#if i missed you please message me @juuls

[storytimewithnova]

message to sho's exes

We are here to suffer in silence GC

Noya:come on sho everyone else has talked about their exe's your turn

Sho:fine 🎶I caught you cheating You had the nerve to say you're sleeping Just not with her🎶

Atsumu:who cheated on my sister we just want to talk 🔪

Osamu:^

Sho:🎶but tell your friends That I'll be lost without you And I'll admit it🎶

Tori:No Imōto you won't you be better off

Sho:🎶Sometimes I miss when we were in it So I made a list so I never forget All the things I hate about you🎶

Kenma:yes bestie let him know

Sho:@kageyama 🎶Ten, you're selfish🎶

Everyone was shocked

Sho: @Tsukishima🎶 nine, you're jaded🎶

Tsukishima:😒

Yams:Tsukishima you dated my best friend

Tsukishima:😒

Sho:@ lev 🎶Eight, the dumbest guy I dated🎶

Yaku:you dated my twin

Lev:I-I mean kinda

Sho:@iwa 🎶Seven, talk a big game 'til you're naked🎶

Tori:Iwa chan you dated my sister

Iwa: .....

Sho:@Terushima 🎶Only six seconds, and I had to fake it🎶

Kuroo:you dated him

Atsumu:i am disgusted  how dare you treat my sister this way

Osamu:it's not finished Moron

Sho:@Hoshimi 🎶Five, you're toxic🎶

Kenma:Really you dated the wannabe little giant

Sho:@Daishou 🎶four, can't trust you🎶

Konoha:you dated my  boyfriend

Kuroo:i told you he couldn't be trusted

Bokuto:bro simmer down

Sho:@komori 🎶Three, you still got mommy issues🎶

Omi:wait did i see that right my cousin

Sho:@Tanaka 🎶Two years of your bullshit I can't undo🎶

Ennoshita:you were in a two year relationship with my cousin

Tanaka: ....

Akaashi:oh this one i know about yeah he was in a 2 year relationship with blossom then he split with out an explanation and ran to you

Noya:bro that is messed up

Tanaka:I'm sorry i didn't want to break her heart i fell out of love with her so my best option at the time was run

Sho:@all my exes 🎶One, I hate the fact that you made me love you🎶

Daishou:sho please we are sorry we were lousy boyfriends to you

Sho:🎶Your friends must suck if they think you're cool A sloppy drunk obsessed with his Juul🎶

Kags:we swore to never mention that

Sho:🖕🏻🎶Keep buying bottles with your daddy's money And I don't know how I fell for your shit🎶

Teru: petal you said we would never talk about that

Sho:🎶You gross me out, now I've got the ick And I've got a list of why you don't get to fuck me🎶

The exes: we're sorry

Noya regretting asking about sho's exes now he just wanted tea but this is not what he expected

Sho:🎶Ten, Kageyama you're selfish, nine, Tsukishima you're jaded Eight, Lev the dumbest guy I dated Seven, Iwa talk a big game 'til you're naked Terushima Only six seconds and I had to fake it Five,Hoshimi  you're toxic, four, Daishou can't trust you Three, Komori  you still got mommy issues Tanaka Two years of your bullshit I can't undo One, I hate the fact that you made me love all of you🎶

She could see her bfs getting angry at

The exes:please sho give us another chance

Sho:🎶You made me love you You made me love you Ooh, ah How'd you make me love you? And I'll admit it Sometimes I miss when we were in it So I made a list, yeah Ten things I hate about you🎶

Atsumu:🎶Ten, you're selfish, nine, you're jaded Eight, the dumbest guy she dated🎶

Osamu:🎶Seven talk a big game 'til you're naked Only six seconds and I had to fake it🎶

Tori:🎶Five, you're toxic, four, can't trust you Three, you still got mommy issues🎶

Yaku:🎶Two years of your bullshit I can't undo🎶

The bfs:🎶One, I hate the fact that you made me love you

Sho:yeah no i am not giving you a second chance i moved on meet my new bfs kuroo,bokuto and Akaashi

