#if she doesn't betray him in the end i dont even know

[urlovebrini]

i'm super shy. i'm all nervous 'cause you're on my mind all the time, and i wanna tell you but i'm super shy (part 1)

⋆❀ — includes: alhaitham, cyno, kaeya, wanderer x gn! reader, fem! reader with cyno [only mention of the word miss in cyno, im sorry i didn't find another word]

⋆❀ — summary: he can't seem to let your mind alone and you want to make a move but you are super shy

⋆❀ — content: fluff, gn! reader (mention of skirts, makeup, and lipgloss with wanderer) pinning, one-sided attraction, not really one-sided attraction, pet names (kaeya calls you angel) a lot of pinning (you are super shy dah) little embarrassment, in the end it works. protective master diluc, you work at angel's share and he is a good boss, kaeya and diluc banter, nilou bestie, she is a sweetheart and wants the best for you.

⋆❀ — a/n: i swear that this song doesn't let my mind alone, so I have to do it. every constructive criticism is accepted, and if you comment, it is appreciated. maybe tell me your favorite.

⋆❀ — part 1 | part 2 [diluc, heizou, thoma, xiao]

I'm super shy, super shy But wait a minute while I make you mine, make you mine I'm all nervous 'cause you're on my mind all the time I wanna tell you but I'm super shy, super shy

⋆❀˖°·🧋࿐ ࿔˚cyno

days at the akademiya always held a certain rhythm - classes, debates, conferences, homeworks, readings, and writings - you thought that you had become accustomed by now. but in the last days, it was all in the background, to a single presence that lingers in your head. him. you had only seen the general mahamatra in the corridors, but it seems like he was established in your mind all the time. you mulled over the idea of talking to him, but the simple idea made you nervous, the tought of being in front of him made you feel so shy.

walking through the crowded akademiya corridors, as you are headed to the exit, your path is intercepted. standing before you is the general mahamatra, and as your eyes meet his gaze, your toughts momentarily falter, your mind swirling with sensations, leaving you slightly disoriented. he begins to speak, but his words blend into a distant hum and you mind struggles to fully grasp the situation. Cyno looks at you, his intense eyes piercing you "miss?".

the realization that he's addressing you seems to catch you. He notices how your lips part slowly, and in a soft voice that betrays your nervousness, you utter, "i'm... sorry, can you... repeat that?", a low voice and a soft color that starts to warm your face. cyno observes you his eyes fierce and unwavering "don't worry, miss" but his voice is soft and almost calming "its and investigation, i just want to inquire you about a teacher and some peers of you" even his tone was soothing it was fill with autority.

cyno is looking at you with so much intensity. he observes you as you part your lips to respond, but as words dont come out, you quickly change to a nod. his perceptive gaze, noting how your eyes fall on him to quickly divert them to another place. "alright, miss, come with me." he gives you a last look, noticing your nervous and shy state. with silence, he takes the lead, guiding you towards the oficce.

the questions flow swiftly but cyno its observant on you, notices the stolen glances you cast in his direction, only to avert your eyes almost immediately, whether to the floor or an invisible point on the wall. to the slow, enchanting blink of your eyes and the gleam they hold. he catches the subtle parting of your lips and the way your breath catches wheen he addresses you as "miss" or by your name.

after that day, whatever he is at the akademiya, he can help but get his attention caught by you. by the way your gaze lingers on him as he stroddes through the corridors, the silly way your divert your eyes if he helps to catch you looking. and the occasionally sweet shy smiles you grace to him. he's far from oblivious to the attention you direct his way. he is intrigued. and now he knows now the nervousness in your first encounter it was not fear.

it was the end of the day, you gather your belongings, preparing to head out, as you make the way to the exit, someone interrups your steps, you gaze lifts and cyno is looking at you, his gaze intense and perceptive looking at you "miss". he looks at you as you start clutching the strap of your backpack, and your eyes shift downward, how you bite to lip before you talk "general mahamatra," voice softly almost timid "do you have more questions? need more information?" you voice lingers as he hums.

"just one question miss," his eyes fixated on your face, looking how you look at him quickly and shyly. "would you consider joining me for a dinner or a cup of coffee?. a warm smile graces the general lips as he observes your surprise, your lips slightly parting in a mixture of astonishment and words that seem to elude you, lost for words, you offer a nod of excitement. cute, its the word in his mind. as he take your arm delicately a playful glint shines in his eyes "shall we go for that coffee? perhaps we can brew something brew-tiful"

And I wanna go out with you Where you wanna go? Find a lil' spot, just sit and talk Looking pretty, follow me You and I side by side

⋆❀˖°·🧋࿐ ࿔˚ wanderer

the first time you saw wanderer was just purely by chance, you had deviated from your usual path, seeking a break from your routine, and that's when you spotted him. it was just a single moment, just a single second, but time seemed to stand still, and you found yourself inexplicably drawn to him. it was so absurd, a cliche, you didn't believe in love at first sign, so you chalked it up to just a passing crush.

yet the next day, you found yourself walking back on that same path, telling yourself it was a refreshing change. and there he was again. and perhaps there was something more to it. the path became your daily journey, and more often than not, he was there, and you couldn't deny how your heart would skip a beat when you saw him, how the little stolen glances turned into lingering gazes. you knew you should talk to him, say something but every time he was near there was a hold on you. it felt as if he had a unique power to invoke an overwhelming sense of shyness within you.

just as your shyness is hindering you from initiating a conversation, you better try to capture his attention. day after day, you put extra effort into your appearance, trying to look the most pretty that you can all in bid to catch his eye. you feel that you are making a fool of yourself, a more alluring perfume, lips glossy, eyelashes curled, and the clothes day by day a little more reaviling,

and even though you are not aware of it, wanderer is fully conscious of your attempts and intentions. he notices all the effor you put into trying to catch his attention; its rather pathetic, the extra care in your appearance, the skirts that seem to get shorter by the day, its laughable and entertaining. And oh, those shy, needy glances you made only add to the comedic effect to him. so he won't make it easy for you. he doesn't intervene, he doesn't acknowledge it, he wonders how much longer you can go if he tells the true he is a little facinated

as days pass by, you decide to make an attempt to initiate a conversation with him, maybe even invite him for or simply just say hi. but as you set out on your regular path, nothing seems right. you find yourself running behind schedule, the wind is wreaking havoc messing with your appearance, and the words you planed don't feel correct and are unwilling to stick with you. and as you spoot him your nervousness surges, causing you to reconsider your decision. plan b involves handing him a letter, yet as you get close, you repent and yearn to escape. even afraid you look up. wanderer looks at you with a mix of surprise and confusion, making you look to the ground again.

as if he had reached his limit, wanderer lets out an exasperated sigh and strides toward you "what on teyvat are you up to?" his tone tinged with a blend of incredulity and amusement, you could feel you cheeks start to burn, looking for something for say but lost on words. caught between wanting to explain and wishing you could simply disappear.

he let out a chuckle. he begins to gatter al your things, finally he helps you back onto your feet, his touch gentle yet commanding, and you can't help but feel a flutter of nervousness in his presence. you seem almost afraid to look at him. he regards you with a mix of exhaustion and amusement "if you thought i hadn't noticed your efforts, you are more dumb that i tought" he remarks, his lips curving into a condescending smile.

but before you can respond, wanderer's hand catches your chin, guiding your gaze to meet his. his words come with a sense of resignation. "agh, let's go," he says, his tone softened as he releases your chin. "I'll take you on that date you seem so desperate to have, whether you like it or not." his hand moves to grip your arm though gentle, his hold was firm to indicate that there is no turning back "I'll take you on that date you seem so desperate to have, whether you like it or not."

You don't even know my name, do ya? You don't even know my name, do ya-a? More than anyone You don't even know my name, do ya

⋆❀˖°·🧋࿐ ࿔˚kaeya

the nights at angel's share were typically bustling with activity. you moved gracefully around the bar, tending to customers with your usual warm smile. trays of drinks came and went, and your friendly, slightly flirtatious charm seemed to be a hit with most patrons. however, when it came to kaeya, everything changed. a nervous shyness seemed to envelop you whenever he entered the bar. you were well aware of his reputation; kaeya alberich, the charismatic cavalry captain of the knights of favonius, was known for his suave words and flirtatious mannerisms. and despite knowing, you found yourself falling for his charms.

and it seems that you can't help it. each time you have to interact with him, a mixture of weakness and uncertainty welled up within you. his confident demeanor, those alluring eyes, and the way he effortlessly commanded attention were truly captivating, Yet, amidst the flutter of your heart, a pang of doubt tugged at your thoughts. "You don't even know my name, do you?" you mused inwardly, yoy can evade the toughts, does he even know your name? Or does he see you merely as the waitress of the bar?

this night was not different, as you attend the patrons during the night, giving sweet smiles and small laughs, you found yourself occasionally stealing glances in kaeyas direction, and with each little look, your heart beat a little faster. it happened every time he orders a drink or engages in casual conversation. he was so alluring, the way he was leaning casually against the bar, his easy smile and his witty remarks, and you can help but offer him shy smiles as you attend him and fulfill his request.

"here you go, all ready, captain," you manage to say with a shy smile, placing his order on the counter and trying to avoid looking to his eyes. "thank you, dear," he responds, his voice smooth and appreciative. you take your leave but just as you are about to turn away, his voice reaches stooping you.

