#if i didnt have so many responsibilities id just. ghost them all i think

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #dp thoughts

[si-nging-ren]

*CRACKS KNUCKLES*

okay. ive decided im going to discontinue the jirou x reader fanfic "wrong number, my bad" for a number of reasons that i will get into in a bit. i have also, however, decided to create an smau for hawks (probably not, but who ive decided on for now) x reader, based on something more personal about me. the goal of the story being more personal is to give me a better layout for how it should continue on and the feelings can be more genuine than me making up stories on a whim and hoping they work. i will give out the plan for wnmb, however, so that anybody interested can still understand how the story wouldve ended.

now as for why im abandoning wnmb.

1. i dont feel the energy to write it anymore. i dont like where the story is going, and with my current mental state and status at school, i dont have the ability to start over or try again. i font have the ideas for the story and just dont vibe with it.

2. mental reasons. i can't stick to the schedule i made for the story as well as i used to be able to, and also personal mental health reasons that sort of keep me from doing so.

3. there are personal life reasons that cause this, but jirou has slowly evolved into somewhat of a discomfort character. i dont want to get into the reasons as to why, but i dont like her that much and bad memories come up whenever i try to sit with her in my head for too long.

thats really all for why i dont want to continue wnmb, but for anybody interested, here was the plan as to how the story was planned out (via notes):

- [x] yn and mina and ochaco do be talking doe

- [x] basically introductions

- [x] same with jirou baku toko yaomomo and denks

- [x] but THEN

- [x] yn and jirou talk :DDD

- [x] jirou basically says that theyre not annoying

- [x] yn says their typical clown shit

- [x] "aidjskjdh thanks you daddy 🥺"

- [x] jirou doesnt answer for a wholeass hour

- [x] "sorry had to go to church and clense from that sin"

- [x] "o-oh okay 😔 daddy doesnt love me"

- [x] "there are so many things wrong with that"

- [x] "😳😳😳"

- [x] "im starting to wish that i blocked you"

- [x] "nONONONONO IM SORRY"

- [x] "nyways what did you wanna talk about d-"

- [x] "......."

- [x] "arling :)))"

- [x] poor jirou just wanted to know about who they are

- [x] "name, hobby, talent, interests, whatever i just wanna know about you"

- [x] yn hops over to twitter all "omg theyre so sweet 🥺🥺🥺"

- [x] naturally ochaco and mina are all "fake bestie wtf are u talking about"

- [x] yn is laughing awkwardly and is just,,, "oh nothing 😳😳"

- [x] (nobody believes them)

- [x] then they ask about jirou but she has to give false info

- [x] except for her gender its fine if she says that

- [x] she hops over to the squad

- [x] panicking

- [x] "guys wtf i think i just committed a crime"

- [x] "nono youre fine what happened"

- [x] "i made a fake identity so the person who contacted me wouldnt know it was me"

- [x] "do they even know you???"

- [x] "YES they said they really liked our music and im PANICKING"

- [x] "okok calm down its not illegal or anything"

- [x] "i think"

- [x] "YOU T H I N K ? "

- [x] "yeah sorry :// but like you did this to yourself lmaooo"

- [x] jirou awkwardly hops back to yn

- [x] "yeah i think that band is pretty cool too im actually friends with some of them"

- [x] i mean its not false

- [x] ":ooo omg rlly?????? theyre so cool aaa 🥺🥺 maybe we can meet one day at one of their concerts 👉👈 jkjk...... unless 😳"

- [x] little did they know

- [x] LMAOO jk

- [x] kinda

- [ ] they end up talking for hoursss and mina and ochaco ask one day if they wanna hang out

- [ ] theyre all "hell yesss 🥴 where we goin??"

- [ ] a bar. they go to a fucking bar. (btw its to celebrate minas new job thingyyy)

- [ ] drink responsible kiddosss

- [ ] nyways afterwards she ends up talking to jirou bout how shes super nice and would love to be friends with her more

- [ ] jirou has gay panic tm

- [ ] like actually theyre rlly cute fuck

- [ ] yn asks if they can call since theyve never heard her voice or seen her

- [ ] jirous all ".....theyre drunk they wont recognize my voice"

- [ ] also shes rlly groggy since its TWO IN THE DAMN MORNING

- [ ] jirou calls her and yn asks if she wants to meet someday bby doesnt understand okay

- [ ] jirou panics and asks if they can get to know each other more first

- [ ] yn is hurt but understands and agrees

- [ ] yn asks to play 20 questions

- [ ] jirou asks if theyre a preteen jokingly

- [ ] yn whines and says its either that or a drinking game

- [ ] not wanting yn to drink anymore, she sighs and agrees

- [ ] she ends up finding out:

1. yn has a cat

2.

3. thats it, yn passed out

- [ ] jirou fell asleep on call later nd they didnt hang up until jirou woke up later and realized that awake yn would recognize her

- [ ] she quickly hung up and then sent them a good morning text

- [ ] bitches be playin

- [ ] but yn doesnt mind theyre a gay, dumb clown

- [ ] yn asks what minas job was since they never found out- god their dumb

- [ ] mina says its the typical teaching thing but its for ome of yns favorite bands

- [ ] "ooh, who are they?"

- [ ] "they said their name was blackbear! pretty sure youve talked about them some times before"

- [ ] "omygod mina you dont understnad if you could somehow find a way for me to find them i would literally marry u"

- [ ] "please dont. but ill try boo dw"

- [ ] she ends up doing it

- [ ] but inbetween then they end up getting rlly close like numerous calls and texts and learning more about each other until they realize they like her

- [ ] yn is super happy all "bro u guys are so awesome"

- [ ] bby girl is vibrating.

- [ ] LMAOO YOU WANNA KNOW JOWNTHEY FIND OUT

- [ ] THEY AND JIROU END UP BECOMING RLLY CLOSE LIKE THEY FRIENDSSSS

- [ ] AND SHE ASKS FOR THEIR NUMBER

- [ ] THEIR STILL JITTERY BTW SO THEYRE LIKE WOAH RLLY???? ID LOVE TO BRO

- [ ] AND JIROU PUTS HER NUMBER IN YNS PHONE AND SEES THE NAME "nd strikes" COME UP ND SHES LIKE "HUH MUST BE A GLITCH"

- [ ] BUT YNS ALL

- [ ] "HAHA SOMEONE NAMED "BBY" CAME UP WHEN I TYPED IN MY NUMBER I WONDER WHO THAT IS"

- [ ] "MAYBE I TYPED IT WRONG" CAUSE BBY IS DUMB

- [ ] MEANWHILE JIROU IS PANICKED CAUSE "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE BBY"

- [ ] SO SHE HANDS THEM THIER PHONE BACK AWKWARDLY AND YN SEES THEIR OLD MESSAGES AND PANICKS

- [ ] "HOLD UP IS STARS JIROU????? HAHHA NO IM BLIND AN D DUMB SURELY NOT"

- [ ] SO THEYRE LIKE "DID U EVER TELL ANYONE UR NAME IS STARS"

- [ ] AND JIROU JUST SIGHS AND IS CLEARLY IN PAIN AND IS JUST "YEAH THATS ME"

- [ ] ALL YN DOES IS LAUGH AND GO "YO THATS KINDA GAY"

- [ ] JIROU IS PAINED

- [ ] LIKE SHE THINKS THEIR GONNA HATE HER BUT????? NO??????????? SHES CONFUSED LMAOO

- [ ] yn blinks and realizes she should probably confess or smth

- [ ] "uhm, jirou?"

- [ ] "yeah whats up?"

- [ ] "aCTUALLY NVM ILL TELL YOU LATER-"

- [ ] later in a call they say it

- [ ] jirou is rlly smart and all but her first thought was "its cause of who i am. this happened immediately after."

- [ ] some part of her is screaming that its feelings and that she likes them back but she ignores it.

- [ ] like this has to be bad right???

- [ ] nyways jirou ghosts her like a clown and rants to the band b-wordssss gc

- [ ] yn cries to the babiest of the babies 🥺🥺🥺 gc

- [ ] yn asks if she just doesnt care about them now that shes seen them

- [ ] jirou realizes "wait fuck maybe im wrong"

- [ ] spoiler alert: she is

- [ ] she sort of goes "i didnt rlly think that you actually liked me actually

- [ ] yn starts crying

- [ ] (this is over call btw)

- [ ] "why tf wouldnt i?!"

- [ ] "bc you confessed right after you knew who i was"

- [ ] "istfg so our conversations just dont matter ig"

- [ ] jirou is confused

- [ ] like??? she gets that theyre mad but she does understand why so much

- [ ] "listen i just need to know if you like me back or not please. before i start crying again."

- [ ] she decided to not comment on how they were already crying

- [ ] "yes i like you okay"

- [ ] "do you actually?"

- [ ] "yes. istag that i actually like you and im not shitting u. if you want ill go there rn"

- [ ] ".....yes pls"

- [ ] "i need your address though"

- [ ] "oh yeah– its *address*"

- [ ] jirou arrives all nervous and shit

i didn't have anything planned out after that, but it was probably gonna be a kiss scene or something idk

#jirou x reader #wnmb #wrong number my bad #jirou kyouka #kyouka x reader #writers

[irwinkitten]

i know you know | c.h

pairing: reader x calum prompts: “That is the dumbest thing you have ever said.”, “You’re so cute when  you’re drunk.” and “You drove all the way here just to bring me soup?” notes: we are on day 2 of the birthday countdown of fic week! i’ve honestly been having so much fun writing these. this one is just sweet sweet fluff that will rot your teeth. Small masterlist of the fic week can be found here. warnings: none word count: 1.7k!

---

You knew that Calum wouldn’t be mad at you. It was a rare time in LA when the temperature had dropped enough to be considered cold and it was your bad luck that you got sick.

