#idk why only half of him would be albino tho | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

silverechosandblankmasks · 3 years

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Dream SMP Species headcanons!

The kind of Species I make the dsmp people in aus, some have multiple I tend to switch between! :D (more info about hybrid types at the bottom) Dream- Nothing but a human with a god complex (Tho sometimes Dream currently is not in his body, and a Dreamon is wearing him like a cheap suit)

DreamXD- He’s a god of the server that took a similar shape to Dream, and is tied in with Dream’s admin powers. Exactly what or who he is is unclear but he’s… there.

Sapnap- Half Demon, some kinda fire or nether related mob hybrid, sometimes a Blaze!

George- Brown Mooshroom hybrid! Sometimes either a witch hybrid or a nymph as well

Awesamdude- Creeper Hybrid

Sam Nook- It's actually just Sam, the mask he wears malfunctioned when he started to work with Tommy and it was both so hilarious and brought Tommy such joy, it became a bit between them. Nowadays it's like, an unspoken thing they don't acknowledge the fact they both know it's Sam. It's a way for them to pretend everything is okay and for Sam to ignore his guilt over his actions while he ‘looks’ after Tommy :)

Ponk- Human

BadBoyHalo- Demon

TommyInnit- Latent hyrbid. Normally some kind of Bird Hybrid of some kind (going between some kind of normal bird of prey not chosen as of now, a Thunderbird, or Phoenix!) But I'm also very fond of Fox, Wolf, and Ferret hybrid Tommy too!

Tubbo- Ram hybrid, though Bee hybrid is very cute too!

Fundy- Fox shifter and half nature spirit/demigod (depending on what Sally was!), which is why he aged so strangely.

Punz- Human

Purpled- Human

Wilbur Soot- Human! Though iv made him a fish/mer/siren hybrid before but i think fox or even a wolf hybrid would fit too

Jschlatt- Ram Hybrid Shifter (his full form is his little Ram dude. His hair color is actually naturally white like Puffy’s but he dyes it brown, when it grows out it makes it look like he has silver hairs)

Skeppy- Diamond hybrid (I imagine he’s some kinda like, diamond gemling or golem? Idk lol)

Eret- He’s either a reincarnation of Herobrine, a descendent/child of Herobrine, or a Herobrine hybrid (making herobrine a race sounds fun), also wither hybrid is neat!

Jack Manifold- Human/Demon? (after his death?)

Nihachu- Human!

Quackity- Duck hybrid (though, iv saw a very cool hc where he can shape shift via magic magical masks and I am looking)

Karl Jacobs- Human

HBomb94- Human

Technoblade- Piglin Brute hybrid Shifter, the brute part is one of the reasons he’s so violent.

Antfrost- Cat hybrid (shifter? perhaps!)

Philza- Bird Hybrid, specifically a Eurasian Hobby (but Crow philza is pog too!), Semi-god of Death/Death god’s champion

ConnorEatsPants-?̸̠̘̯̠̥̙̘͈̽̽̽͆̓̈̏̉ͅw̸̱̟̱̅ĥ̸̯͕̞̬͌̉͒͝͝ͅa̸͚̲̋̇̈́̒̏͆̃͠t̸̳̀̊̐̌͂̾͑ ̷̯̒̈̈́̀͐̑̅ĭ̵̩̻̭̯͍̓̿̿̊̚ṡ̴̥̠̹̩͖̋ ̴̜̙̈̑̽́̚ḥ̶̡̖̙̗͖̝͑̍͋̎͊́͘ė̴͕̟̩̰̝͕͔͍̫̽͊͒̋͊̎͌?̷̱̗͕͓̠̳̼̘̂̄

CaptainPuffy- Sheep Hybrid

Ranboo- So Ranboo, for me, is a human, enderman, AND shulker hybrid! (50% Human, 33.3% Enderman, and 16.7% Shulker.) and because percentage doesn't really matter to how much someone presents or looks like their hybrid, that's why he looks so enderman and barely any shulker traits are shown. (Also fun fact, Ranboo’s human side is albino!)

