#if only they had been given the space to develop fully

[vasilissadragomir]

one of the most heart-wrenching things about thg universe is that you feel the loss of who each character would be outside the circumstances of their birth almost as acutely as you feel the loss of the characters themselves.

sure, we know what lucy gray and her family would be doing in a different world; she’d be dancing and singing and making music which defines a cultural identity. but what about the others? would haymitch have been a hilarious, loving father with a family had he not been forced to survive 47 other children’s brutal deaths? would finnick have been a charismatic and beloved actor, bringing joy to immeasurable people on his own terms? would beetee and wiress have worked together to develop technology to make it easier to connect loved ones far and wide? what would reaper and annie have given to the world, or thresh, or rue, or even coral or cato or glimmer or clove?

if katniss wasn’t half-starving and forced to spend each day hunting to feed her family, would archery be her true passion? or if she’d been a well-sustained little girl with access to art supplies, would she have spent her time sketching captivating dresses? she picks up ropes and making fish hooks quickly—could her dexterity have lent itself to knitting, sewing, or crocheting with vibrant yarns and fabrics? there’s so much evidence that katniss finds clothing inspiring and empowering, even when she dismisses it as frivolous. she likes being pretty, she just hates the circumstances under which she’s made to look pretty. cinna shows her that beauty has its own power, and there are several moments in her interactions with cinna and his designs that make me wonder who she’d be if she had space for art and creativity in her life.

conversely, peeta has had art in his life since he was a small child, but for him, art has always been entangled with his trauma. he could bake and decorate well because he learned from his mother, a mother who beat him his whole life. but his talent grows, not only as a survival tool in the first games, but when he paints rue on the floor of the training center before the second games. his art becomes not only a symbol of his trauma, but a means of resistance and solidarity. in a world where peeta’s intrinsic kindness and loving heart had been nurtured and welcomed rather than abused, could he have been a painter, helping people find collective meaning in the simple realities of life?

could katniss and peeta have still found each other in another world, a world without the horrors they were raised with, and bonded over their love of art? could they have been each other’s muses?

maybe they find their way to share art, after the events of mockingjay, as part of their process of healing and falling in love with each other. when they’re finally safe and have been for a long time, maybe katniss fashions peeta an easel for him to paint in their living room. after months of watching him gaze out the window and paint the changing leaves, katniss takes to knitting on a rocking chair in the other corner of the living room to steady her restless hands. they work silently as the days go by, quietly exchanging the things they’ve made to give each other the reassurance and love neither could ever fully convey with words.

and maybe one day, when they learn there’s a baby on the way due in midwinter, katniss takes a page from peeta’s sketchpad and starts to plan a series of sweaters and hats and socks she can knit for the baby. and peeta goes to the little nursery upstairs and starts working on a mural, so the baby will have something beautiful to look at every day. they work together to design the perfect baby blanket for their child, to ensure they will always be wrapped in a layer of protection and love by their parents.

but even if they find creativity and beauty in their lives after the end of mockingjay, the art they make will simply never be what that art could have been had they not faced what they faced. art comes from suffering, yes, but the human condition has so much suffering as is, and we’d never know what kind of art they’d make if they hadn’t experienced trauma of a distinctly sadistic and inhuman nature. but maybe their children, raised in a better world with love and protection and safety and joy and creativity and expression, will be the ones to create the art peeta and katniss never could.

#thg #the hunger games #hunger games #katniss #peeta #everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #cinna #lucy gray #lucy gray baird #thg analysis #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #finnick odair #annie cresta #catching fire #mockingjay

[specialagentartemis]

Something always fascinating to me is the "character who thinks they're in a different genre" phenomenon. The theme of the story you are telling determines what the right and wrong actions to take are; but the characters, reacting in-universe to the situation, don't know what story they're in, and the exact same responses can be what saves you or damns you depending on what kind of story the author is telling and what the story's message is about what life is like.

In Wolf 359, Warren Kepler approaches the mysterious and powerful aliens with threats; he kills their liaison and tries to position himself as a powerful opponent. However, he's shown to be wrong and making things worse: his preemptive aggression is unwarranted and unhelpful and bites him in the ass. The aliens want to communicate and understand humanity and share our music. It's Doug Eiffel, the pacifistic (and kind of scaredy-cat) communications officer who loves to talk and share pop culture, who talks to them and understands that the aliens are scary not because they want to kill us but because they don't understand the concepts of individuals and death. Talking to them, communicating with them, understanding where they're coming from and and bringing them to understand a human point of view, is what succeeds. Openness rather than suspicion, trust rather than aggression. Kepler thinks he's a dramatic space marine protecting the Earth from the alien threat by showing them humans are tough and can take them, but that's not the kind of story this is.

Conversely, in Janus Descending, Chel is in awe of the strange and beautiful alien world around her. She wants to touch it, understand it, get up close to it. When she sees a crystal alien dog, she wants to befriend it, despite Peter's warning. But when she gets close to it, extending her arm in greeting, it attacks her and drags her down into the cave to try to eat her. This sets the inevitable tragedy in motion. Suspicion is warranted; trust will get you killed. Because this is a sci-fi horror, with a major running thematic reading about how racism and sexism will destroy your brain and your society, and how the people who think they're too smart to be prejudiced don't see their own prejudice and will end up ruining the lives of the people they still don't fully see as equals, this kind of trust that Chel shows this strange alien is tragic. However it is also a horror story where there are very real hibernating space snakes ready to wake up and eat the fresh meat that has landed on their planet, and by being too trusting Chel has accidentally introduced herself to one.

Kepler, suspicious and ready to shoot any alien he doesn't understand, would likely have survived Janus Descending; Chel, with her enthusiasm for learning about and meeting aliens, would have been a wonderful and helpful member of the Wolf 359 crew.

In a similar manner, in Alien, Ellen Ripley yells to the rest of her crew not to bring the attacked crewmember with the alien on his face back on the ship and into the medical bay, you don't know what contamination that thing might have; she's ignored. She tells them not to let the crewmember out of quarantine even though he seems fine; she's ignored again. Ripley is the one person protesting this isn't safe, we don't know what's going on, and she is consistently ignored, until an alien bursts out of her crewmate's chest and then eats everyone and Ripley is proven to be right and also the only survivor. (And it turns out that the science officer consistently overriding her protests was an android sent by the company that contracted them, and said android was given orders to bring the alien back so the company could study it and do weapons development with it, try not to let the crew find out about it, and kill them if he had to in order to do so!)

Ripley's paranoia and mistrust of the situation was correct, because Alien is a space horror and the theme is in space no one can hear you scream (also corporations consider you expendable).

Conversely, in All Systems Red, we have a damaged and almost-combat-overridden Murderbot being brought back into the PreservationAux hab medical bay after being attacked by other SecUnits. Gurathin becomes the one person protesting this isn't safe, we don't know what's going on, he doesn't want to let Murderbot out because it's hacked and probably sabotaging them for the company contracted their security and sent it with them. Gurathin thinks he is the Ellen Ripley here! He is trying to warn his teammates not to make a dangerous mistake that will get everyone killed!

However, All Systems Red is a very different story than Alien, and Murderbot is neither a traitor on behalf of the company to sabotage them and steal alien remnants for weapons development, nor a threat to the humans - it's a friend, it's a good person, and it wants to help them against both companies willing to screw them over. Trusting it and helping it is the right thing to do and is what saves their lives. Gurathin is proven to be wrong.

If everyone on the Nostromo crew had listened to Ellen Ripley, they would still be alive (except Kane. RIP Kane), because this is a horror story about being isolated and hunted and going up against this horrifying thing that wants to kill and eat you and just keeps getting stronger. If everyone on the PreservationAux team listened to Gurathin, they would all be dead, because this is a story about friendship and teamwork and trust and overcoming trauma and accepting the personhood of someone very different from you.

Same responses. Different context. And so very different moral conclusions.

Warren Kepler was about how the brash violent over-confident approach to things you don't understand is wrong, and that openness and developing that understanding between people is what's important; Chel was about the tragedy of trust destroying a Black woman who wanted so much to believe in a world that could be kind and beautiful. Ripley was about a woman whose expertise and safety warnings were ignored and brushed aside and everyone who did so died because of it; Gurathin was about how even justified fear shouldn't mean you make someone else a scapegoat and mistrust them because they seem scary.

Sometimes you're in the wrong genre because you need to be, because the author is trying to show how not to react to the situation they set up in order to build the mood and the theme they're trying to convey.

#Wolf 359 #Janus Descending #Alien #The Murderbot Diaries #Murderbot #meta #my meta #it's about what the author is saying about the nature of the world and how to respond to it

[vavandeveresfan]

Jenny Watson: "We can do it, so let's do it." Jenny outlines her plan for a female-only, lesbian space.

For my lesbian, bisexual women, and radfem Followers. Via Graham Linehan's Substack.

For many decades, London was considered the global capital for lesbian nightlife. But you’d never know it if you visited the UK today. It’s not for a lack of British lesbian culture: I’m a lesbian, I’m involved in our country’s lesbian social scene, and I can assure you, it’s alive and well. What we lack at the moment are our own dedicated spaces. I think the UK needs once more to have lesbian-run, female-only community spaces. 

I’ve got an idea about how to make one such space a reality. And I believe I'm in a position to make it happen.

Over the past seven years, I've had the privilege of organising a range of lesbian social events in London. Throughout this time, I've made many connections in our community, gained an increasing understanding of our needs, and created social spaces that I hope go some way to meeting them. 

And in those seven years working to coordinate part of the the UK’s lesbian social scene, I’ve come to see how badly we need a dedicated, strictly female-only event space — now more than ever. 

Men have been encroaching on the lesbian community, and the problem is only getting worse. There’s been a sense of inevitability, that this is just something we have to learn to live with.

But I’ve had it.

In June, I skipped London’s official Pride festivities and instead visited an alternative, independent event at the Hampstead Ponds. It was a female-only picnic. Hundreds of women of all ages were gathered, from their teens to their eighties. And the sublime joy that I felt that day led me to a eureka moment:

We need this. We deserve this. This is our right. As lesbians and bisexual women, we have a right to social spaces that are entirely our own.

So, earlier this year, I decided to implement a women-only policy at my events. Although this sparked controversy, we ultimately received recognition from the UK’s largest pub operator that it is legitimate to hold women-only lesbian events - a real victory!

And then it suddenly dawned on me: we need more and not only do we need this, I can do this. I feel I have a good sense of the UK market for lesbian social events. So I crunched some numbers and developed a business proposal. I gauged interest and studied feasibility. And I’m excited to tell you: I believe this can work.

My plan involves establishing a private members’ club and securing a prime physical space in London. By day, this space will operate as a versatile hybrid workspace, becoming a venue hosting various social events in the evenings and weekends. Alongside these, we'll provide online events, and collaborate with service providers for health and wellness advice, fitness guidance, group trips, and more. Revenue will come from the events, partnerships, as well as from membership dues.

To the lesbian and bisexual women reading this: you’re welcome to get in touch with me if you’d like to learn more. There's an opportunity to invest if you’re interested, too. I’ve got a pitch deck I would be happy to show you and a fully fleshed-out, 50-page business plan. And I’m happy to report that there are already investors who have given the thumbs up. 

Following my announcement and inspired by the community's heartwarming response, I decided to introduce an early-bird membership programme. This includes a personalised QR-coded membership card for exclusive updates and access to a members’ discussion space. Joining early also signifies your part in accelerating our community's launch. 

Which brings me to another issue, and it’s a big part of the reason I’m writing this now: online critics. There’s a small but vocal group of people online who’ve been saying some pretty nasty and completely unfounded things about me. This group of people have taken to personal insults, and accusations that I’m a fraudster and a grifter.

I’m not entirely surprised to encounter pushback, but at the same time, the level of vitriol has been eye-opening.

But I try to put it in a bigger context: Lesbians have faced so much abuse, and for so long we’ve had to settle for having social spaces conditionally, on terms set by men. There’s a climate of distrust and fear looming over the lesbian community as a result. So much so that today the idea of even having one single space fully dedicated to lesbian and bisexual women seems so radical, some people’s initial reaction is that there’s got to be a catch.

I completely understand that a good dose of scrutiny, of tempering optimism with some degree of caution, is reasonable. It’s healthy. And it’s entirely welcome.

But personal insults and unfounded accusations are not. I know that emotions are running high, and we as a community are feeling beleaguered right now. But that’s no excuse to target my Irishness in personal attacks, for example. Or to target my business supporters with lies about me.

I'm not here to push or persuade anyone who doesn't feel the spark for this project. However, for those who do, our project investors' safety and security are crucial — capital funds are securely placed in escrow and I've teamed up with a business consultant who's right here supporting us until opening day. We’ve put together a solid business plan.

If anything, the tenor of some of the criticism I’ve faced only hardens my resolve: it just highlights how badly women need a space to unite us, to heal us in this difficult time.