You knew he’d planned something special but with every part of your body hurting, you knew you wouldn’t be able to make it off your bed, let alone out of your house.

‘I know you had something planned but I can’t move without hurting. Sorry :(‘

Your eyes had tiredly watched the grey bubble appear, focusing on the movement. You didn’t even notice your eyes were slipping closed.

Your phone dropped to the mattress just as Calum’s reply came through, a soft snore escaping your lips as his text lit up the screen.

‘I’ll drop by after practice and look after you. That way you might actually eat something.’

When Calum had finished up at practise for the day and shown up at yours, he let himself in with the key you’d given him six months after you’d gotten together. He’d done the same a month later, gifting you with a key to his place.

As he manoeuvred through your place, he dropped the carrier bag containing the various soups he’d picked up for you, leaving them on the side for the moment before he continued his search for you.

Cracking open your bedroom door, his heart melted at the sight of you curled on your side, your phone in the empty space where he’d usually be. Moving slowly and carefully, he moved your phone from the bed before sinking down into it, feeling amusement flood him as you turned towards him, your arms seemingly searching for him.

“Hey princess.” He murmured when your arm had wrapped around his waist. It took you a solid moment to realise that Calum was actually sat there.

“What’re you doin’ here?” Your words were half slurred, exhaustion evident as you pressed yourself into his side. He smiled.

“You’re so cute when you’re drunk.” He teased as you fought to keep your eyes open. You groaned at him as your face buried into the pillow, making him chuckle.

“M’not drunk, asshole. M’sick.” You grumbled softly and he let his fingers trace against your cheek slowly, his eyes crinkled in amusement. “Why’re you here? Don’t want you gettin’ sick.” Despite your words, you leaned into his touch.

It was always like this with him, unable to resist the smaller touches the two of you shared. It was a side that he showed only for you, and it was a side of him that you cherished. Many of your favourite nights had been just lay together, hands skimming over the other as you watched a sitcom or had soft music playing as you quietly talked about your days.

“My favourite girl is sick. The guys can survive without me for a few days.” He whispered, lips lips pressing against your forehead.

“You’re gonna get sick.” You groaned and he snorted before shaking his head.

“Even if I do, it just means we can be sick together.” His words made you blink for a second, trying to process what he actually said. He raised an eyebrow at you before you lifted your hand, placing the back of it against his forehead, before moving to his cheeks.

He laughed before his arms circled around you, pulling you closer to him and you groaned in protest.

“That is the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, Hood. I thought I’d gotten delirious from fever for a second because it sounded like you’re trying to get sick just for an excuse to stay with me.”

Calum grinned as he pressed a soft kiss to your temple and you tried to pull away, determined to not get him sick.

“C’mon princess, is it not the best idea in the world? It means we can both cuddle together, although I’m going to cuddle you regardless.” His grip tightened around you and you knew in that moment that any argument you had was lost.

Especially when he pushed his lips out into a pout and you whined in return.

“You can’t do that to me Hood. You know I’m a weak ass bitch for that pout.” You muttered and you could see that he was fighting the smile, his lips twitching before he gave in, a laugh escaping his lips seconds later.

“It’s only fair, considering I can never say no to you, love.” He murmured. This time, you didn’t fight him as his lips met the skin of your forehead and you sighed in response.

“Get out of those jeans, no, nothing like that.” You added on hastily at the smirk that rapidly spread across his lips. “You’re in skinny jeans, dumbass. If you want to snuggle, get changed into something comfy and I might consider cuddling.”

Calum finally let go of you, pushing himself off the bed before rummaging through the drawer of stuff he left at yours. Whilst he was getting changed, you half dragged yourself from bed, your body protesting the movement as you shuffled through to the kitchen.

Getting yourself a glass of water, leaning against the counter as you tried to gain your breath, you felt somewhat ridiculous.

You could feel the few beads of sweat and you felt like you’d run a mile. Your body was protesting, your joints aching as you downed half the glass. You suddenly realised why Calum had been so insistent on staying with you and when he appeared at the kitchen doorway, with a raised eyebrow and his arms crossed over his chest, you could only give him a sheepish smile in response.

“I was thirsty?” You tried, your tone quiet. The unimpressed looked you received in return had you glancing down at your feet.

A sigh followed before fingers were tucked under your chin, tilting your head up. Your eyes met his and he gave you the briefest of smiles.

“Let me look after you, princess. You’re not well. I already warned the guys after I got your text, so they know I’m skipping out on practice for the rest of the week. If I get sick because I’m looking after you, then it just means more days in bed with you.” He murmured and you sighed, your body relaxing into his.

“Sorry, I just feel bad that you’re looking after me.”

“Does it look like I’m not okay with it? Princess, I’m wounded you’d even think that. I even brought you soup.” He teased playfully. “I’m fine with looking after you and it means more time with you. Who wouldn’t say no to that?” Calum hummed quietly and your eyebrows rose up slightly in amusement.

“So you drove all the way here just to bring me soup?” He groaned, resting his forehead against yours.

“You’re impossible. Here I am, trying to tell you that I want to look after you and all you can pick up on is that I brought soup over. Is there a receipt around somewhere so I can take you back to the store?” You giggled, your hands resting on his chest as you tilted your head a small fraction, your lips meeting his. It was a short, sweet kiss, causing his lips to break out into a shy smile and his arms moved so that they were wrapped around you, pulling your body flush against his.

“I love you so much, you know that right?” He murmured. Your heart skipped a beat every time he told you. Whether it was during or after sex, on quiet drives around the city at night, on hikes up the local hills with Duke in tow, it never failed to make your heart flutter.

It was the soft moments you shared when he murmured those words to you that you loved. It was just you two, and a love that you held so carefully because the heart in your hands had been hurt before. And so when he first said those words after a night spent at his and you’d been trying to cook breakfast for the two of you, you dropped nearly dropped the pan because you’d been so caught off guard.

He’d laughed seconds later when you muttered “I love you too, but we’re going to have issues if you don’t help me clean the mess you helped cause.”

But in this moment, full of a cold and he was still saying those words that made your heart swell.

“I do know it. And I know that you know I love you just as much.” You murmured in return and his lips curved up into a cheeky grin.

“Someone’s been watching too much FRIENDS.” You snorted at that.

“No, I’m just feeling delirious and exhausted. Wait---Cal!” You protested as he picked you up with ease, your legs wrapping around his waist so the two of you wouldn’t tumble to the floor.

“Princess, you looked like you were going to pass out when I got to the kitchen. I wasn’t about to make you walk back to your room.”

You groaned, but didn’t protest any further as he dropped you on the bed, ditching the shirt he was wearing and despite the beautiful sight before you, a groan escaped your lips.

“I swear to god, if you even utter anything along the lines of sex is good when you’re not well, I will take your soup cans and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine.” You warned him and he laughed as he tossed his shirt onto his pile of clothes before crawling into bed beside you.

“I promise you, I won’t try anything unless you want it. But I know you like tracing my tattoos, even when you can’t see them. So I figured it’d be a small thing to make you feel somewhat human.” If your heart wasn’t melted already, it certainly was now.

As you settled yourself into his side, you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I really do love you.” You murmured softly as his arm wrapped around you, fingers playing with the ends of your hair.

“I love you too, princess.”

---

tag list: @cals-babylons , @glitterprincelu , @calumspeachy , @wrappedaroundcal , @cosmocalum , @mistletoemichael , @talkfastfletcher , @hereforlukescruff , @astroashtonio , @catchinqcalum , @roselukes , @5saucewho, @babylon-uncrowned , @dontstopisagoodsongchangemymind , @therainydays4 , @asht0ns-world , @silverchainbee , @hidd3nfangirl , @doodleasouarus , @empathycth , @mylovehes , @songforhema , @kinglyhood , @youngblood199456 , @makecoffeenotwars , @5squash , @negative-love , @softboycal , @kinglycalum , @you-of-ghost , @meetyoutheremgc , @lmao5sosimagines , @lietoash , @aw-hawkeye , @biggestslutforcalum , @drummerboy794 , @itjustkindahappenedreally, @mycollectionofnuts , @coreybryanttrash , @abitloudforanaccousticset , @boytoynamedcalum , @teampreator , @dukehoods , @dweebluke , @calumhampton , @lashtoncurls , @toofadedtofight , @gigglyirwin , @blue-skies-are-alright , @hearts-to-the-sky , @tiddlerrr , @all-i-want-is2b-loved-by-you , @thesensationalcalum , @ashtxns-hxe , @cakeassx-blog , @dancingonanemptywallet , @rotten-kandy , @vipclifford , @musiclover1263 , @rosecoloredash , @jpgluke , @cathartichaoss , @5secondssofssummer , @cozyfivesos , @balsamichood , @cliffordstxngue , @lukesbellas , @myloverboyash , @cxddlyash  , @gabiatthedisco , @rosesfromcth , @gorgeouslygrace , @glitterlukey , 

#day two of fic week and i am still loving it #calum hood blurbs #calum hood blurb #calum hood imagine #calum hood imagines #calum hood fic #5sos blurb #5sos blurbs #5sos imagines #5sos imagine #5sos fics #5 seconds of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer blurbs #5 seconds of summer fics #my writing #birthday fic week

[dyketubbo]

not to be parasocial or set the bar way fuckin low w friendship or anything but sometimes i see clips or scs of like. ccs supporting each other or sticking up for each other, being comfortable with each other and like. wow! god i wish i had that

