#idk why posting this is making me feel so nervous

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Wibta if I told my mom she loves a cat more than her own children.

I do feel like an asshole for this. I’m 17f and I have a younger sister 15F. My parents are married and for the most part good. When have a 12 year old cat that my mom just adores.

This part is all speculation, but when I very young like I was 5 or something my mom had an event that changed a lot. She stayed with her parents and would visits us. My grandparents would help out and no one really ever explained what happened to her but she lived there for like a year, she did move back in with us. My dad got her a cat to cope while she was away. The speculation is she had really bad post partum depression and had a break down. The reason I believe this/and this is my own theory, was when I was struggling mentally, my mom encouraged me to go to a therapist and they asked family history and she said she had struggled with depression/episodes and had tried medication but never stayed on. She just said when she was younger she had a hard time regulating emotions, and she wants me to worry about me and my own emotions. The post patrum comes from the fact that I asked my dad why did you two have kids and he admitted he wanted kids and my mom was more on the fence. I also find it weird she gets really nervous around Mother’s Day and will often try to not celebrate. (She always says she could be a better mom)

My mom is a good mom don’t get me wrong. She’s always encouraged my sister and I to try and do our hobbies. She’ll drive us where we gotta go. I know she works overtime when she wants to make sure we can do stuff for the family. It’s just sometimes, she seems more like a distant mom. She’ll listen to us, do anything asked, but idk how to put it into words.

But she really loves this cat. And I do love our cat too, but this cat and my mom are bonded. The second my mom comes home and the cat greets her and my mom picks her up and kisses her. She calls the cat her pretty princess and a hundred other nicknames. She calls me my dad and sister honey, bunny, and sunny. I know the cat actually makes my mom happy. Her eyes light up when she sees the cat. I know she looks forward to coming home to the cat. When we go on vacations she’ll miss the cat, or if she goes on a work trip she’ll always ask for pictures of the cat or ask to see the cat on FaceTime. She throws a small birthday party for the cat every year and makes a cake. For our birthdays she’ll ask what we want and sometimes she resorts to store bought desserts.

So this is where it gets bad. Our cat is now sick and probably has a year left to live. The vet told my mom she’s a good cat owner and has always done right for her, but with her age, treatment isn’t really the route because it’s not gonna prevent death, so just focus on making the cat happy and comfortable (this vet appointment was her 6 month check up.) My mom hasn’t been doing well mentally. She’s always struggled with mental health. She just seems to have a shakey mind at times if that makes sense. She very much before would hide her struggles, but we knew she’d have them. Before she would like stand still just gripping the counter with one hand. Now my mom is definetly depressed. She will come home be greeted by the cat, and go to her room and cry with the cat. She’s been just not happy.

My sister and I kinda decided to see if telling her we got good grades would cheer her up, and she’ll say good job and will sometimes offer to cook something or get something for us, but her eyes are just like very tired. (There is also an app she can use to check out grades but she never once used it and will just take our word face value) We’ve talked to my dad about this and he basically said that our mom has always loved animals (she use to work with her grandpa at a pet store he owned, but apparently her grandpa wasn’t a good person to most people in the family except her, so that was hard on her). I asked my dad what he thinks and says it’s normal for someone to be sad about this and that he’s gonna work hard or make sure we get all our needs handled. Which is nice, but I kinda wish it was my mom. I don’t feel dire need of anything, I’m just annoyed/jealous a cat can destroy my mom mentally.

My mom has gone over load for the cat. She cooks for her, makes her dinner buys the best food and mixes then. She often cries while cooking, and asks the cat if she likes the food.The cat doesn’t even know what’s happening.

