#if anyone finds more please tell me bc this was in the drafts but I rewatched the black flash ep for funsies and found the hanami one

[shakingparadigm]

Btw have you listened to any covers by the alstg VA? Do you have any favorites ? Just got reminded bcs omg new akugetsu cover 😮!

SO FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU. it's amazing to get this ask actually because just this morning I was drafting a post about the ALNST VAs and how good they are! They're all so talented, and they fit their roles perfectly. I truly couldn't imagine anyone else playing their roles!

Here's a favorite cover/song of mine from each VA!

(Note: These are all just based on my personal preference, and I haven't gone very deep into each VA's discography yet save for a few. These are just the covers that I listen to most frequently! Please forgive my basic ass taste btw)

Russian Roulette (Red Velvet) by Rubyeye (Mizi's VA)!

I'm gonna be honest, I'm a very simple person. Russian Roulette is just a very cute song! And I think it suits Mizi so well, all bright, bubbly and candy sweet (at least in rhythm)!

I love hearing Rubyeye's voice no matter where it is honestly, she's rather versatile! In ALIEN STAGE, Mizi often sings slower ballads (My Clematis), or in her lower, more mature voice (Ruler of My Heart). She sounds absolutely gorgeous of course, but Rubyeye's voice in more energetic songs is such a joy to hear as well!

My second favorite Rubyeye cover is actually the Mizi version of UTTE! Can you tell that I love hearing Rubyeye's more energetic covers. Can you tell yet. I know it's very unpopular, but I love Mizi UTTE so much. The way that she sings is so incredibly charming to me, she has a lot of spunk in this cover! I love how she sang "ain't nobody but!" I honestly love that lyric more in Mizi's version than I do in the original! It holds a lot of character which I adore.

Catch You Catch Me (Cardcaptor Sakura OP) by C!nah (Sua's VA)!

Once again, I am a simple person. I can't resist a cute and sweet cover.

C!nah's light and angelic voice fits so well into this song! It sounds absolutely lovely. Plus I already loved the song beforehand, so I might be a bit biased lol

C!nah's voice in general is so unique. It has such an clear and airy quality to it! They picked such a perfect voice for Sua.

My second favorite C!nah cover is Sua's version of ROMH! I adore how Sua sings like a whisper. Her voice brings such a haunting feel to the song.

LILAC (IU) City Pop Cover by 6FU;

Being honest, my favorite 6FU; song is actually Drunk and Party.

But if we're talking covers, this one might just be my favorite due to how shocked I was upon listening to it.

Hyuna has a very energetic and rough voice, with such a strong and unique tone. I was expecting it when clicking on this cover, which was why I was pleasantly surprised to hear a much smoother, calmer voice.

And it's beautiful! I haven't listened to much from 6FU; yet, so I might find some new favorites once I do. For now, I'll keep listening to this cover over and over again.

Sweet Dream (Luka Version) by BL8M (Luka's VA)!

OKAY I know this already an Alien Stage song. I don't know if it counts but I'm putting here anyway because GOD.

THE TONE AND TEXTURE OF HIS VOICE. I'M IN AWE.

Was absolutely floored listening to this for the first time. I actually ascended

BL8M is actually one of the songwriters for ALIEN STAGE, and he sang the demo for this song!

You can really hear his expertise. He owns this song.

My "the worst person you know has the voice of an angel" post was literally about this I was going insane

THE WAY HE SANG THE PRECHORUS. THE "save me please" OUHHH...

They couldn't have picked anyone better for Luka. He literally kills every song he sings.

유우리(優里) - 베텔기우스(ベテルギウス) by PARK BYEONG HOON (Ivan's VA)!

PBH's wonderfully rich and deep voice. What a blessing.

I love how soft he sounds in the beginning of most of his covers, slowly growing in intensity until he's fully expressing the song.

The ranges he uses in this cover are so nice to listen to. I love the switching between his deeper lower voice and his soft higher voice.

Thinking about Ivan's voice in CURE and how it's probably going to sound more anguished and desperate than this makes me sick btw.

Anyways please listen to this cover he deserves the support.

Um. My other favorite PBH cover is umm. uh. The short clip of a MANIAC (Stray Kids) cover he posted on Twitter.

GUYS DID YOU FUCKING HEAR THAT ONE. CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT IT??!!! HIS VOICE. THE BASS. FUCK.

I actually went insane. Finally got to hear Ivan's lower, rougher voice and I was shocked to my core. Life changing.

Cistus (KOUSEI) by AKUGETSU (Till's VA)!

HERE WE ARE. MY FAVORITE.

So this technically isn't a cover. It's an original song that AKUGETSU sang vocals for. Sorry. I'm just so obsessed I needed to share it.

IT'S SOOO FUCKING GOOD. SERIOUSLY.

Of all the ALNST VA's I've probably listened to AKUGETSU the most (sorry. Till bias) and this song is still probably one of my absolute favorites from him.

JUST LISTEN TO IT. The guitar in the intro. The quieter vocals in the first verse that build up to a BURST of sound in the chorus. The way he enunciates everything is perfect.

AKUGETSU is such a seasoned singer. He really knows how to work his voice and knock a song out of the park. It's genuinely addicting.

This song is such a fucking banger. Till would sing this. GOD IM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS SONG.

Another absolute banger from AKUGETSU is his cover of I'm Invincible (Ado)! I love the way his voice moves, going high and low in the same line. He's such a dynamic singer.

I adore how AKUGETSU brings an energetic rock vibe to every song he sings. His voice is such a standout.

Sorry for the long ass answer! I love all the ALNST VAs and I really hope they continue to flourish! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about them 🙏

#alnst #alien stage #alien stage vas #alien stage till #alien stage mizi #alien stage sua #alien stage luka #alien stage ivan #alien stage hyuna #asks

[satocidal]

Hewoo :3

Random thought but imagine if during Suguru's spiral his literal ideal type appeared and it makes him feel like she's his spring and he tries so hard to be around her and all of that, especially when the next spring catches them and he catches himself thinking "I shouldn't have caught another spring, yet there I am, aching for her presence"🥺

You can do whatever you wish with this or just ignore it if it doesn't suit you, honestly T-T

I might come with more thoughts bcs I have heavy Suguru brainrot

~🦊

PLEASE do come with more because I love this and support suguru brain rot agenda always.

Tw: mentions of death and I know I haven’t written exactly what was asked💀but it sort of revolves around it but yeah

No because something tells me, his type of woman, that is, his preference is less dependant of physical attributes but more so on the personality. Like don’t get wrong, he does like what he sees, all the damn time too, but that wasn’t what made him fall for you. Geto prefers, in simple words, being the moth to a flame — Masochistic? Maybe, but just something about a love where it can and possibly does harm him initially intrigues him—he is the one of the strongest afterall, however could you hurt him? Oh, but you did—with pretend ignorance and mock obliviousness. I think Suguru prefers a girl who’s different to him—now, perceive this as you please, he could love a feminine person(not to be gender specific here but yk), at the same time, he likes louder ones—confident around everyone else and the ones that turn to a puddle around him. You see, it makes him feel alive. It makes him feel that he made you feel something and to him, is always more than enough. Suguru’s type is a person who’s like the breath of summer and the Night of A Spring.

It shouldn’t have happened, not really, not at all—not then.

Careful; he should’ve been careful, and alert. For now he sat in the corner of the room, in a part he didn’t want to be at—with people he didn’t know, wearing clothes he watched to tear apart and let his body breathe—but all on top of that, stood you.

“Wanna join me in this party tonight?” Glossed lips and bashful grin—it didn’t take much, or any persuasion for that matter for him agree. Now, he wasn’t sure why he agreed, or if he did at all and you just assumed his dazed nod, something very natural he’s gotten along doing you, to be a yes.

So now he sat alone in the corner, eyes drafting to every movement of yours, your hips swung— left, right,left —he’d been observing you for a while now, anyone observing him would deem him a stalker at this point.

“What is your type in women?” The question rang in his mind again—something, weirdly enough that had been bouncing back into his mind every few days—his type? He’d wondered then, not really sure.

