#if anyone wants to know why im v against falling in love w my best friend | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kiss4kazu · 4 years

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Hi! could I request some headcanons for what kissing Ashe and Dimitri (Felix too if thats not too much if not its fine) would be like for the first time?

☆ first time kisses with ashe, dimitri, felix

↳ ashe babie boy

although ashe is really innocent and pure i think he’s easily one of the most romantic in blue lions and would really go above and beyond always for the person he loves.

i know a lot of people probably see ashe as someone being too reluctant and nervous to actually ever make a move first but i think if he really liked someone, he’d be extremely obvious about it, blushing like crazy, a stuttering mess, etc and after enough pep talks from sylvain he’d finally make a move to ask u out on a date and it would be an absolute wreck.

would literally put together something so fckin cheesy n corny but in the most adorably ashe way that it makes you want to punch him from being so precious

like a cute picnic or something by a lake and he’d make cute little cakes with some help from annette and it would just be so pure.

he’d rehearse how he’s going to confess in his head like a million times but when the moment actually comes it ends up just being a jumbled up mess filled with “ums” and he’d try to stick to the script him and sylvain came up with and get out a “y-you’re r-really… u-uh… p-pretty..” but then he’d fuck it all up by saying something weird n dorky like “a-and you s-smell really nice… w-wait that’s weird i’m sorry-” and you’d just hold back ur laughter, ur heart swelling with so so much affection for him.

ofc he’d ask for permission to kiss you, cheeks crimson and his eyes looking up at yours like tht one starry eyed emoji. you’d give him a vocal response, since he rly needs that reassurance. no stutters just “of course ashe” and he’d smile so so big and then just swoop down totally uncoordinated.

would probs miss your lips and have to readjust.

kissing ashe for the first time would be … messy. he’s not experienced at all, and doesn’t know what to do with his hands and he’d honestly be a dead fish for a good few moments. but as you ease him more into the kiss, he’d loosen up a bit, tilt his head and just stop overthinking. his lips would be really warm and would taste so sweet from the cake and he’d smile so hard into the kiss that your teeth end up bumping into each other and you’d pull away laughing

ashe kisses are the best honestly the butterflies fireworks the whole shebang yknow.

as he gets more confident he’d probably try out a few things he’s seen in books like slipping his tongue in and would be completely taken aback by just how nice it feels. would probably whine into the kiss, cradle your face in his hands, and once you guys pull apart for some air he’d just breathe heavily against your lips with the dopiest smile on his face :( <3

he’d be rly slap happy after kissing you for the first time and would probably tackle u onto the picnic blanket laughing from happiness kissing your face everywhere and showering you in compliments, shoving his face into ur neck and just breathing in ur scent.

he’s very clingy ok.

↳ dimi !!

whew. ok so we’re gonna do academy phase dimi since feral dimi is uh… probs not sfw & violent skjdfjslkjfd

academy phase dimi knows NOTHING about kissing n he has 0 experience so it takes him forever n a day to finally get the balls to kiss u and when he does … whew.

i can imagine kissing dimi to be during like , a deep convo or something late at night, when he’s having trouble sleeping or something and ur just running ur fingers through his hair, listening to him as he vents and admiring the sound of his voice bc he’s always more talkative at the dead of night when he’s sleep deprived.

he’d just look at u so so lovingly and it would be suffocating and ur just staring at his lips but u know ur probs way in over ur head bc uh he’s the future king of faerghus

but then he’d ask for permission too like ashe tbh bc he’s just polite like tht and has too good mannerisms

plus he cares a lot about your comfort and would never want to make u feel unsafe or uncomfy especially by his doing

and you would nod with quickness n he’d waste not a second to connect ur lips

kissing dimi is like a trance tbh, type of kiss that feels like something in u is short-circuiting

literally the type of kiss that makes ur knees buckle u know the ones.

he’s a rly rly good kisser n it makes no sense bc he’s literally never kissed anyone before in his life n it kind of makes u mad bc why is he perfect

a rly rly passionate kisser and he can be kind of rougher than he intends to bc he’s not good with fragile things

clearly v dominant in the kiss, one hand with an iron grip on ur hip the other tangled up behind ur neck, gripping ur hair. after a while gets reluctant and starts to overthink things and pulls away apologizing for being too rough

you’d probs have to reassure him a million times tht its okay dimi ur not hurting me!!

he’s rly touch starved tbh so he always tends to take pecks into full-blown makeout sessions or when he intends to just kiss ur forehead he ends up kissing ur cheeks too, ur jaw, down ur neck just riling himself up tbh and then he finally looks up at u with his eyes all dark n ur just like … here we go

did i mention he groans a lot during kisses bc he does

dimi’s other sides shining through when his emotions overwhelm him is just .. dimitri 101.

he’s rough, seemingly an expert at this shit, his tongue shoving past your lips and completely taking u off guard. he’d literally kiss you so hard your head would spin and he’d do it all with a blush on his face bc he’s still a shy babie. as soon as the moment is over he’s back to stuttering n being all awkward boyish prince.

he’s also the type to shower u in compliments between kisses.

kisses lips “you’re so gorgeous” smooches neck “so amazing” kisses jaw “goddess i love you”

im scream crying

↳ felix too bc WHY NOT ! i love him

listen.

this little fucker kisses the life out of people u heard it here first folks.

he’s 100% a heat of the moment type of kisser. it could go two ways tbh. like if you got hurt or something on his behalf he’d scream at you with glossy eyes for a good 5 minutes and then just stare at you all >:( and then he’d just grab you and kiss the fuck out of you.

probably the most passionate kisser out of the three, he kisses to the point where u can’t feel ur toes and stuff he’d just completely indulge without any fucks given bc he almost lost you and he’s not good with explaining his emotions so hopefully this helps you understand.

the other way i can see a first kiss going down with felix is more.. vulnerable, despite his hard exterior. he is rough and mean but it’s not bc he’s genuinely a bad person he just has walls built up so high tht its impossible for anyone to rly climb over

to get a kiss from lix, u definitely have to have climbed over tht wall of his, or just fly a wrecking ball through it n send it crumbling to the ground

you’re literally the only exception, the only person who can rly get through to him

he’d probably turn to you for comfort a lot, when dimitri agitates him with memories of glenn or his dad says something that ticks him off and he wants to punch something he’d just go to you instead, knock on ur door and just waltz in like he owns the place, sitting down on ur bed and u would know he wants cuddles bc this is how felix communicates

if he had to actually say “i want cuddles” out loud he’d probably shoot himself in the foot with an arrow so he’s glad u understand, u always understand him just by looking at him n it’s reassuring bc he’s never been good with words.

its kind of cringe to him that he likes being held but shocker he likes being held

he also rly rly likes it when u play with his hair he’s like a cat he will literally start nuzzling into you, so warm and pliant to your touch

ok im getting distracted back to the kissing shit

felix would probably just be rly overwhelmed with emotions n he doesn’t rly know how to tell u “i like u” so he just says “im going to kiss you.” like a literal statement n then he does it n ur just like o-o bc wtf.

if ur not responsive at first he’d just pull away after a while and wouldn’t meet eyes with u and be all blushy.

would let out a tch like the little shit that he is, and u have to turn his face so he’s properly looking at u again and meeting eyes with u

he looks so vulnerable and stupidly gorgeous so u kiss him this time so he knows the feeling is mutual and it’d take him a min to really gather whats happening but once he does he’d literally. suck. the. life. out. of. your. face. period.

felix kisses r rough n messy n just completely self-indulgent and he groans shamelessly when u pull his hair tie out from his bun and tug at his hair yes i have a thing for felix’s hair leave me alone.

gives 0 fucks would literally shove his tongue down your throat pull you flush against him and he always calls sylvain insatiable but rly its this fucker who’s insatiable he is literally eating your face.

you’d have to pull him away from you and he’d just pant so hard against your lips and look at you like he wants to devour you and its kind of overwhelming bc he’s fucking hot !!!!!

would shove his face into ur neck and mumble out an “i like you” and u would tease him n be like “what did you say i cant hear u?” and he’d elbow u in the ribs and groan into ur neck and u would laugh n kiss his head, telling him u like him too

at tht he’d lift his head up, his hair falling over his amber eyes and u would just push the strands away from his face and kiss him softly one last time before going back 2 ur conversation about punching sylvain’s face or sumn

anyway i love felix thanks 4 coming to my ted talk.

requests are open! <3

- vivi ★

#fe3h #fe3h imagines #fe3h requests #fe3h headcanons #dimitri x reader #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #felix fraldarius #felix x reader #ashe ubert #ashe x reader #ashe duran #blue lions

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hobiwonder · 4 years

Text

Adventures of a closeted exhibitionist | 01 (m)

Pairing: hoseok x reader, f2l (future)

Genre: do i ever write anything other than smut

Words: 3k

Warnings: exhibitionism lol, hoseok is a FREAK freak, oral (f receiving), dirty talk.

Summary: where hoseok explores with his bff. i hope u like it pls validate me.

a/n: this is an idea I pitched to @parkmuse and she n i were going to collab but then she got a cat and DITCHED ME (jeepers is v cute ngl). so instead of a full length one shot, im gunna make this a series. like a small one lol. this is unedited beyond microsoft putting the annoying red lines to tell me im illiterate.

It was roughly 9pm. Despite it being a Friday night, there were a fair few people still drifting about in the 24 hour library. This time of the semester being closer to the exam time you guess this isn’t such an atypical incidence. What was rare though, was you being here. On a Friday night. Where you’re usually getting shit-faced with your friends at Park Jimin’s weekly parties. Not here with your best friend Hoseok – who frequented the place more than you, actually – about to have sex with him. Yup. You heard right.

“Can you walk faster y/n? We’ll lose our spot!” His hurried whisper didn’t do much to mask and the nervous tremble in his voice. It was obvious your best friend wasn’t very adventurous and thus here you were, helping him out.

Slightly regretting your decision. This place was more crowded than you thought. You run forward to catch up with Hoseok’s long legs that kept weaving through the massive bookshelves with ease. Whereas if you were here by yourself – you’d certainly be lost.

“We won’t with the speed you are walking. Slow down, Hoseok.” Grumbling under your breath as you see no sign of him stopping to let you remember the way you guys had come to this part of the quiet library, you just opt to following him around like a lost puppy. Usually it’s the other way around.

Especially when Hoseok had asked you one day to try public sex with him.

“Well well well, never knew my reclusive best friend was such an exhibitionist.” You’d been whistling and hooting while smirking his way, watching him shuffle on his feet awkwardly. He was never too confident in speaking about his sex life and watching him squirm was so much fun to the evil part of your brain. Not that he had much of a sex life to expose. Hosoek was a sweet boy who did relationships. Long term ones. And he hadn’t even been on a date recently.

“W-Well, I’m not. Not yet. I’ve never tried anything like that. And you obviously have.”

You’d just shrugged nonchalantly in response.

“So… I want to try something. With you.” Naturally, your response had been to blink repeatedly, making sure you heard him right.

“No fucking way, Josè.”

“Please, please, please?! I don’t trust anyone other than you to do this with and not be weird about it.”

“What about you get an actual girlfriend Hobi? Hm? Ever thought of that.” He’d rubbed his temple with a pout on his face when you’d mockingly knocked your fingers against it. How did he not see how attractive he was? He could get anyone. Literally anyone.

“I haven’t had luck in that department, you know that.” Him gritting his answer through his teeth is probably one of the most frustrated you’d seen him and it makes you snort.

“Then just find someone willing and fuck her at the party?” The crude words bring a blush to his pretty face. How does he even plan on having sex in public?

“You know I can’t do that.” Shaking his head, he turns back towards you, “Besides… I don’t want it to be just anywhere. I want to d-do this at the library.” Your eyes had bugged out of your head once again at that. How did you not know how kinky your best friend was?

“Oh my god.” You can’t help the giggles that fight their way through your throat, “I cannot believe it Hoseok! You’re such a closeted freak.” Now you were full on cackling.

“Stop. I just wanted to try something.” The pout was back on his face and the little glazed look he had in his eyes had diminished slightly.

“Yeah and public sex from the get go? What will you be ‘trying’ next? Pegging and Anal?”

His brows furrow adorably. “What’s pegging?”

“Oookay. Let’s just get back to the topic at hand.” You didn’t want to give him any more ideas. Yet.

Somehow in the next few hours, you’d agreed to sleep with your best friend. At a library at that.

And here you were, nestled in a corner at one of the desks that were set up between the isles for people who wanted to browse journals and other various literature. Where you both sat was relatively isolated. Only the people who occasionally walked past the isles would be able to see two people sitting at a table – the table shielding your lower halves of the body – and only if they looked. The table was set against one of the isles and that would probably be the only concerning area. That someone on the other side of that shelf would be able to decipher what was going on. Okay maybe this was making you rethink your decision. Just a little.

“So, what do you think?” Hoseok was panting slightly as he looked around you both repeatedly, making sure no one was lingering on the fact that two students had disappeared off to a section that they could do more than study in. But you couldn’t see anything of the sort. Just everyone minding their own business for now. Besides, how loud could you both be anyway? This shouldn’t take too long.

“Pretty good. You must come here a lot to know such a precise spot?” Brows wagging teasingly in his direction, making his cheeks flare up even more.

“I do. But to study usually so this feels a bit… exhilarating.” His face tells you how excited he is but he is definitely nervous as well if the sweating is anything to go by.

You bump your shoulder slightly with his to ease his worries. “Hey, don’t sweat it. Literally.” You can’t help the laugh that he then tries to muffle with his hand. “No really! I’m very good at quickies.”

Your wink makes him blush but he still seems apprehensive. “It’s not that… I’m. Well. I-I can kind of lose control sometimes.”

You continue to deadpan him. Hoseok and losing control? Were you hearing correctly? Your sweet, nerdy, studious, calm and collected, shy best friend losing control? It can’t be that bad, right?

“I’m serious y/n. B-But I’ll try to keep in check.”

“…Okay. Anyway. You ready?” There is a moment of silence and it is quiet. You can hear when Hoseok swallows, the way he drags his gaze all over your coat cladded form and then finally, looks into your eyes. You never noticed how attractive Hoseok was up-close and that was what was making you nervous.

“I-I think so? How are we going to do this? Shit I didn’t think about the logistics through before coming here.” Hoseok had started to nervous ramble so you decided to take matters into your hand by sitting directly on his lap, facing him.

“W-Wha…. Is this how we’re- Wouldn’t that look too suspicious.” You tried not to roll your eyes.

“We’re about to screw in a library surrounded by people. Anything we do will make us look like horny college kids. At least this way if someone catches us people will think we’re only making out or something.”

Hoseok’s pretty mouth falls open in an ‘o’ understanding your reasoning. The law library is more dimly lit compared to others so it was easier to fly under the radar. It was obvious that Hoseok had brought you here to take full advantage of that. If Hoseok tends to lose control as he's said, it shouldn't attract too much attention even if he's a tad too loud. Wait, is it even about his volume?

Leaning down you level your face to his baby browns while he leans back as if you're infectious and not about to have sex, "What do you mean about lose control by the way? You're not going to scream up a storm are you? I swear to god Hoseok if you get us arrested-"

"It's not me you should be worried about," the reply comes without any stutters unlike how he spoke before, making your breath hitch. He's calm and collected, gaze slithering down your body like you were an otherworldly marvel.

This was not how you'd seen your best friend act in all the years you'd known him. Never have you felt this attracted to your usually shy, meek friend who seemed to be the most quaint person in your group of friends. Perhaps that's why you'd never really sexualised him before. Though it did always baffle you how he managed to date the prettiest girls.

"Okay weirdo."

The tremble in your voice is barely masked but you try and regain some of your composure by aggressively adjusting and slipping down your panties to mid thigh. Effectively breaking Hoseok's bravado when he audibly gulps, looking around him. It doesn't take long for you to feel the effects of your activities as Hoseok already feels considerably solid underneath you. A flush of embarrassment evident in your cheeks when he rubs the damp material of your panties between his index finger and thumb.

"You're so wet, y/n." The skin of your naked thighs covered in goosebumps with each carrels of Hoseok's veiny hands. When did they get so callous? The feeling brought another embarrassing amount of wetness down your thighs.

"S-Sorry." You shook your own head at your apology. Why did you say sorry? Guys love that, you knew.

Somehow, it felt different with Hoseok. You were being a lot more conscious about his likes and dislikes instead of your own. Which should've been a red flag. Yet, you continued with the dangerous game you were both playing. The perspiration on Hoseok's forehead gave away how affected he was as well despite the cool temperature inside the library.

"Are you kidding? I've... I've never been this turned on in my whole life."

You don't get a chance to respond, only garbled gasps when his cool fingers slip between your thighs, massaging the slick in the sensitive skin that connected your inner thighs to your pussy.

"H-Hoseok." His thumbs spread the wetness from your nether lips back to the sensitive patch of skin.

"Is this okay?" You're too caught up in the heat of the moment and the thousands of nerve endings that Hoseok's fingers were stimulating.