#negative #not like. towards the ccs im just personally being negative abt how i just. dont have that #its. weird. its so so weird i just #ok quick warning im going to vent in these tags this is a vent post but i dont have anywhere else to put this #all of my friendships sort of just. fall out. or get distant at a certain point #the people who say theyll protect me dont know me and the people that know me dont care in a way that actually helps me in any wat #*way #or like. i can list. two people (well. systems. but still) who have ever checked on me when they noticed i wasnt feeling good #two. two whole fuckin people in my entire life who have reached out and asked me if i was okay #and hell those are the people that i say im okay to! and they still check on me anyways and i just! #its appreciated. genuinely. but god i wish others in my life were like that. that others in my life cared #once me crying was enough to get someone to help me. was that just because they hated the person that hurt me too? #they arent obligated to help me w my mental health or anything but. idk. im tired of having such a shaky support system n i jusf #once i talked about wanting to run away. wanting to separate myself from everyone in headspace and wanting to change everything about me #and ghosted everyone for hours. and you know what happened? #someone else panicked that they were too late and then *thats* when someone stepped in to comfort *that person* #and didnt give a fucking SHIT about me. waved it off and said oh well shes gonna be fine and sure ill miss her but its whatever #at least we had good times together :] fucking bullshit. glad to know i clearly dont matter enough to be more than a memory #if i didnt have so many responsibilities id just. ghost them all i think #none of them truly care for me. only two people have ever shown care for me and both times the people were ones i put facades around #ive poured out my fuckin heart and soul and ive comforted people over and over and constantly pleaded them to take care of themselves #over and over and over. and not a single one of them would do it for me #such a shit world to live in. a villain who doesnt even have the guts to go through a villain arc #im so tired. i just want someone who i can be comfortable around. someone who cares. someone who i know would help me up if i fell down #im so tired of being independent. im so tired of being the good kid. the smart kid. well spoken. tough #i want to break. i want to break so badly but i cant. because the only person who would fix me is myself and the reason why i #want to break is because im so so tired of fixing myself #the closest i have to people who care are my headmates but it feels like theyre required to care #i appreciate them. i really do. but if the only people that care about me are the ones who are stuck with me #what abt the ppl who can leave? idk. im tired. i want to be a kid again. having friends was so much simpler when i was a kid

[hypereactive]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? my best friend

2. Are you outgoing or shy? shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? my best friend

4. Are you easy to get along with? depends. i try to be, but im also REALLY picky/have strong opinions on a lot of stuff, and im autistic..

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? yeah

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? a caring one, who listens before judging

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? yeah

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? my best friend

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? sometimes

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? probably my best friend

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “o”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? uhm. I like A LOT of songs.

billie ellish- bury a friend and you should see me in a crown

rag’n’bone man - human

rebel - black pearl (hes a pirate)

Aladdin soundtrack - Prince Ali and one jump ahead

arctic monkeys - Do I wanna know?

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? rarely

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yea

15. What good thing happened this summer? new job, in my field of study

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yepp

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? probs at least simple life

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? only if I run into him getting coffee (he works there)

19. Do you like bubble baths? if im in the mood

20. Do you like your neighbors? one i do, one i absolutely dont, the rest i dont interact w

21. What are you bad habits? im REALLY picky, and can come off as ungrateful (if u can’t do it right id rather u just not do it. apparently its more common to think at least you got something/they tried.)

22. Where would you like to travel? Anywhere w the right people. Nowhere without.

23. Do you have trust issues? kinda. More like I understand people wont understand me or meet my needs adequately.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? morning coffee

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my chin/teeth

26. What do you do when you wake up? if I have ResponsibilitesTM i get up and get coffee and leave the house in less than 20 min, otherwise i lay in bed on tumblr until i have to get up due to responsibilities or hunger.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? im good w where its at tbh

28. Who are you most comfortable around? my best friend

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yeah. 

30. Do you ever want to get married? yeah

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? lol yesss

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? none?

33. Spell your name with your chin. bdfuds

34. Do you play sports? What sports? not really. i like frisbee and longboarding if those count.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? no. I cant keep secrets.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? i usu dont. ill just go on my phone/leave/etc

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? my best friend. 

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? hot topic

40. What do you want to do after high school? lol im not in high school

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? depends on what they did and why, and if they want to grow as a person/make it right

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? im tired/overwhelmed/content/bored

43. Do you smile at strangers? if i lock eyes with them and they smiled, i might smile back, but im pretty good at Not Looking At People

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? ResponsibilitiesTM

46. What are you paranoid about? having a heart attack and no one being around to help me/not noticing until its too late

47. Have you ever been high? yea

48. Have you ever been drunk? yea

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black

51. Ever wished you were someone else? no, but i have wished my parents were

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my chin probs. idk i like myself

53. Favourite makeup brand? i dont wear makeup

54. Favourite store? this is a duplicate question.

55. Favourite blog? uhm.

56. Favourite colour? black/grey/light pink/raspberry/celery green

57. Favourite food? cheese, cheddar brats, spinach, chocolate chip cookies, milkshakes

58. Last thing you ate? rice w beef, spinach, egg and soy sauce

59. First thing you ate this morning? coffee and nutella

60. Ever won a competition? For what? I think so but i cant remember. Oh i think I won an anti-bullying poster competition once.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? lol nopee

62. Been arrested? For what? no

63. Ever been in love? few times now

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? uh. no. cuz i didnt even like the dude.

65. Are you hungry right now? no

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i only have one real friend so I feel like thats unfair

67. Facebook or Twitter? tumblr.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? still tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? lol no

70. Names of your bestfriends? no, bc hed not appreciate it

71. Craving something? What? not rn

72. What colour are your towels? grey or floral w pinks and blacks and oranges

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yes, usu. 2

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? total? uh. 8?

75. Favourite animal? birbs prob.

76. What colour is your underwear? why?

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate, unless its ice cream. then vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? berry (any) or cheesecake (also any)

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? grey

80. What colour pants? a darker grey

81. Favourite tv show? uh. i like sherlock.

82. Favourite movie? deadpool probs. or pirates of the Caribbean. or Aladdin. or detective pikachu.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? never seen either

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? never seen either

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? n/a

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? uhm. I cant remember. Probs the black and white one w the scar, or the starfish, or the sea gull

87. First person you talked to today? my sister

88. Last person you talked to today? my best friend

89. Name a person you hate? my past roommate

90. Name a person you love? my best friend

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? my past roommate and most recent ex

92. In a fight with someone? currently? no? ever? yes.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? 5

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 6

95. Last movie you watched? i dont know

96. Favourite actress? i dunno

97. Favourite actor? i dunno

98. Do you tan a lot? no

99. Have any pets? no

100. How are you feeling? i dont know

101. Do you type fast? yeah

102. Do you regret anything from your past? yeah, but not overly

103. Can you spell well? i think so 

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? no

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? i dont think so, but i want to (w the right people)

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? yeah, oops

107. Have you ever been on a horse? yep

108. What should you be doing? cleaning my house

109. Is something irritating you right now? no

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yea

111. Do you have trust issues? yea

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? my best friend

113. What was your childhood nickname? B. as in, just the letter

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yea

115. Do you play the Wii? no

116. Are you listening to music right now? yea

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? not usually

118. Do you like Chinese food? i think so

119. Favourite book? uhm. sherlock (the whole series). the uglies series (scott westerfield). the secret garden. Fahrenheit 451. 1984. 

120. Are you afraid of the dark? no, but sometimes im afraid theres something in it

121. Are you mean? no

122. Is cheating ever okay? no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? if i want to

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no

125. Do you believe in true love? im not sure i know what this means

126. Are you currently bored? no

127. What makes you happy? i dont know

128. Would you change your name? no

129. What your zodiac sign? gemini

130. Do you like subway? i cant eat there

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? lol weve been dating for a while now

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my best friend

133. Favourite lyrics right now? uh. I dont know.

134. Can you count to one million? that would take a month, so no.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i dont know. probably that i couldnt go to work bc i was “throwing up from a migraine” when i hadnt thrown up (yet).

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? it varies

137. How tall are you? i think im like. 5′8″?

138. Curly or Straight hair? curly. but not consistent

139. Brunette or Blonde? i am a brunette

140. Summer or Winter? winter. i can always wear more clothes

141. Night or Day? night. its quiet and calm

142. Favourite month? august and october

143. Are you a vegetarian? no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? yes.

145. Tea or Coffee? yes. depends on time of day/year/mood/etc

146. Was today a good day? i dont know

147. Mars or Snickers? mars

148. What’s your favourite quote? “if you cant explain it simply, you dont understand it well enough” -einstien is one of them. but there are more

149. Do you believe in ghosts? i dont know

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “aunt lillian’s footsteps became more distant, became whispers, were gone.”

@ramblebrambleamble i got bored and answered all of them

#about me

[guild-guardian]

Spoiler Free review of “All or Nothing”

After a cut because long post, many words, skritt math. 

The Story (No details)

Overall it's probably one of the best executed episodes worth of story that they’ve released in the last couple of Seasons. 

The Final Battle is more akin to the kind of scale you see in the Zorah Magdaros battle in Monster Hunter World than you’d expect to find in GW2, and that was a huge improvement compared to previous Elder Dragon battles. Having an active role in the battle, along with the NPCs not just “swinging their sword Oh look they swung it again” at trash mobs, and actually being useful- firing siege weapons, fighting mobs, picking you up if you get downed

So many call backs to minor named NPCs- some personal early personal story, and others from pact/priory/vigil etc It lead to a feeling of being surrounded by familiar faces as you lead the charge.  The short piece after the battle was also a well designed experience- the lack of UI and the “damage” lines that you felt when Balthazar killed you in PoF, further push the “oh fuck we’re pretty badly wounded”, along with the forced walk/limp and fall to our knees when we try to hop down along the uneven floor. The main character’s animation here was excellent and slow pace allowed Anet to sculpt a tightly designed experience that is as shocking as it is memorable. I won’t forget that last visual.

Brandon Bales and Debi Derryberry probably did the best voice work in this episode (imo- I haven't played it through on a non-sylvari male). It was extremely immersive and I totally bought what was happening as they expressed it.  I appreciated that the Zephyrites’ song/choir got further development, and how its relevant to the story just made it a really nice touch overall. 

