#if I could go sightseeing and stay tucked into bed at the same time I wouldn’t want to get out and walk either | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bbugyu · 3 years

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if you wanted to go to the moon, he would take you there.

plot twist | crash zoom | happy ending

16.1k (lol) | joshua x afab enby!reader, fluff, humor, suggestive, reader is ace lol, youtuber au, chef au, swearing, drinking, detailed descriptions of meals, mentions of past trauma including sexual assault, i swear it's not that deep, lots of implied sex but none on screen (yet), watching movies and playing video games, yes i am trying to set up all my friends, would anyone get it if i said r&r

welcome to part two of classic!! please enjoy this tooth rotting relationship garbo in which i basically announce to the world that i have a disgusting crush on joshua. posting this later than intended but i started working five tens so i'm 😅 a little tired lol. but joshua makes it ok <3

when you mentioned offhandedly that you had never had bibimbap in jeonju, joshua practically dropped the groceries he was helping you bring up the elevator.

"how long have you been in korea?" he asked.

you looked at him, wide eyed. "four years?"

he squinted at you, jutting his jaw out. "and you've never gone to jeonju? it's, like, the food hub of korea. how the hell?"

"i…" you laughed, exiting the elevator when the doors opened. "i don't know? it's never been top priority, i guess?"

"okay, well it is now," he stated plainly, following you to your door while you adjusted your bags in your hands to punch in the code. as soon as the groceries were safely on your counter, he pulled out his phone. "friday to sunday?"

you looked up from the vegetables in your hands. "what?"

he looked at you. "we're going. this weekend? i need to reserve the ktx tickets."

you laughed. "this weekend? joshua, it's wednesday."

"okay, next weekend?"

you stared at him a second, purely because you were in disbelief. "no, i have a demonstration next saturday."

he exhaled, looking at the calendar on his phone. "okay, and jamie's birthday party is the weekend after, so," he paused, looking at you through his lashes. "this weekend?"

you pushed your hands onto the counter and sighed heavily. "when would we leave?"

he grinned, knowing that meant he had won you over. "after i get off work? i can be here by 3:30."

"how long is the train?"

"uhh," he quickly searched for the tickets. "two hours. less than. we can buy snacks for the ride and have dinner when we get there."

you chewed your lip. "i have to edit on sunday, so we can't stay all day."

he nodded, inspecting the time table for tickets. "stay two nights, leave after breakfast?"

you considered that for a second. "i could bring my laptop and export footage on the train."

a smile crept across his face when you puffed out your cheeks in thought. "is that a yes?"

your cheeks deflated as you exhaled. "fine."

"yeah?" joshua grinned at you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and tugging you into his chest. "jeonju this weekend?"

you exhaled again, your arms reluctantly winding around his torso. "yeah. jeonju this weekend."

"you're gonna love it," he said, pressing his lips against your temple. "i helped on an article about hole in the wall finds there years ago, so i know all the good spots."

you giggled, pulling away to look at him with a quirked eyebrow. "you used to write for the magazine?"

he shook his head at you. "when i was interning."

"aw," you poked at his cheek. "intern joshie?"

he rolled his eyes, separating himself from you as you giggled, and he looked at you slyly from the corner of his eye. "joshie?"

you grinned, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. "joshie!"

he laughed and batted away your hands. "joshie?"

you: i think i'm finally packed

joshie: i don't understand why it was so difficult when we're going for Two Days.

you: 😡

joshie: 😘

as promised, he arrived at your apartment in a cab and stubbornly took your roller suitcase despite your insistence that you could handle it. joshua was always doing things like this - for you, you imagined, he would probably even lay down his jacket in a puddle so you wouldn't have to walk through it. but at the same time, he wouldn't fault you for kicking his jacket aside and purposefully jumping in it instead. he would probably join you, even.

he had joked with you that this would be like a work trip for you, but only because he was the one that suggested you film - plus, he reminded you, filming a full video this weekend meant that you didn't have to film next week. and to be perfectly frank, you wanted the break. if you could have a weekend getaway with joshua and then a week long break to have a normal routine without a camera, it was a win-win.

equipped with coffee and cafe sandwiches, you casually kicked your feet and happily sipped at your americano as you edited a picture of it for your instagram story. joshua sat beside you, also doing something on his phone, and you watched him with no intention as he pulled his airpods out of his coat jacket and offered one to you. you looked at him, smiling when he gestured with the open case again.

"i made a playlist," he said quietly as you put the airpod into your ear. he took the one you left and did the same, tapping on his phone.

the thought of joshua hearing a song and thinking of you making your chest flutter to life, the heat rising through you until you were left in a comfortable glow, smiling softly at him as a melody started in your ear. he looked back at you, double taking slightly when he realized you were looking at him.

"what's that look for?" he asked, a sideways grin breaking his face in half.

you shook your head, unable to change your face. "that's, just... really nice."

"making a playlist?" he hummed, settling back in his seat as you stuck your straw between your lips. "i didn't consciously do it. i just started a list of songs to show you because i thought you would like them, and this ended up being a good time to share it."

you sighed dramatically, falling back against the window of the train. "that's even nicer, you dickhead!" he laughed, shushing you and looking around, worried someone might have understood your slightly-above-inside-voice exclamation. "i know for a fact i didn't do anything to deserve the sweetest, handsomest, loveliest boyfriend on the planet, so what's the catch, mr. hong?"

his eyes went to the ceiling as he thought, kneading his lips once before saying, "i think you forgot funniest, too."

"ah," you said, a dry chuckle following the realization. "that's the catch."

"hey!" he laughed, eyes big as he pretended to be offended. "i know i'm funny!"

you giggled with him, mentally noting that you liked the song that he was playing. that he must have somehow picked up on why you liked the music you did. you thought about how you had the same thought, sometimes, when you were listening to music alone in your room and a song popped up on your discovery that sounded like something he would listen to. how you would immediately text them to him, knowing you would forget if you didn't send it right away, and he would react with some assortment of positive emojis. how he must have been doing the same thing, but wanted to be there when you heard them, and didn't have the same flighty memory as you. you brought your straw to your lips again, staring after him as he adjusted something in his bag, taking too long to refocus your attention to story you had been trying to post.

he later nudged you, getting your attention as you responded to an email on your phone, gesturing his finger with the melody, and you gave him a childlike look of awe, as if to tell him that yes, you agreed, this was exactly the kind of run you really enjoyed. he pounded a fist against his knee at the beats, pointing up at the key change, and you exploded into a stifled laugh, your palm covering your mouth. he laughed with you before he showed you the now playing page on his phone, holding it open dutifully as you quickly searched for it to add to your own library.

as promised, joshua provided great insight for the food tour the two of you set out on. travel day, he had told you, meant that you would have something easy - bibimbap and makgeolli at two of the best places he knew, apparently. by the time you made it back to the hotel room you had checked into before headed to the bar, you just about collapsed onto the queen bed.

"i'm so full," you exhaled, eyes dancing across the ceiling. "i'm never gonna move again."

joshua just laughed at you, toeing both of your shoes aside at the door before shuffling into slippers. "we have a full day of eating tomorrow, so you better move."

you let our a breathy laugh, rolling your head to watch as he flopped onto the bed beside you. "i'm glad you also plan trips around the meals."

he gave you a puzzled look. "is there another way to plan a trip?"

you rolled onto your side, tucking your arm under your head to look at him. "some people like sightseeing. or activities."

his brows were still ruffled in confusion as he looked away from you. "i like looking at food. and the activity of eating food."

you giggled, and his face finally broke to reveal the bewilderment had been a bit all along, his smiling laugh meeting yours.

you walked a lot the next day, and you were grateful for the light exercise to help your digestion a bit between meals. the local famous kalguksu for breakfast, a visit to a cafe for coffee before walking down a historical street together. you filmed with a smile on your face, shaking your americano for camera with a colorful background, just for you to pull down the drink and let the beautiful buildings and trees take the focus.

joshua could watch you forever, he was pretty sure. watching you conceptualise what you wanted this out of the ordinary video to look like, seeing the way you managed to be present with him, joking and giggling on your scenic walk, but squeezed his hand in warning before letting go, telling him quietly you wanted to get a shot. he had seen the way you filmed food, and how you filmed your kitchen, which was incredible in its own right, but this was the first time he got to see your process on the fly. when you went to work, as it were, taking in your scenery and deciding the way you wanted to portray it - more thought went into this than filming at the same barbeque restaurant for the fifth time, but joshua saw the similarities in the way your eyes twinkled when you saw something through your camera lens for the first time, even if only the first time that day. the way you would review the footage quickly, smiling at the way it turned out, but announcing that you were taking a second shot for safety.

then, he took you to another restaurant.

you barely noticed the passage of time, but when he conveniently "happened" upon the next stop on your food tour, you were pretty sure your stomach growled at the thought of eating an insane amount of dumplings, and you smiled at him in a way that made him want to cause it constantly.

if having your pick at dumplings was enough to make you giddy like a child, the night market was life altering. the food stalls were set up like they always were friday and saturday nights, joshua told you, and that meant you got to experience korean street food in a way you hadn't yet. you found the best pad thai you had ever eaten, succumbed to the tempting smell of grilled squid when passing a busy stall, and you even got served alcohol practically in passing, the specialty liquor being offered in a way that was hard for either of you to say no to. after a few too many, you had to stop joshua before he dragged you to a choco pie stall.

"we should eat more first," you said, gesturing to a woman making hashbrowns on a griddle. "while we have free hands. loop back around for dessert and buy some for the road."

joshua tapped his nose, then wagged his finger at you. "smart and hot."

you laughed, pulling him towards the hashbrown stall.

that night, you laid in bed beside each other, talking like you hadn't just spent literally the entire day together. recalling highlights of the day, sharing related anecdotes with assorted friends and family. you didn't even want to sleep - your body did, sure, clearly, by the way it kept interrupting your conversation with yawns. joshua would laugh, then yawn in response, and tell you that you should sleep. you would shake your head, a pout on your lips, and he would just smile and keep talking about whatever the yawn had interrupted.

being in bed with joshua wasn't demanding, nor was it uncomfortable, and you were pretty sure that meant something good.

you were making curry. he had mentioned that it looked good while you were watching some show the week prior and you couldn't get it out of your head. so, even though it was midsummer and far too warm for something as hearty as japanese curry, you decided you needed to make it anyway, if only for your own peace of mind. you invited joshua over to cook dinner for him, and he asked where your camera was when he arrived with your requested potatoes (you had some, except they were older than you thought and started sprouting), but you told him you weren't filming tonight.

"this ones for us," you said matter of factly, giggling when he looked shocked. "i don't film every meal, y'know. sometimes i cook things just for me."

he watched you dump the potatoes into the sink to wash. "what if it ends up being really pretty?"

"josh," you said, looking at him. "i don't make things that aren't pretty."

he asked if you needed help with anything, but you just shook your head and told him to relax. that you had made this a million times, and that you could do it with your eyes closed. he asked again if you were sure, and you laughed, scrubbing potatoes and using your shoulder to get your hair out of your face.

"actually," you said, raising the wrist on which you kept a hair tie. "do you know how? my hands are wet."

joshua smiled and nodded, coming over and pulling the tie off your wrist, careful to not get it too wet on your hand. "how high?"

"ariana," you said, making him laugh as you giggled. "as high as you can manage, but i don't really care."

he just smiled, taking your hair in his hands as you washed the potatoes one by one, and you tried to ignore the way you heart skipped a beat when you felt his touch drift across the back of your neck. he gently gathered it all in one palm at the crown of your skull, brushing through it with his fingers. "here?"

"perfect," you said, chewing your cheek and smiling. he pulled the band over your hair, tying it off tightly and pulled at the hair gently to keep it in place.

his hands glided over your waist, leading his arms to wrap around you as his chin landed on your shoulder. "not too tight?"

you shook your head, smiling. "you're multi talented."

"i have a sister," he reminded you, then put a kiss on your cheek.

you managed to convince him to sit at the counter, and he smiled and laughed with you as you conversed about anything that came to mind. he talked about his latest work antics, and you told him about a café you found the day before that you really enjoyed. he watched you skillfully chop vegetables and prepare chicken, flitting around your kitchen with a familiarity that could only be fostered by time. he glanced at the time on his phone, then looked at the door behind him that led to a bedroom.

"is karol here?" he asked. she normally would have emerged to say hi by now.

you looked at him before going back to pan frying the chicken. "no, she's in busan this weekend with some friends. she'll be back sunday night."

an alarm went off in joshua's head, and he tried not to think too deeply about the fact that you had invited him over while your roommate was away. sex hadn't even been a discussion on the table yet, but not because joshua didn't want it - because, frankly, he wanted it - he was just more concerned about you and your wants. for most things, he felt as though he had learned your thoughts and opinions naturally over the last few months, but outside of a few passing jokes, you hadn't ever mentioned how you felt about sex in general, much less sex with him.

so he stared at you, suddenly unable to ignore the fact that you were wearing shorts because of the weather, but they were hidden under the hem of the neutral toned apron he saw in your videos every week. or the way you smiled at him as you talked, your eyes glinting with mischief when you made a joke at his expense, but only made him laugh and want you more. he stood and came around the island, standing with his hip against the counter as the two of you continued conversing and you added the roux cubes to the pot.

his eyes never left you or your actions, and you noticed the way he inched towards you as your cooking became less involved and began to wrap up. you didn't argue when he put his arms around you again, watching you stir the curry with his cheek against your ear. he wasn't in your way, not even when you reached over to pull a spoon out of a drawer to give it a taste and make sure the seasonings were right, so you instead just enjoyed his presence.

you hummed, licking your lips briefly as you appraised the flavor. "not bad," you said, using the ladle you had been cooking with to pour more into the spoon you had just used to taste. you blew on it, then displayed it for joshua, who looked at you in his peripherals before accepting the bite.

"oh, wow," he said, making you giggle as you put the spoon aside. "that's better than a restaurant."

"thanks," you said, tapping the ladle on the side of pot to get the excess back in the pot, a spot of sauce landing on the back of your hand. you put it on the spoon rest next to your stovetop and replaced the lid on the pot of curry, quickly turning the burner to low. "now we just wait for the rice to pop," you said, spinning in his grip and licking the spot off the back of your hand.

joshua stared at you, desperately wishing in that moment that he wasn't such a damn man, because it was clear in your eyes that it was a completely innocent action. you got some of the delicious sauce on your hand, so why would you wipe it off when a towel wouldn't appreciate it like your tongue would? you wouldn't, obviously. he wouldn't have, either, if it had been his hand. but here he was, gaze fixed on your mouth as you pulled your hand away from it, and one of your eyebrows raised when you noticed.

"can i help you?" you asked, glancing down at his lips when he involuntarily leaned into you.

"i-" he swallowed. "sorry, i'm just-"

in that moment, you registered what his gaze meant. and while you were fairly oblivious to most things, you were far from innocent, so you put your arms over his shoulders and knit your fingers in his hair. "you're just?" you prompted.

there was a chuckle on his lips as he backed you against the counter, and he shook his head lightly. "i just think it's insane how into you i am."

joshua had this way of kissing you that made you think his life depended on it. he kissed you like you were in the final scene of an apocalyptic movie and he had come to terms with the fact that this was the end. like he knew that if your lips left his, he would magically disappear before he could tell you how much you meant to him. like he could stop time as long as he had you pressed against him with his hand on your jaw, but the sun was setting and he wasn’t ready to say good night.

when he finally pulled away from you, you were trying to catch your breath as his hands ran down your waist, and you stared into his eyes. his lips were parted, and his fingers gripped at your hips in a way that you knew meant he wished there were less layers between your skin.

your mind raced, thinking quickly back to how long the two of you had been seeing each other. how long you had known that you were interested in keeping joshua around for the long term. you wracked your brain, thinking about when people normally took the next step at your age, finding a discrepancy in the timing. you had made him wait for so long, but this was the first time you had noticed him trying to bed you - though, this was hardly subtle, so perhaps you had missed signs earlier? hell, the two of you had even shared a bed at this point, but you were pretty sure he hadn't tried anything then, either. you considered the fact that this relationship had gone for over two months without so much as a hint to take the next logical step, and you decided that joshua was definitely the only guy you had met in years that you would be willing to allow under your covers.

"the curry can sit for," you started, blinking rapidly as your mouth caught up to your mind. you swallowed once. "well, until tomorrow, technically, but-"

joshua's lip quirked upward. "did you invite me over to have me stay the night?"

"not-" you exhaled. his tone was slightly accusatory, but only playfully, and you found yourself more flustered by the question than you would have liked. "not consciously, but…" your eyes studied his face. "do you want to?"

"are you kidding?" he asked, making you breathe out a laugh, his forehead landing on yours. "did you not hear me when i said i was insanely into you?"

the rice cooker beeped, drawing both of your attention as it sang out a small tune to alert you it was finished. you looked at joshua. "are you hungry?"

he looked back at you, a smile sneaking on his lips. "i mean, working up an appetite wouldn't hurt, right?"

he let you lead him to your bedroom, which he had only been in once, briefly, when he had helped you put some lights away. the two of you admittedly spent most of your time in kitchens or restaurants, the remainder of your alone time being split between joshua's car and a couch to watch a movie, but joshua thought your taste suited his as he glanced around again, and that he would happily lose time in bedrooms with you. you kissed him again, and he was quick to pull you against his body, leaning into you, making you giggle as you bent backwards at the hips. "josh."

"what?" he asked, giving you a half lidded smile as his hand found your jaw, pulling you back into him. "stop leaning back and i'll stop chasing you."

"i'm-" you giggled into the kiss he interrupted you with. "i'm not leaning back, you're pushing me."

joshua made you feel like you were out of your depth, but in a way that was more exciting than scary. it had been ages since someone had been able to surprise you, or had helped you surprise yourself, but today he was doing both. the last time you had let a man into your heart, it had been less than perfect, especially towards the end, but joshua felt like home. cozy. he made you feel safe. like he wouldn't let you fall backwards unless your mattress was waiting for you.

and when you fell, he crawled over you, connecting your lips again with a hand against your jaw, the other holding himself above you, and you tried to restrain a whine.

"josh," you said suddenly, pushing on his chest lightly, processing fully what was about to happen and a shot of anxiety running through your chest. "c-can i tell you something first?"

joshua paused his motions, studying your eyes, his expression skewing scared. "oh, shit, are you a virgin?"

"what?" your eyebrows creased, a laugh on your lips. "no, what the fuck, josh? i'm in my mid-twenties."

he blinked at you. "there would be nothing wrong with you if you were a virgin in your mid-twenties."

"i'm not a virgin, joshua."

"right," he shook his head slightly. "sorry, i don't know. what were you saying?"

you chewed at your cheek nervously. "i just. i haven't… been with a guy in a really long time."

his eyes examined your face, looking for a hint at what you meant, because if it was only what you were saying, he didn't understand why you were so worried. "okay?"

"like, really long," you reiterated.

"baby, i promise," he said, forehead against yours. "i promise you, i don't care."

you exhaled sharply, wishing you could just enjoy things normal people did. that you knew what people wanted out of these encounters innately, instead of having to overthink them. "like, i don't want to… i don't know. disappoint you."

"disappoint me?" his head bobbed backwards in shock. "how the hell could i ever be disappointed when you're you?"

your eyes shut, grateful that he could still make you smile when you felt so out of your league. "i just mean that i-" you paused, trying to figure out how much you were willing to say, and how much you could without ruining whatever mood had been fostered here. "i just don't really do this. like, i feel like i don't know how."

"baby," he said, pressing his lips to yours briefly. "honey, sweetie, darling," he continued, punctuating each name with quick pecks. "you could starfish and i would have the time of my life."

you laughed, a hand landing on his shoulder sharply as he smiled at you. "okay, i'm not that bad, jesus."

"i'm telling you," he assured. "i don't care. i don't care if it's been months or years or forever, i don't care." he paused, appraising your expression. "we don't have to do anything. i'd be happy to just kiss you for an hour and a half if you're not ready."

"no," you whined, crinkling your nose. "it's not that, i just…" you took a breath. "i might just need you to take it a little slow."

"well, baby, you're in luck," he said, giving you a teasing smirk as his lips closed in on yours again. "slow and steady is exactly how i want you."

karol had said you hated men. she hadn't been wrong. you hated a lot of men, and how they made you feel like a prisoner in your own body. you hated the men you had encountered in your past, who made you feel small and weak. ugly and only wanted for one purpose, disrespecting your boundaries, your presentation, and your being. you hated those men, and nothing would ever redeem them for you.

joshua was different, though. he wasn't like them, because even though you didn't say explicitly why you needed a little extra care, he was more than prepared to give it to you. without even needing specific direction, he paid special attention to your reactions. to your body. he waited until you were ready, and asking him for more. and even when he sheepishly admitted that he'd started carrying a condom in his wallet the month prior, you could only giggle and silently be overwhelmingly thankful that he was truly nothing like any man you had ever been with before.

you swore you had made the same recipe you always did, but your curry tasted sweeter than you remembered. maybe it was just that you were eating it in your underwear with a man that made you feel comfortable in your skin for the first time in forever, a home improvement show remaining unwatched on your tv as the two of you joked together.

joshua woke the next morning in your empty bed, and was only confused for a second as he looked around your white walls. he stretched once, then sat up, eyes meandering over your orange patterned rug (one he remembered describing as "groovy" when he had first seen it, which had made you laugh in that way he adored), then noticed your laptop had been turned on. it was saturday, he realized, and you were likely going to edit today so you wouldn't have to tomorrow. he decidedly did not peek, though he wanted to, and peeked out your bedroom door instead.

you were easy to find, standing in your kitchen with an oversized shirt on and your hair pulled out of your face as you formed rice balls. you looked up from your work, smiling when you saw him, placing the triangle of rice you had just made on the cutting board. "good morning!"

it was, he thought. it was a really good morning.

you teased him for hugging you in your kitchen while he was only wearing underwear, saying that he seemed to have made himself comfortable quickly. he just playfully ran his hands under your shirt, saying, well, what about you, then? making breakfast with no pants on?

"i live here," you said, giggling and using your hip to bump him away. "i pay rent. what do you do?"

his eyes darted away from yours as he thought. "sit still, look pretty?"

that made you laugh. "you are very pretty."

he grinned, taking the opportunity to pull you into his chest again. "you, too."

he looked at what you had made, noticing the pot on the stove for the first time.

"soybean paste soup," you said, reacting to his gaze, then pointed at the neat triangles of brown tinted rice in front of you. "mushroom riceballs, and i'm making tamagoyaki next."

joshua blinked at you after processing everything. "do you do this every morning?"

"not every morning," you giggled. "but i wanted to today."

weeks later, you were biting your pinky nail to oblivion as you scrolled through comments on the video you had posted earlier that morning. you were sitting on the couch in joshua's living room, your laptop perched on the arm and your boyfriend fixing something to eat before the two of you sat to watch a movie. you had made a risky move in your video - one you thought would have been fine, but clearly people read more into it than you expected. joshua came over for dinner earlier in the week, when you had made pasta with all the delicious fresh seafood the two of you had found at a market the day before, accompanied by a simple salad and white wine. karol was working late, so you had set some aside for her, but that meant it was just you and joshua in frame when you filmed your usual table setting shot.

people were speculating.

you knew it was inevitable, and a few comments had pointed out the man that had eaten sushi with you in the vlog that included your first date, but at this point, the comments were flooded with questions and hypotheses on who the mystery man could be. most assumed boyfriend - which, while true, made you feel slightly annoyed - and a few wondered if he was your brother, or close friend, but they all noticed that his hands and voice had become regular guest stars on your channel. that, while you still got meals with krys and karol, this nameless, faceless man sat opposite you more often than anyone else.

the jeonju vlog is what sparked the most comments. people suspected some amount of intimacy when they realized this guy was travelling with you, too, and you probably would have thought the same if it had been someone you watched regularly. you had been careful with the editing, only including clips with food and the scenery shots that didn't star him (while you had filmed a lot that did, those were just for your own personal record), but you supposed it was in peoples' nature to try and find a romantic plotline in your slice of life.

"josh?" you said suddenly, pulling your pinky from between your teeth. you heard his vague noise of acknowledgment and spun around on the couch to watch as he cocked his head at you from the kitchen. "should we go public?"

"uh," he paused, looking at the scallion pancake he was cooking, quickly grabbing the panhandle to flip it. "give me, like, two minutes and we can discuss? i'm almost done in here."

you puffed your cheeks out and nodded, turning back towards your computer. "okay, baby."

when joshua came into the living room, the spread he had quickly put together across a tray you had bought for him (because you wanted it, mostly, but karol would kill you if you brought more home), he put it on the coffee table and sat next to you, quickly addressing the subject again.

"people keep," you paused. his eyebrows raised, prompting you, but he only chewed on his bottom lip to let you take your time as you hugged your knees to your chest. "people keep assuming you're my boyfriend anyways, so i'm just thinking-" you exhaled sharply. "should we just say fuck it? just confirm that we're a couple?"

joshua studied you. "you've always been pretty private."

you chewed your cheek, putting your lips against your knees. "that's on purpose."

"you don't have to say anything you don't want to," he reminded you, rubbing a hand against your back. you put your chin on your knees and gave him your biggest doe eyes, making him smile. "they can speculate all they want, but you don't owe them an explanation."

you nodded lightly as you hugged your legs and looked around, briefly studying the tray joshua had brought over. he had quickly stirfried some vegetables, grilled the frozen pork belly slices he always kept on hand, and even cooked your favorite premade scallion pancakes, the spread complete with several side dishes you had made together earlier in the week and two bowls of rice. your brows knit together, fingers itching to film how neatly he had put together a light meal for the two of you because you had said you wanted to show him your favorite movie without interruption, and he knew you would be hungry soon.

"would you-" you cleared your throat, looking up from the food and finding his eyes. "what do you think i should do?"

he let out a breathy laugh. "does it matter? you'll do what you want anyways."

you whined, pushing his shoulder as your feet dropped from the couch. "i'm serious, your opinion matters here. would you be okay with being public?"

"you're joking, right?" he laughed, adjusting his posture, and grabbing your hand to folding it between his. "baby, you know i care about you, right?"

your lips pursed as you nodded, looking between his eyes shyly.

"and you know i would never try to say that i, like, own you, right? like, i don't claim ownership over you as a person."

you let out a short laugh. "right."

he held your hand tighter. "i want to tell every viewer of every single one of your videos that you are mine."

your cheek puffed out as you smiled. "really?"

"especially the reply guys, oh my gosh," he rolled his eyes, making you laugh. "there's a place i think you'd like! i could take you, smiley face. yeah, get lost, creep. move along."

your palm landed on your cheek as you laughed. "shut up, are you serious?"

"you don't see those?" his eyes wide when you shook your head. "baby, there's so many people trying to take you out in the comments. so many."

you giggled, pressing your lips together. "well, there's only one guy that gets to."

"that's right," joshua said, a proud look on his face. "the ultimate reply guy fanboy."

you pushed his chest, laughing again. "shut up."

you decided an faq would do, but in the style of your regular videos. you definitely didn't want to just sit down in front of your camera and talk through questions and answers - that wasn't your style, and would feel wrong uploading. so instead, you spent a few hours compiling questions you had been asked often and organized them in a way that made sense, planning on showing your daily life. questions like what camera you used, what your go-to quick breakfast is, where you bought the clothes you liked - it was easy to plan them out to create a vague storyline of your standard day. you woke up on a wednesday (a day you went to the studio, because many of your questions were about what goes on there), excited to film but slightly nervous. as you set up your camera for breakfast, your phone buzzed on the counter.

joshie: good morning, baby! you got this! can't wait to see you tonight 🥰

you: 🥺🥺🥺 thank you!

the day went well, filming your planned clips on the subway and at the studio, and when your coworker asked what all the questions you were filming for were, you sighed.

"normal stuff," you said quickly, taking off your apron after several hours of cooking and shooting. "favorite recipes, what equipment i use… y'know."

yunhyeong nodded at you, his eyes squinting slightly. "is that all?"

he knew you. he knew how you reacted when you were nervous. how you could practically hide it from anyone, but that certain subjects would always make your eyes look slightly panicked and your speech speed up. the worst part is that you knew he knew, and your facade was almost immediately broken.

"and if i have a boyfriend."

he stared at you for a second before he laughed in disbelief. it took him over a week of bugging you about the guy in your videos before you admitted you were seeing someone, and even then, you only did because joshua had started picking you up from the studio and - against your wishes - introduced himself to your coworkers. yunhyeong thought about how protective you were of your privacy, and how you had never revealed something as personal as a relationship online before - partly because none of the people you had gone on two or three dates with had been serious enough to reveal, but he mostly thought about how you barely even showed your own face. that you stayed mostly silent when you filmed, and if you had to speak, it was a voice that was only adjacent to your usual cadence, as if you were trying to create another barrier between you and your online persona. how you had mourned your grandfather's passing and uploaded your vlog like normal two days later, but called out of work for the week following.

"and you're telling the truth?"

you exhaled, wiping down the stove top now that it had cooled. "yeah, shua and i discussed it. people are speculating, anyways, and it's not like he's going anywhere any time soon."

yunhyeong nodded again, organizing the spices as he put them away. "i'm happy for you."

you looked at him. "what do you mean?"

"it's a big step," he said, purposefully keeping his eyes from you so you didn't get self conscious. "you haven't been this serious about someone the entire time i've known you. i think it's really great that you found someone you care about."

you watched him spin bottles to be label out as you considered his words. "thanks."

he peeked at you, smiling. "of course."

yunhyeong's words rattled in your mind as you walked to the restaurant joshua had agreed to meet you at, filming your feet as you went with the intention of answering a few random questions with on-screen text in the edit. someone you care about.

you thought about how joshua had said the same thing about you when you had asked if going public was something he would be comfortable with. the way it has made your heart flutter. you wondered, briefly, if perhaps this was something more than just caring.

when you were editing the video that saturday, you procrastinated on the last question as long as you could, and when it was the only thing left to do, you escaped to the kitchen to make lunch in favor of finishing the part that was haunting you. your bagel sandwich was delicious, but you could barely enjoy it, mind clouded by the task that made your anxiety peak for seemingly no good reason.

it took you too long to finish it.

when you showed it to joshua, wanting his blessing before you uploaded, he couldn't hide his giddy reaction.

"it's okay?" you confirmed, studying his face.

he nodded at you, lips pushed together into a lopsided smile. "it's really cute."

"cute?" you asked, clicking through the video. "that's good, right?"

"yes," he laughed, squeezing your shoulder to put a kiss on your head. "it's great. post it."

so you did. and while you had gotten a tiny bump when krys excitedly dragged the two of you onto her stream that afternoon, you had no way of predicting the way the rest of the internet picked it up a few weeks later.

"r/relationshipgoals," jeonghan read off his phone, leaning against your kitchen island along with several of your friends that had come over when they saw the two of you on their newsfeeds unprompted. "'cross post from r/cutecouples, the most heartwarming boyfriend reveal you'll see this year.'"

"twitter, too," karol announced looking up from her own phone, seated in a barstool beside him. "you're a twitter moment. people found the clip from krys' stream, even."

you were on the counter opposite them, kicking your feet nervously to the beat in your head as you chewed your lip. you sighed and covered your face. "how long is this gonna last?"

"a while, hopefully," krys said, turning your laptop screen towards you. "your subcounts are insane right now."

you whined into your hands, making joshua appear at your side to put a hand on your spine. you took a breath at the touch, relaxing your tensed thighs on the counter. "it's okay to be nervous," he muttered at you. "but it's also kinda exciting, right?"

you exhaled deeply, letting your hands fall and your eyes trail to his before a smile broke on your face. "kinda."

so after you calmed yourself down, you managed to go through some of the posts about you, and you surprised yourself by letting them put a smile on your face. even the idea of having a public relationship had scared you shitless less than a month prior, but this… this wasn't so bad. seeing twitter repost the same video of you filming your feet as you walked into a restaurant, panning the camera up to reveal joshua sitting at a table and waving excitedly at you. the cuts you made to show clips that had landed on the cutting room floor of past videos - the footage you had taken of him pointing out the new wok you had started using a few weeks prior in a kitchen specialty store, and the goofy face he revealed after holding it in front of himself as he brought it back to you. the video of joshua grasping your hand, panning up to his playfully serious face as he dragged you down a boardwalk in jeonju, gesturing to the sunset. the unedited audio from your first date, when you had said something about it looking really good, and he had said something along the lines of how it would have been a waste if you hadn't recorded, and the two of you giggled together in a way that nervous new couples did. short bits of you swinging your camera around to reveal a laughing joshua as you tried to film quiet shots. a clip of him wearing a triangular menu on his head like a hat, acting as though it was completely normal.

you had a hard time believing anything you ever did would be viral-worthy, but even you had to admit, this was a pretty understandable thing for you to go viral for.

besides, it felt like it made sense for this to be the one thing about your personal life that ended up getting attention. it felt like he was an innate part of you at this point, and that you wouldn't be honest if you hid him.

it was august when he broke your heart.