Your head was lolling around like you were drunk and that was enough indication for him to carry on. It was terrifying how little he had done and you were already lacking the ability to comprehend anything other than his touch. Your hands were dropping beneath you carelessly, trying to find the hard length that was persistently pressing in you. You were turned on beyond belief and you needed to feel Hoseok inside you. Now.

Hoseok had other plans.

"Slow down, y/n." His chuckle is breezy, albeit a little throatier than usual. But it doesn't stop your quest to get your hands inside his pants.

"Hoseok I need you to get inside me." Your plan to be stern backfires.

You had hoped that telling Hoseok you meant business would get him to submit to you like it usually does. However, the heady look in his eyes tells you otherwise. You're proven wrong when instead, Hoseok locks his eyes with yours, as if challenging the autonomy you had in this situation. You're unable to move, just feel as the plunge of his nimble fingers inside you has you gripping his shoulders for a lifeline. Your head was already mushy and all basic comprehension had gone out the door. The sounds accompanying each agonising push and pull extremely erotic, making the blush bloom deeper on your already heated skin.

The onslaught of sensations had made it easy to forget about the world around you. If someone was to catch you right now, you weren't sure if you would let Hoseok stop the delicious friction inside you. The way he looked at his fingers sliding their rhythm inside you, completely entranced by your body, made another gush of wetness flow down his thrusting digits. He had barely fingered you for five minutes and you were already like a full damn ready to burst. Hoseok finally looked up when the scissoring motion of his fingers made you gasp loud enough to startle him.

it was getting increasingly difficult to keep your volume down. Now you knew why Hoseok had redirected the question about being quiet, to you. His other hands wrapped around your hips, just above the dip in your spine to keep you from thrashing off his lap. You were at the point where your body was so close that every thrust of his wrist bordered on pushing you over the edge. Body moving towards the movement and away from it in the same second.

“I don’t think I want that just yet.” His lips shone from the constant contact with his tongue.

Maybe he was giving you a tongue show on purpose. To be even more cruel when you were already suffering (in the best way possible). Hoseok was always mischievous. Not as obvious as your other friends like Taehyung or Jungkook. And you were finding out just how devious he is. Dragging on the assault on your pussy. Stretching the thread until you’re clawing your hands down his back, whispering ‘please’ like a symphony.

“You like this?”

“Y-Yes Hoseok. Please just f-fuck me already.” Your threatening growl only makes him smirk and fasten the pace of the three fingers inside you.

“I really wanna watch you squirt y/n. With all these people just a few feet away. Can you do that for me?”

His whispers near your ear makes you flinch away with each word. Body so sensitive to any form of stimulation that you were scared you were going to cum just from listening to the low timbre of his voice. Hoseok’s eyes were glazed over, the hard insistent bulge was digging in your thighs with even more ferocity. Yet, he denied himself the pleasure you were so readily offering. Why was he torturing the both of you like this, ugh.

Suddenly, he pushes you back against the table behind you, making you grasp the wooden edges in order to brace yourself. However, the action left you exposed, skirt pushed up enough to reveal Hoseok’s hands rhythmically pushing forward and backwards. The open position of your thighs and the air now touching your heated skin making you feel everything just a bit more. His fingers were hitting the spongy spot on the top of your walls just right that you’re whimpering and clenching your hands around the wood, just not the type you wanted to be holding.

“F-Fuck Hoseok if w-we get caught p-people-”

“Will see your cunt swallowing my fingers? I know y/n.” His smile is devilish. He’s reveling in your fear of being found out and you know this is exactly what his fantasy is.

Your breathing is harsh and you’re bordering on being a little too loud. It becomes even more of a problem when you start feeling the zaps of pleasure in your core that are hurtling you towards completion. Hoseok’s angled fingers repeat the motions that elicited the response when he sees you thrashing.

“Right there huh? That feel good?”

You can’t speak. Biting so hard on your lip, trying to not scream blooding murder, that tears are pooling in your eyes, blurring your vision. The strength in your arms leaves as you collapse on the table, head pushing back and one hand going to hold the one almost fisting inside you. You’re so close you can almost taste it. Everything is too much and it’s an impossible feat to stay quiet and inconspicuous.

“God, you’re being so loud. If you’re any louder people will hear you cumming all the way from outside.” And yet he doesn’t sound concerned.

Hoseok’s eyes are feral, watching you hold on to his hand while his wrist is snapping powerfully towards that one spot that has you seeing spots. You’re moaning even louder now and he has to get up from his seat to put his other hand around your mouth to drown out your sounds that are going straight to his dick. God, you were so sexy he was going to cum in his pants from just watching the tears roll down the side of your face.

“Yeah? You’re gunna cum baby? Squirt all over my fingers?”

He wasn’t expecting a response from you with how fucked out you were but your eyes peering into his let him know that you heard him. And that you were going to cum. Hoseok slips his thumb up to your clit, rolling it in tandem with his deep thrusts and within seconds, you’re screaming out your orgasm. Your cunt grabbing his fingers like a vice but Hoseok is still dragging his digits along your walls to prolong the pleasure. His whole hand is thoroughly wet because you indeed, squirted like he asked.

It’s hard to comprehend if what you experienced was a fever dream or you actually blacked out for a few seconds because of how hard you came. You’re still breathing hard and you feel hoseok’s hand ease around your mouth. He’s pressing kisses along your decolletage, fingers till lazily moving inside you until you’re pushing them away.

“That was so hot. Thank you y/n, you’re the best.” You were getting whiplash from how he’d turned back into his sickly sweet self when he was just giving you the best orgasm of your life a few minutes ago.

“Yeah, w-well, I may not be able to walk out of here.” you can’t quite look him in the eyes yet. Not when he’d just fucked your brains out and real fucking was about to come.

“Don’t worry, I think you’ve had enough today so that’s for next time.” He smiles his 1000 watt smile at you before sucking the wetness off his fingers. Your face is so red you might pass out.

Next time?

#bts smut #hoseok smut #hoseok x reader #btsghostiewritersnet #hobiwonder #pls tell me ur thots xx

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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Hii. Two people in my family r v self-righteous. They make unreasonable requests, then when those 'requests' arnt met obvii, they get v... You'll see

Many times they do things that exclude the certain person they're 'targeting' and will pretend its the other person (the target) who's acting wrong. Theyll team up and exclude the target, and if you mention this, they get v defensive and together lash out against the speaker, listijg long random details of how the speaker did so and so. And most of it is, frankly, unfair and unreasonable 'reasons'

Ive been the target, and so have others in my family. But these two refuse to get how hurtful and self-righteous their actions are! I say self righteous becaus they literally are convinced they have the 'right' to 'act' this way, as it seems so justified in their eyes. I can't deal with this, esp as it's a sensitice tkpic and in the past id fall into their guilt traps and as a result had near zero esteem + became a pushover at school. I'd think if im not being of use to anyonez or if I say no, it's so wrong and I'm a bad guy who has to suffer for that. Thanks to these Law blogs on tumbler and other things ive learned... That thinking is so victim-y blegh. Good for me, lol

Things in my family, as u can guess, aren't that great, thanks to this weird clique-ish behavjor, and other reasons too. But this reason, it's not only me who's facing this behavior? It's others too? And frankly idec abt this behavior that much coz I'm used to it and i am trying to see it as a challenge to improve my self concept eg realising it shouldn't really matter to me if I'm excluded and they make plans w/o me. Why shd I let myself get hurt? I can use this to realise im the one who can create and besides, I've been working on an assumption in which I'm leaving this place (not much success thereyet, but im spinning this in a positive way, if evrything is neutral!)

Ik why this happens to me - it's evry time I accept my olf assumptions on them acting this way, this creates more of the old story-- but why does it happen to others too? Or how can I make them realise wth they're doing? Theyre only damaging themselves anyway :(

Sorry for being all over the place

And also, I said im working on my self concept, so I found out some major beliefs I had, and while meditating i discovered this random old memory from when I was a child ig which I think is where I started to buy into me being guilty and ashamed of who I am. Ik this stuff is what they call shadow work but still do u know where I can go from here? How do I work with this awful memory? To like put it away forever, coz I thought being aware of it would be enough, but it isnt. Some say forgive urself, and the others in the memory, but idk it doesn't seem to work for me. I don't feel relief. Do u have experience with this? Or do u have a resource u could share with me that deals with this safely?

Ok bye bye luvv u

Hi!

Firstly I want to say I'm sorry this is something you are experiencing. But thanks to the law, you have the power to change it for good.

That being said, I think this is why it's really important to go all in when you come to the law of assumption. It's a lot deeper than just manifesting things. You can't be one foot in, one foot out when it comes to the law. You have to acknowledge all the concepts and learn how to apply them. You're experiencing a lot more grief over this topic, because of how you're not applying "everyone is you pushed out." Taking full responsibility for every aspect of the law, and therefore every aspect of your life, will lead you to the solutions you're seeking.

"but why does it happen to others too? Or how can I make them realise wth they're doing?"

It's not happening to anyone else. It's only happening to you and you're experiencing it happening to "others" because of how you're keeping this reality alive. You don't have to make them realize anything, not by force anyway. All you have to do is go within. There is no one to change but self. Period. There's a really good article that could help you get on the right track with this:

No One To Change But Self

When it comes to that memory, from my experience the best I could ever do is let it be and know how it means nothing anymore. Even if it still hurts. The thing is, self concept work has more to do with building self confidence. And this confidence lies in remembering who you really are: God of your reality. The more you focus on that instead, the pain surrounding the memory will begin to dissolve on it's own. Because you know how anything not aligned with love just simply isn't the truth anymore. I think this following article could be helpful in giving you an idea on how to navigate difficult inner moments.

Self Acceptance

I hope this is helpful! 💖

#eiypo #i am

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yievie · 4 years

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whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister.

~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~

under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY

( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )

background

the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!

woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking, >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd

during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.

her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!

they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?

not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.

the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns

but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.

fun facts?

evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP

very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn

LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to

as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably

her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour

loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh

bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere

not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from

never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes

is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY

weird plots???

best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly

enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it

u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up

just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~

past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO

ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama

hit on her itll b funny

anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off

someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK

someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa

any of the college kids need a tutor?

roommates?

ANYTHING PLS HMU <333

#;;ooc ( out of crissy ).#hello this is angry daughter shes scary but we stan #sorry this was so long pls hmu #ALSO LOOK AT MY COOL ICON!!

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warmau · 5 years

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ma'am i need a cupid!au from your hands

here is my humble offering 2 you: cupid!yukhei

ever since february creeped up around the corner you’ve been mercilessly attacked with what you call - the valentines day craze

hearts everywhere - pink everything - couples on your left, couples on your right

matching sweaters, discount chocolates, huge teddy bears you can’t even pick up

valentines day is e v e r y w h e r e

and all it does is remind you about how,,,,,,,,,,,un-in-love you are

which sucks because you want to be in love - of course you do, but there just hasn’t been that person yet

you haven’t had that spark that the media and all the songs on billboard are raving about

the spark you see in your friends eyes when they talk about their partner

the spark you see between people kissing on the subway platform, from teenagers getting all giddy about it to couples with three kids prancing around them

you always try to brush it off, think that it’ll happen one day, that it’s all up to fate

but deep down you’re not sure you believe that

“where is cupid when i need him, huh?”

you mumble, walking past the tenth flickering neon sign advertising a couple in a sweet embrace - come inside and pick up some flowers for that special someone!

unknown to you though, is that there is a cupid

and his name is wong yukhei

and he’s ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, not that good at the job yet

he’s been trying to pick a partner for you since last year, his sidekick and fellow angel ten quips that yukhei needs to stop stalling

just pull back his arrow and shoot it right through your heart - make you fall in love with that boy you hang around with - jaehyun maybe? or the tutor you go to on the weekend - taeil is it?

but yukhei bickers with ten, he can’t just make you fall in love with anyone

you deserve the perfect person

and he’s going to find him for you

ten crosses his hands, soft halo made of roses tilting along with his head

“and whose the perfect person for them then?”

yukhei sighs, he parts the clouds that block his view of you

and he flutters his wings just to fly a little closer

“don’t you see ten - they need someone whose going to protect them! but not someone who overdoes it, who thinks being macho is cool. they need someone goofy, who can brighten them up with a good laugh. someone who cares deeply, but still has some childlike wonder in them.”

yukhei’s shoulders sag and he mutters to himself

“that jaehyun kid is way too polite, and taeil wouldnt know a good joke if it hit him like a truck”

ten scrunches up his nose

“yukhei,,,,,,,,,,”

yukhei turns and ten sighs

cupid angels are known for their flowery halos, their light blush pink togas, and their inhumane beauty

which yukhei has - since he’s a cupid angel himself - but he also has something that’s not very good

he has an affinity for his human

“i think we both know why you won’t make them fall in love.”

yukhei’s eyes widen

“ten- no - c’mon you know i wouldnt - im not -”

ten puts his hands on his hips, “uhuh - someone goofy with childlike wonder, but still strong enough to protect them? yukhei,,,,,,,you described yourself.”

yukhei looks down, he doesn’t want to admit it but it is a little true

it’s not like he intended to be assigned to you! to get someone who matched him this well!

so instead he just tries to argue with ten again, but ten isn’t having it

“can’t believe im doing this but -”

yukhei opens his mouth as he watches ten equip his arrow and before he can say anything and stop him

the arrow goes right through yukhei’s chest - traveling like a light bolt past his body, past the clouds, past the earth and bursting right against your back

you freeze for a moment, because it feels like an electric shock has passed through your skin

what was that?

you think, but shake it off as a side effect of the slightly cold weather

you turn the corner and just before you can look up - you find yourself head first in someones backpack

sputtering out an apology as you teeter backwards

“hey, are you ok?”

you rub your nose where you’d planted it into their bag and mumble that you’re fine

but when your gaze meets the face the voice is coming from you nearly choke on your word

the boy is tall, with light brown eyes that sparkle like no other humans

his hair is slightly messy, but not enough to make him look bad and he smiles so bright that you think you might have just walked into the sun

he puts a hand out and you squeak because it’s the size of your face as he brushes your cheek

“are you sure you’re ok? do you want to go to the pharmacy so i can get you some ice?”

he asks and you are at such a loss for words that you don’t realize you’re following him to the store

till you’re inside and he’s about to pick out some bandaids

you snap out of it, finding your voice and going

“o-oh it’s ok. really-”

he turns again and you fluster at how deep his gaze can be

“i don’t mind the money, if you’re hurt i should-”

“no! no really im ok,,,,,”

he straightens back up and looks around for a moment, then claps his hands together like he’s thought of something brilliant

“wait here a sec”

he asks and you don’t know why you’re listening to a stranger - but you do as your told

only for him to return back a few minutes later and reveal a fluffy white bear from behind his back

it’s one of those valentines day bears, that come with a little rose and a candy bar

you feel your face heat up and again you don’t know what to say

you touch the bear and open the little card attached to its ear

to your surprise it says your name, and what you can only assume is the boys

“y-yukhei? is that your name?”

you look up and the boy nods

“yep! and i did spell your name right,,,,,,,,i hope,,,,,ten always says im a bit of a clutz with names so -”

he leans over and he’s so close you can smell the faint scent of what seems like flowers on him

you feel all embarrassed again, not sure what to say or do

but yukhei doesn’t seem like he means anything else but the best

and when you catch one of the pharmacy employees giggling out of the corner of your eye

whispering to a co-worker “look at that, another cute couple!”

you think you might just fall over, all the while yukhei reminds himself to get ten back for shooting him with that arrow

even though,,,,he’s not all that mad about it anyway,,,,,

#nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct au #wayv scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv au #yukhei imagines #yukhei scenarios #yukhei au #lucas scenarios #lucas imagines #lucas au #nct #wayv #member: lucas #member: yukhei #sfw #cupid!au #valentines day is sooooooooo close sigh

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feel199x · 5 years

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street racer!lee minho, gods of olympus! au

⚡ chapters: I II III IV V VI masterlist

⚡ a/n: there’s like. So Much Sexual Tension that i didn’t intend and its not gonna go anywhere,,, im sorry but Minho’s hoe spirit possessed me while i wrote this chapter

⚡ warnings: sexual tension?? does that count??

⚡ song rec: angel of small death & the codeine scene

Minho hadn’t called you on the bus ride home, nor did he show up at your apartment the night. He didn’t call you the following nights either. He was, however making your life a fuck ton harder. For three full days, it had been pouring. The first day you had made the mistake of riding in the rain, figuring it would’ve cleared up by the afternoon. But it hadn’t. You had to get to an afternoon class, but you had no spare money to afford riding the bus every day to work. Being a broke college student was difficult, but not everyone could make their weight in money with illicit activities. You didn’t really mind the rain as long as you were inside. The pattering of raindrops against your window was comforting, and it helped calm your nerves as you studied, even if the person causing it was an asshole. You hadn’t blocked Minho’s number, not yet anyway, but figured that he had probably ghosted you anyway- so it didn’t matter.

