#if i can be a jewish athiest (which i am) then they can be a christian culture athiest (which they are) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

black-mesa-slut-voice · 3 years

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Hey! you should probably change your benrey design, they have a fair few antisemetic features (skin tone, teeth, claws namely)

Thank you for contacting me about this! gonna put it under a readmore cus i like to talk ig!

the TLDR is i’ve done my research and will be changing my designs. My art does have some things I can do better- and I will do better from now on. I’m going to fix Benrey’s skin/blush tone and change some other features of his. But if anyone who’s jewish (and isnt an anon) genuinely feels uncomfortable I am willing to change my designs further. I firmly support the jewish community and want to do better if I can.

Alright! Again, thank u for this ask, I just wanted to go in a lil deeper.

Anyway! to start, I want to make things clear- I just turned 20, white, raised christian now athiest. Not that it changes anything, I just want to point out that- while I have done my best to research- I am not Jewish, so take everything I say with a grain of salt, because I don’t want to speak over actual jewish voices.

I've done a lot of reasearch both before and after receiving this ask, and I agree that my art could have a lot of things I can change. I will admit that I’ve used some bad stereotypical features in combination with each other, mainly grey/blue tinted skin and blush. I will be extra careful with it from now on, and not do that anymore. It was wrong of me and I apologize. I won’t go back and delete old art, but I edited my sidebar and icon and I’ll keep it like that from now on in any art I do.

The main reason for the stuff that I’ve done isn’t because hes the villain- it’s because I like drawing creatures/monsters/aliens- splatoon, tmnt, etc have always been my favorite things to do. I love creating biological headcanons and ‘xeno’ art, and my benrey is an alien. I find it fun to create biological, anatomical and social hcs for things like that. Which is why he has them at all- not because he’s a “villain”, but because I like monsters and aliens. I thought the blue thing was cool, but I see why it’s wrong now. I didn’t really associate that a lot of my interests unintentionally overlap with things that can be harmful.

Basically, Benrey canonically said “I’m not human” and I sorta took that and ran with it cus I love monster designs, not out of any malicious/antisemitic intent.

But more importantly than any of my preferences, I support my jewish friends and community here on tumblr and irl, and don’t want to fall into anything to unintentionally harm people. Their comfort is more important than my interests.

Last, I want to point out I have like... 15+ ‘benreys’ that i use for different arts, different aus, and whatnot- and my actual design of my main benrey literally changes all of the time. He’s had everything from antennae to frog eyes to unicorn tails just depending on how I’m feeling, I don’t have a set design for Benrey. I know it is not Jewish people’s job to correct me; It’s my job to do my research and avoid caricatures, but if there’s anything else that’s harmful that I missed, please tell me. Again, I’ve done research, but there’s a lot of conflicting information even from the jewish community (like on fangs+claws).

And as far as bubby goes, cus I know it’ll be brought up most likely- I don’t really draw him, but a while ago I gave bubby sharp teeth, but I don’t do that anymore. Kinda realized it was wrong after I started seeing more posts going around, and realized it didn’t make any sense? lol. I havent really posted anything with him in it lately tho so. The only nonhuman characters i hc to be that way are Benrey and Tommy; Bubby and Coomer are completely normal people as far as my designs go. I don’t hc Benrey with stuff cus he’s a villain, it’s only because he literally says ‘I’m not human’ and I like to draw creatures

SO: TLDR ive done my research and will be changing my designs. My art does have some things I can do better- and I will do better from now on. I’m going to fix Benrey’s skin/blush tone and change some other features of his. But if anyone who’s jewish (and isnt an anon) genuinely feels uncomfortable I am willing to change my designs further. I firmly support the jewish community and want to do better if I can.

#antisemetism mention

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jewishevelinebaker · 4 years

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@dykekima and I have a dragon age inquisition college AU called Dykes and Dorian that im going to share for clout

Inky, Sera, and Cole are all freshmen and they make tiktoks together.

Sera keeps changing her major

Cole is a social work major

Lace harding is an ecology major. Sera and Inky were both trying to get into her pants before they started dating, but then they hooked up and the rest is history

Dorian is a senior and a biomechanical engineering major, but he saved his history prereq for his last year bc he hates it. He met Inky, Sera, and Cole in this class.

Dorian, loudly: I AM TA'ING A COURSE ON BIOMECHANICS. WHY DOES IT MATTER IF I KNOW WHICH UGLY STRAIGHT MAN IS ON THE TWO DOLLAR BILL. Inky: on the what now? Sera: anybody can be on the two dollar bill if you have a sharpie Cole: what's a man

Dorian: it’s those people you see refusing to ask for directions at gas stations even when they’re eight hours off track Sera: it’s bad

Sera and inky go thrifting. Dorian makes fun of them until they find a gucci handbag or some shit idk what rich people like. anyway he comes with them from then on

Leliana and Cullen are both polisci profs but Cullen is a conservative and Leliana is a commie

Cullen posts something misogynistic on his twitter and then posts about free speech. Sera glues his door shut.