Foolish Gamers- Was a Shark and Totem Hybrid (the Totem part was because of a family curse he suffered before being turned into a Semi-God of the Ocean) (note, is not a god of death, or life, he’s only sensitive to rebirth and resurrection because of his Totem-ness)

HannahxxRose- Rose Nymph

Slimecicle- Slime Hybrid ~ Latent Hybrids are mob Hybrids who’s hybrid genes are suppressed and dont show ANY SIGN of being a hybrid whatsoever unless a either very stressful or life threatening thing happens, so their body unlocks and unsuppressed the genes in an attempt to survive. This causes the player to rapidly grow said attributes of their hybrid side to match their actual age (so they wont have baby features like small ears or tails or wings when they are a full adult). Latent hybrids can go their entire lives not knowing they have the potential to be hybrids. Hybrid shifters are hybrids that, instead of being a physicals mix between their mob and other side (of which they can look like more then one or the other, or a perfect half and half), they are able to shift between the full mob form, full their other part (human or otherwise depending) and a form in-between (or even multiple in-between forms!). Hybrid Shifters are very rare. *note 1; mob hybrids include both animal mobs and monster mobs as well. *note 2; most hybrids are part human part mob, but other species (like demons, angles, vampires, sirens, orcs, ect ect) can also be part mob and thus hybrids as well.

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multiplefandomsblog · 3 years

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your roommate hcs are so cute, can i request for naib, demi, tracy, andrew, kurt, patricia, and victor?

:0 holy crap yes! I’m so glad you enjoyed the roommate hcs!! Me and the other mods hope you enjoy these! Thank you for requesting :))

(i added melly because why not? lmao hope you don’t mind.)

Part 1!

Naib Subedar

This man deadass didn’t know you were living with him

Even when people told him about it, he wasn’t rlly paying attention and didn’t rlly care

Your stuff in his room? He thought it was his or someone just broke into his room and left it there

When he saw you on the toilet however, he just freaked out.

“Why the hell are you shitting in my room!?” “Your room? I’ve been living here for 2 months!”

Once he found out you lived with him, he made sure you knew what was his and what was yours

also, since he’s very protective of his things-- you being one of them-- he would totally get jealous if he caught you tallking to someone that wasn’t him.

he would probably give you the silent treatment and act like a pissy baby

He hates it when you touch his stuff

especially his photos, the photos were special to him because they were of him and his army friends.

You’d sometimes catch him looking at the photos with a longing in his eyes, it was highkey sad.

having you live with him meant lots and lots of training

he made sure you were always prepared for matches and that you don’t get downed early

when you got downed early however, He would scold you but he would still rescue you anyways because he’s soft

“You’re such an idiot, you’d better do better next time! Or else I’ll kick your ass.”

one time he got cocky while kiting because you were watching him

he forgot to turn on his elbow pads and face palmed into the wall.

“...You saw nothing.” He turned around, a bit woozy from hitting his head on a wall. He flipped the hunter off before stumbling wooshing away

When you first get to know naib, he’d probably come off as intimidating and menacing

but once you get to know him--the real him--, you start to understand that even though he may be tough on you, its because he wants you to be the best

he has good intentions

During matches he’d let you handle yourself and made sure you didn’t rely on him too much

One time you needed to shower but you ran out of your shampoo so you used his.

When he questioned you, you simply responded “What? You don’t need it anyways, you’re bald!”

He didn’t rescue you the next round.

should’ve seen that coming

though he forgives you when you braid his luscious long existent hair for him

Kurt Frank

The amount of times you almost stepped on this man is astronomical.

he would constantly be in his tiny form because he would lose a lot of his things

his tiny form helped him find his things easily

Though when you first moved in with him, you had no idea what his ability was

so when you first saw a tiny version of your roommate you thought he was just a weird doll

until you heard him say a tiny, “Hey can you move your ginORMOUS foot? You’re stepping on my book.”

