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#if one person likes this i'm posting my review of every song
royallyprincesslilly · 6 months
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Title: Everyone Else Is No.2 {One-Shot}***
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Lewis Hamilton x Attorney Friend Reader
Warning: Cursing, NSFW, Mature 18+ Content, Angst, PLENTY OF WORDS, DIALOGUE HEAVY
Words: 15.2k
Summary: Again, nah.
Note: Inspired by that old August Alsina song "Kissing on My Tattoos". So sorry for how long it is and for the long sentences toward the end, it couldn't be any other way. Forgive the weird spacing throughout, Tumblr has a 1,000 block limit per post, and guess who reached it before correcting the spacing.
Note II: Really interested in hearing what you guys think about this one. Let me know.
As always, thank you guys for reading! I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this.
If you did enjoy this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!
***NOT Edited/Proofread***
-Y/N-
"You're beautiful you know that right?"
You smiled and took a sip of your drink.
"Thanks."
The man sitting across from you, Darius, nodded and before he looked down to his plate you caught his eyes drop to your cleavage. Of course, you thought. This was your 2nd date with him. The first went smoothly though you'd went with little to no expectations for it to be so. Tonight, he said the right things, did the right things, and was the perfect gentleman.
He'd even chosen a great restaurant. The ambiance was perfect for a second date. So far you had only counted 2 things that were less than satisfactory, everything was on point. He was so on point that you wondered if he was acting and not being his genuine self.
You hated the dating scene. Everyone held their cards too close to their chest. No one was ever real about anything. Everyone liked to waste people's time all in the name of fun and sex. These days you only treated dating as a pastime and a way to relieve stress after long hours of working on briefs and reviewing case files.
"A woman with your track record in law. Wheeew. Was it hard?"
You shrugged then wiped the corner of your mouth, "It definitely wasn't easy. I still remember the sleepless nights, and times when I only had 1 meal a day. My parents still remember not seeing me for 3 months because of the bar and my first major case that came nearly right behind the other. They won't let me forget it."
"It looks like it paid off. You're on the partner track. Shit, you'd be the first woman under 35 to make that happen at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw," Darius said.
You bristled, but politely smiled and took another sip of your wine.
"I'm sorry I don’t mean to make this weird I'm just in awe of you."
You studied him for a few moments but found no lie. You could always tell a lie. No matter what the case, no matter who it was. It was your secret weapon and it served you well as a lawyer.
"Thank you, but enough about me. What about you? Tell me about Darius Forrester."
He smiled, licked his lips then looked you directly in the eye.
"I'm pretty much a what you see you get kind of guy. I've been at Berry & Clark for the last 6 years as a criminal attorney. The work is challenging but I do alright for myself.
You nodded. He did. From what you heard his win ratio was nearly 92% and he took upstanding cases. He was a good attorney. Normally you wouldn’t shit where you ate because mess was not your style. You did not want to walk into a courtroom or boardroom and see the opposing counsel was an ex. That one thing gave you nightmares.
So dating lawyers was out of the question. You dipped in every other career field, playing it safe. The further they were from a law career the better. However, after a conversation with your other lawyer girlfriends about limiting oneself in the already limited dating pool, something clicked, and you decided to try it once but only if they weren't in your firm. Darius was your first attempt.
As he continued to tell you facts about himself you listened, but he didn't have your full attention. There was another person who held your attention, a person who though was usually out of sight was never really out of mind.
You heard your phone sound from your clutch resting on the table and both your eyes shot to it. Darius spoke before you moved.
"Go ahead please."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm an attorney as well, Y/N I know you come attached to it."
You smiled, held up your finger to him silently promising it would be quick, then took your phone in hand. You expected it to be Kemi, your paralegal, with files you were expecting, but it wasn't her name on your screen.
MSG Lewis: What're you doing tonight? Going over an endless to-do list of contracts and briefs?
You smirked.
MSG: Not even close.
MSG Lewis: Wow did someone finally decide to live a little and cut loose?
MSG: This sounds an awful lot like the pot calling the kettle black.
MSG Lewis: Plead the 5th.
MSG: The Lewis Hamilton out maneuvered. Say it ain't so.
MSG: I'm close to your place. Just got back in town. Can you be ready in 10?
Your eyes flitted to Darius across from you who was taking the time to check his messages as well. You looked over him slowly, noting again how great he looked in his suit and how you liked the effort he had put in the last 2 dates down to the flowers he brought you and the activities you'd done. Things could progress if you chose to allow them to.
MSG Lewis: Is that a no?
MSG: I'm not home.
MSG Lewis: Okay. Where you at, the office? I can come pick you up.
MSG: I'm not at the office. I'm actually on a date.
You waited a few seconds, but he didn’t reply. Why didn't he reply?
"Everything ok?"
Caught off guard, you looked back up to Darius whose eyes were already on you. His brows were knitted with concern.
"Uh--yeah. I uh--I think so."
"A case?"
You thought about it and technically he was right. You were Lewis' entertainment lawyer. You were his personal attorney who reviewed the contracts after the company attorney said they had. You gave it to him between the eyes, never sugarcoating, and told him what was made with his best interest and what was made to capitalize off of him. However, when your services weren’t needed you were friends. Had been for practically a decade now.
Sometimes you couldn’t believe you’d known each other that long. You’d known him since he was just another F1 driver rather than the greatest. He knew you when you were going through school always on an empty tank all in the hopes of rising above the tax bracket you were born into. A decade later and he was dominating F1 and you’d more than risen yourself several levels past the tax bracket you’d been born into.
You were on the partner track at one of the largest firms in Europe. You brought in more revenue than most of the attorneys at the firm thanks to your high-class clientele. You'd both worked your asses off to get to this level and enjoyed the spoils of your labor often. You clubbed together, went to dinner, and sometimes did the vacation vibe together. You enjoyed one another’s company.  
"A client."
"Oh. Everything cool or---," Darius said.
Another message came in just then. "Everything is cool."
Darius smiled. "Good. I'll be right back, men’s room."
"Yeah."
Darius stood then walked off leaving you with the perfect opportunity to check your phone.
MSG Lewis: Is that right?
MSG: Yeah. 2nd date. Well technically 3rd if you can have 2 dates in one day.
MSG Lewis: Cool. Is it going well?
MSG: Yeah. He's made it this far.
MSG Lewis: Cool.
MSG: When he drops me home Ill text you. Come get me then.
Several moments passed before he replied. Again, you wondered why.
MSG Lewis: Cool.
The remainder of dinner you were distracted. Darius played all his cards right, even scoring himself the green light on a little hand-holding action. You had to admit he was smooth. When he pulled up to your condo building he walked you to your door then went in for a kiss. You hadn’t expected it, but rather than pull away, you allowed it to play out. It wasn’t a bad kiss. He hadn’t been too overzealous, only slipped you a little tongue, and had kept his hands respectful. All in all, for a first kiss it was a solid 8.
With a promise to call to set date number 4 sometime next week, you went inside and allowed yourself to come down. The dating scene was not something you enjoyed often. You always felt like you were performing, like men wanted a certain kind of woman, the perfect woman who they could prance around on their arm to make other men envious and that took its toll.
You never felt you had to perform with Lewis. Never felt like he wanted the perfect you. He made fun of you whenever you were perfectly put together for work meetings and said many times he liked you out of the makeup and heels. After another sigh, you took your phone out and texted him.
~~~~~~
-Lewis-
The ceiling looked like every other ceiling he’d ever seen but that didn’t stop him from focusing most of his attention on it like it was the most interesting piece of construction ever. His eyes should have been focused elsewhere but they weren’t. A loud 'slurp' echoed in the mostly quiet room reminding him again that he wasn’t alone.
"Mm. Why are you so distracted tonight, bae?"
Julissa's voice was as smooth as honey and as seductive as ever. He lowered his eyes to where she was kneeling between his legs and took her in. Her lips and chin were wet as she gave him her bedroom eyes. This was not the first time between them. Usually, it would work but not tonight. Tonight he was struggling to even keep his head in the room.
He watched her tip her tongue out and lick from the base of his dick to the glistening tip. Once there she swirled her tongue around him then sucked his head into her mouth. He’d have to be dead for it not to feel nice but that’s all it was--nice.
He sighed then brought his attention back to the ceiling. "Work."
"Aw babe, when you’re with me work should be the last thing on your mind," Julissa said before lowering her mouth down his shaft. When he felt her tonsils he groaned. His body wanted to like this wanted to give her the reaction she was working so hard for, but something was holding him back. Julissa's mouth bobbed up and down his cock sucking and slurping to her heart’s content trying to get him off, but he knew she had her work cut out for her.
He thought back to your text from 2 hours ago. You were on a date. Well shit, he hadn’t seen that coming. That was the last thing he had expected you to be doing tonight. It wasn’t because you weren’t desirable, or he thought no man would want you. For fuck's sake, you were beyond desirable, you were gorgeous and so damn intelligent. He couldn’t figure out which of those made you more beautiful, your looks or your brains. You also worked hard to be where you were, and you deserved all the praise and attention you got wherever you went.
However, sometimes he wished you got a little less male attention--x that, a lot less male attention. He sighed again. This had been going on for 10 years now. Your friendship had only strengthened but along with a strengthening friendship came a lot of other stuff. Stuff like him taking notice of the fullness of your hips or being tempted to peek when you’d been changing in the backseat of his car, or being painfully aware of how your breasts felt against his chest when you hugged.
That coupled with things he had picked up from you, made the unspoken and ignored things that much more—confusing. There were times when the way you stared at him when you thought he wasn’t looking spoke volumes or the way your hand always lingered on him for a few seconds longer than necessary but not long enough for it to be inappropriate, or the time you'd fallen asleep together on the couch and he'd woken to you wrapped around him using him as your personal body pillow and mumbling his name in your sleep.
Yeah, there was a lot of extra stuff, stuff neither of you ever addressed. The only ones who assessed it were his friends. Miles told him on several occasions that he should be careful before he or you fucked around, and someone ended up hurt. That stuck with him, but not in the way Miles had probably meant it. Rather than taking it the way Miles meant, he used it as a means to keep himself in check, a form of prevention from him crossing the line. He knew if he did, neither of you would be able to go back. It would be impossible and was one fuck up worth a decades-long friendship?
So friends were where you stayed until he added another facet--professional. Years passed, dates passed, flings, non-labeled encounters on both your parts passed and through it all your friendship remained, and nothing changed. Except today there was even more extra stuff.
The feel of Julissa’s lips wrapped around his balls sent his hips jerking upward as a curse left his lips. Julissa moaned and giggled.
“Daddy likes that?”
He knew how he would like it more. As quickly as he revved to that thought he steered away from it. That was when his phone sounded.
MSG Y/N: I’m home. Whatdaya you wanna do? Should I change?
His eye caught the time. 1am. Almost 3 hours from your last text and you were only now getting home. Clenching his jaw he took a deep breath. He had no right to be mad or annoyed right now. He knew where this was coming from. You’d been on a date, and you said it was going well. A date going well had a chance of making it upstairs. He closed his eyes squeezing them tightly. He hoped to God that you hadn’t just gotten it in.
MSG Y/N: Hello?
MSG: You don’t have to change. How about some treats and a view?
MSG Y/N: Okay. Still 10?
MSG: Make it 15.
Pulling himself up he reached down to stop Julissa. She looked confused.
“I gotta go J.”
Now she looked even more confused. He didn’t owe her an explanation, that’s not how this worked between them.
“With your dick out?”
He scoffed then fixed himself as he stood.
“Lewis this’s never happened before. Are--,” she began before he cut her off.
“All good, just—not in the mood I guess.”
She looked offended now. “I’m sorry J. We’ll talk.”
He walked to the door then left her apartment without a glance back. He didn’t feel any way about it because both of them knew what their relationship was and wasn’t. She’d agreed. Once he was in his car, he zipped through the London streets maneuvering the quickest route to your place. Thanks to the time it was an easy drive with minimal traffic. 15 minutes on the dot he swerved around to the front of your luxury condo building then sent you a text letting you know he was there.
A few minutes later, he peeped you from the corner of his eye. You walked off the elevator in a short and tight black dress, impossibly high strappy black heels, and a flowy robe-like jacket that danced behind you as you walked.
“Fuck.”
You were beautiful. Just then the thought that you’d gone on a date dressed like this rubbed him wrong. Some other man had seen this view, a view you gave willingly. Clenching his jaw, he looked through his windshield as he tried to push all those thoughts—all that other stuff to the side as he’d done countless times before. He looked back just in time to see you open the door of his car then climb in. His eyes dropped to your legs but seconds later he corrected that.
“Hi!”
Your smile was bright as if you really were as happy to see him as your voice indicated.
“Hey.”
You reached over and pressed your cheek to his for a bougie kiss. The only thing he could think was that you smelled like a treat all by yourself.
“How are you?”
“Good. You?”
“Good. Wow, what’s it been? 2 months?”
He shrugged as he shifted gears and took off. “Something like that.”
“Mercedes sure knows how to keep you busy,” you teased.
He tried to focus on the road but from his peripheral, he could see you crossing your legs displaying even more skin.
“What were you doing? You smell like fruits.”
He chastised himself because he hadn’t done a bit of cleaning up before he came. His only thought was you. Julissa’s fruity lip gloss still stained his dick that he couldn’t manage to get hard for her.
“Nowhere special. Just kickin’ it.”
You didn’t press further which said you knew just what he was doing. He clenched his jaw again, this time annoyed with himself. As he drove to the dessert place you told him about what was going on in your life while he shared some bits of his with you. Like always conversation flowed like a calm river. It was something he loved. It didn’t take long for him to pull up to the drive-thru of the vegan dessert shop. When it was his turn at the window he tipped his hat lower and left the ordering to you.
You ordered damn near everything on the menu. You didn’t care if it was cake, cupcake, ice cream, brownie, or whipped cream. You ordered at least 2 of everything. It took the staff a good 5 minutes to prepare it all and when he loaded them in the backseat it was completely filled. When he looked at you with an “are you serious right now” look, all you did was giggle. Fuck, he thought. There went all that extra stuff again.
“There is no way we can finish all this,” he said looking at the bags they’d moved to the front since parking at their destination.
“Speak for yourself. I always have room for sugar, sugar.”
He snorted then shook his head. “Mad whack.”
Your jaw dropped as you gaped at him, and you looked too fucking adorable. You sifted through the bags until you found the dessert you wanted—the vanilla bean cheesecake. Your eyes lit up as you gawked at the large slice that was topped with white chocolate shavings. “It's so pretty,” you gushed.
He watched you snap picture after picture of the treat before you took your first forkful. When you did, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a completely indulgent, hearty, and dick-hardening moan. The fuck, he thought as his dick spasmed to life. Quickly he moved one of the bags to his lap and looked out the window.
“This is so good,” you obliviously said still munching on cake.
He pulled out the vegan chocolate truffle cake and took a bite. It too was good.
“That looks good. Is it?”
“Try it,” he said holding out a forkful to your mouth.
You paused for a split second then cut off a piece of your cheesecake before you held your fork to his mouth.
“You try too.”
The image that came to mind was that of a new husband and wife feeding each other wedding cake and with it, his throat went dry. He knew if he tried to speak he’d sound like a pre-pubescent boy, so he wrapped his lips around your fork taking the piece of cake then fed you his. Your eyes lingered on one another for a few moments nut when you moaned again his dick spasmed again. with that he turned his head so fast that he was surprised he hadn’t snapped his own neck in the process.
“So good,” you repeated.
The two of you sat there commenting on the desserts you went through in record time. He didn’t indulge in sweets often but when he did he found it was usually with your sugar-addicted ass. You said there were 4 things in life you would never give up, sugar, your favorite perfume, your favorite underwear set, and sex. He believed you on all points. When there were only a few pieces of cake left the silence in the car stretched.
“So—a date huh.”
“A date.”
“I thought you gave up dating.”
You took a deep breath then slowly released it before turning your body at an angle facing him. The hem of your dress hiked a little higher and he forced himself to look away.
“I did. Then I got bored and he asked.”
“What does he do?”
You didn’t answer automatically, instead, you took another forkful or 2 of cake, then you spoke.
“He’s an attorney.”
“I thought you didn’t date attorneys.”
“I don’t but me and the girls were talking, and it clicked that by x-ing out a whole career field greatly decreased me finding someone who could stick around.”
He paused. Stick around? This was new.
“Stick around? Are you—are you looking for something—serious?”
You took a beat then shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought the other day, I have everything I have ever wanted. I am on this partner track, I make very high 6 figures, I have a great condo, my mental health is amazing, I have no debt, no baby daddies or drama, I—I’m kinda a catch but I go to sleep alone 98% of my nights. I come home to an empty place, I have no meaningful text exchanges, there is—nothing fulfilling in my life. I began to wonder if it was time to change all of that last bit.”
Silence stretched again as he thought over your words while studying you. This was the first time he’d heard you speak like this. Usually, you changed the subject or downplayed having any other thoughts than fun, sex, and work. Now hearing the vulnerability in your voice he knew you’d come to a point where all of this, intention-free dating, pastime sex, stress-busting flirting and all the meaningless interactions were unfulfilling and empty. You wanted more, you wanted love, a life, a husband, kids, vacation homes, and retirement funds, you wanted the quintessential definition of it all. He also noted you now found everything he was currently partaking in meaningless and unfulfilling.
Dropping his head, he stabbed the cake still in his hands. The more puncture holes it picked up the less and less he wanted it.
“Fuck, maybe I’m just bored and need a really, really, good fuck.”
He snorted but it was humorless.
“Don’t downplay what you feel, Y/N. Don’t—make what you feel insignificant, so you feel less vulnerable. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s you and me here.”
“It’s just—you—I know those are things you don’t necessarily want and you’re happy with the--.”
“Who said I don’t want those things?”
His tone was sharp and defensive though he hadn’t meant for it to be.
“Uh—you did.”
“No. I said it’s not something I can afford right now with my schedule and my contract extension. I didn’t say I never wanted it.”
You looked away from him to out the window. “Yeah, but your actions say a lot different,” you mumble.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Y/N, look at me. What does that mean?”
You sat quietly for a few moments then just when he was about to ask again you blurted.
“There is a difference between I don’t want it now and I don’t want it ever. Someone who wants it someday would leave themselves open to it rather than boxing every interaction they have into--other things.”
“What if I don’t want to open myself to it?”
“That’s clear Lew.”
“No. You don’t get it. What if I don’t want to open myself to it because I don’t want to find the perfect thing—the perfect woman and then be fucked because it’s too soon and too hard to keep her in my world to wait until I can make those commitments because my world is fucked—I’m fucked because I want the world and will actually keep going until I get it anyone else be damned.”
He could feel your eyes on him, and it was his turn to feel vulnerable and exposed.
“You think because you put everyone in one box it stops what’s meant to be from—being?”
He glanced at you with a pained expression, he knew it. He was actually feeling pain.
“Also—you’re not fucked because you want the world. I want the fucking world. Am I fucked?”
“To be determined.”
You both busted out laughing then. You laughed for a good minute then smiled as it tapered off.
“Aren’t you the tiniest bit lonely in the other side of your life—away from F1?”
He didn’t need to think about that. He knew the answer, but he didn’t want to tell you. The facts were that he was lonely more times than not. That was when he called someone to come distract him or make him feel good. He’d become an expert in the art of distraction. In his life, he only had time and the capacity for low stress and no mess. He had enough of both already.
He felt your hand creep into his and squeeze gently. Suddenly, there was all this other stuff again. The feel of your smaller hand in his larger one was something he really liked. Usually, when either of you took the other’s hand it was in passing or for a second, but the moment lingered and stretched, and still you kept your hand in his swirling your fingers against his palm and other fingers. He liked this too much.
“You can tell me. I won’t judge you. In fact—I’m lonely.”
His eyes slipped to you. Your head was down staring at your hands. It had now moved to trace the tattoos on his hand with the point of your nail as if his flesh were an adult coloring book. He watched you trace the rose on his pinky, then the planets on his ring finger. When you got to the lined arrow down his middle, he was having trouble swallowing again. Slowly, you traced the spaceship then went up across the sword until you reached his wrist.
He didn’t know if there was rhyme or reason to your movements or if you were just absently doing it. Goosebumps peppered his skin when you went up his forearm. He looked at you just before your eyes met his.
“You are?”
You nodded. “I am,” you whispered.
The air was on but inside the car easily felt like a sweltering 99 degrees. He didn’t know if it was from your touch or if it was the shift in the air between you. Did you notice it too?
“I think it’s okay to be lonely especially looking at how we live. We’re always working, always pushing ourselves to and through glass ceilings and when we do there is no one really there to share it with, not really, not in the way that fulfills,” you said.
Your face was closer to his now. Had he moved closer or was it you? Your eyes met again, and the temperature kicked up again. Fuck, he thought as his dick recklessly spasmed, begging for attention.
“I’m never lonely with you,” he said before his brain could stop his mouth.
A small smile lit your face, “Me too. Never with you.”
The smile slipped. “Well—not always.”
He turned to you more now, curiosity filling him. “What do you mean?”
You stayed quiet for a few moments but kept tracing his skin with your nail.
“There are times I can’t—guess what you’re thinking. Times I can’t—figure you out.”
“Then ask me.”
“Would you really tell me?”
He leaned closer. “I’d tell you anything.”
You searched his eyes, but you didn’t move back.
“Anything?”
He nodded slowly. His head felt hazy like you had him under some sort of spell with nothing more than your presence and the tip of your finger and all he truly wanted was to touch you in return. So he did. Reaching across to your exposed knee, he circled his finger around the smooth skin there. You sucked in a breath the moment his finger touched you and that one action nearly had him pulling you across the partition right onto his lap. Nearly.
So there on a hill that overlooked London, in his car, sitting near enough to a lone road light, you trailed your finger across his forearm while he did the same to your knee. The low light that illuminated the car bathed your skin in amber making him feel like you were on a whole different plane of existence rather than this real proven and tangible one. Your eyes held him in place to the point where he felt like he couldn’t move though he wanted to.
Without even realizing it you were mere inches from him. In fact, you were so close he could make out the hidden colors in your eyes, so close he could smell the fragrance on your skin that went deeper than perfume. This was your essence and by God he was intoxicated. Unable to stop himself, he inched his hand higher gripping your inner thigh. A soft moan fell from your lips and that was all it took for him to press his forehead to yours like the sound was tethered to his very core.
“Y/N,” he groaned.
The sheer might it was taking to keep himself restrained was becoming too much. At this point, it wouldn’t take much for him to abandon those restraints and give in.
“Lewis,” you whispered.
