Unless you get off on that thought?" He reeled the cattle brander back, setting it in the coals again before looking at Ring again. "You probably imagine it being him...right? That's why you don't want to love anyone else? That's pretty cruel, you know?" He stated, grabbing the nail gun, a favored weapon of choice at this point, waving it around. "Do you know how people normally are? They fall in love SO easily! Think of Fia, FD.....me...we all love you so much!"

He glanced at the nail gun, running a finger over it lovingly. "Of course....after a lot of consideration...I should hate you too. You kept me to yourself for so long...you know, you had a chance of saving me!" He stated, then sitting next to Ring. "You had your chance....but oh the thought. You loved caring for someone who was so helpless didn't you? Loved the idea of people praising you for being the kindhearted soul to care for someone who was also in need!" His grin faded, eyes seeming to dull even more. "....despite being there with you and Fia. I felt alone. Hiko was such good company....for a while. But I was truly alone." He looked at Ring, then tapping the nail gun on his chest. "Hearing you and Fia...being all lovey dovey....truly made me sick."

Solynx - Yesterday at 2:56 PM Ring winced away from the brander, but his face was already against the wall. There wasn't anywhere for his face to go, though. He took a hissing breath as it burned at the edges of his skin, causing it to turn red and welt. It didn't hurt as bad as the knots in his stomach, though.

Part way through Joseph's speech, though, Ring glared and cut him off. "And what would you fucking know about what we've been through or our lives?! We fall in love with others. We have flings. So fucking what?! We still love each other, and the only thing we have is each other! We've been like this for billions of lives, Joseph. You're not going to convince me we're anything but meant for each other when I have literal eons of memories telling me we are."

He then suddenly cut himself off and gritted his teeth. Joseph didn't need to know about him and his husband, or the intricacies of their relationship. He didn't care. He was just looking for things to bother Ring with. And sure, Ring had his doubts and thoughts, but at the end of the day, they truly were in love with each other. He reminded himself that, then went to look at Joseph. He was going off about... something. Ring's actions while taking care of him. He'd messed up pretty badly with that. He knew that. He accepted it and forgave himself and was trying to right things. Joseph was the one being resistant.

"And why is that my problem?" He asked at the mention of him and Fia. His eyes fluttered down to the nail gun. He didn't like that. "I didn't try to make you alone, Joseph. I had people over constantly because I knew it'd be bad if you were alone. The only person I hesitated on was Flint, and that was really only until you promised me you'd want to go back to God. Everything I've done has been to help you."

Visa - Yesterday at 3:09 PM "Really?" the nail gently prodded at Ring's chest, eyes seeming to cloud over as he then moved up, shuffling over to straddle Ring's legs. Though as soon as he was over them, he put his weight on them. "Sure, you had plenty of people over! And I surly enjoyed it...but Ring, what difference does it make to a man that loved to see the smiles of those he loved?" For a moment, his eyes softened, the nail gun being set back in its place. He grabbed an open mouth gag, gently putting it on Ring's neck to hang around loosely. "I couldn't even see my own brother, who you so lovingly put in a mental ward...though honestly, maybe he should've stayed there, hm?"

He grabbed Ring's face, staring blankly into his eyes. "the only time i truly felt something was when you gave me back my sight....made me feel needed....I didn't care that you only wanted sex or just someone to be a reassuring shoulder to cry on....I wanted to be close to you." He pressed a kiss against Ring's forehead, then grabbing a knife that he had close by. "But after everything...after you so cruelly rejected the gift I had for you....suddenly I'm not so sure about how I feel about you anymore."

Solynx - Yesterday at 3:26 PM The one thing that had been reassuring Ring about this whole situation was that he was still free. He could still bolt if things ever got too intense. It would be hard, but he wasn't restrained. So Joseph sat on his lap, pinning him where he was, and his eyes grew wide. "Joseph, don't--" he started to say, but cut himself off with a flinch when Joseph moved. It was just putting the nail gun away and grabbing what looked like a gag. Ring tried to shrink and squirm away from it, but he couldn't get far. He was seized and the gag put on. For now, it hung around his neck, but it didn't feel good to have it there.