You fucking screeched and took off your shoe to try and kill him

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

After he explained to you about his ability you calmed down a bit and spared this tiny man but only this time!

Frank loves books, he probably filled your shared rooms with stacks on stacks of books

You’d often see him tiny, waving at you while you’re decoding

Once you overhead Kurt arguing with First Officer over who was the rightful owner of some sort of treasure map

They fought for days,

kurt would constantly complain about it to you

turns out it was just a game on the back of a Cereal box.

sorry this is short like kurt

Tracy Reznik

Would be a little awkward at first, but the awkwardness slowly fades away when you both make bad jokes

she gives me childhood best friend vibes

Has her doll sitting in the corner of your shared room room, it’s lifeless eyes scare the living shit out of you in the dark you try not to make eye contact, afraid it’ll curse you or smth

if she was mad at you she would move the bot in a way that looked like it was flipping you off you off in your direction before you went to bed.

Always making little robot things that are super fun to play with

Loves sharing her things. Has no problem with it

you wanna wear her clothes? sure

you want to wear her underwear? evEN BETTER-

Pulling all nighters, trying to get her machines to work like how she wanted it to work.

Would live off of kraft Mac n cheese and junk food in the modern day

Pretty hyper, chugs pink monster energy drinks while pulling all nighters, also, in the modern day

would probably be a bruh girl

Her room is a mess, covered with blueprints and scrap metal

her room is practically a safety hazard

Sometimes she dresses her doll up a bit, putting wigs or her old clothes on it (which scares you half to death)

Once she made her doll dress up like her

and you almost went up to it to ask what it wanted for dinner.

Has a photo of her and her dad

You never wanted to bring it up, worried it might make her upset :(

Sometimes she’d feel really guilty about being downed in the first 30 seconds

please comfort her, she feels super bad

She always relies on you to rescue her

She gets really happy and thankful when you body block for her but she still gets a bit concerned when you do it randomly

“i wasn’t even kiting-” “Protecc the mecc.”

Demi Bourbon

Always out at the bar

Smells like alcohol constantly

tipsy 24/7

she’s never 100% sober

You have to hold her hair out of her face when she comes back to your shared room to hurl

Likes bringing back hard vodka or weird flavoured alcohols back for you guys to get wasted try together

Room is bit cluttered, but she doesn’t have much in her room since she’s always out in bars or matches

Usually latches onto you like a parasite when she’s drunk.

it gets a bit awkward when her face is a bit close to yours,

“Are we about to kiss right now-? BLeurghgrhgherrgh.”“...*audible sigh*”

You’d go to her expecting her to heal you like a normal person but no

instead she shoves dovlin down your throat

She likes to do your makeup, and always adds a matching beauty mark

unless you don’t wear makeup, then she’d ask you to do hers

always loves how she looks afterwards

more than sometimes demi would get into bar fights,

so you know she’s about to throw hands when she starts takes off her earrings-

10/10 would fight for you <3

She’s gives me cool wine aunt vibes

Probably a lesbian too (check out our Demi smut fic ;))

Or bi, idk

Just straightn’t

She’s really good at hyping you up, especially when you’re taking shots

“CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG-”

Andrew Kreiss

Would be very shy at first, opens up a little when you get to know him

Totally a night owl, can’t sleep at night from all the guilt and “what if’”s

if you see this baby awake at night, hug him, he really needs it

You’ve never seen the other side of his face

How does he see with hair in his eyes?

He’s albino, which is super dope

Sometime you fear he’s thinking about burying you

You always see him thwacking Luca with his shovel

Barely talks

Room is moderate

He doesn’t want you to find out too much about him

He may seem bland, but he loves sweet food

You’d bake him cookies and other sweets

He’d act as if he’s not embarrassed and brush it off

“Are you blushing?”“No, I-I’m sunburnt.” “On your face?” “....I stare into the hot red sun sometimes because it eases me.”

to keep his lie going, every time he catches you staring at him he would fry his eye balls by staring into the sun until you left

partially the reason why he can’t see well

When he’s not looking, you stare at him while he’s eating the stuff you made because he looks so happy :’)

One time you found him down in the dumps so you made him a cup of coffee, and when you handed it to him you said-

“Depresso espresso?”