Inky starts crying when Leliana mentions her wife in class

Bull is a senior a psychology major. He and Dorian hooked up in their first year and Dorian avoids him because he was too emotionally vulnerable.

Sera: what, was he mean? Dorian, with his head in his hands: its worse he was really nice

Vivienne and Cassandra are both catholics and they are religion professors, but Vivienne is way more liberal

Inky finds Cassandra lying facedown in the dirt during a crisis of faith

Inky is Jewish and Sera is too, but she was adopted by christians and she’s disconnected from it

Solas is a theoretical mathematics major and hes an edgy athiest libertarian

“it is not homophobic to say that homosexuality is not evolutionarily producti- *sera kicks him in the nuts*

Blackwall is seras weed dealer. If you ask him about his life he will tell you a different, contradictory story each time.

Josephine is theater ta and she’s a stage manager. One time she got so stressed about an upcoming production that Leliana took her to get some fuckin weed. Blackwall thought she was very pretty and he came to her show and gave her flowers.

Varric is a professor and he has phds in lit, chemistry, and women’s studies. His attendence sheet calls Inky “Inky” instead of her real name. He punched a cop once.

#aud.txt #dragon age #rhi #d slur #h slur

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ninjamonkeyqueen · 3 years

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Merry Fucking NOT

It is BEYOND frustrating that it CANNOT be conceived of that I do not celebrate this fucking holiday. No, I’m not joking. It absolutely IS assumed I do. Everywhere. By Everyone. Not once for the last 3 weeks have I been smalltalked about Hanukkah or Kwanza (prolly understandable at least, lily white that I am) or even the bloody fucking NEW YEAR. It’s all been "what are you doing for christmas? are you ready for christmas? what did you ask santa for?" etc etc. Every fucking person celebrates this. If you don’t, don’t worry, I’m not talking about you, because YOU DIDN’T MAKE THAT SMALL TALK. If you don’t celebrate… because you are not christian, because you have other reasons, whatever, you don’t fucking make weirdly invasive smalltalk about it. You just say "how are you today," or "have a nice day" or whatever. Only people who celebrate this, religiously or not, talk about it.

Literally the ONLY good thing about this mass-assumption is that I get a small spike of pleasure at the discomfort I cause if I say "oh, we don’t celebrate." Kinda warms the cockles, it does. You’ve spouted for a bit, you’re so sure you are in a space of solidarity, and then BAM! nope. There’s the confusion, as if you’re certain I could not have said what I did, what? Then there’s discomfort. Did you just stomp on my jewness* or something? Am I a *gasp* MUSLIM? oh no… did you offend me? Will I think you a bad person?****

I mean, "Athiest" will not at all occur to you, so whatever. I’m fine to let you think I’m literally anything other than christian, at this point. People get "freedom OF religion" relatively fine, overall… but "freedom FROM religion" is a tough concept for most people.

And to be fair, I still don’t have it. I’m quite aware that my atheism is christian based. I’m surrounded by christians. I grew up with that foisted on me. It is the culture I’m in. I know full well that atheism looks different in a different culture. Jewish atheism seems quite lovely, actually. In a culture without a religion that’d prolly be even awesomer. So I KNOW that my disbelief is rooted in christian monotheism, white supremacy, and european colonialism. For what it’s worth, there’s a very real possibility that’s WHY I don’t believe. The christian notions of the universe and life and all that are so fucking shitty I reject it all and it’s precisely BECAUSE they want me so fucking badly to accept it that I reject it. I know that’s a possibility. Don’t care, not the point. The point is that December is fucking hell.****** And I’m fucking sick of it.

And I’m really fucking sick of people thinking there’s a goddamn "war" on this fucking holiday when it is literally the only thing on nearly everyone’s mind for easily a tenth of the year, and has a huge impact on everyone’s lives, for good or for ill, whether they like it or not, want it or not. Can’t fill a prescription today. Can’t easily buy toilet paper today. Geeze, I’m gonna be pissed if I can’t get my traditional consolation prize of a good MSG-riddled Chinese dinner, but it’s always a concern. Always glad to live in a community with a significant Hindu/Jewish/Muslim presence. It’s the only way anything can be bearable.

And like, the thing is, I don’t have a problem with the concept of the winter festival. The general ideas pagans had of celebrating before the deep plunge into darkness. I understand that need, it’s very human. That it’s been coopted by a single religion isn’t fundamentally any single person’s fault. And if it WEREN’T EVERYWHERE, for a GODDAMN MONTH, and literally (here’s a phrase asshole christians like) SHOVED DOWN MY FUCKING THROAT, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. Have your festivals and celebrations. You deserve, as human beings, to have light and love in your life, especially in dark times. Really, you do. Everyone does.

But JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, please at least fucking realize that you are also, often, part of the problem. You don’t want to be, it’s all good fun and harmless, and of course you only want joy and peace and blah blah… but see… if this is not MY thing, I CANNOT get away from it. Can’t. Absolutely fucking CAN’T. And I have to sit there and deal with my kid having to put up with "what do you think Santa is bringing you?" and the like. And, most importantly, I’m not the only one. It is ubiquitous, but it is not universally celebrated, not even secularly.******

So if I’m fucking grumpy, deal with it? I mean, I deal with this crap for over a month, as does anyone who doesn’t celebrate, for whatever reason. And please understand that this overhyped over-commercialization of this season is THE REASON that there is so many problems with mental health this season. Socioeconomic differences are only heightened by this. It doesn’t just hurt those that aren’t affiliated. Like everything proper modern christian, it hurts its adherents just as much. That you think I’m being at all too much about this is Your Privilege showing. And don’t worry. I know you think I’m wrong and have feelings about it. That’s ok, I don’t fucking care.

So anyway… Merry Fucking Not The Birthday Of Your Savior

If you wanna pray for me, pray that China Wok is actually open today, because I DO NOT want to have to try new Chinese Joint *on* actual bloody xmas.*******

(*yes, that’s slurlike… yes, I mean it that way… because yes, I do think if you are the type that assumes everyone celebrates you are inherently a bit of a bigot and would likely think of it that way as opposed to something more "pc" like "jewishness" and YES that is disgenerous of me and YES I don’t give a flying fuck because I’ve had to listen to shitty fucking music in every retail establishment for a fucking month and you are gonna suffer for it. Do i mean it as an actual slur against Jewish people since I am not myself? nope, but fuck you if you aren’t getting my point and think so.)**

(**and no, if you’re the person who assumes everyone celebrates because everyone around you does while you don’t this is obviously not directed at you, because, again, you’re not running around foisting it on me, now are you, you’re just quietly assuming and mostly keeping your mouth shut.)***

(*** and no, this doesn’t pertain to retail workers who just automatically are wishing happyywhateverthefuckiscoming because that’s mandated and they’ll get shit if they don’t, and that’s not the point)

(****spoiler alert: kinda. but if you navigate forward correctly, that’ll be appeased by my pleasure at your discomfiture so we’re even, you’ve paid for it, carry on.)

(*****and yes, a fucking christian concept.)

(******which, frankly, that anyone thinks is an actual thing is fucking hilarious, but I digress)

(*******yes, while I don’t actually believe in magical thinking, I will totally use the rhetorical device of your belief in magical thinking to make sure I get me some good wokking bean curd.

#just… i fucking hate christmas so fucking much #and it gets worse every fucking year

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hunterinabrowncoat · 6 years

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We need to talk about religion in Star Trek

Or rather, the distinct lack of religion or religious characters in the Star Trek canon, and why I refuse to accept that singularly catastrophic aspect of Roddenberry’s creation.

Gene’s Roddenberry’s vision of a utopian future was only possible, in his mind, if we leave our more ugly practices behind - violence, racism, oppression, prejudice, capitalism. The problem with including religion in that list, is the inevitable implication that religion is inherently regressive, and humanity cannot reach a utopia without abandoning it.

I agree that religion must change if we ever hope to see the future Roddenberry dreamed of, but to suggest it has to be annihilated for humanity’s betterment is problematic to say the least. We can’t move on to our oppression-free socialist utopia as long as religion holds power over the state, but painting all religions with the same strokes as modern Christianity, not only fundamentally misunderstands the purpose of religion, it also groups together every religion under the banner of mainstream Christianity, which given that many other religions have been suppressed or even anihilated by Christianity, is more than a little problematic.

Roddenberry wasn’t subtle about his disdain for religion either; it isn’t just noticably absent from human characters in Star Trek, it’s openly spoken about as something regressive that Picard is ashamed of, like humanity’s violent past. Repeatedly he makes references to religion as primitive superstition, and as something unscientific that infers a lack of rationality or intelligence. When filming the new Star Trek: Discovery, Jason Isaacs was told after adlibing the line “Fire something, for god’s sake!” that there is no God in this future, so he can’t say that.

For starters, tradition is a huge part of many religions, and many begin traditions that move further away from their spiritual roots. See: Christmas. Most of what Western society enjoys at Christmas actually has nothing to do with its Christian take-over; the tree, the decorations, Santa Claus, presents, the food - all has nothing to do with Christianity or the celebration of Jesus’ birth. Yet even without the religious aspect, it’s still viewed as a Christian holiday. So would Christmas continue as a cultural tradition after religion has been abandoned? Or would all cultural traditions that are tied to religion also cease in this athiest future?

Secondly, it just doesn’t make sense. It’s hard to believe that capitalism will die and be replaced with a perfect socialist society in 200 years, but I can stretch my suspension of disbelief that far. It’s doable. I can hope. But religions have been around for literally thousands of years. Judaism is thought to be about 3500 years old, as is Hinduism; Christianity and Islam 2000 years, and Bhuddism 2500, but 200 more years and they all magically die out? I don’t buy it. And neither should you.