He went quiet, his head hanging low while Joseph talked. He didn't mean to put Ryder in a mental ward. He had been angry and saying stupid things he didn't mean. He took it all back a mere hour later. Never could he have imagined that Ryder would try and kill himself, though he found it naive he didn't consider it. He chewed on his lip. For once, the sight of a knife didn't excite him.

"Joseph," he whispered after a moment, "I'm sorry. For what I did to you and how I made you feel. You're right, I should've healed you as soon as I could, not waited a week for me to start feeling bad. I was greedy and selfish and mean to you, and it's hurt you badly. But I'm trying to make up for what I did. Even if I'm rejecting your gift, I still care about you. I want to see you happy and able to live a normal life. And..." He broke off with a sigh. He was rambling out of fear. "I do want you around. The gesture was nice! Just, you're only doing it because you're suffering. And it hurts to see you like this."

Visa - Yesterday at 3:38 PM The light in Joseph's eyes seemed to return, and for a moment, the priest looked....peaceful. The fear in the other's eyes was truly charming though. The priest licked his lips, leaning down to claim the other's lips before putting the mouth gag on Ring. "It shouldn't." he said simply, then setting the knife on Ring's tongue. The tip pricked at Ring's tongue, and Joseph fought the urge to just run that knife down. After all, God wouldn't let him die, right? "You shouldn't feel a damn thing for someone like me. Your sweet lies are just...so addicting, you know? How badly I want to listen to them." he stated, letting the knife ease in farther, easing it in and out.

"you know, i want to feel guilty for scaring you like this...I truly do..." he sighed, letting his free hand grab the nail gun again. "But then I remember Michael....remember those lies he told me as well...how he loved me...how he would protect me. How he would make me feel...safe..." He frowned, letting the knife ease out and looking at it thoughtfully. "....you know I know you said you love knives, but you don't seem very excited! Would it be better if I just use this on myself instead?" A sly grin as he stared at Ring. "After all, God won't let me die....why not make things interesting, huh?"

Solynx - Yesterday at 3:47 PM The mouth gag went on, and horror settled in Ring's mind instead of words. He tried to say a thing or two at first, but with nothing coherent. He fell silent. Joseph called him out on his lies, too. He hadn't meant much of what he said. He did feel bad and wanted to see Joseph not so crazy, but above all else, he wanted to be out of here and far away from him. He'd suggested it to Gabriel, but now Ring was sure - Joseph was far, far beyond saving. Michael's corruption and Ring's misuse had tainted him too much.

While the knife teasing his mouth would normally excite him, this wasn't a situation where he was feeling too sexual. His tongue flattened and tried to slink away from the blade, but there wasn't anywhere to go. His squirming caused his tongue to slide against the knife and cut open. He whimpered at the pain. Blood began to leak into his mouth moments after.

He didn't answer Joseph. He couldn't and didn't want to. He just kept his head slightly hung and his tongue curled up in pain. He'd seen Joseph grab the nail gun, and like before, his wings folded in. He didn't want to be impaled. Joseph was talking about harming himself, though. That was good. That was a distraction. Maybe he could get a moment to bolt if he hurt himself too badly.

Visa - Yesterday at 3:57 PM Joseph frowned, tsking a bit and setting the knife to the side and grabbing the other's hair, pulling it up and taking the mouth gag off. He squished Ring's cheeks a bit, staring at him a bit, before pulling away entirely. "You don't really care. The look on your face proves that. You only cared for me because you thought of yourself...thought of your own sadness and terror being alive for so long." He frowned, staring at his hands again. "Don't you know it's bad to imprint on people? To sympathize with someone that is going through what you are? Because you never know who you're fucking with."

He squeezed his fists together tight, then letting them fall to his sides. "God doesn't care, Ring. Not yours, not mine....they don't care if we suffer. I learned that the day I saved Mary." He sighed, then glancing at the cattle brander again. "....when she was torn out of her mother, I knew right then and there that humanity wasn't worth saving. Wasn't worth anything....sure, I listened to Michael, became a priest. But that was merely for curiosity sake. Even with the words I speak to the people....I know that there's nothing we can do to be forgiven...."