*sniff* ”..are you oka-” “IM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE”

he actually cried

it was such a nice gesture(?), that he started ugly crying

You’d ask him if he wanted hugs during matches when you see him get stressed

He’d be flushed and kinda confused

hug... him? why tho lmao

he’d definitely agree tho, to be fair, with some hesitation

if y’all ever cuddled in bed, i feel like he’d be a little spoon

poor boy needs the comfort, he wouldn’t mind if you wanted to be little spoon tho

he just wants to be close to you

Victor Grantz

You love playing with his dog, Wick

Super nice and polite, but a little guarded

The type to be too afraid to call people out when they do something wrong but would totally trash them in his head

You write him little letters everyday and leave them on his bed to make him happy :))

He’d a be a little spoon

Wick would always join you guys while cuddling

Kisses would be soft and gentle

Usually sends you the first letter in matches

Loves to cuddle

He bb 🥰

You always get him a birthday present AND a Christmas present

You also get a gift for Wick

He loves giving you surprise hugs

Likes to read with you while cuddling

Literally a cinnamon roll

Once he was eating a cinnamon roll

And you whispered

“C a n n i b a l i s m .”

He was very confused

and kind of scared- were you going to eat him?

Patricia Dorval

Room always smells like herbs

She could literally smoke weed and you’d think it’s some magical healing herb

it magically makes you feel better

Always there to stun the hunter when you’re ballooned

The mature one

Her room is organized, with boxes labeling what herbs and magic stuff that are in them

You were cooking dinner for the day and you accidentally used one of her fancy herbs in your soup

She didn’t realize until she tried the soup

She wasn’t mad just disappointed

She lectured you on how you shouldn’t touch her stuff or use it for cooking

Gotta admit tho, the soup was pretty good

she acts like the mom everyone wishes they had

totally the type to be like, “dude we should think this through.” before doing something risky

and then five seconds later, “cowABUNGA MY DUDES”

one time she caught kreacher leaving the mens washroom without washing his hands

seeing as she was the mother of this manor, she had to protect her children from diseases

so she yeeted her monkey skull at kreachers head, cleanly knocking him out

and everybody cheered.

Melly Plinius

When you heard melly was going to be your roomie, you couldn’t have been more excited.

you finally had a victim for the many insect pick up lines!

So you decided to make some good first impressions by waiting for her in your room.

so when she arrived to your room and greeted you, you happily greeted her back, and slipped in the pick up line.

“Hello, my name is Melly. I believe I will be your ro-?”“Yeah nice to meet you too, say, what do bees make?”

She kinda thought you were a bit rude so much for first impressions

“...Erm, honey?” she replied hesitantly

“YES DEAR?”

... okay maybe you weren’t thaaaat bad.

after that she kind of developed a teensy crush on you

so it was hard living with you because of her crush, since she was constantly flustered

you loved her reactions, she constantly got red.

it was funny watching her try to keep her cool and fail.

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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Yo that anon with the Bianca/Dency 👌🏻👌🏻 but like ohhh Dency coupd totally meet a cute Phoenix in her universe tho!! 👀 Or maybe a dark Witchlighter? Idk I think her falling I love with a more “neutral” witch hybrid would be cute!