Because, thirdly, religion is not something we need to rid ourselves of in order to achieve a better society. Contrary to popular belief, religious people are no more likely to start wars, be violent, or less intelligent than non-religious people. And though many athiests and anti-thesists cling to the notion that religion is a belief in the supernatural that’s used to explain what we can’t understand, almost any other religious person, particularly the plethora of religious scientists that are out there, will tell you how ridiculous that is.

For me as a Christian, religion is an important aspect of my life that defines who I am, and I would not be who I am without it. But for many others it’s not just a personal thing, but an intrinsic part of their cultural identity or heritage, and you simply cannot seperate the two.

Worf (TNG) is allowed to wear his sash, and Nog (DS9) is allowed to wear his headdress, so evidently deviations from the standard Star Fleet uniform are allowed so that officers can adhere to cultural traditions and keep with their cultural heritage. Bajoran earrings however, which have religious significance, are not permitted (see both TNG and Voyager). Making this distinction, however, completely ignores the fact that oftentimes religion and culture cannot be seperated like that, and for many religions attempting to do so demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what that religions is.

Jewish people, and many Indiginous peoples alike, have survived thousands of years of attempted assimilation, and continuing their religious practices in the face of Western imperialism isn’t just a personal spiritual choice, it’s also an act of bold defiance, and a vital part of their collective cultural identity. So it’s not progressive to proclaim that humanity will move beyond the ~silly superstition~ of the past. Because religion isn’t just about about belief. It’s also about community. It’s about tradition. It’s about heritage. It’s about structure. It’s about striving for something more, trying to be better.

And it’s not going anywhere. Except to the stars... boldy.

#star trek #star trek tng #star trek ds9 #religion

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kiwiwatermelonsupreese · 7 years

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Snicketwatch Day 1: Thoughts on The Bad Beginning

Under the cut for spoilers

- The whole thing feels SUPER Pushing Daisies. Not just aesthetically, but also in the banter between characters. Especially the whole ‘hey what’s the thing Einstein said’, that feels a lot like Pushing Daisies dialogue to me.

- Violet’s inventions are so cool in this but like...you have to wonder why she felt the need to put a toaster in the clock. like wouldn’t the toast fall on the floor??

- I LOVE that they use the old-timey title cards and the iris in/out effect. It’s so kitschy and it really vibes with the look of the show. really the way this is edited as a whole is very retro. it feels like an old disney film, or maybe like La La Land with 900 times more irony.

- MR POE’S EMO SON !!! HE’S EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED !! and when he asks Violet if they burned the house down oh my god...the bit about one of them going on to live in a cave made me laugh really hard.

- I KNEW THAT BLUE BIRD WAS GONNA GET FUCKIGN WRECKED...but I didn’t expect it to get swooped by a crow. I honestly was expecting the power lines. I jumped.

- Count Olaf is just...everything I wanted him to be. he’s legitmately revolting and horrible but JUST entertaining enough that I don’t want to fast forward through every scene he’s in (which has happened to me with other villains on other shows) It’s really a testament to NPH’s ability as an actor that I was alternately cackling and recoiling in horror at everything he did.

- I’m assuming that this is because of some law regarding portraying substance abuse in family shows, but I feel like they’ve replaced Olaf’s constant obvious day drinking with him stealing people’s food. like they imply he’s an alcoholic, but I guess they can’t show him actually drinking excessively, so instead they have him eat a whole lamb leg in 5 minutes. I’m not complaining, because I think it fits his character, but it’s still weird. like I always associate eating a lot with getting stoned.

- I didn’t think this show could come up with a line that topped the iconic ‘I am an Italian man’. That was before I knew about ‘Yessica Haircut’.

- I actually really like Jaquelyn?? I'm always skeptical of new characters introduced into existing franchises but thankfully Jaquelyn’s subplot adds to the story rather than overshadowing it.

- also I’m getting used to Tara Strong dubbing Sunny. I see the benefits of doing so from an efficiency standpoint (you can’t really get a baby to do anything) but it’s still kinda skeevy

- Justice Strauss is so tragic in this show!! I felt so much more for her in the series than I ever did in the movie. maybe it’s just because I adore Joan Cusack.

- Olaf’s song made me cringe so hard I had to mute it the second time I watched that episode.

- THE NAMES IN THE TUNNEL !!! I YELLED

- All of the Jewish references are exactly what I meant when I said I wanted the show to have some cultural flair. but it’s really icky that olaf comes off more jewish than the rest of them.

-Olaf’s preparations for the marriage made me really uncomfortable. he just got way too into it...like way too into it. I legitimately shrieked out loud when he said ‘I can touch whatever I want’ mercifully they left out 'my bride and i are off to go enjoy our honeymoon’ but even without it....Neil as Olaf is a huge disgusting pedo.

- Fernald is a fuckign gift as usual. ‘say your prayers, or don’t, if you’re athiests’ that’s m boy. also I like that they include his affinity for card games this early on in the series. but I’m still mad that they didn’t get a real double amputee to play him because hOLY SHIT those prosthetic arms look SO FAKE on him???