I was looking at prom dresses online and asked my mom to look with me and she was just out of it. She would just say she’d like one or she’s not a fan but don’t let that discourage me. She’s just kinda lifeless. I try talking to her about it and she’ll aplogize and says she’ll get better. (It’s been like a week)

It boiled over when my mom’s sisters came over. (She’s the youngest. One sister has kids and one doesn’t) My mom tried to be happy and perky but ended up crying about the cat. Her sisters kinda said that she’s gotta be strong for her family and my mom just cried saying everything’s gonna be so much harder without the cat. I wasn’t in the room, they were in the basement, and there’s a vent where you can hear everything down there. My sister and I do easedrop to see what they say (her sisters are loud but we can never hear what my mom is saying without the vent. Normally we do it because my mom is a more different interesting person and again we don’t know our mom well. Away from us she kinda puts down the facade and actually talks). I was just angry. Her life isn’t hard. We’re middle class, if she wants to go to therepy she can afford it. We all deal with grief and loss. Yes I’m gonna be sad when our cat passes, but she is an older cat. I don’t imagine my life becoming “harder” other than my mom being depressed, but she is an adult who will heal from this.

After her sisters left and she was doing her night routine, I asked her if she loves the cat more than my sister and I. She said that’s not true and if she could do something more for my sister and I please name it. I told her that that’s the problem is that she does stuff for the cat without thinking, but for us it’s all asking us and she’s the adult she should know. She’s said she’s not a mind reader and she’s gonna rely on the information I give her to help me out where she can. I went to my room because ovbiosuly that conversation wasn’t going anywhere. I feel like my mom understands a cat more than her own daughter.

My dad came in a little while after and we talked. He assured me my mom loves me and this cat has been like an emotional support animal through the years. He mentioned my one friend who has an emotional support dog and compared them and told me that the cat has helped my mom emotionally with emotional regulation and just helps her steady herself. I asked if we were enough, or if my mom regrets having a family and she would just be happier if she just left us for the cat and lived by herself. My dad told me she loves all of us, but depression can be hard to navigate. I asked him about how he wanted us more than our mom and he just said that he was more excited, but my mom wouldn’t have had us unless she wanted us (which I don’t think is totally true.)

I went into my parents room and my mom was there with the cat. Again going to the cat for comfort. I told her I was sorry for saying she loved the cat more than us and she apologized for how her treatment towards the cat can seem that way and if I ever need anything please ask. It made me mad because she again is relying on me to know what’s wrong/ or ask, instead of her just idk taking initiative. I didn’t say that.

I get people can be mentally ill, but she’s also my mom. I do feel bad about telling my mom she loves a cat more than me, but I also don’t feel too reassured.

#aita #am i the asshole

[jaylor]

tw: im so confused how this fandom all unanimously loathed matty healy for saying he got off to porn of Black women being b**talized, t**tured, and r***d but then those same people are now crying and feeling bad for Taylor being angry with us that Matty ghosted her after being held accountable for exactly that behavior??

#tw rape #tw torture #tw racism #im literally confused #has this fandom just not caught on that the album is about matty? cause it is #i mean genuinely that could be why people feel bad idk #it's surprisingly not about joe or travis except for like one song each #i feel nervous about posting this cause i feel like people are going to just tell me to shut up and let them enjoy drop night #but like what taylor is complaining about is actually like really fucked up.... i feel like i have to say something #and she's also making fun of us and calling us bad people? #and we all agreed matty wasn't a good person so it is all of us she's making of fun of #okay im not posting more i just find this all really fucked up

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i didn't do like. any work yesterday. so i have to do like all of it today oops but ig that's on me for reading during my prep instead of prepping oops

it's not that bad tbh - it's more of making sure i have the week planned out and figuring out how to use the darn website my co workers made the anticipatory guide on </3

#anyways #idk what the point of this post is #a part of me is proud that i'm getting work done #but another part is stressed bc this is my first time teaching a whole class novel #and it's shakespeare #and if you saw my kids. you'd understand why i'm nervous lol #but making posts like this or texting people exactly what i got done or need to do makes me feel better #bc it makes me feel like i have some control ig??? #idkkkk #the grading period grades are due tomorrow morning and i am SO CLOSE to being done grading everything lol #i have like fifteen more things to grade and that's it #like not fifteen whole assignments but fifteen submissions of one assignment #anyways i'll stop now sorry lol

