#if any time there is some sort of disagreement and upset i go into actual self destruct mode

[inkdrinkerworld]

omg please write that !!! ur so talented i know it would be amazing !!

Cw: angst, sibling arguments, being perceived as a bad person, anxiety, overthinking 0.8k

“Dove, you can’t keep letting them get away with that! It’s not fair.” Remus is tugging at his hair, his eyes wide as he tries to get his point across.

You’re not exactly sure how you venting about your day had turned into an argument but it had.

You’re on a video call, eyes tired as you explained to Remus the plights of your last few days.

You’d had the most massive falling out with your siblings because you’d tried standing up for yourself and now no one was speaking to you.

Mostly because you’d just resorted to silence than actually continuing the conversation- be it for fear of them fully disliking you or be it just to keep the peace.

Remus had been there for some of your arguments, he knew that eight times out of ten they took simple instructions or comments the wrong way no matter how clear you’d been.

“Rem, I have to. It’s just easier.”

Remus narrows his eyes at you, taking in your tear puffed cheeks, red eyes and shaking form.

“For who? I don’t mean to be harsh, but it’s clearly not easier for you. You’ve been crying nonstop and you’re not speaking to each other.”

You sigh, hard. Remus isn’t getting it and in your annoyance, you think he’s being thick on purpose.

“Remus, it’s just how it always is. We fight, we don’t speak and then it sorts itself out.”

He rubs his forehead. Remus has had this conversation with you before, and while he’s always been open about his opinions, he’s never been this upset.

Most definitely because you’ve never been this upset by it.

“It doesn’t though, you forgive them without saying anything and bottle it up until the next disagreement.” You’re sure he doesn’t mean to be harsh, but having your behavior pointed out this clearly is jarring in a way that it’s never been before.

Your eyes spring tears at his words. You love and you hate how well Remus is at reading you.

He takes your silence as the floor to continue, “They already think you’re a bad person, what’s standing up for yourself going to do? They’re not going to take the silence as anything but you being ‘difficult’, just like always.”

You choke back a sob, “But I don’t like being the bad guy. Being that is exhausting Remus and having people think that is hurtful and it’s tiring and,” you sniffle a breath in. “I just don’t want to be that anymore. Everyone else gets the benefit of the doubt besides me.”

“Dove,”

You hang up before he can say anything else and flop back onto your bed with a groan.

Your body shakes as you cry, your stuffed animals soaking up all the wet tears.

It feels horrible, having the people that mean the most to you upset with you.

At first you feel okay, ignoring your conversation with Remus in your head.

And then, your brain works up scenarios where tomorrow or tonight when he calls or if you see him- whichever happens first- he’ll say this is it.

It’s not the first nor is it the second time you’ve both had this conversation, and you imagine he’s upset having to say the same thing repeatedly only for you to ignore his words completely.

You know how tiring that is, and that makes your chest burn even more. It feels like a hot knife slicing through cold butter, this shame and this guilt that sits in your chest.

You cry some more when you realize that Remus really could break up with you, if the look of annoyance on his face had been any give away.

You fall asleep some time between crying over the argument with your siblings, the one with Remus and the anxiety-inducing idea that Remus is done with you.

The shrill ring of your phone wakes you up, and you answer without looking at the screen.

“I didn’t mean to imply that you’re a bad person, dovey.” Is the first thing out of his mouth and you feel your eyes burn with unshed tears again. “You’re not a bad person and you could never be.”

“Yeah,” your voice is groggy and hoarse as you speak. Your eyes are heavy as you blink, weighed down by all that crying. “You’re not upset with me? For being a pushover and for hanging up on you?”

Remus sighs and you wish you could see him.

He feels bad for the couple hours of your overthinking. The regret sets in his chest for a bit before it dissipates.

“Dove,” it’s a little reverent the way he says it. “We’re okay, baby. We’re always going to be okay,” you exhale shakily. “You could do horrible crimes and we’d always be okay. Tell your brain to give you a break okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

You sob softly and Remus makes a cooing sound in his throat.

“Will you come see me? Please?”

Remus chuckles his keys jingling in the background. “I’m on my way dovey, wait for me out front? On the swing set?”

“I can stay over right?” Remus laughs fully this time.

“You’re being silly. Dovey, pack two bags yeah? I’ll be ten minutes.”

#remuslupin #remus lupin #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x yn #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x black!reader #remus lupin fic

[a-case-of-attachment]

So in Hell’s Greatest Dad, Lucifer tells Charlie that ‘with a punch of a pentagram’ and ‘usually I charge a sacrificial lamb’ when he’s offering to help her with the hotel and it got me thinking. Surely he must have had people sacrifice things in his honour or for favours before right? So….what if when something is sacrificed to him it ends up down in Hell?

It works like some sort of inter dimensional postal service. Lucifer will just be doing whatever then a portal will open up above him full of weird oil slick coloured clouds and lightening cracking across the endless sky with the boom of thunder not far behind. Out of the portal flies a cherub sized faun wearing a shirt, waistcoat and bow tie brandishing a clipboard that’s got the contract attached to it. All the important things will be on there like who’s doing the sacrificing, what they are sacrificing and what they want in exchange for it. Lucifer can either accept the sacrifice and sign the document, giving the sinner what they want or just straight up refuse to sign, decline the sacrifice and instead have it sent off to purgatory.

The problem is that Lucifer is so jaded that he doesn’t even bother reading the contracts any more. Sinners all want the same thing anyway, fame, fortune, revenge, so what’s the point even bothering to look these days? It’s not like he gets that many sacrifices in his name anymore and when he does it’s mostly just lambs and goats, the occasional dog or guinea pig and a cat that one time. He often just gives them to people as pets, it’s how Charlie had gotten razzle and dazzle.

But you know, people are deranged and over the centuries there have been a handful of human souls that come his way. Lucifer never accepts those, often get angry that people actually think killing someone would make him happy. Shocker, it doesn’t. All it did was prove that humans really are just the worst, a race of violent psychopaths hellbent on causing as much pain and destruction as they can. Yes Lucifer felt bad that these people had died and for nothing but he wasn’t about to reward some lowlife scumbag for taking another’s life so unfortunately that meant the sacrificed soul was purgatory bound. It wasn’t ideal but it also wasn’t permanent. At least there they would get the chance to move onto heaven eventually and not be stuck in this infernal nightmare for all of eternity.

So no, Lucifer didn’t do human sacrifices. Except, well, maybe he did.

It was an accident! Lucifer had been distracted, him and Charlie having a slight disagreement about the hotel and her expectations when it came to heaven. He hadn’t meant to upset her but she needed to realise that very few angels would be as open to the idea of redemption as he or Emily had been. It had been just about the time Lucifer had been urging Charlie to proceed with caution when it came to Heaven that a portal opens above him, a little faun flying out, clipboard already in hand and looking down at Lucifer through the spectacles perched on its nose.

Lucifer had attempted to ignore the blasted thing but it just flys around his head, brandishing the clip board and tapping impatiently at its wristwatch until Lucifer finally had enough and snatches the board off him, quickly flipping to the back and signing it before shoving it back at the startled faun. It just huffs at him, jotting something down before tearing off a sheet and giving it back to Lucifer only to disappear back into the portal. Lucifer doesn’t look at the contract he just signed, not caring what shallow and self serving thing the mortal had asked for. He goes back to Charlie, continuing to urge to not trust heaven so easily, all the while holding his arms out expectantly to catch whatever animal is going to drop out of the portal.

Lucifers expecting a lamb or a goat, heavyish for a human but nothing for him, except he gets something much larger and heavier, the shock of it knocking Lucifer to the ground. His first thought is some wretched mortal had sacrificed a cow or horse, either to lazy to find the usual offering or thinking the bigger the sacrifice the better the reward. Either way Lucifer is already regretting his choice to grant their wish, no clue what he is supposed to do with a cow other than send it down to a farm on wrath. Grumbling Lucifer sits up slightly, tugging at his hat that had been pushed down over his eyes but when he mages to pull his hat off Lucifer realises it’s so much worse than a cow.

There’s a person on his lap. A very human person sprawled across his lap and legs, their weight pinning him to the floor. You are dressed all in a white, the fabric almost see through though the top part was stained red with blood. Lucifer can’t look past your chest, the demonic sigils carved there still oozing blood. When he does manage to look up it’s to fined wide fear filled eyes staring back at him. The two of you just stare at one another, Lucifer feeling more and more panicked as the seconds drag on whilst you look close to passing out.

The whole room is silent and Lucifer just knows that they are all staring at the two of you, just as shocked as him and waiting for one of you to do something. Charlie is the first one to make a move, slowly creeping across the room to lay a hand on your shoulder. She probably meant to be a reassuring gesture but it’s a mistake nonetheless. It startled you, causing you to fall from Lucifers lap and giving you the first real view of the room and the rest of its inhabitants. Things go about as well as you would think.

You start screaming, Charlie panics as she tries to calm you down but only makes it worse, Angel dust offers you a drink that gets knocked out his hand and ends up all over Husk and Alastor offers to silence you permanently. Needless to say that none of what they are doing helps calm you down or make you feel any less afraid and all Lucifer does is sit there, staring down at the smear of red on his white pants and struggling to wrap his head around what in the hell is happening because he couldn’t have just accepted a human soul as payment. He’s never done that before, never, and yet there you are, cowering in the corner like a frightened animal, eyes franticly darting around as you look for some form of escape.

It’s that look of pure terror that gets Lucifer up and moving, handing off his hat and cane to Charlie as he gets everyone to back up and give you some space. He approached you slowly, hands held up in front of him to show you he meant no harm and keeping his voice soft and calm as he tells you that no one’s going to hurt you, that your safe here with them. He makes sure to leave a little bit of space between you when he stops, sinking down into a crouch so he’s eye level though you won’t look at him for long, eyes darting around at even the slightest movement. You’re still bleeding, the sigil for his name looking the deepest. It makes Lucifer feel sick, that someone could do this to you and claim that it’s in his honour. He found no honour in an act like this, only hate and disgust, igniting a strong desire inside him to hunt down those responsible and show them the same kindness they had you.

It takes a good few minutes of Lucifer talking at you before he gets any form of response. He introduces himself, tells you once more that he isn’t going to hurt you and that he just wants to help and maybe even clean up those markings so they don’t get infected. It’s slow going but eventually you give him a slight nod, uncurling from where you had been trying to make yourself as small as possible so he can get a better look at the ugly mess of cuts on your chest. He startled you when he conjures water and a cloth, Lucifer apologising as you bang into the wall behind you in an attempt to get away from the sudden action. He does get you to calm down though, at least enough for him to clean away the blood and apply bandages.

These wounds will not disappear like the injuries the now resident of Hell would sustain, their origin in magic and acting as a physical sign of your binding to him. But Lucifer vows to look after them and you, after all this is all his fault and though he knows that Charlie would care for you if he was to up and leave he can’t bring himself to do so. It’s his responsibility to look after you, you are his after all and isn’t that just a horrific twisted little thought. Lucifer wants to cry, to beg your forgiveness because unless he was to gift your soul to another you were bound to him from now until eternity, forced to obey his every request regardless of what you wanted. He can’t cry though, not when you already are, silent tears rolling down your cheeks and dripping off your chin onto his hand and arm as he cleans away the blood. So he fights back the tears, completely focused on his task and trying to be as gentle as he possibly can be.