Besides, you never paid much attention to boys, anyway. Your studies were more important to you, and you literally could not afford to lose the scholarships you busted your ass in high school to get. You knew college would be hard, but you had no idea it would be this difficult. None of these questions made sense- but you needed to study. You never struggled this much with Criminology concepts, but you found yourself rereading the same parts over and over, it wasn’t clicking. It was two am now, and you had a class at eight, ten, noon, and then a shift at the bakery- where you were filling in for a co-worker who had gotten sick. You weren’t even planning on falling asleep, but you woke up from your alarm, wiping drool from your lip as you got up.

This was just your life, it could be worse. You could be in a lot more debt, and your mental health could plummet- but it hadn’t, not yet. You knew if you kept pushing yourself like this than he would eventually crash and burn, but whatever. At least you would go out in a burning glory. You shook your head at the thought, mentally scolding yourself. Recovery didn’t work if you weren’t constantly checking yourself- as annoying as it was, it worked. You promised yourself and made a reminder on your phone to take a day off this week. You needed to relax, or next thing you know you would find yourself attached to your bed, glued to it with tears and a sweaty sadness.

You walked into the lecture hall, being the first one as you always were because you made it a point to actually ask for help. But the professor and his regular t.a wasn’t there.

“Are you lost?” He smiled and laughed as if you had said something funny. You grew anxious and insecure, it wouldn’t be the first time people had teased you like that. “No, not at all,” he said, “I’m the new teacher’s assistant.” You eyed him suspiciously, “What happened to the last one?” He pulled up his sleeves, and you felt embarrassed as he revealed his veiny arms. He twirled his pen and smiled again at you.

“He’s under a new teacher, now.”

“Who?”

“Mr. Park.”

“That’s a convenient answer.”

“It’s the convenient truth.”

“What’s your name?”

“Chan, darl-”

“Oh, fuck off.”

He crossed his arms, slightly surprised at your boldness. “Pardon?” You groaned, gripping your school supplies. “You’re one of those high and mighty gods, right? You and Minho can fuck right off.” He eased into the desk chair, chuckling to himself. “He’s already messed up, huh? I promised I wouldn’t interfere, but-”

“You also could’ve lied about your name.”

“Slip of the tongue. I doubt you wouldn’t figure it out, anyway.”

“What do you want?”

“To help.”

“With what? I’m done with Minho.”

“But you like him.”

“So? Doesn’t mean he’s not an asshole. I’m not here to teach him how to love, what kind of outdated shit is that? I don’t care that you’re a god, and I don’t care that he’s a god. Means fuck all to me.”

“Ah, you’re smart. Athena took well in creating you. But, it is fated. You’ll teach him one way or another.”

“Chan?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t give a shit.”

You probably could’ve reviewed the material with Chan, and maybe he was a nice guy- but you didn’t want to deal with anyone that was even slightly supernatural. You weren’t even going to look at your horoscope. You just wanted to graduated and take the bar exam, hell, maybe even try for a spot at a place with higher level cases. But one thing you were not about to do was about to do is let yourself slip into a game of cat and mouse, you were here to study. If you needed to take a break, you would- but “taking a break” didn’t mean worrying about a boy. If you wanted to worry, you would take the practice bar exam again.

You found the professor calling on you an absurd amount of times, and you shot Chan a death glare. He winked at you, a stupid smirk on his face and shrugged. You heard peers murmur, but Chan just looked amused, even winking at some of them. Were all gods like this? If Chan, the leader of the gods was this chaotic, how would you deal? Being the one you thought you’d like the most, you were severely disappointed. You flew out of your seat as the class ended, but found yourself caught in a sea of eager college students- you were so close to making your way out of the lecture hall doors when your professor called you.

“____, I’m sorry about being late this morning, but I had an incident with my car. I still have to solve the issue, but Chan can stay after. He said you were struggling with theory? I’ve provided a practice exam for you to Chan. Please don’t leave until you’ve got a passing grade.” He left unceremoniously, bidding a polite goodbye as he walked the both of you to a college library.

“I’m not struggling with theory.”

“You’ll start to. You have a bad habit of not knowing your limits.”

“Thanks, Sherlock.”

You sat a table in the back, a room reserved for group studies. “I have another class soon.”

“It’s taken care of, love. I’m going to get some coffee, please don’t go.”

You sighed, you had to finish the practice test after Chan explained the material, and it was unrealistic to think you’d be able to get to your second class. You could use a break anyway, it’s not like missing one creative writing class would kill you. Not physically anyway.

“Here you go,” he plopped a cup on the table, along with a pastry bag, “you should eat.”

“Are you actually going to help me study?”

“Sure, but I think we should talk about Minho first.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

He shut your textbook gently and pulled it away from you. “There’s a lot to talk about. I know Minho can be the worst, but there’s a lot more to him. I know it’s hard, but you’re going to have to trust me.” You wrapped your hands around the coffee cup, the warmth spreading to your hands. The rain was still pouring if it continued the town would flood. You didn’t understand why Minho was being so intense, maybe you shouldn’t have snapped but it wasn’t like he was a saint either.

“Why should I trust you?”

“I’m the one who sent him down here- well, with some pressure from the fates but still. I promise I’m the sanest up there, well second to Woojin.”

“Then why isn’t Woojin here?”

“He’s solving some other matters.”

“Like?”

“Ah, I can’t tell you that. But we’re moving away from the point. Just talk to Minho, honestly, once.”

“Already tried.”

“I know, but hopefully, I can help.”

“W-?”

Chan snapped his fingers, shooting you a somewhat apologetic look but turned to Minho looking smug. “What do you want?” You laughed, crossing your arms and leaning back into the cushioned seat. “Do you have something you want to say?” he snapped, “Oh wait, you already had your tantrum in the most expensive restaurant in town.” You knew better than to provoke Minho in this state, he knew what words that to use to hurt- and if he got any angrier, he would lose control. You weren’t laughing at him in the first place rather than yourself for getting into this situation. But whatever, Minho took it personally and even though you were tired of always being the bigger person- someone had to be. You didn’t even glare at him, you uncrossed your arms let them lay on top of your legs.

“Minho, be respectful.”

“Why are you even here? Fuck off.”

“I’m still your leader Minho, watch your tone. If you didn’t want to be found, you should’ve made an effort.”

Minho pulled away, sinking into the seat and tapped his fingers on the wooden table, settling to glare at you instead. “I thought you were letting me go back to Olympus.” You pulled your books into your lap, knuckles turning white from your grip. “I should go,” you nodded at Chan, “it was nice to meet you, Chan.” He shook his head, and as you tried to open the door, you found that it was just conveniently jammed. “Look, I don’t wanna do this but you guys need to talk it out,” he started, “And the sexual tension is killing me, Jesus.” You turned, taking your hand off of the knob. You let your bag fall to the side and slid back down to the seat, watching as the campus paths filled with large puddles of water. “Look, Minho, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. But you were flirting with a waiter, and not to mention you let me get arrested.”

“Is that seriously what this is about? What are you, five?”

“You’re not exactly known for being loyal, Minho.”

“You’re supposed to be a mediator!”

“I’m mediating you being a bitch boy.”

“I am not! That’s bold coming from someone-”

“Can I leave?” you didn’t mean to interrupt, okay you did- whatever Minho was about to say was probably something personal, “I have a class and I need to get there early.” Minho scoffed at you and you sighed.

“Okay, what? What’s your fucking problem?”

“I took you to the best restaurant in town, and you threw a tantrum.”

You laughed in disbelief, leaning over the table and looked at him.”The sexual tension is like, literally suffocating me,” Chan said loudly, “I’m still here, you know, I’m asphyxiating.” Both of you ignored him, breaths hitched with the attention fixated on each other, suddenly infatuated with the tension in the room. “You flirt because you’re insecure. You thought I’d get bored, so you tried to prove that you’re available, bitch boy.” You weren’t sure it came from, the compulsion that came over you. A ripple of surprise washed over, but he quickly retaliated. Minho’s face as he leaned forward, pushing you back. “You’re just scared you can’t handle me. True, you don’t wanna fix me- but you’re scared that you’re not as exciting as my past lovers.” You were staring at each other now, both of you hauntingly relaxed but maintaining an aura of intimidation around one another. “I don’t need to be exciting, you’re just obsessed with me because I put you in your well-deserved place. You’ve been kept in a bubble all this time. It just gives you the hots when someone doesn’t worship the ground you walk on.” He licked his lips and smiled, “Actually, I think you’re the one who needs to be put in place. You’re too arrogant. You need to learn that I’m god from Olympus, babe- I deserve to be worshipped.” You leaned closer, your breath hot on his face as he watched, lips millimeters away from his but you brushed your lips against his ear instead, whispering lowly as the hair on his neck rose, “Over my dead body, babe.”

He spoke again as you moved back to leave, his finger ran across your lip and you refused to give him the satisfaction of moving away. “If you think you’re so high and mighty then race me,” he tilted his head and brought his lips close to yours, “I mean, if you’re not scared, babe.” You placed your thumb on his chin, tilting it up. This wasn’t like you, but you’d be damned if he was going to win this little show-off. Your nose and forehead were pressed against his as you spoke lowly, “You’re the one who should be scared, babe.”

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #stray kids fic #stray kids imagine #skz imagines #skz fic #skz fluff #skz angst #lee #skz lee know #skz lee minho #lee minho #lee minho imagines #lee minho imagine #lee minho fic

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personagf-moved · 5 years

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alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs:

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week

h // horror yes or horror no: H O R R O R Y E S B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc.

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that.

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol

u // underwear colour: she be black

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho.

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back. also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!

#this is soooo long im so sorry oh my god

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incorrect-ego-quotes · 6 years

Note

It's December 1st. Whose screaming Christmas carols, whose baking Christmas treats, whose decorating, who doesn't care, whose putting up mistletoe everywhere, whose shopping for presents every second, who forgot presents, who purposely didn't get presents and whose constantly asking for a puppy? (Sorry this so long, I just kept getting ideas!)