"wait, dear," he says, his voice soft and inviting, his gaze is fixed on you, and a playful glint sparks in his eyes as he continues, "care to take a little break and join me? how about we share a drink together? i promise i won't bite... much." your heart skips a beat at his invitation, you glance at him, momentarily lost of words. kaeya looks at you, his eyes with a glint of amusement and something more. you stutter a little in the beginning "umm i, you, amm captain kaeya" you start, voice soft and timid "i appreciate your offer, really, but im actually working right now. and master diluc would scold me if he found me sitting and drinking with a patron"

kaeya laught softly. he leaned casually against the bar, his posture relaxed, but his eyes held a mischievous glint. "Ah, master Diluc," he began, his voice dripping with playful sarcasm "always the responsabile one, isn't he?. he rolled his eyes dramatically, the corners of his lips tugging into an amused smile "but, you know, my dear, he can be quite buzkill sometimes" the casual banter between the brothers was know, and you couldn't help but chuckle at kaeya words.

however, as Kaeya's gaze settled on you, his expression softened, and the playful tone gave way to something more genuine. "but you know," he said, his voice quieter now, "i think even he can't argue with the fact that an angel like you deserves a little break now and then."

as you grasp his words, the air seems to shift around you, and your heartbeat quickened. "angel," you repeat softly in bewilderment, as if you were trying to grasp the meaning and understand why he would refer to you in that way. kaeya lips curled into a gentle smile, his eyes holding yours as he leaned closer to you "yes, angel," he repetead softly "isn't that what you are?" you found yourself momentarily lost in his gaze "i come here quite often, and each time I see you," he continued, his voice like a whisper meant only for you, "you make even a rowdy tavern feel like a sanctuary, angel." and you couldn't help but be entranced by the way he looked at you,"an angel blessing us all here in angel's share," he concludes, in that moment all was a blur your eyes enchanted by his gaze

"kaeya i ask you kindly to please don't disturb my workers and let them do their job," dilucs voice broke the enchanting moment, his tone a mix of annoyance, warning, and command. kaeya's demeanor shifted as he looked at Diluc, a playful and innocent expression crossing his features. "oh, diluc, i'm just making sure my angel is fine," he quipped, his tone light and teasing. diluc's gaze narrowed with a touch of exasperation. "Kaeya, I think they are perfectly capable—" "everything is okay, master diluc," you interrupted, your voice soft and shy as you didn't quite know where to look amidst the sudden attention.

diluc's gaze softened, and he nodded once before turning his attention back to the bar. the brief exchange left you feeling flustered, your heart still racing from kaeya's earlier words. you dared to steal a glance at Kaeya, who was still watching you with that same playful twinkle in his eyes, and a gentle smile tugging at his lips. his voice carrying a sense of intimacy amidst the bustling bar. "it seems duty calls for now, my angel, but rest assured, I meant every word I said."

kaeyas tone softness as he continues "and i will be here making sure my angel is alright, umm? his words enveloping you in a cocoon of warmth. he leans in even closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper that only you can hear amidst the ambient noise. "And you know, I'd love to get to know more about the angel who graces Angel's Share. Maybe over a drink sometime?"

I'm usually pretty talkative, what's wrong with me? I don't like that Something odd about you Yeah, you're special and you know it You're the top, babe

⋆❀˖°·🧋࿐ ࿔˚ alhaitam

the grand bazar bustle as ever, the vibrant streets, and the cacophony of the shouts of the vendors, serves as a background echo of your mind as you strolled through it. your body tire from the theater and dance rehearsals, yet you mind keep wandering towards him. he had come to watch the play a few days ago, invited by nilou. it was exasperating that you couldn't pinpoint when you started feeling this way about him. he was just special. he was captivating, and those eyes—there was no logical explanation, just a simple truth: he was undeniably handsome, and a single glance from him was enough to make your heart skip.

you couldn't shake off the strange feeling. he held a grip on your subconscious. his presence lingered, even when he wasn't around. and butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the more thought of him. nilou would often nag you, pressuring you to take a step forward. she said that he should consider himself priviliged and fortounate that someone as charming, sociable, outgoing, beautiful and smart, as you had taken notice of him.

but she was mistaken. a lot. there was something unique about him. the grand scribe, with a commanding precense and an aura that carried a hint of severity and a touch of intimidation. yes there was just something about him.

so when you hear nilous voice calling you over and you approached her, the bustling surroundings seemed to fade into insignificance. he stands there by her side. his eyes, those turquoise eyes with a rubi vein, the world around you sems to fade as he holds your gaze. nilous words hung in the air. but your mind was preoccupied to comprehend alhaithams presence in front of you. as she introduce you, and talk more. the exchange between the two of them seeme distant and muffled, fading into the background, leaving you struggling to grasp the specifics of their conversation.

you catch brief things like your name, dance, books, and something about academic interest. she's talking about you. nilou is talking about you, and a spark of panic jolts you out of your daze "they have such an interesting view in dance and arts! things i wouldn't even tought, they say something about ummm. how it was? arts and dance as a place to human construction and projection, i think those were their words. they could talk to you more about it sometime! i find it much more fascinating than some things from the academy." nilou's words would have carried on, but the distant voice of mr. zubayr interrupted, "excuse me, I have some matters to attend to, but I'll leave you two. we'll talk later." as nilou excuse herself. alhaitham eyes linger on you, his gaze penetrating.

you turn your attention back to him. your gaze meeting his eyes. a moment of silence before he speaks, "so, dance as a platform for human construction and projection?, that's quite a unique topic? care to elaborate?. you feel a mixture of surprise and flustered nerves. why must he look at you with such intensity. normally, you're quite talkative, but his presence has an uncanny way of rendering you speechless. "it's not really a serious research topic," you begin, your voice coming out softer than you intended. you clear your throat and look at him, your eyes meeting his briefly before you quickly glance away, your cheeks warming with a faint blush. "it's just... something personal, not professional."

alhaitam's gaze remained fixed on you, his intense scrutiny seemingly dissecting every facet of your being. he had been aware of you before, the graceful dance of the zubyar theater, enchanting and lively almost like a fairy. while the world of the arts held not fascination to him you were quite intriguing by you. and he could see trough your so adorable reactions to him. his lip curled into a faint smile, a playful glint in his eyes that you seem to lost "personal, hmm" he muses, his voice carrying a teasing hint as he leans closer, his lips almost brushing against your ear as he whispers, "Those tend to be the most intriguing, don't they?" the warm of his breath sends you shiver and his proximity is leaving you breathless

as his gaze unravel your reactions, he cant help but admit, you are indeed quite a distraction - such a pretty distraction. "it's just, umm, i belive in dance as more than moment, is more of a expression for the human i think you respond, your words slightly stumbling in your nervousness "its just something im curious about..."

"curiosity is a valuable trait" he remarks and you eyes look at him "let's take this conversation to a more suitable setting," his voice resonating with a confident command. without waiting for your response, he gestures for you to follow him, as he starts walking, his confident demeanor makes it clear that he fully expects you to accompany him. so you follow him.

the silence between you as you walk is almost comfortable, his eyes stole little glances of you, a hint of amusementent in his eyes, as he seems to relish in your nervousness it's as if he finds solace in the fact that you're a bit flustered in his presence.

ost in your thoughts, you suddenly find yourself stumbling, a gasp escaping your lips, before you know it. his arms swoop in to catch you. your body instinctively presses against his, the warmth of his proximity seeping through your senses. "you're a bit clumsy for a dancer," his voice carrying a hint of amusement. your gaze meets his, a mixture of embarrassment and lovesickness in your eyes. and a subtle change in his eyes darkening "or perhaps it's just an excuse? A way to get closer to me?".

a mixture of embarrassment and something else coursing through your veins. "perhaps there's a hint of truth in that," you reply, a timid smile gracing your lips.

⋆❀ — a/n: this is the first part, or best say the stories of the first characters. weinting some of this was so dificult i am looking at you sumeru boys. in the new part i will doing xiao, heizou, thoma and diluc, i hope it's ready tomorrow or before.

#໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ brini writes #✮⋆˙𐙚 genshin impact #🎧ྀི song inspired #𐙚₊˚⊹♡ cyno my beloved #𐙚₊˚⊹♡ scaramouche my beloved #𐙚₊˚⊹♡ kaeya my beloved #𐙚₊˚⊹♡ alhaitham my beloved #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact x reader #cyno x reader #cyno x you #wanderer x reader #wanderer x you #scaramouche x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya x you #alhaitham x reader #al haitam x reader #alhaitam x you #spotify #songfic #super shy #new jeans #genshin x reader #genshin x you

[isawken]

disco elysium and transmasculinity:

i don't want to be this kind of animal anymore

there is no such thing as an inherently masculine trait, only those which we have culturally prescribed to be masculine. muscular, tall, strong, stoic. self-destructive. repressive. angry. unhinged. violent. addictive.

Disco Elysium markets itself with the tagline “what kind of cop are you?”. to put it bluntly: you get to choose what man you want to be. the actual gameplay mechanic is the game keeps track of your dialogue choices and, among other RPG things, neatly divvies them up into 4 main Cop Categories: Sorry Cop, Apocalypse Cop, Superstar Cop, Boring Cop. after some time establishing your identity you can branch off into 3 other copotypes: honor cop, art cop, and hobocop. These are all exactly what you think they would be.

a supremacist stands tall, immovable, shirtless, tattooed, in the way of one of your objectives, and if you let him he will tell you all the ways your body betrays your degeneracy. all the indulgences you make, with drugs and alcohol and sex, are allegedly clear as day written across your reddened swollen face. you are not a man. you are pathetic. a pair of women reassure his divine masculinity even when he admits his impotence. there’s no denying it: that’s one man of a man right there.

your former detective partner is an eternally scowling pockmark faced asshole. he approaches every interaction with you with a nice solid baseline of aggression. if you choose to put your points into something called “espirit de corps”, you get small vignettes of his previous actions. in one of them, it’s joked that you two are near-marital in your relationship. in some of them, he worries about you. muttering under his breath, mostly to himself, not unkindly. but he certainly never shows that to you face to face. 

two old men play pétanque outside every day by the sea. they have done this for years. they have known each other since they were kids. one is a fascist, the other a democratic socialst. if you’re nosy, you can go to the watchman’s post and find a picture of him, his socialist buddy, and a young woman whose attentions they supposedly both vied for. if you decide to become a fascist, the game gives you something more. your abilities Pain Threshold, Composure, Endurance, Volition, Conceptualization, and Inland Empire take turns showing you tiny slices of a truth viciously stamped beneath the heel of his brilliant boot. a love for his dear hated socialist. and when he dies, that socialist tells you the same. but they never told each other. never even came close. because how could you?

harry dubois wakes up face down ass up covered in piss and vomit and full of foggy confusion after drinking himself into amnesia. he's tall, he's got giant arms, a proud beer gut, and he's self-destructed himself into literal oblivion. this pitiful bastard doesn't even remember his own name. the first person he encounters outside of the hotel room in which he fucked himself up beyond his limbic system’s reach tells him at some point during his bingeful weekend she heard him scream, "i dont want to be this kind of animal anymore". you don’t know why you said this. but after a while you have some pretty good guesses.