When he’s done and the now ruined rag and pink water are vanished away with the wave of his hand Lucifer doesn’t know what else to do other than offer you a safe space of your own and a comfortable bed to sleep in so he does exactly that. You look terrified when he asks if you would like to go to bed, eyes dropping down to just below his belt. Lucifer might actually be sick when he realises what you are scared is going to happen and he can’t get the words out quick enough to reassure you that he means to sleep and that you will be the only person in the room. His obvious horror at the implication seems to reassure you and you give him a small nod.

You use the wall to support you getting up but as soon as you go to take a step forward your legs buckle and Lucifer has to lurch forward to grab hold of you before you can hit the floor. Your to weak, wether that be from the shock or the blood loss Lucifer doesn’t know, possibly both, but what he does know is you are not going to make it up the several flights of stairs on your own.

He asks before picking you up, waiting for you to give him a nod of agreement before he slips one hand behind your back and the other behind your knees. It’s nothing for him to pick you up but it had you squeaking in surprise, flinging your arms around his neck and pulling yourself tighter against him. Lucifer can’t help laugh softly, assuring you that he was stronger than he looked and that he wouldn’t drop you. You don’t seem to buy it though, your hold around his neck tightening as you hide your head against his shoulder. He can’t blame you for being scared, Licifer looks like a strong breeze would send him stumbling but he supposes that’s one of the perks of being an angel, he’s stronger than he looks.

It’s only when he turns around that Lucifer realises the rooms completely empty except for the two of you. He doesn’t know when everyone else disappeared but he’s grateful for it, not sure how you would have reacted to a room full of weird looking people staring at you. He talks to you the whole time up to your room, telling you where he was taking you and a little about the hotel and it’s residents, though he mostly tell you about Charlie and Vaggie, the only other people he trusts to look after you correctly if he wasn’t around. Lucifer picks a room for you on the same floor as him though a couple of doors down in an attempt to keep you close and also give you some probably much needed distance. He sets you down on the bed, tells you where everything is including his room, just in case you need him before he comes back to check the bandages in a few hours. He does conjure you some sleep clothes though, making sure they were the softest and most comfortable thing you have ever worn. He wants you to be comfortable, to actually feel safe after what you have been through and though he knows the simple kindness he has showing you will not erase that it will hopefully show you that despite what you may have heard Lucifer isn’t all that bad.

Lucifer hates himself just a little bit more after what he does next, crouching down to look you in the eye and telling you that you can’t leave the hotel room unless he comes to get you or you are going to his room and nowhere else. Normally it would just be words but you are bound to Lucifer now and even you don’t want to you will have no choice but to obey him. You stiffen, nodding your head slightly but still you don’t say a word, not even when he bids you good night. He doesn’t even get the door half way closed before he hears you start to cry. He wants to go back, to take you in his arms and apologise for what has been done to you whilst reassuring you that life here will not be as bad as you think. He doesn’t though, wanting to give you time to greave and mourn the loss of your life.

He doesn’t even make it two steps down the corridor before it all really hits him and Lucifer crumbles, sinking to the floor and pressing his hand against his mouth in an attempt to muffle his own sobs. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do, or how he’s even meant to care for you correctly. Animals were easy, simple to please, humans not so much. Plus Lucifer owned you, he would have to be extremely carful of what he said because even an offhanded comment would be taken as a command and you could end up getting seriously hurt.

It’s too much, Lucifer not equipped to deal with such responsibility but he has no choice, he has to. This is all his fault after all and he couldn’t abandon you in your hour of need. No he would figure this all out, tend to your wounds and help you adjust to life here in hell. He would help you find a place to call home, maybe at the hotel helping with the sinners or maybe something down in one of the other rings. Just somewhere you could feel truly safe and at ease. Whatever you wanted Lucifer would make it yours, giving you as much a slice of paradise as he can. How else would he atone for his mistake?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar #reader insert #gender neutral reader #gn reader

[gffa]

I saw your post defending the way Jedi adopt the children/accept them into their culture, and I absolutely loved it! It was so well-informed, and you are right: It is all there in the original content!

I find it very ironic that many people spew these lies about the Jedi when that’s exactly what the Empire did. Iirc, this argument of Jedi being “kidnappers” was actually fueled by Emperor Palpatine and the Empire in their campaign against the Jedi. They wanted to discredit them and make the people turn against them so that they could erase them all more easily. So I find it very ironic that these lies are now being upheld by some people as the truth. (Really, have people forgotten the Empire was created bases on the Nazi’s and their own racist strategies?)

You are not inmune to the Empire’s propaganda.

Please correct me if I’m wrong. I’m not as good at pulling examples and proof from all the SW content as you are.

Hi! Thank you for the very sweet ask! Navigating stuff in fandom like this can be difficult at times, because there has to be room for compassion and tolerance for disagreement, like it's fine if people disagree with my views, I'm not your mom, I'm not telling you want to do or say, especially since this is fiction, these are made up space stories. But there also has to be room to understand that sometimes our commentary on fictional stories are echoes of reflection of real world attitudes--we can't just go around spewing racist, sexist, homophobic commentary and be like, "It's just fiction, you can't get upset!" There's no easy line for any of this, no single hard set in stone rule for when it's truly just fiction and when it's an echo of a real world attitude, especially in Star Wars, which often draws influence from a lot of non-Western sources and traditional Western sources. (My general rule of thumb is: I think it's fair to criticize those things through the influences they have, but if your criticism is then ended with, "So that's why we shouldn't have or acknowledge any Buddhism/Black people/queer people/women in Star Wars!" then fuck right on off with that.) And I also understand a lot of the anti-Jedi attitudes (or at least what I've personally experienced of them) because I've talked a bunch of times about how I started out as pretty Jedi-critical myself! I did the whole, "They had grown stagnant and refused to evolve with the galaxy, so they needed to be wiped out." thing because nobody had framed it explicitly as what it was: a genocide. It wasn't until a friend and I were talking and they mentioned that lens of it that it just sort of crashed down on me, oh, that's literally what it was and genocide is never justifiable. I did the whole, "The Jedi failed Anakin and taught him to repress his emotions." thing as well, because I saw it all over the place in fandom and just automatically folded it into my view, until I went back and actually watched Lucas' movies and Lucas' animation (first six movies + first six seasons of TCW) and read his interviews, which blew me onto my ass when I saw Obi-Wan being supportive of Anakin, when I saw Anakin not listening to the advice he was given, when I saw that Jedi were expressing emotion all over the place, when I saw they were respecting other Force traditions in the galaxy. I can't speak to why so many people think badly of the Jedi, there's probably a thousand reasons and I'm only vaguely aware of like half of them, but I do think that it's often unpopular to promote the idea of emotional regulation already being achieved, instead of something to be struggled with. I think we're all primed by a lot of mainstream media saying that an explosion of anger is what will save the day. I think there's so much anger in the world today that we're all angry and being told to let go of it feels really insulting at times. (But, as someone who has lost years of my life when I was younger to anger, I gotta say, I am so much better off having let go of as much of that shit as I can. It was poison in my veins, carrying that anger around. I lost so many friendships and opportunities and just time to being miserably mad about stuff.)

I'm getting off topic of the kidnapping aspect about the Jedi, but a lot of it starts to swirl together in what I've experienced (especially people who try to put this stuff on my posts--thankfully, that's died down/I block the people who won't respect boundaries) and so I kind of bounce from one aspect of it to another.

I do think it's good to talk about these things--both from "it's fun to analyze the content of the story on a meta level" perspective and "here's how this echoes into and from the real world" perspective, like I enjoy saying, okay, here's what's actually said in the movies/TCW, but also I think talking about how the Jedi are Buddhist influenced is important because that means they're going to have values that are meant to be reflected in that and Western fandom has a really big problem of being derisive about non-Western influences or automatically saying they're wrong. (I come from anime/manga fandoms, let me tell you, it's a big problem.)

And, yeah, in a way where it's really awful, but I think one of the most well-done things Disney's Star Wars has done is that it's really focused on showing that the Empire was a fascist one and the propaganda they used about the Jedi are ones that are super relevant to the conversation.

#lumi.txt #star wars #jedi order

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

As someone with high-functioning autism and significant social anxiety, which can cause times where social cues are particularly difficult to pick up on especially when it's over a text format where it's even harder to discern tone and inflection without blatant indicators, there's a part of me that doesn't really get all the complaints I've seen about a lack of communication when it comes to "plotting". I mean, I can understand the perspective that it can come across as a partner being unenthusiastic whenever they're given ideas but don't really try to hash those ideas out themselves. On the other hand, it's also possible those same partners could really just be fine with the ideas they're being given and don't really have anything to contribute, maybe they'd rather get right into writing the thread out instead of just shooting ideas back and forth? I know that's usually what I'm thinking most of the time. A good part of the reason why someone like myself would be a little disinclined towards sharing much in return is also because I'd be afraid of taking one too many liberties with someone else's ideas or maybe crossing a line with anything I might contribute. I'm sure we can all agree how quick to take offense people on here can be and, having been on both sides of the fence on this, it can be upsetting both when someone wildly misconstrues things about your muse's characterizations and headcanons just to fit whatever idea they might have in mind, and when having to correct those misconceptions or explain why certain ideas wouldn't work very well. It just creates disappointment all around, and when people aren't willing to talk out any disagreements like adults, all it does it shut down the plotting just the same as giving canned answers. It's also worth considering that some people may be geared creatively different. It can be difficult sometimes to come up with something when you may not know another person's character, or their own particular brand of characterization, very well, and sometimes the ideas just don't come to all of us unless we've really gotten a feel for another person's character and we can see the potential for things. Some people may just be wired more towards improvisational writing at that and really don't start fleshing things out until they have a premise in their hands, coming up with possibilities and exploring them during the actual interactions. Not to mention there's also roleplayers out there who do nothing but plot, and when it comes time to actually write the thread, they simply just don't want to bother with it because… Well, you already know how the story's going to go at this point because you talked it over. Why bother actually having back and forth replies about it when you pretty much wrote the story already by plotting? I've had that experience plenty of times with others myself. You spend all this time laying the framework for where the interactions will go and then nothing just gets done with it beyond the planning phase because, hey, you already talked about everything by now. I just hope that by pointing these things out that everyone might realize they shouldn't generalize partners who may not communicate as much during the "plotting" phase and are just straight to the point, give short affirmative answers when offered ideas. I think the only fair way you can tell if someone really is just putting all the work off on others to come up with ideas is if you can see them repeatedly doing this, especially if they never act on it. That right there would be the surest sign of someone being disinterested or just lazy. Then again, there could also be reasons for this as well, like maybe your characters just don't really have any sort of chemistry for any kind of meaningful interaction – and that's okay too. No two people are always going to get along or want to have anything to do with each other, and sometimes it takes some attempt at communicating to figure that much out.

#communication #confessions

[cinnamon-guardian]

Twiyor Thoughts!! (Spoilers for SPY X FAMILY Mission 80)

This chapter really got the ball rolling for the next prominent arc, but I wanted to dive into Loid and Yor’s subplot and give my two cents on it because I’m absolutely loving the direction this is going in!