The exes:we understand we sorry sho we messed up

The exes went offline

Kuroo:kitten lets go we have a date

Akaashi:come on blossom we got reservations at that restaurant you wanted

Bokuto:best seats near the fish

Sho:AAAHH BEST BFS EVER

Atsumu:home at a sensible time missy

The miya siblings:^

Sho:omg fine sayonara Onii chan bye everyone

4 servers have gone offline

Noya:i regert asking about her exes

Asahi:its fine noya we all went

Noya:i didn’t know my bro was one of them he did that,that was really shitty enno are you okay

Enno:fine why (no I'm not but i will be)

Ennoshita went offline

Kita: everyone offline

Everyone went offline

Ennoshita and tanaka broke up and Futakuchi was there to help his future captain they got close during a future captains hang out they got wasted and Futakuchi and Ennoshita started to make out they ended up confessing the next day they remembered what happened and they were slightly embarrassed but they were happyso in the end Ennoshita got his happy ending

#Youtube

[suburban-satan]

shit my friends say

So I made a list of all the wild shit my friends say, started in January 2018 and still going. It's one year old I guess? Well, enjoy what I have so far!

2018 -d a d d y w i s e -well there’s chains on the ground so that must mean this was a kinky sex dungeon -GORSH MICKEY NOT MY G SPOT -I can wait until I turn 40 so I can troll Japanese Girls on roblox -what if we all looked like mike wizowski but our heads were the same size as they are now -I wanna give pot to a bird -I take pills without water -daddies cummie wummies are the best cummie wummies -enjoy your nonexistent stomach acid -cum glaze -I hope you choke on MY meat -who hasn’t been on pornhub -(wipes tears away and starts belting despacito) -MY GAY IS BEING TRIGGERED -that omelet looks delouse -is semen a liquid or solid -iTs nOt aQuaNauTs yOu uNculTurEd fOoK -vaginas are scary -what is menstruation -you should change your name to pussy something -my gay has been activated -“have you ever owned a vibrator?” “No” “would you like to rent one” -“do you like glazed or cream filled” -wHaT dOeS cUm sOuNd LiKe -he is on too much fertilizer -sometimes cum is hot I know from experience -if you jerked off at the speed of sound would your dick be on fire -I don’t have a sonic fetish -can your dick ignite because of the heat of your cock -aren’t dicks like cannons -who the fuck draws a glowing peepee on a skeleton -honey Freddy freaker is dancing in the living room -does penis smell like garlic -she don’t swallow in this household -*downloading garrison nudes* -don’t you realize that tentacle porn is just using octopus arms as a dildo -frickle my nipples -Minecraft porn consists of the male genitalia replaced with a stick -OOPSIE WOOPSIE!! Uwu We make a fucky wucky!! A wittle fucko boingo! The code monkeys at our headquarters are working VEWY HAWD to fix this! -“I’m big for an asian” -cockilicous -“His anal glands need milking” -fready flipper -FREADY FAPPER -daddy better make me choke -does Freddy freaker have a mutated alien dick -sonic breaks the sound barrier by beating his meat -the sun looks like it’s gon vore you -bootyhole exploration -is megalovania sex music -i like to drink cock -cum is just genital snot -penis musk -Shid piz and farbt -Bull + shit = sis it don’t add up -Hey don’t tell me at least once in your life you haven’t thought about being gently caressed across the genitalia by the kraken -I swallow boba like i swallow cum -I wuv fungus kun, the way he waps a awond my tosie wosies so tight! He’s gibing me a huggie!!!! Fungus kun gibes my tosies a new color too!!!! Wat a good fungus kun make my doki doki go “ UAU” heeheehee -eating banana with the banana peel -orang juce -father I want cheddar -don’t you just look at someone and think about how long their neck is -breathing is just boneless vaping -get outta here juuling criminal -yall ever succ a dick for juul pods -unironically drawing miss piggy -“Jack don’t let go 😱🤭🤭, jack sweetie 😐👀 if you let go 🙊🙈 you’re weave 🙀🙀 gone 😇😘💅” -I've been watching spooky movies for 5 hour -omg it’s daddy sans undertaker!!! -bröther -I ate my sister -are you'd's't've kidding me? -oh youtube please don't show me the shrek movies rn -My brother is calling me out on the family group chat for eating a bowl of peanut butter -Hamilton is best girl -get outta here you fuckin loyalist -what doesn’t cum have -drink flex seal and you won’t have to worry about a marriage -I feel water. -“Superfood or supergross? Is Sperm good?” -coochie hands gucci bands -just imagine trying to cast a spell and then you get disturbed by a banjo -toto africa is sex music now and everytime they say rain it’s just cum -y'all ever burp in your mouth and exhale it through your nose like a vaper -how dare them make my green senpai an honorable member of society -If you didn’t search big boobs video on google at least once are you really a Gen Z kid????? -laugh pussies -i’m watching the history of japan on pornhub -we have the same name because we are secretly the same person -what if you eat your phone and it’s all in your tummy -why would you ever think i’m not serious all the time you silly dragon but we’re both (my name) so we can be the silly dragon together -why would you wash your face before you go to bed when your tears wash it off for you *wooshing noises* -I want to drive a bus because I like busses -my shoe broke -why does everyone talk about the drugs i’m eating -i’m going to break her because she’s talking about smoking cocaine and I don’t like drugs -(stage whisper) metal heads live among us but we don’t know because they look like normal people -oh bye mr music teacher -the pussy? designer. cucci, if you will. -DID I HEAR S A N S P O R N -"i'm about to nay nay on your dead fucking corpse" -alert alert the toes are coming -you got a fucking problem with my 𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐬? -imagine using an oven for something designed for a microwave this post was made by the doesnt have much motivation gang -Please take my Minnesotan snow Wait that sounds like Minnesotan cocaine -when you funny scream -"dating the Bill of Rights for fun" is now exactly how I'm going to describe my hyperfixations -the penguin  from fruit loops is a twink (bitch its a toucan) -if white cheese exists is there black cheese -What’s rosum opossum -whale cum -dicko mode -(GETTIN SOME CHRISTMAS SPIRIT UP IN THAT PUSS) -pennies more like penis amirite -It’s Sunday don’t forget to squeeze cheese on the cat -the grinch is dr seuss’s fursona -everyone is gangster until the trees start speaking vietnamese -big chungus is my dad -“if the apocalypse happened what would you do” “eat bees” -I'm tired as fuck but I gotta wait until it's 4:20 to go to bed -mom: you need to be reasonable and wait two hours before having another brownie me, stuffing my mouth full of brownie: br o w n y s -This honey in whole foods is in fucking comic sans -it's more likely that I'll guess someone is gay before I remember the existence of women -im gonna say it again for the people in the back:

i eat bees -Thanos penis, it's actually called a thenis -yort -uwu its the mowst thorstiewst time of the yeaw uwu -It is I Teh gromc -The gronk is here to say eat all the dish soap in the house -the grinch but he's wearing crocs the entire time -answer my question or else i will establish sans porn -You make him doki doki uwaaaaa!!!! -birdbox but all the bird sounds are replaced by cardi b noises -THE GROMPK IS TOO POWERFUL -consume ocean sauce -square up in judge judys court -half consumes ocean sauce -ice juce -frick stick -you guys wanna read undertale fanfiction     -2019- -it might be 2019 but thats not gonna stop me from terrorizing my family's groupchat -(pineapple voice) first date idea: digest eachother -Wait dennys will arrest you for doing illegal things?? -pls purify me -my toes are very succulent today -two succs having flex two succs having sex my muscles my muscles involuntarily checks -f u r r y , N a s h . -Perfect for all occasions! Spill something on your nice shirt, give a messy blowjob, and sphagetti!!! -Do you want cum on your nice shirt??? -it would be nice if i had cum on my shirt -cocc succ machine -I KNOW TONGUE JUTSU -I feel like i’m in a meat prison -hi you obese elephant -plant porn is just flowey porn -We all love the out of the box 4am messages we get -YOU LIKE SNAS PEEPEE

#shit my friends say #shitpost #please help me #sans #I guess??? #theres a lot of sans sorry #too many about peepee #enjoy #please dont be offended #bees #thanos #so sorry

[dinafbrownil]

Must-Reads Of The Week From Brianna Labuskes

The Friday Breeze

Newsletter editor Brianna Labuskes, who reads everything on health care to compile our daily Morning Briefing, offers the best and most provocative stories for the weekend.