IM SORRY THIS IS DAYS LATE BUT I L O V E CHRISTMAS I HAVE TO DO THIS ONE. ALSO FORGIVE ME THIS IS /LONG AS FUCK/--the ipliersthe jim twins are as excited as, well, a kid on christmas morning. wearing santa hats, candy canes in their mouths, they even decorated their mic in red and green ribbon. the two practically shrieking out christmas songs -- much to everyone's annoyance "CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE--""jesus christ," dark snaps, "can you two knock it off?! it's only the first--""WOULD YOU LIKE A MORE MODERN SONG OF JOY." jim twin #1 asks, holding up a worn book of christmas carols -- the same one they've had since they were 4. passed on from dear old Mother Jim."no! this season is so grossly happy and joyful -- leave me to work--""I, DONT WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS." jim twin #2 starts off as dark covers his ears. why did they have to be the loudest egos? why cant they see how shitty of a holiday christmas is?!"THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED, DONT CARE ABOUT--"dark gets an idea and smirks. knowing one way he can get them to leave him alone. "santa isn't real."the two twins share an offended and angry look, mouths open, did he just?!"christmas was a pagan festival of gifts before being appropriated by romans based on the Odin myth."the jim twins cringe, holding their dear caroling book closer -- he...he has to be lying!"who is the god of war and death."the jim twins turn away offended as all hell. jim twin #1 throwing a candy cane in dark's face and hissing. "SHUN THE NONBELIEVER, JIM.""SHUN."they then run off to go do whatever christmas activity next -- dark hoping they won't take this caroling /publicly/.******ed edgar and silver shepherd are cooking in the kitchen. ed is a surprisingly good cook -- especially around the holidays. just ask anyone who's been to his thanksgiving or christmas dinners. silver only tagged along because he was tired of dark being a joy sucker out of the season."now," ed chuckles, "we're gon' need about a store's worth of flour.""...what?! wh--ed, why do we need a store's worth.""uh, /excuse you, youngin'/," ed points at his pink and white apron. almost annoyed, "this apron calls me chef in charge 'round here. you follow, don't question.""ed. first of all, that's wilford's apron. second of all, we probably only need one bag at most for gingerbread cookies. why would we need a--""listen. i'm only making one gingerbread man fo' everybody 'round here -- i take home the rest.""how...much exactly is the rest?""350."silver shepherd sighs, taking off his mask and gloves. ed still smiling away as if his idea was normal. well, no arguing with a stubborn man like ed. he grabs his car keys from the table as ed follows him, "your limit is 50 dollars for the ingredients." he mumbles. "i knew you'd come 'round!" ed wraps an arm around silver, "we're gon' have so much fun with these lil old cookies! i even have a homemade sugar icing recipe! i'll even make a lil cape fo' yours!" he silently doubted it but hey, its a hell of a lot better than spending his free time with an angry and annoyed dark. ******bim tugged the host along, holding onto the sleeve of his trenchcoat gently as he lead him into the meeting room. the tall green christmas tree standing proudly in the corner. decorations of red and green and gold littered the meeting room's table. the smell of pine hits the host before anything -- taking him back to his own cabin in the woods long ago. the trees covering him away from the world as he...the host shook his head. he hated those memories. he hated those dark times. he hated it all."wilford put us in charge of the tree this year," bim smiled to himself, "i know its a challenge with erm...""i'm blind?""yeah, that." bim sighs, grabbing the box of lights and unrolling them gently, handing the ball to the host, who held it with a strange look on his face."w-what's poking me?""lights, silly!" bim giggles. the sound making the host blush and laugh along. any time bim was happy, he was happy. "now, i'm gonna loop around the tree. you just follow along, yeah? tell me if ya get dizzy and we can slow down.""the host nods, holding the bundle of lights close to his chest. ready for the decorations -- reminding him of his most favorite time of year."bim shakes his head and laughs, "you can't ever turn that off, can you?""the host cannot."the two start off steady and slow. the host following bim's footsteps. he could hear the jim twins playing 'i'll be home for christmas' in the next room over -- their office space. "those two can never get tired of christmas, i swear.""the host reminds bim that it's worse for him since his own office is right next door to the twins."bim giggles, "well, hope ya like christmas as much as them." it's when bim giggles does the host wish he had his sight back. what'd he give to see his smile (although, according to dark, it looks like his -- he doubt it. bim was handsome, charming, while his smile held back pain he swallowed down.)in those small moments of thinking and wishing, the host stays in place. the lights tangling as bim gets wrapped up with the host, groaning as the tree falls gently against them. the two tied chest to chest, bim's hands resting on the host's hips. "um..." bim laughs nervously, blushing away, "hostie, bud, we're tangled.""i...is that you against me?""yeah...i'll -- i'll get us out!!"the music drowns out bim's struggles as he pulls at the lights. the host's thoughts screaming at him -- tell him!! now's your chance!! confess!!"i love...i love--""hmm?" bim perks up, "sorry, wasn't listening, what do you love?""t...this song!! i, i love it, it's my favorite christmas song."he stops and hears bim laugh again, humming along, "its a good song."the host goes along with the lie, singing along as bim rests his head on the host's shoulder to get around to the lights behind him. "if only in my dreams."yeah, only in his dreams -- bim had matthias, what did he have? nothing but his dreams of what could be with the two of them. at least, for a moment, he had the courage to change that. maybe that's what he'll ask for this year; courage. ******dark crossed his arms and continued to work in his office. he could smell cookies baking, he could hear christmas songs being sung, and he could see holly being hung in the halls. how stupid -- the other egos should be /working!/ do they think they can take over mark's channel with all this fooling around?! he slams the laptop he'd been using shut and stares out his window. even the fuckin' /city/ was covered in red and green, fake reindeer and sleighs all around, snowmen (who bought fake snow to LA?!) waving in the cold breeze. he face palms himself. a headache coming on. he hated winter, he hated christmas, he hated everything about the holidays.it...brought back memories he didn't want to dwell on. memories of christmas morning...in a mansion of some sort. fuzzy memories of a woman, a man, and that damned mark -- all enjoying...hot chocolate with marshmallows. opening gifts like.../a family/."heeeeey darkidoo," wilford bursts into his office. the jim twins still throwing (sharpened to a point) candy canes at dark's door. "what do you want, wil?""geez," he shuts the door, dark's back turned towards him, "what's up with the jims? ya do something?""other than not engaging them in their childish behavior -- not, i did nothing." he sighs, "did you finish the weekly schedule for this month's programming on Markiplier TV?""gimmie another day--""damnit, wil! stop -- just stop! stop with this foolish nonsense, this holly jolly bullshit! i hate this season and i hate the way it makes everyone--" he stops as he hears wilford set down something on his desk and wrap an arm behind him. hugging him. "dark," he sighs, "just...take it easy, okay? it's december -- at least be happy the year's almost over, and be happy you still got us. hell, be happy some egos are working like doc and google." he smiles, "just...be happy we're all still here to celebrate the season. and nobody's gone."there's silence as dark hangs his head low. "i'll leave you alone for a while. i gotta confiscate the candy canes from the jims. i'll see you at home, dark."he squeezes around dark once more and moves to leave, stopping before he opens the door, "oh! i...i found that while looking for the christmas tree in the storage back home. i...i have a feeling it's yours. broke it in for ya!" he laughs as he leaves. dark turns around to see a black mug with a cursive 'D' on it. an intense emotion of...nostalgia rushing over him despite not remembering the mug. he stares out the window again as he holds the hot mug to him. he looks down to see hot chocolate and marshmallows. he smiles and sips the hot drink. this season isn't so bad after all with people like wilford in his life.--the septiceyesthis...was going to be the best surprise, marvin thought to himself. thanks to a new trick he'd learned -- he successfully figured out how to move the mistletoe to wherever he wanted, as if he had hung them everywhere. he was sure it'd be a laugh to see everyone's reactions. making anti kiss the pizza delivery guy, making dr. schneeplestein kiss whatever old patient he was seeing, maybe making robbie kiss his reflection. it'd be hilarious nonetheless. marvin, the marvelous magician, shall wow and dazzle his fellow egos!!he hid behind the couch in the lobby of their headquarters, where they hold their meetings, and waited.and waitedand waited/and waited/.growing tired as nobody walked by, had they found out about his plan? did nobody just need to come this way?he saw jackieboy man walk by and perked up, using his wand to move the mistletoe closer under him, rushing out the door to call him back as he left."j-jackie!! hey...oh shit," he looked up as he noticed he was directly under the mistletoe.jackieboy raised an eyebrow before looking up. "aha, you want to meet me here?" he smirks, catching marvin's chin in his fingers, flipping down his mask and red hoodie, soft green hair cascading down his face. a blush crossing marvin's cheek."just us two? alone here, the christmas decorations and lights lighting up your face so softly...""um, i mean--""here? under..." jackieboy looks up. suggestive. marvin not knowing if it was humanly possible to blush anymore."jackie...""THE MISTLEFOE?!""wha--" he ducked as jackieboy tackled him, wrestling him to the floor as chase and anti walked by. anti shouting as chase winced."get the magic nerd!! get the magic nerd!!" anti shouts"THE HELL IS A MISTLEFOE?!" marvin yells as he taps out with his wand from jackieboy man's headlock. ripping away his cat mask."pssh, the mistlefoe!! put two people under that," jackieboy points to the mistletoe, "and have 'em duke it out, fight and stuff. you dont know about the best winter tradition?""erm...its actually meant for the two to--" chase is cut off as marvin uses his wand to seal his lips shut, chase giving him the middle finger and pointing to his lips.marvin used his magic to burn the magic mistletoe attached to the doorframe. cringing as jackieboy man helped him up. helping him walk to dr. schneep's office"better luck next year, magic boy!!""....i hate working here," marvin coughs as he waits for the doctor. this, was going to be a very long winter. ******the doctor clocks out early, waving goodbye to the other egos....at 10 am, after working for 45 minutes."dude, ya can't just up and leave!! we need help with decorating!! and baking the cookies!!" jackieman boy yells as chase nearly stumbles carrying in the tree. "i must!!" the doctor yells, "chase, you are in charge until i get back at...well, just know you're all working late tonight!"chase gives a thumbs up, pointing at anti as he walks by, already directing them all.the drive to the mall isn't too long, he runs towards the opening, still in his doctor uniform. this time of year was perfect for his giving heart. already having a mile long list of gift ideas for every one of the egos in his pocket, his credit card with his savings from all his paychecks since last year loaded onto it -- no price limit for anyone!! and he finally healed from his injuries after black friday and cyber monday!! (hey, those internet shoppers are no joke)he practically skips into the mall with glee at the decorations. giant christmas gift boxes, fake snow, even a 'winter wonderland' with a fake santa -- wait...was that his patient bobby dressed up? bobby with the bad smoking habit?"i hope he cleaned up for the kiddies," schneep says to himself as he rushes into the first store -- a new camera for chase on the top of his list!!he gets everyone everything -- new knife collection for anti!! a new tux for marvin!! every single marvel movie for jackieboy man!! stuffed animals and candy for robbie!! a top hat for dapper jack!!and that's just for the first day of december, he plans to do this all until christmas eve, already having different wrapping for each ego's gift. until he sees it. his own personal wish. the 35 book set of medical mysteries -- all in order, and all for him.until another hand touches the set too. dr. iplier staring at him from the other side of the shelf. downright glaring. "henrik.""edward."the two stare back in spite -- no, schneep /needed this/. he worked too damn long this year to be bested by some quack doctor ego."aha," schneep laughs, obviously fake, "what are you doing here?""shopping for christmas. i was just looking at this book set i wanted for myself."fuck. schneep tugs on the set. dr. iplier's hand not going away. "oh, really?" he smiles coldly, "so. was. i."dr. iplier tugs, schneep tugs, the two turning into a tug of war before schneep pulls him against the wooden shelf in the bookstore, yelling as they fight it out. the early morning shoppers crowding around them, recording as schneep hold dr. iplier in a headlock. "THOSE BOOKS ARE MINE, YOU PRICK.""OVER MY DEAD BODY, QUACK.""OH THAT CAN BE ARRANGED, BITCH.""TRY ME, YOU ASSHOLE."schneep pulls out the scalpel he keeps in his pocket. the two fighting more, knocking displays over and taking it outside to the winter wonderland exhibit. children running and screaming as they crash into santa's sleigh. finally -- they're broken apart by santa (bobby). schneep grabbing his items from the bookstore and rushing out the mall. not wanting to deal with police or security. wiping away tears as he drives back. thankfully -- good old smoking santa (bobby), his faithful patient, was head of security at the mall. "its christmas," he later told schneep on the phone (and dr. iplier), "just...stay outta the mall for a good two days and i'll pretend not a single thing happened"schneep wiped away tears as he layer learned -- hey, the bookstore had tons of copies of the book set they were fighting over, that was just a display!he, however blushes as chase, anti, and robbie crowd around chase's phone. the video from his fight going viral online. "doc!! you're trending under #ThoseBooksAreMine!! that's awesome as hell, you'll be a meme!!" chase praises. schneep shakes his head. nursing the black eye he has. he knows it'll be worth it when he sees their laughing and happy faces on christmas day.because he knows damn well, marvin would forget presents and anti would die before he got presents for anyone else.******"a puppy!!" chase smiles as he walks into their ego headquarters with anti. heavy coats and scarves on. a smaller dog being walked by a young boy trotting on. "ew." anti drinks the starbucks chase bought him, "dogs are gross--"chase gasps, "i...am offended on behalf of all dogs, dude!!" "what? its a dirty animal that tracks mud and barely listens.""sure you're not describing yourself, dude?" chase jokes as anti rolls his eyes. "how could you want a little disgusting creature like that?""they're cute, they're playful, they cuddle up to ya when its cold, they bark!!" chase goes on and on, sitting down in the meeting room as they wait for the others, "they keep ya company, they nip at ya when they're hungry, they...they love you unconditionally...they...won't be taken away from ya," he stops, sniffling. tears forming in his eyes, memories of christmases long gone hitting him. seeing his son and daughter excitedly wake up him and stacey to open gifts. going ice skating. baking cookies.shit."...chase?"chase shakes his head and wipes a tear, "sorry, bro. i...i'm just caught up in my feelings. this time of year and, missing my kids."anti looks down into his coffee cup. damn, chase has been through a lot. he's the only ego who keeps it together -- not like him who just...glitches out at emotions. "...it's fine." anti grumbles under his scarf, "i'm sure this christmas will be...okay.""really?" "...yeah, really. even with that stacey keeping the kids, this christmas will be worthwhile. i mean, we got...decorating and shit to do today. that'll take your mind off it, right?""y-yeah, and the kids are suppose to call after school...and, and stacey's letting me come to their christmas play!! you're right, for once, anti!!" chase smiles and hugs him, anti awkwardly patting back. "okay...hug's been too long, don't push it chase.""sorry."...everyone had called chase a dumbass to give a copy of his apartment keys to anti. everyone had doubted anti would show any spirit in the season. everyone had doubted chase would get anything he really wanted for christmas, even schneeplestein.anti snuck into chase's apartment that christmas eve. chase down for the night in his bedroom. a small 4 foot christmas tree decorated in lights and ordainments in the corner of his living room. a letter from his kids (that anti skimmed through) on the table. "let's prove all those dicks back at hq wrong," he whispers to the bundle in his arms. setting it under the tree. it'd been absolute hell to get anyone to allow him to take home chase's gift. grunting as he sat on the couch and nodded off into sleep. the dalmatian puppy slept too, a red collar around it's neck, tail wagging in its sleep as it was thankful for anti for getting him out of the cold shelter. excited to meet his new master in the cold christmas morning.

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arjyles · 6 years

Text

i originally meant to accompany this w an art piece but i forgot to finish it so heres the fic for now

wrote this for @taylorearhardts for trimberlydwarves secret santa-- MERRY CHRISM MY DUDE!!!! HOPE U LIKE IT!!! BC I LOVE KIMZACK NOW

They really couldn’t be friends without constantly pushing each others’ boundaries.

Kim 4:42pm: zack i need ur eyes and opinion

Zack 4:43pm: im not giving u fashion advice unless it’s for lingerie

Kim 4:43pm: ik ur joking but that’s deadass what i was gonna ask

Kim 4:44pm: don’t make it weird

Zack 4:44pm: no hetero right babe ;p

She rolls her eyes at his choice of words, and snaps the picture anyway. Scrolling down her list of best friends on Snapchat, she captions the photo, “no hetero x,” before selecting Zack’s name and hitting send, no pause or hesitation needed. It’s just Zack, after all.

Immediately after it’s sent, the red triangle turns white, indicating that he opens it right away. After all, there are basically no boundaries in their friendship, and if there are, they’re quickly broken, since the two of them run the reckless impulse decision kingdom.

Zack 4:49pm: it’s hot but why pink. why not black ;(

Kim 4:49pm: it’s my fav colour ok. this is lingerie for me not u

Zack 4:50pm: fine

Zack 4:50pm: is there a v-shape version of the bra tho. ur tiddies look flat in that

She grins and shakes her head at his honesty. There are about 8 more pink bras she needs his opinion on, anyway.

“Anyone seen Kim yet?”

“Nah, T. She wasn’t in bio?”

Trini glares at Zack’s question. “Of course not. Why else would I be asking?”

“Jeez,” Zack says, raising his hands in surrender. Trini was very protective of Kim, for some odd reason. With Kim not there, she’s especially more cranky. “Relax, dude. We can check on her. Who’s free?”

Trini’s about to volunteer, until Jason puts his hand on her shoulder, “you can’t, dude. We’ve got that math test next period,” she sighs, and Jason turns to Billy and Zack, “can one of you?”

Before Billy can say anything, Zack speaks out, “I guess I will!” he says enthusiastically, saving Billy from having to ruin his perfect attendance, “I was already gonna skip, anyway.”

“Are you sure you can?” Billy asks, looking conflicted between wanting to be a good friend and wanting to be a good student, “is it really a good idea for you to skip more classes?”

Zack waves him off, relieving the others of worrying about his grades, “yeah, it’s fine. I’ve got a spare third period anyway, and we’re only watching a movie in fourth.”

Then, he gets up from their shared lunch table to make his way to Kim’s house, leaving Billy to tutor Jason and Trini in the last bits of trig they need help with.

Normally, she wasn’t one to take days off like this, but her mother called her last night reminding her how she was no longer living up to her parents’ standards, and now she can’t really bring herself to leave her house.

Instead, it’s nearing 1pm and she’s still in bed, listening to her Depression Playlist™ on repeat, while watching her ceiling fan rotate over and over. She can’t tell if it’s making her dizzy, or if her head just hurt from oversleeping.

Just before she can transition from humming along to belting out the bridge of Hands Down, Chris Carrabba’s voice is interrupted by her phone ringing.

Groaning, she rolls over to check her caller ID, and is only mildly surprised to see Zack’s face grinning at her before she hits the answer button.

“What,” Kim says into her phone, sounding irritated.

“Well, hello to-” he grunts, “you too.”

Kim raises a brow at that. “Why do you sound constipated? Did you call me while you were on the shitter?”

He laughs, but it sounds slightly strained, “no. I’m scaling a building, actually.”

Kim tsks, showing her mild disapproval at his risqué antics. “Don’t scale the fucking school, Zack,” she scolds him, “you’re gonna get yourself expelled and Zordon’s gonna murder your ass for taking advantage of your powers.”

There’s a brief pause on the phone, like he’s readjusting his stance to a more ergonomically proper way of climbing, “who said I was scaling the school?”

“What building are you scaling?” She asks, slightly worried that he might be putting himself in danger. Well, as much danger as a ranger can face. “Zack, what the fuck.”

He giggles again, sounding like a giddy school girl, “here’s a hint,” he says, and she can basically see the grin on his face through the phone, “open your window to find out. NOT CLICKBAIT.”

And then it clicks. (ha ha get it) She looks over to her window only to see one set of fingers on the outside sill, where Zack must’ve been dangling from.

“Why haven’t you at least pulled yourself up?”

“Because-” he grunts again, probably shifting his hand a little bit so he can get more comfortable, “my booty is poppin’ way too hard to fit onto the ledge. Let me in, Kim!”

She sighs exasperatedly before pulling the covers off herself to make her way towards the window. Once there, she glances down at the boy still hanging on with one arm, a phone in his other.

He waves at her with the phone-hand, before putting his phone back to his mouth, “so are you gonna let me in, or nah?”

She grins at him and shrugs, “I wish I could, but I have a screen on my window.”

His face drops. “Are you serious?”

“No, I just wanted to see how long you could hang onto that.”

“Probably forever-- I’m that buff,” he says, winking at her, “but someone might see me.”

She reaches over to open the window, but pauses, “to be fair, you’re in my backyard.”

“Kim,” he pleads with her, his voice cracking. “C’mon.”

“Fine,” she relents, but not before dramatically sighing and hanging up, as if all of this was physically taxing on her.

She unlocks the window and pushes it open, watching as Zack pockets his phone and pulls himself up, landing ungracefully onto her floor face first. Despite the fall, he still comes back up smiling.

“So, what’s up, Kimmy? You good?” He asks, while toeing his shoes off before Kim can give him shit for it. He was really the only one of her friends who did that automatically, the other rangers being absolute heathens, wearing shoes indoors. “Why’d you stay in?”

“Honestly,” she sighs, grabbing his hand and leading him to her bed and he lies next to her, like it’s routine, “I’m not feeling the best right now.”

He hums, and she can feel the vibrations from his chest. Then she feels his hand come up to her forehead, and he presses it there for a minute.

“You seem okay, though. Is it a different kind of sickness?”

She purses her lips. They never really hide anything from each other. If they didn’t know something about each other, it’s probably because they just forgot to tell the other.

This time, though, Kim feels a little bit of hesitance.

“Yeah, kind of,” she says instead.

He doesn’t say anything. He’s waiting for her to elaborate.

“Just, y’know…” She clears her throat, trying to decide if this is something she can share with him. “Good ol’ depression, hittin’ me up.”

He’s silent again. Kim feels like she’s finally found the boundary between them that she shouldn’t have crossed.

“Depression?” He finally questions, and Kim holds her breath still for whatever he’s about to say next, “isn’t that just a fancy word for feeling ‘bummed out?’”

Relieved, she feels her heartbeat relax, and grins against his shoulder. “Dwight, you ignorant slut.”

He chuckles at that, and waits a minute before asking, “so, do you want me to go, or can I stay?”

“You can stay, but only if I can paint your nails.”

“Do you have Vantablack?”

“Sorry I wasn’t there yesterday. I really wanted to be.”

“It’s okay, I get it,” Kim says, and she really means it. She runs through the combination on her lock again-- it’s a little rusty, “Zack was more than enough.”

Trini nods, and Kim takes that as her cue to accept that they’re done with the topic, and takes her textbooks out of their shared locker to shove them haphazardly into her backpack.

She’s about to ask Trini how her math test went yesterday, when Zack’s familiar voice greets the two of them.

“Hey, Trini,” he says, ruffling her hair, then, “hey Kimmy.”

But before Kim can even get a ‘hey’ out, Zack is ducking quickly and throwing Kim over his shoulder so she’s squealing loudly as he tickles her sides.

It isn’t anything new, the two of them were the most physical and touchy people on the team, but with how loud and obnoxious they’re being, it’s almost similar to how the couples Kim rolls her eyes at in the hallway act when they do major PDA.

Regardless, she can’t care less about her reputation.

“Put me down, Zack!” She giggles, her bag on the floor, now forgotten.

“I will, if I get this one thing wrong,” he promises, and there’s suddenly a mischievous undertone to his voice that worries Kim only slightly.

“What is it?” She asks, despite herself.

He pokes at her side once more so she’s laughing again, “you’re wearing that pink bralette you sent me, aren’t you?”

“Oh my God,” Kim laughs, and hopes Trini isn’t still there to hear that, “fuck you.”