But he knew now, one look at you and he knew what his type was. One look at you and your silly graphic t-shirt of some anime and he knew his favourite fandom; one look at your converse and he knew his next expenditure; one look at your hair and he knew his hands were perfect to braid them; one look at you and he knew, he knew, he wanted to wait.

Wait everything out—in midst of all that was happening, in the midst of a tragedy his eyes had spotted you. Trained themselves to even see you as he slept (I mean dream of you, not in a creepy way lol).

To where his mind once questioned his existence, he now lay wondering if you liked poppies better of roses. To where he once questioned running away, he now knew he’d run away to you. He could run away to you.

Suguru used to feel he was nothing but a sad, lonely, tired winter, trudging along until the better Spring came about—until the spring made people forget of him- until the winter was no more.

Wrong.

But then again, could you blame him at all? In those black sweatshirts and black pants he’d assumed he’d find himself dead- in that cold shivering winter he thought he’d end—in that gloom, he thought, he wouldn’t continue any longer, he couldn’t. He didn’t know, right? He didn’t know, didn’t want to know, if he could at all live to see another Spring.

When he saw you, the question wasn’t to catch a spring or no, but the fact that he managed to and he considered you his achievement, the most prized one. He could sit and deny it to himself, as he’d tried initially but no, he ached for you. Day and night, he ached for you.

So pitifully wrong he knew he was back then, as your form approached him, a grin on your face, “C’mere,” you’d shouted over the music—so wrong he was.

For while you pulled him closer on the dance floor, of a party he disliked, he clung onto you- his dark hair ruffling to your shoulders too—for just then he knew that you were his Spring. You made him forget about his lonely, tired winter, you made him breathe. As you wrapped your hands around his neck and danced close to him, nothing romantic and yet he wouldn’t complain because Suguru lived every moment spent, had it been around you, basking in your Spring.

And as he held you close, supporting himself with you, knowing you loved it too, he smiled.

—

“What’s your favourite colour?” You’d asked with a grin, brown raised and a chart in your hand, “We’re gonna paint your house that colour!”

He’d smiled, and before he could say anything at all, “Wait let me guess,” you chimed in quickly, “Yellow? The light kind,” a smile adored your lips, a squeal bursting to escape and it did too as he nodded with a chuckle.

Your arms found themselves wrapped around him, “I know you so well,” you’d laughed and stared into his eyes—he stared in to yours, knowing all too well that until the word ‘yellow’ had escaped your lips, he was sure he hadn’t known that colour properly at all. And now that you’d said ‘yellow’ he knew he’d fallen in love with a colour too—a colour of life, he’d smiled.

But the truth lay all too bare for until you had said the word ‘yellow’ Suguru hadn’t found his favourite colour at all.

#I just mean he’d be smitten. #as he should be and he clings to you #like at all times like a kitten #I love this (like the idea) so much though #pretty baby deserved so much better #hope you like it—it isn’t the best but at 6:30 am this is all I can do<3 #geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo x reader #suguru geto #jjk #from.🦊baby #☼࿐𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠→ #geto x y/n #geto x you #suguru geto x reader #geto fluff #suguru geto fluff #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk fluff

[mikesbasementbeets]

I disagree that bi mike wouldn’t make sense within the show’s canon. I strongly believe it would make MORE sense within the show’s canon for many different reasons, and that 99% of the evidence gay mike truthers try to twist to say explicitly confirms gay mike can coexist and be used to support bi mike without much adjusting. I think when you carefully analyze seasons 1 through 4 it’s pretty clear that mike had genuine romantic feelings for El at the beginning of the story. And there’s a lot of subtle things that support a bi mike reading. I think a significant portion of aggressive anti-bi mike theories are rooted in either biphobia, a misunderstanding of the nuances of what it means to be bi, or a desire to avoid having to accept mike’s early canon romantic feelings for El (enshrined into the scripts) cause that would mean accepting that it’s a love triangle. I think gay mike makes sense but it is in no way the only sound theory. And I’m not talking about headcanons, I’m talking about the text of the show

ok i know i said earlier i would respond to this in full but honestly there is WAY too much i could get into and this topic has been discussed to death at this point and i’m not interested in starting discourse again, so i’m really gonna try to be brief (spoiler alert, i failed). first of all, here’s my own gay mike analysis from months ago, back when i personally hadn’t seen any actual analysis about it yet and decided to just go through and analyze the show myself. many others have written much more thorough and articulate analyses, so i encourage anyone to seek those out if you’re really interested in developing an informed opinion about it. but if you’re already convinced one way or another, i’m probably not going to change any minds here, because this has all been said before.

the one thing i’m actually going to try to address here is the claim that mike was at some point genuinely romantically attracted to el, because as far as i can tell, that is the ONLY actual argument FOR bi mike. i haven’t seen anyone ever give evidence or try to argue that mike has shown attraction to any other specific woman or to women generally. if i’m wrong about that, please point me to that analysis (don’t tell me about bi flag colors around him though bc those three colors show up together everywhere in the show and are not specific to mike in any way, i don’t think that’s relevant “evidence”). also, i’m not looking at the scripts here, because i’m really only interested in ACTUAL CANON and the literal content of the show itself overrides any partial, text drafts of it, which is what scripts are. they are written for the specific purpose of filming the show and do not provide full and complete context (and what we are TOLD in this show does not always line up with what we are SHOWN).

just to be absolutely clear, i think that (disregarding the mountains of both textual and subtextual evidence of his LACK of attraction to women) mike having shown genuine romantic attraction to even one woman would be enough for him to be legitimately canonized as bisexual, but in all my understanding and analysis of the show, he has not.

from what i understand, bi mike truthers believe that mike had genuine romantic feelings for el in the earlier seasons that either faded over time or just never evolved past the initial childhood crush stage. i’ve addressed the latter idea before (in a post i can't find rn), but to sum up, crushes on people of a different gender, especially in youth, and during times when one is unsure of or figuring out one’s sexuality are COMMON among gay people. having a childhood crush is not the same thing as having genuine romantic feelings, and therefore is not valid evidence toward any particular sexuality. the insistence that it is concrete evidence of bisexuality is rooted in homophobia and a fundamental misunderstanding of the nuance of gay identity.

the first claim though, that he did have genuine romantic feelings in the beginning, but they faded over time, is what i’m going to focus on. i touched on this in my analysis linked above, but i’m going to try to explain again here. mike’s feelings for el have always been demonstrated with extreme consistency throughout the seasons. after their initial meeting and once mike learns to trust her, each time mike has been in a position to tell el how he feels about her, from season one all the way through to season four, he has behaved in the exact same way: he has struggled to put his feelings into words, refusing to outright claim romantic feeling or intent, and ultimately failed to communicate with el in a way she understands.

similarly, when faced with expressing romantic affection toward or about her, he has behaved with confusion, discomfort, and outright rejection of others’ assumptions of his romantic feelings. (read the analysis for more specifics on this)

each of these times is also rife with familial coding and parallels that subtextually explain WHY he is struggling to either voice or demonstrate romantic attraction. for just one specific example, in the first season, right before their first kiss, mike begins to excitedly describe the relationship that the two of them are about the have with each other (in not so many words) as one of a brother and sister. when el correctly infers this implication from his words, he grows confused, because he had been told previously by lucas, dustin, and even nancy, that his feelings for el were romantic. but he relents, and agrees that that is what his description meant. immediately after their first kiss, during which el is dressed in his sister's clothes, and which mike initiates when he can't find the words to express romantic attraction to her, his first word is.... "nancy." and later, when el is weak from killing the lab people who've been chasing them, mike repeats his earlier promise: that when all this is over, his family will become hers.

this is one thing that i genuinely can’t understand when it comes to the idea that mike ever truly liked el romantically. almost (if not) ALL of their interactions, especially in season one, have some sort of parallel to a familial relationship for one or both of them, on top of many of their interactions blatantly referencing the concept of the two of them being like family to one another. the absolute volume of these instances and the unyielding consistency of this pattern, again, beginning from the very first episode of season one and continuing all the way through season four, means that it is undoubtedly intentional. with that in mind, i cannot see any reading of their relationship that leaves room for genuine romantic feelings, when ALL of the subtext, FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, overwhelmingly presents them as family.