i could talk forever about the unique circumstances of growing up as a girl in modern western society. but i have nothing interesting to say that hasn't already been said much more eloquently. learning to hate my body, learning to be afraid, learning that you need to want to be consumed. the eternal unpacking of all the issues a patriarchal society burdens you with. it never ends. but i've at least reached a point where i've done my base legwork. i know the oppression i've fought. it is nameable. i have labeled each and every patriarchal burden like a so many papers in a filing cabinet. few are going in the shredder, but at least they're known. next to that filing cabinet, i have a big pile of loose papers slowly sliding off a desk with the word "masculinity" in neon lights flickering above them. i want to dive into those papers. but the thought of it fills me with such apprehension. i've always wanted masculinity. i've purposefully adopted affectations to make myself more stereotypically masculine. most are hilariously shallow, and not exactly innovative. i smoked camels for 8 years. i drink my coffee black. i picked up a nice little alcohol habit. i've shoved down more feelings than i would ever willingly admit in the hopes to appear unbothered. I’ve told myself to “man the fuck up” my fair share of times. none of it got rid of my hips or my tits or my anxiety or my painfully high pitched voice. i’ve quit smoking. i sometimes think i should start again for many reasons, but one is in the hope that my voice will drop. just one octave. at least. it’s silly, i know. believe me. i know.

when harry drags his sorry ass out of that hotel room, he isn't free of his past. he has shadows in his mind reminding him of the things he's forgotten. shadows that still influence his views of masculinity. there is no way to truly escape the bitter leaden paint stuck to the inside of your mind so violently applied by our beloved patriarchal society. there is a hilarious dialogue option where, if you so choose, you can proclaim that you would never let anyone androgynous touch your hair. because the “others” (unnamed) would laugh at you. here we have a man who cant remember his own name, but he is certain that he absolutely cannot under any circumstances have a non-manly haircut for fear of mockery and rejection by his peers. how many coats of that leadened paint must have adhered to his poor, poor limbic system that even when he’s forgotten the concept of money, he still knows about the boundaries of masculinity.

 as harry tries to be a good person (or a fascist or a doom prophet or a disco superstar) he cannot really shake the pieces of himself that make him him. and he meets another bastion of masculinity, kim kitsuragi immeasurably measured, willful, and kind (for a cop), he helps you rediscover the world around you as you try to rewrite your tabula rasa'd self. he is firm, but nice. he lets you make your choices and mistakes. and he only stops supporting you when you start fucking up like, literally everything, and indulging in racism. naturally, there is a lot of fanart of them kissing, and yearning. both are beacons of masculinity, different sides of the same coin. where harry is physically imposing, kim is slight. where kim is calm cool and collected, harry will break down crying after a brief conversation with his necktie. but both are undeniably masculine. i mean, they’re cops after all. what more masculine profession is there?

as kind as kim is to you in your lowest possible state, it can be easy to overlook the ways in which he is not kind. when you tell him you think you really, seriously, need to go to the hospital, seriously kim i can't even remember my name i think i could have brain damage, kim responds with the equivalent of "walk it off" by encouraging you to start working on the case and see if that makes you feel better instead. it is in this light that you recognize which affectations of his are conscious posturing. his fitted jacket and trousers, matching the uniforms worn by air brigades in a past war. his careful collection of tools he keeps in his beloved kineema. his vast knowledge and care for the car itself. looked at in a certain different light- you know the one- you could see these traits being the result of a very careful construction. he found pieces of overt masculinity and decided to subsume them as a defense. a bolstering, a reinforcement of chosen masculinity.

there are so many different flavors of masculinity that the game offers you to experience and explore yourself. you decide whether to value them. you can follow in mister phenology’s footsteps and try to build yourself into a supremacist ideal. maybe that will make you happy. you can also chase after a barely-coded homosexual man, who makes you stutter in most available dialogue options. even if that may make you happy, you don’t get to pursue it. you can think for 20 hours about the "homosexual underground", but you can't join it yourself. you can however join fascism. interesting how harry is more susceptible to fascism than homosexuality. interesting to prod and poke at his masculine limits.

“what kind of cop are you” is a loaded question. harry is rebuilding himself from the ground up as a man. and how funny is it to learn that is inextricable from his profession.

what do you find inextricable from your gender? what of those traits make you happy? what of those traits make you want to throw your fucking shoe through a god damn window and punch the bathroom mirror and scream and scream and scream and scream?

i want to emerge from a hotel room, at my lowest point, and have the power to rebuild myself from scratch. i want a cool man who i maybe want to kiss guide me with a gentle yet firm hand. i want to have large arms, and a proud beer gut, and a stupid beard, and i want to destroy a hotel room and drink myself into a beautifully tragic state. i want to have non-political body hair. i want to get stared at for my gaudy tie and green snakeskin shoes instead of my tits. i want become a different kind of animal.

#this is very long and rambly and filled with half-finished thoughts #i will maybe one day come back to it and finish those thoughts #but i just wanted to put this out there. slide into my inbox if you also have transmasc feelings about disco elysium. i want to hear you #disco elysium #transmasc #transmasculinity #transgender

[liquidluckandstuff]

Harry having an eating disorder. All from Dursley abuse

He feels extremely uncomfortable eating in front of other people and only takes a bite when he thinks other people aren't looking.

Hides food in his pockets even after being there for months because he is so used to not knowing when he is going to be fed next.

Binging every now and again because he feels safe enough to eat and doesn't know when that will happen again but ends up throwing it all up later because he feels so guilty about wasting food on himself.

He loves that Mrs. Weasley wants to feed him, but hates how much pressure she puts onto him to eat.

Harry finds quiet hidden places in the castle to sit on the floor and snack on something he took from the Great Hall just so he can feel comfortable. He particularly likes cupboards

Shall I add in some Voldemort stuff too?

Harry has visions of Voldemort when he is feeling too strong of an emotion, but Voldemort has visions of Harry when he is just too hungry.

Harry got better about his problem, but after the graveyard its worse than ever.

Voldemort doesn't understand why Harry would do something like this to himself until Harry is sitting in the great hall and is afraid to eat a sandwich. It's not even just that. The boy can't sit at a table and take a bite at the same time. His mind is rejecting the thought.

He watches Harry take small bites in corridors or hiding in his bed. He watches as Harry gets thinner and thinner and has to glamor himself to hide how bad it's become.

He watches as Harry faints in the hallways after a detention with Umbridge because blood loss + no food = bad times.

It makes it all to easy to kidnap Harry. A starving mind is not in the right spot to defend itself.

He doesn't even want to kill Harry anymore. Not with as weak as he has become. It becomes more of an experiment.

He provides Harry with food and space.

one time he offered Harry lunch and of course Harry refused for every reason. Until Voldemort made them both a plate, vanished the chairs, and then crawled under the table to eat in silence. Harry thought it was ridiculous until suddenly the plate of food didn't look so intimidating and he was able to take a few bites.

Voldemort sees him hiding food, and offers him a snack or two every time he sees him even if they only separated for an hour.

He doesn't comment on Harry's appearance, and hides every mirror so Harry doesn't have to agonize over the way he looks everyone is always so obsessed with how he looks (just like your father except your eyes ) (he's so thin! Harry why dont' you grab an extra plate) (have you seen that scar?)

Slowly, Harry starts feeling more secure and joins others at the dinner table, although he still loves sitting on the floor with Voldemort in their own private time

and yeah sure Harry finds it really really hard to betray the man who sits with him and makes him breakfast just the way he likes it because he'd never had an option to try things like that before it's always just been decided for him

and then Harry's studies become better because now he can eat and has to make someone proud.

I can do this all fucking day

#Voldemort #Harry Potter #drabble #dadmort?! #evil dadmort?!

[fiveloml]

the umbrella academy x reader. “ i could never stay mad at you. “ [ gender neutral reader. ]

─ ✧ tua characters after / during an argument and want to apologize.

─ ✧ first fic !!! hoping it doesnt flop to hell :'o hi everyone im froyo and im obsessed with tua!! i also use they/them for klaus :]

@ ─ luther hargreeves ☂︎ number 1.

LUTHER quietly knocks on your door, hearing your voice say “ come in “ is his sign to walk in with an assortment of your favorite snacks. he had a weak smile that disappeared once he noticed the tears in your eyes after the argument, he places the snacks on a nearby table and slowly sits next to you on the bed to see if you'd move away. you didn't.

so he went with a long apology, explaining how he was wrong and that he was sorry that he hurt you. after it, he gave you a gentle kiss on your knuckles and hoped you forgave him. “ you're so sweet “

@ ─ diego hargreeves ☂︎ number 2.

DIEGO is a honest man, he wont lie to himself but he felt such a strong urge to prove that he was right in the argument. not realizing he began to hurt you in the process, and the second he realized ─ he stopped.

he notices the tears in your eyes when you looked away, balling your fists as you figured it was useless to argue. you turned your heel and before you could walk away, a gentle hand grabbed your wrist as you looked at diego. his face filled with regret. “ wait─ i want to apologize. “

@ ─ allison hargreeves ☂︎ number 3.

“ i heard a rumor that you- “ ALLISON covered her mouth in realization, watching your expression turn into one of betrayal. “ you promised not to rumor me. “ you sniffed, but allison was the one to run out the room.

once she was back into her room, she felt sick to her stomach. you were the one good thing allison has ever had in.. forever, so to betray your trust in that way had guilt piling up like no other.

after a few hours, allison had approached you while you rested on the couch of the living room. “ i can't get you to forgive me overnight.. but i can try to make things right to help fix us. “

@ ─ klaus hargreeves ☂︎ number 4.

KLAUS drowned out your arguing by covering their ears, muttering nonsense as you tried to get your point across. “ klaus please just listen─ “ you tried to reason, but they only pressed their hands against their ears even more. “ i'm only worried about you! why dont you understand that?! “ you snapped, tears in your eyes as klaus suddenly froze up in shock.

“ you.. are worried? “ they said softly, putting their hand on your cheek as you nod in their touch. “ i'm sorry.. so sorry. i didn't want to make you worry for me. “ klaus whispered, pressing their forehead against yours with a cheeky smile.

@ ─ five hargreeves ☂︎ number 5.