Solynx - Yesterday at 5:05 PM The mouth gag came off moments after. Ring probably wasn't making it entertaining enough to keep on. Even still with it off, he didn't speak. He just let his mouth close. Joseph was right in everything he was saying - that Ring cared so much because he didn't want anyone else to suffer what he had. That wasn't a bad thing, though. It was truly something terrible to bear, and Joseph hadn't even committed a slight against the gods. Ring deserved it, he'd tampered with time. His husband deserved it, he stole knowledge from the gods. But Joseph was lead astray and just going insane.

He glanced up when Joseph carried on, now talking about religion. Ring chewed on the thought for a moment, then said, "The gods do care. Maybe your's is a dick, but I've seen mine, and talked to them, and studied them. They love us and want us to be happy. Even the cruelest of gods watch over us. They don't care what we do, as long as it's our best life."

Visa - Yesterday at 5:16 PM "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He said coldly, looking at Ring again. His stature kept changing, from a confident and rather cocky individual, to a now tired looking and sad one. "You know as well as I do that even if I go back to having god in my life, nothing will save me. I've already sinned....a lot....capturing my brother....thinking of killing Mary....being with you..." He trailed off, then grimacing as he walked over to Ring and lifting his head to look at him. "You....I trusted you. I loved you, but you where planning to abandon me, weren't you? You where going to leave and tell everyone to be wary of me." he gripped his hair.

"You said things would be fine. Said that we'd all be happy...so why...why don't I feel that!? Even before kidnapping Ryder I felt that..."

Solynx - Yesterday at 5:32 PM "Joseph... no. I was never going to abandon you." Despite the grip on Ring's hair making him wince, he gave Joseph a steady look in the eyes. "I was just panicking because of what we did. I feel bad for it. You're so in love with me... I don't want to take advantage of that." That much, at least, was true. He didn't want Joseph to become a guilty pleasure for him. This is a man's life. It didn't matter if they wouldn't remember it in the next one - he had no right to take advantage of people. If anything, his husband always wanted him to remember that. Normal people had every right to be happy as he did.

"You can be happy and fine. Even if God won't take you, you can still live a life. Screw Heaven. But you're broken right now, Joe. You're hurting people you love. That's gonna make you feel like shit." Slowly, Ring took his hands and began to try and push himself up to standing, saying carefully, "It doesn't have to be like this. You can let me go and let me leave."

Visa - Yesterday at 6:12 PM Joseph looked almost convinced by Ring, eyes filling with tears as he bit his lip. Though, hearing his pleading for leaving, he closed his eyes, shaking his head like he was shaking off a though. He suddenly reeled his hand back, punching Ring square in the stomach. He stepped back, then looking at the tools he had before his eyes landed on the necklace Ring had. ".....you said you needed to protect these, right?" he stated, then putting them in his pocket. "You're going to have to try harder than that to get these back and leave....I swear, you almost had me."

His hands landed on a hammer, as he walked over to Ring again and gripped the hammer. "No matter what....no matter what, you still want to leave. I know the moment you leave, that you're going to say something bad to the others. And I can't have that." He lifted the others chin with the hammer. "I used to adore you, honestly. But now that I'm more aware of your lies.....I just want to beat that pretty little face in."

Solynx - Yesterday at 6:24 PM The punch to his stomach made Ring choke and stumble back down onto the ground. He already felt sick with worry, and now pain was added on top of that. Joseph had looked so convinced, too. For all the man was doing, he seemed to just want an explanation and some guidance. He was lost and confused and hurt. Or maybe Ring was still seeing himself, and he wanted someone to relate to.

He looked up when Joseph spoke again, just in time to watch the magical necklace be shoved into Joseph's pocket. He grimaced. It was really looking like he would have to knock out and actually abandon Joseph if he wanted to get out of this. He was still catching himself and thinking of what he could do when Joseph forced his head up. Ring stared back with nothing but fear.

"I'm not going to say anything," he croaked. "I promise. You know where I live, you know my secrets, you could ruin me if I spoke up. And I'm not lying... I really do love-- Ah--" He shrunk further away. "C-care about you. I care about you a lot."

