#if i ever hit post limit though ill explode

[rainbowcarousels]

I don't know how interesting this is going to be but I started to answer a comment on the latest JBSWM from @zanahoriabaila and realised I actually kind of want to talk more depth about the subject so I'm going to post it up here. Between talking a little about Genesis especially on twitter and briefly talking a couple of chapters ago about Sephiroth, it's kind of all been ruminating into something meta that borders on a directors commentary.

Again, how come your Genesis always spews all the stuff I think?

This is absolutely something I do with my version of Genesis on the regular and there's a few different reasons why he’s my character of choice for uncomfortable examinations of stuff.

 Cut for discussion of fic, canon, trauma and interrelationships with everyone!

The first reason is the Eve symbolism that comes with Genesis as a character. There's a decent bit of it with Genesis (much like Aerith) when you consider his name, his limit break, his carrying around of the forbidden fruit and the look of the Goddess statue and in CC canon, he is the first person to tell Sephiroth about what Jenova is. As such, giving a lot of the harder hitting commentary to Genesis feels natural because he is good at weaponising knowledge.

It also makes more sense out of AGS to give it to him because of each of their interactions with how knowledge effects them. The revelation of the Jenova Project in general (I hope!) illustrated this pretty well in that Angeal takes in knowledge and then thinks about what he should say or do or feel about it and it impacts it greatly. Sephiroth takes in the knowledge and tries to analyse and categorise because exploring how he feels emotionally about something is really difficult for him and unless it's pertinent, he just doesn't address it in terms of how to feel about it. Genesis in contrast to both goes instantly to what he is feeling in the moment and it fuels his decisions and choices.

Angeal's issue comes when what he should feel and what he does feel are so at odds that he can't reasonably justify how he feels and he's been going through a lot of that since he doesn't want to think ill of his mother, he does not want to consider that his father might have lied to him and he absolutely does not want to think about Hollander at all. His sense of honour is wrapped up in family, in the idea that he pulled himself up to get where he is with hard work and determination and that he does make a positive difference and he's just...completely lost right now emotionally because he can't reconcile his feelings with what he thinks he should feel.

Sephiroth's comes when something is emotive and he can't pick it apart and make sense of it through physical and observable changes. I think this probably comes from spending his childhood as a lab specimen so he knows how to report things that are observable and that emotions are too subjective so he doesn't include them. Then getting thrust into war, he also learns to describe himself by a physical status report. Zack gives him one based on how he is physically because he knows this is how Sephiroth is. The problem for him and the reason he is as noted by the same comment so detached is because he just doesn't really process anything emotional in any significant way, which is why as noted in one of my much earlier chapters, he struggles with saying 'I love you' because it's pure emotion and he tries to show it in his own way instead.  

Then you have Genesis who runs on his emotions and experiences like they're fuel. There's a throwaway line in Don't You Know My Name about how Genesis doesn't so much like or dislike things as he dismisses or obsesses over them and because of that, he has the nastiest tunnel vision and comes across as self centred. He likes to write his own narrative in a way that makes sense to him based on what information he has and how he feels about it. There's a line in the song from JBSWM's title song that says 'judgment made can never bend' and I think this is part of Genesis struggling more with Zack's inclusion into their relationship with Cloud because he formed his own opinions on Cloud and Zack is Angeal's little puppy he's been hearing about for years. It's hard to shift perspectives for him.

Zack and Cloud have their own relationships with truth and feelings but Gast is history for AGS. So onto Gast, because that the subject being discussed in the chapter. It's not something new, if I go by my own timeline, Genesis and Angeal have known since they were 15 about a decent chunk of what happened as Sephiroth's background and Angeal comes down hard on the 'respect what Sephiroth feels even if it's not entirely accurate because it's important to him' side and Genesis comes down on the 'This was bullshit and Sephiroth needs to know it was bullshit regardless of how attached he is to the memory of Gast because he needs to deal with it'.

Zack and Cloud are just forming their opinions and it'll happen over a few chapters, but Zack is far more emotion based but he also has rose coloured glasses and if there is an upside, he will find it. Cloud, growing up feeling angry and isolated and idolising Sephiroth, kind of has a similar way of coping as him in that he has this idea he can't be openly emotional or vulnerable because he'll get hurt but he also isn't about to pull any punches either. It should make for interesting interaction hopefully.

I think Sephiroth is more knowledgeable than he realises in that he quickly guesses from Genesis being willing to share that they are in the 'experimented on parents' club that this is colouring some of his interaction here. He backs down earlier when the subject comes up, not because he thinks he's wrong but he's not pushing that hard because as much as it comes from a place where he's sad and angry that this terrible thing happened to someone he loves, he can rationalise backing down because his feelings are second hand. Except now they're not. While Angeal and Sephiroth can look at their parents to some degree and assign some kind of blame (and Cloud can from being victimised), he can't because he doesn't know who his parents are or what the circumstances were but Gast was the head of the department when this crap went down so he is a prime target for someone to be furious at.  

These guys spent their teenage years building coping mechanisms based on battlefield experience, it's probably not a surprise Sephiroth is practical and tries to funnel it into something productive, Angeal tries to find the honourable method of dealing with it in the way he's supposed to and Genesis just wants someone, anyone appropriate to unleash all of that emotion on. I'd also argue that Zack tries to apply it to being the best hero he can be even though he was doing a lot of pretty unhero-like things and Cloud was cannon fodder, it's no surprise his sense of worth is in the toilet and he can't really grasp the idea of being special.

Someone described JBSWM as five broken people trying to make each other whole and I don't think it's exactly right, but it is close. It's five people trying to figure out a way to live with a shit ton of trauma and a lot of it is trauma they're complicit in which is really difficult to work through given all time and resources let alone trying to deal with Shinra at the same time. 

This kind of brings me back to why Genesis is often the pushing person in the relationship and why he's not always right to do it.

As horrible as the Project G revelations are, it's not the same as growing up in the way Sephiroth (and in some ways, Aerith) did and he has the coping mechanisms he has for good reasons. He needs to have this idea of Gast as this good person who tried to be good to him but died because the alternative is Gast wandered off the moment he wasn't as interesting anymore and left him (in JBSWM's timeline at around the age of 4) to try and survive it by himself. He's already lost this perfect idea of a mother by having the 'L' put there and all SOLDIERs having JENOVA on their files and he's kind of desperately clinging onto something good because he hasn't really thought about what a lot of it would look like to someone coming in now until Cloud started to ask about it and had enough first hand experience to know it was really messed up. He can justify it as Gast was the better scientist, the better man, the better influence for him but if you start taking that away, it puts him in the position of being victimised and abused and that's all there is and I don't think he knows how to even begin to process that. As @aimeelouart pointed out, if he thinks about it or talks about it with any perspective, he would have to acknowledge he is traumatised and a large part of his identity has been built on his own invincibility. How can he be traumatised if that’s so?

The flipside of it being that I don't think any of them understood fully in a conscious way what happened with Sephiroth’s childhood until they saw it up close and personal with Cloud and even if it's coming from Genesis (dude is loud), Angeal is also pissed off and furious that it's just as bad as they thought it might be but could never be sure because they've only ever seen the aftermath and he does not talk about it. Zack got it all in one, he heard about it and saw it and is trying to deal with that but for Genesis and Angeal, it's festered for a decade and since no one save for maybe Zack has ever met a single healthy coping mechanism, it goes out as Angeal being cautious and letting Sephiroth set his own pace and Genesis going no, this is important, you have to confront this because if it hurts them from just caring about him and realising how bad it was, if Sephiroth some day realises how awful it was, he's going to just...shatter or explode and they'll lose him and even if he struggles to express it sometimes, he does love him dearly and like with Cloud, he wants him to figure out what will make him happy and it doesn’t seem like he’ll feel happy until he can stop blocking out what he’s feeling on instinct as some leftover coping mechanism. Cloud having to deal with his own lab trauma just brings it to the forefront and Genesis is not wasting the opportunity.