On the one hand, it’s very cute that Yor has to basically make up a gripe about not having gripes to meet her coworkers’ standards of “normal,” all because Loid is A+ Gourmet Husband Material™. He’s so thoughtful and understanding that she thinks she has to make up a reason to be upset with him to pass as normal.

On the other hand, it’s 100% natural to end up having disagreements and get on each other’s nerves from time to time. We obviously see Loid and Yor through the lens of romance, but living in the same space as someone else is inevitably going to lead to grievances big and small. That applies whether you’re living with your partner, your relative, your best friend, anybody!

So having a minor spat over basically nothing now might actually be good for them! Yor needs to feel self-assured enough to speak her mind when she doesn’t agree with something, and Loid needs to be able to hear her criticisms without instantly catastrophizing and assuming that Yor wants to leave him every time she’s even vaguely upset.

I think if these two sat down and fessed up to each other how much they don’t want to lose each other this arrangement, then they would realize that not every single problem in their relationship is an omen of the apocalypse. These two have zero sense of normal and it shows, but at the end of the day, they’re kindred spirits no matter how this subplot shakes out. Most of us want them to start smooching already, but even just as friends or teammates, they work together really well. They understand each other more than they know. So if they hit a bump in the road now and realize that it’s just a bump and not a giant, marriage-destroying chasm of doom, they will be an even stronger unit than they were before.

Plus, I mean, the last time their relationship suffered any turbulence was because of Fiona and her BS, and that led to some of the best Twiyor moments to date, so I think we’re in for a feast in this arc, folks. I’m really excited to see how this all ends up working out. The last time I made any hard predictions, they were dead wrong, but I’m open to all sorts of possibilities for how this subplot could work out by the end of the arc (if it even ends there and doesn’t just keep going in the background for a long time).

Bonus opinion: Yor needs better friends yesterday. Sharon is like the only one who kinda takes up for her, the other two still scrutinize her like crazy. And her only alternative is… Melinda… oof.

#twiyor #spy x family #yor forger #loid forger #sxf #yor briar #spyxfamily #yor briar forger #loid x yor #agent twilight #thorn princess #loidyor #spy x family manga #spy x family spoilers #sxf manga #spy x family manga spoilers #sxf manga spoilers #spy x family chapter 80 #sxf chapter 80 #spy x family manga chapter 80 #sxf manga chapter 80 #spy family

[flowering-thought]

hi hi!!

its star ⭐️ anon again!

thank you for responding to my previous ask!

please may i get headcanons for how your ocs handle arguments/disagreements with their partner?

thank you!!

ily ♡

- star anon ⭐️

Hii! Sorry for getting to your ask pretty late ⭐️ anon! But I gotchu <3

Hopefully there are no spelling errors and stuff-

Not edited

WARNING - MINORS DNI

AFAB reader and reader is described as feminine and chubby/plus sized.

Yandere themes

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Daisuke Kawahara

Argument Headcannons

• The rare times Daisuke gets into an argument or disagreement with you is when it comes to your friends and going to visit your home.

• He understands you are a foreign student and that at some point you'd want to visit home but occasionally he worries. He's afraid they'll say something to make you stay or that something would happen to you while you're gone.

• He tries his best to convince you to let him go with you or that he could also take a break to see what your home is like. And if you disagree by saying you don't want him to waste money and that he's never been out of the country before he'll say he doesn't mind and they he wants to make a good impression.

• As for your friends, he just doesn't always like them. As some of them run him the wrong way and he has this ideal of who deserves to be a friend of yours and who doesn't.

• And if you get into an argument with a friend he will quickly find a way to say why you should maybe distance from them.

• And depending on how he phrases it, it could become a disagreement but he always ends them with how much he worries about you and your happiness.

• Overall he's easy to apologize if he's really upset you. He always tries to put your feelings first but occasionally if you were to get really upset at him he may cry.

• Pick your arguments with him carefully cause as sensitive as he is, he will try to manipulate the situation if things get out of hand.

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Rowan Clarke

Argument Headcannons

• For Rowan when it comes to arguments and disagreements he's very wary.

• He can be hot-headed and stubborn but he never raises his voice or cusses during any sort of disagreement. He may get silent or clench his fist but he usually tries to talk things out.

• if he gets too upset he'll say "Okay let me just go wrap my head around this, it's too much" and head out to the barn or just somewhere he can cool off alone.

• If he ever makes you cry he panics and apologizes. He will say you and him can talk it out later and that in the moment he's sorry and doesn't want to continue if it really upsets you.

• He doesn't cry during arguments and such but he does get frustrated especially if it feels like you aren't listening to him.

• If he gets too frustrated he'll stop talking. He hates feeling small and unheard and when that happens he just shuts down.

• But it always ends with an apology. He apologizes if he was wrong or if he felt he went too far. And usually does it anyway just for the fact that it happened.

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Celtia Delphina Irene Nephyis

Argument Headcannons

• Irene is honestly someone that's too stubborn to back down. She doesn't yell but she will try to continue to refute by circling back around.

• She's strong-willed and if she feels you're wrong on something she will argue back.

• But the moment you cry she backs off. She'll stop and try to come to a conclusion you two can both accept.

• But if you argue back even harder than she is? She'll actually look at it from your point of view and see what you're meaning by something you are saying.

• She's an Empress so she's bound to be far too stubborn to argue with.

• it's honestly best to avoid arguments with her as she tends to get far too heated and upset if she thinks you may be "defying" her.

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Mila Allen

Argument Headcannons

• When Mila gets into an argument she looks at it more logically and if it's something she doesn't find worth arguing over she tries to end it fast.

• But if it's something that is serious she tries to listen but also point out her pov on the situation.

• She hates to upset you so she tries to keep everything calm and if it's something she can fix she'll fix it immediately.

• But if you say something that upsets her she may actually cry. And she gets more frustrated when she cries so she may just want to end the discussion completely.

• But she comprises easily and tries her best to not get too overwhelmed or get you too upset over something.

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Takeo Kawahara

Argument Headcannons

• Takeo is surprisingly calm. He listens to your side and then says his thoughts. He usually wants to compromise as best he can.

• It's rare if he really presses on something and if he does he gets a little heated but not much.

• And if you get really upset over something he tries to just listen instead of argue with you.

• And if he's the one that gets upset he usually goes outside to smoke. Sometimes it just takes too much out of him to argue or disagree. He doesn't like getting upset at you or with you so he just needs to cool down sometimes.

• He never raises his voice though. Sometimes he may interrupt what you're saying but immediately apologizes when he realizes it.

• Overall he tries hard to keep arguments and such calm and on rare occasions they turn a bit heated.

#.daisuke_kawahara_♡ #.rowan_clarke_♡ #.irene_nephyis_♡ #.mila_allen_♡ #.takeo_kawahara_♡ #soft yandere #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere hcs #yandere male #yandere male x reader #yandere female #yandere female x reader #chubby reader

[theabominable]

Hello, this I don't think is very triggering? But it has some doubting self worth. Could I request Levi x reader where while playing games with him, and reader just randomly asks why he gets so upset at them sometimes? Like they don't sound offended or angry, but there's pain in there voice. And they ask if Levi ever actually liked them at all? (If this doesn't make any sense I'm sorry)

"come on, come back and revive me!" you yell at leviathan, your hands glued to the controller.

"okay, fine!" he yells back, his avatar running back to your fallen one.

you both fall into silence again as you concentrate on the game. it's nighttime at the devildom, and you're sitting beside your boyfriend, levi on a couch, playing some random game like you always do. your relationship is pure and new, there are a few problems here and there, but you've always been willing to work on them just because of how much you like levi.

yet there's something on your mind about a disagreement last night that you can't stop taking over your thoughts.

"hey, levi."

"yeah?"

"why do you get so upset with me sometimes?" you blurt out.

there's not a hint of anger or sadness in your tone, but the complete lack of emotion makes levi loose all focus on the game as he turns his head to you.

"h-huh? where did that come from?"

"i don't know. i was just wondering. do you actually like me at all?" you say, eyes still focused on the screen.

"what? of course i like you? i wouldn't be d-dating you if i didn't?"

but his answer doesn't really satisfy you enough, because you already know he's just going to be randomly upset again and won't communicate with you about it. you sigh and begin to get up.

"y'know, i think i'm just gonna go now, m' pretty tired."

levi's dumbfounded as he watches you, but he catches your hand before you slip away - but immediately blushes afterwards.

"h-hey! please don't go, let's talk about this!"

"i've been trying to talk to you about this for weeks now, levi, but you never want to."

"what do you mean?"

blinking back tears you sit back next to him and try and hide your hurt. you've tried so hard with him but you're not sure if he's even trying too anymore.

"i just.. i feel like you're upset with me all the time and when i wanna talk about it, you just shut up completely and won't talk," you begin.

levi's heart sinks. he really thought everything was going well so far, but he didn't know you felt like this.

"and..i'm meant to be your partner but i feel like you're putting a wall between us when you don't communicate."

but he really didn't mean to. in a moment full of regret, levi reaches out and takes your hand in his and gently strokes it, trying to offer some sort of comfort as your tears fall out. you're taken aback, because he's never been the one to initiate contact like this, but you don't retract your hand.

"listen.. y/n.. i'm sorry. i know it doesn't seem this way but i'm trying really hard because i really, really like you," he's furiously blushing as he said these words but tries his best to maintain eye contact.

"..and i know i really don't deserve someone as special as you but i'm going to try my best for you, o-okay? i promise i'm going to communicate from now on. promise." he shakily says, still stroking your hand.

your tears have stopped and your warm smile is slowly being brought back to your face, because you can hear how genuine he is as he says those words.

"a-and i promise to be the best b-boyfriend you're ever gonna have, got it?"

you both immediately cringe at his words but that doesn't stop you from suddenly latching yourself onto him, hugging him tight.

"w-woah! atleast give me a warning!" he yells but sheepishly hugs you back.

"sorry, i just love you so much."

"i..love you too."

you pull apart from him and flush a little before saying,

"levi.. can i sleep with you tonight?"

"h-huh? what??" he yells, and you swear he's just woken up the whole house.

"not like that!" you laugh, "can i just sleep in your room?"

"o-oh..yeah."

levi scolds himself for ever thinking that way, but forgets about it all once you're curled up on top of him in his bathtub under various duvets and blankets asleep, so warm and soft, and the only thing he thinks before he drifts off to sleep is how lucky he is to score someone like you.

a/n: pov levi learns communication is a great thing

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me shall we date #om x reader #obey me leviathan #obey me x reader #obey me angst #obey me fluff #leviathan #leviathan x reader #levi x reader #leviathan angst #leviathan fluff #leviathan imagine #om leviathan

[c-is-for-circinate]

Post-ep c3e25

It's so great getting back to the Bells Hells! (This is not a knock on any of the wonderful things we've seen over the past month, but oh man I'd forgotten how much I missed these losers.)

Thoughts:

--Fearne's parents! Oh shit!!!

--No really, oh shit, because this is Fearne's quest. This is Fearne's quest and she's getting it answered in episode fucking 25 and that is absolutely impossible unless it's about to go south for her in a complicated fashion. (God, how much does 'my grandma told me that they had to leave because they were doing Something Very Important' sound like a little girl very seriously and sincerely explaining about the farm upstate that her parents told her about where the old dogs live? How much does it sound like a line? How much does it sound like Ashley knows or at least suspects it's a line, and Fearne has no idea?)