It’s been upsetting to endure the smear campaign that a small online group has thrown at me… but my mind keeps going back to that Edenic afternoon at the Hampstead Ponds, where hundreds of women were gathered in serenity and harmony.

This will heal us. This will unite us. And it will make us all stronger. Lesbian strength comes through unity.

There are various ways you can help, but the most crucial one is spreading the word - our message is the most important part of this project. 

Other than that, as I mentioned earlier, if you are a lesbian/bi woman, there is the option to join as an early-bird member (however, this is not compulsory; you can wait until our opening). Additionally, there's the opportunity for investment or donation. I've prepared a comprehensive 50-page business plan and pitch deck available for those who are interested.

For a deeper understanding of the project, feel free to visit our website or you can email me at [email protected] 

Any form of support you can offer is immensely appreciated as we work towards making this a reality.  

We can do this. So let’s do it!

#lesbians #women's spaces #lesbian spaces #Jenny Watson #Graham Linehan #Substack #bisexual women #UK #London

[mattshands]

comfortable (18+)

CW : smut , if you don’t like it don’t read simple as🫶🏻

love you all and have a great friday !

———

you and the triplets were setting the house up for madi’s surprise 19th birthday. there were banners hanging across the ceilings and balloons littering the floor , causing you to constantly trip on every third step.

with only the final few pieces needing to be added here and there , you head upstairs to start getting ready , doing your hair and slipping into your skintight dress. as you're adding the finishing touches to your makeup you hear the doorbell go , followed by a mass of voices.

you go downstairs to say hi to everyone and then go and get yourself a drink once you’ve made sure everyone’s comfortable. by the time you get into the living room with your concoction of whatever was on the kitchen island the party is in full swing.

you make your way towards madi to give her a tight hug and wish her a happy birthday , noticing she was wearing a tiara which was most likely given to her by an already tipsy nick. you end up talking about everything as it had been a while since you had seen her due to her different acting jobs and your busy schedule , getting drinks in between the conversation and downing them one after the other.

after having hogged the poor girl for the last 40 minutes you finally let her talk to someone else as you make your way towards the middle of the room to talk to one of your friends you had spotted , however bumping into matt instead.

you couldn't lie , he looked extremely good and you couldn't help but have thoughts of him doing things to you that were better left as thoughts. he was wearing his black button-up with the sleeves rolled up , his silver rings and chain complimenting his eye colour which was currently a dark blue due to the dark lighting in the room.

his hair was tousled from him constantly running his fingers through it , framing his face a little too well for your liking.

"y/n?"

you snapped out of your daze and looked up , seeing him smirking at you with a glint in his eye.

"sorry , what did you say?" you asked him , your doe eyes meeting his gaze.

"i was asking if you wanted to get another drink and then go sit down." he explained. you nodded , shaking any thoughts you had of him away and going with him to the kitchen , waiting for him while he grabbed two cans of whatever was on the counter and handing one to you.

matt made his way back into the living room , grabbing a hold of your hand so as not to lose you in the crowd while following behind. he went over to the sofa and took the last space that was next to nate , leaving you standing awkwardly unsure on what to do. he patted his lap indicating you to sit on it and you more than happily obliged.

you perched yourself on the edge of his lap , sipping on your drink. you were shuffling around uncomfortably as his knees were digging into your ass and he’d had enough , grabbing you by your waist and moving you backwards until you were fully on top of his lap. you developed butterflies as you’d never been this close to him , and attempted to calm the feeling that was rising in your stomach.

while matt was talking to nate about new car video ideas , the alcohol you had consumed mixed with his large , soft hand tracing patterns on your thigh had caused you to start squirming around on his lap in an attempt to subside your slow growing need for him.

you continued to wriggle around , not realising the effect you had on matt until he took a sharp breath and gave your hips a vice like grip , stopping you from moving all together.

"stop it." he mumbled in your ear. if you weren't turned on before , you definitely were now. you were dripping from the simplest of actions and it wasn't fair.

deciding you were going to play the same game as him , you continued to shift back and forth against his lap , making sure to rub up against his growing bulge. the friction of you continually moving caused him to moan lowly and grab both of your thighs in order to stop you from twisting any further.

"you need to keep still." he hissed out. thank god nate had turned away and was talking to chris , otherwise this would've been a very awkward conversation for him to be listening into. with your tipsy state , you didn't even think of the consequences that would come with your answer. you were just thinking of how nice it would feel for his large hands helping you relieve the throbbing heat between your legs.

"or what matt?"

he abruptly stood and grabbed your hand , dragging you behind him through the large crowd of people gathering throughout the hallway and up the stairs into his room. he kicked the door shut and locked it , backing you up against the wood.

he pressed his lips against yours , finally closing the gap that was between you two. your hands went to the nape of his neck , tugging on his hair eliciting a low moan from him only turning you on even more. pulling back, the tension that was very present between you two was thick and loud , no matter that neither of you had said anything. the look in his eyes told you he wanted you as much as him.

one his hands wrapped around your waist while the other gripped onto your ass , leaving kisses and sharp bites along your neck and chest , every so often sucking to leave a deep purple hickey. he pulled back each time to admire his work before delving right back in to produce more mark on your delicate skin. you gave a whimper every time , your sounds of bliss driving him to continue until he had finally filled up the whole canvas that was your neck.

"look at you. i haven't even done anything and you're a mess. i'm going to fucking ruin you." he smirked. you scowled at him , ready to make a remark when he spun you around and pressed you up against the wall.

"i'm going to ensure you’ll be struggling to walk out of here." he was taunting you , knowing the exact effect it had on you; you could practically feel yourself dripping down your legs , and all he had done was kiss you.

he shoved your dress up, bunching it up by your waist and pulling your thong aside. you were frozen on the spot , anticipating as to what would happen next. you suddenly felt the tips of his fingers rub against your folds. you breathed out a moan as he began rubbing your clit , causing your knees to weaken and force you to rely on the wall for support. he chuckled at you , continuing his actions before dipping two of his fingers inside you , making sure you were stretched out for him.

it felt even better than you imagined. the many wet dreams you had had about him were nothing compared to this. matt’s long fingers reached deep inside you , his knuckles grazing against your clit every time he pumped in and out. your breathy moans filled the room , pushing him to go further with his actions. you were grateful the music was so loud and you were behind closed doors.

you felt your high approaching , however not being able to reach it as he slid his fingers out of you. you turned around to give him a dirty glare , instead witnessing him sucking on his fingers that had just been inside you , staring straight into your lust filled eyes with a smug grin playing on his lips. you blushed , watching him walk over to his drawer to grab a condom before unwrapping it and putting it on.

your eyes widened as you watched him pull his boxers down , his dick slapping against his happy trail. you'd never seen his cock before , but to say he was huge was an understatement. he was at least 8 inches , if not more. his words of him saying he'll make sure you struggle to walk made you believe they might just become a reality.

"you ready sweetheart?" he rasped out , the nickname making you clench in need. you nodded your head , unable to talk. he teased you a bit more , before finally easing into you , both of you groaning as he stretched you out.

"tell me , how bad do you want?" his voice ground out as he pulled out completely , tapping at your soaking wet pussy with his cock.

"i want it so bad matt. please." you begged , ready to do just about anything , already missed the feeling off him being inside you.

"if you say so." he smirked , pushing back in and stretching you out again eliciting a loud sob from you. you pressed your face into your arms to attempt and quiten your noises , but to no avail. his hand moved underneath you both and began rubbing your clit causing you to whine out loudly.

he continued his motion until your knees began to shake , and finally you moaned loudly as your eyes rolled back into your head. matt’s release came soon after , beating your tight walls as he came inside the condom , panting heavily.

he pulled out and took the condom off , tying the end and throwing it away. you were still clutching onto the wall , gasping for breath as the realisation of what just happened coming down to you.

you just fucked your best friend. and you didn't regret it one bit.

you slowly stood straight and turned , pulling down your dress and leaning on the wall continuing to pant.

"holy fuck." your hoarse voice sounded out across the room.

matt spun around and walked over. he hovered over you , looking down and admiring the art he had created in the past 30 minutes. he leant down and gently pressed his lips against yours , allowing you both to indulge in the moment. his tongue swiped across your bottom lip asking for entrance , however you declined , challenging him.

his hands released your waist and instead reached down and squeezed your ass , making you gasp in surprise allowing him access to the inside of your mouth. you continued until you pulled away for air , then looking up at him.

"wasn't even that good , i've had better." you grinned.

"shut up , i've made you shake once i'll do it again." he scoffed.

you rolled your eyes and let go so you could check yourself in the mirror making sure you didn't look completely fucked out , adjusting anything that had gone wrong during your 'session'.

you both exited his room , walking downstairs and into the kitchen to get yet more drinks before making your way back into the living room and sitting down in your previous positions. you turned in his lap so you were able to talk to him without having to constantly turn your neck around.

noticing your presence , nate turned away from chris now joined by nick to face you two , giving you both a dirty look. chris peered over his shoulder , saw the hickeys on your neck and managed to piece two and two together.

"did you two fuck upstairs?" he spluttered , a baffled look on his face.

you and matt look at each other before laughing and going back to talking , ignoring chris’ question completely.

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicholas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo fic #Spotify

[dykesynthezoid]

I really do think people who call Zoro repressed don’t understand him bc like!! It’s not that he’s actively trying to hold pieces of himself back, at least not more than any other person.

If he ever seems under-expressive it’s not coming from a need to hide his emotion. Like, I don’t think that’s the lesson he would have functionally learned in his childhood. Instead, he just learned that being expressive wasn’t effective. Kid Zoro is very emotional, but his guardians aren’t able to respond to this with much beyond impassivity. They don’t reward the behavior, but they’re not punishing him, either. Zoro simply learned that intense emotional expression wasn’t going to get his needs met. So he stopped doing it. Because that’s what kids do when they’re neglected in that way. They figure out that it’s ineffective and so they stop doing it.

But the result of that isn’t that Zoro is actively working to hide his emotions. It’s just that he doesn’t value them the way other people do. But he’s not necessarily ashamed of them, either. They just… exist. And he hasn’t necessarily developed the vocabulary needed to properly communicate those feelings, bc it was just never modeled for him. The flipside is that he has been given a bunch of tools to self-regulate and achieve greater emotional equanimity. And he uses those skills! Actively! All the time! Which is not something someone usually does when they’re repressed, bc repressed people usually aren’t even fully aware of or able to acknowledge they are having the emotion in question in the first place.

And I mean. Compare all that to Sanji. Who was actively (and severely) punished for certain forms of emotional expression. And then even when out of that situation, only ever had one or two modes of emotional expression effectively modeled for him. And so he grows up to think those are the only acceptable ways for him to express himself, and everything else must be restrained. That’s a classic model for repression. He, like… Flinches. It’s that sense of flinching away from certain feelings or expressions of self. Bc that tells you the behavior is rooted in fear, specifically, that it’s a nervous system trigger and not just that feeling of blank space. Zoro’s response to his own emotions seems eerily still, in contrast. Definitely not flinching.

#also I myself am Both of these at times! #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #zosan #one piece

[acciofanfics]

An Arrangement - Regulus Black (Part One)

Pairing: Regulus Black x Reader

Warnings: Arranged marriage.

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: So, this is a rewrite of a series that was started on this blog a little while ago. I’ve fallen down a Regulus Black rabbit hole so expect plenty of more content about him 😆

The Black Manor’s sitting room was colder than she’d imagined it to be. Only a few feet from her, the fireplace crackled, illuminating the small and otherwise mostly dark space. The curtains were drawn, as were most of the others in the area, keeping away any prying eyes. The rise of the Dark Lord had brought suspicion to many of the older, more renowned pure-blood families.

Despite the fire, she shivered, and tried to steady her breathing. She tried to focus on the hideous floral couch she was currently sitting on, surely picked out by the matriarch of the Black clan, but her eyes wandered to Regulus, who occupied the space next to her. His presence did little to ease the wave of pure dread threatening to overtake her at any moment, as it was a reminder of why she was there in the first place.

Walburga, as well as her own mother had gone to a more private area to discuss the business aspect of their arrangement, leaving her and Regulus alone. She couldn’t say that she fully understood the logic. She and Regulus were old enough to commit to an unbreakable vow, but apparently too young to be included in the conversation regarding such.

An old wooden piano played itself in the corner, surely enchanted in order to keep them from listening in on what their mothers were saying. It worked, for the most part, but every once in a while, she could hear a laugh escape from either Walburga or her mother. Strange… she didn’t know they were capable of such a thing.

“You look quite thrilled.” Regulus’ hushed voice cut through the nearly deafening quietness between the two of them. The statement, she assumed, was meant to be a harmless attempt at conversation, but she couldn’t help but find it to be tone-deaf given the circumstances. How could she be? She hadn’t even been asked if she was content with essentially signing the rest of her life over to the Black family. In fact, any protest she made was met with a dismissive wave of the hand. After all, she should be grateful.it was every young witch’s dream to marry a wealthy (her mother was sure to emphasize that part) pure-blood wizard after finishing school; especially given the uncertain, trying times that they were living in. She’d just made it easier for her, given her supposed apathy towards developing her love life.