FIVE was a.. difficult man to get to know well. he avoided things that were too touchy or that involved attachment, so when you came into his life ─ it was hard to adjust to such things he avoided his entire life.

so this lead to arguments, mostly one sided on five's end since he was simply worried. “ what were you doing out there?! you could've seriously gotten hurt. “ he said worridly with a tint of frustration. “ i'm not weak, just cause i'm not like your superhero family doesn't mean i cant defend myself. “ you crossed your arms, but he grabbed you by the sides of your arms and looked straight into your eyes. “ exactly, you aren't like us! “ his face changed once he realized what that could be interpreted as.

you wanted to walk away but five's grip on you kept you in place, he rested his head on your shoulder and said nothing else. he was showing that he was vulnerable and could only show this side to you. five was bad at the whole relationship gig.. but you knew he was trying his best for you. “ i know you worry, but i can handle myself. okay? “ you sigh, patting his back as you pulled him into a hug. “ okay. “

@ ─ ben hargreeves ☂︎ number 6. [ if he were alive ]

it was less an argument, but you can tell the atmosphere was tense after the mission today. BEN was supposed to be scolded by reginald, but instead you took the blame for his mess up. “ i got in the way by being there, i distracted ben. “ you lied to the father of the hargreeves.

“ you're forbidden to see my children, especially ben. leave. “

and so the two have you started meeting in secret, however did not bring up the reason why you were doing this in the first place. causing an aura of silence whenever you two met up. “ why'd you have to take the blame, i could've handled it. “ ben murmurs, leaning on your shoulder as you smile down at him. “ but you dont want to get scolded, right? “ and your theory was confirmed when he didn't answer, but his hand squeezed yours. “ i'm sorry.. i just cant bare to see reginald do that to you. “ ben sighs as you plant a kiss on his forehead.

@ ─ viktor hargreeves ☂︎ number 7.

VIKTOR always distanced himself out of fear he'd get used, especially after what happened with leonard when he was younger. you always reassured him that you have nothing but love for the boy and he knows that you do, but his fears get the best of him at times. “ you aren't safe with me! “ viktor yells, but you only look at him sorrowfully, people have hurt him so much and gets treated like hes nothing.

“ vik.. “ you murmur, walking towards him slowly as he continued to mutter to himself while sobbing. you gently wrap your arms around him, leaning into his chest as you listen to his heart beat quickly, his breathing stabilizing as he began to relax in your touch. “ i'm sorry.. i'm so sorry, i didn't want to snap at you.. “

#tua x reader #tua x you #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy x you #five x reader #five hargreaves x reader #ben hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader #luther hargreeves x reader #allison hargreeves x reader #viktor hargreeves x reader

[lesbian-odo]

okay as a huge odo person, i have to say that i really hate how what you leave behind betrayed one of the major aspects of his character that makes him so compelling to me, by having him rejoin the great link forever. anyone can see how odo is a character that can be seen through an autistic or queer lens. but one specific part of that- which ties into a larger them of the entire show, is the whole found family aspect of it. ds9 shows the cast go from having uneasy alliances to really deep connections and bonds. some examples include:

sisko doesn't want to even be assigned to the station and doesn't seem to particularly even care about the bajorans. by the end of the show he comes to see ds9 and bajor as his home.

kira resents the idea of the federation being involved with bajor but by the end of the show she's made great friendships with all of the starfleet people and even becomes a commander herself.

miles hates julian's guts at the start of the show but then they become incredibly great friends

there's just so many examples of this. over time, the cast of very unique, lonely, even outcasted people grow attached to each other and form a found family. in my interpretation, that is a very powerful queer theme that ds9 portrays and is very meaningful for me personally.

specifically when it comes to odo. odo at the start of the show is established as the only of his kind. he doesnt know who his people are. he's lonely. but then he finds the founders and actively chooses not to be with them because they suck. instead odo finds solidarity and companionship and family with the people he knows on deep space nine, notably kira. this is especially powerful when relating to queer people whose families just dont accept them or are just generally bad, and make the people in their life who actually care about them their real family. this is why i resent odo having to go back to the great link at the end of the show. it betrays his arc and it betrays that powerful message. the founders are not odos people. odos people are the friends that hes grown to rely on on the station. it feels so wrong for, at the very end of the series, for him to throw all of that away and join the link. those aren't his people. they don't love him or care for him the way the people on ds9 have. he should've told kira that he was going to come back, that he doesn't care that the founders are changelings like him. the people who actually care about him are his real people!!!!!!!

#ds9 #star trek #odo #what you leave behind #lo #lor

[blood-injections]

Hmm another android au idea and also venom sib angst. So. Asshole Party Poison thats like stuck up and doesn't see droids as people and doesn't think they're alive. Versus,, theres a few options here. Asshole Party versus Ghoul whos secretly an android that escaped the city, and hides it because well, as you can imagine, people dont always have the best reactions. But one day hes hurt or something and they all find oit and either Partys like. Well i know you you're my friend ive seen you scream and cry and laugh and have nightmares and be a person, so i guess i was wrong, sorry if i ever made you think you couldn't trust me because of that.

Or. It goes the bad route and Party freaks out, and accuses Ghoul of being a spy or something and tells him to leave and theyre both yelling and he leaves because surprise! he doesn't feel safe anymore, and in his mind hes been abandoned like he has by everyone else, and he hates himself for what he is and how it drives people away. Meanwhile the crew is tearing itself apart becuase Kobra and Jet don't have the same reservations as Party about droids and Kobra especially gets pissed and storms off after his best friend that was just fucking kicked out so there's the venom sibling angst there too and jets just like freaking out like worried for ghoul and dissapointed in party but also shes just like in shock because shes desert born she knew there were droids in the city but nothing really about them like what they looked like or if they were people or if they could even leave the city and ots all something shes never thought of till now, when suddenly one of her friends is one. So shes a mess and shes torn between going and finding ghoul and Kobra or staying and dealing with party all the while trying to work out her own opinion on it all, which ends up being that she may not know anything about androids but ghoul is still ghoul.

There could also be a venom sibling version of all this, where, again, asshole party poison, but its kobra thats the droid, and maybe hes always been or maybe poison did have a sibling once but they were replaced for some reason and what replaced them became Kobra. Maybe Kobra doesn't even know hes one. Maybe they're not blood siblings, maybe Kobra was a kid poison picked up off the streets or early on in he zones, and theyre not blood but they might as well be, but kobras secretly an android. Or maybe something horrible happened to him, and he was recently turned into one, whether he was experimented on or something equally horrible, and his mind was transferred into the body of an android or he was just so fucked up that like everything in his body was replaced by mechanics, maybe purely as an experiment to see if it worked, if someone could survive all that and still have a fighting spirit.

Whatever it is, then everyone finds out, party finds out and same thing, either theyre like oh i was wrong, yea of course you're still my brother, or party freaks out, feels betrayed, scared that there was an imposter in their life for so long, and accuses kobra of being a spy or whatever, and kobra like im your brother. Please. And Poisons like but you're not. You're not, you're a fake, you're not human. And yeah. Venom sibling angst. Yum.

#ttlotfk #danger days #the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #danger days au #corvidscrap

[rachetmath]

I dont think it was confirmed that adam was on the train it could have been a hallucination. and hazels whole point is how he mishandled his grief and repressed the pain and tried to pin the blame all on ozpin to the point he worked with salem due to finding that fighting against her useless. IT doesnt change the fact that deep down he didnt want salem to win which is why he got angry about oscar telling him. and for watts he doesnt do magic what you suggested is having him do magic on penny

as for the cat while jaune had a mental breakdown he didnt break like neo or ruby did. the cat was waiting for jaune to breakdown for years but jaune never did jaune had a mental breakdown but it wasnt severe enough.

Adam:

RWBY Vol 6 EP 1

RWBY Vol 6 Ep 5

RWBY Vol 6 Ep 10

How did Adam get Argus to even fight Blake?

Watts hacked into Penny:

RWBY Vol 8 Ep 8

And if you believe she couldn't be taken over

RWBY Vol 8 Ep 3

Pietro did it. This is not magic. It's Programming and coding. All science.

Hazel

No. We all know. Come on. You say he didn’t want Salem to win deep down then why? Why did he aline himself with her? Why does he follow her orders? Why not team up with Ozpin or become a teacher himself to protect the students? I mean has he ever leaked information to someone to help the heroes? Nope. This man died like a hero but was a villain in the long run. Again commit to it because you have too much blood on your hands to say otherwise.

Now the as for the cat.

RWBY Vol 9 Ep 9

Lewis was going back to Remnant. And he sat there. Watched him leave. Didn't bother to go with him.

Now for Jaune

Killed a friend.

Gets trapped on island. But goes back in time before his him and friends by accident with his only option being to wait for them or get home (which wouldn't do him any good considering he would've ended in the wrong timeline. But then again he would basically abandon team RWBY.) He then meets Alyx only for her to betray and poison him.

And after finally seeing his friends again and taking them to his hut. They just call him crazy. And he watched as the same people he protected died right in front of him.

Seriously? This doesn't mentally break anyone. And this wasn't even touched well in the show. And this was Jaune on the island for years while Ruby and Neo were only in Ever After for A DAY and:

Cat got em. So again Jaune is stronger than Ruby and Neo.

#rwby #adam taurus #hazel rainart #arthur watts #rwby watts #jaune arc #ruby rose #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #lie ren #nora valkyrie #penny polendina #cinder fall #rwby alyx #neopolitan

[feraelancunin]

attachments - before;

ferael had always craved, connections, attachments. friends, family, love. those things have always been deeply precious to them - even as their wretched, unlovable carcass tore through victim after victim - what their heart really desired was to be loved. not something the Chosen of Bhaal would ever admit - even to themselves.

as a child, they had deeply cared about their adoptive family; who in turn loved them dearly as well. the high elf and drow couple took in as many orphans as they could feed - they werent rich, so there were not many. one older tiefling sister, an older half elf brother. and a little bhaalspawn, half drow - going by a name long now forgotten.

they were a happy, if violent child. sudden bouts of animal cruelty worried their family - both parents tried to help steer their youngest away.

we know what happens, of course. ferael ended up killing them. baby's first murder - their own mum, dad, siblings. they stood above the bloody corpses. not understanding why they did this? why did i feel so good to do this?

of course, the butler shows up, takes the little urge to the temple - from then on, ferael doesn't have a life outside of being a bhaalspawn. murder, worship. that's all. everyone who had ever meant anything to them, has died by their own hand.

they leave orin at an arms length. they dont get attached, there is no familial love between them, at least not at a surface glance. ferael can't remember if they didnt care or if they didn't want to hurt their new "sibling".

truthfully, ferael has no one, but their vile butler for a significant portion of their life.

this changes when they meet gortash. these two get along well. a sort of friendship blossoms. they plot their grand master world domination plan.

ferael falls in love.

ferael knows that eventually they will have to betray gortash and kill him. of course, ferael will fulfill this purpose. in their Father's name. but they... they dont want to.

