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xfancyuu · 1 year

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~ cause i can feel a real connection, a supernatural attraction. [aemond targaryen]

PART III (want it more and more) 18+, smut.

as promised, here is the third and last part! the first part & second of this series contains a westerosi wedding & a valyrian wedding, this fic will contain SMUT, it is reader's first time and she's extremely nervous and slightly clueless. reader is afab with she/her pronouns if requested i will write non-binary characters! i'd also love some feedback for this! i'd love some pointers on what you liked/didn't like about it! this is my first time writing smut so like be kind, i'm on the ace spectrum and i'm a virgin so everything i know is from reading erotica and roleplaying smut as hilariosity lmao. i should have mentioned before now this fic was inspired by bts' blood sweat and tears, the korean lyrics sound so much better than the english lyrics look.

this fic contains: bolton!reader (now targaryen), wedding consummation, mentions of aemond's assault (bc that's what it was), the word maidenhead, readers hella nervous bc she hasn't had in-depth knowledge about what would happen, reader's clueless about oral sex and aemond goes down on her lmao, two losers in love. girl on top (i read somewhere it's probably the best way to be in control during sex and i have control issues lmao), as doja once said: big noses i won't elaborate, this isn't the sexy kind of smut it's the awkward first time kind. times are rough for girlies in westeros and it's kinda reflected in the way reader thinks/talks about children. [2,582 words]

THIS CONTAINS SMUT BUT THE PURPOSE OF THE STORY IS MORE ABOUT THEM BEING REPRESSED! PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS EXPECTING SOLELY EROTICA!

The proximity between both yourself and Aemond was strange, you knew you'd have to be intimate at one point, but it hadn't crossed your mind that being on a bed in only your underclothes would leave you so insecure. Had Aemond not wanted to touch you? His previous words contradicted your thoughts, even if they lived within your mind.

It was silent, not the comfortable silence you were so often used to when spending time with Aemond and his sister. The kind which made your skin crawl, the kind which made you feel hyper-analysed, the kind which you didn't know how to break without shattering the illusion of yourself. The illusion that you were perfectly content and wanted nothing more than to just exist within the same space as him.

You had thought about Helaena's children, how they were beautiful and so precious. But did you want children of your own so soon? Your body was not an incubator for children, being a daughter you were constantly told your only purpose in life was to bring children into the world and watch them thrive. No other option had presented itself. Your brother's wives had taken this in their stride, providing heirs and the like, but you were beyond worried that would be your only use. Your only contribution to society. Aemond was a second son — did he truly need heirs? Were children considered a commodity and not a necessity? You had wished your worries would be alleviated. They had not with your refusal to talk about children and their possible needs. Would you be a horrible mother who put your own needs before theirs? Would you be bitter like your own mother? You had no intention of finding out so soon.

Would you lose your identity after marriage? You had been so lively and bubbly, you didn't want your spark to dim simply because you were bound to Aemond forever. Or however long forever truly lasts.

"Do you want children?" Your question was mumbled, as though you didn't want to say the words aloud. Your demeanour was never this timid, especially not with Aemond.

"I hadn't given it much thought, Aegon is the one who needed to provide heirs, Rhaenyra already has children, as a second son it's not my immediate priority. It shouldn't be yours, either." The sincerity in which Aemond had spoke had calmed you significantly. Perhaps he too struggled with the duty of being the perfect child who could do no wrong too.

"My parents want more grandchildren, though I still feel as though the world is unexplored, and I have so much to learn about... Children feel as though it would be a life sentence to unhappiness." You had never truly spoken the words aloud, unhappiness and despair would most likely follow the children you brought into the world.

"Then perhaps we should wait, for children that is, there are pleasures in producing children, but there are many methods which a child could be prevented." This was news to you, had Aemond felt the desire you held for him? How badly you had wanted him but refrained because it was so unladylike?

"You should show me." Your reply would have shocked Aemond if he did not know you well enough to know your adventurous streak and wanting to know everything. "Mother told me I should just let you lie on top of me and wait for you to get off, I do not quite know what she meant, but it didn't sound... Pleasurable for either party involved."

"If your mother believes that is the height of passion and romance, I truly feel sorry for her." Your laughter could be heard through the room, though he did have a point. Your mother was so much younger than your father and lacked experience in many ways, you didn't doubt her bitterness came from her life being taken from her so young and being expected to make your father happy.