"how could you?" you asked him, staring in disbelief. "you haven't seen lord of the rings?"

"okay, i lied," joshua said, still washing the dishes. "i saw them when i was a kid, but i don't remember them really."

"well, we're fixing that."

he looked at where you were sitting on his kitchen island - a well known habit of yours at this point. "today?"

"not today," you said, poking your toe at his hip. "this weekend, maybe? if we start now, we'll be watching til you go to work tomorrow morning."

he shut off the faucet and gingerly placed the pan he had just washed on the drying rack. "how many movies is it? i thought it was just three."

"it is," you said, laughing at his shocked look. "the extended editions are around four hours each."

joshua exhaled, leaning against the counter as he used a cloth to dry his hands. "you're lucky i like wasting hours with you."

you grinned, hopping down from your seat. "you're lucky i let you."

and that weekend, the two of you did just that - waste time, ordering delivery food for two meals as you camped out on the couch in various positions as the two of you got comfortable repeatedly. you couldn't help but recite specific lines, mouthing along with every word gandalf said like you had thought of the words yourself. you pointed out behind the scenes facts along the way, even, excitedly saying viggo broke two toes when he kicked that helmet, or how faramir's flames were a mirror trick. joshua watched you, because while he knew it was your favorite movie and he really should pay attention, he couldn't help but get distracted by his own favorite movie, and it starred you getting excited about something you loved.

you slept later than joshua that sunday, and when you emerged from the bedroom, you spotted krys sitting at the island with a plate of waffles in front of her, then found joshua leaned against the counter with a cup of coffee. he smiled when he saw you.

"i made breakfast," he said, gesturing to the counter.

you looked around at the spread as you walked over to him. waffles, fruit, bacon, and the promise of a fried egg upon request - a spread worthy of your own brunching standards. "what about second breakfast?" you asked quietly, in accented english.

joshua laughed, his arm wrapping around your midsection as you came over to kiss him good morning. "elevensies?" he shot back, in the same vague accent.

you broke your serious face to giggle. "luncheon?"

"alright," krys said, voice raised in annoyance when the two of you looked over at her. "i get it, y'all are in love or whatever, but can you have some respect for those of us who are lonely?"

you rolled your eyes, laughing at the fact that she had absolutely brought this upon herself by forcing the two of you together every chance she got, but joshua went cold when he heard her say the thing he had been thinking for a while, but was too scared to say out loud. the thing he felt when you grabbed his arm and told him that if he wouldn't let you carry the ring, then you could at least carry him with all the same dramatics as one samwise gamgee did. when you cried as frodo and bilbo sailed into the sunset for good, even though you had seen it a million times over. the sneaking thought that he was in love with you, but didn't know how to say so. he swallowed down the thought, shaking his head when you raised a questioning brow at him as you dished up a plate of waffles and fruit.

it didn't take you long to trust joshua enough to give him your door code so he could let himself in, but it took him a while to actually use it. he said something about not wanting to intrude, but you told him it was more intrusive to make you come to the door when you could possibly be doing important things and he was completely capable of getting in on his own.

"babe?"

you hissed. you had the thought right before you started this boss battle, that he would arrive before you finished and you would be trapped at your computer. you were right. "in here! gimme like two minutes!"

you heard him enter your room, and his bubbly laugh when he spotted your back at your desk desperately clicking your mouse and striking your keyboard. "wow, is this what you meant by important things?"

"please, please, please," you whined, intermittently squealing as you reacted to the enemy attacks. "i'll get off in a second i just need one more cleansing heart to ascend xin- fuck! not the stupid birds!"

he laughed again, his hand finding the back of your shoulder, thumbs pressing into the constantly sore flesh. you winced as he kneaded his fingers into your shoulder but exhaled, making him laugh lightly when you got knocked over by a boar. "hey, there's a boar there."

"yes, thank you, joshua." you quickly cracked a knuckle as soon as you had down time, sticking your neck out as he continued to massage your shoulders. "i think i have two more waves."

"waves? because it's a water level?"

you groaned into a reluctant laugh. "no shitty jokes right now, i'm trying to focus. normally krys and i co-op this one but she was busy."

he hummed, moving to stand next to you with his hand resting at the base of your neck. "wonder what she was doing."

"don't you live with her?" you teasingly asked, glancing up at him for the first time while sprinting across the platform, your game camera spinning uncontrollably when you suddenly pulled both hands to your mouth and gasped. "what the fuck, joshua?"

he stifled a grin, but it was completely obvious in his eyes as you stared up at him, blonde hair curled lightly to stay out of his face. "what's up?"

you stood from your chair, inspecting his head. "what the fuck?"

he laughed, wrapping his arms around you when you ran your fingers through his bleached locks hesitantly. "do you hate it?"

"i-" you blinked at him repeatedly. "what? no, i don't hate- what the fuck, joshua?"

"what?" he whined, eyebrows tenting at you even though his lips were still smiling. "does it not suit me?"

you held his head and squinted at him. "josh, you're hot. you look hot. but what the fuck?"

he laughed, finally planting his hello kiss on your lips. he watched the gears turn behind your eyes, puckered lips becoming a pout.

"did you go to a salon?"

he grinned. "krys did it."

you made a fist at him, scrunching your face for a second as you exhaled, looking down at the screen right as your last team member died, respawning at a statue. "that's why she used so many smiley faces when she said she was busy."

he put his lips to your cheek, smiling into your skin. "not bad though, right? you got a pretty handsome boyfriend."

and while you would have loved to roll your eyes and tease him, you were overtaken by a giggle as you turned your head towards him again, the tip of his nose gliding across your cheek. "yeah, i do."

his eyebrows went up. "wow, wasn't expecting you to admit it so readily."

you laughed, a light, carefree laugh, your palms on his jaw as you kissed him. "i have eyes, joshua." he just smiled against your lips, lacing his fingers together behind your tailbone, and you pulled away slightly to look up at his hair again. your hands went to his nape, fingertips against his scalp. "how long did it take? you have thick hair."

"we did three sessions," he said. "enjoy it while you can, it might fall out."

you laughed with him, brushing your fingers gently in his bangs again. "it feels fine, though?"

"yeah, i made this incredible discovery that i'm almost positive i'm the first to hear about it. it's called a hair treatment."

you batted at his chest, giggling. "shut up."

"make me," he said, the sweet smile on his lips making the phrase more playful than suggestive.

"i can't believe you surprised me with bleached hair," you said, plopping into your seat and exiting the game. "you know i hate surprises, right?"

"that's too bad," he said, his hand returning to rub against your neck. "i like surprises a lot. get used to them."

you puffed out your cheeks, sighing slowly. "usually people compromise."

"not on this," he stated. "i'm a gift giver."

"yeah, i figured that out when you got flowers sent to the studio on our one month anniversary, then again on our second, then here on our third…"

he was just smiling smugly at you when you stood again, maneuvering around him. "and you love getting them?"

you rolled your eyes, not even commenting when he playfully patted your butt as you went by. "they're always tasteful and it's nice to have some seasonal flowers for the counter."

"so you love them," he repeated. "because it sounds to me like you love them."

you laughed, reaching out to catch his hand in yours and pull him along with you as you exited to the main living area. "and what if i do? so what, joshua hong, if it makes my heart beat a little fast when we suddenly get flowers delivered and i realize it's the fourteenth? are you gonna call me a hypocrite because i vocally advocate that traditional chivalry is bullshit?"

he just listened to your playful accusation, more proving that you were self aware rather than egging him on. "no way," he said plainly. "you can still think traditional chivalry is bullshit, it won't stop me from trying to make you smile."

you felt your face heating up, your jaw dropping slightly to let out an annoyed huff. "cheesy, joshua. i'm offended."

"want me to make it worse?" he asked, wrapping his arms around your waist.

your hands landed on his chest as you squinted at his grin. "i'm scared."

he gave you a crooked grin. "happy one hundred days. i brought sushi."

your head whipped over to the counter, spotting the paper bag with a familiar logo. "from nori table?"

"of course, from nori table."

joshua had promised jeonghan that you would make an appearance as a couple at a party he was throwing the next day, and you found yourself almost nervous. you got on with jeonghan famously - almost enough to drive joshua insane - and you even warmed up to seokmin pretty quickly, but from what you had been told, jeonghan enjoyed partying, and you didn't really like getting drunk.

"you made it!" seokmin grinned big, spreading his arms to signal for you to let him wrap you in a hug. you laughed and greeted him, enjoying the friendly comfort, then watching him hug joshua after he let you go. "and you're blonde! life's good?"

"yeah," joshua said, making eye contact with you briefly as his fingers tangled with yours. "life's good. you?"

seokmin blinked before he said "yeah, good!" and your brow knit slightly before you consciously adjusted your face to hide the analysis of his hesitation happening behind your eyes. "this is your first time here, right?"

you nodded, smiling and following him as he led you into the crowded apartment. "yeah, it's been busy lately. but i finally made it to one!"

"well, you need to meet my friends," he said, continuously looking back at you even as he walked ahead, towards a corner of the living room. "you're gonna love them."

"aye, josh!"

you looked to the source of the call, spotting the guy pulling himself to his feet from his seat on the couch, arms wide in greeting to your boyfriend.

"hey, hosh," joshua said, a sideways grin on and his brows tented as he gave him a quick handshake into a hug. quickly, he put a hand on your opposite shoulder, pulling you towards him and quickly introducing you.

soonyoung initially went in for a hug after your introduction, but immediately noticed the way your eyes widened slightly and instantly pulled his arms down, leaving a hand extended for you to shake. you laughed, taking it, and apologized for not being a hugger.

"no worries," soonyoung laughed, and you wondered if he was always this pink in the face or if he had already started drinking. "seokmin will hug me, right?"

"everyone!" seokmin ignored him, pulling you towards the people gathered on and around the couch. he announced you to his friends then quickly went down the line - soonyoung, seungkwan, jihoon, dongmin, yugyeom - you repeated the names back to him like you would remember all of them, even though you knew you wouldn't unless they became regulars in your life, too.

jeonghan flitted by and expressed his greetings to you both some time later, intending to abscond with joshua for drinks and conversation elsewhere, but he stopped jeonghan from pulling him away before he put a hand on your elbow, looking at you meaningfully.

"i'll be okay," you told him, smiling. "go ahead."

he squinted at you. "you sure?"

"seokmin's here," you reminded him, nodding your head at the boy you had practically adopted as your own brother. "real quick, about soonyoung-"

he quirked an eyebrow at you. "what about him?"

you chewed your lip, smiling. "karol's been a little too focused on work lately, right?"

his eyes widened, thinking about your roommate. his eyes went to the man you had referenced, who was currently chanting something into seungkwan's face as he rolled his eyes. "karol?"

"what do you think?" you asked, looking back at soonyoung.

he blinked. "i think he'll drive her insane."

your eyes shone at him. "i think she'll love it."

he laughed incredulously, registering that you had asked his opinion instead of just doing whatever pleased you, and he wondered if that meant you trusted him. "you're right," he said finally. "try it."

"of course i'm right," you said, giggling against the quick peck he put on your lips. "remove him, jeonghan."

"finally," an impatient host shot back, rolling his eyes in a way that landed in a sly smile at you. "for what it's worth, i think your plan will work."

"didn't need your approval, but i'll take it," you said, smiling smugly at him. "i'll update you later."

the update you gave the next time you saw him, weeks later, was that karol had left the apartment every week since to go be with soonyoung somewhere fun and exciting, and you waved her off with a shiteating grin every week, culminating in the two of them arriving to krys' birthday party hand in hand.

jeonghan laughed, stealing a carrot stick from your cutting board as you arranged them into a rainbow themed charcuterie platter. "knew it. soonyoung loves women stronger than him."

you looked at him as he took a bite. "and karol loves someone she can take care of."

"look at us," he said, waving the half eaten carrot between the two of you with a lopsided grin on his face. "what a duo. we should hang out more. fuck joshua."

you laughed at him, then at the offended look on your boyfriend's face as he walked past. "now?" you asked eyebrows raised as you looked at him expectantly, and he laughed when he realized what the last words out of jeonghan's mouth were seconds before.

"please, this is a child's birthday party," he reminded you, and you laughed at the overexaggerated look he gave you to sell the joke.

you looked over to where krys was laughing with seokmin, soonyoung, and karol, then back down to your work as you nudged around quartered figs with a vague smile on. "seems like the kids are having a nice time."

jeonghan sighed, falling dramatically against the counter. "oh, to be young and in love."

joshua laughed. "karol's our age."

his cheek was planted in his palm, elbow on the counter as he gazed after the group. "i'm talking about seokmin and krys."

"what?" joshua asked, voice nearly cracking, and you let out an explosive laugh. "seokmin and who?"

"stop acting stupid," jeonghan waved ahand at him, then popping his eyes up to catch your look of solidarity. he pointed at you. "see? we're on the same page, which means we're right."

joshua looked at you and you raised your hands in surrender. "are you serious?" he asked. "my sister and-"

you landed a hand on his face, effectively shutting him up as you giggled. "shush, josh. just leave it, okay?"

"good idea," jeonghan sighed, straightening and picking up the platter you had finished. "dining table?"

"please," you responded, looking back and giggling when joshua looked just as dumbfounded as he had before you looked away. "she's an adult. seokmin's a good guy. let it happen."

he closed his mouth, stealing a glance at his sister. "he is a kindergarten teacher."

"and both your best friend and your partner love him," you reminded him. "she could do worse."

he gave you a look. "she has done worse."

"shut up," you said, pushing his shoulder in your friend's defense. "you've done pretty bad, too."

his eyes went to the ceiling, remembering the accidental altercation you had been forced to have with one of his more regrettable exes. "how many times do i have to apologize-"

"you don't," you laughed, putting your hands on his cheeks and focusing his eyes on yours. "but krys is an adult. she's allowed to judge her own partners, and even if she ends up being wrong, she's old enough to make her own mistakes."

joshua huffed, knowing you were right but not wanting to admit it. "sorry i'm trying to protect my one and only baby sister."

"yes, and you're adorable," you assured him. "best big brother ever. but it's her birthday, and if you don't start getting drunk soon, she'll be very upset."

drinking with joshua was fun. because he wasn't much different than yourself - he didn't get crazy, he didn't get loud. he just got loose. he let stupider jokes out, and he was more willing to join in on krys' performative comedy bits throughout the night. you found yourself falling onto a couch with him, giggling as he caught his breath after a particularly involved musical number.

the most fun you had drinking with joshua was in itaewon, long past midnight but still what you considered halloween. you had been dragging karol with you for years, but now you had a boyfriend, and she had a boyfriend, and you both had a new joint best friend, so it only made sense for you to get them all take the train ride out to your favorite part of seoul.

ratatouille. that was the only way you could get joshua to go with you. he wanted a couples costume and he wanted you to be the rat.

"this feels backhanded," you told him.

"do you want to be linguine?" he asked. "i can be sexy remy. i can find grey hot pants, but you have to be the one to attach the the tail because i have no idea what my butt looks like."

you laughed, resigning to your fate and buying the outfit online, then looked at him suddenly. "liar. i know you check yourself out at the gym."

"okay," he said, eyes on the ceiling as he herded a giggling you into his arms. "then… i want it to be accurate, so you need to attach it directly at my tailbone." he cocked his head at you after you settled into the hug. "i have to be wearing them, obviously."

"obviously," you said. "but unfortunately, i already ordered the body suit."

josh pressed his lips together and made a quick fist in victory. "awesome. i-i mean! aww, well, that's fine, i suppose." he sighed dramatically, convincing absolutely no one that he hadn't wanted this outcome all along. "i'll be linguine."

"i don't feel like fighting a bunch of gays in itaewon for your affection anyways," you said, making him laugh and kiss your cheek quickly before pulling away.

"grilled cheese?"

"is that even a question?"

it wasn't a question when you were weaving through throngs of bunnies and angels, either, holding hands with both him and his sister to not lose them in the crowd, karol and soonyoung trailing behind krys, all five of you on a mission to get carbs in you after starting the night off nearly too strong.

halloween in itaewon was different. it was special, you thought. you usually didn't like crowds, but this one felt good. halloween wasn't a celebrated holiday in korea, but with internet, influencers, and immigrants, the culture found its way into the new age scene. you loved an excuse to celebrate your favorite characters by paying them homage, and joshua had thought that was a noble enough reason for him to justify staying up too late and drinking too much.

you had just left the diner themed bar that you devoured griddle top sandwiches from, as well as another drink, and you spotted a familiar angel making a beeline for you.

well, not you.

"how many times have i tried to get you to come to itaewon with me?" jeonghan asked, pushing joshua's shoulder as soon as he could reach it.

joshua laughed, looking shocked by the sudden appearance of his friend. "you never agreed to be remy!"

jeonghan looked at you, and burst into laughter, making your jaw drop in indignance and whacking your fist against both their arms. "at least we're original. way to put in the effort, han."

he shrugged bringing a straw to his mouth, and you eyed the pink liquid that had clearly been funnelled into a water bottle. "i look better than all these clowns and you know it."

"there you are!"

jeonghan spun, the straw still in his mouth. "shit, i haven't lost you?"

seokmin gave him a sarcastic laugh, adjusting the shoulder of his soccer jersey as he walked up behind him, quickly adding to your small circle as he greeted you and joshua. you stepped aside suddenly, revealing the members of your party that had been lagging behind. "o-oh! it's all of you!"

you made brief eye contact with joshua, who was trying to not laugh at your less than subtle attempt. "you match!" you said quickly, pointing out that krys was dressed as a baseball player. "baseball, soccer," you trailed off, looking around for help.

"sports couple," jeonghan said loudly, slipping you a quick look. "cute."

soonyoung had to put his entire palm over his mouth to stop himself from exploding into giggles when seokmin went red in the ears and krys tried to change the subject as kindly as she could manage.

when you finally made it back into joshua's room, it was far too late (early? you could think about it more, but you preferred resigning to the fact that the passage of time was beyond you and moving on), the sun already starting to light the sky as it prepared to break the horizon. when you stole his toque of his head, he put his hand on your waist, backing you up against the closet door and gently working his lips onto yours.

you giggled, your arms landing on his shoulders. "aren't you tired?

"yeah, but," his eyes fluttering over your face. "i just really like you."

you were smiling when he pressed his lips to yours again. "i really like you, too, but we've been at a sweaty block party all night and we need to shower."

"together?" he asked, a spot of childish hope in his voice. "singular shower?"

you sighed on his lips, playfully threading your fingers against his nape. "if you want?"

the hot water felt especially good after trekking home in the cold without a jacket. and even though it was just meant to be a shower, he kept kissing you like it was something more, pressing you against the tiled wall and running his hands all over your shape. you couldn't stop giggling. pushing his hands away, saying you need to wash up, but giving him looks like you wanted him to keep going. you were running your hands over his chest, rinsing away suds, when joshua couldn't help but put a hand at the base of your neck, tipping your head slightly to deepen an already heated kiss.

"cut it out," you muttered against his lips, feeling them curve despite your eyes staying shut.

"cut what out?"

you looked at him, barely processing anything other than how incredibly handsome he was, even with his lashes stuck together with moisture and his hair slicked back against his head. "trying to fuck me in a shower stall."

he laughed teasingly, leaning into you again. "then why'd you agree to come in here with me?"

your back hit the tile again, and you giggled. "to save water."

and then he's kissing you again, a hand steady on your nape as he worked you open, tongue lapping against yours with a desperation that could only mean one thing. you whimpered dumbly, the squeaky whine escaping you with no difficulty as your hands ran up his chest, your grip longing for any amount of him you could get.

his lips leave you abruptly, asking if this was too much. if you wanted to stop. but you shook your head at him, hands eager to feel more of his shoulders, his neck, his scalp, despite your legs starting to give out. steam drifted between you when you told him your legs felt like jello from your full shift of partying, and if he didn't want to hold you up, you should probably take this to bed.

you were giggling as you frantically dried each other off, stealing kisses that were far too deep to be so short and longing touches that could have been interpreted as purposeful drying if you squinted hard enough, but felt much more like careful teasing. his hands felt right running up your body, and your hair was still damp, but that didn't bother either of you when you fell into bed together.

"i cant believe you want to fuck me when i was dressed like a literal rat," you teased.

he laughed, tugging your thigh up on his hip as his nose nuzzled against yours. "a sexy rat."

you giggled, lips parting when he kissed you. "a rat from a pixar movie."

he didn't miss a beat. "a sexy rat from a pixar movie."

you roll your damn eyes at him, and he just laughs, knowing that it mattered very little what you were wearing before, because now you were bare, clean, and safe in his bed, which was exactly where he wanted you for the rest of forever.

the sun was past its peak when you woke, stretching your sore spine and legs with joshua's arm draped over you. his hand seemed to wake before he did, finding your hip and squeezing gently as he took in his signature first breath of the day.

"g'morning." you smiled at his soft voice as he squinted at you, and you rolled into him to plant a kiss on his lips.

"it's almost two," you said finally.

he groaned, burying his face in the pillow. "too early." his grip around you tightened, making you giggle. "nap time."

you whined. "i wanna make coffee before it gets too late."

"i said nap time," he muttered, face still against the pillow.

"baby, i have a headache."

his head popped up, squinting at the bedside. "there's water."

you laughed incredulously. "i need caffeine."

he just pulled you tighter. "i need you here."

"wow," you said, wrapping your arms around him as he snuggled into your chest. "would rather i suffer from a caffeine headache for your own selfish need to cuddle than let me escape for two minutes to make a coffee and come back?"

he smiled, rubbing his cheek against your sternum. "mhmm."

you giggled, carding your fingers through his hair and resigning to a few more precious moments of uninterrupted snuggling before you could relieve the vague aching in your temples.

he did eventually let you slip out of his grasp, and you asked if he wanted a coffee, too, to which he just blearily blinked at you and nodded once. you laughed, finding a shirt in a drawer and pulling it over your head before exiting to the kitchen.

you hit the kettle first, having a craving for a hot cup of coffee rather than the usual iced, grabbing a mug and glass from a cabinet. the espresso machine sat on the long counter against the windowed outer wall, and your eyes danced across the outside world as you made the two coffees. when you returned to the bedroom, joshua was on his phone, and when you cleared your throat, he dropped his phone on the pillow and pretended to be asleep, complete with a loud snore.

you giggled, sitting on the edge of the bed and nudging him carefully. "get up or i'll put the glass on your neck."

he winced at the idea. "evil," he stated plainly, flopping around to comfortably sit up and taking the iced coffee from you.

you sipped your coffee and put it on the bedside table to swing your feet back under the covers. you shoved at the pillows to support your back as you sat, grabbing your coffee and phone to begin your weekend morning routine of checking the news as you sipped at an americano. "i brought you coffee in bed at two pm. i think i'm pretty saintly."

he gave you a fake laugh, making you giggle and push your foot against his leg under the covers in a half hearted kick. "is that why you said 'oh, god' so much last night?"

you groaned. "gross, joshua. and for the record," you said, eyeing him slyly as a smile broke out on your lips. "that was this morning."

"time is an illusion," he declared, taking a gulp from his coffee and setting it down to get more comfortable beside you as you began to read an article. "are we doing anything today?"

you shook your head, eyes still focused on your screen. "nada."

"nothin'?" joshua fished.

"zilch," you concluded.

"rad," he decided, a light tone in his voice as he grabbed his phone to resume whatever he had been doing before you returned. "do you wanna order breakfast?"

you let out a breath, your head falling back as you looked at him. "yes, oh my god."

he laughed, and his eyes ran over your face in a way you recognized well at this point. to you, it was him just smiling back at you, and you liked that it reached his eyes. but to him, it was the way he looked at you when he was memorizing all the little reasons he adored you, and it was getting harder for him to pretend it wasn't more than just simple adoration.

"question," he started, eyes darting away from yours as he licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed quickly.

"pasta," you said immediately, pulling your phone to your chest as you gave him your biggest, most convincing eyes before a finger came up to demonstrate a point. "and before you say that's not a breakfast food, i would like to remind you that it is 2pm and i had to sit through a hundred of your italian food puns yesterday despite ratatouille being set in france."

he laughed, and you gave him a confused look. "we can get pasta, but that wasn't the question."

your eyebrow quirked. "what other question could you possibly ask me right now?"

unknowingly, joshua let his face settle into the same look he was giving you less than a minute earlier. "would you want to move in?"

your eyes ran over his face repeatedly, trying to register how serious he was as you considered the idea of staying in this comforting bed and presence for the indefinite future, and even you couldn't hide how nice that sounded. the only thing stopping you was that you couldn't bear to leave karol alone. you had been living together for over four years now, she had been your first roommate in korea, your best friend for years, and an inexplicable source of quiet but understanding comfort for you.

"i understand," joshua assured you, placing his hand over yours after you expressed your hesitation. "i don't know what i'll do with myself when krys decides to move out."

you nodded, studying his face but mind wandering to other things. "krys," you hummed, and he eyed you.

"what genius plan is that brain brewing?"

you shook your head, brushing the thought out of your mind - the thought that krys had said something about needing to find a new place soon. the thought that she had said she was never gonna properly grow up when josh was taking care of her, whether she wanted him to or not. "nothing."

but it wasn't nothing. it was a compromise - you and krys would swap leases.

"are you sure?" you asked her, elbows on the island as krys ate the donuts you had anxiously made that morning. you had brought up the idea to her days before, and she excitedly agreed, but something about it felt too easy to you.

"yes," she assured you, wiping her bottom lip clear of powdered sugar. "i swear, i'm sure. how many times do i have to say it?"

you chewed your cheek. "i don't want you to feel like i'm kicking you out."

"you're not kicking me out," she said matter of factly. "i'm moving out. it just happens to be the same day as you're moving in."

you pouted. "and you're moving into my apartment."

"yeah," she said, nodding. "i get to pay lower rent and have south facing windows in my room. i should feel bad about kicking you out."

it took almost a month to organize everything, but by early december you were just waiting for the date. you purposefully scheduled for a weekend, in order to not disrupt krys' streaming schedule and your video uploads, since you had planned to do a separate moving vlog about safely packing tableware. the weekend before, krys came over to her soon-to-be home for your usual monthly brunch.

flipping pancakes that day felt a little somber, knowing it was the last time you'd be cooking brunch while living with karol. you had been with her for four years, and it felt surreal that you were finally parting ways like this. not only that, but you were moving in with a guy. the idea itself scared the shit out of you - cohabitating with someone other than karol. you'd be sharing a room. sharing a kitchen. sharing all of your space - normally, that would scare you away from agreeing, but something about joshua made you feel safe. he made you feel like you would never try to get back the distance you generally held so dear.

months ago, the idea of sharing space like that while trying to decompress would be unimaginable, but recently, you found alone time with joshua just as healing as alone time with yourself, so the idea of being able to snuggle into his side every night actually put a warm feeling in your stomach. you looked at your friends, who were laughing and drinking bloody marys as you tried to keep up with their conversation. your brain swirled, and you looked back down at the strawberries you were cutting, suddenly realizing you had never felt that way about a boy before.

"woah, you okay, babe?" krys bobbed her head downwards to check your face. "are you crying? i thought only onions did that to you."

you threw your head back, sniffling noisily trying to force the tears back under your ducts. karol stood. "oh, my god, what's wrong?" she frantically put down her drink and rushed around the counter to your side.

"wait, yeah-" krys shook her head rapidly, then reached over to take the knife out of your hand, her face creasing into a worried pout. "what's going on?"

you gathered yourself, embarrassed at how quickly you had cried so hard over such a stupid realization. you almost laughed, realizing what a scene you were making. you never cried. you weren't even sure either of them had seen it before now, yet you were ugly sobbing over something that they all probably already knew.

you swallowed harshly, clearing your throat. "i think i'm in love with josh."

krys and karol always knew you didn't truly care about the gender of your hypothetical partner, but that you had avoided men for a reason other than your attraction to them. they knew you gravitated towards women for practically your entire friendships with either of them, they knew that you never liked to get genuinely drunk and instead took care of the rest of them, and they knew you had never been very interested in sex. these were all known facts about you, and your friends understood that you kept the reasons for these facts close to your chest. they respected that.

but you finally wanted to share why. and the why was your ex.

when you had imagined telling your closest friends about your trauma, this certainly wasn't the situation you expected - crowded around the kitchen counter as your pancakes went cold, and only because you had burst into tears. it wasn't the right place, you thought, for you to talk about how he got you drunk. how you were practically asleep. how you tried to push him away but your body was weak with intoxication and you were powerless against him. someone you trusted. someone you loved.

you had always been the type to fight your own battles. you could stand up for yourself without difficulty, yet he made you scared of men. of what they could do to you. he reminded you that despite your effort to air on the androgynous, you had a body that some people might enjoy against your will. he made you want to hide everything about you and your body, wearing baggy shirts and oversized hoodies every chance you got, avoiding the unwanted gaze of men.

but recently, you've been wearing shorts more. you cropped some old shirts you never got use out of anymore to wear to your weekly yoga class. you had even bought a schoolgirl outfit for exactly one purpose, which had been entirely out of your comfort zone until roughly two months prior, but you had happily worn to please a man.

but in your defense, joshua hong was not like most men.

his appreciation of your body never felt predatory, and it always felt like it was bested by his appreciation of your mind. he didn't treat you like a prize, or like you were his for the taking. he appreciated your body as yours. while you may have found yourself the subject of his desire, you were never an object, and it had been a long time since you had felt comfortable wearing the clothes you liked in favor of opting for whatever would hide the most skin.

krys was crying. karol was too, but she was more focused on hugging you tight as you wiped off the tears that had trailed down your face. krys rounded the counter, loudly vocalising how much she loved you and everything about you, and you laughed out loud as she let out an exaggerated wail.

"actually, though," she said, pulling away slightly and sniffling. "drop the address. we're rolling up on this guy tomorrow."

you laughed again, wiping at your face when your arms were free. "wouldn't even know where to find him now."

"good!" karol declared. "fuck that guy! cut him out! you're a bad bitch!"

krys pouted. "i'm really happy josh helped you heal."

you stared at her for a second, registering that she must have been right. you eyes swam over the counter, thinking about all the times he had helped you feel more comfortable with yourself. with everything. enough to let someone in. enough to love. "i guess that's what this is, huh?"

karol cleared her throat. "so, you love him."

a grin broke out on krys' face, and your eyes immediately rolled. "you love him."

"you love him so bad."

"you wanna marry him and make adorable little hong babies."

"oh my god," you said, pressing the backs of your hands into your eye sockets, annoyed laughter on your lips as they bounced off each other. "you guys suck."

joshua started acting… odd. that was the only way you could describe it. there was nothing specific you could name - maybe the way his eyes were moving slightly too quickly from side to side? or maybe it was the way he inhaled a little extra when you asked him what was up, only for him to push his lips into an exaggerated pout and insist that nothing was. whatever it was, it made you watch him a little bit longer, your eyes squinting slightly more than usual.

you called him the day before, asking if you could bring some stuff over in hopes of making the next day as easy as possible, but his response was quick and surprising.

"what do you mean, no?" you laughed, putting down the wooden tray you were deciding the fate of. "do you have a girl over?"

you could hear him faltering on the other end. "and what if i did?"

"good luck getting her to make you breakfast."

he laughed. "i'm kidding. i have a guy over."

"oh?" you asked. "jeonghan?"

"shut up," he chuckled out. "i'm having something installed, but it was supposed to be a surprise."

"joshua," you reminded him, thinking of what the hell he could have meant by something. "i don't do surprises."

"you do now."

you groaned, a palm landing on your counter. "what is it?"