And Father notices.

so they beg for forgiveness, assuring their Father that the banite has a purpose yet. and that once it's fulfilled, they will flay him.

but their heart aches. it's the first time since they killed their parents that ferael and the urge are not aligned. they are distracted. unfocused. taking out their anger on myrkulite cultists in moonrise. ketheric is not a fan of them.

ferael is suprised that gortash pays them a visit at moonrise. that was not a planned visit.

as it turns out; that wasnt gortash.

orin strikes ferael down, she was shapeshifted into gortash - the only person ferael would let their guard around.

oh her pathetic older sibling. how easy it was to find their weakness. she got the better of them. she won.

one of their final thoughts as they black out is the realisation - their love for gortash is what doomed them.

#dark urge #durge #the dark urge #bg3 dark urge #durge x gortash #pre game durge #ficlet #orin the red

[class-1b-bull]

What if they met a villain outside of school, (who wasn’t like doing villainous stuff when they met) and they had developed a relationship, until they just see you on the tv, with a headline like “masked villain finally revealed” with a big ol’ picture of you.

Not proofread we die like men

Probably a bit ooc for some of these characters but oh well.

Awase - 'haha no dont kill people your so sexy ahaha.' Seriously though he refuses to believe any of it at first and his friends have to pull him to the side to really drive it into him that you wernt a good person. He still tries to find anything to redeem you (a justifiable motive or smthn)

Sen - after he found out he looked like he wanted to kill you for a while. I mean hes quick to get into fights and who wouldn't want to fight someone who betrayed them? But he mostly just stays in his room and shuts himself off for a while.

Kamakiri - bro kinda gets pissed at himself for not being able to tell you were a villain when the two of you spoke. I mean this dangerous villain was right there and he just let you walk away.

Kuroiro - he manages to keep his nonchalant front when he first finds out but as the day goes by he cant stop thinking about it. He ends up sitting in his room in silence trying to convince himself that the news article wasn't real.

Kendo - shes so confused and conflicted when she found out you of all people were a villain. She managed to convince herself that you were being forced to do these villainous acts by someone else. But even she knows its just denial. For someone so calm and collected she looses that a bit when it comes to the people closest.

Kodai - shes another one of the students who locked herself in her room. You two were so close yet you were a villain. She would refuse to open her bedroom door for anyone for a while. The only exception would probably be one of the girls who came to comfort her and make sure shes eating properly.

Komori - she was one of the ones that cried the most when she found out you were a villain. You were so kind and the two of you quickly became close so you betraying her like this hurt her more than shed like to admit.

Shiozaki - shes so shocked and sad when she finds out. She doesn't quite cry or lock herself away like some of the others but she does sulk for a while. She keeps to herself and is a bit more reserved than usual but its hard to tell how upset she is about finding out your a villain. Its hard to tell how hard it really effects her.

Shishida - hes honestly one of the most hurt when he saw on the news that you were a villain. You two were instantly close when you met and he thought you were one of the nicest people hes met. Not only was it surprising when he found out but it left a impact on him emotionally that he most likely cant recover from

Shoda - it takes him a week or two before the fact that you betrayed him really sets in. But when he does finally get it nailed into him that you were a bad person then he silently gets frustrated and upset. Other than that he tries to act like it doesn't effect him because he doesnt want those around him to worry

Pony - she gets really sad for a while and finds a lot of comfort hanging out with the rest of the girls for a while. She seems quiet and tired for about a week or so but she brushes it off and insists that shes fine.

Tsubaraba - he really tries not to let anyone see how upset he is when he found out. He desperately tries to keep up this cool guy persona in front of his friends only to fight back a break down the second hes alone.

Tetsutetsu - he went on a run after finding out you were a villain. Running helps clear his head not to mention its good exercise. But even though he practically ran around til he was about to collapse he couldn't clear his head at all so instead he just ends up holed up in his room for the day.

Tokage - for a long while she lies to herself saying you never existed or that you two wernt that close. She leaves whenever your mentioned or she sees something that reminded her of you because its the only thing that can stop her from breaking down. She lies to herself to try and stay strong

Manga - he blames himself more than anything else. He blames himself that you became a villain when it had nothing to do with him. He keeps telling himself that if he met you earlier he could have stopped you from becoming a villain but he knows that theres nothing he can do now exsept sulk.

Honenuki - despite how friendly and social he is he became quite reserved for a while. He always had his mind somewhere else and let his grades slip a little. After a few weeks have gone by he goes back to normal but he brushes it off when anyone asks him how hes doing. He knows opening up is important but he doesn't want to, at least not now.

Bondo - hes more in shock than anything else. You seemed so nice when you were hanging out together. You even let him talk about how excited he was to be a hero. All while you did villainous deeds on the side.

Monoma - i wanna write something kinda sad for him but the only thing i can imagine is his angsty ass blasting sad songs from musicals while dramatically sighing to himself in his dorm room. But seriously though he becomes reserved for quite a while and even leaves class 1a alone during that time.

Reiko - she keeps a strong front when around her classmates but she slowly starts to break down once shes in her room away from everyone else.

Rin - after he finds out someone so close to him was a villain he starts to push himself to get stronger, in the unhealthy way. He loose sleep and forget meals because hes too busy training/ studying. He'll get to the point where he can barely stand up straight without feeling dizzy, all because he feels guilty of not being able to save you before you became a villain. This is the self punishment he thinks he deserves for something that isnt his fault.

Gif Anime - Blue Period

#class 1b #bnha headcannons #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #awase yousetsu #sen kaibara #kamakiri togaru #shihai kuroiro #itsuka kendou #yui kodai #kinoko komori #ibara shiozaki #jurota shishida #nirengeki shoda #pony tsunotori #kosei tsuburaba #tetsutetsu tetsutetsu #setsuna tokage #manga fukidashi #juzo honenuki #kojiro bondo #neito monoma #reiko yanagi #rin hiryu

[kworus]

As promised, here's an analysis of why I firmly believe Aziraphale's actions in s2e6 are in character and why I don't believe in the coffee theory. Obviously I could be wrong but I've been overanalyzing everything to distract myself from THE HORRORS so here's this. ***good omens s2 spoilers below.*** this is kinda long btw

If yall dont know, the coffee theory revolves around the coffee the metatron gave to Aziraphale, and claims that he was poisoned/brainwashed by said coffee. The two main arguments, excluding that to many aziraphale felt ooc, are that a small miracle sound could be heard and that the metatron puts some attention to the amount of almond syrup in the coffee, as if he was hiding some kind of smell. I lowkey believed this theory because it is true that Aziraphale´s actions feel weird, and something else has to be going on. But that is because we are seeing things from Crowley´s point of views.

Crowley sees this as Aziraphale choosing heaven over him, the same heaven that betrayed him and treated him like shit. On top of that, earlier he saw Gabriel and Beelzebub end up together so easily, and that is just so unfair to him. However, Aziraphale thinks he is not *going back* to heaven, he's changing it, because he truly believes heaven is good, its just the people running him that fuck everything up. Where Crowley saw an injustice with how easy it was for the ineffable bureaucracy aziraphale sees a chance, specially since he's now replacing Gabriel. If he could do it then so can he! He can make heaven worthy of him and Crowley.

Now i want to go back to the metatron for a moment and how i think he really is manipulating aziraphale. If he has the power to brainwash aziraphale to do whatever he wants what is the point of telling him he can be with Crowley to convince him? What the metatron is doing is convincing aziraphale that they are on the same side, after all they both enjoy human food and the metatron doesn't mind that he's with Crowley. It's also important to note that azi doesn't know in detail that even Gabriel couldn't convince the other angels of not making another armageddon. But even if he knew he has the metatron on his side right? He believes it can be different with him in charge. The coffee is just a way for the metatron to show his “human side” to aziraphale.

Back to aziraphale, one of the moments where he felt heavily out of character for me is when he says nothing lasts forever because he spent a whole season saving the earth just so he could enjoy earthly pleasures with Crowley, and he loves his bookshop so much. How can he give this up so easily? But what he probably meant was that he's willing to give everything on earth that he loves to safely be with Crowley, and his only way to do that is to change heaven from the inside. Otherwise, they would be fighting the armageddon over and over again. This IS in character for him if you see it from his perspective.

Finally, if aziraphales decision was only atributed to some kind of brainwashing all of the possible ineffable husbands future arc would lose all its meaning. Aziraphale has said at times that crowley goes too fast for him (he said it about driving too fast but symbolism) 6000 YEARS IS TOO FAST FOR HIM!!! He needs time to process everything and we even have a parallelism with nina and maggie. Everyone was expecting them to immediately end up together just because they fell in love and nina is now single, but she needs time and thats realistic!! Shes not ready for another relationship but eventually she will, and maggie will wait for her. Aziraphale and crowley have a similar situation, only with 6000 years of angst and ineffability. The coffee theory would erase all of the complexity and chance of development of aziraphale character. Lets remember that this is the worlds slowest slow burn, it wont become fast all of the sudden. So i guess we just have to wait and see and thats gonna drive me fucking insane.

#good omens #go2 #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #coffee theory #im going insane im trying to cope #ineffable divorce

[neonain]

Title: GASTLIGHTING HAH!

Fem!Reader!Eustass Kid! x Killer! (LIGHT!)

First off, Reader is Female Eustass and you and Killer's relationship is only mentioned here in the one shot

And also, I like Oda's design of female Eustass but it lacks the rugged or built look the original Kid has, she may have a sleeper's build but I headcanon female eustass to be still her original height and be a built woman and honestly fanarts with this concept of him is lacking :((. References of Fem! Eustass that I like would be here! (1) (2) (3)

Okay. . . First. Let's commence a background check

Okay {Name} got isekaid as Eustass Kid but Female.