Then the bell rings, but Zack doesn’t even drop Kim-- he just picks up her backpack off the floor and slings it over his shoulder, continuing to carry her to Trini and Kim’s bio class.

She feels a slight pleasure at the confused looks some people give her on the way— the question, ‘are you two together?’ written on their faces.

It’s just Zack, she reminds herself, trying not to think about why she gets a warm feeling from the thought of her and Zack being together.

They’re on their way to the quarry, Kim sandwiched between Billy and Trini, while Jason drives, and Zack sits in shotgun.

Kim originally intends to sit next to Zack, who unintentionally ruins that plan by calling shotgun before anybody else can.

She’s perfectly content with getting to sit next to Trini, however, even though she’s recently had a sudden wave of warm appreciation for the black ranger.

After that first period in the morning, Zack had carried Kim from every class so that her feet had basically never touched the halls of their school that day because ‘princesses should be treated as such.’

They were both not shy about touching, but it was the first time Zack had been that extra about their physicality, and Kim found herself grinning wide from how grateful she was that he was trying so hard to cheer her up after her day off the day before.

Finally, Jason pulls up to the quarry, and before she can even get her seatbelt off, Zack says, “last one there has to finally wear black underwear!”

Jesus Christ. What is it with that boy and underwear?

Meanwhile, the other three rangers aren’t phased by this comment, instead moving at a speed that showed no indication they felt threatened by this challenge.

Kim tries to be patient, she really does, but Billy and Trini were moving so slow, and knowing Trini would mind less about the sudden contact, she unbuckles her belt quickly, not even bothering to wait for Trini to exit the car so she can climb over the smaller girl in an attempt to beat Zack to the pit. It’s pretty clear the race is only meant to be between the two of them.

She catches up quickly, the taller boy having tripped earlier on the mud.

“So if I win, what do I get?”

“Me in pink underwear,” he smirks, and trips Kim before running ahead.

Zack wins, but only because he had a head start and cheated. Or at least, that’s what Kim tells herself as she wrings the water out of her hair while glaring at the cheater.

“You did me dirty, Taylor,” she says, attempting to unstick her wet shirt from her body.

He grins. “How else am I going to do you, Hart?”

She narrows her eyes at him, and he only shrugs.

They make their way over to the ship, all the while side eying each other, another unspoken race in the midst.

“I win,” Zack says, and then smugly adds on, “again.”

“Um,” she starts, trying to imitate her lawyer mother’s tone in court, “we didn’t even say that was a race,” she points out, knowing full well if she beat him she would’ve said the same thing.

He scoffs, “whatever. Potato, poh-tah-to.”

But Kim is already stripping quickly, trying to change before Zack can. Everything is always a competition between the two of them.

Zack, only now noticing what she’s doing, quickly throws his shirt over his head and makes a grab for his dry shirt.

Kim stops him before he can reach it, though. “Wait, hold up,” she says, only having one leg through her pants, “I think I like you better shirtless.”

If he thinks her flirtatious behaviour is weird, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he flexes his pecs back and forth, “is it because I have better nipples than you?”

Kim rolls her eyes at him, finally finished dressing herself, “no, actually, it’s because I win.”

“Touché, Kimmy,” he remarks, looking slightly impressed.

Then there are sounds of splashing coming through, indicating the others have finally caught up.

“You lost earlier, though,” he reminds her, throwing a shirt on, ineffectively covering his nipples, since it’s so cold down there anyway, “so this Friday? You and me. Black underwear shopping. Don’t forget.”

Kim watches him walk away to greet the others, and is unable to fight the grin that forms on her face.

“Can we take a break?” Zack asks, answering Kim’s question about the deeper meaning of Ophelia’s death, “my brain is fried and my stomach would also like something fried.”

“I’d tell your stomach to eat your brain, but honestly, I am so sick of Shakespeare right now,” Kim agrees, cracking her back as she stands up from her bed to stretch.

“Thanks for your help, though,” Zack is sure to say again. Without Kim, it was unlikely he’d even be passing this class, let alone getting a 72.

She chuckles at his hourly need to thank her for helping him, “no problem. But what do you want? You wanna order a pizza or go to Krispy Kreme?”

“I’m not really feeling Krispy Kreme tonight,” he admits, now sick of all the donuts from there. Why the team had adopted that restaurant as their go-to, he’d never know. He didn’t even like donuts that much. “What about Burger King?”

“That’s like, on the other side of town,” she points out.

He shrugs, “yeah, but you got wheels.”

“Well, yes,” she agrees hesitantly, “but I don’t really feel like driving. We can go, but you have to drive.”

“I don’t know how to drive,” he says, and looks at her as if this should be obvious information.

Her brows furrow in shock and confusion. “What?”

“I don’t know how to drive, Kim,” he repeats, “it’s gay culture!”

“Dude, what. I can drive?”

He brushes her off. “Whatever, dude. I just never learned how. Like, how would I?” He questions, “I don’t even have a car.”

There’s a brief pause as Kim lets that sink in. Logically, it makes sense. They’re only 17, which means that they only had two years to have learned how to drive, and between taking care of his mother, and not having a car, it really should’ve been obvious.

“Okay, c’mon,” she says, finally breaking the silence to pull him up from her bed.

“Are we going to Burger King?” He asks, as he follows her to her car.

She doesn’t answer him until they’re in the car. “Yes, but I’m also gonna teach you how to drive.”

“Kim,” he starts, as he buckles in his seatbelt, “you saw me driving my Zord. Are you sure your BMW’s gonna be okay?”

She waves him off while backing out of her driveway, “shut up. You’re gonna make me not want to teach you. Let’s just see how this goes.”

Their bellies are full and they’ve just finished their share of mozzarella sticks and King Burger meals and are now in their empty school’s parking lot.

“Okay, so first, you probably wanna adjust the mirror to your height,” she says, the last bit of fries in her mouth, “Jesus, why are you so tall?”

He discards his burger box into the takeout bag. “Maybe you’re just short.”

“Ex-squeeze me, bitch, I’m 5’5,” she states, her hand on her chest in mock offence, “that’s the national average.”

“Whatever,” he says, and he adjusts the mirror so that he can see his rear, “there. It’s fixed.”

“Okay, good. Now start driving.”

“Wh- you didn’t even teach me how to,” he says, looking over at her in bewilderment.

Her voice is calm, and soothing, like a yoga instructors’, “just do what feels right. That’s what I do on a daily basis, if I’m honest.”

“How the fuck do you have a license?”

“I stop at stop signs-- isn’t that enough?”

He shrugs and pushes down on the pedal but the car remains still. “Why isn’t it moving?”

“Babe, you’re still on park,” she chuckles, “switch to drive.”

He looks around at all the buttons on the BMW. There are probably more in there than in his Zord. “What?” He asks, looking to her for some guidance.

“On the PRNDL.”

“The PRNDL- oh!” He exclaims, now understanding that episode of The Suite Life, “the PRNDL! I know some of these words!”

“Yes,” Kim smiles patiently at his childish antics, “now switch to ‘D.’”

“I’m always on D,” he winks.

She pauses, trying to think of a reply to that. “I’m gonna ignore that,” she says, instead, “just start slow.”

He follows her instructions, switching the function to ‘D,’ and presses lightly on the pedal. They’re only moving at 5mph.

“Good shit, good shit,” Kim says, appreciatively, “now try a little faster.”

Zack nods, and he practically stomps on the gas pedal, switching from 5mph to 90mph.

“Okay, wait, not like that, hit the brake!”

But Zack isn’t sure which pedal is the brake— there are at least three pedals, and they’re nearing the school’s dumpster.

“Which one’s the brake?” He asks, trying to decide between the 50/50.

“BITCH-!” Kim exclaims, and then she’s ducking down and hitting the brakes for him.

The car screeches to a halt, just about an inch or two away from hitting the science lab.

“Wow, good save, Kimmy,” Zack laughs, still thrilled from the close call, “but if you wanted to get on my lap you could just ask.”

She glares at him from her compromising position on his lap. “Oh my God, shut up.”

Somehow, Zack convinces her to let him try again, and by the end of the night, they’re blasting One Direction songs and singing at the top of their lungs, while drifting in their high school parking lot.

Kim never really lets herself think too much about something before doing it, but for some reason, when it comes to Trini, she’s always second guessing herself.

Needing a little push to help her decide whether or not this decision is a good idea or not, she quickly runs through her friends to decide who would be best at talking her through this.

Her first thought is Jason, but she quickly pushes that thought away. Things were still a little tense between them since they made out at his house that night, even though they talked about it, so asking him for his opinion on this would just ruin everything.

Billy is a sweetheart, but also a definite no. She isn’t sure if she should run the risk of making him uncomfortable.

Then there’s Zack, who… Would make total sense to ask.

Kim 9:52pm: zack can u rate my nudes idk if they’re good enough to send to tr*ni

She throws her phone back on her bed as she waits for him to text back, digging through her closet to find her cutest lacy bra, before throwing it on. It’s her most trusty piece of lingerie, always guaranteed to make the viewer drool at the sight of it.

Her text tone goes off, and she practically dives onto her bed to read it. Zack 9:55pm: only if u finally got lingerie that isn’t fuckin pink

She looks down at her current attire, and then sits up again to look back at her closet. Without having realized it, she’d slowly sifted out the other colours of lingerie she had, and now only owned pink. It isn’t like all her bras are pink, but all the cute ones are.

Kim 9:55pm: fuck

Groaning, she lies back down onto the bed dramatically, trying to figure out a solution. She needs to send these nudes tonight , or her impulse would run short and she’d have too much time to think about it for the next time. Kim 9:56pm: k wait what if there was no lingerie

His reply comes almost immediately after that.

Zack 9:56pm: .... SEND i needed these nudes like yesterday

Grinning, she strips her bra off and makes her way to the bathroom, flipping her Snapchat camera over to regular instead of selfie mode.

She dims the light slightly so it’s less bright, and uses her arms to cover her nipples, while pushing her boobs together, in the way that she knows drives her conquests to call her a ‘fuckin’ tease.’

Once satisfied with how it looks, she snaps the photo, and captions it “will this pic make trini understand im tryna get it?”

As usual, he opens it immediately, but it takes a minute for him to reply.

He snaps her back, and it’s a photo of him losing his shit, captioned “kIM NO ONE WAS READY FOR THAT HOLY SHIT!!!”

She chuckles at his reaction, and he texts her while the snap is still opened.

Zack 10:01pm: Kim holy shit ur hot

Zack 10:01pm: send that shit to trini bitch will nut on the spot!!!

Zack 10:01pm: biitcchhhh god has BLESSEDT my eyes

She throws her shirt back on, and shuts the bathroom light off, all the while still texting Zack.

Trini remains forgotten, and Kim doesn’t end up sending any more nudes that night.

It’s finally Friday, or the day that Zack has come to collect his winnings from Kim.

“Kim, are you ready?” He asks, as he balances precariously on her window sill, his butt not quite fitting on it.

Kim turns as he taps on the window again, and she covers herself up out of reflex, scolding him, “Zack, do I look like I’m ready?” She asks, throwing a shirt at the window to scare him.

“Let me in,” he insists, still tapping on the glass.

“No, I’m not done getting dressed,” she says, and turns her back toward him in an attempt to stay decent in front of him while changing her shirt.

“It’s not like it’s anything I haven’t seen before.”

She rolls her eyes at him, but still lets him in anyway, even though her shirt isn’t on yet.

“Thank you,” he says, smiling smugly, and he rubs his backside slightly. The ledge really was too small for his butt.

Finally, she gets her shirt on, and makes her way to her desk where she knows her keys are, only to find that they’re missing.

“Okay, let’s go,” Zack says, redirecting her attention to his hands as he jingles the keys, so that it’s evident that she hadn’t misplaced them. “I’m driving.”

Kim’s grinning, but shaking her head as she follows him to her car, “I knew it was a bad idea to teach you.”

“It’s for a fun surprise, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” she mutters, locking the door behind her.

The ‘fun surprise’ turns out to just be the Victoria’s Secret at the local mall. Kim figures he was just excited to use his newfound skill of driving.

As soon as they enter the store though, Zack’s already grabbing all kinds of black bras from every section, making Kim wonder if he’d ever done this before.

“There you go,” he says, handing her at least 12 bras with their matching underwear before pushing her into the fitting room.

She glances at the first bra he’d handed her, and is surprised. He hadn’t even needed to ask for her size, but he’d grabbed the correct one for all of them.

Throwing on the first bra, she admires herself quickly in the mirror. It’s a lacy black push up bra, with a scallop cut at the bottom of it, so it accentuates her abs perfectly. She probably wouldn’t say it out loud, but Zack definitely had an eye for good lingerie.

She takes one last glance at herself to ensure everything’s in the right place, before stepping out of the dressing stall, now dressed in the complete set of underwear he’d handed her.

“If I send Trini nudes in this, do you think I could finally get it?” She asks, as soon as Zack sees her.

His jaw drops, but then he closes it and nods quickly to agree, “holy shit babe, black is your colour,” he says, still slightly dazed, “you look like such a thirst trap.”

She flushes slightly from his comment, before remembering it’s Zack. “Honestly, it’s everybody’s colour,” she says, trying to brush off the blush on her face, “black is the colour you wear when you wanna get laid-- at least, that’s what it’s like according to 10 Things I Hate About You.”

“What’s good?” he winks, gesturing to his all black outfit. Then his face turns serious again, “if you don’t cop that shit, I’m buying it for you.”

Kim grins, delighted, “hang on, dude, there are like, a million more bras I still need to try.”

Zack sits back down, trying to relax how hyped up he was for Kim, while giving her a thumbs up, letting her know he was ready for her to continue on with the show.

She closes the door behind her once back in the stall, looking at all the equally cute sets he’d chosen, if not cuter.

It was pretty clear for Kim that she could never go underwear shopping ever again without the tall boy.

Kim’s in the middle of Beyoncé’s Partition when she’s suddenly reminded that she never sent Trini those nudes the other night.

Without thinking, she gets up immediately to open her bags from Victoria’s Secret, grabbing the matching set that Zack said made her a tease, because of how sheer it is.

She throws on the set— but before she can snap a picture, she texts Zack first for his approval.

Kim 9:23pm: k dude im boutta to send trini nudes in the shit we bought today lms if its a bad idea

Zack 9:24pm: nudes from u r always a good idea tf flaunt what u have while u still have it get it sis!!!!!

Zack 9:24pm: but also. i have eyes so dont forget to send them to me too ;p

Kim laughs at his response. Of course she will. It’s not even a question at this point. But she quickly gets back to business.

She lies back down onto her bed and covers the lower half of her body with her blanket, just slightly above her bellybutton. Her right arm extends as she flips her Snapchat camera over to selfie mode, and she’s sure to crop out her face from the shot, using her left index finger to push down on her lower lip as she smirks at the camera. She adjusts her bralette once more to ensure her nipples are on optimal display before snapping the photo and captioning it, “translucent nipples bc u don’t deserve to see the real thing yet.”

She selects Zack’s name, then hesitantly adds on Trini’s, and hits send before she can overthink it.

Zack opens his immediately, while Trini’s is still left unread.

Zack 9:31: holy shit

Zack 9:31pm: ur such a fuckin tease

Zack 9:32pm: ur nipples still remain a mystery but at least now i know they exist

Kim 9:33pm: just take my word for it dude my nipples are perfect

Zack 9:33pm: ill believe it when i see it

Zack 9:33pm: anyway what did tr*ni say

She flips back over from her texts to Snapchat, only to see that it’s still unread.

Kim 9:34pm: idk she hasn’t opened it yet tf

Kim 9:35pm: pls keep talkin to me though i can’t keep thinking about it or im gonna get nervous

Zack 9:36pm: dont be nervous tf!! bitch is gonna nut to that pic but if she doesn’t hey baby what’s good

Kim smiles at that, despite the vulgarity of the sentence. He’s always been good at distracting her.

Kim 9:36pm: thx so much ily wtf

Kim 9:36pm: bitch still hasn’t replied yet!! tf is she doin it’s been 5 mins

Zack 9:37pm: ik ilyt x

She tries to ignore the fluttering in her stomach after that text. It’s probably just nerves building up about Trini.

Zack 9:37pm: wow i can’t believe T is rly out there having a life

Kim 9:38pm: jks she just opened it lmao im not freaking out

Zack 9:39pm: omg ok dw it’s just trini

Kim sighs. Right. Just Trini. There’s nothing to be nervous about.

She paces around her room for a bit, trying not to think too hard about what Trini’s reply might be, before she decides to abandon her phone for a bit while she goes to pick up a glass of water from her kitchen.

Trying not to rush back, she takes her time going back up the steps to her room.

All this is pointless, though, because once she crosses the threshold in her room, she’s diving onto her bed to check her Snapchat.

Opened 5 minutes ago, it reads, under Trini’s name. Kim feels her heart sink.