Happy Friday! Yours truly is back from beautiful Vietnam and it seems I missed one or two … ahem … minor news events while traipsing around.

I come bearing no souvenirs but rather two health reminders (one via Sen. Bernie Sanders). Firstly, don’t forget your flu shot — Australia has had an unusually early and severe season, which rarely bodes well for our own. The second comes in the form of a hard-earned lesson from a 2020 candidate: Don’t ignore those heart attack warning signs! (This is especially directed at women, who are dying unnecessarily from cardiac events.)

Now enough mother-henning. (You missed me, didn’t you?) On to the news of the week!

The Supremes are back in action, and a look at the high court’s docket reveals a potentially doozy of a politically charged term (with rulings expected to land as the general election heats up in 2020).

In the health care sphere, a big case to watch is the Louisiana abortion suit. An essentially identical Texas law — which requires doctors performing abortions to have admitting privileges at nearby hospitals — was ruled unconstitutional by the court in 2016, but that means little with two new justices appointed by President Donald Trump weighing in.

The New York Times: As the Supreme Court Gets Back to Work, Five Big Cases to Watch

Oral arguments in two other health-related cases were held this week. The justices grappled with the moral and legal complexities of the insanity defense. The case prompted questions such as this one from Justice Stephen Breyer: One defendant kills a victim he thinks is a dog. “The second defendant knows it’s a person but thinks the dog told him to do it,” Breyer said. “They are both crazy. And why does Kansas say one is guilty, the other is not guilty?”

The New York Times: Supreme Court Opens New Term With Argument on Insanity Defense

Tuesday was all about LGBTQ rights. Although most of the justices were divided along ideological lines on whether federal civil rights legislation applies to sexual orientation and gender identification, Justice Neil Gorsuch hinted his vote might be in play. As an avowed believer in textualism, he suggested that the words of Title VII are “really close, really close” to barring employment discrimination for those workers. But don’t go placing bets on the outcome yet. He also noted that he was worried about “the massive social upheaval” that would follow such a Supreme Court ruling.

The New York Times: Supreme Court Considers Whether Civil Rights Act Protects L.G.B.T. Workers

The Friday Breeze

Want a roundup of the must-read stories this week chosen by KHN Newsletter Editor Brianna Labuskes? Sign up for The Friday Breeze today.

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On that note, the 2020 Democratic candidates participated in an LGBTQ forum on the eve of National Coming Out Day. There were a handful of notable moments through the night (including a zinger from Sen. Elizabeth Warren that was met with loud applause), but much of the spotlight was on protesters who demanded the candidates pay attention to violence against black transgender women. “We are hunted,” said one member of the audience.

CNN: Protesters Interrupt CNN LGBTQ Town Hall to Highlight Plight of Black Transgender Women

Elsewhere on the campaign trail this week, controversy over a pregnancy discrimination talking point from Warren’s stump speech prompted women — including Warren rival Sen. Amy Klobuchar — to speak out on social media about their own and their mothers’ experiences.

NBC News: Women Rally in Support of Elizabeth Warren by Sharing Their Own Pregnancy Discrimination Stories

Sanders’ campaign confirmed that the health scare from last week was indeed a heart attack. The 2020 candidate — who promised to return “full blast” to the race — said he hopes people learn from his “dumb” mistake of ignoring the warning signs. In true politician-running-for-office style, he also was able to use the scare as a way to emphasize the importance of his signature policy proposal, “Medicare for All.”

Reuters: Democratic Presidential Hopeful Sanders Says He Was ‘Dumb’ to Ignore Health Warnings

In a sign of what’s to come for Big Pharma, South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg, one of the field’s more moderate candidates, released a drug pricing plan that is decidedly not moderate. The move falls in line with a broader sense that there’s an ever-growing appetite among even middle-ground Dems for action to rein in drugmakers.