And like do you think her little agency would work with neutral magical sources like phoenixes to find people? Because like Dency could be like a Penn but for the opposite side? If that makes sense?? Like Penn is bringing all the “light” witches together but Dency is really the figures head for the “dark/neutral” witches like the witch hybrids and the phoenixes…like Dency is kinda like the unintentional beacon of light for that side…just by being herself? Like maybe she doesn’t actively campaign for more acceptance for hybrid witches but her mere existence alone and the good she does is enough to get the ball rolling?

tbh as far as dency love interests go i'm a little bit torn because i have this mortal rashid idk if i've talked bout him before but like. he and dency have a classic rivals to lovers arc going on in college liek they fucking Hated each other blah blah blah she definintely gaslighted him a lil with her powers nothing malicious jsut like. teleportation like ha there's no way she'll beat me 2 the best spot in the library bc i just saw her walking up the steps while i am already inside and then boom he walks over there and she's there how?? the fuck>? teleporation fuck u. the point is thru their quasi spy vs spy antics i think they start to gain a sense of respect for one another than and he goes political journalism did this question even mention love interests idk That's Not The Point rashid does politics while dency's a bit more of a muckraker kinda more on a corporate side fraud and all that so they no longer are competitors and um. like they can finally appreciate the other as they are no longer and opponent as with most dency characters they have hooked up a couple times i shouldn't say that because as far as characters that have been introduced dency has slept with none of them bc they are all her besties u should never sleep w ur besties only ur homies but i think. i've stated this before? for starters dency doesn't do a lot of long term relationships just because you know that level of vulnerabilty and like if u really like someone then it's just leverage thatcan be used agianst u Or if u die then ur gonna break their heart but i think she does casual relationships with literally anyone but witches i. haven't posted the chaapter fuck i'll post it now because i've been sitting on it for so long and like i'm worried i'm gonna back myself in a corner w a it's not a plotline i don't like maybe just a plotpoint but i've like. written half the next chapter anyway. i'm also sitting on about 10k i think not only. 7k? unpublished w&s because it's like ending the narrative is ending i really need it to be coherent Speaking of incoherent. dency. i'm gonna post the chapter. but dency hangs out a lot at p3 which has changed hands piper owns her restaurants the backstory for this is.

paige has a charge back in the late aughts she's in a coven the point is her bestie has some traumatic incident happen to her and she wants revenge and it's something that (imo) totally justifies revenge like a killing her rapist type thing and like. it depends how we're going with charmed morality but i've established before i think (?) it's canon that if a witch takes an innocent's life she becomes a warlock like it's possible for witches to defect and become warlock if they take a life Specifically an innocent's life and even tho like that guy would be a mortal he def doesn't get innocent status because he's fucking evil she's allowed to murder him but i think she would murder someone else in the process and then causes her to lose her witch powers and gain a couple warlock powers and the rest of her coven shuns her for it which could have easily sent her down a dark path but paige's charge her bestie like stood by her thru all that like. like it's shit cosmic rules tbh. maybe. for legal reasons: i am not endorsing murder. please for the love of god don't make me admit to a grand jury i have a tumblr that'll be so cringe bro do not murder anyone. but paige's charge stands by her and idk maybe paige gets her a job at p3 all that the point is when piper sells the club to open her restaurant she sells it to paige's charge and her gf the warlock. so p3 kind of becomes a neutral power for magic no vanquishes allowed and it's one of the few places dark magic has on the surface just to vibe u just have to be able to tolerate being served by a witch like she owns the place so that kind of filters it. idk if this is more rambly than it normally is. i promise i'll go back in later and add periods. maybe. i am also a liar. but the point is i think p3 is one of the few places dency can really be hersefl because herself is half demon!! and at magic school she really is suppoed to feel ashamed of that like she hates it or something wishes it gone and Yes. it does scare her. being the source's heir all that. she's always worried about giving in to dark magic but like. she's a demon!!! there's no changing that there's no fighting that pushing it under the rug like. she can't change it she does want to spend her life hating herself like. it's who she is. fuck. so i think she doesn't date witches but like the regulars at p3 some warlocks the occasional like darklighter. dency has had romantic trysts with.