i’m not going to get way into the subject of compulsory heterosexuality because i could go on forever and i don’t want to, but the timeline of events in el and mike’s relationship arc makes it very clear that that's what’s happening. for el, her arc of independence is (not solely, but still) intrinsically tied to her relationship with mike. for mike, his struggle with his sexuality, specifically his lack of attraction to girls concurrent with his present attraction to boys (MOST presently Will), coincides directly with his relationship arc with el. i’m just going to link a couple of my screenshot posts where i've attempted to demonstrate this, bc i can't find it in me to explain all the nuances of comphet and the complex way these three characters' narratives have been intertwined (i'm bad at tagging so i can't find many, but here, here, here)

you might want to argue against my above points with scenes like the snowball dance, where he calls her beautiful and kisses her, or the make out scene in season three. but both the familial coding/parallels and the overarching themes of forced conformity (aka compulsory heterosexuality) associated with the snowball in my view completely changes the context behind the surface narrative of a “sweet romantic moment,” especially when you consider the coinciding narrative of mike’s relationship with will and the subtext of what that dance means for both of them. similarly, that make out scene, which can also be read as further evidence of mike’s discomfort with physical affection with el, as well as the overall arc of their entire season 3 relationship, is presented to be directly relevant to (specifically, in direct contrast with) mike’s evolving relationship with will, which IS genuinely romantic.

when i say that bi mike would be bad representation, this is what i mean. his “attraction” to el is consistently directly related to and contrasted with his relationship with will, coding his feelings for girls (most specifically the one girl for whom he has ever shown potential for romantic attraction) as lesser than his feelings for boys (specifically will, but ALSO OTHER MEN). bi rep that prioritizes and values attraction for one gender AT THE EXPENSE of attraction for another feels like an extremely problematic representation of bisexuality, if that's really what they are trying to portray. and this is not even getting into the countless subtextual clues that mike specifically DOES NOT LIKE GIRLS. (our son with a girl?, it’s not my fault you don’t like girls, el? sorry not interested, disgusted face next to “women in science,” blatant lack positive of response to “phoebe cates only hotter,” women’s room GET OUT, boys only, blatant and continued confusion over lucas and dustin’s attraction to max, "trying to solve the mystery of the female species" *LOUD BELCH* etc etc these are just off the dome and these are things that DO NOT WORK as queer coding if mike IS attracted to girls but VERY MUCH DO if he is gay. and there are SO MANY of them. more than that, if he is attracted to girls, then they are examples of the show consistently belittling that attraction, which again feels like a pretty shitty way to do bi representation)

god there’s so much more to this, but i can’t get into every little thing because it would take forever. literally there is SO MUCH evidence against it that i genuinely feel that the narrative would not make sense anymore if mike were revealed to be bi in season 5.

just to address a couple other things you said: i think the reason anti bi mike theory might sometimes come off as aggressive is because when one actually analyzes the entire content of the show, the evidence for specifically gay mike is OVERWHELMING and the claim that there is just as much evidence for bi mike remains unsupported, unsubstantiated, and at a certain point comes off as just willfully ignoring canon and even, at times, homophobic. i always see claims that some gay mike analysis is biphobic, and yet i have never seen any evidence of this. the claim that mike is not attracted to women, despite having been in a relationship with one, IS NOT biphobic. the claim that he is not bisexual, despite many people believing he is and wanting that representation, is NOT biphobic. the claim that his feelings for el have always been platonic and not romantic is NOT biphobic. it is an analytical conclusion based on the content of the show itself. i don’t doubt that some gay mike truthers have been biphobic, but i have not seen any actual gay mike ANALYSIS that is specifically biphobic (if you can provide concrete evidence, i will recant this, but i know that i and others have been careful not to resort to any sort of stereotyping or attempts at “analysis” that are rooted in biphobia). conversely, the claim that mike being in a romantic relationship with a woman and behaving romantically with her is PROOF that he is bisexual IS inherently rooted in homophobia and again, a misunderstanding of the nuance of what it means to be gay. i know (or assume, i guess) that most bi mike truthers aren’t outright thinking this way, and really believe mike’s romantic feelings to have been genuine, but as i and many others have tried to explain, when you do what the show is constantly telling you to do and look deeper than the surface level narrative, all of the canonical evidence from mike’s relationship with el actually explicitly and unambiguously points to the fact that his romantic interactions with her were NOT a result of genuine attraction, but rather a result of compulsory heterosexuality and a part of the natural process of figuring out his sexuality.

you also claim gay mike theorizing could come from "a desire to avoid having to accept mike’s early canon romantic feelings for El" but the fact is that it's not a desire for mike not to have had feelings for el (that assumption playing into the idea that gay mike truthers simply don't want him to be bi, hence the claims of biphobia) but what's actually happening is analysis that leads to the conclusion that he canonically did not have romantic feelings for el. the misconception is that gay mike truthers are simply projecting their own desires onto the text instead of what they're actually doing: critically analyzing it. i'd argue that bi mike truthers are the ones who want to avoid having to accept mike's lack of attraction to women, despite all of the evidence for it.

i've read a lot of analysis on here, from a lot of different perspectives, and i can truly say that every single comprehensive, good faith analysis of mike’s character i've ever seen has come to the same conclusion. he’s gay.

#not tagging this w anything bc again i don't want to start discourse and i'm done talking about this for now #i was gonna add a bunch of screenshots but i'm tired and this is enough i'll make some ss posts later and maybe link them #i have a couple in mind i've been meaning to make #mikesbasementasks

[mvrtaiswriting]

i have a song request! mary on a cross with giorno? specifically the part where it goes “your beauty never ever scared me” bc he is so so pretty but others might find it intimidating bc of his position. maybe for a plot it could be something like reader and giorno running away bc of the lyric “if you choose to run away with me.” idk, just an idea! do what you wish with this💕💕

Giorno Giovanna | Your beauty never scared me.

this has been sitting in my inbox / drafts for the longest time - it's embarrassing really. but it's finally here and i really wish it'll match your expectations, hoping that it would also grant me an apology! it's been ages since i last wrote for jojo's characters so i also need to apologise if this feels rusty! enjoy!!!

word count: 996

trigger warnings: slight mentions of lust, guns, usual jojo violence. (pls do come forward if i am missing something).

please feel free to like, reblog and leave a comment - i'd very much appreciate it. / click here for more of my works.

"I am not expecting you to understand." Giorno said in his usual firm voice, not taking his eyes away from his luggage which was frenetically being stuffed with clothes, and books, and weapons - and anything he could take with him.

If you were small enough to fit in there, if it was simply up to him - you'd be in the luggage too. Not because he perceived you as object, nor because he didn't respect you enough; he'd simply take you with him in this crazy ride. He could bear leaving everything behind, but you. Yet, he knows better than asking you to run-away with him. After sabotaging the entire gang organisation the two of you were both part of to avenge his teammates, Giorno knew that they'd be looking for him under every rock - he knew that they'd be unleashing the worst weapons against him in an attempt to kill him. He was undoubtedly strong, and definitely feared - but there was no way he could escape this. He had to go; he never wanted to become a gang member in the fist place.

"Maybe if you cared to explain.." was your stingy answer, as you observe his frenetic movements.

Giorno remained silent, a long sigh escaping his lips was the only answer he was able to give. He knew you were just as strong and just as used to the criminal life - but becoming fugitives would be way more than dangerous than that. He figured he preferred knowing you were alive and well then selfishly keeping you by his side and risking your life. He already put you in danger several times in the past, all because of his stupid plans - but at least his crew mates were still there to protect you, if needed. Now that they're all gone, he didn't want to tempt fate again. Not with your life.

"It was a pleasure, really." he finally said, zipping his luggage close and finally daring to look at you.

His blue eyes finally looking at you again sent a shiver down your spine, causing you to fix your posture in an attempt to overcome the sensation.