- I miss the marvelous marriage from the film deleted scenes....it was a better piece of theatre.

- ‘I AM LEAPING IN THE AIR PHYSICALLY BECAUSE OF HOW HAPPY I AM’ fucken champion

- they kept the ‘flips the lights off and runs away’ thing god bless

- I’m slowly warming up to the idea of Beatrice and Bertrand being alive but I’m not commiting because Lemony Snicket could very easily kill them off for real or have them turn out to be total randos, because he’s the troll lord.

#a series of unfortunate events #asoue spoilers #asoue netflix

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automatismoateo · 3 years

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I think I'm on the fence of becoming athiest. I am shook. via /r/atheism

Submitted June 15, 2021 at 05:49AM by melanyebaggins (Via reddit https://ift.tt/3wpl47e) I think I'm on the fence of becoming athiest. I am shook.

I grew up religious. I was spoon fed the Bible since birth. My first outing as a baby was to church. I even taught others Christianity when I was a counsellor at a Christian summer camp for a few summers as an older teen.

Then I moved out of my parents house in my early twenties. I met other people, read about other religions. Learned enough that I no longer believed Jesus was god, if he even was a real person at all. I still believed in god though, that was an unshakable part of who I was (despite the fact that at puberty I started having feelings for girls and boys, which the church told me was an abomination, so I suppressed it to the point where I'd convinced myself I was straight for the next two decades, even though I'd occasionally get really obsessed with some attractive female actors.)

I started learning about Judaism, because while Jesus wasn't real anymore, god still was, so I'd go back to the original source...the Torah. I learned with the Jewish community for a few years, and finally converted Orthodox. And I lived an Orthodox life for fifteen years, until the rules that used to give me stability and comfort became suffocating. I had moved back home when I converted (the parents converted too. I often wonder if I would have done it if they hadn't.) Again, I moved out on my own, to the other end of the city, and after time away from them, my religious practice started to gradually relax, until I was no longer practicing at all and instead living the life I wanted. But I still believed in god, because that was always part of who I was.

I turn forty tomorrow. I've recently been learning other perspectives on the Bible. The cycle is beginning again, only this time instead of proving that Jesus doesn't exist, now god is on the table. Things I've always took as irrefutable fact since I was a child are now being disproven one by one with history and archaeology and science. I believe in those things as much as I - used to - believe in god. But now...I can't ignore what I've learned. I feel like I'm slowly waking up from a dream and I don't know where I am or what day it is. I've also recently wrestled with and accepted my bisexuality, and that was incredibly freeing. And I think that is also part of what sparked this introspection about faith. Because according to god, who I am (who I've always been) is fundamentally wrong. I can no longer handwave that away. Nor can I ignore the evidence that key points in the bible I used to believe without question have no basis in historical or scientific fact.

I think ..it's time to let go of childish things.

#reddit

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joyceeeeeh-blog1 · 4 years

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This article shows that about half of Americans believe that the bible should influence U.S. laws. Among those surveyed, the groups that disagreed with that statement the most were: Non-religious people (Athiest, Agnostic, Unaffiliated), Democrats, Jewish, and people aged 18-29. The groups who most agreed with that statement were Christians, Protestants, Republicans, and both seniors aged 50-64 and 65+. People who agreed that the bible should influence American laws were asked a follow up question: “When the Bible and the will of the people conflict, which should have more influence on U.S. laws?”. The most common response to this question was that the Bible should take precedence over the will of the people.

This survey absolutely blows my mind. I honestly cannot believe that half this country believes the Bible should have any say in American politics. America was built on the foundations of religious freedom, escaping the English Catholic Church, and constantly preaches separation of church and state. If you were to ask me how many people would have agreed with this statement, I would have guessed a much smaller percentage, probably closer to 25-33%. However, that’s probably due to the fact that I live in a very liberal area with progressive values and surround myself with such people.

I believe there can be a lot of correlation between the survey groups. For example, as we learned in class, my own generation tends to be less religious and unaffiliated groups are growing with each new generation. Young people and Jewish people tend to be more progressive and tend to be Democratic which explains why these are all the highest survey group against mixing the Bible with U.S. laws. On the flip side, you can see the correlations between the group for the Bible’s influence, as older generations tend to lean right, be more conservative, and tend to be more religious.

I truly believe that American politics should be separate from religion. I believe religion is such a deep, personal experience that should not be forced upon one another. By molding American laws with the Bible, you are forcing those religious beliefs on people who do not share them. Personally, I am atheist/spiritual and believe in a higher power but I absolutely do not believe in the Christian God. I also love America and want it to be a country where my political rights are not dictated by a God I do not believe in.