The thing is I don't think he's wrong about it because I think Alien Demi-god Sephiroth and Sane Sephiroth are two sides of the exact same person. There's hints of it here and there, but I think one of the biggest ones is he's very possessive and it took Hojo crossing the line and almost killing Cloud when he was beginning to grow attached to him to get him to move out of his holding pattern. In a way, this can also be traced all the way back to Gast and the idea of his mother because it's this almost childlike view that when he's attached to someone, they leave and it hurts so the obvious answer is make it so they can't leave or in the case of canon, try to push them to come back. I genuinely do not think Jenova knew what they were getting themselves into with him because they were like 'hey I could be your mom' and got absolutely swallowed by someone who was hurting, desperate for connection and just So Fucking Done with all of it until his will overrode theirs and he was never, ever going to be alone again because the entire planet would be reborn as part of him. 

Not the direction I'm going with JBSWM, they have some things they need to work on with each other but they are together and leaving Shinra was as close to a statement of commitment as you can get. With Midgar behind them and a chunk of their identity and dreams left with it, trying to face those uncomfortable truths will be hard for everyone and as much as Genesis puts it out there, he’ll struggle with his own too because if they have to deal with their shit, so does he. 

#to say this got away from me is a gross understatement #i hope it makes a little sense #fic: just be still with me #fic related meta

[upinthestarsx3]

Off Limits (m) part 4

Professor!Reader x College Student!Jungkook au

Genre: short series|smut|mostly angst|fluff in future|au

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: Language and mature content. I guess I should also warn that I love writing stories with no happy endings.

Summary: You’re fresh out of college having just received your masters degree in Math. You begin working at a nearby college and meet your headstrong student, Jungkook. After a drunk hookup; things get complicated.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

‘Are you still not talking to me?’

‘Please don’t ignore me.’

‘Kookie.’

‘Are you going to report me?’

You throw your head down on the kitchen table in frustration, tossing the phone onto

your tiled floor and groaning like a child who was told they couldn’t have chocolate. Why was Jungkook still ignoring you?

You had canceled the rest of last week’s classes, claiming to feel ill when in reality... You couldn’t face Jungkook, not after that day at least.

“What’s wrong? Is your illegal relationship finally catching up to you?” You lift your head to give Gia a cut-eye look. Not this again... Not now.

“It’s not illegal. It’s just...” You trail off, your frown deepening as you take in Gia’s empty facial expression.

She stays quiet for a moment- you can tell she’s thinking of something.

“Look Gia-“ you begin,

“I think you should move out.” She cuts you off, her eyes casting downwards as they begin to water.

“W-What? You want me... to leave?”

“I tried to accept this y/n, I really tried. But every time I think about you two, I think of our freshman year of high school and I-“

“Gia...” you gasp, tears falling from your eyes as you dwell about the comparison she made.

“I am nothing like him!” Your voice booms through the house, the defensiveness in your tone is threatening, but Gia doesn’t budge.

“Really? Because it’s the exact situation.” She snaps back, veins bulging from her neck with her hands held in tight fists by her side.

“You were 14! Jungkook is-“

“YOUR STUDENT!” She explodes. You both stand there in silence, your tense shoulders finally relaxing as you realize this was not something you think could ever be fixed.

“I think I should go.” You whisper, your eyes unable to meet hers as you grab your work bag. You continue,

“I’ll pick up my things after my classes finish, is that okay?” She simply nods her head, turning away to leave the kitchen as she closes the door to her bedroom.

By the time you arrive on campus your makeup is ruined from the tears you were finally able to let out once you were out of the apartment- Gia’s apartment, the place that you called home for years. You pull out your makeup bag and begin doing your best to fix the mess that stares back at you in your reflection. Suddenly a loud knock at your window makes you jump.

“Jesus, Jungkook! You scared me!” You grunt, rubbing the area on your head that you hit on the roof of your car.

“All of those messages and you couldn’t even bother to tell me that you miss me?” He mumbles under his breath. His eyes staring deeply into yours, a look of admiration with a dash of anger.

“I’m sorry.”

“No you aren’t. You’re just worried that I’ll tell.” He rolls his eyes.

“Jungkook, I really don’t need this right now, okay?” His eyes soften when he hears the tremble in your voice. His hand slide their way into your opened window as he tilts your head upwards to get a closer look at you.

“Why were you crying?” He asks, wearing a small pout.

“I’m just stressed out.” You let out a sniffle, trying so hard to hold in tears; but when Jungkook softly rubs your cheek, you lean into his touch and let the tears flow freely. He slowly walks to the other side of your car and you feel it dip with his weight as he sits in the seat next to you.

“Come here.” He coos, pulling you into his arms as he places a hand on your back and the other on the back of your head, embracing you in a tight hug.

“Gia kicked me out.” You whined, wishing Jungkook didn’t have to see you ugly cry like this. You hear him sigh, but he says nothing, so you continue,

“She kicked me out and she thinks I’m some sort of pedophile. She’s comparing me to a man she dated in high school. He took advantage of her! I- I-“

“Shhh. It’s okay, baby.” Your breathing seemed to ease once you heard the nickname he loved calling you.

“So you’re not mad at me about what I said last week?”

“Well.. I’m hurt but I’m not angry. I’m sorry I expected so much this early on. Hey, um... You can stay with me for a bit? If you want?” He suggested.

You simply glared at him in return, “Yeah that would be great! ‘Hi Mr. Jeon! Thank you for letting me stay here, I am also fucking your son.’ Does that seem like a good idea to you?” You snap.

“I live alone, asshole.” He snarled while flashing a small smile.

“Oh. I didn’t know.” To say you felt like an ass was an understatement.

He smirks,“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Leaning in to kiss you, but you push at his chest.

“We’re on campus, Kookie.” You scold, grabbing your work bag from the back seat before getting out of your car with Jungkook following.

“Will you take me up on my offer?” He pushes further,

“I don’t know. I really have a lot to think about. I’ll see you at noon? In class?” You question.

“Sure, babe.” He replies smoothly, turning his back to you, and leaving you stranded with your dreadful thoughts.

Your classes surprisingly went by fairly quickly today, you quietly sat and ate your fruit salad while you waited for the last class of the day to start- your favorite class with your favorite student.

“Good morning, Professor. Hope your feeling better.” Jimin is the first to walk in, throwing you a wink after his comment. You bite back a comeback and give him a forced smile.

“I am, thanks.” You simply tell him.

“Where is Jungkook?” He asks again, and your eyes bulge out at him.

“How would I know? Actually, don’t answer that.”

He gives you a weird look but he stays quiet nonetheless, once he sees the other students begin flood in.

“Okay, everyone. It’s been a while! I’m feeling great, let’s get to work.” You smile.

As the class begins their assignment quietly, you hear Jungkook ask,

“Professor, can you help me with this problem please?” You roll your eyes and walk over to the side of his desk, only to see that he is already finished with the assignment.

“What do you need help with, Jungkook?”

“Number two, can you just look over it please?” You give him an odd look, but you lean in further and begin explaining the method anyway. A few seconds later you feel his hand slide to the back of your leg and then between your thighs. You swat his hand away and he simply lets out a deep chuckle,

“Thanks professor.” He yells to you as you march your way back to the front of the class.

“Okay, guys! Leave your assignment on my desk before you leave, I’ll post the homework online tonight!” You smile as they all begin leaving.

“Finally.” You let out a deep breath.

“Let’s go.” You hear a voice demand, your eyes snap open and you look up to Jungkook who is leaning over your chair.

“Go where, Jungkook?”

“What happened to Kookie?” He laughs.

“Go where?” You ask again, getting annoyed at his repetitive questions.

“Let’s go pick up your stuff from Gia’s.” He tugs on your hand and pulls you up from your chair.

“Oh. I forgot about that.” You try to let out a chuckle, but he could tell you were hurt.

“It’s okay. You’re okay, y/n. You don’t have to do this by yourself.” He whispers with a soothing voice that makes you feel a little bit better about the situation.

When you arrive, you see that Gia’s car is gone.

“Thank goodness, she should be at work by now.” You sighed.

You unlock the door to the apartment and see that your things are already packed. You feel your blood instantly boil.

“Is she fucking serious? She went through my room and packed all of my stuff herself?” You lash out. Jungkook looks as though he wants to say something but for once- he has nothing to say, he’s not sure what he could say in a situation like this; especially since he is in the middle of you and Gia’s falling out.

“I’m sorry.” He offers, you look at him and your eyes soften; you realize how awkward he must be feeling.

