#if i adress this with my mom she’ll just guilt trip me if i talk about this to anyone else nothing good will happen they’ll just b burdened

[peepo]

#i genuinely need to jill myself #if i adress this with my mom she’ll just guilt trip me if i talk about this to anyone else nothing good will happen they’ll just b burdened #i keep thinking that maybe i just need to not talk to anyone else. maybe #but the last time i did thag i went into such a depressive spiral i nearly died for real for real. anyways #whining #at least it’s in the tags this time #genuinely see no way out of this unless i win the lottery or something which maybe i should start playing #i can’t do anything right or save my money because all of it goes to my mom i can’t not give her money when she asks for it and i just #wanna die real bad. i don’t even care if she’s left as a mother of none i just hate living here i hate being alive #and nothing helps even if i spend time with my friends i still come back to this sick house where i’m yelled at and berated and treated lik #a psych ward patient. i’ve been through that already i don’t need it at home. i hate this so much i wish i was never born and never alive #i can see why my friend killed himself and i just wanna join him in not having to bear any of tbis ugly ugly self hatred and suffering and #isolation anymore. #i hate this. i hate myself. i don’t want to be here. #please please please i just want to die and be rid of all of these issues. love gender money family psyche mind everything it’s just too #much!!! yesterday i kept having to wake myself up because my dream felt so real and i didn’t want to believe that i it t was or else i woul #due in real life or hurt myself or die for real i just. i’m so psychotic and mental and i just want it over with. i hate it here LOL #whatevrr. goodnight. my phone charged so i can listen and ruin my hearing #because my walls are so thin i have to blast white noise into my ears to sleep #everything sucks. everything is horrible. i just wish i were dead