Your voice was raspy and dripping with what he dared label as desire. Fuck, he thought as he squeezed your thigh. He was so close, mere inches and it wouldn’t take much to close the gap between his fingers and your core but still, he fought himself. He was so wrapped up in his own battle for control within himself that he didn’t even realize when your hand rested on his upper thigh. You were dangerously close to kicking the lid off the box of other stuff that he’d worked years to keep shut. Half of him silently begged for you to keep going and kick it off so everything would be out in the open and it would be do or die but the other half of him hesitated still. The unknown was a powerful and sobering drug.
Your hand inched higher, then closer to what was the rock-hard physical evidence that deep down, now closer to the surface than ever before, he felt more, wanted more than what was. He wanted more than he could possibly afford. Still, his hand persisted, it inched higher making your hips jerk forward. The knowledge that he’d hit a sensitive spot sent his system into overdrive making a deep moan from his lips fill the car.
On cue in response, your legs opened a few inches more, making way for his hand. Jesus Christ he thought. There was his consent, you wanted him as he wanted you. There would be nothing wrong with him slipping his fingers underneath whatever underwear you wore. Fuck, he hoped they were lacy and strappy. There would be nothing wrong with him letting your hand slide to the aching dick straining against his pants begging for your attention. Shit, he bet your hands would feel incredible wrapped around him. There would be nothing wrong with him moving closer and finally claiming your lips as his. Damn, he just knew they were as sweet as they looked, that they felt amazing. There would be nothing wrong with him pulling your body against his for more than a clothed hug. There would be nothing wrong with him cupping your breasts and swirling his thumb across your nipple just to see the reaction it elicited. God damn it, he knew your moans would destroy him. There would be nothing wrong with him finally learning what you tasted like, nothing wrong with him finally smearing your wetness across his lips. Holy fuck, he knew you had to taste like pure sugar and cream.
His cock spasmed again then your hand made the move for him. In the same breath with his eyes squeezed tight, he lurched for your hand, gripping you by your wrist stopping you just before you touched him. As he did that his jaw clenched, the only thing he could do to stifle the moan at the tip of his tongue. It came out as a half groan and growl instead. The strangled whine that left you said you liked it, and he knew he had to end this here. It took him some time to find the smallest bit of control to open his eyes, but he didn’t possess enough control to look at you. There was no way he could.
“I’ll take you home,” he said, voice low and so close to a whisper.
He tried to keep the longing, regret, and hope from it. Slowly he removed his hand from your thigh hoping with everything in him that you grabbed it and nudged it higher. You didn’t though, so he turned forward readying himself to drive. You didn’t move for several long moments; you remained there half facing him with your thighs still tempting him to go back and take things further. With his hands on the steering wheel, he trained his eyes forward. He could feel all the antsy energy bouncing off every cell of his body, he could feel all the need in him wreaking havoc on him telling him to stop being a pussy and do what he really wanted to, say what he wanted to, take what he wanted.
His hands squeezed so tightly that the creaking of the leather echoed in the intense silence in the car. Just when he was about to say fuck it, you turned away from him. You softly cleared your throat then buckled yourself in. Sighing, he pushed started the ignition then swerved out of the parked spot they were in taking the route back to the city. As he drove you didn’t speak, you didn’t even move. You kept your head turned away from him looking out the passenger window with your legs crossed away from him. Your body language sent a completely different message now. Before you were open and so close to him. Now, you were so far he wondered if he’d turned Miles’ words into truths.
~~~~~
-Y/N- 8 Months Later-
The loud ‘pop’ of a champagne cork echoed just behind you making you spin in that direction. A group was just behind you laughing and toasting to something you guessed was momentous. You sighed then turned back to the painting you were currently studying. The abstract lines and swoops looked so similar to the slopes of a body. The longer you stared at it the more it felt like an erotic image than some random lines and swirls. There was something about it that stirred something in you, something that you’d ignored and buried so deep, something you hadn’t felt for 8 months.
You drained your champagne glass then squeezed your eyes shut. It had been a long 8 months. You’d worked your ass off times ten taking on more and more clients than before. You brought on 12 celebrity clients and 4 major corporate ones which brought Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw to the top of the field in revenue. You brought in so much money that you’d gotten 7 poaching offers from firms in different parts of the country.
Thanks to those offers that you hadn’t necessarily kept confidential, the interest in you for partner rose to unbeatable levels. Anyone you were competing against for the position paled in comparison. Those 8 months of ass-busting work led to your name being signed on the paperwork titling you as the new partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw. It was so much of a done deal that your bank account proudly embraced your new status.
With that new status came an increase in the events you had to make an appearance at as thee number 1 entertainment and criminal attorney in London. Your calendar quickly filled with meetings, speeches, appearances, court appearances, dinners, and more. You were so booked that the next time you had any schedule free time was 6 months away. You’d catapulted so far out of your original tax bracket that you’d shattered the glass ceiling that tried to confine you and now you wondered if you’d aimed too high.
“Looks like I’m right on time.”
You looked to your right and found Darius holding another glass of champagne for you. Smiling, you took it.
“That you are, thank you.”
“Of course. To you, the youngest and newest partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw and in the greater London area.”
You smiled as the man who’d stuck around through your insane schedule, your hot and cold behavior, your pull you close one minute, push you away the next, your disappearing acts, your reluctance to place a label on your interactions, your give me sex then get gone rule, and more for the last 8 months.
“Thank you, Darius,” you said leaning toward him and pressing your lips against his.
Darius moaned and reciprocated the kiss, snaking his hand around your waist and pulling you close. You felt like you were thanking him for much more than the toast and the fresh glass of champagne. You felt like you were thanking him for taking your bare minimum and it made you feel like shit.
Darius pressed his forehead to yours and instantly you had a flash back to the last man who’d done that to you. In a split second, your heart rate spiked, and an intense feeling gripped you.
“You don’t have to thank me, love.”
Your reaction to the action ricocheted through you making you pull away from Darius. Turning back to the painting, you gulped down the champagne.
“It’s crazy that your firm has so many celebrity clients and that this many are here to welcome you as partner,” Darius said in hushed tones.
“It is crazy.”
All night you’d been rubbing elbows with actors, musicians, models, athletes, and more. All of them congratulated you on your promotion and wished you greater success in the future. It was touching but a little bit overwhelming. You couldn’t let on though, so for the entire night you’d been performing, and you were nearing the limits of your stamina for it. You’d been performing for the last 8 months. Shit, you’d even been performing with Darius. You’d been performing ever since you were dropped off in those early morning hours those 8 months ago.
“Y/N,”
To your left, your paralegal now turned assistant, Kemi touched your elbow drawing your attention to her.
“Hey, girl.”
“Hey, you look incredible,” she said.
“Stop saying that please, you’re gonna blow my head up so big I just might start thinking I deserve a higher position.”
She giggled but gave you a look that said “well ya’ do.”
“The big wigs are asking for you, although you’re now one of them so--.”
You snorted while rolling your eyes. “Then doesn’t that make you the big wig assistant?”
She posed then making you laugh.
“I’ll be right back,” you said to Darius as you walked off to find those big wigs.
It didn’t take long before you found them surrounded by a group of about 10 people. When they saw you they waved you over with large smiles on their faces. You took a deep breath and approached them with an equally large smile.
“There she is ladies and gentlemen!”
The group smiled, patted your back, and welcomed you with friendly banter.
“Everyone!”
The music died down and someone handed Malcolm Boyd a microphone. He was your biggest fan, a black man who’d made unfathomable feats in the field and became an incredible mentor and second father to you. He put his arm around your shoulder as he always did.
“I am filled with great happiness and pride calling this woman the new partner here at Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw!”
Everyone began applauding then, drowning out his next words so he paused and allowed them a few moments before continuing.
“She has been with us for 6 years now and in those 6 years she has accomplished incredible things and when she was done with those incredible things she moved on to outstanding things. Y/N has reminded many of us of what it means to be determined and persistent. She tackles every case with poise, confidence, and grace and that confidence has given her that 99% win record.”
Again everyone clapped. You softly smiled at them half embarrassed by the praise but half so damn proud of yourself and happy that your accomplishments were being recognized.
“Just as Malcome said, “Patrick Halsey began placing his hand on Malcom’s shoulder, “Y/N more than deserves this promotion and I expect her to blow all of our minds in the coming months and years. We just might have to add another name to the plague.”
Many in the audience hollered and hooted at that and you couldn’t lie that the greedy ambition within you salivated at that possibility. You still wanted more. You exchanged a look with Malcome who gave you an all-knowing look. You just found your next accomplishment. The founding partners took turns praising you and giving reasons why you’d earned this promotion then raised their glasses to you for the ultimate toast of congratulations. You humbly thanked them and gave a quick appreciative speech before lifting your glass to the audience.
As you drank down the tart liquid, your eye caught sight of a figure you hadn’t seen in person for almost 2 months—Lewis. He stood at the back in a black suit that clearly was made for him. His braids were pulled back in the way he liked when he was tackling more professional events. He looked as good as ever. He lifted his glass of water to you and in response you gave him a tight smile.
The same thing happened that always happened when you met one another ever since that night. Your body went through this strange cycle of reaction, excitement, confusion, hurt, anger, annoyance, and disappointment. It was exhausting. Because of these feelings, you regretted that night. You regretted allowing your thoughts to go so astray that you opened up your ‘what if’ box. You regretted every whisper, every lean in, every almost touch, every lingering look, everything. You even regretted getting out of his car when he pulled up to your condo instead of pulling him by his hair to you and telling him to go upstairs with you. you didn’t know what you regretted more.
The worst part was that you had to continue on like always. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem because that night was not the first night there had been many ‘what if’ nights over your decade-long friendship. The common factor was that both of you moved on and slinked back into the basics of your relationship—comfort and friendship. This time is difficult, so difficult you contemplated passing his case off to another attorney. If it hadn’t been for Malcome talking you out of it he would have been someone else’s responsibility. Instead, you put on your big girl panties and a mask and did something you never thought you’d ever do with him—performed.
When the crowd thinned out and everyone returned to what they were doing you began making your way back to Darius in the opposite direction. You were ready to leave. Before you got far Lewis stepped in front of you stopping you in your tracks.
“Congratulations, Y/N.”
Smiling, you thanked him.
“You look--,” his words stalled as his eyes roamed your body. You noted the conflicted look on his face before it disappeared. “Incredible,” Lewis finished.
His compliment made your body warm and something like hope filled you. Chastising yourself you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you. You look nice too.”
Lewis scoffed softly then nodded. You then tried to slip by him, however, Lewis wasn’t having it. Again, he stepped in front of you.
“In a rush to get away from me?”
“Why would you say that? Have you done anything to me for me to want that?”
Silence stretched and Lewis studied you his jaw clenched tightly. Instead of speaking, he looked down, an act of defeat.
“Can we talk, Y/N?”
“We’re talking right now.”
He gave you an unamused look, but you kept your nonchalant, innocent one. Unexpectedly Miles approached then.
“There she is--partner lady. Congratulations Y/N.”
You smiled then hugged Miles. “Thank you!”
“This is incredible news, Y/N. So happy for you.”
“I appreciate that. Thank you for coming,” you replied.
“You know me, always this fool’s plus one.”
You smiled then the silence returned for a few seconds before Lewis spoke again.
“Maybe we can go somewhere—quiet after this?”
“Unfortunately I don’t think I can.”
“Why?”
Just then Darius approached and wrapped his arm around your waist resting his hand on your hip. You watched Lewis’ eyes drop to that hand and continued to watch as his jaw turned tight as if it filled with cement.
“Oh wow. Lewis Hamilton,” Darius said turning to you, his voice awestricken. “Babe it’s Lewis Hamilton.”
You nodded as a soft smile played on your lips. “Let me introduce you. Darius, this is one of my clients, Lewis Hamilton, and his best friend Miles Chamley-Watson fencing champion and Olympian. Miles, Lewis this is my—.”
You hesitated and in the same second, you felt Darius’ eyes on you filled with hope. Two other pairs of eyes were on you--one giving complete double eyeball emoji and the other searing you almost daring you to continue. The longer you didn’t speak, you watched Darius’ hope turn to disappointment. Glancing back at Lewis you found his eyebrow up with a curious and confrontational look while Miles was the epitome of if ‘well this is awkward’ was a person.
“This is Darius Forrester.”
You felt even more like shit now. Darius shook Lewis’ hand first then Miles’. While he did Lewis looked him over sizing him up. You knew he was wondering if he was the same man from those months ago when you’d told him you were on a date.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m a fan,” Darius said to Lewis.
“Thank you. I appreciate that. I can sign something for you if you want.”
You rolled your eyes at his underhanded jab while a half chortle escaped Miles. Darius on the other hand leapt at the opportunity, handing Lewis the only thing he had, an art bidding ballot. Lewis signed the back but kept his eyes on Darius’ hand on your hip.
“Bidding on some art tonight?”
“I am. There is a piece this gorgeous angel has been staring at all night, it’ll be my gift to her for her promotion,” Darius explained rubbing your hip.
You smiled at him then kissed his cheek. Lewis now looked entertained while Miles’ eyes widened as he finished the drink in his hand.
“Ehm, anyway. So I’m sorry I can’t pencil you in tonight but if you call Kemi and make an appointment she’ll get you on the calendar for a different day for that talk,” you said.
“Plans tonight,” Miles guessed looking between you and Darius.
“Absolutely. I’ve had way too much to drink and plan on taking advantage of that.”
You leaned closer to Darius kicking up your performance another notch. Lewis smirked but also clenched his jaw to that. Miles whistled while nodding his head.
“Go on then Ms. Partner, fly by the seat of your panties or no panties,” Miles teased making you and Darius chuckle while Lewis gave him an unamused look.
“Well, enjoy your evening gentlemen. Thank you again for coming by,” you said before you made a move to walk off with Darius.
As you walked away you placed your hand over Darius’ and slyly slipped it lower to rest on your ass. You knew Lewis was watching and decided to deliver the last blow. Was it petty? Yes. Was it fair to Daius? Not at all.
The next hour or so passed with you roaming around the gallery looking at the art while Darius flirted with you. As you roamed, no matter where you went you saw Lewis from the corner of your eye and no matter how much space was between you, your skin reacted as if Darius’ touch was his. The more you felt that way the reality that Darius’ touch was in fact all his own annoyed you making you feel even worse. You knew what needed to be done and knew it had to be done soon.
The only way you could distract yourself was with glass after glass of champagne. As you emerged from one of your countless trips to the bathroom you bumped into Miles.
“Funny bumping into you here.”
You smiled warmly, “Still here? I thought you and Lewis left hours ago.”
“You knew we were still here,” he accused.
You tried to give an affronted look but failed. He was right. Sighing, your act fell for the first time that night.
“Wow. Feels good to not perform huh.”
You looked at Miles and wondered just how much he knew. He didn’t keep you in suspense long.
“What a twisted web we weave when we practice to deceive.” He scoffed, shook his head then continued, look, I am going to tell you the same thing I told Lewis.”
You perked up then but tried to play it off.
“You better stop playing before somebody gets hurt and by the looks of it, it’s gonna be your homeboy Darius if not all three of you.”
You took in his words then put your mask back in place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah you do, just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”
Your curiosity peaked then. “What are you talking about Miles? What do you think you know?”
He scoffed. “I’m a straightforward kinda guy so I’ll say I know everything. As the neutral 3rd party who is both on the outside looking in and the inside watching this train wreck, I know everything. I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”
Your eyes lingered and the longer they did the more you got his meaning. Glancing away you tried to pretend like his words meant nothing, but you knew you were failing.
“I get it, I really do; 10 years is a long time to put at risk but are you really putting it at risk knowing all you know? You have 10 years of proof. Man up.”
Miles leaned in, kissed your cheek, and whispered, “Let homeboy go so he can find someone who really loves him, someone who can love him. Your corner is full.”
With that, he walked away leaving you speechless and confused. Your corner was full? You had no idea whatsoever what that meant, and you were tempted to follow Miles and get some clarification, but you decided against it remembering the last time you chased down the rabbit hole. When you found Darius again his expression was somber when he told you that the painting he’d been bidding on was outbid and that he didn’t have it to gift you. After assuring him you were fine, you decided you were more than ready to leave.
Darius got the car as you waited outside allowing the cold air to cool your skin. You didn’t care that you were risking illness because it served as a needed distraction. When you felt a fabric drape over your shoulders you bristled at first but then Lewis’ scent circled you and your body relaxed. Even that annoyed you.
“I don’t need this. Darius will be back soon anyway.”
Lewis snorted. “8 months, is that a record?”
“I think it’s a record for you, but I’ve gone longer.”
He scoffed then shook his head. “No doubt, remember Y/N. I will be here long after you get bored with them all. I’m always here.”
Your eyes locked and his should have been radiating cockiness that matched his words, but instead, they were gentle, open, and vulnerable.
“Will you?”
There was no time to reply because a car horn blared drawing your attention. Darius waved at you as he got out of the car to walk around to the passenger side.
“Good night Lewis.”
You walked away from him then slipped into the passenger side. As you waited for Darius to get in and drive off, you stared at Lewis who hadn’t budged from the curb where you left him. Miles’ words echoed back to you then.
“Just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”
“You have 10 years of proof.”
“Your corner is full.”
The word ‘full’ echoed over and over as Darius pulled off. Bullshit, you said to yourself in disbelief.
When Darius pulled up to your condo you sat there marinating in all your thoughts throughout the nearly thirty-minute drive. It wasn’t until you felt Darius’ hand on your exposed knee did you realize he was still there.
“Are you okay? Want me to come up?”
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “We need to talk Darius.”
When you looked at him his expression said he knew just what you were about to say. Being as gentle as you could, you ended things. Although the old “it’s not you it’s me” line fit the situation perfectly. You dug a little deeper and gave him and heartfelt reason without revealing you were and had been in love with your best friend for 10 years and didn’t realize it until his feelings were already on the line. When you finished, Darius remained the good guy he was and told you he understood and that he’d expected this sooner or later. You thanked him for being good to you then began making your way to the elevators.
Halfway there you dug into the pocket of the jacket you wore and froze. When you took your hand out you held a note with your name sprawled on the front in Lewis’ handwriting.
-Y/N-
I’ve thought for months about what to say to you because there is so much to say, so much that has gone unsaid for so long that I don’t know where to start—how to start. 10 years is a long time especially when neither of us has been 100% honest with the other. I want to end that. Please.
-Lewis
You read then reread the note over and over hoping you would know what to do next but no matter how many times you did, you had nothing. So you walked back and forth in the lobby. When your phone sounded, you found a message from Lewis.
MSG Lewis: Ball’s in your court. I’m outside your building.
You froze then slowly turned and saw his car. It had been months since you’d been in a car with him and the thought of doing it again freaked you out a little. Your eyes met at that moment, but he didn’t move. He was giving you the time to decide for yourself. You turned your back to him then walked to the elevators but stopped halfway. After a few moments, you turned back around and walked to the doors only to stop halfway again and repeat the whole cycle. Still, Lewis didn’t budge. He just watched as your internal debate played out physically.
After ten minutes you stooped down and put your down, completely exhausted by your indecisiveness. Taking a deep breath, you held it and allowed your lungs to adjust. It was an action you often did to help you think and calm down. As your oxygen levels decreased your heartbeat would slow and as it did, there was always one particular beat where you figured it all out. It usually came right in the nick of time.
So you allowed your heartbeat to slow and though you should have panicked you didn’t. You thought clearer than you’d ever thought before.
“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”
Miles’ words came back to you again and it was then you gasped filling your lungs with air. After a few breaths, you stood then turned to the doors. It worked all the time. With your head high and back straight you walked toward them then climbed inside Lewis’ car. Without a word, he pulled off then turned back onto the streets.
~~~~~~
Thirty minutes later you walked into a penthouse suite right behind Lewis.
“Why here?”
“Thought neutral ground would make you more comfortable.”
You scoffed and beelined right to the bar, tossing his suit jacket over the back of one of the bar stools. As you mixed yourself a drink you tried not to focus on him, but you did. No matter where he went you knew. You were hypersensitive to him at this point. You’d only meant to make a glass but ended up making a whole shaker cup. You kicked off your heels, climbed onto the bar stool then plopped yourself on the countertop. Once comfortable you crossed your legs and sipped your drink.
“Where’s Darius?”
“Not here obviously.”
“You and I are so alike it’s insane,” he said as he approached you, but he didn’t come close. He stopped at the sectional couches in the middle of the large living area and then sat.
The silence in the room was thick for such a long time you began thinking about leaving altogether.
“Congratulations again. I’m so fucking proud of you. You saw something you wanted and didn’t stop until you got it. You deserve this.”
Your stomach flipped hearing his praise. More than anyone he knew what you’d gone through to get here. It touched you. Looking away from him, you cleared your throat. “Thanks.”
His eyes remained on you as if daring you to look back at him. It was a dare you had to accept. Your eyes locked and you instantly felt it. There was so much to say. Just behind him, you saw something familiar. Squinting, you made out the painting you’d been staring at all night, the painting Darius wanted to bid on for you. It clicked then, the reason why Darius couldn’t win it was because Lewis claimed it first. You scoffed, the man was competitive and dominant to a fault. You couldn’t help but be touched by the gesture though.
Lewis sighed bringing your eyes back to him, “I don’t even know where to start,” groaned, rubbed his eyes then spoke again. “Maybe I’m sorry is a good place.”
You studied him for a few moments then took a mouthful of your drink. “For what?”
“You know for what.”
That night.
Those words hung in the air, and you did your best to remain aloof. Scoffing, you shook your head. “It’s all good Lewis.”
“You’re lying and you know it. I thought attorneys believed in the truth.”
“Who are you to tell me what my truth is?!”
You hadn’t meant to shout it, but you did.
“Because more times than not our truths match up and I am sure that what happened was not all good to you because it wasn’t to me.”
“And what exactly wasn’t all good to you?”
“The way we—I left things,” he quietly said.
You waited for him to continue because there was no way in hell you were going to make this easy for him. He wanted to talk so he’d talk. Lewis shook his head then hung it backward. He sat there staring into the ceiling for almost a full minute before he looked back at you.
“I just—flipped when we were—you were—you wanted--,” he stuttered.
You scoffed again, “Don’t flatter yourself, Lewis,” you said slipping into the barstool and spinning it around so your back faced him.
“What?”
“You and I both know that none of that meant anything to you. It’s all good.”
“Now who’s telling who what their truth is?”
You didn’t take the bait, instead, you kept your back to him and finished your glass.
“You forget, I know you, Lewis. 10 years of friendship and I know you so well that it was my own damn fault that night.”
“Whatdaya know?”