"a sex swing," he said plainly, as though that were the most obvious fact that you could have questioned, and you practically choked on your laughter, not even letting him confirm that he was joking before you were folded over your counter. and quite frankly, you could not wait another day to let him make you laugh like that as a routine.

you finally seceded, but you were glad when joshua arrived - the suv he rented loaded with krys' things - because it was a signifier that the distance between you and said surprise was shrinking quickly. soonyoung had become a surprisingly helpful voice of reason as you went through your piles of tablewares, telling you which ones to leave behind and which ones to take with you. seokmin had even arrived not long after the suv in his own car, a few brightly colored belongings in his backseat. you and karol exchanged a look when you realized he had volunteered to help krys move, but said nothing out loud, knowing she would do nothing but deny the obvious.

after yours and krys' affects were swapped in the car, you looked around one last time before telling josh you thought that was it.

"wait!" krys faltered, realizing she didn't have a good reason to stop you. "i- uh,"

"they know there's a surprise waiting for them," he said, digging the rental keys out of his jacket pocket.

karol looked to you. "do you know what it is?"

"of course not," joshua stated proudly before you could respond. "i'm like a steel trap."

you laughed. "that's definitely not how that phrase is meant to be used."

he raised a brow at you. "that doesn't change the fact that you could never get that info out of me."

"they absolutely could," karol said.

"for sure," krys agreed.

"i just wanted to let you have this," you admitted.

joshua looked between the three of you with his jaw slightly dropped, and seokmin put a hand over his mouth while crossing his arms to disguise the almost laugh on his lips.

"well, i want to see your reaction," krys decided. "so i'm coming."

"wait," soonyoung asked, putting down the retro boombox he had been investigating, among the other things that had been brought from the loft. "like, the surprise?"

"does everyone know about this but me?" you asked, hands hitting your sides in exasperation.

seokmin looked at you with wide, confused eyes. "i don't."

you lifted your hands in a vague prayer towards him. "thank you for your solidarity."

"i wanna see your face, too!" soonyoung said, ignoring you both. "you're gonna freak."

"joshua," you started, turning to him with a look of dread on your face. "what the fuck did you get?"

"i told you!" he exclaimed. "a sex swing!"

there was an excruciatingly long second of silence, making your palm land directly on your face - just above your eye - before seokmin let out a surprised, "a what?"

"he's kidding," you announced, much to the teacher's relief. "and if he's not we're breaking up."

it was decided that the entire party would move to the loft for the surprise reveal, and you watched your friends pile into seokmin's car with your palms sweating slightly and your molars gently gnawing at the fleshy party of your cheek. because, truly, you didn't handle receiving gifts well when you knew what they were, but you didn't have a single clue as to what could be waiting for you in your new home, and that made you a little nervous to have an audience for your possibly piss poor reaction.

joshua's hand found yours on the drive to the apartment. "you okay?"

you blinked and looked over at him, his eyes catching yours between glances at the road. "i don't do surprises."

"so you've said," he nodded. his fingers squeezed at yours lightly and you exhaled. "do you want to know before we go in? you can just act surprised."

your felt your face soften, registering what he was offering you. "joshua, you don't have to do that-"

"i know," he said. "but if it makes you more comfortable, then…"

"no way," you said. "i'll just stop being a baby. you set up a surprise, the least i can do is participate the way you want me to."

he eyed you, then the way you laced your fingers with his. "but you are a baby."

you rolled your eyes. "shut up, no i'm not."

"my baby," he clarified, and you let out an involuntary giggle.

he was guiding you into the kitchen, his large hands placed over your eyes and covering most of your face by proxy, and you didn't quit your playful complaints for the crowd of your closest friends that had gathered around, their presence obvious despite your vision being impaired.

"ready?" joshua asked.

"josh, i literally hate surprises, do we have to do all this?"

"yes," he said frankly. "because i'm doing something nice for us and you're going to love it so can you shut up and let me do this the way i want to like you told me you wanted me to?"

you paused, hearing the way your friends stifled their laughter as you took in a deep breath.

"ready?" he repeated.

"yeah, i guess," you sighed.

the light was harsh when his hands left your face, and you blinked repeatedly at the kitchen that you spent countless hours in, registering what was different. then, it suddenly clicked, the stovetop joshua had always had was replaced by the blue vintage styled range of your dreams.

"joshua!" you gasped, hands going to your face as you spun to look at him, then back at the range. "you bought me a lacanche?!"

he grinned, hands snaking around your waist from behind as you stood frozen in place. "i bought us a lacanche."

seokmin leaned over to krys. "what's a le conch?"

she reached up and put a finger over his mouth, eyes fixed on you. "shh, they're communicating."

you rushed over to the range, joshua following behind you as you ran your hands over the polished chrome handles that you had stared at on the website for years. "and it's all hooked up?"

he nodded, eyes on you with a smile on his face. "tested it last night."

"without me?" you asked, incredulous.

he laughed. "i didn't want to ruin the surprise by burning the loft down directly after."

your finger fidgeted on the handle, looking over to joshua. he gestured for you to go ahead, and you pushed and spun the knob, lighting a burner and squealing. you shut it off again before launching yourself into a hug.

"joshua!" you wailed, arms wrapped around his neck as he laughed, putting his around your waist. "i love it so much ican'tbelieveyouboughtusafucking lacanche range in portuguese blue for no goddamn reason!"

"there was a reason!" he laughed, letting you pull away slightly to study his face. "it's a housewarming gift. i want you to know this place is yours, too, now."

you did your best to suck the tears back into the ducts they belonged in, trying to not show just how much the gesture meant to you in that way, but you were sure one escaped down your cheek when your hands went to the base of his skull, pulling him into a kiss. you forgot the context of the move. you forgot about your friends that had been excitedly crowded in your new kitchen, anticipating your over the top reaction to what they saw as just a new stove. you, however, were overwhelmed by the specifics - the fact that he had picked the color you chose most often when building your hypothetical dream stove on the website you frequented more often than you would ever admit. the fact that it matched the details on the tile of his kitchen backsplash, a detail you hadn't even noticed when you were looking at them online. the chrome vintage knobs, the layout of the burners - everything was exact to what he had seen you dream about, and you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the love and care that expressed, hoping you could tell him just how much it meant by working your lips against his.

"ok, gross," krys announced, looking away when the two of you didn't pull apart. "i'm saying goodbye to my wallpaper and we're leaving. would anyone else like to pay their respects?"

seokmin raised his hand, his eyes on the ceiling, and krys grabbed his arm and retreated towards the hall, karol telling them to hurry as soonyoung put up a hand to obstruct his view of you and joshua. when you finally pulled away, it wasn't for their reprieve, though they reacted as though it was. it was so you could look into joshua's eyes, creased with the grin on his face as you gave him a similar one, and you couldn't wait to cook with him, on your, plural, portuguese blue lacanche range, with chrome classique handles, four gas burners, a griddle, and a warming drawer. and it would be your best brunch yet.

#caratwritersclub #svtredroom #this part hits lol #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #joshua hong imagines #joshua hong fluff #joshua hong scenarios #joshua imagines #joshua scenarios #joshua fluff #fluff #i wrote dis #yes all the banners are based off movie posters #is this actually funny or am i just stupid #josh

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worlds-forgotten · 3 years

Text

Stranger

summary: A night between the events in the bar with the townsfolk and the battle with the Karyt dragon. Cobb offers his home to the newcomers, with pleasurable circumstances that follow.

pairing: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Cobb Vanth

warnings: smut, swearing

word count: 7.7k

rating: Mature

posted: 20/11/23

“It could have gone worse, ‘suppose.” Cobb kicked some sand as they exited the building, thumbing his belt and looking to the setting suns. The Mandalorian’s gaze followed that of the marshal’s, and he sighed. “Just glad they’re willing to work together, for now.”

The heat of the day was still fresh, despite the cool evening creeping in. Din felt it under his heavy armour - sweat behind his knees, on the back of his neck, in his gloves - if time and privacy allowed it, he may stray away from the town far enough to take off his gear and wipe down a bit, get some fresh air. But as he looked at the ground, where the foundling was just at his boot, Din realized he would need to settle the child in before anything else. They didn’t have any food or water left with them, and that night, he would be relying on the generosity of strangers to feed the kid. His own stomach could wait, despite the faint hunger pang he felt.

The bi-sunset created a warm, orange glow across the desert dunes, casting a feeling of security, even with the next day’s task ahead. It had been awhile since the Mandalorian felt he had the time to appreciate the scenery; Always on the run, looking for a job, tasked with an adventure, it didn't allow for a lot of sightseeing.

The child cooed and grasped Mando’s boot, so he leaned over and scooped him into his arms, before turning toward Vanth.

“He needs rest, and nourishment. Is there somewhere-”

“Ha!” Cobb loudly interrupted, patting Din roughly on the back. “Any visitor in my town is a friend to me. That includes your little pet here, follow me.”

Mando had the urge to correct the marshal as he followed him that the kid wasn’t a pet, but he didn’t have an accurate description of what he was, so he left it, opting to stay silent as he crossed the town’s main roadway and into a hut tucked in the far end.

Inside wasn’t anything particularly special, just some basic furniture, some of which looked knocked together and recycled from scraps, but it clearly suited Cobb just fine, who placed down the green helmet that had been tucked under his arm, along with his belts and blaster.

“It’s not much,” Cobb pushed aside some glasses on the table, though he had no shame in his voice. “But we don’t need much out here. You seem like the kind of fellow who knows how to live off of bits and ends.”

“We manage.” Mando replied gruffly, adjusted the kid in his arms. He was feeling rather ansty on his feet - it had been a long 24 hours without much rest and a lot of travelling, and he was sure he would sleep a solid 10 hours if he allowed it, but the dread of facing the giant sand creature and gaining the armour back from the marshal lay heavy on his mind.

This deal didn’t only benefit himself and the child, but his entire culture. If the plan went awry and he couldn’t take the armour back, he wasn’t sure what he would do. It wouldn’t be fair to take it forcefully after the deal, but it felt even worse to think about leaving it behind. The recent loss of the allies back home (though he didn’t really think of it as home anymore) kept the bounty hunter on edge now, as if any bit that was left of his people inside him would crumble away if he wasn’t careful enough.

The marshal seemed much more relaxed, considering the circumstances, especially since he was ready for a faceoff with the town’s new visitor only hours earlier. But now, the silver-haired man was sporting a grin and a casual gaze that made Din feel like there was an ulterior motive to why he and the kid were now cornered in the marshal’s hut. Mando’s fingers ghosted the blaster in the holster on his side.

“Well, there’s green and blue milk for the kid,” Cobb gestured to the food bin, “not much to eat I’m afraid, except some Bantha veal.” He stood and pulled out a strip of dried meat and offered it to Din, who visibly calmed as he accepted it. No harm in trusting strangers, occasionally, he supposed.

The kid happily snatched the food and was placed on the table, as the marshal poured some floral green milk into a cup, which was also passed along to the foundling, who slurped it up quickly.

“So, uh, if that’s yours,” Cobb leaned against the counter, a little too close for Din’s comfort, and gestured between him and the foundling. “Is that what you look like? Under there?” He said this, referring to the hemet. “Or did you hook up with a..”

The Mandalorian had picked up a long time ago that despite wearing a mask, he was unusually good at reflecting his emotions, and others were very good at picking up on his body language. Vanth clearly got the message when he stopped talking and laughed, holding his hands up defensively.

“Sorry, that was rude of me. Never mind, hey?” He laughed, all charming grins. He struck Mando as the type of guy who thought flashing smiles and sly remarks could get him out of anything. “You wouldn’t be able to fit those big ol’ ears under there anyways, right?” The marshal reached out a hand to give a gentle tug on the kid’s ear, who cooed in response, green milk dribbling down his chin.

Din wiped it away instinctively, before picking the kid up, who had finished his meal, clearly grateful as he let out a quieter, sleepier coo.

“Oh!” The marshal stood up, looking around. “I’ve got a crate of sorts, he can sleep in it if he likes. Probably better than sleeping out on that old bike outside.” Mando followed the man into a small room in the back that appeared to be fairly unused, just some old boxes and clothes, and a few weapons on shelves. The room across the hall seemed to be the marshal’s bedroom, but the door was only slightly ajar for viewing inside.

“Here ya go,” Cobb stepped aside to reveal a rectangular crate lined with an old blanket. “Little guy is all tuckered out.”

Looking down, Din saw that the foundling had fallen asleep while being held, so he was placed gently inside the crate, with Mando acutely aware that Vantha was watching, right behind him. He unwrapped the cowl from his neck and used it to wrap around the little green child, then left the room, closing the door behind him.

“I appreciate your hospitality,” Mando placed a hand on his hip in the main room, “if there's anything I can do..”

“No, no,” Cobb waved his hands cooly, walking into the kitchen. “You’ll be doing more than enough tomorrow, and now, you can sit and join me for a drink.”

“Marshal-”

The gray haired man laughed, pulling out a glass and a bottle of something pale gold and glimmering. “I know, I know, you can’t in front of me. Unless you want a straw to just suck up from under there?”

The look was given again, and the marshal couldn’t seem to stop laughing. Din didn’t see what was so amusing all the time, though he supposed the town didn’t get too many visitors, and perhaps Vanth had gone mildly loopy from seeing the same 30 people everyday.

“Just kidding, you take things too seriously. Sit down,” he offered, reclining himself at the table. The Mandalorian took the offer, clunking down into the seat, and feeling heavier than usual. He still longed to go and take off his gear, if just for a few minutes, in the clear of any prying eyes. The recent missions had taken a toll on his body, while he was extremely well trained and adapted to his lifestyle, the peak in activity between the Guild and the business with the foundling - it was beginning to feel more like an ache in his bones, with no time to cure his exhaustion. The thought of sleeping in a warm bed without fear of his or the kid’s life could make him drool if he thought too hard about it.

But now, he watched Cobb down one, then two, small glasses of the gold liquid without so much as a flinch, even though he could smell the bitterness of the alcohol from across the table and through the helmet. The marshal was impressive, for sure, even despite their stand off earlier. Really, to the defense of the marshal, he had only been looking out for his fellow man, and not having understood the intricacies of the Mandalorian culture, thought donning the armour would help that along. He wouldn’t have known the offense behind it, and perhaps Mando had been a bit harsh, before. But with his recent revelation with his worry for loss of connection to his people, he himself also couldn’t be blamed for his reaction.

“Thank you, again,” Mando leaned forward, elbows on the table. He watched Cobb’s face carefully for any signs of dishonestly, but there wasn’t any - just that same, genuine toothy grin. The marshal laughed. “It’s all good, friend. New faces are more than welcome, even if at first they’re a bit..”

“Standoffish?”

“Yeah,” Vanth swiped a hand through his silver locks. Mando swallowed hard. “I was ready to blast your helmet off straight. Could have done it, too.” Cobb knocked back the rest of his drink.

Din had to chuckle. It was evident to the both of them that Cobb would not win hand to hand, or even with blasters, but he allowed the man a small victory. “You must be familiar with a weapon, to have fought off the mining corp yourself.”

“Mostly thanks to your peoples’ fashion choice.”

“Were you trained?’

“Me?” Vanth choked. “Maker, no. I was no better at shootin’ than Kalaks are at simple thought. It was a lot of chance - I was determined to make sure this town was better than how I had grown up. No person deserves to be a slave.”

This peaked Mando’s otherwise tired attention. “You..”

“Yep. Lots of us around here were. There’s been liberations, freeing the people and what not, but it’s still there, y’know? It doesn’t just leave overnight. Hasn’t left me, I don’t think it ever will. Even if I’m not a physical slave anymore, I still have..” He swirled his cup around the table for a moment before seeming to snap out of his daze. “Well. All that’s in the past now. I’m much better with my hands now,” he added with a wink and that damn smile again, and Din felt hotter under his mask than he had all day. He could punch out Cobb’s perfect teeth. “So tell me about you, then.” The marshal added with another sip of his drink.

“Not much to tell.”

“Come on, there’s got to be something. We’ll start nice and easy. What’s your name?”

Mando cocked his head. He wasn’t getting that comfortable.

“No? Okay,” Vanth smacked his lips. “Are you human?”

“Yes.”

“There we go!” Cobb threw a hand up. “Now we’re getting somewhere! How old are you? You seem young, pretty fit, wouldn’t see no guys with aching joints doing your kinds of jobs.”

Din thought of his tiredness. He wasn’t old, but he didn’t feel young anymore either.

“I’m not too old myself, don’t worry, the hair is a misnomer of its own.” The marshal ruffled his own haircut, and Mando wondered what he had meant by ‘too old’. For what?

There was an animal howl from somewhere deep in the wastelands of sand dunes around them, and the Mandalorian clenched his jaw to suppress a yawn. He wasn’t sure he was going to make it the whole night without falling asleep. He looked around the room. There was a tattered chair that had a cushion, he could maybe doze in that for an hour or two before sunrise.

“So how come your armour’s so much nicer than mine?” Vanth pointed at the chest plate, a look of genuine curiosity on his face.

“Mine didn’t come from a Jawa’s trashpile.”

“I mean seriously-”

“It’s beskar. It has a long history with my people, and is nearly indestructible. Which is why it’s so valuable.”

“More indestructible than what I’ve got on?”

“Yes.”

“Wow,” Cobb smirked. “So it stays on.”

“Yes.”

“All the time.”

Mando sighed. “Yes, in front of others.”

“Like, even during..” Vanth gave the Mandalorian a knowing smirk, and Din felt that familiar heat on his face return, and he turned his visor away, giving the marshal a good chuckle. “I guess that means you don’t get around much then.”

You don’t know me, Din wanted to say, but Cobb was right. The lifestyle and religion certainly didn’t allow much leeway in terms of physical relationships. Not that it mattered, he was never in one place long enough to even entertain the idea. Not that it hadn’t happened before, though it was very rare. The last time was more than a year ago, on Ithor. It was quick and messy, and she had barely touched him, save for her legs wrapped around his hips desperately. A quick lift of her dress and it was over in minutes, he hadn’t even had time to take his gloves off. He supposed it could have been the nature of her species, and he certainly didn’t like to discriminate, but the ache he had deep in his soul, a longing to just be held-

He thought then of Omera, left behind on Sorgan, when she had tried to make him stay, and how gently she had touched his hands and helmet, and a deep longing stirred in the pit of Din’s stomach. It was not the time or the place to be thinking like that.

Instead he watched Cobb’s gaze, which was lowered beneath thick eyelashes. He was playing with his glass again, before his eyes flicked up to meet the Mandalorian’s behind the mask. Din couldn’t deny that the marshal was ruggedly handsome, with a certain charm that could melt his beskar armour away to reveal the reserved man beneath. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds of eye contact before Cobb leaned across the table, swaying slightly with presumably the influence of alcohol in his system. “What do you look like, under there?” He asked quietly, his drawl less pronounced with his whisper. “Has anyone seen you?”

“Not since I was a child.” Mando replied, lowering his own voice to match. He felt a lump in his throat and a rise in his heart rate. He had been with men before - not many, but it was the little experience he had that kept him planted in his seat, despite the logical side of his mind telling him to leave before things escalated. He knew what the marshal wanted, he could see it in those glazed and squinting eyes, in the way his hand creeped across the table, and how his gaze swayed from the tip of the helmet to Mando’s hand which rested on the surface of the table in front of them.

Ever so slowly, as if trying not to scare away an animal, Vanth reached over and touched Din’s glove, and he flinched away, but Cobb seized his wrist, touched that little bit of skin that poked out between his glove and sleeve. Their bare skin was melding - the marshal’s fingertips caressing the inner exposed arm of the Mandalorian.

“Vanth-” he said shortly, unmoving.

“Mando.” Cobb replied with a flash of teeth. His grip tightened slightly, urging Din to react. “Don’t be nervous. You won’t break my heart if you say no.”

I can’t say yes is the problem. Heart racing, the Mandalorian closed his eyes behind the helmet. He relished this small contact, the way Vanth thumbed beneath his sleeve, which was pushing it, but a welcome intrusion. Somehow, Din knew the marshal needed it just as much as he did. The tell tale sign was the shudder that came from Cobb’s finger. “Nervous?” Mando broke the silence. “That’s saying a lot from someone who’s shaking.”

Cobb playfully squeezed where his hand rested. “Shakin’? Nah,” he stood suddenly, his chair almost falling back, but it stayed upwards, and surprisingly so did Cobb, despite the alcohol he consumed that evening. The marshal walked around Mando’s chair, and leaned in close to the helmet, where Din’s ear would be beneath it, and whispered, “I’m just thinking about how good you’ll look sprawled on my bed.”

Without another word, he walked down the short corridor and turned into the bedroom. The swagger in his walk said, I know you want me, with a thumb in his belt and the slow thunking of his boots against the stone floor.

Din stayed in his seat, his hand still on the table, wrist exposed, and a stupid expression on his face behind the mask. He supposed he could just stand and leave, collect the kid in the morning, and forget this ever happened, but something kept him in the hut; Desire, loneliness, a sense of duty or repayment, a yearn to feel something more than he had before (as if this stranger could give what he was looking for, but it was a start in the right direction).

Wanting to slap himself, Din resisted the urge to laugh aloud. Was he the one who had drank half a bottle of whiskey? His ache was getting the best of him. Better to deal with the issue in the bedroom before he began fantasizing too much about an easier life where he could be held whenever he desired.

“You’re drunk,” he stated, and felt stupid after, standing in the bedroom doorway, since it was an obvious statement, but he didn’t know what else to say as he watched Cobb sitting on the edge of a bed, pulling his boot off.

The marshal laughed mirthfully. “Yeah, well,” his second boot thumped onto the ground. “I often am. Ain’t no bother, I know what I’m doing.” Standing, the silver haired man crossed the room, standing before the Mandalorian, a bit taller, and he ran his hands down Din’s arms. “Thing is, I don’t know much about you. Tell me your name, at least, stranger.”

He contemplated this for a moment. It couldn’t do too much harm to tell him the truth - the chance of it causing any problems were slim to none. No one else had to know. But, it would be against…

He didn’t have the chance to answer before Vanth tugged him closer towards the bed, and eventually was on his knees on the thin mattress, so they were about eye level. Cobb ran a hand over the shiny Beskar of Din’s helmet, and held either side of the mask. For a moment, Mando was worried he was going to yank it off, and instinctively, reached for his blaster, but the marshal laughed, grabbing his hand gently.

“Just calm down, ‘kay?” He unbuckled the belt and holster from Din’s pants and cast them aside. “Don’t talk much, do you? All action?”

“Not much to say.” The marshal laughed at this, and the Mandalorian wondered if he found everything funny or if he did it to cease awkward silence. “Well, you don’t gotta say anything except my name tonight, stranger.” He added with a wink, and reached forward to unhook Din’s chestplate.

“Wait,” He stopped him with a hand on the sternum.

Cobb instantly froze, matching Mando’s gaze in the visor, “Not okay?”

“Not the plate. Not the helmet.”

“Rest is fair game?” He smirked, Maker, the smirk, and tugged Din’s belt loops so he stumbled forward and fell flush against Cobb. “Just cause you don’t got much to say doesn’t mean you can’t say anything. Let me know if I, uh, cross any Mandalore lines, okay?”

Din didn’t reply and stayed stiff for a moment, before reaching to unclasp his arm gauntlets, and Vanth took the message and helped him and himself taking off various weapons and belts and shielding. They did this in a comfortable silence until it was just them, the pile of extremities on the floor, and Mando’s chest armour and helmet.

Cobb thumbed the thin fabric of the long sleeved shirt Din was still wearing, along with his pants. As they were the two items closest to his bare skin under layers of other clothes and armour, the Mandalorian was acutely aware that he probably smelled a bit ripe from the hot desert, and felt embarrassed, but if Vanth could tell, he didn’t seem to care. His bare hands rubbed across Din’s stomach and he got a glint in his eyes. Clearly, whatever Din was doing by just standing there, straight as a board, was getting Vanth off, because he moaned quietly before meeting Mando’s eyeline.

“You’re a real work, y’know that?”

Din wasn’t sure if that was good or bad, but he let Cobb guide him to lay down on the bed, and watched as the marshal straddled him, then reached to grab the hem of his own shirt and pulled it over his head.

His sun kissed skin gleamed with the warmth of the desert sky, and his toned chest tensed as Vanth shifted his weight to get more comfortable in the Mandalorian’s lap.

“Enjoying the view?” The silver haired man teased.

Mando hummed in response, placing his ungloved hands on the marshal’s hips. “Be a lot better if you weren’t being so kriffing slow.”

“Wow, eager much, stranger?”

“Stop calling me that,” Mando squeezed Vanth’s hips a little harder. ‘Stranger’ made it feel wrong.

The marshal laughed, ever amused. “Well, you won’t tell me-”

“Shut up, or I’ll leave.” He retorted, a little harsher than intended. “Just..”

Cobb smiled gently this time, his hands gently meeting Din’s on his sides, then nodded in understanding. “S’okay. Lemme show you what I can do.”

Leaning down, the marshal brought his face into the crook of Din’s neck, and the Mandalorian tilted his helmet away to allow excess. His breath hitched as he felt the kind lips sucking a spot on his throat. A deep groan left his chest as Cobb rotated his hips in place, grinding against Din’s lap.

Vanth tugged the collar of the other man’s shirt, kissing along his collarbone and licking sweet stripes anywhere he could reach. He tugged at the chest plate, back and forth, before sitting up and swiping his flopping hair out of his face.

“You gonna keep that dinner plate on or are we gonna man up about this?”

Mando rolled his eyes behind his visor, but couldn’t help his own small smirk. He unfastened the armour with a sigh, and gently cast it aside on the bed, then sat up to pull off his shirt, carefully, over the helmet.

Adjusting himself in the lap, Cobb wrapped his long legs around Mando’s waist. “Hot damn. Open the chest, and reveal the treasure within,” he joked, running his hands up and down Din’s front. “Nice tits.” He playfully squeezed a pectoral, and he wriggled, making the Mandalorian hard in his pants, faster than he would have liked to admit. Cobb could obviously feel him underneath, and gave a knowing smile, before pulling them close together, their bare chests touching each other.

Vanth had less chest hair than Din did, but it tickled a little nonetheless. The marshal kissed his bedmate’s shoulder, then bit it playfully, before whispering into his ear.

“Maker, you’re so hot,” he muttered, rolling his hips again. “Bet you’re strong, too.” He ran a hand up Mando’s bicep, stopping to squeeze the muscle there. “But you ain’t gotta do any heavy lifting tonight. Just relax. You’re wound up tighter than an ignition coil.” He rubbed Din’s shoulders, letting him know he was safe - they were safe, in this moment. Maybe Mando would never be able to let his guard down fully, but he would try, tonight. He also enjoyed that Vanth was implying there would be another night, where Din’s strength would be needed.

He looked down as Cobb fiddled with their pants, before reaching into the Mandalorian’s briefs to stroke him a few times. A sense of embarrassment fell over Din as he panted, feeling very warm under his helmet. It had been awhile since he was on the receiving end of intimacy, usually opting for showing others a good time, but Cobb had a sly look of determination that told him it wasn’t the marshal’s first rodeo when it came to taking charge.

The dry contact on his cock was a bit uncomfortable, but Din braced himself on Vanth as the marshal pulled it out from the confines of his pants, stroking a little harder now.

“Nice,” Cobb flashed his perfect teeth again.

“Shut up,” Mando inhaled sharply at a particularly painful tug of his skin, and Cobb pulled his hand away, his stupid grin still growing, ear to ear.

They sat in silence for a second, the room warm and their skin beginning to perspire. Suddenly, the silver haired man ran his hand up to Din’s collarbone, before touching his jaw beneath the helmet.

The Mandalorian tensed, used to the concern that his mask would be ripped away - it had almost happened far too many times recently, more than he could recall - but instead the marshal’s fingers found Din’s mouth.

“Suck,” he ordered, with a tint of that sheriff attitude he had seen with the townspeople earlier that evening. Not used to being submissive, Din hesitated, and when Cobb didn’t break eye contact, the bounty hunter obediently parted his lips and brought the digits onto his tongue.

They tasted rough and vaguely of alcohol, but his tongue swirled around them before releasing, feeling a bit of drool escape his lips.

“Well, at least you ain’t got fangs,” Cobb muttered with a laugh.

“I told you I’m-”

“Human, yeah,” the marshal’s wet fingers resting on Din’s jaw, “but you could say anything to ride one out.”

“You’re vulgar.” Mando didn’t say this with any particular venom, and he wasn’t sure why he had said it, considering he himself had spoken some pretty crass comments in moments of passion, but he found himself now wishing that Cobb would just shut up and get a move on.

The marshal didn’t reply but drew a wet stripe down Din’s chest with the saliva before capturing the dark haired man’s cock once more, this time slick for ease. “There, that’s better, innit?”

The Mandalorian did not justify this with spoken words but a tightening of his muscles in response to the pumping of Vanth’s hand and a quiet gasp, amplified through the helmet’s modulator.

“There’s a good boy,” the marshall encouraged, licking and biting his lip. “Maker, I wish I could see you under there, writhing - bet that mouth can do a lot.”

Shutupshutupshutup-

“I would love to feel your pretty lips wrapped around-”

“You could.” Mando interrupted. Fuck. Too late now. “You can. If you want.”

The hand stopped moving and Cobb shifted in his lap. “I thought..”

“If, uh,” the bounty hunter paused for a moment. This was so stupid. He felt stupid. Embarrassed, even. The last time he had done this it was a wild night full of handcuffs and blindfolds and rough play, but it had worked. It felt really against the creed, but technically it was a loophole. Cobb would never actually see him, and that was most of it, anyways. “If you wear something over your eyes. I can take it off.” He finished plainly. His heart was beating so hard against his ribcage. “Like, your..your scarf, or something.”

The marshal’s eyes widened a little and a cat like grin spread wildly across his face. “Whoohee!” He clapped his palms together loudly, like he hadn’t just been giving Din a handjob five seconds before. “You’re just full of surprises, stranger!” Cobb clambered off of Mando’s lap, rifling through the clothes they had tossed around, “I’d be happy as a bantha in Winter to, a minute now, to take you up on your - aha!” He pulled up the red garment triumphantly. “I didn’t peg you as the kinky sort, but then again, I haven't pegged you yet, have I?”

“Don’t make me take it back.” Din warned, pulling his pants down but keeping on his briefs, after having tucked himself back in. He stood to offer to help tie the scarf, but the marshal stepped back and held out a hand to stop.

“Wait a minute. Oh, yeah.” He looked at the Mandalorian, who was standing in nothing but underwear and his helmet, and he rubbed his chin and bit his lip with a smirk. “I’m just taking it in. Gotta give me something to think about if I’m going blind in a minute.”

Not feeling one way or the other about it, Din let him gawk for a minute, his arms sitting lamely at his sides for a minute before he sighed. “Are you done?”

“No rush,” Cobb laughed, but turned around nonetheless, offering the cloth over his head, and with nimble fingers, Din tied it tightly around the marshal’s eyes. The silver haired man turned slowly, his arms out like a bird to feel the space around him. “Mando?”

“Yeah. Can you see?”

“Nothin’. I swear.”

There was a comfortable quiet in the air, as Cobb relaxed and stood still, clearly waiting for a go ahead. At that prompt, Din reached up and carefully pulled his head free from the Beskar and knelt down to place it on the floor. He inhaled a deep breath of mildly fresh air, and ruffled his curls, knowing his helmet hair was probably terrible. At least Vanth wouldn’t see.

Cobb stood with a goofy grin, and only flinched slightly at the unexpected contact of the Mandalorian touching his hands. He ran his fingers up and down the marshal’s forearms twice before using the connection to bring the older man closer - and slowly brought their hands to hover above Din’s cheeks.

With a sharp inhale, Mando melted skin to skin, and gasped quietly at the sensation of Vath’s palms flush against his face. The feeling of having his head cradled in someone’s hands was unmatched - the marshal gently brushed his thumbs across his lips, then touched his nose (where underneath he was sporting a pretty decent moustache), ghosted over his eyelids, and ran his fingers through the bounty hunter’s hair, playfully tugging when he was done.

“ ‘Feel handsome,” Cobb whispered. “Ready to fuck now?”

“Shut up.” Mando growled low, roughly yanking open Cobb’s pants, to which he only got a snort of laughter.