I did think it felt very short- only 3 instances. It may be that they pushed the pacing to emphasise the commander rushing headlong and gambling dangerously on the first ideas that come to them, and they do love a cliffhanger at the end.  It ends on a flat note though, you can’t even interact with story NPCs after you finish it- nothing in the shiverpeaks map changes, no dialogue no “I’m just checking in” updates, nothing.  Final Note: WHERE ARE KASMEER AND MARJORY 

The Map

Huge! Ruins! Subterranean structures! Exploring! Absolutely nailed the Guild Wars 1 Shiverpeak atmosphere.but uh...not much to do past that. 

The Thunderhead Keep meta is fun- I love defense events that allow us to set traps, build barricades and ballistae. The Boss is TOO BRIGHT. It is impossible to see even with effects turned down and post processing off. Anet needs to reassess their priorities with visual telegraphing because right now you can’t see a thing, never mind reacting to the thing. 

Minor Quibble. UH WHERE DID THAT CLIFF AND PIT COME FROM? I’m pretty sure that the mountains just...continued north of the keep in GW1, and a little further north you’d come to the Mursaat teleporter to Hell’s Precipice. 

The dredge meta is...hard to get people to defend the 2nd and 3rd drills- I’ve yet to be successful on this one. 

The delay between meta active times feels a bit long, and perhaps its just the layout of this one, but there isn’t much notification if North or south meta is happening/how long until X etc. 

I don’t like that Map Completion can’t be soloed- Both metas are required. Unless you find a friendly mesmer or buy the Light of Deldrimor from the TP. 

Past the Metas, I’ve seen maybe 5 or 6 events tops on this huge environment. That is pretty woeful. I get that this was probably a high budget episode with two cutscenes, unique character animations and PvE environments built to scale with the GW1 counterparts (why did dwarves build so big anyway?), but the overall quiet map is a bit of a let down- considering the variety of content available in Jahai.

I adore the skritt/priory interactions, and an above ground village of Dredge being shown in in a positive light. Even if literally every member of the survivors has had to kill their friends and family with their own hands. 

The Mastery 

Heavily Situational and will take some getting used to. It doesn’t have that immediate “Good Feel” as mounting your griffon midair or while gliding. Being “animation locked” for most of the launch prevents you from gliding or re-mounting, so you just plummet for the most part and lose out on any air you might have hoped to gain from using it. 

At least we can be thankful it wasn’t required to complete the story or meta.

The Fractal

Dreams: Crushed Hopes: Sundered Orr: Ignored.  Instead of picking an interesting pirate/corsair character that could use a bit of story development, they go with the boisterous ghost from the Lion’s Arch Jumping Puzzle. 

This fractal is short (at T1- it’ll likely have more complexity as you go up) and very sparse on story. The music is good, and the environment is good. Dessa continues to be the shining star of most fractals with her responses to the situations she gets to observe.  Probably won't be the new Challenge mode fractal that people were hoping for, but the fight mechanics are fun and different. 

I’d appreciate it if Anet could relinquish their choke grip they’ve had on talk like a pirate day 2012 that seems to permeate all of their pirate related content- it always feels kind of like even the characters themselves don’t take themselves seriously. There's just something pretty wack with them.  (and I’m not talking about all the landlocked core game pirates just living in lakes barely big enough for their bases) That’s Enough. 

The Legendary

Probably one of the nicest they’ve done in a while. Initially I was put off by it- the official preview of it in the reveal trailer didn’t really show it off very well- not the steps, aura or on-draw effect. However on this video from someone who got it before release, they point out a few things about it that really sell it for me.

I love the scorch mark on draw, with the dubstep twangs the most. A little disappointed that Range LB 5 is unaffected- it could have been very pretty (ie spirit bow active visuals).   It's a very refined weapon that will certainly suit a lot more characters than Kudzu, and I’ll probably make it after I finish Ipos. In like a year.

The Music

Knocks itself out of the park in a home run touchdown or however sports works. The choral piece for Aurene is very beautiful, and I especially appreciate the tarir motif used towards to the end of the track.  Re-used GW1 themes in the map give a very nostalgic feel, and the fractal has a unique Shanty theme, along with what was used for this year’s Festival of the Four winds. 

OVERALL SCORE 7.5/10

The story is moving and immersive, the encounters well designed and well executed, however sparse event placement on the map kinda gets :/ from me. 

Fractals continuing a trend of “we can do anything in the history of tyria- but lets focus on the boring parts” is also disappointing. 

PS. The .5 comes from the Skritt writing and voice acting.  So pure and wholesome. 

#Guild Wars 2 #GW2 #Living World Season 4 #No spoiler review #my two coppers

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

#tag meme #about #srry if theres any weird grammar or spelling going on half of this was written when i had a monster headache #and was doing everything but laying down!!!!

[thelifetimechannel]

#tlcstuck #jane crocker #davesprite #walkaround 3

[sauceuser98]

I Think I’m Done

I have this problem of falling for people who I can’t have. I was going through a heartbreak where I decided I was done trying to make someone mine or become someone, someone. I met this girl during this time she was weird mysterious and very cute. Like too cute for me, so cute I didn’t try and flirt with her or make conversation cause she was way too far out of my league. We worked together and eventually she asked me if I wanted to hang out. Weird for me because she initiated the first contact. I thought nothing of it. When we hung out her room was weird lots of miscellaneous items, very grotesque and weird. I couldn’t put my finger on her. We smoked weed and soon she said that we should move to the bed as it was more comfortable. I was so naive and never really had sex except the one time I was blackout drunk and was forced upon. I try to forget about it and don’t count it. I had no idea what she wanted to do. We cuddled and then after awhile she pulled me onto her. I still didn’t put 2 and 2 together. Eventually I did and I asked her if she had a condom. She didn’t I definitely  didn’t. We met up again and then had sex. It was nice for me. The first time type of eye opening sex. We met up again and again and kept having sex. But we also hung out and talked. Not just sex. We had a good time. There was about a week in between each visit. On like the 3rd visit, I asked her. “What is this to you?”. She said “I hadn’t really thought about it.” That was a clear answer to me. I don’t want this to go any farther than this right here. I was spot on. I quickly realized she was addicted to sex and had at least a few other guys that she could text at anytime to come over. We only hung out a few times a month. She rarely spent a night alone. She was sexually curious at 11 and messed around with a girl who was 13 when she was 11. She gave her first blowjob at 13. She then had many sexual relationships with people much older than her. Basically all men. She cammed for a while and sold sexual services online. She claims it wasn’t prostitution and that she walked all over a guy once for money and then fucked him but didn’t fuck him for money cause she would have fucked him either way is what she said. She stopped all that pretty soon before we met. But she had an abusive relationship with this guy. He just wanted sex and was very rude and dismissive to her. He would force himself on her and she would push him off, he would punch her and then force himself inside her. She wanted that though. She fell in love with him. She’ll never admit that she loves him. But she loved everything he gave her. Pain, suffering, a constant dismissal of attention. She was addicted to him. She broke that off right before me as well. We were friends with benefits. I got to be really good at getting her off. I never came. Not once did I come. I stopped trying really. She really liked having sex with me cause I was good at it. But we became more and more focused on our friendship. She claims that she actually really wanted me to make a move to be more. But after an argument we came to the conclusion that I did make an attempt and she shot it down. I was okay with being friends. I cared about her but couldn’t see myself holding her down. And i was practicing distance. About half a year into our relationship she met with another co worker and they went on a date had sex and she was very eh about him. He assumed they were dating now, at least thats what she says. She has a very poor ability to say no to people especially back then. They were now dating but we were still fucking. That came to end and she said we could hangout but no fucking. She hadn’t let me know that they were dating and so I would see them interact all the time and sometime would see him leaving as I was arriving. One time me and her were supposed to play quarters and when i got their he was leaving and I said “would you like to join” he was down and we started playing. He had his hands all over her and I quickly realized I was the third wheel. I got sad and was drunk. I decided to get cigarettes. I forgot my earbuds. Walked back inside and he was on top of her in bed. I did not say anything or even look really. I walked back out. I got cigarettes and walked for an hour or so. I got back and was still too drunk to drive so I sat outside. Eventually they both came out to comfort me. Mainly her. I got up and walked away. They followed me. We all laid on the bed going to sleep but I sat there and waited for them to go to sleep and left. Was one of my worst nights on earth. Cant believe I didn't see I was hurt because I thought she just didn't want a relationship and here she is in one. I knew she fucked countless guys but I didn't wanna meet the guy. We continued to hang out. On the day after her birthday, I came over with cigarettes with a bow and a card. The card had cute bears on it and a sweet message inside. She didn't look inside. The next morning, I said the real present I wanted to give her was to drive 3 hours away to this oasis and spend the day. I said i understood she prolly didn't wanna go tho and thats okay. She apparently didn't even spend her birthday with her bf as he left town and got her a grocery store cake. She got excited and said lets go. We had the most magical and romantic moment either of us have ever experienced. The sexual tension was there. When we got back I expected a long time before we could hang. The next night, She called asking if she could come over. I said sure and we stayed up all night watching movies. In the morning she asked if I wanted to come over I said yes. We got to her place and immediately started having some of the best sex we ever had. Pretty soon after, we heard knocking, on the outside door. We assumed it was the upstairs neighbor who didnt have a key again. She said lets go to the shower. I  said sure. But got up to let the neighbor upstairs. When i opened the door it was her bf. I was half naked and sweating. I remembered her phone was ringing all night and she wouldn't pick it up. She was ignoring him. I sat outside while they talked. She came outside and said “ ill cya later dude”. Dropped my stuff in my lap and walked away. 2 weeks of no communication I said hello and she responded that she needs some space right now. 1 month later she posted on her story and i asked how she was doing. I was growing increasingly worried that I was being ghosted. She sent me a picture of space. I sent her 3 texts more over the course of 6 months. She clarified that she wanted to be friends with me but couldn’t cause it was damaging her relationship with her bf. and she wanted to focus on that so maybe someday we could be friends again but not now. I was a wreck that whole time and realized that I was in love with her. I missed her dearly and was in so much time. I spent that whole time depressed and abusing drugs. At about 7 months. One morning I woke up and I had this feeling like a boulder had been lifted from my shoulders. I could breathe and I knew i had moved past her. I sent her a message saying thank you for all the lovely times. But I am over this. She responded and said she was very sorry how it all ended and wanted to talk about it over a coffee. She had broke up with her bf for the 3rd and final time the night before. We hung out and picked up where we left off having the best time together. We hung out increasingly frequently till it was every night. At about 2 week I said I cant do this if i’m not the only one. She said then “ lets date”. I didn't believe her but we started dating. We started spending every night and every free moment together. It was amazing so was the sex. Everything was perfect. Until one night I was going to hangout with my best friend who I hadn't seen in a long time. I got high scared and so i texted her. no response. I called no answer. I called again the phone picked up and i said hello but then the phone hung up. I called again and she answered she was out of breath and scrambling. Saying how the phone id said my mothers name that she didnt recognize. and she didn't recognize my voice. she also says that her phone was upstairs so she didn't hear it. She says that she was chasing the cat around the house which is why she was out of breath. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was going to have a cigarette. She then told me to hold on one second. She said she had to pee. I hung up and began to cry. She cheated on me. I saw it in my mind. I never even thought of it as a possibility until then and then it happened. I cried all the way to her. I showed up and told her I thought she cheated on me. She was very dismissive and was like “ really??” “are you serious?”. After that every time we spent time apart i would get anxious. I started looking through her diaries and her phone. All the time coincidental things would happen that she would have no explanation for and I would think she was cheating on me. This happened almost every day. It was hell for me. We were surprisingly doing well tho. Soon after we moved in with my parents to save money to move to Oregon. The anxiety only got worse and the stress and fighting became almost constant. She left back home. We stayed in a long distance relationship for 2 months. I came back to live with my sister who lives close to her. We are still in a relationship. She doesn't want to have sex. Or is very particular about it. Weve had sex only a handful of times and ive been back almost a month thats weird for us. I am very depressed, I dont feel like she loves me half the time. Other times i think she is cheating on me. other times were having lots of fun together. Its becoming unbearable and I feel i might kill myself soon. Im tired of this game. I ready to see whats next. I always knew I would never last long. Is 21 the year where I finally get the courage to end it. 