“Don’t be. Come on, let’s grab these boxes and go.”

You grab the last box from the counter and your eyes scan a note on the counter that read your name. You open it and see that it’s from Gia, you expected to see a goodbye, or an I love you, at least; but it read ‘please leave the keys on the table’. Jungkook takes the note from your hand and crumbles it, moving behind you to give you a hug,

“Let’s go home.” He whispers, leaving a small kiss on your neck.

When you arrive to Jungkook’s place; you’re shocked. He lives in a luxurious building with a doorman, with people that go to your apartment to clean your home, and there’s even a pool and a gym inside.

You wonder what he thought of when he went to your place- your old place, with the broken front door and old chipped paint in the hallway, no doorman either, but maybe a homeless man that would sleep on the porch from time to time.

“This is a lot.” You tell him shyly,

“In a good way?” He questions with a confused look.

“Oh yeah, it’s just, I’m not used to this fancy way of living.”

“Well, get used to it. I hope you’ll stay here with me for a while.” He gushed, opening the door to his apartment and showing you around. You followed like a lost puppy, consumed by the beauty of his place. You didn’t bother asking how he could afford it- especially knowing who is dad is.

“Hey, look.” He pulls you towards the bedroom,

“I made room in the closet, drawers and the bathroom for your stuff. I mean, it might be better if you unpack, right? If you want to, you don’t have to! I just figured-“ he’s rambling, you cut him off with a kiss.

“Thank you, Jungkook. But I really don’t want to intrude; and I don’t want to move too fast either. This won’t be permanent.” You admit. His shoulders drop a bit, but he nods his head anyway. You speak up again,

“I’m going to go in the shower, I’ll be out in a minute okay? Maybe I can cook something if you’re hungry?” You ask as you make your way to the bathroom.

Once you turn on the hot water- you get into the shower and slide down the marbled tiles until you’re on the floor, just sitting while the water washes over you. You can’t seem to stop all the racing thoughts that filled your head, so much has happened in such a short time. You weren’t used to change- you hated change! What were you doing? You’re naked in the bathroom of a man you’ll be teaching tomorrow afternoon.

You weren’t sure when your sobs became loud, or when your rigid breathing triggered a full blown panic attack. You couldn’t scream for help if you wanted to, it was as if your body wouldn’t allow it. But you didn’t need to; within seconds Jungkook climbed into the shower behind you, he was fully clothed but he didn’t care.

“I’m sorry.” You gasp, still panting and crying.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Come here.” He pulled you close to him, turning off the shower and throwing your towel over you while the two of you just lied there. He rubbed your back until the sobs finally stopped. There was so much you were confused about- but choosing to give Jungkook a chance was not one of them.

“You’re too good for me, Kookie.” You mumble.

“What? Nonsense. You’re perfect.”

“I have baggage. Too much of it. You deserve to be with someone younger and-“

“You’re 26, y/n.” He laughed, “Stop being dramatic.”

“But I feel 45!” You snapped back, the two of you filling the room with loud giggles as you toss around playful insults to one another.

“Okay, babe. You finish up here and I’ll order takeout.” He says, leaving a kiss on your damp forehead and jumping out of the shower as he groans about his wet clothes.

You leave the bathroom 15 minutes later feeling better than you felt the entire day.

“Are you okay?” You ask, Jungkook. Running your hands through his hair as he whines about his photography class.

“I’m not okay, actually.” He cries out dramatically before going on a rant, “I’m supposed to be capturing photos of things that I find meaningful, I’ve tried trees, flowers, places in my house- like aesthetics, you know? And I can’t get anything good. It’s a huge grade and not to sound cocky- but I’m a big deal in that class and I want to keep that standard.” He finally finishes, it takes you a few seconds to reply- you just stare at him adoringly. It was so refreshing that he was still that same know it all college kid that loved doing well.

“Well? What do you say?” You hear Jungkook

Speak up.

You smile at him, “What?”

“You’re meaningful to me.. Can I use you? No face, I promise.”

Your eyes widen a bit, “I don’t think so-“ You cut yourself off when you see his puppy face.

“Fine!” You belt. Taking off your robe to change into actual clothes.

“No! I mean, leave the robe on please. I have an idea.” He pleads.

You eye him for a moment, but you can’t seem to tell him no. He walks in front you, moving you to the bed to get you into position.

His fingers cup your cheek as he stares at you for a moment- he always does this, it made you feel loved, adored even. Something you haven’t felt in a while.

“Okay, do whatever feels comfortable.” He finally whispers. He moves around the bed, grabbing his camera and pointing it in your direction.

You slide off the robe and let it slip past your back, tilting your head slightly to ask,

“Is this okay?” You wonder, your back still facing him while he snaps photos.

“It’s perfect, baby.”

There was something so pure about this moment. It wasn’t sexy- it was art. The way he constantly positioned our body, turned your head in the direction he wanted it in, and how he praised you throughout the shoot, knowing how shy you must have felt.

You hear him place his camera on the desk as he crawls onto the bed behind you.

“You were great.” You just smile and lean your back into his chest. He slowly grabs your robe, pulling it off of your body so your bare.

He speaks up once more, “I adore you, you know that?” You nod your head and suck in a deep breath as he leaves kisses on your neck and shoulder. His hands travel to your breast as he rubs them, pinching your nipples as he gently nibbles on your ear. Suddenly he’s lifting you to the other side of the bed, resting you right on top of him so you’re sitting directly on his growing bulge. He throws your legs over his and spreads them, it’s not until then that you notice you’re in front of a mirror.

“Jungkook-“

“Shh.” One hand holding you down by your stomach and the other slowly rubbing your thighs as he begins grinding up against you.

“Jungkook.” You repeat, but it comes out as a gasp. He rests his head over your shoulder and looks into the mirror, holding your eye contact as he brings his fingers to your wet folds, sliding them up and down as you shake and squirm.

“Look at you. You are so sexy.” He moans, placing two fingers on your clit; rubbing it slowly, savoring the moment while he leaves love bites anywhere his mouth could reach. His moans get louder each time you grind against him.

“What do you want?”

“Finger me.” You tell him bluntly, his eyebrows lift up for a second,

“Will do.” He purred, slipping three fingers into you and pumping them in and out slowly.

Growing frustrated you groan, “Faster, Kookie.”

“Not until I see you see you rub your clit for me.” He watches your reflection as you reach down and begin touching yourself.

When he doesn’t move faster you beg, “Ugh. Faster, Kookie.” He nods and roughly shoves his fingers in and out of you and you continue to grind on him until he can’t take it anymore,

“Fuck it.” He pants, lifting you up to unbuckle his jeans and tugging them to his ankle, allowing you to finish pulling them off all the way. He settles you back on him so that his cock is rubbing against your pussy. You place your hand over his throbbing tip to put more friction on your clit, skillfully rubbing yourself onto him.

“Does that feel okay?” You ask him, he moans even louder and that was a sign of approval to you.

He moves until he’s lined up with your entrance- he doesn’t slide in just yet, he just continues circling the area.

“May I?”

“You may.” And with that he slams into you, you inhale a deep breath and start moving with him, turning your head towards his to kiss him.

“So good, baby. Keep riding my cock.” He continues to praise you. This goes on for a while and you can feel your legs begin to give you. He swiftly flips the two of you so that you’re down on all four with an arched back as he slides back into your heat. His hands stay on your hips, moving to your back from time to time to push it back down each time you tried to lift it.

“F-fuck.” You moan loudly, moving away when the pleasure became too much, but he pulled you back each time.

“Don’t run. Take it.” He demands, grabbing a fist full of your hair and going impossibly faster.

“I’m gonna cum. I-fuck, I’m cumming.” You yelp loudly and it’s the only sound in the room aside from your heavy breathing and the loud clapping from Jungkook fucking you.

He wraps his arms around you, placing the upper half of his body on your back while he continues to hump you, and you can tell that he’s cumming too.

“Oh my God.” You chuckle, still winded as you and Jungkook lie back on the bed after cleaning each other up.

It’s quiet for a while; the two of you just enjoying each other’s company before he conversed,

“You know, I think I- actually, never mind.”

“No, no, no. You already started, now you have to finish!” You hissed.