--(What I'm saying is, did Fearne's parents fuck off because fae have no sense of time and they specifically had no sense of commitment, and they're delighted to hear that Fearne exists now that they're hearing from her but they'd otherwise sort of forgotten about her for a hundred years while grandmama told fairy stories? Because that feels like the next step.)

--Side thought: obviously D&D characters so rarely have living parents, but between Fearne and Imogen we've got a trend of missing parents who left for unknown reasons that may or may not have been good at the time and then stayed mysteriously gone. It doesn't seem like anyone else falls into that category in the party so far? But it's a cool parallel that I'll be keeping an eye on as we find out more about the Calloways OR Imogen's mom.

--Ok yep time to have feelings about Imogen and Laudna and their beautiful mess, let's gooooo

--It's such a perfect storm of conflicting personal issues, is the thing, and it's not even JUST Imogen and Laudna, it's both of them spiraling out through who did they actually pick to talk to and how are they writing their own narrative about this disagreement in ways that keep folding back on themselves, right, because

--The actual reality of the situation is that Laudna felt a protective and inquisitive urge which seemed natural and normal to her, chose to give into it without further interrogating where that impulse came from, and then experienced a loss of bodily autonomy which led to something very important to Imogen getting broken. Since I have less than no desire for fandom's umpteenth round of Who's In The Wrong (and fuck Bowlgate), I'm much less interested in making declarations about how the argument Should Be Framed, and rather more interested in looking at how it is framed, and what that means for the characters involved. Because right now, both Imogen and Laudna are framing it as Laudna's fault, and nobody around them is actually questioning that, and that is not the only way this could have gone. And that's interesting.

--For Laudna, it makes perfect sense. She feels responsible, because Delilah Briarwood is an abuser who makes her bad shit somebody else's fault and Delilah Briarwood's been living in Laudna's head for decades. She feels responsible because Imogen is upset with her, and Imogen is the one person in Laudna's life, up until very recently, who believed anything good about her ever. Laudna is a people-pleaser, and we're starting to see some of the complicated ways that interacts with her whole everything, because it's not just that she's cheerfully oblivious to how people are afraid of her. It's that, with a few people -- with Imogen especially! -- on her side, she is cheerful enough by nature and by self-preserving design that she doesn't worry about the rest of the world. But that means that so much of her self-worth rests on Imogen's shoulders, and now that that relationship's been challenged, Laudna takes all of that blame onto herself.

--And it makes so much sense for Imogen, too, who's going through a whole slew of things that are and aren't about Laudna at all. She's cracking under ten kinds of pressure, and she was doing so well before this incident. Tonight we saw her not just mad at Laudna, but defensive as well as jealous. She said herself that she's not ready yet to admit that maybe it's good that the rock broke. She's also not ready to admit that maybe holding Laudna fully responsible for everything Delilah Briarwood does through her is a little unfair, or to deal with the thought that Laudna also suffered a violation and a loss in that moment. Which, good on Imogen for knowing what she isn't ready to deal with! Imogen has so much shit going on right now! Sleeplessness and tension and stress and also that damn rock all pushed her together towards cruelty, which because she's a decent person added layers of guilt, which added to the stress, which just keeps pushing and compiling. She wrecked the competing mercenaries in the museum and loved her horse and was full of compassion for a massive desert octopus. She'd rather talk to a massive desert octopus or cross half a city and buy a ring by herself without the rest of her party because she can't always handle being at the center of their mess. She is still having horrifying nightmares of her own death! She still doesn't know what's wrong with her! Being Imogen presumably really sucks right now, in that depressive episode way where she's protectively self-isolating and doesn't necessarily have the energy at hand to be fair about other points of view and other people's pain, because she's too swamped with her own. So yeah, defensively blaming it on Laudna, even as she admits that maybe losing the rock wasn't all bad, even as she stews in jealousy because she wants Laudna back so desperately -- of course it makes sense.

--But! Orym and Ashton and FCG! Their reactions are really meaningful too, and like all good reactions, say way more about the characters having them than about the situation at hand!

--FCG is Being Helpful, but tonight I think I really put my finger on something essential to him, which is that FCG does not understand the concept of an unreliable narrator. He is immediately 100% on board with helping and supporting Laudna. He also doesn't for one second question Laudna's assertion that she fucked up, that she's entirely at fault. In the words of some recent 4-Sided Dive or another, it's the undergrad freshmen psych major response; he takes Laudna entirely at her word, because he doesn't really understand the idea that somebody could absolutely be sure they're telling the truth about themself and their own experiences, and still be wrong. He doesn't have the context to ask the questions about, 'hey, why might Laudna be predisposed to take on more guilt and responsibility for things than is entirely her share?' He's aware enough to know that whatever is going on, it's going to have to be Laudna and Imogen who handle it, but he wants to fix things, and Laudna has offered him something to fix: she fucked up, she broke things, and now she wants to apologize.

--Orym is actively being a good friend here, which is great. He notices that Imogen and Laudna are off, and he asks Imogen about it. He notably doesn't try to fix things, but willingly listens, and encourages Imogen to let it out as she needs to. He assigns no blame, on either side, while making it clear that he's there to support Imogen as her friend. The fact that he doesn't take the opportunity to go, "hey, maybe Laudna didn't actually do what you think she did!" is the completely reasonable and correct choice. Orym isn't here to Fix This Relationship, he's here to support Imogen who is, again, having a godawful time of things right now and currently doesn't even have Laudna's support in it all. He's not taking sides in an argument, but he is firmly situating himself in Imogen's corner, as a person she can rely on, when she feels she has far too few of those in the world.

(--And there's something to it, the dynamic where your own mental health issues are such a mess that, when something goes wrong with your oldest/closest friend, you turn to a new friend instead because that relationship is too new to have all that impossible weight, because you haven't fucked that one up yet, because it's still shiny and not full of flaws yet, and maybe you'll do better this time, maybe you'll get luckier. It's a complicated sort of emotional moment, and very real, and that's without even glancing at the oblique tangle of romantic undertones that may or may not exist.)

--And Ashton! Ashton who's checking in partially because, for all he scoffed at it, he's honestly been working really hard at the whole I Guess I'm Sort Of A Leader Now thing, if only because he's the crew's local guide while they're in Basuras. There's a weird interpersonal thing! He should check in! And then of course Laudna collapses into sobs, which is very much not what he was expecting and oh boy now he's in way over his head whoops. Ashton also doesn't really question the way Laudna's presenting the situation, aside from the incredibly pertinent, "Does she know it was an accident?", and what's interesting is he does it for almost the opposite reasons as FCG. FCG doesn't ask because he assumes Laudna's relaying things accurately and he thinks he can help fix it. Ashton doesn't ask because he's real clear on, oh boy, Laudna is not particularly coherent on anything right now, she is probably not thinking at all straight, and I 100% cannot fix this so I do not even want to touch it. Laudna is, Ashton will maintain, a grown-ass adult, albeit a somewhat dead one. If she's claiming responsibility for a fuckup, he's not going to argue with her about it. He's not her therapist. He pushes back against some of her wilder self-flagellating plans, and tries to nudge towards a more situation-appropriate apology that actually addresses what she did wrong -- and maybe there's some subtle hinting in there about, hey, Laudna, pay attention to the reality of what you actually did wrong. He lets himself be used as a handkerchief for goo. In a lot of ways, he's doing the same thing Orym did, being a support post and a listening ear for a friend who needs one, without trying to pry or fix; it's just a somewhat wetter job from this side. Honestly, I think watching the Laudna-Ashton interaction was my favorite conversation of all three, because Ashton is so clearly still walking the line where he tells himself that, no, of course he doesn't love these people, are you an idiot? They're his coworkers and maybe, sigh, friends or something, he guesses. But meanwhile he's letting a zombie lady ooze black tears all over his shirt and telling her it's fine and not even getting annoyed about things, and being nice about it all, because what, is he going to be mean? THAT'S not very punk. But Ashton doesn't push too hard against the 'it's all Laudna's fault' narrative because that's not who he is either. It doesn't seem at all like a useful argument to have, and also they've got to deal with an armed military fort and a missing quokka and seriously he was just trying to make thirty seconds of conversation how did he end up in this mess.

--It's going to be SO INTERESTING to see where it all goes, and I love the impact Dusk is adding to the story! I love that Laudna is so bereft over Imogen that she hasn't even noticed them outside of group shenanigans, while Dusk is completely into her and Imogen is fuming. I love the way the party split worked out for the stakeout. I love the fact that they're clearly both hurting badly and want to have each other's support again so clearly. They both have regrets. I appreciate that.

--Nothing big on the shenanigans portion of tonight, although it was extensive and glorious (oh my GOD the Taste of Tal'dorei afternoon lunch theater). I missed these kids and their wacky antics during the grimdark pain of EXU Calamity. I'm so glad to be back.

And lastly:

--Every time somebody mentions Imahara Joe, the tinker and mechanic, my heart cracks absolutely in half, because you will never convince me this NPC we haven't met yet isn't named after Grant Imahara and that's beautiful and also I thought I was done being sad about that two years ago but nope, guess I've still got some sad left.

#cr spoilers #critical roll #c3e25 #post-ep

[dirtytransmasc]

Hi!!!!

Do you have any hcs for how Alicole would try and solve and argument with the kids? Like, their dynamic (especially Aegon with Alicole cause he’s the oldest) is just so interesting and I’ve always wondered how an argument/disagreement would play out with them

ooh, tasty concept.

with arguments amongst the children, they try and get them to take a step back. they'll each take a kid (or two if it involves all of them) and give them a hug or something of the like, easing the tensions, before helping them come to some sort of compromise or agreement.

when it comes to non petty arguments that every child has, the source of issues amongst the kids is the following;

with Aegon they have to settle his need to compensate for feeling as though he is lacking. he tends to pick on his siblings when he's feeling down on himself. so it's a lot of affirming words and hugs while also chiding his cruel behavior. he's definitely hard on himself about being cruel as well, he doesn't like being mean it just sorta comes out of him when he's not in good spirits about himself. he shoves his siblings away over little things when he's upset which only makes him feel worse in the long run. the whole situation makes it hard to parent, as it's not right how he treats his siblings at times, but it's also awful how he feels and how it presents itself. there's typically long talks after the fact. Aegon's usually in his dad's arms, more often than not, while he mom comforts him.

with Aemond it's cooling his temper and frustration, deep breaths and grounding. they remind him that he can't let every jab get a rise out of him, that he always had them to turn to when he needs help, that he's not alone to handle his anger. they try and learn more and more each time, what triggers his anger, what helps him calm down, what to avoid, etc. sometimes he needs to just be held other times he needs a moment alone to breathe. they also try and help him learn how to self regulate and also make his siblings aware that he's getting upset prior to him lashing out (they also talk to them about it).

with Helaena, arguments tend to be because she thinks so differently from her brothers. not only is she a girl in a house of boys, but also because she's autistic (I was the autistic 'sister' in a house of boys for most of my life, it definitely brewed some unique arguments, and I'm gonna project god damn it), their ways of thinking and doing are so different sometimes that she just loses it. so with her, they let her talk, they let her ramble and decompress until she can ground herself, then they have to try and explain the boys point of views, how they see may not be the right way, nor is hers, neither are, but they have to learn to agree. then it's hugs and kisses and talking it out, before they go back to hashing it out with the boys.