[just-bendy]

ok so this is a stretch, but the word "canoodle" is a very interesting choice. if its from the fanfiction im thinking of, then you have excellent taste. if its not then i just outed myself hardcore. either way i would genuinely pay good money for nsfw bendy content from u ))

(( hahaaa im so sorry but you did,,,, the word "canoodling" just popped into my head as i thought of the answer to that ask and upon looking it up i saw that it was perfect ^ ^'

i have only read one little fanfic even though it was just about like,,, bendy headcanons and nothing nsfw. although you do have me intrigued,,, i havent,,, consumed??? any nsfw bendy content yet actually,,, so yeah,,, i dont know which fanfic youre referring to D: im sorry

AND IM SORRY TO ANYONE WHO THINKS BENDY MEANT LIKE,,,, ADULT STUFF I WAS USING IT TO MEAN kiss and cuddle very romantically,,,, i mean thats what i thought it means which does but if it means adult stuff too then,,, well he means that too ))

(( and that last thing you said means more to me than anyone will ever know aaaa thank u so much,,,))

#ask #mun #nanon #dwarfmun #(( idk im nervous to look at that stuff #ill never get that experience again so im like..... savoring it.. it feels nasty to use that word but it fits #i mean i did see ONE THING... but it was covered up #i think it was from the devils roost blog #if you know you know but ive only seen the image idk anything about the blog #i wasnt even looking that up and it just showed up dkjdkf #i dont remember what i looked up it was in incognito #something bendy related idk #nobody read past this but that last thing..... #that last thing..... #that makes me very happy #i mean i cant accept the money but thank u so much #eeeee... #i cant.... i shouldnt.. #u wanna know why i couldnt post all the drawings for september... because most of the page would be censored.... #and that wouldnt look good... it would look very suspicious ))

[oscill4te]

tfw your psychiatry-critical bc pyschs push meds onto traumatized people with no consideration for the side effects or offering no actual long-term treatment for their patients that targets the root of their issues- basically meds be like a bandaid solution that can make you worse, but then again you also finally got back on your med after over a week and there is no denying that it helps you 1000%... lol...

#straterra is sooo epic idk why it helps me so much. no med has ever done this for me #txt #only thing that sucks is that i have to force feed myself bc it makes u feel like u have a stone inyour stomach at all times. #but othet than that. 10/10. it makes the somatic effects of anxiety wayy easier to handle. my nervous system can take a break #its so fucking epic -_- #it was meant to help w ADD and it does. but it actually helps me w anxiety way more than any ssri #uh anyway the topic of my post... i think pyschiatric medication is good but #you should have a right to NOT take it w/o being labeled treatment resistant.... #bc that happens a lot to people who feel lobotomized by their meds and want to stop..

[eldritch-nightmare]

the current like... 'schedule' of sorts that i have going on is doing one matchup every other day and working on my other requests in the meantime. i'm still not entirely sure how often i should post in one day because i don't want to post too much or too little so i'm thinking i might settle on two posts per-day while my motivation is strong and then simmer down to at least one a day in the coming weeks.

#archived mind of v: thoughts and opinions. #i also wanna post random silly thoughts i have about these silly characters #they infest my brain constantly #but i get nervous being perceived #i'm debating whether or not a matchup should be considered like... #a 'outlier' to the two posts a day thing like #should i do post - post - matchup #or should it be matchup - post / post - post #i feel like im taking this way too seriously and making this weirdly technical and planned #idk i'll have to think about it anyways sorry for rambling #the matchups have been fun doing though!! #they take time for me to write so that's why im not just churning them out #sorry if im taking too long but i'll get to the others eventually! #im trying to go in the order of when they (the matchup requests) were sent so