After refilling your glass you turned back around then hopped off the stool and walked toward the large floor-to-ceiling window. “I know that that you were with one of your rotation chicks before you came to pick me up. I smelled her on you. That fruity aroma was all her. I know that because of that tidbit of info, none of it meant anything.”
Leaning against the window you stared down at the view of London. Lights glistened down below, and you imagined everyone scurrying to where they had to go so wrapped up in their own thoughts or existence to even suspect that it all was fleeting.
“Okay, I’ll own that bit. Yeah, I was with one of them but that was only after I found out you were on a date.”
“So it’s my fault. I was on a date living my life, so you decided to get your dick wet. Okay.”
You took another sip from your glass not liking the direction of this little talk he wanted to have.
“I never said it was your fault. It’s just a fact. I texted you because I wanted to see you, wanted to spend time with you and you were spending time with someone else, someone you probably did God knows what with hours before you saw me.”
And with that, you were done here. Finishing the glass you turned and walked to the door.
“Good night Lewis.”
He scurried in front of you blocking your path. “Wait, please. Shit! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Two sorries in the span of twenty minutes, cool. Get out of my way.”
“No, Y/N, please wait.”
You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I’m sick and tired of waiting. I’ve waited 10 years!”
“You’ve waited? I’ve—.”
Lewis threw his hands up then walked away grunting and talking to himself. He looked insane and it kind of made you pleased seeing it. He always appeared so in control, so aware of himself and his actions at all times. It had all gone to shit now. You stood there debating if you should just leave and let things remain how they were until the day you both just stopped talking and checking in and it ended up going on for another 10 years until you were just people who used to know one another, people who’d missed out on something. It was then you realized you weren’t wearing shoes.
“Shit,” you whispered.
“I wanted you that night. I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anyone, including anyone in the rotation. Do you know what I was doing while you were on your date?”
“Getting your dick wet. I know.”
“I was lying on Julissa’s bed as she gave me head.”
You scoffed, “Of course you were.”
“She’d been going for 40 minutes and still I was barely hard. No matter what she did, no matter the tricks, no matter how nice it felt, barely hard. I was lying on her bed with my dick in her mouth thinking about you on your fucking date.”
You looked at him then. Those were words you hadn’t expected.
“My mind went crazy thinking what was happening. The longer that went by without you texting me the thoughts killed me. As soon as I got your message I left. No other thought, just you. I prayed to God that the date didn’t go well enough for you to let him upstairs. Then I saw what you were wearing, and I couldn’t believe I was jealous. I was jealous.”
“Why?”
Lewis looked at you then. “Because he got to see you like that. You’d dressed up for him, wanted to turn him on with that outfit. He’d spent the entire night with you. He’d had what I wanted.”
Well shit, you thought before walking back to the bar. Rather than making another drink, you took up a bottle of champagne and brought it to your lips.
“Do you know what it feels like to want someone so bad that it fucks with you and everything you do? To want someone more than you’ve wanted anything. To want someone in a way that is new to you, so new that it scares you. Do you know what it feels to have this crippling fear every time that someone is in your grasp, but not being able to resist the temptation, the desire to make them yours? Do you know what it feels like to know that you only burn this bright, this hot, this dangerous with one person, and the burn is all-consuming?”
He looked almost hysterical now. “Do you know what it feels like to want the perfect someone for you? I’m talking molded for you in every way while knowing it’s not the right time for you because you both want too much from the world and because you know that because you burn so hot, so bright that you’ll burn each other if either of you ever let go and let it happen? To know you are so similar that you will either destroy each other or ruin one another for anyone else.”
The look on his face was so damn relatable. He’d just said everything you’d thought over the last 10 years. Everything.
“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me.”
He was practically ranting now. Spewing every single thing that he’d ever thought, confessing it all.
“So because of all that you try to keep up pretenses that you’re friends and nothing more though you have countless moments where you slip up and stare at them too long, or hold them in your arms from a hug for half a minute too long, or let your hand linger in theirs or around their waist to test boundaries because you just can’t not touch them, or even find reasons to do every single thing together. You take those 2 steps forward not realizing you do because the pull is too strong, then you freak out and leap back 5 steps. You do this for weeks, months, years until 10 of them have passed and you have this huge box you’d filled with all the other stuff between you that you can’t express or fess up to until that box just gets stirred by one action, one moment--one night.”
His eyes were locked on yours. Somehow he’d traveled across the room to the bar and was standing right in front of you. Somehow he’d locked you in the frame of his arms leaving you nowhere to run. Somehow he’d managed to inflate your chest with hope right beside your thundering heart.
“Then suddenly—everything has changed, and nothing can be the same ever again,” he finished, his voice a whisper in the completely silent room.
You watched his eyes lower to your lips and your gut flipped again.
“Do you know what any of that feels like, Y/N?”
There were only mere inches between you now and the sheer proximity of his body to yours made you shiver.
“H—how long—have you—felt this way?”
Your voice quivered in a way that made it obvious to him what his nearness was doing to you.
“10--fucking years,” Lewis replied eyes glued to yours.
He took one step to you, “I’ve spent the last 8 months cleaning my life, cleaning my circle because I’ve gotten to the point where I could no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. You’re number one, Y/N.”
You were frozen in place, unsure what to say, and even more unsure what to do. He was right, your truths usually did line up and this was no different.
“And I know it scares you, shit it scares me too. All of this does. I know my life is insane and yours is about to be even more so, I get you still have things you want to accomplish; I saw your face when Halsey mentioned adding your name to the plaque. You want it and I want it for you as well as the world for both of us. Our timing can’t be any worse, but something has got to give, love, because I can’t take another year let alone 10 of this.”
You took a deep, ragged breath.
“Where--,” Lewis began before stopping and chewing his top lip.
It was a nervous tick. “Where do I—stand—with you?”
For 10 years he’d been so hard to read, so nearly impossible to gauge, and here right now in the darkness of the room you could see him as clear as day. He was oh so transparent and scared you’d reject him. Scared you’d decide he was more trouble than he was worth. Scared he’d just showed you his heart and ruined your friendship in the process. Without realizing it you were crying; you felt a tear roll down your cheek.
Sniffling, you wiped it away, “Ehm, I broke up with Darius tonight.”
Lewis looked shocked. Clearly, he thought you were still together.
“Why?”
You wiped the other tear that fell from your eye then looked away from him. All of a sudden the room felt smaller than it was, it felt as if the walls were closing in on you. Lewis cupped the back of your head cradling your skull in his palm making you look him in the eyes.
“Why?”
“For the last 8 months, I’ve been hot and cold with him, I pulled him close one minute then the next pushed him away, I disappeared a lot always using work as the excuse. I was busy, yeah, but it wasn’t work. I was always so reluctant to put a label on what we were doing, every time he brought it up I changed the subject never giving him the answer he wanted. Even when we had sex--.”
Lewis took a deep breath, dropped his head, and harshly released it, clearly displeased with confirmation that he’d had you that way, but you continued.
“Even then it was usually always on my terms, and I always wanted him to leave right after. I was—I was always thinking about someone else, something else instead of him, and for 8 months I never felt anything remotely close to what I felt that night with him. over the months every time I saw you it hacked at whatever was going on between me and him until tonight seeing you again it just--.”
You flicked your five fingers indicating an explosion. I’ve become hypersensitive to you, and I don’t know when it happened. It dawned on me that—I was using Darius and it wasn’t fair.”
Lewis searched your eyes not hiding the hurt in his. You took a step towards him. “You’re right about a few things. Our timing couldn’t be any worse.”
He nodded.
“Our truths usually always line up.”
Lewis looked hopeful then.
“Your life is insane.”
The hope faltered.
“I do want my name on that plaque, and I will get it.”
A small smile crooked his lips.
Another tear rolled down your cheek and again you wiped it away, “I can also no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. Always has been because you’re my number one.”
He clenched his jaw then and the emotion that washed over his face rocked you. Like an earthquake rocking the Earth’s surface.
“I am scared.”
As this tear rolled, Lewis was the one to reach out and gently wipe it with the pad of his thumb. Your lip quivered.
“I’m so scared.”
Lewis pushed forward then, crashing his lips to yours in one swift move. Once your lips met neither of you went slow. The kiss was frenzied from the beginning, both of you wanting it all and not wanting to waste any more time taking it. As his tongue rolled with yours you closed the space between you pressing your body against him. Lewis softly moaned, wrapping his arms around you. When you bit down on his bottom lip he groaned then walked you backward until your back collided with the edge of the bar. Trapping you there once again, he kissed you without holding a thing back and your body responded to him instantaneously.
In a matter of seconds, you both were moaning against each other and completely wrapped up in the new feelings that were consuming you. Lewis cupped your face as he kissed you then ran his hands down to your neck. You couldn’t deny that this felt even better than you imagined. Moaning, you clutched his waist but when that didn’t suffice, you slowly slid your hands up along his toned abs, over his chest taking in the bulge of muscle there. When you wrapped them around his neck, Lewis pressed more persistently against you.
“Mmmm!”
Lewis tore his lips from you and put his forehead to yours. “Fuck, I don’t want to get too carried away. I’m sorry I should have asked first.”
“Consent fucking given,” you said before you crashed your lips to his.
This time you took control. Swirling your tongue with his you didn’t give him time to react or gain the upper hand. You wanted to taste him, and you refused to wait any longer. Teasing his lips, you nibbled his bottom one, taking your time to sensually suck on it until he moaned against you. The vibration shot through you making you feel like you’d only now just begun to truly feel. Lewis’ hands roughly gripped your hips, holding you steady so you could feel that you weren’t the only one finally feeling for the first time.
Heightening both if your pleasure, you sucked his tongue until he groaned. The next thing you knew Lewis’ had you by the hips lifting you onto the bar top. You wrapped your thighs around him and nearly came when you felt his hands pry your legs apart. The heat radiating off of his hand on your bare thigh reminded you of the night in his car and you prayed he didn’t stop again.
As if reading your mind, Lewis met your eyes while he slid his hand higher and higher and higher until his fingers crawled to your inner thigh. Softly he raked his manicured nails against your skin forcing a whimper from you. You bit down on your bottom lip and silently willed yourself not to cum from the anticipation. Suddenly the back of Lewis’ fingers brushed against your sex. Your gasp was loud, breathy, and stretched out as he took his time moving centimeter by centimeter until he’d trapped your clit between his pointer and middle finger. Your jaw dropped all the while he held your gaze.
When he tightened his fingers and rubbed against you, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You knew then he was dangerous, and you were going to cum.
“F—ha—fu-huck!”
Your back arched, head fell back as your body moved like it were possessed. Each spasm of pleasure had you bucking against his fingers until you could hardly breathe.
“My god you’re so fucking beautiful when you cum, love.”
You giggled and moaned as the tremors worked their way through you. “Mmm, orgasms and compliments, a girl could get used to this,” you cooed.
“Good. This is your future.”
Lewis moved his hand, brought them to your thighs then lifted them. As he planted your heels at the edge of the bar, you knew what he wanted. Your eyes dropped to his lips then you moaned. Pulling your dress away from your legs you allowed them to fall back to the bar showing him not only gymnasts were flexible.
“Oh fuck,” Lewis groaned.
You watched his eyes drop to your sex and the look on his face was unlike any you’d ever seen. No one had looked at you like this before. He stared where your thighs met like it was the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen, the first of its kind and something he wanted to completely destroy. You now felt like prey spread before him like this, like at any moment he was going to pounce on you.
“Mmm.”
Lewis came closer and closer until he rested on his elbows and was just inches from your sex. The anticipation was killing, and he had to know it.
“I knew you were a lacy knickers kind of woman,” he muttered.
“I take it you’re a lacy knickers kind of man.”
“On you, fuck yes.”
With that, Lewis hooked his thumbs in your underwear and pulled them to the side. He blew out a breath in reaction to seeing you bare for the first time and that breath fucked you up all over again. You threw your head back trying to calm your anxieties, but just when you met his eyes again you found his tongue out sliding against your wet folds.
Oh—my—goooood!”
Lewis moaned and did it again and again until he circled your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Mmmm.”
Lewis pressed your thighs back keeping them spread then went to town. If you’d ever doubted before that his mouth game was incredible you didn’t now. He licked, flicked, and sucked along your flesh making your back remain in a prolonged arch. Within seconds you were whining and writhing as his tongue worked literal fucking magic. The sound of Lewis’ slurping echoed in the living room and that was when your hands grabbed his head. Pulling his hair free you held on and bucked against his mouth.
“Mmm.”
He stuck his tongue out and let you take over. With every buck against his tongue, you called his name and the more the tip of his tongue flicked your clit the more out of control you felt. Your release was so close your body moved more wildly needing it at all costs.
“I’m gonna cum Lewis.”
“Cum for me, Y/N!”
You didn’t need to be told more than once and when you were right on the precipice you felt Lewis slid two digits inside of you. Just like that, your orgasm morphed from a toe-curling release to soul snatching one. You screeched as your body convulsed but he didn’t stop then, he pumped his fingers in and out of you then added a third finger stretching you wide.
“Uuuugh fuck!”
You barely finished your words before Lewis threw you over his shoulder, keeping his fingers inside of you. As he walked through the suite his fingers kept fucking you, readying you for him. When your back met the soft sheets of the mattress, Lewis still hadn’t broken contact. He watched you now as you lay there unable to control your body.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Pulling his fingers free he cleaned two of them off before you sprang to your knees to claim the third. As you sucked his finger you kept your eyes on his. You could see how badly he wanted you, how much he wanted from you, and you couldn’t believe he’d held back all this time. You took your time sliding each button through its slot until his shit was wide open. When you pushed it off of him you took in a sight you’d seen plenty of times only now it was different.
You brought your hands to feel across his torso marveling at each defined ab muscle and each tattoo. When you intentionally rubbed against his beaded nipple you noted the way his Adam’s apple bobbed. How had you never noticed your effect on him? How had you never taken it seriously? Bringing your hands back to his waist you undid his pants. You brushed your palm against the protruding mass straining against his pants which made him shiver as he grunted.
“Oops.”
Lewis scoffed then licked his lips and that was all it took for him to claim back some of the control you possessed over this exchange.
“Of course, you’re a fucking tease.”
You innocently smiled. “I haven’t even begun to tease you.”
“I bet.”
Lewis snuck forward kissing you one peck at a time, over and over.
“Mm, can you take it?”
“Any other night my answer would be yes, hell in an hour my answer will be yes but right now--.”
He cupped your sex with on hand and the back of your neck with the other.
“Mmm.”
“Right now, I have no control left. I’ve remained in control around you for 10 years and right now I just want to let it all go. I want to bury myself so deep inside of you there is no mistake that we belong to each other bad timing or not. It’s you and me, Y/N.”
You groaned as his words only increased the wetness between your legs. You kissed him again, then you turned your back to him and swayed your body against him. Lewis dropped a kiss to your shoulder as his hand crept around to cup the underside of your breast. You leaned forward getting on all fours with your ass poking out to him.
“Undo me?”
He didn’t move for a few moments, and you waited for him to enjoy the view. When you felt his hand rub against your ass you dipped your back lower which only made your ass poke out more. Lewis trailed his hand along your spine that the backless gown proudly showed off. Then he went to your tailbone and lowered the zipper of the dress. Peeping over your shoulder, your eyes locked as you allowed the dress to fall away from your body.
His groan was low—primal. It was all you needed to hear to know he liked the strappy number you wore that was made of fine lace. You expected him to take his time but instead, you felt him peel off the garment leaving you completely naked before him for the first time ever.
“You’re so wet for me, Y/N. So wet and so fucking perfect.”
You spread your legs further then stretched your arms over your head using your head to hold you up. As expected, Lewis flipped you onto your back making you giggle. You roamed your hands over your body, cupping your breasts then sliding them down your abdomen to your dripping core. The entire time, Lewis kept his eyes on every move you made while he pulled his pants and underwear off.
When he stood bare before you, your surprise could not be masked. You didn’t know what you’d expected in your late-night thoughts about what he was packing but you had no way of expecting this. Lewis gripped his length then slowly stroked it as he pressed a knee onto the mattress.
“Scared?”
You bit your bottom lip as you gawked at what the good lord blessed him with. It was unfair and completely intimidating.
“Now I see why everyone in the rotation was so happy being one of many.”
He snorted, bringing his other knee to the mattress between. Slowly he stalked closer like a predator with a deadly weapon in hand.
“There is no rotation anymore.”
“Oh yeah. The LH44 Harem has been disbanded?”
As he crept closer, you slid backward.
“You’re not funny.”
“So am I the first to usher in a new era—a new harem?”
Lewis grabbed your ankle then pulled you back to him making the backs of your thighs slam into the fronts of his. He then hovered over you before dropping an opened mouth kiss on your nipple. Sucking the peak into his mouth he sucked raising your back off of the bed.
“You’re in no harem. I told you, it’s you—and me,” he said nibbling your flesh.
Stared at him letting it all sink in. You brought your hand to his bearded cheek and rested it there.
“Are we really doing this? Like—for real?”
Lewis boxed your face in with his muscular arms and stared into your eyes. “I’ve told you where I stand, Y/N. I’ve told you everything that’s in here.”
He took your hand and placed it over the roaring lion etched on his skin keeping his hand over yours.
“It’s time you tell me what’s in here,” he finished placing his other hand over your left breast.
“You,” you whispered.
“I love you, Y/N.”
Before you could react or even respond Lewis thrust forward sending the tip of his hardness inside of you, stealing your breath, and every thought. A breathy gasp filled the air. Slowly he pushed forward, leisurely filling you giving you time to adjust to his size.
“Haaaa.”
Lewis kept his hand over your heart while holding yours over his as he filled you inch by tortuous inch never taking his eyes off yours. Your entire being was on fire like he was pouring molten lava inside of you with every inch he gave you.  
“Oh fu—Lewis,” you panted.
From the way his jaw was clenched, and eyes focused intently on you, you could tell he was feeling everything you were.
“How are you so tight?”
Digging your nails into his chest you tightened your leg around his waist and as if that was his last straw, Lewis flicked his hips forward filling you completely and tearing a scream from both of your lips. Neither of you moved for several moments but with every second that passed by your body blazed. Bucking against him, you slid your hand up to his throat and then gripped it.
“I love you. Fuck me. Now!”
Those words would be your ruin because he did just that without mercy and complete recklessness. Your moans and whimpers melded together rising in decibel and power until the entire room shook with the power of your screams for one another. As he plowed inside of you he didn’t go slow, he followed his basal instincts that were imprinted in his DNA, a need to claim, and dominate.
You’d never felt so out of control in your life. No matter how he fucked you, you couldn’t get enough. No matter how deep he went you wanted him deeper. No matter how he called your name you wanted him to scream it. You wanted every fucking thing he had. You wanted to leave him in shambles. When he flipped you onto your stomach like you weighed nothing, he held your ass in the air and fucked you so thoroughly you’d lost track of how many times you came. It didn’t matter because you wanted more.
He must have been able to read your mind because there was no way he could tell what you needed this soon, you thought to yourself as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you back, so he had your upper body hovering above the mattress.
“Oh my god, I’m cumming Lewis! Ooh shiiiiiit!”
He took advantage of this new angle and circled his hips as he jackhammered into you, fucking you as you did something you’d never done before—squirted. You screamed from the force of your release, but Lewis didn’t stop, he fucked you through it then torpedoed you into another one that you knew would tear you apart. Racing for it, you slammed yourself back into him relishing the mix of pain and pleasure that only intensified when Lewis bit down on your shoulder.
“You got one more for me, darlin? Cum for me. Soak this dick, pretty girl, drench me so I can fill that pretty pussy up.”
“Aaah!”
You clenched around him as you lost yourself and fell off the cliff and into an endless pit of pleasure. You felt Lewis spasm inside of you before he cursed and shouted his release doing just what he promised. Filling your pretty pussy up.
When the two of you finally collapsed on the bed Lewis held you to him spooning you while still being nestled inside of you. Bit by bit you came back to your body and slowly your body went from violent shakes to subtle tremors and a hazy feeling washed over you. Lewis peppered kisses along your neck and shoulder nipping your skin every now and then.
“Mmm. Oh my god!”
He snorted. “You good?”
“Good? Am I good? Are you—at the risk of swelling your head even more than it already is that was--.”
“Was?”
You searched for the words but couldn’t find the right ones. “It was,” you settled on making him laugh as he held you tighter.
“Naw, I was alright, you—you were,” he said making you snort.
“Shut up.”
“No, I’m being for real for real. It’s a miracle I held on that long, you feel unbelievable, so good, too good. You—are!”
You giggled then moaned, sleepiness creeping up on you.
“Don’t you dare fall asleep, I’m nowhere near done with you.”
His manhood inside of you lurched nudging your g-spot and just like that your eyes snapped wide open.
“Watch yourself, I know your weakness now.”
“You?”
“Nope, this pussy.”
Lewis snorted then flipped you onto your stomach again. This time he straddled you as he slowly pulled out of you only to plunge right back in.
“Mmm.”
“Still so damn tight,” Lewis groaned.
“You’re welcome to try stretching me out.”
Lewis jerked his hips forward delivering a bruising thrust as punishment for your your sassy mouth. It was a thrust that took your breath and made you go cross-eyed.
“Mmm, yes!”
“Oh, aren’t you full of surprises. Pretty girl likes it rough and hard.”
He did it again and again, making you hit the bed each time as you buried your face in the sheet to muffle your screams.
“God yes, Lewis!”
“So fucking alike,” Lewis said before lowering his lips to your ear. “Remember I love you 'cause I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”
Not waiting for a reply he held your arms to the bed then delivered on his promise. Everyone else was number 2 compared to you being each other’s number 1. Nothing else mattered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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cruciomione · 5 months
Text
"fixing" the panic attack scene to be more platonic ™
im extremely active on twt and have been noticing a sydcarmy tweet go viral multiple times a week (like w thousands of interactions its crazy), and its really great to see how much people love and see it for this ship. recently carmys panic attack scene went viral again, and naturally, some ppl gave their piece about how we are all dumb for interpreting it as romantic. that sydney represents his love for his job or his duty to the restaurant (*sigh*).
this scene imo, is the most concrete proof of this ship. i can excuse (not really) interpreting every interaction between them thus far as platonic but this scene....i just refuse. this is gonna be a long post, not analyzing the scene per se because i can't possibly say anything that hasn't already been said but more "fixing" the scene to fit the narrative of antis, and i hope in doing so really shows there's no other way to interpret this scene as other than romantic. again its gonna be a long post bc im just ranting and i think i will lose my mind if i dont type this out.
lets go.