"Excuse me?" you said, realising that was his way to say goodbye to you. Raising an eyebrow, you walked closer to him and slammed your hand on the top of your luggage. Was he really going away without telling you anything? Did he really close it off like that, as if you were just another stupid, meaningless member of the organisation?

"Don't. Just pretend you never met me at all." he said with grinned teeth, his words hurting him more than anyone else.

Hearing this words made your soul shake, like the light of a candle when a soft wind blows - it won't be enough to turn it off, but its flame would become flebile, and weak. You could have sworn you could feel your blood running through your veins and directly pumping your muscles as adrenaline slowly built up in your muscles, triggering your fight or flight response. A part of you would have probably punched him - honestly. But what were you experiencing was deeper than that, a sentiment more clever than violence but that hurt just as much as a well-assigned punch would.

It was heartbreak. You couldn't believe Giorno really pronounced those words - erasing everything the two of you have experienced together: grief, love, lust, fear, excitement. As if nothing ever mattered to him, as if all those sleepless nights entangled in his bed and talking about the deepest part of your mind were nothing but a fun hobby that was nice until it lasted.

"Those games won't work with me, Giorno. You have no right to cut me out of your life like this -" you replied through grinned teeth, keeping your tone low to avoid alerting anyone who might be outside of Giorno's room.

Giorno's eyes pierced right through you once again as his expression softens, finally coming closer to you and gently placing an hand on your cheeks - in an attempt to show you just how much you meant to him. He knew just how much his touch reassured you, even though he was the one who needed it the most. Ready to move his hand away from your face, Giorno stopped your hand from reaching his.

"I am going away." was the only thing he said, his eyes still locked on yours.

"I'm coming with you then." you were quick to reply, knowing exactly what he meant.

Giorno shook his head rapidly, a sarcastic smile on his lips as he took a step back from you.

"No. I need to go but you don't. They'll do everything they can to get my head and hang it on their walls." he said coldly. "Let me say goodbye to you whilst you're still safe and well. I can't bear losing someone else. Let me say goodbye whilst you're still alive." he added as his eyes glimmered, a thin veil of teardrop making the blue of his iris seem like tidal waters.

Although it hurt to see him like this, you couldn't help but smile. Seeing so vulnerable was rare, and you treasured those little insights into his heart so much. You smiled, acknowledging once again just how much Giorno underestimated what you felt for him; he was so clever, yet so naive sometimes.

"Oh honey.." you said, caressing his lips with your thumb. "Danger is part of your charm and your beauty never ever scared me." you smiled again, winking at him and leaving a soft kiss on his plumped, pink lips. Reciprocating the kiss, Giorno pulled you closer to him and held you tight in his embrace, letting his carnal desires take control of his actions and breathing you in completely.

"Are you sure?" he asked, biting your bottom lip, trying to catch his breath after your long kiss.

"When are we leaving?" you replied.

#giorno x y/n #giorno x oc #giorno giovanna x reader #jjba giorno #jojo fan art #jojo fanfic #jojo headcanon #jojo vento aureo #jojo golden wind #jjba writers #jjba x reader #jjba golden wind #jojo x reader #jojo x you #giogio #jojo bizarre adventure #jojo oc #jojo headcanons #jojo part 5 #giorno #jjba bucciarati #bucciarati gang x reader

[eomma-jpeg]

thanks @veilder I really do like doing these lil games even though I have some unfinished ones in my drafts 💀

I have some extra thoughts if anyone cares if I ramble

I did write quite a bit on wattpad back in the day. My account is still up and kicking but my username there isn't the same anywhere else LOL so you might be able to find it ? I had a moderately successful fairy tail one-shot series and an unfinished doctor who self insert fic (i wrote these when I was 14 i want everyone to remember that lil fact.

I currently beta read for @noaafishfieldguide so I get alllll the juicy sea foam drama >:) (its literally so fun i love doing it T-T. I don't have any beta readers except that squid does get to read 'in the meadow' early to help me make sure it actually is good LOLOL

Every fic i write is self indulgent, isn't that like.... the point of a fanfiction ???

So I am a multifandom writer, but as of late I've been stuck in trigun (the Fandom that got me to start writing again). But I technically started writing for royai just before then because Fullmetal is one of my all time favorites and royai is so special and perfect to meeeeee (I also wrote a kacchako fiction which is technically my most popular by kudos??? Which is wild?)

I cannot tell you how closely i watch my phone after a chapter of itm is posted. I just like, stare longingly and wait for comments to roll in T-T

YALL I NEVER IN 1000 YEARS WOULD HAVE EXPECTED PEOPLE TO DRAW ART FOR MY FICS. I NEVER FELT THAT ANYONE WOULD CARE THAT MUCH BUT @noaafishfieldguide and @mad-aims HAVE BOTH DONE ART AND I DO CRY STILL ABOUT IT

I have.... an entire kacchako fantasy bnha fic outline just like sitting in my drive. I've written some chunks of it, but it was mostly self indulgence and there's like a make-out scene in there... I also have a one bed royai thats just sitting, waiting to be published bc I dont know if its good LOLOL

Listen, I know its silly and its my current fic, but I really adore writing in the meadow and I'm so happy that the people reading it do read it, but I need more to join bc I am converting people to the millyons agenda.... thats just my whole goal so please get in on this

Ty for indulging me and here are the people I tag: @noaafishfieldguide, @firewoodfigs, @fullmetalscullyy, @fullcry, @eilwen

Here's the blank copy!

#ty again veil and i did read ur notes and i am excited for that thing 👀👀👀👀👀👀 #asks #trigun #bnha #fma #fic #I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE RAMBLE ABOUT THE THOUGHTS IN THEIR HEAD

[amiharana]

7, 22, 27, and 38 for the writing ask game, if you don't mind! :D

(ask game from here)

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

best part about writing is i can just write the most self-indulgent shit ever and then i read it back later and i'm like hell yeah this is exactly what i'm looking for! i'm not kidding i frequently go back through all my documents rereading all the concepting i wrote like it's a little bedtime story. no one can scratch my brainworms better than me fr! ☝️😀

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

mm i'm fairly okay about the organization of my writing stuff. after i got my first laptop, all of my writing has been on computers and kept in my google drive. i'm actually considering making another account to transfer all my stuff over so my personal google acc has more space kasjdfkjsdj

i love making so many folders and color coding in there though. i'm planning on retitling all my fic document stuff in a certain way to make it easier to find them, but i don't know what way works for me yet. there a quite a few documents that are out of place because it's either there's not enough of the same-fandom documents to make a folder or i just don't know how i wanna organize it yet. reorganizing is a process i have not had a time for recently hehe

if you're talking about actual writing, i have a couple fics where i make a separate document for the outline i wrote and switch between the outline and the draft, e.g. my docs "[revalink] crystal snow draft" vs "[revalink] crystal snow outline". usually i do this because the way i wrote it in the outline conveys the exact emotion or image i want and use that as a reference while i write the draft. also it's just fun to see my own brain on display! otherwise i keep one huge document for each ship where i braindump my ideas onto, e.g. my doc "_revalink concept reservoir" and then just add headers/outline in the document. the revalink concept document is currently 80 pages long LMFAOKDJFDJK but it's a bit messy at the moment bc i've been copy pasting a lot of stuff in there

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

hmm of the fics i've properly finished and uploaded, i don't think i've ever actually been stressed writing a character KDFHKDJFD i've mostly written soft cute self-indulgent stuff so it's not too difficult to write them being soft.

i guess what i'll say instead is i actually had a difficult time in general writing the 'like crazy' fic. most of the premise and style of the fic was something i had a hard time conveying, particularly writing link's character in that first half. i try to get in the heads of my characters when i write and figure out what they would do and why they would do it based on what i know about their character. and it was just. really hard to write link in the self-indulgence of what the vibes/lyrical meaning of the song 'like crazy' was while also keeping him within the boundaries of the character i perceive him as.

if anyone else reading this has some time to spare, you can read 'like crazy' here or the link pinned on my blog! it was my revalink week d7 fic hehe 🤍