[caruliaa]

bad decision maker (me)

#this IDIOT decided to start an event for a fandom even though two relativly popular ships make them feel deeply uncomforatable !! #uugh its fine. its 2023 like three ppl ship carmen and gray and/or julia and chase in 2023. weve moved on where better as a society #UGHH THE THING ISS THO !!! like i dont want to be mean those ships genuinly make me feel like being sick maybe and i didnt realize #that my reaction to it was THAT intense before so i tohught it wld b fine if i had to occasionaly rb stuff for it. #i made my bed so i must lie in it i guess !!! alnd like no ones posted stuff YET but still. im nervous #also worried that bc ihave those ships tags banned i wont even see content for it and then the ppl posting content for it will like. #accuse me of being biased and say im a bad person and bla bla bla which i am biased but ill try not to be and uugh. #society if ppl didnt see a female character and a male character who she very clearly sees as her older brother #and a female character and a male character who repeatedly demeans her and went 'what if i shipped them' so this was never an issue for me #sorry thats mean. idk im trying to be impartial and balalnced and fair but i also am not ig. #its more just like! please dont kill me if i seem biased against redcr.ackle i am but i dont deserve u telling everyone to block me over it #someone actually did that once. cleary didnt work in the long run but you can see now why im so damm nervous #ig i can say that if i seem biased towards certain ships thats bc thats whats in the csweekly tags. and babes i wont be wrong !!! #bc i do rb based purely on those tags so ig im fine !! #flappy rambles

[funkinmadnesss]

Rufio posts another text post instead of art (Not clickbait)/j

jokes aside- Hii! So for a bit i've been debating whether or not i want to start posting original content along with my fandom stuff (bc i feel bad when i just leave ya'll with nothing while i hyperfixate on oc stuff for a few days/weeks). And basically I've made a blog for one of my silly oc storylines! its @offbrand-backrooms ! I wanna get used to posting original stuff again and the OBBR is one of the main stories I feel comfortable doing so :] There's currently nothing posted yet, but hoping to get stuff uploading in the next few days!

That being said, if that goes well, I might start posting other original things over here too, If yall are okay with that <:] It'd mainly be just my silly little furry designs or general ocs. Ik its my blog and i can post what i want but I very much appreciate all my followers and would love to know yall's input on this.

okiee that's all i had ty for reading 👍

#rufio talks #idk why this makes me so nervous NKVJFD #i mainly have a problem with trying to please people and not just. #have fun posting art- #but yea if you have any questions or concerns(?) just feel free to drop an ask! #i really should post this and a normal time but when have i ever done that <333

[thespectral-wolf]

My self-consciousness of posting very self-indulgent stuff on my blog vs. my strong dislike of making side-blogs for different stuff... FIGHT

#the dilemma of the century lmao #idk I just feel weird about suddenly posting about random stuff for an entirely different fandom #when in the past years made almost nothing but sonic stuff #why is this making me so nervous aghhh!!!

[donghuamuqing]

Gonna bring brave to this fandom. I will bring the bears

#my post #el turns will into a bear because it makes sense to me. #mike is trying to court her and shes lying to make herself seem more exciting because shes nervous and doesnt actually want to be married #but thinks this is what she has to do #and mike is also doing what he thinks he needs to but obvs loves will #but will asks why el is lying and feels upset that el and mike have such a false relationship #so he confronts her and she gets upset and splits their family in half (such as in the movie lol) #and turns him into a bear #but they get closer and understand each other more as they try to unbearify will #and then he saves her from old evil bear vecna who was fully cursed #papa is the witch idk #they found el in the woods #im gonna draw this bc i already wrote a brave au for another fandom #and didnt even finish it #ALSO WILL IS AN ARTIST SO HE MAKES THE PAINTING OR TAPESTRY THAT EL SEVERA #AND SHE FIXES