Daeron's the most agreeable with the siblings, very adhd coded in my mind (so I'm going to project my brother onto him cause they're very copy pasted in my mind) so when he gets into an argument it's because he's going too fast, too passionate, and/or too much. so again, like most of their children, it's grounding first talking later. like Helaena, they have to explain that the way he is isn't bad or wrong, but that's sometimes we need to slow down, take a breath, cool off, and than continue.

with arguments they take their kids separately, normally separated into different rooms and they visit them together. depending on the exact situation they may just offer hugs and softness, or they'll play a slight game of good cop/bad cop, though they're careful with it. the goal is to solve the problem, not slap a bandaid on it. they tend to each kids needs before handling the actual issue at hand and then being them together to find a solution.

they can both be soft and stern in their own ways. Cole is typically softer on them, as he gets to their levels, takes them close while talking, but he has a stern voice and makes it clear he's willing to put a foot down if need be. while Alicent tends to be a bit more formal and stereotypically authoritative, sitting at the table with them, even if she holds their hands in hers and pulls their chairs close so she can stroke their cheeks.

normally the kids can make right up, or at least come to peaceful terms, but if it doesn't, cause kids can hold grudges like no one's business, Alicent and Cole are forced to remain wholly neutral which is much harder than one would think. most of their fights that lead to grudges are very childish so it's really just waiting for them to crack and realize it was a stupid argument. this is made easier when they don't get involved, so they just laugh amongst themselves where the kids can't see them, and try and keep face in front of them (they can smell weakness and betrayal. send help. a 4 kids household isn't easy). they definitely have moments where they wave the white flag cause one of the kids accused them of siding. the "get along" shirt is also an active and well worn member of the family (Aegon and Aemond share it often)

this video is very much Aegon and Daeron. they feud often. they're either acting like Aegon is a second dad to him, or they are actually going to war and have been sworn enemies for generations, fighting a battle to honor their forefathers (Alicent and Criston are so tired). speaking of Aegon being a second dad, he definitely oversees a lot of arguments between Daeron and his friends... does he understand little kid drama? no. is it entertaining as all hell? you fucking bet, he wants to hear all about what little James did at daycare.

when the kids are arguing with them, which with the way they run the house is pretty rare, but not impossible, they first take a step back for themselves. they will never show anger or cruelty towards their kids, so they make sure they're ok before they even think about talking to their kids.

talking will always be their goal, they never want to use threats or punishments to get what they want from their kids, and they have different ways about it. because their kids know how their household works, that things work on their time, and that just being open and honest, they really just need a day or two to themselves, if the reason for arguing isn't time sensitive, and then they can just take it out.

Aegon is sulky, he just closes himself in his room or flees to a friend's house (which they let happen so long as he leaves a note, leaves his location on his phone, and checks in every few hours) if its really bad. he'll drag himself back to the kitchen table in 48 hours tops, wanting nothing more than for his mom and dad to love him again (they never stopped).

Aemond is just frustrated past reason, so he'll go out and fence with his dummy or just something physical, then he's more willing to listen to reason.

Helaena normally had a boundary or nerve pushed, which was normally accidental, either cause she was already frustrated with something or something changed and it just put both parties in bad positions. space is all she needs.

Daeron is a bit of all the above. he's sensitive, though hard to cross, its often more about other things, something his parent did just broke the camels back, so a long run brings everything back to reason.

Alicent and Criston care so much about their kids, every argument they have with their kids, typically one-sided as they refuse to truly yell, breaks their heart whether or not they did anything or not. they never plan to punish their kids for arguing, they were kids once and they know that its good that they feel safe enough to stand up and fight for what they believe to be true, that they feel safe to shout and disagree with them. they would rather that over anything else, cause they know their kids trust them.

while they aren't permissive with their kids, their are rules and hard limits, they don't count arguing as something to be punished, and their kids don't tend to strand into punishable territories. so resolving a fight is a long talk at the kitchen table, no man's land so to speak, where all parties air their grievances. the problem is discussed, apologies are said on all sides, and sometimes it doesn't always end in a hug, but it does end in feelings being soothed and bridges mended. no one walks away with hard feelings.

they're not perfect, but they make it work, and because they've put so much time and effort into making their home safe and sane, the whole family in therapy, making active efforts to be nothing like their first "home" true arguments are far and few between, and when they happen they're equipped to handle it. Alicent and Cole are such good parents, their kids love and trust them, theirs so much space to talk and negotiate and handle issues early on that there typically isn't any reason to fight. I think that's what makes them such a good family, cause its so hard for me to picture them actually fighting outside of petty things.

#I genuinely cannot picture this family fighting #like petty things between the kids or teenage angst hurled at Alicent and Criston that they laugh about a few hours later most definitely #they wouldn't be a family otherwise #but I think that real arguments are rare and I love that for them #definitely strived to find the balance between gentle and authoritative parenting so their kids are well structured #handle all of their problems when they were little and now most issues are easy #cyclebreakers fr fr #they're also all mommy/daddy's girls and boys #all their fights are just big feelings that need to be rode out #Aegon yelling at Criston cause he's young and dumb and hurting cause he got his heart broken at school or cause he had to think about #dead dumb dad and his teenage heart is angry and he needs to put it somewhere? I think yes. I also think he cried in his arms a few hours #later and begged for his dad to love him again. cause they're hopeless #Helaena losing her mind at her parents cause she's just so stressed and everything'd out by the world and they just happened to breathe the #wrong way at dinner? again. I think yes. and she felt so bad afterward and goes on a whole vent about school and people and does some DPT #after letting them both hug her really tight so she could calm down #Aemond getting frustrated cause they're “babying” him over the loss of his eye and just ending up a sobbing screaming mess cause he's just #so mad at the world and he doesn't know what to do with himself #Daeron's head getting too loud so he gets super upset and disregulated and starts yelling in his room. not even at them directly until they #come in. he just loses his shit for a minute until he's tuckered out and then he's a mess in his parents arms #teenage angst is a bitch and the source of everyone's problems #alicole #alicent hightower #criston cole #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen #daeron targaryen #pro team green #hotd

[mikwaa]

Pairing: Zhonglix f! Reader

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, graphic descriptions of blood and violence, enemies to friends to lovers.

Lenght- 4,724

Here is the masterlist of this series!

❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉

"Are you really going alone?" That was the first thing you asked Xiao as soon as you saw him getting ready to leave.

It was still early in the morning, it was raining and the weather was cold, and yet Xiao decided that he would go.

"We have already talked about this. As I told you, I won't be long."

You huffed, the problem was not whether it would be fast or not, but the fact that he wanted to do it alone.

"You're a real hardhead. But since you won't listen to me, please take care of yourself." You say considerate.

He answered with a whisper.

"I'm serious Xiao." You pull him by the arm.

"I know. Don't worry about me, I'll be more at ease if you tell me you won't be so upset about it." A brief smile draws itself on his face.

"I'm not upset, just worried." You say.

He nods, knowing deep down that there isn't much to be said that could comfort you. On the other hand, you knew that you couldn't stop him even if you wanted to, so the best thing to do was just accept it. You waved to him as he walked away until he disappeared into the early morning hours.

You felt something strange in your chest, anguish perhaps. But after so much time working together, for him to take this action alone was something that made you uneasy.

But as a sort of consolation, Bosacius had gotten much better during the last few days, which was genuinely a surprise to you. He was now able to do small patrols around the inn, and although his memory still failed him sometimes, he tried very hard to understand or remember things. And of course you couldn't be happier about this, after all it was what you had been searching for all these years, and now you are being duly rewarded.

Since Bosacius started taking responsibility for the surroundings of the inn, you have been freer to go to more distant places. Which has actually helped a lot in your search for antidotes. You had already found a new place that you had to keep an eye on constantly, since it was close to the harbor. And of course you also had to keep an eye out for Morax, for sure you would have a major disagreement if he knew.

Actually you chose that place because it was already well developed, which confused you. The place was in great condition, as if someone had just been there. But since you found it, you haven't found anyone in the vicinity of the area.

It was like a big shed, full of equipment and some beings. And the beings that were there were none other than the ruins guards, all deactivated of course. But there was a device that was able to activate them, which again left you disconcerted. You could think of several names of people who might be in this place, but you couldn't think of any that actually made sense.

Besides, it was a more secluded area, meaning that the person who made it knew that it needed to be reserved when making the shed. Because if not, it would be destroyed in the blink of an eye.

However, as soon as you arrived you saw a strange movement, some local guards along with an abnormal flow of people. You remained at a distance watching and trying to figure out what it was all about. You saw some people being taken out of there, they weren't badly hurt, just some bruises.

As soon as everyone had left, you headed into the area. Inside it looked like a storm had passed, everything was messed up, and most of the equipment was broken. It was as if there had been a fight in there. But strangely the ruins guards remained intact.

"So that's you again." The familiar voice echoes through the place.

You turn to face Morax, who had a haunting face. He was never disheveled, or without his gentlemanly manner, and you could hardly notice a hairline that was untidy. But now he was a mess, his hair partially loose, his clothes crumpled, and he was certainly not in the best of moods.

"What do you mean?" You say in a stammering voice.

"Don't try to get smart with me. If you didn't do it, what are you doing here?" He says, stabilizing his posture.

You blinked twice, and repeated the phrase in your head. He couldn't have been thinking that you, of all people, would try anything.

"What are you implying? Don't tell me you're suspicious of me?" You can't deny that you were displeased by the tone he was using, or worse, that he was thinking you were to blame for all this.

"Childe had already told me about your dubious movements, I didn't believe him. But seeing you here in person confirms my assumptions." He says credulously in his speech.

"So you believe that Fatui more than you believe me?" You sounded extremely offended.

"It's not a matter of trust, it's what I just witnessed. Don't tell me you didn't know about this place?" Morax says aggressively.

"Yes, I did, after all, it was I who made it here. But I am not an irresponsible person who let one of the ruins' guards escape." At this point you assumed that this is what had happened.

"Oh no? Then who was it?" He says dismissively.

"I don't know, how would I know? If I knew I would have prevented it." You say in haste.

"Don't try to make a fool out of me. I know you're inconsequential enough to do that. Are you angry because I broke up your little joke?" He had a haughty tone now.

You looked at him sordidly. How much of an imbecile could he be in a split second?

"You're full of yourself, aren't you? What if it was me, huh? What are you going to do?" You say scornfully.

"If no one has set limits on you, I will. Remember your place." He was completely impetuous.

He raises his spear, making it very clear what he wanted.

"Starting a fight Morax? I won't let myself be shaken by you." You also raise your spear and put yourself in a more alert position.

Morax moves towards you quickly, you dodge with ease. You move toward him, causing him to momentarily lose his balance. In that instant, you remembered a 'weak point' he had, acquired in a fight with a very powerful God, centuries ago.

It was on his back, a little near his shoulder, and if you remember correctly besides the scar that was visible until today, if you used a good amount of elemental energy on the area, it would cause Morax to have a kind of shock, and he would be paralyzed for a few seconds. It was more than you needed to excel.