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

i wish i could tell you something outright insane or outlandish but i can't 😔 my writing process just consists of me laying in bed with my laptop and youtube on my switch hooked to the tv playing videos while i stare at a google doc for a couple minutes until the words come to me, rinse and repeat for as many days as needed until the fic is edited and finalized.

maybe the weirdest thing i've done while writing was either laying down on my side in bed like. semi-fetal position but arranging myself in a way where i could still type on my laptop, or when i got up to lay down and cuddle on the floor of my room with my dog for a little bit to take a break from writing. sorry for the boring answer 🙏

#ask #ask game #iridescentgleam #all i really do is rot in bed to be honest i need to get out of the house more often #other big joy about writing is when people comment on my work losing they fucking minds #i still think about shen's comment on my first revalink fic every day #i hope i can replicate that reaction again someday #the eepies and spoingles and bingos Like u were so real for that #i considered posting a pic of what my google drive looks but i felt like i was overdoing the question atp KDJFHDJHKF #i'm a little sad that 'like crazy' didn't get as much attention as i wanted it to since i worked so hard on it #but it's ok i love her and she's still a beloved child of mine 🤍 #cats think we're big dumb goofy idiots but adore us anyway btw in case you wanted to know

[runicmagitek]

2022 Writerly Year Review

tagged by @frozen-fountain (many thanks!!) not gonna tag anyone, but if you're a writer and are reading this and feel like giving this a go? Consider yourself tagged! 💖

Total number of completed works. Posted to AO3? 62 🙃 I guess it's technically 61, as What Leads You Here is still in progress, being a longfic and all.

Total number of WIPs worked on this year. Oh lord, hold please as I count all the drafts and partially done stuff in Scrivener.... 7 total. 8 if you include What Leads You Here, which fully drafted, but in the editing phase.

WIPs neglected this year. I honestly don't know djsaklfdjslkfjkldas I continue to neglect my one Celes/Terra fic I abandoned when 13 Sentinels hijacked my brain, so there's that 🙃 I promise I'll return to it one day.

Fandoms I've written in. 13 Sentinels, Critical Role, Final Fantasy (VI, VII, IX, and X), Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury, My Dress-Up Darling, and Pyre

Total word count. Uh, posted to AO3? 287,882. Written? A little over 500k

Looking back, did you write more than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you expected? MORE. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY MORE.

Did you take any writing risks this year? There were a handful of fics that I banged out in a single day, quickly edited them, and slapped them onto AO3. Are they amazing works of literature? Hell no. Were they super fun to write? Hell yeah. I need to just… relax with editing more and let myself do this more often. I swear some of my better-received fics are when I go "you know what? fuck it" and release it into the world.

Do you have any goals for the new year? Not write as much lolsob. Also finish What Leads You Here along with a handful of WIPs. Maybe even revisit that Celes/Terra WIP if I have time/energy!

Biggest disappointment? Not so much in my own writing, but just lack of engagement with some of my fics. Then again, that's par for the course when you write A) not-so-popular characters, B) gen fic, and C) stories involving death and angsty bits. Also seeing my fluffy G fics doing better than my smutty fics in the 13 Sentinels fandom just… continues to baffle me to this day. It's LITERALLY the only fandom I've ever been in where smut does worse numbers-wise and I don't get it.

Biggest surprise? I wrote something for Critical Role!! I've been a longtime watcher and enjoy the show, but I've done my best to staaaaay away from the fandom 😰 plus I tend to wait until I finish something before I ever consider writing a fic for it, just so I can have the whole picture, so to speak. But one particular episode just set me off and I had to write something to hold me over until the next episode 😭

Most popular story of the year? Most hits/bookmarks? For the Ones That Feel It the Most

Most kudos/subscriptions? Sweet Dreams (why are people subscribing to a oneshot lolsob)

Most comments? What Leads You Here

Ahhh the power of posting fics near the release of a popular thing. And also longfics lol.

What's your own favorite story of the year? I feel like this changes on a daily basis lol I love all of them for different reasons. Lucid has a close place to my heart bc I was Very Upset to find close to no m!Byleth/Gatekeeper fics in an incredibly popular/active fandom. Also really love how Like You, Only Sweeter turned out, which was an incredibly self-indulgent story for me (I just wanted them to smooch)

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion. Nearly all of my 13 Sentinels fics bc the fandom is small and niche lolsob. But also Marinate, which granted, I posted the last week of 2022, but still.

Most fun story to write. What the Water Gave Me, which very quickly snowballed out of control into its own thing. I had a blast writing this mermaid AU and thinking of lore for this world!

Most unintentionally telling story. I'm not sure if this means like… a story that utilized more telling as opposed to showing or just… telling about me as an individual. Either way, I'm genuinely not sure? A lot of aspects of myself are sprinkled across my stories, but isn't any work of art?

My favorite part of fandom this year. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PICK ONE?????? Meeting so many cool and incredibly talented people. Starting a Discord server with good friends. Applying (and getting accepted!) to a bunch of amazing zine projects. Participating in all the secret santa events and fic exchanges. Being late to a fandom and getting to experience things for the first time. Watching my friend react throughout their 13 Sentinels playthroughs. Collaborating with a lovely art friend to make our own damn zine. Getting to share my longfic with the small, yet vastly passionate community. And just… so so many more moments that made me smile and be forever grateful. If we've interacted at all, even for a brief moment, thank you for making 2022 a little brighter.

#runic rambles #my writing #meme thing

[figureofdismay]

Screaming about your tags on that post - they are so on point re why Morse feels as betrayed as he does this time. But also tell me more about the Venice fic pretty please? 🙏

I was thinking just as I was walking to work this morning that one good heart to heart after the s7 finale and their relationship would have been on the most rock solid ground it's ever been - they were so close... Plus so much of Morse's s8 angst could be avoided. But of course the only way anyone gets that heart to heart is via forcing it out of them via plot lmao .

sorry for taking a million years to answer this, it's turned into a whole thing where I was like, oh maybe I should look at the notebook where I was writing this because I've had a whole year in succession fandom between now and the last time I worked on this. And despite the fact that the notebook must be somewhere in my house, it is nevertheless comprehensively lost 🫠.

BUT. the idea was basically Morse and Fred getting released from police custody on a 'don't leave town while we A) read through the documentation you brought B) investigate for ourselves and C) try and fish Talenti's body out of the canal so we can verify all this, also please refrain from shooting anyone else' order. And they've been up all night in questioning, and since Fred came straight there, he has no accommodation, so for at least the first bit he's going to be stuck sharing a room with Morse. On the back of a year long feud and that letter that had undertones of a suicide note.

I do think that at very least they were going to have the the "were you going to let talenti shoot you because you got tricked by the girl and because I was mad at you" conversation because i think it's actually out of character for Fred to let that go, given how they talk in earlier seasons after other crises. Esp Trove and Ride.

now, because I'm a dirty shipper, there was going to be dirty shipper backstory because it was how I was trying to rationalize the s7 feud after the s6 reunion. I had come up with the idea of a morse/fred affair that happened while win had left him, spurred partly by morse's jealousy of box's interest in fred driving him to force a confrontation where an 'acting on previously simmering but never acknowledged feelings' moment or series of moments happened. but that when fred and win reconciled it was 'understood' that what passed between morse and fred was over and would never be spoken of again (in theory) so even though morse needed him to be the 'good man' who valued his marriage the most of all, he still resented fred's putting him aside, and thus the extreme bitterness of s7... and they were going to have to talk about that baggage, too, given enough time stuck in italy.

i have a feeling that's not really what most of the morse and thursday fandom wants to read about though, which is why I didn't go very far with it. it might be worth carving something less partisan out of though, idk. I'm trying to push myself to widen my appeal to mainly the platonic relationship. It's tough though, because deep down I am just a dumb dirty shipper at heart 😅🙈. i know there's a lot more to their relationship than that though! there's a lot to dig into from a lot of angles! Affair and subsequent bitterness is just what I could come up with at the time, bc the contextless shift in the relationship in s7 was such a shock.

also i really need to find wherever I tucked the notebook with my draft ahead of anything else 😭

[vacantgodling]

summer reading & writing tag

thanks @sarahlizziewrites for tagging me!