[boxloonaer]

im gonna start screaming

they are trans and i refuse to believe anything else yeehaw

cha cha

also i dont really ship them that much tbh i just think that it could be kinda cute in a way if its done right idk

but kissing your friends on the face can be platonic if its supposed to be platonic yeehaw

also im sorry if they both look kinda off idk if i draw them that well tbh :/

i gave them both dyed hair cause i thought itd be fun btw

im so fucking cold rn im annoyed

also im sorry if i overdid it with the trans flags i was having a moment ok

#anyways pls enjoy me screaming in the tags yeehaw #i think elite force couldve been good if the writers knew what they were doing btw #but they didnt so it was really disappointing #also idk if i sound angry rn im sorry if i do im tired #anyways chase and skylar couldve been besties i wrote a 374 page essay about them and elite force and how it couldve been better #i get very nervous posting fanart btw its like scary because of the fact people might notice my existence i hate it #anxiety is fucking beating my ass all the time :( #i could keep yelling in the tags about everything but im shaking rn and im having a crisis its not fun #also i have other tags to put anyways so ye ye #skylar storm #chase davenport #fanart #my art #box’s art corner #box time #why do i feel like i have to explain everything everytime i post? i dont know but i hate it #im going to bite a tree after this >:( #also dont let my other tags make you think i hate elite force i dont but im just saying it was kinda bad

[celebiii]

Ok im normal sorry that was uh something im usually able to keep under control wow

#had a moment of weakness it is true. i dont even like making posts but what if god sees it and has pity and makes things better idk #i mean like that would be great but in reality just felt something i haven’t in awhile and it did smth to my brain #had a knee jerk reaction. you understand #it aint even about me which is why it’s wild. like uh that’s the reaction to someone else’s pain? girl why are YOU acting out #and see that’s the thing too. i dont care about me in this scenario it’s just being unable to help others that makes me like. agonize #anyway I hope everyone suffering feels better soon. sorry it’s so bad and i hope this is something that seems insignificant in the future #i need more cbd oil i think #hard weed is not legal here so it’s the best i can do. it’s so expensive though #idk why im yapping. nervous

[sillyabtmusic]

i think i am getting the hang of this whole giffing thing. idk. i am feeling particularly proud of my progress so far :•)

#speaking.txt #the only downside is now if i look at my old sets i go 'ohhhh i could do this so much better now' which is </3 #this is not to say my old sets are bad. i still quite like (most) of them! but i just feel i could do differently now #there's one set of mine that i keep re-convincing myself over and over that it's the worst ever but then i look and like. #it's not terrible it's just coloured a little weird #which like. okay sucks. but i am just being dramatic about how Much it sucks asdlkfajsdlfk #actually the first gif i made that made me go 'wow i am definitely improving' is still sitting in my drafts cuz i cannot justify posting it #yet alkdfjaldskfj it's so MASSIVELY self indulgent which like. not bad. but. idk if i ever post it you'll see #bad habit i have is making gifs and then just shoving them in my drafts to rot #the only reason why is i get soooo nervous posting i stare at the post button for 7 years like ⊙_⊙ #thats on me though i really gotta get better about it. okay i'm done in the tags 🫡

[no-one-hears-me]

I wonder if it's detrimental to view myself as someone who dies and is replaced by a new version of myself, rather than a constantly changing but whole person

#I was just thinking about something from last summer #and i was like 'that Sera would have been so xy if she was here today #like.... I am here today #idk it's just hard to see my past as being the same person that's here today #I feel like i change soooo much in such little time #like yeah obviously I'm gonna be different than when i was like 14 #but 14 year old Sera would be horrified to see current Sera ngl #and also like. I've changed a lot in less than a year #this is the saddest change tho. I miss Sera from last summer #I feel like core aspects of my personality are gone tbh #it also makes me nervous about hanging out with friends I haven't seen in awhile #like they're excited to see old Sera but they get me instead. that's disappointing #so basically a long period of stress and misery killed Sera and now I'm the replacement #but I really lost myself in the process huh #I died in a way I didn't want to #rip summer Sera. you were so funny and hot #this summer's Sera is looking to be mentally unstable and miserable #which will prob cause her to die and be replaced by an even worse version. this sucks #idk why I'm referring to myself as a separate person but like. that's what this post is about #I just don't see myself as having lived my past. those were different people and they're all dead #I miss some of them tho #Sera