Visa - Yesterday at 6:31 PM That slip....for a moment, the lost look reappeared on his face, the soft expression forming on his face as he walked over. He set the necklace high on the counter now, and knelt again, taking Ring's face in his hands. "Love. I want you to say it. I want you to say you love me." he stated, thumbs gently massaging Ring's lips. He wanted to hear it...so bad. That he was loved....something that made him truly feel.....like himself. "If you want to leave, I want you to say that. I love you Joseph." his eyes grew dark again, as he took a hand off Ring's face to grab the hammer by his side. "Even if its with my cock rammed down that mouth of yours. I want to hear it." he truly looked crazed now, staring down at Ring expectantly.

"Because I love you. And I want to hear that you love me. I don't care if you're with so many people...just tell me you love me!"

Solynx - Yesterday at 7:24 PM Ring slid further down the wall as Joseph's cold demeanour broke and he was grabbed. "No-- no, I didn't mean to say that. I'm not supposed to..." He grew quiet when Joseph started to rub his face. He was taking the bait. Ring's heart pounded in his chest as he listened to Joseph's request. This was a dangerous game he was playing. He did feel bad about tricking him like this, but more urgently, he wanted out of here. He wanted to run away. He was willing to do anything to get Joseph to soften and slip his guard, even if it meant messing with his heart.

"Joe, I-I can't. I'm not supposed to. Gabriel said we can't be together." His words were soft and breathless, laced with pain. He couldn't look Joseph in the eye as guilt rolled over his posture. "And Fia, I can't hurt her. She's so depressed, and... And you are too..." He bit his lip. Joseph was inevitably getting impatient. "And-- and I do. I love you, Joseph." His body shuddered as tears started to sprout in his eyes. "I love you so much... I didn't fix your eyes at first because I didn't want you to leave... And I love you, and I wanted to pretend like we could be together." He took in a shaking breath and started to cry. "But then Fia fucking trapped me and forced me to date her. I tried to say no and she wouldn't let me. And now I'm stuck with that and not you and I love you, Joseph."

Visa - Yesterday at 7:37 PM The priests eyes softened more, a gentle kiss placing itself on the other's forehead and cheeks. "Shhh....there there.....Fia is lost...just like me..." He muttered, then claiming Ring's lips for a moment before pulling away. He looked a lot calmer now, yet that calmness was still laced with insanity. The smile on his lips looked just....cracked. Like it wasn't real. "I love you so much, Ring...so so much." he laughed, hands reaching up to clench around Ring's neck. "So so much...that I want to claim you. I want you to be mine....and no one else's." He stated, taking the leash off the wall and shoving Ring to the ground while still clenching onto his neck. He wasn't choking him per say, but was putting enough pressure to get the other to struggle.

"sometimes I don't know what to do with the things I love....it's become...so confusing, you know?" He stared blankly at Ring, now sitting on Ring's legs as the pressure started to build. "I wasn't going to kill Ryder...far from that. I love Ryder...he's my cute little brother after all...."

Solynx - Yesterday at 7:49 PM Ring had leaned into the kiss with desperation, only for Joseph to pull back as soon as he started it. Ring was left leaning forward with his eyes flicking over Joseph's face. It was hard to read what Joseph was going to do. He didn't seem to know himself. Ring started to raise a hand to grasp Joseph's arm, but it dropped and came to his own neck as he was seized. He could still breathe, but in an instant, Joseph could clench down and start making him choke. He didn't want to go unconscious. He didn't want to imagine what Joseph would do to him while he was out.

He didn't resist the shove onto the ground. The concrete hurt on impact with his skull and he let out a soft grunt of pain, but didn't let his focus leave Joseph. He had to figure out what Joseph was going to do. He could start hitting and hurting him at any moment, deciding he had enough of Ring's words. But thankfully, he seemed to just keep wanting to talk for now.

Bringing up Ryder made him pause and think back to himself. The look in Joseph's eyes when he talked about Ryder was uncomfortably familiar. "Are you... attracted to Ryder? Not that I can judge," he said, judging. "I was the same with my brother. I couldn't help myself around him. He was too cute and emotional..."