He let out a laugh and pulled you so that you were lying on his chest,

“Fine. I was going to say that you, um, you make me really happy. And I know that you probably don’t feel as strongly for me as I do for you but I feel like I could picture us getting serious.”

You think for a moment about how exactly you should respond, “I feel the same way, Kookie; and that’s what scares me.” You feel him stiffen a bit at your confession,

“Scare you how?”

“Scare me as in I don’t want to lose everything I’ve worked so hard for.”

“How about we skip the ‘I won’t risk anything for you’ talk, okay?” He cautioned.

“Jungkook, be quiet. What I meant to say, was that I really like you- and I know it won’t end well. What happened with Gia was a warning.” Before he can reply, you both hear the door bell ring,

“About fucking time! Our food is here.” He cheers, looking for his pants before he answers the door,

You push him back on the bed with a laugh and tell him, “I’ll get it, don’t worry.”

You walk to the door, and when you open it there is a middle age woman standing there with no food in either hand.

“Are you the delivery driver?” You question.

She creases her eyebrows as she steps back to take another look at the apartment number on the door,

“Oh sorry, I guess I have the wrong door, I was looking for my son.”

Just then, Jungkook emerges from the room,

“Was it the food, babe?” He asks from behind you before his eyes widen and he continues,

“Mom?”

A/N: I suck at updating. To those that are reading, thanks for being patient.

Part 5 | Part 6

#BTS smut #BTS #BTS angst #BTS fluff #BTS au #Jungkook #Jungkook x reader #Jungkook x you #noonanet #Jungkook smut #Jungkook fluff #Jungkook au #BTS jungkook

[newyorktheater]

The Broadway composer Richard Rodgers found four things invariably gratifying: “eating, a warm bath, making love and having a successful show.”

But how gratifying is it to read about successful shows – or the people who’ve created them?

That’s the question that lingers over two recently published Broadway biographies — Something Wonderful: Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Broadway Revolution  (Henry Holt, 2018, 386 pages) by Todd S. Purdum and Renaissance Man: The Lin-Manuel Miranda Story An Unauthorized Biography (Riverdale Avenue Books, 2018, 184 pages) by Marc Shapiro Both are about people who created Broadway musicals that became cultural phenomena. But they differ so radically in quality it’s almost an offense to consider them together.

Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein

South Pacific, 1949. Ezio Pinza an Mary Martin

Carousel (1945 – 1947 Broadway) Music by Richard Rodgers; Book and Lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II Directed by Rouben Mamoulian Shown from left: Jan Clayton, John Raitt

The King and I 1951. Gertrude Lawrence and Yul Brynner.

Oklahoma! (1955) Directed by Fred Zinnemann Shown from left: Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones, Charlotte Greenwood

Sound of Music (1959-1963, Broadway) Music by Richard Rogers, Lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein, Book by Howard Lindsay & Russel Crouse Directed by Vincent J. Donehue Shown from left: (top) Mary Martin, Joseph Stewart, Kathy Dunn, William Snowden, Lauri Peters; (front) Marilyn Rogers, Evanna Lien, Mary Susan Locke

from left to right: Richard Rodgers, Dorothy Hammerstein, Dorothy Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein. Both their wives were named Dorothy, and both were interior decorators.

Composer Richard Rodgers and lyricist/librettist Oscar Hammerstein II together wrote some half dozen musicals between 1943 and 1959 that were the most popular Broadway shows of their time. The songs from these musicals remain among the most beloved and familiar of any that have ever been sung on Broadway. Todd Purdum, a former White House correspondent for the New York Times and current writer for Politico, devotes a chapter to each of these shows – Oklahoma, Carousel, South Pacific, The King and I, The Sound of Music. We learn where the ideas came from; how Hammerstein figured out the right lyrics (Rodgers’ process was more mysterious and often instantaneous), how the initial productions came together, how the public and the critics reacted. But the author spends almost as much time on some of the movie adaptations of these hits, and on the Rodgers and Hammerstein shows that weren’t hits – Allegro, Me and Juliet, Pipe Dream, Flower Drum Song. And the first two of the book’s 11 chapters are taken up with the individual careers of the two men before they started collaborating with each other. Both had successful partnerships with other theater artists – Oscar Hammerstein with composer Jerome Kern, most notably on Show Boat; Rodgers with lyricist Larry Hart, whose 28 stage musicals together included Pal Joey and On Your Toes. And then there are the shows Purdum writes about that Rodgers and Hammerstein produced but didn’t write, most notably “Annie Get Your Gun,” which they lured Irving Berlin into scoring. And the author also goes into some depth about the projects that each man undertook separately in-between their collaborations, such as “Carmen Jones,” Hammerstein’s adaptation of Bizet’s opera “Carmen” transposed to the American South with an all African-American cast. (A revival of ‘Carmen Jones” is opening this month at the Classic Stage Company) All of this information is well researched and competently written. There are plenty of memorable tidbits. The night after “Oklahoma!” opened, we’re told, the house sold out for the next four years. During “The Sound of Music,” lead actress and investor Mary Martin had befriended a theater-loving nun, who became an advisor on the show. Among Sister Gregory’s advice: “ Please don’t have the nuns giggle. Chuckle, laugh— and even explode with laughter, but not giggle.” Yet after a while, with so much covered in its 320 pages of text, “Something Wonderful” (the title is taken from a song in “The King and I”) feels more like “Many Wonderful Things,” and occasionally even “Too Many Wonderful Things.” One begins to wonder: What’s the point of this book? And also: Why now? Rodgers died in 1979, Hammerstein in 1960. (There’s an entire chapter on what Rodgers did in the years after Hammerstein died; and more details about each of their end-of-life illnesses than I was eager to learn.) Certainly I can be excused for assuming that the book would take advantage of the passage of time to offer fresh critical perspectives. But any critical evaluations are perfunctory – largely brief excerpts from contemporary reviews. The author does offer a line or two of analysis here and there: “If Oklahoma! had satisfied wartime America’s longing for a simpler time and Carousel had tapped into the returning servicemen’s familiarity with death, South Pacific offered a dramatization of a conflict that was still visceral for millions.” But that doesn’t explain why the shows are still popular. A brief section in the Epilogue makes the current case for Rodgers and Hammerstein shows as if they’re under attack, but, again, by briefly quoting critics. Instead of critical insights, Purdum opts for a compact historical overview of two impossibly fruitful careers. We learn that during his lifetime Rodgers had written the music for some 900 songs, and Hammerstein had written the lyrics for 1,589. (The 1,589th was Edelweiss from The Sound of Music. By the end of “Something Wonderful” I can’t claim to have gotten a firm handle on either theater artist – not what made them great, nor even a vivid sense of what they were like as individuals. It is hard to blame the author for this. Mary Rodgers, Richard’s daughter and an accomplished composer in her own right, is quoted as saying: “I don’t think anybody ever knew who he really was, with the possible exception of one of the five psychiatrists he went to.” Stephen Sondheim (Hammerstein’s protégée and Rodgers one-time, unhappy collaborator) is reduced to a kind of unhelpful Zen description of the two: Hammerstein as a man of limited talent but infinite soul, and Rodgers as a man of infinite talent but limited soul. Still, “Something Wonderful” is a reasonably good read about two theater artists whose work remains familiar and beloved 75 years after they first started collaborating.