So that's how you did it, it was blunt and fast. You cut a piece of his clothing to have direct contact with the place, and as soon as you put one of your hands on it you used elemental energy to make him lose control of himself. You hastily push him to the ground, and immobilize him. Making him unable to move properly.

You were leaning over him, with your spear pressed against his neck. Your gaze was maleficent, you could end it all right now. You could avenge everything he had done, but no, that was not what you wanted.

You wanted to show that he was not the owner of absolute power, on the contrary. A weak and submissive Archon, who was now at the mercy of a simple servant.

Oh, how merciless.

"You should be ashamed of yourself for surrendering so fast." You say disapprovingly.

"That was a low gesture on your part." He says with baited breath.

You half-clench your eyes, putting more force with your spear on his neck. A drop of blood drips down, and you give a laughing look." I've watched you fight for years, do you really think I wouldn't remember your techniques, master." You say the last word in disgust.

You can feel that he was trying to react, trying to make a pile of stone fall down next to you.

"Don't try. It won't work. In any case, is that the best you can think of?” You say with your libertine tone, an affront.

"You know very well that if I want to finish you off here and now, I can." He says in a snarl.

"Then why don't you? Don't tell me you're sorry, you're really pitiful. Slag." You made a point of speaking your mind, what you kept to yourself for so long.

"What do you want? Do you want to finish me off? Go ahead, vent your boundless rage. Betray your own Archon." He says clearly frustrated.

"You are no longer my Archon, Morax. I've told you that several times, and it looks like I'm going to have to tell you again.” You say, averse to his words.

Quicker than you could realize he reverses things and manages to immobilize you. You can hear the sound your spear makes as it falls to the ground. "And I've said it many times before, don't measure strength with me." And in a hateful way, he was saying it with total conviction. He knew he was stronger, and so do you.

"And? You were just now at the mercy of a simple Yaksha, what a joke, huh?" You say it jokingly, completely reckless.

His gaze narrowed, as he wrinkled his eyebrows. “Even in surrender you don't stop? Frankly, you need a good lecture.”

You laughed, laughing harder than you should. And really, the impetuous Morax who finished off his enemies on the battlefield, now said you needed a lecture?

"I'm not joking." Morax says, and soon you realized that his spear was wedged into your arm.

You swallowed hard, as you looked down at your arm. Morax hadn't lost his brutality yet, he was just hiding it.

"Keep laughing, I want to see if you have the audacity." You hated the way he seemed so untouchable, so fearless.

You gasped faintly, the bastard was pushing even harder against you.

"You can go on for hours, I'm not going to beg you to let me go.” Your stubbornness could be two things, a blessing or a curse.

His golden orbs hovered over your face, as you worried your arm, he analyzed you. It was obvious that his intention was not to kill you, although it didn't seem like it. But he wanted to show that even if you don't admit it, you still have to follow his orders.

He was already thinking of getting rid of you in some way, but what you were doing could not be done by anyone else. And it was an idea that he discarded over time, since you were apparently not causing any kind of trouble.

One of the biggest reasons Morax wanted to send you away was the fear that you would be consumed by karma and lose control, doing something that would compromise everyone. Since he didn't know how aggressive you might get if you contracted the karma, after all, you weren't very formidable normally.

"We can finish this nicely, but you need to leave. Or I'll have to do it myself." He says sincerely.

You look at him and stare, how could he throw all your years of work away like that? For an act that hadn't even been you, besides the coldness and indifference he expressed, he was so detached from you. As if you were worthless.

"You can't, even if you want to. You need me Morax, like it or not, you still need my work." You say dismissively, he couldn't deny that he would be unable to do the things that only you knew how to do. You say this in the hope of changing the topic, or finding a loophole to get out of the situation.

"No one is irreplaceable, not even you. Besides, your work is average, nothing I can't handle." He says smugly, at the same time inanely.

"Oh, yeah? Then why have you kept me here until today? Hm? You know perfectly well that things wouldn't work without me." You say annoyed. Even if you were sure of what you were talking about, Morax's unwavering gaze made you doubt.

"You're right. But I also have a point, no one is irreplaceable. So I could easily put someone else in your place, or I could even take over your post." He says slyly, cunningly, clearly expecting a reaction from you.

"You know better than that, you wouldn't be able to stop the miasmas so easily. Besides, you wouldn't be able to handle divine karma, I bet you would succumb at the first opportunity. Imagine that, you with karma, slowly going crazy. And being left in the corner, you couldn't handle it. You're too weak for that." You say that in a sharp, defiant way. Morax could take many things, but he would never accept being forgotten. Never.

His face softened, giving way to a strange expression. One that even you couldn't tell if it was disappointment, anger, annoyance, or something else.

"You still haven't forgotten that?" He asks.

"Never. I'll never forget the stupid thing you did to us. "You say through clenched teeth.

Surprisingly, he's quiet. And he seemed to ponder, and you would love to know what was going through his mind.

Your vision began to blur, you felt your strength fading. And at the same time you felt so weak, you felt completely stupid for letting yourself be beaten like that.

His eyes widened, and he seemed surprised to see you weakened. He couldn't imagine that with a small portion of his strength he could finish you off, funny, how could he not measure his unstoppable strength?

"Another death in your story, Morax." You struggle to mutter those words.

"I have no claim to that." He says as he rests your body against the rocky wall right behind you.

"Xiao will hate you when he finds out." You say in a sort of squeak.

He sighs, his face taking on a worried expression. As you slowly closed your eyes, in a tenuous way even. You could still feel your body perfectly, but you felt completely unable to make the slightest movement.

Morax slowly pulled his spear from your arm, quickly isolating the area to prevent you from losing too much blood. Which you considered a bit dumb on his part, injuries of this type you can't take the weapon out in an abrupt manner. But of course Morax didn't give a damn about such things.

"You'll be fine. It will just take some time, if you like I can take care of this wound for you." He says calmly, quietly.

What made you wonder, how he could hurt you in such a way and then act like the holiest being in the world?

He was so rough but so gentle at the same time. So smart and so dumb. So friendly but also so treacherous.

"I don't need you." You say snidely, taking the opportunity to stand up since he was no longer pushing you.

You tumbled, and held on to the wall as a way not to fall. Morax promptly gave you support, which you refused as soon as you felt his hands on your body.

"Take it off. I don't need your help now." You say squawking.

"Stop being stubborn, look at the state you're in, you can barely walk." He says apprehensively.

You turn to him, and stare at him. Your eyes expressed as much hatred as possible, while his, in a twisted way, expressed concern.

"Honestly, you hurt me and then you want to help me? Are you crazy or what?" You replied.

"You started it. You know very well what happens to those who break the contract.” He says, crossing his arms.

"You broke it first, not me.” You answer him angrily, and in fact he is the one who came here to threaten you. What did he want? For you to keep quiet?

He opened his mouth to speak, but decided not to complicate the situation any further.

"Every time I see you, you find a different way to prove to me that you are useless." You say smoothly, in a low tone.

"Tell me how, tell me what I did to you that was so bad.” He seemed to have forgotten the fight just now.

When he asks you that, it's not that he doesn't know the answer, it's because he wants to hear it from you.

"You know perfectly well. I always tolerated your spoiled attitude most of the time, but from the moment you hurt my friends' integrity, I stopped. I stopped acting as if you could do anything." You sounded more snarky than you thought.

"You mean karma? The fact that I didn't do anything.” He says, and you can hear a certain guilt in his sentence.

"Yes, not only that, but your posture. You haven't given us anything, not even a lousy helping hand. Even a word of comfort, but you didn't even have the dignity to do that.” You say.

"I didn't know what to do about it, it could be something infectious and could cause a big problem if it was. I decided it was best to leave it alone, we already had too many stigmas at that time.” Morax says.

"What do you mean put it aside? As if we were nothing? What would it have cost you to at least try? Oh, right, I forgot that we weren't really anything.”

"I didn't know...I didn't know, don't you think I was terrified too?" Morax says with teary eyes.

"Well, I didn't think so. You seemed completely confident with every decision you made.” You say between clenched teeth, with every word he said you felt the anger consume you.

"In the midst of so many losses, so many friends from so long ago. Do you really think I'm a complete stone? Do you think I didn't feel for each one that's gone?"

His eyes now no longer had the flashy glint, or the warm look he used to express. He still had that beautiful look in his eyes, but now they expressed pure sadness and melancholy.

"Then why didn't you do anything afterwards? Why didn't you try to help? I asked you over and over again, why didn't you ever answer my call?" The emotion in your voice was pure, and you didn't care if you were showing your fragility to him. It was as if you were hearing the harsh words he said to you at the time.

"I don't know.... I just don't know. Maybe it was fear of making the situation worse? I didn't know how to react, or what to do." His guilt was clear, followed by endless remorse. "I hesitated. I didn't know what to do, how to act. What could I say, what could I do? I don't know, I felt bewildered in the middle of so much chaos."  He said ruefully.

"Running away is never the option-" You are interrupted.

"It's cowardice." Morax completes the sentence his own proclaimed.

You felt a warm tear gently run down your cheek. Morax silently watched the fall of your tear.Even if he didn't speak, his gaze conveyed all the emotions he would never be able to put into words.

"You are the worst. I can't do it." You put one of your hands to your mouth to hold back a sob.

The pain in your arm was the least of your worries or hurts, it was the mental strain that was killing you. It was as if you had gone back in time, bringing everything up again.

"I just wanted you to understand my side, and I will understand if you don't agree." Morax says softly, hopeful even.

But of course you wouldn't agree, nor would you be able to understand. You didn't care if you were showing weakness in front of him, although you hated the idea of having someone see you as weak. You just felt that you could give yourself this opportunity to demonstrate some different image of yourself, one that was not the usual executioner.

"I know I won't have your redemption, but at least I would like to be able to enjoy a few brief moments. It is since I have chosen this path for a simpler life, I would like to have friends by my side to share my experiences." He says approaching.

As soon as you look at Morax you can't help but remember a conversation you had a long time ago.

"Morax, I have been looking for you for the last few days. Are you sick or something? We need you in battle.”  You say.

"I have other matters to attend to. In the matter of battles I am sure you can manage." He says stoically, without even looking at you.

"But are you okay or what? What's stopping you from joining us? We're having to deal with a lot of things too, besides, if you would help us, we could save effort for both parties." You let it out, perhaps a bit audacious on your part. Imagine, responding with a certain effrontery to the much feared Morax.

"This is not an exchange of favors. I must remind you who is in command and who obeys here." He says snidely.

This was not able to shake you, on the contrary, you felt completely devalued as soon as you heard the sentence.

"So this is how it works? Because I might as well divert some troops, and make a slight mess of things. What do you think?" You say astutely, if that's the way he wanted it to be, you would follow his game. With a slight deviation, you would follow your own rules.

He lifted his head and gave you a disapproving, even grim look.

"Since when did your tongue get so sharp? Don't tell me you've lost your fear?" He says.

And of course, it was fear that he wanted people to have, not respect. But you had been through so many things, you had been between life and death so many times, so why would he scare you?

The strength and brutality he exuded? Or maybe his rustic manner? These were just some of his defining characteristics, at least the ones most often mentioned about the dreaded Morax.

But frankly, you'd been in battle with worse and darker things, so who would care about going up against an Archon?

"Just an insinuation, hypothetical. But in fact it would be better if you would accompany us, we don't want to have to double up to accomplish things you should be doing." You return the strong, deep tone he used with you.