“And I suppose you are?” She raised an eyebrow. Her tone had come off a bit harsher than she’d intended, but she felt as though at least a little slack was deserved on her part.

“Sure.” He offered a charming smile, making her guilt towards the previous interaction swell. “I mean, why wouldn’t I be? I’ll get to be married to a woman that looks like you with little to no effort. Not to mention, there’s the added bonus that our children will be gorgeous.” She cringed at the mention of children, though she supposed that would be expected of her. She couldn’t decide whether she found his nonchalance to be infuriating or flattering in a way. At least she could take solace in that he didn’t find the idea of marrying her to be repulsive, though she couldn’t say the same for herself. It wasn’t anything against Regulus. She found him to be quite handsome, actually. She probably would’ve fawned over the idea of being so close to him if it had been under different circumstances, but that didn’t mean that she loved him. The issue came up with the fact that she didn’t know him. Their parents had been close, but that dynamic didn’t extend to their children. She wasn’t even sure if she’d had a full conversation with him until now.

“I suppose in a way, it would be easier.” She let out a soft, unconvincing chuckle. Whether he meant the words of flattery or not, she would never know, but it did help to lighten the mood just a little bit.

“Exactly. There shouldn’t be any in-law strife to worry about,” Regulus added.

“Definitely not. They know each other better than we do,” (Y/N) let out a scoff laced with annoyance.

“Well, I suppose we’ll have plenty of time to remedy that after today.”

“Yeah, our whole lives.” She averted her eyes from the boy.

“Oh, come on. I can’t be that bad, can I?” Regulus feigned offense, though when she glanced back over to him, she couldn’t help but notice a glint in his green eyes that suggested that perhaps he did feel somewhat slighted by the remark.

“No, not at all. You seem perfectly pleasant, actually. It’s just when I envisioned getting married, I just imagined it would be to someone I’d chosen for myself.” The elaboration seemed to momentarily appease the boy, though it wasn’t long before he spoke again.

“I always imagined that this was how I’d meet my future wife.” He shrugged, reclining back onto the sofa. “I suppose that’s why I never spent a lot of time dwelling on courting anyone. Although, I can say that I’m happy that it’s to you and not to some of the others that Mother suggested.” He shuddered.

“Well, I appreciate that, I think.” She furrowed her brow, trying to decipher whether it was meant to be a compliment. Regulus let out a soft laugh at her response, running his hand through the mess of black curls on his head.

“You’re quite cute when you’re confused, you know.” She pouted at the remark.

“You’d find me adorable in potions class, then.”

“Regulus, darling, bring (Y/N) into the dining room, we’re ready for the two of you.” Walburga’s voice turned her blood to ice. She’d almost been distracted from the reason that she was here in the first place, though she wasn’t sure how.

Regulus stood and her soon-to-be husband extended his hand to escort her. “Ready?” He seemed perfectly content with what was happening, she didn’t understand it. Even if he had envisioned this would be how his wedding day would go, wasn’t he the least bit worried? An unbreakable vow was a serious commitment; it was–well–unbreakable.

“As I’ll ever be, I suppose,” she murmured, accepting his hand. He guided her to the dining room and she couldn’t help but notice that his hands were softer than she’d imagined, and that she didn’t not enjoy the feeling of her hand in his. Even so, she wasn’t sure that they were at the point that marriage should be a consideration, but if it had to be anyone, she was more at ease with it being him.

As soon as they entered the room, it felt as though all of the air had been turned to molasses, determined to suffocate her. It was difficult to even draw a breath without it feeling as though her heart would explode from the pressure.

Their house elf, Kreacher, was in the corner, scrubbing the floor, though she was sure that he was focused more on the events about to unfold.

“Poor girl looks terrified.” Mrs. Black smiled, though the sentiment was laced with a twinge of annoyance, she noticed.

(Y/N) spoke quickly, to avoid any offense being taken by the older woman. “I’m sorry, I was just wondering if it hurt, that’s all.”

Walburga’s demeanor changed almost instantaneously. A relieved chuckle escaped from both her and her mother. As long as her lack of enthusiasm had nothing to do with Regulus, they weren’t concerned. She wasn’t surprised. Her own feelings hadn’t been a question throughout the whole ordeal, why would they be now?

She wished that she weren’t such a good daughter. Otherwise, she would’ve run away half an hour ago when they’d left her and Regulus. It meant a lot to her parents, though, and despite the fact that they didn’t care what she felt, she did care about their thoughts and feelings.

“No more than a sting,” Walburga explained, a grin on her face. She couldn’t tell if it was comforting or unsettling. The Blacks had a way of charming those around them, making it hard to determine whether their words were sincere.

Her eyes flitted to Regulus who wore the same unbothered expression that he’d had all morning. She laced her fingers with his once more and tried to ease the pounding of her heart. Every fiber of her being wanted to bolt, but she remained frozen in place as Walburga readied her wand, focusing on their intertwined hands.

“Okay, Regulus. Just like I told you, okay?”

“(Y/N), do you vow to become my wife after completing our studies, with the intention of starting a family and to love no other.” Regulus spoke confidently, as though it had been rehearsed, though she supposed it probably had. As he’d said earlier, this was always how he’d expected meeting his wife.

He shot her a small, rather sweet smile. His eyes never left hers as she spoke her own words of commitment. “Yes, provided you do the same.” The words felt like poison as they exited her lips. Regulus didn’t seem to notice her apprehension, or maybe he just didn’t care. That seemed to be a common occurrence lately.

“Of course.”

Walburga mumbled the spell under her breath and three streams of light emerged from the tip of her wand and wrapped around their conjoined hands. Walburga had been telling the truth, there was only a slight sting, no worse than the feeling of one of your limbs waking up after being asleep for a period. The sting didn’t linger for too long, but the nagging feeling of dread still hadn’t gone away.

That was it. There was no lasting indication of their now permanent bond, but she wasn’t sure if she would ever feel at ease again. She felt tears prick at her eyes, but she did her best to will them away. She couldn’t cry now. It was already done. The only thing crying would accomplish was further annoying Walburga and her mother.

“Perfect!” Walburga cheered, enveloping both her and Regulus into a hug. “Now, we must celebrate!”

She didn’t feel like celebrating. In fact, she didn’t feel much of anything. Her mother patted her shoulder and placed a kiss on her temple. “I’m so proud of you.”

She couldn’t figure out why that was. She hadn’t done or contributed anything to the pairing. It was all her mother and Walburga’s doing. Perhaps, Regulus was involved somehow as well, but he hadn’t given any indication that he had any more knowledge than she did.

“Kreacher, prepare the table and fetch the men,” Walburga ordered. The house elf obliged, placing the utensils and dishes at each seat before heading off to find Orion and her father. Why they hadn’t been present for the actual ceremony, she didn’t know. They were probably discussing matters of higher importance regarding the current political climate.

It didn’t matter to her either way. It was uncomfortable enough with those who were present, she didn’t mind not having extra eyes watching her being shackled to the Black clan.

Kreacher was back within moments, the two men in tow.

“So it’s done then?” Orion’s voice boomed, though there was no interest in the statement. This was clearly a match set up by their mothers because as it seemed, there was little to no concern from their fathers.

“Yes, it’s done.” Walburga said cheerily as they all took their seats.

“Wonderful,” her father clapped his hands. “Isn’t this exciting?” He looked to her. She nodded with a fake smile, though he didn’t notice.

“Are you alright?” Regulus’ breath was hot against her ear. She hadn’t even noticed that he was sitting next to her.

“Yeah, fine.” She didn’t mean to be blunt, but her brain couldn’t come up with anything more. “Just a bit overwhelmed is all.”

“My mother does tend to have that effect on most people.” Walburga was too busy chatting with her parents over the food that she didn’t notice Regulus’ remark. (Y/N) tried to hide the smile forming, but it was quite difficult given that she’d been thinking the same thing.

She was quiet for the rest of the dinner, merely pushing the food around her plate so as not to offend the chef (whoever that may be) by thinking that she hadn’t eaten anything. Regulus was far more outgoing, chatting with her parents about whatever topic they had landed on. She thought that they might like him more than her honestly.

She couldn’t say that she felt better about the situation once the dinner was finally over. In fact, she possibly felt worse. She had nothing against the Blacks, or Regulus, but she felt trapped. Every move she made henceforth would not only be monitored by her own parents, but by her in-laws and fiancee as well. The only part that made her feel slightly better was that she wouldn’t have to face Regulus again until they were at Hogwarts, so she had a couple of weeks to try and come to terms with her new life.

#harry potter imagine #fanfics #fanfiction #harry potter #harry potter marauders #regulus x reader #regulus black x y/n #regulus black imagine #regulus black x reader #regulus black

[discluded]

Build Jakapan, Daemi's Poi, and other individuals stepping forward

I like my peace, but this situation is very serious and deserves to be documented clearly for the international/English-speaking fanbase, which was my original goal of archivism on Tumblr. Some of the posts have already been deleted and others will be washed away with the sands of Twitter time.

Please do not talk about this in terms of "drama" or "tea" because that does a disservice to the victims and people here on Tumblr who may have lived through these experiences watching you treat their trauma like nonsense.

I have no stake in this and do not claim to know the full truth. However, rather than seeing everyone vague about what's happening, I want to provide an account of what people on Twitter are seeing above the noise. I will try to keep this post updated with important developments when appropriate.

My only ask is please don't comment to my inbox about this post. I understand your anger and hurt, but I need to take care of my own well-being. Make a dummy account if you want to talk about it; I will not censor the comments section of post as long as you are reasonable and not victim-blaming.

Finally, please be kind to each other, including Pond (as long as he is doing the right thing) and [Jan 23 update: lmfao fuck Pond] the other actors in BOC given that Poi specifically said she hid this from the cast, and also especially fans who loved Build and were blindsided. There is no "deserved" to be upset, people who invest their love and free time into something are allowed to be hurt... the only thing that matters about a person's integrity is how they choose to act with this information.

tw: domestic violence, intimate partner violence, abuse, threats, photos of bruises, rape, miscarriage

On approximately Jan 19 2022, right after the BOC line-up announcement), Daemi announced they would be breaking up as a writing duo, which prompted fans to speculate about the future of Kinnporsche season 2. Daemi as a writing duo is made up of two members: Yok and Poi.

In the next day or so, Poi insinuated that Build had stolen the idea for 4 Minutes from her and given it to Sammon, who then helped cut her [Poi] out of involvement in the new series. Build responded to this by publicly crying and issuing a statement, going above BOC's management. Pond was with Mile in Pairis at the time/flying home and responded to Instagram comments that they would investigate fully before issuing a statement.

Approximately the next day, on Jan 22 2022 local time, Poi came out with a statement and chat logs with proof that she used to be in a relationship with Build, and he had cheated on her, financially manipulated her, physically abused her, and threatened to kill her.

The original translator is a ManUtd fan and had no involvement in the fandom but took the time to do the translation since it was blowing up on Thai twitter and known fandom translators were not doing them. They then deleted those tweets after being harassed by Build's fans, but has continued to tweet about the situation.

(please click on the image for the full translation of the chat, I stacked them to save space)

Here is an additional Thai summary of Poi's claims and an english translation of that.

Some people noted that in the original IGS where Poi references this abuse on approximately Jan 19, she used stock images from Pinterest. Those claims included that she had a miscarriage due to the fact he had hit her so hard. Poi again confirmed that she had a miscarriage and noted she had hospital documents to back up her claim. She also addressed the comment that she used stock images due to the fact that Instagram is a visual social media.

Poi also confirmed that the legal process was already started. Given her history with the BOC cast, she might have also felt the need to get the story out of accusations of her lying and starting "drama" about the situation by posting her chat logs and photos.

Subsequently, Build shared messages that Poi had sent him regarding a situation with a sponsor in an attempt to make her look like a "crazy" woman, but incriminated himself and deactivated on Jan 22 2022 (possibly temporarily).

During this time, additional people came forward about being a victim of Build. One Thai fan came forward about knowing another of Build's former girlfriends, who was the victim of gang rape. However, the OP is getting permission from this individual to tell the story first and so the story may not be released to the public. Update Feb 10: Most likely false. (leaving text here for honesty that this rumor existed and debunked)

Another one of Build's ex-girlfriends, who was previously silenced and shamed by his fans, confirmed again that she was physically assaulted by Build 8 years ago.

I will not add the tweets with evidence of Build cheating on Poi/involvement with other women while supposedly dating one of them as while cheating on a partner is bad, it is a personal indiscretion and not a crime unlike the situations highlighted above.