Another story I’d like to share is about my religious mother. My mom, a Korean immigrant, has been extremely religious her entire life. A big part of her raising me was spent trying to convert me to Christianity. Her religious fervor has only pushed me further and further away from religion, slowly distancing me away with every rant about how my soul will burn in hell for eternity unless I accept Jesus Christ into my life. Obviously, this is far from what she wanted to happen, and I can’t help but wonder if she had only raised me with less pressure to accept Christianity then maybe I would have chosen that route for myself organically. This is the advice to the American people: The more you shove religion down other people’s throats, the further you drive them away from religion. If you truly believe the Bible to be true, lead by example, live a good and virtuous life, and let others organically join you in your religion.

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breezybadaboom · 6 years

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I might not be Circe...

For the scavenger hunt ive got it in the works and its gonna basically help to wake a lot of you up who want to embark on it this summer and the point of the scavenger hunt is to make all you celebrities smarter, better, faster, stronger, and it is a competition. For every item on the list you need to take a picture, video, or have some sort of evidence to document it and at the end of the summer (halloween before I try resurrecting the king again (yeah his body is in basset pond and I visit it often. Im not even kidding I went swimming in the swamp and found it; apparently there are a few there. I can’t resurrect him though without your help. But yeah for the scavenger hunt I am going to have a competition for you all to embark on for every item in the list the person who documented it best wins a prize (um please help me come up with good prizes that’ll make it worth it:) Maybe we can arrange a ceremony like the grammies, or whatever those are called I don’t know, Im not all Hollywood savvy like some of you.

I wanted to give you all one to practice some of the skills that I learned because you’re gonna need a big mental challenge to be happy. True fact; true life. I’d like to be a role model for you all but it seems a lot of you have fallen under the false conclusion that I am vain. No; I am just as normal as you. I got lucky to be in my position; to have the resources that I have access to and the fact of the matter is that we are all on this journey called life and it seems that the point of life is to achieve perfection. We can do this through prayer. Even though I follow the Christian relilgious doctrine in a lot of my conversations I am NOT CHRISTIAN, yet I am FAITHFUL TO JESUS CHRIST, and I am henceforth NEVER CHRISTIAN because I am COEXIST and I say that loud and clear to jihadi armani people who are 100% welcome in my heaven. I say this in support of the Jihadi refugees who have been needing help desperately.

One key goal of the scavenger hunt is for you guys to choose to look towards the light, and ask yourself “If God is real and He is good and loves me, and wants what I want for myself, and to love all His children equally then what would He be trying to convey to me in this symbol?

I know you will all percieve wisdom and enlightenment beyond your dreams. We have to take an imaginary journey through the land of Christianity first as we start the scavenger hunt and pretend we are Christian. Then we turn around and abolish the chain of slavery which Christianity has put upon our earth cursing us to be anywhere which isn’t heaven. We all belong in heaven with God the father, and His two sons, who sit beside his right arm in the throne room as a Jihadi and a Christian. There is no man who is God; God is simply pure protection. No body is God, but someday we will be able to have a place we call home where we are seated in heaven (or adventuring, hiking, playing around in the child-proofed version of flipside, living like heaven is a place on earth and adventuring the giant vast of space which we call heaven which is as Chrisian doctrine describes it at various points of it (my favorite version is Kat Kerrs version). One prophet I really love who has proved true to me is Katie Souza, but we are going to amp it up a notch in the spiritual realm and be doing what Katie describes as ascending the supernatural. I really love her you guys she is a genius.

Please keep in mind what you see in spirit is completely controlled by words so you must never trust your visions as direct signs from God. You must use logic and reasoning to tell whether or not the message is a message from the actual God, who is the essence of perfection in every way and who is literally seated in heaven in the throne room where you can be and always feel like you are home, and once we turn earth into heaven we can literally... well, lets just say pretending you are Cristian for a while is worth it when you get to meet the God which Christian doctirne has created with the help of everybody else; the agnostic, the athiest, jihadi, and yes the Jewish, and all other religion-type entities like the buddhists and all which applies to the final title of this new wave of religion which they call COEXIST.

I can’t meet any of you until after you’ve participated in the hunt (who knows; perhaps this scavenger hunt will be delayed 100 years and I’ll be Lucifer by then (totally getting a sex change in like 100 years if Im still alive because by then I think being a girl will have gotten boring.

#coexist #jesus #hitchiker's guide to the galaxy #christian faith #hope

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ihearducksaregoingquackers · 6 years

Text

Sorry for long post, but anything you can say will help. Deeply personal.

Tumblr is a super weird experience for me, with just who and what I am. To kind of put a million labels on me at once (the labels that I know of), I am a seemingly-but-not-always white-passing light-skinned Egyptian Muslim capable of growing an afro who is heteroromantic, bi-curious, demisexual-ish (I can be sexually attracted to anyone, but I’d almost never take clothes off unless it was with someone I was in love with), cisgendered male, was essentially raised on Western (mostly American, some British) media influence with English as a first language and hardly able to speak Arabic despite it being my native language, legally an American citizen, with diagnoses of depression, anxiety and ADHD, with an education background of partially physics, animation and partially game design at a university level (the partialies are due to dropping out because of depression). Also, I was ‘a gifted child’, aka I was naturally adept at science and math, and dropped the humanities like a hot rock as soon as I could.