Stat: Buttigieg Unveils an Aggressive Plan for Lowering Drug Prices

And for you political wonks out there, this was an interesting read on the shifting political dynamics of doctors, who once used to be a sure thing for the GOP.

The Wall Street Journal: Doctors, Once GOP Stalwarts, Now More Likely to Be Democrats

A key ruling on the health law is expected in the next few weeks, but officials (on condition of anonymity,  mind you) said that if the ruling is against the ACA, the Trump administration will ask the court to put any changes on hold — possibly until after the election. The reports further support the idea that the law, which has been, uh, politically fraught (to say the very least) over its entire life span, is at the moment viewed as an Achilles’ heel for Republicans.

The Washington Post: Trump Administration Plans to Delay Any Changes If the ACA Loses in Court

Two other major news items out of the administration this week to pay attention to:

The Associated Press: Trump Signs Proclamation Restricting Visas for Uninsured

The Associated Press: Overhaul Is Proposed for Decades-Old Medicare Fraud Rules

The first teenager’s death in the outbreak of vaping-related lung illnesses drove home this week public health officials’ message that young people are “playing with their lives” when they partake. The number of cases jumped to 1,299 as of Oct. 8, with the number of deaths rising to 26.

The Wall Street Journal: New York City’s First Vaping-Related Death Is a Bronx Teen

Reuters: U.S. Vaping-Related Deaths Rise to 26, Illnesses to 1,299

Although Juul is facing a barrage of lawsuits, one filed this week was notable. It was believed to be the first from school districts, which claim that fighting the vaping epidemic has been a drag on their resources. While some legal experts are dubious about whether the school districts can establish their standing, others aren’t ruling it out.

The New York Times: Juul Is Sued by School Districts That Say Vaping Is a Dangerous Drain on Their Resources

And the ripple effect of the crisis is spreading to life insurance prices.

Bloomberg: Prudential Plans to Boost Life Insurance Prices for Vapers

Time for you to flex your ethical muscles for the week: Should there be boundaries to highly personalized medicine? A pricey drug designed — and named for! — just one patient sparked questions this week about how far researchers should go in the name of curing a single person. Especially when there are thousands of patients out there with rare diseases. Would only the wealthiest subset be given cures? Who would decide which patients deserve limited research hours over others?

The New York Times: Scientists Designed a Drug for Just One Patient. Her Name Is Mila.

And ProPublica shines a light on the practice of drug companies using flashy Facebook ads, cash incentives and other marketing techniques to woo Mexican residents over the border to donate plasma. It’s not as innocuous as it might seem — donating too much plasma can compromise the immune system. (Selling plasma has been banned in Mexico since 1987.)

ProPublica: Pharmaceutical Companies Are Luring Mexicans Across the U.S. Border to Donate Blood Plasma

In the miscellaneous file for the week:

An Ohio doctor is being charged in 25 fentanyl-related deaths. How on earth was such a lapse allowed to occur? The New York Times peels back the curtain on years of lapses and missed warnings in one Columbus intensive care unit.

The New York Times: One Doctor. 25 Deaths. How Could It Have Happened?

During the week of World Mental Health Day, research finds that Americans are starting to internalize all the political rhetoric (and myths) about the connection between mental health and violence. “People want simple solutions: They want to be able to neatly explain things,” said one expert.

Los Angeles Times: Americans Increasingly Fear Violence From People Who Are Mentally Ill

There’s more than one way to keep a community healthy, and that goes beyond doctor’s offices, clinics and hospitals. A growing number of medical professionals are embracing the notion that steady paychecks, stable housing and good food are crucial to supporting their patients before they get sick.

The New York Times: When a Steady Paycheck Is Good Medicine for Communities

In a sad sign of the times, a muppet on “Sesame Street” is going to have a mother struggling with addiction. The storyline is meant to help an ever-increasing number of children affected by the opioid crisis.

Stat: ‘Sesame Street’ Launches Initiative to Help Explain Parental Addiction to Kids

High levels of uranium were found in the blood of Navajo women and babies in a study that underscored the real costs of America’s atomic development. Lawmakers are pushing for legislation that would compensate those who have been exposed.