As for the fact that both authors in Daemi sexually harassed other actors in KPTS, I am not excusing those actions. People, notably WOMEN, should not have to be perfect victims to be believed. You don't have to like Poi or approve of her past actions to think she does not deserve to be abused.

Additionally, if you believe that Poi's past actions are indicative of her character, I want to clarify why people were upset with him in summer 2022 since that was not documented on Tumblr either. Having bad opinions online is not a crime, but they do show a pattern of behavior from him from attitudes to actions. Build's comments/attitudes from that situation are consistent with his abuser behavior that is documented above. (1) (2) (3) (4)

Any additional documentation from past victims will be a link to the reblog since I will run out of image space on Tumblr. I will not document things like BOC suspending Build for the time being since those are widely seen and have an English translation.

Final update update as of Feb 10, 2023: Updated on the false allegations about rape and this being debunked since it's important. Please do not ask me for updates about him; I don't care about him, he makes me miserable, people whose careers I do care about don't have to deal with him anymore. Please do not make me responsible for your mental health.

Jan 28, 2023: Build has left BOC. At this point, there's nothing else I can provide as context in English that will change people's minds so let's respect that this will be processed in a court like it should have been in the first place. Take care of yourselves friends.

Final notes: Genuinely fuck Pond.

Jan 25 2023: link to the latest post with evidence from Poi and Mynk

Jan 23 2023: Kind anonymous provided IDs which have been added. Clarified position on Pond, with link to latest comment. I have more posts with translations from Thai twitter and will update another day.

Please take care of yourselves and your mental health. 🙏

#build jakapan #build jakapan puttha #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kpts #kinnporsche cast #tw domestic violence #tw dv #tw abuse #tw rape #tw miscarriage #tw bruises #tw threats #thank you to anon for IDs #be on cloud

[seriesxwriting]

Leaving me wanting more

Paring- Dean Winchester

Series- supernatural

Warnings- lotta fighting, course it’s the supernatural- that means guns too and ghosts. Kissing, erm might be some swearing it is me we’re talking about.

Summary- you’re introduced to the famous Winchester brothers by their dad on a hunt. Where you connect with Dean quite a lot more than you thought you would. Developing feelings fast, thanks to his dad’s plan all along.

No real timeline in this.

Requests are open my lovelies, any and all characters <3

John drove his car into the run down flat car park and parked it in once of the spaces. “I’m sure this case won’t be easy” he told his sons. “Since when do me and Sammy like easy” Dean chuckled flashing his teeth and cocking his gun.

I recognised the famous car straight away and eyed it up from my car parked in the shadows. I couldn’t really see anyone’s faces so it was lucky I knew the car. My gun was slid into my belt behind my back and I pulled my top down covering it before opening my door and stepping out. Confidently, I walked towards the car in the hope they’d get out and I wouldn’t be standing there awkwardly. I was right, they did. John first of course. I knew he was bringing his two sons but I’d never met them before.

Id heard endless story’s about the famous Winchester brothers who had cheated death multiple times and killed hundreds of demons and the rest of the ugly’s in our world. “Hi darling, are you okay” John came over to hug me. I smiled embracing him back “of course, I always get excited when you call John”. “dad who’s this?” One of them asked as the two brothers stepped out of the car apprehensively. 

He turned to his two sons with a beam “this is y/n, she’s the only daughter of one of my dear friends who passed, I thought I’d call in some back up for this hunt”. “You’re a hunter?” The one with shorter hair raised his eyebrow looking me up and down. “Yeah, do I not fit the description?” I smirked putting my hand on my hip. “Not particularly- never met a hunter that looks like- you” he smirked, his face a tad more comfortable now. “Dean- that’s Sammy” he introduced himself.

I nodded at him “nice to meet you, though I feel like I already do- I’ve heard a lot of stories” “so you’re a fan?” He walked over to me leaning on the car slightly. “I’d use the word impressed, rather than fan” I folded my arms trying to keep his ego in tact. He was even better looking closer up, his eyes were a gorgeous green colour and his smile lit up the dark night that surrounded us. “Enough chitter, we have a case at hand” John nodded towards the block of flats.

Sitting here waiting I’d already analysed every part of the bock. They were clearly run down, needed more than just a lick of paint. They needed to be knocked down. But it was still someone’s home and still my job to save it. We walked inside and went towards the lift. “It’s out of order, we’ll have to use the stairs” Sam stated pointing behind him. So we turned back around and went up the stairs. “What floor is it?” Dean asked John who was at the front of the group and first up the stairs.

“Thirteen” he answered with a smile. “Thirteen! You want me to walk up thirteen staircases?” “Technically there’s two for each floor- so it’s actually twenty six” Sam joked from the back of the group. “I’m sure you’ve faced worst Dean” I giggled turning to look at him. “I’d rather face twenty six demons! with no weapons, than climb this many stairs” he wined as we kept walking. “Don’t wish too hard- we have no clue what we’re walking into here” John warned him.

When we eventually got to the top floor (after Dean had been moaning the whole time and prolonged us) we headed for the door number given to John. He knocked three times before a woman opened the door. We could only see one eye, the chain restricted the door opening fully. “Oh good- I thought you were her again” she breathed closing the door and reopening it with no chain. She was a short woman with a brown bob and big blue eyes. Her lips were thin but were smothered in red lipstick.

Though she was slightly shaking when standing in front of us. “Hi- my names y/n- this is John we spoke to you on the phone” I smiled small just to let her know we were friendly, while I also looked around the apartment. “I’m Vanessa, Come in, come in- thank you for coming” she waved her hand indicating for us to come in, showing her chipped, bitten nails. However what fascinated me more was the rings she had on her finger. One of them looked like it could have been made out of bone, it had an amazing purple crystal on it that almost appeared to be glowing. “This is your house?” Dean questioned looking around. It wasn’t the tidiest, in fact there were bin bags everywhere and bare shelves. It looked like she was getting ready to move out.

“No- no no this was my mothers house, come- shall we sit in the living room I will explain the story” she closed the door and then waddled past us with her finger in her mouth. Me and Dean looked at each other, I could tell he was just as sceptical as I was. John was first in the living room of course, he was sat down opposite her. Dean sat next to his dad and I sat next to Dean leaving Sammy to sit next to the woman. It was probably for the best, I’d heard he was the most sympathetic of the Winchester men.

“So this was your mother’s house? And you don’t live here?” Dean raised an eyebrow. “No I live in England- I flew here for a few weeks to clean out my mums flat because- she passed you see” she bit her lip. But it wasn’t a sad look that flooded her face it was a guilty look. I picked up on this instantly. “You didn’t speak much huh?” I tilted my head, the two brothers looked at me with a confused expression but their attention was soon moved back onto Vanessa. “No we didn’t, she hated me for moving to England- she felt like I was leaving her and- I did- we lost contact, it was my fault but my now husband he didn’t want to move to America so I had no choice” she shrugged clearly tearing up.

“So- why have you called us here Vanessa” Sammy said in a soft voice. “Well you see, when I came here- things started to go wrong, I would pack things into bags and then they would be all put back when Id turn back around” she explained to us. “There’s messages on the mirror when I shower telling me to get out of the house- objects flying across the room trying to hit me- I haven’t been able to get anything done” she shook her head and her bottom lip began trembling.

“Well I think we know what the problem is here” I looked at John who nodded at me. “I just want to pack up so I can sell this place and move on with…” in that moment a loud bang came from the corridor cutting Vanessa off. “Oh not again!” She whimpered into her hands. Me and Dean jumped up but when i opened the door a lady with long grey hair and a long white nighty ran towards me screaming and pushing me backwards. I went flying into Dean who practically caught me. I had to reset quickly because she was still coming.

“ANYONE HAVE SALT?” I shouted dodging her attacks before she disappeared. Vanessa at this point was screaming, John and Sam had jumped up. “Only in the car” John whispered feeling pretty vulnerable in the open like this. We all did. “I have some! In the kitchen” Vanessa got up to go and get it but as soon as she stood, an ornament from the fire place was thrown directly at her. She ducked moaning out in distress and it smashed against the wall. I eyed the door and then made a run for it to the kitchen. “Y/n!” Dean shouted after me but as he ran to the door it swung, slamming shut.

“Y/n!” He shouted pulling the door, however it didn’t budge. I was busy anyway, I ran to the kitchen past all the stuff the ghost had broken in the hallway. She was standing in the kitchen with her head on her shoulder smiling. “You need to leave this place!” I hissed at her slamming my eyebrows down. She raced towards me but I dodge her, she quickly turned and smacked me into the table and chairs. They broke underneath me and so I hit the wall. But the ghost was still there. I got up as fast as I could eyeing the salt in the cupboard that was open.

However, when I reached for it everything in the cupboard flew out at me. I squealed being attacked by a bag of pasta and a tin of carrots, before a package of oats hit me on the side of my face knocking me to the ground. The ghost made a run for me again but I reached for the salt, opened the bottle and chucked it at her. She let out a scream before she disappeared momentarily. I heard the front room door opening before thundering footsteps in the hall way. “Are you okay?” Dean blinked rushing over to help me up. He took my hand and then my hip and I looked up at him when I stood.

Our bodies were basically touching and his arm was around my waist. His eyes drew me in so much I didn’t know what to say. “Y/n?!” John rushed, so he could get an answer from me. I nodded pulling away from Dean but patting him on the chest. “Yeah I’m fine thank you” I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear nervously. I got her with the salt. Sam and Vanessa walked in looking at the mess on the floor. “My goodness- my mother is the one trying to hurt me” she winced again covering her mouth with shock. “In my opinion Vanessa- your mum doesn’t want you to move her stuff out” I told her softly.

“And as you didn’t have a great relationship I’m guessing she doesn’t want you taking her stuff or even being in her house” “but she left it to me” she shook her head confused about the situation. “Y/n is right, she doesn’t want you here” John validated, giving me a nod. “Perhaps she couldn’t change her will- but she definitely wants you gone” Dean nodded to Vanessa. “So what do we do?” She trembled looking to John for an answer. “Well first we need…” Sam started talking but his father cut him off. “Y/n, show us how it’s done” John raised his eyebrows at me.

Any case I went on with him he’d give me more and more responsibilities, but never full control. My smiled turned into a grin and I threw him a knowing look. “Where was your mother buried Vanessa?” I turned to her, “um- just across town in the Catholic Church graveyard” “and her name?” I raised an eyebrow. “Dorthy gale- how ever will that help us?” “We need to burn her body, that will get rid of her once and for all” I explained feeling pretty confident in what I was saying. I was a pretty good hunter but it was a natural thing rather than a learning thing.

I could fight but the information was always harder for me to attain. John helped me quite a lot and of course my other hunter friends. But I still studied quite a lot on my own. “We should split up- two of us will go and burn the bones and two of us will stay here incase Dorthy comes back” I looked to John for validation and he smiled eying his son next to me. “You and Dean should go to the graveyard- me and Sam will stay here” he nodded at Dean who looked like he was taking this very seriously.

“Here” I passed the bottle of salt to Sam. “You can make a circle in the front room” “yeah, and we will look for any iron” he nodded to his dad who liked the plan. We all started moving to go to our stations but as me and Dean went to leave John called out his name. “You look after her okay” he smacked his son on the back. “She’s my top priority” he nodded once. “She is” he agreed before walking off to the living room. Dean put a hand on my back as we exited the front door, to gently move me.

“Any idea why my dad paired us up?” He raised an eyebrow at me with a smirk. “Maybe he thought you needed my protection” I shrugged laughing “or maybe he’s bored of you so he chose a different pair” “oi” I laughed hitting him on the chest as we descended the stairs. He was a lot more chatty and a lot less winey on the way down. “So you’re dad? What was his name?” “Oh I didn’t know my dad- he left before I was born” I smiled innocently, not really caring because I’d never known anything different. “So- my dad and your mum were friends”.

“Uh huh, they met on a case- she was almost a victim of a vampire attack but he saved her and taught her what’s really out there” I explained as we got into deans car. “So she became a hunter?” “No- she kept her job as a lawyer but she knew- so she was prepared- she taught me everything John taught her I do think she secretly went on a few hunts behind my back but nothing I remember” I shrugged thinking about her. “Do you mind me asking how she passed?” He looked across to me sadly. “No- it was a demon, it came for her hunter friend and she was collateral damage I suppose- I came home from a friends house to my front door being open and the scene in the dining room”.

“I noticed it wasn’t human so I called some of her other hunter friends and- one of them must have told John because he came- he was really good to me” I explained thinking back to the incident. A smiled crossed my face because if I didn’t think about the good, I’d cry about the bad. “I’m sorry” Dean rubbed my thigh as he drove. I put my hand on his and traced it with my thumb. “You don’t have to be, I’ll see her again one day, I have the memories of her and I fight for her everyday- eradicating as many of these things as I can to avenge her”.