“Whoa now,” he said, as if calming a taun taun. It was a hopeless cause, trying to get the man to be quiet for longer than five seconds.

Din switched their places, so the sheriff was closest to the bed, and eased him into a sitting position. The marshal warily held his hands hovering above the mattress, before relaxing and wiggling a little in the spot.

“The suspense is killin’ me,” he whispered, his eyeline upwards as he waited for Mando to make a move.

Din moved down onto his knees in front of the marshal, gently running his hands up and down his thighs. The silver haired man gasped in reaction, and moved quickly to take off his pants. Once they were thrown away, the bounty hunter gave a gentle kiss right beside the other man’s belly button, then another just below. With a gentle and soft movement, Din pulled the cock from Cobb’s underwear and gave it a firm tug.

“Ah-” Vanth grunted, his beautiful mouth hanging open, then found the Mandalorian’s hair with one hand. “Please..”

“Please what?” Din found himself taking his usual charge, which caused the marshal to giggle and grin.

“Slow down there, stranger, I thought I was the big man here.”

“Then act like it and tell me what you want.”

Cobb gripped Din’s hair tightly, earning a groan of surprise, but also arousal. “Take my cock in your pretty little mouth and suck like a good boy.”

Mando attempted to pull the grip from his curls away. “Don’t do that.” He growled.

“Like you don’t like it,” The marshal grinned, “stranger.”

Din wanted to slap him and his stupid goddamn smile- but he opted to not do anything drastic and instead took Cobb in his mouth, deep and fast, earning a second hand tangled in his hair. He gripped the man’s thighs hard as he bobbed his head up and down, taking in the marshal’s taste and girth.

“Pfassk-” Vanth moaned. “Oh, fuck..Maker-” His grip tightened in the Mandalorian’s hair.

Din hummed in reply, running his hands to the marshal’s waist and keeping him still while he worked his tongue around the head of the older man’s cock. He felt dirty and debauched to be on the marshal’s floor with his member in his mouth. Someone who he had only met a day ago, grasping at his body desperately under his lips. It was exhilarating if not madly loose of him.

Cobb’s gasps grew faster. “Kriff, kriff, kriff,” he used the hands in Din’s hair to move him away, and the bounty hunter stopped, with some drool escaping his lips. “Wait,” the marshal panted.

“What’s wrong?” Din rasped.

“I don’t want to finish yet. I’ve got a good time to show you as well, partner.”

The Mandalorian paused for a minute, letting the air return to his lungs, and gently smoothed his palms down Cobb’s thighs. “Sure. Where do you, uh,”

“On the bed. Come on now,” Vanth patted the mattress and stood, carefully, his lack of eyesight clearly a mild hindrance as he tumbled across the room to get something from a drawer. The bounty hunter laid back on the bed, and took off his underwear, now completely nude in the presence of the silver haired man, who was none the wiser. It felt fairly freeing, but Din knew it was a dangerous game. If he got too comfortable with the beskar off, he may never put it back on. That was a terrifying thought, because as much as he could pretend to deny it, it was something he could see happening if he did it too often.

This was interrupted as Cobb practically fell into the bed, bracing himself with his hands, with a small jar of what Din assumed was lube in his palm.

“I’m back. Did you miss me?” Cobb grinned in the direction he must have thought was the bounty hunter, but too far to the right and Din felt a wave of warmth run through him. Unfamiliar but kind.

The Mandalorian gently took Cobb’s cheek in his hand to turn his face in the right place. “Immensely.” He joked with a small smirk, and ran his thumb down the marshal’s cheekbone. There was a moment of comfortable silence, the two of them sharing the warmth together.

“Are you gonna kiss me?” Vanth leaned forward a little. “Or were you waiting for me to be the big man and tell you what I want?”

With that, the bounty hunter captured Cobb’s mouth with his own in a passionate kiss. The moment their lips touched, Din gasped and pressed harder, grabbing both sides of the Marshal’s head. Vanth returned the passion, with a hand in Mando’s hair (Din was beginning to think Cobb really liked his hair), and rubbing Mando’s back with the other.

They moved their tongues together, engaging in a long, hot embrace, before Cobb’s hand wandered down to discover Din’s nakedness.

“Oh, hello,” he purred. “Nice buns, stranger.” He squeezed a cheek much to the bounty hunter’s unamusement. “Really cheeked up back there. I love a good set of-”

“Shut up.” Din hissed, moving to nibble the marshal’s ear. “I thought you had something you were going to do.”

Cobb laughed. “Oh yes,” he was holding up the jar that had been set on the bed. “Time to oil up, stranger.”

Pushing Din down, Vanth settled on his knees between the Mandalorian’s legs after pulling off his own underwear, then spread some lube into his palm, lathering his cock in it, completely blind behind the red scarf. He kept grinning, excitement beaming off of him. The bounty hunter was on his back, propped by his elbows, and watching the display. Cobb’s confident movements and beautiful body, sprinkled with gray hair and tanned skin, was truly a sight to behold. Din felt a tad self conscious about himself, if just for a moment. Did he hold up to Vanth’s standards? Clearly he did to some extent, but their bodies were different in ways that the Mandalorian thought too hard about.

The marshal was lanky, though toned, with graying hair and smooth movements. He was tall with sharp cheekbones and a handsome smile. Din had never smiled in a mirror. He didn’t know what it looked like. He had once noted his nose curved in a way that made him think of a bird. Din’s body was thicker, and he was shorter. His wild curls often tickled his forehead under the helmet, and his facial hair was nowhere near as well kept as Cobb’s marvelous beard.

Din laughed quietly. How stupid. It was ridiculous to compare his own beauty to someone else’s - no one had seen him in over a decade and nobody ever would. These were the sorts of thoughts that would emerge when his armour was off. More reasons to get it over with quickly and into the comfort of his usual beskar shell. Underneath it, he paid no mind to things as petty as looks.

“Okay, relax. Lay back.” Cobb felt outward until he touched the bounty hunter’s chest. He then pushed the Mandalorian down onto his back, and hooked his leg over his shoulder. The marshal took a moment to get comfortable. “Do you need me to rev you up a little, stranger? Get a finger in there?”

“N-no,” Mando swallowed hard and looked at the ceiling. “No, just do it.”

“Alright, stranger. Goin’ in.”

“Din.” Dank ferrick. Fuck. Fuck. Stupid.

The marshal paused. He cocked his head, and turned his face downwards, as if he could see, and for a moment, Mando wondered if the sheriff had lied, and was staring at the man beneath him now.

“What’s that? ‘Din’?” Cobb was grasping the bounty hunter’s leg.

Din took a deep breath and sighed. “My name. Din. Please- not ‘stranger’.”

“Din. Din, Din. Huh.” Vanth smiled widely. He said it a few more times. “Thank you.” He whispered sincerely, and leaned down to kiss the Mandalorian, who quickly moved to meet his lips, or else he would have gotten a wet one to the eye.

The marshal’s blindness was rather amusing as he felt around him to move the jar out of harm’s way, before repositioning himself with a sturdy grip on the Mandalorian. “Alright, Din.” Another smile. “Ready?”

“Yes,” Din replied, and hissed through clamped teeth as he felt Vanth push into him eagerly. His fingers curled around the sheets harshly, and his back arched with the movement of Cobb burying himself deep inside. “Maker-” he gasped.

“Kriff, that’s good. Oh, yeah.” Vanth panted for a second, before pulling out almost all the way, then pushing back in. He did this twice more slowly before picking up speed. His thrusts were precise and confident, like the rest of his personality. His hands moved to either side of Din’s head, adjusting his body, and Mando moved his leg from the shoulder and wrapped his thighs around Cobb’s waist.

The new angle brought a wave of pleasure to crash over the bounty hunter’s body, he spread his arms out, arching and writing in arousal beneath the sheriff. “Fuck- Cobb-”

“Yeah? You like that?” The marshal panted with a wide smile, rolling his hips into Din. “You take it good.”

“Come on,” the Mandalorian grunted, wiggling his hips to encourage his bedmate to move faster. “Move.”

“Oh, kriff, yes,” Vanth withdrew and pushed back in, and began that quick pace again, pounding into the bounty hunter with such speed that the mattress groaned horribly beneath them. Din briefly thought of the kid, wishing he had brought the egg shaped carrier for him to sleep in, lessening the chances of him waking to the sound of the men in bed together. But he knew the child was a fairly heavy sleeper, which settled his mind a bit to allow him to focus on the situation at hand.

A deep warmth shuddered through the Mandalorian’s abdomen, and he moaned louder than intended, grasping at the sheets with renewed desperation. He wished then that he could meet the marshal’s eyes - those striking hazel eyes - but that was too much. He already had the blessing of a name, and Din couldn’t risk giving more than that.

Cobb picked up on the direness of Mando’s need and sat up, gripping Din’s hips with his sturdy hands, allowing the bounty hunter to arch his back, supported by his broad shoulders, and the marshal pushed a few deep thrusts in, grinning ear to ear.

“Come on, baby, come on,” Cobb purred as he went for it, pushing and rolling to get the most out of their new position. “You like that? Oh, you feel so good. Din. Come for me. Come for me.”

The Mandalorian panted and moaned, sweat and sex and heat filling the room, that wonderful tension pooling inside of him and he pushing himself as well as he could to meet the marshal’s perfect thrusting, and he shuddered and gasped as cum shot all over his own stomach, warm and more than eupphric as he rode out the high of his orgasm.

“Oh fuck, yes, Din, good boy,” Cobb kept pounding, quickly, hitting those sensitive spots until Din felt himself fill with warmth as the marshal came hard, shaking and groaning, before he collapsed on top of the bounty hunter was a quiet sigh.

They laid in silence, both panting and hot and sweaty, but together. Din found himself reaching for Cobb’s hair, gently running his hand through it. It was soft and fluffy, and his fingers were able to comb through it seamlessly. This brought a gentle smile to the bounty hunter’s lips.

In turn, Vanth made little circles with his fingers on Din’s chest, humming in satisfaction.

“That was good,” Cobb whispered, seemingly content with not moving. “Nice. Very nice. You’re not half bad.”

“Your thoughtful words are inspiring.”

They both chuckled, and Cobb adjusted himself, slipping himself out carefully, then settling back on the Mandalorian’s chest to continue their post-sex cuddle.

He liked to think of that. That they were cuddling. He couldn’t remember the last time he had let someone cuddle him. Certainly not any of his previous endeavours, though to be fair, he had never had sex on a bed with them, so there hadn’t been any chance for something so intimate. Din shifted his weight a little and sighed contently. He figured it must have been his mother or father who had last held him lovingly, but he tried not to dwell on that.

Now, Cobb, still with his scarf on (Din thought the world of that - the marshal was incredibly trustworthy), seemed to be close to sleep, so the bounty hunter gently nudged him.

“I should put something on. The kid might come in here when he wakes up,”

“Hmph.” Vanth huffed against the Mandalorian’s chest, before rolling over to release his bedmate. “Fine, but come right back.”

Din climbed off the bed and found his shorts and shirt, and after climbing into them, he picked the helmet off the floor and stared into the visor. The armour felt heavy in his hands, and the idea of placing it back on was less than appealing after a, dared he say it, fun evening. He glanced back at the mattress, where Cobb lay with his hands behind his head and everything on show, and Din smiled lightly.

A gentle kiss was placed on the marshal’s lips, and when he pulled the scarf from Cobb’s eyes, the bounty hunter had returned the beskar to its usual spot on his head. The sheriff blinked a few times in the dim light as he sat up, with Mando moving to let him past. Cobb slipped his underwear on before climbing back into bed, this time moving the blankets and crawling under.

An extended hand from the marshal was an invitation for the Mandalorian to join him back in the warmth of the bed, and without hesitation, Din joined him, tucking them into the sheets and settling down. The silver haired man wriggled next to Din, resting against his broad chest.

Still sticky with sweat and cum, it was only mildly uncomfortable not to shower immediately, but the bounty hunter knew there was always the morning. The next day would be wildly unpredictable and full of danger, but deep in his gut, the Mandalorian knew it would end well.

As if reading his thoughts, the marshal shifted slightly. “Nervous for tomorrow?”

“No,” Din answered honestly. “We’ll have what we need to defeat the dragon.” “I’m worried about those damn Tuskans.” Cobb huffed. “If something goes awry-”

“It won’t.” The bounty hunter assured. “They’re..a little rough around the edges, but they’ll keep their word and help. Don’t worry about it. Just rest now.”

“Alright,” Cobb laughed a little, rubbing his hand across the other man’s waist. “Din, the Mandalorian. Hell. You’re quite something. It’ll be an honour to take down that Krayt menace tomorrow by your side.”

“Same to you. Rest well, Marshal.”

“Goodnight, Din.”

Cobb drifted to sleep quite quickly after that, leaving Din with his arms wrapped around the marshal and his late night thoughts. He deeply inhaled, smelling the desert winds in Cobb’s hair. The cool evening breeze that drifted from the window was comforting, and the only noises to be heard were crickets, and the drifting of the thin curtain blowing quietly in the wind.

Din was at peace, on that evening, content to lay with a man he enjoyed the company of curled in his arms, and the child safely sleeping in the room next to them. The next day would bring adventure and battle, but now, Din was safe and happy, as he drifted into a deep sleep, in the sanctuary of the marshal’s home.

#Lavina's Fics #Lavinia's Fics: Stranger #dincobb #din djarin x cobb vanth #cobb vanth x din djarin #the mandalorian x cobb vanth #cobb vanth x the mandalorian #pedro pascal #timothy olyphant #the mandalorian #the mandalorian season two #chapter 9 the marshal #din djarin #cobb vanth

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hockeylvr59 · 4 years

Text

Secret Love Part 11 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: So I really struggled writing Chapter 10...Chapter 11 however...took me like two days. So yeah...uh characters are still in Iceland, Days 3 and 4 sightseeing will be posted following this. As always all posts for this series can be found by searching the tag ‘038’ on my blog. Let me know what you think.

Gif Credit: @j-compher

Warnings: cursing, oral sex, smut, unprotected (on birth control but no condom) smut