It started when you visited the country of Japan, you have learned their language, their culture and their transportation for four years straight through the help of online tutors and vlogs.

Only to be wasted, the moment you set foot on the streets of Japan.

You got unexpectedly murdered from behind and you woke up as a familiar Child Character

You noticed it the moment you knew your name as Eustass Kid, and the sudden surge of memories flooded your brain that put you through a coma for 2 days and thankfully Killer had taken care of you.

You also fairly watched some episodes of One Piece and can't follow thoroughly due to your busy schedule but you managed, and Kid became an interesting character for you and now, you're in his body- The name sounds manly but hell your keeping it.

Now you and your crew are sailing to Sabaody, you managed to recruit atleast some canon side chracters due to the story and the world seemingly forcing some of its canon lines into you through any means because of your non-Kid-like actions.

You fixed up your hooded cloak and jumped in excitement with Killer sighing besides you

"Oh cmon they call it as the element of surprise!" You snickered and patted your best man's shoulder

Killer sighed once again at your antics and just went along with your 'plan'. Its isnt really a plan, its just a fun thing to do. Make the whole world believe your a man and pretty much your height, body structure and name made it more believable, although the world thinks your mute since Killer had always been speaking on your behalf

Its time for you to change this character's fate, Making an Alliance with Hawkins and X Drake will be good enough. Fuck Apoo. Even though you know that you wouldn't survive the fight with Red haired Shanks but hey, you're curious on how Kid lost his arm

Your ship docked on one of the Islands of Sabaody, you immediately jumped out of your ship and went to explore with some members of your crew behind you

You all explored everywhere, some of your crew buying well- stealing merchandizes of Soul King. It really shocked you when they revealed they're a fan of Soul King

You walked around aimlessly, you really dont remember what Kid did in the show while in Sabaody but you atleast need to be present in the auction house. Then music made your ears perked, You heard a very familiar and hateful voice.

Seems like you have some shit to take care of, you're not really mad about Apoo but the body your in is filled with raw anger and its apparently itching for a fight and who are you to betray it?

You smirked, Already forming a bulk of scrap metal with sharp nails on your right arm.

A revenge for Kid

Apoo was having fun with his crew in the town square, bass boosted speakers loud enough to shake the ground.

His thrill soon broke down when he dodged sharp claws that tore through his equipments and man was he bewildered and upset! Those were worth millions!

He dodged away when the Mysterious Captain Kid stood up from his broken speaker,"What a party pooper you are Eustass!" He groaned out and set himself in a position, double jointed arms already ready to attack and defend.

Although he immediately knew that half of his crew will end up injured if they fought them now and unprepared, suddenly being yanked to suberhood is rude and he doesn't really appreciate his groove suddenly being cut off. Before he could speak up to ask why the man did it, Basil Hawkins and X-Drake came tumbling in, fighting with their devil fruit powers

That gave enough time for Kid to go for Apoo's throat, The musician danced away from the dark blades and now started to fight seriously. There will be no exchange of words in this battle

It maybe lasted 20 minutes or longer when Apoo escaped, leaving the whole town destroyed and in chaos. Slaves escaping and rushing off and civilians running off to safety. You groaned in frustration as your magnet turns off, the metals dropping in a pile below you, You almost killed the guy

"You alright Kid?" Killer asked besides you

"Yeah. . . lets go" you muttered and went your way towards the auction house, Your crew following behind.

Now there you are with your crew at the very back, people rather ignoring your presence and any other pirates in there. Law of course gave you the middle finger, you only scoffed and looked away. Being middle fingered in your own experience is offending asf but not to close friends. You waited and waited, One of your crew wanting to leave since it was boring but the entry of a very familiar people made you smirk. Its near

You only leaned on the wall and just watched how the scene will behold itself. Right on cue, The Mermaid, Camie was brought on stage. Many nobles bidded for the mermaid until all went silent when a Celestial Dragon bidded

You watched the scene when the fishman got shot, you watched as the ceiling fell down, you watched as Monkey D. Luffy punch the Celestial and chaos insues. You chuckled, Your hair standing on end, Witnessing this with your own eyes is something to be greatful for

You and your crew just watched with the Heart Pirates, you watched when Rayleigh came. He glanced towards your way for a little and chuckled, talking to Luffy right after. Did he noticed your a woman?

The scene unfolds quickly, Now the three of you are walking in the hallway of the entrance, You walked silent with your hood up while the two bickered on whose going first. When you were near outside, you slapped behind their heads as you walked pass by them and smirked "Just sit back and relax, and let me do this shit you dimwits"

You stroded forward when both of them paused for a bit, Luffy quickly zooming right past you laughing "Nope Me!". While Law just smirked in amusement behind you

And shall Chaos be welcomed, You three fought off the marines, buying time for your crew to exit in the backdoor.

You dodged and took all metalic weapons of the marines, slammimg them to the ground and let its sharp shards shoot out towards their owners.

The moment you landed on the ground, you didn't notice someone had sliced off your hood from behind making it fall to the ground. Some marines stopped to double check and immediately be confused that Eustass Kid looks rather feminine

You punched the frozen marine on the nose and groaned out "That was my favorite hood dammit!"

Law whistled besides you while Luffy laughed out loud again, A midst from the fight Luffy shrunked after using his third gear mid air

You swooped him up and throwed him up the air "Times up kid, fall back!" You watched as he popped back to normal and went running towards the way your crew went with the Marines chasing from behind him

You ran besides Trafalgar with his crew "Neh, Kid-ya. I propose an alliance" he asked

You hummed in confusion "Huh?!" This wasn't suppose to happen??? What??

"Nah" You laughed after recovering quickly and ran down another road that lead through under a bridge, you heard Law merely chuckle before you were faced with explosions from the front

"CAPTAIN KID!" You looked besides you and found the Victoria Punk already sailing, you grinned and immediately dodged when another bomb bullet went through you

You looked infront and groaned out again, they were handling bazookas

You rolled your eyes and raised both your arms as another wave of bullets were shot and swerved its destination back towards the marines, the men and women yelled in a panick as the bullets went back and exploded right infront of them. You laughed aloud and immediately went to ran along side your ship as a rope got thrown down its sides and you quickly jumped on it and start to climb as the ship drifed apart from land

You grinned as you pulled yourself on to the deck and immediately barked out orders "Alright, lets loose this shits ya guys hear!?"

You were met with cheers as they run around the deck as you and Killer went on the top deck to outlook the marine ships that were starting to chase you "Oh this will he fun" You chuckled as your abilities pulsed on your arm

--

You groaned in relief as you leaned on a box of rum

It was late night on an Island somewhere, you all lost the marines after submerging most of the fleet and you all managed to escape to an Island, and it was a day before entering New World

You sagged your weary bones on the box as you watched the crew drunk around and go wild on the beach, eating and drinking and having fun celebrating before going through the most angsty shit that will happen to them once they entered the Lion's den

"Unusual of you not drinking" You heard Killer say as he sat down besides you with two bottles of rum

"Already have lots behind me" You chuckled but still took the one Killer had handed you

You sighed after gulping down half the bottle and let out an unflattering burp "Oh that hits the spot" you slurred

Killer chuckled and wrapped his arms around your shoulder and you leaned into his arms "I know your thinking, wayy too uncharacteristic of you-"

You laughed and jabbed him in the side with your elbow making him let out a yelp , both of you soon simmering down with a chuckle

"Dont worry about it, the sea will turn bad if I told you" You shrugged and drank down the bottle and threw it back once it was empty, Killer; again handing you the other

"Thanks" you muttered and drank it down again, sighing as your body relaxed more and leaned against Killer's shoulder

You both sat down in silence as you both watched the crew go crazy, staying warm through both the alcohol and eachother

And soon enough, new bounty pictures of 'The Mysterious Captain Eustass Kid' were set up, instead of a man covered in a dark hood, it's now a woman with fiery red hair

#one piece x reader #one piece x female reader #eustass kid #female eustass kid #eustass kid is reader #killer x reader #killer x female reader #one piece killer #one piece killer x reader #one piece killer x female reader #eustass kid x killer #one piece eustass kid x killer

[headcanonsandmore]

I meant to send this earlier and then forgot because I’m useless 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ 1, 10, 14 and 15 for Benton please (because I know how much you love him!) 😊

No worries, mate; I know being sick can knock it out of you. :) I do love Benton, it has to be said XD

1. how long have i known about them

I'd heard vaguelly about him on DW retrospectives but then I watched season 7 and thought 'he seems nice'. With each subsequent season, I adored him even more. Apparently I wasn't the only one; several hundred women in a factory up north wrote into the BBC demanding Benton be in more stories XD

10. my favorite moment with them in canon

It's a toss-up between Benton managing to stop Yates during the latter's brief indoctrination-into-eco-fascism, and Three telling Benton he makes one of the best coffees in the universe (I'm a sucker for the other characters being sweet to Benton, which is also why I love when Jo Grant refers to him as 'the lovely Sergeant Benton' in a letter she sends to UNIT after she leaves). But basically any moment where Benton is on-screen is my favourite moment. He's such a sweet bean.

14. what i liked about the way canon portrayed them

I love how it was originally a bit-part but the cast and crew liked John Levene so much he got to do more and more over time. I especially like how he goes from getting the short straw from Yates constantly (never quite forgave Yates for stealing Benton's sandwiches that time by pulling rank) to getting the last laugh. Not to mention how it's a canon fact that basically everyone likes him and knows him to be a fundamentally good person; the Doctor is suspicious of everyone during that dinosaur serial except Benton, because they knew Benton would never betray them. Even the Master respects how earnest and resourceful Benton is.

Also, love the little insights into his personal life, like how he takes his little sister to ballroom dancing lessons. If we're talking the novels, he also seems immune (like Dan Lewis) to attempts at mind control; the himbo power is strong in Benton!

15. what i dont like about the way canon portrayed them

I don't like how he ends his last appearance unconscious on the floor and the Fourth Doctor doesn't even bother to make sure he's okay. Bit of an unfair ending, in my opinion (one of the early reasons I had for not liking Four as much as I like Three and Five).