[elliesdoll]

idk why i keep thinking abt angsty loser!ellie… she is my baby

nsfw! just ellie masturbating n crying (me) 𝜗𝜚

pts 2 & 3 already posted!

a wonderful anon said my fic reminded them of this song and they r so right… listen to it rn

daily click! do not buy tlou free palestine 🇵🇸

ellie was so in love with you. she is so in love with you.

you are her light. your smile, your laugh, your everything. she just couldn’t get enough of you. being friends with you was probably the best blessing god could ever gift her, yet also the worst punishment.

she knew she could never have you.

not in the way she wanted, anyway.

you talk ellie’s ear off almost everyday, and ellie never gets tired of it. your sweet voice that felt like pure honey and warmth being poured into her ears. so sickly sweet. she swore you were a siren of some sort.

you were so perfect and you didn’t even know it. you would tell ellie about your escapades and little ‘situationships’ as you’d like to call it, and it made her sick. every last person you talked about seemed like shit. she couldn’t believe that you thought that’s all you were worthy of.

she would worship you if you gave her the chance.

she told you the same thing each time: “fuck them. you know you’re too pretty for them anyway.”

and you were always grateful for her. who else would remind you of your worth? you needed her, she was your rock. your fidgety, awkwardly nerdy rock.

she was always the shy type. or she was around you, at least. she was never too bashful, but sometimes she’d slip and show you just how nervous you make her. her freckled skin would turn all pink, her eyes avoiding your gaze. she’d have an awkward, thin-lipped smile, and you could feel the clamminess of her hands if she was touching you. you’d find it cute, how she’d just melt if you two were touching or you’d give her a compliment on literally anything.

but what you didn’t know, is how she hated herself for it.

after anytime you two hung out, she’d go home, stomping to her room and looking down at her feet. “so fucking stupid.” she’d mutter to herself, thinking of all the times she stuttered around you or got all warm in the face. but without fail, each little mishap would lead to her in her bed, a string of curses leaving her mouth while pathetically fingering herself to the thought of you.

one particular night, she had shown up to your house unannounced. knocking at your door, leaning back on her heels as she waited for you to open up.

she doesn’t normally do this. she never does this. but she thought maybe you two had gotten close enough. just enough for her to show up at your home anytime she felt like seeing you.

so when you opened the door, and she saw your hair a bit disheveled, your cheeks flushed and what appeared to be a hickey below your jaw, that thought quickly went away.

“fuck, els. i’m sorry but… really bad timing.”

you said with a light chuckle, giving her an apologetic smile. she just stared at you, eyes wide and her cheeks red.

“fuck. i’m sorry, shit. i don’t know why i showed up here— i wasn’t thinking. sorry.”

she mutters, stuttering over her words. she hated how her tummy got all fuzzy and how her boxers suddenly felt all warm and soaked. all while having the biggest lump in her throat.

before you could say anything back, she was already speed walking away from your front door, down to her car. she got in and drove away, not even bothering to see if you were still there, watching her.

she felt so fucking stupid. her vision was blurry as she drove home, speeding until she finally parked in her driveway. who the fuck was in your house? which one was it fucking you? did they even love you like she did? she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

she swung the door open, then slammed it behind her as she ran to her room. she closed the door and locked in, and let the tears flow. she kicked her beat up converse off, and aggressively rubbed her cheeks to get rid of the wet tears that rolled down them.

“fucking idiot.”

“why the fuck would i?— god.”