Word Count: 3,819

~~~~~~

If you’d thought day two of your trip had involved a lot of driving, you were in for a rude awakening moving forward.

The morning of your third day in Iceland, you and Cale had slept in until around 8 am before getting up, heading down to breakfast, packing up and then checking out of the hotel. Before leaving Reykjavik, you stopped at a market to stock up on some drinks and snacks, then a gas station for a refill before finally hitting the road heading south.

After about an hour and 40 minute drive, you reached your first stop: Seljalandsfoss Waterfall. This waterfall was the perfect photo op because you could actually walk behind the falls. Taking some sillier but also sweet pictures, you continued on to another waterfall about a half hour away. From there, you stopped for lunch before Cale drove on to Dyrhólaey Nature Reserve.

The nature reserve was home to sea stacks and arches and the view from the upper trail was breathtaking. It had only been three days but already you were certain that Iceland was one of the most beautiful countries in the world. After taking in the views from above, you headed to the lower trail and onto Reynisfjara beach.

There, black sand stretched in front of you as far as you could see. It was so different than any other beach you’d ever been on but it was honestly really, really cool. As cool as the sand was, the rock formations lining the beach were even cooler. After walking tucked into Cale’s side for a little bit you looked up at the cliffs to your left and immediately started freaking out. Jumping up and down, trying not to squeal, you tugged on Cale’s sleeve as if your previous actions hadn’t already gained his attention.

“What are you freaking out about?” Cale asked, mystified expression on his face.

“Puffins!” You squealed quietly, pure glee on your face. “They’re so cute!” The last thing you wanted to do was disturb the birds, but you were so excited to see them it was impossible to keep completely silent. Of course, you kept your distance, simply admiring them from afar.

Cale didn’t seem to know what to do with your reaction but he let you have your moment watching the birds, his lips pressed against the top of your head. As you headed back down the beach Cale rubbed his thumb against your side.

“I take you to see beautiful geological formations but it’s the birds you’re excited about.” He mused, shaking his head.

“Leave me alone.” You pouted. “You don’t just see puffins anywhere you know.” Lifting your chin, Cale kissed you softly.

“As long as you’re having fun and are excited about something I’m happy.” He insisted, his arm pulling you closer into his side.

It wasn’t a far drive to the village of Vik which Cale informed you was where you were staying for the night. Unlike yesterday where you had been going non-stop, not returning to your hotel until after 11pm, today you were already here and it was only late afternoon.

After checking into your hotel, you dropped off your bags and used the bathroom before heading into the village itself to park and walk around. Stopping into the tourist shop, you browsed around looking specifically at all of the locally made products. Eventually, you spotted a set of glass coasters made from the black sand of the beaches you’d just been on. Across the tops, various local scenes were painted. They were simple but beautiful and your fingers lingered across the tops of them.

“Those are nice.” Cale said, appearing over your shoulder suddenly.

“Yeah they are.” You agreed. Picking up two sets, Cale handed you one.

“We should get them. One for the house, one for my apartment.” Cale declared. “That way we both have something to remind us of this trip.”

“That’s really soft Cale.” You murmured.

“Don’t care.” He replied. Though you continued to look around, there wasn’t anything else that spoke to you as much as the set of coasters did and eventually you headed to the register to purchase them.

Walking around the village you took in how cute and quaint it was. Soon after your stomachs started complaining, you stumbled into a small restaurant. There you and Cale split a pizza with pesto for sauce, mozzarella cheese, tomatoes, parma ham, topped with a balsamic glaze and parmesan cheese. It was delicious and you left feeling completely stuffed.

You’d called it an early night back at the hotel, settling for a movie on Netflix as you curled up together in bed. A relaxing evening was exactly what you needed to recharge and be ready to continue on your journey.

Day four of your trip started by filling up the gas tank and then embarking on an hour long drive to Fjaðrárgljúfur canyon.

Just before you reached the canyon, you encountered a small turn off which led you to a viewpoint. Climbing out of the car you walked up the pathway until you reached a platform. As far as the eye could see were moss covered rocks and it truly felt like you had stepped onto another planet.

“Are you sure we’re still on planet earth?” You whispered to Cale. Your boyfriend chuckled quietly in response, his hand resting on your hip. It seemed like the more time you spent alone together, not worried about who you saw or who saw you, the more reliant on physical touches each of you became. You’d never felt so comfortable just being with someone and thinking back on the times you’d seen Cale with Sara, you had a feeling the same could be said for him.

With more pictures clogging up your phones, you continued on to the Canyon itself. It was only a two-minute walk to the start of the canyon from the car and the moment you reached it your jaw dropped.

“Cale…” You whispered. You didn’t even have words to describe how beautiful this place was.

“Woah...sweetheart.” Cale’s thumbs brushed against your cheeks as he spoke and it wasn’t until he pulled you into his chest that you realized you were crying. “Shhh..give your brain a minute to process.” Cale assured you. His patience with you seemed neverending as his hands stroked your back until you finally calmed down.

“Sorry…” You mumbled, wiping frantically at your eyes when you finally pulled away.

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Cale insisted. “You’re allowed to be emotionally effected by things. It’s normal. Especially when it’s something as amazing as this.” Cale’s lips pressed gently to your forehead and he dropped his hand from your back to lace your fingers together. “You good to go walk?” He questioned.

It took about 45 minutes to walk all the way up to the top of the canyon and back and you stopped for pictures at various points along the way. You still couldn’t put into words the way this place made you feel; it was all so overwhelming in the best way. As you stood off to the side of the first viewpoint, away from the majority of other tourists, you tugged Cale’s hand until he was close enough you could wrap your arms around his neck.

“Thank you.” You murmured, kissing him lightly. “You always know exactly what I need, you’re always putting me first and taking care of me. It doesn’t go unnoticed, and you don’t know how much I appreciate it. You mean the world to me Cale...I don’t know if I’m quite as good at showing it as you are, but I hope you know that.”

“I do...know that…” Cale responded, kissing you again gently before pulling away, a fondness in his eyes that nearly sent you reeling. Dragging your fingers along his lower back you made up your mind to show him just how important he was to you once you were actually alone.

Back in the car, you munched on some of the snacks you’d brought in lieu of trying to find somewhere to stop for lunch. It took almost two hours to get to your next stop, the Jökulsárlón Iceberg Lagoon.

There, the two of you hopped on a boat tour where you got to taste a piece of 1,000 year old ice as you toured the lagoon. It was incredible to see first hand just how much ice was breaking off of the glacier and it made you more cognizant of the consequences of global climate change.

Right across the highway from the lagoon was Breiðamerkursandur or the diamond beach where fragments of ice wash up after floating from the lagoon out into the ocean. You made Cale climb onto an iceberg so you could take a picture of him and you got some great shots of all of the ice scattered along the shore. Despite the fact that it wasn’t all that cold outside, having been surrounded by ice for the past hour or two left you feeling chilly even if you had dressed in layers.

As you climbed in the car, Cale turned the heat on and you squeezed his knee in thanks. It was just a short drive to your hotel for the night and once you’d checked in, you shed a few layers before heading to the bar for a drink before dinner.

You’d retreated to your room around 6:30pm and Cale hopped in the shower first to clean up. While you waited for him to finish, you dug in your bag trying to decide what to grab for after your own shower. Thinking back to how you had promised yourself you were going to show Cale just how important he was, you unzipped a small compartment where you’d hidden the lingerie you’d bought.

Buying lingerie had been a spur of the moment decision possibly fueled by a few glasses of wine, and the thought of actually wearing it made you nervous. Your sex life with Cale had been fairly tame so far, nothing too out of the box. It had also been completely spontaneous on every occasion. You honestly had no idea how he would react to lingerie and though both sets were fairly tame in comparison to some sets you’d seen online, this was still something new and therefore nerve wracking.

Hearing the shower turn off, you jumped, your heart racing as you grabbed the more modest of the two sets. If you were going to do this, you were going to ease into it. Collecting your cosmetic bag, you hid the lingerie close to your chest.

Slipping into the bathroom as soon as Cale exited, you stripped out of your clothes and stepped into the shower trying not to overthink this. Focusing on shaving your legs and cleaning up served as a bit of a distraction but as you toweled off, your eyes landed back on the lingerie you’d placed on the counter.

You were certain you’d talk yourself out of this if you had to stare at yourself wearing the lingerie in the mirror for too long, so you started with your makeup, doing just a little bit more than you had been lately in order to make yourself feel confident and sexy. Blow drying your hair, you brushed it out before finally reaching for the lace and silk fabric.

Burgundy colored silk sat low on your hips, edged by black lace along both of your thighs. The same black lace covered your chest, ending at the bottom of your ribcage leaving your stomach exposed. It was...sensual but not over the top and when you slid the burgundy silk robe over it, you felt like you might actually be able to pull this off.

Reminding yourself that Cale had nearly lost his shit at the sight of you in a bikini the other night, you took a deep breath before opening the bathroom door and stepping out into the bedroom. Cale was sprawled out on the bed with just a pair of shorts slung low on his hips.

“What do you want to watch tonight?” Cale’s question was asked before he ever looked up at you, but when he did he blinked slowly. “That’s uh...that’s not your usual pajama set…” He murmured.

Blood pounding through your veins, you moved across the room to climb onto the bed beside him. Grabbing the remote from his hand, you turned the tv off before setting the remote aside.

“I was thinking about a different form of entertainment tonight…” You stated, your own voice sounding foreign in your ears. Sliding over Cale’s lap until you were straddling him, your hands ran down along his arms as his eyes did a slow once over of your body. “I think it’s time I take care of you for once.” You husked, raising an eyebrow. Cale hadn’t even seen what was under the robe yet and already he was slack jawed. The power you held over him in that moment sent a rush of adrenaline through you and you slid down the bed, tugging his shorts and boxers down with you.

“You good handsome?” You teased, lightly stroking your fingers over the length of his rapidly hardening dick. Cale couldn’t seem to speak, but he nodded his head and for now that was enough consent. Flicking your tongue along the slit of his cock, you stroked the length of him in your hand until a soft grunt fell from his lips. Only then did you hollow your cheeks, sinking down around him, taking as much of his length as you could down your throat. Bobbing slowly, you felt him twitch and when you pulled back to breathe you ran your tongue along the veins on the underside of his cock.

Following your instincts, plus Cale’s body language and verbal clues, you settled into a rhythm blowing your boyfriend for the first time. You’d seen and felt Cale orgasm enough to know when he was getting close as his body strained beneath you.

“Fuck. Babe. Stop.” Cale gasped, but peeking up at him you knew he didn’t actually want you to stop.

“We’ve got all night handsome...plenty of time for you to recover after coming down my throat.” You murmured before flicking your tongue through his slit again collecting all of his precum. Returning to your efforts, you cupped his balls as you sunk down his length. After just a minute, Cale came with a moan as he spilled down your throat and after swallowing you pulled off of him, sliding your tongue along his skin to clean him up. Cale’s cheeks were flushed as he tried to catch his breath and you slid up his body, settling yourself back over his lap.

“Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?” Cale gasped, his head falling forward to land against your shoulder. Kissing his head, you ran your fingers through his hair waiting for him to become more coherent.

“Just trying to take care of my man.” You hummed. “But if you’re complaining...you don’t have to see what’s under the robe.” As you spoke, you drew his hands up to the tie at your waist, leaving it for him to undo.

The speed at which Cale undid the bow told you that he wasn’t complaining at all and you let him push the robe from your shoulders, his eyes landing on you once more. His cheeks flushed further to match the color of your shorts and his eyes were wider than you’d ever seen them. You let him stare, watching as his tongue ran over his lips leaving them wet and shiny in the dim lighting of the hotel room.

“Fuck…” Cale breathed harshly, drawing out the word. “I must be dreaming right now.” He added. “You’re a fucking dream sweetheart.” Cale’s eyes ran slowly up and down your body like he wanted to memorize every inch. “You bought this for me?”

“I take it you like it?” You assumed, letting out a soft sigh in relief at his reaction.

“What do you think?” Cale grunted, pulling your hips to roll down against his cock which was already hard again.

Laughter bubbled from your chest in reaction and you cupped his cheek as you leaned in to kiss him deeply.

“Good to know lingerie is a hit with you.” You admitted. Cale’s eyes flashed with concern for just a moment before his hand fell to your hips, his thumbs brushing against your bare stomach.

“I don’t know whether I want you to keep this on or take it off.” He declared. Clearly he knew better than he thought he did, because as he spoke his hands slid up your sides, gently gripping the fabric and drawing it up and over your head. Half nude on top of him, Cale’s hands cupped your breasts as he pulled you into a desperate kiss.

“Can’t believe you’re mine…” He mumbled, pulling back. There was something about seeing him like this, flushed red, swollen lips, blissed out from one orgasm already that lit every primal need inside of you. As much as you were his, he was yours and god did you need him inside you.

“Please Cale…” You whimpered, rolling your hips against his.

“Shh…” He soothed, hands gliding across your ass. Sensing that he was going to try and flip you, you kept your weight centered firmly above him.

“I wanna be on top.” You pleaded. “Just need out of these shorts…”

Cale wasn’t responding quickly enough, so you pushed the fabric of your shorts off of your own hips, shifting as little as possible while attempting to kick them off and onto the floor.

“Let me…” You cut off Cale’s statement by raising your hips and lowering yourself onto his dick, a gasp spilling from your throat as you felt him slipping deep inside you.

“Yes…” You hissed, the stretch of your body around him filling you with a warmth and ache that you had missed so much. As you started shallowly leveraging yourself up before dropping back down your eyes met Cale’s deep azure orbs, the look in them heightening your arousal.

“So wet.” Cale eventually groaned. “My girl doesn’t even need foreplay after blowing me to be this soaking wet. Fuck.”

Though one of Cale’s hands fell to your hips, you were the one putting in all of the effort to fuck yourself on his cock.

“You’re so needy...fucking yourself...just using my body for your pleasure. So much for wanting to take care of me tonight.” Sinking down on him again, you purposely tightened your vaginal walls against him, drawing another moan from his chest.

“Hmm...I think me doing all the work...letting you cum inside me while you just lay there is taking pretty good care of you…” You corrected. Your thighs were starting to burn from bouncing on top of him but your orgasm was within arm’s reach and there was no way you were stopping before ensuring you both got to climax.

“My girl is close.” Cale groaned. “Cum for me sweetheart...let me feel that tight heat clamp down on me.”

Cale’s words pushed you over the edge and you sunk down on him in exhaustion as your body shook with your orgasm. Spurts of Cale’s semen filled you from deep inside and you whimpered at the feeling, warm from head to toe. As you collapsed against him, still connected intimately, Cale’s fingers played with the ends of your hair.

“I can’t get enough of you.” Cale whispered a few minutes later, his cock starting to harden inside of you again.

“Again?” You inquired, a little bit in disbelief that his rebound time was this fast.

“Only if you want to.” He assured you. “But I’ll take over, you can relax and enjoy this time.” This time when Cale attempted to roll the two of you over, you went willingly, staring up at him. Before moving, Cale settled your legs up over his shoulders and when he thrust inside of you, you cried out softly at the feeling of him brushing against your g-spot.

“I got you sweetheart...just tell me what you need.” Cale sighed, pleasure lacing his tone.

The sound of your skin smacking together and the squelch of your mixed bodily fluids rang in your ears.

“Talk to me…” You pleaded. “Like before.” You weren’t afraid to admit that hearing Cale dirty talk had pushed you so much closer to orgasm than you would have been otherwise.

“Yeah?” Cale breathed, his cheeks turning bright red again as you nodded. “You feel so good like this sweetheart. You’re even wetter than before. So tight too.” Every movement he made brushed against your g-spot and you couldn’t help the litany of noises that fell from your lips at the feeling.

“You like it when I fuck you like this huh?” He continued. “Your pussy stretches around me so nicely, just welcoming me inside. Do you like being fucked nice and deep like this? Feeling each ridge of me against your walls...feeling me spill deep inside you?” Crying out again, your head tossed back and forth against the pillow, your orgasm creeping up on you quickly.

“You do like feeling me spill inside of you don’t you? That’s why you wanted to stop using condoms. You like being skin to skin with me, feeling me raw you bare. You like being filled with my warm sticky cum, the way it drips out of you if I let it…”

Your vision went black for a moment as your orgasm crashed down on you hard. The muscles in your thighs spasmed painfully, but you barely noticed through the waves of pleasure that rippled through you, leaving you panting. As your body clenched around him again, you felt Cale spill inside of you for the second time tonight.

Carefully he pulled out of you before kissing your lips lightly.

“Be right back.” He declared, disappearing into the bathroom. He returned with a washcloth and after wiping down your thighs, he offered you a hand so that you could go to the bathroom yourself. When you returned to the bedroom, Cale handed you a t-shirt to wear before guiding you under the covers.

“So dirty talk huh…?” He chirped, his nose brushing against the top of your head.

“Shut up and turn the tv on Cale.” You replied, feeling heat flood your cheeks. Chuckling, Cale complied, but as he handed you the remote to pick a show he couldn’t help but get in the last word.

“It’s hot. I enjoyed it.” Shaking your head, you snuggled against him just basking in what was left of the afterglow.

“And for the record...you can always surprise me with lingerie. I’m definitely into that as well.”

Lingerie:

#cale makar #cale makar imagine #colorado avalanche #colorado avalanche imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #nhl smut #hockey smut #cale makar nws #nws #lemon #cavalanche #038

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writingsbychlo · 4 years

Text

rapp-ed around your heart (05)

word count; 10,584

summary; mitch finally gives you the last parts of him, deciding that he definitely has nothing left to lose, or hide, when it comes to being honest and true with you.

notes; in this part, we deal with a tiny little issue that comes up, as well as some cute moments with them getting closer and dealing with some stuff.

warnings; hints as smut, and there’s the tiniest bit of angst.

The Midwest

Surprisingly, it was in a little ice cream shop at Mount Rushmore that Mitch truly opened up to you. The two of you spent the day wandering around the trails and looking at the carvings in the mountains, taking a lot of photos and simply soaking up the warmth of the sun, before settling to try the ‘historic’ ice cream.

You were sharing a picnic bench, the fingers of one hand being played with by his own as it sat on the table, and you lapped at melting droplets of mint ice cream as he nursed his own cone of rocky-road. The cold and sweet treat was not something new to the two of you, you’d shared ice cream before too, but then he’d opened up about it. Something switched within him, and he spilt to you about how his mother used to give him a bowlful of the frosty treat as a reward every time he completed all of his homework when he was finished, and so it had become like a reward. Before this trip, he hadn't eaten ice cream in years, trying to stick to his healthy diet and workout routine, feeling guilty when he broke away from it, and feeling like he didn’t deserve such luxuries.

That same confession had led to more, a heartfelt confession following you for the rest of the day as he told you everything he could think of, finally letting you not only past his walls but right into his heart and soul. The ‘Carver’s Marketplace’ had been where you stopped for dinner, the situation lightening up as you moved on to easier topics, chatting and joking around. A nap in the leftover heat of the day had been more than enough to see you through the drive to Minnesota, the dark hours carrying you through until you were arriving with the nighttime stars, hanging overhead in the low lights and twinkling enthusiastically overhead.

It had been a joint call to splurge on another hotel, giggling kisses and hidden yawns as you waited in the elevator to get upstairs. He’d been ready before you had, and was half-asleep on the bed, spread out like a starfish under the covers as he waited for you on the queen-sized frame, and you’d crawled underneath to join him. In his haze, he had wrapped you up tightly in his arms, pulling you into his chest and tucking his chin atop your head, before letting out a soft sigh.

That was exactly how you’d found yourself now, warm light filtering into the room to wake you up. Arms were still tightly wrapped around you, a bare chest under your cheek as you nuzzled further into him, a deep and raspy laugh rumbling from his chest as he realised you were awake too, and he squeezed you a little tighter. It was surreal, golden light flecks dancing throughout the room and off of the covers illuminating you both in a cloud of delicate light that left gentle shadows across the sheets when you lifted your hand to block the rays from your eyes when you cracked them open.

“Good morning.” You huffed, the words contradicting the tone of your voice as you grumbled at the sun in your eyes, twisting your head to face the opposite way, using that hand to rub at your eyes. It was no use, you weren’t going to be able to go back to sleep now, and as you became a little more aware of your surroundings, the urge to move became overwhelming. That comfortable warmth was now stifling, and as much as you loved being wrapped up this mans arm’s you needed your freedom, and so you rolled to the side, stretching your arms up and over your head, letting out a happy sound when your muscles eased of their tension and your joints cracked as they loosened up. “Where are we again?”

“Uh, a hotel. I think.”

You scoffed rolling onto your side to face the man, lips pulling up a little in a smile as he lay there, on his side facing you but with his eyes closed, snoozing lightly as light puffs of air left his lips. “I meant where in the country.” You sat up some more, shaking your head clear as you folded your legs to sit crossed on the mattress, and he shuffled, lifting his pillow to rest in your lap as he moved, body curling so that he could adjust, and you chuckled, dropping a hand down to run through his hair.

“Near a lake. Big one.”

“It’s Minnesota, right? God, I’m losing track of where we even are at this point.” You let out yet another yawn, before slowing your movements through the man’s hair, and he let out a whine of protest when you did, legs shuffling a little under the covers. “We should go out on the lake. It’s a nice day.”

“Or we could stay in bed all day.” He offered, reaching one hand up to pull your own back down to his hair, and you took the hint, deciding to give in and play with the strands a little longer.

“We’re on a road trip, we can stay in bed all day any other time, we have to make the most of it.”

He did look up now, a cheeky grin on his face as he moved to sit up, enough to that he was kneeling before you on the mattress, and he was taking both of your cheeks into his hands as he squinted into the morning light. One side of his face was little red, a crumple left in his skin from a fold in the pillowcase, imprinted under his eye, and messy hair from the way that it had fallen, but he still looked absolutely perfect to you. “So, what you’re saying is that there will be more mornings like this in the future?”

You shrugged, feeling him nod his head encouragingly as he leaned in, stealing a quick kiss from your lips, before pulling away, letting out a contented little sigh as he seemed to wake up a bit more. “

“Fine, lake it is, I’m cool with that.” His nose dragged over yours, before he was standing up from the bed, wobbling a little on unprepared and tired legs, before shaking himself down and stretching out. “Let me shower first. I’ll be ready in thirty minutes, tops.”

You simply waved him off with a smile and a roll of your eyes, not missing the cheeky wink that he awarded you as he closed the bathroom door.

You lay there for a few more minutes, enjoying the leftover warmth of your bodies from under the covers a little longer, before you forced yourself to up and roll from the bed. You straightened out the sheets, because despite knowing that you wouldn't be getting back into them tonight, you still thought it polite to straighten them up for the housekeeping team that would be in to strip and redress the bed for whoever was next. You did some scrolling on your phone and made some bookings for a boat tour in the later afternoon, and picked out your outfit. Simple was your theme today, laziness taking over as more eagerness to simply get out and on with the day took over, and you found yourself staring up at the clock as it ticked over into thirty minutes, a groan falling from your lips.

It was a second later when it opened up, and you perked up from where you were crumpling the freshly straightened sheets, head peeking up from where it had been dangling over the mattress as he emerged from the steam, brows furrowing but a smirk finding his lips as he looked at you hanging upside down.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, you know, just hanging out.” You mumbled, letting out a dramatic sound as you heaved yourself up into a sitting position, and soon made your way into the bathroom to be able to wash your face and clean your teeth.

He joined you at the sink, nudging you to the side as he found his own toothbrush, a cheeky look in his eyes as they found yours in the reflection of the mirror, a spot you’d cleared from the fog on the glass, and you rolled your eyes despite your smile, letting your eyes scan over him instead. Black skinny jeans that did more for his thighs than you’d care to admit to him and heighten his ego further, and a forest green t-shirt on his arms, stretched a little across his shoulders, and you tore your gaze from him to spit into the sink, ignoring the muffled chuckle that rang out as he clearly caught you staring.

Washing off the brush, you tapped the loose water from it, before tucking it back into your cosmetics bag, and the fingers of one hand found your cheek. Guiding your mouth up to his, he tugged the brush from between his lips just before his mouth met your own, a soft and chaste kiss, but you smiled nonetheless, licking the taste of mint from your lips as his thumb moved underneath them to clear away excess foam, before he was letting you go.

The previous late-night had led to sleeping in, skipping breakfast entirely and deciding to wander and sightsee until you found somewhere that you liked the look of to stop for your lunch. You walked hand in hand along the Duluth lakefront water walk, watching as boats raced around the water, knowing that it wasn’t long until that would be you.

It was sweet, chatting about everything that came to mind, and yet when he passed a simple comment about how far around the country the two of you had come, you couldn't help but get stuck back on it. You were so close to making a full-circle loop, but with every destination that you passed, it was another place closer to bringing you home. Mitch on the road - now that you’d managed to muscle past his tall defences - was a completely different person to the one who’d climbed into your car on that first day. The working version of the man you’d come to know was completely different, he was stressed and angry and had a lot going on that made him fearful and locked away, and you weren’t sure if that version of him would still want you around.

You also couldn't shake the feeling that as you closed in on the beginning of your trip once again, that he was finished, having been on the road for almost a month and a half now, and you would understand if he wanted to go home, and miss the last stops you had planned for yourself, but deep down, you were selfish enough to admit that you didn’t want him to.

Your spiral of doubts was cut short when he’d presented you with a little restaurant with outside tables, not too far of a walk away from where you needed to be for your lake tour, and it was perfect for grabbing some lunch, so you forced back your thoughts to haunt you at another time, in favour for making space to acknowledge your hunger.

After filling yourselves at the little street joint, you barely made it back in time for your boat, wobbling in your steps as you tried to board it, but you had made it eventually, and you were curled up in your seat as the two of you were taken around the edges of the lake, seeing everything from the East Channel lighthouse to the Grand Island caves, rock structures and picturesque settings atop clear blue water being perfect to take photos and make memories you’d never forget, your reflection offered back to you with perfect clearness among the ripples when you snook a look over the edge and into the water. The Spray waterfalls were serene and pretty, as were each of the little beaches and shores that you passed by, even stopping at one for long enough to slip off your shoes and dig your toes into soft sand and feel the water lapping at your feet, before you’d been back on your way.

It was a kind of sightseeing that allowed you to get a beautiful experience without having to drive or walk yourselves, a welcome change, and you took it all in by cuddling up close to Mitch, his arm wrapped tightly around your shoulder and the other with your hands linked and sitting in his lap, the occasional small kiss or drag of his nose over your temple to reassure you that he was still there, and loving it all just as much as you were.

Once the cool of the evening rocked around, you spent the night driving up to Minneapolis, the real location in which you were passing through Minnesota for. That night, you were curled up in the back of the car again, the place that had so rapidly become your home, and you were beginning to feel that you’d miss the cramped but cosy little space once you got home, your bedroom would feel like that of a palace as you gained all of the space back, and you just hoped not too many spiders had moved in with your absence.

“‘m fuckin’ sleeping.” He muttered, and you giggled into his skin, pausing from where you’d been trailing kisses up and along his jaw, waking him up once the light of the morning had begun to seep into the car and disturb you from your slumber. You hummed in agreement, muttering out a cheery ‘okay’, before pulling back, and he groaned once again, tipping his face towards you and scowling without even opening his eyes. “I didn’t say stop.”

“I already have now, it’s too late.” He huffed out at that, his entire face becoming even more dismal, and you ignored his whines, busying yourself with sitting up properly, and searching around for your phone, tracing the charging wire to find the device down the back of a chair, and he gave in, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes to clear away any traces of sleep, before he was sitting up a little more himself head and shoulders propped up by freshly fluffed pillows.

“Fine. I’m awake. What do you want?”

Well, well, someone is moody this morning.” You mumbled, looking down at your phone, and he reached a hand out, squeezing the bare skin of your thigh, fingertips digging into your muscle, before his head was leaning on your shoulder, a loud yawning sounding out.

“Can’t blame me. You tease me with kisses and then refuse to give me anymore.”

“You didn’t ask for more, did you?”

He twisted his head, pressing his lips to your cheek before stretching out, the sound of joints popping filling the small space as he awakened a little more. “That’s all it takes, then?”

“Ask, and ye shall receive.” You were a little distracted now, scrolling through your notifications, and two fingers redirected your face towards him, his lips already a little puckered as his own eyes were staring at yours as you nibbled on your lower lip. Leaning in, you dropped down your phone, hands finding his cheeks and you held onto him carefully, and you felt the soft sigh he let out in return as your lips worked together slowly. “See? Just like that.”

“You’re cute.” His lips brushed yours as he spoke the words, before he was pulling away, eyes travelling shamelessly along your body, and he grinned lopsidedly at the sight of you in one of the shirts you’d stolen from him, bringing up a finger to tug at the neckline. “Wearing my clothes already, huh? Awfully domestic of you.”

“I'm surprised you even know the word domestic.” You scoffed, and he flicked at your nose as retaliation, chuckling at the sound you let out in protest, but he then picked up the phone, holding it back out for you, and raising a brow.

“So, do we have a plan, or are we winging it today?”

“Not so much a plan, just a few ideas.” He prompted you on with a single look, and you pulled up your notes, going over some of the things you’d brainstormed to do, choosing the ones that you were most in the mood for. “We could go to Minnehaha park, and the falls, an-”

“Say that again?”

“Minnehaha?” You questioned, watching as he snickered at the word, and you rolled your eyes as realisation found you. “Oh, you are such a child.” Despite chastising him, you couldn't help but laugh a little yourself, the two of you giggling at the word, finding more entertainment than it actually provided.

“Sounds fun, you wanna’ find us somewhere to go wash up and get some breakfast?” He tapped at the screen, and you hummed, switching to google maps and finding your next stop as he climbed up and into the driver's seat, the car rumbling to life underneath you.

Upon finding one, you hooked up the device to the car, directions reading out clearly over the speakers, and seated yourself in the passenger seat. After a quick clean up and more than enough jam and toast for one lifetime, you were on your way, the final chunk of the journey before reaching the capital city, and your day was truly beginning. Warmth washed over you both, the park welcoming you as the day hit noon, and you couldn't decide which direction you wanted to walk in first.

It was large, you wanted to see the falls, as well as the bridges and the little wooden gazebos, and so you were left with hours to simply walk the pathways and take your time in admiring everything. You had settled on starting out with one of the less crowded routes, not wanting to fight through the crowds to get to attractions and so you were more than happy to take the scenic routes.

“Have you ever danced under one of those?”

“A gazebo?” He snorted, letting you hook your arm through his as the two of you wandered away across the gardens, following the paths under the shading of trees, the sunlight filtering through between the leaves and catching the golden specs in his eyes as you looked up at him. You only nodded though, and he let his gaze flick over to one of the structures, taking it in carefully, and his smile faded away, becoming more nostalgic than cheerful, and he swallowed thickly. “No, but I know Kat wanted to at her wedding. I was her date to a family party once, it was in a park, and the band was playing on one. She told me she wanted to dance on one at her wedding.”

“I’m sorry, Mitch..”

Your words came out like a whisper, a disapproving sound in the back of his throat sounding, and he pulled his arm from yours, wrapping it tightly around your shoulders, curling you into his body, warm hand running up and down your arm. “What could you possibly have to be sorry for?”

“I don’t know. For making you talk about it? It just seemed like one of those times a person would apologise.”

“It doesn’t hurt to talk about anymore, and it’s okay.” He pressed a kiss to your temple, before clearing his throat a little, and you watched as heat crawled up his cheeks, tinting them a shade of pink that made him look positively adorable, your heart flipping in your chest as the two of you continued to meander along the trails. “She’ll always be special to me, y’know? It’s nice to be able to talk about her now, she was important to me. It’s nice to have a girlfriend who doesn’t mind me talking about my past, and someone I don’t have to hide things from. It’s really nice, actually.”

It was the first time either of you had put a label on anything, and well he had said it so casually you’d think it was the thousandth time he'd spoken the word. The blush on his cheeks and the way he was suddenly fascinated by the pebble he was kicking along and scuffing the toes of his sneakers with was a different story, though, and it made you want to snicker at the different sides of him. He would have the world believe he was locked off and cold, but in reality, he was nothing but a softie at heart, made up entirely of mush and warmth and insecurities, and you loved knowing the real side of him.

You pulled him to a stop, catching his lips with your own before he’d even had a chance to ask what was wrong, and he let out a high-pitched sound of content surprise into your mouth, before he was pushing back into you with just as much enthusiasm, his hands coming to settle on your waist. Tugging you infinitely closer, there was no space left between your bodies, your arms looping around his neck to hold him close as palms smoothed over your bag, fingers dancing along your spine.

It was deep and passionate, nothing sexual and nothing more needed, just enough to conform between you both that he’d said the words and you’d accepted them, and agreement on where the two of you stood without stuttering words and heated cheeks needing to flame up, but simply a confession without words. Soft lips teased over your own, dragging in delicate motions before he was diving in, taking it as far as to tease you with drags of teeth over soft skin, before he was returning to barely brushing his mouth over your own at all.

Your heart was racing and your head was spinning, and you were broken apart only when your body was shoved a little by a dog that was racing past at high speeds, bumping your leg with enough force to send you stumbling a little, and two young children raced past after it, a huffing and puffing father following too.

You weren’t sure what to expect really, that was exactly what happened when you stopped in the middle of a park pathway to kiss your boyfriend, but you wouldn't change it for the world. His nose was bumping against yours, a soft chuckle leaving him, before you were taking your place by his side once again, slipping your hand into his and weaving your fingers together.

You were more than happy to just trail around the park with him, letting him guide you, and it seemed he didn’t know where the two of you were going either, but you were soaking up the days with him, making the most of your trip. You were more than halfway through, almost at the end of it all, and yet you still didn’t know whether to or not you were ready for it to end. You’d planned this trip around finding yourself, around discovering who you really were. It wasn’t that you had no idea who that was, but busy lives and societal stress had a way of trying to mould you and force you into being someone else, and along the way, you’d not only remembered who you were, but you’d also managed to wrangle Mitch back into being himself, you’d helped crack him out of the cement that was sealing him down, and you just hoped that at the end, he didn’t retreat back into the stone.

After your walk through the park, you got dinner, sharing a bowl of pasta and a pizza over the table, before heading back to the car. You took the long route, though, wandering for a while through the streets, and watching as the sun set over the skyline of Minnesota, pastel colours painting the skies. Blues and oranges that made the clouds look purple and grey, a surreal kind of painting that silhouette everything before it as not to be outshone. Beauty created by nature that you oh-so-loved to see, never getting tired of watching the sun dip below the horizon, signalling the end of another day, only to promise to return to you hours later, and bring a whole new realm of possibilities when it rises again.

He chose to drive, as long as you sorted through the music, his boldness shining through more and more over the last few weeks, and he was judging your taste in music as the last few songs made him cringe, so if he was driving, you had to properly DJ for the pair of you, and keep his mood up with better songs.

Night crawled in over the sky as pastels faded into something deeper and darker, and you were left to simply admire the way the night moved on instead. A few snacks and a lot of singing later, your throat was a little sore and your voice slightly raspy, as was his own, sleep threatening to come and claim the both of you, the highway fading away into the distance as you pulled off onto the side roads.

“You know, we’ve done all the long drives now. We only have all the little ones, they’re all five hours or less.” You offered, pulling out the large paper map and spreading it out across your lap as Mitch drove, the fabric rustling as his hands shifted out from your thigh to allow you to smooth it down.

“I would still consider five hours a long drive.”

“Yeah, well, you only have to do half of them, don’t you? We’ll swap halfway.” You dragged your finger over all the spots you’d passed, overdue on crossing off each of your places, before shuffling around through every place you could think of to find your marker. You checked the glovebox, the dashboard, and the cupholder, before finally finding it buried in the side-compartments of the door.

“Hey, I’ll happily do the drives, I just think we have different definitions of what is a long drive.” He grinned, and you rolled your eyes, uncapping the marker with your teeth and crossing off all of the locations up to where you were, ‘Wisconsin’ being the next place up on your tour of the country. Folding your map away, you tucked it back into place, waiting patiently for Mitch to give you his attention again, and when he didn’t, you reached across the console to take his hand in your own, pulling it back to smooth over your thigh, and he chuckled, letting you unfurl his fingers until he could squeeze at your thigh reassuringly.