And that’s what I can think of off the top of my head.

(The rest is put under ‘keep reading’ because the post is super long. If you have the time or energy to read this and just say anything to help, I’d super appreciate it. If not, I appreciate you reading this far. If you didn’t read this far, I still appreciate you following me anyway, because it helps make it feel like tumblr is worth doing, even though audience isn’t the reason why I use tumblr in the first place.)

This, of course, not only leads to huge amounts of internal anxiety with regards to “who or what the fuck am I”, being Egyptian and Muslim but having been raised and immersed in Western and Christian or Athiest media. But following the diverse blogs of Tumblr makes it even more confusing. Specifically black tumblr, not because there’s anything wrong with black tumblr, but black tumblr has made me ask myself questions that I never would have thought to ask myself. But all sorts of tumblr (especially social justice tumblr or educational discourse tumblr talking about geography or history) have had this effect on me too.

Like, what does it mean to be African? Am I African? I actually had to go up to my mom and ask that question, because it bugged me so much and I just didn’t have the answer, and there’s an apparent distinction between Africa and North Africa, where Egypt is in North Africa. But also, I can grow an afro. When I was still in the states and working as a cashier at a dry cleaning place, I actually asked a couple of black co-workers if they thought I could grow an afro. When they responded with “yeah, I could see a Jew-fro”, I had to show them this video of me getting the largest afro I’d grown shaved. They were surprised, to say the least (and it was totally worth the look on their faces). But like, black tumblr has a habit of calling curly hair ‘black hair’ and I somehow feel like I can’t own my hair? But I’m technically African, but does that allow me the same courtesy?

And, like, obviously I don’t want to be That Asshole™, cultural appropriation is such a huge thing and I don’t want to promote it in any way, shape or form. But I have curly hair, I can naturally grow an afro, been able to do it my whole life, how do I embrace that without accidentally promoting cultural appropriation? If the answer seems obvious, there’s the ‘sometimes-but-not-always white-passing’ thing which I go into detail later on. I also know that black tumblr isn’t intentionally looking at my obscure, one off tumblr that has 57 followers and saying “let’s make this ONE individual paranoid about what he can or can’t do or say about his hair”. I’m not egotistical or narcissistic enough to think my opinion matters that much to an entire tumblr culture for them to try and send me a message, but I feel that there’s enough of a message for me to at least be concerned about what my actions might unintentionally say.

It also doesn’t help that my family hasn’t really learned about taking care of afros since I was kind of a pariah in wanting an afro and my family insists I look better without one and that what little I’ve learned about taking care of afros I’ve learned from black tumblr. Also, depression makes it hard to get out of bed or even take a shower, so taking care of my afro is kind of out of the question at the moment.

There’s also another awkward one of “How Arab am I?” That question is multi-layered, partially due to my westernization through the media I consumed, my faulty ability with the Arabic language, the fact that I’ve had too many Egyptians in Egypt ask me where I’m from (I’ve answered with ‘Egyptian but raised in America’ which gets people to not ask more questions).

And then there’s also the part of what does it mean to be Egyptian as well. Like, specifically Egyptian. Should I be proud of my ancestors? Is that even *my* legacy? Or has my legacy been so muddied by the multiple empires that have conquered Egypt that I can’t lay any claim to it? My family trees can also be traced back to Tunisia (Carthage specifically), Morocco and Lebanon (I’m quarter Lebanese so that’s sorta the easiest to trace), but that’s only looking at two straight lines and an obvious link and almost none of the other branches of my family tree are really explored. Like, my family almost entirely hails from Alexandria, I have great grandparents that fought in World War 2 for Egypt and that’s quite a few generations of living in Egypt, so potentially one of my ancestors was Ancient Egyptian, right?

But THEN there’s also the legacy of Egyptians, the muddied part I mentioned because, at one point, Coptic Christians were the dominant population before Islam became a thing, and then Egypt became part of the Islamic Empire, which resulted in 80% of the current Egyptian population being Muslim now. But also, Ancient Egypt was a thing. And Ancient Egypt traded with Ancient Greece and that’s it’s own bag which I don’t even have all the information on that. Let’s also not forget the Jewish Egyptians that exist in the world. Or the fact that Jews had to run away from Egypt (God, that one Hannukah I attended with my ex-girlfriend was awkward).

There’s also the whole fetishization of Ancient Egypt by essentially everyone, but also holy shit Ancient Egypt was so advanced for its time too, which no wonder why people are obsessed with it, but then it kinda gets weird and it’s super complicated to get into right now. There’s also debate about the skin colour of Ancient Egyptians too, and like, if it’s discovered that they were dark-skinned, do I have no right and no claim to my ancestry?