“The Sound of Music” was one of the many original Broadway cast albums lying around in the Miranda household when Lin-Manuel was growing up in Inwood, we learn in “Renaissance Man: The Lin-Manuel Miranda Story.” Hunter College Elementary School put on Oklahoma when Miranda was in the fourth grade. His senior thesis at Wesleyan was an analysis of the lyrics of Alan Lerner, Stephen Sondheim…and Oscar Hammerstein. So, yes, Rodgers and Hammerstein were among Lin-Manuel’s many influences in an eclectic cultural upbringing that featured, among many other things – as Renaissance Man reminds us — his parents’ many original cast albums, a school bus driver who loved rap, early exposure to Disney animated films, a household full of Puerto Rican culture, schooling that emphasized the arts, especially theater. “Renaissance Man” by Marc Shapiro (who specializes in “unauthorized” celebrity biographies)  is a cut-and-paste job, splicing together facts and quotes gathered from newspaper articles and blog posts and podcasts and speeches. This alone wouldn’t necessarily be reason to condemn it. As with “Something Wonderful,” there should be some appeal in revisiting Lin-Manuel Miranda’s extraordinary story, even though it is by this point so thoroughly familiar – how he created “In The Heights” starting when he was a sophomore at Wesleyan; followed by the six year journey to create “Hamilton.” We can even appreciate being reminded of some of Miranda’s other activities as writer and rapper and actor – his improvisational rap group Freestyle Love Supreme, his work on other Broadway shows (co-composing Bring It On The Musical; writing the Spanish translations for a West Side Story revival) the his songwriting for the animated Disney film Moana and a Star Wars movie; his appearance as himself in Fatwa: The Musical in Curb Your Enthusiasm, his forthcoming role in the movie Mary Poppins Returns All of this is mentioned in “Renaissance Man: The Lin-Manuel Miranda Story,” but we don’t wind up caring. The book could hardly be a worse read. It’s poorly written, cliché-ridden, and so full of typos and obvious errors that one wonders what else the author got wrong. (It’s the Outer Critics Circle Awards, not The Outer City Circle Awards. It’s the Eugene O’Neill Theater Center. Miranda’s friend Chris Hayes is sometimes spelled Chris Harris; Hamilton performer Daveed Diggs is sometimes referred to as David.) Marc Shapiro uses the word “literal” or “literally” incorrectly so many times (“Miranda was a literal babe in the woods”…”Miranda was literally over the moon…”) that I stopped counting. There is no intelligent or even cogent insight into Miranda or his shows, and virtually no original reporting. The only apparent interview the author conducted was with one Irv Steinfink, Miranda’s 11th grade Social Studies teacher, said he assigned him to do a report on the Hamilton-Burr duel “It was a good paper. He got an A on it. As I think about it now, it may have actually been an A plus.” There are so many hilariously awkward sentences and extended forays into incoherence that I briefly wondered whether Renaissance Man was secretly a spoof. Here is a typical paragraph, which purports to explain the reason for the book: “That Lin-Manuel Miranda has emerged as the pop composer/literal renaissance man of his time was the logical reason to profile his life. Hamilton is on everybody’s lips and so, in the immortal words of the publishing bard, strike while the iron is hot became the order of the day. But it soon became something a bit more than cashing in on the latest big thing.” Actually, “Renaissance Man: The Lin-Manuel Story” is never anything more than an attempt to cash in on the latest big thing.

New Broadway Biographies: Lin-Manuel Miranda, Rodgers and Hammerstein The Broadway composer Richard Rodgers found four things invariably gratifying: “eating, a warm bath, making love and having a successful show.”

[larrykrakow]

Censorship: When Is It Warranted And Why?

New Post has been published on https://theprogressivemind.org/censorship-when-is-it-warranted-and-why/

Censorship: When Is It Warranted And Why?

Censorship was a big subject in George Orwell’s book, “1984”. At times, I feel like we are living in that kind of an era again. Was George Orwell giving us a warning about what would happen to us as our world began to become more connected?

I tend to err on the side of free speech.

When has the government crossed the line? Censorship is perhaps the most egregious violation of our founding principles.

Unfortunately, people in power don’t care about free speech. They trample all over our rights as a way to maintain control. The only problem that they have is that there are people like me. I speak up when my rights are taken away. Sadly, I am just one guy, so if you are reading this, I am depending upon you to share this information. Tell people what your government is doing to YOU. Do not let them be the arbiters of what can and cannot be said. It is that simple. That is why the First Amendment of our Constitution does not give any stipulation where free speech is not protected. Sure, you cannot yell “fire” in a crowded movie theater, but you get what I am saying.

First, I want to give you a back story to this. I will keep it short, because you may be reading this on your lunch break. After all, a half hour is not enough to digest an in depth piece about something as complex as this.

Censorship is the subject, but what is the excuse?

I never liked Donald Trump, but I felt that his time would pass and Americans would become wise to the con job he was performing on those that fell for his BS. My job as a butcher in Stewart Manor is just outside of the New York City limits. I started feeling symptoms of Covid19 on the 12th of March. It was mostly body aches. Not thinking much of it, believing it was just fatigue from working, I went shopping after work for some odds and ends.  I made it home that evening quite sore. My wife felt my head and knew I had a temperature. Covid19 was just starting to explode in New York and now I was sure that I was the next victim.

If we have not learned anything in our history, the one thing we should cherish is free speech. That allows us to call out our leadership for their handling of Covid19 and other crises. We live in tough times and having a right to speak up is our only way to insure that changes come.

That day would be my last day at work for five weeks. For the first two, I was very sick and the following three, recovering from 20 pounds of weight loss and weakness.

During the worst of it all, I had passed out in my bathroom and was unconscious for about a minute as my wife was yelling out my name. When I looked up, she had thought my eyes were turning grey as they often do as a person is dying. I came to and made it back to bed. That day was my wife’s birthday.

She spent two weeks putting a cold compress on me around the clock and trying really hard to keep me eating and drinking fluids. I did not even have the ability to move out of the bed for about three days straight during the worst of my illness.

Eventually, all started to turn for the better and I was getting ready to start to speak.

As I started to recover and get back to eating, I made a decision. Knowing that this pandemic could have been handled much better by the system, by our government and mostly, by the fascist himself, Donald Trump, I decided that I would have to write about my experience. I launched this blog with my first piece on April 16th. It was a trying time for me and I had a lot of resentment for the system that runs our country. My wife and I could not receive any support from the outside world other than moral support. We were on our own as if we had been abandoned. This blog fast became my outlet for my anger at a system that left all of us behind long before the virus ever came to our shores.

I am fairly certain that most of you who are reading this blog understand why the working class struggles in many ways. Covid19 hit the working class the hardest.  Our values are shot down by establishment members of both parties. Our wages, healthcare and equal pay for equal work are often under attack. Covid19 put me out of work for five weeks. I did not receive one penny of sick pay or any way to recover lost time. Thankfully, I have a wife who does very well, so we made it through this bad stretch without any financial problems.

Fast forwarding a few weeks, I was thumbing through Twitter, one of the organizations who would soon censor content.

I looked through my recommendations of people to follow and I followed an account named Peace Data. While viewing their profile, I clicked on their website link and saw articles about war crimes and human rights violations. I sent them a message telling them how good it was to see fellow writers challenging the system followed by a link to my blog. They reached out back to me and suggested that I start submitting content through their website. The communications were on and my first articles started going up. The first one that I submitted to them was called “The Military Industrial Complex  and The Working Class” followed by a piece outlining the environmental problems brought on by capitalism.

My pieces with this website, called Peace Data were often more in depth than what I would say on my blog. I felt that my blog was a place to be agitational and that Peace Data was trying to establish themselves as a quality place for independent media. I knew that they were foreign, saying that they were based in Germany. They were happy with the work I was sending them and about once every week, I would send another article for them to publish.

My portfolio of free speech kept on expanding through the pandemic.

By the time that the summer had arrived, I had almost a half a dozen pieces published on Peace Data. My blog was suffering a little bit as I took time to submit to them. I was ok with that as my word was spreading to more places on the Internet. It was refreshing that I was able to speak to someone from another part of the world who was able to understand in the moment what was going wrong with America.

FBI Director, Cristopher Wray laid the groundwork for First Amendment violations by establishing the Foreign Intelligence Task Force

I kept on communicating and submitting pieces.

Most of them were critical of the Trump administration, because he was in charge and failing us.

There was an occasional piece on the website ripping Biden and Harris, but it was not exactly hitting them hard. Most of the criticism on the site was about war and capitalism.

As the end of the summer neared, life took over a bit and writing took a back seat to spending time with my wife. Between work and time with my wife, I had little time to write. In addition to writing, I am currently studying to teach English as a second language as a fall back option when my body gives out and I can no longer do physical work. As I got back into writing and building my presence online,

I faced censorship.

Well, not me personally, but Peace Data was. At first, I did not know what to expect. Censorship was going to become a central theme in my life, even though I was not the owner of Peace Data. Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn all deleted profiles and posts related to Peace Data. Every post that I made of an article on Peace Data had been removed by Facebook. They went after my content, even though they did not go after me. The censorship started from the FBI and went through social media and then the mainstream media and finally towards more independent media.