“Okay, we have quite a few options for things to do in Wisconsin, you ready to hear ‘em?”

“Shoot!” He cheered, and you jumped a little at the exaggerated enthusiasm he gave to you, before you were giggling along at the way he smirked pridefully at having scared you. “Sorry, baby, go ahead.”

“Okay, well, we have a lot. We have general touristy attractions, as well as some better things, and some options on places to eat, too.”

“Start with activities.”

You nodded your head at his command, scrolling down through the notes on your phone, thumb flicking quickly, before finding where you needed to be. He was following the occasional commends from the device you held as it guided you both in towards a truck stop that you could pull over onto for the night, taking a break from the long day you’d had and all the driving you’d done, the bed beginning to call for you both, but you wanted somewhere safe to stop, first. “Okay, so we could go to a waterpark? I don’t know if that’s your thing, but it’s an option.”

“Pass. I like waterparks, but the ones where it’s hot. Wisconsin feels a bit cold for that.”

“Fair point. A ‘no’ on the waterpark, then.” You crossed it off of the list, before finding the next one, and grinning at the suggestions came up. “We also have an amusement park, Olbrich botanical gardens, the cave of mounds, Milwaukee river wal-”

“Wait, wait, wait. Go back by one?”

“The cave of mounds?” A bashful smile broke out on his face, and as he made yet another turn down some of the dimly lit roads, his head twisted towards you to give you a disbelieving look. “What?”

“You don’t find the humour in that?” You thought about it for a second, before letting out a groan with your breath.

“You’re such a child!” You slapped at his arm, ignoring the sound that he let out in protest, and fighting back with the hand he freed from the steering wheel to fight back, the car jerking roughly with every slide the two of you made, swerving on the empty roads, before you called it a draw, weaving into the parking lot, spotted with other vehicles around the place.

“C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t find it entertaining! The cave of mounds.” His hand on your thigh again slipped a little lower, pushing between your legs and you gasped, before smacking him away and he smirked to himself, before using both hands to find somewhere to park, away from everyone else. “I know a mound with a cave that I’d very definitely like to explore.”

As the car died, he turned towards you, and you felt the heat wash over your features quickly, gaping at him a little. “You are awful. That was awful.”

He leaned over the centre, brushing a stubbled cheek against your own, before pulling your lower lip away a little in a loose bite, letting it go when you whimpered for him. “C’mon, you telling me you don’t want me to explore your cave?” You wanted to gag at the way he phrased it, but the pun entertained you both, and you whined as he climbed between the seats and into the back, kicking off the shoes and throwing them forwards, one of them bouncing from the wheel and dropping into the driver’s seat. “Gonna’ come back here and join me?”

“I haven’t even read you the place to eat yet!” You scoffed, but toed off your shoes anyway, unclipping yourself from your seat, and he grinned as you crawled between the seats. He took the phone from your hands, clicking it off and leaving it on the cushion you’d just abandoned, before his body was pressing your own back onto the mattress, hands supporting his weight on either side of you as his lips brushed teasing over your own.

“I already know what I want to eat.”

His tongue flicked out over your upper lip as you gasped, a hand lacing into his hair as you grinned, giving into his wicked ways, before letting his mouth clash with your own.

Following Wisconsin was Chicago, and you arrived in the early evening, pulling up into a truck-stop not too far outside of the city. It was one of the nicer ones that you’d been too, that was for sure, it was well lit without the lights being dingy and flickering yellow, and it wasn’t as dirty and grubby as the others. The usual diner that you expected was more of a restaurant and bar, it seemed far too elegant to be classed as a ‘diner’, even if it did still have that kind of oldies vibe, with plush leather seats and songs that were older than Stan playing over the speakers.

You were then happy to use the bathrooms within which to change, you were certain that the patrons and staff here had seen more unusual and concerning things than you wandering around in a set of Bambi themed pyjamas, drinking hot cups of tea in the corner with a man in sweatpants and a hoodie. After all, no matter how classy it was, it was still a truck-stop.

Your first real day in the Windy City was quickly decided to be spent sightseeing, a decision the two of you had settled on over hot coffees and toast, before preparing yourselves for the day.

Today, you would be all-out tourists, even if just for twenty-four hours.

You were all but buzzing in the car as you walked along towards Millennium Park, your hand woven with the one belonging to the man beside you, your side pressed up to Mitch’s, cuddled in close to him, as a scarf sat wrapped around your shoulders to keep you warm and help fight the slight chill being carried on the breeze.

“I want to see the big, shiny bean.”

“The what?” You could hear the incredulity on his voice, humour laced with it, and you grinned, hiding the expressing in the edge of the wool sitting up near your face.

“You know, that big thing that’s shiny and shaped like a bean.”

“Do you mean the ‘Cloud Gate’ sculpture?” You let out a hum, and he scoffed under his breath, squeezing your hand in his a little tighter. “That is one of the most famous pieces of artwork in the world, I can’t believe you just called it ‘that big, shiny, bean thing’.” You turned to face him a little more, narrowed brown eyes with a honey-coloured tint already peering at you, his lips twisted down in a frown, but the little ticks along his muscles told you he was still deeply amused by it all. “You’re the worst. I can’t believe you don’t even know the names of these things.”

“Oh, hush. Stop being such a sourpuss.”

He grinned at you then, a smile like the Cheshire cat at what he was clearly taking to be a compliment, in his own twisted and unusual ways, but he didn’t have a chance to respond, as the two of you made it into the square, and you were letting out an excited squeal as the sight you were waiting for came into view. It was glimmering, clean and sparkling with the lights of the sun and the office buildings standing tall around it, reflecting from its perfectly untarnished surface, and your pace picked up a little.

There were many other people crowded around, groups of tourists and other couples, as well as people who were slightly less fazed by the beautiful sighs, clearly locals who were accustomed to seeing it every day. Business workers rushed around in smart suits and blazers, briefcases in hand and glasses sitting on the tips of your nose as they barked orders into their phones, uncaring of who’s shoulders they bumped as they passed by, and even if being in the lesser-known world that your boyfriend and uncle worked in, you’d never trade or for a boring nine to five any day, you secretly liked a little thrill. Basic was never something you could roll with.

Placing your hand flat to the cool metal, Mitch did the same, both of you watching in awe as the slight fog that had built up in place fade away quickly, as though you’d never touched it at all.

“It’s so clean.”

“I was just thinking that.” He mumbled, licking the tip of his finger and smearing it over the surface, before watching as that seemed to dry and disappear too, leaving no trace of his disgusting act. You were staring at him, jaw dropped a little, and he turned to face you, raising his brows as you did, and you didn’t give up on the stare. “What?”

“You did not just lick the shiny bean thing.”

“I didn’t!” his face screwed up a little at the thought, nose wrinkling as he scowled at the idea, and your brows only shot up further. “I didn’t! I licked my finger, and then wiped it on the metal. I wanted to see how it stayed so clean, it’s weird!”

“It’s gross!”

“I didn’t put the finger back in my mouth afterwards!” He was smiling now, a few people glancing over at your raised voices as you argued playfully, and he made an attempt to tug you in closer, but you resisted, fighting off his attempts at affections as you held your end of the argument. “So, my spit is gross now?”

“Yes!”

“You don’t seem to have that opinion when you’re swapping spit with me late at night.” He teased, nipping a little at your ear as he managed to wrangle you until your back was pressed to his chest, and you gave in, letting him wrap his arms around you full, and press an overly wet kiss to your cheek, that made you groan out at him. “Say it! Admit that you like it!”

“It’s different!” You laughed, letting him walk you away from the crowds some more, and he shook his head, spinning you around to face him once again, a question silent on his tongue but dancing in his eyes as he watched you. “You know it's different.”

He grinned, lips brushing yours in a teasing kiss, before he shrugged giving in. “Fine, it’s different. Whatever.”

He let out a heavy sigh, and you cheered under your breath as he caved, quietly acknowledging your victory. “So, what do you want to do, Mr Rapp?”

“I like when you say that.” He grinned, bumping the tip of his nose over your own, before taking your hand, guiding you along and away from the busy spots, leading you in slow steps as he considered it all. “Let’s do that tall tower thing, you know? The one with the glass deck you can stand on. We could take some pretty awesome pictures.”

“That ‘tower thing’? With the glass?” You rolled your eyes, and he shot you a dirty look, already seeming to guess where this was going, lips pursed as he watched your face grow in extreme mischief, biting on the inside of his cheek to contain his sounds of distaste. “Do you mean the Willis Tower sky deck?”

“Yes.” The words were spoken through gritted teeth, his body going a little rigid in his steps and he fixed his gaze ahead, ignoring everything you said at this point, but that didn’t stop you from carrying on.

Your voice dropped down to mimic his own as you spoke a variation on his own words back to him; “I can’t believe you don’t even know that names of these things.”

“I don’t like you.”

“Yes, you do!” You sang the words, giggling when he growled under his breath in warning, but only a second later, he was pulling you in close, cutting off your taunting and teasing as his mouth sealed over yours, a squeak leaving you when his tongue swept over your lower lip.

You weighed the argument in your mind, knowing that you were in public, and that hew as trying to distract you from mocking him some more, but you couldn't think straight with the way his fingers inched under the edge of your jacket, warm palms barely blocked from your skin by a thin layer of material, before he was pulling you in closer. Your front was pressed up to his, heart beating wildly in your chest, and he let out a disappointed sound on the back of his throat as you resisted him.

Instead, he swapped tactics, sucking the plump piece between his own, grazing over it with his teeth, and letting out a breathy sigh as you gasped at the sensation, before giving in, your mouth parting further until his tongue tangled with your own, your arms looping around his neck to hold yourself closer to him. You could feel his smile now, pressed to your mouth as you gave into his touch, caving into him, and he was more than happy to take from you anything that you’d give him.

When the burn for oxygen became too much, you broke away, the heat of embarrassment on your cheeks being enough to chase out the cold, and he was painting a little too, the red on his pale flesh showing that he felt the same as you, but it didn’t stop him from stealing a few more pecks form you each time you tried to speak or catch your breath.

“What was that about?”

“Had to shut you up somehow.” He grinned, wrapping his arm over your shoulder to hold you to his body, without ever letting go of your hand. “Swapping my gross spit with you seemed like a good way to go about it.”

“Are you going to let that go?”

“No. Probably not.” He teased, pulling his phone from his other pocket and beginning to search for directions to the Sky-deck, before a sudden chuckle left him. “We both know I’m really good at holding grudges.”

Your breath hitched in your throat for a second as you weighed out the dark joke, replaying his words in your mind to be sure you’d heard them correctly, and they still felt surreal, before you were letting out a laugh yourself at his statement. “I cannot believe you just made that joke.”

“It’s my trauma and I’ll joke about it if I want to.”

You chuckled with a shake of your head, following the directions being read out from the device in his hand as the voice guided you toward your next attraction a shake of your head carrying you through. It was a short and brisk walk, followed by further bickering, lighthearted and instantly forgotten as you wandered along, and much to your joy, there was only a short queue to get to the little glass platform, but once you reached it, you couldn't deny just how exceptional the view was.

It was so high up that the view granting you the ability to look all the way out to the horizon, the greys and dull browns of the city fading away into shades of green towards the edges, countryside and trees taking over from cityscapes and concrete, and it was breathtaking. Pressing both of your hands up to the glass, you took it all in, observing the beautiful sights, and memorising it all, before looking down, fear striking through you as you took in the clear glass below you that slipped away into nothing, one hundred and three stories up into the air, and supported by nothing but a sheet of clear glass, the people buzzing around below your sets of feet was terrifying, and yet adrenaline searched through you just at the idea.

“It’s scary, right?”

“I thought you weren’t afraid of anything, big shot assassin and all?” He grinned, shaking his head, hair flopping into his eyes and before he could push it away himself, you raised your hands up, cold fingertips smoothing over his cheeks before pushing the silky hair away from his face, his eyes fixed on your own the entire time. His head twisted to the side, lips brushing over your palm in a sweet gesture, before he was wiggling his phone at you once again.

“Want to take a picture? I need a new lock screen.”

“Sure!” He unlocked the phone, letting you guide him into a position you liked as you took in the landscape, before you were cuddling into his side, offering a sweet smile to the camera as he matched it, and he pressed his thumb down on the button, both of you pulling it back to look at it. As selfies went, it wasn’t horrendous, but it certainly wasn’t the best picture ever, and you frowned at the light that was covering your faces in an odd glow as the light came through the glass. “Huh. Not our best picture.”

“Yeah. I can agree with that. You still look cute, though.”

“I kinda’ look like a frog, if you squint.” He did as you said, before laughing at it, turning to look at you and squinting, and you shoved your hand in his face as he held the phone up in comparison. “Don’t get it stuck in your head.”

“You’re a cute frog, at least!” He grinned at you, letting you snatch the phone from his hand. You wandered away, passing it to a mother who was tiredly staring at here three kids as they blew hot air onto the windows and drew faces and wrote rude words, and she seemed more than happy for the distraction, even if it was just taking pictures for someone else. Making your way back over to him, he already had his arms held out for you, and you turned to face the woman as she gave you both a countdown. You felt lips brush your ear as she reached two, warm breath washing over your skin, making you shover a little as he whispered into your ear; “Ribbit.”

You couldn't help it, the normal smile you had held morphing into a whole-body grin, his arms around your waist being all that held you upright as you tried to curl in with your amusement, and she walked back over, giving the device back to you quickly, before dashing off to wrangle her kids back up. You took it, looking down at the image, and despite his sudden mumblings into your ear, it was still one of the best photos the two of you had ever taken.

You were silhouetted against the backdrop, his nose brushing your cheek as your eyes closed, a wide grin on your face, holding tightly onto one another as sunlight poured in from behind, and the glass was barely noticeable, almost making the two of you look as though you were floating on the light above the city.

“Okay, that’s a good one, admittedly.”

The two of you stepped away from the spot as he hummed, letting the next people have their turn, and instead you watched as he set the new picture onto his phone as the wallpaper, and you leaned in, kissing a stubbly cheek quickly as your chest bubbled over with warmth from the inside out. Sticking your hands into your pockets, you wiggled numbing fingers a little, wishing you’d brought gloves, but you were more than happy to deal with the cold if it meant getting to cuddle into his side like you did every time he wrapped his arm around you, like he was doing right now.

Fingertips tucked under the edge of your shirt, nails brushing over bare skin as he traced unrecognisable patterns, phone back into his jacket pocket securely. “So, what now?”

“Well, I heard there was a drive-in movie place near here. Wha’d’ya say we get some takeout food, and go and check it out. If we park the car backwards, we don’t even have to get out, we can just cuddle in the bed and watch.” He shrugged a little, letting you go so that you could begin to climb down the stairs on your way back towards the streets, and you thought it all over.

“I think that sounds perfect.”

You had a surprise for Mitch on your second day in Chicago, and you were bursting to tell him about it, but had saved the thought until after you’d had your breakfast. Instead of the usual diner, you’d waited long enough to find a little outdoor café, sipping on mimosas and you giggled about the fancy life you could have had if you’d taken different paths at different stages of your lives, but you still reminisced about everything that led you to being right here, with one another.

You walked along the rover, burning off the champagne in your drinks before stopping for a quick bite at lunch, and then, you were leading him along towards the next attraction you had in store, under the guise of a simple walk to explore. He began to catch on part of the way around, the posters and signs starting to give it away, and while you didn’t confirm it until you were getting into the museum, he spent a good ten minutes almost bouncing in his steps as you walked.

It was adorable, the way he let loose and actually allowed himself to feel the excitement he had as you walked along, a tour of a world war two submarine, because you weren’t blind to the way he’d been excited about the other kinds of attractions you’d visited during your time on the road. He was grinning madly when he looked at the sight, being guided down underground to where it lay, and you heard him gasp audibly when it came into sight.

It truly was incredible, so big you had to tilt your head just to see the entirety of it. The length of a city block, massive and supported on stilts, and you had no idea how much it must weigh, but it was an incredible feat, and even you were excited to learn about it. The dock along the side of it was decorated with interactive pieces from within, as well as pedestals with information on them, and scripts to be read, explaining and giving insight on what you were seeing, plenty for the two of you to learn about.

It took all afternoon and into the late evening, only leaving when you were eventually beginning to be ushered out by the workers, and you were pretty sure he’d memorised every piece of information, and he was all but walking on clouds as you made your way back to the car, intending to get a good night’s sleep before your journey tomorrow as you drove up to Michigan would begin. His arms were wrapped around you, and it seemed that you had inadvertently bought yourself some extra affections, because he was peppering kisses to your skin and nuzzling his nose into your temple the entire way home, snuggling you close into his body and holding on tightly.

“I take it that you had fun, then?” You teased, slipping off your shoes to try and wiggle into your pyjamas, and you let out a distant sound of protest when he snatched your clothes from your hands, before his fingers were smoothing over your cheeks, pulling you down to his mouth as he rolled your body on top of his.

“I had the best time. It was amazing.” He whispered the words into your mouth, syrupy sweet kisses given to you between words, and you were left breathless as he incessantly kissed the air form your lungs, but you didn’t care, because the burning inside only made everything feel more heightened, your head spinning and hazy. “I’m not used to people doing such nice things for me anymore, so thank you.”

“It was just some tickets to see a submarine, I feel like you’re giving me more in return than I gave you.” You teased, and he gassed, nipping on your lower lip, and using the tip of his nose to move your head to the side, dragging his mouth along your jaw and further down. You could barely think straight as he sucked at the tender skin along your collarbones, pushing your shirt up a little so that he could rest his hands on your waist, and you took his face in your hands, bringing his gaze back to yours, and he peered up at you through dark eyes, vulnerability flashing over his features.

“It was nothing, Mitch, I just wanted to make you happy. Clearly, I got that right.”

He stared up at you, swallowing thickly before nodding his head, and he pulled you down into his arms, your foreheads pressed together as your breaths were shared, intimate and loving and you held one another. “Thank you.”

His voice cracked as he spoke, and you dragged your lips over his in a final kiss, before curling down into his body. “You’re welcome.” You pressed a hand over his heart, feeling it thud steadily and quickly under your palm, before your nails were scratching a little at his skin through the henley on his chest, scrunching it up in your hands as you clung to him. “So, you wanna’ tell me about your favourite part of the submarine?”

“Fuck, yeah, I do.”

Michigan featured a trip out to Mackinac Island, arriving in the late morning after breakfast on the road, Mitch having kept you up late into the night to talk, everything from the submarine, to other random facts he knew about war vehicles - seemingly a passion of his that you’d unlocked, and you made a mental note to make more historical-feature related trips with him in the future - and it had devolved into meaningless chatter.

Soaking up the sun with pretty sights and beautiful settings, you wandered the whole expanse, pretty white buildings and greenery, with streets of cobblestones, bicycles riding up and down in place of tyre tracks and pollution, and it was a little snap out of reality. There were horses pulling carts along the streets and lampposts with hanging flowers, old-fashioned and beautiful with bulbs that would light up when darkness came around, and you could only imagine how ethereal the beautiful streets would look when glowing with the golden light that would spill from them.

A break away from reality, something that seemed like you’d stepped into a painting, like another world in a movie or the kind of setting you could only picture in your mind or found described in a good book and a grizzly and grey day, filled with rain on lashing windows. You would’ve loved it in the rain or the snow, but you were fortunate enough to enjoy it with golden hues from the sun cast down over you both, sunglasses perched on your nose and his as you took in everything the little island had to give.

The pair of you were unwilling to leave until the sun was setting and it was getting too cold to remain outside any longer, and yet you still lingered for as long as you possibly could. It was surreal, memories you’d never forget, and you were too tired on the way back to the car to even think about the words Mitch was saying, to properly process them as you leant onto his shoulder and let him prop you up as you walked along, your cheek pressed to the curve of his arm as your eyes fluttered, closed longer than they were open, and you moved through your bedtime routine on autopilot.

He was whispering quiet words to you about how you’d almost come full-circle, chatting about everything the two of you had done so far around the trip, and while you could only hum along and nod with a sleepy smile now as he curled you into his arms, those same thoughts would come back to haunt you with troubles and worries in the morning.

You were squirming a little in your seat, keeping your eyes locked on the road ahead, fingers picking at the material of your leggings on the leg closest to him, a bid to keep his hand off of you, even though he occasionally managed to sneak his hand onto the spot for a little while when your guard fell.

You were trying your best, but you weren’t excellent at hiding how you felt. You may have been trained by the best in the business at the physical aspects, but you were never good at the rest that came with that job field. You were an open book, you didn’t possess the same ability to lock everything up tight like Mitch did, or create a façade of anger and arrogance like your uncle did. The atmosphere around you was stagnant and bored, the conversation having fizzled out long ago, the music being all there was to keep you company as the two of you hummed along in quiet, and you knew that Mitch could tell something was up, but he wasn’t pressing on it, and you were thankful for that.

When you passed the sign welcoming you into Dayton, Ohio, you were met with a soft sigh from him, and he flicked on the indicators, pulling onto the side of the road. You watched in confusion, a strangled noise leaving him as he cut across the lanes, ignoring the honking and swerving of other cars, before the vehicle was shuddering a little bit and rolling to a stop along the mud and gravel, and he turned to face you, making a point of switching off the car, keys jingling.

With a forearm resting over the steering wheel, his entire body twisted, and you swallowed thickly, avoiding his gaze and choosing to stare out at the road, tracking the other cars with your eyes to keep you busy as his stare burned into the side of your face.

“Alright, spill. Did I do something? Because, kitten, if I did, I’m sorry. Just tell me what’s up so I can fix it, because I don’t like this dead air between us. Now I get how you felt for that first week or so, and it fucking sucks, alright?” He huffed, and you gave in, guilt eating away at you as you turned to face him, and he leaned in over the console a little bit, but it didn’t give him much access to you. He shook his head instead, growling a little under his breath at not being able to reach you, and you gave him the most reassuring smile that you could muster.

“You didn’t do anything. I was just thinking about what we should do today. We have two options, but they’re at other ends of the state, and I was just weighing the pros and c-”

“Bullshit. Why are you lying to me?” He fixed you with a pointed look, your jaw snapping shut, a tick in the muscle from the force at which the muscles clenched. “Please.”

His voice cracked a little as the beg came out, wide brown eyes shining as he stared at you, vulnerable and lost and a little bit upset, and you caved in, your hands clenching up as you pulled them closer to your chest to try and cave in on yourself, but he was watching you carefully as you sat there, uncomfortable under the scrutiny. He moved when you looked up, your eyes wider than his own and he knew it wasn’t something he had done, and his hands fumbled to unclip himself from the car. Only a second later, his door was opening, and you were watching with a hanging jaw as he rounded the vehicle in a jog, before opening your side too.

He reached over your body, undoing your buckle too, and manhandling you in the leather seat until he had you twisted around, parting your legs to be able to stand between them as he rose a hand to tuck stray hair away from your face, palm settling over your jaw and fingers digging into your neck a little, thumb tracing soothing patterns from where it lay. “Just tell me, what’s wrong?”

“You know this could be our last day, right?” His brows furrowed, a wrinkle forming between them, and you raised your finger to smooth it away, feeling him chuckle a little at the action, but continue to wait for your explanation. “We’re close to Virginia now, and we’ve been on the road for, like, two months. If you were sick of it now and wanted to go home, I’d get it.”

“Sick of it?”

You shrugged, knowing that he’d picked up the hidden meaning in your words, and his hands dropped down, large palms massaging at your thighs on either side of his waist in a comforting act, before he was leaning in, and pressing a lingering kiss to your lips, one that had your stomach swooping with butterflies, like the feeling of dropping on a rollercoaster, before he was pulling away, lips brushing over your forehead. He let out a little sigh, before making sure you were looking at him as he grinned, raising his brows a little as he tried to ease your nerves.

“What’s your plan, kitten? What are you planning to do?”

“Well, I want to go right up around New York and such too, full circle, y’know?” You made a circle motion with your hands, both of you laughing quietly. “It’s another week and a half’s worth of stops, maybe? Not too long, but if you wanted to go home, I would understand.”

“What I want is to get the full road trip experience with you, and I want to go.”

You perked up, looking up at him with wide eyes, finally bringing your own hands up to smoothing along his arms and to his shoulders, shuffling forward to the edge of your seat and pressing your forehead to his own. “Really?”

“This is what you’ve been panicking about this whole time? Why you’ve been giving me the silent treatment for two and a half hours?”

He shook his head, a breathy sound leaving him, the exhale washing over your face, and he grinned cheesily, bringing your mouth back to his. It was a reassuring kiss, comforting and caring, and making your heart slow from the irregular and erratic pumping it had been doing with your nerves racing, leaving you instead to lace your fingers into his hair, pulling him closer as your head tipped to the side. Like velvet and silk, your mouths slid together, harmony in their movements, and you drowned into his touch, just for a little while.

“Please can we go back to normal now?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sorry. I got all wrapped up in my thoughts, and I-” You choked on your words, letting out a ragged sigh, and he stepped back long enough to let you see his entire face.

“This road trip changed my life, and I want to finish it.”

You just nodded your head, receiving a final kiss from him, before he was untangling his body from your own and circling back to his own seat, as you slammed shut the door and fastened yourself into your seat once again. Once the car had started up and you were back on the road, he held his hand out to you, which you now had no qualms in accepting, slipping your palm up to his, and letting him lift your hand to his mouth, lips pressing to your knuckles sweetly.

“How about you choose what we do for the day? For real, this time. Tell me what would cheer you up.”

“Why don’t we go to the airbase, it’s near here. Then we can get some food that looks so damn good, it’s Instagram worthy.” He let out a chuckle, shrugging his shoulders.

“You want to go to the air force base? Really?”

“Well, I’m pretty evenly split on both the possible activities, but I know that you really want to go to the air force base, and so I am more than happy to do that with you.” He let out a teasing ‘awe’ at your words, and your cheeks heated up with a flush of embarrassment.

“Okay, air force base it is.” He whispered, settling your joint hands over the gear stick to switch as needed, but never letting you go, holding on tightly as he began to follow the signs flashing up along the side of the road to guide you on your way.

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inastrangerskiss · 3 years

Text

emerald view park

Timothy Thatcher x Reader

content warning: references to alcohol and drinking/being drunk, other than that just a good deal of fluff

summary: you're a few hours from home on the final stretch of your road trip with tim

The sound of the wheels beneath your bodies was rhythmic. Tim drove while you controlled the music. The sun was beginning to set on another long day on the road but neither of you felt tired. You were in Florida now, nearly home. The landscape was flat, large factories taking up space in the open area, surrounded by groves of trees. The windows were down, blowing Tim’s strawberry blonde hair back and forth. The scent of orange blossoms filled the car, all candy sweet and sugary.

You took a deep breath, embracing the moment, knowing it was one of the last you’d experience on this vacation. In a few days time you’d be back to work and Tim would be off touring again. You wanted the trip to last another week, another day, just a few more hours but reality had to set back in.

The trip had taken you up to Pittsburgh. You showed him where your grandmother had grown up, a small house tucked behind a hillside in a suburb. No one lived there anymore, the town only haunted by the ghosts of your relatives. A part of your heart found it lonely when you looked at the home, the people inside it’s walls none the wiser to your ties to them, but Tim squeezed your hand and you kept driving. Later in the day you took him into the city to get a real Philly cheesesteak. He complained about the carbs and the grease but you batted your eyelashes and he agreed to eat it. He traced a finger down your cheek as you sat in Emerald View Park, looking at the city as the lights came on.

“You look beautiful, by the way.” He murmured.

“I look like shit, Tim.”

“You look beautiful.”

You elbowed him in the chest with a laugh but he kissed you all the same, his hand resting on your hip, his body shielding you from the cool breeze. You leaned into him and he held you tighter.

Your car broke down somewhere in St. Louis. The engine began sputtering as you rode down the highway and grey smoke began puffing out of the hood. You told Tim to pull over but he was convinced he could drive farther. He didn’t stop until you stomped your foot and yelled at him.

“Did you get the oil changed?” He asked, leaning over the engine as if he had a clue.

“It didn’t need an oil change.”

“It did!” He shouted, wiping sweat from his neck. “If you had just done what I told you to do-”

“If I had just done what you told me to do? Oh, I’m sorry that I disobeyed you, sir.”

TIm only shook his head. “You’ll be lucky if this thing ever runs again.” He muttered.

The car ended up getting fixed and towed to a mechanic. It wasn’t a missing oil change or a lack of oil. In fact it had nothing to do with any dropped ball on your part. A hose or something (you hadn’t really been listening, too busy giving Tim the cold shoulder) had broken and needed a quick replacement. The two of you stayed in a motel overnight. Out of pettiness you requested a room with two beds while Tim rolled his eyes. It wasn’t until you found a bug under your covers that the wall you had built up against him suddenly crumbled.

“I’m sorry for raising my voice. That wasn’t polite.” He spoke into your hair, punctuating his words with a kiss.

His arms were wound tightly around your body as you fell asleep against his chest. You didn’t think you’d be able to get any rest in such a seedy place but as soon as your head met his upper torso you found solace and room in your mind to rest.

The next few days weren’t spent sightseeing. You had lost time with the car breaking down so you drove clear across the country until you reached Oakland. He took the wheel again when you passed through the city limits, showing you where he went to school as a child, where he got into his first fight, where he and his grandmother used to go for dinner on the nights she was too tired to cook. He brought you to the family home where he cooked for you with a degree of skill you hadn’t quite expected. You met relatives and learned their stories, exchanging tales from your childhood for tales of Tim’s.

Late at night, you curled up into bed, happy to no longer be in a hotel.

“I love you.” Tim whispered.

“I love you too.” You whispered right back.

“No, I mean, I love love you.”

You stared at him for a moment, his face looking almost tentative in the darkened bedroom. A smile crossed your cheeks. “I know. And I love love you too.”

You kissed him gently on the lips and, as if your smile was a transferable currency he formed a grin of his own.

You lost $500 in Las Vegas, the more you dove into the red the more open your wallet became. Tim forced you to go to bed before going down to the casino himself. In an hour he had earned twice what you had lost. Even after you woke up the next morning he never mentioned the deficit he had managed to make up. He also never mentioned the ring he bought for you with the extra money left over. Instead, he kept it in the inside pocket of his suitcase, remembering it every time you turned to make sure he was still following you as you walked around new locales, every time you woke up in the car and sleepily reached out for him, every time your eyes flickered in his direction.

He got drunk in New Orleans, stumbling in every direction. You had never seen him really drunk and at first you were annoyed. He was much bigger than you and far too heavy for you to successfully hold him up without him nearly crushing you at least five separate times. But then he started laughing - really laughing - and you couldn’t help but find his inebriation charming. At one point he stopped, his hand heavy on your shoulder and stared at you. You couldn’t tell if he was about to get sick or if he had just completely forgotten who you were. But then a smile cracked over his face and he cupped your chin with the most grace he had had during the course of the entire evening. He then released you and began stumbling back down the path to your hotel, leaving you confused but with tiny butterflies stirring in your chest.

And then there you were, driving through the rural parts of Florida, only a couple hours away from home, orange blossom aroma in your car, sun streaming across Tim’s face, painting him a bright shade of gold, wishing you could have just a few more moments of freedom. Tim reached a stop sign. There were no cars coming for miles so he paused and looked at you. His eyes traced over yours, your cheeks, your lips, your hand. He laced his fingers in yours with a small, shy smile.

“You look beautiful, by the way.” He murmured.

You shook your head, not yet forgetting how he had curled a finger under your chin in Emerald View Park. Days and distance separated these two moments and this time it felt different. It felt like he meant something more. Something like a whisper saying “It’s okay. We’re home now. We made it. We’re home now”.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” You responded.

He smiled and put his foot on the gas once again. You were only a couple hours from home but that didn’t mean the vacation ever had to end.

#timothy thatcher x reader #timothy thatcher fanfiction #timothy thatcher #timothy thatcher imagine #nxt imagine

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marvels-writings · 4 years

Text

When the World is Against Us (12)

Dreams of the Future

Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch) Masterlist

Series Masterlist

A/N: I’d planned a song fic to be released today but this took up more time than expected and my wrist is being a bitch again so i hope you like this!

“Y/n, wake her up,” Your mom gestured to your girlfriend on top of you.

“We’re landing soon,”

“Can I ask where?” You asked in a hushed tone as not to wake up your girlfriend.

“Scotland, we’re going to be there for a few weeks,” Steve answered, his voice louder than your moms.

Wanda stirred, mumbling an incoherent sentence, and shifted above you. You glared at Steve, which only caused both of them to chuckle and return to the front of the jet. Wincing, you hated waking Wanda up. She looked peaceful when she slept.

You hated disturbing her from that.

“Hey,” you whispered, gently shaking her under the blanket. The Sokovian murmured something, tucking her head into your neck, her breath hitting your neck, making you shiver. But she still wasn’t awake.

“Come on, please?” You whispered, rubbing her back to draw her out of sleep.

Wanda seemed to stir at that, taking a deep breath and realizing where she was. She almost flinched away, scared you were going to hurt her. But when she felt your scent went through her nose, your arms around her. She relaxed into you.

“Five more minutes?” Wanda mumbled, unwilling to leave you.

You smiled. The sentence was so familiar it felt like home again. Memories flashed through your head, every time you slept in the same bed as Wanda, she pleaded for more time with you. You never had the heart to deny her, especially now.

“Okay,” You kissed the top of her head, wrapping your arms around her protectively.

Moments like these were the ones that kept you going, kept you from giving up. You never wanted to stop making more moments like these.

After a few more minutes, Wanda’s eyes finally fluttered open as she lifted herself off of you, her warmth leaving you. Moving so she was straddling you, she rubbed her eyes and looked down at you. You wore an affectionate grin on your face, your eyes soft. It made Wanda want to go back to sleep with you.

“Look who’s awake,” You teased.

Tilting your head to the side, you leaned forwards and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. The redhead yawned, tempted to go back to sleep. Light shown through the front of the jet, Wanda turned to see the sky and the ground.

The jet was landing.

After another yawn, Wanda removed herself from you and sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing her eyes. You got up, sitting down next to her, your thigh was brushing hers. Tired, the redhead leaned her head on your shoulder.

“Sleep well?” You asked, putting your arm across her shoulders and resting your head on top of hers.

Wanda hummed, sliding one arm across your waist. Without speaking, you looked towards your mom to ask how much time you had left. Natasha lifted four fingers, telling you how much time you had to get ready.

“Do you wanna get changed?” You asked, gesturing to the small suitcase of clothes you’d brought with you.

The redhead nodded against your shoulder. You got up and pulled the suitcase over, letting Wanda choose what she wanted to wear. She went near the secluded area of the jet to change. You turned around to give her privacy.

Arms wrapped around your waist within minutes, soft breath hit your neck as red hair splayed on your shoulders. You let out a hum, letting yourself treasure the moment. Wanda’s front pushed into your back as she swayed from side to side. Smiling, you leaned back into her touch, intertwining your fingers with hers.

The cold metal of her rings was absent, frowning, you lifted her hands to find them free of rings. Natasha had put all of Wanda’s spare jewelry in another suitcase. Patting her hand to signal for her to let you go, you went over to the suitcase and took out the small bag of her jewelry and handed it to her.

“Thank you, moya Lyubov,” Wanda said, accepting the bag and sitting down to put on the jewelry.

The nickname seemed oddly familiar, but you know Wanda hadn’t said it often. You went to the front of the jet to ask your mom about it. Sam had landed the jet and was initiating the cloaking device so no one would see the jet. Vision and Steve were talking about the past few days and the politics concerned with it.

“Hey, mom?” You asked, she hummed, turning to face you.

“What does moya Lyubov mean?”

Natasha almost snorted, it was a nickname she called you a few years after adopting you. But the nickname eventually wore off. She hadn’t heard it in years. Confident it had been Wanda to call you that, she explained what it meant.

“It means ‘my love’ in Russian,” Natasha explained, a wide grin on her face.

Your eyes widened, you gulped nervously and turned towards your girlfriend who was selecting rings to put on her fingers. Your mom laughed, patting your shoulder and helping Sam activate the cloaking. Licking your lips, you went to sit next to Wanda.