[slowmotion-nightmare]

2.28 This is a statement not a question (it doesn’t need a response.)

It was good catching up. A long overdue heart to heart. I can’t recall the last time we had one...maybe picnic day.

As usual, we ran out of time. When we talk, an hour turns to minutes.

Can we please make time for future conversations? I’d love to focus more on life and less on work (although venting is encouraged and therapeutic.) I feel like we’ve spent so many lunch hours having very surface level conversations when we both probably wanted to discuss other things but maybe didn’t know how to approach the subject.

I miss the deep conversations we used to have. Today reminded me a lot of the old days.

There’s still plenty we didn’t get to say today, that I’m sure with time, we will. 

It makes sense now, why you don’t post as much. Or, more specifically, why you don’t post certain content anymore, for concern of how that could be interpreted. I honestly was starting to wonder if I had all the feels and if you were over it. 

I still have more questions. Some about why things are different. Some about ways things can improve. Some about stories we never finished or things said but never explained. Why don’t you update the playlist anymore? Whats something you’ve always want to ask but never have? When did “yis” stop being a thing? What happened when you were 12? Why did you only post a title about the Halloween card but never the story behind? etc...

I still feel a little foolish. I guess I look for the hidden meaning in a lot of things and sometimes I’m good at finding them in things that don’t exist. It does make me genuinely question how many things I’ve misread as having more meaning than they were intended to. There are likely several scenarios where I’ve posted something in response to something I completely misinterpreted. That raises other questions too...

But i guess that’s what you get when a primary form of communication is cat meme’s and song lyrics. Hence why I’d like to just talk more. 

I did end the day admittedly a little frustrated and upset, considering it had just been discussed. No good night, no I can’t meet up, just ghosted. 

Its frustrating because we have such limited time. Anyone else, you can text anytime. Anyone else you can talk to throughout the day. Anyone else you can meet for beers or a movie after work or on the weekend. We don’t have that luxury. I’ll admit, it’s selfish, yet frustrating when we can’t talk because you’re talking with someone else you can talk to at anytime.

Edit: I now understand this evening was a miscommunication and not how I interpreted it. I’m leaving my original statement as I think it appropriately articulated my frustration from the summer.

[strawberryspeachy]

So far on the boys ive talked to in japan - aside that teacher

1) around september i decided to look at whose on tinder. One boy i matched with talked to me and didn’t stop responding upon finding out i was not japanese. He helped me with a couple japanese phrases - telling me what sounded most natural. Asked me if i lived alone. Said he wanted to meet me.... asked if i was free that week. I said yes. I gave him a couple days that i was off. He never responded again - that was about 5-6~ days into talking

2) october i went to a club... after a disappointing night i talked to the cute ... not bar person but like he was on the floor. I thought he’d walk away but he got all happy and kept moving close to me to talk. It being too loud combined with my poor japanese and his no english meant we used google translate to talk mostly. Added each other on instagram and he said he’d like to hang out sometime. I asked about a few days and he pulled out his calendar and both were days he worked- he had two jobs. He said we’ll figure out a time later. We had some conversations on instagram. Then after a couple weeks his stories always showed him with friends. I asked him a couple times when he was free and he said he was working all the time. After another weekish of that i said it seemed that he had time to see his friends but not me. And he basically just said yep

3) december i got back on tinder. But for real. Not just a qick swipe through. Talked to the next guy with a bunch of other dudes. Was just talking. Trying to improve my english. Hoping someone would ask me to go eat with them since that is what id written on my profile. This boy asked me to hang out. We’d talked more and more over the two weeks and he said he really wanted to see me. But he couldnt cause he was working too much. Then he told me when he has a break. I had the flu at the same time and told him id tell him when i was better and he got sweeter and sweeter toward me. Then we talked on the phone and it was awkward and difficult cause my japanese not being great is even worse when i cant gesture. But it went well. Then. Suddenly. Over text the tinder boy - lets have sex! - bs came up. I said i didnt want to the first time we meet and i wanna just talk. He asked a couple more times about it and then agreed. The day before we talked on the phone again - he suddenly said he had to take another call and hung up and then didnt say anything else the rest of the night. I freaked out a bit that night thinking hed stopped talking to me. But the next morning he messaged me like nothing happened. Didnt even want to acknowledge my freak out aside from telling me not to think so much.

We met up. He took me to a shrine. We got fortunes and ties them to a tree... then he took me to his apartment... fast... he said he wanted to watch movies together.... bought... chocolate. I mean great but i wanted real food i was hungry. Then. He kept trying to have sex with me. So many times just pushed and pushed. Would not take no for an answer. Finally when... he was trying to take off more of my clothes and i wouldnt let him and said no again. He asked if i had my period. And only stopped after i said i did. Kept trying to pursuade me to give him a blowjob.

Before that... he asked me to be his girlfriend. Said he was moving soon and asked me to move in with him. Told me hed be workig two jobs for the rest of january so we couldnt meet again till February...

Anyhow after i kept saying no to a blow job and other stuff happened i asked him if we could go get food. He said he didnt have money and cooked bad ramen on the stove and french fries... he drank a bunch of alcoholic. We watched some music videos and he went to sleep.

When he kinda seemed to wake up i tried to make a point of me leaving. He just acted kinda annoyed that he had to even still deal with me being there at that point and ignored me while trying to sleep... he ghosted me right in front of me

He replied to my text the next day with some nonsense and about a week later he told me about his apartment plans. He sent one last text about it before... never responding again

I let it be for the next four weeks... till the days he was supposededly done working two jobs and couls see me again. Hed made story postings during this time

But yea. Never replied to me again

4) some boy who wanted to get better at english cause hes moving to the us. We talked on the phone a couple times near christmas. He complained about not having a gf and said he wanted to hang out. But the times i asked he was “busy”. We hung out once... played darts. He said he didnt want to drink cause he drank the night before and he ate before meeting me so left early.... said next time. There was never a next time.

5) some guy i talked to a bit. He asked to meet up. I agreed. Took a whole for us to find each other cause he kept...... hanging up the phone on me.... he didnt look like his pic and he dressed weird. He basically hailed me over when he found me and then walked fast so that i basically had to chase him around. He was one of those dudes that walks with his hands out like people are supposed to move for him. After about 20 minutes of that he told me to wait while he pretended to get a call and then told me his dog is sick and he needed to leave to take her to the hospital. He said well meet again. Never saw him again not that i wanted too.

6) talked to another boy for a couple weeks. Just about fun stuff it was good conversation. We talked about music and movies and murder mystery parties. About our days and just generally the kind of good conversation you have with friends. Around the third week we talked about meeting... but. Then. Tinderboy - i wanna have sex! Came into the convo... i told him i had my period and asked if we could go out to drink instead. He said lets drink before we do next week. Whatever. Next week comes around. Same good conversation everyday. The day of comes and he responded to me in the morning reconfirming the time and place and stuff. Once the time to meet rolled around. No response. I called him a couple times more so to bitch him out. He blocked me.

7) some other dude. We talked a bit. He asked me to go out to eat. Post poned 3 times that night cause he was working later than he was supposed to. I was so hungry. No he didn’t wanna go out to eat. Bought me some convience store food and barely let me finish eating before hooking up... he said thanks to my happy birthday message. But otherwise we havent talked again. Even though hes a ten minute walk away.