beck to rashid her mortal homies who she has hooked up with who they've always had this rapport they have this thing. bc rashid's smart okay that's why he's at dency's level (respectfully she gets her brains from her father i love phoebe but she's intuitive not intelligent cole on the other hand passed the bar exam (i think) so like.) rashid knows something's up. the point is they each give the other three questions. three questions you ask that the other has to answer fully honestly cards on the table no half truths nothing just the answer. rashid used one of those to find out dency's a witch, but she made him work for it. nothing vague like what are you strange things happen around you why like she's like ask your question but you better be specific about it and he's like fuck it. whatever. magic. that's my answer i think magic happens with you and no i'm not flirting i'm dead serious is magic like. are you magical? and the answer was yes. and rashid like while he was asking while he was like confident enough to admit that out loud to ask that to her face Did not see that coming. of course. there's a difference between like yes i can cast a couple spells and yes i'm the antichrist so. : )! but i think that's like a rapport thing between rashid and dency like whenever they ask hard hitting questions like "is that one of your three questions?" but idk if he's gonna. if he's gonna be it for her. there's also jack dency's childhood bestie so there's the childhood friends to lovers thing but like. i just don't see jack being in love with dency in that way like they're best friends. but not lovers. (but maybe they are??? idk)

But. third potential love interest is if i weren't goign for those two i was actually thinking.

two options here a cupid who reocgnizes dency as "the demon with the cupid ring? yeah that's gotta be the source's heir". so there's that i like the idea of. yeah. : )

but also. and i came up w this in an ask which i will not evne attempti to find. i'm sorry i can't spell you guys but it;s not happening 2nite beloeveds. but if u'vemade it this far. i do love u w my whole heart. dency. love interests. old ask about a squad a half-grimlock. appeal of being able to see auras see good people. this was originally in the ask. a love interest for billie?? maybe. idk. but just like. for dency someine who's always known htey have this immense dark side like. hmmmmmm okay i just thot of somehting. for lili. whish is phillipa. which is the prandy thirdborn. she's phsycics. however tf u spell that sykick. that's not the point dency who has. the source on her soul. falling with someone who can literally see the good in her. i'm picturing the half grimlock just ot like like a normal albino human. and they run a halfway house for those born of evil. because he or she or they idk>??? maybe neorponounds idk!!> whoever they r they run a halfway house for these kids born from demons warlocks darklighters bc they can see the good in them and that shouldn't. you get so scared gifted with these powers you don't understand they need a place to turn to. and the grimlock grimmy offers that place. def not their name but like. grimmy lmoa. ao. yeah. i think jsut opening i think integating magic schoolesp in a dency timeline what with penn and the elders and their pomp and circumstance i think it'd be a pain in the ass. but at the very least A magic school for kids wihtout light magic like they deserve it. evil shouldn't just be their default option. like they're just kids man they're jsut kids they deserve a shot at not even good man not everyone has to go on to be exceptional cure cancer and save the world just like. a chance to understand themselves not be scared. not be hated, jsut be/ like. do they not deserve that? so if grimmy's not a li for dency at the very least they are homies and they like pull together a magic school for neutral/dark beings.

#i don't know what this says!!!!#ahaha lmao #i'll read this later i hope this answers the question #i love u #charmed #dency halliwell #just like. do u guys know how much it fills my heart when u guys ask me this shit>#like #like like like like it's like. like these are/ i've said this before but liek these are just lil guys and they live in my head #but they live in your heads too!! and i'm like wow <3 like. like like when you're like how would dency warren sheridan penn dove anyone lik #like like i'm like wow.#i am from california if is was not obvius from how many times i used the word like to convey my feelinfs but like. wow 🥺♥#next gen #charmed next generation #💌

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cat-lover-300 · 5 years

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Things I overheard during track season.

These are all the dumb quotes from my time with the track team. I apologize in advance for the cursing and the overall dumbness.

“I will come to your house and steal all of your left shoes.”

“Y’all I just stabbed a worm” “WTF JIMMY.”

“I thought my mom left the house because she was going to get me food, but she came back with a whole new car. She was like ‘So, you you like it?’ And I was like ‘where’s the food tho?”

“She smell like some greasy ass lays.”

“In the weight room* LETS GET THIS BREAD” “AHHHHHHHHH”

“THATS NOT A FETISH.”

*Gets a tiny scratch on her leg* “GREAT, NOW I GOTTA GET MY LEG AMPUTATED.”