Visa - Yesterday at 8:01 PM Joseph's emotionless gaze didn't break, but he did look away from Ring's gaze on him. The pressure he had on his neck ceased a bit, but Joseph's knee pressed hard against Ring's thigh before he grabbed the cattle brander. "How would this feel on your tongue, I wonder." he stated, not answering Ring's question as his thumb pressed against his throat. "How dare you think I would think that way about him? He's nothing but a trouble maker....I merely want to see him pure again. Like when he was younger."

Though the pause in his stature and unsure nature was fairly obvious, indicating that he was lying. Yes it was true, Ryder was something of a taboo thought of his. How innocent he was before that bitch corrupted him. "I want him to be....I want him to listen to me again...like he used to do."

Solynx - Yesterday at 8:10 PM Ring's mouth clamped shut when Joseph grabbed the brander and he struggled a bit, but couldn't move far with how he was being held down. It just hurt to try and move. More tears sprung up in his eyes, but genuine ones this time. He didn't want that thing in his mouth. He didn't want to be here. His magic was taken from him and Joseph had a plethora of weapons while the most Ring had were his claws. He couldn't even fly well with his wings still injured.

"I'm sorry," he finally whimpered. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just thought-- You know, maybe it was something we had in common. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything." Despite the pain that came with it, he tried to move again, trying to get away from the cattle poker. Joseph's knee was only digging harder into him. "I won't say anything else."

Visa - Yesterday at 8:18 PM "Oh you will, trust me." he stated, chuckling as Ring tried to squirm away. "Open your mouth. I know you said you always like sucking dick, right? Think of this like a hot dick then." he hummed, putting the cattle brander closer to his lips. "Open your fucking mouth." he demanded, letting go of his hold on Ring and putting another knee on Ring's other thigh as he reached for the nail gun again. He let the nail run down Ring's body, then stop directly above his dick as he still pointed the cattle brander at his mouth.

"Which one? Your choice, Ring."

Solynx - Yesterday at 8:25 PM Once again, Ring had shut his mouth, intended to just listen to whatever Joseph had to say about his obsession with Ryder. Instead, he found the cattle brander put close to his mouth. He could feel the heat radiating off of it, making the burn on his cheek hurt even more. His lip quivered at Joseph's demand to open his mouth. He did not want that in his mouth. He certainly didn't want to suck on it. His jaw clenched tighter shut.

Then the nail gun was brought down his chest and to his groin. He let out another whimper. He didn't want that, either. It'd probably hurt less, but if he went with the nail gun, he'd scream and Joseph would just put the poker in his mouth anyway. He looked into Joseph's eyes, trying to make sense of what he saw through his tears. He couldn't stop shaking. His blood was racing through him, his heart hurting from the anxiety. Slowly, reluctantly, he released his jaw and parted his lips so the poker could be shoved in.

Visa - Yesterday at 8:32 PM "Good boy." He chuckled, sliding the hot poker in the others mouth as he started moving it up and down. The priest looked like he was enjoying it himself, seeing Ring's tearful gaze up at him. He could see the inside of Ring's mouth, the red hot iron lighting up the inside of Ring's mouth. "Good boy....good boy...." he seemed to be saying this more to empty air than anything, getting more excited as he started thrusting the brander more fervently.

Joseph's eyes seemed to light up with malice as he then moved the cattle brander out of Ring's mouth, lifting him up by the throat and pinning him to the barn doors. "Do you know how badly I want to fuck you, right now? Huh?" he hummed, letting his nail gun then brush against Ring's wings.

Solynx - Yesterday at 8:55 PM The poker touched Ring's mouth, and he gagged and tried to jerk away. The burn was immediate and painful. The rest of his mouth was heating up from the warmth that radiated off of the poker. That one small touch hurt, yet Joseph shoved it deeper into his mouth and against his tongue. A scream ripped out of his throat and he thrashed from it. He couldn't even pretend to entertain the idea of sucking it off. His mouth was being set aflame. Blood and char overwhelmed what was left of his taste buds, and his eyes squeezed shut as he choked and cried harder. He thought it might cool after a minute, but it didn't. It just kept burning and tearing him apart. He only screamed louder as Joseph thrusted it through him, searing every bit of his mouth. What saliva he had drooled out from the side of his mouth as his body tried to fight the brander, but it was to no avail. His vision grew spots from pain.