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so first off i like to think of this scene as an equation/experiment. simply a problem that needs to be solved.
problem/reason of panic = ...we will discuss this...
solution # 1 = claire -> failed
solution # 2 = sydney -> worked.
Problem/Reason
s02e09 opens up with carmy and claire finally consummating their relationship, with an interesting song choice might i add and carmy dissociating, looking sad, or broken (???) after. because many have said carmy pulling memories of sydney from his psyche to calm down have to do with work i always remember that, it really doesnt make any sense?
carmy is clearly having a panic attack due to him not being "fixed" as soon as he made it official with claire. he felt pressure from his family both currently and in the past to date claire because she is amazing and perfect. add mikey also being a part of that crowd, and carmy so desperately trying to connect with him when he cannot, is why i think he looks so despondent after that scene. i truly think he thought he would be a changed person after everything with claire and when that didn't happen he flipped...
we know this is the reason bc his panic attack starts with their sex scene and the lyric "I dont know" from strange currencies by REM.
this isn't to say that he isn't nervous or stressed about the soft open but its clear that he's not having a panic attack about work nor have we ever seen him have a work-related panic attack (correct me if I'm wrong). in s1 he has one or two due to him greiving his brother.
platonic fix: To make it about work I would have added scenes like when Carmy started that stove fire in braciole, his meltdown in review, some scenes of his horrible time at EMP, and him grieving his brother. i think these would represent his fear of failure, falling back into old toxic habits pertaining his career, the fear of fostering a toxic work environment like the ny chef and also the idea of "failing" mikey
but theres a reason why none of this occurs bc its not about his job or the opening of the bear. this is explicitly about his personal and romantic love life.
Solution # 1 : Claire
carmy proceeds to try and calm down by thinking of claire through literal rose-coloured glasses...
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the music is distorted, he's thinking of his abusive family, he remembers every one pushing him to date claire bc shes a #goodthing.
again...this is not about his job and wouldnt make sense to think of sydneys place in his work life as a soultion to his clear personal problem....
platonic fix: in the story of carmys love life claire and sydney act as narrative foils. they have been compared and contrasted for all of s2. my platonic fix for this would be making the NY chef this first "solution" of a work-related panic attack. he represents a horrible time in his life but also represents a time when carmy was at the height of his career. when carmy gets locked in the walk in and has his monologue, its alluded to that he will revert back to that mind set in order to not let everyone down.
NY chef abused him for so long, it makes sense that carmys psyche would readily go back to his insults and the time he himself was an isolated 'psycho' bc it yielded results.
nothing is black and white and i DO think sydney represents a healthier approach to the toxic mess that is the culinary world and does represent that for carmy. if the show was invested in that, sydney and the NY chef could be overtly contrasted like sydney and claire have been.
BUT again this isnt about his job and dedication as a chef...thus why he tries to think of claire to solve his personal problem, and it fails.
Solution # 2: Sydney
LMFAOOO.
carmy then in a crazy plot twist starts thinking of his platonic work bestie sydney adamu....the love song dedicated by the show to his relationship with his girlfriend is then made clear highlighting some pretty damning lyrics about desire and love.....all platonic btw. yes you are dumb if you think otherwise (*wink*)
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I actually have two platonic fixes for this...
platonic fix # 1: if we only wanted to focus on sydney as a person who calms carmy down because shes his work bestie who represents his responsibilty to the bear and the postive change they are trying effect in the culinary world, i would add scenes where they are...you know actually cooking???
i think its pretty crazy how the memories carmys immediately jump to are ones that have little to do with their jobs. when they first meet (would also like to note that when carmy first laid eyes on Sydney, he forgot she was there for a job, so this is his raw reaction to seeing a pretty girl lol) and when she comes back after she quit and their break up fight.
i would add their scenes in carmys kitchen (even tho this is extremely damning bc they were flirting DOWN - they don't make this easy at all). this represents their collaboration skills and the way they WORK and bounce ideas off of each other seamlessly. specifically the scene about him wanting to give her a star, representing his duty to her and the restaurant.
*and no shade to carmy but if his responsibility to the bear/syd as a co-worker was bothering him this much and calmed him down wouldn't he have just immediately called the fridge guy.....anyways*
platonic fix # 2 (the best one): if i was chris storer and joanna calo and i REALLY wanted to sell it that carmy isnt in love with sydney then i would put every single member of the OG beef crew + Nat to calm him down not just Sydney.
im talking to them laughing at family, carmy giving tina his chefs knife, richie in his new suit, carmys one on one w Marcus/trying his donut, nat telling carmy shes pregnant (signifing rebirth/wanting to rid all the toxic abuse from his family), carmy trying sydney risotto, and her face when he said it was tremendous etc etc...you get the gist
and honestly?
even as i type this out im tearing up a little bit bc that would have been really beautiful. carmy is changing. he can and is getting rid of old toxic habits from his family and the mess that is the culinary industry. things are changing for the better....that would be beautiful....IF his panic attack was about any of these things lol.
and to even look at this scene without this need for symmetry and we entertain the idea of carmy thinking about his job as a solution for his personal problem...carmy has said himself (s02e01) that this isnt fun for him. i dont think that means he hates cooking i kinda disagree with the ppl who think he isnt passionate about it. i just think currently its something that doesnt bring him joy but i do think its something hes starting to or at least could have started to enjoy if he just committed to working with syd...
conclusion
theres a lot of....delusion? denial? straight up bias? yes all of that, going on.
idk what is happening bc this show is really great at being subtle. but i dont know whats more in your face, dumbed down, even a toddler could understand, than this scene. if you dont come out of this understanding that carmy is falling in love/currently in love with Sydney...and i hate using this term..but you just arent media literate.
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bonus: bc it makes me laugh and connects the purpose and solutions.
i think we need a Snyder Sydcarmy Cut™ of bolognese and omelette.
the start of the episode is when sydney and carmy fight over claires inclusion in the menu, and also when sydney randomly asks him to define his relationship with Claire. the episode would continue until we get to the table scene.
i think its WILD how as soon as Sydney asks him to define their relationship, carmy starts calling claire his girlfriend. then the show proceeds to insert sydney in their romantic montage, shows her tattoo about heartbreak and someone getting in the way of your relationship...THEN proceeds to have carmy compare these two women in his mind and only calms down after seeing Sydney.
i could talk about this scene for AGES. wheres the straitjacket....
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fbfh · 2 years
Text
peter parker x (gn) stark!reader crush hcs
wc: 1.5k
genre/au: pining, fluff, crushing hard, ambiguous canon compliance, socialite/heir/nepotism baby au
pairing: peter parker x stark!reader, dad!tony stark + familial!reader
warnings: one use of "it girl" cause I couldn't find a better phrase, peter parker is a simp, tony stark is a good dad, vague allusions to pre infinity war, mentions of the stark internship and going on missions, I think that's it??
summary: peter parker is down real bad for you. it's only when you come face to face that he realizes tony stark/iron man my boss is also tony stark/iron man my celebrity crush's dad and god he wants to make a good impression on you
song rec: treat you better - shawn mendes (mentioned), spider man too: 2 many spidermen - the unbreakable kimmy schmidt (just cause I think of it every time I hear spiderman)
a/n: on a spider man kick!!! i watched homecoming yesterday and can't stop thinking about it, probably going to binge watch the tobey maguire and andrew garfield spider man movies this weekend lol
also I'm on another wave of marvel hyperfixation!!! half way through black panther and it is worth every rave review it's gotten I wanna watch vine compilations with shuri
tags @afidiofobia @thatmultifandomloser @babiesimagines @lizziebitch33 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl
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Tony stark has been through a lot
He's very protective over the people he loves
And rightfully so
No matter how you came into his life
Whether your mom was the love of his life, the one fling he never stopped thinking about, the one that got away
And he somehow ended up with custody of you
Or if he and Pepper finally tied the knot and had you, their little bundle of joy
Or if he adopted you, little orphan Annie style
Regardless of how and when you came into his life
You are his pride and joy
Suddenly all of Stark industries only means something to him because it's a way to provide for you
Yeah the whole entire world is great
But you are who he fights for
You are the reason he wears the suit and keeps things safe and peaceful
Not without a good fight, and not without the rest of the avengers ofc
But at the end of the day, he wants you safe and happy
He'll go to extreme measures to make sure you are always safe and taken care of
Plus, god he loves spoiling you
He really never expected having a kid to be so much fun
You’re probably the coolest person he knows
And he’s been around the block a few times
With how protective he is you'd expect him to be pretty strict
No dating no parties
But no
He makes sure you're always totally informed, prepared, and safe
That way you can go live life to the fullest
Plus it would be really hypocritical of him to say you can't party and break hearts
Look at his track record
And you have such a good head on your shoulders
You're so smart and responsible
He has no idea where you get it from
The sense of humor and charisma, sure
But you're just so… good
You're such a good kid
That has to be all your mom
(It’s a little bit him too but he doesn't believe that yk)
Literally you can have and do anything you want
And what hurts is how you never ask for anything
You're so humble and grateful
That's your mother too
He has no idea how you're turning out to be such a good kid, but he hopes he's doing something right
You trust each other implicitly
Between all the shit you've been through, and all the shit he's been through, he kept as much of your childhood private as he could
Basically no one even knew he had a kid until you were in high school
By the time you were old enough to drive he was a little more laid back with the whole privacy thing
But it's something you really value too
You have like 1 public social media account
Which you barely even post on
Regardless of if you’re more of a stem or arts and humanities person
Or neither
Or both
Once you hit high school and people found out Tony Stark has a kid
Absolute media circus
You were what everyone was talking about
For a long time
And you’re still a point of conversation to this day
Even if you do absolutely nothing
If you fly under the radar as much as you can
You’re still something of an it girl
New York’s sweetheart if you will
You’re regularly in teen magazine articles as a style icon
Your pictures are ALL over pinterest
People on tiktok have made so many -core nepotism baby aesthetic outfit inspo <3 videos about you
You’re frequently used as a background for hot girl whisper posts too
But in spite of all that
There’s probably not much public information known about you
Yk the whole privacy thing
You’re a hot enigmatic gorgeous mystery
If you’re anything like your dad you’re probably known for flipping off the paparazzi on more than one occasion too
You’ve caught the attention of many people
Including the parasocial affection of a nerdy guy from queens
The same nerdy guy who’s recently gotten an internship with your dad
When I tell you Peter Parker has the biggest crush on you
That doesn’t even do it justice
He has all your pictures as rotating wallpapers on his phone and computer
He regularly scrolls through your public social media
He’s made a playlist with all the songs and bands you’ve either worn t shirts/merch for or referenced
He falls asleep basically every night thinking about you
Literally he couldn’t imagine a more perfect person if he tried
You sound like something 12 year old him would have made up
The drop dead gorgeous heir/socialite nepotism baby of Tony Stark??????
Sign him the fuck up
He wonders if you like spider man
He wonders that regularly
When he’s spacing out in class he’s definitely thinking about you
He’s probably thinking about rescuing you as spider man
He’d get you out of the way in the nick of time
You’d cling to him as he holds you close to his chest, web swinging away from the imminent danger
The way you’d be swept off your feet, wanting to see him again
How you just couldn’t get the charming plucky upstart off your mind
Then you’d of course ask your dad to pull a few strings so you could see him again
Maybe he’d refuse, playing the strict parent role
But you’d find a way
Love always finds a way
There would always be some sort of balcony soliloquy
Sometimes it would feel very romeo and juliet
Other times it would be the scene leading up to a whole new world from aladdin practically beat for beat
He doesn’t even know if your room has a balcony
But he feels like it probably does
Ned agrees you’d probably have a balcony
When dating rumors start going around
Whether they’re true or not
He goes through a mini heartbreak every time
After reading every article he can find about you and whoever
Idk an actor, a tiktok influencer, another nepotism baby
Treat you better by shawn mendes is on repeat for at least two days
May has picked up on this pattern
If she sees dating rumors before he does
When he comes home she has a hug and his favorite takeout ready to go
His notes are full of doodles of you
Comics of spider man rescuing you
Usually stick figures
They’re still pretty cute
For some reason he doesn’t connect Tony Stark my celebrity crush’s dad with Mr. Stark aka Iron Man the guy basically training me to be an avenger
So at one point he gets a call that they need him for a mission
Tony informs him that someone will be there to pick him up, so be ready
Thankfully school is basically over
So when he’s heading to his locker and hastily texting Ned an apology for bailing on their movie plans
He hears his name
“I’m looking for Peter Parker?”
His locker door is closed and he
He can’t believe what he’s seeing
It’s you
Oh god it’s you
Live and right in front of him and god you smell really good
“Hi.” you begin, introducing yourself
“My dad - Mr. Stark,” you correct, in case he has no idea who the fuck you are
As if that could happen
“Sent Happy to pick us up.”
He’s barely able to process what you’re saying
You’re so pretty and so real and you’re standing so close to him
“...really important internship related stuff came up. He needs us both at the compound asap.”
You wink at him, an understated gesture that anyone else would have missed, clarifying beyond doubt this is in actuality avengers business
He fumbles out some reply, pulse racing, cheeks burning up
God you’re so much prettier in person
And you look a lot taller in photos
He doesn’t have time to dwell on the thought as you hand him a cup
“Oh, I got you a coffee - hope you like lattes.”
You take a sip of your own beverage and start to walk away
You turn back after a second
“You coming?”
Happy gives him a look like come on kid, we don’t have all day
“R-right!” he sputters following you out of the building
He realizes this is it
It’s go time
Every hope and dream and wish to meet you has amalgamated to this moment
Now he just has to make a good impression
Make you think he’s totally cool and charming
And not at all an absolute dork
That shouldn’t be hard at all right??
He sure hopes not
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splashink-games · 5 months
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Cassette Beasts?
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Cassette Beasts is a creature-collecting game by Bytten Studio! Record monsters on tapes, become a Ranger, and find the way off of New Wirral in this amazing adventure!
Spoilers below the cut!!
So I had a plan to write this review before I even finished the game. It was just that good. But! I managed to hold off until I at least finished the main game. Next goal: 100% and DLC! And also buying the OST when I have the chance.
Now, I'm not putting this off until the middle of the review: every musical track in this game is a certified banger. I absolutely loved the music of the game. As one person put it (while I was looking for the OST), I just didn't get tired of the music. And that's a pretty big win for a game where you have so, so many encounters and only a handful of tracks to play.
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The way they implement the music is also impressive because it's narratively important. The lyrics work their way in when a fusion happens and during big story battles. The town theme's music plays when you're indoors. Plus the lyrics just feel right with its tones and atmosphere. Also the difference between the few main battle themes is just enough for one to feel more tense/exciting than the others. Just an overall great thing they have going on with the audio.
Okay with that out of the way!
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Cassette Beasts is a solid game, actually pretty high tier.
Mechanically, I've seen people compare it to Pokemon. I feel like it's like a mix of Pokemon and Persona. You can record the monsters, remaster (evolve) them at five stars, with some having having special evolution requirements. Monsters can show up as bootlegs, where they're a type other than its base type, which is just like shiny hunting but more (cause there's like 12 types). And I've already killed a plastic bootleg by accident...
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The moves (stickers) are mix and match, mostly according to typing. I'm pretty into it cause I love giving my party members all sorts of type coverage. I haven't particularly gone into finding weird strategies yet other than AP Refund, but I can see some cool ones thanks to needing to battle all 12 Ranger Captains.
And then you can fuse! Which I thought was interesting, and it adds an ace to go to when you're in a pinch. But you fusing means that wild monsters (and other rangers) can fuse too. Those provide some fun challenges and opportunities to find bootlegs, plus progression in post-game.
Did I mention that this game is also like a Metroidvania? Capturing certain monsters gives up to 6 overworld movement abilities and I think that's pretty neat. All of them have their uses and none of them are niche, which is a win.
The story was pretty interesting! Dropping in onto a mysterious island and trying to find a way back home is nice and simple and all the detail added around it make it engaging. The Archangels are wildly uncomfortable which I didn't expect and I loved it. Despite loving it, it still did come out of nowhere but greatly forgiven because it was right at the start (and not some random turn in the middle).
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The pacing was a bit off for me though because I got like 5 out of 8 song pieces before I even defeated 4 captains or even met all the partner characters. I also don't know how relationship progress works other than fight things and rest. Thinking about it now, there's probably a reason why there a speedrun timer in that you don't have to play through all the content (8/9 archangels, no captains?), I guess.
I liked the references to all sorts of topics throughout the story and I think it's pretty interesting for the characters to be from different timelines. It makes it easy to explain weird inconsistencies.
Funny thing I did by accident for end game's story: I switched out Meredith's Regensea with an Aeroboros cause I wanted her starter in my party. And boy did that choice bite back later lol.
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Graphics are also solid. The 3D world with 2D sprites reminds me of Octopath Traveller. I appreciate the non-pixel portrait art for the characters, but I would've liked it either way. The designs of the monsters and the characters are all great! Honestly, I should take some notes from them since even if there's 15+ characters, they still all have very specific designs and personalities to match.
The detail in the world is great too, like the light reflecting off the puddle or the fog that rolls in and the rain. So like weather in general.
Also, as a note just for me, I liked the fonts and font effects that they used. Very cool.
Cassette Beasts is a quality creature-collecting game! If you need another Pokemon/Digimon/Persona, here's a game for you. Or if you just want a cool turn-based RPG with cool music, that's cool too.
As always,
Enjoy gaming!
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beautifulpersonpeach · 7 months
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Hi Peach! Sorry if this is a weird ask, but can you please explain why you bias the rapline? What is it about them that makes you like them? I understand could be many known and unknown factors for why, so maybe just tell one? Your post for RM recently made me wonder. Thank you.
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They are the best at what they do.
Whatever it is they choose to do that is solely their work, I know I'm guaranteed to be listening to the best possible iteration of it. All three of them - Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon - are easily some of the best musicians alive. In my opinion. Like, I just cannot hear the music they make and not stan. I engaged with BTS first and foremost for the music, and don't have it in me to ignore skill like what they've shown since debut.
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(He knows he's got the prettiest dragon eyes)
One of the biggest reasons BTS is the biggest group in the world today is because of the peerless ability of their rapline. The best rappers and performers in k-pop are in BTS. BTS holds some of the top songwriters, producers, and choreographers within their group, and you find all three within the rapline. They fundamentally understand the assignment.
Take for example, a song like HUH?! and the brilliance that is SOPE's verses. Drill is a very tricky genre because the instrumentation and grim lyrical delivery are supposed to be equally weighted. And despite the numerous attempts by Korean artists to master it, less than a handful have and only after several tries. But Yoongi and Hoseok's first song in this style immediately is one of the best I've heard, period. One reason is because SOPE immediately show an understanding of one key feature in Drill: balance.
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(You can see and smell and feel the massive pools of rizz wafting off him through the screen)
Contrasted to many other hip hop styles, in drill the violence is explicitly the point of the song, the instrumentation mimics a gun-down, and the way you’re supposed to show it is to allow the sparse but gritty beat breathe alongside lyrics that promise nothing but pain, violence and death. Said as matter of factly as possible. And my God the way Hobi did that on HUH?! gave me chills. Yoongi meanwhile just hacked away with no hesitation or concern like the animal he is.
It’s an excellent song that can hold its own against works by many American rappers, and SOPE made it. HUH?! is in the ranking of my top 20 tracks released in 2023, across all genres.
Snooze still makes constant rotation, Dawn, Amygdala, Haegeum, D-DAY, Life Goes On... I'm still streaming Yoongi’s album from top to bottom. Same with On the Street, Rush Hour, and Jack in the Box, same deal with Indigo and sometimes Sexy Nukim and Joon's other collabs. Like, these guys make music I actually look forward to listening to everyday, music that when it comes up on shuffle, a smile comes on my face.
With the BTS rapline, I just feel so certain and assured that the product will be of outstanding quality, practically every time.
I mean, the D-DAY tour still feels like a fever dream. It was the first solo tour by a BTS member, Yoongi's this time, and nearly every reviewer and professional critic has called it one of the best concert experiences they've had this decade. And anyone who themselves attended his concerts, can attest to this being true for them. Because the fact is, Min Yoongi is a consummate performer and one of the best storytellers of his generation.
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(He just looks like someone who got a personal cosign from Ryuichi Sakamoto)
*
These guys are just good. It's like there's a fire within them to express themselves so thoroughly through their craft. There's other things about them that I relate enough to, to feel so drawn to them that I bias them, but that right there is one reason.
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standreamy · 8 months
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Miraculous The Movie Review: An admirable, imperfect attempt
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PREMISE
It's not a masterpiece, it's not groundbreaking and it has flaws that limited the result quite a lot, which I'll point out. Yet it's also a very good product that I think should be praised for its efforts.
I watched this movie both with people who have followed the whole series, and with those who have seen it partially. I also watched it by myself and with people who have never seen the series and knew nothing about it.
I have therefore tried to keep my view as unbiased and objective as possible.
I will divide this analysis/review into various sections. I tried to leave comparisons with the series only in the last one, though inevitably, it wasn’t possible to never mention the differences. For this reason, I decided to leave a final vote that will be split into what I grade the movie by itself and what I grade it as part of the Miraculous brand.
However, I want to clarify that with this post I do not intend to discredit those who prefer the show, nor do I intend to encourage those who prefer the movie  to behave arrogantly and attack Astruc.
The final part is where I will directly compare movie and show and where I will explain my preferences. You are perfectly free to skip, as it’s the last part before my grades.
With that said, let's get started!
ANIMATION
I've seen little contrast of opinion on this topic. Indeed, it is undeniable that it is of the highest quality. I'm a big fan of 2D, and as for animation I prefer it to 3D by a long mile, but the choice of quality for the movie is impressive. You can’t just help but admire and it surely deserved a worldwide release in theaters. 
The backgrounds, the characters, the details, the textures and the focus on expressions… Nowadays, Disney movies spend almost double the budget and offer equal or almost inferior graphic quality. 
I also want to clarify that the focus on expressions is very important because by following the "show and don't tell" rule, it allows you to receive information on what the characters are feeling and therefore enriches their profile. You never see a stiff character, even in the background or from a distance there are characters expressing emotions or doing something, which is actually stunning for the eyes. One of the best 3D graphics I’ve seen personally.
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MUSIC
The number of songs is a judgment that can only be subjective, as not everyone likes musicals. But for being a musical indeed, I personally find the number acceptable, especially for the role that the songs played.
I find that composition wise (I study music professionally) they are all very high quality. The harmonies chosen, the orchestration that Zag has composed are of a very high standard not generally seen often in modern animated movies.