“what did i think? she doesn’t love me.”

she mumbles to herself, all through hiccups and stuttered breaths. her pretty cheeks are wet with hot tears, her eyes red and watery. even her poor nose is all stuffed up, making her sound nasally as she dumbly insults herself.

one by one, she removes her clothes. she fiddles with the button of her jeans and undoes it, hooking her thumbs under the band of her boxers at the same time, and kicks it all off. she then moves to her hoodie, messily taking it off and cursing when it gets stuck on her little bun. she even takes her sports bra off, which she never does.

fully naked and vulnerable, she turns all the lights off and crawls into bed.

she sobs into her pillow, feeling like some pathetic idiot. she doesn’t know why she ever thought you’d feel for her the way she feels for you. she felt so fucking perverted too— getting wet over the idea of you getting fucked. getting wet over your smile, your touch.

she sniffles, her slender hand slithering down to her pussy. she sighs as her middle finger lightly swipes by her clit, feeling just how wet she is. she brings her ring finger into the mix and circles her clit, gathering all the wetness from her clenching hole.

she moans, quietly. ellie isn’t typically a moaner, but she is right now. she is for you. she rubs her clit rapidly, the sounds of her squelching pussy filling her dark room. she closes her eyes, not wanting to cum too quick. she stars to think about you, and her fingers go to plug her hole.

she imagines you below her, giving her that sweet smile as she made love to you. she wanted to love you so bad, it hurt.

“oh god— shit,” she whined to herself, legs spread and feet planted on her bed, knees bent as she mercilessly fucked herself to the thought of you. she wanted to make you cum by her fingers, mouth, cunt— whatever the fuck you wanted.

her imagination switched to your mouth on her pussy, lapping at her clit and eating her out like you’d die if you didn’t. she let out a shaky whine, imagining that her fingers were your tongue, moving in and out of her as your nose nudged her clit.

ellie’s breath sped up, her eyebrows knitted upwards as she felt that hot, sticky feeling in her belly just come flooding out. her cunt pushed out and clenched around her fingers, as she cums with a strangled cry. her body covered in a thin layer of sweat, and her thighs trembling as her slick came gushing out of her, staining her sheets below her.

she slowly pulled her fingers out, catching her breath. she could feel her heart in her ears. but the ache never left. she’s still crying, just not as theatrically. she doesn’t even bother cleaning herself up or her bed, just turning to the side and hugging her pillow. she shoves her face into the plush pillow, her wet face dampening the fabric. and there, cum sticking her thighs and pussy together, naked, she fell asleep.

and she’ll never move on, either. you haunt her, even in her dreams. doomed to love you in every reality.

aaakkk i dunno how to end these 😖 this is my first fic(?) drabble thingy ever so pls be gentle haha lol ☺️☺️☺️👍

this is so rushed bai 😑

#ellie williams #tlou2 #abby the last of us #abby tlou #ellie williams smut #ellie x reader #lesbian #tlou part 2 #ellie #ellie x fem reader #ellie smut #wlw #i hate this #i’m nervyyy #is this too long #loser ellie

[luvrgrlellie]

gf!ellie headcannons

warnings: smut

controversial but i think gf!ellie only really calls you babe/baby. she calls you other things occasionally, but knowing ellie I think she would find a lot of typical pet names cringe (unless she’s saying it teasingly during sex ie. princess 😫 for her pillow princess) (or doll if she’s feeling cocky)

gf!ellie who’s ALWAYS cold. that girl has terrible circulation and is constantly sticking her feet under your butt or her hands up your shirt/down your pants to warm them up

“ouch els you’re freezing!!! why do you have ice cubes for hands?”

“idk but i dooooo know i have a space heater for a gf so it doesn’t really matter”

gf!ellie lovessss hearing you talk about your interests/hobbies/passions. she could sit there forever just listening to you ramble and watching your eyes gleam with excitement.

gf!ellie who loves taking you shopping and watching you try things on. you’re like her own little doll that she gets to dress up.