The witch dropped a ring into your palm to fidget with when she noticed how you were playing with your fingers. Chuckling at the action, you played with the small ring on your fingers. It was an intricately woven silver band embedded with small rubies.

“You can go sightseeing if you want,” Steve said, walking towards both of you with Natasha.

“But stay away from cameras,” Natasha warned.

You nodded and got up excitedly, moving towards your suitcase to grab a jacket. Natasha followed you, giving you a spare phone and places you could go for sightseeing. The usual warnings followed by a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

Turning around, you saw Wanda waiting for you with a sheepish smile on her face. Excitedly, you took her hand and led her out of the jet, using the spare phone to get directions to the nearest tourist sight.

————

The rest of the day was amazing. You’d led Wanda to all of the famous sights in Scotland. Your favorite had been Edinburgh Castle, everything about it was entrancing. Wanda’s favorite was the Glasgow Cathedral. The redhead said it reminded her of her home in Sokovia, so you stayed around it more than you needed to.

Thankfully, your mom had given you enough money to buy lunches for both of you. After another few hours, you sat by the riverside, watching the sunset with your girlfriend. Her head rested on your shoulder, one hand intertwined with yours.

Neither of you spoke, there was nothing either of you needed to talk about. The silence was comfortable and perfect.

You kissed the side of her head, sighing and continuing to watch the sunset. Wanda sensed your restlessness and chuckled.

“Just a few more minutes?” Wanda pleaded, you hummed and kissed her head again.

Diverting your attention from the sunset, you began to play with the countless different rings on Wanda’s fingers. You never understood why she wore so many rings. All you knew was that all of them had a different meaning to her.

One time, you’d asked her what they meant, she explained a few, but when she got to the rings that Pietro had given her, she started crying. Not wanting to upset her again, you decided not to ask.

But there was something different.

Instead of the usual black, silver, and red rings, there was a different ring. One of them was silver with a fav/color gemstone in the center.

“It’s for you,” Wanda murmured when she noticed you fixating on the different ring.

You smiled, lifting her hand to kiss the ring and resting it back in your lap. The action was small, almost insignificant. But to you, it meant the world.

Vaguely, you remembered her explaining the rings on her fingers were for people she loves. There were a few for her parents, a few for Pietro. A couple even represented her life as an Avenger. But this was the first time she had a ring for you.

It meant the world to you.

The rays of the drowning sun eventually faded into black. You made your way back to the jet. Your mom and Steve were waiting for you. None of them were surprised you spent the entire day sightseeing, but they had expected you back sooner.

“Sunset watching?” Natasha asked, knowing you too well. You laughed and nodded, sitting down on the side of the jet with Wanda.

Steve called both of you over and said he found a few apartments away from the city to stay in for a few months. The rest of the team was going to stay there. They had given you and Wanda your shared room since they could only get five rooms there. Everyone else had their own room.

After taking taxis to the apartments, Sam ordered pizza. You ate dinner in your new room, surrounded by what remained of your family. It was better than the past few days, but you missed Tony and Rhodey’s sarcastic comments, Clint’s jokes and stories about his family.

You missed them. So much.

It hurt to know you couldn’t go back.

Sam tried to lighten the mood with bad jokes. It worked for a while. But eventually, you got bored and switched on the TV.

The first thing it played was the news, which Natasha quickly changed to a movie channel. Harry Potter was playing. You watched Order of the Phoenix. By the time the next movie started, everyone was exhausted. They retired to their respective rooms after wishing you and Wanda goodnight.

“I’m beat,” You stated, flopping down on the queen-sized bed. Wanda laughed, switched off the TV, and joined you the bed.

The witch lay facing you on her side, curling into herself, her feet touching yours. You turned around, resting your hand on her waist, staring into her blue-green eyes. Letting yourself get lost in her eyes for a few seconds before pulling up the blanket.

Exhausted and tired, you still couldn’t sleep.

Too many thoughts running loose inside your head.

Too many possibilities of what could go wrong.

A hand rested on your neck, thumb stroking your cheekbone to draw you out of your thoughts. Wanda looked at you in concern. Your face was twisted with pain and hurt. You sighed, leaning into her touch.

Wanda didn’t push you to talk. It gave you time to collect your thoughts. You hadn’t wanted things to change, but Wanda already knew that.

“What do you think is going to happen?” You asked, voice a low whisper.

The witch could sense the fear in your tone. She wanted to comfort you, tell you that everything is going to be okay. The truth was, she didn’t know what was going to happen. Wanda could never lie to you.

“I don’t know,” Wanda answered truthfully. You sighed and opted to try to sleep when Wanda spoke again.

“What do you want to happen?”

Licking your lips nervously, you let yourself daydream. The vision of a perfect future floated through your mind. You closed your eyes, smiling dreamily at the image in your head. Describing the dream wouldn’t be good enough, so you lifted your girlfriend’s hand to your forehead, giving her permission to enter your mind.

Red wisps of magic entered your mind as you solidified your hopes for the future.

It was simple, a small house by the lake. A miniature beach in front of it, a boardwalk extending into the sea.

You were sitting there, the cold water lapping at your feet as the sun began to set. Wanda was next to you, her hand holding yours. Natasha was also there, watching the sunset while sitting on the hood of her car, watching over you like she always did.

It was peaceful. Everything felt just right.

The vision stopped. Wanda opened her eyes to see you looking at her with a soft smile. Both of you had matching smiles on your faces.

“Anything else?” Wanda asked playfully. You shrugged, humming thoughtfully.

“It’s up to you,” You answered with a smile.

“I want to be happy with you. Whatever makes you happy, I want that too,”

Wanda smiled, her heart melting at your sweet confession. She leaned in for a soft kiss, intertwining her body with yours.

Your vision of a future filled her head, keeping her awake.

Wanda hadn’t ever thought about what she wanted in the future. The fear of not deserving a happy life with someone she loved had stopped her from dreaming.

But your dream was perfect.

It was something she wanted, a happy life with someone she loved, and maybe, just maybe, Wanda could have it.

| Part 13 |

A/N: I’m thinking of continuing this series all the way through Infinity War and Endgame and I have a whole plan, lemme know if that seems like a good idea (and if you liked this fic ofc!)

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart , @never-didbefore , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @wlw-imaginesss , @username23345 , @ohfuckno , @hcartbyheart , @summergeezburr , @imnotasuperhero , @redknight9 , @izalesbean , @anni323 let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

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smilebouquet · 3 years

Text

somewhere to go, someone to love

my secret santa gift (@ducktalessecretsanta2020) for @kvanderquack!! i’m sorry for tagging again after i already sent my gift via dm-

also on ao3!!

––––––––––

For as long as Lena lived (all fifteen years), she’d always been alone. She was born alone on the heights of Mount Vesuvius, from the remnants of her Aunt Magica’s shadow. She travelled to Duckburg alone, with no one to keep her company other than the voices in her head and the harsh whispering of her shadow. She bore the brunt of Magica’s lashings and whining alone, hurt and angry and bitter.

A happy family felt like such a foreign concept to her. Magica was always her one and only kin, the only person who had a connection to her. And she hated every second of it. If having just one aunt was so exhausting, imagine having two aunts. Imagine three. Criticizing your every move. Yelling at you for screwing up. Demanding nothing but obedience and respect and returning none of it.

Lena didn’t think she would be able to take it. Family just didn’t sound like something she’d like.

That’s what she thought, anyway, until the Sabrewings took her in.

––––––––––

Lena can’t sleep.

Or to be exact, she can’t sleep peacefully. Ever since she came back to the land of the living, she’s been having dreams. Dreams where she found herself running from her. Into the woods, where the screeching of bats rang in the air, and the ground was muddy and made each consecutive step heavy. Or within a mansion suspiciously similar to Scrooge’s, her voice bouncing off the walls and getting closer and closer until they were literally screaming into her ears. She could do nothing but run.

She never dared to look back, but Lena always managed to glimpse her in the corner of her eye. The swish of a velvety black cape. A gloved hand, reaching out to snatch her. A flash of purple magic.

Lena always manages to wake up before Magica could grab her and do god-knows-what. She would always be grateful for the fact that she awoke easily. But every dream ended in To Be Continued — never The End — and Lena didn’t want to know what The End would look like, because she has the sinking feeling that it won’t be a Happily Ever After.

Tonight is no different. She’s staring up at the ceiling of Violet’s room, letting the muffled snores of her roommate fill the still air. It’s getting increasingly hard to stay awake, and she isn’t sure how much longer she can take it.

Sighing, she rolls out of bed and leaves the room, making sure the door creaked as quietly as possible and that it clicked shut. She heads down the stairs and into the living room. A bookshelf stands in the corner, filled with all sorts of books from encyclopedias to photography books.

Lena instinctively grabs a cookbook (and accidentally knocks off a few more, but she’ll deal with them later) from the second topmost shelf. Yellow sticky notes jut out of the pages, all written on with dark purple ink. Walking into the kitchen adjacent, she flicks on the light, then flips the book open. Vanilla Cake, reads the title in big bold letters, followed by the exact quantity of ingredients needed and the instructions on how to bake one.

This should keep her up until tomorrow.

"...Lena? Shouldn't you be in bed?"

She freezes. Ty is standing at the door, a wooden baseball bat loosely held in his grip. He chucks it aside and steps into the kitchen.

"Hey." She waves half-heartedly with a sheepish smile. "I, uh, couldn't sleep."

"And you're in the kitchen with a cookbook, why?"

Because Aunt Magica haunts my dreams every night and I don’t wanna deal with it anymore?

“...I wanted to do something nice for my friends for once, so I thought baking a cake for our sleepover would be neat?”

Ty’s gaze flickers between Lena and the clock currently showing 12:59. He pinches the area between his eyes. “Lena, it’s late. I think you should go to bed—”

“No!” He flinches. Lena’s eyes widen. “I mean— no, I can’t go to bed until I finish this cake!” she backtracks, her voice cracking. Her heart is pounding. She can't go to sleep, she can't...! “If you help me, I’ll go to bed sooner! Maybe!”

Ty scratches the back of his head. “Well, Indy’s the dad who bakes, not me... but I suppose I can try.”

Relief washes over her. She flashes him a tired smile, handing him a bowl and some measuring cups. “Thanks.”

––––––––––

“We’re back!”

Indy looks up from the couch. “Welcome back. How was your sleepover?”

“Pleasant,” Violet replies, already halfway up the stairs. “Ate some cake. Played a video game. Saved Lena from getting dragged into a mirror and possibly losing her within a lucid dream to the witch responsible for the shadow war several months ago. The usual.”

“Sounds nice,” Indy remarks. Then did a double take. “Wait, what?”

Ty laughs, following after Violet. “It’s a long story. Took the whole car ride for them to finish telling it.” Indy glares after him, but shrugs and returns to his book.

Lena drops her own bag on the floor and flops onto the couch with a heavy sigh. She could shower or whatever later. Right now she just wanted to rest.

“Long day?” Indy asks, barely moving from his position on the right side of the couch.

“Kinda. I’ve been through worse, though.”

There's a beat of silence.

The unspoken Like what? hangs over her head uncomfortably. Is this the part where she spills her entire life story? Should she play it off as a joke? Would it be wise to pretend she hadn’t said anything? She can feel Indy’s stare on her shoulder, burning like a pair of red-hot lasers—

He either noticed her discomfort, or is really good at reading minds, because he hums quietly and says, “You don’t have to elaborate.”

“...Ah. Right. Okay.” She sits upright, then lets out a short laugh. Her eyes wander over to Indy, who’s still reading his book with a content look on his face. “What is that?”

Indy shows her the book. There’s a bunch of pictures of Violet, Ty and Indy together. “It’s one of the family photo albums,” he explains. “Photography is one of my hobbies.”

Lena grunts in response, then peers at the photos more closely. “Is that Violet in the library?”

“Oh, that’s from the first time we visited the public library together. We had just moved into Duckburg, and wanted to do a little sightseeing. Violet insisted that we check out the library. That girl always did love reading. She gets it from Ty…”

They spend the rest of the hour looking through the photo album together. There’s a surprising amount of photos in this one tiny album, each preserving a special memory that Indy knows by heart and tells Lena about with nothing but fondness. She now knows that Violet used to take ballet classes (and hated it), has won at least two national spelling bees by the age of six, and is part of the Junior Woodchucks.

Photos from before Violet was born are also in it, located near the end of the album. Indy tells Lena that he first met Ty at a college entrance exam. They had entered the building at the same time, and Ty thought it would be neat to strike a conversation with him. They hit it off pretty much immediately, but forgot to ask for each other’s phone numbers before they went their separate ways.

“But you’re married now?!” Lena blurts out, jumping from the cough to point a shaky finger at him. “How?!”

He chuckles. “We met again at a supermarket several months later, I believe, reaching for the same can of beans. Ty’s first words to me ever since were ‘Holy shit, you like beans, too?!’ This time we remembered to exchange contact information, and here we are ten years later.”

“I— Wow.” Lena sits back down. “Some luck you have.”

“I wouldn’t call it luck,” he admits. His fingers gently caressing the old photo of them. “I like to think of it as fate. If we’re meant to be together, life will find a way to get us together.”

(Lena thinks about Webby.

She thinks about their “chance” meeting at the amphitheater.

She thinks about how she almost lost Webby by sacrificing herself to protect her.

She thinks about how lucky she had been that Violet was there in the library that day, reading a nerdy old book.

She inwardly decides that Indy is probably right.)

Once they reach the end of the album, Indy moves to close it. The corners of several photographs stick out from the side. Lena blinks.

“And those are?”

He looks down. “Oh.” Tucking them back in, he replies, “Those are some of the newer photographs. Haven’t gotten a new album for them yet, so I keep them here for the time being.” His fingers drum on the hard cover. “Come to think of it, I don't have any pictures with you yet. We’ll need to remedy that.”

“Hm, why?”

“You’re family, after all. I think you deserve a spot in the photo album.”

Family. She’s family. The thought of it makes her heart flutter.

It takes her a minute to realize Indy stopped talking, and is looking at her with the slightest hint of hesitation in his expression.

She beams at him. “That would be nice. You should get a new album first, though.” As if on cue, a photograph falls out. She picks up. “Hey, what about this one?” Indy lights up, and starts going into a tangent about the one time they lost Violet at Duckburg’s largest department store. As he does, she zones out for a bit, testing the name.

‘Lena Sabrewing’, huh… She can feel her smile widening. Sounds way cooler than Lena de Spell.

––––––––––

This is terrible, Lena concludes.

They’re on the way to the Junior Woodchuck Campgrounds for Violet’s upcoming graduation. She’s a little hazy on the details, but she does know that each year only one senior junior woodchuck can become a senior woodchuck (“That’s dumb! Why can’t you all just become senior woodchucks?!” “Don’t question it, Lena.”), they decide who graduates with some sort of obstacle course, and Violet’s opponent this year is likely going to be Huey.

Lena also knows that the campgrounds are located waaaay out on some island in the middle of nowhere, and if she sees another “NOW LEAVING DUCKBURG” sign she’s going to lose it. She lets out a groan as she slides farther down her seat, watching the pine trees blur into a strip of green on the landscape. “Hey, Vi, how much longer ‘til we’re there?”

No answer.

“Vi?”

Again, no answer. Lena knows that Violet has a tendency to be quiet during car rides, preferring to admire the scenery as they drive, but Violet should’ve at least spared her a grunt at this point.

She decides to turn and look at her. Violet is staring at her lap, perfectly still. Her fists are clenched so tightly she can see the white knuckles beneath her purple feathers, and they’re trembling.

“Vi, what’s wrong...?” Lena begins to ask, and then immediately Indy’s voice from before echoes in her head.

“Third time’s the charm, right Vi?”

The gears click into place. Oh.

She inches closer to Violet’s side — as much as she can with her seatbelt on, anyway — and reaches out to place a comforting hand over Violet’s. The hummingbird looks up.

“Hey,” Lena says, “you’ll be okay. You’re the best nerd I’ve ever know. What’s Huey got, his stupid guidebook? You’ve got this.”

“Actually, the Junior Woodchuck Wilderness Challenge prohibits use of the guidebook,” Violet corrects, then sighs. “Sorry. I know you’re trying to comfort me, but I…” She trails off. “I know failing is natural, but it still terrifies me every single time.”

Silence.

Indy, from the passenger seat, pipes up, “Violet, you know that just being willing to go back and try again is… really brave, right? Yeah, failure is inevitable, and very terrifying, but not a lot of people are able to bounce back from it like you do.”

“What Indy said.” Ty peers at them from the rearview mirror and gives them a thumbs up. “We love you no matter what, and I bet you’re gonna crush the competition this year.”

“Yeah! What they said! You’re Violet Sabrewing. You brought me back from the Shadow Realm. If you can do that, you can do anything!”

Violet stares at her for a moment, then Indy, then Ty. Her eyes are glassy. She opens her fist to hold Lena’s hand and squeezes it weakly.

“Thanks,” she whispers, with a smile that doesn’t exactly reach her eyes.

...At least she’s smiling a little. Lena frowns, but gets an idea. She leans forward to ask Ty, “By the way, how long until we get there?”

“Five hours, I think,” Indy answers.

“FIVE HOURS?!” She can feel a vein pop in her head. Five hours. Five. Hours. It feels like she’s been in this stinkin’ car for decades already. Well, no matter.

She turns to Violet. “Alright, since we’re basically stuck here, why don’t I teach you how to smacktalk?”

Violet raises an eyebrow, clearly unamused. “Is that really necessary? Also, I doubt Hubert would appreciate—”

“Of course it is! And of course he won’t. You can’t have a healthy rivalry without a little back and forth! Where’s the fun in that?! Now, the key to good smacktalk is...”

She spends the rest of the ride lecturing Violet on the essentials of smacktalk (read: making most of it up as she went). As they drove, Violet’s shoulders began to relax and she allowed herself to laugh more, and Lena felt more at ease than she had in a while.

––––––––––

Lena wakes up with a gasp. Frantically, she feels around. Her arms are intact. Her legs are still here. Nothing hurts. Phantom Blot isn’t here. Okay. It was just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.

“Lena?”

“Vi?” Lena calls, but it sounds more like a choked sob. She’s suddenly acutely aware of the tears messing up her feathers and her pounding heart.

Violet sits up. “Another nightmare?” she asks, her voice quiet. Lena nods. She gets up from bed and leaves the room. Lena sits in the darkness, her hands gripping her knees tightly. Breathe in, breathe out.

Violet returns with a tall glass of water and hands it to her. Lena takes it and brings the glass to her beak. The water is cool and soothing.

“They’ve become increasingly frequent. Shouldn’t we talk to our fathers about this?”

“No,” Lena says immediately, finishing her glass and setting it on the night table with shaky hands. “I don’t want them to get worried.”

Violet gives her a glare that pierces even in the dark, then sighs.

“Very well.”

✿ — ✿ — ✿

On Christmas Day, Lena wakes up to Violet dumping a bucket of cold water over her.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Ack—! Violet, what the hell?!”

“Apologies,” Violet says, her tone betraying her words. She’s already dressed in a plain cream turtleneck. “You wouldn’t wake up no matter what I did.” She tugs at her sleeve. “Now, come. Fathers are already in the living room. You were literally the last to awaken.” Without waiting for a response, she drags her out of the room and down the stairs.

The living room feels… warmer than usual. There are string lights, giving out a gentle multicoloured glow, both around the Christmas Tree and hung up along the walls. Someone took the time to hang a wreath on every door in the house, each covered in mini ornaments and topped with a red bow. The bright orange fire in the fireplace is crackling.

Ty and Indy are already waiting, wearing matching Christmas sweaters. “Merry Christmas!” they greet, pulling the two girls into a hug.

“Merry Christmas,” Lena says back before pulling away. The cheeriness of the season was beginning to catch up to her. “So! What do we do first?”

“Well, the presents are under the tree but maybe eat breakfast first—”

Lena was gone the moment Ty said ‘presents’. She rushes to the tree and begins checking the tags for her name. Not that there are that many presents to check. Violet follows soon after with a much calmer demeanor.

She ends up with a limited edition of The FeatherWeights’ newest album from Ty and Indy (“How did you know they’re my favourite band?!” “Your shirt is all we needed to clue us in.”) and an exact replica of the Caw-nverse shoes she loves wearing. Violet receives two books — an encyclopedia the thickness of one and a half dictionaries about magic and a thinner book called Tales of the Peculiar.

She’s ready to head off to the dining table to eat when Violet stops her.

“Wait.” She pulls out a neatly wrapped present from her pocket and holds it out to Lena. “Here.”

“Wh— But I didn’t get you anything!”

“It’s okay.” Violet shoves the present into her hands. “Just take it.” Lena peers at her suspiciously before tearing the wrapping paper clean off and opening the box.

A dreamcatcher. The hoop used is a nice beige, and a flower-like design had been woven within it with colourful threads. White feathers suspended from twine, with beads adorning the strands at intervals, are attached to the hoop. Lena dangles the dreamcatcher above the box and looks at Violet questioningly.

“It may not be as beneficial as actual therapy since I couldn’t infuse it with any magic, but it should help keep the bad dreams at bay,” Violet explains. “Probably. I made it myself so it might not work.”

Lena stares at the dreamcatcher again. Upon closer inspection, the feathers and beads appear to be glued to the twine, and the twine was wound imperfectly around the base of the hoop. The flower design is also uneven, having slightly larger ‘petals’ on one side. She feels herself tear up. “Violet. This is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me.”

“I can’t believe saving you from roaming in the shadow realm for all of eternity isn’t the sweetest thing I've ever done for you,” Violet replies, completely deadpan. But the corners of her beak are twitching upwards.

“You wanted to summon evil spirits! I was a byproduct. It doesn’t count,” Lena jokes, putting the dreamcatcher away. She envelopes her in a crushing hug. “Thank you.” Her voice is wobbling. “This is just— It must’ve taken ages. Now I feel even worse for not getting you anything.”

Violet hugs her back just as tightly. “You’re welcome. Just make sure you get me my own personal library next year.”

As if your room isn’t filled with enough books as is, Lena thinks, but she can’t help but laugh.

Ty clears his throat. “This is great, but it’s already nine and you girls haven’t even had breakfast yet, so chop chop! We’ve got a whole day ahead of us.”

(They end up at the ice rink, where Lena learns that she’s actually terrible at ice skating. Violet offers to teach her like the Samaritan she is, but doesn’t hesitate to throw jabs at her incompetence. Fortunately, she’s not the only one who’s suffering, if Indy’s screaming and Ty’s guffawing are any indications.)

––––––––––

In the first fifteen years of her life, Lena had been alone with no one to turn to. Being part of a happy family felt like something out of a movie or fairy tale. Happiness seemed like an unreachable dream.

But within two years, she found a best friend in Webby, a sister in Violet, and two dads in Ty and Indy. She found a family to call her own, one that loved her and made her feel good about herself. She was finally content.

The dreamcatcher and family photo hanging above her bed would need to be pried from her cold, dead hands.

#ducktales #ducktales secret santa 2020 #lena sabrewing #violet sabrewing #ty sabrewing #indy sabrewing #nayo makes her own food

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

Text

BTS Reaction || Mornings Together

Seokjin:

It was the first night Jin had spent back with you, you’d stayed up pretty late the night before because you’d missed him so much, but you both ended up falling asleep in one another’s arms like you always did when he came home.

He woke up the next morning earlier than you and smiled as you clung to his chest in your sleep, you’d fallen asleep listening to his heartbeat as he talked softly about the time he’d spent away from you, sparing no detail on everything he’d done, you loved to listen to him speak. Jin managed to sneak out of your grasp to go and make breakfast, he did this whenever he could but most mornings you would spend laid in bed together talking about anything and everything you could manage to talk about. Jin walked through the bedroom door carrying a tray and saw you laying in the same position he’d left you in and chuckled silently putting the tray down on the desk in your bedroom and coming to wake you up, he sat down next to you, tucking a hair behind your ear and smiling as you stirred, squeezing your eyes tightly as you started to wake up, he leaned down and pressed a small kiss on your forehead, you groaned rolling over and trying to pull the sheets over your head but he started attacking you with kisses wanting you to wake up and eat what he’d made you.

“I made breakfast.” He whispered tickling your sides, you began laughing and rolled over to face him again, now fully awake since he’d tickled you.

“I hate you.” You lied sitting up in the bed and leaning back against the headboard and looking at him.

“Love you too.” He said getting up and bringing the tray over to the bed, he’d gone all out on the breakfast for you both to eat, making your favourites.

Yoongi:

You’d gone to the studio to see Yoongi, you were wondering when he would come home since it was already 3 am and he wasn’t answering his messages so you knew he was working hard but you were worried like any other girlfriend would be. You grabbed your coat and some food for him before heading towards the studio, you stopped outside his door not wanting to interrupt him doing anything important when you couldn’t hear him you knocked on the door. No answer. You knocked again, nothing. You entered the pin to his door and walked in to find him asleep on the leather sofa, you sighed putting down the food you brought him and went to wake him up, but he grumbled pulling you down onto the sofa next to him which was hard since it was only a small sofa.

“Baby we should go home to sleep.” You whispered leaning into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you tightly and keeping his eyes shut firmly, you gave him calming down at the sound of his heart beating.

The next morning you heard someone knocking and you groaned against Yoongi’s chest wanting whoever it was to leave you alone, Yoongi grumbled something to whoever was banging but it continued until the door swung open revealing Hoseok standing there with a bag of food and some coffee’s. you stared at him and then at Yoongi who was still half asleep next to you.

“When did you come over?” He questioned setting everything he’d gotten Yoongi down on the coffee table and going back to the door to leave.

“About 3:30 last night, he didn’t come home.” You yawned sitting up and going over to the desk to grab the water that was sitting there, Yoongi sat up on the sofa grabbing the coffee Hoseok had brought him and sipped on it looking at you, he hadn’t stopped looking at you, the door to the studio shut and you sat on the floor, trying to wake up a little.

“You really came here at 3:30?” You stared at him with a smile on your lips, he couldn’t remember pulling you into his arms.

“Yeah, I tried to get you to come home but you were having none of it. Pulled me into your arms.” You said laughing at the end, he chuckled showing off his gummy smile which only made you smile more.

Hoseok:

It was payback time for you, Hoseok had woken you up super early the week before and now it was time for your revenge. You made sure to set an alarm on your phone to go off at 5 am so only you would hear it going off and set to work on your plan. You carefully got out of his arms and headed out of the shared bedroom and towards the bathroom where the Bluetooth speaker was waiting for you, you connected your phone to it, turning it down and putting on Chicken Noodle soup. You silently made your way back into the bedroom, putting the speaker on the desk and going over to the curtains, ripping them open so the sunlight would gradually wake him up, when he groaned you turned up the speaker starting to dance right next to the bed and shouting out the lyrics along with the song, Hoseok threw a pillow in your direction but you continued to dance through it and sing along, he sat up watching you with a smirk on his lips.

“You’re doing it wrong.” Was all he said while he watched you, you continued to do it wrong on purpose knowing it would bug him too much.

“Show me how then.” You said restarting the song once again and laughing as he swung his legs out of bed and coming over towards you, instead of showing you how to do the dance he picked you up pulling you back towards the bed pinning you down and taking the phone away from you, turning it off and laying down beside you, your head sitting on top of his chest as he laughed along with you.

“I win.” You whispered placing a small kiss on his chest and looking up at him as he laughed shaking his head.

“Oh no, you haven’t won anything. You’ve started a war.” You stared up at him, eyes wide with fear. He knew all of your weaknesses and he knew how to strike you the way no one else could, you tried to sit up and get away from him but he wrapped his arms tightly around your body making sure you couldn’t move away from him.

“Just remember you started this.” He whispered in your ear, you groaned laying your head against him once again.

“I’ll never do anything like this again…I promise.” You begged only causing him to laugh more.

Namjoon:

You’d fallen asleep on facetime with Namjoon the night before, you were both in different time zones so you’d taken to calling him before you went to bed and then falling asleep while he worked or did whatever it was he was doing. You were sleeping soundly and Namjoon noticed, he looked over at his phone which was sitting on his desk as he was writing lyrics, putting down his pen he watched you as your chest slowly rise and fell while you slept, chuckling as he noticed you were in one of his shirts you’d stolen before he went away again. You turned over in your sleep and he chuckled once again, going to take a glass of water to sip from but it slipped from the desk, smashing against his hardwood floor, you shot up in bed clutching your chest and looking around your room before staring at your phone to see a guilty looking Namjoon looking at you, you laid back down groaning as your head hit the pillow.

“Its 5 am.” You whispered sitting up in the bed and leaning him against the bedside table lamp and smiling at him, he was cleaning up what he’d knocked over.

“Be careful, don’t need you cutting yourself on the glass.” You mentioned yawning a little before scraping back your bed hair and then grabbing your glass of water and sipping on it.

“I won’t,” He mumbled coming back into view and smiling at you, you smiled back and pulled your knees into your chest.

“You working hard?” You questioned laying your head down on your knees as you watched him, he nodded staring at you and not down at his work.

“Got a new song written while you were out cold, going to dinner with the boys soon.” He mentioned looking at the clock behind his desk, you nodded along and smiled.

“You should go back to sleep.” He said looking at the time again, it was 2 pm for him.

“I’m fine, I want to spend time with you. How’s your day been?” You questioned getting comfortable on the bed and looking at him as he went into detail about what he had done that day.

Jimin:

You’d gone to visit him in Korea so you were staying over in the dorms, he knew you were nervous since it was the first time you’d be meeting all the boys in person but you did well, staying calm the whole night and having a nice dinner with them before going back to the dorms and going your separate rooms, you and Jimin laid on the bed looking up at the ceiling and talking about everything you wanted to do while you were visiting him, he was convinced that he was going to take you sightseeing, and do all of these other wonderful things together but you told him you wanted to just spend time with him, even if it meant staying inside the dorms or going to the studio, you just wanted to be near him. You ended up falling asleep to him playing with your hair and telling you a story about him and Jungkook from a few weeks before, you hummed in response and he knew you were almost asleep, you could never fully form words when you were almost asleep, he wrapped a blanket around the both of you and curled up next to you as you both slept soundly.

The next morning he woke up before you, your arm around his chest as you cuddled against his side, he smiled wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to him, you stirred a little, letting a string of mumbles leave your lips.

“You waking up?” He whispered not knowing if you were fully asleep or in the stages of waking up when he heard no response from you he began to play with your hair and started singing softly, the words of your favourite song leaving his perfect lips, your eyes squeezed shut a little, before opening and resting on his face, he hadn’t noticed you waking up too busy in his own world as he sang to you. You smiled as you watched his facial features, he looked beautiful even though he’d just woken up, you closed your eyes taking a deep breath and getting comfy in his arms again, singing along softly with him, it shocked him at first but he chuckled between lyrics and continued with you,

“Morning.” He whispered bending down and putting a kiss on the top of your head, you sat up in the bed with him, laying your head down on his shoulder.

“What’s the plan for today then Jimin?” You yawned looking at him through your lashes.

“Staying in bed as long as we can.” He smiled back at you.

“I want to get as many cuddles as I can.” He added on.

Taehyung:

It was the first time he was spending time with you in your home, you’d always gone to him but this time he wanted to come to you since it was their break anyway, seeing as though it was the first night you put movies on the television in your bedroom and made snacks for you both to have while watching the movies. You were dressed in one of his baggy shirts and he was in his sweats and top, the night started with Disney movies and slowly moved to whatever you could find on Netflix, not that either of you were watching it, too busy paying attention to one another to even watch the movie, he would play with your hair while you sang along to a song or you would stare up at him as he spoke about something that happened on his flight over. You both ended up falling asleep while Shrek 2 played in the background, him spooning you holding you as close as he possibly could for the first time in a while.

You slipped out of the bed the next morning earlier than him, smiling as he snuggled into the sheets, you turned off the TV and headed out of the bedroom and down the stairs to your kitchen to make him some breakfast not changing out of his shirt since you lived alone and no one else was around to see you dressed like you were in the love of your lifes shirt, you started with pancakes, turning on the hob and making the batter and pouring some onto the pan. You grabbed some milk from the fridge to make yourself a cup of tea with a then put it back, grabbing the bacon from the top shelf and heading over to a second pan to start cooking, you were too in your element to noticed Tae had come down the stairs in his sweatpants and shirt, he was watching you sway your hips to a song you were humming to, he stayed silent not wanting to interrupt you. It was until you turned around to grab a plate from the cupboard that you noticed him standing there, jumping and dropping the spatula you had been using before.

“TAE!” You screamed bending down to pick it up and put it into the sink, he stood behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin into your neck.

“I couldn’t sleep without you.” He mumbled in his morning voice, you giggled leaning your head back against his chest and putting your hands over his arms not wanting to moment to ever end.

Jungkook:

“JK we have to be up early.” You grumbled as you tried to pull him away from the console, he told you he was coming off ages ago and yet there he was, still sitting there playing another match.

“I’m coming.” You sat down beside him, watching as he played this match only to enter another one, then another and another after that.

“Jungkook.” You whined laying your head down on his lap and looking at the time, it was now 1 am and you were supposed to be getting up at six to get ready for a flight.

“I know babe, just one more.” He insisted starting yet another match after the one he had just finished.

Your alarm woke you up the next morning, going off in your ear from the bedside table, you couldn’t even remember going to bed, you shut the alarm off and turned over to see Jungkook asleep next to you, you sighed knowing how hard he was to get up anyway, you slid yourself out of the bed going over to the window and opening the curtains, knowing the sunlight would do at least some of the work for you.

“Jk…get up.” You whispered in his ear, kissing him on the head before heading into the bathroom and doing your usual morning routine, coming back into the bedroom afterwards to find him still asleep on the bed.

“Jungkook.” You said a little louder this time, patting his shoulder and grabbing his suitcase, putting it on the end of the bed and opening it, he was packed which was good, no rushing around except for him to pack his bathroom items.

“Jk if you get up I’ll give you kisses.” You said going to your suitcase and putting in on the bed as well, opening it and checking you had everything you needed for the trip to Korea.

“Jungkook.” You warned sternly, he moved in his sleep rolling over to face you, you knew you were getting somewhere now, you walked over to his side of the bed and shook him a little, he rolled onto his back.

“I swear to god.” You mumbled sitting on his lap and waiting for him to wake up, you poked his chest annoyingly hoping he would budge but he stayed asleep.

“Jungkookie.” You whispered bending down towards his ear and kissing his jawline as you whispered to him, he began to stir a little more and you smirked knowing he was waking up now.

“Morning sunshine.” You greeted sitting up and looking at him, his hands finding their way to your waist and smiling at you.

“Come on, we have a plane to catch,” You said trying to get off him but he grabbed you tightly pinning you down under him and kissing you on the lips.

“I want kisses first.” He mumbled against your lips, you groaned and trying to get away from his gross morning breath.

“Brush your teeth!” You yelled slipping out from under him and running into the bathroom.

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lys-lilac · 3 years

Text

The Realization of Importance

Part (3/3)

Let’s end it.

A/N: This is to say that all the characters and the main story line belong to Voltage Inc. Only the fictional story is a work of mine, as well the fictional characters, Hana, Touma and Akari. Also this story is based on dream event, because I had this as a dream many days ago. It might be a little different from the usual genre, a little more angsty, so this little girl wants to know your honest opinions about the work. Be honest and do let me know what you think. But, if it feels a little bit dreamy or weird, you can discontinue reading from here.

Part 1 II Part 2

Part 3/3

Hana: ?!

Standing behind me was none other the man I loved the most, Kasumi. But, why is he here? His face is looking as cool as a cucumber. And, is he smiling? I hurriedly get up from my seat.

Hana: Kas- Err, I mean Chief Kasumi! What are you doing here?

Kasumi: Listening to your conversation.

Hana: ...I- Well, I am not MC.

Turning my head where I put the hairpin to his side, I show him my ‘recognition symbol’ or whatever.

Hana: I am Hana, the new resident.

Kasumi: I know that.

Hana: ?

Why? Just as I am trying to focus on my work, why does he drop such lines? What work has he with me? I rack my brains for a possibility.

Hana: Oh, are you here to talk with Touma?

Tucking on my white coat and holding me like a scared child, Touma slowly ducks his head to the side. I knew that Kasumi loved children, like he played pictionary with Sora that time. So I decide to give it a try.

Hana: Touma, he is the head of EICU, Dr. Kasumi. You can talk to him. He really is good person. Oh yeah, we might play pictionary together!

Kasumi: ...

Probably not expecting the response, Kasumi’s eyes go wide. Did I say something wrong? Wait, don’t say me... This event has already happened here already. If that’s the case, I might be in knee deep water right now.

Hana: I thought that Touma might like to draw, since he is good at gardening and sightseeing, so I asked. That’s it.

Kasumi: Touma, I know you can do it. And as she said, we can play pictionary anytime you want. But, I have a request to make.

Touma: What is it?

Kasumi: Can I accompany you to the visit to your garden?

Hana: What?!

Okay. I seriously need to check my mental health now. Am I really in my senses? What in the world did I hear just now?

Hana: But, we shouldn’t trouble you. After all, your schedules might be packed. And what about Dr. MC?

Kasumi: She has a lot of study to do. Besides, I want to see how this resident handles the case.

So it was just as a mentor... I see. Although I would have felt pangs in my heart at this time, I feel relieved, although I don’t know why.

Touma: I would be happy to!

After finishing our drinks, I drop Touma to his bed, and go towards the CSD (Cardiovascular Surgery Department). But, Dr. Kasumi is following me. I was sure that was not the case at first, as both CSD and EICU were in the same direction. But, instead of turning to the opposite side in the fork, he turns in my direction. WHAT IS GOING ON?! Oh god, stop, my heart...

Hana: Dr. Kasumi, I need to ask something. Do you have any work at the CSD? I can help you out with the menial tasks, if you ask.

Kasumi: ...

The silent intimidation! His dark prince cape never slides from him!