This can also be seen in the background music, which is extremely impactful and recognizable. None goes unnoticed, embrace the scenes in harmony. The soundtrack in a movie is fundamental, it enriches the feeling that the scene can evoke. It is after all not an unknown factor that, for example, by removing the soundtrack of a horror movie, you remove much of the effect of fear and unsettlement it creates.
Returning to the songs, however, I particularly appreciated their usefulness for the plot and the characters. I have seen very opposite opinions on this matter, from people praising them and people thinking they were totally unrelated or repetitive. Personally, I think every single song expressed a well-defined concept that carried forward the intended messages.
Speaking from a purely personal point of view, on a melodic and interpretative level my favorite songs were "Courage in me" and "Stronger Together". However, I find the most important to be “If I believed in me”, “Chaos will reign today” and “Alone again”. A song for each of the film's main characters; Marinette, Adrien and Hawkmoth.
And I also found the most well executed “Reaching out”.
But for this analysis, I'm going to touch on each song.
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“If I believed in me” This song is the perfect introduction and presentation of the character. It tells us all the key details to know about Marinette at first glance. She is very shy, awkward and introverted to the point of having social anxiety. This has led her to willingly shut people out, even though people who know her a bit more seem to like her, and even if deep down inside she wants to fit in and her creativity is a way for her to channel that. She has a dream as a fashion designer and takes all the inspiration from the world around her. However, this inner conflict leads her to self-sabotage and behave in a bizarre way. This is a classic and basic step that most of the best musical animated movies follow and in this one it was quite appropriate. Putting a song right at the start may seem unsettling for people who dislike musicals or found it unnecessary, however, it was a very right and basic rule to follow.
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“Alone Again” Another very important song that expresses not only Adrien's pain for the loss of his mother, but also for his father's neglect. The text is universal enough to show that Adrien may want to reconnect with both Emilie and Gabriel. Not having enough minutes in the movie to properly focus on the Agreste family dynamic, this was key to fix that. Because of this, I think that removing it in non-French versions was a very big mistake.
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"You are Ladybug" While it’s not one of the most fundamental, it’s a song very well handled, because it not only explains part of the lore, but actually shows that in this movie the Kwami are much more sentient.  Tikki demonstrates her knowledge of years of experience. She knows how it works, she knows which carriers are best for her and she also knows it might help Marinette to improve her confidence as she outright states while singing. On a musical level, the use of the show's original opening is also very effective. It's not easy to readapt a motif several times without getting bored of it, even building a new song on top of it, and in this case Zag did an excellent job.
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"Ma Lady" Similar to "Alone Again", this song is also very important to show one of the new motivations for Adrien to open up. Chat Noir is Adrien's way of bringing out his inner self, and even though it didn't do it the best way at first because of his attitude, this is the beginning of his change. It’s a crucial song to a crucial improvement.
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“Chaos will reign today” This song has a strong Disney villain vibe that fits very well with the model they followed for Hawk Moth in this movie. Another classic to express the desire of the villains is to convey it with a song that gives the right tone to the character, who can be more or less evil. In the case of Gabriel it is very smart to show him with a theater man attitude, given that his wife performed in the theater in the world of the movie. It fits well with the character they chose for Gabriel. This song is also the very moment Gabriel is sure about his path and finally decides to go on being a villain.
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“Courage in me” This song, in addition to having excellent musicality and a change of tone that is always and gradually more triumphant, is very well represented. It begins with Marinette grappling with anxiety and her instincts and desperation growing stronger until they become a call to the mission. Marinette embraces her role after much hesitation and from this moment a change begins for her as well as for Chat in "Ma Lady". From here on Marinette will try to open up slowly and improve.
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“Miraculous theme remix”  Nothing in particular to say about this. It's a pretty good adaptation and perfect for a montage, even if I'll explain later on why I would have substituted it with something else (“The wall between us”).
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“Stronger together” Perhaps the most representative song of the movie. In addition to the impressive presentation, the portrayal of the relationship of the two protagonists under these forms is enhanced to the max. Both open their hearts, finding the pinnacle of their relationship and communicating it openly. Especially for Chat Noir, this is the quintessential moment where he finally opens up and reaches out to someone. He makes himself vulnerable for the first time in a long while, demonstrating the improvement in him as a person. Sadly, it doesn't end the way he hoped.
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“Reaching out” Perhaps one of the best-performing songs in the movie. Marinette, similar to Chat, has improved and opened up, hoping to be able to find a mutual feeling that however, apparently, wasn’t reciprocated. This moment naturally creates a lot of doubt and insecurity in her and the song represents this difficulty and duality. By now she's grown up, she's learned to be herself and she can't just go back to zero point, however now her doubts and insecurity are growing because her efforts didn’t seem to work.
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"Now I see" The song played during the end credits. An alternative version to "Stronger Together", with the same main melody, but different words, much more appropriate for the resolution of the movie and the now realized reveal. Their feelings were revealed in totality and they managed to connect. Their eyes and hearts can finally see.
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"Careless Whisper" Yes. I will put it in the list because while its purpose is silly, it has one. Putting it in the moment Chat falls for Ladybug makes sense because those feelings are still incomplete and needs to grow and mature. It's understandable to make it a comedic moment. Just like it was a good idea to use it again later on as it's a break up song.
PLOT
Simple but functional plot, which follows a perhaps predictable path but also manages to exploit as much as possible in such a small time frame.
Compared to the series, at least the arc of Hawk Moth, everything is very simplified, but I think it's a good choice.
Not having too complex bases and having to fix everything in a limited time, but also needing to address important themes, the movie was able to focus better on the chosen details.
There are some cuts that unfortunately, however necessary, demonstrate that the movie’s potential would have been better expressed in a trilogy totally focused on Gabriel, rather than with a change of villain, thus allowing for more in-depth development.
However, it is understandable that with the Covid crisis and with the movie's few certainties of success a few years ago, Zag chose a safer path for the first and possible only installment, given the great uncertainty of possible sequels. The only thing that can be blamed then, is the possible fear of daring.
Beyond these elements, the film is certainly well studied in its three acts. Reinterpreting an existing story that spans several seasons and containing it in a movie is not for everyone and I find that as much as possible has been done and that it achieves the goal.
I also appreciated that many aspects of the PV have been restored for this version.
STRUCTURE AND RHYTHM
One of the main flaws of this movie, maybe the most critical, is the pacing.
Given the large number of characters, messages and plot twists, as well as the necessary gradual developments to be made and the relationships to be highlighted, everything happened very quickly and sometimes felt rushed. From the second act, it gallops towards the finale.
At my first viewing in French, this feeling was clear as water, but it improved on subsequent viewings in other languages as well.
It was an aspect I find impossible to prevent, but perhaps could have been lessed in some ways.
This problem goes hand in hand with the impetuous scene changes, even if mostly softened in the Italian version I watched afterwards.
Often there are sharp cuts that can be noticed between one scene and another, given the many perspectives to follow. It is clear that the time frame was limited and this detail would have been significantly improved with just a few more minutes.
In its favor it can be said that despite the short time frame, the many things to say and the too fast pace, the substance is clear. Characters are defined in who they are and what they want. The story is too, touching all the stages and completing itself, but still leaving room for the sequel. All reading levels are readable despite the flaws.
It’s a real shame though, that many aspects had to be rushed where instead they could have hugely benefited with more playing time or even splitting this arc into 3 movies.
DIALOGUES
Another mixed point of this movie are the dialogues. In some moments, for example the beginning with the conversation between Marinette and her mother Sabine, they fall into unnaturalness. They feel a bit out of place.
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However, there are many other dialogues that are opposite to this; they are well thought out and excellent for explaining messages that cannot always be shown for playing time.
One such example is the dialogues between Tikki and Marinette when they get to know each other. “Exciting! You discovered electricity!”, “Girls can wear pants? Finally!”: these are dialogues that together with Tikki’s sung story not only make us understand the authority of the Kwami but also the historical context of the story and guess the time that has passed since there was enough chaos to call the Miraculous into action.
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Also much of the characters' banter and comedic gags (with the exception of Plagg farting, which I find unnecessary as that kind of humor nowadays can be considered "outdated" for children and as the movie already had other comic reliefs) help to define the various contexts. Nothing the characters do or say really seems pointless.
DUBBING
On this aspect, I decided not to focus much because for each language there are positive and negative aspects. I have seen the movie in French, English and Italian (my native language) numerous times. In French and English, the known problem is that Marinette's voice is too deep in the singing and I agree that at least in English they should have let Cristina Vee sing. However, even here I don't feel like judging enormously because I also watched the movie in Italian and there these problems are completely absent. Indeed, the Italian version is probably the best in my opinion. Excellent acting and intonation, Marinette's chosen singing voice is very similar to speech as well as impressive in the expressiveness, and Adrien's is the same in both speaking and singing and is intoned and expressive.
The only voice that is out of place in Italian in the singing is Tikki, the same as in speech, a little out of rhythm and intonation.
However, I appreciated the different depth given to the characters compared to the show. Deeper and more expressive.
LORE
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Starting from a purely introductory point of view, we can say that we have had a fairly complete one that immediately informs us of the basics; The miraculous of the cat and the ladybug contain enormous power and are balanced, they are called only in times of chaos and that of the butterfly is the most dangerous in case of incorrect use.
We are then informed in the movie that the Miraculous have been used since ancient times, that the Kwami are related to jewels and bestow powers but that they are also wise and skillful in their choices. They probably go dormiant when use is not needed.
We still don't know how the Miraculous were created, how Fu lost them (if he lost them in this version in the first place) and how much the Kwami have to obey their bearers. Furthermore, perhaps one of the defects is the absence of an explanation on how actually the Miraculous of Ladybug and Chat Noir could help Emilie. Would they bring her back to life? Would there be a sacrifice to be made?
Another aspect that I would have introduced in advance is the explanation of the powers of the Cataclysm and the Cure.
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From a usage point of view, I think an excellent job has been done. Great idea to leave them at only the last drastic case, also for a matter of scenic effect. The idea of eliminating all of Ladybug's other powers to truly balance the two heroes is also excellent. Destruction and creation, Ladybug forced only to use her wits with what she has around, without extra help, and Chat engaged in a more physical role.
In this aspect, I think the movie did a better job of never making Ladybug and her Miraculous feel more important than her counterpart ever.
However, as mentioned, the lack of an explanation of these powers and introduction is a shortcoming of the film.
Even a mention of their danger and the fear of using them in any casual fight would have been of great help to better serve the surprise effect. Or propose that you need to reach a certain level of maturity or experience to unlock certain powers, even just inner acceptance.
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The transformation limits have been removed, as well as that of only one Akuma at a time and a self-akumization of Hawk Moth while he was still transformed. All these changes in my opinion are not harmful and with the time limit it is a more than necessary cut.
It is also implied that the incorrect use of the miraculous can have negative effects on the bearer, as seen by Gabriel, increasingly destroyed and unkempt, as well as victim of fainting episodes. I found it a very ingenious choice, like making the enhancement of the powers of the two main miraculous literal when coordinated.
CHARACTERS
There are characters more or less different from the series, but regardless of whether they are good changes or not, the fact that they exist is not a mistake. It's a reboot, the characters don't have to be the same as their counterparts. They do not have the same roles, priorities or main characteristics. They are not supposed to be anything the show portrays them as.
The most remarkable thing is throughout the duration of the film the two protagonists have balanced roles.
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Marinette/Ladybug
In this version, Marinette is a very different character from the series. Introverted and shy, and it is precisely this factor that makes her clumsy and awkward, even going as far as to assume bizarre attitudes in public, withdrawing into herself (as demonstrated with the teens who had tried to greet her and with Alya, whom she advises to stay away) and making mistakes that she apparently wouldn't make with more confidence in herself.
This leads not only others to avoid and mock her, but also to increase her anxiety.
A fairly predictable path for a protagonist where the superhero theme is concerned, but functional and excellent for counterbalancing Chat Noir and his readiness for the role.
From these points of view, Marinette is a character who is a victim of the situation, but also a victim of herself. She is flawed on purpose in the right ways. Her attitudes have a clear cause understood from setting, but realistically it’s still an unhealthy behavior for herself (hiding behind a car on first greeting, risking getting hurt repeatedly, loneliness).
Marinette is "chosen" by Master Fu and Tikki, for her instinctive and rapid heroic gesture, which almost failed. She doesn't hesitate for a moment to risk her life and almost throw it away, there are zero second thoughts. However, Tikki also chooses her because of her experience with past wearers of hers. Indeed, the call to become a hero, a very common theme in the stories of superheroes who are called to service in case they have the opportunity to help, even if perhaps they don’t wish to or never had an option to choose.
It can be said that Marinette is actually "the exception" for a girl of her age. Many would jump at the opportunity to have superpowers, like Adrien.
Indeed, Marinette keeps doubting clearly until "Courage in me", where fear is transformed into the need to act. Marinette has no choice, but she embraces the task and from that moment she begins to change.
She will begin to open up more to Chat's company, she will begin to open up to her friends and Adrien, to communicate with him, to get to know him.
And we see her blossoming into the same but also a new person, which leads her to a better life. However, the message given isn't that you have to change yourself to be accepted. But that effort must start from you. If you harm yourself and wait for others to step forward (even if the help of others is useful, as demonstrated in the movie) you will not be able to get back on your feet.
Marinette finds the confidence not to change herself, but to BE herself. To open up, to try courageously and relax, arriving at beneficial results for herself and this consequently leads to acceptance by others.
Marinette is already a fantastic person, but she has to let others see it and her experience as Ladybug, then leading to opening up first with Chat, with Alya and then with Nino and Adrien allows her to reflect what she has inside.
After rejecting Chat Noir with regret and inner doubts and after the rejection by Adrien, Marinette doubts again. After all, she made the effort, she got better… and it wasn't enough.
She doesn't know if it was worth it or not... yet she proves that the Marinette she once was is now different. She rushes into action to help when Hawk Moth strikes and after a moment of crisis she remembers the words from Chat and Tikki, during the very moment she hits rock bottom. She gets up in the form she believed most vulnerable, which she had already exposed once failing, she throws herself forwards and saves Chat Noir.
And finally, with the herself that she built, she rebuilds the city and steps forward to connect to Chat/Adrien. Difficult step because there will always be the slightest doubt of being rejected, but she embraces it and this time it brings her to a happy ending.
She no longer has to worry about having her parents drive her to school, she no longer has to worry about being watched, because now she can let her inner light shine and she knows that if she falls, she will rise again.
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Adrien/Chat Noir
In this version the male protagonist is much more introverted as a civilian. Similarly to Marinette, he too has difficulty opening up and from a certain point of view he too by personal choice. Also demonstrated by the symbolism of the earbuds that he always wears in moments of insecurity. Indeed, in his case it is mainly a self-isolation that is imposed due to the trauma suffered by the death of the mother and the distancing that the father has placed in the relationship with his son.
Unlike the Adrien of the show, this Adrien grew up without particular restrictions, he can go where he wants and also had a good relationship with his father, who was present and affectionate. It's not hard to think that in this version Adrien was even encouraged by his father to go to school as a way to push him away, given Gabriel's confirmation in the finale that he couldn't bring himself to see his son's sad gaze.
As a consequence of this, we see an Adrien who, while kind and helpful, is not the same ray of sunshine of the show, whose main trait is kindness. But in this case, it doesn't HAVE to be.
This Adrien has trouble opening up and is afraid of becoming attached, which is why despite going along with Nino proposals of hanging out and helping out Marinette, he doesn't feel like being around them too much.
On the other hand, as Chat Noir, he is extremely stuck up and arrogant, proving that Chat is really an escape for the boy, who however exaggerates in letting this side out and ends up behaving in a quite negative way (albeit in moderation). A guy who probably really took on a few traits of the snotty rich kid.
This reading shows us a clearly flawed Chat Noir.
We don't see his meeting with Plagg or transformation, but from the get-go Chat is the one willing to wear the role, so while it would have been nice to see it, I don’t blame the cut. It was Marinette the one that needed more focus in this case.
Chat's attitude changes from the moment the boy develops a crush on Ladybug. This drives him to improve and gradually moderate his attitudes. Unlike the show's Chat he doesn't flirt and while it’s gradual, his banter with Ladybug becomes more playful and affectionate in nature and starts trusting her capacities. He becomes more humble and approachable, admitting that he doesn't see himself as the boss of the duo and offering to play sidekick. He collaborates with the girl during the fights, listens to her, begins to see her merits... and in civilian life he begins to go out with Nino, Alya and Marinette, to the point of opening up about his mother with the latter, an extremely personal topic for him. He no longer wears earbuds, no longer isolates himself from the outside world.
We see him again in class finally, when he didn't show up at the other lessons and we see him go back to a normal life.
His feelings for Ladybug in this case have improved him and come to a head when he also confides in Ladybug about his mother in his special place, confessing his feelings in a song and showing his vulnerability. Unfortunately, it does not end up as he would like and it leads him in the same situation Marinette will be into shortly after, doubting how good it was opening up. At the proposal to go to the gala with his friend, he will reject her with regret and what appears to be repentance and guilt.
This passage can be read both as insecurity about his feelings towards Marinette, and as insecurity about him opening up to others, given the hard blow immediately after finally opening up for the first time.
But even Adrien can't go back to zero point, and after a momentary moment of grudge, once he realizes that Ladybug is in danger, he runs to help.
Adrien throws himself into the fight against his father, which lands him in trouble. Thanks to his father's guilt, the villain stops and the two talk. Here Adrien's growth finally shines, who finally incites his father to let Emilie go, which he too had to learn to do and did, and forgives him.
That is a moment of acceptance and unfortunately, however, it is also a probable farewell, with the father who has presumably ended up in prison. Adrien thus remains alone and returns to isolate himself again due to the new trauma, even if not completely (he went to the dance, he doesn’t wear earbuds and Nino says he will join them). It's hard for him to go back to normal and heal, but he's learned and the step Marinette takes to reach his heart finally pays off and Adrien can start healing.
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Gabriel/Hawk Moth
Perhaps the most human character in the movie. Gabriel, contrary to the show, is a man who shows constant crisis towards the loss of his wife. In the presence of others he proves to be composed, engaged in his working life (which we finally see more of), but in the private sphere he does not hesitate to show us all his desperation, also visible in his appearance which becomes increasingly scruffy as he continues with his hunt for the Miraculous.
We arrive at the end of the fight that he is a man destroyed by pain, by his own obsession that has taken over and by repentance.
As a character, although he comes across as cold and distant, he doesn't seem to abuse his son. Rather than an abusive parent, he is very neglectful and he pushes Adrien away for a matter of grief, not for his own standards of the family. He doesn't harshly reject Nathalie's proposal to eat with Adrien because he really doesn’t find it necessary, rather the reminder seems to hurt him because he knows he is wrong to not want his son around, which is why he acts so stern right after.
Thanks to the song and the revelation of his role, we discover that he is slowly descending further and further into madness, overwhelmed by his feelings. His own song, while not excusing his actions, treats him almost sympathetically and is the very moment he made the choice for his path. Up until then he was unsure which way to go, but the more his desperation and impatience grew, the more he lost control. And as Adrien freed himself from the chains of mourning, Gabriel became more and more engulfed in them.
Gabriel shows us that he cares about his son, while trying to detach himself emotionally to the point of believing he no longer has "Nothing to lose". To the point of believing that their relationship cannot be saved and that really the only way is to return Emilie to Adrien, even if that could mean losing his son's affection.
Still, Gabriel worries about his son's health and safety at all times, between making sure he's not at the scene of his attacks and wondering where he's been during the night. All this, while we see him more and more unkempt.
Gabriel, however, has been a loving man in the past and has all the bases for a possible redemption. It is precisely so that when he recognizes his son in Chat he decides to stop, realizing how far he has gone.
It doesn't excuse him from his actions, for which he will likely pay, but it does make him a villain we can sympathize with. He finally lets go of his wife, accepts the pain, and receives acceptance from his son who acknowledges that Gabriel too needed help. And then he hugs Adrien for the last time, in what seems like a desperate gesture that he's wanted to do for a long time. Heal the wounds of loss with the love of the one he still had, but who probably couldn't raise anymore.
However, a negative detail of Hawk Moth, perhaps the only one, is the fact that his costume does not fit with the character. In the series, his mask is understandable because at the beginning you don't want to immediately reveal his identity. However, this element is not introduced in the movie, so a redesign would have been appropriate.
For the post-credits scene, it is very unlikely that Gabriel left to Nathalie the duty of carrying on the plan, especially AFTER he surrendered, evidenced by the dialogue she recalls, implying that at the time of the confession no one else knew of his identity. After his surrender, all Paris was aware and it would have made no sense to talk about it as if it were a secret (although Emilie's body still was). Nor would the authorities let Gabriel loose after his surrender.
The kwamis
In this version we generally know little about the origins of the Kwamis as we do in the show. However we are aware of how much more sentient they are. Their authority is significantly greater and they are more difficult to manage. Theirs is not an attitude of chaotic innocence, but rather a "We do as we want because we have the right to", because they have enough years and experience behind them to be able to decide for themselves.
They impose themselves on their bearers and although they act as advisors, especially Tikki, they do not hesitate to reiterate several times that they are very expert beings in their job, to the point that they know how to recognize a pattern in all their bearers and also use it for choosing them. They are Gods, and as Zag wanted, they manage to prove it despite their cuteness.
We also know that Tikki and Plagg don't get along very well, but having not seen them interact we cannot yet define their relationship. Let's hope that in the sequel we’ll see this element, given the new relationship of their carriers.
Tikki is much more in-depth than Plagg in terms of screentime. Often advising Marinette to follow her feelings but also advising against it if needed, always following her own experience and gut.
Plagg on the other hand, unfortunately has much less screentime and another weak point of the movie is the fact that he was into the comic relief, in a somewhat avoidable way. Too bad, because despite his tough exterior he hides a soft heart, as demonstrated when he consoles Adrien over Ladybug's rejection.
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Master Fu
Master Fu in this version appears more like a real guardian than a mentor. A person who looks at the Kwamis and makes sure they don't take too many liberties and then takes care of choosing new bearers together with their approval.
He does not approach the two heroes to instruct them except at the beginning, approaching both of them and at the end to recover the miraculous of the butterfly.
More than his absence as a master, the lack of his backstory and the missing miraculous can be seen as a flaw, although it is possible that it will be addressed as a theme in the sequels.
Fu in the movie is much weirder, ending up taking on a secondary comic relief role which in my opinion would have worked a lot more in this case, rather than on Plagg.
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Secondary characters
Given the short time, many of them could not receive much space, but they were still able to show their usefulness.