8) then of course theres the absolutely adorable boy who took me out on the date of my dreams.... until he silently walked me the train station. Said bye. And now has slowly ghosted me all week. He just unmatched me on tinder after i asked about it so. Guess he’s gone. Which has me feeling fucking terrible.

9) talked to a guy a couple days ago. He asked if i wanted to hook up. I basically agreed. I WANTED HUMAN CONTACT ON VALENTINES DAY. He told me beforehand he was only free for a couple hours. Asked if i wanted him to pick me up the night before buttttt i got my hair treated and shouldnt sweat so i said it was too late and i needed to sleep. He met me. Late. At the station and walked me back yo his apartment after i was done work. One of my students saw me with him... embarrassing. We talked a lot. Hes the oldest guy ive ever... anything. Though still just 29. It would have been a good conversation if... i didnt know he asked me to come have sex and then never made a move. An hour and a half in he suddenly went

Oh its the time! Sorry go. I should have agreed to his request for yesteday instead of insisting on friday.

Ive been freaking out about 8 and i messaged him asking if he lost interest in me. He never responded to my message asking if he wanted to hookup yesterday. He didnt respond for 20 minutes and then i said either say yes or no so im not waiting. And he almost immediately responded with no. So. Idk.

10) talked to some dude from hong kong yesteday. He messaged me first saying he doesnt like japan and just came for the food. Ive been crying all day and basically hust bitched about japan to him. Apparently he doesnt actually dislike japan... he just doesnt like the bidets.... and i told him my home life sucks so im here but here sucks too so wtf. Ya know. Things that are totally attractive go someone you started talking to a half an hour ago. He said he wanted to talk about food. Im good at food talk ok. Then asked if i wantrd to meet up and look for cake with him. Sure. Shinjuku. The same placd i met 5 and 3. Thought id break the- everytime i come to this city im depressed. Cause before them the last time i went to shinjuku in the summer. I couldnt find the clothes shops i was looking for. There were couples all around me. And it was the first day in japan i felt so utterly and truely miserable and alone and like nothing in my life was better. I was still hoping at that point that the teacher i worked with would go with me and show me around and i left thinking next time i go itll be better cause i wont be alone.

Well shinjuku appears to be bad luck for me. I got stressed trying to find this boy and sounded like it over the phone. But he still met up with me. I brought him some snacks from the baskery near me on my way. We talked. He speaks english. But he just asked about my job... how do you get it. Is it hard. Whats its pay.

I walked past a cake shop on my way to meet him and i showed him the cakes he said he really wanted. He said he didnt bring much cash so he didnt want it.... k i thought that was the point of this trip but whatever. He asked me if i was hungry three times. I said i ate before coming because normally when i meet people we dont eat and i go hunry. I left out the YOU SAID YOU WANTED CAKE!!! Part. He said he was hungry but didnt want me to not eat while he did. So i told him to find a place with desert and ill eat desert while he eats a meal. Were walking. This is about 25 minutes in and he starts to complain his legs hurt and that hes tired. Another 10 minutes pass and he complains more about how he feels like hes floating and his shoes dont fit. I see mcdonals and say i know this is lame but ive kinda been craving a big mac. Its fine if not cause ya know your visiting japan but would you want mcdonals. He jokes about it and then goes yea i could go for a bigmac. We get in the store and he tells me to go. And i tell him to go ahead first. Then he says no he feels sick and doesnt want to eat.... tells me to eat... the exact situation he didnt want earlier

Hm. Gee. I wonder whats coming. I say i only wanted to eat cause he said he was hungry. We leave and then he says maybe its tmi but - proceeds to tell me about being constipated. I didnt try to listen. Btw he was 6’4 and kinda difficult to hear if i didnt try. I wrap that up with. Yea i think that was a tmi story but good for you. Cause the gist of it was that he could shit now.

Then. You know its coming. He says hes gonna go home. I stop acting happy. I told myself the next time this happened id confront them.

We met up at 7 and it was now like 7:50. My train is 10 bucks round trip.

But. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

All i could say after a while of kinda just going silent was - whyd you ask me to meet if you were so tired.

And he aaid cauae walking around japan alone isnt fun. Yeah mean i know. I said that to you over text earlier.

I asked him if i dont look like my pic. He says i look exactly like my pic.

I say a few times before ive met up with guys and we never talk again. And he goes - well youre meeting strangers and sometimes it just doesnt click

He unmatchd me the moment he got on his train. I imagine were still friends on snapchat cause he probably deleted it since he redownloaded it to talk to me

So yea. Same experiences as back home because im me and i will always be cursed and miserable. I dont wanna sleep cause im waiting to see when that boy in 8 will block me on line... cause i sent alot of messages. It doesnt help me to know when.... but.... ya... idk. Someone shoot me please

[paradoxspaces]

actually here are more 3 am meat feelings

my prevailing thought about meat, which will probably sustain throughout candy and probably the rest of this week if not my life, is that john egbert died and none of his friends (beyond terezi) know about it. none of them know. he fucking died and his last words were a love confession to a girl who he doesnt even really know. john egbert died. he is probably not coming back and, even if there was a ‘’chance’’, he has been summarily dismissed from the narrative. 

john egbert died trying to be a hero even after we were told he wasnt special and he is dead!! he died and he didnt get to reconnect with the betas or the alphas even, didnt really work through any of his depression. he fucked terezi (suRe?) and tried to tell her loved her and fucking died. i am, literally, never going to be over it. 

hgshss aside from that i actually liked the ending more than I thought? The middle was extremely touch and go for me--there were moments I liked and then something would happen that I’d get upset about and the cycle continued-- but I thought the last few chapters were interesting and genuinely enjoyable. basically i love kanaya maryam so fucking much and i was so glad to see her be herself again ashjsj i lovE her.

Seeing the characters get motivated to work together and stop Dirk was a surprisingly optimistic conclusion for an ending that was clearly obsessed with misery. I didn’t expect that kind of ‘call to action’ that occurred, but I was glad to see it. Despite that and despite the post-scripts, I don’t think theres going to be anything after this. Alt-Calliopes last words in meat made it seem, to me, that any kind of additional work was to fall into the reader’s hands, in fanwork or w/e. or, at least, I supremely doubt hussie will be involved in anything going forward. there are still things left open, and new questions wrt dirk and the bots and the new session, but I feel like this was all meant to stir up investment in hs as a property, as a place to think about and create work for and pay attention to (and buy friendsims), but not as a piece of ongoing media. we have been compelled to think about homestuck for a while longer, but I’m not sure we will be reading new content again--or at least not for a while. (maybe candy will change my mind, though? so many ppl seem SO sure that there will be more and I dont know why besides wishful thinking)

not even sure if id really want more, unless it was like a 10 chap sequence about a secret middle route where john doesnt die, vrisrezi 4 real, and a normal dirk receives therapy and like chains ultidirk to the ocean floor or something. all the betas hang out regularly, but specifically rose and jade have one fucking conversation at least. 

(actually the concept of a like theatre of coolty-esque all-dirk showdown is. good. ultidirk/teen dirk/hal/brain ghost try to out-monologue each other and then fight) 

(actually actually jake kills ultidirk with his bare fucking hands to get some retribution for the bullshit that happened to him)

obviously obviously obviously I still have big issues with stuff. i hate that jakes main character trait is being sexualised and manipulated and the narrative still just makes him out to be the fucking dumbest shallowest idiot. why cant jake get like.....any depth at all....why cant there be an acknowledgment of how fully traumatized he must be at this point?? also i cant get behind johnrezi, tbh, tho i think theyre written well. beyond my full devotion to scourge sisters, they didn’t even talk that much, and most of their convo was tz dictating her plan to john to get the love of her live back. it isnt like they hung out all that often???? before that, their most notable interaction was when terezi tricked john into dying for a joke. why is john obsessed with these two girls he barely spoke to, who are both in love with other people?? (might be worth thinking about further) i dont like that 99% of the time roxys transness was brought up only to have someone near by be a fucking dick about it. Jane: become fascist is still really bizarre to me. i still think some of the HEAVY focus on meta commentary is a bit of a drag. 

overall i think this whole ‘exploration of the ugly bad awful shit’ was certainly that. we got meat, we got high plot/action/drama. bad things happened and everyone was miserable and disconnected and awful to each other. narrative relevance through trauma/pain/violence. I really thought it was going to end with some kind of tpk, so this kind of vaguely optimistic pseudo-cliffhanger was better than I really expected it to be. I’m holding off on like sweeping estimations until after candy, but I still am not sure what the point of having everything be THIS open ended is if not for a sequel and im not sure what the focus on ‘releasing narrative responsibility from the singular author/interpretation’ is doing if not directly precluding a sequel. so idk. onto candy, i guess. we’ll see how this all goes. 

(I hate ultidirk as much as the next girl ESPECIALLY for what he did to kan and for being just like....the worst during johns death but like. im dumb im dumb and bad and part of me wants dirk redemption in some form, ideally in another splinter obvi. i was extremely horrified and resistant to big villain dirk but after reading his later thoughts i get it more than I thought I would and its all very interesting. I also, like a lot of others, am entertained by the image of him cavorting around like a sailor moon villain or something) 

(i don’t love the weird convo that was kind of trying to excuse/react to the Incest Commentary Drama and I would have paid to have it removed but w/e)

(ALSO THE FUCKING ‘COSMIC LOVE’ VRISREZI BIT I. I !!?! TEREZI LOVES VRISKA SO MUCH. SHE LOVES HER S MUCH GUYS. SHE LOOKED FOR HER FOR FUCKING YEARS IN HER POV AND ALMOST DIED BC SHE DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE UP HDSHA LET THESE GIRLS KISS IM SO FUCKING SAD. 