Kim 9:43pm: trini isn’t replying i don’t think she was ready for the nudes

Zack 9:44pm: wtf T.., i thought she had eyes

Zack 9:44pm: mayb she’s busy tho

Zack 9:45pm: lmAo can u imagine if u sent her nudes while she was babysitting that would suck haHa

Kim breathes a sigh of relief at that. Right. Maybe Trini’s just not in a position to reply to a picture like that.

Kim 9:46pm: omfg do u think i did., rip

Zack 9:46pm: how inconsiderate

Kim 9:46pm: fuck man im emo why can’t she take the hint

Zack 9:47pm: just let it marinate she’s the kind of person u need to b direct to

She frowns at that. Kim is used to playing games— it was basically cheerleading code, back in her day.

Figuring Zack is right, though, Kim accepts it, quickly getting a vague idea on how to be more straightforward.

Kim 9:48pm: tru I’ll tell her on monday i wanna have her babies

Zack 9:49pm: sounds good

It’s third turning fourth period on Monday, and Kim has a spare last period, but she tells Ms. Appleby that there’s a cheerleading meeting to get her out of third period early.

She’s been out of the squad for months, but it’s pretty clear the teacher has other things to worry about than high school drama, since she lets Kim out anyway.

Now, she’s pacing outside of Trini and Jason’s math class, watching the clock on her phone as the period comes to an end.

She only has to wait about two minutes after the bell rings for Trini and Jason to walk out together, the two still talking about whatever lesson they’d just shared.

“Hey, T,” Kim says, not even caring that she’s interrupting Jason’s questions about trinomials, “can I talk to you?”

Trini gives her a weird look, but nods anyway, “what’s… up?” She asks, looking confused by how much of a psycho Kim probably looks like right now.

Kim side eyes Jason for a second, before turning back to the smaller ranger, “privately?”

The yellow ranger shifts her questioning gaze to Jason, who only shrugs at her. “Um, okay,” she agrees hesitantly, letting Jason take her books to their next shared class together.

“Great,” Kim smiles, before grabbing her hand and leading her to the parking lot.

She doesn’t have a game plan yet, but her car seems like a private enough place to have this conversation.

The doors to her BMW slam shut, and the two girls sit in silence for a good five minutes.

“So…” Kim starts, finally breaking the silence, “how’s it going?”

“What?” Trini says, flatly, so that it doesn’t sound like a question.

Kim doesn’t notice, though. She’s too nervous. “Like what’s up? The weather is nice, isn’t it?”

It isn’t. It looks like it’s about to rain.

“Um, I guess,” Trini says, and wanting to cut to the chase, she asks, “Kim, what were you gonna talk to me about?”

The taller girl breathes slowly, trying to calm herself down. “Just,” Inhale.“ Gimme a second,” exhale. “I need to hype myself up.”

“... For what?”

“Um,” Kim chuckles nervously, shifting her body slightly so she’s fully facing Trini, “I thought I’d be way smoother about this.”

She’s by no means a patient person, but Kim is being uncharacteristically jittery, so whatever she has to say has to be big. “What is it?”

Kim doesn’t answer her, instead choosing to lean over the console and cup Trini’s cheek.

But before she can come any closer, Trini stops her, “what are you doing?”

“What…” Kim trails off, face redder than she ever lets herself be in public, “I’m sorry, I thought-“

“-it’s okay,” Trini interrupts, seeming to take pity on the usually confident girl stumbling over herself, “you didn’t think wrong.”

Kim is even more confused. “Oh. Then why-?”

“-because I don’t think you do.”

“What?”

Trini laughs, but there’s no humour in it. “Listen, Kim, I like you a lot and everything, but I don’t think you know what you want.”

“... what?” Trini isn’t making sense anymore. It’s like the more she tries to explain herself, the more confused Kim gets.

“If you still feel this way in a week, we can try again, but, I’m sorry, dude, I’m not one of your impulsive decisions.”

And with that last sentence, the shotgun door is slamming, and Kim’s watching Trini head back to class.

She sits in alone in the car for at least twenty minutes, before finally turning on the ignition, still trying to figure out what the fuck all that meant.

She spends a good few hours at her personal pool at the mines before heading home to shower, trying to clear her mind of how she was just rejected.

But the therapy doesn’t do much, and she’s dying to talk about it.

Figuring he’s settled himself at home comfortably by now, Kim texts Zack.

Kim 6:55pm: i told trini at school today that I liked her and then she told me i didnt know what i wanted

Zack 6:57pm: what’d u say

Kim 6:58pm: ok well tbh I didn’t say anything I just tried to kiss her

Zack 6:58pm: lol wtf she ain’t got the clue still??

Kim 6:59pm: ya idk.., she said she didnt wanna be one of my impulsive decisions so is that a rejection

It’s a genuine question. The tiny girl did say she could try again next week.

Zack 7:00pm: idk what that means dude. cant relate

Kim frowns. She hoped he’d have an answer for her or something.

Zack 7:00pm: everything i do is just bc i felt like doin it at that exact moment. T kinda thinks things out more

She nods along to that. She’s the same.

Briefly, she thinks about how Trini rejecting her made her feel today, and types in a few paragraphs before erasing each one.

Finally, she settles on her last paragraph, figuring Zack will understand what she means. He always does, anyway, even when she doesn’t have the words to explain.

Kim 7:05pm: tru.,, is it bad that i dont feel that sad about her rejecting me. I just mainly feel emo about how i couldn’t make out with her today.

Zack 7:06pm: ngl thats kinda fuckt but relatable

Kim 7:07pm: I just haven’t done it in so long im dying., my lips are like “where is another. i need to be moisturized by somebody else’s saliva”

Zack 7:08pm: Honestly S A ME

Kim 7:08pm: wait that gives me an idea

Anyone else would be nervous, but Zack isn’t really worried about the possibility of Kim showing up on his doorstep to make out with him. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it or anything, but the two of them run on impulse. He isn’t really one to overthink. It’s just Kim.

He’s in the middle of a game of 2048 when there’s a knocking on his door.

“Hey, Kim-“ he greets her as he opens his door, but before he can even finish his sentence, the girl in question jumps him, and he stumbles backward slightly, not quite registering what’s happening.

She wraps her legs around his waist, her arms coming around his neck, and it takes him a little while to register that Kimberly Hart is kissing him, and he still hasn’t made any move to kiss her back.

He quickly remedies this dilemma by shutting the door with his foot and placing his hands on her ass, trying to support some of her weight for her. Once sure of her comfortability, he lets himself melt into the kiss, and Kim responds enthusiastically, her tongue slipping into his mouth.

They stay that way for a few seconds, until he feels her grind slightly on his abs, and he sets her down onto the counter so he can kiss her neck.

“Is this okay?” Kim asks once her mouth is free, and he almost laughs at how belated the question seems— she’s already sporting a dark purple hickey on her neck.

“I don’t know,” he grins, and she frowns at him, “what underwear are you wearing?”

She rolls her eyes at him playfully before leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“Take my shirt off to find out. Not clickbait.”

#trimberlyelves #power rangers 2017 #kimzack #i still stan trimberly but if i had to choose a str8 ship itd b this 1 #my fic

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atomicsurvivor-isleofskye · 6 years

Text

Ep. 3 - “ Anyone who argues with me on Hanukkah is racist CONFIRMED “ - Rebecka

https://atomicsurvivor-isleofskye.tumblr.com/post/168517002366/tribal-immunity-3-selfie-scavenger-hunt

IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who the hell had the extra vote and why the fuck would they vote for heather? clearly, like fishbach, they have no fucking idea how to use it. oh well

I voted Jake S. I am incredibly angry cause I feel like my whole alliance was shattered. I need to talk to more players, but I don't want to seem like I'm scrambling. I do feel like Jake S and me can work together now though. I don't know, I just hope that this challenge won't send us back to tribal or I will die of shock.

Even though we won by a mile in the last tribal I still feel worried about my performance when compared to others, I don’t want to be a challenge beast but I want to pull my wait, which is why I want to impress in this challenge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1ppIUdlIWA

Why the fuck did I volunteer to do this when I have two finals coming up?? I just knew that the jakes probably wouldn't I guess. ugh.

Well... Madison is gone. My plan went accordingly. She is livid at me though, so if she comes back from Redemption Island my game is #toast. I feel awful. I really enjoyed playing with her, and it was truly out of my hands by the time the plan took won’t. I wish she knew this, but oh well. For now, I am going to lay low and ensure there are bigger targets than me going forward. Olivia seems annoyed that I feel bad about the vote. Heather feels bad too. What a world.

I feel so tired but... back to the real game. Gotta move on with heads held high and win this challenge.

I'm glad I'm safe another day! Anyway this challenge is fun I hope I don't cause us to lose!

So I’ve talked with Tim and we’ve agreed to vote for Aundra if we go to tribal, but leak that we’re voting for August so he plays his idol.

Well it is almost four in the morning. I have just completed 2 out of 3 essays due in 12 hours. So..time for a confessional. Luke and I have our work cut out for us tomorrow. It seems at this point that the 5 of us who volunteered for this challenge are going to all participate and try, but AnnMarie and Trip may need a little more pushing. So tomorrow the three of us (Heather included) are going to be the best cheerleaders we can be (and the quarterbacks). Since Madison was the one mapping out the moors we have to try and attempt to take over her role and do the same. We also have to do some intense trust building and keep an eye on Trip. All of us want Trip gone so if we lose this challenge (knock on wood x 1,000,000) he will be the easy target. However he is elusive in his experiences with the moors so in case of an idol the five of us will have to unfortunately split the vote between AnnMarie and him, even though we want to work with her. It would be hard to should that happen, I imagine. I do not want to come off as any sort of leader or anyone calling the shots, so should we lose (the wood is broken at this point but I'm still knocking) I am going to try, with the aid of Luke, to let them propose the plan and take the helm of this one and make them think they're calling the shots. Just hoping at this point that we don't have to. I need to trust build with the Jakes, particularly Canada Jake, and with Heather. I don't think I'll be able to get her to trust me like she used to but I need for that to happen. I can feel her slipping away from me for some reason. So that's about it. On to essay three! Counting down the seconds until this semester is over and finals are done...

hello i have had 3 hours of sleep and luckily that is when i seem to think best! someone is obv gonna find where the cursed idol is (which btw i own) sooner or later so i thought i would go back there so i could find the message of what it says when you visit it after someones taken it, i then rephrased it to tim, who freaked! wooh! and now we're panicking about who has the ~second~ idol. he offered to make an alliance w stephen n i which shows hes close to stephen n trusts him, i also think he has an alliance w august bcos he originally tried to make one w him n me before august and i had beef so i need to watch out for that too. i'm glad i've gained trust from tim but unfortunately tim thinks ain has the cursed idol bcos ain mentioned going to the swamp (where the idol is) before. HOPEFULLY she can talk him out of it, n he can like blame august or something lol. that is today. from me. ps i lvoe ain. happy holidays!

So thankfully the challenge ends on Friday which means I can actually get Home to do it. Most of the videos I can’t do but I’ll try everything else. Finding loopholes in this is super fun. I was so glad Tim and Ain switched. Tim is soooo awkward. Also August is digging his own grave. Stephan is pretty great, Rebecca is always distracted with irl stuff which I don’t blame her for. I don’t even know everyone else. They’re so silent

A potential swamp idol is in play! Tara brought that to my attention that it had been found (If it is even an idol)! And we are losing our shitss. Ain doesnt have it, I dont, Tara doesn't! And here I thought i could relax since I didnt compete in immunity! Boy was I wrong!

I currently love Tara she is a great person and the only person I talk to in the game I would talk to people more but irl my life is in shambles and I don’t know if I’ll be able to to stay in the game much longer hopefully we continue to win challenges and if we do lose hopefully they won’t vote me if we do lose of course my second chance is getting ruined but we will see

Ever since Madison left, Trip has been out for blood and trying to find out who betrayed him. I feel sooo guilty about the whole situation, but its part of the game. I am trying my hardest in the challenge, but so many things are hard to find. I'll make way some how and hopefully end this losing streak we have.

So last tribal, I got a vote which is super scary and made my heart drop. I have no idea who wrote it, but I've been thinking about it and I think it is someone who was in on the Madison plan and had an extra vote, saying that there were 9 votes and not 8. First of all, my name was written in script on the parchment and only one other name was written in script and that had Madison's name on it. Then again I also suspect it wasn't anyone. I gave up an advantage because it could have interfered with the plan to get Madison out, but maybe giving up the advantage put a vote against me. I don't know, but I plan on finding out sooner rather than later.

Trip is stressing me the fuck out I can't take it. I just want to win this challenge so much, that's all.

Anyone who argues with me on Hanukkah is racist CONFIRMED

Well tribal went as planned! The 3 votes for me were from trip, Ann, and Madison, who ended up being voted out. The only issue is there are 8 people on the tribe and 9 votes being read... WHAT!?!? My hunch is someone got an extra vote. ORRRR someone on the other tribe voted for heather. Orrrr heather fucked up in the moors and automatically got a vote cast for her. Idk. But now I feel secure in my 5 person alliance and if we have to go to tribal again, trip or Ann will be leaving us.

it feels like im praying for a win here, it sucks to be on the sidelines but with how busy i am come closer to holidays it worked out, i dont wanna have a huge numbers disadvantage compared to Iolaire, outside of those thoughts, the fact the moors hasn't turned up much is kinda sad, nestle point has been worthless because i was beaten to the punch, well i guess im gonna explore the rocky area

I should have signed up but I wouldn’t have, catch my drift?

Omg I love Heather so much she actually recorded herself singing the song I did for the challenge and I literally cried. So glad we're together and I'm so glad my initial doubts proved to be false. What a sweetheart :')

Some parts of the challenge were embarrassing to do but I did it so yayyyy. I hope we win!

Btw Tara? is winning!

Well... we are on the final day for the immunity challenge. Heather, Olivia and I have been doing VERY well in it, and AnnMarie and Trip have been falling behind. I don’t blame AnnMarie because no one else was stepping forward for the last spot, so she elected to. Trip, however, signed up without telling anyone and has done the least.

From what I have heard, Trip has also been trying to pin the strange extra vote for Heather on me. I don’t know why he would single me out (aside from the fact that this is Trump’s America and I’m a gay) but he needs to stop before I #snap. I’m hoping the tribe doesn’t get big-move-itis and wanna get me out, so I’m hoping they stick to voting Trip if we lose.

As for gameplay, I’m still close with Olivia and I am starting to warm up to Heather. I made fun of her in a video I made for the challenge, so hopefully she takes that as bait to talk to me 1 on 1.

Hey friends thirsty?? Here’s e some tea my bff Tara found the idol but it was gone somebody already found it she told the tribe andTim messaged her saying he thinks it was Rebecca who has the idol. Now I could use info to try to get numbers because I’m on a tribe of star war geeks and on the outs so if there’s a merge I’m going to need to be solid with some people so idk what to do cause if we lose they’re probably going to vote Rebecca.

The Saorsa tribe win immunity.

https://atomicsurvivor-isleofskye.tumblr.com/post/168590740101/tribal-immunity-3-results

I cant believe we lost tbh it's probably my fault! I don't want to be voted out yikes

So I was the worse out of all of us in getting things but that’s okay. I think it’s nice that we’re finally going to tribal since I do want to get rid of some people, preferably a male. Not that I have anything against them but the numbers are uneven and it’s annoying me. Or I could leave, who knows. I think I’ve been pretty annoying. However, a lot more people are never there so who knows.

Im literally so shook. I cant believe we lost. I thin we need to vote out an inactive.

My life is already a mess and to add to it my game is about to be a mess. So Tim wants me out and Tara and I are an double pack so when he told her she told me. But she came up with this plan that I pose as a girl and work in this all girl alliance so that way we can have the votes and vote Tim. The only problem is I’m a guy and this thing could flip on me

I hope we get one of the boys out!! Currently I'm gunning for Tim but I wouldn't mind if August leaves. Hopefully Rebecka is honest and wants to join us!

So Tim and the rest of the clone wars want me out because I’n “too quite” when I haven’t had WiFi all week and Even if I wanted too talk to them all they would do is make a small fake convo then talk about the game so idgaf what they think and really hope its one of them tomorrow and not me

So I just heard my name and I'm shook!! Apparently Vi wants to vote ME out over Aundra?!!? Vi sweetie this is our first tribal its too early to get me out!

Ok so theres a bit of scrambling about whether or not we should blindside August and potentially get their idol out or whether we should vote out Aundra for tribe strength. I hope a swap is coming soon though. Also Vi wanted me out because Im a threat but i convinced Stephen into talking her out of I by telling her she's "playing too hard too fast". This first tribal is bout to get interestinggg.