“You’re brave- I like your attitude” he told me with a smile as we parked in the church. “Well now you know my story” I shrugged looking across at him. “She’d be proud of you” he nodded seriously at me, I could tell it had reminded him of his own mother. “Mary would be proud of you too Dean” I beamed before getting out the car. Dean grabbed two shovels from his boot of tricks and we headed to find her grave. We said whoever’s first gets to drop the lighter but Dean found it first and made sure I knew about it. He just made me laugh the whole time. Maybe I was starting to feel a little something for him.

It didn’t take us very long to dig it up, he dropped the lighter of course but he let me pour the petrol. And we stood there for a few seconds, just watching the flames eat her bones. “Id hate to be this vengeful when I pass” I whispered to him. “You won’t be” he shook his head rubbing my back as I stared into the pit of hell. “Would you burn my bones for me Dean- if I did” I put my pinky finger out to him. He looked at it chuckling before pinky promising me. “You have to do the same for me though” “it’s a pact” I nodded with a big smile looking into his eyes again.

Even though it was dark they still shone through the shadows at me. We were still holding our pinky’s together as we stared at each other. His other hand came up to my face and he brushed my cheek softly. I moved my head forward and with that I saw a panic spread in his eyes. “I should- call my dad- tell him it’s done” Dean nodded trying to find his phone in a fit. “Yeah- you should do that uh huh” I nodded awkwardly putting my hair behind my ear. I was glad it was dark because my face had probably turned very red by now.

Dean let John know what we had done and we made our way back to the car in silence. But all I could think about was that moment between us. The way he looked when the moonlight shone on the side of his gorgeous face. The silence between us wasn’t awkward it was just, sad. Something was telling me we both wanted it to be a moment but something we couldn’t control was stopping us. Deans phone rang distracting my thought process. “Dad?” He answered confused about why he was ringing. “What are you talking about? We just burnt the bones?” Dean frowned, knitting his eyebrows together.

“I don’t know- we’ll be back in a second” he ended the phone call and put the gas on harder. “Dean?” I questioned “she’s not dead” he answered gritting his teeth together. “What- how can’t she be dead I don’t…” I trailed off thinking. “I don’t know- we got all the bones” dean tutted getting pissed off by the situation. “No- we didn’t” I shook my head as we drove into the apartment blocks again. I flung open the door and he followed. “Grab the salt gun” “y/n! What are you talking about?” Dean questioned as he threw open his boot. “Vanessa’s ring- it’s made of bone I’m sure it is”.

“Her ring?” Dean repulsed as he closed his boot and ran towards the entrance doors. “I saw it when we came in- that has to be why dorthy is still there” I shook my head positive in what I was saying. I was always a very observant hunter. There wasn’t any time to talk this trip up the stairs. We ran as fast as we could. I pounded on the front door but it wasn’t opened by anyone when it creaked ajar. The apartment was silent, I looked to Dean apprehensively before a loud bang came from the bedroom. “Sammy!” Dean yelled in search for his brother, running past me. “Bedroom!” Sam called before another bang came.

Vanessa was there and John too being cornered by this thing. “There was no iron” Sammy called out. Dean shot Dorothy instantly with the salt gun and she vanished. “Vanessa” I called out “your ring, the purple one- what’s it made out of” “uh- uh it’s my mother’s finger bone- I wanted to keep her close all the time so I had this made just after her burial” she bit her lip spinning it on her finger. “So we did miss a bone” John realised peering at the ring. “I take it you need to burn this” she slid it off clutching it to her heart. “Goodbye mum” she whispered before plodding over to me.

Dean took his lighter out but as he did I was pushed out into the hall way and I dropped the ring. Dorthy was back. I scrambled up while Dean tried shooting her again. It had rolled into the kitchen and I leaped to clutch it in my hands. I looked around setting my eyes on the gas stove. I turned the knob on it seeing the flame rise. In that moment the ghost appeared in front of me making a run for me. I dropped the ring in the fire and she let out an ear splitting scream. The group ran into the kitchen as the ghost caught fire and eventually, vanished for good this time.

“Is it over?” Vanessa blinked in a state of shock. I nodded looking at the ash of the ring now on the cooker. Dean came over to me putting his gun on the side and rubbing my back. I laid my head on his chest taking it all in while he comforted me. “You’re so brave” he whispered to me. “Thanks for having my back” I smiled up at him. We eventually said our goodbyes to Vanessa who thanked us and even dove into her purse giving us a fair share of money for our work. We told her it wasn’t necessary but she insisted. The walk down the stairs was silent and I took a deep breath of fresh air when we got outside.

“I never wanna see them steps again” Dean huffed making Sammy laugh at him. “It was nice to meet you y/n” Sam reached out to shake my hand. “Mmh likewise, I can’t wait to tell this story the next time someone brings you two up” I giggled behind my hand. “It was a pleasure” he chuckled before walking off to his car. John came over to hug me goodbye. “Always nice working with you y/n” he breathed squeezing me. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me John” I whispered hugging him tightly back. “You don’t need to thank me sweetheart, you stay strong yeah, I’m sure I’ll see you soon” he pulled away but still kept a hand on my back to rub it.

I nodded a few times before turning to Dean who looked like he was waiting patiently. “Well” I sighed smiling, waking over to him. “You ever need help on a hunt- feel free to call me” “I just might take you up on that Dean Winchester” I giggled tucking my hair behind my ear, but I knew I was lying. “Goodbye y/n” he wrapped his arms around me holding me tightly. “It was nice meeting you Dean” I swallowed against his chest. Something tugged in my heart when we walked away in different directions. Something that could have been will never be and so I got back into my car, and they got into theirs.

“What do you think of her?” John smiled at his sons but focused his attention on Dean. “Yeah she’s great, a good hunter- she’ll be really skilled one day” Sammy emphasised from the back seat. Dean kept quiet. ���Dean?” “Yeah I agree- with what Sam said” he nodded and shrugged his shoulders. “You seemed to connect quite a bit” “yeah she’s cool, knows what she’s doing” “so… anything else?” John smirked trying to him something. “Dad I don’t get what you’re trying to get at?” Dean shrugged his shoulders again but in more of a stroppy way. “Oh my gosh” he put his hands on his face. “Did you like her Dean” Sam rolled his eyes chuckling in the back.

“What no- that would be disrespectful to you dad I wouldn’t do that”. John frowned shaking his head “why do you think I invited her on this case? I wanted you two to meet- I think you’d be good for each other”. Out the corner of deans eye he saw my car pull out the apartment car park. “You- wanted to set us up?” Dean rose his eyebrow watching my car. “Yeah” John widened his eyes. “You should have given her your number- instead of just empty promises you didn’t plan on keeping” John rolled his eyes laughing. “But- I thought you’d be fuming” “no Dean” he laughed shaking his head.

“Dad- please- catch up with her!” Dean pointed to my car flying down the road. “Yeah?” “Yes- I need to tell her I like her!” He frantically thrusted his hand toward my direction. John started the car up and sped out and down the road following me. It didn’t take them long to catch up with me. I saw John indicate on a lay by and did the same thing, assuming they wanted to say something to me. Dean jumped out the car and ran toward me. “Did you forget something?” I questioned opening my door.

“Yeah- to give my my number and ask you the time I’m picking you up for our date?” “What- are you talking about” I half smiled probably going red again. “I’m sorry I pulled away- I didn’t think my father would appreciate me making a move on you- but I like you y/n, I know you were lying you were never going to call me because I pulled away but I want you to” “I’ll take your number Dean- and you can pick me up on Saturday- at seven” I smiled passing him my phone. “Sounds good, looking forward to it” he grinned typing in his number and then passing it back. “Do you know what else I will have though Dean?” I smiled leaning in closer to him.

“That kiss that you owe me”. He chuckled putting his hand on my cheek and rubbing it before he leant down and met my lips. His were soft, he was gentle with me which I wasn’t expecting for such a big man. My cheeks burned red across from his as we met with the exact same rhythm. “You definitely left me wanting more Dean Winchester” I smiled up at him. “I’ll see you Saturday gorgeous” he whispered quickly kissing me on the lips again.

“Can’t wait” I waved as he was walking back to his car. What the fuck. Hold on, rewined.

I’m going on a date with THEE Dean Winchester.

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#fyp #netflix #imagines #writers on tumblr #writing #short storys #supernatural x you #supernatural x reader #supernatural imagine #supernatural writing #dean winchester supernatural #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester x reader #deanwinchtser #dean x you #dean winchester imagine #dean imagine #supernatural dean #dean x reader #dean winchester #dean x y/n #supernatural series #supernatural #dean x female!reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x original female character #dean winchester x plus size!reader #winchester x reader #winchester imagine

[lilbitdepressed27]

Tara carpenter/ Fem!reader

Summary: part 2 of you get kidnapped by ghost face

Warnings: sad reader but happy ending

WC: 3.2K

Authors note: sorry for mistakes. Enjoy :)

**

The healing process was a difficult one. Your parents had flown from California and almost forced you back on a plane to go back home. You almost complied but you knew you couldn't leave your friends. Not when they were also healing. It's been two weeks since the attacks. Two weeks since you got kidnapped by ghostface. Two since you lost your leg.

Chad was still in recovering but they he will be given his discharge papers today. You were also getting your discharge papers today. You have been going to physical therapy for the past two days. Your legs still hurt, it was still healing. It was something you haven't gotten used to.

You found out that Anika had been stabbed and was injured badly, but she was okay. She had hit her head hard and had developed a stutter and was 87% blind in her left eye. Mindy had been helping her with anything and everything. You were happy that your friends are doing alright.

But you, you were struggling quite a lot. You didn't show it. You didn't want your friends to worry. But you were, you didn't have two legs anymore. Walking was hard, every step you took, hurt. Having to walk with just one leg was, difficult. The crutches you used hurt your armpits. You hated it, you weren't scheduled for the prosthetic leg fitting until your stump was fully healed.

"Hey do you need help?"

At the soft voice you looked up to see a fresh clean Tara. You had made her go home and get clean, to get some rest in her actual bed. She didn't want to but with the help of Sam and your mom, confirming that you wouldn't be alone, she agreed. She had only been gone less than two hours at most.

Tara had been with you from the moment you woke up. She had refused to leave, having Sam or Mindy bring her a chance of clothes with her toiletries. She would shower in the hospital bathroom connected to your room. She could see how this changed you. You were depressed and she could see it. It broke her heart that she couldn't do anything to help you get better. She had tried just about anything and everything to help you.

With you being discharged today, you were rolled into the bathroom and with the help of your mother. You showered. Your mom had also tried, it broke her to see her only child like this. "But look at me mom. Who would like someone like me now?" The words rang through you moms head as she held you in the bathroom while you cried. It was the first time she watched as her daughter fall apart since the kidnapping. She had cried with you, all she could do was hold you while you wept.

After her shower and the emotional break down, your mom rolled you into the room and helped you sit on the bed in your under garments. She had to leave to to take care of the discharge papers. You had slid on a hoodie and now was just struggling with your sweatpants. That was when Tara had come back in.

On the way back in Tara had seen your mom, and your mom had told her that you weren't okay. That you were struggling. When Tara had seen how puffy and red your eyes were she could truly see how much.

"Uh yeah the pants leg is too long." You mumbled breaking the eye contact. You had hoped the redness of your eyes had faded by now. The last thing you wanted was Tara to be worried. You had not spoken about the kiss you two shared. You had never felt so deeply for someone. But now you were not so sure. Not about your feelings, never about that. But if Tara still felt the same. Or if she even felt the same. For all you know maybe she kissed cause of the moment. Your insecurities were at all time high. You didn't have it in you to talk about it.

Tara kneeled in front of you taking the hair tie she had around her wrist to roll up the pants up to your stump. Giving it space before tying it, so it wouldn't drag. "There you go." She spoke in a gentle voice. "Are you ready, I have all your favorite foods and movies ready for you at home." She offered you a smile, and she only got a weak one in return.

"Thank you Tara. You didn't have to."

"Hey. I wanted to. Now come on, I'll help you on the wheel chair." She stood up and rolled the wheel chair next to your bed, putting the breaks on so it wouldn't move.

"But I'm heav-I'm strong." She flexed her thin arms with a bright smile on her face as she faced you. Her smile only growing when she heard you chuckle. "You know I have been working out with Chad."

"Yea that was before every thing happened."

"Details. Now come on." She waved you off. She moved to stand in front of you. Holding out her hands. "My lady." Her dimples were on full display and she knew how much you loved them. And she will be using them for her advantage. It wouldn't be the first time.

At the sight of your red ears she beamed victoriously, she took your hands and pulled you up slowly. Letting you gather your balance. "Alright now hands on my shoulders." You did as she said, her hands moving to your waist. "Now I'm going to turn you, so your back faces the seat."

When you were finally sitting on the chair she fixed the foot plates, you moved your own leg to be placed on it. Your left leg moving as well only to stop when you realized that you didn't have to.