The Associated Press: US Official: Research Finds Uranium in Navajo Women, Babies

And the Nobel Prizes are given out this week: In medicine, scientists who worked with oxygen and cells were honored. Their work has the potential to be the building blocks for things like cancer treatments.

The Washington Post: Nobel Prize in Medicine Awarded for Discovery of How Cells Sense Oxygen

That’s it from me! It’s good to be back with you guys, and I hope you have a great weekend!

from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/friday-breeze-health-care-policy-must-reads-of-the-week-from-brianna-labuskes-october-11-2019/

[fanfic-blog]

Junior Takeover

Yup! That’s me. You’re probably NOT wondering how I got here. But I’m gonna tell you anyways. So sit down, shut up, and enjoy the insane story that was the end of my junior year. : *begin flashback*

“JJ. Calm down. I know you’re excited that Chris asked you out, but could you maybe not yell? Remember that we’re in a car. And ,ya know, about to walk into a funeral.”

Nobody expected Brock Smith to go out that way. He was the star quarterback, was dating the head cheerleader, had a perfect 4.0 Gpa, and was bound for Auburn University. We all though he was invincible after he escaped that drunk driving accident last year after prom without a scratch. He shouldn’t have died because a bird attacked him, and plucked his eyes out. The news said he was found by a tent on the shore of Lake Hamilton, having bleed out. Although some people think that it wasn’t a bird; they seem to think that Brock wasn’t alone that night by the lake. If he wasn’t alone and it wasn’t just a crackpot bird attack, then why would someone extract his beautiful hazel orbs? All I can say, is the fanfic writters of Hawkins High School had the time of their lives using his death as a way to kill off characters in their stories.

Everyone in the completely average city of Hot Springs loved Brock Smith, so why only five other people showed up for his funeral, I’m not sure; Patricia and Jared Smith (Brock’s parents), Joe Jones, Angela Williams, and Chris Peterson. Hannah leaned over and whispered as she saw Chris walk in and stand menacingly in the back corner, “Chris didn’t even know Brock, did he? He only moved into town a month ago.” I turn just enough to see him in my peripheral vision, he looks….psychotic? Is that the right word? Hell, I don’t know how to describe the deranged look on his seemingly bloodless face.

When Chris first showed up over spring break, Hannah saw him walking around downtown. Peterson, as everyone calls him, has gauges and wears skinny jeans tighter than that of any of the try-hard girls in this crummy stuck-up school. He stands at six feet even with beautiful golden brown hair that vaguely reminds me of fresh baked cookies. He can often be found standing in the corner alone with his Juul. His pasty white skin looks like that Edward dude from those wretched Twilight movies. Hannah often blows up my Snapchat with grainy pictures of him showing me the stunning young man that she felt was to be my “high school sweetheart”; she says that because he’s the complete opposite of me.

My full name is Janet Marie Jones, I go by Jane but my close friends (basically just Hannah) call me JJ. I’m only five foot three inches tall with jet black hair that falls over my shoulders like water falls over Niagara Falls. I never leave the house without my notebook and laptop. Anytime I’m not hanging out with Hannah, I sit and write. I’m currently working on a murder mystery, very similar to season one of Riverdale.

*buzzzzz* I look down at my phone to see a message from an unknown number.

“Hey Jane! It’s Peterson You free to hang out Friday night? I was thinking we could go on that date. Maybe dinner and a movie?”

“Yeah, I’m free. That sounds great, what movie?”

“Have you seen Booksmart yet?”

“No”

“Okay cool. I’ll pick you up at 6:30 on Friday”

“Sounds like a plan!” I hit send and flop back on the bed, beginning to ponder what to wear on a date with a guy like Peterson.

Friday night rolls around and I still can’t decide what to wear, so I pull out my favorite outfit; a white t-shirt with grey horizontal stripes, a tan brown oversized knit sweater, some dark blue skinny jeans that are cuffed at the bottom, and my black ankle boot wedges. “It’s 6:25,” I murmur to myself “he should be here soon”.