Kasumi: I need you to meet me in the outside in the evening. I have something to discuss with you.

...aand, there he goes, not listening to me. And, why the heck is he calling me to join him in the evening? The more I try to clear out my mind, the more it becomes tangled with his words. Guess I have no choice left. Maybe it’s something related to Touma?

Hana: ...Alright.

[Evening: Seimei Medical University Porch]

As I am sitting on the bench after completing the post OP rounds of some patients, a chilled can of coffee hits my cheek.

Kasumi: Here.

Holding two cans of coffee in his hands, he gives me one, and takes a seat beside me. Surprisingly, it’s my favorite flavor, mocha.

Hana: So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?

Kasumi: ...

Gazing at the children playing at a distance, he remains silent.

Hana: Dr. Kasumi, I am not a psychic that I can read your mind by telepathy. You have got to say something.

This time also, the response is nothing. Giving up, I look up at the sky, which is painted with a hue of orange and yellow. Gradually, the Sun sets, leaving a pinkish violet band spread in the horizon.

Hana: Look, Dr. Kasumi, the Belt of Venus! Now, you have to say the reas-

What leaves my mouth leaves me surprised. Clasping my mouth with my hand in order to shut it, I slowly move my fingers around the coffee can.

Kasumi: MC.

Hana: Dr. MC? What happened to her? Is she busy today?

Kasumi: You are MC, right? And that name ‘Hana’ is just a false one. Am I wrong?

Hana: You are getting it all wrong, Dr. Kasumi. Look at this hairpin, I am the new resident, not MC...

Kasumi: And what if I say that the hairpin you are wearing is the one you bought when you went to the zoo with me?

I can’t even dare to say a word. What exactly am I supposed to say? That “I am MC, I don’t know what’s going on here” ? I try to push another excuse.

Hana: This hairpin is common here! I think that Dr. MC may also have one at her home. Look, Dr. Kasumi, you might need some rest as you may be overexerting yourself. I will go and inform Dr. Kyogoku, okay?

As I get up from the bench, a sudden grab of my arm makes me stop.

Hana: ?

Kasumi: At least let me justify why I think of you as the MC.

Why those pure eyes? Was his pull not enough? Those eyes are my weakness, and I can’t resist his words.

Hana: Ok, I will listen to you.

Kasumi: Until yesterday, I was unsure myself that which one of you was my MC. The way you said that you are a new resident, all of us had no choice but to believe it as the truth. But when I saw you talking with Touma, that made me clear of your identity. Because my MC is a little childish, likes to get acquainted with patients, and...

Hana: and?

Kasumi: No wonder where you are, I can always recognize you.

His fingers intertwine with mine, and as I am about to reply, Kyogoku comes from the building.

Kyogoku: Kasumi, we have got hold of her true identity.

Without any delay and without loosening his hand, he drags me with him, and we all leave for the EICU. My mind which had turned to mess after all the things he said, was not working at all, so I stay silent to know the truth.

[Evening: Seimei University EICU]

There was she, Dr. MC. All the other doctors were also there. But, why were people from Metro Police Department standing there? And that to, handcuffing her? What the heck was going on while I was outside? Just as I was thinking, a police speaks up.

Police 1: Finally, this miscreant got caught.

Police 2: We are sorry for all the trouble she caused. We will make sure she gets the ‘reward’ for what she had done.

Police 3: Thank you for the help doctors! No wonder you all are jewels! Now, give us the permission to leave.

What the WHAT?! No one was in shock as me. She, A MISCREANT? So, inso and dreaming were not the reason?

Hosho: I am glad to see our MC back!

Takado: Oh, and how foolish of us to think that the silent impostor was this idiot. Never in life.

Ekuni: She didn’t even falter when we threw jokes on her.

Matsunaga: And here I thought, we are going to get two talented doctors... Although I am happy that you are the only precious girl of the EICU.

Kyogoku: Butthead, now you know who you are right?

{A/N: Now, Hana is the actual MC, so no need to use the fake name, otherwise who knows what will Kasumi think of me... ^^;)

MC: God, can anyone please explain what is going on... I might just pass out from the overdose of information.

Kyogoku: Apparently, she was a die-hard fan of Kasumi, or whatever it may be, and was super jealous of you. So she arranged all of this. Went through a plastic surgery to look exactly like you, changed your documents by adding a false name, just to take your place.

MC: Then, how you all figured it out?

Hosho: It was Kasumi who first told us that something was weird.

Takado: That how the office, which is a place of damn banters, was as silent as the sea. Although it was peaceful, it felt wrong.

Ekuni: She didn’t know her own schedule of scrub ins, and didn’t lash us out.

Matsunaga: And most importantly, I was not satisfied her response when I asked her to join me during breaks.

Kasumi: We all are aware of your behavior and your nature, so it was not long till we figured it out.

Kasumi: MC?

Ha... haha, my life. I will not hesitate to say that it is more intense than what happens in mangas. One can do this much only for jealousy?

MC: Thank god, thank god you all remember me. Here I thought I was in a parallel world and no one recognised me.

The doctors could sometimes lead me to release smoke from my ears out of fury, but nonetheless, they cared for me, and that’s what of value to me the most.

[Some days later: Touma’s garden]

{A/N: Again, a random picture}

Touma’s surgery is a success. On the day of the surgery, Kasumi volunteered to accompany me in it, as his schedule was open for the morning. The good thing is that he can still walk and talk, although now in wheelchair for some days of recovery. Me and Kasumi, to fulfill our promise to Touma, were leaded to Touma’s garden on the day we paid a home visit to him.

Can I say that the place is paradise? Tulips, lilies, hydrangeas, pansies, daffodils and all the varieties are lined in rows. Adjoining to it is the fruit garden, and beside it is the vegetable one. Huh, did I even know how to plant a sapling when I was of his age? Answer: no.

As I was appreciating the beauty sitting on the cool grass, a small flower is tucked into my hair. It is a Syringa Vulgaris. In other words, a small lilac.

Touma: This looks pretty on you.

MC: Oh, thank you Touma.

But, just after that, a flower crown is placed on my head.

Kasumi: And I think this looks even prettier.

MC: ...

My cheeks flare up crimson. Aww, just how cute are these two, adoring me like that! I can just float in the sky out of happiness,

MC: Thank you.

MC: Oh, but I wanted to ask something.

Kasumi: Sure.

MC: If you realized that I was the original piece, then why didn’t you recognize me in the office?

Kasumi: That’s because the other you submitted your reports just before you came. Did you notice that when you were about to submit the papers in your hand, it was not the original but only blank papers?

MC: ...No! Now that I think about it, I was so heartbroken at that time, that I didn’t even glance at it. And probably, she might have done it when I was in post OP rounds, and my documents were all laying on the table. Ah, the headache I felt there might be due to her making me unconscious using chloroform, because I found myself in the closet. God! And here I was thinking that I fainted due to overwork!! That chick, grrr...

Kasumi: Pfft, as expected.

MC: Don’t laugh at me! Well, how did you find the clue then? Even I was confused of my own identity. Didn’t your thoughts waver?

Kasumi: I got the first hint by the hairpin you had. I was pretty sure that it was the same one that you bought when we went to the zoo, and that you always kept it in your bag. But when I asked the other you about this, she just made excuses that she had left it at home. Further, you mentioned about Sora and also exclaimed when the Belt of Venus appeared, so my confirmation was strengthened.

MC: A prodigy you are, aren’t you?

Kasumi: No.

MC: Huh?

Kasumi: No matter which different identity you own, or wherever you may be, I can always recognize you, because you are the most important person to me in my life.

Seeing my blank face, he chuckles and a soft touch lands on my lips, like a feather fluttering on my skin.

MC: The same goes for me too. I can always recognize you anywhere, because you are the one I love the most.

As I see the dandelions dancing in the wind, the flowers, fruits and vegetables bathed with sunlight, and the smile of Kasumi, which I yearn the most, I realize something. That I am important to him and so is Kasumi to me. No matter whatever may come, I will always stay by his side, and support him with all my heart.

END.

{Author’s trivia: I actually woke up just after the scene where Kasumi realizes that she is his MC. So, I just added the after plot, to complete it.}

That’s it! I am telling you, I was myself feeling butterflies when writing the end part. So I am sure, the story will appeal you just like it appealed to me. Pure nature of Kasumi, dipped in honey felt words. But gahh, it felt so dramatic, the police and all... Let me know what you think. If any requests, feel free to drop it in the suggestion bowl. Have a good day ahead, and give your best everyday, just like our dark prince!

~Lys

#romance md #romance md: always on call #rmd #toshiki kasumi #kasumi toshiki #sentaro kyogoku #munechika takado #tetsuya hosho #kaede ekuni #eiichi matsunaga #voltage inc #love 365 #100恋+#100シーンの恋+#hana #touma #akari #fictional work #lys's writings

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starbornvalkyrie · 4 years

Text

what we could be | part three

catch up here.

trigger warnings: depictions of anxiety, panic attacks

“Hellooo?” The sultry female voice repeated.

At least Aelin is sure she doesn’t need to get her ears checked--it was definitely a woman who answered. She pulled the phone from her ear to double check the name she dialed. Indeed, Rowan, bird emoji, in bold white letters stares back at her.

In the background, Aelin heard the rustle of sheets. A mumbled male voice.

Aelin immediately hung up and threw her phone to the other side of her bed. She pulled her knees to chest, tucked her head between them, and forced herself to breathe in and out. In and out. In. Out.

The pounding in her ears threatened to pull her into the oblivion she always tries so hard to avoid. Aelin’s anxiety started showing face after her parents died, only to worsen after her Uncle Gavriel. Her first night in Arobynn’s foster care was also the first time she had a panic attack.

For Aelin, they come in the form of water. She starts in a room, which is more like a glorified box. The walls are either made of glass or a clear plastic, she can never get close enough to tell, and although there is no ceiling, the walls run farther and higher than her eyes can see. Her room-box is on a beach somewhere with wet sand at her feet. In the beginning, she tried to dig her way out, only to give up when each handful of sand was replaced by twice that. Until the sand was up to her knees, trapping her. It’s always night time, the sky starless. The only light is provided by the sliver of a waning moon over the horizon.

Then the tide begins to rise. There are no waves yet, just a gradual increase in water. It reaches her feet first, naturally, and by the time the water reaches the opposite wall of her room-box, it’s at her knees. Then the water bounces off the wall, creating ripples in the water that threaten to throw her off-balance.

The force of the waves intensifies as the water reaches her waist. And then she’s tumbling. The first few times, she can still reach the bottom to push herself to the surface. She’s been through this so much, she knows that after her third push she needs to try and take the deepest breath she can manage before she’s pulled under for good.

That happens next. She’s unsure which way is up or down, right or left. She tries to swim in whichever direction feels right, but the water is endless and she’s no longer in the room-box. She’s in the depths of the ocean, too far below to where there is no current to guide her, only nothing.

All too soon, she runs out of breath, but she would rather suffocate herself than inhale water. Either way, her panic wins. Aelin is never the target, without her they cease to exist. It’s that fire in her heart that the panic is after because without that fire, Aelin is no more. Her attacks are smart because they know there are two ways to extinguish a fire: deprive it of oxygen or get it wet.

Aelin is about to release the hold she has on her lungs when she feels something in her hand. In the water, she can’t tell what it is until another set of fingers interlace with hers.

Then she’s being pulled. Pulled and pulled, up and up, until the black of the water fades to blue. She never knows when it happens, but when she finally breaks the surface, there’s sunlight.

Slowly, she becomes more aware of her surroundings. Below her, she feels the fabric of her bedsheets, not the grains of sand. Her skin is damp from sweat, not soaked with sea water. Her breathing, while still shallow, is beginning to even out.

Her years of going to the university’s wellness center kicked in after a minute, and she began to list foods in alphabetical order in her head. Apples, bananas, cake. She wiggles her toes. French fries, grapes, hamburgers. She stretches her legs. Kiwi, lasagna, mangoes. She flexes her fingers, her arms. Oranges, popsicles, quesadillas.

In. Out.

Spaghetti, tacos, udon noodles.

Aelin lifts her head and opens her eyes. She blinks a few times and is finally able to focus on the soft forest green eyes staring back at her. They are so similar to yet completely different from the bright emeralds she longs to see.

Her best friend just sat there, holding her sweaty hand in hers until Aelin was ready to speak. She had to clear her throat a few times before she rasped, “A woman answered his phone.”

Lysandra’s eyes widened ever so slightly, but her face revealed nothing as she grabbed a glass of water she must have brought with her. Wordlessly, she handed it to Aelin. She downed half the glass in one go, then finished it in two more. She kept the glass in her hands, spinning it mindlessly as they talked.

“I don’t think you need me to tell you that it might not mean anything,” she said.

Aelin sighed. “I don’t think you need me to tell you that my mind isn’t exactly in the right place to be thinking of silver linings.”

“I know, I do, but we don’t need to freak out about it quite yet. I mean, you were going to go on a date with Chaol, right?” Aelin nodded weakly, seeing where she was going with this. “And he doesn’t actually know about the baby yet. So truly, he hasn’t done anything wrong, yeah?”

“I really hate when you’re right.”

“I think you secretly love it.”

The corner of Aelin’s mouth quirked up for a split second. “You’re as insufferable as my cousin.”

Lysandra barked out a laugh that made Aelin giggle. The sound was short-lived as the best friends were enveloped by silence once again.

Aelin contemplated what to do next, knowing Lysandra was exactly right. She was going to go on a date with someone else. So why did the thought of Rowan with another woman freak her out so badly? Gods, she was a mess. She really wants to blame it on the baby.

The baby.

Aelin touched a hand to her still-flat stomach and picked up her phone, knowing she needed to just rip the band-aid off. Her phone showed no new messages from Rowan, but why would he call his ex when he can be tangled in the sheets with the sexy-voiced woman? Not the point, Aelin. Right. She opened her text messages, scrolling to her conversation with Rowan.

Her heart clenched and silver lined her eyes when she saw that the last message he had sent her was on New Year’s Day. It read, Here’s to you and me in 2020, baby. I love you. Within 24 hours of that message, their relationship went to shit. Aelin doesn’t even remember what really happened, but next thing she knew, she was standing in an airport terminal crying, single, and unknowingly with child.

Aelin took a deep breath to calm her nerves and typed out a simple, Hey Rowan. I know we haven’t talked since you left, but I was wondering if you could call me when you’re free? Just let me know, thanks.

She locked her phone and crawled back under the covers. Effectively drained from her panic, the fire that was burning so bright when she woke up was barely an ember.

The sound of Lysandra moving about her apartment lulled her back into a dreamless sleep.

----------

Rowan Whitethorn was tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. He was so gods damned tired. His old friend, Vaughan, told him that if he took just one really easy study abroad class, he’ll essentially get a semester long vacation paid for completely by financial aid.

Rowan had a free elective left in his crazy pre-law schedule, so he chose photography. Just taking pictures of random shit, right?

Wrong.

His brain is overflowing with random information about aperture and lighting and exposure, and if someone tells him his angles are wrong one more time, he’s going to lose it. On top of that, he was assigned a partner to work with this whole semester. And because there really must be a god out there whose sole purpose is to spite him, his partner is his unbearable ex, Remelle.

He and Remelle are from the same hometown and went to the same middle and high school. They started dating the summer before they left for college and decided to stay together at the University of Terrasen.

He wasn’t sure what it was exactly that made him realize Remelle was a Grade A Bitch, but by the end of fall semester, he ended it with her. Then he met Aelin through Fenrys, and - well, he doesn’t want to think about her right now.

Rowan has been in Wendlyn for about two months now, running around the city finding subjects for their project. Wendlyn is one of the biggest cities he’s ever been to, and even if he commutes everywhere he’s trying to go, it takes him a whole day to barely cover sixteenth of the land.

It wouldn’t be so bad if he had someone else to split the city with, but Remelle usually spends her whole day seducing whatever poor bastard she can get to take her to bed that night instead. He’d drag Fenrys along if he could, but he opted to take an Old Language class and is stuck in a classroom at Mistward Tech.

The weather in Wendlyn was finally beginning to warm up after weeks of blizzards and freezing temperatures that put Terrasen winters to shame, so Rowan chose to wander on foot. He spends most of the morning taking practice shots of Wendlyn architecture and anything else that might look nice for the project.

Rowan had to admit this was a nice excuse to go sightseeing.

By noon, he was feeling good about the progress he made and planned to reward himself with whatever delicious spread their hosts had prepared for lunch. He figured he was about an hour walk away from their housing, so he opted to call an Uber.

It took him about five minutes of rummaging through the camera bag before he finally found his phone. The sun was so bright at this time of day that the only thing he could see was that his facial recognition wasn’t working. Using muscle memory, he typed in his passcode when the faint lines of numbers appeared. That didn’t work either.

Growing more and more frustrated and hungry by the minute, Rowan walked until he found an awning to use as shade. Blinking away the blinding spots from his eyes, his frustration morphed into anger.

This wasn’t his fucking phone.

Since when did he and Remelle have the same phone? With almost identical cases? He cursed her for whatever plot she’s probably scheming by switching their phones. He cursed her again for being the reason he’s way too exhausted to realize the phone he packed that morning wasn’t even his.

Rowan decided to order a sandwich and water from a shop nearby - using Remelle’s card from the wallet attached to her phone, because fuck you, Remelle - and walk back.

As he walked, Rowan let his mind wander to the golden haired beauty with turquoise eyes across the sea - the source of his emotional exhaustion. He loved her, would go as far as saying he was in love with her. But something about their chemistry had exploded in the weeks leading up to his study abroad program, and not in a good way.

For lack of a better explanation, he was confused. From the moment he met her in his own apartment with Fenrys, he knew they were going to be something. Not even a month later, they went on their first date and the rest was history. Not only was their friendship instantaneously synchronous, but when they finally crossed that intimate threshold, their chemistry was like no other.

Fast forward two years later, and they were better than ever. Aelin fit in with his friend group so perfectly she officially dubbed them “the Cadre” and herself as their “Queen”. Rowan was starting to take his future with her seriously.

But then Lyria transferred to the University of Terrasen.

Rowan never told Aelin about her. He didn’t think he had to. They were childhood to middle school sweethearts, hardly anything substantial. She moved before they got to high school when her dad was transferred to the Air Force base in Eyllwe. They kept in touch as best they could, but it was high school. Remelle was there and Lyria wasn’t. When Aelin came along, he forgot about her altogether.

His first week of senior year, he was waiting for his comparative law class to start, when she sat down next to him. His emerald green eyes met startlingly familiar chestnut ones, and Rowan felt like he couldn’t breathe. He was lucky it was the first day of syllabus week - it didn’t matter if he paid attention or not.

They caught up over coffee and started studying together throughout the semester. He told her all about Aelin, and when he finally introduced the two women, they were fast friends. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but at some point, Aelin’s demeanor began to change.

She was usually so confident with herself and her place in the world, but every time Lyria was mentioned, her eyes shuttered for a brief second. If he wasn’t constantly enamoured with the constant shift from turquoise to gold in her eyes, he would have never noticed.

Then her jealousy began to show, along with her possessiveness. It was unbecoming of her. But every time he brought it up, her pride took over and she denied all of his accusations. Every time he tried to explain that he loved Aelin and a romantic relationship with Lyria was a thing of the past, she brushed it off with an I know but continued to act like a stranger.

When he felt he couldn’t take it anymore, he used his study abroad as an excuse to take a break. He thought it would be a good idea for the two of them to spend some time apart and re-evaluate when he was back in Terrasen. At this point in time, if she hasn’t figured out that he has been faithful to her this whole time, he isn’t sure he will want to fight for them.

It was that thought that brought him back to the housing campus right outside of Mistward Tech. He marched himself straight to Remelle’s room, knowing that even though it was well into the afternoon, she was most definitely still tangled in the sheets with a stranger.

After a minute of incessant knocking, Remelle opened the door with an irritated, “What?”

Rowan didn’t bother being pleasant. “Give me my phone.”

“What are you talking about?” The glint in her eye told him she knew exactly what he was talking about, and Rowan was not having it.

“I honestly don’t give a fuck about what game you’re playing, but I’m exhausted, hungry, and need my phone back.”

“Why do you need it? Expecting a call from someone?”

“No? I just want it back?” Remelle stared at him with a look he couldn’t quite decipher before turning back into her room to retrieve his phone.

When they traded, she said, “You got a weird call this morning. I obviously thought it was my phone so I didn’t bother checking the caller ID, but the other person hung up without saying anything.”

Rowan mumbled a thanks then went to the kitchen to grab a snack to eat in his bed. As soon as he flopped on the bed, all he wanted to do was take a nap, but he managed to stay awake long enough to check his notifications.

Other than a few likes on a post he uploaded a few days ago, there was nothing interesting. He plugged his phone into the charger by the night stand and was about to close his eyes when the sound of an incoming text made him alert. It wasn’t just any sound, though. It was the first few notes of Fur Elise. Aelin’s favorite piano piece.

He quickly sat up on the side of the bed and unlocked his phone. What he read made his heart rate increase as if he was running up the side of one of the mountains near Mistward. She wrote, Hey Rowan. I know we haven’t talked since you left, but I was wondering if you could call me when you’re free? Just let me know, thanks.

He didn’t need to think twice about tapping her name on his favorites list and lifting the phone to his ear. It rang and rang and rang for so long, he thought she wasn’t going to answer. But then she did. And his heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice.

“Rowan?” She sounded hesitant, like she wasn’t sure it was him on the other end.

“Yeah, it’s me. Um, how are you, Aelin?”

He could hear her heavy breathing, trying to steady herself. It made Rowan nervous. “I think so? It depends on the day, really. I, um, I actually have something I need to talk to you about. I had a whole speech planned out, but I don’t know if there’s a best way to tell you this.”

Rowan waited with bated breath. What could she possibly have to tell him? He wondered if she started dating someone else already. The thought made his stomach drop. But what else could it be?

Aelin took a deep breath with a forceful exhale. The next words that came out of her mouth made his heart join his stomach on the floor.

“Rowan. I’m pregnant.”

---

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@maddymelv || @lucy617 || @tillyrubes10 || @faerie-queen-fireheart || @tottenhamboys20 || @the-third-me || @superspiritfestival || @rolltide7 || @courtofjurdan || @sleeping-and-books || @aelinchocolatelover

#rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin #rowan whitehorn #aelin galathynius #rowan x aelin #modern au #throne of glass #sarah j maas #my writing #sfq meg writes

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coreymichaelsmithson · 3 years

Text

The Lights of Treasure Island

For the past few years, I've been living on a barrier island named Anastasia. A sandy, sleepy, slow place, just off the coast of our nation's oldest city, Anastasia Island features tall palm trees and gorgeous beaches, along with excellent sushi and a surprisingly active arts scene. Its most splendid attraction, though, is an old lighthouse, one striped with a black and white spiral and crowned by a bright red lamphouse. It towers commandingly over the dunes, casting a long beam that can be seen from nearly anywhere in town.

I've always liked lighthouses. In days of old we set these magnificent lanterns on the edge of the sea, to guide sailors through dark and treacherous waters, to show them the way home. Lighthouses represent so many things we need: safety, comfort, reliability, navigation. But in my mind, these structures hold the magic of candles, the magic of illumination itself. When we speak of enlightenment, we may be speaking specifically of rationality and discovery, but we are also conjuring images of light prevailing over darkness. And in this way the lighthouse emerges as a powerful symbol of the spirit.

This February, for my 47th birthday, I explored the Outer Banks of North Carolina, where I saw several amazing lighthouses. Impressive as they were, I did not think they quite compared with the singular majesty of the structure that stands on Anastasia Island. After a harrowing return journey, one in which I drove with no working alternator (and sometimes without headlights or windshield wipers) through nearly 700 miles of tornadic thunderstorms, I felt the most profound relief when I finally crested the peak of the SR-312 bridge, which connects my island to the mainland, and I saw those familiar black and white stripes in the distance, signaling that I had made it home. Less than half a year later, my feelings about this special lighthouse of mine would be forever changed by a chance encounter.

Just under two months ago, I received a brief and rather unremarkable message from a stranger on Scruff, a queer dating platform that I use. One might charitably call Scruff "a social club for discerning gentlemen" ... it appeals to men who are hirsute, meaty, perpetually horny, and even a few of us freaks who defiantly straddle the line between "butch" and "nancy". Since this man's profile didn't really offer all that much information, and his one available picture wasn't particularly compelling, I promptly tucked his message away and forgot about it, and went for my customary sunset walk on the beach.

I live exactly one mile from the southern boundary of a state park, which offers a four-mile stretch of pristine dune habitat, completely undeveloped and sparsely occupied. The only man-made objects in sight are a few empty lifeguard stands, the city's sightseeing pier, a radio antennae, and our lighthouse. Dolphins gather here, their dorsal fins rising and falling between the breakers. Squadrons of pelicans fly in tight formations, gliding only a few feet above the water's surface. Terns and sea turtles nest in its sands, and I've found many shark teeth among the sea shells and ghost crab burrows. This is a special place, a holy place, and I've made a daily ritual of enjoying its cloudscapes and crepuscular glow as I explore the edge between land and sea.

After a pleasant stroll, maybe an hour or so of blissful meditation, I turned around and started heading back towards my car when I caught sight of a man who had just walked out of the water and was now drying himself off. We locked eyes.

He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Arrestingly beautiful, the kind of handsome that stops you dead in your tracks. I just kind of gulped for a second, and then walked right up to him, with an audacity that I didn't even know I possessed, turned on every damn bulb in my Christmas tree, and murmured, "Hi!", making the word shimmer like tinsel. In a short amount of time, I learned that he was a Russian artist, born in St. Petersburg but living in Moscow. I had met him during a brief pause on his long drive from Jacksonville to Key West; he had only intended on stopping in St. Augustine long enough to explore our old Spanish fort and take a swim on our nicest beach. He possessed a keen intellect, a quick wit, and a laudable command of English. As we spoke, he kept giving me flashes of the most mischievous smile, and so when I finally asked him what he was grinning about, he revealed that he was the same man who had messaged me earlier. This came as a surprise, for I hadn't recognized him at all ... I had only been drawn in now by his gorgeous movie-star looks, the undeniable sex appeal of his dripping wet body, and some weird sense of destiny.

We talked. We talked some more. We went to dinner. And then he stayed for the better part of three days.

In my bed, we enjoyed the most astonishing kind of communion. Our nights and mornings were filled with such tenderness ... soft eyes, soft caresses, fearlessly sustained gazes, the kind of kisses that tell a hundred little stories. One by one, various secrets were brought to light. We shared toe-curling carnality, thunderous climaxes, an unalloyed and unembarrassed intimacy. We shared joy.

On our second day together, I took him to the top of Anastasia Island's lighthouse. We lingered on each landing to kiss and giggle, and our embraces grew more intense. We felt a stronger and stronger pull towards one another. I knew that this was more than just a simple infatuation. By the time we reached the lantern's round balcony, and stepped out together onto the most spectacular view of St. Augustine, I knew that I was falling in love.

I don't blame you for rolling your eyes at this. You may, in your justifiable cynicism, think it ridiculous for a man to utter such a powerful phrase within such a short time. But if you've ever known me, you've come to recognize by now my considerable capacity for love. My passions and appetites may rise to the surface with little interference, and will I admit some recklessness in how I've invested my energies, but I am no fool. I am neither naïve nor desperate. And I can say in all sincerity that what we felt then was, at least for a short while, genuine love.

From the top of the lighthouse we could see everything. The old downtown, with its mixture of colonial and Spanish Renaissance buildings. The Matanzas River, named for the 1565 massacre of shipwrecked Huguenots, separating my island from the mainland. The harbor of St. Augustine, crowded with sailboats and pleasure craft, a forest of masts. And then the sea, blue and inviting, the sea that would soon separate us. We held each other tightly and looked upon the Atlantic together, casting our dreams towards the horizon, into this vista of seemingly endless possibility and hope.

On our last night together, we took a naked midnight swim in my pool, which is lit from above by a row of blue lights. A light and warm rain fell on our heads as we twined our legs underwater, and our ardor cast a web of rippling refractive patterns on the pool's concrete bottom. He looked me in the eyes, kissed me with the utmost gentleness, and formally invited me to come stay with him in Moscow. I accepted with my new magic word, "Да."

The following morning, our parting was so sweet, and so warm. We solidified our promise to be reunited. He drove down to Key West, enjoying a music playlist I assembled for him, and then he flew up to New York for a week's visit with old friends. After he returned to Moscow, we embarked on a passionate long-distance affair via telephone and social media apps.

I plunged right away into the Russian language, practicing for hours a day, rediscovering my knack for linguistics. I bought books on the cities of Moscow and St. Petersburg, books on Russian verbs, flashcards, a portable dictionary. I subscribed to online learning programs, put apps on my phone, read up on the country's history. I was all in, bringing every available bit of my enthusiasm, work ethic, and inventiveness to the challenge. Every day, I would send him sweet little videos or text messages ... sharing good news, conveying small but significant events of my daily life, showing off my rapidly accelerating grasp of Russian. I sent him notes of encouragement, pictures of me looking my cutest, small but enjoyable details of my life on Anastasia Island. I sent him a short clip of the black skimmers that sliced back and forth across the thin swash of the surf, their beaks dipping into half an inch of water. I sent him pelicans, beach crabs, waves, paintings, difficult words, idioms, cute terms of venery, sunsets, clouds, kisses, evidence of my changing body. I sent him love, every day. "каждый день," I promised him, placing my hand on my heart, "каждый день." Every day.

My love deepened by the hour. I know this is going to sound so gushy and gross, but I really pushed the lighthouse metaphor pretty hard, calling myself "твой смотритель маяка" or "your lighthouse keeper". I meant this in all sincerity, without a drop of bathos or schmaltz. Our time atop the lighthouse was sacred to me. I promised him that I would keep its light burning bright.

Over time, however, things shifted. As my interest grew, his began to dwindle. He sent less and less of himself, slowly removing from our conversation his humor, his sexuality, his warmth, his trust. It was like seeing a fully assembled jigsaw puzzle get lifted into the air, and watching all the pieces falling out ... at first only a few at a time, then more and more, until there was only a jagged perimeter where there had once been a lovely picture.

The nadir came when he lost his temper with me over my visa. I was confused about the process, as the Russian consulate and other sources were providing patchy and often conflicting information, and his own explanations changed from day to day. During our last video chat, I asked one too many questions, and he snapped. He rolled his eyes, effectively called me stupid and childish, and hung up on me three times. My many attempts at reconciliation were completely rebuffed. It was both baffling and extraordinarily painful.

Two days after our fight he was in a terrible car accident, one from which he miraculously escaped unharmed. He posted on social media an impassioned paragraph about the event, and how it drew into sharp focus all the love he had in his life, how he felt that he wasn't deserving of such love, how grateful he was for his friends. Yet instead of contacting me, inviting me into this experience, or trying to repair our frayed connection, he spent his evenings logging back into Scruff, the aforementioned dating app. He continued to ignore me, choosing instead to pursue (or perhaps refresh) other opportunities. I tried in vain to reach him, to restore our bond, but was met with only the most chilling silence.

How had I been so wrong? Had my desire devolved into mere obsession, albeit one artfully disguised as love? Had my zeal somehow suffocated him? The irony for me was that this disastrous affair unfolded during a period of rapid and positive transformation. In the space of the last seven months, I'd already changed my diet, fixed my teeth, joined a gym, paid off a chunk of my debt, reorganized my home office, purchased a standing desk, resumed my daily beach walks, started seeing both a psychiatrist and a therapist. My relationship to my body was improving, I was working at a higher level of professional responsibility, gaining new clients, writing my fourth novel, and churning out the finest paintings of my career. A recent experience with ayahuasca had given me valuable insights into my adulthood. It seemed only right that this Russian should be the cherry on my sundae, a prize I had been working so hard to deserve.

And so, after admitting my own disenchantment, I surrendered. Reeling from an overwhelming feeling of loss, I wrote him a heartfelt letter in Russian, one in which I explained the hurt his indifference was causing me. I poured a lot of benevolent energy into this letter. And then I said to him the saddest word I've learned in Russian, "Прощай", which is the type of goodbye you use when you think you are not likely to see someone again. It translates, literally, into "forgive me."

Here is the letter I wrote to him, translated into English:

***

"V_____, beautiful V____:

Okay. I give up.

Your silence gave me a very clear and very painful answer. You have been entrusted with something rare and beautiful, and you have shown that you do not want it. So now it's gone.

I'm sorry my heart bored you so much. I will no longer annoy you with my desires.

The love that I offered you ... pure and strong, given without demands or jealous limitations ... does not come often.

It pains me to realize that you do not appreciate what I have tried to give you. It is even more painful to realize that I may have aggravated the situation with my zeal. But the distance that you put between us is your choice, and I must respect that.

It seems that the epiphany you experienced in the car accident, the moment you thought of all the love in your life, did not include my love for you. Your priorities are yours, and I accept that. But you almost died yesterday, V_____. And instead of choosing to bond with a man who cares about you so much, your focus shifted to Scruff. Your indifference is so obvious now. Please do not say anything ugly or cruel in response. There is already enough sorrow on my island. I feel both grief and embarrassment, but not anger. I've always wanted the best for you, and it's still true.

I sincerely wish you a long and happy journey. I hope you enjoy many successes and find many pleasures. I hope you stay healthy. I hope the man you choose deserves your best gifts. I hope you find a better lighthouse. I must direct my light now to those who are really looking for it. So now I must tell you the saddest word that I have learned in your language.

Goodbye."

***

Please allow me now to rewind a few years, and tell a correlative story.

In the autumn of 2019, during a period of intense sadness and frustration, I fled from Anastasia Island and drove impulsively across the state to the Gulf Coast. I didn't have a clear destination, I didn't pack enough clothes or supplies, and I was so blinded with tears and unexpressed rage that I didn't know where I was, or even care much about where I might land. While getting lost somewhere in the vicinity of St. Petersburg, I glanced at a map, dragged my finger along the squiggly coastline, saw the name Treasure Island, and thought, "That's gotta be the place."

I don't know what I was expecting to find there. Something about the name sounded so exciting, so exotic. And as the evening wore on, my anticipation grew. I thought, in my desperation, that everything would be all right once I got to Treasure Island. Over the next few hours, I convinced myself that I'd finally feel good again in such a place, that my pain and confusion would certainly evaporate once I reached this safe haven. I'd check into a nice hotel room, preferably one with 300 thread-count sheets and a coffee maker, and I'd dream about pirate ships and gold doubloons, and when I opened my eyes and yawned and stretched against the sun-dappled pillows my life would basically feel like a commercial for some bougie brand of almond milk. When I arrived, however, I was deeply disappointed to see another narrow stretch of high-rise hotels, littered beaches, rank seaweed, and greyish-brown water. I found the cheapest hotel room around, one of the few remaining vacancies on the shore, and there I found neither crisp bedsheets nor good coffee. The view from my balcony, however, was utterly amazing: I could see not only a broad curving swath of the beach, but also a glow of distant resort hotels, some of them reflected in the waves. It was strangely romantic, seeing these twinkling lights ... red, gold, green, blue ... and their silent conversation with the stars, a dialogue of jewels above the warm churning waters of the Gulf. But it wasn't the salvation I had been hoping for.

When I got up the next morning, I was still facing the same problems, the same irritations, the same heavy sorrows. Treasure Island would not, could not, rescue me from myself. So I drove back home to my own island, back to my lighthouse, and was relieved to discover that it was in fact even more stirring than I had remembered. During my absence Anastasia Island had become a magical and restorative place, quite different than the one I had left only days before.

What I should have learned back then, but have only come to realize now, was this: I didn't need to travel to a distant island of treasure and twinkling stars, for my own island already had plenty of both. I didn't need to seek the incandescence of a handsome man to light my way, as my own inner flame was at last beginning to shine without the shutters of inhibition or profligacy.

I am now recalling my disappointment with Treasure Island, while concurrently considering my grief over the Russian. At first, I wanted to hate him for his carelessness, for how he squandered my gifts. But I don't hate him. Not really. There's no need to wring my hands any further over his callousness. I don't even mourn his absence anymore. My mood has shifted today, and I no longer choose to see this abortive liaison as being so devastating. For I know, deep down, that the failure here was not really mine. I am not a loser for investing myself unreservedly in someone who could not fully appreciate me, nor I am not the weaker man for feeling injured. I will not be permanently depleted for having offered all that kindness to an undeserving recipient, as my wellspring of love remains inexhaustible.

I tried to share my lighthouse with the Russian. But he did not recognize how special it really was, and he declined to follow its beacon to a rewarding harbor. And thus, our romance was destroyed, and his memory became just another broken boat littering the shallows.

I have seen so many ruins in my years: bad relationships, lousy jobs, soured opportunities. My life story reads like a ledger of dashed hopes. It seems sometimes that both the island I occupy and the more elusive island I am eternally seeking are surrounded by shipwrecks. Yet the lighthouse of my spirit still stands, sturdier and stronger than ever. The waves may batter its bricks, salt may scour its surfaces, it may occasionally groan under its own weight ... but it will not crumble, it will not fail, and even in the darkest of hours this lamp of mine will continue to shine: bright, focused, undiminished.

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