1) Describe one creative WIP project you're planning to work on over the summer:

well, paramour is still chugging along—my goal is to have draft one finished or mostly done by the end of this year but i’m pacing myself.

2) Recommend a book:

tbh i don’t have the brain to read that much but if you’ve never read the phantom of the opera then please go read it. i read it earlier this year it’s very very good and i’m obsessed with it.

3) Recommend a fic:

gonna be vain and recommend my own fics cuz i can /shrug. you can find me on ao3 with the same handle (vacantgodling) but specifically you should go read my fic storm chasers ; it’s an overwatch fic yes but you really don’t need any knowledge of the game to read it cuz it’s just a custody battle fic and the prose is good. basically you should read it and tell me it’s good to encourage me to fucking work on it again

eventually i’ll work on cage but don’t read the version on ao3 cuz it has the bad name and it’s not done and my outline is so much better but kiriko existing has fucked me over and i’m trying to figure out how to get my brain to ignore canon more to write this shit.

anyway ignore ME onto the next question.

4) Recommend music!

been obsessed with the seether cover of careless whisper lately bc it’s such an amon and hya song losing my mind about it.

and fuck it here’s my on repeat spotify playlist go nuts or something

5) Share one piece of advice!

favorite advice that me & my partner parrot at each other when we get stressed about how other people view us: if they aren’t feeding you, fucking you, or financing you, then their opinion is irrelevant.

tagging @henrike-does-writing-sometimes @magic-is-something-we-create @chayscribbles & anyone who wants to give this a spin

#about renjamin

[irritablepoe]

6. 3 characters that inspire you

15. 3 quotes that have a special place in your life

29. 3 characteristics of the person you aspire to be

(from that 3 things ask game that u reblogged a while back and i just had the time to find it on my drafts again ashskjjldsj)

Hope u have a great day/night!! 💜

Hiiii Mila!!! :D

Omg I totally forgot that I rb this, but thank you that you’re sending an ask even a while after, that’s so sweet of you <33

3 persons that inspire you

I actually don’t know if this is specifically for real life people or also characters (it’s been a while and I don’t remember ahh)? I’m gonna do real people bc I’ve done characters a lot :3

Rachel Oates – she is a youtuber and talks a lot about feminism, pro-choice stuff and also poetry and I think she’s wonderful and I admire her maturity and knowledge when it comes to certain topics; I’d also like to spend my life similar to her: self-employed, maybe in a relationship but with much privacy, no kids etc. (I recommend watching her, her videos are very well thought out and backed up by studies and stuff)

Fyodor Dostoyevsky writing style inspires me, it enables my ability to ramble in my text lmao; V. E. Schwab in turn taught me that it’s okay to write short sentences (schwab and dosti are fighting in my head at all times) (also V.E. Schwab is a really cool person! :D) (I put basically two persons here lmao, I’m sorry)

Ahhh the third person is hard…. Uhm I would say Ethan Nestor? I’m pretty sure many know him, he’s done unus annus with Markiplier and when I watched it and even after it was over, it inspired me to be more… well, not funny per se but more random and be more myself when I’m around people (i naturally laugh a lot and it encouraged me kinda?). Ethan also talks a lot about how he always thinks he’s not good enough and I relate to that a lot – so it’s a good feeling seeing him be a good and kind person and it inspires me to do the same (I’m often not that successful but yk, I’m trying)

3 quotes that have a special place in your heart

Raskolnikov: „But why do they love me so much, if i don’t deserve it? Oh, if i were alone and no one loved me and i had never loved anyone! All this would never have taken place!“ – this stuck with me and I still think about it, especially bc I often have this thought that everything would be easier if no one loved me and I loved no one, but I know Raskolnikov is wrong (he knows it himself) and therefore I know I’m wrong, if that makes sense? To sneak another quote in here, I think this one quote from jackaby also hits home in that regard: “I wondered what was sadder, leaving someone to cry after you were gone, or not having anyone who’d miss you in the first place”

“He needed to tell her… what? That she was lovely and brave? And better than anything he deserved? That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn’t pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to he had begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. He had to thank her for his new hat.” – thank you Ms Bardugo I’m gonna cry in a corner now

Technically all of Kafka’s letter to his father. I’ve probably said it before but this whole letter is like… ouch… kafka somehow always manages to describe what I’m feeling (also in his diaries and works) and yeah, this letter has a very special place in my heart. Especially the part about him not being good enough for his father and also his friends not being good enough (“it was enough that I showed a mere interest in a person – it didn’t occur often because of my character – and you’d bash them with insults […]”), and also the hypocrisy (“please, father, don’t misunderstand me, usually it would have been insignificant details, though those rules bear down on me only because you […] didn’t follow them yourself”) (all of this is translated by me, i don't have the english version) and in general how kafka describes himself in it (especially his hypochondria and how he thinks about his academic achievements)

I wish this was more revolutionary and there were more quotes from books that I haven’t talked about already but well, these are the first that I think of yk :3

3 characteristics of the person you aspire to be

Ok there’s kinda two ways one could interpret that question – either that I pick for example a celebrity that I want to be and list the qualities about them that I want to have OR basically describe your ideal self and I think I’m gonna go with the second one bc I don’t wanna pick one specific person ig? So I’m gonna list some qualities that I wish I had, I hope that’s okay :3

I wish I was more extroverted (even like a little bit; connecting with people is hard when I'm constantly running on low battery and signals in my head are going off lmao)

I know I’m not stupid but I wish I was smarter… like my grades are good but not GREAT, I can think critically but I wish I could write good and clear analyses like some people on here; I also wished I could read faster, sadly, I’m more of a slow reader bc I want to understand the text very thoroughly but if I could read faster I could read MORE and have more input in my brain that I can use :]

I wish I was less anxious (brain go brrrr every time I go outside so I wish I was more confident in my abilities ig)

In summary: my ideal self would be more extroverted, smarter, a fast reader and confident

Thank you again for the ask! :3 it’s gotten really long, also omg i didn't stick to the rules at all lmao i sneaked in so much more stuff hehe >:3

Hope you're having a good day/night too! :D

#long post #putting that in #johnny's silly rambles #as well bc that's a LOT of personal stuff

[pinolitas]

Chapters 1 | 48 | 61 | 113 | 140

something about the Zen'ins...

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #Maki zenin #I was mostly looking for points where she gets compared to itadori but I also found the toji one #why can't anyone get her off their mind 🙄 #same way toji lives rent free in everyone's brain #anyways I hope she's stronger than itadori now #if anyone finds more please tell me bc this was in the drafts but I rewatched the black flash ep for funsies and found the hanami one

[funnywormz]

tell me ab ur jevils ….. :3

WAYUGHGH ty for wanting to know abt my take on him!! i might go a bit crazy and im not gonna draft or proofread this post and it'll be very long so im putting it under a read-more in case ppl don't want my random rambles on their dash lol. plus im kinda shy abt it ngl

(DISCLAIMER: none of this is necessarily what i think is actually canon, in fact for a large portion of it im pretty certain it's not canon at all lol. these are just the personal headcanons ive formed around jevil in my head. don't interpret this as a "theory" post or me saying im correct abt this stuff or think it's canon bc i don't at all lol, this is just my personal self indulgent take on jevil and i don't expect anyone to treat it that seriously hehe)

OK SO. quite a bit of this is inspired or was fueled by convos with @/bigshotautos, so credit to them for letting me infodump on them so often and for having some really epic headcanons and ideas. anyways

my headcanon for jevil is that pre-corruption he was really just. a funny little guy. i've drawn my take on pre-corruption jevil a few times