"Sorry." Your smile had faded into a frown.

Tara noticed the change right away. She's seen the way your left would move when you'd try to move, like you were trying to move both legs. "It's okay. Now your mom said to meet her out in front. That she'll pull the car up front. Sam's with her. Come on."

*

You were now sat on the reclining chair, your wheelchair folded and leaning on the wall. Everyone was seated around the living room watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and enjoying Chinese food. It was your favorite movie and your favorite food. But you just couldn't seem to focus.

"D-do want s-some e-ggg rrrolls Y/nn?" The gentle voice of Anika brought you out of mind. Anika had worn dark shades when she's out but when she was in the safety of the house she chose to take them off. She was insecure of how her eyes looked but some reassurance from Mindy and her friends she knew they would never judge for it. Her eye had a deep long scar over her eye and cheek. The scar sometimes prevented her damaged eye to open but when it did you were to see how red it was and it but off white cause of the lost vision.

"No thanks Ani." You offered her a small smile, you didn't really have an appetite. You plate was still full. You had taken a few bites but you couldn't finish it. You wanted to go to your room but you didn't want to leave them. Your mom had been here as well but you told her that she needed rest, so with some begging you convinced her to get some rest in her room. With her being back she asked, more like demanded everyone to stay in her house. It was more of a mansion with plenty of room for everyone. The group agreed, seeing as the apartment was still a crime scene.

Your crutches were leaning on the chair. With a sigh you stood up on your leg the crutches under your arm pits. Tara was by your side the moment you moved. Trying to help but shook your head.

"I'll be in my room." You mumbled softly to the group that had paused the movie the moment Tara had stood up to be by your side. Tara moved to follow you after your first shaky step, but you stopped. "Alone Tara just for a moment, please." With that you went towards your room closing the door behind you.

Everyone stayed quiet for a second Tara stood there battling herself, a huge part of her wanting to go to your room to comfort you. But the other part was wanting to respect your wishes.

"She's taking this ha-No shit Mindy she was tortured by her so called best friend, Quinn someone we all trusted for three days and half. They took her leg, but with Ethan she clicked with him. You saw how they were, Ethan betrayed her in the worst possible way. I don't know what to do. I'm worried about her I can't I can tell she's depressed bu-Hey Tara deep breaths." Tara had been so distracted that she began to hyperventilate. Her breathing coming out in a wheeze. Sam stood in-front og her with her inhaler in hand. Once she calmed her breathing she buried her face in her sisters shoulder and cried.

"It'll be alright Tara. She just needs time."

"I-I'll go t-talk t-to her." Anika stood up from her seat, Mindy moving quickly to assist her girlfriend. Anika stopped her with a hand on Mindy's shoulder. "I-It's okay b-babe I-I got th-this."

Tara figured anyone who would be able to understand you better would be Anika. Cause in the end you both lost something physically that was permanent.

*

You had successfully changed out of your pants into some loose shorts. You were looking down at your stump when you heard a soft knock on the door. With a sigh you called out letting who ever was on the other side of the door permission to enter. You were a bit surprised to see that it wasn't Tara but Anika.

"H-Hey is it o-okay if w-we t-talk?" She spoke at the gentle voice she always used when she wanted to have a serious talk.

"Sure Anika, come and take a seat." You patted the spot next to you. You tried to cover your legs with a blanket but Anika took your in hers.

"I'mm just g-going to get to th-the point, o-okay?"

You looked at her confused, not understanding where she was going with this talk.

"D-Do you th-think I'm un-undeserving of l-love c-cause of w-what happened to m-me?"

"What?! Of course not. Why would you say that?" You asked in disbelief and a bit defensive. Worried that someone said something. They haven't been back to classes yet, the professors giving the friend group extensions on their assignments for a week.

"BBut s-some ppeople w-would consider th-this-" She pointed to her scars on her face. "N-not attractive. I'm n-not completely blind Y-Y/nn. I s-see th-the way ppeople look at mmme. E-Even with the sh-shades on."

You opened you mouth to ask for names but she stopped you.

"I w-was scared that nnight, so sc-scared. I rrremember trying t-to cross th-the ladder i-into D-Danny's apartment. And th-then the llladder st-started mmmoving. I was a-already losing mmy st-strength to hold f-from the w-wound. Th-then I rrremember f-falling and th-that's it. N-Next th-thing I kn-knew I was wwaking up in the hospital with MMindy and mmy p-parents in th-the room. She told mme w-who the k-killers were. I-I would have nnnever guessed it'd b-be them. W-We trusted th-them and it c-cost us. S-Some mmmore than o-others."

You held Anika's hand a little tighter. She hadn't spoken of that night that she and group were attacked in the apartment. You wanted to know what happened that you remember Ethan mocking you about your friend group being shorter.

"I rremember waking up s-so s-scared. E-Everything was h-hazy and everything h-hurt. But th-then I r-realized I-I couldn't see f-from one eye and th-that I couldn't f-feel mmmy entire l-left side of mmy face. I mmade the mmmistake of asking MMindy for a m-mirror and when sh-she wouldn't l-listen to mme, I th-threaten to b-break up with h-her. N-Never seen her mmmove so q-quickly." She chuckled tearfully, wiping her tears with one hand. You chuckled as well, eyes glimpsing with tears. Anika speech had gotten better with time. The doctors had the her stutter would most likely not be permanent. And with speech therapy Anika too it was surely help. You sometimes could see how the stutter would make Anika feel. Impatient with herself. But everyone here had nothing but time. Never rushing her.

"I-I felt sso i-insecure about mmy face, th-that I cried ff-or hours on e-end. I-I had convinced mmyself th-that MMindy was g-going to b-break up with mme cause of how u-ugly I looked-Hey you are not ugly." You spoke sincerely. Making sure she knew that you were being honest.

"Yea I kn-know. I mmean it took a-a l-little c-convincing but you w-wanna kn-know how I-I over came the nnnegative thoughts?" She spoke to you in way that just made you want to cry.

"How?"

"With mmmy friends a-and family. You guys. Don't get mme wrong I st-still get th-them from t-time to t-time but MMindy always is th-there to push th-them away with her r-reassurance th-that she still loves mmme." She held your hands in a gentle but tight grip.

"N-Now look at mmme and tell mme wh-why you th-think you d-don't deserve to b-be loved."

You looked down at your stump. You weren't sure about the true answer now that Anika had you thinking. Anika was for sure the wise one of the group.

"You l-love her Y/nn. I kn-know you do a-and it's time for y-you to rrealize that Tara l-loves you b-back just as mmuch. Talk to her. Sam s-says you and Tara shared a-a kiss while she w-was fighting f-for her life." She giggled a little remembering over hearing Sam and Tara talking about the kiss you and Tara shared.

"I don't w-want you ssad Y/nn. We all l-love you just th-the way you a-are. Wether th-that be with two l-legs or one. Un-Understand?"

With tears streaming down your cheeks you sniffled and nodded. Anika bringing you into a very much needed hug.

"N-Now I'll go g-get Tara sso you b-both can t-talk. Okay?"

"Okay, thank you Ani for the talk."

"A-Anytime."

*

You didn't wait long for Tara to come in the room. You had stayed in the same spot when Tara walked in. She stood by the door way unsure if she could sit on the bed.

“Come sit Tar I don’t bite.” You joked earning a smile from the shorter woman. She was sat by in a matter of seconds. You wanted to just spit out like Anika did with you. Just ask Tara.

“Did you mean it?” You asked the question before you could chicken out. You had to know. “And please be honest.” You wouldn’t be able to handle it if she lied to you about the kiss.

“If you’re talking about that kiss, then yes. I meant it. I love you Y/n. Have since we were kids. You have been by my side through thick and thin. I’ll be here for you to wether it be as your best friend or, more. I’m in love you Y/nn and I hope you feel the same.” She with her usual confidence but with unsureness towards the end.

“Oh Tara, I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you. We were only what 10? You were always so tiny.” You gently nudged her shoulder, she laughed in return gently pushed you.

“Shut up. I’m super sized.” She took your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers together. Bringing your hand up and kissing the back of your hand.

“I love you Y/n. More than before, cause I thought I lost you Y/n.” Tara’s eyes filling with tears, remembering when the ambulance made it to the theater, how they had to push her to the side to get to you. How Sam had to physically hold her back when they took you away. The thought of never seeing you again had her in a panic.

“No one knew where you were. I didn’t know, that fucker texted me pretending to be you and I didn’t even fucking realize. How stupid can I-Hey it’s not your fault. Ethan knew me, he knew how I was with you. He fooled all of us.”

“It’s not your fault.” You continued, part of you wanted to forget the three days you were captured. Wanting to put those days behind you and never look back. But you knew you couldn’t and it wouldn’t be healthy.

“I don’t want to waste time anymore. If you’ll have I wa-” A pair of lips cut you off. This time the kiss was slow, filled passion, so many emotions were poured into the kiss. With her hands cupping your cheeks, yours were placed on her hips. You felt her shudder into the kiss as she tilted her head into the kiss. You brought her closer into your embrace, your heart racing in your chest.

Letting out a sigh of happiness. You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your lips. You felt her smile on return causing both of you to pull away, forehead connecting, she pulled away to look down at you. She had moved to be on her knees while you still sat making her a bit taller.

“There’s that smile. I missed seeing it.” She leaned down to quick but gentle kiss on your lips.

“Lay with me.”

The two of you laid on your bed. Your head resting on her chest. Hearing her rapid heartbeat. It was fast but you could also hear it slowing down into a calmer rate.

She looked down at you with a soft look. Taking in to ur relaxed facial expressions. She hadn’t seen you like this since before everything. She pulled you closer to her, remembering where every wound was at making sure didn’t harm you in any way.

She had you.

You were home. Safe and sound.

She’d never let you go, again.

:)

#scream #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #x reader #fem!reader

[domfock]

Ayo, Bookclub, I am back with another information clarification post.

Today we're gonna talk about Chronica, Domina, and Plants in the universe, as well as looking at the timeline. A lot of this information is already given to us in Vol 12, and the rest will not really be any spoilers but serve to give everything mentioned later more weight.

Right off the bat, Chronica and Domina are both Independent Plants. They're now born with neural blockers that contains their powers and prevents them from fusing. It seems to be common place for Independent Plants to serve upon Earth vessels, which gives us insight that Independent Plants are not only trusted, but also admired and respected in these military positions, as we see the Captain always refer to Chronica for her analysis and expertise.

And about Earth. Information was obviously lost over time, so it is easy to imagine the people on planet No Man's Land just assumed Earth was gone, or simply didn't bother hope for anything beyond surviving to the next day. With Earth dying, they sent out fleets to colony other planets, not knowing if they would ever make it possible for finding each other again. All that mattered was that humanity had to survive.

In time, they managed to develop a better and more sustainable form of energy, both to preserve Earth and Plants, and this allowed humanity to also develop warp drives to easily travel the stars, finally making the dream of connecting all of humanity across the stars.

Also, with a quick look at the timespan and year we have, we can use the dates offered in the notes about Tesla to nail down a time period. Tesla was born May 3rd, 2405. She survived for seven month and a half months, making that some time in January, 2406.

An unspecified amount of time passed before Vash and Knives were born, but let's go with a year or so for simplicity, which is then in 2407. Add then the one year plus a few extra months for the time they grew up on the ship, making it 2408. Now we add the 150 or so years, making it 2558, give or take the about three years of the entire story, putting us at 2561 as the current year of the story.

Chronica than states that it's been over two centuries since they started colonizing the universe, setting the year for when the SEEDs ships left Earth at around 2361, give or take a couple of decades or so. Meaning the colony fleets flew through space for like fifty or so years, at least the one Rem and the crew was on.

There's an unknown amount of human colonies out in the universe, most likely doing better than our main planet, since they managed to land on suitable planets and didn't crash and lose all their tech and information like No Man's Land did because of Knives.

It seems the tech and understanding surrounding Plants was not fully understood by the time the colony fleets were sent out, making Independents an unknown whenever they would eventually happen to each fleet and/or colony. With all these unrestrained Independents Plants across the universe, it is no surprise that Chronica speaks about having faced similar situations.

From what Chronica states, non-neurally blocked Independent Plants have for the most part turned violent and dangerous, as well. Might be caused by the access to near-unlimited power, even if the Plant situations could look a lot better on other Planets. They could've been treated like subjects, like Tesla, and grown their hate this way.

This also suggest how much of an anomaly Vash is, having been raised like a normal child, with love and care, growing into a reasonable man. It is possibly other Independents out there shared a good childhood too, which is why Chronica says most unrestrained Indepedents are violent, but not all.

It's also worth noting, that despite Independents having neural blockers to prevent them from fusing, they can still be forcibly assimilated against their will through direct contact, as we saw happening to Domina. Another person in Knives' long list of victims whose autonomy was taken away and body invaded by him, because he cares so much about other Plants and totally not acting out of his own hate and fear.