My wife paid attention to my emails for me while I was working, because she kept on top of things for me while writing for Peace Data. She was proud to see me, a working class man, building something in my life towards a less physically demanding path. That said, I started receiving messages on LinkedIn from news outlets. My wife would let me know about these during the day and I would handle them that night, once I was at home.

The FBI told the social media world to censor Peace Data.

As a rule of thumb, our government is not supposed to question free speech. So why did this happen here? What warranted this form of censorship? Is it ok for the federal government to just say that something online is divisive? When did the government get the power to come after free speech from overseas? Even worse, why are the major social networks going along with this? I personally believe that the next step was even worse. The mainstream media reported about this matter in a very irresponsible and amateur way. It is sad that as a butcher, a member of the working class and a college dropout that I can recognize lousy journalism.

CNN and Reuters were the first outlets to contact me. They wanted to have me give them all of the email addresses from PayPal senders compensating me for my work on Peace Data. The mainstream outlets did not want to hear about my story or my content. They all ran with the narrative that this site was a website designed to divide the left and hurt Joe Biden. There was absolutely no evidence that this was the case, yet they ran with it anyway.

CNN and other major outlets supported the mind controlling censoring of a small operation.

Even if they had evidence, they did not want to share it with me. In fact, they relied on a private intelligence firm to piece together forensics that identified the people at Peace Data as fake people who in reality did not exist.

My counter argument to that one is that if someone wants to say something that challenges power in a way that is dangerous to themselves, isn’t it safer to stay anonymous? After all, much of the content on the website, including writing of my own went after the military industrial complex which makes many people insanely wealthy while destroying the lives of millions of people around the world.

When major news outlets trot out a breaking news story, they often do not look at the circumstances surrounding the story. They put out the sensational story and hope that their prime audience will keep their butts molded to their reclining chairs and their eyes on their screens.

In this case, a CNN reporter reached out to me to communicate. He already had intended to run out with the story that he was told was the truth. I do not believe that he really investigated all angles of this story. He only wanted information about how I was paid for the articles that I had submitted. He never asked me one thing about my experience.

The same thing can be said about reporters from other mainstream media outlets. The Wall Street Journal, Reuters, CNN, NBC News and the New York Times all pushed out the same narrative.

This was a Russian trolling operation so the FBI deemed that it should be censored.

Why was this the case? The content didn’t match any of the claims made in the CNN reporter’s reporting. In fact, he stated that…

Intelligence officials told Congress earlier this summer that Russia was spreading false information about Biden. – CNN article.

The content on Peace Data did not show up as anything that would turn progressive voters against Biden. In fact, the fight between the factions of the Democratic party had already existed since long before Hillary Clinton ran for President. The FBI played up misinformation from Russia as an excuse to tell the social media outlets to shut down everything associated with Peace Data. In fact, in 2017, the FBI laid the groundwork to go after free speech.

They established what is called the Foreign Influence Task Force.

The main goal of this office is to go after free speech that challenges a narrative. I will remind you about the text of the First Amendment of our Constitution.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

This is absolute. There is absolutely NO challenging this fact. The only reason that nobody has challenged this is that the narrative about Russian interference has been played. Most people who find an attack on free speech to be way BEYOND the pale. It offends most of us, including some of Donald Trump’s supporters.

In other words, the FBI can say that any foreign outlet who is critical of American foreign policy can be labeled by the FBI as a foreign influencer thus leading to social media outlets shutting down their pages, links and accounts of members associated with such organization. This means that people who want to expose war crimes around the world committed in OUR name run the risk of being shut up.

This is NOT a supporting piece favoring Russia, but it IS a piece favoring the right to speech, full stop.

So what did CNN want to report about? They and other mainstream outlets wanted to run with a story about Russian interference in our elections. Did they actually show any content that was damaging to Joe Biden as they stated Peace Data published? Did any other reporters? They did not, but they made that claim that they did. I will eat my words if they produce screenshots from Peace Data showing that other than one article soon after Biden announced his VP pick, Kamala Harris. I can recall only one article critical of the Biden/Harris ticket yet I can say that I saw many anti-Trump articles.

Is this an excuse to go after our freedom of speech? After all, speech is the one tool that people have to challenge power. I was fortunate enough to have conversations with reporters from three news outlets that decided that it was important to look further into the story instead of running with sensationalism. The first one was Jacob Silverman from Slate. He wrote ax excellent piece that explained different angles of this situation. https://slate.com/technology/2020/09/peace-data-russia-disinformation-facebook.html

I then spoke with a couple of reporters from ProPublica who weren’t convinced that this was a story that they were interested in pursuing.

A few days later, I had a meeting on Zoom with Jen Kirby, Foreign and National Security Reporter for VOX. We had a great conversation with a lot of hypotheticals and the philosophical angle to this story. Sure, her angle was supposed to be centered around national security which is ultimately was, but she gave credence to the idea that speech ought to be protected by sharing my views in her article. As seen in her article, the problem with the challenge is not that it was Russia creating the so called disinformation.

Kirby told her readers that MY opinion is that free speech is protected and the danger associated with leaving the power to regulate speech in the state. That shows that her mind was open to seeing the whole picture instead of what the mainstream media pushes out.  You can read her article here. —> https://www.vox.com/2020/9/21/21401149/russia-2020-election-meddling-trump-biden

So how was censorship used by the FBI?

That one is simple. Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn are some of the most powerful business entities in the world. They cooperate with the most powerful government in the world as well. Originally, social media was meant to be a way for people to share anything and everything, a neutral bulletin board. Over the years, it evolved into a mesh of political ideologies challenging, bickering and in some cases, serving as an echo chamber for people of certain political leanings.

Many of your conspiracy theories that bounce around the web originate in a corner of the web. It is the right of individuals to spread false news. It is the right of the victim of fake news to sue for slander if they can trace the origins of the conspiracy. In fact, most of the conspiracies known today originate right here in America. Q’Anon started in America as we know and Alex Jones rambles all day long about conspiracies.

So why was a website with legitimate content targeted? One may never know. Perhaps there were things that were serious red flags, but did anyone from Peace Data commit a crime against America? I believe that the First Amendment vindicates them as they have a right to post whatever content online that they wish. Were they wrong to publish things that they published in some cases? Yes, probably so, but when does the FBI get to call out that speech when the Constitution is explicit about their lack of a right to take away speech.

One can argue that Facebook and Twitter are private companies with a right to censor.

I have been openly threatened with violence on Facebook. I have reported those comments to Facebook and their answer was that it did not violate any community standards. So, are articles critical of American foreign policy meddling? Is it meddling if someone in another country says something online like “I hope Trump loses and get thrown in jail for his crimes?” I can say it in America. It is MY right, but why isn’t it a right of someone else in another country, even if linked to a foreign government?

So if Facebook and the other social media giants out there resort to censorship on direction from the FBI, then is the FBI guilty of that censorship? One might argue that in a court room. I believe somebody should. Censorship of hate speech is one thing, if it is on social media and the private social media company pulls down the content for violations of their standards. On the other hand, if the FBI or any other federal agency does, it is an action taken to limit freedom of speech in violation of the First Amendment. 

Where do I go from here? We are headed into potentially dangerous times with a dangerous President in power and a stacked judiciary that does not care about the rule of law. The focus on what is called a 200 follower trolling outfit is a huge misuse of resources in our government, but it is also an effective way to stifle dissent.

If this emerges as a pattern and websites with opinion content start to show up and get taken down, our government has set a dangerous precedent. 

I want to invite you to fight against the power to censor content as much as possible.

We are all in this together. Sure, there is a lot of noise out there on the Internet. Conspiracy theories are everywhere. Jacob Silverman and Jen Kirby are both on your side in their reporting. They want you to get the facts and stay informed. They also have integrity and do not wish to push out a story like the broken mainstream media. The biggest media outlets have a strategy to keep you engaged so that their advertisers have as many eyes on their commercials as possible. The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal want you to thumb past full page ads. Major online outlets want you to go to their site and follow their clickbait.

Ultimately, all three forces, the government, social media and mainstream media all work together in many ways. It is the reason why you often hear millionaires tell you about what the problems are in the country through the lens of a billionaire. It is the reason why we need checks and balances to protect OUR freedoms. Speech is your only way that YOU can put a check on power. If your government is doing something that you do not like, you MUST speak up. You cannot allow the government to shut down content in any way without sharing the facts to you.