^ this fella. as you can see he has a few differences to canon jevil, i.e. arrow shaped tail instead of the J shape, white sclera, more rounded and friendly features, no eye makeup/markings, different outfit, eyes wide open 24/7, generally keeps his mouth closed

prior to becoming a jester he was a very lonely small creature. idk if anyone knows where he came from, even himself. initially he was generally ignored and if he was noticed ppl found him unsettling, but after a while he realised he had a talent for trickery and performance, and ppl would enjoy his company and find him entertaining provided he found ways to amuse them. queen in particular took a shine to him and he quickly got a gig as the court jester. during this stage he was very obedient and eager to please. nobody had ever really given him attention before. he's very friendly and perfectly content being treated like a toy or an animal as long as ppl "like" him and pay attention to him.

jevil at this stage is very different to the jevil we know in canon. he keeps his eyes open in a sort of blank wet-eyed stare almost constantly which some ppl find unsettling, and rarely speaks outside of short responses and riddles/wordplay. he's extremely naive and loyal. the royals like him and find him entertaining, but a lot of that is just bc they find his whole existence to be an amusing oddity rather than actually appreciating the effort he puts into his act. and outside of the royals, many of the other servants and townsfolk find him seriously worrying and unsettling, with a lot of them being really suspicious of him.

him and seam become friends bc they often have to work together since seam is the court magician and he's the court jester! seam doesn't quite know what to make of jevil at that point and keeps him at arms length, but they get along well enough with him and enjoy one another's company.

eventually though his loneliness begins to slowly eat away at him though and it's at that point, when he's feeling low and having a hard time maintaining his jester role, that the "mystery contact" shows up. they meet him a few times and ask him if he wants to see the truth and truly understand the people around him, to which he responds with enthusiasm, thinking it'll make him wiser and show him how he can do a better job at pleasing others.

unlike spamton, who i headcanon the mystery contact kinda eased into things with and took a long time to show the shadow crystal to, they show it to jevil after only a few encounters with him. they use it to show him a lot of things, a lot of them horrible things he doesn't understand, and reveal the truth of his world being a game to him. they also show him how alone he truly is, and how he isn't really truly liked by anyone. it's unfortunately the truth, everything that they show him is factually true, but jevil can't really take it. his personality and ego that was already very fragile gets shattered completely. for the first time in his life he understands how little he matters and how little he understands, and how little ppl care abt him.

^ both of these doodles are referencing his exposure to the shadow crystal and the immediate aftermath, although obv the first one takes a lot of artistic liberty lol. in my headcanon it's the exposure to the things he sees in the crystal that makes his eyes turn black.

the minute jevil sees the truth of his world, he wants nothing more than to forget it, to go back to how he was. but he can't, and he can't "look away" from it, can't stop thinking abt it. he does sleep, but his dreams are plagued by it, and he has a hard time telling the difference between his own dreams and reality, between being awake and being asleep.

at this point his behaviour becomes increasingly erratic, and although some ppl do notice, most of them don't care and see it as confirmation of the biases they already had abt him. seam wants to reach out but they don't know how to. jevil doesn't ask for help directly but he tries to signal that he's in trouble but from his perspective nobody picks up on it or seems to care.

eventually this callous attitude from others, combined with the things the mystery contact has shown him, causes jevil to become bitter. he isolates himself from others, and begins to view them as ignorant and puppet-like, because he knows the truth and they don't. he continues being a jester, but his performances have an edge of malice and cruel humour that they didn't have before. he begins to cope with the knowledge that's been forced on him by viewing it as a good thing, something that makes him freer and wiser than others.

throughout this period his meetings with the mystery contact continue, and eventually they guide him into meeting spamton, with the idea that they could work together and that jevil could help keep spamton focused on what he needs to do. initially, jevil dislikes spamton, he reminds him of the kind of ppl he hates, wealthy and clueless. spamton in turn looks down on jevil at first, and sees him as a freak, which fuels jevil's dislike for spamton bc he knows full well spamton doesn't like him lol.

however, as they're forced to interact with each other, their similarities begin to surface, and soon they start to like each other and take solace in one another. during this period of their lives they're both guarded and jaded ppl, so they never fully open up to each other, but they do become friends and develop mutual romantic feelings, although neither is sure what to do abt it.

^ this is jevil's (and spamton's) appearance during this stage in his life. similar to canon, but mildly friendlier looking, with a different outfit too. his eyes become more heavily lidded and he exposes his teeth more often at this stage.

after a while, jevil begins to realise the negative impact the mystery contact is having on spamton (this idea was directly lifted from convos w bigshotautos so once again credit to them hehe) and begins to try to convince spamton to stop talking to them. it's "too late" for him, but he hopes that he might be able to help spamton and stop him from getting exposed to a shadow crystal. however, spamton views this as jevil trying to steal his thunder and get in favour with the mystery contact (at this point spamton is becoming incredibly paranoid and hungry for power himself), and they have a huge falling out over it.

jevil returns to his own dark world, angry and upset. the mystery contact abandons him completely at this point and without its guidance, combined with the loss of spamton as a close friend, jevil really goes off the deep end. he tries to convince seam of all of the things he's been shown, that their world is just a game, that everything is pointless, etc. seam is scared and confused and obviously doesn't really get what he's saying (at least at that point in their life), so jevil gets frustrated and enraged and decides to attempt to "prove" his perspective by attacking the king, one of the people who used him and mistreated him the most. seam fights him, and eventually is able to stop him after reducing his HP and then casting pacify on him as many times as they can, but they're both left permanently physically and mentally scarred by the battle.

^ this lol

jevil falls unconscious and seam locks him up in the dungeon. jevil takes a long time to wake up and when he does he's fully fucking bananas lol. he continues to sink deeper into his worldview, coping with everything and rationalising it through the lens of himself being the only free and enlightened one, and everyone else being kept in the dark abt what their reality is. he's not wrong abt everything being a game etc either, but the way he responds to that is to view his own existence and the lives of others as trivial. he copes by forcing his feelings for other ppl away deep down inside himself. he copes by convincing himself that he's having fun, that he's above emotions, that other ppl are just playthings and it's worthless to care abt them.

he's fully deep in this mentality by the time the crew meets him in ch 1, and that combined with being stuck in a dungeon for many years has made him seriously unbalanced. he gets to play his "game" with the main cast and enjoys himself, and then is perfectly happy with the thought of sleeping in kris's inventory forever and giving in to his own perceived insignificance.

however, reuniting with spamton changes this. spamton is still hopeful and longs for better things despite the stuff he's seen, and that combined with jevil's feelings for spamton begins to slowly break down the elaborate facade jevil has built for himself. he doesn't want to care abt spamton, or crave his companionship, but he does. even though he knows it's fruitless and he feels he'll only get hurt, with spamton's help he's able to open up more. caring for someone and wanting to protect them is something that erodes jevil's worldview pretty quickly, bc his view of things pre ch 2 kinda hinges on all other darkners being worthless and stupid and not having the same enlightenment he does. spamton challenges this bc jevil does care abt him involuntarily, and spamton knows the same things that jevil does but still chooses to care and want a better life for himself.

i think ppl often portray jevil as coping better with his corruption than spamton, and although he does seem more at ease with it on the surface, i personally see that as a facade he's been able to put up. he's had longer to form coping mechanisms than spamton has, and just bc his true emotions are buried deep within him now, it doesn't mean they're not there. not to say that spamton isn't fucked up bc he is lol. but jevil's entire outward personality is basically just a scab formed over a very deep emotional wound. it would be a slow process but he would get better with the help of ppl who genuinely care abt him now

OK SORRY im done. that was so long. im not going back and reading any of this bc ik if i do i'll cringe so hard and never post this lol, so sorry if there are mistakes. ty for giving me the opportunity to talk abt my little guy ideas

#jevil #jevil deltarune #rambles #z rambles

[ray-ray-writings]

Uhm, hi

Soo, I don't want to stress you out or make you do something, but I have a request.

Again, you don't have to do it if you are uncomfortable with it, don't like the idea, have no time, or just don't want to do it

But, could you please maybe do a technoblade x reader where the reader gets really bad period cramps and techno's reaction to it.

Or like, maybe he doesn't know what a period is bc he grew up around all guys or something and he freaks out?

Again, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.

Thanks for your time tho

So I totally thought I posted this a while ago... I did not, I saved it to my drafts and didn't realize until now.