So I laying down enjoying a nice Friday night when August comes at me talking code and what not and I’m sitting around trying to figure out what he’s saying and we’re speaking this secret spy language learning we both want the same person out and I just can’t wait for tribal cause this tribe is full of player and this is going to be WILD

Voting time, hopefully this is a rarity. Straight into it, tim has lead pretty much everyone I’ve talked to onto a vote for aundra. Aundra hopes to vote tim instead, which I think is impossible, but I’ll fuel that fire. Tim was talking to me, offhand I said I was talking to him and someone else and he spiked that “Who is the other person” these kind of questions are the worst. I could really do without them Also, jg and Stephen might be in a “tim is god” cult not sure yet Oh and amazingly and annoyingly infinity suggested randoming his vote.. ????

i kind of need to work on my patience. tim almost immediately mentioned aundras name as someone we could vote and it spread really quickly. aundra is someone i adore!!! so i knew i needed to fix it real quick n needed a way to rope in the votes to make sure aundra could stay. both me and ain have confused aundra for a girl in the past (sorry we love u aundra) and thought it could've been a mutual confusion for a lot of people. i thought if we used that confusion, and told rebecka that aundra was a girl, we could give the impression that the boys have an 'all boys alliance' and are targeting the girls. aundra was down to pretend to be a girl and rebecka bought our story! we were all set to vote august, as long as there were no other drama, but then stephen messaged me saying he wanted to plan a blindside on august!! um perfect?? so currently ain, me, stephen, tim, and rebecka are planning to vote august, whilst vi and aundra will split votes on tim, and i assume jg and august will probably vote aundra. if august does end up using an idol, i'm pretty sure vi and aundra can convince him and jg to flip on tim since tim straight up lied to them both. that means in a revote me, ain, vi, jg, and august will most likely be voting tim. wooh! but yeah! tim and stephen basically saved my butt and threw their own under the bus with their plan. i love!! ps ain is the best and i love her lots

Meant to do this earlier but it took ages to upload https://drive.google.com/open?id=1RO9jF4muRQ1-f8ldV4Jx4Q1HyIV-7vr6

So I’ve been thinking about risks, and how risky this blindside is, but how riskier the alternative is. Sticking with the alliance Ive made is a loyalty move, and one that could give me power and take power away from August. However there are two risks, either August plays his idol or a person flips and one of us goes, or it works, but I become a target for pulling it off. The other option isnt much better, I could go to August and work with him, but thats a traitor move and would betray people who I doubt would forgive me, and paint a target on my back that would feel very familiar. I think in the end I have to stick with loyalty, I need that reputation, and even if it all goes wrong I believe it would be Tara or Tim, or even Rebecka over me, but you never know, and it depends on which scenario plays out. This round is really intense, so many variables, I just have to hope I’ve situated myself so theres less scenarios that end with me going home. So to speak.

WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON YES YES YES YES. I am so happy!!! I'm glad that I don't have to vote anyone off. I'm also glad that I am going to see what the other tribe is like, and the cracks that they have.

So this tribe keeps getting messier by the minute first I’m the target because when aren’t I. Then we say Tim’s going. Now they want to vote August because he might have the idol (which I think he might) which isn’t really a big deal in my opinion because it’s not. He wants to work with me and I want him saved but saving him could get me Thebes boot plus Tara and him have really bad blood Soviet idk what to do because if Tim has to stay i might go off

AYYYY WE WON. I could not sumbit some stuff for the hunt sadly but I did do a lot. AnnMarie was kind of useless.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/E3Va5mec2byaCMcS2 Me before this tribal

The plan to blindside August needs to come through! We're supposedly making him feel comfy so he doesn't play his idol and vote me out! That would be devestating.

All seriousness I have no clue how tonight's gonna go. If what everyone is saying is true then august should be going, but I know there's an alliance that Tim, Stephen, and I'm unsure who else are a part of. I've been talking to Tara and ain and we're going with the men's vote. Im also trying to make connections with people on both sides this time (a trick I learned from Ashvika shoutout to Ashvika) and hope it doesn't get me into too much trouble!

I haven't spoken in it, but I do have a girls only chat for future voting and alliance purposes, especially after Madison being voted off. I still trust lukas, and I want to work with Jake s, but I am not interested in working with trip. I don't like the vibe he gives off. I went to the Moors today, and saw a green thing at the cairn, which I think is a creature where you trade a part of yourself for magic, or something similar to that. I wonder what role it plays in the game haha. I'm so excited to see how the tribal for Iolaire goes, especially their confessions. I don't know any of them, so it'll be nice to see what they say, since I'm planning to getting to the merge. I can only hope and see what the future gives me.

Oh and also vi threw my name out there for being voted out and idk why so I'm nervous about that but hoping I don't leave tonight!!!

I honestly won't be shocked if I'm blindsided tonight I have a bad feeling about this. Hopefully the vote is simple and we all vote Aundra out. Hopefully no power or idol comes into play or I'll be screwed. Time will tell where people stand cause it's a easy vote , I beki

I’m gullible af and I’m probably leaving so if this is my last confessional, good luck to my right hand woman Tara

Aundra says they are voting tim.. and everyone else is voting aundra. I’m voting tim just in case aundra does pull out an idol, no other reason why. Not telling anyone, including aundra

https://atomicsurvivor-isleofskye.tumblr.com/post/168623103951/tribal-council-3-iolaire

August is voted out 5-3-1-1.

#ALostPuppyDog #episodes

2 notes · View notes

survivormontenegro · 5 years

Text

Episode 9: “-28... negative. 28. negative. twenty. eight.” - Jason

i'm fully a psycho, i practiced my acting in the mirror to pretend I accidentally voted Ian. its a mess. a REAL mess. and I might have done it for no reason, they took it super well so maybe I... shouldn't tell Jason...

i literally am why Ian left. I wanted him out since round two, and I made it happen even though nobody wanted it to. I FINALLY ACTUALLY MADE A MOVE IN A GAME. I FINALLY DID SOMETHING I'M SO HAPPY asldfa. I could CRY, I can leave this game happy.

um da fuck alalkdgh well I aldlkj so alkjdfc;l.

^ decipher thats all I got.

No honestly I don't know what to think right now. Everyone went crazy last tribal and I feel like I need to explain myself a little bit? First off my alliance voted someone oppositely of what they told me they'd do. And secondly, they used me as a total fallback. And what made it me CRACKED asf was that they told me none of it. Like we talked in the morning about how shit was going to go down tonight and decided on Jason. We were all in agreement and it was in motion. Later Tom asked me what the vote was and I was told to tell him Ian. Except Alex told me that he told him Me. Without warning me. At all. Which is like shitty. So I kinda got paranoid and started asking around and seeing what was what, and thats when Tom came up to me and said that there was a big blindside to vote me off led by Alex. Of course, my initial thought was that this could be happening and he made this big plan to vote off Alex and I talked to Ali about it but ULTIMATELY I decided to go with Jason as I promised. My mistake I guess was telling Jones, who I really trusted, saying that they wanted to make a move on Alex but I trusted him and said I voted Jason. I only said so because I was worried that it might fall through and I might need to be saved by her idol. Which I know is hers of course and I don't want to dictate when she can use it but with this insanity going around I just was really nervous. But honestly I can't believe that Alex and them all just decided against voting Jason without telling me. They said it was to save me, which of course is true, but they didn't tell me. And it was SHITTY for Alex to not tell me that he threw my name to Tom, like truly dumb. I know I've said I might want him out soon a lot, but honestly I HAVE NO IDEA what I'm going to be doing with the next tribal. I do wanna say tho that I like him as a person a whole lot! He's sweet and loyal and really kind, I just think he's gonna end up dominating this game if people let him.

PS I don't know if Julia has a problem with me. We were suppose to be voting together for Jason, and while she doesn't owe me anything, she just wouldn't talk to me. Like I think I wouldn't have CRACKED so hard if I could just reach her and get a grip on how she was voting.

She's being chaotic on purpose but only to me? I don't get it.

okay I'm off the alliance call. I just sent a really like emo paragraph to my hostchat but I'm so happy, which is gross because I just did Ian so dirty but lemme explain.

I have played 7 games before this (3 Survivor, 4 Big Brother) - I've come 2nd in five of those games, and without exception I have never EVER played a game I'm proud of. I always make fun of my game for being crap. Like I'm always a goat, always crap, and always play passively.

I'm so excited about this season and this game because... I'm finally playing the game and a game I am proud of. Like I'm not fussed about winning or making FTC, because lets be real, it fully is not happening, but I wanna leave the season proud of my game. And I already so am, like... I've wanted Ian out since round two, and I've been determined to make it happen.

And I did that. I literally was angling to get him out via a vote switch and then when the vote split came up, I knew exactly what to do. I knew Ian would be less willing to make amends and more able to make connections. I knew Ian was a threat and so urgently needed to be removed because he could keep a grip on the game.

I can't believe that. In a tribe of twelve people, where nobody wanted Ian out (the four votes for him were all just for the sake of a vote split), and I singlehandedly forced it through. I saw a target, knew to make a move and got them out. IM SO HAPPY.

in other news... I am a psycho, I literally went to a mirror, practised how to look shocked and then went on that call and acted my HEART OUT. I think people bought it, but it is. the. most. cracked. thing. I. have. ever. done.

I'm now kinda stuck, because I have two options. Either I tell Jason what I did earning his trust, or I just... try and work with Jason without telling him. One is riskier with more potential long term benefit, and one is a much safer bet. I am gonna think on it and decide tomorrow.

Also I was really mean about Jones, Mo & Alex in my confessionals earlier. I take it back, on calls they are so FUN. I think they just aren't texting people so I don't judge. Doesn't mean I necessarily wanna go too far with them, but I love them as people and feel bad for being mean.

also since this round solidified that much as I'm proud of my game, I'm not making FTC, I'd rank people in the order I'd vote for them as a juror as:

Jules > Alex > Mitch > Tom > Benj > Jones > Julia > Jason > Caeleb > Mo

Jules/Alex/Mitch seem very switched on, Tom making it to the end would be a real underdog journey, Benj is a king and has the right idea with an undercover duo, Jones/Julia savvy queens, Jason actually also has an underdog story we will need to see with that one, Caeleb telling Jones about the Alex plan is a real dumb move imo which lowers his rank for me. Mo is my SON and I love him but would need to see more game from him to be comfortable voting him at FTC in any scenario.

also ian talking about dom not deserving to win switzerland set off kill bill red flags for me. nobody who talks about dom negatively lives to tell the tale, you go BYEBYE. but also ian ilysm, like you were a major threat and had to go, but on a personal level i love you with my whole heart.

okay last confessional for now, the two moods:

youtube

June 30th yeehaw

youtube

July 2nd

youtube

Extra notes:

Benj and i are working on the idol hunt together and I’m already on like,, 30 w him so it’s gucci, I’m not gonna tell Alex ab it or anything bc I kinda wanna try and stray away from him a bit?? Like he doesn’t have to know EVERYTHING Ab my advantages yk?

And I’m probs not gonna try and use the vote cover on anyone rn bc every single one of my allies is like,,, up for exposure???? So that’s wacky,,

Also bc Ian was absolutely ROBBED of jury we’re thinking it’s a F2

Bc OF COURSE IT IS which I’m not mad ab but I have to think ab who i’d Really want to sit with,,, best case scenario for me is probs Benj,, maybe Mo? Not too sure,, but um ya barbecue sauce on my thiddies here we go into f11 onward and upward amirite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGv10gbJxVU

this was b4 tribal

So I lost Ian... and I'm kinda mad about it! I can't help but feel like I'm on my way to the jury because even the next day people are still acting super weird with me. I don't really understand how I'm a threat to anyone right now though??? Like I guess the Me/Ian power duo thing was valid but Ian's gone now so that argument should be moot.

I have no idea what to do moving forward. Up this point my game has been based on how I interpret conversations with people and how much I thought I could trust them... but I can't do shit if no one wants to talk to me (and I cannot stress ENOUGH how much sense this doesn't make).

The one good thing about me staying in the game I guess is I now have free reign to do whatever the fuck I want with my time left here. If I can blow up as many games as possible and stir the pot as much as I can at least I go out having fun?? Right?? But bottom line is I fully intend on lone-wolfing this game for however long I'm still here for.

My current first steps are to first throw Julia under the bus to Caeleb, and hopefully get something going with Caeleb. If I'm in with Caeleb, it might help with Alex, Jones, and Mo using me as a number.

Next is to pretty much sell my soul to the kingpin of this entire thing right now, Alex. I'm imagining a faux-Phillip Sheppard scenario where I tell Alex he owns my vote, but he doesn't really. I have no clue if he'd bite but it's worth trying because what the fuck else do I have left.

On the topic of Alex, I could also try to shift his attention into targeting someone like Mitch or Benj? I can embellish a little bit and tell Alex that Mitch is spreading a rumor that he has the Dirt People Idol or something along those lines.

Next on the (tentative) agenda is to talk with Jules and try to see where I stand with her. For some reason I feel the most burned by her from last tribal?? I don't trust her at all but as long as she thinks that door is still open I'll hear what she has to say. Maybe I can guilt her into giving me more info as well?

And the last thing I can think of is try making a better connection with Mo and Jones, and hopefully start some sort of game relationship with those two. I don't really see myself getting far with this one considering these two have been hit or miss in the conversations I've had with them, but there isn't anything worth not trying at this point.

Back to a less gamebotty point of view, I've honestly been oscillating between being angry and being upset about how last tribal broke down, mainly because I feel like Ali, Julia, and Mitch could've waited a lot longer to do something like this if they were worried about me and Ian (which I still believe they had very little reason to be worried right now in the first place). But I also feel like I had 9 doors slam in my face and the only person I can still be real with is Tom. I'm back at square one and I'm not happy about it, but I didn't come back to this godforsaken ORG to go down easy so I've gotta keep moving for as long as I can.

(Also I need to be willing to let go of Tom. I'm not gonna go out of my way to burn him, but I'm also beyond the point of wanting to stick my neck out too far for him. My longevity is the only priority right now.)

okay so... this vote is operation get Caeleb out of here. I really wanted to work with Caeleb, and I think he could have been a really useful number, but like... him telling Jones about the plan to vote Alex really, really rubbed me the wrong way. Like I do not trust him at all after that, I really do not know where we are at now.

So here is the goal. I'm about to call Jason and hopefully get him back on side. Then hopefully between Jules and I, we can convince Space Jam to vote Caeleb (I'm still confused how close he is to Mo/Jones/Alex, could be a good test). With Caeleb, a potential number for them, out of the way, next round its time for a big move, its time for one of Jones/Alex/Mo to go.

The numbers for that move would be (hopefully) Me, Jules, Julia, Tom, Jason, Mitch (6/10) + Benj hopefully, or at worst I'll just keep him in the loop. I really think Caeleb going could be so so good, it really opens up numbers and weakens Jones/Mo/Alex - it also narrows down where the idol is, something that we have to stay conscious of.

At the moment, my closest allies are definitely Jules and Benj. Jules is just.... the best, so woke, so on the ball, I am LOVING playing this season with them. Benj is such a king, my earliest like 'proper' ally even though Julia approached me after like 0.5 seconds in the game ha. I love Benj, and at the moment he also is quite out of the loop, he could also be a workable FTC option. I'm really stuck with Jules and FTC - you would be crazy to take Jules, as articulate and smart as they are, to FTC, but I really don't think I could face writing Jules' name down, I would feel AWFUL.

Also thoughts on Tom? He is too good for this world, he was so sweet about Ian/Jason going and like I really relate to the emotions he feels in games, on a personal level he is the best.

I feel like my plan going forwards is vote off Caeleb, then Alex, then Jones/Mo, and then figure it out from there. I really think if I play it right, I can slowly and calmly continue to have real swing over this game, I'm mc'loving it.

Also, because I keep doing this and its a fun pattern at this point, this is the order in which I would vote for people at FTC, if I go 11th at the moment:

Jules > Jason > Alex > Julia > Mitch > Jones > Tom > Benj > Caeleb > Mo

okay i just called Jason, such a king! i feel like i was VERY awkward, and I like I didn't articulate myself very well, but... he gets that we are going to need to potentially pull some shenanigans. I really want Caeleb then Alex, but if we need to just do Alex first, I can deal with that.

I think ideal situation is Tom wins immunity, Space Jam wants to vote Caeleb - we all go along with it, and then Alex goes next round, but we will see eek!

Oh wow hi it’s me, Mo.