HOMESTUCK IS ABOUT VRISREZI RIGHTS ONLY. I ONLY CARE ABOUT TWO GIRLS AND HOW MUCH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. GOD IM IN HELL GOD GOD GOD THEYRE IN LOVE!!!!! )

#this has been a text post #homestuck #homestuck epilogue #im cralwing through this epilogue bc im busy but also bc i ahve to take lengthy breaks to fucking calm down

[amuelle]

Surprise, surprise…YOU ARE the poison.

We are officially in 2019. All the people who were being cut off in 2019 have been cut off. You might just be the toxic person and now you have to deal with knowing you aren’t that great. As I just found out recently….

(Names were changed in the production of this post to protect the identity of participants…but she knows who she is and I’m not sorry….)

I think it’s important to maintain relationship and it’s not difficult to do. I’ve always prided myself on being a great communicator and maintaining relationships. I know I’m not the easiest person to love or get to know. It also takes a lot to get past my initial ‘hard’ exterior. Deep down inside past the sarcasm and smart mount…I’m really a sweetheart….Really. Its something I have complete security in. I know this about myself, I am a great communicator and friend. I was absolutely certain about it but I recently found out that that is not the experience that everyone has had with me. I rarely make new friends, however on occasion you meet someone who can make a valuable contribution to your life in the form of a new friend. I met this one lady – Lola, a long time ago when we were kids. We only became friends when a mutual friend reintroduced us in our 20s. We became a girl gang who hung out every weekend and grew close over a few years and it was a great time.

Part of adulating is accepting you aren’t always a ray of sunshine, you too can be a trash human being at times. Just because you don’t think something about yourself or are convinced you are a great human being that doesn’t make it true. Let me make a personal example – I know I’m loving and know how to show love. Just because I think I’m loving that doesn’t mean that everyone in my life agrees with that.  It doesn’t also mean that that’s how they experience me. My belief that I’m loving doesn’t negate the negative experiences people have had with me.

Recently….well not recently, Lola cut me off a long time ago but my slow ass only caught off after actually confronting the issue with her. We had a spat and I still admit I acted like a dick and I apologised for it when I realised where I had gone wrong. I apologised profusely. I apologised like I was Ruben Studdard and it was 2004, like Kobe did when he was caught cheating….I APOLOGISED…On more than one occasion and I thought we were solid but this was not the case. After noticing her distance herself I decided to reach out because maybe she was just living her life and still wanted to be homies. She didn’t respond to my text and I started to worry but I didn’t have the courage to address it. So it persisted to bother me and finally I reached out again and still no response but this time a bitch had some balls and asked why I was being ghosted. She finally responded saying “Because you are ill-tempered and thus incapable of communicating your hurt without being hurtful or catty to other people. This is my experience of you and I would rather not deal with that kind of energy”

(ROW OF SHOCKED EMOJIS AND SIDE EYE)

(THIIIIIIS BITCH)

I’ll admit that I was shocked and I wanted to further engage in the conversation but then it HIT me, she was right. In this specific scenario I was the poison. I had been a dick to her and she didn’t want to deal with me which was super fair. Did I agree with her a hundred percent, no not at all (let’s say vehemently disagree because I’m fucking awesome) but that didn’t matter because for her she had decided and she had cut me off.

I’ve seen that meme all over the socials about how if I’m the poison in your life don’t feel bad about cutting me off, we are grown and self care is important and blah blah blah….ABSOLUTE SHIYYYYTE! That shit hurts. It hurts, you will feel blindsided especially if you thought the issue was resolved. You may or may not get mad and you might want to act in the exact way that you got cut off in the first place. And that is EXACTLY what I did…..I totally did. I let my lil ill-tempered ass get to work. She clearly hadn’t thought it was of any value to notify me she didn’t want to be friends anymore and I wasn’t about to beg another woman like she gives me rounds. If I hadn’t apologised sincerely more than once I would get it but alas we were here now and a bitch got pride. After she gave me the answer I needed I also ghosted her. Then proceeded to delete her off ALL social media, whatsapp groups, deleted the reminder for her little birthday… I was all DELETE, no pause!

The deleting was definitely a knee jerk reaction. However I am NOT willing to swallow my pride and go back to talking to her about it because I am the POISON. It doesn’t mean I should just lay down and die. What exactly would I be trying to negotiate there???? I’ll tell you what, NOTHING!!!! Not one thing because she doesn’t want my friendship and that’s not a bad thing at all. Effectively, this person just said she wants nothing to do with me and that means everything relating to our former friendship had to change. I couldn’t be the only one in it and by keeping her number and keeping her on social media was just that. It’s a break up, break ups suck but they also teach you things. I am ill-tempered and don’t communicate well when I’m hurt.…BUT WHO DOES??? How many people can say at the height of experiencing the emotions that come with betrayal or an invasion of their privacy they will talk in a calm rational and thoughtful manner?  I can’t say that for myself. In fact the person who can communicate their hurt that way, I’d like to meet. I’d like to shake their hand, sponsor their life and follow them like people used to follow The Grateful Dead….. (And I’m serious!) As for being catty…shiiiiiit….I wrote that book, wrote the movie adaptation, executive produced the sound track and there is talk of a theater production. Yes, YES, YES she was right.

It takes a minuet for you to realise that your feelings are making you act a certain way. That certain way might make you not to be the most gracious human being. That said that text made me feel like I hadn’t grown, changed or learnt anything since. She drew a conclusion and it was a fair one because that was her experience. I don’t have to like it for it to be true. I am NOW not quick to be a dick but that doesn’t mean irrevocable damage wasn’t already done. I don’t dispute that at all and nor do I wanna change her mind. I’m only human and I made a mistakes. Just because you apologise it doesn’t mean the other person is obligated to accept your apology. Not only that, they are not obligated to try grow through something with you. They don’t owe you anything….(let that sink in, lets also repeat it for the people who read and don’t absorb immediately…..NO ONE OWES YOU A DAMN THING!)

Now rudely awoken to my toxic traits I am obligated to do better. My problem is/was that I need to use my words better at all times, especially when I’m upset. It’s not fair to lash out but it’s also impossible to gauge how you will react when your privacy is invaded or you feel betrayed. We all have knee jerk reactions and sometimes it hurts the people around us. BUT!!!!!!!! And this is a big BUTT… I mean stripper from Atlanta round and brown big. You are HUMAN!!! You will make mistakes and if you don’t grow from them then you deserve to be cut off and then cut off again coz you know better but don’t do better.

Someone can experience you in a certain phase of your life and assume that’s who you are. That’s who you were at that moment maybe when you aren’t heated you aren’t that person. That doesn’t matter. How many of us go back to the stove to get burnt some more after having been burnt? You won’t go back to get brunt again, but you still need to use the stove to cook. You just now need to be more careful. It’s crazy and irrational to think someone would see poisonous traits in you and stick around to see IF you change. There is no guarantee that once the issue has been raised and apologies exchanged that you will change. If they don’t give you the chance to show them you have changed, you aren’t their lover and even if you were they have every right to still leave you if you are not fulfilling your mandate. Don’t be selfish enough to think anyone is obligated to put up with your torture.

Torture yourself and let the rest of us LIVE!!! That said in this situation since I am the poison I have to understand that I was the weakest link. Even though I felt slated because in her other friendships she had given chances and let others change and grow to be better. In our situation maybe she reached her breaking point quicker or our friendship wasn’t that important to her such that we could try work through things. I’ve decided to KTSE( Keep The Same Energy). If you don’t want to try with me I’m not going to try convince you I am worth it. I already know I am (wow that whole paragraph sounds so defensive….oh well)

At this point It’s not about loses and gains, it’s all about peace of mind. Lola did what she had to do. By asking and her telling me she is done with me, it gave me what I needed too. I’m solid right now. I absolutely prefer this to the purgatory of a one side friendship. I know better now and my intension is to always be cognisant of the way I deliver a message even when I’m hurt. You have been cut off for a reason and that reason should be a starting point for you being a better human being.

At the time of writing this I hadn’t seen her in a LONG LONG time. When I finally did, I was with a mutual friend and I avoided her like the plague. If I saw her left, I went right, like I was playing ‘you can’t catch me’ and that was the ill-tempered petty in me…I feel fine about it because it’s good to know we are nothing to each other. I am also grateful she showed me that I need to do better and I intend to do so.

[isaacathom]

I should be thinking about Zeke and his deal but instead im thinking about how i can fuck with all the gym leaders and have a bunch of them be my other characters.

for instance, all my ggs characters?? perfectly equipped to exist in Urica. considering Urica is victoria and ggs literally takes place in victoria. its a match made in heaven. i can also totally include Black, in an aesthetic sense - i can absolutely take her black with green highlight aesthetic and put it on like, a Dark type gym leader. i can imagine it

only issue is i diiid want the gym leaders to have some impact, to have some INPUT on the story as a whole. something like the ending of bw1 when all the gym leaders (except the triplets cause fuck em i guess?) showed up at the castle to help. but a lil more? include the e4 in on the scheme. the champion herself is 100% present and is even personally responsible for arresting Dante at the end. yknow. so having the gym leaders be a bunch of characters who shouldnt /really/ be there is sorta weird for that, a little counter intuitive. at least with the Black thing, its just her look, not actually her. mostly because Black is a straight up shadow monster. though, if its her aesthetic, shoooulllld the gym leader use a wheelchair too? that would complete the look. i feel like if there is a gym leader with a wheelchair, either they should have psychic pokemon (because that makes sense in a practical way) or theyre gym needs to be placed very precisely. if i want that gym leader to actually participate, their gym either needs to be the City gym (yknow, the one you can skip by fighting Rhia, though you’ll need to come back for it eventually) or one of the very close ones, orrrr they can be placed further away and removed from the story climax by saying ‘well, how did you really EXPECT them to get here???’. since, like.... if they need their wheelchair, they HAVE to travel manually. unless their pokemon, like a big fuck off bird, can have the leader on their back and the wheelchair in their claws?? but then how does the leader get on the back. also it has to be a Big Fucking Bird, like a gigantic bird, the biggest bird, the strongest bird. uh, one idea would be for the leader to actually stay in the chair and have them like, locked into a seat on the back? if that makes sense? but thats also logistically a pain. guess thats what a psychic pokemon would be for, huh? but if the bird wouldnt work, theres no other real way to get around beyond travelling by car or plane or whatever. so if their gym is aways, they cant get to the city on short notice.