I hope this cleared some stuff up for everyone. I for one absolutely love thinking about what the rest of the world could look like, considering the scope of the world.

#trigunbookclub

[gooseagain8]

Can you provide silly fun facts about ur fangan for me to chew on and overanalyze/nf

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR A CHANCE LIKE THIS

OKAY SO OF COURSE NOT ALL CHARACTERS ARE FULLY DEVELOPED BUT ILL TALK ABOUT THEIR CONCEPTS (And go more into detail if I can )

Here's the main cast! Keep in mind that these designs are also very old and not how they currently how I want them to look, I have even more old concept art so let's go through those first!

Character Concepts -

Originally I only had 7 characters for the fangan, based on the 7 deadly sins.

Left to right is, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, Lust, Greed, Pride, Sloth

But of course I needed more characters because this would be like the shortest fangan known to man. Luckily my friend knows ALOT about the deadly sins and even told me about old additional sins so I can add more characters and learn more in depth about each sin.

I CANT POST ANY MORE PHOTOS SO UM PLEASE ASK AGAIN CAUSE IM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO FINISHED

Anyway,

You can see the additional sins in the first pic. I have notes for the hero just like the avarice girl but i dont have space and it probably needs to be updated

All three you see there have their designs DRASTICALLY changed

So um please ask again if u wanna see their designs :')

Fangan Concept -

I started out the with the idea of making the fangan be more on the... fantasy side?

Lemme explain the whole idea,

All 11 Ultimate Talents are on the verge of death, by some miracle, Angels from above have given them chance to live.

Well the thing is that this is a fanganronpa AHAHHAHAHAH so yknow

All 11 would have to kill, try to get away with it (they won't) , get executed , repeat process until only one is left alive.

I named this fangan, DR: Miracle Event

Right now I'm unsure if I should keep that as the main theme for the fangan because, can you even call it that at this point?

Is it a good idea and should I stick with it? What the hell do I name my fangan??

#danganronpa fangan #my fangan #fangan oc #fanganronpa #pls ask stuff #dr miracle event

[ellevandersneed]

I'm beginning to realize that I am gonna have to take my own gender exploration into my own hands completely, not necessarily rejecting any kind of collaborative discovery or anything like that but for so long I've felt like I have always been placed in referenced to a standard that needs to be reached in order to properly "join" any kind of socially constructed subgroup or what have you. This could be my parents panicking at my using makeup and playing girly games of dressup with my cousins as a small child or the rigid requirements of male friendship that I could never properly fit into or the insecurity that comes with "failing" to be a "proper" trans woman or fit into any of the "new" labels I find myself increasingly trying to explore and integrate into, be they: transgender, trans-feminine, neurodivergent, autistic, bpd (honestly maybe), ocd (honestly probably not), asexual, demisexual, etc.

None of these things, these experiences, are quite the same as each other, though of course they compound and have played a large part in the internal struggle I have always had with identity. What I want to be able to say that I reject all labels completely, that I am "simply me" but things are never that simple. I cannot understand myself by rejecting these various means I have of self discovery, and I cannot reject the aspects of myself that have to shape my worldview, lest I suddenly find myself lecturing someone with a different home life, in a different economic bracket, in a different country about the benefits of certain self care regimens or behaviors that are only available to me due to the time I have, the spaces available to me, and the knowledge I've accumulated for myself.

At the same time, of course, I cannot lean fully into any given label or set of labels without destroying my own identity in the process. There is no one type of trans woman, autistic person, etc and therefore no true standard by which one can adjust to. These identities are not seperate from one another either, and I think a lot of self or professionally or socially or cosmically identified autistic trans women will tell you about the inextricable bond that exists between their autistic and trans identities.

Yet to call myself autistic and to continually seek personal evidence and experience to match predescribed symptoms feels deeply unhealthy, for me anyway. A problem I have is that it feels easy to adjust my own personality in order to properly "fit in" to a role and I'm worried that I will subconsciously begin to act in ways that do not feel natural to me in order to prove myself as autistic to fellow autistics, the same goes for my trans-femme identity. It isn't a matter of active choice either, there is a compulsive element to it that I have to consciously challenge, and to do so is deeply exhausting. Even as I write this I find myself wanting to tailor my words towards potential signals, seeking affirmation from anybody who is willing to say "but of course you're autistic, but of course you're a trans woman." There are many ways for me to react to this, but the easiest and, of course, most antithetical to the point of this essay is to agree wholeheartedly and place my identity in the hands of others, and rely on their acceptance to determine the authenticity of my experiences.

The goal, I think, if a goal can be outlined, is that I do not want to reject labels completely and thus lose (others can reject labels because we all react to this stuff differently, I am speaking of myself explicitly here) the understanding I have and am developing in regards to my relation to the world around me and my place within the grand and unjust social heirarchy we are told again and again to accept simply as "life." The goal is also to not fall wholly into the comfort of labels that simplify and restrict the human experience to a set series of rigid qualifications and exceptions, but to use these labels with a looseness necessary for continual growth and self discovery. I am still figuring out what that might mean for myself. I reject a possible dichotomy between the total rejection and rigid adherence of labels. I am trying to find a third way, and it is a third way that, I think, will be different for everyone.

#essay #vent #gender #transfem #transgender #autism #labels #who am i who am i who am i #personal

[raayllum]

I'm torn with Claudia. The humane part of me wants her to stop walking her dark path before she destroys herself completely and find some measure of peace. The fucked-up part of me wants to watch her to lose it and go on the warpath and cause lots of chaos. Is that last one wrong to hope for?

Not at all! I do think we'll see her warpath arc next season, since as Ezran stated/foreshadowed

We all want peace and we all want love. But violence tests us. In a twisted way, it converts us to its cause. Because pain and loss feel so terrible inside, you want to hate. You want to hurt someone else.

Given that Rayla cut off her leg and the trio cost her the chance to save her father's life (since if/when Viren survives, I don't think Claudia will know for a while), I think she'll start chasing Revenge. (Which may lead to even more fracturing with Terry, as "I always believed in you because you had a reason" but we shall see...) And then maybe Soren and Viren will work together to try and bring her home, but maybe only in s7 - so who knows?

But yeah, I don't think ever wanting characters to go through "negative character development" or "fail" means we don't like them or don't understand/sympathize with them. Too often, I think, fandoms can have a tendency to moralize, well, everything, but in this case the choices writers make regarding their favourite characters, i.e. "This Bad Thing happened to Character A so therefore the writers hate them / are punishing them."

And don't get me wrong, I've definitely seen shows where a writing team just did not know what to do with a character, so they just heaped tons of pain on them and/or under utilized them, and who is shown on screen with discussed/processed trauma vs who isn't is definitely a discussion worth having, because none of that exists in an apolitical or aracial space.

However... by no means is the "punishing" angle what's happening all the time, either. What I think it comes from is like, some base assumptions and also a lack of literary understanding for some key aspects I'm gonna do my best at articulating clearly:

1) Operating under an assumption that if you like a character you should only want 'good' things for them, and for them to be a 'good' person, because you are also a 'good' person. This doesn't seem super moralized on the surface, but it explains a lot about "how could anyone like that villain" or offense to "how could anyone want that character to fail" and it's like, idk how to explain that failure and therefore conflict and tragic figures are Just Interesting, Brenda, even if they aren't your personal cup of tea. (I say, as a diehard Macbeth and literary Judas enjoyer lmao.)

2) Ignores catharsis and tragedy as elements of storytelling / as its own desirable genre. Sometimes, you want to watch a thing where you know the whole time everything is going to go horribly wrong for certain characters, or all the characters, and that's what's fun about it. The desirable outcome for every story or character is not a happy ending, nor are all characters or stories built for a happy ending, either. It can be upsetting, of course, when a character we like doesn't get the (happy) ending we hoped for, but that isn't necessarily always the same as a bad ending, y'know? Substantially bad things happening to a character doesn't always mean a narrative hates them; a focus on them is still a focus.

All of this to say: I don't think it's wrong at all to want, or be interested in, Terrible Things happening to a character. It's a thought experiment like any other, and pushing characters to their limits, revealing how they respond under intense or painful experiences - whether than pain is physical, emotional, or something else entirely - is fun and interesting. There's a reason there's are entire genres for Horror and Drama and tearjerker films after all.

Like I've been waiting and wanting for Claudia to snap and become a fully fledged villain since S2 because it was very clear to me just how much she was already Skewed in S1 and S2 made it clear to me that, unlike her brother, she would not be getting on a better path any time soon. Sometimes mess and hurt and mistakes is more interesting than healing, and sometimes it's the opposite (and those things aren't mutually exclusive either).

Like going into S6, I want everyone to Fail so badly (except, arguably, Claudia - who still isn't going to be getting what she actually Needs - and Aaravos, who's going to get exactly what he wants). Watching how characters and their relationships can fall apart, how their own consistent flaws and patterns, can lead them to make awful but understandable mistakes? That's my shit. And getting to see how they do, or don't, come back from that in the season, and in season 7? Chomping at the bit, I'm so excited.

I also don't think that hoping for another end, though, is worse than being excited for a tragic end, because while tragedies are about sadness, they are also - at their core - about Hope that maybe it won't end badly this time. If a tragedy cannot provide catharsis to a viewer, for some reason, then they are still fulfilling their purpose in nurturing hope and indignation in the face of perceived unfairness - that a character could try so hard and still be doomed; that we ourselves often take on tasks that feel insurmountable, that we can take on what looks like a losing battle and still, somehow, win. And maybe we don't - maybe they don't. But tragedies, if nothing else, teach us resilience and the merit of telling a story when you already know how it ends, and the skill of it lies therefore entirely in the execution (sometimes literally).

Basically: hope for whatever you want for whatever character you want, even, or especially, when it's 'bad'. It's what we've always done for a reason.

#thanks for asking #tdp claudia #the english major strikes again #lordjarman #tragedy enjoyer #tdp #the dragon prince

[dropthedemiurge]

Got prompted by @pinkkop but also partially this might end up as the controversial Thai BL post because the range of characters I'd defend with the passion is very wide for me:D

8 BL BOYS I WILL THROW HANDS FOR

Uea (Bed Friend)

This show isn't jokingly called 'A Tale of 1000 Traumas' for no reason, I mean – there is only so much one young adult can go through, and Uea has been through... well, almost everything. Tagging hurt/comfort fics on AO3 will result into red triggers all around. What fascinates me in this character is his resilience, too. He managed to go through everything with the sheer will power and knowing his own worth, what he deserves and what he does not. I am so glad the show made an active choice to send him to therapy and give him a considerate and loving boyfriend! He really needs both.

Sky (Love in the Air)

Again, no surprise that everyone would want to protect Sky. The acting was also chef's kiss in this show, I know I shouldn't be but I absolutely enjoyed seeing Sky getting triggered and sent to the red-lit room in his mind because this was pure cinematography, but irl I would just hug Sky with consent and never let him go. And kick Gun until he never rises up again too. I think Rain should've been given full freedom to avenge for his best friend. But this is also why I'm writing all these skyrain fics – because they are safe space for each other and I want to keep seeing it.

Rain (Love in the Air)

Ehem, like I said– the show has not declared it loudly but he's one of the most ADHD characters in Thai BLs if I ever saw one. He does not deserve to be mocked for his struggles and airheadness. I wish we saw more of him playing into his strengths beside taming a dom, instead of being infantilized by the show sometimes. Don't ask me to dive into full analysis though, I only could watch the PayuRain half of the show once so I'm going off vibes I remember, but I absolutely adore Rain and love reading fics that focus on his ADHD headcanon and how others understand and help him. And also those platonic BDSM tendencies he has with his best friend Sky.

Kawi (Be My Favorite)

For this guy, I would not fight the show or narration because they treated both characters and viewers with care, gentleness, wise teaching and love (Max is a harsh brat but that's his personality). I would actually fight the fandom: from people who hate-watched this show and refused to acknowledge it was amazingly done further than 'i might've liked it but ew screw this actor and novel the show was inspired by amiright don't judge me for liking it jk lol' to some individuals who missed the beautifully developed and portrayed close bond (aspec on at that, I'll stay firm) that spread across >10 years and different timelines and reduced Kawi to immature whiny weirdo who's scared to fuck Pisaeng ten times a day instead of one, idk. This show is a gem with many life-lessons and Kawi has one of the strongest and fascinating character development in Thai BLs that I've seen. Hands are being thrown.

Boston (Only Friends)

The creators of the show said the series didn't have any intentional message, but considering how many long discussions and poured out frustrations we had with some people, Only Friends definitely did Boston wrong. So what if he's a proud slut, should the show punish him for it while praising 'righteous' characters high on their horses? I don't think so. My guy was constantly filmed illegally and threatened by his hookups and friends, he's very hesitant about falling in love but he tried his best with clearly spoken offers, poly views and limits. I also see Boston kinda neurodivergent and/or demiromantic based on many lines he said about himself and his own view of people and relationships in the series. Nick might not be fully compatible with him, and I would throw hands for both of them, but if those two would communicate better, there would be no need for the OOC "twist" at the end. Their story could be beautiful, sad and realistic, instead Boston being kicked down in the street dirt by everyone after opening up about his heart and fears made me angry.