So here’s the rundown on what’s happened the past couple rounds for my dumbass. First let’s start off with getting to merge, it’s a talent of mine, don’t look at my Italy placement. We’re out of that dumb fucking cave so no more waiting which is great. Another cool thing is I’m actually allies with Julia now which is weird because I’m going to be honest I was terrified of her going into this game. We had a past game experience that made me fearful. But now I’m sitting comfy in a majority alliance with Alex, Ali, Jones, Jules & Julia. By the way this is a first time thing for me, being in a majority alliance during merge. So this at least guarantees me final 7 or 6. It took me four tries to spell guarantees, who’s idea was it to put the u in front of the a it’s fucking stupid. But like here’s the thing, my gameplay is somewhat underwhelming. Basically my game relies on jury management and likability. Because I can’t strategize for shit, I just kinda smile and waddle forward when a door opens. I thought at this part of the game I would be close allies with Tom again but that didn’t happen. Apparently JJ told Tom about an alliance made in old Durmitor with Alex, Jules, Jones & Evan??? Made to like simmer JJ down. So now Tom doesn’t want to work with any of them (Which mind you three of them are my close allies) so he confronted Alex about it and I think he was like butthurt about not being included??? But like bitch I wasn’t included either but I’m not sulking about it. It wasn’t even a serious alliance. Also back to my alliances, sorry I know this is mixed up. MESSY, WHO BROUGHT NAPKINS IM GETTING MESSY. But I was also in an alliance with Alex, Jones & Caeleb after the swap. Called the Durmitor Dominators which is still a thing. But Caeleb wasn’t added to the Space Jam alliance with the group of 6 so I’m like??? What’s going on there??? I should probably talk about it with Alex because I am confusion. Also now there’s this new twist since we got out of the Dua Lipa cave, now we have to adjust to the sunlight with this exposure twist which basically means whoever gets eliminated gets to expose three people and whoever is exposed still by the tribal has to write who they’re voting for in chat. So I love that. But that’s about it for me thank you for taking the time to read this.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE VOTING JASON AT ALL THE FUCK I WANT TO GET ALEX THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BUT NO CAELEB APPARENTLY WANTS TO VOTE JASON I HATE THIS THEY REALLY ARE TRYING TO GET MY HOMIE JASON OUT!!! WAS I CONSPIRING AGAINST HIM AND IAN ALL WEEK? MAYBE SO! BUT I DON'T WANT HIM OUT YET!!! I DON'T!! WE ARE TRYING TO BLINDSIDE ALEX BUT THIS AIN'T WORKING UGHGHGHGHG *STOMPS ON THE GROUND* UGHGHGHGH I HATE THIS GOODBYE

Sooo besides the fact that it took me 5 minutes to find the confessional tab because I havent been doing these im here to update!!! Ian was just voted out and although i'm fine with it for now, I was NOT expecting a split vote. That makes me feel a little bit nervous going further into the game. I did think it was beneficial to split up the Jason/Ian duo but i was expecting Jason to go; not Ian. Anywho im almost positive im in the same predicament this vote. I've mended my relationship with Jason and im working very well with Tom to flip the script on Alex (who I believe to be running the game). Typically I would wait a few more rounds to get Alex out, but if everyone is playing for him to win, I might miss my opportunity like I did in my last season. I'm not blind! I'll do whatever it takes to go far and put myself in people's endgames. RN swapped Durmitor has the power. I dont necessarily like that because although im not on bad terms with them, I'm definitely on the bottom of that totem pole.

Tom sent seven confessionals in a row to be put at different places throughout this and last episode??? I guess??? But no thank you, so enjoy the thoughts in the order he apparently had them. ~Drew

*1 hour before tribal*

WHY IS ALEX SO CRACKED HONESTLY alex has said ian, caeleb and jason to 3 people i dont understand i am most likely getting played here but i dont want any of them to go, i see very high potential when working with all three of them so i think im going to try to make a big move and take out alex. I'm immune this round but next round im not so its a bit risky. I think Ali and Jules would be on board if there was the numbers there so if me ian jason julia ali and caeleb all voted together that would be majority and alex would be the first blindside of the game....

Tom

*10 hours before tribal council*

Everyone is pretty much dead silence i feel like everyone has an idea of who they would like to target but no one is really wanting to be the first person to throw a name out there so like its gonna get so fucking messy whilst im asleep and imma wake up to one big mess i already know it

Tom

*1-2 hours before tribal*

Okay so I've just woken up and i just spoke to alex and he seems like he just wants to do anything to get his ass safe this round which is sketch af, he is saying the vote is caeleb to me so thats cool and all but i asked caeleb what he was hearing just to get both sides and caeleb said alex said jason..... so like wtf is alex trying to do.....

TOM

ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION sinking ship is near i cba voting for alex now that he has told jones, he did the same thing as evan and i am just ready for his ass to go out the door ugh im so annoyed!

Tom

OKAY I CANNOT DEAL WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CAELEB KID HONESTLY WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT WHY DID YOU GO AND TELL JONES LITERALLY ALL OF WHAT I SAID....ITS A KNOWN FACT THAT THEY'RE A DUO OPEN YOUR STUPID EYES IDIOT!!!! THANKS SO MUCH NOW IMMA GET FUCKED OVER AND GET TARGETED BY ALEX AND HIS MINIONS NEXT ROUND. THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR TRYING TO SAVE SOMEONE I WANT TO WORK WITH IN THIS GAME....

Tom

*Tribal just happened*

Oh okay uhm well thats just fucking sad. I would like to say i never cry when a close ally is eliminated but i am a mess, i am crying right now at work and my driver is like "uhm are you okay..." yeah man im okay just crying over an ally that essentially died because i cant even speak to him anymore rip :( I miss ian so much i am so fucking furious that i am blindsided again at merge tho.... also really 9 people were in on that blindside split vote.....WOW! I am so surprised that ali and jules didnt tell me about the plan tbh they can say all they want about how they thought i knew but like if you thought i knew you should've just spoken to me about the vote.... like WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SPLIT UP JIAN when JONEX is still in the game they're much more dangerous and so much harder to get out every round we get closer.

Tom

waa waaa waaa call the wambulance! My plan is working so far i think tbh, mitch has been very responsive about this round and i am fairly certain that he has realised how fucked of a position he is in this game without me and jason here so he made an alliance chat which is good because that means he will work with us even just for this round. I think a lot of people now jian is out, have realised the next big big duo in this game is jalex so hopefully the movement on them occurs!

Tom

*hour after tribal*

Okay so this is shit me and jason are in minority and will most likely get votes split against us.... time to do something about it, in the past merges ive been too ive been in the bottom, and i was taken out this time it wont be happening as much as alex would like it too i will not let it happen! This cast seems to have fairly emotional sympathetic people in this game so imma express how sad i was at the tribal say i was balling my eyes out when ian left and how i feel so down and out and that i am very lost and sad in this game. Because this will make people feel bad for not including me in the plans and also it will create conversation for them to work with me to build my spirits up again and make me happy.

Just thinking about this exposure twist. Kinda cool actually. I'm surprised to say it but I think this might be the type of thing that I like to see??? Who am I. Kinda wish the reward challenge was more of a flash game over a typing game, only because I wanna know how hard the winner worked to get that score. Like for typing you kinda either are already good at it prior or you're shit at it, so I can't tell if Alex put in a bunch of time and effort to win. If it was some weird flash game that had a steep learning curve then I would know better and have a better grip on the game Alex is playing. Regardless, kinda excited about Benj having the curse because I think(?) that we can use that to actually do something crazy? Like I'm thinking a 5 vote blindside tie type situation where Benj throws out a red herring type of vote. We'll see, but I think I need to keep a low profile so who knows if that'll come to fruition.

okay mitch! has! been! elevated! to! king! status!

me and mitch have had a good conversation which I'm super SUPER happy about, he is someone who is in a similar spot to me, so I am SOOO happy we are talking yay. He agrees Alex needs to go soon, like... people are on the same page, maybe its time for it to hap' hap' happen.

since alex won reward, he'll of course save himself, which is fine. it means julia and benj are exposed, and while they're both close allies of mine, they are probably the two who would be in the toughest spot to vote alex, julia since she is like out of nowhere close to him, and benj since he is close to jones.

the plan could be to get alex and co to agree to another split vote or something, which separates numbers that could allow us to strike versus Alex. Maybe if we did like... Alex/Jones/Mo/Caleb on someone, Benj/Julia on another and then Me/Jason/Tom/Jules/Mitch on someone, making a 5-4-2 vote. oh god these merge vote counts have been so so cracked.

we will see. i think my placement this season is going to be like... 8th or something? I am scared of flipping for two votes in a row, BUT I feel like the good news is if I was getting voted out, either Tom or Benj would now hear about it, so I should be able to still play my idol. We will see ahh, but its very scary!

as always with my confessionals:

Bootlist: Alex > Caeleb > Jones > Jason > Mo > Mitch > Julia > Jules > Me/Tom/Benj F3

here is the problem though, I can't vote Jules out. I am such a Jules stan, voting them out would snap my heart it half, I really don't think I could do it. I think I would need others to do it, I'd probably want to be blindsided by it and kept in the dark.

and then the order I would vote people in an FTC:

Jules > Alex > Jason > Mitch > Benj > Julia > Tom > Jones > Caeleb > Mo

Ok so now I’m getting added to a third alliance chat which is supposedly a final 3 alliance. But like here’s the thing, I’d be sitting next to Jones & Alex. I have a snowballs chance in hell of winning against either of them. Everyone loves Jones and Alex has been kinda running this game so far. I’m just kinda his goat. Don’t get me wrong I wanna start making some moves but it’s too early, right now I want to stay unthreatening and low key. I might just have to ride this coat tail to the end because if we have bitter jurors they’ll end up looking at Alex.

So Alex says he didnt read the challenge post... yet came 2nd?

I dont buy it, I fully believe if I ask Benj and others what Alex asked to give him, he will say negatives. He is such a fraud.

also this split vote will be his undoing... his ass is about to be grass... mwahahahahha

-28... negative. 28. negative. twenty. eight. what the FUCK did i do to these people??

I don't even know where to go from here.

...but I mean I kinda do.

I can use this to further push the narrative that I've got no one and hence nowhere near the biggest threat/I'm the easiest target there is and HOPEFULLY people take their eyes off of me.

Aside from that what I WANT to do is vote Alex out (big change from my last confessional, I know). I think I have Tom and Jules on board if I were to pitch it to them, same with Mitch and Ali. I MIGHT have Caeleb but he ran it back to Jones last round so the precedent's already set. So from there to have a five vote majority was I was considering to split the other 6 votes. Julia and Benj are getting their votes exposed so they probably want to vote majority, which I'm anticipating to be someone like myself, Tom, or Caeleb. Ideally, the vote splits one of two ways— NEVERMIND

!! BREAKING !!

Tom says via Ali that Alex thinks that the 9 that split their vote on me and Ian are gonna split their vote again on me and Tom, but Ali isn't on board with that (if he's being honest), and I'd have to assume the same goes for Mitch since there's now a chat with myself him and Tom. So the plan from there (which ties into what I was planning anyway) is to get Jules on board (we called the day after tribal, she SOUNDS like she'd be down), and let the rest of them split their vote.

So that means...

FUCK Alex

FUCK Caeleb

FUCK Julia

FUCK the rest of em bc who??

[but not really it's a game I don't mean it]

But as far as tribal plans right now go... ideally it turns out

5-4-2

5: Me/Tom/Mitch/Ali/Jules for Alex

4-2: Some combination of Alex/Mo/Caeleb/Jones/Julia/Benj for me/Tom

I probably get the 4 again, Tom gets 2... or other way around??? I get the 2 if Mitch/Ali/Jules are meant to vote for me?

But anyways don't be shocked if this is all for nothing and this is my last confessional x

god... negative 28...

i am so frustrated with julia. okay so tom told me apparently on call she said she has a F3 with Alex/Jones, specifically a F2 with Alex. Now... I fully feel like Tom made this up, BUT I asked Julia about the vote and she says she wants to ride out the Space Jam alliance...

is she nuts. is she NUTS kjlasdfas. Literally I feel like WAY too much of this tribe is drinking the Alex Kool-Aid and I can't describe how frustrating it is lowkey. Like I sided with Alex relying on like... Julia's wokeness that we could then detach ourselves, Alex is now FULLY running this tribe and it terrifies me.

It solidifies to me that Alex needs to go this round. Like....this round. He is running this tribe, he has grips on Jones/Mo/Caeleb/Julia, and potentially Benj through Jones. That is SUCH a large amount of this tribe, so I need to stick my neck out. I'm fully embracing that I'm not making FTC at this rate, so it's just time to shake stuff up.

Here is the plan. I am going to play into the split vote plan, we can get Alex and his minions as they shall henceforth be called to split their votes between Jason and Tom, and then maybe Me/Tom/Jules/Mitch/Jason vote out Alex or any of his minions, I don't care which.

At this rate, I'm going to be going into F10 in a potential 5-5 situation, but honestly... Jones/Mo say about a word and a half of game between them each round so they are not workable allies, Julia who flips at literally the drop of a hat is suddenly misted by Alex and Co., Caeleb is just infuriating for telling Jones about the Alex vote, shows he can't be trusted. That leaves only Benj my king, the only woke one, though I am afraid of his connection to Jones.

I just WISH this TRIBE would use their BRAINS. Specifically Julia at the minute.

I’m so TIRED I’ve been so quiet maybe that’s why people are thinking about targeting me :)

Ok ok lemme back up a lil,, this is all according to Alex,, which,,,,,,, idk about YALL but he’s giving off a bit of a paranoid energy right now,, and I’m fully aware of the fact that he has the best chance at winning this game out of anyone here, sooooo maybe let him get eaten by the wolves soon? Not necessarily soon but like,, ya soon. Don’t wanna get him to the end skkdkdkdks. I also think separating myself from Alex might take a target off of MY back, I’ve been trying to separate myself like on my own terms but I think I need to start like,,, setting the stage kind of thing. Idk all I know is that I have a better chance sitting with anyone BUT him,, So maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to push Alex into the fire a little bit.

I have yet to hear a name, though I’d like to get Tom out personally? He can slide utr really easily,, plus we can (or at least I can) confirm he doesn’t have an idol, the only question is does Jason have an idol and is willing to play it on the only person he voted with? Who KNOWS!! We just have to make them feel comfy (assuming we have the majority vote that is KSKSKS)

But ya stay tuned laid ease

okay so alex is really trying to play me and its very transparent. now, this could just be tom playing which if so, good for him, his mind and his MIST, but here is the deal.

tom tells me him and alex had a conversation about pairs, where Tom threw out Alex/Jones as a pair, and Alex threw out Julia and I. Then in Alex's retelling of that same conversation, side note its funny that I heard the same conversation from both sides in the space of about 10 minutes, Alex conveniently leaves out that he threw out me and Julia as a pair, and he is SO defensive about him and Jones as a pair.

Jones was on my ass immediately when Caeleb told her Alex could be the vote, and Alex also knew super fast. You are really going to try and convince me that you aren't even close when you have spent 23 days on a tribe together, and from the sounds of things, voted together every single time! im not buying it.

for this vote, i want either alex or an alex minion out, i think mo would be the most do-able. jones is close to caeleb, who we will need as a number, so if alex's idol paranoia is too big, maybe we need to remove mo from the equation? we will see.

mo is my org son, and i love him on calls and such, but I am confused by the game he is playing. I'm potentially super underestimating him, which is a definite possibility, but at the moment.... its like... do something charlie. is he just going to hide behind Jones and Alex, because that's not smart.

i would like to see Alex go this vote, but i think he is already too paranoid (i think tom stoked his paranoia WAY too much). I think Mo could end up being the back up vote, which is probably actually okay, because Alex is a definite shield moving forwards, particularly if still paired with Jones.

Updated Jury Vote Rankings:

Jules > Alex > Jason > Tom > Mitch > Benj > Julia > Jones > Caeleb > Mo

okay I'm like... getting frustrated with Alex. he literally does not know how to be subtle about anything lowkey, like this vote split is literally his 4 OG Durmitors voting 'correctly', leaving all his unsure numbers Me/Jules/Julia/Benj on Jason... like mc'what...

i really want him gone, EVERYONE is drinking the Alex Kool-Aid. Maybe I'm not seeing it, but Jones and Mo particularly are playing SO passively, I fully want to scream.

I need to convince Caeleb to make a move. It's really time to just send Alex, or literally any of his minions out of here. I want to include Julia so badly, but she is so blindly misted by him out of nowhere, I hate it UGH.

I think I want Alex and Mo out as the next two votes, Alex runs the show and Mo is just too passive of a player to be a workable ally. Jones is much more of a threat, but Benj likes her and I want to respect.

I just can't deal with Alex and Co. playing so passively for another round, I'll scream KLASDFA.

Alex aka Gru (because of his minions) unfortunately goes byebye tonight. It took a bit of last minute persuading of Caeleb, but we have GOT THIS ahh.

It looks like its going to be either 6 votes or 5 if Tom self-votes on Alex (Me, Caeleb, Jules, Tom, Jason & Mitch), 3 on Tom (Jones, Mo & Alex) and 2 on Jason (Julia and Benj).

This could definitely backfire, but I don't think I'll go home (famous last words), and if Tom/Jason gets idoled out, next round there is still wiggle room because I still have my KING Benj on the other side. Jones/Mo/Julia are going to be coming for my neck, but I'd rather face the minions than Gru himself NNN,

i might live to regret this if Caeleb turns on me, but I take back everything negative I've EVER said about Caeleb. He is an icon, and so so fun to talk to. I feel like he really trusts me now, so I can't turn on him unless I have to.

New goal final five is Me/Jules/Benj/Tom/Caeleb... and I think its do-able. We get Alex out this vote, then Julia/Mo/Jones/Jason as the next four, followed by Mitch... I'm not sure how exactly, but we will figure it out AHH.

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