Then, it stopped. His mouth was still in hideous pain, but the poker was pulled out. Layers of flesh from the inside of his mouth and his lips clung to it. He didn't notice. He was still crying and screaming out of agony. He hadn't imagined his comment would've pissed Joseph off this bad. He was trying to relate to him and get him to calm down. He definitely wasn't talking now, though.

It was all too easy to grab him and shove him against the barn wall. He was shaking and weak from the brander. He was having a hard time seeing. He didn't have it in him to resist much. Yet, when Joseph spoke, Ring furiously shook his head. "Dohn! Pleah...!" he cried out as best as he could through his ruined mouth. His words were airy and unclear. "Ah sah-eh!" He hiccuped for a breath and tried to push Joseph away, his wings tucking behind him quickly. "Dohn!"

Visa - Yesterday at 9:06 PM Joseph growled, undoing Ring's pants and shoving them down, running the nail gun slowly up the others thigh. "Aw~ stop? Don't? C'mon now, Ring!" He chuckled, then biting down hard on Ring's shoulder. The man still held Ring by the throat, unbuttoning his own pants before sighing in annoyance. "Just a sec." He stated, then forcing Ring's wing and hand up. Without a thought, he nailed them both on the barn door, kissing his cheek before roughly shoving himself inside Ring.

Solynx - Yesterday at 9:25 PM Ring continued to beg incoherently as Joseph started to grab at his pants. He even tried to reach a hand down and smack him away, but he didn't have the strength to. His claws grazed Joseph's skin and his hand slapped uselessly. When his underwear came down though, he truly started to panic.

"No-- No!" he screamed. He couldn't cast spells with his mouth ruined, but he wasn't going to roll over. Even with a hand around his throat, Ring lashed out, trying to knee and kick at Joseph. Adrenaline powered him up and gave him a strange moment of clarity. He didn't want this. He raised his free hand and jabbed his claws forward, trying to puncture Joseph and get him off. They tore into the side of Joseph's face and into his right eye, and Ring ripped down, shredding skin and the eye open.

For his efforts, Joseph had grabbed his hand and one of his wings and slammed them against the barn door. Ring didn't stop screaming. His throat would go raw if he didn't, but he couldn't care less. A nail jammed through his hand and wing and blood welled up around the edges of the wound. Ring only screamed louder. The pain of it shot through his bones and right into his brain. Screw his throat, then. Ring tried lashing out with his other hand, once again getting Joseph in the face but this time missing the eye. As he did, he screeched out another, "No!"

It meant nothing. Joseph was still able to grab him and spread his legs. He was still able to push into Ring, tearing up his ass and causing his body to shake with his howl of pain. It hurt somehow worse than everything else, and he choked on his own blood and spit and fear.

Visa - Yesterday at 10:52 PM Joseph grimaced at the wound his eye and face had gotten, groaning at how tight Ring was. God, this felt good....even with Ring screaming in pain as he started to move. His hand tightened on Ring's throat as he pounded into the screaming man, panting harshly as his body started to ignore the pain on his eye and focused on his pleasure. He bit into Ring, feeling his stomach burn as he started to roughly jerk off the other man.

"Ring....Ring...god I fucking love you...!" He moaned, only able to let one eye settle on the crying man.

Solynx - Yesterday at 11:20 PM The hand that grasped Ring's throat managed to silence his screams as it crushed him. He grabbed at it as he wheezed for air, trying to pull it off. Just enough to breathe. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to be here. His legs flailed uselessly, trying to kick Joseph off. Joseph fucked him harder in response, ripping him open more and drawing further blood. His legs went still from the pain and force of it all. Ring was tensed from fear and agony, but the blood slicked Joseph's cock the more he went and made it easier to violate him.

Ring managed to finally wedge a finger between his throat and Joseph's hand, giving him just enough space to suck in a deep breath. He didn't scream again, though. He just cried from his chest. Tears and blood wouldn't stop dripping from his face and making a mess on Joseph.