With that said, I ask the FBI to produce those facts to me. If they don’t, then Christopher Wray, a Trump appointee at the FBI is responsible for taking away my right, even if the place that I speak is considered by some to be a Russian troll farm. If I am in the dark on that, so be it, one should prove it. That includes the FBI, social media admins AND the mainstream media. Harm is done when voices are silenced without attention to facts.

You have a right to live a life free of censorship.

Finally, I might make another point. The way that you consume media is an important factor in shaping the direction of your country. If you stick to the corporate mainstream media as a way to get your information, I can promise you, the information that you will receive will be presented in a way that benefits the corporations. You can boost their ratings and thus boost their revenue, but that will not help you. If you go to a much more independent news source that goes in depth and breaks things down honestly like Kirby and like Silverman, you can rest assured that you found reliable information.

#censorship #first amendment #foreign influence task force #free speech

[mrsalenko]

#long post is long aka shepard is a horrible and awesome mom #texty #shenko baby headcanons ok these are my forever canon ones #i just don't talk about them because they're so detailed and grossly make me happy

[ianmkeenan]

Durban Berry

Information about Durban Berry:

Effects

Fragrance

Flavors

Adverse reactions

Medical

Growing

Flowering time

The exotic flavors of Durban Berry are enough to entice users to try out the bud. It explodes with the delicious citric taste of lemons blended with sweet berries. However, its potent smoke and impressive psychedelic effects is what turns curious enthusiasts into long-term fans.

To create the standout hybrid, its breeder took the uplifting Sativa effects of Durban Poison and paired it the physically relaxing Rocky Mountain Blueberry. Both have fruit-flavored terpene profiles that truly shines through in its offspring.

With an average of 21% THC, Durban Berry’s recreational potential is uncontested. It is also the same chemical compound that shines a light upon the well-balanced herb’s medical potential as a mental and physical reprieve for a variety of afflictions.

Information about Durban Berry:

ORIGINDurban Poison and Rocky Mountain BlueberryEFFECTSRelaxed - 10 Happy - 8 Focused - 8 Uplifted - 6 Creative - 6ADVERSE REACTIONS (NEGATIVE)Dry eyes - 10 Dry mouth - 2FRAGRANCEPungent, fruity, berry, citrus, sweetFLAVORSCitric, tangy, lemon, berry, sweetMEDICALStress – 10 Depression - 9 Nausea - 8 Fatigue - 8 Headaches - 8FLOWERING TIME INDOORS8 to 10 weeksFLOWERING TIME OUTDOORSMid to late OctoberTHC CONTENT %21%INDICA / SATIVA %50%/50%INDOOR YIELD12 to 14 ounces per square meterOUTDOOR YIELD14 ounces or more per plantCLIMATEWarm climate

* 10 is the highest * 1 is the lowest

Effects

Durban Berry’s uplifting psychedelic effects begins after the first two to three puffs. It is immediately noticeable behaviorally. Users smile from ear to ear with a happiness that can only come from within.

TIP: Looking to buy Durban Berry seeds? Check out this marijuana seed shop

For those with deadlines to beat, the upbeat disposition contributes to a change of pace in the workplace. It promotes mental clarity so thoughts flow and form freely in a surge of creativity. And, along with a renewed sense of motivation, users focus on tasks for longer periods of time without tiring.

Durban Berry Effects - Image powered by Weedy.com

Gradually, the same mood enhancing buzz trickles down from the temples in waves. Soothing and calming, it relaxes each muscle as a heaviness sets in the limbs. Most likely, users will feel the body totally at ease from tension. Because of its lack of sedative qualities, Durban Berry makes for a daytime smoke.

Fragrance

Durban Berry is a pungent strain that, even from its airtight container, its scent lingers. Opening it releases a fruity aroma with strong overtones of berries and citrus. Broken apart or combusted, a subtle sweetness intensifies.

Flavors

Durban Berry tastes immensely citric and tangy. Its overtones of lemons, with undertones of berries, are immediately noticeable once the smoke is savored. On the exhale, it leaves a sweet aftertaste that lingers in the mouth even after the last hit.

Adverse Reaction

Marijuana has moisture-inhibiting properties that interfere with the production of saliva. As such, users usually experience a cottonmouth while using Durban Berry. The eyes may also redden due to dryness. Neither are usually a cause for concern but, if symptoms persist, users may down a few glasses of water to stay hydrated.

Durban Berry Adverse Reaction - Image powered by Medicaljane.com

Medical

More than a third of enthusiasts cite stress relief as the top reason for using marijuana. To this end, Durban Berry works perfectly. Through its THC and CBD, as well as cannabinoids like terpenes, provides a reprieve against various mental and physical ailments.

TIP: Looking to buy Durban Berry seeds? Check out this marijuana seed shop

It relieves the mind of worry and dread, which are often common symptoms of stress and certain mental illnesses such as depression or PTSD. For this reason, the well-balanced bud is a great anti-depressant.

Durban Berry Medical - Image powered by Allbud.com

THC, in high doses, turns into a natural painkiller. It soothes the body of aches beginning from the temples and totally reinvigorates users from fatigue. At the same time, it relaxes the stomach to keep patients from vomiting through its antiemetic properties.

Growing

As a well-balanced strain, Durban Berry exhibits qualities from both its Indica and Sativa genes. Its structure, for example, is tall but far from lanky. Both its stalks and branches can withstand strong gusts of wind. It may not be immune to pests though. It is for this reason that many growers prefer cultivating the bud indoors.

This is not to say Durban Berry does not perform well in farms and gardens. In fact, it produces higher yields and tastier buds. However, controllable factors provide a safer environment for the plant. Moreover, aspiring growers can always use soil for mediums to bring out its full flavors.

Methods like bending and early topping keep it short for those with truly limited spaces. Meanwhile, applying either the Sea or Screen of Green will also help it reach its full potential. Growers may want to invest in carbon filters that help manage the plant’s odor.

Once mature, Durban Berry produces fluffy buds with a bright green color. It takes on a Sativa shape, stretching out on each side. Lastly, trichomes give the nug a frosted look.

Flowering Time

Indoors Durban Berry has an indoor flowering period of 8 to 10 weeks with each square meter producing between 12 to 14 ounces of buds.

Outdoors Garden grown Durban Berry has flowers in October, from the second to the last week. Once ready for harvest, it yields at least 14 ounces of buds per plant. However, under the expert care of a seasoned grower, it can produce even more.

Have you ever smoked or grown your own Durban Berry? Please let me know what you think about this marijuana strain in the comments below.

Robert

The post Durban Berry appeared first on I Love Growing Marijuana.

[cliff-seeger-blog]

Diane Arbus: The Empathy of Art

When I first became interested in photography, Diane Arbus was already an artist that I had admired. During my first couple years of high school I became interested in films and filmmaking. I didn’t really know how to learn about films at that age so I just watched as many films as I could. One of films was Manhattan by Woody Allen. There’s a scene in which he, Diane Keaton, and their respective dates are at an art gallery and are talking about a photography gallery that is downstairs. Keaton’s character Mary remarks that the whole gallery “was all derivative of Diane Arbus without any of the wit.” I obviously didn’t know what that meant at the time, so I paused the movie to see who this Arbus was. I instantly knew what she was talking about; it just clicked. The name has stayed with me for years and I imagine it will stay there.