First, Alya. The girl has a very charismatic personality and this leads her to approach Marinette and be the perfect person to match the girl, given the social problems she has and her tendency to push others away. This is one of the elements that helps Marinette open up, leading her from being drawn into a friendship to making friends of her own free will. Very important is that we are told early on about her dream of being a reporter and that it is used to motivate her attitude, which is never explicitly said on the show, even though it is part of her character.
Another character that I would like to mention is Chloé. The girl, contrary to the show, falls more into the kind of bully that cares about their reputation. She doesn't want to be seen doing bad things to Marinette, as shown more than once, especially in the scene where Alya purposely starts filming her to make her stop. She is bratty and bad-mannered, yet her refusal to be caught mistreating others is a sign that she recognizes her actions as wrong, which is a huge differentiator from the show. While it doesn't excuse her, this sets the stage for possible redemption in the sequels.
I also find the use of Nino and Marinette's parents positive, who are an excellent side element and help the characters move through the plot and in their development.
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The akumatized
For a short movie, the handling of the akumatized people was excellent. The first showed us how transformation and its lore works in this universe, also showing us that a negative feeling is not just simple anger and sadness, but even intentions alone count.
The first clash serves us as an introduction and unleashes the story from every point of view, both for the roles and relationship of the protagonists, and for Gabriel's journey and the reaction of civilians. Each clash changes things and a notable contribution is made by the second. The two heroes learn to work together and are finally seen in a positive light by the still hesitant civilians.
The second clash also shows us action scenes during which Chat Noir and Ladybug strengthen their relationship, their powers and show the basis of their individual qualities, or the physical clash for one and creativity for the other.
Then we have a montage of villains, which saves minutes and despite everything allows the collaboration of the two heroes and the opinion of civilians to flourish.
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The background characters/Civilians
Another element already mentioned are civilians. As I already talked about in the animation section, one notable aspect is how no character is standing still and everyone has their own reaction. I really appreciated the naturalness with which we see them trying to control the anxiety on a roller coaster, despair despite the worst was over after the final showdown and the slow acceptance towards the new heroes.
An aspect often overlooked in the series is the perception of civilians towards the heroes, almost completely enthusiastic right from the start if not for the competent authorities.
In the movie, we see them hesitant and intrigued, slowly in the process of opening up and trusting the two vigilantes, always not completely sure, given their mysteriousness. Contrary to the series, the two heroes seem much more unreachable at the beginning and it is visible and understandable that the inhabitants of Paris do not know whether to trust two strangers that hold powers as strange as those who started to haunt them.
RELATIONSHIPS
One of the obviously most important sides to analyze is the relationship aspect, especially the main couple… (as I already talked a lot already about Gabriel and Adrien’s relationship in the characters analysis, I will focus more on the romantic aspect in this section)
From a lovesquare point of view, it can be said that this movie has a total absence of Ladrien and almost total absence of Marichat, leaving room for a parallel path with the Adrienette and the Ladynoir. However, it is also clearly visible that the movie's main couple is Ladynoir.
Starting back…
Marinette and Adrien in this reboot are two characters both very introverted in civilian life, opposite to the show. The two have a similar problem of mostly self-imposed isolation, which is broken when wearing the mask, which seems to improve them and allow them to let go more of their inner self. From this point of view, the lack of the Adrienette seems less problematic, as their deepest parts come to the surface with the masks and they are shown to fall in love with them.
However, it remains a pity the little playing time given to the development of Adrien's feelings towards Marinette.
While it is made clear that Marinette is undecided between Chat Noir and Adrien, on the other hand, Adrien's indecision between Ladybug and Marinette is very hidden.
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It is not totally absent of course, we can clearly see the regret mixed with guilt and frustration when he is forced to refuse Marinette's invitation to the gala. He seems mortified, at the verge of tears. And you can see it also in the happiness and simplicity with which he accepts Marinette after she reveals herself, as if it made perfect sense and reassured him.
We also see him open up to the girl about his mother, which is extremely personal, and we see him support her in the montage. All of this would have been better exalted if spoken dialogue had been kept in the definitive version (for example, in the book version of the movie Adrien loses his locket and Marinette helps search and finds it), or, if there had been the inclusion of "The wall between us" .
Unfortunately, this is one of the points on which I have to dwell in a negative way. The removal of this song was probably the movie's biggest mistake. Just replacing the remix theme song with this song, which accompanies the scenes and shows us Adrien's conflicting feelings, would have greatly improved the situation.
Like all the other songs in the movie, which have a very specific purpose, "The wall between us" also had one, perhaps one of the most important ones that would have balanced "Stronger Together". They are songs to pair, not replace on with each other, and the removal of one has affected the entire movie.
I want to say again that I don't think there is a total absence of Adrien's feelings towards Marinette, underneath, and that the damage doesn't mar the movie enormously, but it is still one of the major flaws, which could easily have been fixed with an extra song or a simple replacement.
I also found out that in the book version of the movie Adrien was indeed showing thoughts of being conflicted between Marinette and Ladybug and before the ball he retrieved the papillon she made for him, besides refusing to dance with Chloé because he only wanted to dance with Marinette.
Sooo yeah, I wonder if the timespan of the movie was really such a big issue, as they cut something important that they still had pretty much figured out.
Speaking on the other hand from the point of view of analyzing the feelings themselves, let’s first focus on Marinette.
Marinette's feelings for Adrien blossom when he helps her up and worries about her, which has never happened to her before. Sure, Alya had rescued her and was her first friend, but it was a different attitude. Adrien worried about her several times and patiently helped her and that gesture, for her who was always teased or ignored, was fundamental. Her slow realization and her desire to get to know him better slowly pushed her to solidify that feeling and to be able to develop their friendship, although this element unfortunately had little space.
The depiction of Marinette's feelings was excellent despite everything, starting from a gradual shy crush, growing towards friendship and then becoming a conflict with the feeling directed towards two different boys.
As for Adrien's feelings, as already mentioned, we're sadly pretty short on the Adrienette front from his perspective. However, we can still note that although he finds Marinette "strange" for her behavior, he does not make fun of her in her face or behind her back with other people. He is not saying it with ill intentions, it’s just a very true observation. He helps her gently and slowly opens up, supporting her in her needs and allowing her to support him back.
On the Chat Noir front, again as already mentioned, we can clearly see that his feelings for Ladybug were born as a crush, almost comically, just when the girl saved him. Initially, his feelings are quite confused, guided by the idea he has of her. However, already from the second mission, their attitude towards each other changes and Chat begins to discover the most creative sides of the partner. The boy is aware of Ladybug's fears, because she herself tells him about it and we can see in the timeskip that they have fought together for a long time and have also dedicated time simply to get to know each other. He knows she is scared but she is still trying and his feelings grow. Ladybug too clearly starts falling for him.
We can say the partnership of the two heroes in this version is very interesting, because it doesn't start in a positive way at all. The two argue, as their Kwamis apparently do. They are really in conflict, because they are opposites. However, their bickering slowly turns thanks to the acceptance into affectionate banter and retort, no offense.
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Their partnership throughout the film demonstrates the need for a balance, between a Chat expert in physical combat that shows him easily beating Ladybug, and a more creative and flexible Ladybug in exchanging strategy.
We see them engaged in fighting schemes, in coordination, to the point where it is no longer just a saying "stronger together" but a real rule. Their miraculous actually strengthen when they are in sync, like the Ying and Yang, two figures that complement each other.
And the sidekick figure that switches from Ladybug to Chat, then disappears. Their simple partnership, their collaboration and support in an unknown situation, leads them to improve their character from every point of view, to the point of reflecting on their lives as civilians.
For the timeframe available, an excellent job has been done on these aspects.
The only flaw remains Adrien's conflict and the consequent lack of "The Wall Between Us".
It was also excellent how the natural conflict was moved to Ladynoir and all the relationships were treated in a very natural and realistic way. Adrien and Marinette’s initial conflict in the series lasted very short and was quite forced, while Ladynoir has all the reasons to have it for how their personalities were presented and for their roles. Them growing in their civilians and heroic parts was done very beautifully.
Speaking less of objectivity and more of personal taste, I would have liked them to use the Marichat route more than the parallel love of Adrinette and Ladynoir, always insertable.
Furthermore, I would have appreciated that the reveal came more for the fulfillment of the heart and less for events that forced it. That is, that falling in love led the heart to understand that the two loved ones were the same person.
However, these elements are pure personal taste, and I don't find their absence a real fault of the movie.
Another element that I greatly appreciated is the fact that we saw a montage of Alya, Nino, Marinette and Adrien coming out as friends and forming a tight group.
It is a very important detail for the development of the characters.
COMPARISON TO THE SERIES
*CRACKS KNUCKLES*
Ok, as said at the beginning of this post, you are free to skip this part. If you decide to read it, know that I don't expect you to agree with me or that I’m not judging who didn't like the movie and who loves the series more.
This is just my personal opinion and I apologize if at times it can come across as quite intense. That is totally not my intention!
It is no surprise that I liked the movie and that I enjoyed it more than the series.
I am aware that one is a movie, with limited time, and one is a series. And I am also aware that they are products written in different conditions.
However, with one being the original source, I feel it is impossible to avoid a comparison.
One thing I'd also like to point out is that it's not about what I like best as a trope. Because if that were the case, I wouldn't have liked the movie at all; Marichat is my favorite ship as a concept and I think it's the best development for the story, and as you well know it's totally absent from the movie and with the reveal already done there can't be any pre-reveal development in the sequel.
I also like the idea that they realize their identities with their hearts after they meet.
The show has tropes that I might like, some even more than the movie. However, it was the way things were handled that led me to the conclusion that the movie did a better job in the writing.
It's a common thing I've heard in the fandom that the movie in an hour and a half has done more than the series in 5 seasons.
And well, I think that's true, although I also think it's crucial to explain why and what was done better.
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First of all…
I don't think a more confident Marinette is a problem. What I think has been the mistake in the way she's been handled on the show is to have her act so… extreme. Her weird behavior is a manageable element, but it's one thing to be weird cute that can embarrass you, it's another to make it so over the top that it becomes all of her character, especially while implying that those attitudes are a normal thing. Especially if when she makes a mistake she either doesn’t pay for it, or she does but goes back to stage 0 from the following episode. Or even if it’s portrayed as nothing is wrong at all.
I don't think it's a good move  to have her act like this for 4 out of 5 seasons of the first arc, rendering her unable to hold a conversation with Adrien and form a natural friendship with him BEFORE entering a relationship with him.
We barely saw the group of friends (Alya, Nino, Mari and Adrien) hang out, perhaps justifiable by Gabriel’s choice to keep Adrien locked up. But there was never an attempt to get around it and still allow the characters to interact for an adequate period of time except in very rare cases that lasted very little, when the series had all the time to do it.
Most of Adrien and Marinette's conversations were cut short and we can count on our fingers how many times the two had a heart-to-heart before getting together. It got to the point that Marinette admitted that she didn't know Adrien at all at the beginning of the fifth season and not recognizing Chat in Adrien in the fourth, which is very grave.
The movie, with its limited time frame, not only managed, albeit largely in a montage, to show us the group of friends that was forming, but also showed how Marinette attempted to get closer to her crush, to get to know him, and have formed a real bond of friendship!
I don't think adding trauma last minute in season 5 to explain Marinette's behavior fixes that. It doesn't work, as she's never had those problems in alternate realities or with other guys she had crushes on and her attitude has never been portrayed as a bad thing.
I much prefer the movie's approach to her feelings and her character, because from the beginning we know that she has problems, we know that what she does is not healthy for herself, but it gets better with time.
Just as I appreciate, as already mentioned, the removal of the initial conflict between Adrien and Marinette, as it was one-sided and basically short-lived. I think the intention of the series was to show that Marinette didn't fall in love at first sight with a pretty face or the boy's fame. However, for 4 seasons it never came out why Marinette liked Adrien, nor were those feelings deepened by the characters as they got to know each other more and more. Marinette has portrayed Adrien as the perfect boyfriend material for a long time in the series, which contradicts the purpose of their initial conflict.
Same goes for Show!Adrien, that barely shows his personal interests and thoughts that aren't Ladybug related (first) or Marinette (later).
The conflict in the movie however was given to Ladynoir, which makes a lot of sense as they are opposites anyway who have to learn to work together. It also brings a whole new development to their relationship which I appreciate.
Chat Noir and Ladybug are treated as equals in a way the series never has. Their powers are balanced, so are their roles in the story, screentime and in combat. Their relationship is never “subordinate and leader” and we watched them explore this aspect until they came to the conclusion that they were equal partners. Even Fu approaches them together Tikki calls them "guardians".
The series dealt with the topic by always leaving Chat Noir in the dark and creating an entire subplot that was never resolved and just showed us a still insistent Chat Noir and a Ladybug who treated her partner badly, with no guilt on the way and with no final apology. 
Using misunderstanding tropes is good if you can handle them.
If we are to believe that Chat and Ladybug are partners, that the characters are equal in roles and relationships, it is not only necessary to say it, but to prove it.
And surely the season 5 finale didn't help in that aspect…
I have delved into these topics in other analyzes that I have done. You can find the analysis of the Ladynoir subplot here.
While here you can find the analysis of the season 5 finale.
Characters with flaws are important, but these aspects must be addressed as such and corrected in an adequate amount of time.
While not as much as Marinette towards Adrien, Chat has also been too insistent on his feelings for too long and I appreciate that with his character change in the movie, we had a natural conflict that turned into respect later on.
Just like I appreciate that their relationship improves in the long run and gives them the courage to improve themselves.
As for the change of personalities itself, I think it's pretty subjective here. It's not wrong to choose a more open Marinette and the same goes for a sunny and innocent Adrien.
These are different interpretations of the characters. I just think with what it has at hand, the movie has managed its version with more skill.
I also much prefer the approach to the character of Gabriel, because while I like the abusive parent road to the core more, I also think it's something to be treated with a lot of care, which is not the case in the show. Gabriel in the movie is a very human character, who, although in conflict, never contradicts himself, unlike Gabriel in the show.
One thing I immediately explained about the movie is that the pacing is poorly managed. True, this is a big flaw. But it's also understandable given the playing time available and the amount of information and relationships they had to readjust.
The series has terrible pacing too. And it has had plenty of time to deal with its elements and most of the changes have occurred in the last season of the first arc, with more elements being dragged further and further and most of which have not been resolved.
It's even missing a lot of lore, when there was so much time to put it in! Even to delve into it in detail.
Or the management of the secondary characters, rightly cut a lot in the movie with limited playing time, but completely incorrect in the series which has every opportunity to make them stand out.
Marinette's falling in love with Chat lasted for a few episodes where she was constantly being told that she was just projecting her crush on Adrien. Adrien falling for Marinette only happened in the last season and that becoming again all he thinks about.
There isn't enough attention to the characters' passions, their lifestyles and they often don't react naturally to things that happen to them. They don't ask themselves out loud things they would naturally think in their situation. The characters don't get to know each other, they don't spend time together normally even just like anime would in their fillers.
This is something we lack in both what they say and what they do.
I would also like to mention that it doesn't matter how many seasons they add. The fact remains that we have had 5 seasons already badly managed. You can add as many seasons as you like afterwards, but you can't fix the issues you've had over 100 episodes with them.
The path is as important, if not more important than the final goal.
In the movie, however, we saw the characters open up about personal issues that they could reveal without worry, even with the masks. We've seen the characters spend time together, have natural conflicts due to their personalities and conditions then resolve still in a natural way. We have always seen a sometimes comical but realistic representation of the feelings of the characters.
What was cut and simplified, allowed for better management of what they had in their hands. That these elements correspond to the vision of many fans is no surprise because Miraculous in its structure is a very predictable series. A series that can have thousands of different developments, but all of which can be foreseen in a certain sense, at least the basic ones.
This however is not a bad thing. The use of clichés or predictable structure is not wrong if well managed. It is much better than the constant pretense of unpredictability which however leads to the distortion of the entire product, making it unnatural and giving unclear or negative messages.
If the movie was just fanservice, we would have had Marichat, the fan-favorite ship.
We would have had the most thorough Adrienette.
In the time available, the movie has proposed a development of relationships and characters that are not perfect, they are flawed but healthier.
We had a semi-conclusion which, however, leaves room for further development into the sequels, for example for the post-reveal relationship of the protagonists.
One never expects the perfect relationship, or the perfect character, but something coherent in its construction and treated for what it is and not pretending it managed something it never really had done.
The movie managed to make the heroes lose but also to make them win, to make love win, which was the message of the film.
Whether it's a non-abusive Gabriel who ends up face to face with his son, whether it's a Chloé with a chance of redemption, whether it's a reveal… all these elements have also been set up in a different way.
Chloé does not go beyond certain limits, the characters got to know each other enough to instantly accept each other at the reveal and react with extreme joy to the point of crying, Gabriel has always shown that he loves his son…
Choosing that Chloé doesn't redeem itself is fine, but it's how it was introduced, managed and set up that is wrong. Gabriel remaining bad through and until the end is fine, as long as the purpose of the villain fathering the male protagonist holds a sense writing wise, confrontations are allowed and no wrong messages are passed across.
Choosing to set character crushes as unhealthy in the beginning is fine, as long as getting to know each other leads them to develop those feelings in a more positive way.
Adding love rivals is fine, if they’re properly handled and they have a purpose that leads the character to learn something and then to a better endgame. 
Adding new villains is okay too if they’re realistic enough to not go outside the suspension of disbelief and they are slowly and constantly built up. Adding conflict and angst is fine, as long as it's natural, leads to an equally good resolution, and has a purpose.
A movie with so many limitations and with its visible flaws, has succeeded in an impressive feat and served up a great product.
Yes, it would have been better if it was the start of a trilogy for the first arc as a whole. It would have been better if it hadn't cut “The Wall Between Us”. It would have been better with a slower pace. It would have been better without the fart jokes!
This movie had the potential to do even more, to be something spectacular.
It did not make it.
But it still managed to be a great movie.
The movie has accomplished a lot in a sea of restrictions.
The series has accomplished very little in a sea of opportunities.
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FINAL VOTE
Movie as a product by itself: 8- / 10
Great messages, great developments and comedy often well managed. High level animations and music. Extremely poor pace management.
Movie as a product of Miraculous: 9.5 / 10
Clearly more successful than the series, although it has strong limitations due to the vast content and the limited playing time. Aspects much better managed from every point of view. The only flaw is the Adrienette content they cut out or the lack of "The wall Between Us"
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nayeonline · 6 months
Text
my 5 favourite k-pop music videos <3
I love music videos, and in k-pop there are a lot of mildy shitty ones, but there are also some amazing ones that are just as iconic as they are aesthetically pleasing. Obviously budget will come into play here, so big 4 groups will be more prevalent on this list, but I tried to be as fair as possible, within reason. Also, I'm a girl group stan, so don't expect many boy groups. Obviously I will forget some, but maybe I'll make a part two, and you are very welcome to leave your fave mvs in the rbs or comments. This list is in no particular order, lets gaur
1. 'Feel Special' - TWICE (JYP Ent.)
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This music video inspired this list, and for good reason. 'Feel Special' is in my opinion, the epitome of Twice, as they stand today. It encapsulates their more mature concept post 'Yes Or Yes', but it doesn't alienate their debut cuter concept, it rather welcomes it with open arms and celebrates it as a part of Twice's history, something their newer releases occasionally struggle with. Visually its a feast, its decadent and lavish, and positively gorgeous. Each member has her own movie-esque set, employing various genres and aesthetics, and then the members unite in the most glittery set ever concieved, the gold contrasting their raspberry and champagne outfits magnificently, while also referencing the group's official colours, as seen on their lightstick. The whole video is cinematic and opulent, and every detail, down to Sana's dip died pink hair, and Nayeon's stunning ginger curls which I wish she would bring back, is flawless. The only gripe I have is Chaeyoung's unblended foundation in her solo scene, but hey, we aren't all be perfect. My favourite scenes in this video are the afor-mentioned glittery golden arches group scene, as well as Jihyo's rainbow vintage television scene, that was surprisingly ahead of its time in terms of its retro aesthetics. It's a must-watch music video for the history books, and it's Twice's best song too - it deserves no less.
2. 'Why Not?' - LOONA (BlockBerry Creative - ew)
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Note: If you would like to watch this m/v, please stream it from a non official yt channel, in accordance with the boycott. They will usually be marked with 'Boycott Ver.' in the title or something similar.
Loona has a lot of amazing music videos in their arsenal, but 'Why Not?' goes above and beyond. It's one of the most visually striking music videos I have ever seen, and its grasp on colour, composition, and rhythm is completely unparalleled. It's vibrancy is just gorgeous, full of neon lights and shining metallics. The video exists in a constant state of dichotomy: both cool and warm, metropolitan and pastoral, manmade and fantastical. You would assume this would ruin the video's visual message, but the contrast actually enhances it, as well as furthering the group's lore. it's unafraid to experiment with aspect ratio and camera movement, and along with the subversive editing, the final product is unique as well as timeless. Who cares that the last five scenes were neon and retro-futuristic? It's time for Heejin and Hyunjin's black and white minimalist mildly 1920s suited up dance break with a 4:3 aspect ratio of course! As the song itself says, why not? It's as playful as the song, as well as being visually stunning. My favourite scenes include Choerry's upside down mirror moment with the neon lights, as well as Kim Lip in the field with the funky glowing orbs, and of course the cult circle on the moon scene. Fucking iconic.
3. 'Ditto' (Sides A & B) - NewJeans (Ador)
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Note: I have a full review of this song, if you are interested.
Where the other videos on this list are overwhelmingly vibrant or cinematic, 'Ditto' is understated and personal. Arguably one of the most influential k-pop music videos of all time, it breaks every rule of what a music video of this genre looks and feels like, rejecting glamour and high fashion for an unromanticized schoolgirl aesthetic surrounded with melancholy. It's heartfelt and unassumingly tragic, and truly makes the viewer yearn for a time they only half remember. It is one of the most beautiful pieces of cinema I have ever seen, and I am so happy that K-pop stans loved it to death as I did, despite how starkly different it is to most everything in k-pop before it. It does however remind me of f(x)'s '4 Walls' m/v, which isn't a shock as Min Heejin (ew) was their creative director also. It also has vibes of the cult classic (?) Japanese movie 'All About Lily Chou Chou'. It has sparked many trends in the industry, including but not limited to: b-roll interspersions, the typical schoolgirl aesthetic, and the general rejection of the polished, glitzy vibe we expect of k-pop idols. Their impact on trends is notable, but in my opinion, no one has executed this aesthetic to the standard that NewJeans has. The unassuming tragic beauty of 'Ditto' is difficult to put into words, you must go and watch the two music videos for it - they are life changing.
4. 'Kill This Love' - BLACKPINK (YG Ent.)