Also, don't like how the Brigadier clearly doesn't pay Benton enough; he has to deal with a lot of nonsense that is clearly well above his pay grade (not to mention the Brigadier being a jerk to him on several occasions).

Personally, I like the idea of Benton being involved in 'Mawdryn Undead'. Mainly because it would be nice for him to get a proper send-off, but also because (as neither of them were in the army anymore) he would have been able to tell the Brigadier to stop being a jerk. Bonus points if he also defends Tegan and Nyssa when the Brigadier was being a chauvinist to them (I know Tegan and Nyssa would have gotten along well with Benton, because that man CHUGS the respect women juice).

Thanks for the asks, mate!

#serenbex #ask #doctor who #sergeant benton #benton my beloved

[monstress]

succession finale thoughts

rewatching already because i need to write this down while i'm still on that finale high

the immediate problem of the episode is stewy making drama. i love himmm

why would "golden parachute" frank even be in the consideration to vote 'no' for the deal??? we're grasping at straws here oh i feel for tellis despite his soulless blond self

NICKY BEE FIRE IT UP ONE LAST TIME ... god im gonna miss this theme song 🥺

when shiv said that tom is easy to manipulate while mattson is looking at the political cartoon of them. what a blunder

shiv calling her mom an associate in front of mattson slkflskgls

"are there any positives about the nightmare we've shared?" "yeah you've fallen in love finally. fallen in love with our scheduling opportunities." goddddd im so obsessed...yessss they're so awfulllllll like so true jesse make this show also a story of their marriage noah baumbach whomst????

sorry to be so kenstewpilled but the white button down, sleeves rolled up and this line???? delectable. i must speak my truth here like how could stewy not vote 'no'?

new jess.....good for you Jess you escaped this sinking ship

i gasped seeing kendall's sunglasses this episode. that has to be japanese made. nowhere else in the world make such stylish sunglasses. gorgeous pair

greg makes 200k? per month OR year????? answer me. answer meeeeee

love the Lawrence name drop! like we miss u king

the entire lukas and tom dinner scene is sooooo

tom confessing all he he built was sand and he's paranoid to keep what he has. mattson knowing he's hungry but wants to know if he's willing to betray shiv

THEN lukas immediately belittling shiv : she was pushy, she wasn't as vital as i thought she'd be, i'm SUCH a big man i know everything, she's fuckable and she wants me too

and TOM eats it????? so mattson chooses him !!!!

ugh i dont want shiv she has a lot of ideas and i want to fuck her ugh fucking disgusting ubermensch i hope jeryd doesn't win ohio and waystar royco gojogo get FCC up in their ass

alexander skarsgard's line read and acting choices r amazing tho

me to my sister: why haven't any of them used a live translator to check what the swedes are talking about? (greg in the final episode uses one) OK FINALLYYYY

shiv screaming from another room is hilarious

logan promised kendall ceo when he was seven.......the crown prince.....if dad didn't need me i don't know what i would be for.....

shiv and roman bonding at the beach after election night. when they're doing impressions of kendall and knowing sarah and kieran are each other's fave scene partners....this scene was the one that hit me that i'm watching the FINALE finale

meal fit for a king scene....when i watched this scene i was all smiles but underneath the DREADDD knowing they might be showing this because it may be the final time the scenes are happy together. oh honey. we got a big storm coming.

not shiv saying all that to willa and connor not getting slovenia in the end....the terror

the iphone video dinner scene? cheesy as fuckkkkk im sorry that was sentimental as shit and maybe a tad unnecessary. i did cry tho i did...

"IT'S FUCKING TOM." the fight in the bathroom??? mattson rallying his crew???? the convoy to hq??? with THE MUSICCCCC???? FUCKKKK UGH HOT UGH!!!! GO OFF NICHOLAS!!!!

loveeee roman's all black outfit. so chic! (he's still mourning 🙃)

and we cheered. if anything else, us gay stewy truthers won succession

(also noticed that in the above pic - the only picture of the kids on logan's table is shiv. forshadowing? maybe, maybe not but lol)

the final 20 minutes of the finale *screaming into a pillow*

like roman immediately spiralling upon seeing gerri. doubting himself, questioning his autonomy, his worth. and did kendall....break roman's stitches on purpose. to like?? steady him somewhat??? good god. what the fuck.

shiv in this shot like...this is the closest to ultimate power she'll ever have and she's reveling in it. despite herself, she enjoys being kingmaker. that's why she went into politics

it's just. i wanna wrap my head around why shiv didn't vote 'no'. is it because she *has* seen the toxicity of protecting this company infect her brothers during election night? they should take the deal and get out? is it to freeze kendall and roman out of the company as they often had done to her? if i can't be ceo, then no one can? and mattson wants tom to be the ceo and i get to manipulate tom so i win this battle? i can keep my proximity of power by virtue of being a woman that my brothers would never have? is that it? does this make sense?

(but we all know mattson is keeping tom because he's a yes man. he won't have any real power in the waystar royco gojogo so like *sad kazoo noise*)

kendall lying about the manslaughter not being real. the real thing they've bonded over??? just because it may not make him ceo??? jelly-spined move

shiv laughing kendall going 'i'm the eldest boy' and walking away going "fucking child". lmaooo deserved

i wonder if roman saying all that abt sophie & iverson is a way to distract kendall from shiv, maybe even a little spite to get back at him for supposedly lying abt the manslaughter

roman going "we're nothing." yeah...yeah....you are.....

(but they have 195 per share....so)

kendall clicking the elevator to floor zero. cinema.

the one guy entering the elevator with kendall. has he been oblivious abt what just went down? if it were me, i'd wait for the next one

tom being ceo slgjklskglskglsklhgsfglskg

him keeping gerri and karolina this is a win for the glass ceiling shatterers /jk

and tom keeping greg? will he needs someone to bully since mattson&mencken is gonna use him as a punching bag in turn lol

yes the tiger! he destroyed his cage! yes YES the tiger is out!!!!

i truly can't believe that roman came out of this series unscathed (somewhat). like his breakthrough this episode? him realizing his self worth has been hinged on inheriting the company aka his father's love? time to go back to therapy

(also him drinking a martini because that's gerri's favorite drink. what a choice!)

and friends i was rubbing my hands with anticipation when tom approaches the car just hoping hopingggg shiv was in it and when it turns out she was??? i was chanting 'hand in unlovable hand' over and over and when tom offered his hand??? i was fully clapping it AND when shiv TOOK IT?? i was fully screamingggg

in all seriousness, what a bleak ending for shiv. relegating herself as the wife of ceo. just like her mother. the power dynamics of the man she think is beneath her is now her husband and the father of her child and in the company position she coveted all her life. she can never win...she willing stay in the tarpit....shiv my tragic girlfailure i love youuu

when kendall shows up in the park in a tweed coat i was like 'oooo i hope colin is behind him' and when they pan to show he is?????? i was cheering. the micheal corleonification of kendall roy

head under water.....aaaahhhh ambigious kendeath my beloved <3

#logs #succession hbo #succession spoilers #kenhive we won but lost 🫡

[angelicgaming1007]

My newest Tav: Ophelia TW: Kind of tragedy

This lovely character is Gortash's ex

yes you read that right

In my head canon, Gortash missed Durge so he ended up trying to be with someone else. Ophelia was a Rogue, a thief, a necromancer raising the dead for fun, she'd play gigs on the side at taverns with her lyre and pick the patrons pockets on her way out. Gortash thought she'd be perfect, wanting her necromancy skills on his side. But slowly grew to care for her. When he asked her to be his lover he presented her with that choker. She wore it with pride and accepted it happily because Gortash was one of the few people who didn't turn her away, the few people that didn't treat her with disgust for her necromancy. Gortash eventually broke up with her because she wasn't durge, he couldn't get over durge. Ophelia and him stayed friends and both still had feelings. And then when she was out on a mission to raise an undead for answers Gortash needed. She ended up taken by Mindflayers. Stop reading here if you are a Gortash fan and don't want to possibly cry.

The rest of my head canon is all act3

Ophelia arrives with the party in baldurs gate, Ophelia and Gortash pretend not to know eachother. Ophelia makes the deal with Gortash and lies to the party about betraying him later on. She knows she has to act fast to figure out how to save gortash from her own companions before the mindflayers are defeated.

When the party is asleep she goes to see him, hes angry at her for disappearing like that, he was worried sick but won't directly admit it. She explains what happened.

She then notices something wrong and inquires what happened to him. He informs her Durge is dead (killed by Orin, you can find Durge's body in the temple for those who dont know)

She doesn't know if to hug him or not until he grabs her arm looking up at her with sad eyes. Thats when she holds him tight trying to comfort him.

He finds out shes with Astarion now and that she became Astarion's spawn, hes hurt by the news. Tries to bargain with her, to rule together. Practically begging her without directly begging her.

She declines, expressing her love for Astarion, but informs Gortash she still loves him too. She reveals her party's plan to betray him. They scheme together to find a way to save him.

When he takes the (Can't remember what they are called. Stones? Gems?) he was attempting to help, Worried for her. When he dies she can't even cry, she can't even scream for him knowing it'd reveal to her party something she wasn't ready to. She has to go on fighting.

When everything is over and the party celebrates she sneaks away to look for Gortash's body, when she finds it she can't raise the corpse, it doesn't work, she can't say goodbye and she sobs over the corpse finally letting her grief out and thats how Astarion finds her.

She tells him everything and they bury the body together, keeping it all secret from the rest of the party as he takes her away to begin her life with him, to heal and rest and process everything together.

During the Epilogue Ophelia has healed from Gortash's death but still sometimes misses him. Withers brings Gortash from the dead to see her and she seperates from the party, none of them save Astarion know about it. She spends time with Gortash catching him up on everything in her life and he congratulates her wishing her well on her relationship with Astarion hoping he'll treat her the way Gortash wishes he had.

They reminisce on how different things may have gone if they hadn't broken up, how much more time they may have had. How their lives could have been if Ophelia never was taken by mindflayers. Ophelia finally gets all the closure she needed finally says goodbye.

Someone stop me and my headcanons please, I hurt myself with them Istg.

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #ascended astarion #bg3 tav #astarion x tav #astarion bg3 #bg3 gortash #gortash x tav

[ferniliciousness]

Happy N7 Month!