Akk (The Eclipse)

These descriptions just keep getting longer and longer? Oops... I don't think I need to explain the desire to protect Akk – this guy has not stopped crying since a mischievous and passionate newbie managed to break through his 100m thick wall of composure, pokerface and sheer will to survive. And also through all the manipulation Akk faced from the people he looked up to. Akk and everything that he went through managed to rip my heart out, and I'm not kidding. If you're repressed, oppressed and/or struggling with money, desire to make your parents proud and can't help but feel 'disapproved' feelings for someone – meet Akk, he's very relatable. I'd protect him and you too.

Thua (The Eclipse)

*clears throat* I did say this post would get controversial. I can and I will consider 90% of the people who hate Thua as lacking media literacy :D But without getting into useless fandom discussions, Thua is a poor teenager that needs love and support to be able to find himself and his own voice. He's stressed out by a harsh step-father, constantly facing homophobia and mocking in school, has suicidal intentions and the only good friend who opposed homophobic students and teachers, who showed him safe space and helped reach out to his mother, encouraged him to speak out loudly... went behind everyone's back, started dating the main "bully" of the school who threatened every queer for months and decided to support him while silencing students' and Thua's voices. At least that's what Thua experienced from his POV. Would you throw hands? Thua did, and while I may not agree with how he handled the situation, I can't hate him. He finally stood up for himself and his own, tried to change the system, and I'd fight Suppalo school for him too.

Black (Not Me)

There's someone who doesn't need my protection at all! A second before turning into bloody merciless activist-fighter who doesn't shy away from murdering capitalists and cops, I would still want Black not to think he's better off alone. While antagonistic sexually-tense exchange of comas with his ex-best friend can count as one of the most delicious type of romance that happened in subtext not text, he still deserved to seek solace in his ex-girlfriend and (ex? they were so close, why Gram does not care about him at all when he returns? we'll never know) other activist friend's company. Also, fighting with his life to change something in how the country works and hearing 'nah, your twin is better, he knows how to fight with social media so we achieved more with him than with you' from his mentor and Black deciding that he should again ditch everyone he cares about...noo:( I need spin-off about him where he gets everything he really deserves.

#I think I could've picked up 2 more but I can't think of anyone else right now #writing these 8 has already filled me with fire xD #thai series #thai bl #gmmtv #let's say pat and pran are the 2 left and i won't need to explain anything #dropthemeta

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Overlooked Gabriel & Annalise Moment - TBSATDH Spoilers

A scene I don't really see people talk about in regards to Annalise and Gabriel's relationship in The Bastard Son and The Devil Himself is the one in Ep. 8 when the boys reunite with her. Gabriel gets to her first, she looks to him first, and she seeks comfort from him first.

Gabriel and Annalise's bond tends to be overlooked and downplayed a bit within the fandom space, and I can understand why. Their bond is probably the most subtle of the three and also the only one that hasn't included any kissing. It’s also the least developed and it's closer to a deep platonic or queerplatonic dynamic.

But in this moment they both look at each other so intensely. The screenshots I took can't really capture it, but Annalise was practically clawing at Gabriel for physical comfort in that scene. And that makes sense to me, given the dynamic we've seen between the three before.

Annalise comforts Nathan:

Nathan comforts Gabriel:

Gabriel comforts Annalise:

Of course, there has also been times when all three of them drew comfort from each other:

And Gabriel did comfort Nathan in this scene, though it was more akin to “snapping Nathan out of his guilt and trauma response to the situation,” since there wasn’t really time for comfort.

But the most common dynamic we’ve seen, and when looking at their one-on-one interactions, Annalise comforts Nathan, but rarely vice versa. So it makes sense that she looked to Gabriel for comfort first, then turned to Nathan. 

I really feel like that Episode 5 scene, when Gabriel and Annalise held hands and gave each other comfort during the Ceremony, is when their dynamic started to shift and change a bit. In the sense of getting more intimate and intense, though not necessarily romantic or sexual. 

If the series wanted to pursue that route in a (hopeful) second season, I wouldn’t necessarily object to it. Granted it is handled well, especially because I can see how it could potentially tie into the implied trauma Gabriel experienced from Mercury (she had no qualms with kissing Nathan when she was possessing his gran’s body, and her words and actions to and with Gabriel imply possible sexual trauma and abuse, in the below image she says, “So hard to say no to such perfection” while looking at him and touching him in a very sexualized way). 

The set up that Season 1 left off with seems to heavily imply that Jessica and Mercury will be the big bad duo of a potential Season 2, which would work perfectly with the hanging plotline of the boy Gabriel promised he would come back for at Mercury’s. And all of that would tie in nicely with a deeper exploration of Gabriel, his sexuality, his past and traumas, and his bonds with both Nathan and Annalise.

As someone who is aroace though, I would also be perfectly fine with Gabriel and Annalise’s relationship continuing to deepen but still staying in this space of deeply platonic and/or queerplatonic, since I feel we could always do with more representation like that, especially for poly ships.

Anyway, wrapping all of this up: That Ep. 8 scene speaks volumes about Annalise and Gabriel’s bond and I love it! It shows how they’ve grown a lot closer to each other than a lot of the fandom thinks they have, and possibly even more than either of them had fully realized in-series until that moment.

#The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself #The Bastard Son and The Devil Himself #TBSATDH #Gabriel x Annalise #Gabriel x Annalise x Nathan #Mercury #TBSATDH spoilers #long post #image heavy post #meta #if anyone else has anything else to add #please feel free!

[v3nusxsky]

Greetings! I’ve been loving all your Lady Lesso work and want to request something but romantic. Basically the reader’s ex-girlfriend was abusive and made her develop an eating disorder, however she’s really good at hiding it. Lesso eventually discovers how the reader sometimes starves herself and immediately confronts/comforts the reader saying she loves her no matter what. Thank uuuuuu 🙏

Hello my dear! I’m so glad you have been loving the fics I’ve been loving hearing from all of you :)

Lean on me Darling

*Authors note| this is such a beautiful prompt and I love that you are trusting me with such hard but important topics. It feels me with pride that I can shed light on these topics and raise awareness. Most of the what I write comes from experience but if I don't know I do research to ensure I get everything right*

Trigger warnings ~ Abusive ex, eating disorder (starving/skipping meals)

Prompt~see the ask &lt;3

It was getting bad again. You knew that. Yet you still felt absolutely powerless to stop it. And before you knew one missed meal became two then three. It was a dangerous vicious cycle, unfortunately one that you had been in before. Sometimes you knew a relapse was coming, certain triggers were easily spotted and you could work hard to counteract them. But you couldn't stop this one. So you did what you always do. You buried yourself in your school work, avoiding everything like she had taught you.

Your ex girlfriend knew of your eating issues, and you thought she was helping. After all that's what she said she was doing. You allowed her to take control over your meals when you mentally couldn't cope with it. Little did you know you were being manipulated and abused under the pretence of love. She knew of your poor family relations and that made you an easy target. Only now you had finally escaped her clutches did you see just how toxic she was. Moving to the school for Good and Evil was a fresh start for you and that's what made this relapse ten times worse. The guilt. You were messing up your fresh start all by yourself. And that fact seemed to make you slip further and further into the dark thought space.

You were quite good at masking relapsing by now. You knew the appropriate amount of time to sit at the table pushing the food around the plate before you could get up and leave. You knew the best places to hide food if anyone had given it to you. You knew how to dump any food that was unable to hide. You knew how to disguise the dizziness and the fact weight was falling off you at an alarming rate. You knew if you drank enough that your stomach would remain silent. Filling up on water was something that allowed you to hide your relapse for so long. She had also taught you all of this.

That's how you managed to hide from the great Dean of Evil for so long, in fact it had been months now. You were definitely getting unhealthier as the days trickled by but you couldn't make yourself care. You knew you deserved this, to suffer, to hurt after all what's beauty without pain? Her words would circle through your mind on an unrelenting loop. So much so you had fully conceived yourself that she was right. You needed this. You needed to suffer. Then maybe you'd be beautiful. However your mask slipped the day you passed out in Curses and Death traps.

Lesso had her students sparing in an attempt to strengthen their abilities, your ability was physically and mentally demanding, you knew that but try as you might you were not getting away with not participating. You took deep breaths and attempted to survive the spar but your weak exhausted body couldn't put up with the exhaustion much longer, you passed out cold on the floor. Lady Lesso immediately called the spar off, her student could not kill before graduation and the very thought that she had just witnessed that honestly panicked her slightly. Crouched down by your head, ignoring the sharp pain in her right knee, she noticed your eyelids fluttering indicating life. You were coming back around. Thank the heavens above.

You were always disoriented when this would happen, memory hazy as you attempted to focus. The pain in your shoulder indicating that's where the impact of your fall was. You could've sworn your heart stopped beating when your gaze focused on the Dean. Shit! You scrambled to sit up only to find her hands gripping your shoulder preventing any rapid movements. "Slow down y/n, are you feeling okay?" She murmured to you hoping to keep the attention you received minimal. After the other students worked out you were in fact not dead their interest seemingly dwindled.  And you managed to bluff your way through using the sparring as a cover story. She bought it surprisingly, you couldn't help but be impressed that you had fooled the women.

The second time it happened you were not that lucky. No this time it had happened in the halls. You were making your way back to your dorm when it happened again. Your books tumbled from your hands slamming to the floor as you felt consciousness leave you. A blissful blackness enveloped you. Nothing to be seen or heard. Is this what death is like? Well unfortunately you weren't as lucky to find out. Consciousness began to flood throughout you once more, a disappointment lingering through your heart. Once again you were met with the worried irises of the Dean. Her hand slowly stroking at your clothed shoulder in a comforting repetitive moment.

You flinched away as though you were burned. You knew damn well that she would feel just how poignant they were. And by the look in her eyes you could tell, you were caught. And that is how you ended up in her office for a "discussion" about your adjustment to the school. At first you tried to deny everything, after all that's what she taught you. Say nothing. Hide it or they will stop you from becoming truly beautiful. To be worthy of love. But you could tell the Dean was seeing through your lies and becoming rather frustrated with the fact. That's what made you break.

You stood in her office, sobs wrecking through your weak body as you shook and eased yourself to the ground. Breaths coming out irregularly as your eyes were blurry due to the tears. You were curling up into yourself hugging your knees to your chest as you attempted to self soothe by rocking yourself gently. In that moment, Lesso was sure she'd never seen someone look so small and so broken. It shattered her heart. Which is why she found herself once again knelt in front of you despite the pain in her knee. "Little one?" She hummed out putting effort into making her tone seem more light and comforting than normal. When you moved your head up she was met with your tear soaked eyes. She had choose to keep her hands in your direct vision not knowing how you would respond to touch in this state.

It was then that you spilled everything. All the pain and hurt from the past. Every single thing she had done and said to you. It felt like a heavy weight being lifted off your chest. And she listened attentively to everything you disclosed, that automatically made telling her that much easier. You even told of her of the current relapse. When it started. What you do. What you feel and think. Just everything. And you could see you had shocked the Dean. She immediately put two and two together though as you knew she would.

"So that spar with Hester was this?" She questioned almost knowingly. When you nodded you heard her slight chuckle. "I did wonder, Y/n your more than capable of neutralising her gift. Why didn't you come to me little one? I could've tried to help" she mumbled picking up the courage to tilt your chin upwards with a slender finger. "Promise me, from now on to come to me, you're not broken my dove we will fix those beautiful wings of yours and you'll flourish" her tone of voice conveyed just how much faith she had in you and that honestly made your heart swell. "Now my little dove we are going to get you something to eat okay?" You eyes held the fear you were feeling which instantly had her adding "I will stay with you the whole time and even eat so you aren't eating alone little one, how does that sound?" You nodded knowing eating with someone always made you feel less self conscious about what's on your plate. Maybe just maybe you could be beautiful without this.  As if she read your thoughts Lesso took you by the hand and helped you up before catching your gaze and murmuring " you're beautiful dove no matter what or how much your eating beauty radiates from within."

Word count~ 1512

*Authors note~ so most of this is personal experience for me, I was diagnosed at 8 years old, after blacking out on a climbing frame and breaking both bones in my arm and even twisting them over eachother. I still relapse every now and then but I do have my tools and support system. So if this is something you struggle with please reach out to someone you trust. And remember that beauty truly is a concept and exterior beauty is different to the beauty of a kind soul*

#fanfic #lady lesso #sfgae #leonora lesso #lady lesso x reader #lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso #anon request #thanks anon! #anon reply #anons welcome