“oh my god babeeee i need to see you in this. go put it on.”

“holy shit - fuck you look so good. yeah give me a spin. god you look so fine.”

of course gf!ellie also spoils the shit out of you on these trips whenever you let her.

“no really els - I don’t need it, it’s fine!”

“it’s not about needing anything. you look so fucking hot in that dress and I wanna buy it for you. cmon let me spoil my girl.”

gf!ellie who loves to doodle with you snuggled up next to her. one of her favorite pastimes is cuddling up in bed with you at her side and her sketchbook in hand.

gf!ellie who’s a terrible cook but tried really hard in the beginning for you. she wanted to impress you by preparing a homecooked meal for your third date, but it turned out terrible. she knew you were a keeper when you took a bite and tried to pretend to like it, but then immediately came clean in the gentlest way possible because you didn’t wanna lie to her but also didn’t want her to think you didn’t appreciate the gesture.

“ellie, have you ever made this before”

“damn it’s that bad huh?”

“no, no! okay well. i will say the chicken is a little under done. and the vegetable are a little overdone. but besides that it’s really good!!”

gf!ellie who appreciates when you take over in the kitchen for the rest of the relationship. not only do you whip up the most delicious meals for her on the daily, but also look incredibly adorable doing it in your little apron with your scrunched-up concentrated face. she loves hugging you from behind to see what her cute little housewife is cooking her - squeezing your hips, rocking you back and forth, and kissing on your neck to tease you.

gf!ellie who’s uncharacteristically nervous to meet your parents. you’ve never seen her anxious like that but she just wanted really wanted to make sure that they like her. she brings flowers and some store bought cookies, but little does he know that ellie’s kind heart and love for you will win them over just fine <3

gf!ellie who knows you can handle yourself but is still hella protective of you and will knock out anyone who looks at you wrong. all you have to do is say the word.

protective gf!ellie who has mixed feelings on PDA. she really likes having her hands on you so that everyone knows your her’s, but she‘s also aware how gross and disgusting men are and how they fetishize wlw. so out of protection for you she tries to keep it toned down and unless it’s necessaryyyy (she’s tired of the stares and needs to mark her territory)

protective gf!ellie always making sure you kept your drink in your hand at all times at parties.

*drunk you getting ready to put your drink down in some random spot*

*ellie intercepting it to hold for you instead* “nopeee I got it.”

protective gf! ellie watches how much you’re drinking and cuts you off when you’ve clearly had enough

just recently posted an ellie’s kinks headcannons if y’all wanna go check it out 😏😏😏😏, so i’m not gonna go into hella detail of what gf!ellie likes in bed but let me tell ya’ll this

gf!ellie just loves teasing you. she loves how desperate you get when she drags the tip of the strap from your clit down to your hole, making you think she’s FINALLY gonna fuck you and then bringing it back up to your clit again. watching you squirm and beg her to just put it in never fails to put on smirk on your face.

“what’s the matter baby? can’t be patient? need my cock inside you that bad huh?

“if you want it so bad you’re gonna have to beg. let me hear it baby. tell me exactly what you want or you’re not getting it.” she lives to make you say every little dirty thing you want her to do to you, out loud, several times until she finally gives in. but if you do as she says she’d literally do anything you want. obsessed with you is what that girl is

loves hearing you moan and whine and beg her to fuck you but also loves covering your mouth with her hand or stuffing your panties into your mouth to shut you up. and then trying to make you talk to her when you clearly can’t.

“what’s that? sorry babe i can’t understand you.”

gf!ellie is possessive asf during sex too. whatever she’s calling you, she’s putting my in front of it. like….

“MY good girl”

“MY pussy”

“MY little slut” 😋

gf!ellie is just the bestest ever, always putting her girl first and treating her like a damn queen :)

honestly I could write so many more of these and i didn’t know where to stop so lmk if you want a part 2!!

xoxo,

a ;)

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