He whispered something between his wailing. It was hard to speak when all he wanted to do was curl up and bawl. He took in another unsteady breath, and sobbed out, "Why? Why? Sah-hah!" He sputtered on his next breath as Ring was continually rammed against the wall, one particular one making him hit his head. The finger he had letting him breathe jerked and sliced into his neck. Blood soon began to drool out of the cut. He went back to crying and nonsensical begging for Joseph to stop.

It hurt. It hurt so bad. His mind was spinning and it was getting harder to fight Joseph. He could barely keep himself from sliding down, mostly anchored by his pinned wing and hand. The more he was fucked, the more he went limp as his body and mind were shredded. He almost even fell quiet of his words, until Joseph grabbed at Ring's cock and began to pleasure him. Ring was ignited with new life and tried moving his foot to kick Joseph away, but the most he did was loosely rub his foot against Joseph's leg. He didn't want this. He didn't like this. He felt disgusted and betrayed and his cock hardened under the incessant stroking anyway. Ring felt that, and his body heaved and vomited over Joseph's shoulder.

Visa - Yesterday at 11:38 PM Joseph let out a rather evil cackle, patting the male as he threw up over his shoulder. "Can't handle it, huh?" He panted, grabbing the cattle brander and ramming it down on Ring's leg, licking his lips a the meat on the leg seemed to melt away . Keeping it there for a bit, he let a hole sear into the other man , pulling it away to reveal a rather nasty looking hole. He was close, real fucking close. Pinning the other against the barn door again, he forced a kiss, running his tongue over Ring's teeth as he felt his orgasm burn. He wanted to claim him, and the way to do that was to cum in him. At least that's what he wanted to do, until everything faded to black.

Ryder had been waiting for Ring for a while now, still shaking as he sat in his car. Something was wrong, this was too long. Too long to wait for Ring to come back out. Grimacing, he got out of his car, having to get past the dog that had insisted he stay. Hearing Ring's screams of pain, his eyes widened, running over to the barn and seeing....oh god. The sight of Ring being violated by his brother was enough to shock the young man into freezing, but not long as he quietly made his way to the other side of the barn to come in. Ryder had grabbed a bat, using the other door to come in. He raised the bat, then swinging it over Joseph's head. The man tumbled back, staring at Ryder in shock before falling to the ground. Ryder in his fit of rage and tears proceeded to bash the man's skull in, shivering after the fact and dropping the bat. He looked at Ring, eyes wide as he rushed to grab some nail removers from the tools. "H-Hold on, Ring! I gotcha!"

Solynx - Today at 12:05 AM Vomiting was the final straw for Ring. His head fell onto Joseph's shoulder and he stopped resisting. This is what was happening. He was being pinned against a wall by Joseph and raped. Joseph was truly well and crazy, completely unsalvageable, and he'd decided to take it out on Ring. He was now Michael, but this time, there was no angel to save him. It was just his fate until he ended up dying by Joseph's supposedly loving hands. The way he went limp probably seemed like acceptance or enjoyment to Joseph, though anyone else would see a broken and beaten man.

He stopped begging and pleading, the only sounds out of him now being his weeping. The brander was grabbed and stabbed into him. It hurt and he screamed again, but he didn't thrash. He jerked a bit, but didn't do anything further. It melted away his skin and dug in deep. The heat and pain spread through his thigh, but soon became noise in the torrent of other trauma. His head was rolled back suddenly and he was forced to look into Joseph's eyes. They were filled with lust and dominance. Ring sniveled in response and sat there as Joseph pressed their lips together. Ring couldn't kiss back if he wanted. He was tired and every part of his face hurt from contorting. He just let it happen and waited for Joseph to cum.

Instead, everything stopped. Joseph suddenly fell back and stopped holding Ring. Ring fell to the ground on his knees. The webbing of his wings ripped open from the strain of the nail and snapped away, leaving just his hand pinned. His wing drooped around him. Blood gushed out onto him and the floor. He barely even noticed. All he did was sink further, letting his arm stretch as it tried to support his entire weight.

He looked up a bit, wondering if Joseph was about to take his mouth. Joseph's brains were on the ground. That was weird. He let his head roll back. He couldn't support it well. But the angle change allowed him to notice Ryder running around. He'd told Ryder to run. The man was a fool for staying around - he could've been caught again. Still, he was here, so Ring raised his free hand and slapped it in the direction of the workbench.