He pulls into the driveway at 6:29. I walk out to the midnight black 1967 Chevy Impala (I only know what kind of car it is because I watch Supernatural and Dean is such a babe). “Damn I’m glad I killed Brock, I would have never had a chance with you if he were still alive” Chris whispers into my hair as he pulls me in for a hug.

“Awe, that’s sweet. I would have given you a chan….. WAIT! did you just say you killed Brock?! WHY THE FUCK would you think that he would have stood in the way of you getting a date with me?!”

“I saw the way you looked at him, the longing in your eyes, the sadness that came along with knowing you couldn’t have him. You would have spent the rest of your junior year pining over a senior, that you had no flipping chance with. Brock didn’t even know you exist Janet!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I huff at him, knowing EXACTLY what he’s talking about. I’d spent every day since the beginning of freshman year wishing that Brock was dating me instead of that dumb cheerleader. “Please tell me you’re joking about having killed Brock?”

“If it makes you feel better, yeah, I’m joking.”

“Okay good”

We sit down in the back of the theater with our large white gatorades, popcorn, and junior mints. The lights dim and the movie begins.

*present time Jane telling story* “Ya know? Now that I think about it, I don’t remember anything about that movie. We made out through the whole thing.” *continue flashback*

We get in the car after the movie. I assume he’s taking me home. But after twenty minutes of driving in the opposite direction of my house, I speak up and ask “Where are we going? My house is the other way.”

“I want to show you something. If that’s okay?”

“Uh…. yeah that’s okay I guess. Can I know where we’re going at least?”

“Lake Ouachita”

Chris puts the car in park and turns to look at me. “So how are you with blood” he inquires in a voice so low, I almost didn’t hear him.

“Not too great. One time my dad and I went hunting and he killed a deer. When he cut into it, he accidentally slit it’s carotid artery; causing blood to squirt everywhere. Why do you ask?”

“Just come with me”

I hesitantly slide out of the car and follow him down to the waterfront. I can see an old tent that’s been torn to shreds, probably by the recent storms we’ve had. As we get closer to the former campsite, Chris turns on his flashlight. I follow the light with my eyes, not daring to move any further once he stops walking. My eyes first land on what appears to be a blood splattered machete. “That’s a little weird” I think to myself. Just past that, I see… A BODY?! AM I SEEING THIS CORRECTLY?!

*end flashback*

“Chris what are we doing here? Do the cops know about this? Did you do this?”

“I told you I killed Brock. I’m a serial killer JJ, it’s what I do.”

He turns towards the water, looking out at the houses across the lake; not realizing that I’ve gained one giant ass kife. I rear back, not yet used to the weight in my hand, taking a swing at Chris. I aim for his head, but miss and purge him of his left arm. He falls to the ground with a blood curdling scream. Seeing him laying on the ground writhing in pain, all I can think of is that damn mortal kombat game saying, “FINISH HIM!”. I plant my right foot on his chest to hold him in place, and swiftly behead him.

“Great! Now I have a dead body on my hands. What am I supposed to do?”

I wipe the blood that was on my hands on his chest, and remove my phone from my back pocket. “Hello? Hannah? I need some help. Meet me at Lake Ouachita.”

Forty minutes pass, and I start to wonder, “What if someone in one of those houses heard him scream and called cops? What if I get caught trying to hid the body?” Eventually, Hannah pulls up in her dad's Ford pickup. Luckily that man always keeps some tools and tarps in the bed. I’m so fortunate to have a friend like her.

“Thank god for Tumblr teaching me how to hide bodies” I joke as we bury the last piece of Chris.

*flash forwards 15 years*

As I sit here in my office at the Hot Springs Police Department, I contemplate my past. After that unusual first date, I gave up my dream of becoming a world renowned murder-mystery author, and enrolled in classes at the community college. Once I graduated with a degree in criminal justice, I joined the Police Academy.