“Melissa’s dead.” “Well, aren’t you in an unfortunate predicament right now.”

“Y’all, if I don’t get crawfish within the next week, I am going to kill someone.”

“Do y’all remember when bass pro had a sonic? Times were so much easier back then.”

“Y’all make me wanna take a tall glass of vodka and down it”

“What are we doing here?” “I don’t know, why am I alive?”

“Oh my lord, they building him a hairline.”

“Are you ready for the meet?” “Gurl, I rolled out of bed 5 minutes ago.”

“I can’t get wifi, I live too far away.” “Then move bitch, chop chop.”

“My laundry detergent smells like beer.”

“I would throw my rice crispy at you, if I wasn’t gonna eat it.”

“Baby, honey, you so fuckin ugly.”

“How long is that book?” “Like, a half a donut.”

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I keep spraying perfume in my mouth.”

“I stole this FOR the school, y’all.”

“MOMO” “YEE YEE” (this happened on multiple occasions)

“Your eyes are so small you could use denim floss as a blindfold.”

“The older I get, the more I want Pringle’s.”

“O fuck.” “NO CUSSING” “YE YE BITCH”

“FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS” *on the phone quietly* “see I’m trying to give people good advice.”

“It stuck upside down bro” “what the fuck”

“The fuck is growing on that.” “Idk bro, aspestes.”

“Do you know geometry?” “Hell nah gurl” “ahhhhhhh shit.”

*climbing in a locker* “this is why you so damn slow.”

“OH MY GOD KEMIRA DIED.” “Nah fam she just went into that room.” “NO SHES DEAD.”

“FUCK YOUR TOE.” “FUCK your chicken strips” “you mother fucker.”

“You look like Bart Simpson.”

(In the distance) “OH SHIT.” *loud crash*

“Jeremy scared me.” “Is it because I’m black?” “BITCH IM BLACK TOO.”

“I really like this guy, he’s sweet and funny and just...” *glances down at messages* *looks back up* “Men are fucking disgusting and I hate all of them.”

“Hello Snapchat, I’m working hard, as usual.”

“SO YOU THE ONE USING ALL THE GLUE. BITCH.”

“If you hit me and I die, it’s okay.”

“They gonna bring some expensive liquor and shit, and I’m gonna be over here with wine in a bag.”

“Are those sonic shorts?”

“Boy why you walkin around like you on the country bayou.”

“Where my car keys at?” “The same place my chips went, bitch.” “YOU ATE THEM?”

“Are we doing any athletic activities today? Because I’m seriously debating putting on my crocs.”

“Pee now or forever hold your piss.”

“One time my brother got his truck stuck in the mud, so I had to get the lawnmower to pull him out.”

“I’ve never seen an ugly Mexican baby”

“if you were a stripper, people would only throw Monopoly money at you.”

“Your ass gonna reincarnate as a roach.”

“TURN THAT GRASS SHIT OFF.” “THATS CRICKETS DUMBASS.”

*pulls a family size bag of chips out of his pocket* *another kid stares* “I ain’t sharing bitch.”

“Yeah you was sniffing markers in your sleep, you may be a little bit high.”

“If I die by chocolate cake, I will consider my life a success.”

“Y’all know me, I can do my who-ra’s from Facebook.” “That was the lamest sentence I have ever heard.”

“I wanna be albino” “The fuck”

“We a ghetto-smart school, bitch. We won’t hesitate to kick your ass in the parking lot and win the literary rally.”

“First of all, they done sat up here and gave me a t-Rex foot.”

“Man, I need to stop doing crack, I keep seeing stuff.”

“Let me get on your neck” “No gurl, this ain’t basketball season”

"My farts smell like them flowers... From the angel garden... From that, damn, what's that called?" "The garden of Eden?" "yas, that bitch."

"Thats why I don't go in the sun. I'm already Black as hell, I ain't trying to be a wakandan color."

#funny #track #sports #hilarious #funny quotes

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