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Say what you will about Blackpink, but they KNOW how to do a music video, and 'Kill This Love' is one of their best; it is beyond extravagant. The sets are huge and striking and insane - Jennie floats on the heads of two enormous swans and all four girls dance in the middle of a huge fucking BEAR TRAP and its ridiculously cool. The fashion and styling is amazing too - my fave looks include Jennie's Lara Croft moment with the braid, Lisa's big ass fur coat from her cereal scene, and Jennie's gorgeous eye makeup from her shopping scene with Lisa. In a word, 'Kill This Love' is extra(vagant). Even the scenes that are conceptually ordinary - Lisa's cereal aisle, Rosé crying in her car - are elevated into the extraordinary. There is no real storyline or through line between the scenes other than their saturated colour palettes and the members themselves, but who cares? The members look like fucking goddesses, the dance looks amazing, and there are MULTIPLE jaw-drop moments throughout the runtime - what more do you want? Where 'Ditto' rejects the typical k-pop visual aesthetics, 'Kill This Love' epitomizes them. If I wanted to explain to western pop stan what k-pop is about, this is the video I would show them first. My favourite scenes include: the group scene with the exploding statues and the bad bitch combat outfits, Rosé caught in the storm with beautiful lighting, and THE BEST SCENE IN A BLACKPINK MUSIC VIDEO EVERRRR... Jisoo's goddess moment with the sun and the reflections. Nobody does music videos quite like Blackpink.
5. 'What Is Love?' - TWICE (JYP Ent.)
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This music video is so unbelievably special to me. It doesn't break any boundaries with camera movement, editing, or aspect ratio like 'Why Not?', and it doesn't entirely reinvent the typical k-pop music video like 'Ditto' either, but I think it is one of the best music videos ever because it is so FUN. 'What Is Love' is a music video that is a series of references to iconic movies, most of which being about love, as the title suggests. It harkens back to 'La La Land', 'La Boum', 'Pulp Fiction', 'The Princess Diaries', and many more, with the girls playing the characters, on their fictional discovery of what love truly is. It's so special to me because it reminds me of doing exactly what the girls are doing with my best friends and my big sister - trying to learn what love is from the movies is something almost everyone has experienced, and thus the whole video feels nostalgic both for its references, and for its overall concept. It's fun and lighthearted and a memory of simpler times. Oh, to be a 12 year old obsessed with 'The Princess Diaries' again, to be a tween watching 'Pulp Fiction' with your big sister when it's probably not age appropriate, to be young teen watching 'La La Land' right when it came out. What a time to be alive. That's what 'What Is Love?' is, it's a celebration of life, of growing up, of being just a little naive and knowing it. Iconic, truly.
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rainbowsky · 3 months
Note
Hope you are well 🙂
Assuming you are an adult working in a job, how do you manage multi tasking with regularly maintaining this blog along with job, personal life stuff etc?
I have tried doing many things at once but got tired of it easily 🥲
Hi Anon, I'm doing well, thanks! Hope you are too! 🙂
Hehe, the easy answer to this question is, I don't. I really don't keep up with any of this. I'm just constantly trying to stay afloat.
I have an inbox that is embarrassingly overflowing. Every one of those messages is someone who had a question or something they wanted to discuss, and their message fell into the abyss.
For every 20 asks I get, I might have time to answer one or two that I have the info ready at the top of my head, or that is easy to find the details on. True, some of the unanswered asks are of the sort I wouldn't be likely to respond to anyway (anti messages, repeats of things that I've already responded to, topics I don't want to discuss), but most are not in those categories.
I have a drafts folder that is similarly bursting at the seams, and a long list of posts that I've started and haven't gotten around to finishing. Bigger projects, some of which I have been picking away at for years. Reviews for dramas, films, songs, performances, etc. that haven't yet finished writing about (not to mention the dramas I'm not done watching!). Ask responses that are thousands of words long but not yet wrapped up. A masterlist post that is many months behind updating, and posts that are getting harder and harder to keep track of.
Lately I've been mainly updating with GG and DD's content - all the great photos and videos that only take a few minutes for me to post - and the occasional ask response.
It makes me really sad, to be honest. There's so much more that I want to share that I've been unable to. But I do what I can.
There are a couple of posts in particular that really mean a lot to me, that I've been unable to finish for various reasons - primarily lack of time and emotional/mental energy.
I also have to contend with my ND brain, which requires deep investment to keep a particular post going. I try to answer asks, for example, that I can easily answer in one sitting. If I have to go back to it later, it's often too difficult to find the thread of where I once was, or get back the momentum I had going.
I never give up on finishing something, though. Some things I'll probably never finish, but others I will definitely make a go of. With the holidays here I'm hoping to have more time to focus on my blog. I guess we'll see. 😅
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ros3ybabe · 6 months
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Daily Check-in: October 12th, 2023 🎀
Today has been a lazy yet somewhat decent day? There's not much to complain about. Besides the fact that I didn't do a single homework assignment, I'm exhausted, so that's alright. I did do a decent amount of Japanese studying today though I didn't open up my Genki Textbook like I had wanted to but oh well, there's always tomorrow!
🩷 What I Ate Today -
Brunch - Spaghetti with ground Turkey and meat sauce
Dinner - Taco bowl with ground beef, black beans, shredded cheese, shredded lettuce, sour cream, a small dollop of avocado, and red salsa with 1.5 low carb tortillas
Snack - bunny tracks ice cream, 16oz bottle of Dr pepper
Extra - 4? cups of coffee (or 5, I can't remember)
I was not very productive today in terms of academic progress, but I still feel like I did what I could given my energy levels. (and caffiene intake). Did not eat the healthiest, but I listened to my body, and honestly, not every day will be perfect, and that's okay!
🩷 Personal Achievements, Oct 12th -
cooked ground beef (leftovers woooo!!)
washed dirty laundry
put away all clean clothes
did my therapy phone call
video called my boyfriend
morning + night skincare
completed 2 duolingo lessons
completed 1 busuu lesson
completed 3 kanji lessons
typed up one draft for upcoming blog post
I had heard about an app called Kanji that teaches you kanji based on JLPT Levels, and I actually really like it, so I bought access to all levels for 11$ USD!! feel like that's a fair price for over 2000 kanji, and I'm excited to start expanding my Japanese knowledge. Also, I am trying out the LingQ app. It's pretty interesting and seems useful for reading practice! I don't know why I got such a kick to study japanese but I am not complaining!!
No Academic Achievements for Today
🩷 Personal ToDo, Oct 13th -
Review previous 3 kanji lessons
Complete 1 duolingo lesson
Complete 1 busuu lesson
Continue Genki I Lesson one (?)
morning + night skincare
morning + night journal
morning workout (at home)
make bed
read 1 chapter of atomic habits or other self help book
🩷 Academic ToDo, Oct 13th -
Culinary Chapter 10 Quiz
Consumer Debt Inventory Assignment
Chapter 9 Notes Psyc
Chapter 9 Quiz Psyc
Attend Psyc Lab
Attend Anatomy Lab
Using Credit Personal Finance assignment
module notes fitness health and sport
module quiz fitness health and sport
work on component 2 for psyc paper
Giving myself a lot of school work to complete tomorrow but that's okay because I have the day off from work so I know I'll be able to get a lot of it done, if not all of it! I'm hoping I sleep decently tonight so I can wake up ready to rule the world tomorrow. My goal is to wake up early, workout, shower, do some makeup and get ready, and be on campus early to get back into the school mindset because I know I've been slacking these last two days. I work a double shift on Saturday, so tomorrow is really the ideal time to finish everything as much as possible.
🩷 Song of the Day: Fearless, Jp Version - Le Sserafim
This has been my anthem lately. It's catchy, and I kind of prefer this to the original version in Korean, but that's a bit biased on my end as I am studying Japanese at the moment.
🩷 Tomorrow Morning Workout - Pilates
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Even if I only finish the first video, I will be proud of myself. It's the effort that counts, and it's definitely gonna be a start! I will be posting an updated current workout schedule with routines soon!!
That's all for now! I will update tomorrow night!
Til next time, lovelies 🩷
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tinydiao · 7 months
Text
Rating bl shows as I watch them.
First things first, Semantic Error and To My Star were actually the 1st ones I watched, like a 4 months ago or so, so while the shows are not fresh in my mind anymore, I do remember liking them.
I recently had a surgery and 2 weeks off work post op for recovery, during which I fell into the rabbit hole of the bl world.
So here I am, writing down my overall thoughts as I watch more shows. Mainly so I can keep up with what I've watched and if I liked them or not.
First up is:
Until we meet again
3/10. Did not finish.
It felt like most scenes of this show were just unessarily dragged on and on. I only got to like ep 6. I think the past couple's whole Romeo n juliet concept and the whole reincarnated lovers concept just wasn't my cup of tea. I dunno. Tbh, after I stopped watching, I just looked up the side couple's, winteam, scenes on yt afterwards. Their scenes were much more intriguing to me than the main's. Again, this is just personal opinion please don't hate me.
Hidden Agenda
8/10.
Honestly fuckin love this one so far. Did not realize that it is a currently airing show when I started it. And kicked myself in the ass for that one because I am a binge watcher. Love the actors that play the main 2, especially Joke. I love his character a lot. It's not overly complicated, and the episodes never feel like they're dragging on. In fact, I'm usually sad when I realize an ep is over. Like I can't get enough of it.
I'll give an updated review when this ends.
The Eclipse
6.5/10.
It's khaotung/first. Like what more can I say. Currently also watching Only Friends and fell in love with them, so I had to immediately watch this one when I saw they were in it. The plot was a little hard for me to follow at first, but boy. . . The plot twists in the end had my jaw on the ground.
Bad Buddy
111111/10
Fucking superb. Top fave so far. 👌 Nanon has quickly become 1 of my favorite actors from gmmtv. And I'm already looking up whatever else he plays in and adding it to my watch list. The relationship in this one... where do I even start? The communication between them was a highlight for me. I also got teary-eyed anytime a heart touching moment happened, so it was able to drag me in emotionally which is hard for me to connect like that with a show. Idk I wish I could watch this show for the 1st time again. Definitely a rewatcher for me.
Not Me
10/10
Would easily be the top fave if bad buddy didn't exist. I did not think I was going to get so attached to the main character White as much as I did. Also, First's acting was amazing. Especially in the later half of the show like wow. I loved the plot of this show. Like if anyone knows anymore bls like this 1 pls rec them to me.
Simply 🤌chefs kiss🤌
My School President
💯/10
This show is everything I've ever wanted in a romantic comedy. Fourth and Gemini play their characters so well. Very charming characters and butterflies-in-ur-stomach-feeling inducing. I felt excited to watch another episode after each would end. I loved the music in this.
Update: It's been a week since I've watched this and I'm still listening to all the songs on spotify. And I already want to rewatch it. I feel like this will become my comfort show.
A Tale Of A Thousand Stars
6/10
The scenery in this is phenomenal, as is earthmixs chemistry. Reminds me so much of the soap operas id see on tv while channel flipping when i was a kid. But the slow burn of it all was having me wish for the ending to come too quickly. I feel like I didn't enjoy as much as the other shows I've seen so far but still liked it none the less. Also, very important opinion: Longtae is such a cutie!!!
That's it for now. If anyone wants to rec me something, pls do, I'm still new to bl so I don't know all whats out there. I'm mainly just sticking to gmmtv series right now since it's easy to access on viki and yt. But I'm open to trying all that's out there lol.
I'll post more mass reviews like this every once in a while when I've completed more series.
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heavyhitterheaux · 2 years
Text
Someone Very Important
A First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU
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Read Side Piece, Have We Learned Our Lesson, and My Baby is Having a Baby first for some background 😘
Yall can thank my baby @moody4world for this one! 😘💕
Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, champagnepapi, normani, druski2funny, and 6,388,279 others
y/ninsta: real pretty and she slim thick wit it 😘
jackharlow: I got the prettiest wife in the world 😍
y/ninsta: jackharlow aww shucks ☺️
dualipa: can we do a poly type situation?
jackharlow: dualipa now why would you ask me that? you really think I'm about to share y/n? 🤨
dualipa: jackharlow you shared her with urbanwyatt 🙄
y/ninsta: jackharlow dualipa AHT! AHT! Cut the shit! A certain person now has Instagram and umm yall need to act like yall got sense in my comment section!
jackharlow: y/ninsta who!?! This my wife page and I can say WHATEVER the fuck I want
y/ninsta: jackharlow baby please 🙃
jackharlow: y/ninsta then tell dualipa to behave
y/ninsta: dualipa honey please don't fight with hubby today
dualipa: jackharlow started it
jackharlow: dualipa did not! but I'm damn sure about to finish it 😤
saweetie: y/ninsta you lived bitch x2!! How many rounds this time?!
y/ninsta: DIAMONTE PLEASE ACT ACCORDINGLY
saweetie: what I do? We always get the sex updates every week. I'm confused. 😂
y/ninsta: someone VERY important is following me now!
saweetie: well they need to get used to it! We not switching shit up just for them
y/ninsta: Jesus be a fence
normani: urbanwyatt SHOW YOURSELF SIR
urbanwyatt: normani whatever it is, I didn't do it
theestallion: urbanwyatt stop lying before I tell y/n to put your weed in her bra again
urbanwyatt: theestallion please don't I'm still traumatized 😔
y/ninsta: will yall cut it out!?!
normani: girl what the hell are you so scared of? you grown the last time I checked. Now who's better urban or jack?
druski2funny: wait a minute now and I wasn’t invited?! I was in Atlanta!
y/ninsta: druski2funny no.
saweetie: I heard good things about both 🤷🏾‍♀️
y/ninsta: NORMANI KORDEI!!! DIAMONTE!!!! SHUT.UP.
normani: fine. keep your secrets.
saweetie: full review WITH pictures and sources will be posted in the group chat NO LATER THAN FRIDAY. I expect no less than 2 pages. One for each.
jackharlow: sharing is caring 😏
urbanwyatt: me and my friend just like twins
jackharlow: same nutsack and the same dick head
dualipa: so you'll share with urbanwyatt and not me!? You made an ENTIRE SONG about me
jackharlow: y/ninsta wrote that remember? I didn't 😂
y/ninsta: jackharlow I'm seriously about to fight you
jackharlow: y/ninsta lemme eat that pussy instead. I'm a lover not a fighter. Matter of fact let me get this whipped cream from the fridge and meet me upstairs 😘
y/ninsta: JACKMAN!
jackharlow: y/ninsta scream it louder baby
y/ninsta: God help me 🙃
sza: I still remember when jackharlow had y/ninsta BENT OVER THE BALCONY in Miami after a dude tried to hit on her in front of him. Could probably hear her screaming all the way in Kentucky.
y/ninsta: BITCH! DELETE THIS NEOW!
jackharlow: gotta admit one of my favorites. I swear y/ninsta if I wasn't holding you, your ass would have tried to hop off the balcony. you better stop running from this dick 😤
saweetie: GIRL!! I forgot about that. She was walking weird for like a week.
druski2funny: damn my boy had you down bad like that y/ninsta?
y/ninsta: druski2funny I plead the fifth
jackharlow: y/ninsta you sure were pleading with me that night
y/ninsta: AND I WAS NOT WALKING WEIRD!
normani: you were baby. everyone could tell.
sza: saweetie remember when we went to brunch the next day and her legs gave out? She almost ended up in the bushes.
lilnasx: saweetie she did end up in the bushes when we went back out later on 😂😂 she should've worn flats because her heels and uhh previous activities weren't a good match
y/ninsta: I just give up
saweetie: sza and then there was the time when we were in the studio and jackharlow came to visit us. the screams that were heard from the bathroom chile... I thought Jack was killing her
jackharlow: saweetie I was. Killing that pussy 😏
maggieharlow: Hi baby girl! You look so pretty! 😍
saweetie: OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OOHHH FUCKKKKKK jackharlow ABORT MISSION. ABORT! ABORT!
sza: maggieharlow hiii mama harlow! 👋🏾 don't mind us!
y/ninsta: maggieharlow thank you mama!! 😘🥰
maggieharlow: sza hey! long time, no see!
sza: maggieharlow I promise to visit the next time y/n and jack come! 🥰
jackharlow: y/ninsta WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY IT WAS MY MOMMA!?!?
jackharlow: saweetie too little too late 🙃
y/ninsta: jackharlow I told you to behave yourself!
jackharlow: y/ninsta but you didn't tell me WHY and sza stop acting all innocent 😒
urbanwyatt: jackharlow Maggie about to beat that ass 🤭🤭🤭
2forwoyne: jackharlow I'll start the funeral arrangements for you
jackharlow: 2forwoyne welp had a good 24 years down here. make sure you put death caused by wife y/n not telling him his mom got an Instagram account
jackharlow: urbanwyatt hopefully she doesn't read all the comments 🙃
maggieharlow: now jackharlow you should know better than that 🤨
saweetie: OH SHIT. bye yall 😘
claybornharlow: 😂😂😂😂
jackharlow: CLAY! Not the time!
jackharlow: maggieharlow hi momma! 🥰
maggieharlow: jackharlow don't hi me Jackman
sza: OOP
jackharlow: maggieharlow just disregard EVERYTHING above this comment 😫
claybornharlow: jackharlow the other day I was thinking and remember the time you were 16 and thought you got y/ninsta pregnant and just knew mom and dad were going to kill you? Never seen you so pale in my life.
jackharlow: IMMA FUCKING KILL YOU CLAY YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE GRAVE
saweetie: WAIT WHAAAATTTTTT I'm back
sza: SPILL THE TEA!
lilnasx: why does this not surprise me? 😂😂
normani: EXPLAIN THIS RIGHT NOW!
druski2funny: jackharlow I thought your pull out game was A1? 😂
urbanwyatt: druski2funny that time it wasn't lmaooo
y/ninsta: jackharlow I THOUGHT YOU ONLY TOLD URBAN
jackharlow: y/ninsta BABE HE MADE ME!
y/ninsta: jackharlow HOW? AREN’T YOU THE OLDER BROTHER?
urbanwyatt: I just want everyone to know that I am the godfather of the first born Harlow child. I've had this position for eight years now and was a witness to finding out when y/n was not pregnant. I actually looked at the test because those two were too scared. I take my job very seriously.
y/ninsta: urbanwyatt NOT NOW URBAN
maggieharlow: jackharlow y/ninsta hop on facetime you two. Now.
y/ninsta: maggieharlow I swallowed my phone
theestallion: need to practice swallowing them kids instead 🤭🤭
saweetie: theestallion Bitchhhhhh shut up 😂😂😂😂
jackharlow: maggieharlow I broke mine
y/ninsta: claybornharlow you were always my favorite Harlow child UNTIL TODAY. Imma beat your ass and your big brother's
jackharlow: y/ninsta HOW WAS I NOT YOUR FAVORITE!?!
claybornharlow: y/ninsta you would kill your only brother-in-law?
y/ninsta: jackharlow because clay has always been my boo duh and claybornharlow YES 🙄
maggieharlow: jackharlow y/ninsta I'm waiting
y/ninsta: maggieharlow I just want to let you know I'm innocent and it was 1000% Jack's fault
jackharlow: y/ninsta WHAAAATTTTT
y/ninsta: jackharlow you were the one who ran out of condoms
jackharlow: y/ninsta and you knew that and you still let me hit 🙄
y/ninsta: touchè
y/ninsta: 2forwoyne make that funeral arrangements for two 😫
Taglist:
@harlowsbby
@babyharleezy
@hoodharlow
@stefansalvatoresgf
@jackiehollanderr
@primadxna-girl
@dessmxsworld
@cockslutslurper3000
@raelorns21
@variety-fangirl
@gbaabyyyy
@kamorsstuff
@harlowthot
@sinsandsuccubus
@curlyhairclub
@bootlegroach
@haylexo10
@thinkingaboutjharlow
@laylasbunbunny
@fluidsentiment
@charli123456789
@moody4world
@yourstrulymayah
@yana4life
@beanbagbitch
@alinadolans
@carma-fanficaddict
@minaxcarter
@arination99
@xjup1t3r
@venusvinc
@jacksmoviestar
@jackharloww
@midnight-star47
@jackharlowsbabe
@minkookie95
@inluvwithladybug
286 notes · View notes
ts1989fanatic · 10 months
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Taylor Swift's fans are renowned for their loyalty and dedication.
Known colloquially as "Swifties," they sell out stadiums in minutes; spend weeks creating intricate outfits that pay tribute to her albums; comb through her lyrics to find Easter eggs and secret messages.
Back in November, the fandom received national attention for taking action after Ticketmaster bungled the Eras Tour presale.
The backlash was so loud and so fervent that the Department of Justice launched an antitrust investigation into Ticketmaster's parent company. The power of Swifties became clearer than ever.
Indeed, the sheer passion of Swift's fans has helped make her the biggest pop star in the world — but that doesn't grant them absolute access to her life and personal space.
Recently, Swift obsessives have been exhibiting overzealous — and frankly concerning — behavior. Videos have circulated online that show swarms of people camping outside her home in New York City and Electric Lady Studios, where she's been spotted working in between tour dates. Other clips show fans chasing her car down the street.
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It's one thing to wait for hours in the pouring rain to watch Swift deliver a spectacular concert. That's her job. It's another, more sinister thing to wait for hours on the sidewalk, just to film her car entering her home garage. That's her life.
Swift has been candid about fending off stalkers throughout her career, making this behavior particularly egregious for anyone who claims to care about her well-being.
"My fear of violence has continued into my personal life," she wrote for Elle in 2019. "I carry QuikClot army-grade bandage dressing, which is for gunshot or stab wounds. Websites and tabloids have taken it upon themselves to post every home address I've ever had online. You get enough stalkers trying to break into your house and you kind of start prepping for bad things."
This is not to say that Swift's most fervent fans are all stalkers, but it's easy to see how this behavior could be triggering for someone who's been stalked. And as Swift said in her "Miss Americana" documentary in 2020, "There's a difference between 'I really connect with your lyrics' and 'I'm going to break in.'" Some Swifties clearly need to be reminded of where that line is.
This is also not the first time Swifties have overstepped. Some fans have been known to harass members of the LGBTQ community for analyzing Swift's songs through a queer lens. Others have sent insults and death threats to music critics for less-than-glowing reviews of Swift's music.
Of course, this behavior isn't unique to Swifties. But Swift's lack of admonition is uniquely strange. She has marketed herself as someone who's not afraid to speak up to defend her values, someone who has explicitly condemned homophobes and bullies in her music.