The End

#short story

[lindyhunt]

Here’s All the Fashion News You Missed This Week

View this post on Instagram

ss19 women’s Off-White™ runway show titled “Track & Field” playing in full now on www.off- – -white.com ~ link in bio

A post shared by Off-White™ (@off____white) on Sep 28, 2018 at 6:00am PDT

Off-White’s “Track and Field” runway featured actual athletes

Of course Virgil Abloh employed the likes of Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner and Kaia Gerber for his latest show, but continue clicking through the images above and you’ll begin to see that in the midst of these “It Girls” are actual female athletes. What could be better for Off-White’s sporty/street aesthetic? And what could be better for a track and field-inspired show, then actual track and field stars wearing the clothes? The eight athletes he used included English Gardner, the 100-meter dash champion from the US, Cecilia Yeung, a high jumper based in Hong Kong and Dina Asher-Smith, a sprinter from the UK. It’s not the first time the designer has worked with sports stars–let’s not forget about his work with Serena Williams and Nike. Diversity on the runway is something that continues to be praised and requested and we just love that Abloh took this opportunity to feature real-life athletes. (Vogue)

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Believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything. #JustDoIt

A post shared by colin kaepernick (@kaepernick7) on Sep 3, 2018 at 12:20pm PDT

Despite recent backlash, Nike reports strong quarterly earnings

Earlier this month, Nike featured NFL player Colin Kaepernick in an ad campaign. The message was ‘Believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything.’ Many people took issue with the choice due to the fact that Kaepernick has a history of kneeling during the national anthem as a form of protest. “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color,” Kaepernick told NFL Media following the first time he sat out the anthem in 2016. “To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.” It was a choice that divided many and that’s why Nike’s new ad garnered a considerable amount of backlash. In fact, immediately following the release, trading went down nearly 2 percent at $88.30. But even with that small dip, Nike also received a lot of support for their choice to feature the athlete and now the company has more than recovered. Their quarterly sales surpassed estimates, rising 6 percent in North America and revenue rose 9.7 percent to $9.95 billion. So even if some of Nike’s gear got burnt, the company didn’t. (Business of Fashion)

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Introducing Disco, a bag for those who play hard • Spring 2019

A post shared by RATIO ET MOTUS (@ratioetmotus) on Sep 12, 2018 at 9:18am PDT

Ratio et Motus is making Juul-friendly handbags

Yep, you read that right. According to WWD the company Juul is currently valued at $15 billion. If you’ve been living under a rock, a Juul is a type of e-cigarette and–particularly with the younger crowds–has become something of an essential accessory. You’ve probably come into contact with Juul lovers before–personally, not a day goes by that I’m not engulfed in a cloud of sweet-smelling vapour on the sidewalk. After all, consumers are spending more than $1.29 billion on the product every single year. Brands are always looking to cash in on current trends and despite the fact that there’s evidence that vaping may be harmful, Ratio et Motus has decided to go ahead and tap in on the hype with a line of Juul-friendly handbags. The accessories feature a slim back pocket for Juul storage as well as a clasp where you can clip in your keys. Ratio et Motus has dubbed it the ‘Disco’ bag. (WWD)

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So, here’s the thing–confidence, fearlessness, and individuality make up the core of who we are, but size inclusivity was not always part of the conversation. Safe to say, we were overdue for a change. Which is why we’re excited to finally introduce our new fall capsule–a super rad lineup of transitional pieces, now available in an extended size range. @alessandragl ✨ #GetNastyGal #nastygalsdoitbetter • shop this edit via link in bio

A post shared by Nasty Gal (@nastygal) on Sep 25, 2018 at 8:00am PDT

Nasty Gal launches extended sizing, but is it enough?

“Safe to say, we were overdue for a change,” Nasty Gal wrote on Instagram earlier this week. The brand was announcing their new extended size range and although we applaud them–it’s about time!–it may not be enough of a change. Following the announcement, the company has received backlash from people who say it’s still not totally inclusive. The new collection includes sizes 0 to 18, but typically plus-size ranges continue all the way up to size 24 (if not higher). So although this is a positive step for the company, many are still unhappy and confused as to why they’ve halted sizing at this spot. However, it seems like they’re listening. Teen Vogue actually reached out to the company for a comment and they immediately responded confirming that they have plans for further expansion. “Please stay with us as we hope to introduce an even greater range of sizes in the near future, allowing everyone to enjoy our brand,” they wrote. (Teen Vogue)