it would actually kind of work if theyre the Eastern gym leader, from that town where Jun is from, where Rhia lives. it sorta fits the idea of that place being badly removed and poorly accessible due to a lack of like, provisions made to help it. so this gym leader is restricted solely to their community, helping with local problems, and can only really leave their town with a LOT of planning. a lot of effort has to go into them travelling a long distance. they cant just go west without help, its a goddamn mountain. 0/10 travel safety.

im not sure which of the options i prefer. having all 8 gym leaders + zeke + elliot + the elite 4 (possibly including that guy who is leaving???) + the champion is a lot of fucking people. so having a few of the gym leaders sit out makes sense? just to reduce clutter. so if a characters situation means it would make sense for them to not be present, why not capitalise? so having a wheelchair bound gym leader live on the other side of the mountain and thus have difficulty accessing the City works for that purpose. admittedly gym leaders can also be removed from the proceedings through the actions of the Team, by having a bunch of team members head to a few specific gyms and distract them.

thatd be fun. ok, so we can totally have a Black themed gym leader, wherever they might end up being in terms of the regions layout. they’d be one of 4 types - Dark, Ghost, Psychic, or Flying. the first two are thematic, the latter two are practical.

for others.... well. there has to be a water gym leader, who runs the gym out of the remains of the ‘Kingslake’ town. i dont really have a character who fits this, except for Ash from EC. which could work, but i dont think his design really fits. uh.... we could include one of the GGS characters, due to the urica/vic thing. of course, which one? by general ages, the only character who really fits is Katja, who would be..... uh..... uhm. hmm...... normal??? she’d essentially be whitney, if i think about it, which is also kinda boring. also i hate whitney and i wouldnt do that to anyone. steel COULD also work? which would place her later on, which works fine, since she doesnt live in the same suburb as the other ggs characters. being an Adult and all. she definitely lived close to melbourne, but for game balancing itd be totally acceptable to place her further away, like Geelong. the alternative is to have one of the younger ggs characters (Read: fucking all of them, theyre all like 16-18) be a really early on gym leader, like... Roxanne? or Cheren. definitely roxanne, at least. but for that, which one, and what type?? i feel like most of their types arent like, super good first gym material? Vivian would be fighting, Kay would be Ice, Sonya would bee... hold on. either electric or water, i suppose. and Isaac would be Psychic. Sonya could work, though i feel like if she is included, then Isaac should be as well?? theyre a duo??? which... hmm... actually, wait, fuck, Isaac and Sonya are both straight up adults, arent they. yea, fuck, theyre uni students. oh theyre totally golden, then. have Sonya be Electric or Water (or Flying, i guess?? or grass??? her power set is very.... broad) and have Isaac be the Psychic gym leader from the next town over. and also not be called Isaac because i already decided i wanted to change that??? besides i wanna have a fire type elite 4 named Isaac with a Ninetales because this is my game and im allowed to have myself be a goddamn elite 4, suckers.

if Sonya is water, that makes her the King Lake gym leader. which... yea, that works. isnt exact to her position in ggs, but it fits. making [Isaac] either the City gym leader (which si also like.... the 2nd or 3rd gym??? which feels too early for a psychic gym, but ill check) orr shes further north. beechworth might be too far north but theres plenty of space between kinglake and beechworth for a gym, i think. well... hmm. fantina is a ghost gym and she was third in platinum, which means its totally feasible to have a psychic gym be right up front. plus, hmmn, hold on. does the player go clockwise or counter clockwise? the region as i have it really roughly in my head is that its a rough loop, with some connecting points back to the city (think kalos but not shit cheers, no stupid black outs in this bitch). so when the player gets to the city, do they go north along the west side of the mountains? or south west down the coast towards geelong? i guess the issue is how you get across the mountains - you almost definitely need strength and rock smash to get through. but why would you get those hms in the west? suurely  the towns closest to the mountains would have this stuff? you could maybe justify Strength being elsewhere? that could be interesting. you could also have the Beechworth town be later, despite being a clockwise progression. maybe you need a specific hm to get that far north, you get there, then you get strength? idk.  sorta complex. but if i had both Sonya and [Isaac], id want them to be right after each other? though i suppose separating them by games progression but having them be physically close makes sense... and since the Kinglake town is ‘dangerous’ in Urica due to the bushfires, it makes sense to prevent you going directly to it from melbourne? so counter clockwise down the coast makes more sense then? sure. yea aight.

anybody else? thats 3 gym leaders. boi. boi fuck. well, there IS the EC crew, who are also perfectly open for these positions. the kids from RS, well, not so much, unless they were a gimmick trio like striaton. triple battles? fuck me dude imagine a triple battle gym battle, god, dude, holy shit, thatd be sick. /i/ wouldnt, but damn, imagine. god i wish the 3ds was powerful enough to handle triple battles without having a seizure. (in 3d anyway. iirc it ran fine with 2d? admit i didnt triple battle TOO much). so, no RS. EC can. uh... well.... Violet is available as a Fire leader, she’d be fun. Crystal could easily be there too, as aaaaa.... Grass? Grass gym? yea. which you’d want to be fairly early? well, 4th works too. would that make sense based on their surroundings, though. also, these are a lot of girls. i can include Skye as a flying type, but i cant include Will because he’s a dark type (unless i make the Black one a Ghost type, which is acceptable, certainly) but then thats an overwhelming number of character. thatd be 7, if i included 4 of the ec cast + two ggs + black. thats uh... thats too many? 3 might work better. maybe 5? like have it be black, [isaac], sonya, skye, and will? w/ skye probably changing his name to Not Be Shit, thanks, fuck. that leaves 3 original ocs. and Black can be any gender, and would essentially BE a new character, jsut with Black’s aesthetic. purely because i should stop trying to put Black in my stories. so, 4? two ggs and two ec? yea. Isaac as Psychic, and the 2nd gym (again, the skippable one). Sonya as Water, and the new guardian of [Kinglake]. [Skye] as Flying, likely further down the coast, maybe geelong? warnambool? any coastal city works if its got high enough cliffs, my guy. Will as Dark works fine for basically anywhere, but i think after Skye in progression. i like that.

then this Ghosty Fan who probably shouldnt be the last gym leader...... hmm.... but then where?? they could be up near the desert, where the old team base is??? someone has to be that gym leader. why would they be dressed in black in the desert? thats a good goddamn question. maybe not. man, it depends on where the gym towns are as to where the ghost goes. the desert is not the place, though. 0/10 not a good place. certainly not with that outfit. like, ghost would ALMOST make sense for that location due to the team base, and it being tied to this idea of it being the Ghost of the team, or where Seren’s ‘ghost’ is located. notably, Elliot will not come with you to the desert town. he just wont. he wont do it, dude. he’ll meet you at the entrance and say ‘yea good luck’ and he wont come in with you. so ghost might be fitting for that alone? but with the physical design? nah. but they shouldnt be TOO far back, right? though, since Acerola is like.... uh.... 5-6th gym leader equivalent in terms of when her trial occurs, i dont see any reason i couldnt have a ghost gym appear later on. its just that those that exist so far are all far more forward, i guess. im down for that??? maybe beechworth, or, again, the eastern thingo. idk. im gonna have to like, plannnn the region out some more. OOH, fuck, i was gonna include phillip island/pseudo tasmania too, fuck, where the fuck does THAT slot into progression. fuuuuck. uuuuuuuh. shit. where DOES that fit. after skye???? like, you fight Skye over in Geelong or whatever, , you get surf, you go on a big surfing adventure? why would.... the flying gym leader..... give you surf.... like, ok, the Water gym leader cant give you surf, because shes busy and thatd be REALLY late in the game to get Surf. considering most gens are like, badge 3-5 for surf (as an out of battle move) which would place it at a gym betweeeeeen Isaac and Skye? since there likely is one??? hmm..... hmmmmmmm.........

im thinking either the island or the east should be post game. OR, OH FUCK, the elite 4 could be on the island, fuck, we solved it, fuckers we’ve done it, the island is the champions village. there are probably some other spots though. kinglake, for one. ooh, that’ll be neat. you start on the other side of the lake and you have to surf over and its all nice and then BAM everythings burnt to shit my guy. nice. i like it. see that works. means i can introduce Surf as a usable hm whenevvvver. or just attach it to Skye because who cares, honestly, and attach Fly to the desert one. ooh, and that could be fun. like, you fight that gym leader, they go ‘now you have my badge, you can use fly! do you have fly? oh, you dont? hmm. You’re hanging with Elliot, right? maybe ask him. I’d have asked him in advance but he doesn’t like coming to this town. bad memories, I’ve heard’ and thatd be like, your first really blatant hint that Elliots got a past. you could even ask him about it next time you see him, alongside asking if he knows where you can get the Fly Hm (he MIGHT have it, idk). and hed go ‘huh? oh, haha, you know, sometimes small events happen, and theyre nothing major, of course, but they stick in your head and they taint a place, huh?’ or something really obviously dodging. then later Rhia spills the juice. nice.

i feel like there should be other places to use surf, though. perhaps surf is required in the mountain to get to the East? i can see that. that basically works.

ok i gotta fuckign wrap up ive had this post opn for like 3.5 hours jesus fuck

#story blogging #codename seren #long post #i got VERY uh. distracted? invested? all of them above and more #just went on a few thought trains. my ultimate conclusion is i really need to rough about the actual laout of Urica #so i can place gyms and hms n shit. so i know the structure