This is my first November in the fandom and I am genuinely excited and looking forward to it. Which feels weird cause this is the first fandom I've ever really been a part of. Mass effect has definitely really helped me the last few months, and I'm so glad I've gotten to meet some pretty cool people in the process lol.

Anyway, enough of the sappy stuff, that's not what this is about lmao. I've started a few projects for the month and I am very excited to share the first one with y'all. I've been working on this for like a month now 😭 and I'm actually proud of it so I hope you enjoy ☺️

Prompt: Tension

TW: Suicidal inclinations

*why didn't I just say no? I should have just said no?* Gaia's mind is racing standing next to Garrus and looking out over the street below them. Sidonis is here, and Gaia has to watch Garrus kill him. She has to change his mind, she just has to. Otherwise, everything she believes about herself is true; she deserves to die, she doesn't deserve to live, and there is no hope for redemption. *I'm worse than Sidonis. I deserve so much worse than him. If Garrus can't spare him, can't offer him even an ounce of forgiveness, what hope do I have?* Numbness, that all familiar numbness she knows too well takes over her body. She hates it. She despises it. She wants it to just go away, go away and let her feel again, feel the pain, feel the despair, feel the guilt. To suffer. Resting on the railing, her hands shake. Her heart races as she scans the crowd below her. She finds Shepard and then she sees him, the man who has betrayed them. *No, no, no, I can't let him do this, I can't. There has to be hope, there has to be a chance for me. God, please Garrus, please, show me I can still do good in this world. Show me you would forgive me, show me you would give me a chance. Please Garrus, I'm running out of hope.*

"There he is." Garrus' voice snaps her back to reality. Her lungs gasp, the breath she was holding finally escaping. Her knuckles turn white as her nails dig into her palm, begging her body to not give up, to keep feeling, to keep hoping. Even as she turns to Garrus and sees his determination, sees the anger in his eyes, she has to hope

"You're in my shot. Move to the side a bit so I can get him." Gaia knows if Shepard moves Garrus would not hesitate to pull the trigger. She can see his hands trembling, and notices his mandibles twitching, but she can't tell if it's from anger or anxiety. She hopes it's him questioning, rethinking all of this. "Shepard" his name escapes her, begging, pleading with him to not let Garrus do this. Her eyes follow the barrel of Garrus' rifle, down to where Sidonis stands in front of Shepard and she can't help but imagine. Imagine it was her at the end of his scope, imagine him shooting her. But Shepard doesn't move and she can hear hope in her comm. "Sidonis, I'm here to help you." He was doing it, he was actually doing it. She cant believe it. "Dammit Shepard! If he moves I'm taking the shot! With or without your help." His harsh words surprise Gaia. Garrus never speaks to Shepard like this. Gaia painfully listens to Sidonis explain, how the blue suns captured him, tortured him even. How much regret he feels for what he did. She knows all to well how he feels, the pain and guilt he's going through. She's angry at him, just like Garrus, but she can't blame him. Not when she is no better then he is. "It's up to you Garrus, I'm letting you decide this one. Kill him or dont." Shepard moves to the side while Sidonis stands still, defeated. The choice hangs heavy in the air and Gaia knows she has to say something, she has to try. "Garrus don't! Please, please don't. The guilt will cause enough suffering, you don't have to do this." Stepping forward in a rush, she can't help but reach a hand out towards him. As her heart is pounding in her ears she's barely even thinking. "What!" His head snaps to look at her, his mandibles flare, showing his teeth. The suddenness makes her pause but she doesn't back away. "Gaia, you of all people should want this. You were there, you saw what happened, you saw what his actions brought US! Our friends were killed. Because of him." His anger touches her heart in a way he will never know. It pushes her back, not out of fear, but sudden shame. It forces her to step back, away from him, but she can't bring herself to look away. She meets his anger and lets it burn inside her, adding to the hatred she already feels towards herself. "Garrus, please." No one moves, no one speaks, they all just stand in the dense quiet, the air thick with tension. Finally, Garrus turns to face Sidonis again. "I... I... Fine, just... just let him go."

Gaia stands perfectly still, not looking away from Garrus for a moment. She desperately reads his face, trying to decipher any emotions from him that she can. But all she finds is the Turians frantic attempt at hiding them. His mandibles won't stop fluttering, and even through her translator she can hear his rapid clicking. And worse yet, he refuses to look at her, yet, she can't look away. "Why? Why did you do that?" His voice is trembling with confusion. But she can't say anything. He wants answers, no. He deserves answers. But the most she can do is stare up into his eyes, while her own glaze over. She retreats into herself, hiding in the security of chaos that is her emotions, so that he can't see. "Gaia no!" His hand on her shoulder snaps her out of her escape. "No running away, not this time. You're going to answer me dammit." Hot air hits her face as he sighs. "Don't... Don't you think he deserves it? Don't you think that... That everyone... Everyone that died that day deserves justice? He killed them." Garrus chuckles, his eyes now just as lost as Gaia's a moment ago. "He betrayed all of them. His death would have paid for that. Doesn't.... Doesn't someone have to pay? Doesn't someone have to make it all right?" His hand let's go of her. *No, no, no, don't let go! Don't slip away from me! I can't! Garrus I can't!* She watches as his hand returns to his side, and all hope of moving forward goes with it.

"Then shoot me Garrus. Kill me. Let me pay." Gaia shoves her pistol into his chest, catching him by surprise while her eyes lock onto his. Wide eyes meet hers, full of confusion and worry. He tries to take a step back, but Gaia hooks her hand into his armor, holding him in place. "I have been the cause of so many deaths, deaths of innocent people. I have so much blood on my hands, blood spilt because of my actions." Her eyes never leave his, reflecting an honest guilt and a long-felt resolve. "I have cheated, stolen, lied." Gaia takes another step closer to him, pointing the barrel of the pistol to her chest. "I have betrayed people who trusted me, people who cared about me." The words came out calmly, years worth of turmoil and pain simmered down into Gaia's heartfelt belief in herself. Pointing down to where Sidonis had stood only moments before, "If he is deserving of this, then I am deserving of so much more. If someone has to pay for it, let me." Tears threaten to spill from her eyes, but her voice never falters. Garrus tries to carefully pry the gun away from her, but her own fingers threaten to set it off. They both can hardly breathe, but even in the brief moment of silence, Gaia's hands just hold tighter to the pistol. "You say you believe in justice, in righting wrongs against innocent people. So show me Garrus. Show me. Pull that trigger and bring justice to me. Let me make it right."

Garrus tightens his grip around her hands, pushing on her palm, trying to get her to let go. Gaia could feel gentle thrums through his chest, his way to try and calm her down. Her fingers slip away from the trigger, his large hands gently guiding them away as he takes hold of the gun. Her body feels numb, and the world around her is quiet, she barely even notices him doing it. "Gaia. I.... I'm not going to shoot you." His mandibles click, quickly chattering against his cheeks. "I can't.... I don't know what you think you did, or why you think you deserve this, but this isn't your crime to pay for." The silence between them can almost be touched, as they stand in front of one another. Gaia's arms slowly fall to her side, letting go of his armor. "You ok?" Garrus' words finally breach the quiet. He wants to know, to understand. Gaia doesn't even know herself, but she doesn't want him to worry. "Yeah" a weak smile is all she has to offer him, and he sees right through it. "Gaia" The question behind his words is evident but Gaia has no desire to answer him, even if she knows she will eventually. "No. I'm not talking about it. Not right now." Gaia looks over the railing at the crowd walking below them, oblivious to everything that had just occurred. The tension between making the air feel thick. Gaia hears Garrus' hard sigh, he must still be upset, just as her emotions were still on a high. "Alright." Leaving it at that, Garrus walks behind her, pulling her rifle off of her back, before continuing down the walkway. Surprise pulls Gaia out of the awkwardness. "Hey, I said I was ok didn't I?" She jogs to catch up with him, his long strides covering much more distance than her. "I never said you weren't." He was upset, angry even, that was clear, but Gaia knows, he still cares. The realization hits her, standing in the street watching him walk back. She doesnt understand why or how he does, and she thinks that she never will, but she is grateful for it.

#n7month #n7 month 2023 #mass effect #garrus #garrus vakarian #gaia #mefic #im genuinly so proud of this #omg #im nervous too #but like #i love it #will probably post it on ao3 eventually lol

[oreosmama]

Uh hi Im new here but I read your red thing of nothingness and could you write a alternative ending where reader actually cuts the red string, Im on an angst crave hehe you don't have to if you don't want to thank you!

AHHHHHHH DONT MAKE ME CRYYYYY

i mean....

like....

or....

you could just....

pretend the second part doesn't exist and consider that the ending?

ALSO

i totally get it

so here's the gist of how i would write that

she snips the string

and kenma's too late.

both stagger back, and yn's fucking bawling at this point

kenma rushes to gather up the string in his trembling hands but it just disintegrates into dust (bc fanfic magic yaayyyy)

he's trembling so hard that he can't even breathe and his gaze rises, so slowly until he sees you. god, his heart's just fucking aching at this point, why would you ever do this?

but he knows why--he's known why for so long now.

and you, god, every emotion ran through you like a train. you've got half a sob gathering in your throat and clogging up the rest of the damn so violently that youre gasping.

it hurts. u can both feel it. the loss. the gaping hole that's left

kenma watches as you shudder, shaking the desk so hard the scissors fall to the floor.

He knows its his fault. You know that too.

yet, evil and fucking cruel as it is, he feels betrayed that you could do this.

he has no right to say it.

but how could you do this?

but he has NO right to say that.

and you tell him so. you mouth it because the pain lodged in your throat doesn't even allow a whisper. don't you fucking dare, you say. I had every right to do this. You have HER. I had NO ONE.

and he wants to say 'you had me' and 'you've had me all along,' but he can't

he wilts to the floor, gaze locked on the pair of scissors, fist at his chest. like pressing hard enough would stop the bleeding.

you lean back against the desk, white-knuckled hands gripping so tightly as your eyes find the ceiling. You close them.

neither of you can bear to look the other in the eye anymore. seeing what you've done to one another is unbearable.

betrayals of the worst kind.

#kenma x reader #haikyuu soulmate au #kozume x reader #oreosmama talks