Diane Arbus came from reasonably comfortable roots. She was born in 1923 to a Jewish couple that owned a successful department store, “Russek’s”, in New York City. This made her somewhat sequestered of the effects on America during The Great Depression of the 1930s. By the time she was 18, she married her childhood sweetheart, Allan Arbus. They both had interest in photographers and photography and began a photography business in Manhattan in 1946, often being employed to take photos of the store and products of “Russek’s”, Diane’s father’s department store. Arbus worked as a commercial photographer until 1956, and although her commercial work is certainly notable, it isn’t quite what she was remembered for and why she has such a legacy of both fame and infamy. After her commercial work, she started to go on more personal endeavors into photography. She was most known for taking photographs of less than exposed, undermined, unrepresented, or underappreciated members of America, and even just humanity. People like dwarves, midgets, transvestites, strippers, nudists, etc. However, to simply label her as a photographer of just “freaks” would be a disservice to her. Above all else she was a humanist photographer. Taking photos not only of the people but of human emotions and feelings in things that weren’t of the people themselves. She would be very intimate with her subjects, really getting to know them, often times revisiting them after years to take their photos again. She would go into their homes and capture them in their living rooms or on their beds, or perhaps at their jobs. She would even strip naked with the nudists when she photographed them. Arbus was able to capture true empathy in the camera because she had true empathy without it. Her first major exhibition that gave her a lot of recognition was an exhibit called “New Documents”. It was an exhibit in the Museum of Modern Art that was, as described by John Szarkowski, curator for MoMA, “a new generation of documentary photographers”. It showcased the works of Lee Friedlander, Garry Winogrand, and of course Diane Arbus. The exhibit was described as “photography that emphasized the pathos and conflicts of modern life presented without editorializing or sentimentalizing but with a critical, observant eye.” However, Arbus faced many depressive episodes and took her own life by ingesting barbiturates and slashing her wrists on July 26th, 1971. The collection of her work she still owned was inherited by her eldest daughter, Doon, which she put on display in Venice Biennale and then later as a posthumous retrospective at MoMA, slightly over a year after Arbus’ death.

Arbus’ body of work is probably more influential to me than that of any singular photographer or artist that I admire. Not only is it bold but above all else it’s respectful and it’s empathetic. She doesn’t hold a candle up to these people as if to say “look at them and laugh”, but as if to say “here we are”. There isn’t a drop of ill intent in her work and that is what documentary work is all about: documenting the world as it is without an agenda. Most of her photos are square, which is due to her taking photos with a Rolleiflex or Mamiya C33 at waist level. The square format is really interesting since it eliminates the concepts of landscapes or verticals. It is as freeing a format as it is limiting when all four borders of your frame are equidistant. Aesthetically speaking, her photos are as brash and in-your-face as her subject matter, which is said as a compliment. She gives a lot of the “freaks” she takes photos of a very harsh and dramatic lighting, even going so far as to use flash photography during daylight in order to capture this surreal quality in many of her portraits. That level of empathy that she has in her photographs has always stayed with me and is what I try to emulate and channel when taking my own photographs. In conclusion, I will include and talk about 10 of her images that vary from many of her series and years of her work to show the diversity in her style as well as how prolific of a photographer she was.

1. Albino Sword Swallower at a Carnival, MA 1970

A very formal photograph but the most interesting part to me was the background. The tent in the background is this structure that isn’t that large but still towering over her. You still see the scope of the tent because Arbus shows the top. It would’ve been a completely different photograph if she just shot the sword swallower dead-on or adjusted it so only the tent was in her viewfinder as nothing more than a backdrop. It would lose something there. There are so many different levels of contrast here with the large white truck and/or sky behind her being this bright white but the tent being so dark and then again with the swallower’s skin and the tent, and yet again a third time with her blouse and her skirt. It all works so evenly together contrast wise. However, we can’t forget the swallower herself, the subject of the frame. It evokes, to me, a very biblical feeling with the hilt of the sword and the posture of her in that of a crucifix. Also how the back of her knuckles hit the back of the tent which makes it cave in slightly creating this haunting effect as if she’s striking the canvas as she makes this pose of “ta-da”.

2. Child with a Toy Hand Grenade in Central Park, NYC, 1962

This is probably one of the most famous pictures Arbus has done. It depicts this boy: in one hand he has a grenade, and his other hand is a sort of clawing grasp. But perhaps the most notable thing is the strap of his overalls is folded over on the same hand that looks like a claw. His expression and his posture both give this feeling of exploding apart from the grenade in his hand. He feels like he’s bursting at the seams. The contrast of this one is also a lot lower than what she usually does; it’s great how the shadows of the trees lightly paint the ground of the park around him.

3. Christmas Tree in a Living Room in Levittown, Long Island, NY, 1963

This one I find interesting for a whole different reason. This completely pristine living room without any blemishes to speak of and in the center is this Christmas tree completely draped in tinsel and decorations. It’s the only thing decorated in the room, and what I could only assume also the whole house, and it’s squeezed into that corner even though there is what appears to be a window to the right of the frame where the light is coming in, a usual spot to display your tree from the inside out. It isn’t quite trapped in the corner but it isn’t exactly allowed to breathe either. The second part that interests me about it is the location the actual photograph was taken, Levittown. Levittown, NY, and a few others, were the first ever mass produced suburbs in America post World War II and became a turning point in American living and real estate. For the first time ever people had these affordable suburb homes en masse. Within the course of a year or two entire towns were built out of nothing and made into whole communities but each of these houses sort of lacked a sense of identity. They were nearly all identical architecturally and I find it interesting to wonder what the neighbors of this home looked like and I imagine how similar it’d be.

4. Girl in a Shiny Dress, NY, 1967

The girl isn’t quite bashful but she isn’t quite courageous either. From her posture to the look on her face and the way her dress hangs from her body, it all just feels so uncomfortable. Her smile is very put on but it’s as if she forgot to tell her eyes and the rest of her face to try and look happy as well. The flash really helps illuminate her dress to show the textures and they really are quite stunning. It’s hard to imagine her in any other state other than being frazzled the way she is.

5. Two Ladies at the Automat, NY, 1966

In addition to the freaks she regularly took photos of, there are a number of portraits Arbus took of aristocratic women, and sometimes men, of the time. Visually there is such a stark difference between two women like this and the Albino sword swallower, for example, but I believe Arbus found some similarities between the two social groups. In a quote Arbus says, “Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats." As for the actual photo’s aesthetic, again we can see the high contrast in the clothes between the two women, not just in tone but in pattern was well. Their expressions are what I can only describe as “blissful befuddlement”. With their sculpted or painted on eyebrows and their emotionless eyes, I can’t really tell what they are feeling and how they feel about their picture being taken. It has a remarkably eerie quality to it.

6. Lady Bartender at Home with a Souvenir Dog, New Orleans, 1964

This is one of the few photos of Arbus where it feels like genuine comedy with very little restlessness. Although she’s sitting slightly uncomfortably with her hand and a very odd position, the comparison of the toy dog and her hair is just too perfect. You can’t help but chuckle, even if only slightly, upon seeing it.

7. A castle in Disneyland, CA, 1962

If ever there was an artist that could make a Disneyland fairytale-esque castle appear to be something out of a Nosferatu, it would be Diane Arbus. The photo is genuinely creepy in all aspects. It feels like it’s towering over you, the light shining up on the towers, and the sense of some sort of fog surrounding the castle. The only thing that breaks that eeriness is the swan swimming through the mote. It changes the mood from flat-out creepy to something more serene, while still giving you a sense of being uncomfortable or perhaps even a slight sense of danger.

8. Female Impersonator in bed, NY, 1960

This was one of many transvestites, strippers, hermaphrodites, or any other adult performers. To me this photo is another great example of Arbus’ empathy. She isn’t trying to exploit this person but to share a small moment. There is nothing provocative or sensational about this photograph. To me she is just day dreaming and longing for something better. It feels like real innocence.

9.  Three Puerto Rican Ladies, NY, 1963

Arbus took a lot of photos of people in groups of twos and threes, often times showcasing either the similarities or differences between them. This I find to be a medium between the two. Obviously their hair is the same and so are their scowls, but their age and dress differ quite a bit. They are all looking at Arbus as if she’s some car wreck they all just witnessed. The girl on the left seems like a teenager, the girl on the right seems to be in her twenties or so, and the woman in the middle seems to be about in her forties. Also, the items they are all carrying have very interesting qualities. Two binders, some books, a sports jacket, and a paper bag from what looks like could be from either a bookstore or a bakery.

10. 42nd Street Movie Theater Audience, NY, 1958

To end it I will talk about one of the most personal photographs to me. Few photos fill me with such elated joy as this one does. I have an incredibly romantic view of cinema, and this photograph gives me such a specific feeling. I feel sorry for anyone who looks at this photo and doesn’t get a sense of nostalgia and comfort, just thinking of the countless times going into a dark theater. It’s fantastic how the light from the projector just shoots through the frame with this overpowering beam, in this smoky, elegant theater.