So, from the bottom of my heart,

My bad.

But periods are the absolute worst and I hate them so much. That is all. Thank you for the request anon!

Techno would know what a period is, but he wouldn’t know much about them. He knew what they were, why they occurred, what happened during them, but because he grew up with his father and two brothers, he never was around anyone that had them.

I’d like to imagine the first time you had your period, Techno waltzed into your house and immediately was able to smell the blood, which he could tell was yours, and he began to freak out. He follows the scent and finds you curled up in the bed, clutching your stomach. He rushes over to you and runs his hands over your stomach. “It’s going to be okay Y/N. I’m going to help you,” he babbles out. You let out a sigh of contentment at the warmth of his hands seeping through your skin and easing the ache ever so slightly.

Techno begins to worry even more and his eyes scan your stomach, looking for the injury that had caused you to bleed and clutch your stomach. “Where are you hurt?” Techno asks, when he can’t find the wound. The question causes you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“Hurt? I'm not hurt,” you slur out, pressing Techno’s hands further down on your stomach, trying to make the warmth go deeper.

“Not hurt? You’re bleeding Y/N! You wouldn’t be bleeding if you weren’t hurt.” It takes you a moment to digest the words and understand the meaning but as soon as you do, you begin to laugh. “What? What is so funny?” Techno questions, really confused as to why you just went from looking like you're in pain to laughing.

“I am Tech. I am bleeding. I’m on my period Techno. That’s where the blood is.” Techno’s face flushes and he lets out a soft ‘oh.’ He’s not sure what to say, a little embarrassed at confusing your period for you being injured and freaking out as much as he had.

Techno clears his throat and looks back at you, looking at your face, but avoiding your eyes. “Is there anything I can do?” he asks, wanting to know how best to help. You think for just a moment before holding your arms out to him and making grabby hands at him.

“Cuddles?”

Without another word, Techno moves his hands from your stomach and carefully lays down next to you. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to his chest, letting your head rest on him and his head on top of your head as his hands move up and down your back in a soothing pattern.

A content sigh escapes your lips as his overly warm body transfers heat to yours and relaxes the muscles that cramp up during this time. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.

Techno is a bit clueless at times and you have to explain things to him. He was so concerned the first time he witnessed you have a cramp. One moment you were talking perfectly fine, the next you were hunched over yourself, struggling to breathe. After the cramp releases, Techno is all over you, asking what happened, if you were okay, why you had keeled over, his whole mind and mouth moving a mile a minute as he tries to figure out what happened. Once you catch your breath, you explain cramps to Techno and why they happen and Techno listens. He asks questions and makes sure that he knows what to do.

After that, he always has cramp medicine on hand. He also has heated blankets, and is also always willing to drop everything to cuddle and rub your back or stomach to make you feel better. He hates to see you in pain and so he is willing to do anything he can to lessen that pain. He’s definitely punched Tommy when he was being too pushy and too loud around you while you were struggling with the pain.

Techno also loves cuddling with you when you’re on your period. He’s so warm and it makes you feel so relaxed and comfortable against him. He loves being able to take care of you like that and he feels so honored that you feel safe enough to curl up into him and relax like that. It makes you feel good and in turn it makes him feel good too.

He will also make you anything that you want food wise. I don’t know if it’s just a me thing, but I get intense cravings when I’m on my period and when I realize I can’t have/don’t have that food, it makes me want to cry. So if this applies to you, he will absolutely make you whatever you want, and he would even bring it to you wherever you were. Again, Techno just wants to make sure you’re taken care of and given the things that you want.

… That’s all I got haha. I’m sorry it was so short, but I hope you enjoyed either way!

#mcyt #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt drabble #technoblade #technoblade imagine #technoblade x reader #technoblade drabble #cw// periods #is that something people tag? #maybe #who knows #not me #periods #menstration #techno #techno x reader #techno imagine #techno drabble

[azenkii]

A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential

#holy cow this ended up so much longer than i intended #atla #avatar #zuko #firelord zuko #headcanons

[im-gettingby]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you to @aristocratic-otter and @bookish-bogwitch who tagged me this week and also lots of other weeks even though I have not participated in a WHILE.

Adding a bunch of snippets because…I have a lot to finish and motivation would be 💯

From Ch 3 of If I Could Turn Back Time:

“Absolutely useless without your fists,” a haughty voice crows. “Tell me, are you going to take out the Insidious Humdrum with a well-placed punch? I doubt he’s corporeal.”

As for young Baz…I could stake him right now. I meet my Baz’s panicked eyes and try to communicate, cast something! This is not the kind of thing we were trained for. Our students are respectful! They don’t try to off one another because of an assignment about, ironically, conflict resolution.

“Give peace a chance!” Baz casts, and I recall it from the times Ebb had to spell us apart. Both Baz and Simon fall backwards, repelling each other like magnets.

From Ch 4 of Summer Haze:

Manju doesn’t reply for a few seconds. “Ah. Well, Simon…” She pauses for a moment, then clears her throat. “I hope you and your friend used prophylactics. I mean, protection. Condoms,” she adds, awkwardly.

I cough. My face is burning. Kidnapped by vampires, engaging in casual sex—Manju isn’t too far off the mark, honestly.

“I’m not sure if anyone has spoken to you about that,” she adds. “If you want to talk to someone, I mean...I can find someone. Or a book. I’ll go to the library and find a book,” she says, with slightly more resolve.

“That’s okay!” I cringe. “I’ve gotten that talk. Don’t worry.” From Dr. Wellbelove, in fact. There’s nothing more awful than getting the Talk from your girlfriend’s dad. Well, I can do you one better—nothing more awful than getting the Talk right after he’s examined your bollocks and made you cough twice.

From a stoner au inspired by @mostlymaudlin and starwarned that will probably end up being my Erotic Grope Fest submission unless I come up with something I like more:

That’s how, around ten, I’m already dozing off. I excuse myself before I can do something truly mortifying like falling asleep on Simon’s shoulder. (I’d probably drool; I have an embarrassing overbite. And this is not the way I want to introduce Simon’s body to my saliva.) (I’m disturbed, I know.)

From a deleted draft of my Anon Fest fic, which I think I’ll probably publish on its own eventually:

I shove my whole weight onto my hands, expecting him to resist, but he doesn’t. Instead he lifts his neck so that our faces are close together. “Do it, Snow. What you came here to do.”

Kill him, he means.

He’s mocking me. He knows that I can’t. Somehow, he knows it’s not part of the plan…

“Not. Yet,” I spit back.

“Really? Wouldn’t have expected you of all people to play with your food,” he growls. “Golden boy enjoys a bit of torture, then?”

A snippet from a very disjointed post-AWTWB situation that is basically five fics, none of which are long enough to post alone, smacked together:

“I already told you! You know, Snow, maybe you’d feel better if you revealed some of your secrets.”

“You know my secrets,” I say, earnestly, desperately, because I want him to. I want him to cut me open and map out my insides. I want him to hold my beating heart in his hand, to run his tongue along the veins, and to memorize me by touch and taste.

He smirks, and then he says the magic word (not literally, but as good as). “Please.”

And lastly, a WIP I started TODAY bc @skeedelvee is a genius and their fics live in my brain always but especially Sextuplets:

“There you are!”

I groan against Simon 4’s lips and sigh. I turn around, and Simon 2 is standing in the doorway. At least he has the sense to look a little embarrassed.

“What?” I ask. I glance at Simon 4, who is vibrating with the effort of not blowing up at Simon 2. (They all agreed to a truce after fifteen minutes of screaming, which has been tenuous at best. Simon Snow is jealous—who would have guessed?) (I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it.)

“I was thinking we could go get ice cream while it’s still light out?” Simon 2 says. They all have slightly different personalities. Simon 2 goes stir-crazy, and Simon 4 goes me crazy, although he’s polite about it. (Simon 6 is not polite about it, which is its own brand of alluring.)

#snowbaz #carry on #baz pitch #wayward son #simon snow series #my fics #wip wednesday

[iwaisuke]

confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

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