"I think the only emotions she knows how to feel is bitterness and hatred, perhaps pettiness too, she says I get that off her. How I can hold a grudge for moons over slight offences. But I do think she prefers me over my brothers. One does not share a bed with his wife, instead he shares with his friend, the other she calls dim witted at any opportunity, one she wants to send to the wall and my younger brother isn't a priority, I doubt she even knows his name. I think she gave up around the time her second was born to be, as she calls, a disappointment we never got better for her, I think. She can at least stay in a room with me for hours on end."

Aemond's expression is that of shock. To your vulnerability or to the way you laid your soul bare to him, you did not know. Aemond's mind was but a mystery to you, a mystery you wished to understand. You considered yourself like Lady Sunderland, a girl investigator who solved mysteries all around the world. Your favourite had to be the one which took place in the North, a story of deception, lies and corrupt dealings. Yet it had all been fictional but if you were to be someone, you wished to be like her.

"Father doesn't pay any mind to her feelings either, nor does he notice how we feel — or rather, he doesn't care to. I think I'm his favourite too, is that unfair to say? I fear that I'm a product of them both and wouldn't want to inflict those traits onto my own children." The insecurities you had kept within you came out like a flood. You supposed you were lucky to have such involved parents, but their constant interference and being obsessive with the way they treated you had left you feeling somewhat resentful that your childhood was so contained to what they saw fit and not what you had wanted to do.

Laying yourself so open and honest had an adverse reaction within Aemond. While you were so willing to bare your soul to him, he could simply not do the same. He could not share his trauma with you, but you had accepted it. Welcomed it even.

"Children are not a necessity at this very moment, Y/N."

"But they will be expected, I have seen the way you look at Helaena's children and I cannot deny I enjoy spending time with them and by the time mother was my age she'd already had two of my brothers — my good sisters were married and had children by the age of seven and ten, and it feels as though I am behind in life despite not being old enough to truly be behind."

"Do you wish you had their lives? To be as miserable as most of those women? Your mother is bitter, she only knows hatred and pettiness. The majority of the surrounding women are not happy themselves, you said so yourself. Would you choose to be unhappy and ahead in life or happy and, as you so put it, behind." Aemond's words of reasoning had somewhat snapped you out of your current state. "You are in constant comparison with others, and it is not healthy for yourself or those surrounding you, my love."

"It is hard not to when those surrounding me seem so put together, and I'm one moment from falling apart."

"If it eases you, I too do not wish for children so early into our marriage, I wish to have you alone for some time."

"And what would you like to do, alone with me?"

Instead of answering you directly, Aemond's weight had shifted on the bed and ever, so suddenly he was above you. You did not know what had possessed you to kiss your husband with such ferocity — perhaps it was the need and desire for him. Two long years of courtship with underlying tension and the inability to relieve it. Not knowing how to relieve it. You had once put a pillow beneath yourself as to stop the sensation, but could never bring yourself to finish as thoughts of Aemond had entered your mind. You had considered it shameful and avoided the man at every possibility before you inevitably had to speak once more. You had wondered if Aemond had done the same thing — thought of you in such sinful ways.

The way you had gazed at him was almost as though you were a lovesick girl. In young adolescence, you had always dreamed of having your own prince to save you from the mundane world. If the world was mundane with Aemond within it, you would not have had it any other way. The way he looked at you, the way he so intently listened, the way he had almost feared your rejection, his anger, his jealousy, his envious nature, you had wanted it more than anything. You didn't need to pretend with Aemond, you could be yourself unapologetically, and he would simply smile.

The kiss initiated by had gone from a peck to something more in such little time. His hands had wandered down your body as if knowing the right places to touch. How he held such a gentle touch within him, you did not know. You were rough, hands tousling through his hair. He was so composed while you were losing yourself to the pleasure you had felt. Would he consider you disgusting? The feelings you had felt at the moment felt nothing but pure.

The kissing had gone from your mouth to your neck as Aemond planted kisses upon you. Once or twice you felt his teeth against your skin, but you could not complain about it. However, as he moved further down your body you had spoken, "This feels nice but what are you actually doing?"

"Do you trust me?" Aemond had answered your question with his own as he continued to move down your body, his teeth nipping your skin after the question you had asked. That one you deemed as intentional.