He looks at you with a mixture of disdain and defiance. And you can see a slight air of sovereignty on his face.

"If that's what you're worried about, I'm already taking steps. But as I have already made clear, you can do this, so don't come here to challenge me. This time I'll let it go, but next time you'll be duly reminded of where you belong." He says menacingly, with great insight.

"You can threaten me all you want, I won't lower my head. I know my place very well, and you should know yours. Next time I'll let the cloud retainer come here, to her you listen." You say it with a wink, bold? Perhaps.

And indeed he listened to her, even more than the other Adepti. Probably because she was hard and rigid with him, unyielding. But she still gave good courses in how things could be done, and given how experienced she was, Morax always listened to her.

"You're not in the place of threatening me, are you?" He answers your provocation.

"I didn't intend to, but I want you to help us. I could have died, I was counting on you in the battle. I was waiting for you, and you didn't show up." You say without expecting him to feel sorry for you, just to make it clear what had happened.

"Your mistake. You should never wait for someone's help on the battlefield, that's a basic rule. I'm surprised you don't understand." He says rudely.

Your blood boiled, how could he be so self-centered?

"And you always say we should work together, are you contradicting yourself now?" You say clearly pissed off.

He snorts, clearly stressed about being contradicted.

"I want you to understand, I do whatever I want and whatever it takes. So don't give me your frivolous demands." He says in a clumsy way of trying to take back the situation for him.

You snorted with laughter, and of course he would do that. He always wanted to be right, always wanted to give orders and not obey them, especially if they came from you.

"Next time, I will report to the other Adepti, and you will get along with them. Since you don't listen to me." You say, turning to leave.

From that day on you became more withdrawn in relation to Morax, because he always seemed to never pay attention to you, for whatever reason. And you had to get his attention in other ways, either by purposely making small mistakes, or by reporting to the other Adepti, and they would try to get a message to Morax.

A silence followed by a calmness formed, you didn't speak, no matter how much you wanted to.

"We'd better be clear, we can't live in this disharmony for the rest of our lives." He sounded sincere, even amidst the hiss in his voice.

"If you help me, I can even think of a minimal coexistence with you. See, I said, think." You say with a low grunt.

"Then let's make a deal, I'll help you with whatever, and you help me in return. Will you accept?" He asks.

You look sideways at him, frowning. It wasn't as if you had much choice. "I just want to make it clear that this is a business relationship, whatever you want to call it. I have no intention of approaching you in a personal way.” You say.

"So that's a yes, we have an agreement?” He says, reaching out to shake your hand.

"We don't have the slightest need for that. Just get right to the point and tell me what you want.” You say it furtively.

"I want you to help a friend of mine, he's very sick, and so far no doctor has figured out what it is." Your face fell, the least you expected was an attitude like that from him.

"That's it? Such ceremony for such a silly thing." You say.

Besides being amazed, you were relieved. After all, he could have been much harsher or ruder in everything he asked.

"It doesn't have to be now, you're in no condition. But let it be soon, I'm afraid he can't take it." Morax says with a sadness.

"Tomorrow or the day after, I have other matters of higher priority. Besides, I need to recover." You say, it wasn't implication, it was just the things you had to do before.

He nods, and you laboriously start to make your way back. Holding on here and there to keep your balance.

"I can help you, don't be so unrepentant.” He says standing by your side.

"I don't need to. I'm fully capable of walking on my own.” You say, and of course you were weak, but never would you have asked for his help.

He sighs heavily, and you tighten your pace to get there faster. As time passed he stopped following you, but you could feel that he was meters away watching you until you reached the inn. And halfway there you thought about Xiao, how he was handling things there. You would a thousand times rather be with him than here.

And even worse, you made a deal that would help Morax. Could it get any worse?

❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉

This fic is also posted on Ao3!

#zhongli x you #zhongli x y/n #zhongli imagines #zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin x you #genshin imagines #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin impact x reader

[queerstrongsad]

teh random lore dump

-i haven't actually got a super clear picture of why & how strongvirus broke up but it was definitely just strong bad getting angry over something stupid and then breaking up with maximum viruses. TLDR; strong bad is a complicated person and sometimes that leads him to sabotage himself. actually all the characters have that don't they-

-max didn't get with strong sad INSTANTLY after that, but they probably started dating in under a year, maybe a few good long months after strongvirus was officially cancelled

-max was very upset and confided in stro-sad, marzipan, and homestar; but strong sad especially. max's logic was that since strong sad is, y'know, sad all the time, that maybe they could help it cope with the omega sadness it was going through?

-and that kind of worked out, a lot more than expected from either of them

-i think they'd had some sort of chemistry for a while now, they were friends before strong bad even THOUGHT about maximum in a mostly-positive context

-maximum really admired strong sad as a person, thinks they're very nice and interesting. really loves stro-sad's passion for his interests, even if they're in strong sad's usual gloomy ways

-strong sad really liked max, it didn't bully him for his likes and dislikes, and when they had their disagreements max was chill about it and didn't let it affect their friendship in a negative way

-when sadvirus got together stro-bad was NOT having any of it. EXTREMELY pissed off that his ex, that he still kinda had feelings for but you didn't hear that from me, and his least favorite brother (honestly least fav person in general) were a thing

bleh okay thats all i can think of rn. also i dont want strong bad to be seen as the antagonist of this au or whatever, he's just him. as per usual. sorry if it's hard to read im kinda sleepy xp !

[tasteofdeathao3]

I feel like stede at least has some rudimentary knowledge about babies due to having kids himself while Ed just. Makes all the beginner mistakes with AB Izzy. Doesn't support the head, forgets to burp him, over or underfeeds, starts changing him without all the supplies nearby and decides rash cream can't be all that important. He isn't doing it out of malice or intended negligence, he just straightup doesn't know how babies work and needs some time to adjust

no bc I have actually thought so long and hard about this and I agree 100%

Stede would at least have some childcare experience (if we're taking canon then there would most likely have been some sort of 'help' but we can sort of ignore that, if it's modern then yeah he probably did look after his children to a degree), but Ed would just be completely lost. Even if Stede doesn't have the most experience he'd have common sense - he'd have seen babies being cared for and no doubt educated himself, but Ed would never have really seen babies being cared for since he didn't have any siblings or extended family (that we know of, of course).

At first he's almost petrified of AB Izzy, hesitant to do more than even look at him, but then after a few weeks once he's willing and wanting to help out he's just- making every mistake.

he's not trying to do things that might harm Izzy; even though he had his disagreements with Izzy, he wouldn't take those out on an unassuming baby.

Stede tries to teach him but he's so stubborn, he insists he can do it right after only being told once, refuses to ask for help because 'taking up other people's time is ridiculous, he'll just cry himself out :-)' (spoiler alert: he won't). Ed refuses to learn but rolls around in his own self pity and hatred whenever Stede, sleep deprived and stressed beyond belief, scolds him for not supporting Izzy's tiny head or feeding him enough that he actually vomits.

Of course then this just makes things worse almost, Stede going from taking care of a brand new infant singlehandedly to taking care of that infant while also trying to teach his husband to do the same thing while he actively refuses to learn. This does upset Ed once he realises Stede is rundown and overworked because of him, and all of a sudden he just can't bring himself to even try caring for Izzy, because it's his fault that Izzy got a rather bad rash, it's him who kept Stede up for half a night because he didn't know that not burping a baby would make them uncomfortable and cranky enough to wail until someone did.

It takes a little while, but he does learn. it's rocky, because the two of them already have a host of issues, but they eventually get a routine under control.

#I can talk about this forever #ofmd #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #our flag means death #ABI

[thetaekookcloset]

there was this time in the v, jungkook, jhope, and jin Vlive where jin says these two just fought and tae says "no we don't fight, we just get into trouble together." Its obviously impossible for them not to fight, but I think their fights are either so insignificant or super personal that they wouldn't want to disclose it on camera. If they "fight" or argue, I'm inclined to believe that they resolve it quickly. There was this fancam of bts in danger era (i wish i had the video but i dont, so i hope u know what im referring to) where jungkook clearly upset tae over something and jungkook really looks upset and tries to make up to him. He ends up going after tae backstage to apologize. (Some say its because jk didnt respect tae as a hyung). Theres another one in DNA era. Theres actually quite a lot of moments like this. My point is there is a reason why taehyung keeps saying they never fight. It could be because he wants people to know him and jk are close or their fights are just really insignificant or they just want to keep their relationship things personal. I’m also inclined to believe their fights aren’t out there? Idk how to describe what i mean, but they look really calm when they get into disagreements. In the same vlive, tae says jungkook doesnt come home after practice and jungkook just pouts (HES SO CUTE WHEN HE POUTS HE LOOKS LIKE A PETULANT CHILD) and tae says “u need to eat” in the sweetest voice ive ever heard. I noticed that tae really observes jungkooks habits and vice versa, thats why hes concerned that he hasnt been eating

Yes, I agree -- this is one of those things that just reads as couple behavior to me.  Any two people who are close are bound to argue sometimes, but the fact that they don’t want anyone thinking that they fight seems pretty telling to me.

I’ve said before that I sort of figure when they say this, they mean that they don’t get into any really big fights, rather than that they never argue at all, but either way they might mean it, it’s interesting that they’re so invested in disavowing the idea that they fight with each other at all.

And I definitely agree too that Taehyung is very engaged with Jungkook’s habits and the like, just as Jungkook is really engaged with certain details about Taehyung.  I’ve noticed that Jungkook is particularly invested in Taehyung’s quality of work, if that makes sense.  Like, he always wants to make sure Tae is doing things right when it comes to dance routines and stuff like that, but he’s also really protective of him when it comes to things like cooking and stuff.

These are just some of those little details and patterns of behavior that set them apart from the dynamics between other members, in my opinion.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and observations!

#ask #taekook

[a-dragons-journal]

I completely understand your reservations about answering that last ask (as of writing, it was the one where annon was upset someone said you could choose kintypes) but I did want to thank you for it. I've been having my own dread trying to figure out my own otherkin identity and what you said did help ease things a little. Still will take time to sort myself out of course, but I think it'll be a little less stressful now.

Yeah, Plan B was to write an anonymized version of it where the exact person the original anon was talking about was censored out for privacy, because frankly it is an important discussion to be having - discussions like that are the fuckin heart of this community! Without them we literally would not exist the way we do today! And it does not need to be a "there's one right answer" sometimes it's just listening to other people's worldviews and points of view on the subject and learning from each other and sometimes we are allowed to come away disagreeing but still having learned things, alright, not every disagreement is a breaking point

idk, if someone asking "We accept all these other origins of kintypes as all being otherkin, what makes this specific one exempt when we really boil it down? And is that truly a worthy distinction or should we deconstruct and remove it?" genuinely sounds the same as someone saying "lol kins are something you can pick up and drop at will and they don't really have any impact on you, stop taking it so seriously" to you, then - in the gentlest way possible, possibly you have gotten burned out and overwhelmed by the community discourse and you need to take a step back for a bit in order to clear your head and hear what people are actually saying properly again. (And like, me too, I been there, I done that, I've also failed to do that and had to put my foot in my mouth afterward which fuckin sucks especially if you've got RSD or anything similar. It happens; people fuck up and/or misunderstand each other, especially on a subject that we're all so chronically burned-out and aggravated about.)