Swift has also said she's proud of her affectionate relationship with fans. She has invited Swifties to her Nashville home for album listening parties; sent personalized notes to celebrate milestones; donated money for college tuitions; protected concertgoers from aggressive security guards.
Unfortunately, a healthy relationship cannot be sustained with affection alone, be it interpersonal or parasocial.
At the risk of sounding like a wannabe therapist, constructive feedback is essential for growth — and when someone you love disrespects your boundaries, it's not constructive to say silent.
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This is something that Phoebe Bridgers, Swift's friend and collaborator, knows all too well.
Although Bridgers experiences fame on a vastly different level than Swift, she has also been subjected to abuse and entitlement at the hands of "people with my picture as their Twitter picture."
In a March interview with Them, Bridgers said she was "bullied" in the midst of a speculative frenzy about her dating life — while she was on the way to her father's funeral.
"I've had people take more than I'm giving, and I'm giving a lot," Bridgers recently told the Wall Street Journal. "I'm pretty fucking transparent, because I would value that in someone whose music I liked when I was a kid. Seeing any representation of any feeling and anything true was awesome to me. To be punished for that is so dark."
"There's a higher chance that you'll meet a fan that you hate than a fan that you love," she added. "You're way more likely to be confronted with someone who just violated your privacy."
If these quotes rub you the wrong way, you may be the problem.
Connecting to a person's music does not give you the right to violate her privacy, and Bridgers isn't afraid to draw that line. I wish more musicians would follow suit.
Ahead of Bridgers' final performance at the Eras Tour on Sunday, I hope Swift is able to absorb some of her bravery and wisdom. It's OK to criticize people for bad behavior — and the fans who stick around are the ones worth keeping.
ts1989fanatic
Even the media can get it right on occasion, the recent behaviour by some so called swifties is bordering on STALKING and needs to stop.
Unless we all want to go back to why she disappeared again.
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chickenstrangers · 3 months
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2023 gifs in review tag game
tagged by @khaotunq (here!) to post my favorite/most popular gifs throughout the year. thank you!!🩵🩵🩵
I only started making gifs partway through this year, so there was a big learning curve and i still think i'm pretty newbie but it has been a lot of fun and it's nice looking back on how much i think i've improved, though i have so much left to learn next year
i am going to ramble too much because this is my post, fair warning, forgive my self indulgence
april
this was the very beginning, back in the photopea days before i tried photoshop (i am still quite fond of photopea, 1. because it is free and 2, for stills i think it's just as good as photoshop, but i could never figure out how to make gifs look good with its dithering system. i have seen some remarkable gifmakers using photopea tho so that's a my limited skill problem, and i'm glad i used it to dip my toes into the process!)
i only posted 1 set for abaab this month which looks not good but is still a very fun scene, but this was not actually the first thing i made (see below).
may
most popular: msp finale, tinn knowing all the words to gun's song <3
favorite: moonlight chicken, my first ever gifset and the reason i got into gifmaking because i wanted to capture the way moonlight chicken visually returned to locations and shots to underline its theme of loneliness being replaced by community, which is the mlc repetitions series
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june
most popular & favorite: kiss me again (2018) and the lovely way june say's goodby to his friends (i learned how to add text to gifs for this one, and not only that but timed text! i thought it would get like 5 notes. it's very messy and doesn't look great, but i'm proud that i learned something with it, and i think its very funny and that's all that matters to me)
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july
it's photoshop time now!! photoshop beloved you make such beautiful gifs and also you are So Slow and my computer cannot handle you.
most popular: only friends original trailer set
favorite: jimwen looking at each other set (the start of my most belovedest of series, the followup to the first ever meta i wrote)
august
most popular: part 1 of the can't i look at you edits, cool tones edition
favorite: part 2 of the can't i look at you edits, warm toned edition (i love them both but this has two of my all time favorite wen faces)
hey its my profile picture and also i find it very funny that the Os line up with his eyes, and the second gif i love how impossibly happy they look
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september
my busiest month in terms of gifs, in large part due to only friends
most popular: topmew and fire
favorite: alanwen poetry edit i spent soooo long learning keyframes for the heartbeat effect and then the ghosting effect was a happy accident thank you person in the background walking past at the right moment
(i also love my charn laws of attraction set because he was a surprise favorite character this year, i loved collecting the quotes for how he speaks of himself)
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october
most popular: only friends sandray finale parallel set (it is. very very close to 1k which is. so many).
favorite: he's coming to me edit because it was so fun to make for @dudeyuri
november
most popular: not me sean and black getting along super duper well!
favorite: moonlight chicken haunted house edit, accompanying this meta/creative writing thing. i loved choosing liminal feeling shots for it and i liked how the simple typography turned out
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december
most popular: a little jim and wen set i am very fond of
favorite: the moonlight chicken new years set i posted today. i love this little chicken diner
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hey look i managed to mention moonlight chicken almost every month (i swear, i watched so many favorite shows this year but i loved making mlc gifs so much)
and that's that! thanks for reading if anyone read til the end.
no pressure tags for some amazingly talented creators who have made some of my favorite sets this year (if you feel like talking about some of your highlights, whether monthly or not, because you all make so much incredible work and i'd love to hear about it) : @hoppipolla @sollucets @icouldhyperfixatehim @celestial-sapphicss @chinzhilla @krystaljungs @moonkhao and anyone who wants to, consider yourself tagged <3
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virtualflatmates · 8 months
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H's Series Wrap-Up:
Our Skyy 2 (2023)
As promised, here's the first of my pending review posts on recently finished series. I needed a while to watch all the OS2 specials, but I took some notes after watching each installment.
I'm going to keep it short since the specials were just add-ons to series I have mostly covered in reviews of their own.
(You will notice this is missing ABAAB, but since I haven't seen the series itself, I skipped that installment.)
x Never Let Me Go - 8.5/10
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I liked it! The story was well-paced for a span of two episodes. They had a clear goal and managed to achieve it, learned things about themselves and made plans for the future along the way. Perfectly serviceable little addendum to and expansion of Nueng and Palm's story. The seeds for the sorta soulmate concept had been planted in the series itself when the two of them talked about the split-human philosophy, which prevented this special from seeming like too far of a reach. The time travel provided us with some interesting period looks, and I liked the visuals overall, too. Really enjoyable. I would even say it felt more rounded than the OG series did. 😅
x Star in my Mind - 4/10
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Well, this was just about as eventful as the preview suggested. The main pairing didn't frustrate me like it had done in the original series - instead, I was just...bored by the two episodes?
I really tried to get into it. But it was more like tumbleweeds in my mind for me.
x The Eclipse - 9/10
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Loved it. It wasn't as much of an 'epic' plot as the NLMG episodes, but it was well-rounded for what it aimed to achieve, which is bring up Akk's and Aye's fundamental differences in character, wrapped up in Wat's film project framework.
It goes almost without saying at this point that First and Khaotung waltzed through the special on their incredible chemistry without breaking a sweat. They are so good together, picking up on each other's cues perfectly and elevating every scene into a league of their own. Akk and Aye's increased domesticity, quarrels and physical chemistry tracked very much with them being a little further along in their relationship, but still figuring some things out. Amazing job, as always.
Yeah, I wasn't a fan of Aye being knowingly inconsiderate towards Akk's feelings just to keep the surprise a secret. He could have just as easily made Akk cry by performing that song as a surprise even while being there and wishing him a happy birthday, like a normal person. I felt so bad for Akk. In the end, I really wanted him to tell Aye again how much he hurt him by pretending. I get that he forgave him so quickly because that's very Akk, but boy. Have some respect for your own feelings, please. 🥺
But generally I liked the premise because it made me feel things. You know? Unlike the other specials so far, this one managed to put my heart through the wringer a little while they were being cute together. The whole filming of Akk and Aye's testimonials and then that moment where they had to choose whether to embrace each other - with all their differences - or walk away? So good. It was SO good. And, of course, First and Khao absolutely delivered emotionally. I can't sing their praises enough.
Not a lot to say about KanThua - they were cute and gave us a nice fluffy background. Their own little issues were a good mirror to Akk and Aye's. Wat and teacher Sani didn't (explicitly) end up becoming a thing as many feared, which I appreciate. Wat getting the honourable mention award for his film was great and his joy so adorable!
Akk and Aye's song was cool, though I had to chuckle imagining someone sitting in the back putting autotune on. Love the song though. And love watching First cry, that always feels like someone has a death grip on my heart 🥲.
Also who had their money on The Eclipse special delivering the MOST and BEST kisses and makeout sessions in all of Our Skyy 2? Started off strong, ended even stronger. They really had both episodes framed by Akk and Aye kissing and I respect that.
Now, excuse me as I die preemptively before the premiere of Only Friends.
x Vice Versa - 5/10
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Hmm. The kid plot didn't do it for me to begin with, mainly because they spent so much time on just montages of playing with Jigsaw, which was...kinda boring? But then on top of that we get the reveal that it was all a ruse set up by Two und Tup, and upheld by Puen. First of all, mad props to Talay I guess for taking it in stride because I'd have been hella mad. Second of all - it's super creepy to manipulate a literal child to go live with two strangers and call them papa. Really?! They should pray that Tup's sister never finds out about this. Although I kinda hope she does...
The only part that I really enjoyed about the special was everything that came before the kid plot. Talay and Puen realising that their relationship got put on the back burner in lieu of their jobs, and then making a conscious effort to remedy that with these sweet and adorable little daily quests was precious and wholesome. I really wouldn't have minded if they instead got to do whatever Puen was going to plan for them next, instead of the whole Jigsaw thing.
I don't quite understand why Puen agreed to keep up the lie when he found out, since he and Talay had been rather successful in actively fixing their troubles at that point. Leaving aside the emotional implications of it all (how Puen betrayed Talay's trust), there wasn't even a narrative need for Jigsaw to 'bring them closer' again.
It got a 5 on account of me liking Sea and Jimmy, but I am sad to say this one didn't land for me.
x My School President - 7.5/10
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It was rather cute, as expected, but not much more.
I think they could have executed the multiverse concept in a more interesting way if they hadn't recycled so much dialogue. My favourite aspects of this special were the MV inspired by P'Aof's works, and Fourth's acting - I really enjoyed how his portrayal still felt quintessentially like Gun with all his insecurities and hopes, yet he behaved in a way that reflected his different place in this universe. I almost feel bad for saying this, but I feel like he was the only one able to convincingly pull that off in the special.
I liked most things that significantly deviated from our OG universe, and wish that they had done more of that. All in all, it was a fun time that I felt didn't quite recapture the incredible excitement I had for the OG series.
x Bad Buddy x A Tale of 1000 Stars - 9.5/10
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This one turned out to be my favourite installment of Our Skyy 2.
A lot has been written on how great the parallelism and combinations of characters worked with Pat/Pran and Tian/Phupha, so I am not going to try and repeat all the analyses. I was thoroughly charmed meeting our heroes again and accompanying them on another part of their evolving journeys together, and seeing their continuing growth.
I loved how grounded this special felt, and how well humor, retrospection, and romance were balanced.
Pairing Pran and Tian as well as Pat and Phupha together on their "adventures" was such a smart move that really brought out their personalities against each other. I enjoyed every moment these guys were on screen together.
The only thing I wish we had a little more of is insight into Phupha's mind, even though the reasons behind his resistance and hesitation can be reasonably deduced. The proposal at the end was beautiful, but I missed just a tiny bit of an introspection moment of Phupha beforehand.
Overall, however, the crossover worked incredibly well (genius move with the script rights to bring them together) and was emotionally satisfying - I tip my hat to every participant of this installment. Great work, everyone.
And now, some quick category winners!
Best special:
Bad Buddy x ATOTS: I thought having these characters meet elevated them as pairs. This was a great addition to both original series and even better in combination.
The Eclipse: It's more of First and Khaotung, which is automatically its own league. I can't get enough of them! The story was well told within the 2-episode restraints they had.
Best pacing:
Bad Buddy x ATOTS: Aof & co. have done it again. I have nothing but praise about this whole thing.
Best chemistry:
Akk/Aye: First and Khao just...delivered. On every level - emotionally, physically, naturally.
Favourite moment:
Akk and Aye choosing to embrace each other despite their fundamental differences. That one will stay with me for a while.
Best OST:
Your World, My World (The Eclipse). I really expected this category to go to the MSP special, but whaddaya know. I am absolutely in love with this track.
...what do you mean, this election is rigged? No it's not!
And that's my personal wrap-up of Our Skyy 2. See you in the next one!
Until then...
ARE YOU GUYS READY TO DIE EVERY WEEK ON SATURDAYS???
ME NEITHER :D
Good luck and take care <3
- H
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Jimin, dude, man, bro, wtf? What in actual goddamn fuck???
Listen, there like 3 Jimin solo songs I like and I am not a big fan of some of his vocal choices but let me tell you I was really hyped and hooked when the teasers came out. The drama, war anthem-ness, the grandeur of everything, I liked it all. So I was quite disappointed when the news of him rapping came out because I've heard him rap before and it was bad, and I especially was reluctant to watch the whole MV after I heard a snippet of it on my tl (the stylistically autotuned rap part, yeah). I was afraid to be disappointed after such great teasers.
despite my fears I finally watched the MV... fuck... WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK PARK JIMIN??? It's so damn good! Even the rap part??? I LOVED it. Separately it doesn't sound very nice but combined and mixed it somehow works well. And his stylistic vocal choices, the way he changes his voice all the time, it's amazing, it keeps you hooked and anticipating what comes next, it keeps surprising you, even shocked at some point. I haven't been a fan of bts songs since the fake love era (even black swan is not IT for me, it's really good but not THAT great) so it says a lot. this one is easily one of my faves EVER in their discography.
The song is a statement. A grand opening. Empowering.
BTW, the song is totally a type of song that you would play in your car while driving around with your friends and singing-shouting along. Wow, just wow.
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Ask 2: Opinions on set me free pt. 2 seem to be divided in some circles 👀👀👀 ofc because of the vocal processingz that’s a common complaint for so many years already lol. I mean Pdogg is the main producer of the album so idk what they expected… personally i love the song and i think the vocal processing works but i think i can understand some people have different tastes and expectations… at the end of that day it was a choice consciously chosen by jimin and his producers. It’s there for a reason imo. I’m happy though that jimin really tried something different!!!!! So many people were expecting a ballad for this title instead we got a banger lol… and like you said Yoongi’s style is obvious even when he doesnt have a hand in making it directly… now i’m so curious what like crazy will sound like!!!! But i wanna ask if youll be making a post for set me free bpp???
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Posting these two asks now because my inbox is already getting out of control and between getting zero sleep and a flight I've got to catch in exactly 73 minutes, I'd rather briefly get out some thoughts now, regardless of if they're coherent or not, because I don't know when next I'll have time.
Hi Anon(s),
I don't think I'll ever write a full review for this song, because there's a lot about it I don't want to talk about, a lot I don't want to share and would rather keep to myself.
That said,
Everything about Set Me Free Pt. 2 is right up my alley and objectively brilliant. Every single thing about it: the melody, the autotune, the chants, the rap, the fact the whole thing plays out in the same prison, the way Jimin uses his body as a canvas for inscriptions that only enhance his storytelling, the performance.
I have nothing to say to anyone who doesn't like this or that about it. Rapper Jimin was in my wishlist for PJM1 so... and I'm a hiphop head who listens to Travis Scott-type autotune at least a couple times a day. Plus I've got Yoongi, that nasty, autotune-loving, foul-mouthed cat as my bias. Joon and Hobi aren't that much nicer either. Anybody reading this to hear me say something critical about this song should wake up and smell the matcha.
Some things I want to gush about:
First of all, the instrumentals. PDogg went stuuuuuuuuuuuupid on this track goddamn.
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This song is pure trap. An orchestral, haunting trap anthem is what Set Me Free Pt. 2 is.
It is so sick. So maddening in how good it is. No wonder he was so excited about Jimin ending k-pop in 2023, the song he produced is easily the best produced Korean song so far and believe me when I tell you that is really saying something, because the competition this year has been stiff.
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The Vocals
Jimin's voice is the most emotive in BTS. That's one reason I love it. Another reason is because nobody's vocals in BTS, in k-pop, fuck, in all of Korea, drips as much sauce as Park Jimin's. I've said before, Jimin sounds inhuman almost, I describe his voice as serrated steel coated in honey and wrapped in silk because it sounds distinctly metallic, but can be oddly soothing. But with Jimin, there's a tone he takes sometimes that has this undercurrent of nasty, of unapologetic vulgarity, and in Set Me Free Pt. 2, he uses autotune to amplify it to brain-piercing perfection.
PDogg brilliantly uses autotune to aid Jimin in sending a message.
The shrillest, most distorted we hear Jimin is when he raps after the first chorus, and that's by design. The use of autotune in this song is intentional, and we can see this because every time it ratchets up, Jimin is being crude and uninhibited - as though it's a second voice, an alter-ego, or Jimin himself speaking the deepest truest thoughts he holds, pushing them to the surface after suppressing them for nine years.
PDogg has used this sort of autotune on Jimin's voice before, in the second chorus of Black Swan (timestamp: 2:24 - 2:50)
youtube
It's hidden in the backing vocals in Black Swan but felt in full cathartic force in SMF pt 2. And it feels incredible.
Stream:
youtube
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The Message/Lyrics
This is the part I don't want to write about because I'd rather keep my thoughts to myself. Not because I have special insight or think I've discovered something no one else sees or whatever, but because it's the only thing about this song that stayed within my expectations of who I think Jimin is. Plus I'm certain various interpretations will be offered by many other bloggers, so I'm okay sitting this one out.
That's the most I'll say now.
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burning--heart · 3 months
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The Grinning Man is Not a Horror Show
this post brought to you by: my own personal experience trying to show this musical to people (which i have already talked about briefly) and also this post by castledock:
the mainstream media’s perception of LHQR is almost always “well I haven’t watched or read it but this guy looks scary so it must be a very disturbing and scary book/movie” and every time I go outside of my little circle of LHQR Appreciators it’s like being slapped in the face by Ableism
i’m spinning this off into my own post because the essay got Long and also it’s definitely about tgm and not lhqr. strap in y’all.
like, ok. you see the pictures online. the protagonist has a bloody bandage on his face, the lighting is moody, and the puppets are creepy i guess (but they are so charming once you see them in motion)…
i’ll be focusing on flesh-and-blood adult grinpayne and his face. does it cause him a lot of grief? yes. is it central to the show? absolutely. but are you meant to be scared or disturbed by it? no. if you were, then yeah. this would be a horror show, and a bitingly ableist one at that. but it’s not.
there is one single moment where we are made to see grinpayne’s face as horrifying, and even then it's... well. it’s not about his smile being grotesque. not really.
it happens when his frustration at being kept as a spectacle because of his face reaches a tipping point. he bites back. "i'm the stuff of your nightmares," he says, "i am the freak show! watch me smile!" it's not an empowering moment. he is gutting himself for his audience.
He removes his bandages and reveals his jaw - a huge nightmarish bloody grin. Horribly unhealed. Red. Raw. Glistening. It's there, and then it's gone. “Laughter" riff crashes in and the world tilts.
Above is the stage direction from the script. Note that the “Laughter” motif is identified by name.
We can see how this was executed onstage in Bristol: The reveal is accompanied by sickly green strobe light, Louis Maskell as Grinpayne snaps his head to the side, there's a brief blackout, we are jumpscared by a giant grinpayne puppet head in the same green strobe, blackout again, then it’s on to the characters' reactions.
It sounds horror on paper. it looks very horror in Bristol. and yet the characters react as though they've just seen heaven. what's up with that?
here lies one of the biggest challenges the grinning man has: its empathetic theme gets easily muddied by the reactions the other characters have to grinpayne. generally, when experiencing a story, we look to the characters within it for cues on how we should feel about its topics, and they guide us through it. this is especially true of media aimed at children. the grinning man is... not like that. the royals and the people of the fair see his face and they are instantly enlightened! with sudden clarity, you're him, and he is you!
the audience doesn’t get it. 
but i don't think we're supposed to.
Song lyrics like ‘you realise that you are him and he is you’ explain to us Grinpayne’s effect on his audiences, but we are never shown that experience nor are we invited to feel that experience ourselves. (Brendan Macdonald, Exeunt)
this reviewer was close, very close, but has jumped to conclusions and ended up shutting the door on the idea that makes the musical make sense. its true that we are told how the other characters see grinpayne, and we don't get to experience that for ourselves. but the thing is, while we are told one thing, we are actually being shown something entirely different.
characters in his audience look at grinpayne and we are told they have an earth-shattering revelation. we hear them explain it multiple times. despite this, their reaction is not what we feel. this is the part that's unintuitive.
here’s where we circle back to the face reveal. the dramatic imagery clashes with what the fictional audience is seeing and feeling. this is because we, the non-fictional audience, are not supposed to be putting ourselves in their shoes at all. the character we’re anchored to is grinpayne. and to him, this is not a triumph of self-discovery. the horror isn’t in his appearance, it’s in how people treat him because of it.
and when it comes to the characters’ revelations, it’s not really about grinpayne anyway. it’s about themselves and what they project onto him, whatever that is. grinpayne is a symbol to almost everyone, whether they see him as a gruesome face, a lord, or a god. they don't understand him when they look at his face.
the audience of the grinning man, unlike the characters within it, are provided the opportunity to connect with grinpayne on a deeper level. we get to dive into his head like nobody else. this is why “Labyrinth” is a big deal (this is also why them changing over half the lyrics to this song at the transfer is a big deal). this is why dea’s love for him is a big deal: she sees him for who he is, and has from the start.
we also get to see the “real” grinpayne (and even love him for who he is), but unlike the characters’ sudden (and shallow) enlightenment, our understanding of grinpayne is gradual, but truer because of it. it builds slowly and perhaps unnoticed throughout the show until you’re fully immersed; it’s something that you feel, not think. though, if i had to pick a moment, personally, it would be “when they are gazing at my grin / what is it that they see within?” from “Labyrinth” because that line knocks me on my ass to this day.
and. surprise! this deeper understanding is also why i think this show is a musical and not a straight play. nothing has the emotional capacity that music does. we aren’t just told the way grinpayne feels; his songs allow us to feel with him in a way that spoken word never could. that’s how we connect.
at the end of the day, this guy still has a bloody face. and some people are going to see this and assume that tgm is horror. but hopefully if they watched it they’d change their minds, because the grinning man shows us the most (and only truly) disturbing thing about grinpayne’s injury is the cruelty and misunderstanding he faces at the hands of a miserable world where “laughter is the best medicine.” and “I Am the Freak Show” may contain the moment with the strongest “horror” visuals in the show, at least in the original production, but it’s actually a crucial example of why tgm itself is not a horror show itself.
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