"Neh-leh," he slurred out. "Hewahs..." He made a grabbing hand motion. He needed that necklace. If he wanted to live, he needed its power. He just hoped Ryder would notice the out of place item.

Visa - Today at 12:18 AM Ryder blinked then noticed where the other was grabbing near. The necklace. He remembered that always stayed with Ring. "Necklace." he stated, nodding then running to grab it. Carefully, he put it in Ring's free hand, meanwhile pulling the nail out of Ring's hand. He grimaced at the sight of the other, then grabbing his own jacket and putting it around the other's shoulders. "It's gonna be ok..." he muttered, noting Joseph's corpse starting to reform. Grimacing, he gently scooped up Ring, his own side hurting from the kicks that Joseph had given him. He ignored them though, grabbing the keys to Ring's car and turning it on.

He felt horrible, driving out of their childhood home and driving.....anywhere really. He didn't know where to go and honestly, he was so scared. But Ring was the most important person to deal with right now. Letting out a shaky breath, he grabbed his phone, calling someone and waiting. "Come on, Angela....don't be a bitch right now..." he muttered, cursing and rummaging in his own pocket for a wallet.

Solynx - Today at 12:41 AM Ring took the necklace in his hand and pulled it close to his chest. He would have sighed in relief if he wasn't still wheezing and crying from everything that happened. The thought of them being anywhere but with him was terrifying. He at least knew the power and importance they had and could respect it. More than one person came to mind who would love to abuse it, though. With a shaking hand, he put it back around his neck. It felt safe there.

He looked up at Joseph whose cracked skull was starting to reform. Ryder pulled the nail out of Ring's other hand, and Ring slumped forward. He landed next to Joseph. He reached a hand out and slapped it onto Joseph's thigh. The blue stone on the necklace glowed for a few moments, then stopped. Ring didn't have enough energy for high magic. But still, he wanted to give Joseph a parting gift - a sample of Ring's eternal life, 1% of his collective of memories. Joseph would awaken to 63,905,271 lifetimes in his head, all plucked at random from Ring's mind. He could have fun with a taste of forever. Maybe he'd start changing his mind. Or have an identity crisis, since all of those were of Ring's life and would drown out Joseph's self.

He dragged his hand away and let himself rest on the ground. He couldn't and didn't want to move much. He didn't fight Ryder when he was picked up, but he was no better than 155 lbs of dead weight. As he was brought to his car, he mumbled out, "Home... Fia," in a breathy voice. He just wanted to lay in his bed in her arms. He didn't want to go to a hospital. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want people fussing over him. He wanted to lay still and be comfortable and safe.

He was put in the back seat of his car, and would have frowned if he could've. He didn't want to bleed all over his car. It was annoying to clean out of cloth. That's why he didn't carpet his basement at all. At the very least, the blood loss made it impossible to hold a boner. His pants were still at his knees, but he didn't have to carry that particular shame anymore. He stared at the backs of the front seats while Ryder did something. It was hard to make out what. He was still crying and making a lot of noise. His own screaming echoed in his head.

Visa - Today at 12:50 AM Ryder nodded, then moving his hand to grab his phone again. "What's her number?" He asked, finding his wallet and searching through to find some money. Thank god at least he didn't take any of the photos in here. As he waited for a response, he started driving over to the house, putting his wallet in his mouth and grabbing what looked like a rosary and putting it over Ring's neck when a stop was made. "I know you don't want to see anything pertaining to god right now, but trust me, that'll help you." he muttered, not looking directly at Ring as he continued to drive.

Though a certain thing would tickle Ring's nose a bit, followed by a gentle hand on his head. "You look worse for wear. I'm sorry this happened to you." A voice came, smooth as silk. Gabriel was in the other seat, looking sympathetic as his eyes then drifted to Ryder. "He can't hear me. But I wanted to tell you this.....what Joseph did was an atrocity. Something that was worth sending him straight to hell for." The angel frowned, then plucking a feather out of his own wing. "I know its not much...but consider yourself under our protection until we get Michael and Joseph under control."

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