And THEN there’s what it means to be Muslim, and how some of what I’ve been told clashes heavily with liberal western political ideals (imagine my ass being conservative, HA!). That also clashes with my status as bi-curious, which used to be bisexual (still heteroromantic) but now, isn’t? I don't know, I’m still very much in this “I have no idea what my sexuality is” stage. Being bullied from an early age and learning to take ‘gay’ as an insult has superbly affected my ability to even consider being called gay. I get REELED at the idea of being called gay or kissing another man, but there’s that bi-curious thing due to some events that will not be described (no abuse, I promise). There’s just so much shit that clashes from these different things. And I don’t even know how to fit the pieces together even remotely.

The ‘seemingly obvious answer’ of ‘you can be all of that’ doesn’t apply when you hear shit like the Egyptian government tracking down gay people through gay dating apps and are actively living in Egypt. I’m not even LOOKING for that kind of thing with another man, and it’s not even a potential future thing in my mind either, since, you know, demisexual-ish. But there’s still that occasional attraction? It’s weird. Just, being me with regards to these things is weird and I can’t fit the pieces together, not on my own. And, also, I always have to ask the question: with being so marginally LGBT, do I even have the right to consider myself as part of the LGBT+ community? With all the stuff that the LGBT+ community go through, how could I, as a heteroromantic bi-curious demisexual, even CONSIDER being a part of the LGBT+ community? It’s such this deep question, and I only have the label of bi-curious because I don’t even know anything that more accurately describes what’s happening in my head, you know?

Don’t even get me started on Arab mentality of mental health issues, which further complicates things with my liberal western ideals. Just don’t.

There’s also that fun time my sister accused me of being ‘too westernized’.

God, and then, just, I look at Egypt and I can’t find much to be proud of my people? There’s stuff that is improving, no doubt, but it’s so slow and gradual that it might take a few lifetimes in order for things to even measure up to something I’d consider good standards. But again, are these the ideals of an Egyptian who wants the best for his country, or a foreigner who can only see through the lens of his own privilege? The number of times people have said that “[I am] not Egyptian” because I don’t like a certain Egyptian dish or don’t say a certain thing or whatever other standards I have is absolutely infuriating.

I wish I was one of those people who didn’t need labels to identify themselves. I wish I could just say “I am who I am, that’s okay with me”. But I can’t, I’m just not that kind of person. I’ve had the label of ADHD from when I was first diagnosed as a child, and also Egyptian too. Also, being ‘so smart’ as a kid, ‘so obedient’, ‘quiet’ etc. as a child. But I was bullied too, I had two or three friends for my youngest years that I remember (I remember nothing from before age 8 aside from literally three memories), and what I can now put a name to, dangerously severe depression. I survived, which is really all that matters, but I only have vague memories of being a child and a teen.

Anyway, let’s ignore that tangent and get back on track with the labels. Sometimes-but-not-always white-passing. Having lived in the states and being able to experience the looks that some people give me, whether I’m white-passing or not depends entirely on the person who sees me. My name isn’t ‘obviously Arab’, so people kind of have to guess where I come from. I’ve been mistaken for white for sure, but I’ve also had an older black woman tell me “shalom” as she was getting off the bus “because of the nose” with a hand motion, thinking I was Jewish. Then there was the elderly white psychiatrist, lemme just set the stage.

I walk into an INTAKE with this elderly white psychiatrist, not even a session, this is purely an assessment part. He asks questions, gets my name, gets my original nationality, age, guesses correctly that I’m Muslim. He asks if I drink, I told him no, because I haven’t. His IMMEDIATE response: “Oh, that’s good, because if you did, they’d have to take you out back and shoot you in the back of the head.”

I got so scared, I forced myself to see him for three sessions because I had to make sure that he wouldn’t think the reason why I didn’t go to my first appointment was because of his racist ass. Then every time I went to that clinic, I was scared out of my mind that he’d accuse me of not seeing him because of that (my Philipino therapist, who I’d been seeing for weeks before that, was in that clinic so I couldn’t just up and leave, also she was really good and I needed that stability). You could also bet your ass I didn’t report it to management because, again, I was so scared I was gonna be shot by some white dude with a gun if any of that came to light. After that, the anxiety was too much for me to bear and I went to see another psychiatrist. This was in Maryland, 45 minutes away from DC, and since I don't know anything about gun laws in those states, I have no guess about what might happen.

I didn’t exactly hide the fact that I was Egyptian from the people I became friends with, but still, I feel like I should have assessed what to say first. The question always came up “where are you from” and I’d be forced to answer “Egypt” since any other answer is kind of dishonest.

There’s just a lot on my mind. What does it mean to be me? What does it mean to have all these different backgrounds? Who and what am I? Having lots of time on my hands because my depression has essentially made me bedridden does not help in the slightest because I have no way of finding out those answers. And being bedridden doesn’t mean ‘I have time to think’, because I’m too busy actually dealing with my depression (and, some days, surviving my depression) to be philosophical in any way, shape, or form.

This is kinda selfish of me to do, but I'm queueing this because I desperately want people to see this and just, help, in some way. I might even reblog it and schedule it at another time because holy cow I need some advice.

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