"Yes, but I would like you to tell me what you're doing." The sensations had gone down to your intimate area, it was almost throbbing with excitement. Perhaps the starvation of touch had caused it, or something else. "It feels quite strange."

"I promise you it won't hurt."

"Stop evading my question." Perhaps it was the frustration from lack of intimacy which was making you feel this way.

He hadn't answered, choosing to ignore you completely, lifting your underclothes to the point they had rested on your stomach. You knew what was about to happen. He was about to consummate your marriage. You were simply not prepared, but simply laid there, as your mother told you to, but the painful sensation did not come, instead you had felt his tongue.

It had felt quite nice, though you weren't sure the purpose of the ordeal. Until you felt a sensation almost identical but completely different to the night you had put the pillow between your thighs.

The throbbing didn't cease as Aemond had continued licking at the spot which had you craving release from whatever hold it had on you. You hadn't realised you were grinding against him as he continued, though you did feel something entering you. It hadn't felt unpleasant nor unwelcome, just strange.

He had continued, adding another two fingers, but you hadn't entirely noticed, hell-bent on getting the release you so desperately deserved after two years of repression. You had felt it release. It was otherworldly, had others known such pleasure and were keeping it a secret? It was almost as if you had left your body only to be brought crashing down by Aemond still between your legs while they shook.

"When you had mentioned there being pleasure, I did not expect this." Your panting was evident as Aemond pulled himself away from between your legs, "Is there a way I can make you feel as though I just felt?"

"Does my dear wife wish to please me? Your current state says otherwise." Once again, he was hovering over you, though he had initiated the kiss. You had tasted yourself upon him and while it was a distinct taste you could not put a word to it.

You had pulled away rather quickly and though Aemond had not showed it upon his face, he was rather disappointed with you doing so. "Why are you teasing me right now?" It was your turn to take control, not doing so would be against your character. "Why would I not wish to please you? Your pleasure matters much more to me than my own." You were on top of him now, and you knew he could easily fight you off but chose not to.

The underclothes you were wearing had been removed by yourself as you sat within Aemond's lap, "Tell me how I should please you now... Or I'll never give you the option again."

"You think yourself in control?" Aemond had you within his grip and wasn't about to let you go, "Yet you do not even know how to pleasure me, how would you go about that, without guidance?"

"I'm very intuitive, and I sense you're just as sensitive there as I am." To prove your point, you had begun grinding on him, "Oh look, I was right."

It was a slow descent, and suddenly you were no longer a maiden. Your maidenhead had finally been broken, but that hadn't meant you could move freely. It had hurt but not as intensely as you had originally thought, with Aemond kissing you, distracting you from the pain you must have felt.

It was awkward at first, moving up and down on him, you were awfully uncomfortable wishing for the ordeal to end faster than you would speak aloud. Your only thoughts were on Aemond's pleasure, not releasing you were feeling the same as before as Aemond had played with that spot which brought you pleasure before.

It hadn't taken long for you to both reach your peak, unnaturally fast, though if Aemond was as untouched as you had been, you knew it was inevitable. Though he had come inside you, it hadn't worried you too much. It was a problem for another day and a future you.

You had all but collapsed on top of Aemond as he had whispered reassurances in your ear that the two of you would be fine.

How does one act after engaging in such acts of intense passion? You had no clue, what does one say? You doubted you could even form a coherent sentence after such a moment.

"I'm happy my first time was with somebody who truly cares for me." You were the first to break the silence. "Thank you for being so gentle and caring."

"You do not need to thank me, it had brought me as much pleasure as it did you." He would not speak of his own first experience. He hadn't considered it traumatic at the time, but he truly wished his brother wasn't as promiscuous as he was, who tried to lead him down the same path.

"I mean it, many men would not be as gentle or as kind as you were."

"Sleep, Y/N, you might want to save your energy for the morning, I may not be as kind nor gentle." It had caused you to laugh as sleep had lured you into the world you so often spent your time. You hadn't felt him kiss your head as you leaned into him.

Softness was not something Aemond was familiar with, but for you barely conscious, he could make an exception.

thank u for reading this fic! again feedback would be appreciated but u don't need to give it, this is the last instalment so thank you for following me on my journey! i suspect the next fic i write will involve my queen vhagar bc how could i leave her out of this? cross posted on ao3 under the name hedonism! this fic was reformatted on 7th april 2023