And like - there are definitely times when people say stupid shit that genuinely does deserve a "you have misunderstood the very basics of what you are trying to talk about, try again," don't get me wrong. Y'all've seen my opinions on KFF. But there are also times when people clearly do understand the subject and are challenging some of our typical thoughts around it in a way that might sound superficially similar to the former - and granted the difference between those two things is not always clear, but figuring it out Is Important, especially before you start responding to them. (And again, even if it's the former - going and sending anons to other bloggers in the community basically calling that person out for having a Wrong Opinion is not helping anything (except maybe letting you blow off some steam, but like. that's something to do in private DMs with a trusted friend, not public asks to relatively large blogs), and is relatively likely to do harm.)

idk I'm fuckin tired, tl;dr be rootin' be tootin' and by god be shootin' but most of all be kind to each other alright? benefit of the doubt, never assuming malice where ignorance will suffice, and giving yourself time before acting in anger are good rules of thumb

#if you're the original anon reading this and this comes off as scolding - it is and it's not #i get it man i'm pissed about people collapsing ''kinning'' into a hobby too #i've snapped at/about people when i shouldn't have because of it too #even did it publicly once which is a fun little black mark of shame on my scales #it happens. it couldve been worse. is not end of world #and i mean hells you might end up disagreeing with me on this! and that's up to you #but even if you do i just. ask that you try to consider it before you double down #the doubling down instinct is strong i know it #if you think about it and decide you still disagree with me then that's fine just DO think about it don't reject it on gut emotion #but then i'm not your keeper; in the end it's kinda up to you #i need to stop rambling before i derail philosophic now #the hour is late and my brain cells are few #rani talks #asked and answered #anonymous

[blonkk]

i get so emotionally turbulent in the airport. maybe it’s because i’m always going off 2 hours of sleep and it takes me 2 hours to drive to the airport and i always book 6am flights and i always drink the night before. anyways i read this reddit post where this kids stepdad always financially provides fairly for him and his bio kids but excludes the stepson from special trips etc. he told the stepson it’s bc those are his bio kids and he wants to spend time with them and show them they mean more to him by virtue of being blood etc. he raised the stepson since he was one and shows preferential treatment to his bio kids, one of whom is the stepsons half sister. so the stepson responded by calling him by his first name rather than “dad” and stepdad got upset and hurt…anyways that story made me cry. idk i guess maybe it’s “natural” to other a kid who’s not “yours” biologically but jesus christ. you can’t treat a kid that way, exclude them, let them know they are less loved….irresponsible and cruel imo, no matter how you truly feel….

so there’s that. and then i saw this old dude handing presumably his wife a box of timbits and i got all gushy. and this older couple across from me is so cute the lady is just resting on her man’s chest and he’s just sitting there doing his thang. idk man i’m probably pmsing. i also have been reflecting on my loneliness and it’s imminent return LOL all my friends are leaving where i live soon and i’ll be alone..but i guess that’s my lot in life? that’s the way it is. there’s a lot of people i really love and appreciate even if they’re not the ideal friends/what have you. one being my roommate, a 50yo dude who does nothing but drink beer and smoke weed and talks about missing his daughter who he goes to see like once a year. i don’t agree with that aspect of his life (go see your KID instead of buying a new dirt bike !!) but man i have a lot of affection for him. he’s very generous and caring and kind and he channels his misplaced fatherly energy towards myself and the other younger workers on the mountain. i genuinely get along with him, and when he was with his daughter over the weekend i missed him…like i would get home and be like damn drew’s not here :/ and literally all we do is yap after-work style and sometimes watch shows. but idk he’s my favourite roommate this far which is crazy. idk it’s weird you never know who the people who actually make a difference in your life will be; it would have been so easy to write him off had i not bothered getting to know him. he’s a redneck, a sort of absent dad (he pays child support and knows everything ab her and supports her hobbies . he loves his daughter but. he’s gotta try harder to see her despite her living a few hours away) , he smokes cigs like a fiend, drinks beer like water, he passes out on the couch every single night of his life to dirt bike videos/sasquatch stories/random singing shows, is a typical tradesman. like it would be natural for me to judge his character based on those things. he’s actually one of the people who consistently takes my side when feminism comes up and always tells the other dudes “she’s right” etc. idk i just really am thankful to live somewhere where i’m comfortable with someone lol

& the other people i’ve met within the last year of my life have made me a better person and a happier person. somehow i really recovered a lot in the shithole where i live. dead end job, unfamiliar types of people , weird isolation. a lot of the shame i’ve carried my whole life has dissipated. i’ve been more myself than any other time in my life; and i don’t fear people’s rejection if i say what i truly believe or feel. sometimes there’s disagreements and some arguing, but it never ends badly, and weirdly i know i have peoples respect, even if they don’t agree with me or understand me. that’s what the key is i think — all my life with my family i’ve feared their rejection, their scrutiny, and their wrath. i’ve been scared to lose their love and respect because i was constantly threatened with it, and i experienced it countless times. the things the members of my immediate family have said to me, the things they’ve called me, the ways they’ve rejected me and punished me for being who i am has really damaged me and i always lived with it, bringing it into other relationships and friendships, not understanding that it was impacting literally every aspect of my life; how i interact with people being the main thing. it’s impacted my self esteem to such a degree with i could never make genuine friends and connections because i always went along with what other people said so they wouldn’t punish me. i let people treat me like dogshit because it’s what i was used to and what i thought love/acceptance costed. it even affected how i performed at work and what type of work i’ve tried to succeed at as an adult. it’s why i’m so lost and messed up and rootless. it’s why i have no idea what i want, and why for so many years i had no idea who i was.

for the first time in my life i feel accepted , if not loved. it’s enough to make me extremely emotional. it’s enough to make me happy because i could literally never imagine feeling so safe in my life. i love my parents and family but my god. what they’ve done to me can’t be reversed, though some things are beginning to repair

also i’m listening to the divorced dad playlist on spotify and it’s hitting. live laugh love!!!!

#cob time #excuse the dramatic catharthis

[dieuleveut]

December 7th, 2023

(Obligatory "it's been a while")

I thought I'd jump back in here to get some thoughts out of my head.

So I changed careers and I'm tattooing now. It's been going great, aside from a few disagreements between myself and some coworkers. It's so odd, considering how I've never had disagreements with other coworkers at other jobs before. I'm inclined to assume it's the industry and not entirely my fault?

Anyway, the current disagreement was between myself and Sydney. I felt as though the way she joked tended to get others to target their jokes at me. I felt like the butt of the joke every time, and it was always in a group setting. I'd been bullied before, at school and occasionally at other jobs, and frankly I wasn't a fan of feeling that feeling again. So I told her and she took it in a very personal way, essentially declaring that she didn't want to have anything to do with me at all. I was taken aback, considering that I had added her to a private groupchat with people I thought were "cool" to spread work gossip with. And that she and I had been to the movies together, just the two of us and had a properly good time.

Whatever. At the end of the day, I'm not going to force anyone to get along with me. And I'm not going to let bullying humor continue at a job that I enjoy.

But tonight I found out that Sydney is in another private groupchat with her, Chris, Jenny and Lizzie. Lizzie says it's where they talk about the shady business happenings with Baron. It took a minute, but the more I processed this, the more upset I got. I couldn't really explain it either, other than "huh, that's weird. Why would there be a groupchat like that without me."

So I'm back here, attempting to verbalize and organize my feelings into understandable thoughts and logic.

I always hated being excluded. I think especially by people I consider close to me. Like when Catherine, Dominique and Tina went to Tanner's Orchard without me, and continued to reference that hangout like I was there. Or when Shannon says she meets up with Aaron like once a week. I'm friends with Aaron too, so why not make it a trio hang?

It's perception. Maybe being excluded feels like I'm not important, or I'm not as close to these people as I thought I was. This is something I'm still sort of dealing with--perceiving friendships to be stronger than they actually are. What if I think someone is a close friend, and in actuality, to them, I'm just an acquaintance? That shit hurts.

It's importance. Do you not care if I'm there or not? Do you not care if I have any input on the matter? So then, what am I here for? Why are we friends? If you didn't care to say "hey let's make sure we include Juliet" then how much do I really matter to you?

It's also a bit of . . . everything Sydney says is shit I've already said (when it comes to the illegal/shady business practices of our tattoo shop). But for some reason, when she says it, people listen. That probably is a combination of perception and importance.

It's control. Maybe I want to control who my friends are friends with. I want to control how my friends perceive me. It's not good, but it's the anxiety. I don't want to lose what is good to me.

Logically though, I can't control any of this. I can't control how people perceive me, or how important I am to others, or any of this really. At the end of the day, I know what I know is right. I know that what I'm doing is smart and logical and thought-out. If others don't listen to me or value my opinion, that's on them. Not me, to convince them.

I know that I want out of Baron. I know how to do it. To get around their restrictions, I have to slowly integrate my clientele from the Baron account to my main account. First by posting flash on my main account. Then when I'm ready, transition tattoos over to my main account and start my own studio. I'm not working for anyone else except myself. And frankly, I'm flying under my own radar. If no one values my opinion or thinks I'm smart, they won't see me coming.

I'm plottin' I'm schemin' and no sees it happenin'

--

Re-read some old posts, and I thought it'd be nice to just talk about my day. Minus the emo/sad thoughts. Even if it's menial, it's just nice to talk about my day.

I woke up around 9:30am, feeling super sluggish. Maybe it was the edible from the night before. I saw a text from Lizzie asking if we should visit Max. I ignored it and went back to sleep til about 1pm.

I woke up again feeling guilty having left Lizzie on read (knowing it's something she would be anxious about) so I responded saying that I would be skipping dinner plans and coming over later in the night.

Dragged myself out of bed, made a coffee and finished binging the Inhumans tv show. Review: it was fine, it felt like they were really trying to do some Game of Thrones politics with a royal family of moon-living Inhumans. The characters were so bland and there wasn't really anyone worth cheering for. Overall it felt like a CW show (which is both an insult and a compliment for its entertainment value).

I drew for a bit, finished the Frieren flash that's been sitting in my drafts for weeks. Now I'm gonna finish the Wriothesley flash that's been sitting in my drafts for... weeks.

I moved Quan's tree into the empty space in the living room--I'm SO happy we cleared out all the boxes and random shit from that space. i hate hate hate a home that constantly feels like it's in between "moving in."

Went over to Lizzie's, we chatted a bit about work (hence the anxiety-inducing realization that I do in fact get excluded from chats with people that I do and don't get along with). Brian (her husband) and Damian (their roommate) join us to play Overcooked and Mario Party mini-games. The guys are hilarious to be around, very good jokes overall. Lizzie... I can't say for sure, but I wonder if she gets anxious around them? She's very quiet and not as rambunctious as the other two. I wonder if this is how she usually is with them, or if there's anything I should be doing to help her feel more comfortable.

I'm pretty sure Damian has a crush on me. It sounds so egotistical to say but he's very touchy and is always saying positive things about/to me. Maybe it's just who he is with everyone, but it's a bit off-putting having hung out with him only twice and he's already so affectionate.

Overall a fun night tho! Minus the soul-shattering realization that no one values my opinion, tonight was a fun night :)